#Sorry to the people who interacted with the other one šŸ˜…
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odo-apologist Ā· 4 months ago
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Thinking about how between the first time we see Lister handle Rimmer's light bee (where he just immediately decides to put it in his mouth and later eat it. Average behavior.) and the part in Psirens when he catches it and treats it more gently, he was forced to crush the one belonging to High Rimmer with his bare hand, learning just how delicate it is
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yourqueenb Ā· 1 year ago
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THE TITLE šŸ’€šŸ˜­ (not a lie in the slightest, I was just caught off guard lmao)
No but in all seriousness, I think I have a bit of a complicated view of Kiara. Imo the issues with her have less to do with her interactions with the other characters as an individual and more to do with how she was treated by said characters, the writers, and fans vs. how the white women of the court were treated ā€” which is why I understand why you often compare her to them and agree that that is pretty much essential to comprehending just how bad the writing for her is.
In an instance where someone is playing chapters with a week in between each one, hiatuses of several months, and give or take a year between each book PLUS all of the retconning throughout, Kiara disappearing for significant periods of time or having minor cameos, and an MC who is not romancing Drake, I think her poor treatment is very easy to miss and itā€™s equally as easy to take misinterpretations as fact. *I would even say that there is some basis for people to have a less than positive opinion of her if the conversation from book 2 chapter 1 about her and MCā€™s alliance is one of the factors.
*From what I understand about the fandom at the time of the seriesā€™ release, people definitely took the ā€˜Kiara is a snobā€™/ā€˜Kiara is so fakeā€™ thing too far. But I think it would be a bit disingenuous to say that she does not come off as rude and snobby in that scene, especially given everything else we know about her. Kiara is intelligent, observant, and calculated. As a diplomat and noblewoman, she values etiquette and propriety. And as a polyglot/linguaphile, she not only has a deep understanding of language but also tends to choose her words and when she participates in conversation overall very carefully. So with all of that in mind, her saying things like ā€œeven if MC were someone we deigned to associate withā€, ordering Penelope not to ā€œstart up on those dogs againā€, and pointing out her and Penelopeā€™s high position of honor in response to a disgraced MC asking if theyā€™ll be joining her in the back (which couldā€™ve been meant matter of factly but looks bad within context)ā€¦. definitely cuts deep and feels unnecessarily snooty (and patronizing in Penelopeā€™s case). Not to mention the whole ā€œsheā€™s beneath usā€ comment in response to MC being a bit sarcastic after everything just mentioned.
However, the absolute vitriol many fans had for her along with how eager they were to paint and view her only in a negative light no matter what makes no sense considering all of Penelope, Madeleine, and Oliviaā€™s wrongdoings. Like Kiara doesnā€™t even come close to being as hateful and malicious as the last two and isnā€™t fake at all like Penelope. So why do the other three get excessive amounts of grace that they arenā€™t even deserving of while Kiara gets none and is either actively hated or largely forgotten instead?
If the writers valued and cared for their Black characters as much as they do their white ones and focused on consistency instead of favoritism, then some of the writing for and dynamics between the TRR cast wouldnā€™t have been as bad. But even then, that would still require entire scenes and chapters to be completely different. And that still doesnā€™t cover the fansā€™ eagerness to purposely misinterpret things and project their biases onto Black characters or the writersā€™ willingness to pander to those fans regardless.
Thankfully, PB didnā€™t reflect the fansā€™ view of Kiara as a Jezebel in the writing (which is honestly a bit surprising considering how much they catered to Drake stans and the fact that they have used the stereotype before in other stories as you pointed out). But given this essay and what I remember of this series myself, I just want to briefly point out and comment on some of the other stereotypes and real world experiences I noticed PB perpetuating and reflecting within TRR.
The first is the scene where Drake and MC can prank Kiara by dumping out her hair products. I havenā€™t read the scene or romanced Drake myself, but I think the inclusion of that at all isā€¦ letā€™s say interestingā€¦ considering the fact that attacking Black womenā€™s physical appearance and beauty is often one of the first things non-Black people do when they feel threatened in any way. And of course, the prank seems fairly harmless in the grand scheme of things and is nowhere near equivalent to real life policing of Black hair. However that particular option appearing after the overall rage/jealousy of Drake stans toward Kiara isnā€™t really something that can be ignored.
The next is all of the questioning, mocking, and challenging of Kiaraā€™s skills and capability. This one especially rubs me the wrong way because itā€™s such a common microaggression, but I feel like most people didnā€™t even notice it in the story and definitely donā€™t irl. Like Olivia is lauded as some sort of badass super spy who Cordonia couldnā€™t survive without even though she does nothing with any of the intel she manages to getā€¦. But sure, Kiara is the one with delusions of grandeur who needs to prove that sheā€™s as capable as she says she is šŸ¤Ø
And coming off of that, I think itā€™s very telling how a lot of the fans take issue with Kiaraā€™s perceived ā€œsnobbishnessā€, but ignore it or find it amusing when Olivia, Madeleine, or anyone else at court acts the same way if not worse. If it were an issue with classism and arrogance in general, then surely Olivia, Madeleine, etc. wouldnā€™t be exempt from criticism/backlash, right? But they usually are and are even seen as people who deserve to be cockyā€¦ so then what could possibly be the issue now??
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And once again, I feel compelled to point out how a lot of the time Black people canā€™t escape the ugly realities of the world that we live in even in fiction. We canā€™t be too beautiful, too smart, too aware of our accomplishments, or too comfortable in prestigious spaces lest we threaten the inherent superiority of everyone else. Society holds us to a higher standard yet expects so little of us at the same time. And unfortunately, Kiara and many of PBā€™s other Black characters are indicative of all of this
Drake and Kiara: When You're Fucking Racist
Series - TRR's Alternative LIs - The "Romances" that Didn't Happen
Previous - Hana and Madeleine: When You Reward Your Favourite Bully with One of Her Victims
A/N: Again, apologies for the length. There was a LOT to unpack in this one!! I'm really, really not going to be nice to Drake here. It was harrowing to go through a lot of these scenes again and I honestly don't have the patience or inclination to sugarcoat any of it.
CW: Mentions of gun violence and minimization of trauma. Mentions of racist fan vitriol towards a black character. Examination of the Jezebel stereotype.
Whenever I think about how unhinged the hatred towards Kiara (and especially towards Kiara's attraction to Drake) was, a specific edit comes to mind.
On the surface, it looks quite simple. Kiara in a white wedding dress, Drake right next to her in his blue formal suit. Both of them are smiling at the viewer. The background is a beautiful forest, and the entire picture is bathed in a lovely, muted sepia tone. A sweet, simple wedding scene.
The caption underneath this edit?
Classify under things no one asked for.
Kiara's dream come true!
The tags read "#i barf a little looking at this" and "#i must post to share the suffering". You find out in the comments that the OP created this edit inspired by one of the many fics where Kiara was Drake's stalker, and intended to make her creepy and deranged (but ultimately failed).
The comments are...tbh, things that this fandom has long since normalized and shrugged at when it comes to Drake stans. Multiple puke-face emojis. Multiple gifs signaling disgust. One stan even equates the ship name (Driara) to the word diarrhoea.
"She looks very stalkeresque and white "I drugged Drake so he's marrying me" wedding ready!"
"Well it's close to Halloween so we should expect scary shit"
"THAT is why I made that bitch my Maid of Honor...so she got the message LOUD AND CLEAR...it ain't NEVER gonna happen honey" (right below a barfing gif)
I wish I could say this example of Kiara hatred was the worst of the lot, or even the only one. It wasn't. I'm not sure even an entire essay would be adequate space to explore the sheer levels of vitriol, hatred and double standards dumped on this one character.
Until now, we've seen examples of alternative LIs that were treated with respect. With adulation. Often with kid gloves in case we hurt their poor lill fee-fees. Up until now, no matter what an alternative LI may have done, the LI matched with them wasn't allowed to treat them badly, nor was the MC able to get away with hurting them without punishment.
But in this series, Kiara was, is, and will always be an anomaly.
The Jezebel Stereotype
In most media, black women in particular tend to be subjected to a variety of stereotypes that often have serious, real-world implications. The Mammy, the Sapphire (that over time evolved to what we now know as the "Angry Black Woman" stereotype) and the Jezebel, being the most prominent ones among them. In this essay, I will be focusing specifically on the last.
An article in the Black Then website explains the definition and history of the trope this: "The portrayal of black women as lascivious by nature is an enduring stereotype. The descriptive words associated with this stereotype are singular in their focus: seductive, alluring, worldly, beguiling, tempting, and lewd. Historically, white women, as a category, were portrayed as models of self-respect, self-control, and modesty ā€“ even sexual purity, but black women were often portrayed as innately promiscuous, even predatory. This depiction of black women is signified by the name Jezebel."
So it isn't altogether uncommon to see stories where black women are juxtaposed against "pure", "innocent" white/white-passing women, and viewed as lesser. PB hasn't exactly escaped these stereotypes in their stories either - though there are a variety of characters and character types, we can't deny that there was a time when a black woman was made the antagonist, often in ways that were meant to measure her up to the MC/another white woman to her detriment.
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(VoS screenshots from the HIMEME YouTube channel, ACOR screenshots from Vika Avey's YouTube channel)
Two very prominent examples of PB using this trope are Scarlett from VoS, and Xanthe from ACOR. There are other black women who serve as antagonists but in a more professional space, but these two particularly are measured on their attractiveness, sex appeal and "purity" in the narrative in comparison to either the MC, or someone close to them.
In VoS, Scarlett Emerson and Kate O'Malley are the sisters of the two male LIs (Grant and Flynn), but their treatment couldn't be any more different. Scarlett's role in the book is pretty short-lived. She's very prominent in the first half of the book as Kate's potential MOH who secretly hates her, before it's revealed in Ch 5 that Tanner was cheating on Kate with her (and that she'd loved him since she was a child). Notably, in that very scene, the MC places most of the blame on Scarlett (rather than on Tanner for choosing to betray his fiancƩe) by labelling the act as her seduction of him.
Thereafter she is either only mentioned, or has blink-and-you-miss-it appearances in one or two chapters. We see her in the "memory" portion of the bonus scene, but we are never shown what her future is like (even as minor characters like Miss Harleney get one!). Her bonus scene shows us how her bracelet ended up on Tanner's boat, and it is an uncomfortable scene to get through. Tanner berates Scarlett for having sex with him a week before his wedding, but it is she who points out that he asked her to come there! Yet the MC and others view her as the temptress who "seduced" Tanner, as if the man had no mind of his own.
The narrative often juxtaposes her with Kate, the pure, innocent, sweet fiancƩe (and she actually is! No pretence there) and the fandom lapped it up. There were many demands for Kate to be upgraded to LI status, which eventually resulted in PB allowing us to marry her if we chose. As I mentioned earlier, both Scarlett and Kate are sisters to two of our LIs - but one is made an LI, while no one bothers to even imagine what the other's future entails.
An even worse fate greets that of Xanthe, the sole female antagonist in ACOR. The slut-shaming and disgust over her overt sexuality is far more blatant here. And it is extremely ironic for Xanthe to be viewed in this way, because the MC herself is a courtesan and uses wiles to get men to do her bidding. While Xanthe herself is not perfect by any means - she is depicted as xenophobic and callous, going as far as to mock Syphax when he is sent away to a possible death as a gladiator - the MC's targeting of her goes beyond just her "righteous indignation" and develops into a form of hypocrisy. She has no qualms mocking Xanthe for her direct approach or her skimpy red dress (even though the MC herself wears a skimpy red dress and can seduce a man in a temple not too long after).
The end Xanthe meets is horrific in its implications - the black matron of her scholae (who began by promising the MC herself that "you need do nothing against your will") sends her away to sexual slavery in Sicily, while the black man who was one of the few bastions of morality in the book, escorts her, smiling, to the ship that will take her there. As far as the narrative is concerned, the end was well-deserved...even though PB has had no issues allowing white women to do far worse without any punishment.
We cannot view what ACOR did with Xanthe in isolation. They had built up to it early on - from the MC's reactions towards her, her patrons' dismissiveness of her, the MC's LIs' viewing her with derision and zero respect. The MC - despite her own unscrupulousness - is viewed as the "noble whore" to Xanthe, yet it is clear on even a surface read that there is not much difference between the two women.
The Jezebel stereotype, ultimately, is about dehumanizing the black woman it focuses on, so that her actions and choices are viewed as deviant from what is "normal" - feeding into either responses of disgust and derision, or a desire to objectify her. To some readers, it makes whatever awful or comparatively unfair end they meet, more palatable. Scarlett and Xanthe are not viewed as people by the narrative - especially not the way the MC of their books or even white female antagonists are. No one cares for their backstories, coos over their losses, wonders if they are okay. When they meet their inevitable end, the characters and so many in the fandom alike just shrug and move along.
How does a character like Kiara fit into this? Her smarts and linguistic talents are her most prominent traits, and while she does have feelings for Drake, she never really acts out-of-pocket towards him (more on this later). So at least from what we see in canon, there's very little about her that seems to apply to the Jezebel stereotype. Yet, the fandom is not only inclined, but eager, to view her as one. Kiara's feelings have been viewed in a far more predatory light, perhaps more often than any other female character in the series. Why is this so?
A response I have often seen - on reddit, on Kiara's wiki page, at times on Tumblr too - is how there is a "certain something" about Kiara that people "just don't like". Many players who prefer Penelope to her are often very aware of what she has done, but still insist they like her far more than they do Kiara. On a reddit thread about questioning the logic of having Kiara and Penelope as options for the MC's MOH in TRR3, certain players commented thus:
"I don't know why, I just dislike her a lot. Penelope is fine to me, but Kiara irritates me." (said commenter is an Aerin stan)
"I liked Penelope, I thought she was nice. But Kiara got on my nerves."
In her book, The Sisters Are Alright, Tamara Winfrey Harris makes an eye-opening (to me at least!) observation about how misogynoir works:
"Misogynoir, abetted by dehumanizing caricature, is like water. It fills its vessel, taking many forms, and then overflows, creeping unnoticed into the cracks of things, rotting the foundation. It spreads a belief in Black womenā€™s inherent wrongness." (Italics mine).
Now of course, if I were to ask the current fandom, they would come up with a range of reasons. Some that emerged from fandom myths and became more popular than the truth in time, some from PB's excessive pandering to players that hated her. But the root of it all is in a certain "je ne sais quoi" that makes her automatically unappealing, resulting in those readers leaning towards misreading or misremembering her scenes, misrepresenting her motives, or watering down the impact of worse actions from whiter women. It results in a group of writers (who have thus far gone to the extent of retconning the worst of a white woman's actions just to make her look good) leaning into such readings, even when they're not true.
TRR1 Kiara: Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake?
"Kiara is fake", "Kiara is a snob", "Kiara is self-serving", "Kiara promised to be friends with us but dropped us like a hot potato the moment we became unpopular". These are some of the most enduring takes about Kiara in the past few years, and readers who say this usually bring up a vague recollection of TRR1 and 2 as proof. Mostly that "Kiara was our friend" in the first book, and left us hanging at the beginning of TRR2.
Is that reading based in fact, though? Let's take a look at TRR1!Kiara and find out.
We are introduced to Kiara (along with Penelope, and standing next to Hana) in TRR3 when we meet Liam's other suitors. Olivia introduces each woman differently, and the descriptor she uses for Kiara is that she is the "daughter of a diplomat and fluent in ten languages" (note: Kiara never boasts of her linguistic skill, Olivia does. Nor are there any scenes of her looking down on anyone who doesn't speak her mother tongue French, unless of course you accidentally ask her to sleep with you).
Both she and Penelope note immediately that the MC doesn't quite fit in - if the MC questions the women about being allies with Olivia, a woman who calls them "harpies", they view that as an overreaction. When the MC tells the ladies at the Derby about getting lost, Kiara finds her tardiness and inability to fit in, a sign that she cannot keep up with the competition. Until the chapters in Lythikos, Kiara's and Penelope's characterizations are almost interchangeable, personality-wise. It is likely the team envisioned them more as European nobility rather than specifically Cordonian (based on Olivia's introductions), and they are both depicted as poised, refined and aware of their place in court.
It's in Lythikos that Kiara, at least, begins to show a more distinct personality (for Penelope it's after the Regatta). Unlike the rest of the court, who watches Olivia's unwanted kiss on Liam with either mild shock or disinterest, Kiara is angered by what she sees as a very obvious power-play - which gives the MC the opening she needs to gain an alliance.
Now this "alliance" scene of Kiara's is interesting, for two reasons. One is that fandom often uses this scene to establish her "double standards" in TRR2, claiming that Kiara opted to be friends with the MC. Yet nowhere in the scene does the MC or Kiara ever suggest a friendship with each other - they both agree to an alliance. Furthermore, this is an arrangement that benefits the MC more - there isn't exactly anything she contributes (or is expected to contribute) to Kiara from her end. Kiara's promise is that she will put in a good word in the MC's favour, and she upholds that promise throughout the social season.
Another is that among the courtiers, Kiara herself is the first person to identify and respond to the MC's potential if she shows it at the Derby and the tea party (though Hana is also a courtier, I view her strictly as an LI in this context - since her support is by default and is founded on a more emotional basis). Not many nay notice this, but there is a distinction between how Kiara responds to an MC in a successful play vs a failplay...in a way that none of the other suitors do. Take note of the screenshots below:
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The top two pictures in this collage are dialogues that feature by default. The bottom two, however, are dependent on branch-coding. They only appear IF the MC has managed to win the approval of the King, the Queen and the press. If you don't succeed in the same, she will not mention your performance in the social season at all, nor will she say anything about the value of your alliance.
That is a far bigger deal than most players of this series realize. It means that Kiara has been watching us closely, and has understood our potential over the course of just three court events. Only two other characters are shown tracking our progress this way: Bertrand (who is our sponsor, so he has to keep track) and Queen Regina (who can guess already her stepson's feelings for the MC, which automatically makes her a person of interest). For Kiara to understand the MC's capabilities, and to openly admit she has potential this early in the competition - it takes a high level of rationality, honesty and pragmatism to come to such a conclusion. Unlike Olivia (who lashes out in jealousy at the MC), Penelope (who has to be told why exactly it's good to have allies), and Madeleine (who dismisses us as competition until it's too late), Kiara actually views the MC with a discerning, impartial eye and an objective approach.
So on the surface, it appears as if Kiara is written by a team that likes her! You could almost be convinced that they thought she was cool but were forced to pander to "crazy Drake stans" in their writing later (which is an argument I have heard often). After all, she's established as beautiful, skilled, smart and observant. You wouldn't do that for a character you don't like, right?
But even as early as TRR1, a disdain for Kiara creeps in from the writing that you rarely see for any of the others.
This is especially apparent when you look at how Kiara's proficiency with language is spoken about. It is supposed to be her most visible skill - Olivia identifies her by it, we see her peppering her English sentences with French words (of course, many may argue that she doesn't exactly sound like an actual French person...but let's remember that her writers aren't exactly very used to the language themselves or interested in doing extra research for authenticity!). As we approach the end of the first book, there are at least two dialogue options that result in people doubting her abilities or mocking her for speaking only English and French most of the time.
In TRR1 Ch 16, Madeleine optionally speaks to the MC over phone (believing her to be a reporter taking her interview) about her thoughts on Kiara. Kiara's tendency to speak mostly in French and English is supposed to be a sign that she "exaggerates her accomplishments". Mind you, this is from the same woman who claims to be the best choice for Cordonia despite her poor strategies and her antagonizing potential allies during the engagement tour (TRR2); who complains if the MC doesn't compliment her for mediocre work as a press sec (TRR3). The MC can also choose to diss Kiara in a similar way, treating Kiara like she is a circus performer and her skills as if they are meant for the MC's entertainment. The only solace I could derive from this dumpster fire of a dialogue option, was that Kiara managed to shut the MC up with her multilingual response.
No other time are we allowed to call a courtier's abilities and skills into question. The MC accepts on faith that Olivia is a badass with great fighting skills. Same with Penelope's ability as a seamstress. The MC is never even allowed to have legitimate complaints about Madeleine's work as press sec, besides maybe that she could "be a little nicer". So the fact that the writers not only have other characters doubt Kiara's talent, but also allow people to mock her about it in all three books...is really something.
Another possible indicator of this disdain is the fact that Kiara is the only suitor who never gets a chance to actually interact with Liam on-screen. Even Penelope, a fellow minor character, can approach and talk to him twice...and her gift to him is shown in Ch 18 whereas Kiara's and Hana's aren't. Despite the fact that Kiara is a potential suitor, the story never allows her to interact with Liam. She doesn't exactly have any interactions with Drake in this book either, but honestly nor does any other couple have much time together besides Liam and Olivia.
Drake and Kiara hardly seemed to be a possibility back in TRR1. Drake himself didn't seem to associate with anyone besides the MC and the group in the first book (and even with the group his interactions were infrequent). Kiara herself doesn't have many scenes that aren't related to the court or to the competition, even once she is no longer participating. The closest she comes to any sort of association besides Penelope, is a friendship with Hana that begins sometime before the Fox Hunt. Drake and Kiara never actually have any scenes together, or interactions, or references. It is likely that the idea to pair them up was entirely a Book 2 thing.
On a fandom level, neither Kiara or Penelope garnered much attention or fan reactions. They weren't noticed much, nor did you see their scenes too often. Probably that is why it was so damn easy to remember Kiara's entire equation with the MC wrong. Why certain stans of the book were able to get away with misrepresenting the relationship between her and the MC in TRR1, to hate on her in TRR2. I will not deny, though, that certain dialogue choices from PB (like "I thought we were friends!" in the Fydelia scene) may have had a hand in those beliefs becoming the "truth".
TRR2 Kiara - Pragmatic Courtier or Backstabbing Snake (Part 2)
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I plan to get into the way the Drake and Kiara angle is framed in canon, but before that it's important to tackle that one elephant in the room - Kiara telling the MC the alliance is over. Because very often, people used this scene (coupled with their misinterpretations of Book 1) as their "justification" to hate her. Often, people would choose the ruder options (such as the Christmas card dialogue) and assume that Kiara was rude by default, rather than as a consequence of the MC's behaviour towards her.
