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in-my-feels-probably · 1 year

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Sirius x pureblood!reader inspired by ivy by Taylor swift where reader’s parents r extremely against sirius because of his reputation

Ivy

Request: Sirius x pureblood!reader inspired by ivy by Taylor swift where reader’s parents r extremely against sirius because of his reputation

and: sirius black x pureblood!slytherin!reader where they have known each other since they were younger but drifted for obvious reasons. the drift causes resentment in each side which leads to snarky comments and lots of sexual tension in their later hogwarts years lol. eventually they get into an argument or something and the reader insists she is the same person she was when they were younger where as sirius is like no ur an uptight b. anyway this leads to sirius almost challenging her to prove herself to him and so even tho she is freaked out when he shows up outside the slytherin common room one night and says they are sneaking out to see a muggle concert she has no choice but to oblige. it ends up being an amazing night for both of them and they realized the love they had for each other as children truly never died.

Hi! I’m so sorry it took me so long to get to these requests, and I hope it’s alright I combined them. They worked really well together. Ivy is one of my favorites by Taylor, and it was so fun writing this based on that song.

Also, the reader isn’t actually a pureblood, just raised by a pureblood family. It just worked out easier for me to write this that way, hope that’s alright, too. Anyways, thank you again for being patient! I hope you enjoy!

(Warnings: swearing, smoking, mentions of Sirius’s home life, insults, guilt, let me know if i missed anything)

—

How's one to know?

I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones

In a faith-forgotten land

You should have known what you had with Sirius was never going to last.

Growing up as the daughter of two prominent pureblood wizards in high society, there was certain expectations of you to follow in their footsteps. Except, you weren’t exactly pureblood yourself. You were just a baby when you were orphaned by the beginning of the war, and your parents just so happen to not be able to have children themselves. And—although you were the child of two halfbloods—they thought if they took you in young enough, it wouldn’t really matter. They’d raise you as your own, and you’d be no different than the rest of the pureblood children.

But there were whispers.

They were never confirmed by anyone, but your family could still hear them. Whispers of your true birth—which meant that all your life, you had to be on your best behavior. And that was quite hard to be on when Sirius Black was your best friend. At least, he was your best friend.

You weren’t sure what he was to you now.

You were very close in your first few years at Hogwarts. Even when you were sorted into Slytherin, he overlooked it. Although he had his opinions, he didn’t look at you any differently—just like you didn’t look at him any differently when he was sorted into Gryffindor. You were always by his side, even when your parents hated it, so what did he have to judge you for? If you could overlook all his flaws and caveats, he would welcome yours.

It was no secret that your parents hated Sirius. While they had a certain respect for Walburga and Orion—who seemed to like you—they just couldn’t stomach Sirius. Regulus, they liked. He was a good boy, and he never got into trouble or brought shame upon his family.

Sirius was another story.

But you never cared. You didn’t buy into the blood purity prejudice parade that your parents and their friends tried to sell you.

But, unlike Sirius, you weren’t so loud about your distaste for it. Despite wanting to stand up to your parents about it, you couldn’t. There was already a lot depending on you, and you were too afraid to disrupt the small sense of normalcy you had in your life. Letting it go was too much change, and you didn’t much like change.

There was a time in Sirius’s life where he found your reserved manner charming. It was one of your cute little traits that made you who you were.

There was one evening when you received mail from your parents at dinner, and he came over and snatched it out of your hands before you could stop him. He was joking of course, but as he read over it, his face fell.

“This is the third letter in a month your Mother has sent telling you to stay away from me,” he mused, a sad smile on his face. “They really hate me.”

This wasn’t the first time you’d had a conversation like this, and there wasn’t much you could do to ease his pain. All you could do was take his hands in yours, squeezing them tight.

“I’m sorry, Sirius. They’re set in their ways, there’s nothing I can do to change that. But you know I don’t hate you. I never will. And I’ll never let them stop me from seeing you. You’re my best friend, and I’ll never let them change that. One of these days, I’ll muster up the courage to tell them that to their faces.”

He just shook his head, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he changed the subject. “It’s alright, darling. We’ve got plenty of time to piss off your Mother and mine until we actually need to do something about it.”

But as the war came closer, and it was time to start making bold choices, he grew tired of always waiting for you to speak up. There wasn’t much you could do about it, either. You loved him more than pretty much anyone else in your life, but even that love couldn’t squander the fear you felt when being with him meant breaking too many rules.

Slowly but surely, you started losing your best friend.

Your relationship came to a standstill the first evening back to term after Sirius had spent his second entire summer locked up in his house. He couldn’t see anyone, most definitely not you. Neither of your parents would have allowed it—punishment for Sirius, and a regulation for you.

“You could have owled,” he teased when you found each other after dinner, but you could see the hint of sincerity in his eyes.

“You know my Mother never would have allowed it, and your Mother never would have let you read it even if she did, Sirius.”

He sighed in frustration. “For once, I just wish you’d stand up to her.”

“Is that so?” You asked, pulling him into a corner away from prying eyes. “You know as well as I do why I can’t do that. I told you, one day I’ll figure it out. But you can’t ask me to do it now. I’m not brave like you—”

“You are brave like me. It’s a wonder you weren’t sorted into Gryffindor,” he laughed, but you could see the sadness in his eyes.

You moved to wrap your arms around his waist, settling your cheek against his chest. You could feel him heave a breath, but he wrapped his arms around your shoulders anyway. You stood in silence together for a moment longer, gently swaying back and forth before you spoke.

“I’m sick of arguing with you over this,” you murmured into his chest. “I really fucking am.”

Sirius gripped you tighter. He felt like letting you go meant he was doing far more than just physically letting you go. It was more than that—it was letting you leave him. And he wasn’t sure he could stomach that just yet. But he knew…you both did. He’d released his grip a long time ago. Anything now was futile, like grasping for straws.

Still, he held you tight against him. He would allow himself this. He didn’t have to let you go just yet.

“Me too, love. Me too.”

In from the snow

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow

Tarnished but so grand

How unfortunate that the time you were most cross with each other was the time you found each other the most attractive.

It was ridiculous, really—how pretty he was.

He grew into himself over the years, confidence quite literally radiating off him. He had some attractive friends too—who were generally friendly with you—but none of them in your opinion held a candle to Sirius. There was just something about him. And while Sirius showed interest in other girls, he just couldn’t seem to shake you.

By Fifth Year, you were in a quarreling stage of your relationship.

You’d had many nights like the one you had after dinner, and they hadn’t all been so cordial. There wasn’t two people in the whole of Hogwarts more stubborn than the two of you. And you found many reasons to butt heads like rams.

It was just who you were to each other now.

No longer best friends, but people who knew too much about each other. People who knew all the right ways to piss the other one off. You know all of each other's likes and dislikes—anything that made the other tick.

In his absence, you grew more sure of yourself. Less afraid to speak out about things that bothered you, and less afraid to stand up to those who had something to say about you. Recently, Sirius had been trying his luck with you. He couldn’t help himself. Pissing you off and seeing your reaction was like a drug to him, and he was hooked.

“Look at you…practically fuming,” he smirked when he messed with your cauldron in Potions. “It’s kinda hot.”

“So mature, aren’t you?” You snapped, shooing him away from the table.

He snickered as he walked back to his own work station, and he left you alone for the rest of class. You spent the remaining time trying to fix what he had ruined. By the time the period was over, you were seeing red. Sirius casually strolled out the door behind his friends, and you marched after him in a fury. You grabbed him by the back of his cloak, spinning him around.

“What the fuck is your problem, Black? What did I ever do to you?”

“What did you ever do to me?” He asked sharply, before taking a breath and forcing himself to relax. “When did you get so uptight, love?”

He tried to turn to walk away, but you grabbed his forearm, yanking him back toward you. You held him tight, your fingers making indentations on his skin. He looked down slowly, carefully watching where your body was meeting his. You took a breath, easing your grip once you realized just how close to him you had gotten. His friends carefully watched a few feet away, silent as they waited for Sirius to speak.

You cleared your throat, running your thumb along his reddened skin before dropping his arm. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to grab you that hard.”

He could barely hear you from how quiet you were speaking. He just shook his head, looking at you with curious eyes. He knew he had overstepped, but was too proud to say anything. So he just shrugged you off, rubbing at his arm.

“You’ve got claws…shame you didn’t use them when I needed them.”

He turned around and left before you could get out another word.

But I don't, I just sit here and wait

Grieving for the living

You weren’t speaking by the time you found out Sirius had run away from home.

It broke your heart when you found out. You may have been one of the only people in the world who understood what he was going through, down to the exact same rhetoric your parents would use to try and convince you to be good children—and the punishments they’d dole out when you didn’t listen. You felt nothing but guilt, knowing he needed someone to save him…and you weren’t there.

Instead, he had to save himself.

But more than anything, you grieved for him. Not for his life, but for the one you could have had with him. When you were kids, you thought you’d be best friends forever. Side by side, always there when the other needed them.

But now?

Now he was having to make a new life for himself. He had new best friends by his side, who took better care of him than you ever could have. And you grieved that missed opportunity.

You missed him.

You figured it wouldn’t take much—to take him back into your life. All he had to do was ask, if he even still wanted that. You’d had your share of fighting, and would much rather go back to being strangers. That was much easier than passing him in the halls every day and wishing he was someone else to you.

Clover blooms in the fields

Spring breaks loose, the time is near

What would he do if he found us out?

Crescent moon, coast is clear

Spring breaks loose, but so does fear

He's gonna burn this house to the ground

You had one night separating all those days of fighting.

You weren’t even sure how it happened. You’d had a particularly bad day, and you weren’t in the mood for your regularly scheduled spat with Sirius. You’d skipped all of your classes you had with him, and he of course had taken notice.

He found you down by the Black Lake, where you’d go to get some peace and quiet. You could hear the leaves crunching under his boots, turning around to see him coming down the hill. You sighed, putting your head in your hands.

“Not in the mood today, Sirius,” you said over your shoulder. “Go home…please.”

He shook his head, coming to sit down next to you. “No—no, I don’t think I will.”

You didn’t have it in you to fight with him. Clearly, he had noticed your absence. That was something, wasn’t it? It was quiet for a moment as you watched the water from the lake lap onto the shore, before you felt a warm hand on your knee. You looked over to see Sirius gazing down at you, a mild look of concern on his face.

“Not gonna fight me for sitting down? Not gonna shove my hand off your knee?”

You shrugged, shaking your head. “You can do whatever you want with your hands. I don’t care.”

Sirius smiled to himself, knocking his shoulder with yours. He didn’t move his hand, instead tracing his thumb absentmindedly back and forth along the curve of your knee as he spoke.

“You weren’t in class. It’s not like you to break the rules—”

“I break plenty of rules,” you snapped, feeling your skin heat underneath his palm. “But how would you know? You barely talk to me anymore.”

He let out a laugh, a giddy feeling spreading in his chest. “I know you well enough, Y/N. And I know you don’t break the rules. Too uptight, maybe.”

“Or too scared,” you retorted, slapping his hand. “But you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

He let out a laugh, slinging an arm around your shoulder. “Merlin, you really are a bitch.”

“Takes one to know one,” you said without hesitation.

Sirius seemed surprise for a moment, not expecting your retort. But after a moment—in his usual fashion—he grinned at your snark, turning to face the shoreline. You turned as well, watching the light glisten on the water as the sun began to set behind the trees. With Sirius so close to you, you couldn’t help but ponder the life you had once had with him. It wasn’t that long ago that you’d find yourself shoulder to shoulder with him, trying to choke down the butterflies in your throat as his skin brushed yours.

“Do you remember when we were kids?” You finally managed to say, letting out a breath. “When we were little, and you owled me after your Mother had punished you? It was the first summer she wouldn’t let you leave Grimmauld Place.”

Sirius stiffened next to you, clenching his jaw. But after a moment, he gave you a slight nod of acknowledgement.

“I had barely learned how to use the Floo on my own, but I knew it was my only way to get to you. I managed to sneak out before my parents found out, and I came to you as quickly as I could. I found you out in the gardens behind the house. Do you remember what you said to me?”

It took him a long while to speak. He didn’t dare look at you, keeping his eyes on the lake as you waited for him to speak.

“The ivy grows thick here,” he finally said, the slightest waver in his voice. “Mother can’t find us.”

