#She is honestly so scary in this moment!
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Agatha All Along
Darkest Hour / Wake Thy power
#Agatha All Along#Agatha Harkness#Kathryn Hahn#Darkest Hour / Wake Thy power#Agatha All Along Spoilers#Agatha Spoilers#Spoilers#my gifs#tv edits#tv : Marvel#tv : Witches#mcu#marvel#mcuedits#marveledits#khedits#She is honestly so scary in this moment!#Like my heart races at this build up#She is so Wicked and I Love it!#Kathryn is such a powerful Actress#For the love of Lilith give her more Agatha!#She is absolutely living in this Character
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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shoulder feels like it’s in the wrong place and needs to make a mighty crunch but i keep trying and it just makes weak little clicks and feeling more and more tight and hurting. help! i have joints 👎
#bluejay.txt#my flute professor would Get me for this honestly. it’s definitely from holding tension while i was playing earlier#she’s always all over me for playing with tension and pushing through pain#she’s right but i’m afraid she also doesn’t get that me and my stupid demon collagen are gonna have pain no matter how perfect my posture#but i should fix it as much as i can and i just have so much trouble with that.#at least i don’t play with Visibly bad posture anymore. my elbows are down my neck is up spine is straight knees not locked etc.#used to do all that & looked like the hunchback of notre dame.#now i just hold too much tension bc i’m afraid my shoulders will evacuate the premises (sockets) while i’m playing 💀#which has happened before and is very unpleasant though it doesn’t hurt.#music school moment#i guess#i should have an EDS tag but it would probably just make me sad lmao#man i just want my joints to work right. i would sacrifice the scary shoulder party tricks for less pain and instability fr#been a while since i used this site as a diary like this. hope you all are enjoying it i guess :)
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Modern au:
Abraxos is Manon’s security blanket like— yes he’s her dog but to her he’s more than just that. She really can’t be without him she just starts falling apart and needs to have with her constantly.
As a dog breed, I honestly believe that Abraxos is a Rottweiler; looks scary and menacing (he will shred anyone who threatens Manon to pieces though) but he’s actually a cuddly teddy bear. He loves his human and is always attentive. He can sense her emotions and provide what she needs. If she’s anxious while they’re out walking he growls at the invisible danger, scaring any lingering creeps away. At home, he just wants to cuddle never mind his weight can actually crush her but neither Manon nor Abraxos cares.
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#abraxos#she never planned on getting any sort of pet because my girl comes with ISSUES#but Abraxos? it was so random and she has no idea how she arrived at her place with the puppy#she panicked and called Asterin because help what do i do now im not prepared???#so Asterin showed up and they went shopping for everything the puppy will need#and honestly Manon was so in love and attached from the moment she got him#Abraxos loves her too and honestly he loves being around her#ofc he’s super protective and doesn’t let anyone approach her if she doesn’t like it#he can be scary when he wants to be and that works perfectly for them#but honestly Manon can’t function without him she needs him with her at all times
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on arranged marriages
it's funny. mums been in the whatsapp rishta groups for years looking for someone i might marry. she'll send me a profile once in a while and ask what i think, if she should contact his parents or not and most of the time i say yeah, alright. nothing ever comes of it though, so when my dad calls me after work and says mum spoke to him about a rishta she's thinking of moving forward with i'm intrigued, but not particularly invested.
mum's really picky, i tell him. this probably won't go anywhere but we may as well see it through, right? dad is hesitant, but agrees when i say that i do want an arranged marriage.
but then things do move forward and the next thing i know, he is going to visit us with his parents. on the day, my uncle picks me up from work so i don't have to walk. you don't have to make a decision today, he tells me. this is just a first visit. my cousin helps me get ready and i am reminded of the similar scene in the movie vivah. nothing has to happen today, she tells me you guys are just meeting today. the thought does nothing to settle the nerves roiling in my stomach and i try to go back to my room three times instead of going downstairs until my cousin practically shoves me down them.
i enjoy meeting his mum, even though she immediately clocks my nervous clasping and unclasping of my bracelet. she hugs me as if i'm her own daughter and is so happy to see me that my heart lightens. eventually, we go to the other sitting room where the men are sitting-where he is. my nerves flare up again but he doesn't look up from his hands clasped in his lap when we walk in.