Kiara and Penelope are the first to express surprise at the MC's return (and their reactions are shown as representative of the rest of the court). Kiara in fact is shocked that the MC dared to return (which is kinda warranted! Several people in these early chapters view that as a risky move, a gamble that could backfire on her. That's why Bertrand gets her a press secretary). Their scene with the MC immediately follows the MC's conversation with Liam and Madeleine (and mind you, in the option where the MC can tell her she was set up, Madeleine herself voices disbelief of the same. Conveniently, this is never used as a reason to hate her). Both women let the MC know of their change in status, and therefore the change in their relationship with her.
What gets missed overall, is that Kiara is a lady-in-waiting (which is an actual role with specific duties) to Madeleine, which means her loyalty now has to lie with this woman whether she likes it or not. For her to even agree to approach the MC and explain the situation, is a risk. In at least two dialogue options in this scene, she tells the MC straight-up that they will be in trouble if they're even seen talking to her (this becomes a moot point by Ch4, mostly because Madeleine herself is shown talking to the MC and allowing her into conversations in public, once Hana arrives).
Penelope is often viewed in a better light in this scene because of her obvious friendliness and her sadness at no longer being the MC's friend, but once you have the reveal of her being a traitor, her behaviour in this scene seems wildly disingenuous, and I'm surprised more people didn't call her a fake when the reveal came out. She had to know the allegations against the MC were fake when she rushed to hug her, having been an integral part of that fabrication. It makes her lament when she's caught, in the failplay, ("I can't do anything right. You were never supposed to find out!") that much more chilling. She is eager to have the benefit of the MC's friendship and emotional support, without ever being honest about her role in smearing her reputation.
The other was that - no matter what you may choose to think of this scene - Kiara was placing herself at risk to let the MC know it was over. Approaching the MC was the right thing to do, but what is never spoken about is the fact that it was also a brave thing to do. Rather than ghost the pariah of the court and never give an explanation, she tells her honestly what the situation is, and strives to protect her impulsive friend (who could get both of them in trouble) at the same time.
When you view Kiara's actions from that lens - when you look at the facts - suddenly the claims that Kiara was "fake", "a flip-flopper", "a backstabber", "unscrupulous and self-serving", sound pretty hollow.
TRR2: The Drake x Kiara "Romance" Begins...and So Does the Vitriol
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So...an interesting thing about the general reaction to Kiara in the early chapters of TRR2. I was new to the fandom when this book was released. There was an annoyance at Kiara when the first chapter came out, but to my surprise it didn't exactly become full-blown hatred until she started showing an interest in Drake in Ch 3.
This book is often used as a reference by Drake stans when they speak of Kiara as an obsessed, stalker-type, sex-hungry woman - often in contrast to their "pure", "innocent" MCs. Basically...the Jezebel. But the five scenes we see of this ship in the book itself tell a completely different story:
1. Drake Helps Kiara Lift A Heavy Beam (TRR2 Ch 3)
Chapter 3 is perhaps the first time we see an indication of Kiara's attraction to Drake on a physical level. The scene takes place at the barn raising, but only if we choose to stay with Drake over Hana for the barn raising activities. Kiara shows up in a rather pitiable state - her friend Penelope abandoned her for thirty whole minutes, leaving her to lift incredibly heavy beams alone. Drake helps Kiara and mildly chides her for not asking for his help, and Kiara stares at his bare chest, mesmerized.
She isn't exactly alone in this - the MC herself ogles at his bare chest at one point (if we go by the lines in the narrative that read "his muscles glisten in the sunlight" which is def from the MC's PoV). This scene was meant as fanservice for stans who wanted to drool over Drake's physique for a bit, and belatedly build up an alternative (at least for all three male LIs, they were trying to do this in TRR2).
The MC can either point out Kiara's obvious attraction towards Drake, or suspect her of being part of the plot. This will not be the last time the MC or the group will view her with suspicion, with little to no basis in fact. In the option that calls attention to Kiara's attraction to Drake, she is shown covertly sneaking a second look at him. Drake is shown with a visible discomfort at even the idea that Kiara could like him, one that only the MC notices considering she is working in proximity with him.
The reaction to this was instantaneous from several Drake x MC shippers. One or two glances at Drake's chest was enough for Drake stans to begin typing posts in capslock, screaming "BACK OFF KIARA HE'S MINE". The excuses given at the time were that the MC didn't get much opportunity to romance him (Drake was trying to refrain from kissing her in Ch 2 because he felt guilty), and largely-inaccurate judgements of Kiara's character. Jealousy of this kind is sometimes seen as the norm when you have a popular ship and a third angle is created, but this was about to take form in some...very disturbing ways in later chapters.
2. Kiara was Once Savannah's Friend/Kiara's long-standing crush on Drake (Ch 4)
A misconception I often see in the fandom (particularly in relation to how Kiara's feelings for Drake aren't given the same level of consideration that Olivia's for Liam is) is that Olivia's are "more genuine", and Kiara's are "mere lust" or "only physical" and this is probably why she's not given as much respect as Olivia was. Even though, tbh, Kiara was far, far more respectful of Drake and his personal space, than Olivia was of Liam in TRR1.
Leaving aside the obvious problems with that train of thought (viewing sexual feelings as "lesser" just because they're not rooted in some intense emotion), this is not even true, and the first part of the Driara garden party scene is proof enough. Kiara says, straight up, that Drake had been "such a good friend to [Liam]. It's part of why I always liked you." (Bold mine). If the MC voices doubts about this (likely incorporated for readers who would question it as a retcon...and it was a retcon since they didn't interact in TRR1), Kiara tells her that she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve, which actually matches her practical approach to most things. In fact just a few scenes earlier, when the MC questioned her about wanting a husband (when she'd mentioned earlier about wanting to join the ministry), Kiara informs her that it would never hurt to have both. So it makes sense for her character if she's someone who kept her feelings for Drake a secret, especially while in a competition for winning the Crown Prince's hand. But we cannot, in any honest capacity, claim that Kiara's feelings for Drake weren't deep enough, or lasting enough, or genuine enough. At least based on the evidence we have.
Another point this scene brings up is Kiara's friendship towards Savannah. Up until this point, the only people who did reference her were Olivia, Drake and Maxwell - and Olivia's mockery of especially seemed to imply that the ladies of the court weren't very nice to her. Kiara's account is very different from this, and actually quite affectionate ("she was one of us", "she was coming along so well in learning French"). It's not the closest friendship, but Kiara did care enough to tutor her in the language and clearly missed her. It is possible that this scene was positioned to both build up to the alternative romance and foreshadow Savannah's presence in Paris. There is a lot more that could have been done with this angle, but perhaps that is a discussion for another section.
3. Never-Have-I-Ever (Ch 9)
This is a small option in a drinking game - the MC can get to say "never have I ever had a crush on Kiara", and loses, because Drake says she isn't his type (ironically he claims he isn't her type in the next chapter). It's interesting that he does consider her as not as bad as some of the others in that group.
3. Flirting with Drake in Paris (Ch 10)
For five chapters, we don't see any more hints of this romance. We see Drake in plenty, and we see quite a bit of Kiara. But none of it shows them together.
Kiara's scene with Drake at the tea party, is in some ways a continuation of his diamond scene with Savannah. He knows now where his sister is and what her big secret was, but this scene is where he realises how little he actually knew about her, if even her "noblewoman friend" knew she had intentions to go to Paris and he, her brother, didn't. This scene also takes place at what I call a "rest period" in the story - the group has just come out of a high-intensity altercation with Bastien, and it is one chapter before the major reveal about Constantine. So the MC can relax a little, some of the loose ends of previous stories can be tied up, and we get a vibe check on at least two alternative ships.
Drake is rather civil to Kiara in this conversation, mostly because he's trying to get information about his sister out of her. There isn't much he contributes besides this - it doesn't seem to matter much to him that Kiara was a rare friend among the court to Savannah (tho TRR3 would later retcon this), and when she talks about herself he doesn't pay much attention. Kiara does make an attempt at a light flirtation which goes largely unnoticed.
The MC's response when she first sees them goes three ways - a neutral comment about the petit-fours, a "matchmake-y" comment that points to them that they "look cozy", and a "jealous" comment about interrupting them. The third one especially results in Drake inadvertently confirming he doesn't think of Kiara in a romantic light, and Kiara appearing disappointed. Remember, at this point she doesn't see much evidence that Drake and the MC romancing him are an item.
The follow-up conversation with Drake, too, follows along similar lines. The neutral comment just asks him about the information he gathered from Kiara, the "matchmake-y" one points out she has feelings for Drake and the "jealous" one is... something.
The third response is very obviously crafted for the more possessive Drake stans to get satisfaction from dissing Kiara, perhaps in a more aggressive way than the Maxwell stans could. While the Maxwell MC can pass an insult or two to discourage Penelope, the Drake MC will go as far as to tell him he belongs only to her, and can threaten to "push her into the petit-fours".
Ironically, this scene follows a scene with Olivia about her lingering feelings for Liam - and Olivia's grief, the MC's clear sympathy and Liam's concern for Olivia are all by default. There is a certain level of sensitivity the Liam MC is required to have for Olivia that is never once expected of the Drake MC, and that plays out in very dangerous ways in the next book.
This scene, again, brought forth rather violent reactions, and in fact the language of the MC's responses itself seemed to encourage that kind of response. A poster later compiled an entire set of these responses ranging from mocking, to "back off, Kiara!" to straight up demands for murder (I couldn't link to this post because the names of the people involved were included in it, but I do have quite a few of those screenshots for reference).
After this point, you don't see any more scenes where Kiara actively flirts. In fact for most of the second half you see her and Penelope very rarely. So it does feel really wild in retrospect that "obsessed Kiara" became such a popular interpretation, after one checking-out scene, one flirtation and one rather sweet and genuine compliment of him as a person.
4. Pranking Kiara (Ch 17)
A pattern you would have noticed by now is that there is a bit of a mean streak in Drake for Kiara that is either very dominant or latent, based on whether the MC tries to encourage him, or shows jealousy towards her.
And this isn't necessarily an indicator that he can never be interested in Kiara. A distrust for nobility is almost a norm for him at this point, and let's not forget that Drake's first few interactions with the MC too didn't exactly leave her with the best impression of him either. Kiara initially being on Madeleine's side at the beginning of the story could be a factor in some level of disdain too. Such complications could - in a good story - add layers to a potential romance in the future if that was the direction the writing was going for.
Around the MC who doesn't mind them as a pair, he shows a small sliver of an inclination towards Kiara herself. His response if the MC points out that Kiara was flirting with him (Ch 10) is that he doesn't believe he is Kiara's type, not the other way around. In this scene, a drunk Drake who is encouraged to write a "nice note" to her as a prank, can write "your hair is pretty and your French is totally not stupid". Both of these lines present a sign of a possibility that a romance could happen. His behaviour when an MC casually hints at this possibility, is of someone who may like this woman deep down, but show it in very strange ways (akin to the age-old metaphor of the "boy who pulls the pigtails of the girl he has a crush on"). They wouldn't have even needed to show his responses in this way if they weren't trying to hint at a possibility.
His response to a "jealous" MC is to delightedly bask in her possessiveness of him, and to go hand-in-glove with her as she insults or suggests violence on Kiara in any way. Now one could perhaps headcanon this as a behaviour that comes from being unused to female attention focused on him, coupled with his affection for the MC - but when you take into account his behaviour towards Kiara herself in TRR3 as well, there seems to be a blatant lack of consideration or compassion towards her as a human being. Compare this, again, to the way Liam's behaviour towards Olivia is written in canon, and interpreted by the fandom. Liam is expected to be kind to her, even if he's clueless about her feelings or if she is harming him (eg. Even when she kisses him, he cares enough to opt for a reaction that will not publicly humiliate Olivia).
Not so for Drake. He is very happy to follow in the MC's lead, even in hurting Kiara. And in this scene, he pretty much kickstarts it with the suggestion of a prank.
Drake knows where Kiara's room is (thanks to a nameplate on the door, and the familiarity of the hallway, which he likes for the view outside) and wants to prank her. The MC can either accept or refuse. If she accepts, there is one nice option, and two distinctly mean-spirited ones. The first proposes to mess up her book organizational system, and the narrative describes the attempt as "ruining any semblance of order to Kiara's bookshelves". These are materials she likely requires for her career as an aspiring diplomat, or even books she uses to update herself on the world. But to this MC and Drake, her work and interests are little more than a joke.
The second one is not only aggressively mean - it also is an attempt to ruin her personal space with her personal items. Going by the array of haircare the narrative mentions, maintaining her hair is very important to Kiara (I am not equipped enough to speak about black women and their relationship with their hair, but this option did make me very uncomfortable, because of the little I've seen on how essential regular haircare and good products can be for many black women). Not only does the MC suggest using all that product to render Kiara's bed practically unusable, she also insists Drake waste the full bottle of said product. Because, yknow. "It's a prank. Go big or go home". Drake has one moment where he tries to be less mean in this option (when he attempts to use less of her hairspray), but the moment the MC encourages him towards a crueller direction he does not hesitate. In fact, when the MC first suggests this option, he regards her with something approaching awe, and praises her as "an evil genius".
There's a mean streak in Drake here no matter which option you choose. If you do go for the nicer one, he complains at first that it's not exactly a prank and in fact does claim that they "could still put glitter in her cupboard" as an alternative prank. But the other two options encourage the player to give full vent to whatever underlying frustration/enmity/hatred one could possibly have against Kiara, goading a drunk Drake to be merciless towards the things in her room, in her absence.
Maybe, perhaps, one could just view this as a "fun vent" for the "possessive stans". It allowed the Drake MC and her LI the chance to gang up on her, mock her and cause her discomfort through things that were clearly important to her, treat her like the butt of their joke, and get away with it. When you encourage that kind of hatred with your writing, it can go into some very dark, disturbing places. And it did, especially in TRR3.
The overall response to this scene didn't show much, since it was just one small sequence in a larger scene - and most of the focus was on the heartfelt bonding between Drake and the MC when he takes her to his "special hideout" and his reveal about his motives behind calling the MC by her surname.
Many Drake stans, however, took note of this specific section, and took their interpretations in a completely different direction. Questions were asked about why Drake knew about Kiara's room - completely ignoring that he frequented the hallway regardless for its view and her nameplate is literally placed outside her door - and several fans suspected the two to be involved in an affair just on the basis of him knowing where her room was. These suspicions, again, would crop up from the fandom in a more dramatic way in TRR3.
5. Drinks at Homecoming Ball (Ch 19)
This scene takes place in the finale, just before Kiara and Penelope apologize jointly to the MC for their comments in the beer garden.
Drake is, quite predictably, at the bar in this scene. In some ways one could draw a parallel between this one and the "bar" scene between him and the MC in TRR1 - the only differences being that the two were alone in the first, and that he and the MC are free to romance each other now. However this time, the two ladies of the court could also communicate with him about drinks, and he could use his knowledge of alcohol to guess their preferences.
The scene with Kiara is, again, written to be both a possible sign of familiarity and a diss (mostly the second, I think). With Penelope he just vaguely mentions cocktails and focuses on the decoration for the drink - with Kiara he is able to name the specific wine even though in TRR3 he has no idea what tannins are. There are ways one could envision that as a sign that he notices more about Kiara than he lets on.
The diss, of course, comes with his claim that no matter how top-shelf the wine is, it will still always be "old grape juice" (which is a very strange thing to say because most alcohols are fermented from basic ingredients be it fruit or grains - where did he think his high-quality whiskey that he regularly carries around in his personal flask came from??).
Kiara's attempt to impress him is pretty obvious, but the diss isn't something that weighs too much on her mind. There are less indicators here of a dejection if he brushes her aside, unlike the scene in Ch 10 - she just looks a bit surprised he could guess the exact drink she wanted. Kiara in this scene is more likely to shift gears to something more important. In this case, that is apologizing to the MC for what she views as poor behaviour that sprung up under the influence of alcohol, and offering her an olive branch (the specific apology is for her asking the MC if she came to gloat, not for telling her the alliance was over at the beginning of the tour. In that scene specifically she feels she has nothing to apologise for, and I'm inclined to agree for the reasons I stated in that section).
The overall pattern for this ship seems to indicate that it's...kinda there in case the MC doesn't want to pick Drake, but I always feel like they focused a lot more on the jealousy options and didn't spend enough time to see what a possible relationship could look like. They do claim later that Kiara's affections were supposed to be one-sided, but the buildup at least seemed to indicate some small baseline of interest from Drake's end, even if shown in some rather bizarre ways. However, because there seems to be very little respect for this character already, having the MC threaten violence and having her and Drake overreact over what were essentially harmless interactions from Kiara's end really does indicate that the writers didn't mind taking potshots at her whenever they felt like it. Like I've said before, the trashfire that was Kiara's treatment in TRR3 didn't develop overnight.
Smart, Skilled...Disliked?: Kiara and the Writing Team in TRR3
On 25th Sept 2023, PB released a two-chapter series on Storyloom called "Choices Secrets", which involved at least three writers (Andrew, Kara and Chelsa) talking about ideas and plots and backstories that didn't make it to the released book. In one section, Kara Loo speaks specifically about the ending of TRR2:
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According to this account, the original idea was to kill off Olivia and possibly use that as a segue into the Nevrakis plot of the book, since her aunt and Justin were the real villains at the end of the series. When they decided to keep her alive in the series, Kara mentions finding "more members of your group get injured, like Drake".
Interestingly, Kara referred to "members" in the plural, and Drake is the only person from the core group to get shot. So it's just as possible that the choice to have Bastien, Justin/Anton and Kiara sustain injuries, was made once they decided to do away with the storyline about Olivia's death.
Olivia got spared because her writers cared for her. Kiara was likely one of the people injured in her stead, and probably the only one out of them (except for the one who was the main villain) who wasn't getting a prominent scene that focused on her being a survivor of the attack until some readers protested (the entire intro of TRR3 was dedicated to Drake recieving tender care from the MC, Bastien gets showered with concern and care from Constantine, Liam and optionally the MC. The MC comes to the estate, makes a perfunctory mention of the injury once and proceeds to emotionally blackmail Kiara into joining the tour. Let's not even talk about Lythikos. That shit warranted its own essay). No matter how much you downplay the situation, the truth is that Kiara got grievously hurt in a terrorist attack and her writers didn't think it was important enough to address.
I often wondered in the beginning, why Kiara was chosen for this. A close friend at the time theorized that perhaps it was done to ensure Madeleine would become our press secretary, because there was no way the MC would be considering her for this position if someone less hostile (like Kiara) was around. Another wondered if we might get opportunities to address palace security through the experiences of the survivors. Being a Drake x Kiara supporter at least by the end of TRR2, I wondered whether it was a coincidence that they both were injured at the same ball, and the possibility of the two bonding over such a painful experience.
Well. Boy was I about to be disappointed.
Because why did Kiara have to be so badly injured, if it was going to amount to nothing? If they weren't even going to address it in her own home? If - after even players who didn't care much for her, noticed the silence around that attack - the best you could offer was a scene that followed the MC and her friends suspecting the victim of this attack??
Had I looked at Kiara's narrative treatment (from TRR1 onwards) closer back then, perhaps I wouldn't have expected so much. It would have occurred to me that maybe they hurt Kiara the most, because they cared for her the least. Kiara is viewed as smart, poised, talented. Madeleine even calls her "one of the more competant courtiers" at some point. But that doesn't always mean that the team that writes her deems her worthy of respect.
For one, the writers tend to lean more into fandom perceptions of her in this book, rather than looking at their own canon. Kiara being a snob is not canon - that is ridiculous considering that she was such good friends with Savannah, and her support of the MC when she fits in well. Kiara acting like her linguistic skill makes her better than anyone else isn't canon either - nor is she obliged to speak in all ten languages on a loop just for the MC's or Maxwell Beaumont's entertainment. Kiara being perpetually mean to her best friend is inaccurate at best - she is often frustrated by Penelope, sure, but she spends far time and energy helping her than anyone else in that court.
Yet the narrative gives both these statements as dialogue options for the MC, where she can bitch about Kiara...but somehow only ever allows the same MC to be nice and caring and loving to Penelope - never once reminding her of the hell she'd put the MC through in the past. And because the fandom expected the Kiara-Penelope friendship to focus only on Penelope, PB got away with having Kiara's "best friend" stay conveniently silent as the MC berated her in her own home. The narrative even threw Kiara under the bus in TRR3 Ch 16, in order to make Madeleine look better in Hana's memories of the TRR2 bachelorette, claiming falsely that Kiara shouted at Penelope so much while drunk, that the latter was brought to tears. There is way more energy spent in painting an inaccurate and negative portrait of Kiara, than there is in showing the truth.
For another, the way the courtiers' and their parents' agreement to join the tour is coded...is extremely suspicious. When you compare both a successful and a failplay, you will find that all the parents have the chance to reject the MC's proposal to join the tour...except for one. Kiara's father, Hakim. In a failplay where you purposely do all the wrong things...out of the entire group of people who are still doubtful about supporting you, only Kiara and Hakim join your tour by default, without any expectation of a reward (Madeleine demands her own department after the wedding). They will be a part of it no matter what you do, no matter your failures, no matter how badly you treat them.
Hakim may have joined mainly to confront his old friend the King, but he still stays on even after Constantine dies. The writers made sure to branch-code things in a way that Kiara and Hakim could never drop out even if the MC was awful to Kiara, and never once acknowledged what it must take for them to do that. After Kiara herself had been fucking stabbed!!!!
Joelle, Kiara's mother, and Ezekiel, Kiara's brother, can reject the offer if they aren't impressed with the MC, but out of these two characters only one is viewed with respect - the one they were going to pair up with Penelope.