You nodded, brushing your knee against his. “That’s right. I sat with you in that garden all night. And, Merlin, I was scared out of my mind. I knew I was in for a world of trouble when I got back home to my parents, but I didn’t care. That didn’t matter to me. All that mattered was you. I came for you…I always came for you.”

You suddenly felt a burning anger brewing in your chest, and you pushed Sirius away. You quickly stood up, leaving him bewildered in the grass next to you. He followed you up, managing to catch your wrist before you could march back up the hill.

“Calm down!” He shouted, his grip unrelenting. “What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

You scoffed, a dark chuckle pulled from your chest. “You wanna know why I wasn’t in class? Because I didn’t want to see you.”

Sirius stuttered, unable to form a response. He watched as angry tears clouded your eyes, but you quickly wiped them with the heels of your palms before they could fall. You took a grounding breath, watching him stare helplessly back at you.

“There it is…that’s the look. I didn’t want to see those eyes staring back at me, looking at me like I’m the one who changed. Like I’m the one who suddenly decided to abandon you and choose the wrong side. I never did that, Sirius. Why do you treat me like I did? I’ve always tried so hard to be a good friend to you, even when it would get me nowhere good. You’re the one who changed, not me. And you can’t handle the fact that I’m not like you—that I can’t bring myself to be as bold as you.”

He shook his head as he stepped closer, his voice assertive and stern. “I never said that—”

“You didn’t have to!” You spat, ripping your arm out of his hold. “That look in your eye is enough.”

You turned away, running your hand down your face. Grief and anguish bubbled in your throat, burning your esophagus as you choked down a sob. You wouldn’t cry in front of him. He didn’t deserve your tears. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound coming from the lapping of the Black Lake and the ragged breaths coming from you both. You turned back to him, ignoring the ache in your chest when you saw his pained expression. He was standing so still—like if either of you moved, you’d both crumble, and there’d be no one left to pick up the pieces to put you back together.

“I’m still me, Sirius,” you managed to say, your voice sincere. “Why can’t you see that?”

Sirius looked at you for a long while. You shifted under his gaze, debating bolting up the hill before he could catch you. But then, he stepped closer. He gently reached up, running his thumb along your cheek. You sharply inhaled, waiting for him to speak. His voice was soft—forgiving.

“I’ll believe it when I see it…all you have to do is show me.”

He pressed a chaste kiss to the top of your head, quickly walking back up the hill before you could even get your feet to move.

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

You didn’t see Sirius the entire weekend.

Granted, you mostly stuck to your dorm, but you didn’t even see him at meals. He was either sneaking food, or waiting for you to leave until he sat down for his dinner. You almost could have thanked him for it.

It was an indescribable feeling—thinking about Sirius.

Your night at the lake had certainly given you a lot to think about, and it often overwhelmed you. You tried your best to distract yourself, never letting your thoughts of him creep in for too long. Sirius—in usual Sirius fashion—eventually forced you to confront him, at least once he finally forced himself to confront you first.

You were by the window in one of your secret hideouts when an owl came to the window with a note in its grip. You raised a brow in confusion, plucking it from the bird and watching as he flew back into the night sky. How did anyone know where you were, or how to find you? You immediately recognized the handwriting as you unraveled the small piece of parchment, almost in disbelief as you read the words.

It read,

Y/N,

I’m starting to believe you…but it’s time you showed me. Prove me wrong, darling. I very much want to be wrong. Meet me in the corridor in front of your Common Room in ten minutes, and don’t let anyone else see you. You say you always come to me—so come. Please.

Yours,

Sirius

You chuckled to yourself in disbelief. He was so formal, even doing something as simple as sending a note. That was just part of his upbringing, you supposed. He never did anything without a little style. You shook your head, crumpling the note and shoving it into your pocket as you stood up. The Slytherin Common Room was at least a ten minute walk from your hideout, and you figured Sirius had already started walking to meet you there.

You wasted an entire minute with your feet planted on the floor before you finally forced yourself to move—and then you were really moving. What am I doing? What am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing, you thought to yourself. You couldn’t shake the question, thinking it the rest of the way to the corridor when you turned the corner, running straight into Sirius’s chest.

“Shit,” you mumbled, steadying yourself by holding onto the wall.

Sirius grinned, reaching a hand out to steady you. “What took you so long? I was beginning to think you’d stood me up.”

“I don’t see why we had to meet out here,” you said, motioning around to the dungeons. “You knew where I was—and I won’t ask you how you knew that, although it’s a bit concerning. But you knew where I was, so why not just come to me? Or ask me to come to you?”

He shrugged, looking around. “Maybe I wanted to see what your life is like down here. Maybe I wanted to see what mine could have been.”

You nearly laughed. Sirius had come from all the way up in the mighty Gryffindor Tower to the depths of the castle to see you, all the way down in the dungeons where the Slytherin Common Room resided. The very air was colder, the Black Lake seeming to loom over the windows.

You watched as he looked around, leaning against the wall yourself. “Is that important to you—me being down here? Why I’m down here, and why you’re not?”

Sirius tore his gaze from the castle walls to look at you, his face contemplative. He spoke after a short while, his voice soft.

“No,” he finally decided, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I thought it was, but now it seems…minuscule.”

You smiled to yourself. “Big word, Sirius. Did your fancy education teach you that one? You know—the same one I had?”

He chuckled, watching you with curious eyes. Finally, he pulled his hand out of his pocket, along with two pieces of paper. He held them out for you to take.

“My cousin Andromeda got these for me,” he grinned as you read over them. “She can’t use them anymore, and she figured I would want to. David Bowie is coming to London tonight. He’s a muggle musician—”

You snickered, nodding. “I know who he is, Sirius. You forget which one of us isn’t actually a pureblood. I know my parents don’t let me do much, but I do know some things. Like how Bowie is actually a wizard, but chooses not to practice.”

Sirius’s eyes widened. “What? How do you know that?”

“Remus told me,” you shrugged, laughing when his eyes opened even wider. “I have Charms with him. He’s smart, he knows things. I figured I’d have the best chance making it through the class with him close by. I do actually talk to people in your House other than you, you know. Is that so surprising?”

“He’s never mentioned you,” he murmured, looking a little bewildered.

“So? Are you jealous?” You joked, but by the way the corner of his mouth quirked, you were beginning to think he actually was. “Enough small talk, then. Why are you here, Sirius? What do you want?”

Sirius seemed to snap back into himself, his grin returning as you passed him back the tickets. He slid them in his pocket, turning his attention back to you.

“You’re coming with me.”

It was your turn to look bewildered. You stuttered, shaking your head frantically as his grin widened. He was enjoying watching you squirm, that much was clear.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on, darling—live a little,” he mused, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “You have nothing to worry about, I’ve got it all taken care of. You just have to come with me.”

“And why would I do that?” You asked, shrugging his arm off your shoulders.

Sirius’s grin widened. “Because—you have to. You can’t say no.”

You shook your head, scoffing. “Why not?”

Sirius sighed, stepping closer and placing both his hands on your shoulders. He held you steady, looking you in the eye as he spoke.

“I want to be wrong about you, I really do. I won’t lie and say I haven’t missed you, because I have. I really have. We used to get in so much trouble together. And, lucky for you, I’ve pretty much perfected the art of evading trouble. Really, I’ve got quite the knack for it.”

“I’m waiting for the point, Sirius,” you said, looking towards the Common Room door. “I’m tired, and you’re making me stand out here in the cold.”

“It’s not my fault it’s dark and dingy down here,” he mused, jumping back and laughing when you tried and failed to swat at his arm.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a modified map of the Hogwarts grounds. He turned away from you as he murmured something you couldn’t quite catch, turning back around to show you the now open map. Your eyes widened as you watched pieces of the map move on the page, unable to stifle your shock when you found both your names printed just in front of the Slytherin Common Room door.

“What—what is this?”

“I’m putting a lot of trust in you here, so don’t tell Remus or James that I showed you this,” he said, taking the map from your hands. “But this is our map. It’s enchanted, clearly. We’ve been working on it for years. It shows us every secret passageway we’ve found to get in and out of Hogwarts, and it tells us where everyone is so we never get caught if someone is coming. It’s how I found you tonight.”

“Invasion of privacy, don’t you think?” You asked, but you were too enamored by the map to really care.

You heard him chuckle, looking up to see him grinning at you. “Don’t flatter yourself, darling. This is the first time I’ve looked for you on it. You’re not that interesting.”

You glared up at him, placing your hands on your hips. “You’ve got twenty seconds and I’m going inside. And I’ll let you know in the morning whether or not I’m going to hex you for this.”

Sirius smiled, looking at you with a glint in his eye you hadn’t seen in a long while—at least directed at you. There was a feeling so distant but familiar brewing in his chest, and he pushed you one last time to listen to him. He had to try.

“There’s that fire in you. It’s time to use it. You say you haven’t changed? You say you’re still the same girl I’ve always known? Prove it. You say you always come for me? Then come. I’ve got the map, and I can get us out of the castle to the concert and back without anyone even noticing we were gone. All you have to do is come with me. Trust me, just this once. And I’ll get on my hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness if you show me the girl I knew isn’t truly gone. Come with me, and I promise I’ll make it up to you—for however long it takes. I’ll change.”

He reached for your hands, taking them in his. You let out a sharp breath, but you didn’t pull away as he looked at you with soft eyes.

“Or…you can go through that door and up to your room, and I’ll leave you alone. No more teasing, no more snarky remarks, no more late night talks—nothing. This’ll be it. I won’t come find you…I’ll let you go.”

You could feel your chest tighten as he spoke. It sounded so final, and it was making your head spin. The thought of Sirius truly leaving you alone and never talking to you again made you want to crawl into a pit and never come out.

You couldn’t quite tell why.

You’d done nothing the last few months but argue and bicker, always bitter over the choices the other was making. It was clear to anyone on the outside watching you both that you hadn’t been the same for a long time. In a way, Sirius was right—you had changed. For the better? That was up for you to decide. But he had changed, too. And you were starting to think you had been wrong about him. Maybe he had changed for the better, and he was trying to show you.

“But know that I don’t want that,” he murmured as he squeezed your hands, pulling you from your thoughts. “Not at all. I want you back. I want you to come with me. Just say you will. Please.”

It was now or never. He watched with a look of hope on his face as you opened and closed your mouth a few times, struggling to find the right words to say.

Finally, you let out a breath, squeezing his hands. “Okay…okay, I’m in. Let’s go.”

Sirius couldn’t have grinned wider. It actually looked like it hurt, how hard he was smiling. The little laugh he let out was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile, too.

He squeezed your hand in his, and whisked you off down the corridor before you had the chance to protest.

So yeah, it's a fire

It's a goddamn blaze in the dark

And you started it

You started it

So yeah, it's a war

It's the goddamn fight of my life

And you started it

You started it

After a very confusing path of twists and turns, a couple Floo’s, and a very sketchy bus you had to sneak your way onto, you found yourself standing shoulder to shoulder with Sirius in a large crowd of people, waiting for the concert to start. It was loud and chaotic, a cloud of smoke hanging in the air. Sirius—of course—was adding to it, a cigarette in his hand.

You looked around, a feeling of unease settling in your stomach. There was so many people. So many strangers, and it was all a bit overwhelming.

Not only that, you couldn’t shake the feeling that at any second, someone was going to find you and bust you. Someone was going to tell your parents that you had snuck out of school—with Sirius of all people—and you were going to face the punishment of a lifetime. Someone was going to spread the word that you were out with the most popular blood traitor in the country, and you were going to put both him and you at risk, all because you couldn’t let him let you go.

Sirius must have noticed your look of concern, because he nudged you in the side, bending down to you ear so you could hear him. “What is it, love? Nervous?”

“No,” you shook your head, though you knew you weren’t convincing anyone with that look on your face. “It’s just—really crowded in here. And loud.”

Sirius nodded, giving you a warm smile. You were being so brave. It made his chest flutter, and he didn’t quite know what to do with that feeling. He pulled you toward him and placed you in front of him, letting his arms wrap around your shoulders. Your back was to his chest, a comforting warmth coming off him.

“This alright?” He asked, running his thumb along your arm.

You nodded, smiling to yourself. You didn’t have much time to sit in the feeling, because the house lights went down, and the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. You could feel Sirius shaking with excitement behind you, letting out whoops and shouts as the stage lit up. You looked over your shoulder up at him, smiling at the look of pure joy on his face.

The whole concert went by in a blur.

You sang along to the songs you knew, swaying along to the music as you watched. It was an entrancing performance, but it didn’t hold a candle to the concert Sirius was putting on behind you.

