#Somebody write this for me please

[terresdebrume]

Concept: The DBDA Characters in a modern AU meet as a D&D group. Niko is the experienced DM with a lot of ideas, and Edwin is her long time friend and player.

Edwin plays a Moon Circle druid because it's the only class he hasn't really tried out before, and he wants to give tanking a go. He also accidentally ends up in charge of onboarding Charles, the nice beginner who's mostly here to support his bestie. Edwin color codes the various sections of Charles' character sheet & helps him remember which type of dice is witch.

Crystal plays a bard and comes up with zingers for her vicious mockery that makes the whole table collapse in laughter. For the BBEG, she even comes ready with dozens of haikus insulting him, his fashion choices, his mom, and the quality of his magic.

Charles starts out as a barbarian but realizes he's not comfortable with the rage mechanic and sunsets his first character pretty quickly. Everyone expects him to leave because he's seemed uncomfortable most of the time, but when he comes back as a paladin he surprises the whole table by getting really into the roleplay, coming up with a new voice and a specific accent and everything.

Monty plays a Circle of Stars Druid because it's also his first campaign and he likes the astrology theme. He ends up as the party's main healer a bit by accident, but he gets really competent at it and the party relies on him a lot, so his character's betrayal and departure from the group (when he has to leave to study abroad for a while) shocks everyone and they're all quite incensed about it.

When Monty comes back a year later, he brings along his boyfriend Thomas, whose Tabaxi character is a Grave Cleric and first introduced as the guy who brings an almost dead [Monty's character] to the Party's doorstep for protection. The return kicks off the final arc of the campaign and introduces the first in game romance, which ends up making everybody cry.

On the second campaign, Charles decides he can't let himself be outdone by the annoying american (no offense, Crystal) and announces that he's going to romance someone too. This can go one of two ways:

Crystal also finds Thomas annoying and plays along, and she and Charles end up roleplaying a romance for the ages that weirdly ends their on/off relationship when they realize their characters are more in love than they are, and/or

Crystal Does Not Want to be involved in the rooster fight and makes her character a lesbian on purpose, leaving Charles to romance the only character available: Edwin's.

Shenanigans ensure either way.

[apatheticsunday]

Fatherless Behavior

AKA "Danny Fenton is actually Batman and Catwoman's son. He likes his bio mother a lot more than his billionaire furry bio father, and Bruce is just trying to be a good dad to another surprise kid" prompt idea!

I like the idea of Madeline and Jack Fenton being good parents who love their kids so much. Maybe Danny still got zapped by the ecto-portal and died, but he immediately went to his parents and they helped him adjust to being Half-Dead. So, obviously, if he's old enough to die, he's old enough to be told the truth. Maddy and Jack adopted Danny from a woman named Selina Kyle, who's contact information state she's in Gotham City and willing to re-connect with Danny when/if he's comfortable.

Maybe Danny says he's okay, doesn't need to know who his biological parents are, because Maddy and Jack are enough for him. But it's also okay to be curious, right? He's like... seventeen or eighteen at this point. So, he says he's going to tour Gotham-U and maybe, possibly hunt down his birth mother if he has some extra time.

Fast forward to him standing in front of a very posh apartment complex, the doorman refusing to let him in, and he's incredibly embarrassed. There's an older couple coming out the doors. The older man looks like he's going to walk over, possibly intervene, so Danny just begs asks the doorman, "Can you please just call Selina Kyle? I'm her son."

And Bruce, who's having date-night with Selina, nearly passes out. Because under the bright lights of Selina's apartment lobby, this kid looks exactly like the perfect mix of Bruce and Selina. He's got his father's unruly black hair, Selina's catlike blue eyes, and has several dark freckles on his neck like Damian. So... this is a Not Great situation because Selina had a kid behind his back?? Selina's gripping his wrist like a panther with an antelope's jugular and says, "Not in front of the child, Bruce." And if there's one thing Batman is good at, it's keeping his cool (or pretending to).

They all end up in Batburger with Selina and Bruce looking comically overdressed while Danny's in ripped jeans and a NASA hoodie.

Selina is kind. She got pregnant and then Bruce was presumed dead (Batman's Time Stream incident lasted how long?? I feel like 9 months is reasonable, right?), and she wasn't prepared to be a single mother. She also hadn't wanted Danny to have a criminal for a mother ("Wait, what??"), but didn't feel comfortable aborting.

"Our relationship can be whatever you want it to be, Danny. I'm not trying to replace your mom. I'm just here to help if you want." She doesn't try to touch him, doesn't treat him like a kid, just speaks calmly and respectfully to him.

Bruce, unfortunately, isn't as tactful. He begins with: "And I have an extra room in the Wayne Manor. I can pay for your tuition at Gotham-U, get you a job at Wayne Enterprise, and introduce you to my kids. Tim would like you, you're about the same age-" before Selina shoves an elbow into his side. The damage is already done, though. Danny practically shoves from the table (after slipping two Batburgers into his hoodie pocket since clearly Mr. Money-Bags can afford it, the presumptuous asshole).

"I came here to talk with my mother, Mr. Wayne. I don't want your money or to be a nepo baby at your company." Danny snarls a sarcastic little thanks before hauling ass to his hotel, muttering about rude-ass rich folk.

(Selina, still at the diner with Bruce: Look at what you've done! You've scared our son off!

Bruce: Maybe if you told me I had a son, I could've been more prepared for a surprise visit!