The narrative doesn't mind letting the MC mock Joelle for her passionate support of the arts if she doesn't win her approval, and her insistence that it is the sign of a thriving kingdom...and they make her sound petulant and churlish in response to that mockery. This despite the fact that in a successful route, she says one of the most profound political statements in the books:
"Hakim and I don't just want Cordonia to remain stable and peaceful. Those are blessings, naturallement, but our kingdom can do so much more than just survive."
In contrast, when you look at the same failplay, Emmeline and Landon are treated with far more respect from the narrative, even though Hakim and Joelle's plans for the country would benefit Cordonia as a whole. Drake looks up to Penelope's parents as an inspiration, especially if he's going to become a duke. Meanwhile Hakim actually acknowledges Drake and his bravery in a way that none of the other dukes and duchesses did, and Drake never gives a shit.
Emmeline can accuse the MC of not taking their situation seriously, if she does a bad job at the polo match, and the MC only has the grace to look contrite rather than lash out at her. Landon himself is never judged for coddling his daughter the way he does. Their focus on Portavira rather than the country is respected, and the MC not meeting their demands is viewed as her weakness, not an overreaction from their end. They never get the snarky responses Joelle gets, where the MC can outright call her "a handful" in front of her own husband.
And then there is the matter of how PB deals with the problems of all the court ladies.
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(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel)
The period of the Unity Tour isn't exactly an easy time for anyone. The LIs each deal with their own shit, and the ladies of the court themselves have their own reasons for being reluctant to return. The entire point of this tour is to address their specific concerns as well as that of their families', because without the courtiers themselves we wouldn't have as strong a court.
In Madeleine's case, we have to talk to her through a diamond scene and then educate her mother on her ways of mourning lost opportunities, among other things. In Penelope's case we are required to give her complete protection and emotional security, for her to even bother joining the tour (there is branch coding where she can refuse to be a part of the tour at all). Even for Olivia - who is already an ally - the diamond scene encourages us to stand up to her aunt, by letting Olivia know that it is valid for her to lean on others for support without being considered weak.
But for Kiara? The best we can come up with, while in her duchy, is some version of - "You're smart. You'd know that if you left now, people will say bad things about Cordonia and then it would be your fault". You either manipulate her, or insult her as being a useless excuse of a diplomat. As I mentioned in another essay, Kiara's comfort is a non-factor. The gap between the care we were expected to give to Madeleine and Penelope, and what we deign to give Kiara in Castelserraillan (which is...well...nothing), is massive. And this gap would only increase - not reduce - in the books to come.
It might seem a bit irrelevant to talk about this, especially when this essay is about Drake and Kiara. But it's important to take note of this inherent disdain the writers had towards this one character - and people close to her. Because it is only too easy to pretend that the writers "got scared of the crazy stans".
Of course the stans had a huge, huge role in this. Of course their vitriol and racism succeeded in bringing about (what I consider) one of the most disgusting dialogue options in this series...or perhaps in any series. But I doubt those "crazy stans" would have gotten this far, without a team that didn't mind being cruel to Kiara.
When the Fandom and Canon are both Heartless: Drake and Kiara in TRR3
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As I've mentioned in previous essays in this series, playthrough divergences truly begin in TRR3 (eg. While the playthroughs acknowledge who you chose as endgame by end-TRR2, you can still access diamond scenes through a small tweak that allows you to romance other LIs). And whichever LI didn't get engaged with the MC had indications of a new romantic possibility coming up. These were scenes you wouldn't find in your own playthrough with that LI as your fiancƩ/e.
Kiara doesn't appear in TRR3 until Ch 7, when the entourage comes to her estate Castelserraillan. There aren't a lot of Drake and Kiara scenes themselves, and I will get into why, section by section.
1. Kiara Greets the Group at Castelserraillan (TRR3 Ch 7)
Many Drake stans - once they found their MCs engaged to Drake in TRR2 - seemed to be practically giddy at the prospect of showing off their newly-engaged status to Kiara, and hurting her through the news. They were perhaps more excited about this than their upcoming wedding.
Well, they got that chance in Ch 7. In every other playthrough, she still holds the same feelings for Drake, and compliments his suit as Drake awkwardly fails to meet her eye. In his specific playthrough, Drake defiantly shows off his relationship with the MC, and Kiara shows a slight wistfulness before she forces herself to be normal then wishes the happy couple well. You'd think that would be enough to satisfy the stans who had been baying for her blood all of the previous book.
A throwaway line about Drake knowing where Kiara's room was, had already raised the heckles of a whole bunch of his stans. Kiara's "wistful look" in her first TRR3 scene somehow added fuel to that fire. Suddenly, you got to see a raging torrent of posts demanding to know if Drake had had an affair with Kiara. Fanfic had already been written about Drake cheating on the MC with Kiara by this point - and some of those headcanons and fanfic hinged on making Drake the innocent/vulnerable one, taken advantage of by this sexy, obsessed woman who would be either a danger to him or would be juxtaposed with the "pure", "virginal", "perfect" MC. Drake would never be the problem here, and none of the stans screaming over the possibility of Drake sleeping with Kiara would dream of blaming him for it. No, Kiara was predatory, Kiara was obsessed, if anything happened between them it would be likely Kiara's fault.
This is where it's important to note, again, that none of the more obvious signs of the "Jezebel" stereotype seem to be used in canon for Kiara. While cruel in her own way, the TRR MC doesn't exactly slut shame her or believe Drake will be unfaithful to her, Kiara isn't accused of seducing (or even trying to seduce) anyone, and she actually places respectful personal boundaries for herself in her attraction to Drake, that she never crosses. She may indulge in a light flirtation with him, try to impress him or simply talk to him - but you will never catch her forcing her sexual attention on him like Olivia did with Liam. Yet in popular fanlore, even Olivia's feelings were often cast in a far more noble light in contrast to Kiara's.
In her essay, The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII, Dr Shannon. L Holland explores the historical and contemporary uses of the Jezebel stereotype in depictions of Black women in popular culture and discourse, especially in contrast to white masculinity (which in these contexts, is often viewed as innocent and blameless - and much of the blame lies with the Jezebel figure). The "Jezebel" stereotype "has come to symbolize both a malign, cunning sexual object and an autonomous, liberated sexual agent" - she is at once an independent sexual being making her own choices, and someone who is "incapable" of reining in her sexual appetite...and is therefore often depicted as not only a threat to the "purer" (and often "whiter" or "lighter skinned") woman, but also dangerous for whoever she is "obsessed" with. And we see this time and again in the discourse around Kiara - the fanfic that depicts her in a range of scenarios (stalker, obsessed lover, abusive girlfriend who will break a bottle over Drake's head, at times even descending into murderer to get the man she wants). Which is how we wound up in a position where Kiara even breathing the same air as Drake was viewed as a threat.
It didn't matter that he was flaunting his love for the Drake MC in that playthrough to send a message to Kiara, or that he stayed silent with the others as his wife badgered her into joining the tour. It didn't even matter that Kiara never got a diamond scene the way the two other women did, despite being the most harmed among the ladies. What mattered was that Kiara existed. Her damn existence was the threat.
2. Cheering for Drake's Victory (Ch 10)
Ch 9 of TRR3 was released to players on April 27th, 2018. Immediately after, a mid-book hiatus was announced, mostly to work on some new art (very possibly the red pandas), work on the wedding, and make changes (such as shifting diamond scenes from character-centric ones to LI specific - they'd already started making changes to LI diamond scenes). The book would return 2 months later, in June.
In a livestream before the hiatus ended, the writers had made it very painfully clear that Kiara's feelings for Drake was one-sided. And by that I mean they really emphasized on the one-sidedness of her affection, almost as if to reassure the panicking stans. This would manifest in any future interactions between the two - both in Drake's single and engaged playthroughs - and any hope that such a pairing would even be hinted at was over. But there was one variation that the team had perhaps neglected to edit out.
A small one-word depiction of Kiara cheering Drake when he wins his duel against Neville, joining his friends to praise him. It really isn't much - just Kiara saying "bravo!" before Savannah rushes up to hug him, which is replaced by a scene of Drake himself going up to the MC and passionately kissing her in his own playthrough. What is definitely striking about this depiction is that Kiara was clubbed with his close friends and his sister, rather than the second group of people that largely represented the larger court (Rashad and Queen Regina) who offer their congratulations.
Given the way the writers wrote any remaining interactions between Drake and Kiara, and the fact that this small appearance doesn't really amount to anything, it is possible that this variation was part of an earlier draft that involved other hints, that the writers failed to notice when they put up Ch 10. If they had, I'm pretty certain it wouldn't have stayed in the book.
3. Leaving Court + Wedding Conversations
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Remember how I kept stating in this essay that the narrative was going to take their enthusiastic pandering of the "possessive stans" end of the fandom, to some dark, disturbing places? Well, here we are.
Tbh, the writers could have just stopped showing any interactions between the two, or given Kiara another boyfriend if their aim was simply to show that Drake and Kiara would never be endgame. They had done that with Maxwell and Penelope already...oh. I forgot. They actually wanted us to care for Penelope.
Up until this point, Drake's mean streak re: Kiara was present, but not really as obvious as it gets here. PB takes that cruelty several steps further in these two chapters, starting with Ch 11. Ch 11 was fanservice to the people who shouted abuses and "joked" about killing Kiara in every chance they could get. Ch 12 showed this sentiment at its worst, covered it up with enough fluff so it would be harder for people who liked Kiara to notice...and let those players get away with it.
In Ch 11, Kiara approaches the MC and her group to inform them that she is withdrawing from the tour. Drake is the first to respond to this, remaking at the suddenness of the departure. The MC can speculate on a couple of things, ranging from sympathy (that she might be afraid), selfishness (that she is "bailing out" on the MC) and suspicion (that she is hiding something).
In all three options, a pensive Hana expresses sympathy and encourages the group to "reach out". In all three options, Drake will only view Kiara as a suspect.
Mind you - according to Ch 12, Drake is saying this knowing Kiara was injured at Homecoming Ball...and knowing exactly which weapon she was injured with. Aware that she has gone through an event as traumatic as that (if we go by his "just one step at a time" monologue to Kiara), better aware than most how it would feel...he still opts to act like her motives should be suspicious.
This is further emphasized in the Drake playthrough, through the armory scene that the MC takes with Maxwell.
As I've mentioned in the post on this scene, it is divided into three halves. The first half deals with whoever the MC rejected (either Liam, or Drake in Liam's playthrough). The third is buildup to Lucretia's plans to usurp the throne. The second is supposed to be about the excitement among the members of the court for the wedding, and of course as the only people who come for the tour by default (and Madeleine is already taken for the first scene), Kiara and Hakim are used for this scene!
I will only focus on the Drake version of this scene today. There are a few things you notice straight off the bat:
1. Since this is Drake's playthrough, the narrative seems to do away completely with any lingering feelings Kiara may have had are done away with. In this scene she is quite happy about Drake's wedding - in fact, practically chipper. Literally nothing about her behaviour here serves as a reminder that she once had feelings for him.
2. Drake's response to Kiara attending his wedding ties in pretty well with his earlier default suspicion of her. Unlike Hana who is surprised but also happy that Kiara is attending, he seems to voice it as a doubt or a question. While that makes sense and there is continuity, it's pretty awful that he is allowed to suspect her like this and feel no remorse when the truth about her is revealed.
3. Now as I said in the post, this scene is meant to be a buildup to Drake's ice-palace scene. He speaks about wanting a private, country-style wedding in a natural place there, and Kiara's gentle teasing in this scene is supposed to be an indicator of how much he dislikes the usual fanfare. Okay. Fair enough. You're uncomfortable with the fancy decorations and the insane planning, fine.
4. But it's Drake's attitude towards Kiara in this scene that leaves a bad taste in the mouth (unless you were one of those Drake stans that liked to threaten murder on this character ig). The narrative really went out of their way to make him sound uncommonly angry with her, just for asking about his wedding. He angrily hisses at her to keep her voice down the moment she asks about the wedding, and then lashes out the moment she teases him about his love for the MC and his reluctance to be very public about it in that context. Of course, people who either liked Drake or hated Kiara would downplay this scene - either blaming Kiara for not magically knowing his likes or dislikes, or acting like Drake's behaviour in this scene is no big deal.
And his explanation in the ice palace scene really doesn't cut it as a reason for why he should be this pissed off at Kiara's excitement. There is no real bitterness or resentment tied in with the fancy trappings that are mentioned in that specific scene - it's just that he likes simplicity better. If Kiara doesn't know him well enough to understand that - it's because he has never properly talked to her. She made attempts to converse whenever she could. You can claim he never owed her a conversation - but in that case she doesn't owe him a complete understanding of his wants either. He could have just politely answered the question and changed the subject, or quickly took his leave.
He is well-versed enough in court etiquette by this point that he could have managed to sound civil enough. That he could have made a quick, polite exit. But no, he gave her the kind of anger that one reserves for someone who is kicking a puppy or stealing candy from a child, instead. And it was Kiara's grace that allowed her to view that awful behaviour in a more positive light.
It's pretty clear this scene - and to some extent the framing of the next - was made specifically for those Drake stans who were screaming and throwing tantrums about a possible affair. It was to highlight that there was no way Drake could ever return Kiara's feelings - and the only way they could do that was by making sure he treated her as rudely and inhumanely as possible.
I didn't think it could get any worse than this, when I saw this version of the scene...but then I saw Ch 12.
The Talk
If you were to speak just about fandom reactions to this scene...the responses to Kiara chronicling her trauma after Homecoming Ball, were pretty positive. Plenty chose the middle option "You're suffering from the trauma of the event. You need help", and cooed over Drake's touching little monologue about "taking it one day at a time".
I admit at the time I was fooled too. But one thing did niggle at me as I played both this option, and the "understandably cautious" one (I would later understand that the latter was not very good either - it has a thin veneer of "validating" Kiara's feelings, but it still has the MC and Drake expecting her to put their needs before her own safety and sanity).
Drake was reassuring to an extent in both options, sure. But why were his responses so different? Why was his answer to Kiara so closely tied to whatever point the MC was making, rather than independent of it? After all, he was the one who should be able to better relate to Kiara - wouldn't he have thoughts of his own here? If the MC chose that horrible final option, Drake would correct her and comfort Kiara instead, wouldn't he? Wouldn't he???
It was only when I (reluctantly) pressed that third option ("not as driven as I thought you were") that I understood what Drake's role in this scene was.
He wasn't going to be there for Kiara. He wasn't even sympathetic to her! It wasn't even going to be about two traumatized people connecting over their trauma. Drake was a puppet. He was there to parrot whatever garbage came out of the MC's mouth.
Because in the third - and most horrific - option, the MC is allowed to minimize Kiara's trauma, and mock her ambitions in the face of what she has just gone through. Drake is allowed to agree with her ("sometimes ambassadors have to work in dangerous areas"). Kiara is forced by the same narrative to find value in these words.
And all of this, stems from a scenario where Drake and the MC go in suspecting this woman from the jump. Where Maxwell is happy to make jokes about her being a suspect. Where the only two decent people in this group - Liam and Hana - are conveniently written out of the scene, ensuring that these ghouls can act the way they want around Kiara, and get away with it.
Not once is Kiara herself ever allowed to know that the group suspected her by default, nor is she allowed to go through with her intention to leave court. The very roots of this scene are rotten.
Very often, when this scene in particular is addressed, not many people actually address Drake's behaviour here - or in the previous chapter. Stans will vaguely, and conveniently, blame the group as a whole rather than their favourites. Such a tactic allows them to never name the specific people or specific actions, and therefore the main people involved in speaking to Kiara the way they did never have to be held accountable. This is particularly relevant in the case of Drake.
It was Drake's idea to interrogate her. He was the one constantly harping about her "suspicious behaviour". He was the one aware of what happened to her yet chose to think of her as shady. He was the one who should have known better, yet was absolutely game to minimize her trauma or engage in emotional blackmail. And neither he nor the MC came out of this conversation feeling anything resembling remorse. Because, apparently, they never did anything wrong.
They got what they wanted. At best, Drake and the MC manipulated this woman (again) into returning to their court. At worst, they badgered and bullied her into that decision. Either way, she was going to return, and the narrative was going to pretend that the MC and Drake were great people for making it happen.
I have heard some justifications over the years for Drake's behaviour here. One is that he "tends to act like an asshole to everyone". Another is that Kiara is a noble so he was never going to see her in a positive light. Which is hilarious to me, honestly, because in the same book you have Drake reassure Penelope - the woman who had made the MC the target of a reputation-ending scandal - and comfort her when she sees Madeleine. If this was really about the chip on the shoulder he had for nobility, why was he so kind to Penelope? And if Penelope's mental health warranted a change in mindset and behaviour from Drake's end, why was Kiara not worthy of that as well?
The truth is this. Drake was allowed to express his mean streak to a black woman, bully a black woman (the pranks), lash out at a black woman (the conversation at the Lythikos Ball), suspect a black woman, and finally minimize her trauma if the Duchess he had a crush on wanted to. While being overly protective and chivalrous to the white woman who actually did harm her. No matter what way you spin it, that is what Drake's behaviour - especially in TRR3 - is.
The way the team trampled over this "pairing" post that miniscule hint in TRR3 Ch 7, would make a rampaging elephant look like a ballerina in comparison. They wanted to make it clear after the hiatus that Drake x Kiara would never happen, in any eventuality, in any future, in any universe. And no matter how much we pin this on "crazy stans" (who do hold some responsibility for sure, for their own veiled racism), it's a fact that the writing team was comfortable doing this. They had already found other ways to pile disrespect on their sole recurring black female character - what was a little more?
TRH and Beyond: Taking Away What Was Left of Kiara's Remaining Fanbase
Given all the narrative back-and-forth and shadiness, I'd have to say the end Kiara got in TRR3 was comparatively...decent. Not great...not exactly satisfying...decent.
Her fighting off the assassins at the boutique ("not again...not again!!") was the highlight of that scene. In Hana's playthrough, Kiara was her MOH by default, and the lines the MC could give if you chose her in other playthroughs was pretty sweet. At the end of the book, her father would make Kiara his heir, after her older brother Ezekiel abdicated. There were still things I was always going to hate (such as the fact that we could lie about "having Kiara's back" - we absolutely did not) about the aftermath, but all in all as a fan...I could maybe envision a fairly happy ending for her with what we got.
The next series, The Royal Heir, would debut on June 2019, almost a year after TRR3's own debut. This would be the first series that would go completely LI-divergent, spanning four books. It started out as an attempt to envision the future (and pasts) of the main characters, as well as tie loose ends...but descended into an incoherent, retconning mess with each book.
Kiara doesn't feature much in Book 1, but is pretty prominent in certain chapters like Ch 7 (Savannah's bachelorette), Savannah's wedding, and the Apple Ball in the finale. You'll often find a marked difference between the way she is looked at for most of the book, and how the MC speaks to her in TRH1's finale.
Savannah's bachelorette, for instance, features all the ladies of the court in Texas, with new "country" looks and engaging with Texan culture. Here, too, you see a sign of PB leaning into popular perceptions of Kiara rather than remembering their own writing, when we see how Savannah praises the MC by default but has very little to say about her former friend Kiara. Since Savannah's return to court in TRR3, the team seemed to have forgotten that other ladies of the court weren't very nice to her, and Kiara was the only one concerned for her. They have Olivia act sweet and caring towards Savannah in both TRR3 Ch 17 and TRH1 Ch 7, conveniently forgetting the insults she piled upon Drake's sister in the first book. Savannah never has to talk about Kiara's friendship at all, other than a teasing comment hinting at her French lessons. Savannah was never expected to have any gratitude or affection towards Kiara even though she was the only woman who cared about her in court before she left.
An interesting thing to note in the diamond scene of the bachelorette is the way the courtly ladies' previous/current "romances" are framed. Kiara's, in particular, warrants a lot of discussion. Unlike Olivia (who can address her feelings for Liam regardless of playthrough, if asked, and can actually show some level of resentment towards him for not picking her), Kiara's feelings are addressed only if the MC isn't married to Drake. If she is, Kiara mentions a fondness for "rugged, down-to-earth men" (which the MC and Penelope perceive to mean hunky and muscular), and avoids mentioning his name at all.
There are two very interesting things to note about this sequence. One is the pattern of how, and how far, are Olivia and Kiara are allowed to address their feelings for these men. Not only is Olivia allowed to be open about her feelings and her bitterness (despite Liam actually romancing her in TRR3!), the narrative demands our respect for her position and plight. The Liam MC lauds her honesty and her decision to move ahead, unfazed even by her anger for something Liam didn't even owe her. In contrast, in the Drake playthrough, the writing makes sure Kiara never mentions him by name. And not only that, when the MC and Penelope tease her about her romantic preference, she is shown to stammer and seems downright afraid of the MC.
The fact that there is such a gap in how Olivia and Kiara are allowed to act about the men they love, and the fact that this gap was normalized so much in fandom discourse that it didn't even warrant a discussion, tells us plenty about the fandom too. The fandom position has almost always been that Liam owes Olivia love, appreciation, kindness. And that Drake owes Kiara nothing, not even common human decency. Which is why the fandom wants Liam punished for the high crime of not loving Olivia back. Which is why Drake is allowed to treat Kiara like an irritating pest at his best, and like utter garbage at his worst...and almost no one so much as bats an eyelid.
Since most of the story of TRH1 seemed to revolve around the ranch, the ladies of the court made minimal appearances and most of those were in keeping with patterns established in TRR3 (except for maybe Olivia's spy scenes). Some of their parents - too - feature in Royal Council scenes: Godfrey and Landon are part of this council and are seen during the MC's announcement - no one from Kiara's family, besides her brother Ezekiel who is dating Penelope, make any appearances in this book. Towards the end of the book, however, you suddenly find a scene or two where the narrative is suddenly, and inexplicably, syrupy sweet to Kiara:
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(Screenshots from the Skylia YouTube Channel. 1-5 are from Ch 18, during the council meeting. 7-10 are also from Ch 18, at the start of the ball. The last two are from the finale as buildup for the pregnancy photoshoot)
There are indications of Kiara's diplomacy and good advice in other parts of the book too (such as her suggestions for dealing with the foreign royals at the baby shower) but never were the praise and compliments as obvious as they were in the last two chapters of TRH1. Kiara was given a quippy dialogue to spout at Godfrey, who would later be revealed as the murderer of Queen Eleanor. All three of the MC's dialogue options in response would praise Kiara by default (a rarity). King Bradshaw would shower her with compliments too about her talent and expertise. And when Kiara approached us with an offer for a pregnancy photoshoot, the MC could cheerfully say "for you, Kiara? Of course!" as if they'd been bffs from the beginning.