He knew every single word, buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t keep still, jostling you around as he kept you close and away from the ruckus of the crowd. It was adorable, you had to admit. He bent down every once in a while, checking in on you and making sure you were alright. During the slow songs, he swayed with you back and forth, laughing when you stumbled over his feet.

As you slowly filed out of the building amongst the crowd after the show ended, Sirius kept a tight grip on your hand to make sure you didn’t get seperated. You couldn’t deny the buzz that went through you every time he squeezed your hand, having to take a breath every once in a while to calm yourself. When you finally made it back on the street, Sirius was quick to bring you along the winding path that brought you back to the castle.

You barely had time for small talk, having to rush to get back to the dungeons. You had hardly spoken at all until you found yourself back in front of your Common Room door, a silence throughout the castle—except for the portraits on the wall, who Sirius threatened to hex if they didn’t keep quiet.

You turned to Sirius, a small smile on your face. “Happy now?”

He chuckled, nodding. “You have no idea.”

“I think you had more fun than anyone else in that crowd,” you mused, taking a seat on the step that led up to the door. “But maybe that’s because you were all I could really hear. Singing isn’t one of your talents, Black.”

Sirius placed a dramatic hand on his chest, feigning offense. “Hey! I’ll have you know it is one of my many talents. You were lucky enough to witness it.”

You chuckled, a comfortable silence falling over you both. This was good. This felt familiar. Bickering in the way lifelong friends do, not friends who are teetering over the edge of never speaking again. You were afraid of what going with him tonight was going to do to you both, but this was good—it was worth it.

In a very unusual turn of events, Sirius was—for once—having trouble finding the right words to say.

There was so much he wanted to say—so much he needed to say—and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to. There was peace between the two of you. A calm that was rare, and he was too afraid to disturb it.

You were smiling at him.

A genuine smile, and he would have rather been caught a thousand times than see it fall. So he didn’t speak. He just offered you a hand, helping you up from the step.

“You should get some sleep,” he said quietly, stepping back once you were settled. “If we stay out here any longer we might actually get caught by a Prefect, and I know you’ll punish me far more than they would.”

You chuckled, nodding. You didn’t want him to go. You found yourself wanting to come up with random topics, just so he could stay and keep talking to you. But instead, you walked up to the top of the steps, stopping just in front of the door. You looked over your shoulder, smiling once more down at him.

“Goodnight, Sirius.”

He smiled back, turning to leave. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

And now I'm covered

In you

One thing you had forgotten about Sirius was how much he likes to sleep in.

You found yourself looking for him at breakfast in the morning, before you remembered how late you had gotten back to the castle. Sirius was absolutely not a morning person, and he certainly would have been in bed all morning into the early afternoon.

You had to swallow your nerves, taking calming breaths as you ate your food. He’d come to you when he was ready. He certainly had the means to with the map.

All you had to do was wait.

And sure enough, he found you once again down by the Black Lake. You could hear him coming, snickering at the obnoxious tune he was whistling as he came to sit next to you. You looked over at him, raising a brow as he gave you a grin.

“It’s two in the afternoon, Sirius.”

“I’ve been busy,” he shrugged, letting his knee rest against yours. “I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s never good—” You joked, but he was quick to interrupt you before you could turn the conversation.

“I’ve been thinking about you.”

You could feel your heartbeat quicken, swallowing hard. You forced yourself to remain calm, swallowing your nerves. Of course you had been thinking about him, too. But you waited for him to speak, letting him go first.

“I’ve decided that you were right,” he admitted, locking eyes with you. “I am different. But so are you—and I think that’s a good thing. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.”

“And what prompted this decision—last night?” You asked, your voice soft.

He shook his head. “Last night was just the trigger, I guess. I think I had been noticing signs for a long time, and I just didn’t know what to do about it. Lucky for me, you’re too stubborn to let me be wrong.”

You couldn’t help but smile. With a breath of courage, you took his hand, fiddling with one of his rings.

“I’ve decided something, too.”

He grinned, watching as you twisted the ring around his finger. “Oh, you have?”

“Yes, yes I have.”

“And what is that?” He asked, leaning closer ever so slightly.

“I’ve decided that the next time my Mother sends me another semi-threatening letter full of veiled threats that she tries to cover up with hints of love, I’ll at least consider telling her to piss off. And—assuming you're ever mentioned in that letter—I’ve decided I’ll tell her to piss off about that, too.”

Sirius stilled, grabbing onto the hand you were using to twist his ring. “Are you serious?”

He deserved a little teasing, after all the things he had said to you over the years. He was just as stubborn as you were, but you weren’t going to let him get away with it all without a little taunting—even if the sight of his smile directed at you made you want to forget about everything and forgive him completely. You chuckled, nodding.

“What’s she gonna do? Disown me? She’s spent her whole life keeping my birth a secret, I highly doubt she’d risk all that effort just to get me to stop talking to you. Which—and I’m just assuming, here—you’ve decided you want to do, right? Keep talking to me?”

And then Sirius did something you hadn’t seen him do more than once or twice in all the years you had known him.

He blushed.

Flushed cheeks and all, turning his face away so that you couldn’t see him. He chuckled to himself, turning back to you after a heavy sigh. He hooked an arm around your shoulders, resting his chin on top of your head.

“Yes, you dickhead. Of course I do,” he said, his voice muffled into your hair.

You smiled to yourself. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t help but turn around in his hold and wrap your arms around his waist. You really couldn’t help it.

Sirius was all consuming.

Once you got stuck on him, it was practically impossible to shake him off. He was like the ivy that grew along the patch of walls in the far corner of his backyard. You could hide in him forever. He could keep you completely safe and away—at least that’s what it used to feel like.

And, Merlin, you wanted it to feel like that again.

“Good,” you smiled into his chest, pulling away to look up at him. “So, when can I expect you on your hands and knees begging for my forgiveness?”

“Piss off.”

—

A/N - Hi! I’m so sorry this took so long, once I started writing I just kept going and it got a little out of hand. This is kinda long, so hopefully that makes up for the obscene amount of time it took me to post this. I hope this is what you were looking for! I really enjoyed writing this, so thank you for sending the request in :)

#harry potter #marauders #sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black angst #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black imagine #the marauders #marauders x you #taylor swift #ivy

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voidpacifist · 9 days

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potter-verse headcanons that I choose to view as canon bc fuck jkr <3

*I redid these bc james' lineage was pointed out to me in a previous comment and I don't wanna disregard it so I tweaked a few things to keep it true to the lore while also spiting the terf

this will be very long btw

starting with the marauders era (sorry this is basically an essay now)

adding onto that, I just would love to see his inner conflicts and hopes and ambitions and dialogue more flushed out, because I really don't think him being rejected by an old flame is at all cause enough for him to suddenly just hate children. even his rivalry and bullying with/from james doesn't feel like the push that comes to shove idk

severus snape is not an abusive man. in my opinion, the way that he's written makes him seem like a very cause to effect character without much complexity to him other than that he was in love with lily evans. in my mind, he's lily's closest friend and defender for most of their growing up together at hogwarts, especially after he begins unlearning blood purist ideologies. he tries to protect her from james potter, who's antagonistic of blood purists by nature, and also a massive troublemaker. thinking it will get lily hurt is what ultimately fuels his hatred of james (that and the fact that james is just kind of a dick to him the whole time they're at school together)

an earlier commenter pointed out to me that james' grandfather invented fleamont's hair potion, so the inheritance of that success would make james' family quite well off. and while he grows up with a very good home life and very loving parents, I imagine james also feels quite stifled sometimes, being that he's an only child with a lot of room in his house and a lot of legacy to carry. it's not like he has a complex about it, but he's sort of a steve harrington-esque kind of character. he's not a complete asshat, but he does experience a lot of growing pains and contentions to his worldview on multiple levels when he first becomes acquainted with lily and severus, and even when he first meets the other marauders. it adds a lot more interest than just making him the charming class clown, and james being desi adds another layer of complexity to him too. (I'm quite curious about how desi metaphysics are practiced, and how that would be a shift for him going from eleven years of his own household magic to hogwarts magic)

adding onto that, it's why he and sirius become such fast friends - sirius feels estranged from his own family, and james' only family are his parents and grandparents. they're closer than sirius and his own brother are. this does certainly make things strange and angsty when regulus takes an admiration to james that sirius notices, when sirius himself is constantly being compared to his more "ideal wizard archetype" younger brother his entire life

in fact, regulus' admiration of james starts as more of a scientific sort of reverence - he wants to understand how a pure blood can be so defiant of the ideas that suggest he's more worthy of practicing wizardry, let alone a pure blood who has come from so much. he learns quite a lot about james through sirius, and when he actually meets him for the first time, he's nothing like the troublemaker prince charming that everyone expects him to be. it's the first time reg experiences real endearment to someone who isn't in his own family, and even that kind of love is conditional at best (shout-out to walburga and orion black for their a-plus parenting)

it makes it that much more painful when he sees that james, while kinder and more considerate than he seemed at first, only thinks of him as sirius'-younger-brother-who-isn't-actually-that-terrible-perhaps; when he sees that james only has room in his heart for lily evans, who by black family standards isn't worthy to have any knowledge of the magical world, let alone belong in it. and he's trying to be better and to understand, but even the kindest blood purists are still blood purists, and it will take him years after this heartbreak to rectify that mindset - even as he's defying voldemort himself

lily grows up in scotland, and while her parents love her and petunia very much, they're constantly fighting. she and tuney often spend time together, and when lily's magical talents start to emerge, she at first asks her big sister, her protector, her closest friend, to keep this secret from their parents. so imagine the heartbreak when lily's owl comes in the mail, and instead of the magical announcement being a complication for their parents, the evans' are overjoyed. imagine the betrayal that petunia feels when, after years of borderline neglect to the both of them, lily leans into the praise and attention she's now receiving. and she tries to make it up to tuney - she even grows a flower in her own hand hoping to make peace with her only real role model in life, only to have it shut down by being called a freak. things only get worse as tuney is left at home with quarreling parents while lily gets the privilege of being away from all of it. the number of letters she sends to dumbledore begging to learn magic, then simply begging to see her little sister more than just during christmas, should be enough to convince the old man to have some leniency, but dumbledore doesn't

now let's talk about peter pettigrew. we all blame him for the downfall of james and lily that kicks off the tragedy of harry's childhood, which we should. but the why of it feels important to me, so personally, this is how I see his psyche playing a role: what if he grows up in a religious household? now I know how that sounds, but hear me out. peter grows up in a religious family because his parents carry some sort of shame surrounding their magical lineage. maybe it's because their squibs, maybe it's because of other trauma from being discovered by muggles, etc. regardless, he grows up discouraged from using his magic, but instead of suppressing it and developing an obscurus, he learns how to hide it. he practices his abilities in secret, until he's a very good liar with the worst case of people pleasing. so when his owl comes with his hogwarts letter, his parents are less than happy about it. he's sent to live with his aunt when he's not at school. in the meantime, he hides as much as he can about his family from the marauders. remus has his lycanthropy to worry about, and sirius already has an even rockier home life to begin with. so it's no wonder that peter latches onto james - ironically, james becomes a secret keeper of sorts for him. but peter is never close to him the way sirius is, or even remus. he's forgotten by his friends, disregarded by his parents, and written off as soft and submissive by his other peers and even the teachers. it makes him all the more suggestible when he's sought out by voldemort, who promises him a place of belonging, which is all that he's ever wanted since he was a child. he's hidden things from the people closest to him once before, so he can do it again, right?

until of course, voldemort actually physically manipulates him with an imperius curse. and all it takes is one curse for the dark lord to convince peter that his friends can never take him back, not when he's killed and maimed and cursed and destroyed lives as much as he has. "not when you're my most trusted servant, wormtail." in short, peter pettigrew is and always will be remembered as a coward. but before he was a coward, he was in pain. and voldemort used that pain to turn him against his only friends before his only friends could turn on him

speaking of other death eaters, let's talk about regulus again for a moment. in an audience-sparing plot, regulus lives. in an angst driven plot, regulus drowns. so for the sake of compromising realism for emotional lenience, let's say nobody actually knows what happens to him. there's all kinds of rumors about the missing black brother, but the truth is that regulus doesn't drown. he's badly hurt in his attempt to destroy the locket, because not only is that thing messing with him psychologically, it's also a pain in the ass to try and get rid of. brutally injured and looking for a place to hide, he enchants a supply cabinet in a muggle cafe to expand into his own flat, which looks to non-magic users like any old closet, even if they try to open it. kreacher is left the locket along with regulus' note, because he doesn't want to be found (great opportunity for him to make a sneaky little appearance in the first half of the deathly hallows though, when the golden trio are debriefing in a muggle cafe...)

