#so I’m gonna be petty and stubborn and leave her to be pissed off cause she upset me first

[bambino1294]

and when I get out of this FUCKING HOUSE

[hhhecates]

New Jujutsu Kaisen hc because I like to suffer and I got this idea after my sign language inumaki hc.

Okay, so... we all know that in animes there's usually that one really stoic and aloof character whose friends are complete fucking idiots and they just have to deal with them, so most of the times they are just annoyed as fuck?? (Yes, I am completely using fushiguro, nobara and itadori's friendship dynamics as a reference)

And we also know that at some point, maybe because faced with their past or because they actually risked to lose their friends, there's that one scene when the stoic character looks at their two dumbass friends arguing over something trivial and they are staring at them from the sidelines,,, and suddenly they just burst into this soft precious smile with rosy cheeks because they realize how much they care for these two idiots even if they drive them crazy?? And everyone looks back at the stoic character completely fucking baffled because what??? They had never seen them smile before and it's just so heartwarming??

But now, just consider sarcastic and annoying reader, soft spoken and polite to the point of mockery towards higher ups and loud and stubbornly undaunted when crossed. Reader is basically the pissy intj of the situation who is halfway between self-deprecating and god complex (gojo probably raised them lol, let's be real). And contrary to the stoic character, who's a little tsundere sometimes?? and who doesn't want to admit they care, intj reader just doesn't care. They don't want to. They don't know if it's worth it and are probably afraid that it's not.

Imagine them being a second year, and they're infamous because as much as you'd like to hate them (and prob a lot of people do) their "friends" really can't. Because reader is all about gratuitous sarcasm and soiled stubbornness that makes you roll your eyes, but they are also the first one to believe in Maki with everything they have got when she talks about her family history, they're the one that silence harshly the petty remarks of the Zenin whenever the most important families in Jujutsu meet, and no, it's not because they think maki can't fight her own battles, they'd never dare open their mouth to defend her because they know maki's own actions and achievements speak much louder, but they will never tolerate the Zenin's disrespect towards her.

They are the one that secretly buy books about sign language to learn it for inumaki, and before that they had an evergrowing list of his onigiri vocabulary on the noteapp of their phone. They're the ones that stay to the dorms with Panda when the others go get snacks because Panda can't really go out on their own, and reader always brushes it off by saying that they don't like going out anyways. They're the one that firstly greeted Yuuta with a half smile, tired but not forced nor fake, and called Rika a "pretty girl" because while she might have looked "just so scary", reader knew better than to dismiss the little girl still behind that "scary" appearance.

Reader is the one that exasperatedly yells at fushiguro, bite in their voice but none in their words, when they tell him that his thoughts and concerns are real and valid. They are the one that huff at itadori's sulking about sukuna and flick his forehead, then reassuring him not to have regrets for wanting to save people's lives when he ate that damn finger and that "whatever stupid thing you do, your senpais will have your back". Reader is the one that tries out new bakeries for Nobara in their free time so that she doesn't have to visit every single one in order to find Saori, and then brings her back her favourite pastries. And they're still the one that when gojo whines loudly, halfway between truly joking and self-deprecating, sigh at him and say in a joking tone "You might be standing alone as the strongest, but that doesn't mean that you always need to stand alone, you know that right?".

And it's so frustrating, because if any of the people at Jujutsu High was to be asked to describe reader, probably that would still leave every single one of them with their mouth hanging open in search of words, because they are annoyingly stubborn and loud, probably a little bit pretentious too, they're also soft and caring and attentive.

But they also know nothing more, nothing else about them. So what the fuck are they supposed to say??

Now, imagine that it all comes tumbling down one day, the elders come to Tokyo Jujutsu High to take reader with them (I imagine reader being like part of one of the main families, not the main threes, maybe a really important one just for the politics?? And the kind that just marries off their children to the three main families in exchange of retaining a high position, and like reader wasn't even born into it, they were adopted because they had like a really strong cursed technique or smth, that's why people from Jujutsu High didn't know who they were, cause they kept their old surname and basically escaped from their old life, cause fuck it, if the elders want them just to be someone's spouse, they are gonna be petty like that and become one of the best sorcerers instead).

For the first time they see reader scared out of their fucking mind, cause no, they don't want for their friends and their teacher to see them like this, to get their past thrown back at their face and drag everyone down with them. It makes them feel weak and helpless, and they fucking despise it.

But ofc no one there is gonna have any of the elders shit, gojo in the first place, and the second years too, boi they are so pissed, the first years just throw all caution towards the elders outta the window, cause they don't care.

They just refuse to hand reader over like they're not their own person.

And let's say they manage to send the elders back empty handed (for now at least, cause yes, I have more hc). But everyone if so fucking shocked??? And naturally now they see reader in a completely different light. And they treat them differently too.

And of course reader notices, how could they not, and they feel so disgusted cause they don't want their pity, they don't need it, they had spent already enough time pitying themselves.

But the thing is that they aren't acting like this out of pity, they don't pity reader, quite the opposite, they just see them as stronger. Because now they saw that reader too has weaknesses and insecurities, and all those things that reader calls disgusting and tries to hide, all those things that make reader agonizingly human. All those things that make them even more of a precious and admirable friend in everyone's eyes.

And so like, imagine that reader has closed themselves off in their dorm room, and no one is allowed in. They come out just late at night to take something to eat, but this time, they find everyone there in the kitchen/living room or whatever, and when they see reader coming all of them start stumbling on their words: the first years and their calls of "senpai! Please don't go back!" fushiguro is there too, and even maki looks worried, inumaki is weirdly serious, yūta visibly wants to speak but can't seem to find the right words and gojo sensei is there too, trying to silence everyone because of course, he is the teacher so "I need to be the first talking!".

And reader is just there, standing and watching all the people they care about the most argue and stutter. And it's a whole fucking mess, but it's okay, because reader is a bit of a mess too, and afterall who isn't?

And suddenly they all turn around to look back at reader because they be on the floor laughing their ass off at the scene, and then they stop laughing and look back at them with the biggest and yet softest smile ever.

And they take everyone's breath away, not because they had never seen reader smiling or laughing, they have, they do it plenty of times, but it's never like this. It's never this happy.