too nervous to speak, i only answer say anything when a question is directed at me and try to sneak quick glances at him across the room instead. his mum catches me more than once and smiles knowingly at me. we meet each others eyes only once for a split second and it makes my heart pound rapidly in my chest. when he speaks, i force myself to look at anyone other than him. he has a nice voice, my brain whispers and i bite my tongue, hard.
they leave, and we say they'll know our decision after a couple months. i know what my answer will be though. later, when they get back home and his mum calls my mum, i stand outside the door to eavesdrop, my heart in my throat but i can't stop my grin when i hear his mum say he's happy to go ahead with this, because there was a part of me that still worried he'd see me in person and go NOPE. she suggests that we get to know each other over the next few months and i silently beg my mum to agree. i know that where she is from, in her tradition, the bride and groom speak once or twice before the wedding if they're lucky, and that things are still done that way back home, but just as im gearing up to argue against that, she agrees. it's a miracle!
of course, chronically shy person that i am, the thought of our first conversation taking place on our mums phones is terrifying so instead i ask to get his number so we can text first. she sends his number but theres no way i'm texting first so i send them my number and thankfully he gets the hint and texts me first. i hope you don't mind me texting, i'm just shy still. i say. that's fine, he reassures me. we have time.
time, as it turns out. flies. it doesn't take long to move from texts to voice notes, to phone calls. he really does have a nice voice, i find out, and its not as awkward as i thought it would be. i didn't actually think that we'd talk that much, maybe once a week at most and yet...
i almost cried last night because we were talking about going to Pakistan together next summer and I remembered how when I was a teenager I used to daydream about going to Pakistan with my spouse and visiting all my family with him.
then over the years I sort of gave up on that idea because I'm not the type to go out and meet someone and in the desi arranged marriage market whose gonna choose me?
and now I'm 26, and we talk multiple times a day and when I catch myself thinking oh he isn't really interested, he's just talking to me because he has to to get to know me, why would anyone actually like me?? I find myself countering with well actually if that was the case why would he start calling you every day? how come you went from one call a day ending with 'i'll talk to you tomorrow' to him calling you on his way home from work and 'i'll call you after dinner' when he gets home to a THIRD call after maghrib right before bed? those are not the actions of a man who is uninterested!!
hanaas insecurities- 0, hanaas logic- 1
anyway idk where this is going except i never thought i'd be this excited and happy when it came time for me to get married but here i am and it is SO SCARY to realise that i am maybe possibly (definitely) falling for him but wow, and like? (literally the other day i was telling him a story from when i was a kid and the story had such a silly ending but it was unexpected and he laughed really hard in surprise and it made my heart almost explode i swear its so fun to make him laugh)
but like there's SO MANY logistics i'm restarting my driving lessons so i can pass before i move and i literally just got my new job in april but i'm gonna have to give my notice lmao and i've already started looking for new jobs but GAH so much stuff is happening and yet at the same time i feel so calm about it all it's wild i'm just vibing trying to enjoy my summer holidays and having the highlights of my day being when he calls lmaooo
#banana speaks 🍌#okay that's enough emosh stuff for tonight i think#time to go to bed and watch his tiktoks and kick my feet and giggle at my phone bc i can't believe this is happening still#idk why i made this post honestly but its just like...it is SO SCARY sometimes#and for ages and ages i didn't feel ready at all#my sister had a love marriage and she's been married 10 years w 4 kids she's rlly happy#but i just knew that wasn't gonna happen for me so i was happy w an arranged marriage#but also#i have really strong faith#(mostly)#and something that really helped me here was#im SUCH a chronic over thinker but literally the moment i saw him in our front room#i felt this deep certainty like 'this is it..this is him' it felt like this beautiful peace in my heart#and that was so so lovely like...there's wedding stuff and other things to prepare for but theres no doubt in my mind ab him and its just??#insane im like#its like all my doubts disappeared#and also it's v interesting bc i think if he'd tried any lines on me or flirted when we talk i would be worried but#hes really respectful and my dad likes him my mum likes him we ALL like him hahaha#inshallah inshallah things will go well#also rishta's will come from unexpected places#we were looking in the uk for AGES and couldn't find anyone#but we found him within a year of him being here because turns out...he only came here from pak to be w his parents last year#jo hai tera lab jayega indeed#once agan#inshallah it all goes smoothly :D