remus grows up in a really good home, but like james, he feels a sort of isolation. not because of his class status but because of his condition. as his body begins to mature in his teenage years, his lycanthropy also "matures," taking a bigger and bigger toll on his body until by the time his third year starts at hogwarts (between growth spurts and growing pains and the intensity of his transitions), he can't walk without using a cane. he's pretty sickly as a child anyway to begin with, so more often than not, he spends a lot of time in his bed in the gryffindor common room. this means when a lot of the pranking and troublemaking is happening, he's either in the background unable to do much more than try and dissuade his friends, or he isn't there at all. it isn't until a little way into his fourth year that he begins actively participating in marauders shenanigans, including helping with the construction of the map. I imagine he and sirius both have feelings for one another during this time, but these feelings cannot or do not go acknowledged until the later years (like, year six or seven)

when it comes time to meet sirius' family, sirius has already been disowned by his birth parents and is extremely distant from his brother and cousins. all of course, except for his cousin andromeda, who reaches out to him after the news of his erasure from the family tree makes it to her. this is actually how remus meets tonks in my mind - because during the whole "meet the parents" thing, he meets ted, his wife, and their daughter nymphadora

that's all I've got for now from the marauders era but the golden trio era is a whole different ballgame (and probably way longer sorry in advance)

let's start with harry. petunia is not near as strict with him as vernon is, but they're both abusive to him in ways that are physical and psychological. dudley, of course, is given everything by his parents to the point of spoiling, while harry is forced to feed off of the leftovers. and while he definitely inherits his father's "fuck around and find out" personality, he's a lot less likely to fuck around with the dursleys. in fact, he's much more quiet until he gets to hogwarts and blossoms. I also think his scar is much more noticeable and does much more alteration to his face. because it's the aftermath of the killing curse, it makes him much more likely to die just from a physical standpoint than from simply a plot device standpoint. voldemort is obsessed with killing him, and incidentally, he's a very easy person to kill

however, this doesn't make harry a weak wizard by any means. his magic is incredibly powerful and he's incredibly cunning with it. it's why the hat finds it equally appropriate to sort him into slytherin, other than the obvious connection that he and voldemort share. but this does mean that other people's perceptions of him are that he is weaker. draco thinks he can easily manipulate him. ron underestimates his understanding of the wizarding world and how to defend himself. hermione even has her moments, though hers are more a concern for his well-being as a target of all sorts of evil wizardry. even still, it's a shock and a half to go from being consistently neglected and abused to being coddled and handled with kid gloves all the time. it's no wonder his "fuck around and find out" attitude we see in the books and films also comes to life due to the way he's being mistreated - whether that's with good or ill intent

ron is not only his first friend, but also the first person harry is formally introduced to. he's harry's gateway to what the wizarding world looks like outside of school. of course, molly weasley immediately decides this makes harry her son as well as ron, and it's nice for ron to have a brother his own age. but as the youngest son in a family of seven kids, with one of the honorary offspring being famous in the wizarding world, it's easy for him to get swept up in the idea that he's the afterthought of his friends and family. as a result, he tries emulating harry's attitude towards the world, but whereas harry's is built up by his upbringing and those around him, ron's is built up out of spite. it creates resentment when they're horcrux hunting together, because ron not only hates that harry is refusing to be taken care of - he also hates that nobody's taking care of him

it's why I think he and luna lovegood make an excellent pair. luna is an uncommonly kind person by nature, and we already know in the books that she takes a shine to ron. I wish we'd seen more of them in canon, so it's my personal philosophy that they should have been together instead of ron and hermione. luna really softens the resentment in ron, because she takes so much in stride that it sort of rubs off on him. and ron brings out something very protective and fiery in her. if she weren't a ravenclaw, she'd make an excellent gryffindor, though honestly she's such a multitudinous character already that she'd do swimmingly in almost any house, in my opinion

more on luna: she and hermione were actually quite close as first years, but grew apart because while luna was accepted for her neurodivergence, hermione was singled out. there's not much difference between the two of them other than the two factors that luna doesn't mask her traits, and is a pureblood. at the time that they're both eleven, I imagine eleven-year-old blood purist logic would muddy a friendship rather quickly, especially when you're trying to seek acceptance from your peers. this isn't to say that luna is a cruel person by any means - it's just that hermione has to work harder for her fitting-in-ness. naturally, being in different houses and different circles of peers along with all the other factors, they grow apart. four years after they've met, luna is simply "looney lovegood" to hermione

hermione's parents are very eager muggles to integrate hermione into the wizarding world. the two of them meet in college, when both take an interest in metaphysical studies and the history of witches and witchcraft. though it starts as a scientific fascination, hermione's father turns out to be a rather superstitious man in the first place. when their daughter receives her owl, both of them are overjoyed at the possibility of there being a world where their fascination with magic and the occult is real. the only reason they both go into dentistry (and together at the same office, no less) is because they're ridiculously in love with one another and want hermione to have a stable childhood

snape ends up being a very protective teacher over harry. the reason he hides it is because he knows dumbledore is on the hunt for power and control, however much the man tries to disguise it as working for the greater good. the headmaster simply believes harry is the perfect conduit to attain those things, and rather than view him as a threat, dumbledore views him as a tool. snape is desperate not to see harry become a pawn, the way he did, but he also sees so much of james in him that it's hard for him to reconcile any outward respect for him. this makes snape a very cold man for harry to cross (and he's already cold enough for several other reasons), but in my personal opinion, it does his character a disservice to make him outright abusive. he's dismissive and intense and extremely aloof, but never does he use it to punish harry himself. snape's only seen as a shifty, mean person by harry because of how similar he is to petunia and her dismissal of harry at home so by god do those trust issues jump out between these two. it's by no means a father + son dynamic, but it's certainly a begrudging guardian + clueless guardee dynamic, if that makes sense

in fact, when snape realizes draco is also dealing with abuse in the home, he makes it a goal of his to do what he can to make sure their time in his class is as easy as possible. of course, true to severus snape fashion, he does this in such a way that it seems like he's going to single them out when in reality, he's only breeding an environment where draco and harry start having a tentative, mutual respect for one another. this is at first very confusing for hermione and ron, as well as draco's circle of friends. but these two are nothing if not stubborn, which means cycle breaking is what they're destined for

this paves the way for draco and hermione to be in each other's circles. mutually indifferent to one another at best. detestable to one another at worst. very much enemies to lovers, until hermione bests draco in a dueling practice and draco gains some respect for her. he learns that she is a very well schooled person when it comes to traditional witch traditions and rituals; that she recognizes the holidays that christmas and halloween are bastardizations of; that she does in fact "respect her betters," because she respects her magic as the sacred gift that it is. at that point, does it become allies to lovers. and when the second wizarding war rolls around, he does everything he can within his power to play the roll of double agent. snape becomes his mentor in that regard in more ways than one (he has to kill dumbledore and he has to outsmart voldemort, homeboy is stressing)

hey speaking of pairings, the only original pairing that I tend to keep the same within the golden trio is ginny and harry. it is the sole good pairing that jkr brought to the table. I still have a few notes on it — I just wish there was more development with them. I wish there was more canonical tension than "brother's famous best friend," because while ginny is a wonderful character on her own, she doesn't seem the type to be besotted by someone because of their fame. in fact, an enemies to lovers hinny would almost make more sense to me. they're both incredibly stubborn, it's a wonder they don't butt heads more during canon events, with the fact in mind that ginny is quite soft spoken around him. she's very do-no-harm-take-no-shit, and I wish we saw more of that in their interactions. in my head, their pipeline is as follows: younger sister figure -> academic rival/enemy -> allies during the order era -> confidants -> lovers. if this makes sense. I know it's similar to the canon pipeline for them but please I need tension I need depth I need conflict

I also have got to talk about cho because first of all, what the fuck kind of name is "cho chang" for the only visibly asian character in a franchise? said it once and I'll say it again: fuck jkr. she didn't put thought or depth into this character even one bit other than making her ditsy and boy-obsessed and I hate that shit! with all my heart! in fact, all of the POC women in this series she writes specifically to be obsessed with harry, and that makes my blood absolutely evaporate because they could be so much more than one dimensional figures. I digress

as I see it, "cho chang" isn't her real name at all. it's chao-xing zhang, and the first name means morning star. she hails from a family where her father is chinese and her mother is irish. if I had to give her a middle name, it would be siobhan. she grows up with strong roots in both her irish and chinese heritage, and she's the pride of her family, since she's the only child her parents are able to have. when she arrives at hogwarts, she is quite shy and reserved. but she's brilliant, so of course she's in ravenclaw. but it's in an atypical sense that she is brilliant, not in the I-come-fom-an-asian-family-so-I'm-clever kind of way (I think giving her the gift of clairvoyance would add a really good layer to her arc). she tries to fight off visions of harry potter dying, but she cannot shake them, so instead she vows to fight with him, especially after voldemort kills the first person to show her love and affection for who she is, not for the "cho chang" that her peers think she is. it's only natural for her to take a shine to harry when he's the one who saw cedric diggory murdered

while we're on the topic of horseshit naming, parvati and padma aren't called parvati and padma in my personal mindscape of the potter-verse. they're instead named drisana and salena, meaning "daughter of the sun" and "moon" respectively. not only are they fraternal twins, they also have entirely separate personalities and magical gifts. they're as different as the sun and moon are different, but they also both reflect each other's gifts quite well, just like how the full moon is an expression of both itself and the light of the sun. of course they're both enamored by the boy who lived and his best mate, and of course they say yes to them when they need dates for the yule ball. but to say either of them are actually in love with or interested in either of the boys isn't true by a long shot - salena much prefers her own company and drisana has been eyeing the pretty ravenclaw, chao-xing, for as long as she can remember (I also think they would take harry under their wing and help him reconnect with his desi culture because I can't imagine being raised by the dursleys gave him too much opportunity for that tbh)

now onto more world-buildy types of things

in fact, I'd say the only stereotypical twins at hogwarts are fred and george, and even then they only play into it for the bit. they think it's wildly funny to confuse anyone who doesn't know them well enough to tell them apart, which is a very small number of people (I mean come on, even their own mother doesn't always manage to tell them apart). one of them is probably just a little bit fruity, and the other one is either none the wiser or not the least bit surprised. they pretend like they're carefree people, but they both feel the pull of the war on their morale, even before the war truly sets in motion with the death of dumbledore. they don't have any older sibling figures present as far as we read until bill becomes part of the plot, but I like to think he and charlie are the ones they go to when they're needing someone to talk to about the state of the world. even then, they have to be careful about it in their correspondences.

and while I like to think that molly and arthur are all very present in the lives of their children, I also believe that arthur's work in the ministry keeps him quite busy, and molly can't always be there for each individual child without totally burning herself out. long story short, the weasleys are there for one another as much as they can be, but mainly as a whole. and of course, every weasley brother would level london for ginny if the need arose for it, since she gets little sister treatment (as she should, we love her for it)

it is in my humble opinion that each house has some elemental magic attached to it. some of these are more obvious, for instance, gryffindor would likely have many ties to fire magic, whereas with hufflepuff's patron being the badger, they'd have many ties to earth magic. ravenclaw and slytherin were a little bit harder for me to parse out, but a raven for me would signify air/weather magic while a reptilian, cold blooded patron would be symbolic to water. and while of course, any magical student can have a proclivity for any element of the four, many gryffindors will have a higher aptitude for fire magic. it's why (in my opinion) seamus finnegan is so talented with pyrotechnics in the first place - it's no accident that gryffindor is where he was sorted with that level of fire magic

so then, liv, how does that explain dumbledore's weird water orb and voldemort's fire serpent featured in the order of the phoenix film? actually that's a quite easy answer - remember how I said not every gryffindor has fire magic tendencies? this is actually referenced with neville longbottom's talent for herbology. if anything, he's more inclined to work with earth magic. we don't see a lot of deviating from house elements at all in canon, but aside from the main main characters, jkr also doesn't divulge much on it to begin with. even then, neville still has the inner fire of a gryffindor. and even though voldemort's raw magic takes the form of a serpent on fire, we see his former self most comfortable with the basilisk, who lives in the dank underbelly of the hogwarts plumbing. water snakes, anybody? dumbledore's is a little trickier to explain, but I do think in his conquest to be more powerful than voldemort, he also ended up mastering all four elements. he does certainly favor fire though, considering his animal companion is a phoenix, and his raw magic is displayed with fire in the half blood prince film during the sea cave scene

beyond the elements and patrons of each house, there's also astrology, runes, divination, etc. basically magic that isn't necessarily assigned to an element, but the elements can be present in each practice. for instance, astrology is a very planetary practice, and it relies on the position of the earth itself in relation to the stars and other celestial bodies (or vice versa). the moon oversees the tides (water), the sun provides warmth (fire) as well as nurtures greenery and living things (earth). all three interacting in different manners affects the weather (air). runes can be written or carved anywhere, but are best written either with something fluid like water and inked, or etched into a solid surface such as wood or stone. divination, particularly scrying, is best done with a reflective surface, however tea reading involves some herbology when it comes to making the tea itself. I digress, the point is, different aptitudes mean some students will have a higher proclivity for one practice than another outside of their "inner element" or which element works best with them (also jkr why didn't you include something for the crystal girlies?? for the fellas who love the pretty rocks???)