There isn't any obvious reason why we saw this sudden change, but I can make an educated guess or two. A pattern that commonly emerges with attempts to address something that would benefit Kiara, is that the writers often only do it when enough people complain; that was how we got the horrible Lythikos sequence. Midway through TRH1, I managed to put up an essay exploring Kiara's treatment (centered around the Lythikos sequence in TRR3 Ch 12) in comparison to Penelope's and Madeleine's. It did not receive an immediate fandom wide response, but several readers did come away from that essay feeling like Kiara really got the short end of the stick, compared to all the other court ladies. I'm not sure whether that essay had a direct impact, but those three scenes PB added to the finale chapters do make me wonder. Was the team trying to prove to the fandom that they did like Kiara and wouldn't personally sabotage her, either for their own enjoyment or to pander to a section of the fandom?
If they did, then that plan didn't last beyond these two chapters.
Another possibility of course was to give Kiara something slightly positive before they did her dirty - again - in TRH2 and 3. Because in those two books, they managed to first make her - along with the rest of the council - party to a vote (that everyone was involved in, including the LIs!) that would later prove detrimental for the country. They would then have her be the only heir involved in the notorious Coventus Nobilis, which ensured that anyone who wanted to hate Kiara could tie her to her vote in favour of Bartie Sr, without ever asking any further questions. This was a far more successful attempt, because most of the fandom already believed the misconceptions of Kiara's characterization to be truth, and these storylines simply added fuel to the fire.
Kiara's biggest supporters tended to be a section of the Liam fandom, as well as wlw stans who tended to like most of the courtly women. Having her vote for Bartie at the end of TRH2, and her explanations in TRH3 about the "MC's ruling style" (which was really canon's way of making sure she did more a silent diss on Liam) was written specifically to place a serious dent among her fans who liked Liam. And sadly, it worked in part. Because even if one considered Kiara's thoughts on "reactive ruling" accurate, it was a fact that the nobility (she included) would have to be blaming Liam for something that the entire Council voted for, and that Liam and his friends fixed on their own.
Making Kiara the lone person to voice this argument, made her a target in this fandom. I mean, people were ready to praise Madeleine and speak of her as loyal (eagerly ignoring that she was actively involved in the child's kidnapping if you didn't coddle her enough), and badmouth Kiara in the same breath, claiming that Kiara wasn't worth forgiving and people should just get over Madeleine's deeds in the past.
This resurgence of hate didn't just erupt out of nowhere. Once they finished spending two chapters on two-second compliments to Kiara, PB reverted in the next two books to some of their usual patterns with her. For instance, remember how I mentioned that PB had an obsession with never letting Kiara and Liam interact? In TRH, they repeated this pattern, but with the Heir. The only scene Kiara has where she can so much as touch the heir is in the last part of TRH3, if you choose for Kiara to read to her. Penelope is regularly allowed to hold her even though she has often placed this child in dangerous situations (on one occasion, Kiara herself had to stop her) - even Madeleine is given an entire babysitting scene to win her favour. But Kiara is the only lady of the court who is made to stay away or care for the child from a distance.
Kiara's family (besides Zeke, and just because he is Penelope's fiance/husband) is subject to disrespect in this book too. Hakim and Joelle were both conspicuously absent from the pregnancy announcement presscon in TRH1 (where Landon, Godfrey and Bartie Sr somehow featured!!), and future books would either retcon the family or force them to do things the other families didn't have to do. In TRH2, the MC takes a tour of the Great Houses with her newborn daughter, and each house is expected to pledge loyalty to her and the crown in different ways. Hakim is written as "bending to his knees" for the child. This is something only Adeleide and Madeleine - whose house, might I remind you, are considered the house of traitors at this point - have to do. Landon and Emmeline are never expected to express their loyalty to this extent.
In TRH3, the narrative callously pushes the Therons under the bus to make the Ebrim family's reluctance to help the MC make sense - the Therons are now "traditionalists" who frown upon scandals and may not allow Zeke to marry Penelope on the account of her past annulled marriage (this makes no sense when you take a closer look at the Therons themselves in TRR3 - they're a far more balanced, far more progressive family than any of the other Great Houses. They even took Zeke's abdication well!). Furthermore, you'll notice that the framing of Penelope's past with Guy is worlds apart from the disdain the narrative shows for the Therons during the flower festival. It is notable that in the latter, the black women are depicted very negatively - Kiara is shown unable to manage her own competition, Joelle is depicted as pompous and incapable of losing gracefully, Drake gets to take sarcastic potshots at Lerato for trying to charm the MC into voting for her and Drake into convincing her to vote. Meanwhile white people like Landon and Marguerite are presented in a just as humourous but less mocking light (eg. Landon moving his table courteously before flipping it in the flashback).
Even into TRF (Ch12), the narrative gives us choices where we can stand up to people criticizing Landon and Emmeline's parenting ("Duke Landon and his wife raised a kind, generous daughter..."). We are allowed to be far less critical of the Ebrims overall, we are allowed to be more charitable even in the dialogue options for suspecting Landon than we are of Kiara (think of how Maxwell can suspect that Kiara was planning to betray us all along). At the end of the Flower Festival, Kiara is made to appear contrite as the MC can choose to either demand she make this right before the latter can forgive her, or indicate that she never will. Ironically, a Penelope who can choose her fancy wedding over the safety of the MC's child never has to face words that harsh.
You will also notice if you look more closely, that the narrative continues to frame events surrounding Penelope and Kiara in opposing ways. Penelope is perpetually viewed as a victim, and Kiara constantly as a suspect.
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We are expected to support Penelope, and to mistrust Kiara. And even though Kiara's feelings had long since become a thing of the past, Drake still maintains his animosity towards her and her family. And like everything else, it is so normalized at this point that you barely even notice it anymore.
In TRH2, Drake is allowed to tar all nobles with the same brush because of Godfrey's actions. Though his statement about the nobility ("We can't trust any of them to have Liam's back...not unless it's in their own selfish interests") is about the entire nobility, it is striking that he says this just before they go to Castelserraillan. The Therons are also the only noble family that Drake makes sarcastic comments about (in reference to Liam informing us that their province is a trade hub, Drake quips that "they are going to want to trade babies with us"). These snide comments he rarely makes about other noble families, and serves as a sharp contrast to how he treats the Ebrims (during Penelope's wedding festivities, he is unnaturally invested in Penelope getting a happy ending with Ezekiel). We can't even claim that his behaviour towards Kiara is in line with his disdain for nobles, because Penelope is proof that he is perfectly capable of showing compassion to most of them!
TRH3 ends with Kiara doing an apology tour of sorts - diplomatic missions aimed at improving Cordonia's international relations. TRF finds almost all the ladies of the court - even Olivia - in very minimal roles, as the focus shifts to the Via Imperii. Still, the narrative makes more references to Penelope than to Kiara, to the extent that the epilogue ends on both the MC and Penelope celebrating their pregnancies (Penelope's first and the MC's second) together.
Overall, you will find that the narrative repeated certain patterns with Kiara - the tendency to find her suspicious, purposely limiting scenes with important characters like Liam (TRR) and the heir (TRH) while the white courtiers get almost unlimited access, the discrepancies in expectations for her vs other ladies (eg. Madeleine is hailed for being "good" even though that is solely dependent on how you treat her. Kiara is largely ignored whenever she does help, and attacked when she is written to support the enemy). Drake - even as a former alternative to her, who should have gotten over whatever nonsense beef he'd had with her earlier - is allowed to make snide remarks about her home and family.
It's pretty clear they could do this because they could get away with it... because most of the fandom made it so easy for them to get away with it.
Fandom
When I look back at how the perception of Kiara in the fandom progressed over the years, I find it half-amusing, half-sad how much of it is rooted more in fanlore, and how little in actual fact. And this is something you couldn't just pin on "crazy Drake stans" - they were the biggest promoters of these lies and misconceptions, sure, but normally analytical, commonsense readers often believed that Kiara was fake and a snob and awful to Penelope too.
I get some of it, given the timing of Kiara and Penelope's scene at the beginning of TRR2. It takes place at a low point in the MC's story, a time when she isn't even sure the LIs want to support her. Coupled with that is the lasting image of Penelope hugging you and complaining about Madeleine, making you feel like she's more willing to give you a sliver of solidarity. Coupled with that, is Olivia's newfound popularity in the fandom - once she emerges in Ch 5 of that book, fans believed they found their wildcard who would stand by them in complete solidarity among the ladies of the court (did they ignore Hana's already massive contributions to the investigation? Yes they did. Yes they did). Madeleine herself is shown giving quotable quotes about female solidarity and Tariq's guilt in TRR2 Ch 7, which - coupled with Justin's high praise of her - made people want to find things to like about her too. Penelope's own betrayal was overshadowed by an expectation to support a person with serious mental health struggles.
Kiara's the only one who doesn't get such backstories or explanations. So at least in the heat of the moment, in reading those chapters between weekly gaps, it makes sense that a false impression of her got somewhat solidified.
But when you build your interpretations out of lies and misinterpretations, how does it become so valid that even the writers bend to it and prefer to show that?
Every fandom has its "crazy stans". And this instance wouldn't be the first or last time they are pandered to. But when the same stans get backed up by the "saner", more commonsense members of fandom; when even neutral readers promote versions of a story without actually looking at the scenes in question - that's when a fandom is in danger of turning a "headcanon" into canon.
Kiara being a horrible friend to Penelope wasn't canon. Kiara being a snob was not canon. Kiara being creepy towards Drake wasn't canon either. Especially when you take the fandom response to Olivia's forced kiss on Liam into account.
And that brings me to another point. I had been asked once why I felt the need to compare Kiara to the other ladies in my defenses of her. It's important, when we speak of the kind of hate Kiara received, to understand how a lot of flaws that the entire court has (eg classism) is often pinned onto a lone person, and how several white female characters could get away with worse behaviour while Kiara alone was slammed for harmless interactions.
This is most apparent when you look at how Olivia's violation of Liam's consent is perceived, vs Kiara's harmless flirtation with Drake in TRR2. Which woman had fans foaming at the mouth and wanting to kill her? Which woman was given dozens and dozens of fanfic and content that depicted her as creepy, desperate, downright obsessed with their man? Which woman got the "oh well, he doesn't owe her anything šŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø" vs a "he doesn't love her back?? WHAT AN INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!!1111"?
Perhaps this Olivia/Kiara comparison is where the fandom's tendency to cast Kiara into the Jezebel stereotype is the most visible. Kiara's very act of talking to Drake sometimes is registered as a threat to those stans, and it reflects in the way they speak of her, the way they speak of their MC's own relationship with Drake in association with her (eg. the number of posts rejoicing at the thought of showing off their "engaged to Drake" status at Kiara's estate), the way they're allowed to dehumanize her and villify her (eg. The edit I mentioned at the beginning). This is often encouraged by their friends who are fans of other characters, and you can see that in sharp contrast, Olivia - despite her actions in Book 1 and her resentment of Liam for not loving her back in other books - is still often viewed with sympathy and respect. Her feelings - still viewed as genuine, even pure. To the point where PB eventually allows Olivia to constantly address her feelings about the MC's and Liam's relationship, while forcing Kiara to not even utter Drake's name in his playthrough.
But you see this with other characters, and in other contexts too. Particularly how Madeleine can be duplicitous, hypocritical, and power-hungry, and it's Kiara who is called these things despite her actual honesty in canon. Madeleine can get away with actually helping Bartie Sr kidnap the MC's daughter in TRH3 without a murmur, in the same fandom where people can curse Kiara for voting for Bartie Sr "to take the child away" (despite her telling the MC and spouse that she was promised they would have custody of the child, therefore the claim that she "voted to take the child away from their parent" is inaccurate).
You saw some of these discrepancies in how Penelope and Kiara were spoken about too - Penelope's crime in TRR2 was considered easily forgiveable, while Kiara's innocence is constantly called into question. Kiara was often viewed negatively for what the fandom perceived as "meanness" to Penelope (when it was in fact Kiara worrying about how Penelope would fare when she wasn't around) while Penelope herself was never expected to be a good friend to Kiara. An interesting thing to note about the fandom response to Penelope and Kiara showed that often when posters wanted to hate on Penelope, she and Kiara would be clubbed together, almost as a unit. This was especially prevalent in TRH3. It was easy to express hatred for Kiara independently, but most posts that showed a dislike for Penelope (besides from specific Kiara stans) would often tie her with Kiara, as if there wasn't much to hate about her otherwise.
It is important to line up whatever hate Kiara gets with the responses to the other women - especially in the face of what the latter are allowed to get away with. In doing so, you get a better sense of what is allowed for a certain subset of women, and what isn't allowed or permitted for black women specifically.
Often, the fans who would not hesitate to call her alone fake, opportunistic and creepy were WOC, and there have been cases where some would use their identity as WOC to shield themselves from the criticism concerning their vitriol. It would often descend into "I don't hate her because she is black, I hate her because {insert inaccurate/false/convoluted justification here}". It didn't matter that much of this information wasn't based in fact, or had a heavy bias that they never applied to anyone else. It only mattered that because they were WOC, somehow that meant that they couldn't possibly be racist. That their unfounded hatred for Kiara had to be legitimate. As if there was no chance that someone who was WOC couldn't be antiblack too.
Overall, it is possible that the fandom did take some of their cues (for their impression of Kiara) from the inherent disdain found in canon itself. But many of them also misinterpreted several things about Kiara, then didn't bother to revisit those biases with a critical eye, or even try to see if they were wrong. And that baseless hatred fed the already-existing disdain that Kiara's own writers had towards her. Resulting in the kind of horrific, racist garbage that we got to see in TRR3, and the constant attempts in canon to pull her down in TRH.
Did Drake and Kiara Ever Have A Chance?
There have been various opinions - from both Kiara fans and haters - for why a Driara ship would never work. He hates nobles, she won't like his disdain for art and culture, he likes the simpler life, she's a snob...so on and so forth. Many people will agree it's not a great ship, but of course with differing opinions on why.
I, however, often wondered at possible scenarios where such a pairing could work. The magic of shipping is often that you can play around with personalities and pair almost anyone, and find enough reasons to explain why they would tick. And in Drake and Kiara's case, personally, I do feel like it's a complicated question to answer - primarily because I feel like the authorial intent at the beginning may have been very, very different to what finally happened in Drake's story.
A lot of Drake's early writing focused on the reasons behind his mistrust of the court and his tendency to view the people he loves who are part of it (eg. Liam and later the group) as anomalies. There are two ways you could take such a story in TRR2 - you could either get him to admit to the flaws in his own thinking (thereby providing a more nuanced insight) and allow him to grow from there, or you could just have him double down on his biases and never change beyond the superficial. The team of TRR - esp the head writers, Kara and Jen who were both v fond of him - definitely seemed to go in the latter direction.
Drake's prediction in Coney Island does indicate that he should let go of the past, and I honestly feel like the sequences where he learned about Maxwell straining House Beaumont's finances to help her, and Kiara and Savannah's friendship, could have been turning points for him if the writers weren't so obsessed with proving him right all the time - even when he was supposed to be wrong. Maxwell and Kiara, in their own ways, were proof that not every noble was the same, nor would every noble treat the commoners around them all the same way. However, the narrative trampled all over this possibility in TRR2 Ch 9, where Drake could optionally claim that the Beaumont brothers (among others) were "just looking out for themselves, no matter the consequences", or later when the narrative had Savannah be grateful to him for breaking her confidence to Bertrand, and have Maxwell try to earn his forgiveness in Ch 12 rather than the other way around. It allowed Drake to be selective about the nobles he admired or defended, while still free to treat certain others like garbage.
I could easily envision a Driara pairing for most of TRR2. I could even see it as potentially salvageable in certain parts of TRR3. But the moment they had Drake readily suspect her, the moment the team thought it would be okay for Drake to even suggest minimizing her trauma...that option was no longer worth seeing. Not for Drake, but for Kiara. Drake would have to be the worst possible guy I could find for her, in such a scenario.
But I could see potential in a storyline that had Drake understand that some of these people weren't the monsters he so desperately wanted them to be. In one where he could hear about Kiara's friendship with his sister, and learn about a whole new side of her. One where he maybe felt insecure ("I'm not her type") and could be reassured by a woman who had likely held a torch for him since they were teens/young adults. One where they could reach out to each other in their pain and trauma, and find solace. One where Drake knew that the family he may be marrying into would respect him, and his father too. There were possibilities there.
It would still take more work - his mean streak for one would need to be reduced by more than a half. A lot of it, of course, was kept for the Drake stans, but it really doesn't add much to Drake's character besides making him a mean-spirited, hypocritical bitch who only targets the lone black woman this way (and Olivia occasionally, if she goads him). If the narrative did want to keep a characterization where Drake acts weird around the girl he likes, they could - but that story would need a lot more work to be palatable.
All of this is to say that regardless of personal bias, there were possibilities there. There was a sliver of potential. And if they wanted to let go of that potential midway, they didn't have to go about that the way they finally did. They could have just worked on creating another love interest for her. They managed to create a brother for her overnight just so Penelope could have a boyfriend; they could have easily done the same for Kiara.
Multiple factors went down that explain why the Driara ship didn't take off. But many of them boil down to one specific root cause - the white women (whether they caused actual harm or not) needed to be protected, needed to be cherished. The black woman who dared to ask for the same things from their pet LI, would be viewed as a threat, a villain, a creep...just for breathing in his direction.
And her writers cared so little, that they took the fanon perception for her and stamped it onto their canon, like it was the truth.
They didn't do any of this for the woman who forced a kiss on a prominent LI. They didn't do this on the woman who betrayed the MC and set her up for assault. They didn't do this to the woman who bullied the lone female LI, and swore to continue doing so till she broke.
They did this for the one woman who was fairly innocent of most of these crimes, actually respected the LI and treated him well.
They did this because they could get away with it. Because they were confident that the fandom they wrote the story for, would let them get away with it. And tragically...they were right.
--
Resources I used to learn about the Jezebel stereotype:
The "Offending" Breast of Janet Jackson: Public Discourse Surrounding the Jackson/Timberlake Performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII by Dr Shannon Holland
Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, the Jezebel and white masculinity by Khadija Mbowe (I actually got the recommendation for the first paper from this video essay).
From Mammy to Jezebel: The Portrayal of Black Women in American Cinema from the BlackThen website
#but anywayā€¦#sorry about the length I added to this lmao#I actually wanted to write more bc I didnā€™t even get to the crazy extent to which Kiara was portrayed as dangerous and predatory to Drake#or her trauma being ignored and exploited#but as always you did an excellent job of that anyway esp as someone who knows the ins and outs of the story so well#and I basically wrote all this with that weird burst of adrenaline you get when youā€™re sleep deprived at 3 am šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€#so sorry about the rambly mess with little connection between points LOL#I just donā€™t have the energy to make it better now#but on another note something I often think about#is when I first started interacting with PB/Choices through fb#and there were people speculating about the reason for so much inconsistency and favoritism in the popular series#and I had made a comment theorizing that the writers often made changes to the stories based on fan responses#and someone from their social media team actually responded and basically said ā€˜no we donā€™t do that donā€™t believe everything you read guys#meanwhile TRR and OH book 1 already existedā€¦#not to mention all the other ā€˜too specific to be coincidenceā€™ instances in other books#like who are you trying to fool PB#and speaking of OH Aurora was one of the main characters I was thinking of when I wrote my last paragraph#but thatā€™s a whole other multi paragraph discussion šŸ’€#anyway this was a great series#I have to read some of your other essays bc I think Iā€™ve actually missed quite a few#so def looking forward to that when I have some more free time and good food in front of me šŸ˜…#long post
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tiza0925 Ā· 1 year ago
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Hi!...umm could you pls do a NSFW tanjiro x reader where reader starts to get jealous of kanao bcos kanao has started to gain feeling for tanjiro and has been trying to get close with him but she doesn't know that reader and tanjiro are secretly dating so reader ends up distancing herself from everyone and when tanjiro confronts reader they end up in a mating press+overstimulation and a bit breeding kink šŸ˜³
(Pls don't get me wrong I luv Kanao but I haven't seen any fanfictions like this and I'm sorry if this request is too much)šŸ˜…
Take care šŸ˜Š
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only you | 18+
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Warnings/Tags: nsfw, explicit sexual content, jealous!reader, afab/female reader, unprotected sex, mating press, creampie, breeding kink, reassurance, Tanjiro loves you so much, multiple orgasms (implied), overstimulation, soft!dom Tanjiro, ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS ARE AGED UP AND OVER 18 YEARS-OLD
Pairing: Tanjiro Kamado x Female Reader
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
You feel two thick fingers shove inside your mouth, the fingertips hooking onto your bottom teeth to pull your head forward to look into sinful red eyes.Ā 
You blink blearily, tears blur your vision, and you choke with a sob as drool drips down the corners of your mouth.Ā 
ā€œAlready crying?ā€ You hear Tanjiro murmur, voice sweet and low, a huge contrast to the brutal thrusts heā€™s been giving youā€”fucking your sore cunt with the intent to make you pass out. ā€œToo much for you now, hm?ā€
You suck in a sharp breath, moaning around his fingers, and your eyes roll back when Tanjiro leans in to have his head near your earā€”causing his cock to sink in deeper that you swear you feel him in your throat.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m sorry, love, but youā€™ll have to hold on for a little longer,ā€ His voice rumbles against you, rolling through your ear as his lips graze the shell of your ear. ā€œI still need to cum inside you, okay?ā€Ā 
If you werenā€™t currently getting fucked to the point where you can feel Tanjiroā€™s dick in your soul and your mind wasnā€™t a puddle of liquid pleasureā€”
You would probably laugh at yourself for being in the situation youā€™re in at the very moment.Ā 
Because none of this wouldā€™ve happened if it werenā€™t for Kanao.