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hi exams over vent in tags btw
#[✦ - star rants!]#i don't think i did well at all.#like i genuinely mean it#after the paper i just sat there and soaked in my own cortisol#so many things went wrong like the seat i sat in was so windy and my papers kept flying around#or the fact that my lower abdomen chose that moment to hurt like crazy#im so tired#im going to malaysia tmr which sounds fun but i dont want to go#im missing out on lessons and i begged my parents to reschedule but she didnt want to interrupt the schedule of my 6 and 7 yo cousin!!#which like yeah i kinda agree and things that may not seem important to me could be important to my cousins but i just#i just wish they respected my time too#my grades are only important to them when im sick and want to take a day off school#but honestly they've always been important to me and its scary seeing my grades drop and i want to fix it#this is exhausting
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flower language rocks. i should do more art with it
#like the hermie one was the only one i fully did#but i've drawn so many deer skulls with carnation and mint antlers....... hero oak dndads....... you slay me........#i've sketched out so many ideas of her with the skull you have no idea#(carnation and mint - to console the loss of a child)#in my initial idea she's offering it to sparrow (like. he's there) but my hermie one was addressed to normal and normal wasn't there#mmmm depends how much blood i want in the picture honestly#also i have a note with a lot of combinations and relationships in it that. it's giving me the brainrot again#gothcleats with buttercup and datura... scary and terry with anemone and camellia....#normal gifting sparrow bluebell and peony at the dance....#this is just s2.#OH MY GOD CARNATION AND MINT WITH NICHOLAS OFFERING TO GLENN WOULD SLAP#bonus points if it's a reimagining of the drug flowers scene.#iconic moment for nick that would never happen with nicholas. and nicholas wouldn't know what the flowers were JUST LIKE HE DOESNT KNOW WHA#T GLENN LOST ARE YOU SEEING THIS AM I GENIUS OR JUST CRAZY#DOESNT KNOW THE LITERAL OR METAPHORICAL MEANING>#ok ok i need to be normal i need to go to sleep
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and when I get out of this FUCKING HOUSE
#rambles#literally ignore me I’m venting#bought some clothes online right#something I don’t normally do so spooky scary new things that freak out the tism#have to return a couple items okay#I miss one thing in the return package that I only realised after I give it to the post office#(I resolved it via customer service so it’s literally fine and not a big deal)#tell my mum I forgot the thing and she IMMEDIATELY loses it at me because I don’t want to walk all the way back to the fucking post office#like at this point I’m still anxious because I think I did something wrong#not knowing it could be resolved dead easy#so my mum literally yelling at me is not making me feel better and actively setting off my pissed-off defence mechanism#so last thing I do is call her a bitch and she actually screams at me#like should I have called her that? no#but has this woman ever apologised to me in my LIFE? also no#so I’m gonna be petty and stubborn and leave her to be pissed off cause she upset me first#honestly was fully expecting her to smack me in the moment or not make me dinner. I was fully prepared for that. but thats beside the point#anyway dad gets home. literally tries to make me talk to him in the kitchen and when I don’t want to he shouts at me#literally just not in the mood to deal with more conversation tonight and I told him that and he was like ‘okay paint yourself the victim’#like????? THATS NOT WHAT IM DOING FUCKWAD I JUST AM NOT IN THE HEADSPACE TO TALK RIGHT NOW#like I’m not gonna pretend I’m the bigger person in this situation or didn’t do anything wrong#but they’re fucking unreasonable people whenever I do ANYTHING wrong#like bro I don’t know how to sincerely apologise to people because I never EVER heard the word sorry out of their mouths#so they can fucking live with what they created tbh#congratulations your daughter’s a shit person and now you have to cope with it#honestly get me out of this fucking house the temptation to just walk out is only battled by the fact I’d have no where to go rn#vent post#don’t reblog ty#vent over sos y’all had to see that <3
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Emilio is officially the main source of comedy in WBTL now.