onto the topic we all love (said sarcastically) the most: wizard racism. rowling really thought she could paint a complex narrative about blood purity and the differences thereof when her own writing is inherently racist? miss me with that horseshit, anyway here's my personal take on the whole blood purity smorgasbord:

the only difference between muggleborns and regular old muggles is that some have the aptitude and skill for harnessing magic, and some don't. I don't actually know the science behind it. maybe the stars aligned just right. maybe it's a distant genetic thing. regardless, muggles have a very whimsical view of magic itself. we have our holidays like christmas and halloween and easter, and our cutesy packagings of the aesthetic for each holiday. but the holidays that they originate from, such as yule and samhain, have been celebrated by pagans and witches long before this christ-ifying of them, and even longer before making them palatable to a consumer culture. meaning it is real culture that has been taken and warped and accepted by society as normal, when it doesn't credit the original practicers in the first place

and considering the salem witch trials and other witch hunts (some of which are still happening in places around the globe, mind you), it's no wonder that, taking the canon of harry potter into consideration, purebloods (in this case, those from pagan families who have kept the practices for hundreds of generations and have only married within magical bloodlines) are at least mistrusting of muggleborns. does it excuse the blatant mistreatment and alienation of muggleborn witches and wizards? absolutely not. does it at least explain the disparity? yes it does

it gives salazar slytherins perspective of only allowing purebloods into his house an entirely new layer as to why. if only he didn't go about hatching an ancient bloodthirsty beast to hunt down the muggleborn students!

it does also add a very archaic level to slytherin house culture, though - they're not only the most cunning house (and most misunderstood), they're also the most observant of traditional paganism. dumbledore is so dead set on the belief that slytherin breeds evil wizards and witches, however, that his favoritism to his patron house (which happens to have the opposite mascot and element, mind you) creates an environment where slytherins are either feared or outright disrespected by the other houses. here's a hot take: dark and light magic can exist within the same space and still not have any moral attachment to them. crazy, innit

which means that not only is dumbledore a more "accepting" headmaster of muggleborns - they too, are a means to an end in this vendetta he has against tom riddle; a vendetta he's had against a child since he realized this child (who mind you, was already isolated as an orphan and a wizard growing up surrounded by muggles) was the heir of slytherin. and while yes, this made him a threat to the safety of muggleborn students, dumbledore also ensured the creation of the thing that which he vowed to overthrow. his mission in life as a wizard with great power and responsibility was a self fulfilling prophecy

(enough said about albus dumbledore. I hate that man. no wonder jkr paints him as such a hero figure in the series though like damn)

more world building! I think it should be canon that a modified obliviate spell exists so that trans witches and wizards can erase the memory of a dead name from the minds of anyone who isn't them. use this headcanon how you must, it may be the biggest fuck you to the author I could come up with <3

phew! that was a mouthful, but on that note, those are all my thoughts/headcanons/other things that I've conjured so far. some of them may be based off of headcanons I've already seen (like, we've all basically confirmed james is desi at this point), but I did wanna drive a little deeper into those existing ones as well as add thoughts of my own. I am planning on using most if not all of these to write my own rendition of the potter-verse canon, but feel free to use any of them you see in here! I'd love to invite more dialogue, particularly about more thoughtful name changes (like seriously if y'all have anymore suggestions on that front please send them to me, I don't want to be totally ignorant or off base so any feedback is super appreciated)

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snarky-magpie · 2 months

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My Black family headcanons. Possibly unpopular again, because I draw from canon a lot—look, power to everyone who chooses to disregard completely, but it hurts my OCD brain that grew up with the books. So. Here goes.

Orion and Walburga weren't as physically and magically abusive as the fandom makes them out to be. This is a big one. Possibly my biggest disagreement with fanon. That doesn't mean they were good parents at any rate. No. Just that they weren't physically abusive. Why do I think that? First, Sirius tells Harry many awful things about his family, but he never brings up being tortured, either by regular means or by magic. He does his best to paint his family as monsters and relay the contempt and hate he holds for every member of the Black clan (with a couple of exceptions). If his parents were abusive toward him, he wouldn't have hesitated to use it as further proof of what monsters they were. Second, he was allowed to decorate his room in Gryffindor colors and generally flaunt his differences, which once again suggests that his parents couldn't have punished him too severely for minor transgressions.

Any abuse going on was more likely psychological in nature. Arguably, this causes even more damage in the long run, and unlike physical abuse, it's not always obvious at first glance, or second, or tenth, which makes it particularly tricky to approach. And it's probably also the reason why fic writers choose to depict physical or magical abuse—it's just easier to describe and effective at gaining sympathy for the characters going through it from the readers. I think Orion and Walburga had strict rules for their children (they had to behave as befitted the children of the noble house of Black), and put a lot of pressure on them. Despite not being physically abusive, they would dole out punishment without mercy when the children displeased them. Withdrawing affection, depriving them of their favorite toys or activities, subjecting them to rants about their uselessness and insults, forced isolation, and so on. They were likely rather volatile, prone to going into fits of anger for no reason apart from feeling irritated with her children (Walburga) and cold and detached (Orion). Also, last but not least, they played mind games with the children, pitting one brother against the other. Lifting Sirius up when they wanted to punish Regulus, and vice versa. Which brings me to my next point.

Sirius was the favorite son, until the Sorting at least. Yes, he himself mentioned Regulus was the favorite, "a much better son" according to his parents, but the thing with abusive parents is that they often pit one kid against the other and thrive on their misery. Handsome, brilliant, magically gifted Sirius was everything the Blacks might have wished from their heir. Until, of course, his infamous sorting into Gryffindor, where he was influenced by muggle-borns and, most notably, James Potter, the known blood traitor. From that point onward, Regulus became the preferred child, but rather out of necessity than choice. If we're to believe Harry, Regulus wasn't as handsome as Sirius (and as generally brilliant). We have no clue about his magical prowess or intelligence, although the fact he discovered the truth about Horcruxes points to him being clever. His parents visibly favoring Regulus and repeatedly telling Sirius that 'Regulus was the good son' were not necessarily what they actually thought. More likely, they were their misguided attempts at making Sirius see reason and bringing him back into the fold.

The brothers probably didn't like each other much. I know we all love fics where they love each other and have each other's back, but realistically, I don't think that was the case. Most likely, they stayed out of each other's way, which was easy since they were in different houses. It's not a stretch to assume that Sirius felt embarrassed (and possibly angry) about his Death Eater brother. Likewise, Regulus would feel mortified about a blood-traitor brother. Maybe over time, it would grow into something close to contempt, with his parents and his Death Eater pals whispering in his ear. Similarly, I don't think Sirius would blame himself for leaving Regulus behind or not helping him leave Grimmauld Place. At his core, Sirius is a character with strong morals who believes in personal accountability. So, according to him, Regulus deserved to reap the consequences of his decisions. (That's not saying he didn't mourn his brother or the potential of them mending fences in the future. Who knows, maybe he'd eventually realize neither he nor Regulus were to blame for their strained relationship and that the fault lay with their parents if he didn't die prematurely.)

Sirius would hate Jegulus (and I say this with love as a jegulus shipper). Once again, yes, I love fics where Sirius is a supportive brother and friend. I've even written a few. But in my heart of hearts, I don't think that would be Sirius' go-to reaction. Sibling dynamics can be complicated in the best of cases, with jealousy often playing a significant role. The Black Brothers are not the best of cases, and James belongs to Sirius. He is his best friend, his other half, the cornerstone of his new reality, and, in a way, his moral compass because James helped Sirius renounce his family beliefs. If James did a sudden one-eighty and started dating a person with a completely different worldview, not to mention a person close to Sirius, one belonging to the family James helped him leave, Sirius would see it as a profound betrayal of their friendship. He'd probably also feel disappointed in James and his sudden hypocrisy (because we know he loathed the Dark Arts, so for him to date a Death Eater would be out of character��which is why I love Jegulus, the inherent drama of it) and possessive over his best friend.

If you read the whole thing, I commend you :D Anyway, these are just my thoughts based on canon. Obviously, I'm aware fanfic exists for us to explore different scenarios, and they are fun to write and read. But sometimes (at least for me), it feels like it's too easy to drift too far away from what makes the characters, well, them, during these explorations.

#james potter #regulus black #sirius black #the black brothers #the blacks #the black family #orion and walburga #black brothers headcanons #marauders headcanons #jegulus #james and sirius #marauders #dead gay wizards #personal ramblings

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thebestofoneshots · 6 months

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This is so out of nowhere but do you think Sirius would want to get married and start a family? Like kids and stuff. Both as a character in canon and in GC. I’ve been thinking about it deep and hard lately. And i wanted to know what you think? cause i believe you have such good grasp on him (and other marauders era characters as well).

Oh, this is a brilliant question! At first, I wasn't sure, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense in my head, so hear me out:

I think Sirius was absolutly horrified by the idea of marriage in early teens. He was beyond scared since the marriages he was mostly exposed to when he was a child weren't born of love, but rather of political arrangements.

I think he sees marriage as an institution (he hates those) that his parents were ready to ascribe themselves –and him– to. A political ploy for power or blood purity or whatever it might be the Blacks had in their eyes at the time. Not something to aspire to, but something to repudiate (like he did with most Noble House of Black-related things).

In fact, I think part of Sirius' playboy persona was born from this, he thought relationships weren't all that, and was scared of commitment bc he thought he knew how they would end, which is why he dated around instead of devoting himself to a relationship. His behaviour was somewhat of a defence mechanism against his perceived inevitability of future failure (also it enraged Walburga and Sirius would have done anything to enrage her).

When Sirius got to live with the Potters, and the more time he spent with them (wasn't that much, unfortunately), he saw that things weren't always the same. That relationships didn't have to be toxic and they didn't have to end the way they did in the Black family.

He learned that not all relationships are about give and take, but some are just about giving and receiving, and he was fascinated by this. He finally understood why James wanted a relationship (and a marriage) with Lily.

And while this gave Sirius a new perspective on how things can be, it didn't erase the fact that he was scared of it. He was scared that he was too much of a Black and he wouldn't be able to have something like the Potters, but instead, he would inevitably end up like his parents –because it was in his blood.

I think the same applies to children, Sirius is too scared to be like his parents and fuck his children up, although I do think he likes kids since he always proved to be fond of Harry, Ron and Hermione after he met them. But especially Harry, he loved him like he had been his own kid, or I guess the same way he loved James, like family.

Having said that, and while I don't think Sirius would expect a grandiose wedding or anything of the sort, I do think, after some time and finding a partner that he loves and living with them for a while, and therefore knowing what it is to be in a relationship with them and having evidence that he wouldn't end like his parents, he could entertain the idea of marriage, and would eventually open to one (perhaps even to having children).

Same thing applies to GC Sirius, in fact, and you'll see this once the chapters have been posted, but Sirius is already entertaining an idea similar to this while watching the Potters during the Christmas break (Still a few chapters to go, though).

Read Gilded Constellations

Sidenote: This was really fun!! I love psychoanalysing characters.