And now youā€™re torn between still wanting to be mad at Kanao and also wanting to give her a hug of gratitude for getting Tanjiro like this.Ā 
Not because Kanao directly told Tanjiro to fuck you like heā€™s some madman.Ā 
Instead, funnily enough, it was Kanao who was the one that wanted Tanjiro for herself.Ā 
It was obvious with the way youā€™d watch her laugh at his jokes that werenā€™t even that funny sometimes.Ā 
Or the way youā€™ve noticed Kanao would leave light touches on Tanjiroā€™s hand and armā€”brief but still giving the message that she wants more from himā€”whenever you were all out on the field training.Ā 
Youā€™ve seen the way Kanao looked at Tanjiro.Ā 
And honestlyā€”you donā€™t blame her.Ā 
Tanjiro is an attractive guy.Ā 
Not only in his face but his demeanor, how polite he is. Smart, funny, and godā€”have you seen him without a shirt?Ā 
So you get why Kanao acts that wayā€”even more recently, now, as Tanjiro started to train more and grew a little taller.Ā 
Itā€™s why youā€™re dating him, in the first place.Ā 
But nobody knows that.Ā 
You two didnā€™t want to get in troubleā€”dating within the Corps wasnā€™t allowed.Ā 
But you guys couldnā€™t help it.Ā 
He liked you, and you didnā€™t want to lose out on the chance of having him to yourself.Ā 
The only issue with keeping your relationship with Tanjiro a secretā€”
Is that people, like Kanao, will try to get with him instead.Ā 
Because in their eyesā€”heā€™s single.Ā 
In Kanaoā€™s eyesā€”Tanjiro is available for her.Ā 
And at firstā€”you didnā€™t care.Ā 
You both knew what would happen once you kept this relationship a secret.Ā 
People will still flirtā€”it happened to you many times by other guys.Ā 
But you were always polite to let them downā€”made up some lie about wanting to focus on becoming a better slayer and all.Ā 
And Tanjiro said the same thing to Kanao once beforeā€”and she listened.Ā 
Admired him from far away.Ā 
And you were okay with that.Ā 
Untilā€”
Until Kanao started to get handsy. Gradually. Ā 
Until her small crush developed into something more for Tanjiroā€”and she wasnā€™t so subtle about it anymore.Ā 
You were okay with it until Kanao and Tanjiro got a little closerā€”and you had to sit back with your teeth pinching your tongue, watching and doing nothing about it.Ā 
And over timeā€”it got to you.Ā 
Itā€™s not that you donā€™t trust Tanjiroā€”because this man has done nothing but respect and show you immense trust and security in your relationship.Ā 
And he never flirted with Kanao back.Ā 
But that doesnā€™t mean you trust Kanao.Ā 
Not when Tanjiro is, in general, a really nice guy.Ā 
Nice to the point where Kanao can mistake it for flirting.Ā 
And if you couldnā€™t say anything about itā€”because what can you say without blowing your guysā€™ secret?Ā 
ā€˜Hey, stop flirting with Tanjiro becauseā€”ā€˜Ā 
Because what? You like him?
That heā€™s yours?Ā 
It was futile and you hated it.Ā 
ā€¦Hence, why you started to distance yourself.Ā 
From a few others at first.Ā 
But then it started to turn into you making an excuse to not talk to Tanjiro.Ā 
That distancing turned into you avoiding him as much as you can.Ā 
Because it hurt.Ā 
You canā€™t flirt with Tanjiro in public as Kanao canĀ 
And honestlyā€”you genuinely thought you would get away with this whole ā€˜distancing thing'.Ā 
It even got to the point where you thought that you and Tanjiro's relationship could possibly be over.Ā 
And wouldnā€™t that be amazing for Kanao, huh?Ā 
But then Tanjiro confronted you about it one nightā€”and thatā€¦
That was something.Ā 
The door to your dorm closes behind him as you both walk in, and itā€™s deadly silent.Ā 
The tension is so thick that you can cut a knife through it, but you donā€™t say anything.
And for a momentā€”it remains silent.Ā 
Just waiting for something to drop, to set off the bomb thatā€™s been ticking for a while, now.Ā 
Andā€”
And then you hear Tanjiro let out a tired sigh, and you turn to see him rub a hand over his face as he looks at you, confused. ā€œAre you going to tell me whatā€™s wrong, now?ā€Ā 
Your eyes widen, and surprise flashes through your pupils as you swallow hard, playing dumb as you avert your gaze. ā€œThereā€™s nothing wrong.ā€Ā 
He lets out a derisive snort, sarcasm lacing his words ā€œReally?ā€Ā 
ā€œYes, really,ā€ Your voice comes out flat, and you walk towards your bed while taking off your shirt. ā€œYou should go, Iā€™m tired.ā€Ā 
A lie.Ā 
One that Tanjiro immediately detects as he shakes his head and follows you. ā€œNot until we talk this out first.ā€Ā 
Thatā€™s the thing that also made you fall for himā€”is how big he is on communication.Ā 
Itā€™s something you generally love about himā€”except for this very moment.Ā 
Because talking about how stupidly jealous you are will get you emotionalā€”you can already feel the damn lump beginning to form in your throat.Ā 
You try to ignore him as you set up the bed, sniffling. ā€œThereā€™s nothing to talk about.ā€Ā 
Tanjiro huffs out a breath, his voice soft and pleading. ā€œDonā€™t lie to me.ā€
You purse your lips, your teeth clenching. ā€œYou should go rest.ā€Ā 
You feel him closer behind you, his body heat near yours, and his voice is so confused. ā€œWas it something I said?ā€Ā 
The breath you let out is shaky, feeling guilty for making him think heā€™s at fault here.Ā 
Because heā€™s not but emotions are a bitch and itā€™s starting to get to you.Ā 
You swallow thickly. ā€œNo.ā€Ā 
Another step closer to you.Ā 
ā€œWas it something someone else said?ā€Ā 
Your voice is a little strained. ā€œā€¦No.ā€Ā 
ā€œDid someone do something? Did I do somethingā€”?ā€
And at this pointā€”something kind of justā€¦snaps.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t know,ā€ You donā€™t mean to have any bite in your words, but youā€™re just so frustrated and overwhelmed and feel so stupid for the way youā€™re acting that it all just hits you at once as you sniffle, your voice cracking. ā€œWhy donā€™t you go ask your little girlfriend, Kanao?ā€
And thenā€”
Everything turns silent.Ā 
You can hear the soft ringing in your ears right after you say that.Ā 
You can feel your heart thumping rapidly with regret flushing your cheeks and your stomach drops.Ā 
Fuck.Ā 
You didnā€™t mean to say that out loud.Ā 
Fuck, fuck, fuckā€”
You feel a rough hand wrap around your wrist, and the next thing you knowā€”
Youā€™re being spun aroundā€”and your vision is instantly met with big, red eyes.Ā 
And your breath hitches in your throat soon after when you take in Tanjiroā€™s expression becauseā€”
He doesnā€™t look mad at you.Ā 
He looksā€¦worried.Ā 
Almost regretful in a way.Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s what this is all about?ā€Ā 
He asks, sounding incredulous and confused, looking at you patiently for you to answer.Ā 
Godā€”you feel so irrational nowā€”
ā€œIā€¦ā€ You start, not sure what to say with the way heā€™s looking at you like that, and you gulp. ā€œā€¦Itā€™s notā€”ā€
ā€œOh, love,ā€ Tanjiro sighs. Low and heavyā€”full with understanding once he takes a good look at youā€”and his eyebrows crinkle with focus as he brings you closer to himā€”tucking your head under his chin as he wraps his arms, full of muscles and warmth, around you. ā€œYou have no reason to be jealous of her, you know.ā€Ā 
Your lower lip wobbles. ā€œI knowā€”ā€
ā€œBut,ā€ He stops you, and you let out a shaky breath, ā€œIā€™m sorry for not realizing it sooner.ā€Ā 
Fuck.
You close your eyes, feeling guilty for even making him have to say that becauseā€”
ā€œItā€™s not your fault,ā€ You mutter, but Tanjiro simply shakes his head, sounding firm.Ā 
Ā ā€œNo, I shouldā€™ve made stricter boundaries with Kanaoā€”which I will do when I see her.ā€Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t want to tell you what to do with your friends, though.ā€Ā 
Tanjiro frowns and tips his chin down to give your forehead an achingly gentle kiss, mumbling against your head. ā€œHow you feel is more important to me.ā€
Well, thatā€™s just not fair.Ā 
You both stay like that for a bitā€”simply hugging and being in the otherā€™s arms.Ā 
Itā€™s silent again but this time itā€™s comfortable.Ā 
But then at some pointā€”
ā€œHey,ā€ Reluctantly, you lift your head to look at him, and Tanjiroā€™s eyes soften as he gives your lips a soft, gentle kiss. ā€œYouā€™re the only one I want, you know.ā€Ā 
You whimper, feeling a small shiver crawl up your spine.Ā 
He guides your mouth open with his, his warm tongue sliding against your lower lip. ā€œYouā€™re the only one I want to kiss.ā€Ā 
His hands on you grow firmer, almost possessive, as he pulls you closer to himā€”and you let out a small moan.Ā 
He kisses you so deeply that you feel it in your bones, and he starts to walk you towards the bedā€”the bend of your knees hitting the edge, causing your back to fall and land on the soft cushion beneath.Ā 
And he follows, holding you close to him, his mouth traveling to your ear and giving it a small nip, his voice rough against you, ā€œYouā€™re the only one I want to be inside of, too.ā€Ā 
God.Ā 
You feel yourself throb and you throw your arms around his neck as your legs wrap around himā€”kissing him back just as deeply, moaning into his mouth because this is the Tanjiro that you want.Ā 
This is what you need from him right now.Ā 
ā€¦Which is how, moments later, you end up the way you are right now.Ā 
Cheeks red and shiny from tears.Ā 
Your head foggy and ready to explode.Ā 
Body so exhausted and numb from the way heā€™s been fucking youā€”holding you down with your legs thrown over his shoulders, nearly bending you in half as he presses your legs against your chestā€”
And heā€™s fucking you through your third orgasm, all while you cry around his fingers, clinging onto whatever your hands can find as Tanjiro pushes down on youā€”groaning at just how pretty you look.Ā 
ā€œOnly made for me, love,ā€ Tanjiro breathes heavily, kissing one of your tears, before looking back at you with a small grin. ā€œYou take me so well.ā€
You whine, and he pulls his fingers out of your mouthā€”your saliva shiny on his fingersā€”and he uses the same hand to wrap around your neck, putting one of your most vulnerable parts into his hand.Ā 
ā€œAnd Iā€™m gonna make sure I get you all full with my cum.ā€Ā 
Thatā€™s another thing about him.Ā 
Itā€™s the way he is in bed.Ā 
He can be gentle butā€”
But thereā€™s just this edge to him that makes your head spin and turn into mush.Ā 
Itā€™s the way he talks with words that sound sweet with the tone he uses, even if theyā€™re filthyā€”as if each word has been dipped in sin-filled chocolate.Ā 
Itā€™s the way he fucks you with so much love and yet still manages to make you feel boneless and fucked stupid like some slut.Ā 
And that little, spiteful, part of you grinsā€”knowing that no one else gets to experience this side of him except you.Ā 
Not even Kanao.Ā 
He fucks you deep and slow, your fluids gushing out and getting both of you so wet that you can hear the sweet squelch of your pussy getting abused by his cock.Ā 
Your clit is overstimulated from his body rubbing against it with every thrustā€”that your muscles tense and heat is constantly sparking in your lower belly.
He goes until he starts talking about breeding youā€”filling your sweet cunt with his cum and keeping it there until your belly is full with his babies andā€”
ā€œGod, loveā€”ā€
And then you hear him groan, and Tanjiro kisses you as soon as his orgasm pushes through himā€”and heā€™s pumping his cum inside your pulsing cunt, filling you to the brim.Ā 
Itā€™s messy.Ā 
Youā€™re both so goddamn messy and out of breath by the time he cools down.Ā 
But you donā€™t care.Ā 
Even if your pussy is sore and wet and you know youā€™ll need a shower right after thisā€”
And even if his breathing is heavyā€”hell, he feels heavy on top of youā€”
You like it.Ā 
Itā€™s welcoming.Ā 
He kisses you again, this time slow and indulgent, and you feel yourself go numb at his words that get murmured right against you, ā€œIā€™m all yours, okay?ā€Ā 
End.Ā 
Masterpost
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kxsagi Ā· 9 days ago
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REQUEST IDEA šŸ˜¼šŸ˜¼šŸ”„šŸ”„ā€¼ļø
Reader goes on a family trip basically. BUT they bring their s/o. Reader's aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and parents (or just their primary family in general) go to a somewhere for a get together. Could be a summer vacation, a winter skiing trip, an autumn trip outside the country, or anything else. Whichever vibes you want to go for šŸ˜‹šŸ˜‹.
It's what people I know usually do but they let their kids bring their s/o and their family. So when a lot of the kids already have s/o's, it's gonna get harder and harder to take group photosšŸ˜…šŸ˜…. It's when the families are already familiar with each other enough yk.
And I wanna see character and reader's family interactionsšŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ˜‹. How'd they interact with their little cousins, how they'd deal with interrogation from family members, how they'd try to win their family's favor, silly shenanigans they'd do with reader while on the trip, etc.
This is alrdy getting pretty long but I have to get this out. Scenario ideas!!! Reader's little cousins go through the character's bag. thats it lol. Embarrassing childhood stories. Interactions between the s/o's. "So what do you do?" conversations and other ppl answer "doctor/lawyer/engineer and other impressive sounding stuff" and the character just answers "...I play soccer" IDKK but it's fine in the end bc ppl probably know who they r. Speaking of, some person in the family fangirling/fanboying over the character bc they're rlly into soccer. NOT NECESSARY TO THE PROMPT THO so ignore this if you wantšŸ«¶šŸ«¶
Any characters really but heh.... rinšŸ˜¼šŸ„¶šŸ˜“šŸ˜“šŸ„¶. Also now that I read over the prompt, this seems sooo Isagi. I don't really have a preferred format so it's up to youšŸ«¶. sorry if it's too long lmao šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
ā€œš¦š² š›šØš²šŸš«š¢šžš§š šÆš¬. š¦š² šŸššš¦š¢š„š²ā€
a/n: i am aware that everyone has different families, but for the sake of making it funny, i made readerā€™s family pretty chaotic!
ft. itoshi rin, isagi yoichi
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a/n: rin and sae are on good terms here! (art credits go to 1omya on X)
your familyā€™s idea of a relaxing vacation was flying twelve hours to a quiet countryside villa in italy during peak autumn season, renting out an entire stone estate surrounded by vineyards, and somehow turning it into survivor: family edition. you knew it was going to be chaos the second your aunt asked in the group chat, ā€œshould we all bring our significant others?ā€ and thirty messages later, the answer was yes. and that was how rin itoshi ended up in tuscany, standing stiffly in a turtleneck, carrying your pink suitcase like it personally insulted him, and regretting every life choice that led him here.Ā 
ā€œyou okay?ā€ you asked sweetly, looping your arm through his as you walked toward the villa.Ā 
ā€œi already hate it here,ā€ he muttered.Ā 
ā€œyou say that, but you look cute with the autumn leaves in your hair.ā€Ā 
he deadpanned, ā€œiā€™m going to throw myself into a wine barrel.ā€Ā 
the villa was already buzzing when you arrived. your cousins were running through the vineyard like feral woodland creatures. your mom was yelling at someone to stop touching the antique chandelier. your dad was trying to operate a pizza oven. and your great aunt, who had just discovered the bidet, was giving an enthusiastic tutorial to anyone within earshot. rin looked like he was actively trying to astral project.Ā 
then the interrogations started.Ā 
ā€œso, rin,ā€ said one aunt, sipping her wine with the measured look of someone who professionally judges wine and people. ā€œwhat do you do?ā€Ā 
ā€œiā€™m a soccer player,ā€ rin said flatly.Ā 
ā€œoh, thatā€™s nice,ā€ she said with the tone of someone who thought that meant he coached toddlers.Ā 
ā€œprofessionally,ā€ he added. ā€œin europe.ā€Ā 
someone at the table choked on a breadstick.Ā 
ā€œwait,ā€ your cousin whispered, eyes wide. ā€œwait. rin. rin itoshi?ā€Ā 
ā€œunfortunately,ā€ he muttered, already sensing what was coming.Ā 
ā€œNO WAY. I FOLLOW YOUR FAN ACCOUNT,ā€ they yelled, which immediately summoned a second cousin from across the villa who screeched ā€œI HAVE HIS JERSEY SIGNEDā€ and a third who appeared out of the hedges, clutching a soccer ball like a talisman.Ā 
and thatā€™s how rin was cornered at the dinner table, being grilled about world cup stats by three cousins and your aunt, who suddenly ā€œremembered watching him play against spain.ā€ meanwhile, another cousin was secretly filming him from behind a wine bottle like a biologist observing a rare animal.Ā 
you leaned over and whispered, ā€œhaving fun yet?ā€Ā 
ā€œyour cousin just asked if iā€™d sign her forehead.ā€Ā 
ā€œyou should. she said sheā€™d tattoo it.ā€Ā 
he blinked. ā€œwhat the hell is wrong with your family?ā€Ā 
ā€œgenetics.ā€Ā 
somewhere in the chaos, your little cousins broke into his room and started going through his suitcase. you walked in on them holding his designer jacket like it was a relic from a museum. one of them tried to wear it. it reached the floor. another was snooping through his skincare bag.Ā 
ā€œwhat is this?ā€ they asked, holding up his eye cream.Ā 
ā€œexpensive,ā€ he said, snatching it back. ā€œput it down before i cry.ā€Ā 
honestly, you were impressed with how he didnā€™t immediately flee to the airport. sure, he was grumpy 85% of the time and muttered threats like ā€œi will fake my death and disappear into the hills,ā€ but he also helped your cousin pick olives off the trees. he taught your younger cousin how to juggle a soccer ball and got way too into it. and when your grandma cornered him with a glass of homemade limoncello and asked if he loved you, he answered without hesitation.Ā 
ā€œyeah,ā€ he said. ā€œi do.ā€Ā 
you didnā€™t hear it firsthand, but your grandma told everyone at breakfast. you couldnā€™t look at him without smirking. he threatened to put you in the pizza oven.Ā 
rinā€™s family arrived a few days into the trip, and the contrast was hilarious. his mom was quiet and sweet, immediately bringing you a scarf she knitted and complimenting your italian. his brother sae showed up in sunglasses like he was there to cause problems on purpose.Ā 
ā€œyo,ā€ sae said, sitting next to your dad. ā€œyou know your daughterā€™s out of rinā€™s league, right?ā€Ā 
rin almost choked on his wine.Ā 
somehow, the itoshis blended in perfectly. his mom and your mom started a wine club (which was just them drinking and ranking cheeses). his dad and your uncle bonded over espresso. sae teamed up with your cousin to build a bonfire that was technically illegal. someoneā€™s dog peed on the vineyard. rin started drinking espresso like water. you werenā€™t sure if it was for the caffeine or emotional support.Ā 
one night, after a chaotic dinner involving three languages, a spilled lasagna, and your aunt accidentally texting the wrong rin her apple strudel recipe (a kid in osaka got it), you pulled him aside into the garden.Ā 
the moonlight lit the leaves gold. the air smelled like wine and pine and the burnt crust of whatever your uncle put in the pizza oven this time. you leaned on the railing. he stood next to you, arms crossed.Ā 
ā€œyou survived,ā€ you said.Ā 
ā€œbarely.ā€Ā 
ā€œbut you didnā€™t hate it?ā€Ā 
he glanced at you. ā€œyour cousin asked if i was gonna propose.ā€Ā 
you grinned. ā€œand what did you say?ā€Ā 
ā€œā€¦ i said not with her watching.ā€Ā 
you laughed, eyes crinkling. he looked at you like you hung the moon.Ā 
ā€œyou really love me, huh?ā€ you teased.Ā 
he rolled his eyes. ā€œyouā€™re lucky youā€™re hot.ā€Ā 
ā€œso lucky.ā€Ā 
and then, because it was your family and nothing was sacred, someone threw a wine cork at you from the balcony and yelled ā€œGET MARRIED ALREADY!ā€Ā 
you both turned.Ā 
rin shouted back, ā€œMIND YOUR BUSINESS.ā€Ā 
you? you just laughed.Ā because honestly? this was already better than any fairytale. just rin, your ridiculous family, and the chaos that made life sweet.