#Personal#Was Born To Lead#AJSBDFNKFJF I’m just imagining one of the future scenes between him and Valerio and I once again think I’m freaking funny :���D#(which is true one of my classmates said I’m funny some time ago 😌)#Ahshjfjkf he’s just trying to be a good friend too hard#I consider myself socially awkward too but honestly I’m nothing like Emilio in this regard#I would die of embarrassment if I acted like him :’D I’m just constantly silent instead#Honestly it feels so weird writing this story so lighthearted after all the drama that was happening :’D#WBTL: Okay then! If you don’t wanna tell scary stories you’ll be listening to them#Also WBTL: has a scene of a character having a breakdown in front of the grave of his wife#This is just peak media to me#Anyway Emilio and Valerio are not appearing in the next chapter#I have other main characters I need to focus on at the moment wink wink#Yes those are Frida and Ángel XD#Especially Frida because she hasn’t even appeared yet#And well Ángel too because he hasn’t really done anything in the latest chapter :’D#Anyway I keep writing maybe in ten years it will be finished#ajbsnfjjf WAIT#I’ve just realized those two examples WBTL and Also WBTL are from the same chapter XDDDDD#Oh my goodnessss
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a photo dump of some tieflings i made!! the light pink/purple tiefling is named Violet and she's a Bard who I'll likely multiclass into a Rogue. I made her with the intentions of romancing Shadowheart in my 2nd play through, but Karlach is also right there...
the other purple tiefling is named Hyacinth and they're a wild magic Sorcerer! will likely romance Gale with them tbh, and I might mutliclass into a Warlock. Hyacinth is played in the multiplayer save I have with my gf :)
#mari speaks#baldur's gate 3#bg3#tieflings are SO fun to make in this game it's insane#honestly very much leaning towards Violet going for Karlach because the moment she'll lay eyes on her she's gonna go insane i just know it#i would have romanced Karlach in my first/current save but god. Astarion got me good#also like my paladin and Astarion are so good together i'd rather have another character for Karlach :)#BUT ALSO SHADOWHEART..... man#it's gonna be hard to decide i think but we'll see when i get there#i think Hyacinth for Gale is very funny tho bc she looks so scary but has the purple aesthetic for Mystra#and i gave her the sage background so she Definitely studied Mystra and the Weave
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#a couple of weeks ago my mum had a rare and near deadly brain haemorrhage#and it was such a traumatic and very scary time#i found her on the bathroom floor and honestly i still feel quite stuck in that moment but also#i feel so guilty but i'm feeling so so tired working all the time and then when i'm here i'm her full time carer#like i have to sort all her pills and do all the cooking and laundry and cleaning etc#and help her with everything bc she's still not herself at all#and she's only been home a week or so and it's such a relief but i am also exhausted and i feel like a shit daughter#also never forget the day my mum went into hospital in an ambulance so me and my lil sister put succession on to rewatch as a distraction#totally forgetting that the first episode ends with logan having a brain haemorrhage and all the siblings in hospital#personal.#tbd
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You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.
But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.
Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.
I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.
FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.
#free palestine#gaza#palestine#rafah#israel#current events#gaza strip#human rights#childrens rights#save the children#cease fire in gaza#cease fire now#cease fire permanently#palestinian genocide#support gaza#pray for palestine#ceasfire now
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Ramble vent
I'll probably post more cus I don't have anywhere else to go so either be careful reading or just skip it all together
#I hate feeling sad 24/7 and faking happy for everyone else#I'm so lonely.#I hate feelings I'm tired of having such strong painful feelings#what is wrong with me that my brain won't stop thinking it's a whole thing on it's own#and it sucks so much energy out of me#I can't focus on anything I spent 4 hours trying to find something to watch#everytime I just ended up zoning out as my body continued without me#on the outside it looks like I'm crocheting and in the moment but that's not even me#it's an auto pilot I dunno where it came from#I can't focus on anything and I'm so lonely#my sister is only a year older than me and shes been with her BF for 9 yrs....and before that she's had boyfriends#I'm 24 and I've never had anything but a bunch of failed attempts and people taking advantage of me#it sucks cus I'm SUCH a romantic I learned from the movies as a kid#thats honestly not my only or main problem my mental health is just spiraling so everything is coming out jumbled#the only thing to get me even a bit focused is like super scary or disturbing videos and honestly I'm not in the headspace for them#so I end up spending all night just running from my brain and scarring myself to death#I can't talk to my dad or my sister and when I tell them that it's some version of 'well then try to look/act happier then'#....#I feel like everyone is constantly stepping on me and I'm not allowed to do anything#both of them forget im autistic so easily#I know that NOBODY asked for an autistic sibling/daughter but on the suffering scale when it comes to that dont I win??? since im the one wh#who has it?????#because of some tiktoks she was like 'you dont think im autistic do you?' and then she went on a thing how that would suck cus she didn't ge#get anything I had#I had those therapies I was diagnosed autistic because it was SEVERE#my life fckin sucked I hate how she hints that my life was eaiser cus of certain things like school#im feeling a throw up of emotions like Im not gonna throw up but emotionally it feels like that#im just trying not to cry cus my sister will try to help and she really can't other than say 'sorry' and tell me to drink water#I keep whiplashing between a super active brain and a dead one#I hate feeling numb but I want the dead one im tired of my brain