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ellieclaireblack · 1 year

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sanctuaire | sanctuary

sanctuary | noun your safe and peaceful haven a comforting place of refuge and rest in a noisy, chaotic world

{brother's best friend | fem!reader x james potter} ⪼ word count: 2k ⪼ warnings: mentions of abuse

part one: back home

story: sanctuaire | sanctuary

playlist

Kreacher was calling for me. Again.

“I'm coming. I’m coming” I made my way down the stairs into the dining room of 12 Grimmauld Place.

Today was January 4th 1976. Christmas Break was over and we would head back to Hogwarts. We consisted of Regulus and me. Since Sirius ran away during the holiday. An act I still didn’t forgive him for even though I understood why he did it. From the day he’d been sorted into Gryffindor my twin had a hard life.

Walburga, Orion and Reggie were seated at the table when I joined them.

“Good morning, father, mother, brother.” I greeted them politely and sat next to Reg.

“Bonjour mon cher [Good morning my dear]” Papa greeted me in French. Walburga just looked up and nodded at me. Regulus opted for a small smile.

Out of my parents I loved my father, but Walburga was directly spit out from hell. Papa just never said anything against my mother. However she was rarely present anyway. The days she was home were horrendous.

Everyone tended to their meals and silence filled the room. That’s how it was: no talking at the table. I was glad to get back to school today.

I missed my friends and I missed Sirius - even though I was still mad at him I longed to talk to my twin. He’s always been the person who understood me best. There was a lot unresolved between us. His unannounced departure during a stormy winter night made life at home a lot harder.

Walburga blamed me that the heir of ‘The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black’ vanished and let her anger out on me. A few spells turned into dark curses and several bruises covered my skin. Papa didn’t do anything against her but I know that he sent several house elves to patch me up when she left me in my room in agony.

“Children get ready. We’ll aparate to the station in 15 minutes. Your mother won’t be joining us, so make sure to say your goodbyes.” Papa said, ripping me out of my thoughts.

In my room I stuffed the last few things in a bag. Kreacher would aparate my belongings to 9 ¾. I grabbed my Slytherin robe, the Prefect Badge glinting in the light. My parents had been pleased when I got it, except when Sirius didn’t get one the mood in our house shifted quickly. I can still hear his screams of that day faintly in my head. I shake my head, trying to rid my mind from this particular memory. One last look in the mirror and I headed downstairs again.

Papa and Reggie wait for me already and we smile at each other. The first real smile all day. We each grab an arm that Papa offers us. Everything turns black, my body tightens up and just before I think my airway caught up we are standing on Platform 9 ¾.

“I wish you a good second term, my loves. Make sure to write. I’ll miss you. Bon voyage. [safe journey]” Papa pressed a kiss to both our heads and I couldn’t resist hugging him. Though half of Hogwarts was aware of our presence he hugged me back.

“I’m so sorry for what she did to you and that I couldn’t help you more y/n. Je t’aime. [I love you]”

“Je t'aime aussi papa. Ne t'inquiète pas, ça va aller. [I love too, Papa. Don’t you worry I’ll be fine.]” All the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes were forced down. As a child I was always expected to keep my feelings inside, so that’s what my siblings and I were exceptional at.

“Watch over one another and make sure Maman doesn’t find out you’re talking to Sirius. Also tell him I’m sorry for how things went down, that I miss and love him. Go now, I’ll see you soon.”

He disapparated and Reg squeezed my hand. We made our way to the Hogwarts Express and parted ways, both of us in search of our friends.

“y/n/n!” I hear a shout. Turning around I spot my best friend. Florence Clarisse Rosier - older sister of Evan Rosier and my roommate. She’s running towards me and tackles me into a hug. I suppress a wince, when she squeezes against my bruises. “We’ve already secured a compartment, come on.”

With ‘we’ she was talking about Adam Cygnus Travers and Theodore Lewis Nott. The two boys completed our friend group and we were known as the ‘Slytherin Royals’. All four of us descended from families of the Sacred 28 and had quite the reputation.

I greeted the boys with a hug and we talked about our holiday. I swiftly left out the subject of Sirius, but they knew. Walburga officially declared Regulus as the new heir of the House of Black, every Sacred 28 family knew what happened with Sirius. I saw their worried faces and uncertain looks, the eye-contact between them. No one dared to touch the subject.

I was relieved to to go to the Prefect meeting, so I could escape the unease. On my way there I passed a compartment Remus Lupin was currently exiting. Quickly glancing inside I spotted my twin, James and Peter. Sirius and I held eye contact for a split second before I turned my head away. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. My heart clenched. I really missed Sirius, he was my other half. We've never gone so long without talking.

“Oh hey y/n.” Remus greeted me only noticing now that I stood next to him.

“Hey Rem. How was your holiday?” We continued to talk while heading to the front of the train. Remus avoided the subject Sirius and I was thankful for it.

At the meeting we got handed our new patrol rounds. I was paired up with Remus or Lucinda - Lucy - Greengrass, which I was quite content with. Lucy was pretty nice. I wouldn’t call us friends, but conversation between us flew easily.

Later back in our compartment I put my feet in Theo’s lap and he absentmindedly began to massage them, while I read a book. My grades were extremely important to me, even more to my mother. So I wanted to get a head start on this semester's material.

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When we arrived at the Great Hall - everyone was exhausted from the long journey. We were happy when Dumbledore held his speech and the food finally appeared.

During Dinner I felt several pairs of eyes on me. I knew it was the Marauders. I didn’t meet their eyes. The Great Hall was definitely the wrong place for the conversation me and Sirius had to hold. For now I was still too angry at him to have a level headed talk with him.

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After dinner my friends and I spent the evening on our couch in the common room. We’ve claimed that couch as ours and no one dares to sit on it, except when they’re invited to do so. Our evening was spent talking some more and when all of us got tired we made our way upstairs, wishing the boys a good night.

Unlike the Gryffindors, Slytherins had to share their space only with one other person. The shared space is only a bathroom and a small lounge room. Everyone has their own bedroom. In my case my dorm mate is Flo. She’s been my best friend since day one. With her lively nature, she draws the attention of an entire room to her. She’s the kind of girl who’s friends with everybody.

In first year she would drag me into her world. I always loved the attention, just like Sirius. It was something we rarely experienced as something positive and at Hogwarts everyone seemed to like us. Naturally. We were somewhat celebrities in the Wizarding world.

Before going to sleep I put a silencing charm around my room. I had always had quite the share of nightmares, Sirius used to call them night terrors, that’s how bad they were. Since he was gone there wasn’t a single night where I wasn’t plagued by a nightmare.

──────────────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ──────────────────

A scream tore through the dark. My own. My skin was covered in sweat and I suppressed a shiver.

Only one thing helped me get back to sleep after a nightmare. My brothers. I couldn’t go to Reggie though, he had been through enough during the holiday and it hurt me to see him suffer because of me. So Sirius it was, I knew he wouldn’t question it even though we weren’t talking currently.

As quiet as possible I made my way to the common room. Empty.

I wasn’t really scared that a teacher would catch me in the corridor. Us Slytherins - especially the children of the Sacred 28 - had Professor Slughorn wrapped around our finger, so I wouldn’t even face consequences.

As a Prefect I knew all the Passwords of the different houses so getting inside the Gryffindor common room was dead easy. The common room was empty as well and I tiptoed up the stairs.

The door to the boys’ dorm slightly creaked slightly when I opened it. "Sirius, Sirius!" I whisper yelled into the dark and quiet room. But no response from my twin-brother. A sigh escaped me and I was just about to go back to my dorm when I heard a whisper.

"y/n, is that you? Are you alright?" It was James. "Yeah, no I-I'm fine." Obviously my best friend sensed the lie and ushered me to come over to him. I sat down on his bed and before I could protest he pulled me next to him.

The moonlight that shone in the room made it possible for me to see his features. That meant he could also see my face and the shed tears on my cheeks.

"What's wrong y/n/n?" "I’m fine. It was nothing, just a nightmare, it's fine. I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to Sirius."

"Sounds like you’re fine. Hey, you don't have to lie to me. I know how bad your night terrors are and it's rare you seek Pads' help in the middle of the night. So it must've been really bad."

I mumbled "okay you're right" in response. James put his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. Feeling his body heat seep into me I felt like I could finally breathe again and let out a shaky breath. James put a silencing spell around the bed so we wouldn't wake the others.

"What's going on? Why are you avoiding us? Did something happen?"

Tears were threatening to spill again. "It's my mother. J she's never been this bad or this angry. They told us it would have consequences if I spent time with you guys."

"Oh y/n, you should've gone with Sirius when he came to me, I was really worried about you the whole holiday. I didn't hear a word from you."

“I just couldn’t leave Reggie alone. Also I don't want to leave Papa, would be so lonely without us. Besides, Sirius didn’t even tell me he was leaving. One morning he was gone and I had to face Walburgas anger. I get why he left. Still we’re his siblings for Merlin's sake. He could've at least said something.”

Now I was really crying. James wrapped his arms even tighter around me. "I’m so sorry. I didn't know it was that bad or I would've gotten you out of there myself. You and Pads definitely need to talk tomorrow."

We talked for a little while, when I noticed James started to get really tired. His eyes fell shut every other second and he was trying hard to keep awake.

"Mind if I stay the night Jamie?" "Of course not, sleep tight, love." "Good night James." I whispered but didn’t get an answer. James had already fallen asleep and in the comfort of his arms I was finally able to go to sleep too.

author's note: so first chapter of my new story. thanks for reading this far! i'm not 100% sure how to feel about this for now. there's definitely going to be more james later, but i needed this as an entry point for the story so you have some background information. also i just wanted to put out there that english isn't my first language. i proof read the chapter, but if you spot any mistake don't fret to tell me i love you guys and wish you a gread day/afternoon/night where ever you are ♡︎

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enbysiriusblack · 1 year

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the black cousins

regulus & sirius

brothers/cousins- they were extremely close as kids since they never really had any other friends to play with. but as sirius got sorted into gryffindor and made friends, and regulus getting sorted into slytherin the year after, they drifted apart. sirius not being able to separate regulus to their parents, and regulus being jealous of sirius' freedom and happiness.

regulus & narcissa

cousins- both being the youngest and deemed 'the golden child', narcissa protects and helps regulus handle issues and stay in good favour with everyone. narcissa being the only slytherin student he already knew well, she guided him in school to help him remain in good standing with the other slytherins but not getting involved in their harmful actions.

regulus & andromeda

cousins- regulus was always jealous of how much closer sirius was to her, how they kept secrets just between the two of them, how they'd sneak out together during parties and never invited him along. andromeda did try to influence regulus, getting him to understand the family's prejudice, but when she left, she cut all ties.

regulus & bellatrix

cousins- bellatrix tended to prefer talking to her sisters walburga when at grimmauld place, rather than sirius and regulus. so the two weren't really close. until bellatrix had joined the death eaters, and regulus was being urged to join as well. bellatrix was extremely keen for regulus to join. once sirius was disowned, she would stay during holidays, her behaviour and body language being so similar to sirius' was soothing at the time, and regulus listened to what she had to say.

sirius & narcissa

cousins- the two are complete opposites. where sirius is loud and defiant, narcissa is quiet and dutiful. narcissa sees sirius as a naive kid ruining their life, and sirius sees narcissa as a meek, vain, and self-absorbed. the two never got on, only connecting through alice fortescue.

sirius & andromeda

cousins- andromeda was like a guidance figure to sirius, teaching them how to escape, how to hide things, etc. she always tried to influence sirius in a good way, showing them their family's prejudice. the two being the only ones disowned, kept in contact. andromeda never fully believed sirius was a death eater.

sirius & bellatrix

cousins- so similar to each other, the exact same personality and impulses but ruled by complete opposite motivations. both being the eldest sibling, they take on a lot of their parents expectations and brute of their anger. but both of them hate themselves deeply, thinking they're too impulsive, angry, and a disappointment, that they can't help but despise the other for all the traits they share.

narcissa & andromeda

sisters- they were extremely close as children, as were bellatrix. but as they got older, andromeda grew more independent and outspoken and narcissa, seeing the aftermath of that rebellion, grew quieter and more compliant. after andromeda left, she cut all ties to her. but after the war, she extended a hand to narcissa and the two became close again.

narcissa & bellatrix

sisters- both felt like they had to protect the other, especially more after andromeda left. narcissa married lucius and gave up her quidditch dreams in order to stay with bellatrix, and bellatrix got narcissa out of having to take the dark mark and become a death eater. looked after each other their entire lives, to the point they made themselves miserable and crazy in attempts to be there and protect one another.

andromeda & bellatrix

sisters- although close as children, the two fought often, over toys, books, and the piano in the lounge. and as they grew older, the fighting got louder and more intense to the point the two, although loving each other, never confided anything in each other, instead telling everything to narcissa who never said a word. when andromeda left, bellatrix was the one who burned her off the tapestry.