And it's in that moment that reader understands. They see it, and it's as clear as a day. They want to care. They care so fucking much. Because them, all of them, they are worth it.

.

.

.

Wheew, this turned out to be longer than expected,,, I’m so sorry shsjsksk. Also, thank you SO much for everyone who read, commented or liked my previous headcanon about inumaki knowing sign language, I really didn’t think anyone would read it, I just wrote it for shit and giggles but and now I don’t know how to respond???Also maybe I’ll be posting more of these, like a series with this reader? Yeah, I really can’t keep my mouth shut so lol.

[wifekasa]

hello! i really enjoy ur content and i read that ur requests are open, so is it okay if i can request something where levi and the reader had an argument, and the rest of the scouts are very aware of it because of the very cold and scary aura coming from them, and so the squad tries various ways to set them up so they can make up with another? thank you!!😁

a/n: ahh first of all thank you! second off, i love this idea omg 🙏 also the reader is another captain!!

levi x reader

“don’t die on me.”

cw: swearing, one kiss scene, mentions of death (barely)

The scouts immediately knew something was wrong when you entered the dining area. It was like there was a dark aura floating around your body that caused everyone within a 4 foot vicinity of you to scatter away like startled birds. Your eyebrows were furrowed and your back was hunched. You stalked into the room and sank down beside Hange who seemed rather unfazed by your cold attitude.

“Oi. Y/N. What’s up with the murderous look in your eye? I think you made the scouts shit themselves.” They chuckled, biting into their bread and looking at you with a hint of amusement twinkling in their eyes.

You lip twitched downward as you scoffed, “Ask shorty.”

Hange made a noise of surprise that you ignored, turning back to your food. You were not in the mood to be pestered. Picking at your food with distain, you tuned out the rest of the room. Due to this, you missed the short raven-haired man walking into the room with the same cold presence that you were amitting. You felt his eyes burning holes into your head but refused to look up, you didn’t wanna give that bastard the time of day.

Levi scoffed when you ignored him, grabbing his plate and settling down at the opposite end of your table. Hange nearly rolled their eyes at the pettiness the two of you were displaying.

Clearing their throat, the titan enthusiast spoke up, “Trouble in paradise?”

“Shut up.” You both countered in sync, still refusing to acknowledge eachother.

The two of you were too stubborn to admit that you were wrong. Maybe neither of you were in the wrong but after the shouting match that took place last night, you didn’t feel like immediately making amends. You had tried to express to Levi how scared you were that he was going to die on one of these missions, however your tone was quite harsh and Levi misread it. He took it as you not having faith in his abilities which was a punch to the gut for the stubborn Captain. He in return, argued that you were running the same risk on missions and since you weren’t nearly as strong as him, you had an even higher risk of getting hurt. Frustrated that he insulted your abilities and didn’t see your point, you stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind you.

The two of you hadn’t spoken since the blowup last night and it was now mid-afternoon the next day. You were in charge of training the scouts this afternoon and due to the anger boiling up inside of you, you put them through a particularly rigorous training course. All of them were clutching their sides and panting heavily when you finally dismissed them.

“Is it just me or does Captain Y/N seem a little harsh today?” Connie spoke up as he downed a glass of water.

“Yeah, that training course kicked my ass. I think they had a fight with Levi, I heard some of the soldiers talking about it.” Jean replied.

Sasha was quiet for a minute before she finally spoke up, “I have an idea!” She exclaimed with a mischievous glint in her eye.

“That’s not good.” Armin commented quietly.

Later that night, Sasha had cornered you and told you there was scary noises coming from a broom closet and had asked for help checking it out. You reluctantly agreed, only because it was getting late and you wanted to get to bed. The two of you went to the closet, footsteps echoing across the quiet halls.

Entering the small room, you spoke, “Hmm. Sasha there’s nothing in here, are you sure-.” You got cut off due to the door being slammed in your face and locked shut.

Jiggling the handle aggressively, you yelled, “Sasha Braus I swear to god, if you don’t let me out of here it’s no bread for a week!”

Sasha gulped but stayed strong, hoping Armin was on his way with Levi. Ten minutes later, Armin showed up... without Levi. Sasha’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, “Armin, where the hell is Levi?!”

Armin scratched the back of his neck, “He wouldn’t come. Said I should ‘get some balls and go look at the noise by myself’.”

Sasha sheepishly opened the door to a very angry Captain, crying as you yelled and told her she wasn’t getting bread for a week. You’d almost felt bad if it weren’t for the fact that several spiders decided to crawl up your leg while you were trapped inside the miserable closest.

The next day, you were in an even worse mood because of the broom closet accident. So, the scouts went back to planning the reunion of their two grumpy captains.

The new plan consisted of getting the two of you within ten feet of each other, which proved difficult. Eren and Jean would both ask for combat training from the two of you and hoped that maybe being close to each other would spark a conversation between you two.

However, the plan backfired when seeing eachother made the two of you even angrier so you both fought the boys aggressively which resulted in Jean and Eren laying on their asses as the two of you stalked off in seperate directions.

You were quite grumpy at this point, snapping at the smallest things and taking things out on the wrong people. You knew it was wrong but you couldn’t help it; it felt like everyone was trying to piss you off.

By now, Hange had grown tired of you and Levi’s negative energy and the beat-up scouts. So finally, they decided to step in.

They found you in your office working on paperwork and quickly grabbed your hand, rudely dragging you away from your work.

“What the hell Hange!” You exclaimed, trying to turn back to your work but Hange had a suprisingly strong grip.

“Sorry! But I need to show you this thing I’ve been working on. It’s urgent!” They explained as they pulled you through the halls. They stopped in front of a random room, opening the door and shoving you in.

“Oi, four eyes, where is the ‘urgent thing’ you needed to show me?” You gasped as you realized Levi was in the room that Hange had just thrown you into.

Levi’s eyes widened when he noticed you in the room and he started shaking his head, “Don’t you dare Hange-.”

SLAM.

Hange locked the door, leaving the two of you sitting alone in your tension. The silence was heavy as you avoided eye contact, plotting the many ways you could get back at the scientist for this later. You were so caught up in your own thoughts you didn’t even realize Levi was staring at you till he spoke up.