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Im on hour 24 of this migraine and have stopped focusing on pain management type solutions and I'm looking more into how to let the unending pain fuel me to commit atrocities I would be too cowardly to otherwise
#face hurts disease#I had a really scary moment yesterday where i couldn't read or talk#im fine now but i have an exit interview today and will not be able to get as like ...angry as I want#the pain isnt behind my eye anymore and im looking forward to the pop! of no pain + euphoria after#i was with my friend all day yesterday and she watched me burst into tears#close my eyes all day. slur my words. complain about how it hurts#and i told my mom about the aphasia and she was like go to the doctor????#tell me why my first reaction was...no honestly it wasnt that bas. was i making it up for attention 🤔#it literally still hurts now wtf#im coping with the fact that ive always had migraines but didn't have a word for them#thought that migraine didn't apply to me because i didn't get them frequently or they weren't often disruptive#im just like ah been staring at the screen too long. starting to get a hot headache#or ooh everything is bright and smelly time for bed#i remember once being so light headed n my mom said i looked pale and i just couldn't find the energy to talk. just was like yeah headache#you know how those are
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HEYY I LOVE YOUR STORIES COULD YOU MAYBE DO ONE FOR CHRIS OR MATT WHERE HE MEETS A GIRL ON TOUR WHEN SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS AND TELLS HER TO MEET HIM IN THE TOURBUS THEN YKK
♛ ONE ° •
ʚ♡ɞ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 ʚ♡ɞ
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!matt x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: the versus tour takes place in your hometown! while doing autographs, you seem catch the matt sturniolo’s eye.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUTTY SMUT, swearing, choking if you squint, making out, oral (male and female receiving), dry humping (?), face fucking, spanking, p in v, overstimulation, dumbification, marking, some degradation/praising, hair pulling, squirting, cream pie, ROUGHH
ASSUME YOU’RE ON THE PILL!
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2,427
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i added this to my welcome post but i’m going to say it here too. my requests are now CLOSED because i’ve been getting overwhelmed and i want to get them done LOL but my inbox is still open so feel free to chat with me :)
idk when i’ll open them again, but they will be eventually!
the moment you’ve been waiting for for months has finally arrived. you and your best friend hannah were lucky enough to get tickets to the sturniolo triplets tour in your hometown.
currently, the small talk line moves slowly but surely. your friend is decked out in purple for nick while you’re wearing blue for matt.
“we’re next!” hannah gushes, clapping her hands in excitement. she pushes you ahead of her. “i’m scared. you go first.”
you roll your eyes playfully. honestly, you’re not nervous to meet your favorites. you feel chill, which is the opposite of what you thought you’d be like.
matt greets you by hugging you tight and smiling. “how are you?” he asks, taking his card and signing it.
“i’m doing good.” you return his smile. “you liking the tour so far?”
he nods, eyeing you up and down. he feels something different about you. this doesn’t feel like any other small talk.
“i love it.”
the security man motions for you to go on ahead. of course, you listen and start to grab your items, but matt stops you. “do you have a boyfriend?”
see, if this were any other person you’d be weirded out by this question; but because it’s matthew sturniolo, you answer.
“nope.”
he licks his lips, taking the card that he signed and flipping it over to write something.
the scary security is getting angry and impatient with you, so you can only read what he wrote as you walk away. your eyeballs almost burst out of your skull.
i want to see you after the show.
now, you and hannah are standing in the red carpet line before the show actually starts.
you guys talk until it’s your turn, the both of you going since you want a group picture. first is chris, then nick, and lastly matt. he hugs you longer than the other two.
a chill runs down your spine when his voice tickles against your ear. “i’ll meet you outside later, right?”
he pulls away, getting ready to pose for the picture, but you nod for an answer.
“that was so much fun!” hannah screeches as you guys walk to the parking lot.
you agree, before stopping. “i need to go back and use the restroom. do you mind taking my stuff with you to my car?”
she grins, grabbing your stuff. “sure thing.”
you speed walk back to the venue, fewer and fewer people flooding the area as you wait.
a door opens moments later, sounding like the backstage door, and you turn to the source.
you blush, your cheeks heating up more and more the closer he gets with that damn smile on his face.
pinch me this can’t be real.