#THEM. THEY ARE SO. INTERESTING. FASCINATING.#i want to look at them under a microscope #marauders era #marauders #andromeda black #narcissa black #sirius black #regulus black #bellatrix black #andromeda tonks #narcissa malfoy #bellatrix lestrange #the black family #the black cousins #the black brothers #the black sisters

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saintsenara · 3 months

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🖤, 🤍 and 💀, please!

thank you very much for the asks, anons plus @poetryandbloods-blog!

which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

i mean, given the level of reading comprehension in this fandom, pretty much all of them... with snape and dumbledore at the top of the pile.

but i'm going to go for a female character, for fun and profit, and say... petunia dursley.

petunia is - like vernon - primarily a children's literature archetype - the wicked stepmother/aunt/guardian who is constantly trying to assert authority over the child-hero, with very little success. she has to be pretty one-note - shrill and cruel and demonstrably non-maternal [and performatively womanly because she's innately unfeminine] - because it's what the narrative conventions which govern her demand.

but, nonetheless, when we look at her without the restrictions of these genre conventions, there's a lot about petunia which can be used to contextualise her actions in the series with rather more nuance than they're often afforded.

when petunia is - at most - twenty-four, she has no parents, her sister is dead, she's at home all day with one toddler [and she appears to have no other social support when it comes to caring for dudley], and she's just had another toddler dumped upon her in incredibly traumatic circumstances.

vernon appears to be considerably older than her - him complaining in the very first chapter of philosopher's stone about how "young people" dress doesn't make sense if he's in his twenties as well, and i tend to imagine that he's at least fifteen [if not twenty] years older than his wife, meaning that, since they apparently married before lily and james, petunia was twenty-two at most when they tied the knot and vernon was anywhere between thirty-seven and forty-two. vernon is also from a higher social class than she is - and so much about her canon behaviour can be explained by recognising how nervous she is about not disappointing him by revealing to their neighbours that her class-performance is a pretence, rather than something she was born into.

this isn't to deny her agency in her decisions - she is, of course, also confined in a prison which is directly of her own making [the bland domesticity of her perfect little house, all of which is an artifice constructed so she doesn’t have to admit how deeply she once longed to be magic] - and nor is it to deny that her treatment of harry is wrong.

but it's important to note that nothing is completely black-and-white. petunia's cruelty is intertwined with an obvious loneliness - which is only compounded by the twin societal monsters of class and gender conventions.

and she makes a great subject for a nuanced character study, and i'd love to see more!

which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

hagrid, who is a death eater.

if you had to choose one major character to die, who would you pick?

answered here.

what is a popular [serious] theory you disagree with?

"black family madness".

while many mental illnesses - and the personality traits which can be contributing factors to them - run in families, and while i'm interested in the idea that sirius' depression when he's trapped in grimmauld place mirrors walburga's own after he leaves home in a way which can be thought of as inherited, i really dislike the idea that there's some sort of inherent madness running through the black family like a generational curse.

this fanon attributes anything bad done by a member of the family - especially a female one - to madness. which is obviously an inaccurate and stigmatising approach to mental illness - but which i also think is also a very dull way of examining the cyclical, generational thread of prejudice and restriction which runs through the blacks in canon.

#asks answered #unpopular opinions ask game #petunia dursley

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midnightstargazer · 5 months

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Why did Regulus join the Death Eaters?

Note: Regulus is my problematic fave, and I love him. I'm starting with the assumption that he did genuinely support the Death Eaters at first, and was not forced to join. However, I'm also assuming he was a bit more complex than the average Death Eater and had some positive qualities, based on the ways Sirius and Kreacher describe him and the circumstances of his death.

under the cut because it's pretty long

Reasons I don't think fit:

Aside from what I've already mentioned, there are a few other potential motives, seen in other Death Eaters, that I don't think fit Regulus at all:

He was willing to turn against Voldemort, so I don't think he had the sort of deep personal loyalty to him that Bellatrix and Barty Jr. had.

He doesn't come across as especially bloodthirsty or prone to cruelty; Sirius and Kreacher's descriptions both suggest quite the opposite. I'm sure he did unpleasant things as a Death Eater and probably rationalized them as being necessary, but I doubt he joined mainly for an excuse to torture and kill people.

Even beyond not being forced to join, I find it hard to believe that he would have joined out of fear, or out of a pragmatic "he's going to win and I want to be on the winning side" sort of sentiment. I mean, come on, he literally chose to die a horrible death rather than keep working for Voldemort once he had turned against him. He was many things, but not a coward.

With that being said, there are three main factors that I think led him to join the Death Eaters:

Accepting his parents' ideology without question

This is literally the first thing we're told about Regulus. When Sirius mentions him to Harry, here's what he says:

"Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal... my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them..." (OotP, ch. 6)

This is repeated again in Kreacher's description of him:

"Master Sirius ran away, good riddance, for he was a bad boy and broke my Mistress's heart with his lawless ways. But Master Regulus had proper pride; he knew what was due to the name of Black and the dignity of his pure blood." (DH, ch. 10)

In both cases, the two brothers are contrasted, and Regulus's conformity is mentioned in the context of Sirius's rebellion. Orion and Walburga were not Death Eaters, but their views aligned with the Death Eaters' goals, even if they didn't personally get involved in the war. So, by embracing his parents' ideology, Regulus ends up (mostly*) agreeing with the Death Eaters, and by rejecting it, Sirius ends up opposing them.

*I say mostly because, I don't know where Regulus got the idea that Voldemort was going to "bring the wizards out of hiding to rule the Muggles and the Muggle-borns" (DH, ch. 10), but that's not standard Death Eater ideology. The Statute of Secrecy is not something they actually talk about much. Regulus's long-term goals would've probably made him better suited to be a follower of Grindelwald.

An "ends justifies the means" mindset

I said before that I didn't think he was a cruel or bloodthirsty person. This comes mainly from Sirius, who describes him as an "idiot" who "got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out" (OotP, ch. 6). Of course, he doesn't know the whole story, but he does know what sort of person his brother was. They grew up together. Sirius thinks he would've been hesitant about the Death Eaters' more extreme actions, and I see no reason not to take his word for it.

There's also the potion. It's hard to imagine the average Death Eater drinking it themselves, given the option to have a house-elf do it instead. Or an Imperiused Muggle, for that matter. Regulus either didn't consider those options or decided against them.

On the other hand, he knew the Death Eaters were violent terrorists when he joined them. His collage of newspaper clippings showed what sort of things they were doing. It couldn't have come as a surprise; it must have been something he was willing to accept.

So I don't think he enjoyed the Death Eaters' methods, but what I do think, is that he was able to excuse and justify them to himself. Including the stuff he participated in. He believed in their ideology, he thought they were going to change the world for the better, and he was okay with using violence to get there.

Personal ambition/desire to prove himself

When Dumbledore talks about Tom Riddle's school friends who became the first Death Eaters, he describes some of them as "the ambitious seeking some shared glory" (HBP, ch. 17) - this is the same sort of mindset that I think made the Death Eaters so appealing to Regulus.

He was in Slytherin, and I don't think that was a mistake. As courageous and self-sacrificing as his death was, it also shows great cunning and ambition. When he realized he was no longer willing to serve Voldemort, he planned out carefully when and how he was going to defy him to cause the most damage possible. If a few things had gone differently - if Kreacher had been able to destroy the locket and it had been the only Horcrux - then his actions could have made a huge impact on the war. And clearly, he wanted to be remembered, or he wouldn't have left a note.

As a younger sibling, Regulus was likely overshadowed by Sirius during their pre-Hogwarts childhood, and when he became the favorite, it was because Sirius had become too defiant and rebellious. He would likely have felt that he had something to prove, as the spare-turned-heir and the brother of a blood traitor.

He's also compared to Percy, who - despite being a Gryffindor - is one of the most ambitious characters in the series. Specifically, the note that he put on his door is described as something Percy might have done. I think this suggests that Regulus's relationship to Sirius was a bit like Percy's to the Weasleys: not completely devoid of affection, but something he would set aside in favor of his own self-interest and ambition. (of course, Percy eventually reconciles with his siblings, which has interesting implications for AUs where Regulus survives his betrayal of Voldemort, but that's another topic)

I imagine Regulus being desperate to prove himself, to live up to his family's expectations and even achieve more than they thought possible. And I think the Death Eaters in his life (Bellatrix, Lucius, possibly his school friends) could easily have used that desire to persuade him into joining.

tl;dr

He did it voluntarily, and not out of fear or pragmatism.

It also seems unlikely that he felt a strong personal loyalty to Voldemort.

He was taught a similar ideology at home and accepted it without question, while Sirius rejected it - leading them to end up on opposite sides of the war

I don't think he was necessarily thrilled with the Death Eaters' methods, but he was aware of them before joining and was willing to accept them, most likely with an "ends justifies the means" mindset

There are hints in canon that he was ambitious, and he likely felt he had something to prove after Sirius ran away and became a blood traitor.

Just my interpretation, but hopefully it makes sense.

#Regulus Black #regulus black meta #Death Eaters #Harry Potter #Marauders Era

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izzythehutt · 6 months

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if you were to tie faith into 'black mask', where do you think each character would regard their own faith? I'm asking for the sirius, regulus and the parents, maybe Colette too or someone else if you've thought about it? also, a chapter from the new testament you've reread the most? wishing you a good lenten season!

This has been lurking for a bit but since I got into a whole "religion in the Harry Potter universe" conversation I figured I'd answer it.

So, in my universe as opposed to the canon Harry Potter universe, I'm drawing on my own family—the Blacks are recusant English Catholic landed gentry. I think it honestly fits the whole "there are only 28 acceptable families" inbred pureblood vibe since that's basically the upper class English Catholic families, everybody is related. I feel like in canon HP universe if they are in an actual denomination they'd be Anglican, since they're so "establishment", but then again the Norfolks irl are Catholic so who knows?

As much as I have been accused of Black family apologism, even I cannot in good conscience describe anyone in this family having a healthy relationship with their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but were they religious this is sort of how it would shake down:

Orion is a classic trad with all the attendant dysfunction therein. Extremely legalistic, he's very comforted by a the sense of order, regulations, hierarchical structure and tradition that the Church provides. Probably reads Thomistic theology in his room for fun and would never miss a Holy Day of Obligation. Does not have a good grasp on how to love, show mercy to his children for their failings or give a good example of the relational aspect of their faith. When the shit inevitably hits the fan he's left wondering why following the rules didn't make everything turn out right. I kind of feel like I did give him a moral arc in BM in the sense that he really had to grapple with his own failure and let go of the idea that he can control everything.

Walburga I see as having a pretty childish and shallow understanding of God/religious faith. Faith is more tied to family tradition than personal piety and is practiced out of habit/duty more than out of genuine interest. She is not an imaginative person, she's the kind of person who thinks if they follow the letter of the law and pray they should get exactly what they want. Zero understanding of theology of suffering as a form of sanctification.

Sirius is projecting his daddy issues onto God and struggles to see his own lovability outside of the conditions set by his parents. Will do the opposite of his family just to rebel—I could see him getting into the cozy provincial Anglicanism of the Potters when he moves into them. He's the kind who would start going to church all the time if his parents were secular atheists just to piss them off. His arc is about seeing that God loves him in a perfect way and that helping him forgive his parents for their extremely damaged and wounded way of showing they love him.

Regulus is classic Elder Brother in the Prodigal Son. Has some resentment about doing things right and not getting anything in return. I kind of feel like he's the only one who actually has a prayer life or thinks very deeply about metaphysical questions, but that he also has massive cognitive dissonance with all the religious hypocrisy in the family which makes him question the whole thing.

Bonus: Colette actually has sincere piety and an imaginative soul and would maybe get Sirius rebelling from his family and not really practicing back into going to mass, etc.