Selina: Maybe if you stayed dead like everybody thought you were, you wouldn't be surprised that I had a son. You weren't there!

A squeaky noise can be heard. It's a waitress trying to quietly write on a whiteboard that says "Days Without a Wayne Argument". The tally is changed from 4 to 0.)

Anyway, I want Selina to be more like a Cool Aunt instead of a mom. She gets that Danny already has a maternal figure in his life, doesn't really want someone Mother Henning him, so she becomes a safe space for him to let go. Watches the Neil deGrasse Tyson docuseries, offers him wine during girl's nights, lets him rant about how unsure he is of the future without giving unsolicited advice.

Danny pretty much sees Bruce and is like, it's on sight, old man. Bruce sends an expensive telescope to his house. It gets sent back with a book that says "How to Know When to Give Up: For Dummies". Bruce tries to catch Danny while going to Selina's apartment and Danny screams stranger danger so loudly that Bruce is momentarily worried he accidentally accosted the wrong teenager. Danny makes a comment about "another billionaire frootloop wanting to keep me in his basement" and Bruce is even more concerned now. He responds with, "Daniel, I would not keep you in my basement." Yeah... that definitely didn't help.

Oddly enough, Danny is now also being harassed by Batman and his Bat Cult.

[lazylittledragon]

ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????

[buckingham-ashtray]

Not Them still haunting me even on my hike.

More than one hundred miles away from home and I am still unable to escape Them. Not even physically.

I can't anymore. THEY WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE.

(keep away from my tags

[eloquent-edits]

🗡️ “That time of the month again?”

because we all know that periods suck and characters are not immune to the horrors 🗡️ prompt list of comforting actions

Character A is bedridden from the cramps and Character B becomes their living heating pad (cuddles with arms wrapped around the waist >>>>)

B buys A their favorite chocolates a couple days before their period starts and keeps beverages with electrolytes on hand

A takes a day off to rest, bingewatch some episodes of a good show, and care for themselves (maybe do some yoga, and by yoga I mean curl up in the fetal position for a couple hours)

B thinks that making a nice bath for A will help and prepares everything for when A gets home (A laughs and explains why that’s not a great idea)

Searching for Shark Week’s episodes online to deal with shark week in person, but getting distracted by cute animal shows

B can’t be there for A in person so they send A $30 to cover extra snacks and/or medicine

Instead of getting emotional over posts online, A digs out an old book series and gets emotional over that (they are reliving their childhood, they swear it’s cathartic THEY SWEAR)

A can’t sleep with the back pain so B gives them a light back massage with several check-ins to make sure the noises are in relief and not pain

B keeps the lights dim and and TV volume low as A battles a headache

All meals are made with ahead of time and cravings humored (“You can’t just eat straight salt.” “I know that, which is why I’m putting all of it on this.”)

A asks for B to get more pads/tampons at the store, B calls and sends many pictures as they try to figure out what will work best for A

B quietly scrubs out any bloodstains from A’s clothes as they do laundry (and they’re really efficient at it, why are they so good at getting blood out of clothing—)

A snuggling up with their pet who knows the exact spot to be in for maximum comfy (B thinks it’s adorable and takes a picture to show A later)

“I’m sorry if I’m not really conversational right now…” “Dude you’re on your period and barely slept last night, you’re good. We don’t have to talk, we can just chill.”

B brings home a machine for homemade ice-cream and all the ingredients needed for A’s favorite flavor (they spend the evening making it and declare a “dessert before dinner” day for when periods strike)

[hitorimaron]

leg brace

[love-bugsy]

just really casually thinking about princess bride au jason todd...

Your diligent farm-boy with his rough hands and soft heart, trailing so close behind you that your father starts to call him your shadow. You call him yours. And he is, isn't he? The careful brush of his hands when he lifts you onto your horse, the storm of his eyes lightening when you slip him one of your novels, the wry grin that he saves just for you.

How could you not find a guilty pleasure in ordering him around just to hear the only words he utters in your presence—"As you wish." He calls it duty but you know it by another name.

Jason has no money for marriage, so he leaves your father's employ for the promise of fortune across the sea. Your protests that you are his regardless go unheard and before long, you stand with him at the edge of your property.

"I fear I'll never see you again," you whisper, fingers tracing the set of his jaw. Your farm-boy looks at you through lidded eyes, pressing his forehead to yours.

"I will always return to you," he mutters against your lips like a prayer.

A letter returned in Jason's place—news that pirates had captured his boat. For days you shutter yourself away, refusing to eat or sleep. The Red Hood takes no prisoners. You float through your life like a ghost, only finding reprieve in your dreamless sleep. The days bleed into months and with every glance behind you met with open air, you are emptied.

Perhaps that is why you don't fight when your father accepts the Prince's request for your hand.

~

The gloved hand clutched around your upper arm releases you, throwing you against rough stone. You reach out blindly with bound hands, scraping against rock in an attempt to balance yourself. The blindfold is ripped from your eyes.

After so long in darkness, the daylight blinds you. Blinking against the light, your eyes adjust to your captor. That blood red hood—hem congealing in the blur of your reunion with sunlight, the sanguineous stain of hundreds of victims. Mottled scars mar his exposed chin, sea-green eyes stony when you tear your gaze away from them. Face to face with your farm-boy's killer.

His mouth sets in a hard line as you scrabble to find your footing on rain-slick grass. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. The Red Hood takes no prisoners.