“hi,” he says lowly.
“hi,” you repeat back.
he looks at his watch. “they’re yapping away in there so we should have some time.”
you’re not sure what that means but again: since it’s matthew fucking sturniolo… you’ll listen without a doubt.
your heartbeat pumps rapidly in your chest when he sneaks you into the tour bus.
you kind of feel bad for leaving hannah behind… but this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
the bus looks way bigger on the outside than the inside, and you’re still trying hard to wrap your head around that you’re with matthew. fucking. sturniolo.
he admires the way you take it all in with his hands shoved into his pockets. he’s sure you’re thinking about so many things right now, but the only thing he can think of is how badly he wants to fuck you.
thinking about a fan that way is insane, but he just finds you so much different than any other fan girl. you’re confident, kind, and gorgeous.
you finish observing the tour bus and smile wide at him. “it’s very cool in here.”
“yeah.” he chuckles. “the beds are a tight squeeze though.”
you giggle, and he steps closer. your mind runs a million miles a minute with each step he takes. “do you trust me?” he questions, now inches away from you.
you raise a brow suspiciously. “should i not?”
he smirks, shaking his head. “i’m just checking.” he places his hands on your hips gently, running them up and down.
leaning towards your ear, he whispers. “be good for me, yeah?”
your legs subconsciously squeeze together, and he cups your cheeks with his palms. he leans in slowly. he hesitates when his lips ghost yours to see if you’d protest, but because you don’t, he kisses you.
his tongue licks your lips to indicate that he wants you to open, but you don’t. you feel the coldness of his rings on the side of your neck before he squeezes. when you gasp at the sudden contact, that’s his sign for his tongue to enter your mouth. “you promised you’d be good.” he says between the kiss.
you smirk. “i didn’t promise anything.”
he snarls, leaning back in. the make-out goes on for at least thirty seconds before he pulls away, the lipstick you had on now smeared on both of your mouths.
your eyes have a mind of their own and look down, seeing his rock-hard erection as clear as day through his jeans. “get on your knees.”
your eyebrows shoot to your hairline at the sudden tone change, but you obey either way.
he wastes no time to unbuckle his belt to pull down his jeans, his dick springing out right in front of you. the tip is red and leaking pre-cum. you open your mouth wide without him having to tell you, and he smirks.
leaning in, he grabs your hair and stops you. “no.” he says.
instead, he slaps the head on your tongue before pushing in slowly. it’s like you can feel every vein enter your mouth, gagging in the process when he’s deep in your throat. “holy shit.” he breathes, seeing how much of him you took.
it’s not all of it, but it’s more than he thought. you give him puppy dog eyes through your lashes, despite them being glossy.
he starts to thrust into your mouth, jaw slack as he watches his dick run past your lips in one swift motion. the grip on your head stays tight, him hunching over slightly to get deeper.
you moan at the shape protruding in your throat, the gagging and sloppy wet noises making you turned on even more. “fuck i’ve been wanting to do this since you opened that pretty fucking mouth of yours.” he pants, moving at an ungodly speed that makes it hard for you to breath. “do you just let random guys use this mouth? sure seems that way.”
you moan again, lifting yourself off of the ground the tiniest bit so you can feel the top of his shoe on your swollen clit.
whimpering at the feeling, you start to grind yourself on it while he still fucks your mouth. your arms wrap around his leg, humping faster like a bitch in heat.
“that’s a little pathetic.” he laughs hoarsely, groaning when his dick twitches. “so, so needy for me.”
you let out a pained sob because along with your throat, the feeling of you grinding also hurts. it would be best if you had something way more than his shoe.
“s-shit.” he whimpers, pulling out to where only the tip is in your mouth, making sure you get all of his cum on your tastebuds. he smears the rest on your lips.
matt lifts you from the ground, bending you over the small table that they have. he grabs your ass before giving it a light spank.
it’s his turn to kneel now, simultaneously taking off your leggings. he bites your ass before sliding your panties over. you feel his breath against your aching core. “jesus christ.” he mumbles. “you’re dripping down your legs already. aren’t you just an eager thing?”
he spreads your folds with his thumbs, blowing cool air on them that makes you jolt. you’re too sensitive for that.
then, your phone starts to ring right next to you. it’s hannah.
shit.
you cannot not answer, because if you don���t she’ll think something is wrong. you swipe, putting the phone on speaker. “hell— oh.”
matt immediately digs into you, eating you out like he hasn’t eaten ever in his life.