“Do you ever plan to let us talk this out or are you just gonna be an angry brat for the rest of your life?” His tone was cold.

Your eyes snapped up to meet his grey ones, searching them for any emotion but you were met with nothing, his walls were up. “What is there to talk about? You made it clear how you feel.”

“How I feel?” He questioned.

“That I’m not strong enough for you. Maybe I’m not humanity’s strongest but I’m talented and that deserves to be recognized. I’m not gonna let you shit on my talent just because I hurt your ego. Which by the way, I don’t even know why you thought I was attacking your skills. I just want you to be safe and I don’t know why you can’t just- MHPM.” Your rant was cut off midway by the feeling of warm lips against yours.

You froze for a moment before returning the kiss, running your hands up into his hair and opening your mouth to deepen the kiss. Levi’s hands snaked around you waist, pulling you tight against his chest. This continued for a few more seconds before you pulled away, cheeks flushed and lips swollen.

Levi spoke up, “I know you’re a talented soldier, it’s something I really respect about you. I shouldn’t have phrased it the way I did, I just... I don’t want to lose you. So, I want you to be the best because then, my chances of loosing you are less.” You looked at him in shock.

His grey eyes showed love and ... fear. The fear of loosing you like he’d lost so many. Your chest tightened at the sight. Tears pricked in your eyes as you pulled him into another hug.

“You don’t have to worry about me, okay? I’m gonna fight with everything I got to make sure I come home to you. You just make sure you do the same, don’t go dying on me.” Your speech was slightly muffled by his shirt but he nodded nonetheless.

“Yay! The lovebirds finally made up! Good! I was worried you were gonna kill the scouts.” Hange laughed from the other side of the now opened door.

a/n: this ain’t the greatest but i wrote it at midnight so yk 😐👋

[mego42]

good girls appreciation week 2021: day 2 // places and spaces: pwp in the paper porcupine

for places and spaces day, i’m going back in time to celebrate one of my fav show locations: the paper porcupine, specifically the back room.

if there is one thing above all else i am a truly desperate heaux for, it’s a good art room. what can i say? i spent my formative years haunting them and there’s something about a paint/ink/god knows what splattered work table that does it for me. add in a mechanical printing press? nirvana, truly.

so without further ado, allow me to rec some fics that use the space as god intended.

one thing that always stands out to me about this fic is how well it captures the snap, crackle and pop between beth and rio

it opens with them literally giving each other the silent treatment while still hanging out alone for hours on end in the paper porcupine while beth prints for weeks

yes that weeks includes the mutual stubborn silence

iajs that’s the kind of petty that really makes this ship shine

and then when they break, the nasty, bitter reckoning that spills out only serves as foreplay for a hookup that perfectly captures that half bitter antagonism, half desperation to reconnect dichotomy that characterized their s3 dynamic

in addition to a fantastic hook up, the back and forth banter and energy is really what makes this fic shine

1000000/10

fav quote:

“You’re a shit shot,” he says instead, so close now their chests are grazing with every intake of breath.

“I had a shit teacher. Kinda full of himself.”

Read on AO3

is it that i love pp back room hook ups or the post 213/rio’s return from the dead angsty tension? who can say, really

(both, both is good)

whatever it is, have another!!! this fic is specifically a take on the missing scene from the infamous 304 money-making promo i mean montage

what DID they do while they waited for the pulp to dry?????

the tone of this one leans a little more heavy than the previous rec as beth and rio grapple with the bitter weight of everything between them and how it’s made that much more complicated by how present the good parts of their history are as well, and how much they can’t/don’t want to escape either

idk guys, that juxtaposition is the specific flavor of angst i live for

i also love love love that in this one rio’s the one poking at the open wound of their relationship and i love that it’s the key to beth unlocking and airing some of her own grievances. communication! who knew!?

fav quote:

“I like watchin' you work.”

Me too. She wants to say. I like you watching me too. She wants to say. But her mouth is dry and her voice doesn't work so she‘s silent.

“I fuckin' hate that I like it.”

Read on AO3

how do i love this fic, let me count the ways (jk we’ll be here all day bc i love it a lot)

remember how i said my favorite flavor of angst is the kind that runs on a combo of bitter and poignant memory? well boy howdy does this fic nail that like whoa

while this fic is much more sprawling than just hooking up in the pp, that is both where it starts-ish AND a returned to feature including an A++++ negotiation for a new and better blender

points deducted for mention of the keyhole sweater (I KID!!!!!!!) (not about hating the keyhole sweater, it looks so itchy idk why, but about the points deduction)

basically, to cap it off, this is one of my fav rio pov fics, it does such an incredible job capturing this completely exasperated, vaguely pissed off about it, but also kind of desperately into it vibe that feels so exactly right for a later s3 era rio starting to realize how deep his feelings for beth may in fact go and losing his mind about it and i love it a lot

plus the anti-beth list of hook up criteria remains i think one of my favorite things in any brio fic ever, so

and this is all just ch 1, i’m still not ready to talk about ch 2 but just know i think about the bit in the shower a normal amount

fav quote:

No women between 5’7 and 5’10, ‘cause Elizabeth’s height fluctuates dependin’ on her shoes.

No women with doe eyes, doesn’t matter the color, ‘cause she’s all he sees when he looks into ‘em.

They can’t drink bourbon or tequila shots, and shit, it’s not even the things she likes, but the things she doesn’t, too—which means no women nursin’ a chard or a rosé, either.

If they’re got a flower printed or embroidered or embossed anywhere on their person, they’re out.

He’s left women in parkin’ lots for drivin’ vans, and said goodnight ‘cause they carry a large brown purse.