š¢š¬ššš š¢ š²šØš¢šœš”š¢
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a/n: art credits go to jyauii on X
you werenā€™t really sure what possessed you to bring isagi yoichi to your familyā€™s yearly summer beach trip. maybe it was because your little cousins had been bugging you about your mysterious soccer boyfriend for months. maybe it was because your mom asked a little too sweetly if ā€œyoichi could come, if heā€™s free, weā€™d love to have him.ā€ or maybe it was because you wanted to see if he could survive your familyā€™s unique brand of chaos. turns out? the manā€™s got survivor instincts.Ā 
youā€™d barely parked the car before one of your younger cousins launched himself at isagi like a heat-seeking missile, declaring a wrestling match to establish dominance. ā€œheā€™s testing you,ā€ you said, deadpan, while isagi politely got tackled into the sand.Ā 
ā€œi think he wins,ā€ isagi wheezed, pinned under a four-foot-tall ball of energy.Ā 
the beach house was packed. like, ā€œhow did we pass the fire codeā€ packed. your family didnā€™t just vacation, they migrated. aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, family friends, and that one mysterious extra person no one ever explained, everyone was here. and now, so was isagi, wearing his nicest shorts, polo shirt, and a hopeful smile, completely unaware that he was about to be questioned like a man on trial.Ā 
your mom greeted him with a hug. your dad sized him up. your aunt took one look and whispered, ā€œhe looks polite. thatā€™s suspicious.ā€ you gave him a sympathetic pat on the back. ā€œgood luck,ā€ you whispered. ā€œthey smell fear.ā€Ā 
he handled it pretty well, all things considered. by the time dinner rolled around, he was already holding a baby in one arm and flipping burgers with the other, like some sort of domestic action hero. your grandma called him ā€œhelpful.ā€ your uncle called him ā€œa decent enough guy, for someone who wears ankle socks.ā€Ā 
but of course, the moment of truth came during the infamous family dinner interrogation, where your relatives ask everyone under 40 what they do for a living, purely to judge silently afterward.Ā 
ā€œso, yoichi,ā€ one of your uncles began, already swirling a glass of wine like a villain, ā€œwhat is it that you do?ā€Ā 
ā€œi play soccer,ā€ isagi replied, like a fool. silence.Ā 
ā€œfor a local team?ā€ another asked, squinting.Ā 
ā€œā€¦ i play professionally. in germany.ā€Ā 
your aunt blinked. ā€œfor which team?ā€Ā 
ā€œbayern munchen.ā€Ā 
a beat. then your cousin, whoā€™d been silently scrolling under the table like a short-attention span ipad kid, let out a strangled squeak and went, ā€œNO FREAKING WAY. YOUā€™RE ISAGI YOICHI? I HAVE YOUR FIFA CARD.ā€ and that was that.Ā 
it was over.Ā 
your uncleā€™s wine glass trembled slightly. your younger cousins screamed. your grandma, bless her, just nodded and said, ā€œah. so heā€™s on television.ā€ she then resumed eating her grilled fish like nothing happened.Ā 
you could see the shift. suddenly, your relatives werenā€™t just tolerating isagi, they were trying to impress him. your cousin who once called soccer ā€œjust people kicking balls aroundā€ was now pretending heā€™d always been a diehard fan. your aunt googled how to say ā€œgo, isagi!ā€ in german. your uncle who played a little in college suddenly decided it was time to ā€œkick the olā€™ ball around again,ā€ which ended in him tripping over a cooler and blaming the sand.Ā 
later that night, your younger cousins raided your shared suitcase and found a photo album his mom had secretly slipped in ā€œfor memories.ā€ mistake. big mistake.Ā 
ā€œLOOK AT BABY YOICHI!ā€ one cousin yelled, holding up a photo of isagi with his signature ahoge and bright yellow rain boots, pouting dramatically at the camera. ā€œWHY IS HE CRYING HERE?ā€Ā 
ā€œhis cake had no frosting,ā€ you explained solemnly. ā€œdark day.ā€Ā 
another cousin flipped to a picture of him sleeping with a soccer ball clutched to his chest. ā€œiā€™m gonna send this to my group chat.ā€Ā 
ā€œiā€™m being blackmailed by children,ā€ isagi mumbled.Ā 
you kissed his cheek. ā€œyouā€™re doing great, love.ā€Ā 
honestly, he kind of was. he helped the kids build a sandcastle shaped like a turtle, he got tricked into joining a beach volleyball game where the ball hit him in the face twice, and he somehow ended up in a conga line started by your aunt after two piƱa coladas. it was beautiful. and terrifying.Ā 
then his parents showed up.Ā 
his mom brought handmade onigiri for everyone, which instantly won the hearts of your entire extended family. his dad complimented your dadā€™s grilling technique, which led to them bonding over charcoal like long-lost brothers. the two families mingled like this was the summer crossover event of the year. your mom and his mom were already planning a joint potluck. your grandma offered his dad a homemade remedy for back pain that involved vinegar and prayer. someone suggested a badminton match that turned into an all-out olympic-level war. it was perfect.Ā 
as the night wound down and the fire pit crackled, you and isagi found a quiet moment alone by the shore. the moonlight glinted off the waves. laughter echoed from the deck behind you. you kicked off your shoes and sighed.Ā 
ā€œthat wasā€¦ a lot,ā€ you said, leaning into him.Ā 
ā€œyou think your uncleā€™s gonna send me that photo of me covered in ketchup?ā€ he asked softly.Ā 
ā€œhe said heā€™s using it as your contact picture.ā€Ā 
he groaned and let his forehead fall against your shoulder.Ā 
ā€œyoichi?ā€Ā 
ā€œmm?ā€Ā 
ā€œthanks for coming.ā€Ā 
he smiled into your skin. ā€œyou kidding? iā€™d survive a thousand uncles if it means getting to do this with you.ā€Ā 
you grinned. ā€œyou really like me, huh?ā€Ā 
ā€œmore than soccer.ā€Ā 
ā€œliar.ā€Ā 
ā€œā€¦ equal to soccer.ā€Ā 
you nodded, satisfied. ā€œiā€™ll take it.ā€Ā 
and as you stood there, wrapped in his arms, sand between your toes and half your family plotting a family soccer tournament with him as the coach, you thought yeah. this was gonna be one hell of a vacation.Ā 
Ā© š¤š±š¬ššš š¢
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meanbossart Ā· 1 month ago
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Are you ever worried about being such a popular artist in the bg3 fandom? Is it ever intimidating knowing how many people are aware of your online presence? Sorry for the weird question lol Iā€™m just curious what your experience has been like being such a prominent artist in such a big community! šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø
I am either dumb or delusional, but I still feel like extremely small-potatoes when compared to what others consider to be "popular artists" šŸ˜…. Not that the attention hasn't been overwhelming - I had to work through the guilt of not being able to respond to every message anymore, for one - but the anxiety I did experience (which I obviously did not broadcast at the time it was happening) was also exacerbated by me quitting smoking at the same time. Now that the worst of my withdrawal symptoms have passed I feel much better equipped to process this (and regardless of how I compare to others, it is definitely something that requires processing! The human brain wasn't built for social media, lol.)
Occasionally something will happen that will make me pause and reflect on the type of reach that I have, and of course there is no overstating how impactful patreon has been on my life and ability to create art, but the way I interact online has kind of remained the same otherwise. And yes, I worry about being on the internet, but my worries are the same now as they were 3, 4, 5 years ago.
Of course, it's worth mentioning that I enjoy the benefits of two things: a) having had some internet presence as an artist prior to this, hence experience with a smaller-scale version of what things are like now and b) being an inherently private person who treats everything online with a degree of distance and a lot of suspicion!
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celestie0 Ā· 6 months ago
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guys its seriously not the end of the world that ihm gojo has an ex wife like fr šŸ˜­ heā€™s a 34 y/o financially stable & attractive grown ass man, iā€™d be more concerned if he DIDNT have past serious relationships up to this point
some asks iā€™ve received ab it have been borderline really rude to me about my creative decision to give him the plotline of a past wife who he, yes, was very in love with (or else why tf would he marry her lmfao)
i have received asks of people saying they find it gross, they think that itā€™s ā€œbullfuckeryā€, that they actively ignore that aspect of the fic because they disagree/dislike it (like ffs how rude to admit that to me lol), that they donā€™t think it makes sense for him to be with someone that isnā€™t reader, that he ā€œloses aura pointsā€ for having an ex wifeā€¦etc
please think about how that feels to me, as an author, to have my creative decision constantly belittled, questioned, and made irrelevant like thatā€¦there are ACTUAL toxic shit you could call a character out for n i wouldnt be mad ab it bc, yknow, thatā€™s warranted. BUT A GROWN MAN HAVING AN EX WIFE? šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
šŸ˜… i only really speak up about things when it gets to being too much, and iā€™m now doing so bc iā€™ve probably received 15+ asks with these sorts of rhetoric so far and iā€™m getting kind of sick of it
if you think a 34 y/o man having a prior relationship is ā€œgrossā€ just because it wasnā€™t with YOU (aka the reader), then i feel like thereā€™s a difference in maturity between you & i and iā€™d rather not interact w you on that regard
and iā€™m sorry to say this, but there will be a LOT of ihm gojoā€™s ex wife in future chapters. there will be an extensive backstory chapter of their marriage too, where i will not shy away from themes of love and sex between them even if itā€™s not ā€œwith the readerā€ā€¦if youā€™re gonna feel some type of way about that, then ihm is not the story for you
i donā€™t resonate with that level of jealousy or possessiveness over a character, hence why iā€™m comfortable writing about it. if youā€™re not comfortable reading it, then youā€™re not going to enjoy what i have planned for ihm
and if you think your passive aggressive words will get me to change my mind about what i choose to do with the story, then youā€™re wrong
of COURSE he is going to end up with reader in the end, but that doesnā€™t discount the person that he was before he met her. i want him to stand in ihm as one of the main characters in his own right, n not just as the ā€œlove interestā€
like idk i just feel awful bc itā€™s like every month i have to come on here and make some type of boundaries over these sorts of asks that i get n idk if itā€™s a me problem at this point lmfao?? but i just donā€™t understand the entitled and rude language that is often thrown my way w regards to my works šŸ˜… but i canā€™t sit by and pretend like iā€™m ok with it hence why iā€™m speaking up and will continue to speak up if it teaches some of you about fanfic author/reader etiquette
as always ily to all my other readers obv this just applies to the rude few n not to all my other beautiful angels šŸ˜ƒšŸ˜ƒ much love šŸ’• and iā€™m gonna take a bit of a break from here so hope you all have a nice week ahead of you
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softspace-fics Ā· 8 months ago
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Hiiiiii I just read your new loki fic with a disabled little and I was amazing to read especially when it's relatable like that I have a bad relationship with my health šŸ˜…
If your comfortable with it I really feel that a stucky x disabled little would be a perfect match cuz bucky is disabled (just in a cooler way with the vibranium arm) and iv been reading how you write bucky and Steve and they just want what's best for they're little so I need to read them helping the reader be more comfortable with they're disability.
You can ignore this but I just wanna say I love your blog and I hope your having a great day
-šŸ¦„
Hurts.
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Masterlist - All my work!
A/N - hiii! I am so sorry your request took a little bit because I wanted to make it similar yet different to my story "It's hard." because everyone's experience with pain and why they don't feel comfortable with others when in pain, or for why they have bad relationship with their health is completely different. I wish I could include everyone in each post, and if you'd like to share your story with me I'd love to know, your never alone in your battles. If you have any feed back please let me know!
Warningsāš ļø: mentions of rough family life, parents saying meds should fix the pain, ignorance of how pain affects someone, negative regression, mentions of bucky in hydra but nothing significant, please let me know if I missed anything!!
Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Little!Reader
___________
Bucky understood what it was like to be in unbearable pain, feeling like your entire body was being ripped to shreds. He had been stuck being experimented on for how long? When he told Steve about how he felt on a daily basis even after not being experimented on for a while, Steve did his best to learn how to help him out when the pain just made it unbearable.
This meant that steve tried hard to figure out the best ways to help anyone who was in severe amounts of pain. He tried epsom salts, different type of ointments, mental care, anything he possibly could think about to make bucky comfortable.Ā 
So when they met you, you didnā€™t seem out of the ordinary for them, to them you were seen as such sweet person and you were pretty confident. When people would talk to you, you helped them out if you could, or were polite in saying you couldnā€™t.Ā 
You had originally met the two in a library when Steve and Bucky were looking for different types of books to try and learn more about the world today. You were trying to reach for the book on the highest shelf, and pain was shooting through every fiber in your body. You were exhausted and uncomfortable when you saw Steve's shadow behind you and got spooked. You jumped and nearly fell over from moving too quickly off your tippy toes. He gently grabbed your arm to stabilize you before smiling at you and apologizing for scaring you.
He asked if you needed help with getting the book off the shelf and you quietly said yes. It was one of your favorite childhood books, you read them sometimes when you regress, althoughĀ  he didnā€™t need to know that. You felt bad making him do it for you, even though he asked. You know it wasnā€™t anything significant but you had never been able to accept help.Ā 
Your family barely paid any attention to your pain, you were thrown on meds that did nothing when you were a kid and they stopped caring. Everytime you said something you always got ā€œWell, did you take your meds?ā€ ā€œYour meds worked yesterday, donā€™t lie to meā€ Meds this, meds that. It got to the point you stopped taking meds and never asked your parents for help with your pain.Ā 
When you were able to finally get into doctor offices by yourself you got meds that helped somewhat, but you still never felt as if you could rely on anyone else to help with your aches and how you felt on the inside. You had meds which meant that you should be fine and learn to deal with the pain on your own. Right?
You had seen the duo in the bookstore quite often after the first interaction, learning they were together and they were shocked when you told them you had no clue who ā€œcaptain Americaā€ or the ā€œwinter soldierā€ was. You never really payed attention to the world outside of your bubble, you couldnā€™t relate to a lot of people so you shut off a lot of the outside.Ā 
Eventually they asked you out, and from then on is history. But something you still hadnā€™t told them about was the chronic pain, and the regression that came from it. You had times where getting out of bed was the worst idea ever, showering was beyond out of the question, and regression was the only option your brain had.
Youā€™d regress young enough that you could toddle and make it from point A to point B, but past that you had no survival when you were in so much agony. This means there became times you didnā€™t eat for hours, youā€™d sleep longer than you should, and there would be times you didnt respond for hours to anyone.
Bucky and Steve got super worried on days you never replied, they tried to let you have your space, thinking that it was something that you just did, but when you didnt show up for a date at their place, they ran over, thoughts racing.
They knocked on your door which woke you up, but you had no energy to attempt in getting up. Not knowing it was them, you assumed it was a package and tried to go back to sleep when they knocked louder.
Steve continued to knock while bucky prayed that you had left a key outside to your apartment incase you lost yours. He looked under a brick and practically ran to get your door open. Thank god that he remembered people put keys under rocks.
When they got in the apartment, the quickly rushed to find you. Scanning and worridly running around.
ā€œY/N??ā€ Steve shouts, checking the bathroom.
ā€œSweetheart?!ā€ Bucky yells as he opens the door to your room, where he finds you crumpled in pain, your room darker than a cave.
ā€œPlease, stop screaming.ā€ You mumble quietly, you clutch your stuffie to your chest, your regression starting to set in after being brutally awaken.
Bucky quickly comes and sits by your side, helping to pull the blanket away from your face, looking at you with complete and utter concern.
Steve eventually comes in with some things in his hands, bucky looks at him puzzled before connecting the dots.
See, Bucky found you, but Steve found your regression and safe room. Where you had soft toys and padding everywhere. It was something you had filled with everything that you could need for when your regressed, and when it hurt too much to move.
The two knew what age-regressors were from tony, seeing as him and Stephen were the proud caregivers of Peter and Wanda. So when Steve saw your pacifier and heating pads, and anything else that might help, he grabbed it all.
ā€œBaby, can you tell us whats wrong?ā€ Bucky softly asks, tucking your hair behind your ear, Softly rubbing your thigh with his thumb.
ā€œHurts.ā€ you mumble out softly, you slowly flip over, and bury your face into bucky's stomach. His scent fills your lungs, and he slowly starts to rub your back, holding you closely.Ā 
Steve comes up behind Bucky, his face contorted to a face of his own pain. He hated seeing you so upset, and seeing you were trying to fend for yourself, by yourself, hurt him.
ā€œDo you want your pacifier darling?ā€ Steve gently asks, he wasnā€™t sure if you knew he had found your room, and wasnā€™t wanting to freak you out.
Hearing him ask that question, you looked up from bucks embrace with pure terror. How did he find it? Why was he so calm about it?
Bucky softly cupped your cheek and kissed your forehead before pulling you back into his embrace, rubbing small circles on your back before he speaks calmingly.
ā€œDoll, we know about regression or age-dreaming, there's nothing to be afraid of, we promise.ā€
You relax into his hold before slowly nodding. Steve hands you your paci and you slide it between your lips and just rest against bucky, the pain minorly subsiding with the extra pressure of his hug.
ā€œBaby, I know that the pain can be hard to handle, but you don't have to go this alone, you'll never be alone now that we're here. Whatever we can do, we want to do it. Please never feel as if you have to fight this battle alone.ā€ Bucky manages to barely whisper out, fighting his own emotions.
Your tears begin to fall, hearing words you've never heard before. Youā€™ve had to fight by yourself for so long, that maybe them knowing wasn't for the worst.
ā€œYour not alone anymore, never alone. We're with you now. The pain doesn't have to be suffering anymore, let us help.ā€ Steve sits next to you and buck, rubbing your back and leaving little kisses on your head.
You slowly nod, wanting someone to be there, maybe this time, you'll be able to accept the help. The right help.
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creatingblackcharacters Ā· 14 days ago
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Hello! Do you have any tips on writing a Black character who was born and raised in Japan? A lot of the stuff online is about people who moved to Japan afterwards, or who are going there on vacation, and thatā€™s not really what I need. Thereā€™s this perception that Black people donā€™t exist in Japan, whichā€¦ that canā€™t possibly be true. Not even talking about the historic Black samurai- thereā€™s got to be a population of Black people in Japan, right now.
Any advice would help!
I'm sorry, unfortunately you caught me at a time of lower energy šŸ˜­ but yeah, Black people exist worldwide. That is oddly a hard thing for people to fathom, but... Just bc there's not always a lot of us, doesn't mean we aren't there! We have access to every form of movement everyone else does!
There are definitely Black Japanese people šŸ˜… Naomi Osaka is the first person that comes to mind for me, as a famous and respected tennis player. I don't have any advice on how to write Black Japanese people specifically, but I do have general advice in one of my lessons on how to approach Blackness from a multicultural perspective.
I looked on Google for Black Japanese people and I got a lot of videos on the experience of being raised while Black in Japan- I have noticed, from prior interactions as well, that a lot of times even other Japanese people don't think they're actually Japanese because they're Black. The Black Experience Japan has videos, admittedly from the diaspora and not solely. I do think that the perspective of both will allow you to see how the society itself treats Blackness.
Best of luck šŸ™šŸ¾
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ozzgin Ā· 2 years ago
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Omg love your page!.. could you write there was a prehistoric reader who was found with pickle and the t-rex, they noticed that pickle was protecting the woman who was visibly pregnant and almost as tall as him (Sorry if you don't write for preg just a head cannon I thought of šŸ˜…)
Thank you and no worries, itā€™s definitely doable! Iā€™m actually surprised to see how popular the idea of a prehistoric reader is. Thatā€™s the charm of requests I suppose, other people sharing their unexpected, creative ideas with you.
Baki Headcanons: Prehistoric! Pregnant! Reader
Featuring an extra protective daddy Pickle and his challengers. Since Iā€™ve already done some backstory on a prehistoric reader, this will focus more on the vulnerability of a soon-to-be Jurassic mother and how that tweaks the character interactions.
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Pickle was the first one to awaken and had to be sedated just as fast, since he immediately begun searching for you, increasingly angry. Everyone had to be evacuated and it took several chloroform bombs throughout the building, but they managed to gain some time.
The scientists didnā€™t necessarily enjoy separating him from his mate, but after the initial shock of discovering the fetus you were carrying, they wanted to see if by some miracle you both could be revived in a similar manner. A prehistoric resurrection was downright ridiculous to begin with, but a pregnancy frozen in time? Peak of absurdity, and a never seen before breakthrough. Everyone could see their names published in top scholarly journals like Nature.
In a race against the clock, they fumbled with the medical machinery in order to confirm the health status of you and your unborn child. They werenā€™t sure if a second attempt of sedation would be as successful on the enraged, worried father.
Once all the variables are measured and safety is confirmed, they release you to join Pickle and they exhale in unison, grateful to have escaped the wrath of the Jurassic creature.
Pickle is further motivated to fight his challengers, because this time itā€™s not just about his hunger and entertainment: he has a duty to his mate, and you need to be fed properly. Though you arenā€™t as excited about digging into these miniature humans. They remind you of children.
The fighters thread carefully around you. While you may look vulnerable, you have a similar build to Pickle and theyā€™d rather not risk underestimating you. Pregnancy can lead to unpredictable reactions if it means protecting the offspring.
You quietly watch over the fights, like a Roman emperor contemplating the fate of his gladiators. Will the matriarch spare the defeated? Pickle is but your humble servant, ready to act on your wishes.
No matter how you look at it, you just canā€™t stomach the thought. You stroke your fertile belly and feel overwhelmed with pity. The frail humans have impressed you with their strength, but not enough to want their flesh torn apart.
Iā€™m almost convinced that Yuujirouā€™s mind would immediately wander to the breeding potential the moment he sees you. Just imagine the powerful outcome of combining your ancient warrior genes and his superhuman modern talent. Yuujirou stares at you long enough to trigger Pickleā€™s suspicions, and he immediately stands in front of you, reminding everyone that heā€™s the only one whose children you shall carry.
Retsu and Katsumi view motherhood as something sacred and will treat you like an ornate porcelain piece that could break at any moment, if not careful enough. If your mouth twists the wrong way they will join Pickle in a confused, hurried quest to satisfy your cravings.
Baki and Jack are almost as protective as Pickle, especially when Yuujirou is within several meters distance. You find it greatly amusing when the tiny humans form a shield before you, guarding you from unknown dangers. You clap your hands excitedly at all this entertainment provided to you.
You have to remind Pickle to take a break every now and then, rubbing your knuckles into his tense shoulders. Heā€™s been alert ever since youā€™ve been brought to this mysterious world and you donā€™t blame him. Everything is new and confusing and you donā€™t know what to expect. But all that matters right now is that youā€™re still together and your family is safe. Pickle rests his forehead against yours, touching your stomach in an attempt to detect any movement. His eyes narrow in a smile when he feels the barely noticeable kick. He misses his old world dearly, but his home is not lost. Itā€™s right in front of him.