Your eyes dart around at your surroundings – a mountain-top, wind buffeting you from all angles – and when they find his again there's a sick pity in them. The kind you feel for a butterfly in a jar—freedom surrounding it, but nowhere to escape.

You stare at him, eyes remaining unflinchingly open in the face of death—he tells you Jason died nobly and if your hands weren’t pulled tight behind your back, you’d slap him. You settle for kicking your leg out into his shin, eyes dark. Huffing out a dark chuckle, he steps towards you, something like pain flashing across his face when you flinch. You endure the venom in his gravelly voice, bowing under insult after insult. It's only when he accuses you of disloyalty that you snap, standing to face him.

"—I died that day!" Voice cracking over the words, you stand, wrists chafing red raw against the rope that pulls your arms taut. You stumble forward, waterlogged skirt weighing you down and—it's so strange how the pirate seems to freeze, fingers twitching as if to reach out and steady you.

You can't imagine how you must look to him—damsel in a sodden dress, a dried trail of blood down your neck from where your previous captors' blade nicked you, hair whipping wildly in the gale that threatens to send you over the mountain. "And so can you for all I care!" Lunging forward, you shove your shoulder into his chest, sending him careening off the cliffside. You feel righteous for a split second, until a shout echoes over the hillside.

"As—you—wish!”

And when Jason admonishes you for throwing yourself after him – wandering hands checking you for injury – you lean forward, fitting your mouth against his and letting him bring you back to life.

[imfinereallyy]

some of us, and I’m not naming names, need to start being properly tagged on fics.

Angst: Is it me?

No.

Unhappy Ending: Is it me?

……it’s not Angst.

[cyclogenesis]

hugh jackman/ryan reynolds/blake lively throuple post here we go

So, as a disclaimer, I've never known a single thing in my entire life and I'm not about to start now. That said, here are a bunch of reasons why, if like thirty years from now some tell-all comes out about how they were all in a relationship with each other, I'll be like, "Yes, that is what I suspected. They were not all that subtle about it, tbh."

I just want to start you off with this because it's so, so fucking cute. They're all at the It Ends With Us premiere and Blake and Ryan are getting their pictures taken together, you know, as they do, and then you can see Ryan say "Where's Hugh?" and Blake grabs him to pull him into the shot and then they giggle at each other and it's just, man, they all so obviously adore each other. Look, watch the video!

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Adorable. Alright, I'm choosing a random place to jump in because if I try to do this chronologically I'll get too intense about timelines. Bear with me.

So, Hugh spent a lot of time with Blake and Ryan after his divorce was finalized in 2023. A lot.

Here are Ryan and Hugh three days after the split was announced in late September. (x)

They all went to a football game with Taylor Swift shortly after that. (x)

Then they were all together for Hugh's 55th birthday on October 12th. (x)

Through late October they were all spending time with each other still, including at a little house party they all attended with Taylor Swift at Bradley Cooper's place. No pictures of them together but just saying. (x)

Just Hugh's birthday post for Ryan around then...the heart. So true king, couldn't agree more.

Well, people go on social outings with their friends during tough times. Okay. No, totally. I'd just like you to sit with this, from Blake's September 2024 Vogue cover story:

“They are megawatt stars,” Hugh Jackman tells me over the phone from London, talking about Blake and her husband. “These are like old-school megawatt stars…and of course I’ve spent many hours with them, like in pajamas just hanging out in their house with their nine hundred children and dogs and it is just as normal as can be, and Blake will be baking and cooking and saying, ‘Let’s make pizza,’ and then the next thing you turn around,” he says, describing her changing for an event, “and there she is, this incredible star. It’s…it’s astonishing to me.”

Many hours with them, like in pajamas just hanging out in their house...

It's that they're having fucking sleepovers for me. Hugh is a recently single man in his mid-fifties. Do you know a lot of men that age who have sleepovers with their married friends? No, not because he needs a couch to sleep on after the divorce. He has houses. The three of them live in the same fucking city. If Hugh wanted to go home at night it's a...ten minute drive, maybe? (Blake and Ryan are in Tribeca and Hugh's in Chelsea. Yes I looked this up.) Even if he's not staying at their apartment, but at their house in Pound Ridge an hour outside the city (Yes, I looked this up!!), it's not like that's their summer place upstate where friends and fam come to stay for like, a weekend vacation. That's just their fucking house, that's their primary residence. Furthermore, although there is a guest house on that estate (rich people. jesus), I'd like to put forth that you're not going to step out the guest house in your jammies and scamper across the grounds at bedtime. I posit that he just stays in the main house with them for reasons of maximum domesticity.

And just like, again, going off his own words, the scenario here is Hugh in his pajamas seeing Blake get ready to go to an event, presumably not with Ryan, because why would he be lounging watching them both get glammed--so he and Ryan in their comfy clothes observing as she heads out and they stay there together with the kids. (Also supposition here but it would make sense for them to be in the city apartment if there are events to go to...so just once again, in his pajamas because he stayed over even though his own place is ten minutes away. Like.)

Man. Stars...are they just like us?

(Also from that article where Blake talks about 'her love of Jackman': “He’s a guy who will show up for you anytime or place. Whether it’s public or private, that man shows up!” Girl, I bet he does. Also can a man show up if he never leaves in the first place.)

Did I even fucking mention that in the Vogue article in question they called in Hugh to star in a photoshoot with Blake inspired by To Catch A Thief?