Read on AO3

like i was gonna leave the iconic brio try butt stuff fic off of the list

what i really love about this fic, aside from the fact that it’s hot af, is how well it captures the competitive aspect of beth and rio’s dynamic and how they’re always playing a game and trying to score points against each other

in this version it’s on the playful, almost, dare i say, affectionate end of the spectrum and the way it’s woven throughout gives the fic an extra spark that makes the story an absolute delight

this is also like, the peakest of peak beth, i.e. blurts out something she didn’t mean to and then not only will she gnaw her own arm off before admitting a mistake or defeat but she’s actually gonna flip this whole thing around and lean in as hard as she can and be the absolute best

i also love how rio immediately gets on her level and takes it just as seriously as she is but still finds ways to tease her, without like, teasing her (this makes sense shut up)

what i’m trying to say is the characterization is flawless throughout and captures all of the best things about them and their dynamic perfectly and i love it thank you and goodnight

fav quote:

It’s playful, more of a game than anything else. It’s just that he tends to be a bit more agreeable when she’s sucking him, just a bit more willing to be persuaded when he’s inside her. Usually, she’s asking for something small, like a new blender or a larger supply of singles, something she knows he won’t say no to. Beth has fun with it, daydreaming up some pretext or another while she’s printing. It’s easier this way, to pretend that what they’re doing is nothing more than a transaction.

To pretend it really is just business.

And if he lingers when they’re done—to kiss her and hold her and laugh with her—well, it means nothing if she doesn’t think about it.    

Read on AO3

[nothinghcppens]

when nothing’s said- fred weasley

masterlist

pair: fred weasley x slytherin!female!reader

summary: y/n has known the weasley twins since first year and wanted nothing more than to befriend the pair, but one of them wants nothing to do with her. never one to back down, she worms her way into their lives and captures the heart of fred, whether he likes it or not.

warnings: slight swearing, italics is memories

a/n: first hp fic!!! thank you for all the support on my marvel fics so far it means so much <333 i’m gonna start a taglist so message me if you want to be added! and specify if you want to be added to marvel, hp or both! also requests are open!

“wicked.” you heard the voices of fred and george weasley chant behind you. their voices still managed to boom over the loud chatter of zonko’s. they were looking at the new line of products that had been added to the shelves. you were in your last year at hogwarts and had been through your entire school career with the twins. however, you had a love-hate relationship with them.

being sorted into slytherin in your first year immediately made them dislike you, their deep rooted hatred for slytherins being the cause of that. you met on your first day, in the great hall before the sorting ceremony. you heard their murmurs about pranks and tricks they could play on each professor and a small smile crept on your face.

“oi! what you smiling at?” the one on the left asked, you later found out to be fred.

“i strongly suggest you don’t prank professor snape. that won’t turn out well on your behalf.” you replied. your parents were high up in the ministry of magic and were well respected individuals in the wizarding world. they had told you all about the professors at hogwarts and what to expect when you arrived.

“oh yeah? i don’t know about you fred, but i don’t think professor snape stands a chance against us.” the one on the right said, george, you now know.

“you’re absolutely right, george.”

“y/n y/l/n!” professor mcgonagall announced and you stepped up to the sorting hat.

“oh? a y/l/n? i remember your mother. you two are very similar. wow, i see. very cunning. very ambitious... slytherin!”

and that was all it took. that budding friendship, gone. it was more fred than george, well at least that’s what you seemed to notice. fred had a very sort fuse and could never seem to control his anger towards you, george seemed to tolarate you a little more.

you had many run ins with the them throughout your years in hogwarts, many of them to fred’s demise.

“hey george! you said you needed help with potions?” you called, jogging slightly to catch up with them.

“yeah, you’re like crazy smart at it and snape doesn’t like me.”

“snape doesn’t like anyone.” you stated.

“he likes you.” he replied.

“it’s only because she’s slytherin. he doesn’t care that she’s the smartest in our class.” fred complained.

“you think i’m smart?”

“everyone thinks that.” he said. you send him a confused look, did he just compliment you? “i mean, you like to rub it in everyone’s face that’s all.”

“ignore him. library after dinner?”

although the fred disliked you and george only spoke to you for help with potions, their friend lee jordan had a soft spot for you and you two actually got on very well.

“y/n!” lee called. he pushed through the crowds of children to where you stood near the entrance.

“hey lee.” you greeted with a smile, “where are dumb and dumber?”

“drooling over new products, what’s new?” he replied.

you chucked, “usual for them then.”

“who are you with?” he asked.

“uh, y/f/n. she’s looking for something to get her brother.” you explained.

lee nodded his head, “how about you two join us for some drinks at the three broomsticks?”

“hmm a chance to piss off the twins? how could i resist?” you teased.

“meet us there in like half an hour?” he suggested.

“of course. see you then.” you said, winking at him and leaving to find your friend.

you scanned the busy store in search for y/f/n, noticing her talking to adrian pucey.

“hey, y/f/n, adrian.” you greeted. adrian and your friend both smiled warmly at you.

“afternoon, y/n.” he said, “me and y/f/n were planning to head back to the common room, want to join us?”

“actually, lee just invited me to the three broomsticks. why don’t you come with us?”

y/f/n scoffed, “what? just to see you and fred bicker like a married couple the whole time? thanks but no thanks.”

“it’s not my fault he doesn’t like me! i’m only going to talk to lee anyway.” you explained.

“uh huh, sure you are.” she mumbled.

“oh shut up.” you said, laughing lightly.

“i need to pay for this stuff,” y/f/n stated, gersturing to the items in her hands. “you guys wait here and then we can walk you to the three broomsticks.”

you and adrian made conversation until she came back, robes pockets slightly bigger than before she left.

“shall we?” adrian said, letting you guys leave first.

the streets of hogsmeade were filled with excited students, snow falling on their heads. you wrapped your coat around you tighter, feeling the harsh breeze under it. the wooden sign of the three broomsticks came into view and you saw lee and the twins standing outside.

“well, i’ll see you guys later.” you announced, waving at the pair as you walked away.

you approached the trio of boys and greeted them, “good evening boys.”

“where’s y/f/n?” lee asked.

“oh her and pucey wanted to go back to the dungeons.” you explained.

“what the fuck lee? you said we were waiting for angelina.” fred spat.

“whoops sorry, must’ve forgot.” he joked with a large smile on his face.

fred groaned in annoyance and walked into the three broomsticks. “what’s got his knickers in a twist?” you asked.

“he just fancies you.” george replied, with a smirk.