“where the hell are you? i’ve been waiting by your car for like thirty minutes. using the bathroom shouldn’t take this long, y/n.”
the man below you squeezes your thighs, spreading yourself wider to practically be nose-deep inside of you. your eyes roll back hard, mouth hanging open with silent moans leaving it. “hello?”
“h-hannah i’m sorry i’ll— mm— be out s-soon. i’m sorry.”
“are you okay?” she questions.
with that, matt starts sucking at your bud, causing your legs to shake. you grip the table as hard as you can, your upper body giving out and laying flat on the surface in front of you.
“yes i’m fine!” you say, trying to reach for his head and push him away, but that only makes him grab onto you harder.
he’s fascinated by the way you taste it’s almost hypnotizing. your arousal drips down his chin, and the way he’s sucking has your orgasm wash over you without warning. “i’m cumming.” you whine, and you feel the smug smile on his face.
“oh, so you’re coming? thank god because it’s a little chilly out here,” hannah replies.
“fuck yes.” you moan but cover it by clearing your throat. “i mean, yes. i will be coming in a-a bit.”
she sighs through the phone. “okay.”
you quickly hang up without saying goodbye, holding on for dear life since your release knocked your legs out.
he holds you, getting up and wiping your cum off of his face. “you’re a bit of a bad girl, aren’t you?”
spank.
“leaving your friend out there all alone.”
spank.
“so that you can fuck me.”
spank.
“like a slut.”
spank.
you wince every time he hits you, the stinging tingling on your ass. he grabs your hips and arches you more.
he moves his tip up and down at your entrance teasingly, getting wetter by the second. “matt, please.” you whine, your pussy desperate for his cock. “please fuck me.”
he stops, waiting for a beat before pushing into you like it’s no big deal. he’s big for sure, but because of your wetness, he slides in perfectly. the both of you moan, and matt stares at where you conjoined. “your pussy’s fucking amazing.” he groans. “by far the best i’ve ever had.”
you start to bounce back on him since he’s taking his sweet ass time, but out of nowhere starts pounding into you.
whatever they have on the table starts to either fall or rattle from him railing into you. he takes your hands and pins them behind your back. “harder.” you wince out, and he whistles.
“you have no idea what you just asked for.” he says, doing the opposite and slowing down. “you won’t be able to speak, baby.”
baby. you moan at the nickname.
you’re way past the point of ‘omg i’m hanging out with matt sturniolo!’
you try bouncing your ass back again, but this time he smacks it and spreads your legs wider to plow into you deeper. “so impatient.” he sighs.
all you can do is scream and gasp for air with each thrust, hands balled up into fists.
your mind becomes blank once your eyes cross, your mouth hung open with your chin resting on the table. he hits just the right spot each time, squeezing around him.
“i— i—” you try to warn that you’re close, but your mind won’t let you.
he wasn’t kidding about the won’t be able to speak part.
“you can do it,” he says, knowing damn well you can’t.
your body becomes limp like a rag doll, matt having completely corrupted you.
he tuts fake pouting. “look who’s cock drunk. be a good girl and cum for me. you deserve it.”
blabbing a response, you squirt before cumming harder than before. usually, you’d be embarrassed, but you’re too far gone to care.
“that’s so hot.” he grunts, fucking you through your orgasm. “come on, baby. one more.”
“i can’t.” you sob, his hand letting go of yours before wrapping your hair not once but twice to lift your body to his.
“you can and you will,” he says, your third orgasm already building up in less than two minutes.
tears run down your face, eyes fluttering shut from the overwhelming amount of pleasure. there’s no way the human body can have this much pleasure and be okay.
matt kisses your neck, sucking a big mark when he finds the sweet spot. “i know you’re close already.” he says, his cum starting to leak into you deep.
you can’t stop your body from spasming, letting out one last sob before you cum again.
he pulls out, laying down on top of you and rubbing around your body soothingly to calm you down from your heavy breathing.
he covers your full cunt with your underwear so his cum doesn’t ooze out. he kisses your clothed pussy, and you flinch from the sensitivity. “making sure it’s in there.” he smirks.
after a few minutes, he helps you sit on the table to put your undergarments back on. your eyes are half closed from the post-sex haze.
matt grabs you water and a bag of chips before giving you one last hug. you guys talk for a little before he makes sure the coast is clear for you to get out without being seen.
you’re limping like crazy back to your car, seeing hannah impatiently tap her foot while leaning against the door.
once she sees you, she comes storming over. “you’re so lucky you’re my best friend or i would kill you.” she threatens. “i’ve been standing here for an hour.”