Man I fucking guess! With the vision of them playing love interests fresh in your mind, let's just close out this section with more of Hugh enthusing about how gorgeous Blake is:

And she’s, as I said, walking around in pajamas and then five minutes later—it’s Elizabeth Taylor! At the height of her beauty. And you’re like, What? How? And it’s totally…it’s miraculous. It’s a beautiful thing to watch.

Normal way to talk about your best friend's wife. And god we get it, you're all hanging out in your pajamas after sleeping together, in the same house I mean! They're the first people you want to see in the morning and the last people you want to see at night and that's great for you!

But staying with them, okay, I fully accept that like, maybe this is just a thing I don't get as a person who's never had a break-up the recovery from which I felt necessitated spending weeks with my married couple best friends and their multitude of children. I ran across this LaineyGossip post about this time period that I'll excerpt here: In my experience, this is what happens often when someone goes through a breakup – you basically hunker down with your friends. (...) So when I see this scene, of Hugh, Ryan, and Blake, I get it, I know what this is. Or at least I presume I know what this is. For the next little while, Hugh is going to be hunkered down with his boy and Blake.

That is, btw, LaineyGossip of "which could mean nothing" fame. So there's a gift of phrasing here, which must be why "Or at least I presume I know what this is" keeps marquee-ing through my head followed by the neon flashing lights of "his boy".

I don't know, it's interesting. It's just interesting! Aren't you all like "Hmm!"

But maybe you're still like, dude they are just friends. Grown-up married friends can have frequent pajama parties with their newly single best friend. Okay, you're right, maybe they're not all fucking. You know, fine. But it's an indisputable fact that they have thought about it to the point that it's, I think, a running joke between them that they all, you know, could be fucking in some combination. A running joke for at least nine years, because this is from 2016:

Congratulations to the three of them and their jokes about Ryan getting cucked! I think that's really fun. This is also the interview where Ryan tells Hugh that he's "fucking gorgeous" so, whatever in the absolute fuck the three of them are doing I'm just happy to be subjected to their little psychosexual games while they're at it. I for one think their kink is okay and consider it an honor to be non-consensually witnessing it. (gifset link!)

Just, interestingly, Hugh's 55th birthday is not the only one he spent with Ryan. They were also together for his 49th birthday in 2017:

Chatting to Triple J Grill Team, Hugh told the radio panel that his good friend Ryan Reynolds flew all the way to Atlanta just to celebrate his 49th birthday with him. “[I'm] working in Atlanta doing a movie here, and then I’ll go out tonight to a nice steak restaurant with my buddy, with my best mate out here - Ryan Reynolds. He flew in especially," the Wolverine star told the breakfast show. When asked whether or not Ryan was in the area, Hugh told the team: "No he’s just flew in, you know because he’s my best mate and he said I want to be there on your big day."

Listen, all respect to Hugh's marriage. I literally have no idea what the fuck was going on there, I hope he was just happily married for a long time and it was great and it ended amicably and everyone's doing fine. I'm just pointing out that it's low-key crazy work that, from what it sounds like, Hugh was going to be working and wife-less and alone on his birthday, and Ryan was like no, I am going to get on a plane and fly two and a half hours to come and take you out on a nice dinner date for your birthday. And Blake presumably kissed the father of her (at the time) two children and said yes of course you are. Don't let him be wife-less in Atlanta, go get your man.

You know, which isn't to say that there's not from time to time a gentle tug of war between Ryan's wife and husband. Here's a random little post from 2018 where Blake jokes about Ryan loving Hugh more than her. Oh you crazy kids. (Hugh posted that they were all three at the coffee shop later that year!)

Okay here's one that just absolutely kills me. So it's known that Ryan was on set for It Ends With Us a fair bit because, you know...Justin Baldoni is a fucking predator. But I've seen rumors (sorry, it's a pain in the ass to find sources) that Hugh stepped in to be around as well and be there for her when Ryan couldn't. This is from a DM article about Blake filming the movie in New Jersey one morning in January 2024, which includes this lone shot captioned "Later on that day she was seen hanging out with pal Hugh Jackman". That's it, no further info, just Hugh and Blake and baby Olin.

Here's Blake in July 2024 wearing a shirt from Hugh's clothing line and calling him her other man. (x)

God, so...I haven't even gotten to the Deadpool and Wolverine press tour. Christ alive, you guys. I'm going to pick a small selection of things that made me feel the most like howling at the moon and you're going to have to take my word for it or get clicking, this post is already so long.

Ryan made a video for Blake while she was out promoting It Ends With Us about how he misses her and wants her to come home, this starts at 6:25 during this interview. Hugh pops into the video and says to her, "Please come back. I can't kiss him anymore. I can't keep pretending to be you."

I don't normally go in for like, analyzing facial expressions and all that, but this post theorizing the throuple from last September features a video where Hugh's talking about eating a lot of pastries and says, "It's just a lot, it's like a threesome, there's too much information," and my god, the look on Ryan's face as he processes this and then he's like, "Who put a nickel in you today??" like, I don't know man! It sure is a reaction to have! I'm just leaving this here as a slice of salami in the context sandwich of this whole post!

And then there's Blake calling Ryan while they're doing an interview and she's like "I didn't think you were actually on a press tour. I thought you were just honeymooning," and Ryan goes "No we're not! We're not actually just on vacation together," and again, just again, it's at the very least a running joke between them about how doesn't it seem like they are all fucking!