“oh yeah, who wouldn’t.” you joked. you stepped into the dimly lit pub and swept your eyes across the busy tables. george came in behind you with lee and lead you to a table where fred sat with a scowl set on his face. him and lee went to get butterbeers for the table, leaving you two alone.

“hey sunshine.” you said, sliding in beside him. his mouth stayed shut and his eyes stayed trained on the empty booth in front of him. “you cant ignore me forever.”

“actually i can, sunshine. and i will.” he replied.

“merlin, you’re so dramatic. is this only because i’m an evil, muggle-born murdering, slytherin? or is there something else to it?”

he scoffed and turned his head to look at you. “oh come on! just because i’m a slytherin doesn’t mean i’m evil.”

“i’m pretty sure it does.”

you let out a shocked laugh, “grow up fred. i’ve never done anything to you. you’re the one that pranks my friends and i! and fair enough some of my house mates are wankers but me and y/f/n haven’t done anything to you.”

he opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it immediately. “i think you need to let go of this petty hatred towards me.”

“i think he does too.” lee announced as he approached the table with two butterbeers in his hands. him and george sat on the other side of the booth from you and slid two glasses across the table.

“he’s not one to back down easy is my brother.” george said.

“very stubborn so he is.” lee added.

“right that’s enough you two.” fred groaned, taking a swig of his drink.

“anyway, did you listen to that record i gave you?” lee asked you.

“yep, i’ve been listening to it on repeat. my roommates hate me for it.” you replied, chuckling.

“you like muggle music?” fred questioned.

“yeah it’s actually how lee and i became friends, he heard me whistling a song by queen and began singing along. since then we’ve been giving each other albums to listen to.” you explained. you took a sip of your butterbeer.

“wicked, what album was it he gave you recently?” he asked. out of the corner of your eye you saw george and lee subtly high five each other and begin having their own conversation.

“it was parklife by blur, it came out last year.” you said.

“i think i remember lee playing that one. when you give it back i’ll make sure to listen to it.”

you and fred spent the next hour bonding over your love for muggle music. you were surprised that he listened to so much and you guys actually had a very similar taste in music.

“do you remember professor lupin?” you asked. fred glanced over to george and smiled lightly.

“uh yeah, vaguely.” he replied with a laugh.

“well one time i was going to ask him for help with my essay on vampires and he was listening to david bowie! i mean i knew he was my favourite teacher but that just made me love him even more.”

“bowie huh? i can see that.” he said, nodding in approval.

“oi you two.” george stated, catching both your attention. “we’re gonna head back.”

“do you want to go?” you asked.

“you two go on, we’ll stay here for a bit yeah?” he replied, turning to look at you for confirmation. you nodded with a smile which fred returned.

george chuckled and winked at fred who just rolled his eyes. you watched the pair leave the pub and turned your attention back to fred.

“it must be fun having so many siblings.”

“it is, they’re so much fun to prank.” he chuckled. “want to go for a walk?”

“you want to go for a walk with me?” you asked with feigned shock.

“shut it, come on.” he grabbed his glass and finished the leftover butterbeer at the bottom before pushing you slightly to get you out the booth.

you slid out and grabbed your coat that you had abandoned earlier, putting it back on.

the cold air hit your face as you opened the door, fred stepped out behind you. he sucked in a breath, “bloody hell it’s freezing out here.”

“good solve detective.” you joked.

“being a cheeky bugger is my job.”

“well now you’ve got some competition.” you laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you walked down the main street. a comfortable silence fell over the two of you as the snow fell on the ground. the crunch of your shoes against the snow was all the could be heard.

questions began to flood your head, why was fred here with you? what made him change his mind? shouldn’t he hate you? surely talking about music wasn’t enough for him to get over whatever made him despise you?

“okay i have to ask.” you blurted. fred glanced at you and nodded, signalling for you to continue. “why are you here?”

he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“don’t you hate me? i feel like you shouldn’t be as nice to me as you are being right now, considering you avoided me like the plague from first year. i’m not sure what i did, but i’m just confused on how you seem to no longer hate my guts-“

suddenly his lips were on yours and you froze, he was kissing you? why? you pulled back in shock and looked up at him, glancing between both his eyes.

“why did you do that?” you asked.

“i don’t hate you. i never have. i was pissed off myself for liking you, for thinking you were beautiful.” he explained, “you are a slytherin and for some stupid reason that made me push you away.” he placed his hands on your arms, “i’ve been raised on the idea that slytherin’s are all evil and are all with them. but i know now, that’s not true. so i’m sorry.”

“merlin you are one soppy bastard aren’t you! i accept your apology don’t worry.” you said, “i knew you secretly didn’t hate me.” you smiled up at him.

“how could i? you’re a catch darling.” he replied with a smirk.

“anymore of that and my head will be bigger than yours.” you joked. “anyway, i believe i owe you something.”

“what?-“ you leaned up and kissed him before he got the chance to say anything else. he smiled against your lips and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. you lifted your arms up around his neck and laced your hands together.

fred pulled away first, breathing heavily. “wait till george hears about this. godric he’ll go mental.”

“he told me that you fancied me earlier, should’ve believed him.”

he chuckled and pressed his forehead against yours, “what’ll your family think when you tell them you’re dating a weasley?” he asked.

“woah, woah, woah. dating are we?” you teased.

“obviously, love. unless that’s not what you want.” he replied, placing his hand on your cheek and rubbing his thumb across your lips.

“i’ve wanted that since the moment you called me smart.”

“i wasn’t subtle at all was i?” he asked, cheeks going slightly red from embarrassment.

“not really now that i think about it. but i was oblivious.”

fred chuckled and pressed a soft kiss against your lips again, exhaling a laugh through his nose.

“can we continue this somewhere warm? i’m freezing out here.”

[silvia7272]

ML Salt ~ The Cardigan Story

This is based on a true story.

Honestly, I always remembered this story because it constantly made my Sister and Mum laugh when I told them I outed a liar at school by wearing a cardigan, they were so proud of me because what I did wasn’t mean and I wasn’t even doing it out maliciousness so I thought, hey why not put it in the ML universe?

This isn’t canon to my main series so no Rosina since there isn’t any need for her, sorry sweetie.