#the black sheep dog #sirius black #orion black #walburga black #regulus black #colette battancourt #asks #harry potter and religion

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ghostly-runes · 21 days

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Deaf/Hard of hearing Black family (And a bit of the Tonks/Rosier/Malfoy/Lupin/Riddle family (Pretty much everyone in the family tree I could think of))

Note: I am not deaf but I am disabled so I am somewhat pulling from my experiences so, if I get anything wrong or am insensitive in anyway please please let me know

- Sirius was born hard of hearing but never got the support he needed in childhood

- He didn’t know and wasn’t taught sign language until he was older and could learn it by himself

- Regulus and Andromeda were the only ones to learn BSL (British sign language) with him (More so Reg than Andy because he lived with Sirius)

- Deafness runs in the Black family but most of them learn to live with it so they don’t seem “crippled” (Narcissa and Orion are the only ones that aren’t hard of hearing or deaf in the family)

- Regulus grew up hearing but midway though his years at hogwarts he started losing his hearing (Pandora pointed it out)

- This is one of the few times during their years at Hogwarts and after Sirius runs away, that Regulus comes to Sirius because “How can he be the perfect heir if he’s ‘defected’. ”

- They had a long conversation about how that didn’t determine his worth and he wasn’t ‘defected’ or anything of that sort

- In a They all live!AU Regulus would have been completely deaf by 30

- Luckily though, at the age of 15 Regulus has a close knit friend group and they’re all willing to learn sign language for him (He sucks at lip reading)

- Sirius also has incredibly close friend group and they all start to learn sign language for Sirius, even if it’s just common signs

- Sirius actually doesn’t tell his friends that he’s hard of hearing, James just picks it up 2nd yr and when asked Sirius tries to deny it but he sucks at lying to James

- After a bit they tell Peter and then Remus

- After Remus, Sirius finds it gets easier and easier to tell his friends and soon most (if not his whole) friend group knows

- Regulus on the other hand doesn’t tell anyone but Dorcas, Barty, Evan, Pandora and Sirius for a while. (James and Lily have to learn about it from Sirius)

- Andromeda is born completely deaf and it scares her mother half to death because it’s not often that the Black children are born that way

- Because of this she isn’t able to talk very clearly and struggles quite a lot

- Bellatrix, like Sirius is Born hard of hearing but her mother is a little more accepting of it and makes sure her daughters learn sign language

- So the girls grow up learning and knowing LSF (Langue des signes française/French sign language)

- They teach the brothers bits and pieces when they get the chance but Orion refuses to let them use it in the house

- Orion and Cyprus both don’t start becoming hard of hearing until they are teenagers and even then they never go completely deaf

- Walburga was born hard of hearing like Sirius and was considered a failure by her mother for this (she continued the cycle of this to Sirius)

- Alphard was not born completely deaf but is by the time he is a small child he is (His parents are reallyyy not happy about this)

- Because he went deaf after he began to talk he can talk mostly clearly, he does struggle a bit at times but it’s not normally noticeable

- However, he cannot speak English as he didn’t learn any before going deaf (French is his first language) and he only knows bsl after he moves out

- Tonks (Nymphadora) is born hard of hearing and grows up in a house that uses sign language

- Draco, like his mother is one of the few family members that are born hearing but he starts losing his hearing a bit earlier than most folks

- Teddy is also born hearing but grows up with Andromeda so they learn sign language as one of their first languages

- Scorpius was surprisingly born hard of hearing considering his mother, father and grandparents are not deaf or hard of hearing

- But not to worry, the family trauma is being healed and he grows up with a good support system and people who know sign language and use it with him

- Delphi and born hearing and doesn’t usually have any problems with her hearing until she’s a preteen

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honeybcj · 6 days

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lil snippet time !

thank u @sommerregenjuniluft and @moon-seas for the tags! im finally getting around to sharing a snippet, and despite it not seeming like it just yet, it is a little something for a jeggy fic idea i have swimming around in my brain!

Sure, there was the occasional helping hand of either Barty or Evan, but when Barty’s idea of helping a friend out is dramatically lounging back on Walburga’s black, velvet settee, an unlit joint hanging from his lips, there was only so much physical help Regulus received. Barty never cared, that much is true. Where Regulus put on a mask around his family, Barty did the opposite. He’d lash out, a fox-like grin on his mouth, as he did just about anything to drive his father to the brink of insanity. It worked, though. Regulus cannot recall the last time Barty had to speak to his father. It came at a price, a rather hefty one, which meant Bartemius Crouch Jr. had been, for a lack of better words, forcibly removed from ever receiving a single penny from Bartemius Crouch Sr. Of course, Barty shrugged it off, saying something along the lines of not wanting that kind of dirty money, but deep down, Barty buried his secrets and truth, letting it crack his sternum with the sheer mass of unhealed trauma. Barty had never been too good at hiding his pain, no matter how hard he tried. He’d play it off as some sort of joke, refusing to draw attention to his misery because he was cool like that. However, Regulus is more than capable of reading a room. It stems from the years and years of attempting to read his parents and his parents’ circle; it was a means of self-preservation. But Regulus wouldn’t pry, not until Barty was ready. Evan was a bit better about it, or at least he tried to be. His demeanor was a bit rotten, not something that’s uncharacteristic of Evan Rosier, but his typically sullen morbidity appeared to flare up into something a bit more ghoulish. His sunken eyes and pursed lips became more prominent, and Regulus is stuck on the fact that it’s because he stared far too long at the brutally horrifying portrait of Druella hanging just above the second floor landing. The quietness Evan exhibited and practiced was a reflection of the years he spent being silent, still not finding a moment to own up to his own voice and verbalize his every waking thought to a crowded room. That’s where Barty and Evan differ. It’s not just chance, but a fact that Evan despised Barty for it at first. Somewhere along the way, Evan became a little numb to Barty’s antics, maybe a little fond even. Not that Regulus would ever try to point that out because, despite Regulus’ general disdain towards life itself, he valued his life a little more than to fall victim to Evan’s sadistic fascination of scalpel-carving. You know, any normal person’s favorite pastime.

no pressure tags @fromagony @star4daisy @futurequibblerjournalist @orchideous-nox @ecstarry @itsjaywalkers @arviyya

#snippet tag game #mack's writing #untitled jegulus fic

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futurequibblerjournalist · 8 days

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Hihi!! :3

I'd love a yap session about your fav Knights!! If u want ofc :D

If not,, some Marauders content would be super cool!!!! Especially for Remus!! I'd love to hear about his parents and his relationship with them, but I'd be 100% totally and honestly down for anything!! Ooh defo any headcanons for him! Ahhh wowie I feel so special with all the attention uve given me !!

Have a good day :33

- 🍃

It's been so long since I've gotten to answer one of your asks vjfnjgnbg I've missed iiiiiit,,, it's been so fun answering your asks!!

I’m gonna be talking more about the actual knights of Walpurgis but I’m gonna take this as an excuse to talk about my girl Lucretia cause I love her so much

Her full name is Lucretia Elladora Black and she’s born in 1925 though I’ve yet to set an actual birthday for her,, I need to figure that out. She was born with Esotropia in her right eye, polydactyly (she had extra pinkies when she was born but they were removed) and she’s infertile (these are all because of the inbreeding that the Black family is known for).

She’s in the same year as Walburga at school and she was obviously a Slytherin. She was the seeker for the Slytherin quidditch team (though her brother and cousin would often somewhat tease her that it was not proper).

Her best subject is potions and she’s very fond of them. Other hobbies, save for quidditch, include entomology (specifically lepidopterology) and a fascination for the French language. She’s also quite interested in the magical artefacts that the Black family possesses.

She grew up in 12 Grimmauld Place with her younger brother Orion (he’s four years younger than her) and their parents Arcturus and Melania Black. Their house elf was Kreacher when she was growing up and like the woman, she got her middle name after she was notoriously bad to the house elves

I picture her with very long, sleek obviously black hair with bangs, upturned grey eyes, lips that are fuller in the upper lip, a long nose and a beauty spot under her right eye and one on her left cheekbone. She’s tall for like,, Black family standards but that’s not really saying a lot? She’s taller than both Walburga and Orion but just a smidge shorter than Cygnus and Alphard. She got narrow shoulders, average bust and a tiny waist and her skin is incredibly pale like the rest of the family’s.

I think she’s the one who starts out with a crush on Ignatius and everyone considers her a bit of a bitchy mean girl cause she’s one of the girls from the Black family and she’s got a fairly stern personality and a resting bitch face but when she’s around Ignatius she’s all giggly and smiling and twirling her hair and I think she spends a lot of time trying to subtly talk him up and get either her brother or her cousins to approve of him

As for Remus!!! Ahhh I love him so much cjnfjcnf

He was born to Lyall and Hope Lupin on March 10 1960 in Abergavenny, Wales, after the two got married. Lyall is a half-blood born to parents Ulric and Altalune in 1929 also born in Abergavenny. I really like Polish Hope who moves to England/Wales at some point after the war. She is, as we know, a muggle. She meets Lyall, they have their whole meet-cute with the boggart and they get married. Neither thought that they would end up having children but they had Remus as a surprise and he made them both very happy.

I am not a Remus has distant parents/parents that hate him/anything of that sort kind of person. He’s got parents that deeply love him and that are trying their best with him despite the situation they end up with, with Remus’s lycanthropy and that shapes Remus as a person!!! Which is why it’s so important!!! He is gentle in spite of everything partially because he has been surrounded by it for all of his childhood. He’s not been able to have friends but he’s had parents and especially a mother who tried her best to make sure he wasn’t missing anything

I think Remus is really close with his mum, he’s a bit of a mummy’s boy. He’s less close with Lyall, but that’s mostly because Lyall struggles to approach him sometimes because he feels guilty for what happened to Remus because of his actions.

As for some Remus headcanons:

He grew up in a dual faith household with Lyall being Christian (though not particularly practicing) and Hope being Jewish

Blonde Remus!!! It gets darker with age but it’s still light enough to be called blonde. He’s also got hazel/green-ish eyes and a shit tonne of freckles

The nose on this guy!!! Yes,, big < 3

He smokes menthols. He hides that he smokes from his parents but especially his mother

His closest friends are Peter and Lily. He considers Sirius and James very close friends as well of course, but I think he always thinks that there’s a bit of a distance between them cause they’re “so much cooler than him”

I think he met Peter on the train before he met anyone else and the two bonded. This is why Remus was so adamant that Sirius and James include Peter in their group because he refused to exclude his first friend

Feels like stating the obvious but huge collection of jumpers

On that note, Hope knits him stuff like all the time, he’s got knitted vests, knitted jumpers, knitted socks, the whole lot. Hope will sometimes knit socks for James, Sirius and Peter as well and ask him to bring them along

He grew up in many different places since they were forced to move around a lot, but the place he stayed the longest was a fairly remote cottage that he’s very fond of. It’s not particularly fancy, but it’s very cozy and homey

For the wolfstar fans out there I think Remus is the gangliest most awkward looking motherfucker and people are always confused when they learn that wolfstar is a thing because of all people Sirius Black could end up with he chose the one who looks like he’s been through a paper shredder?

A very good storyteller I feel? If he reads a book out loud he makes different voices for the characters, but even if he’s just telling a story in general it’s always very engaging

On that note he speaks a lot with his hands

He’s a horrible dancer lol

A lot of people headcanon that Remus is very warm I feel, but I imagine he feels cold all the time even if to other people he feels warm yk?

I don’t think he’s a bad singer, he might be kinda average, but he thinks he’s an awful singer. He’ll at most do a bit of humming in a very low vibrating voice and he usually does this either when he’s cooking or when he’s in the shower

When he blushes the tips of his ears also get really red

He is the farthest thing from a morning person. It’s almost always a race in the morning to see whether Sirius or Remus will toss a pillow at James first when he’s trying to get them to get up

Remus would wear full pyjamas but none of it would match

He really likes chocolate with orange crunch in it

I could see him being the kind of person to call people love (even more so when he’s older), especially in casual passing like if he bumps into someone he’ll go “oh, sorry, love” without really thinking about it

His favourite subjects are Defence Against the Dark Arts and Charms

I think that's all I've got for now? I have other asks that vaguely include him so there might be some more coming at some point vjfnbjgnb but yeah ahhhh thank you for the ask have some moodboards as well < 3

#🍃 anon #i love lucretia so much actually i'm so glad i got to talk about her #i could talk about that generation of the black family forever actually #and remus is always fun to talk about #i didn't realise how many depressive pins i'd saved on his pinterest #lucretia elladora black #lucretia black #remus john lupin #remus lupin #knights of walpurgis #riddle era #marauders #marauders era #hp marauders #dead gay wizards from the 70s #ask #anon ask #open asks #wolfstar

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