What else did they do in 2024 after spending all this time with each other? Well, Ryan and Hugh had a joint birthday party in October with the family, obviously. I think it's nice that they both wore pretty shades of blue and let the grey hair grow in so they could look even more like husbands who are in love and growing old together. I am going to have a meltdown, thanks for checking in.

I just wanted this in here, it's a little flashback to Hugh and Ryan taking a walk with each other on Christmas Eve in 2019. I think it's cute that they all spend birthdays and holidays with each other.

And as a follow-up to that, this post points out that a photo Hugh posted on Christmas Eve 2023 was taken in the lobby of Blake and Ryan's apartment building. Fine.

Now we're going to talk about relationship dynamics. Are you good? Do you need to get up and get a glass of water? I have more stuff to tell you about. Stay hydrated. So, if you do enough Googling you will eventually run across various listicles that are like "Ten times Blake and Ryan adorably trolled each other" and "A timeline of Ryan and Hugh's hilarious fake feud" and eventually you'll be like, can we call it something other than trolling. I am tired of that word. But then after you try to think of another way to put it and come up blank, and read some of these stupid listicles that reference allegedly cute Instagram comments they didn't screenshot and that Meta will never, ever let you find, what you will eventually realize is that they're all describing the exact same type of relationship.

In fact, here's Hugh calling it the same thing: 'There's no doubt it's a lot of fun because let's face it, it's one of the great – it should be an Olympic sport – trolling Ryan Reynolds,' Hugh joked. (x) Yes, you and his wife are co-gold medalists.

So, with that in mind, here's Hugh and Ryan talking about each other in People magazine (sidebar: this is excerpted from the accompanying video of them interviewing each other, which is absolutely worth your 22 minutes, they are very sincere and adorable in it and also it ends with Ryan talking about what they rely on each other for, and Hugh goes, "Your apartment 😁" and Ryan laughs and goes "Ah, the roommate that keeps on giving" and then they exchange I love yous, GOD, they're so!!! Anyway writing this fucking doorstop fantasy novel of a post has sent me on a quest watching more stuff from summer '24 and my god they do joke constantly about how Hugh basically lives with Blake and Ryan, but there is no punchline to that joke so it comes off sounding like Hugh just...lived with them for awhile, and they're both like tee-hee about it. Fuck me, oh my god, okay, onto the quotes):

“And ever since I've known you, and I would say in particular in like the last five, 10 years, we've had more time where we go for our walks because you're an unbelievable listener," adds Jackman. "So you can tell me anything and I can tell you anything, and I don't feel like you're going to be judging or necessarily giving me the answer: ‘Do this.’ And I think that has been the key.” The feeling is mutual. “I think the secret sauce to a long-lasting Hollywood friendship is not too dissimilar to having a partner or a marriage,” says Reynolds, speaking to Jackman. “I am genuinely rooting for you, all the time. I want you to win. It’s the same way I feel about Blake. As I'm rooting for her, I know she's rooting for me, and it's why we're so connected.”

I just think it's interesting. I think it's interesting when you see that Ryan and Hugh became friends pretty quickly with this cute little teasing/bantery relationship from the jump where they fondly rib each other all the time, and they made an effort to stay friends and then became really good friends over the years, and then Ryan and Blake start going together, and got married within a year (after buying a house with each other after six months together. lunatic behavior, god bless), and it was pretty immediately apparent after that that they also have this adorable teasing/bantery relationship where they fondly rib each other all the time...

And just when you're like damn, it's kinda like Ryan married the girl version of Hugh, and his best friend Hugh is the boy version of Blake, Ryan's like no that's tea. Having a long-lasting friendship is like being married to that person. I feel the same about Hugh as I do about Blake.

And then you're like oh well those are certainly...words...that have meanings...

I'm sorry to put a fucking TikTok in here but we use what we have. And I need you to hear Ryan say, "My wife Blake calls Hugh my other wife."

Yeah, that makes sense. I've seen references to Blake also calling Hugh her other husband, but I can't find the source for that because Google would rather laugh openly at me as I beg it to function. Also, here are various things about them all...just like, co-parenting Blake and Ryan's kids.

'They’re all kind of in love with Uncle Hughey over here, so that worked out pretty well,' Ryan told Extra on Monday. 'My kids prefer everything Hugh to me,' he quipped as The Greatest Showman actor chimed in, 'Mainly just as a parent.' The father-of-four revealed that the 55-year-old actor's films are watched on repeat in his household. 'They watched The Greatest Showman more than the editor for The Greatest Showman,' Ryan said.  'And sometimes I come home, and this guy’s actually acting it out with them and that’s kind of amazing,' he added of Jackman's relationship to their kids. (x)

Sometimes Ryan comes home to his house, because he wasn't there, but Hugh is there already, I guess just being at Blake and Ryan's house entertaining their children, which makes sense because he's at their house all the time, "ha ha" (?). Uncle Hughey...also, I noted down the following exchange between them from some fucking thing related to this subject that I watched and then accidentally closed bc I have so many tabs open that my laptop fan is wailing like it's being tortured. You and me both, buddy.

Ryan: Get out of my house every once in awhile. Hugh: I would if you turned up and parented.

Feisty! It's a funny joke because Hugh lives with them and co-parents their children. Don't you find that funny. Don't you feel so normal about that.