“i’m sorry.” you rasp out.
she studies your face, and it looks like you quite literally saw god. “oh my god, are you sure you are alright? you look like you got jumped.”
“it’s the after-show feeling.” you lie. “i’m exhausted. let’s go.”
she doesn’t question anymore, not even the random snacks and water you have. you start the car and place the stuff matt gave you down until you see there’s a post-it note attached to the bag of sour cream and onion.
to my favorite fan,
xxx-xxx-xxxx
text me when you get the chance, gorgeous
- matt :)
𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
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Popular Hades & Persephone "retellings" are, rightly, getting dunked on all over the socials right now and, as a Pagan who has an altar to the Queen, I could not be happier. But also, I feel like a lot of people miss WHY they're bad - aside from just plain bad writing and lazy tropes. Which are, yeah, also REALLY bad.
Pretty much all retellings try to wave away, or excuse, or twist the whole kidnapping bit. And I actually do have sympathy and understanding for why, when speaking from a modern perspective.
But honestly...you gotta get over it. There are other stories to play fix-it with, not this one.
The Abduction is The Thing.
Were I a little more sober I could bring up chapter and verse of the Hymn to Demeter but frankly, if you know even the middle school mythology curriculum version of the story, you SHOULD know the themes. The story of Persephone was one mothers and daughters in the ancient world held dear, because it was a reality: you will, one day, be swept away from your home to go cleave to a man you most likely know nothing about. You will miss your mother, but chances are very good that he will be a good husband, once you get to know him, certainly better than Zeus or Ares, and he will make you a queen of his home.
Leaving home to marry was often scary, and violent (look up the history of the tradition of Bridesmaids, if you don't already know it - they were originally decoys on the marriage road). Centuries later we'd have tales like Beauty & The Beast serving the same function: comfort, hope, you are leaving your safe loving home to figure life out with a (often older, powerful) stranger. Your trauma over this sudden ending of your childhood made manifest in a Beast, or a God of The Underworld.
It's wonderful that we don't NEED stories like this anymore to comfort us (here, at least, in this culture). But if you try to force them into modern vernacular it just will not work, not really, because you're gutting out the whole point just to have a more tidy romantic male hero.
I have read MANY very good ...novelizations? fanfic(? however you would frame them, but they're certainly not "retellings"), etc. that simply take advantage of the blank spaces in the myth, and there are many!
It's not explicit that sexual assault happens - "The Rape of Persephone" as a title was coined in much earlier eras, when the word was just as often used to simply refer to abduction.
"She was starving!" the gods didn't need to eat. So it's easy to read her eating the Pom seeds as a deliberate choice on her part. Like, shit, people, scholars have written whole papers on the symbolism of this moment, between marriage rites and even yeah, Seph choosing both worlds with her husband's knowing consent.
And that, I think, is the real heart of the thing. People want an utterly mundane, spelled-out story here, as opposed to what it really is, has always been, just like any other myth or religious parable: IT'S A METAPHOOOOOOR.
They don't need to be destined, or meet at a goddamned BALL and then CONSPIRE to fake her kidnapping, or shit, I once saw one where Hades got MIND CONTROLLED by Zeus?! Jesus.
Persephone was yoinked into the Underworld against her will.
That's how it went.
I don't mean this in a "stay out of my belief system!" way, shit I'm a white American chick with delusions of witchery. I mean this in a "stop stressing yourself out trying to make things palatable" way:
This is a very real, very precious myth to many people, BECAUSE for at least that one event, Persephone had no autonomy, BECAUSE for thousands of years most women had no autonomy. Erasing that, sanitizing the fact that a girl is ripped out of the spring, from her mother's arms, is erasing the thing that gave comfort to women for centuries. And people can and should still find power and healing in it now!
Fill in the blanks the story leaves in whatever manner seems fit to you, there's plenty of room, but. Come the fuck on.
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