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diejager Ā· 1 year ago
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I saw something about Victorian COD so hear me out-
Victorian Price in the fanciest suit
I'm sorry but that man would be so hooooooooooot as a Victorian gentleman, it fits his vibe
p.s. Happy 2024!!!!!!!
I got to this 3 months laterā€¦ Happy belated new year šŸ˜…
Cw: flirting? Price being a gentleman, older man/younger woman, established relationship, tell me if I missed any.
Your fatherā€™s business parties had always been boring, they were a chore for you to keep a perfect facade to the public, the frail yet strongĀ ladyĀ of the house, donned in ridiculously frilly dresses and thighs corsets. Your mother had fussed over it your entire life, her rough fingers, brought from her commoner background, had made her harsher in every manner to keep her title, for you to keep yours as a noble born into a world of riches. But the upkeep of it was useless when you had no part in it, forced to play a part in something you had no right to be a part of.Ā 
Granted, you had your reservation, understanding that being on the same side as your father had itā€™s perks, the power his title - soon to be passed down to your older brother once your father passed - and his money. You didnā€™t necessarily depend on it wholly, you might live in his home, eat from his cooks and call for the maids and butlers he employed, but you had your studio away from home, somewhere in the city where you painted under natural light and sold portraits to people who paid you for a commission.Ā 
It wasnā€™t as grand as being a merchant, to sell the luxuries most nobles sought - gems, fabrics, gold and silver - but it built you connections, your work passed from mouth to ear, one noble at a time, and one town at a time. You had your clientele and your father had his, you had an image to keep for something you worked so hard for, but to invest an equal amount of face and finesse in a snobbish party was draining. Fortunately, a few of your fatherā€™s work affiliates were regular clients at your little studio, sending letters to you months in advance toĀ organiseĀ dates for you to paint them, it varied between one and a few months.
YourĀ favouriteĀ was a British merchant company, lead by one bear of a man that you knew well, managed by three - aĀ kind-heartedĀ britĀ with beautiful skin, a boisterous Scot with his unusual haircut, and a broad and rugged man who hid his identity under a fearsome mask - other you were well-acquainted with and advised by a strong headed woman too advanced for your era. John Price was his name, a man a decade older than you, but treated you kinder than any man had before him, a gentleman in a beautiful suit and slacks, a red shirt and waxed shoes. He - coincidentally - matched your attire, your frilly, red chemise with a high and bowed collar, the sleeves long and rumpled in waves of red silk, waist high pants that hugged your body the same way your motherā€™s corset hugged her form and slick shoes that shone under the high chandeliers.Ā 
ā€œYou seem bored, love,ā€ his soft and baritone voice never failed to make you shudder, his hand on your back a reminder than he was with you.
He was always the gentleman, a man who worked his way to nobility, gaining a title and land through blood, sweat and tears. He was known for his trades, selling and shipping a large variety of items that some considered exotic simply because nobles hated interacting with foreigners, a kind of bred racism and xenophobia through generations to fear any uprising from their colonies and other countries. He was as broad as his company was known, every core member of it respected for climbing the echelon of society through hard work. Some purebred nobles might hate him for taking a title without being born into it, but none could object his craft, like an artist couldnā€™t do hate their canvas.Ā 
ā€œThere isnā€™t much to do, is there, John?ā€ You nodded towards your father, knowing that he was observant enough to see the slightest of movement, ā€œMy father isā€¦ he loves bathing in luxury, in the popularity his name brings.ā€
He hummed, a low rumble from his throat, his eyes narrowed almost threateningly, but you knew the amused gleam in his eyes. You had years to get to know him, once an occasional client - a man who stumbled into your studio wanting to let a newly risen artist a chance to paint him, admiring your work for the smooth and confident strokes - who brought his art trade to you, now a trusted friend, someone you were blasphemously closed too for someone your age.Ā 
Your friendship hadnā€™t lasted long, the constant coaching from Kyle and Johnny, the silent push from Simon and the proud smile from Kate had both of you meeting halfway, throwing you into his open arms and fooling around at the back of your studio until John could take you away to marry.Eloping and always sounded interesting, you werenā€™t needed at home, your father had an heir and your mother had your younger sister to worry about.
ā€œHe flaunts it foolishly, yes,ā€ he agreed, raising the cup to his lips, tipping it until the champagne flowed down the glass rim, ā€œBut we have a contract, one I intend to uphold until he complete his end of it. And I met you.ā€
He turned to you, a tender smile hidden under his beard, his stormy blues softening as he peered down at you, adoration gleaming in his eyes. You wished you could kiss him, to grip him by the collar and pull him down to press your lips against his course ones, to kiss him deeply and show him the love you felt for him.Ā 
ā€œI would, love, but weā€™re in public,ā€ had you spoken out loud? It seemed you did if John answered you, his chuckles shaking his shoulders, ā€œWould you come home with me once Iā€™ve finished my business?ā€
ā€œOf course, John.ā€
Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @infpt-zylith @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami
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tutanchanup Ā· 2 months ago
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I don't know why I have decided to murder you all... I apologise
The Beheading of Vlad Draculea
ā€¦a short story intertwined with history.
~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~
Now I STRONGLY RECOMMEND PLAYING THIS WHILE READING! (sorry for the weird format but I haven't figured out how to do it properly here on Tumblr yet, someone help me šŸ˜…)
Because it captures perfectly the tone of the scene, thus making your experience fuller too šŸ˜‰
(The video is amazing too if you'd be interested later)
First, the (un)necessary wall of text (feel free to skip šŸ˜„):
What historical facts I was inspired by that we have at least somewhat documented:
What his personality seems to be from what we know of him - pragmatic, resilient, unbreakable, a genius strategist and warrior
His behaviour and crowd interaction I base in the ways of mediaeval aristocracy, a field I specialize in*
We know he'd been killed by his enemies shortly after he'd ascended the Wallachian throne for the third time after 12 years of exile, in 1476, at the age of 45.
He was probably attacked by another pretender for the throne
There's a possibility he suffered from haemolacria
Even though in the world he became known by the propagandistic stories depicting him as a monster, fascinatingly, it has never happened in Romania itself. Somehow there survived his image of a just and beloved ruler, something only now the modern science started to discover has basis in history
Facts for those that don't know much about him:
For his memories, I use the real historical events that we know happened in his life
We know he built his castles with secret passages
We know he was an excellent fighter
His war strategies were legendary, he must've been incredibly clever and was very resourceful
His people probably really loved him. He defended them against the Ottomans and brought down those nobles who exploited them. Their living conditions improved greatly during his reign (justice for everyone, no unfair immunity for boyars, support of lower class, tax exemption for craftsmen, new roads, ending exploitation from Saxons, rewards for common people, commoners lifted to boyar status, ending the sending children as slaves to the Ottomans).
One theory states that that was the reason why they called him Drakgwlya (Dracula means ā€˜son of the dragonā€™- his father had the nickname ā€˜Dracul=Dragonā€™, his enemies changed that to ā€˜son of the devilā€™, but it has one other possible origin - as you'll find out later in the story)
Ā°~Ā°~ā€¢~Ā°~Ā°
My assumptions that I used to cover the missing parts:
If I was Vlad's enemy and managed to overpower him, instead of murdering him on the spot I'd choose to behead him publicly, had I the chance (beheading was the only allowed way how to execute a nobleman - btw Vlad upheld that too, he never impaled them, as opposed what the propaganda stories accuse him of).
Why? See the following:
His people were waiting for his return for 12 years with patience and hope. I would want to make sure that they'd see that he's finished for good and that there's no chance that he could return again somehow someday
Vlad the Impaler at this point had an absolutely massive reputation as undefeatable scourge of his enemies (an image even strengthened by the propaganda depicting him as the devil incarnate). I'd absolutely want to create in the public eye the physical image of me being the one ending him
We think that his head was probably sent to the sultan of the Ottoman empire, Mehmed II. Possibly shortly after. But in mediaeval times, the body of the fallen monarch was preserved and paraded around, so that people could make sure that he's really dead - both his followers and his enemies. However without head, how could you persuade them that that's really the legendary Vlad the Impaler and not just some guy in his armour? Public execution solves this, as there would be testimonies from people that saw it happen
Ā°~Ā°~ā€¢~Ā°~Ā°
*His personality in my works is based on my own thorough research. I'm considering his upbringing as a 15th-century voivode - influenced by medieval Christianity, and needing the moral code required of a ruler who led his people into battle (I'll do some posts on these later).
Does he sound like a B-movie superhero to you? That's not a coincidence! Modern superheroes are the continuation of mediaeval legendary knights. And many traits we associate with classic heroes - unwavering courage, honor, strategic brilliance, and even calculated ruthlessness - were not just ideals for a medieval ruler. They were necessary for survival. A voivode leading his army personally into battle couldnā€™t afford fear, hesitation, or weakness. His power depended on his ability to inspire loyalty, intimidate enemies, and outmaneuver both foreign invaders and internal threats.Those who succeeded in embodying these ideals became themselves legends or saints - like Charlemagne or Vladā€™s cousin, St. Stephen (guess whom he had the opportunity to learn fromā€¦).
And if one thing is certain, Draculaā€™s name became more than legendary.
This short story tries to imagine how that could've happened.
~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~
Now let's leave the realm of cold facts and musings, and let us step into the warm embrace of art:
Hear, hear! For I have a tale to tell you, of the last day of Vlad Voda of Wallachia:
And let the captivating tones of the bard Farya Faraji wash over your ears while I will be doing so.
~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~
Vlad Draculea, or "the Impaler" as he's become known lately, was standing in a cold, dark cell of his own castle. A massive iron collar around his neck, the chain linked to it binding him to the iron bars of the prison.
That collar was the problem.
You see, he had expected something like this could happen. He wasn't called one of the best strategists of his time for nothing. He knew that there was a chance that one day some of the pretenders to the throne could capture him and throw him in a cell so they could prepare to execute him publicly. He would have done the same. That's why he had rebuilt his castles with secret passages leading from the prison cells he could one day find himself in, including this one. The secret way was hidden under the wooden bench, its opening accessible after removing the third floor stone from the right of the northern wall.
But he hadn't counted for the collar.
It wasn't there when he last checked the state of the castle after his return from 12 years of exile. But his enemy has fished it out of who knows where.
Apparently, the ingenuity of Vlad Draculea had become so legendary, that his enemies made sure to be thorough. Curses.
And so he had ended with an iron collar around his neck, chained to the bars, just a few steps away from the secret passage that could've led him to safety, and yet now made agonizingly unreachable.
He tugged at the chain again, but it was no use, the metal was just too strong.
Vlad couldn't but laugh heartily at the sweet irony of this whole situation.
The saddest thing is, that of all places, the shackle was around the neck. If he'd been chained by wrists, he would consider breaking his thumbs. Maybe he'd manage to break his ankles too, if the shackles had been there instead. But breaking his neck was... a possibility, for sure, but not one that would lend him much advantage.
Vlad smirked again and slightly bowed his head in respectful admiration. "Well played, indeed!" he mused. As a warlord he could always appreciate a clever strategy, even when it was used to defeat him.
But he didn't bash himself over his defeat for too long. He knew he had done the best he could. This wasn't really something he could have prevented in advance.
Sometimes, life was just like this. Sometimes, even the best strategy still couldn't guarantee that you stayed alive.
There was no use in spending his last moments on earth wallowing in pointless grief.
So instead, he decided to use this moment of respite to contemplate his life. And what a life that has been!
He smiled sadly at his cruel childhood. He wept briefly for those he'd loved that had fallen. He laughed again at the times that had brought him joy. He smiled with gratefulness at the moments when he had felt true happiness.
And then he finished with a short prayer, thanking God that he could've lived through all that, and now pleading that his soul be received in heaven.
He then took a deep breath in and out and then looked at the cold cell around him anew, his expression now calm.
"I wonder what awaits me next?" he pondered. The thoughts about his own death inadvertently looming over him couldn't be escaped. But maybe, it won't be so bad... Maybe he'll see his loving wife again. What a nice sight that would be, to once more see her with her arms open, welcoming him home after he will return from his very last battle.
He might even set his eyes upon the face of his beloved brother Mircea, now surely a better sight than when he'd last seen him, when his dead face with gouged out eyes was marked by the horror of having been buried alive. Ah, how he was excited to see him smile again instead!
And his father would be there too... father who he'd hated until the last moment for giving him away to the Ottomans as a hostage and then subsequently betraying them, thus sentencing his own son to death, which neither of them couldn't have known at the time that wouldn't come. But then when Vlad met him again he'd sacrificed himself to save Vlad and Raduā€™s lives... Vlad longed for the opportunity to talk to him again ever since.
And then of course there would be his dear mother, who he had last seen when he was just 7 years old, and never got to know what had become of her after that. Now he will finally be able to hear her story.
Vlad smiled wryly at those thoughts.
His chain of thought was broken by the metallic sound of keys in the door. Ah, the time has finally come. He looked with a bittersweet smile as that damned collar fell to the floor. Oh well. Now when the fully armed soldiers had clasped him firmly with their hands, it was a dead end anyway.
As they led him over the courtyard that his steps had marked for so many times before, he quickly assessed the situation. The soldiers were many. Too many. And they were armed too. Even if he managed to wriggle himself free from their grip, they would catch him before he'd even reach the closest window. No, the only thing that would achieve was him dying sooner, with no pride whatsoever, and staining his reputation with the mark of "coward" as well. That simply wasn't worth it.
So he let them lead him to the newly raised wooden terrace, where his enemy already awaited him, along with the executioner's sword, and the crowd to behold that. Draculea walked with his head proudly raised, a brave smile across his face. He wasn't scared at all. Why should he be? Fear would do him no service, especially not now. Being scared wouldn't change the situation in any way, so why spoil his last moments with it? He was calm instead, his gaze already fixed beyond mortal matters. He didn't pay much attention to the words of his enemy. It didn't matter anyway, and he would risk that he would roll his eyes if he heard his enemy boasting how he was the one to bring the fearsome Vlad the Impaler to his demise.
His gaze stopped at the sight of the beheading block, and his eyes sparked with curiosity: "I wonder how that will be!"
Then suddenly, a sharp shout tore him away from his thoughts.
It came from the public.
He looked at the crowd for the first time. He didn't pay them much attention before, as he wasn't interested in seeing faces of people cheering over his demise or laughing at his defeat. But he was surprised that that wasn't what he saw. No. The expressions he saw were full of... sadness. The people... His people... were mourning him. "Vlad Voda!" one man had cried with desperation. Soon one woman accompanied him, tears running down her face. These were the people who'd waited for 12 years for his return, and now they were forced to see their hopes of him being their ruler once again thwarted before their very own eyes. "Vlad Voda, don't leave us!!! Don't go, dragul...!"
Dragul. Beloved. The name his people had given him.
Vlad smiled at them kindly, saying without words "But what can I do?"
From the crowd came the answer: "Fight!"
Vlad almost laughed out loud. What use could there be in fighting? Don't they see the odds? The platform was full of armed soldiers, two of them were holding him as well, and his hands were tied behind his back.
But the crowd stood firm. "Fight them!! Fight, Vlad Voda!!!!"
Vlad smiled again at the unfaltering faith they had in his fighting skills.
But then he gave it a moment's thought. Sure, there was no chance to win whatsoever, he knew that beyond doubt. But maybe... Maybe it would be nice to have one last battle. To once more unleash the admirable strength of his body that he had cultivated since childhood. To use the battle skills he had drilled into his mind with such care that they became part of his instincts now. To feel his heart race with adrenaline in the heat of battle ...for that one last time.
But the voice inside his head had stopped him. It was that voice which always rose up to make him aware that he as a voivode had responsibility to his people. He couldn't just let his own desires win. His life wasn't his own, it never was, it always belonged to his people. He was there to serve. And starting a fight here and there wouldn't do them much service, what if they'd risen up and started fighting the guards themselves? That would result in a bloodshed.
He looked back at his people with an apologetic smile.
But they weren't satisfied, no, they had started to rally even more when they noticed he'd actually considered their proposition. Someone started shouting his name, and more people joined. They wanted to see. They wanted to see their Vlad Voda fight one last time.
Vlad again eyed the surrounding, his eyes narrowing in focus as he was taking assessment of his situation. Then he smiled with a playful smile. Truly, there was no chance. But he himself was curious - how many soldiers he could take down before they'd overpower him? One? Two? Five? It was surely a challenge with conditions like this, especially since his own arms were still tied behind his back. But he always rose up to a good challenge!
And if this was the wish of his people, he'll hear out their call! All his life was tied down with responsibility, but maybe now, moments before his own end, he could let himself be free. He deserved at least that one short moment of freedom.
So be it then!
He gave his people a mischievous smile as his old fighting spirit was rekindled in his green eyes. The crowd had noticed and held their breath with excitement. But the guards, who didn't see his face, didn't notice. And so he striked!
In one fast moment, quick as the strike of lightning and just as deadly, he'd butted the head of a soldier next to him with his forehead. The soldier shrieked out with pain as his nose broke and sprayed him with shower of blood. Before the other soldier had even time to notice what happened, Vlad had already managed to slam with full force into his belly with his shoulder, effectively bringing the soldier to the ground. The crowd cheered loudly. Seeing Vlad fighting was a symphony to behold. Vlad was always an excellent fighter, there wasn't anyone who could've bested him in one to one combat. Even here, overwhelmed, his moves were lightning fast, and his hits powerful and resourceful too. When he couldn't use his arms - as they were tied behind his back - he used his feet instead, kicking with deadly precision at the weakest points in the soldiers defences, who weren't prepared for such an unorthodox attack from below. While they were trying to grab him, he'd kicked them out of balance, toppling them to the ground before they could even use their weapons. Vlad had moved with the swift elegance of a deadly dancer, dancing between their pole arms and using his legs, head and shoulders to carry out strikes. He even managed to make use of his elbows, restricted that they were. And at one moment he made a soldier run away while only using his fierce expression, he was proud of that one!
No less than eleven soldiers were out before one managed to hit Vlad in the back of his head with the pommel of a sword, bringing him to his knees. Another five soldiers clasped him, taking a hold of every inch of his body should he find a way to use that in a fight somehow. The crowd shouted with disappointment. Vlad gave them one last look, an apologetic smile across his face, as if he was saying "I did the best I could, but the odds weren't in my favour. Forgive me.
But thank you. It was fun."
With the corner of his eye he saw the massive blade of the executioner's sword swing. He bowed his head in reverence, accepting his fate with grace.
And then, just a moment before the sword fell and severed his head from his body, one single tear dropped from his eye. It had the vivid colour of blood - a condition he was affected by since childhood. The scarlet tear contrasted brightly with his pale face as it made its way across his cheek, found a way through his beard, until it reached his chin and from there dripped on the soil of his kingdom.
It wasn't a tear spilled over a sadness of his life, or the cruelty of his fate.
It was a tear mourning what could've been but wasn't to be anymore.
And as his enemy has grasped his raven black hair and lifted his severed head for all the people to see, the face of Vlad Draculea had for one last time looked down at his people. And on his face has been clearly strewn his last expression, now etched there for the rest of eternity. It showed his people kind smile, yet his brow was full of courage, his fighting spirit staying alive even while his own soul has left the mortal plane.
Because his face told to his people this last message:
"We have lived. We have fought. And it was worth it!"
And his people have never forgotten this. Outside of his realm he became known as the sadistic tyrant from the woodcut-printed stories. But his OWN people have never forgotten who he really was. Even as the dent of time has stripped down every living memory of him, deep down they remembered.
Even 550 years later.
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~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~Ā°~
Made in thank you to the marvelous community around the real Vlad Draculea. The illustrious Corpus Draculianum, working tirelessly on finding new knowledge about Vlad, buried in old documents and archaeological sites. For their dedication in clearing Vladā€™s name in the eye of the public, fighting against vampiric monsters and child-eating tyrants, however impossible a task that seems to be. And also as thank you to the Vlandom, the amazing community which celebrates what could Vlad teach us still, and in their works, be it written stories or memes, make him live once again.
ā€¦ And last but not least:
Mulțumesc, Măria Ta.
.