Here's a photo of Hugh talking to one of their kids on the DP&W set while Ryan looks on fondly. (x) There has been much talk about how their third daughter Betty is obsessed with him. She gets a shoutout in the DP&W credits as the "Hugh Jackman Wrangler".

Bonus: Hugh's multiple photo IG feed post wishing a happy birthday to RYAN'S MOM last year. God. Family! Just, you know, in-law things!!

So, to summarize: Ryan sure fucking has a type, personality-wise. (Aesthetically I think his type is: Hot.) He feels the same way about Hugh as he does about Blake, his words! They have been joking with each other about their throuple dynamic for like, at least ten years. They all frequently go out of their way to spend birthdays and holidays with each other. Hugh is basically a third parent to Blake and Ryan's children (honestly there's a lot more to back this one up, this just already took me fucking forever). I think it's safe to conclude that Hugh lived with them for a pretty significant amount of time. I also didn't mention it above, but what got me on this track in the first place was the announcement last November that Ryan was working on a non-Marvel project to star himself and Hugh. When I read that I was like wow, you couldn't wait two entire seconds after finishing a long summer of promo with him to find a way to get back to working with him again, huh? At the time I was not aware of most of this. Now I'm still saying the same thing, but crying.

I put this whole thing together and that means I get to promote my Hugh/Ryan(/Blake) fanfic The Co-Stars: A Romantic Comedy by Ryan Reynolds, which I wrote after that news in a frenzy of very intense feeling. Given that I unearthed the majority of the information above after posting that fic I can now report that the only thing I think I really fucked up was the timeline. The fic starts in 2024 and they clearly were already all three romantically involved with each other by then. That one's my bad, guys. Big canon fail on my part.

Disclaimer 2.0: Just kidding! I'm sure they're all just very good heterosexual friends who have spent the last decade being platonically weird about each other in public where we can see them because it's all a big laugh and also three people living with each other while co-parenting children is something with no implications that may require review. I know nothing except what they've said about each other, and what words mean, and how to interpret human behavior on a basic level. Don't ask me.

(But if someday in the future it all comes out that there was something going on, I want you to think of this post. And I want you to mentally high-five me from wherever you are in the big wide world. I'll feel it. We all will.)

[babybinko]

A job will have you 50 with a 25 year old best friend like "damn where tf Goro at today??" 😂😂😂

[lickthecowhappy]

Once again, Crowley spies the sumo Kinoshin-zeki who happened to be distracted by a nightingale.

This one is based on "Sumo Wrestler Wearing Genji Crests" by Utagawa Kuniyoshi. Your girl did NOT have it in her to do vignettes on the kimono.

If you know kanji, please forgive my atrocious calligraphy.

[agir1ukn0w]

ok can we pls just collectively acknowledge real quick the fact that qimir not only healed osha's wound, but when he took her back to his cave he actually pulled her shirt up a little so he could wrap a bandage around her torso 👀🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[lazycrow12]

Aaron finding out about Hobie and Miles. He's alive for this one and I don't remember what happened to King Pin but let's pretend he's dead. Miles hadn't decided on when to tell his family yet as he doesn't know how to go about it so Aaron is in the dark. One day Aaron is out and about, doing whatever, and he sees Miles on the street. He was gonna go say hi but he sees a boy with him(Hobie) and the boy is leaning on him. From where he is he can't tell what it is their doing so he goes up anyway but as he gets closer he can hear what their saying. Something about Miles needing to get to class and the boy asking for a kiss for the road. He stands back and hides a little to see what happens and sure enough Miles kisses him before saying he'll see him later and the 2 go their separate ways. Now Aaron has questions but he doesn't wanna just come outright with it because he's not trying to upset Miles so the next time he visits Aaron ask a few more questions than usual. How's school? How's ya parents? How's bein a hero? How are the friends? Anyone bothering you at school? Grades good? Dad doing alright? Anything new in life? Anyone new in your life? That last question makes Miles hesitate a little before he ask him about something.

"So I have this friend, you don't know him, and he's dating.. a guy for a while now. They really like each other and really wanna be able to go out together in public."

"Is this friend hiding the relationship with this guy?"

"No, no, not really he just hasn't brought him home. Or brought him up to anyone. He's kind of scared of what they might say when they see him."

"Well, I think it's important that this friend knows something's first. Is this kid good to him?"

"Y-Yeah. He's the sweetest."

"Does he make your friend happy?"

"Yeah."

"Then that's all that matters and that's all that should matter to this kids family. I'm sure whenever he's ready to say it his family would love to meet the boy."

Some silence between before Miles ask him "You knew I was the friend didn't you?"

"I told you we need to work on your lying skills."

Yeah, idk where else I'm going with this but the writer part of my brain is itching to write things but tired.

[diorchids]

play date

warnings: 18+ MDNI, smut, no use of y/n, f!reader, making out, swearing, fingering, oral ( m&f receiving ), finger sucking, unprotected p in v, sub&dom!sejanus ( squint ), obsessed!sejanus, praise kink

a/n: this took too long ?? first fic on here so lmk ur thoughts

mature content ahead!

sejanus seems so innocent. his nerdy nature, eagerness to learn, the way he never hangs out after classes. “he stays to himself, a lot,” coriolanus mutters following you asking about sejanus’ personal life. his brown eyes gaze up at the unprovoked mention of his name.

standing from his desk, he waltzes over to you and coryo, “why wouldn’t i stay to myself? you expect me to trust them?” sejanus points to arachne and her groupies. you smile, making him grin after looking back at you and coryo.  

dean highbottom makes himself known, clearing his throat. you crane your neck to glance over to sejanus, but his eyes are already on you.

the brief eye contact made you immediately sit back in your designated seat while highbottom asks everyone to partner up for a project, coming up with ideas for the games to come.

trudging your way through the dense population of your peers, looking for clemensia. you’d assumed corio was working with sejanus.