And since I doubt Mlle Bustier would never out Lila, I’m changing the teacher to someone who actually has a backbone.

Word Count: 2303

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @luleck, @themotherofhogwarts, @more-or-less-human-i-guess, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.

I know you may not wish to be tagged for one-shots, but I thought you might enjoy some salt I was able to come up with.

Also, I wrote this in one day so I’m extremely proud of myself.

***

If you told Marinette that Lila’s reign over the school would end over a cardigan, she would tell you you’re as crazy as she was about Adrien.

A lot.

But, she did just that.

She had to thank Adrien really, the ‘advice’ he gave her was what really pushed her.

She wouldn’t outright expose her, no, she had tried that before and look where that got her, near expulsion that’s what. And not one of her friends tried to stick up for her. She always remembered that glare Alix gave her, and since then she had been ignored, turned away by them.

Even after Lila came out with ‘the truth’ she was still seen as an overly jealous girl.

“Lila’s promised she hasn’t lied about anything else she’s said to us, it only acts up around people she doesn’t know as well, maybe next time, instead of being jealous you should give her a chance and stop being a baby. Girl this all could’ve easily been avoided if you weren’t so Adrien crazy”

Really? They actually believed that load of crap?

Whatever, Marinette was done, done with everyone.

If they wanted to show her how wrong she was then she’d let them wait until hell would frost over, because fat chance that would ever happen.

If Marinette was proud of one thing about her then it would have to be her stubbornness to get to the truth.

And she could be extremely patient.

***

It was just an average day at Collège Françoise Dupont. There weren’t any Akuma’s caused by anyone the previous day so Marinette was finally able to have a good night’s rest, something the exhausted teenager really missed.

She felt so re-energised she danced in the kitchen as she made breakfast without a care in the world.

.

Before she fell over that was.

“���Owww”

“Careful dear, you wouldn’t want to be hurt before school hours, now just sit tight and I’ll get you something to eat,” Her Maman said. Marinette felt grateful. After breakfast, she gave her Parents a kiss before leaving.

She had loving parents that supported her every beck and call.

…Well most of the time, but that didn’t matter, she would never let Lila manipulate them ever, her Parents were off-limits.

By the time she arrived at school she was one of the first ones there, Nathaniel in the back drawing his comics, texting Marc as well, it seemed like he was in his own ‘do not disturb’ bubble. Max was talking to Markov about some new type of game, and Rose and Juleka were just cuddling.

She made her way to the back feeling a positive emotion before exhaling.

Because it was about to be ruined.

Lila walked in with Alya, Nino and Adrien by her side.

She was telling a story about her ‘one of a kind cardigan-

Wait-

“My Grandmother made this cardigan especially for me carving her signature on as well, it’s the only one in existence because shortly after she made this, she ended up being in a terrible accident that left her bedridden.” They pandered to her of course. But for once she wasn’t focusing on the lie but the cardigan.

Oh, Lila’s only gone and done it now.

“I’ve always wanted to wear it, but I didn’t want it to end up ruined by someone” Her gaze casually went up to a lone bluenette, but she really wasn’t bothered.

“Don’t worry girl, I’ll keep a watchful eye on your cardigan for you. Ain't nothing gonna come between me and my besties property” They hugged before sitting down in their spaces.

‘Oh my god, I have a plan’ Marinette had that thought circled around her head until break. It was all she thought of.

Mind you, she wasn’t trying to expose everything she’d done, just that one lie. And that would be enough.

As soon as the bell rang, she was ready, she gathered her stuff and rushed home.

And thank god as well, Lila would not shut up about that cardigan, through Literature, Science and PE, it was constantly my Grandmother made it for me this, it’s the only one of its kind that.

Ugh, she wanted to rip her ears out at some point but had to endure it. No one else was bothered since they all believed her, even the teachers!

Yeah, you don’t really need any proof if it was handmade, some of Marinette’s earlier stuff didn’t have her signature on, but still, it was the principle of the matter!

And she could right that wrong.

In her room she was frantically searching for that item as Tikki dodged different articles of clothing, one hit her as she wasn’t looking, and she was down for the count.

“Marinette what are you looking for?” Marinette paused to look back at Tikki before continuing a bit calmer.

“Lila’s been lying about that cardigan and this time I can prove it.” Her eyes lit up as she lifted a cardigan up from her cupboard.

“One of Maman’s friends gave this to me a few years back, it was one of the reasons I got into fashion because of how soft it is and I wanted to replicate that. Don’t you think it looks familiar?” As Tikki looked over it her eyes widened, she knew Lila was lying anyway but she had no idea Marinette had definitive proof of it.

“That’s the same cardigan Lila has!” Marinette nodded before wearing it.

At least it still fit.

“But Marinette I thought we were gonna take the high ground?”

“Tikki it's tiring having to listen to them being lied too. I may not want them to be my friends anymore, but I just want the lying to stop. If I go and tell them that she’s lying with this as evidence they’ll clearly see she’s lying”

“But outing her like that won’t make it better!” Marinette wished she could respond with ‘are you sure’ but didn’t want to piss the mini-god off.

“Fine, what if I just wear it until someone notices, that way I’m not actively looking to publicly shame her? Better?” Tikki gave a reluctant nod, she knew her chosen wouldn’t let up about the situation, besides this whole thing was really just pettiness, nothing too serious. If no one noticed nothing bad would happen.

“Bye Maman, bye Papa” As she began walking back, she grew a bit nervous with her plan.

What if Lila made a whole other lie about her cardigan? What if she lied that Marinette had stolen it out of jealousy and everyone would try to take hers? She’d have to run away and live with a secret identity, all before getting caught and going to prison, and she’d never have her three kids and her hamster named-

“Ahem Marinette, is thou there?” A hand brought her out of her trance

“Ahhh!” She waved her arms before composing herself and seeing D’Argencourt in front of her.

“Ah, yes Monsieur?” How long had he been standing there? How long had she been rambling in her head?

“As I was saying, these new garments of yours, where did they originate from?” It took her a while before realising he was talking about her cardigan, she was so used to wearing her jacket it felt strange she had changed.