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leclercvsx Ā· 1 year ago
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Show off | SMAU
LANDO NORRIS
pairings: Lando x footballer!reader
summary: Lando is dating reader, whoā€™s a football player for arsenal WFC & Lionessā€™ and Lando isnā€™t shy when it comes to reminding people that he is readers boyfriend.
warnings: storylines do not add up, iā€™m pretty much making them up on the spot!
face claim: Alessia Russo (loml)
note: I KNOW IM LATE BUT OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE LANDO WON HIS FIRST RACE!!!I WAS SCREAMING WHEN HE CROSSED THAT LINEšŸ˜­
masterlist | requests open
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris, ellatoone, lionesses and 52,726 others
yourusername: Evenings at WembleyāœØOnly onwards and upwards from hereļæ½ļ潚Ÿ’•
landonorris: my girlfriend everyone, look at her gošŸ˜šŸ˜
leahwilliamson: i donā€™t know what sheā€™s told you, but sheā€™s MY girlfriendšŸ˜
ellatoone: i think youā€™ve both been mistaken, sheā€™s actually my girlfriend
landonorris: i will fight both of you (virtually because i would never hit a womanšŸ™šŸ¼)
yourusername: calm down girls, thereā€™s plenty of me to go aroundšŸ˜›
lionesses: šŸ¦ā¤ļø
carlossainz: Great game Y/n! Lando made sure all of us watched it
yourusername: thank you, Carlos! iā€™m sorry Lando put you through thatšŸ˜”
danielricciardo: donā€™t be sorry, Y/n. We loved watching you playšŸ™šŸ¼
liked by yourusername
fan1: Lando forcing the grid to watch the Lionessā€™s games sounds so funny to mešŸ˜­šŸ˜­
ā€”ā€”
landonorris
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 1,263,372 others
landonorris: Celebrating my first win AND celebrating my girlfriend winning her matchšŸ™šŸ¼šŸ§”
tagged: yourusername, mclaren
yourusername: IM SO PROUD OF YOU
yourusername: You deserve this!!!
yourusername: itā€™s also very sweet that you included my win, BUT THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOUšŸ§”šŸ§”
landonorris: your wins are my wins and my wins are your winsā¤ļø
oscarpiastri: that was cringe
leahwilliamson: i agree with pastry
oscarpiastri: thanks but that is NOT my name
yourusername: it is now x
carlossainz55: congrats, you deserve itšŸ’Ŗ
liked by landonorris
mclaren: hereā€™s to many morešŸ§”
ā€”ā€”
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 52,827 others
yourusername: enjoyed the off-season with this muppet, time to get back to trainingšŸ’Ŗ
tagged: landonorris
landonorris: i miss you
yourusername: itā€™s been less than 24 hours since we last saw eachother
landonorris: i miss you
leahwilliamson: im gonna enjoy seeing you everyday and rubbing it in Landoā€™s facešŸ˜…
landonorris: i hate you
leahwilliamson: your girlfriends about to become mine
landonorris: backšŸ¤ŗoffšŸ¤ŗ
yourusername: Leah, be nicešŸ‘€
francisca.cgomes: gonna miss seeing you in the paddock :(
yourusername: iā€™m gonna miss you toošŸ˜”
lilymhe: donā€™t worry, weā€™ll all be there for that world cup finalšŸ˜‰
yourusername: hopefully we make itšŸ˜…
carmenmmundt: you WILL make it, weā€™re manifesting it
fan1: the way the wags interact with heršŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
fan2: i KNOW itā€™s so cute
fan3: well she is a wag too, letā€™s not forget
ā€”ā€”
landonorris added to their story
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yourusername replied: i love youšŸ˜­šŸ˜­
landonorris: i love you tooā¤ļø
fan1 replied: sheā€™s so cute omg
lilymhe replied: sheā€™s gonna smash the world cup
leahwilliamson replied: she went out with me before you by the way
landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE
ā€”ā€”
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 173,372 others
yourusername: absolutely gutted and heartbroken, but it just wasnā€™t meant to be. Iā€™m so unbelievably proud and grateful to be apart of this special team. No one else i would want to be on this journey withšŸ¤
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone that came out to support us and those of you at home who have supported us from the very start. Weā€™ll all cherish these memories forever.
For now weā€™ll all rest up and recover and come back better than everšŸ¦šŸ¤
alexgreenwood5: ā¤ļø
1maryearps: ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
keirawalsh: ā¤ļø
landonorris: you did great baby, youā€™ll win the next onešŸ«¶
carlossainz55: you did very well!
lilymhe: you did unbelievably well, Y/n. The next time you will win, i swearā¤ļø
yourusername: thanks guys, sorry i disappointed you allā¤ļø
landonorris: stop that. you didnā€™t disappoint anyone.
fan1: iā€™m sobbing
fan2: you were great, it just wasnā€™t meant to be :(
ā€”ā€”
landonorris added to their story
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yourusername replied: thank you for everything
landonorris: no need to thank meā¤ļø
leahwilliamson replied: as much as i hate to admit it, iā€™m glad youā€™re taking care of her
fan1 replied: thatā€™s so cute
danielricciardo replied: you are such a simp
landonorris: shut the fuck up
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
iā€™m so proud of Landoā€™s first win. i was literally SCREAMING when he won. i didnā€™t wanna jinx it so i kept my cool and was just focusing on the gap between him and max but when he crossed that line me and my friend screamed and clappedšŸ˜­šŸ˜­
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cutielando Ā· 1 year ago
Note
Hi ! hope you're having a great day/evening/night,
I had an idea for a smau with someone on the f1 grid (it can be anyone but I have a preference for either Oscar or Logan), so I'm a fan of the bands Ghost and Sleep Token, which is something so very different from f1 and I kept wondering what would happen if those fandom where to merge together, so the request basically is that the reader is in a band like ghost or sleep token and they're dating one of the guys on the grid, and so those 2 very different fandom meet,
so like how would they interact and all, or maybe there would be some people that are in both fandoms, idk
there's no pressure for you to make it if you have no idea of how to do it or if you simply don't want to <3
rock star girlfriend | oscar piastri
social media au
synopsis: in which Oscar has a cool girlfriend
pairing: oscar piastri x rock singer!reader
my masterlist
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sleep_token Another night to remember
view all 10,385 comments
yourusername such a unique experience šŸ¤
sleepingdreaming sleep token never disappoints
sleep_token We live to please.
sleepingdreaming šŸ˜­šŸ˜­i can die happy now
user1 they are really something
logansargeant very special night indeed šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø
user2 excuse me? LOGAN SARGEANT AT A SLEEP TOKEN CONCERT?
user3 their concerts seem so much fun :(((
user4 they are the best, the energy they being to every performance is like nothing i have ever seen before
user5 does anyone know who the members are?
user4 no, theyā€™re completely anonymous. the only thing we could really say is that they have a girl and the rest of them are men but thatā€™s kinda it šŸ˜…
user6 super amazing night ā¤ļøā¤ļø
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formula1gossippofficial New couple alert? šŸšØ Logan Sargeant and Oscar Piastri were spotted attending a Sleep Token concert last night in Australia. The McLaren driver was seen getting cozy with an unknown woman the entire night and reports said they disappeared from the concert together in the late hours of the night. What do we think? šŸ¤”
view all 1,925 comments
user1 maybe we should let him live his life?
user2 i never thought i would hear Oscar Piastri and Sleep Token used in the same sentence šŸ˜…
sleepingdreaming i can confirm they were there, seemed to have had a lot of fun as well
user3 is it true that he was with a girl there?
sleepingdreaming yes, they seemed very close too. logan seemed to be more of a third wheel than anything else to be honest šŸ˜‚
op81fan she must be very special to make Oscar go out and stay that late on a race weekendšŸ¤”šŸ¤”
user4 the fact that he never goes out before a race and now he did and was seen with a girl in public makes me think she is hella special šŸ‘€
iMessage
yournameā¤ļø
did you see the pictures?
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
i did
iā€™m sorry, i should have known there were gonna be paparazzi all over town last night
yournameā¤ļø
babe, i donā€™t mind
i wanna be seen with you
i just donā€™t want people to figure out iā€™m in the band or anything, it would ruin the whole anonymity thingy lol
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
iā€™ll protect youā¤ļø
iā€™ll make sure nobody figures it out
yournameā¤ļø
in the meantime, wanna have some fun with the fans?šŸ˜ˆ
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
what did you have in mind?
yournameā¤ļø
šŸ˜ˆšŸ˜ˆšŸ‘€šŸ‘€šŸ‘€
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yourusername melbourne, you're a gem
view all 291 comments
yourbff damn girl
yourusername
logansargeant i see what you did there
yourusername impressive, right?
oscarpiastri must be a special city
yourusername some pretty special fellas roaming around the streets as well
oscarpiastri that's really interesting. tell me more
yourusername that would be inappropriate
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 491,296 others
oscarpiastri music is coolā€¼ļø
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user1 OSCAR???????
user2 WHO IS THAT?????
logansargeant you're getting better at this
oscarpiastri i've been taking lessons to make sure i don't screw it upšŸ˜ƒ
yourusername damn ;)
oscarpiastri šŸ˜ˆ
sleepingdreaming this fandom merge is wiiiiiild
user3 DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T???
sleepingdreaming maybeeeee...šŸ‘€šŸ‘€
user4 i never thought i would see Oscar being into rock
landonorris i don't believe that's you
oscarpiastri you can believe whatever you want
landonorris hmmm
yourusername you better believe itšŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø
landonorris you could spare me the details, thank you
mclaren We didn't know how to feel about this, but we're starting to love it!šŸ§” liked by oscarpiastri and yourusername
iMessage
yournameā¤ļø
do you think we should tell them?
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
do you want to tell everyone?
i completely understand if youā€™re not ready yet
itā€™s a lot of pressure being seen with me
the fans are crazy
yournameā¤ļø
have you seen my fans, babe?šŸ˜‚
they are just like yours, if not worse sometimes
they just want to protect both of us
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
so you want to make things official?
come to the paddock as my girlfriend?
yournameā¤ļø
i think it's time we tell the world
it just sucks nobody in your world is really going to know who i am
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
i thought your friends didn't know who you are?
yournameā¤ļø
they have suspicions
i think that deep down, they know who we all are
but nobody says anything because we've built our image on being anonymous
it's like knowing but without saying it out loud, you know
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
so your fans will know you're dating an F1 driver but mine won't know i'm dating the lead singer of Sleep Token?
yournameā¤ļø
pretty much, yeah
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
so coolā¤ļø
okay, i'll post a picture of us then
yournameā¤ļø
be careful which pictures you post
i wanna look good :(
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
babe
you look good in every photo i have of you
yournameā¤ļø
awwwwwww
i love you my koala bearšŸØšŸØā¤ļø
oscaršŸØā¤ļø
i love you too my rockstar girlā¤ļø
Instagram
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oscarpiastri got bored of soft-launching tagged: yourusername
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yourusername staaaaawp
yourusername i love you so much ā¤ļøā¤ļø
oscarpiastri i love you more šŸ§”
logansargeant iā€™m surprised you managed to keep it a secret for this long to be honest
oscarpiastri you need to stop underestimating me, you know
yourusername i didnā€™t think we would be able to pull it off eitherā€¦
oscarpiastri ā‰ļøā‰ļø
yourusername sorryyyyyyyyy
landonorris i am very hurt that i wasnā€™t aware you are in a relationship
yourusername we were literally introducedā€¦
oscarpiastri i literally told you about her
landonorris ā€¦oh
yourbff my favorite couple ā¤ļø
yourusername ā¤ļøā¤ļø
nicolepiastri i canā€™t wait to see you guys tonight!!ā¤ļø
yourusername we canā€™t wait either!!!ā¤ļø
user1 I KNEW IT
user2 ITTY BITTY OSCAR HAS A GF????šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
sleepingdreaming ā¤ļø i love seeing it
user3 WHAT DO YOU KNOW???????
sleepingdreaming i canā€™t say šŸ„²šŸ«¶šŸ»
user4 THEY ARE SO CUŠ¢Š•šŸ˜­ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
user5 he looks so happy šŸ„¹šŸ„¹
georgerussell63 sheā€™s really a gem
oscarpiastri sheā€™s amazing, isnā€™t she? so talented as well
yourusername youā€™re making me blush šŸ«¶šŸ»šŸ«¶šŸ»šŸ«¶šŸ»
user6 never thought i would see Oscar dating a rocker girl
user7 why not? he loves her regardless of that
user6 i know !!! i didnā€™t mean it in a bad way, itā€™s just really cute how they seem to be opposites but getting along great
user8 she really seems to be helping Oscar get out of his comfort zone
sleep_token ā¤ļø liked by yourusername and oscarpiastri
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birdmitosis Ā· 1 month ago
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What are your opinions on selfcest?
(I need to answer so many asks in my inbox... I'm sorry this is late! I will be late again/some more!!)
But I really wanted to finally get around to this one because I actually have some very specific thoughts on selfcest, which is that I feel like it would be... not necessarily "more liked," because people like what they like and are into what they're into, people are squicked by what they're squicked by, etc... but seen as less scandalous if it didn't have "-cest" as part of the name.
To elaborate, I don't think it has any similarities to incest unless the specific individual characters in question outright do think of their "other selves" in a familial way. In many cases this just isn't the case, however -- the relationship doesn't map that way in canon itself, or the other selves are totally noncanonical in the first place. I can think of some exceptions (Galerians, where almost all the clones of one particular person think of one another as siblings, including the one who was raised separately and didn't know about any of that so doesn't feel a sibling bond with them but they still seem to consider him one) but in many cases, that's just not what's going on. It's clones, or a changeling, or a time loop, or a multiverse, or something else where the canon doesn't portray them as feeling any sort of familial bond -- and where sometimes the canon actually outright makes a point to show or talk about how different they are.
And to explain even further... I think my view on selfcest is influenced by the fact that for a couple of decades now, my views on selfhood have been such that... I don't think "self"cest inherently feels self enough to feel offputting to me, either. Yes, you can have situations where someone looks at a clone or alternate universe version of themself and goes "that's 100% me" in a way that never really treats the other like their own person, and in that case it wouldn't appeal to me... But even since I was a teenager, I've always considered that if one person was suddenly two people, the second person unavoidably becomes their own person from the moment of separation, the moment either of them says or does anything that starts to develop them in a different direction from the other. And a lot of the time "selfs" in selfcest are even more different than that: Think of the Spider-Verse movies, for instance, or the possible interactions between a Transformer and their alternate universe selves if you crossed some of the cartoons and comics together. Pavitr Prabhakar and Peter B. Parker just do not feel like the same person; neither do EarthSpark Arcee and Transformers Animated Arcee and IDW comics Arcee.
TL;DR though, uh, I have to assume you're asking me because of Slay the Princess. šŸ˜… In which case that was a really long and roundabout way of saying... Honestly, I don't even think "selfcest" applies in STP. (Mostly, at least.) While the voices are all parts of the Long Quiet (and the vessels are all parts of the Shifting Mound), they are different enough people that they necessitate their own names, they have different relationships with one another, they disagree with one another to the point of dislike at times, their actions if they could act on their own would be VERY different, and especially once they have their own bodies I just don't register them as the same person anymore. And I truly think the game backs me up on this, because... the Shifting Mound and the Long Quiet also used to be the same being originally. Go back far enough and arguably any ship that isn't the Narrator/one of the other characters is selfcest! But it so doesn't feel that way to me, not even to the extent that most people mean it.
I have the occasional selfcest ship, but long story short, voices shipping and vessel shipping doesn't actually feel like selfcest to me at all* if that makes sense.
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azes-ocean Ā· 5 months ago
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Sweetest Revenge
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Tw: Wanderer angst no comfort, SFW Warnings: Spoilers for Sumeru quest, su1cidal thoughts, su1cide (reader), hate, strong words, never really stated this but english isnā€™t my first language, and it might be more prevalent here because I couldnā€™t reread it šŸ˜… check tags for more An: I hope you like it. Sorry it took so long to answer the requestšŸ’ž School has been keeping me really busy for tests.šŸ˜­ I'm sorry if its bad I didn't reread or proofread this.šŸ„¹šŸ«¶šŸ«¶
Summary: Scaramouche of the fatui harbingers was someone you loathed with all your heart. Except he doesnā€™t exist anywhere except in mere memory. Is it fair for you to hate The Wanderer instead?
ā€Scaramoucheā€¦ā€ you hiss, your smile already falling from your face, slipping into a cold expression full of hate. The man infront of you was undoubtably the same on who haunted your dreams at night. The same one you thought you had started to get over after comfort from the new family you found.
Scaramouche, 6th Of The Fatui Harbingers.
Or in other words, the murderer of your parents.
You could still remember happily calling for your parents as you enter the house, excited to show your new project from school, already ready to be swung in their warm arms as they called you talented, smart and gifted.
Instead, you were greeted with the sight of the walls of the living room you had shared your moments with your parents drenched in red, crimson splashes staining the carpet and walls.
Andā€¦
ā€œMother! Father! Whats happening!?ā€ You cried, running towards the place where you heard their voice, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes as you pushed open the door slowly. Yout parents were on their knees, two scary men pointing sharp things at them as they seemed to be begging, tears in their eyes as they turned to you, shocked.
And you were horrified.
Your father was breathing slowly, his hand on a gaping wound stretching over his stomach. Your mother seemed only half conscious, her arm basically in shreds, her favorite pink dress was stained and torn.
ā€œM-mommy? D-daddy?ā€ You whisper, your eyes widening as you tried to approach them, quickly being stopped by two of the men who put their arm infront of you, casting your parents a dark glance.
Grownups just had a weird way of communicating, right? Mommy and Daddy are just secretly talking with this person to-to- to throw a surprise party! These people were your parents friends, and this is just a normal grown up thin-
A gunshot echoed through the room.
You couldnā€™t even hear your own scream, overpowered with the fear thrumming in your ears and skull.
It was only later you found out the harbinger Scaramouche was at fault.
So you thoroughly convinced yourself that it was all his fault- it was when you were tired of hating yourself, blaming yourself.
But hate and guilt so deeprooted never disappears.
Its only passed on or redirected.
It was all his fault
ā€œDo I know you?ā€ Scaramouche huffed, sighing. He crossed his arms, his eyes showing how seemingly disinterested he was.
ā€œYou probably mistook me. Iā€™m The Wanderer.ā€ He grumbled, pulling his hat down and looking exasperated, his eyes sharpening to look at you.
You felt your jaw clench, holding the urge to throw the nearest item at him or atleast smack his idiotic face with it.
ā€œVery. Funny.ā€ You managed, your gaze still staring him down with utter disgust. This scum on earth. Ofcourse he didnā€™t know you. Of course he thought he could go erase himself from Irmin-whatever and all his sins were forgiven.
Really, what did you expect from this man? An apology? Some guilt? Maybe some empathy?
Hah. You had overestimated him, hadenā€™t you? You didnā€™t even get recognition.
I mean, I suppose why would he care about just another child from the victims of his horrorendous crimes?
ā€œSo a joke? I donā€™t have time for jokes. I have homework.ā€ He said, shrugging as if the matter was over. Done with.
But no. It wasnā€™t. Maybe this interaction should be though. Get this ugly hat-topped dwarf out of your sight.
So you bade him a smileless goodbye, simply muttering out the words and leaving.
ā€”
It was incredibly reaccuring after that interaction, youā€™d always have thoughts of revenge, yet never daring to do it. It was as if your hand was on a loaded gun's trigger, yet you couldn't bring yourself to pull it. You had convinced yourself it was just due to the fact you were scared it would fail, that it might misfire. But only you knew, deep in your heart, you already begrudgingly admitted this was hardly the same person who had ordered your parents exterminated. ā€” You were scared. Of Scaramouche? Of course not. Never. You had long steeled yourself against him. Your scared of the person you becoming. A cold hearted killer, just like him You had already made several plans of revenge against him- poision, sabotage, lies anything to make him suffer like you did. Anything to make him feel the pain you felt that day. You hated him. You despised him. But you never went through with it. You didn't want to kill someone, you wanted to believe he had gotten better. But he had killed your parents. He coudn't get away scotch-free. You wouldn't let him. You couldn't let him. Why were you like this? You had always been patient, bubbly and strong, not a hateful mess with a mind filled with only bloody vengeance. "I hate you..." You murmured quietly, blinking back your tears as you clenched your fists so tightly you felt it bleed. "I hate you....I hate you..." You repeated like mantra, tears threatening to spill with every word. You hated how he had mercilessly ordered your parents death. You hated how annoying and uncaring he was. You hated how he seemed to be so free of the past now whilst you were drowning in it. You hated, you hated how you felt he didn't deserve to die. You hated how you didn't want to hate his anymore. That... Idiot. ā€” Those thoughts swirled unrelentingly in your head as you looked down, at your feet, biting your lip so hard you swore it bled. You held your vision in your hand-the symbol of the oath you had made to avenge your parents. "I'm sorry mother, father...I'm so...so...sorry." You choked out, tears welling in your eyes. Right. The vision, the gift from the archons that you had interpreted as them giving you the power to take revenge for everything you lost. What was its meaning now when you couldn't even convince yourself to go along with it? What made you so special your parents had died while you had survived? You didn't deserve this. A mere bratty child who's only thing on their mind was how to get enough candy for the day didn't deserve to live over your parents who had carried your world on their shoulders. So you didn't deserve to be here. You really didn't. And so you prayed to the archons that they would forgive you, they would accept you giving everything away. But deep in your heart, you didn't care. All you cared about was to be able to restore those days with your parents, the days of boundless bliss. So you jumped.
Thank you guys for the support šŸ«¶šŸ¼šŸ«¶šŸ¼ Requests are still open.
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hehehe-being-nice-anonomously Ā· 11 months ago
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Okay, so basically, I don't talk to people on here. At all. Ever. I just float around watching other people have friends and relationships. But, I'm also to socially awkward to actually try to have friends online(or irl tbh); so instead. I decided to make a one time use sideblog to tag a bunch of people who are mutuals or who I follow that mean a lot to me, interact with my posts a lot(or you used to), or I just appreciate seeing on my dash. Yall are fucking amazing and you make the world a better place. I would love to be friends with all if you, but honestly for some reason I'm overthinking it way too much šŸ™ƒ. You guys make me happy, you make me smile, you make me laugh, and you improve my day every day. You are handpicked from my followed blogs as my favorites šŸ˜…. I want you to know that you're appreciated greatly. Keep yourselves safe and healthy and happy. Don't try to find out who I am, just take the message. Keep spreading happiness in the world šŸ„°. I love yallā¤(also I'm really nervous I forgot some people, so if you happen to see this at all, you can take this message and pass it on too)
@nightgoodomens @chronic-pessimist @frenchfryqueen69 @paintedp0rtraitgirl @bassguitarinablackt-shirt @theshyqueergirl @anne-is-okay @weirdly-specific-but-ok @fuckingayassbitch @ineffablebookgirl @proudlyunicorn @gleerant @smartsxylacyy @alexthescaredenby @meerealsssss @stars-over-ice-cream @a-wondering-thought @i-will-sing-no-requiem @theres-an-endless-starry-sky @pessimistic-gh0st @moonysfavoritetoast @dyeinggoosenoises @fourwingedsnake @in-the-sweet-november-rain @demonicsymphony @halucynator @s0lit4ir3 @dumbass-lesbian @mx-typewriter @professional-termite @fuckyeahgoodomens @indecisivebitch3000 @thediamondarcher @5ducksinatrenchcoat @ava-taylors-version @rissipluto @sparksssflytv @cyanide-sodapop @lunabelova1122 @trolliworms @radioxlast @accio-atticus @loaf-of-soup @neck-thats-made-for-bruising @sandwichfilledwithbees @person4924 @occasionally-wise-boy @starchaser-lily @blunt-force-therapy @my-castles-crumbling
It's not letting my tag the rest of yall so I'll reblog w/ the rest. Give me a minute (sorry)
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