“looks like you’re also in need of a partner,” the tall boy towers over you, his curls bouncing as he tilts his head downward. his eyes narrow on yours, expecting a sad rejection, he squeezes his hands together. 

“i guess i am, projects must not be for snow,” he’d left. long gone under the guise of a bathroom break. 

sejanus clears his throat, “be mine, then, please,” his throat is jammed with saliva, his tongue gliding around the tips of his teeth. but you oblige, biting the inside of your cheek. “my parents aren't home, just in case you wanted to start there,” he clarified, making sure you knew he was talking about school.

you chuckle at his tense demeanor. “does this house have an address?” sejanus laughs, he’s less on edge, all because of you. 

he gets home with the piece of paper with your number on it, brushing over it with his clammy hands. his palms instinctively rub against his clothed dick, making him whine at the pain that needed taking care of. you knew what you were doing.

making him so needy, having him practically beg for your attention. sweaty hands trail up to the phone to dial your number, he hesitates to dial the last digit. 

“hello?” your voice raises goosebumps on his skin. he's silent, a lump getting caught in his throat. “sejanus? from class? is the play date ready?”

you sit up on your bed, awaiting his answer. “yeah, s’ready,” his smile could be heard through the phone.

“i’ll be there in, like, 10.” before he could answer, you hung up. 

knocks on the door accompany the sounds of lucky flickerman speaking on tv. the door handle shakes after sejanus forgets to unlock it. “one second–! fuckin’ doorknob,” the door opening to his smile, eyebrows anxious and twitching. 

“we can head to my room if you want,” he makes it clear he only wants to do the project, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. 

following him upstairs, you notice how nice his house is, putting yours to complete shame. his room has posters, quotes, and pictures of his family. “let's just start now, with brainstorming.”

his eyes flick back and forth from your face and your bra rubbing against your shirt. you draw diagrams of threats that could be implemented into the games, the only driving force is the thought of being a mentor.

your back aches from sitting in the chair for too long, the desk lamp straining both of your eyes. you rose from the desk, making sejanus slightly frown, being farther away from you.

you fall straight back onto his bed, a slight moan escaping your lips. a quiet groan leaves him, his eyebrows furrowing while looking at your pillowy lips. 

he fidgets with his hands, trying so hard to not palm his cock while you’re right there, “l’me touch you — please,” he groans out, desperately. this was something guttural, something begging to leave his mouth.

his words fall slowly out it. they take you by surprise, his desperation for you, his whiny voice. his legs go into what feels like autopilot as he walks towards you, so hungry.

“i’ll be so good, so, so good,” his leg between yours, you sitting up, being met with his face. his warm breath against your cheeks makes your breath hitch.

fingers cradle your jaw as his thumb draws circles on your chin, “talk t’ me.” you nod as your eyes analyze his face, taking in every ounce of his words, “whatever you want, do whatever you want,” pulling your waist to his leg, rocking yourself against him.

your wet lips smashing into his, your mouth being searched every inch by his warm tongue. his hands travel all over you, gripping your thighs and your neck. (softly, of course.)

“knees, now, please,” his words leave a mark on your cheek. so soft and yet so demanding. but you comply while sej unbuckles his belt, licking his top lip. seeing you on your knees, so helpless, so nasty.

he pulls his cock out of his boxers, and it slaps his stomach, he’s so achingly hard and big. his pants are discarded onto the floor, you both know they won’t be needed.

sucking air in through his teeth when you prod at his red, leaking tip. head tilting to the side with desperate eyes, eyebrows furrowing when you kiss his tip, he pulls his shirt off. his dick is huge next to your face, you run your finger up a vein, making him shudder.

“mmmf — f- fuck,” he babbles while pulling your hair into his fist, bucking his hips into your warm mouth. “m’ sorry,” eyes roll to the back of his head, his lips swollen from being abused by his teeth.

his bed squeaks as he flops down on his bed to sit, still pulling your mouth onto his dick. cock twitching in your mouth as you squeeze his soft but toned thighs, earning a groan and tug on your hair. “you see what you’re doin’ t’ me? m’ like an animal for you,” eyebrows truly showing how he feels about you. your hands wrap around his cock while you jerk it and suck his swollen, abused tip.

“show me how much you love me, sejanus,” keeping eye contact no brick could break, his cock twitches while you take him all in your mouth one last time. his hand finds its way to your breasts, caressing and squeezing them. 

warm spurts of cum coating the back of your throat, his big hands grip your hair, bucking his hips into your mouth. groans and moans fill the room as you look up at him, with those eyes.

his cock twitching against your chin, his face flushed while brushing your hair to the side, “that was s– so good, s’ good,” wet lips quivering from your nails digging into thighs. “felt good?” you say, breathlessly, sejanus nodding immediately, face red and hairs starting to stick to his head.

he helps you to your feet before guiding you toward his bed. rough, big hands lay you down before trailing down to the end of the bed. he looks at you, examining your face attentively before gripping your ankles and dragging you to him.