“Ohh this, well it was a present from Maman’s friend. They were on sale a few years back, so I thought I’d wear it again” He furrowed his brow before telling her to carry on with whatever she was doing.

“Well, that was weird. Do you think he liked the jacket?” Tikki ponded as her head ever so slightly popped out the small handbag.

“He’s always been weird Tikki. But whatever, let's just get back to the classroom.” All she had to do was wait.

***

‘How the hell hasn’t anyone noticed yet?’ Marinette was secretly fuming in her mind right now. None of her classmates noticed the change in her outfit.

Not one.

Bustier did however, the bluenette was sure because she’d see her teacher quickly glance from Marinette to Lila but never said a word. Probably thinking of that whole, ‘be the bigger person’ crap.

And not even the excuse of maybe Bustier didn’t know, bs. By the time break happened everyone in the school knew about that damn cardigan so don’t get her started.

‘Oh well, looks like that’s it. My petty revenge came flat… At least Lila didn’t pull a Marinette ruined my belongings stunt’ That would’ve been the last thing she needed.

Knock Knock Knock

The door opened before Bustier could reply, a teacher would reprimand a student for this type of rudeness, but it wasn’t a student.

It was a teacher.

And it was Monsieur D’Argencourt.

‘What the-’ Marinette didn’t remember this part of the plan.

“Excuse me Caline, but I need to interrupt the class for an announcement.” Bustier was about to deny but D’Argencourt the stubborn teacher as he was, walked straight on through ignoring whatever Bustier would’ve said.

“Lila Rossi, may you please step in front of the classroom?” Lila looking completely confused let go off Adrien, much to the relief of the boy, and walked in front of her desk.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” He didn’t need to repeat the command.

Yes, command not a request.

“Can I ask you where you got your cardigans from?”

“Armand, I don’t think this is appropriate-” He shot a glare back at the teacher.

“I can assure you this won’t take long if I’m not interrupted”

Lila looked over to Marinette and realised with a sinking feeling what was happening. But she would win this time. Just like all the others.

“My Grandmother made this specifically, you see-”

He held a hand up to silence her.

“Yes, that’s quite alright, and Marinette would you like to repeat what you said before?” As Marinette did just that Lila was seething, he cut her off. How dare that simpleton cut off Lila Rossi!

He would pay.

“Well, it appears one of you is lying, and I expect that person to own up to it now” The class gasped as they all looked expectedly at Marinette, they knew she was petty but to do this was so low.

Lila looked at her smugly, she had tried to play with fire but got burned in the process. How could she even think she’d get away with this?

“I was talking about you, Lila Rossi”

“Eh, what?” The class gasped as they tried to say of course Lila was innocent, Marinette was the one lying. Or that Marinette must’ve tricked him.

He shot a glare towards all the class members as they instantly shut up.

“I don’t remember this being a class discussion, if I want your opinion, I will ask for it. Understood?” They nodded before giving sympathetic glances towards the brunette, D’Argencourt almost had the urge to shout at their incompetence but alas they were kids.

“I can tell you why you are lying Lila, with a photo. But as I’m feeling generous, I will give you one more chance to reveal yourself.” The class was silent as they all looked on in anticipation.

But Lila stood her ground defiantly, as if he actually had proof-

Oh…

Oh no she’s doomed…

“Then I don’t suppose this looks familiar? Hmm?” On his phone was a picture. Lila immediately lowered her head, too ashamed to look him in the eye.

3 guesses of what it is?

No.

.

.

No one?

.

.

Too easy?

.

.

Ok, it was the cardigan.

And at a fairly cheap price. No wonder she had it in brand new condition.

“I first knew you were lying once I saw Marinette wear the exact same one, however, hers was clearly worn out, evidently she has worn it for several amount of years. You had already messed up when you said it was the only one made. So please…” Lila looked up to see D’Argencourt giving one of the most frightening glares of the century.

“Don’t ever lie about anything to my face or anyone ever again, you will be court out and I will be keeping an eye on you. Is that final?” She meekly nodded her head, trying to give a frightened appearance to make him have sympathy but he was immune.

“That will be all. I hope your class has learned a valuable lesson of not taking things at face value” And with that, he left. Leaving Marinette with a different impression of her PE teacher, it seemed he didn’t like liars all that much.

Marinette smiled, her plan worked, and she didn’t even out her herself. Tikki surely can’t be mad at her now.

Bustier tried to get the class to go back to normal but she couldn’t. The class erupted into a screaming fit, asking how Lila could lie about that sort of thing?

It wasn’t until someone unexpected said the next few words she wondered if this was a dream.

“Hey if Lila lied about this what else did she lie about? She even said herself she doesn’t lie to her friends but that was a lie” That made the class tick as they soon realised and soon torn into her about it.

Leaving Lila, a ‘sobbing mess’ on the floor. All before she stopped that fake display and arguing back.

But the one who said that…

Was Adrien.

He was able to slip by the crowd and stand next to Marinette.

No words were said, she knew what he would’ve said even without the noise.

‘I’m sorry’

It was a start, and maybe through time, she could start trusting again.

But for now, she just wanted to enjoy this chaos…

.

.

Before there was an Akuma alert.

***

I want more D’Argencourt I want more D’Argencourt I want more D’Argencourt. I probably screwed his speech but oh well this is salt, doesn’t have to be accurate.

Phew, hope you enjoyed it, sorry its shorter than the others but this happened when I was in Year 5 and I was 9/10 years old. Woo 10 years ago, god that makes me feel old. Also, not everything was exactly this way, the teacher did out the person in front of the whole class, but she admitted it and went back to her class, we had two classes for maths. Anyway, I actually have to give Lila credit compared to the liar we had at our school, this person actually knew I had that cardigan and actually complimented me on it like months earlier and still had the audacity to say that. I think that’s the reason why I think if I was in their world I wouldn’t believe Lila because I already had a Lila at my school who would always say they’ve done the exact same thing as we had (They even said they had the same Aunt as me living on the same street, crazy right). Mind you they never said anything to me, I think they were too embarrassed plus, I was a goody little two-shoes there.

Anyway I really hope you enjoy it and if you like real-life stories so much I can always try to ask my friends for more ideas, I did have like some slightly toxic friends there that I may be able to tell you about but I’ll try to think how later.