“let's get this off, ‘kay?” he tugs the end of your shirt, you nodding while pulling the shirt over your head, your lace bra making sejanus groan at the sight of you, so, so beautiful.

he crawls to you, wrapping arms around your chest, undoing your bra, chests rubbing against each other. your bra falls as he watches in awe. sejanus rises and moves to the end of the bed, eyes lidded, once again hungry. tapping your ankle, silently telling you to open your legs, analyzing your wet cunt being soaked through your panties. 

“so wet, all for me?” you nod quickly. his thumb presses against your needy clit, making you shiver and instinctively close your legs on his head. “m’ sorry, keep goin’,” grabbing a pillow to cover your mouth, to muffle the moans to come.

“no, wanna hear you,” his arm flexes as he grabs the pillow and pushes your hips up to make space for it.

his fingers hook onto the hem of your panties, pulling them off of your legs, exposing your bare cunt. he ruts himself against his bed as he groans hot breaths right into your clit. fingers glide across your slit, moving up to your clit, earning moans from you and your puffy lips. his tongue licks a stripe onto your cunt before latching onto your swollen clit.

long fingers traveling up to your mouth, and without a word you start to suck and swirl his fingers around in your mouth before him abruptly slipping them out and into your cunt.

lips detach from your clit to speak, “ah, takin’ it so well, baby. talk t’ me, please,” you nod before he curls his fingers up, hitting that sensitive spongy spot. “words, please,” he begs, gripping your thigh with his free hand, squeezing fat.

“love it, love your fingers in me s’ much.” groans fill your pussy as he goes faster, sucking your puffy clit, fingers going in and out. the coil in your stomach tightens with every sloppy thrust.

rabid moans leave your throat as you buck your hips up into his face, him holding your hips down with his hand. the bed slightly moving back and forth from his hips rutting against the edge, “so wet. so fuckin’ sweet,” his muffled words praising your cunt. your hips stutter on his chin and he thrusts mercilessly, in and out.

the fire in the pit of your stomach igniting as you cum all over his face and bed, cum pooling at your ass. his tongue swirling over your clit makes your eyes roll back earning a back arch off of the pillow. “fuck, i’m cummin’, you feel so good in me, love you so much, baby,” you exclaim while writhing under his spell.

his hips hump pathetically against his bed until he hears your words, your praise. his cum coating his boxers in hot, white seed. 

“nngmf,” his head falls straight onto your clit. your hands finding his curls, soft moans filling the room. his seed dripping down his leg onto his carpet, leaving a stain, a memory.

“gonna cum in you now, let you have all of it,” crawling up the bed, smashing his cum washed lips onto yours. “can i fuck you, please?” you nod while he pulls his cock out of his wet boxers and lines it up with your entrance, “s’ take it all,” before smashing his hips in and out of your spoiled cunt. lips abusing your needier ones, he couldn’t wait, he couldn’t wait to be inside of you, soaked in your juices.

his hips don’t stop from slamming your cervix in, ripping painful but pleasurable moans from deep down. his flexed arms hold your knees to your shoulders, taking complete control of your body. “you feel so fuckin’ amazin’. better than i ever imagined. so – so warm for my cock, so fuckin’ tight,” you moan while gripping his hair in response, nodding so eagerly, wanting and needing more of his dick.

drool falling from the corners of your mouth, so fucked out, so dumb for his cock, the cock thats bruising up your cervix.

“like you were made for me, fittin’ me all up in here, fuck, gonna empty my balls all up in y– agh,” his balls slap your slit as you both chase the high. the delicious high, the rewarding high.

your pussy squeezes his cock so beautifully, so perfectly. “g’ cum, f’ so good in me,” your whisper, egging him on. he grips your thighs so tightly, threatening to cum all up in you. “you wanna cum? go ahead,” his eyes on yours, “cum all on me, all over me, please, ” his hips thrust violently into you, animalistically.

your eyes dart to your pussy, taking all of him, swallowing his cock so well. him digging his nails into your plush thighs, thrusts becoming sloppy. he pushes down on your stomach to feel himself making you feel so good. your cunt starts to flutter, while the coils tighten again, threatening to snap. “grippin’ me so good, like a fuckin’ vice,” he’s panting into your ear.

“m’ cumming, sejanus, all f’ you,” you reach climax, cum piling at the base of his cock as your back arches, pleasure coursing through you as the juices fall onto the bed under you.

he doesn’t pull out of you, though, instead chasing his high. “you did so good, thank you, thank you s’ much,” he groans out to you, still bruising your cervix. you can’t even respond, being so fucked out from his thick cock stretching you out so good.

cock twitching, he speeds up while gripping your ass, slamming your walls into him. hips stuttering while his warm cum coats the entirety of your cunt, inside and out. he rides his high out, though he pulls out eventually. just to replace it with his thick, long finger. 

“love you, love y’ so much,” his bruised lips abusing yours.

he shuffles awkwardly to his bathroom to get you a warm towel, pulling the warm blanket over your bodies.

i see very few fics of him like he isnt so fine, but i must speak my truth!!!!

[yikes-ajax]

I dont have a clever and witty sarcastic comment tonight, I just think she's cute

[parisofpeoplez]

I want protective Hong Hee joo

I want her to tell Sa eon's so called "family" to fuck off and drag Sa eon away from their clutches

I want Sa eon to be surprised at her behavior

I want him to kiss Hee joo senseless because his wife standing up for him is hot🔥 🔥🔥