Cya next time.

[halstudandruz]

Always Have, Always Will ~ Part 3

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Sequel to Part 1 & Part 2

Warnings: Swearing

It had been about a month since Will found out. He avoided you and Jay at all costs only talking to you when he absolutely had to at work and you still felt just as guilty as before. Which only caused you to get into your own head. Yeah, you loved Jay but was it just the old Jay you loved? You both were different people now and that scared the hell out of you.

“Jay, do you want olives?” You yelled from the kitchen pulling the jar out when he came walking.

“No, I hate olives.” He answered coming up to wrap his arms around your waist.

“What?” You asked after a few seconds of silence.

“I hate olives, and so do you. Why do you even have them?” He asked, but you went stiff in his grip.

“Cause you love them, what do you mean you hate olives? You used to eat a jar a day.” You explained grabbing a hold of his wrists to loosen his arms around you.

“I know, that probably wasn’t good for my blood pressure. They got a little old after eating them so much.” He chuckled.

“But..what about the olive theory?” You turned to face him and a confused look came over his face.

“Why do you look like you're about to have a meltdown over olives?” He looked at you concerned taking in your features. Your mind was running rapidly, your chest starting to tighten.

“Because I am!” You exclaimed causing Jay to take a step back to get a good look at you by putting space between the two of you.

“Babe-“ He started going to grab your shoulders but you shrugged him off.

“I just..I need a minute.” You shook your head slipping past him into your room to shut the door. Tears were crowding your eyes and you were starting to breathe harder pacing around the room when Jay quietly earned.

“Babe. [Y/N]. Hey, come here. Talk to me.” He reached for you, setting you down on the bed beside him as you stared down at your shaking hands, “what’s going on?” His hand ran through your hair.

“I’m just scared. Terrified actually.” You admitted glancing at him.

“Of what?” He questioned grabbing a hold of your hands, steadying them.

“It’s just...we’re such different people now. Ya know? I feel like I know nothing about you.” You explained.

“[Y/N]..” Jay sighed.

“No, I’m serious. You’ve gone through things I can’t even begin to fathom. I mean obviously that has to change you, right? We’re not these teenagers who were clueless about the real world anymore. What..what if the people we are today just don’t fit like we used to?” You looked down into your lap, and were surprised to hear a small laugh come from Jay.

“Look here,” he whispered tilting my chin up with a finger, “no, we aren’t the same people we used to be, and yes we have a lot to learn about each other again. A lot of stories to catch up on, but we’re only the people we are today because of those clueless 18 year olds. We may have been through some shit since then, but I know with my whole heart you are still that stubborn, smart, gorgeous girl I fell in love with and that is the part of you I know I’ll always have.” He smirked at you, palm against your cheek.

“What if I can’t save you from everything you’ve gone through?” You worried.

“Baby girl, I don’t expect you to save me from anything. I just need you here that’s it and I know everything will be okay as long as I have that.” He assured you.

“I love you Jay Halstead.” You bit your lip.

“Even if I don’t like olives anymore?” He joked making you giggle.

“Even if you don’t like olives anymore.” You nodded leaning into to kiss him deeply, breaking when his phone began to ring. Sighing moved to dig it out of his pocket,

“I swear I’m gonna get rid of these.” He complained before answering, “What? Yes. Okay see you soon.” You looked at him, eyebrows raised. “Ruzek said they’re on their way to Molly’s.” He explained kissing your forehead as you nodded both moving around to change before going to meet with his team.

It was the first time you were actually going to be around them so you were sufficiently nervous walking over to their table Jay’s hands clasped tightly with yours.

“Hey, wait I know you!” Mouse looked at you intently.

“What? You sleep with Greg too?” Erin asked eyes on you.

“I-I uhm no?” You choked out nervously under her intense gaze, only relaxing a little when a smile took over her face.

“I’m kidding, come on sit down.” She patted the seat beside her.

“You’re the girl from the picture.” Mouse continued his thought.

“What?” You asked, confused.

“Mouse.” Jay jumped in giving him a hard stare that seemed to be some kind of warning.

“But it’s her isn’t it?” He defended pointing at you.

“Mouse. Drop it.” Jay scolded. Causing Mouse to put his hands up defensively nodding his head. You knew better than to push with Jay sitting there so you dropped it as well falling into conversation with those around you. Well until Jay went to get drinks and the rest of the team dispersed to mingle, leaving you alone with Greg.

“So, spill.” You rested your head on your hands smirking at Mouse once it was just the two of you.

“Yeah, in case you haven’t noticed Jay could probably break me in two.” Mouse raised an eyebrow at you.

“Maybe, but then I’d yell at him so it wouldn’t really be worth it.” You shrugged sighing loudly Mouse looked over his shoulder to see Adam and Jay still standing at the bar.

“Okay, he just..he had this picture the entire time we were in the army. Never left it alone, always had it in his pocket. You know like most guys do. Have pictures of their family and girlfriends. Anyway he was so attached to it one night we thought it’d be funny to take it and hide it when he was showering. No big deal right? He can just get someone to send him another. But he freaked. Said he couldn’t get another, tore his bed apart. I’m his best friend and anytime I asked he just avoided the conversation. We just figured you died or something.” He explained shrugging.

“Alive and in the flesh.” You joked just as Jay arrived with your drinks,

“What were you talking about?” He questioned looking between you two suspiciously.

“Football.” You both answered at the same time giving each other a surprised look. You were going to like this kid.

An hour or so later you had come out of the bathroom just in time to bump right into Will, who was coming back the hall. Laughing bitterly he shook his head turning to go right back where he came from,

“Wait no! Will just..” You begged, grabbing a hold of his arm which was tense underneath your fingers. He turned to face you, jaw tight, body stiff. “Listen I know you’re mad and you have every right to be. Hate me all you want, but don’t hate Jay, please. He’s your brother.” You pleaded.

“That’s exactly the issue, [Y/N]. He’s my brother and he had no problem stabbing me in the back.” He shot back, anger clear in his tone.

”You know as well as I do that every morning he wakes up it might be his last. He’s really not all that careful.” You admitted blinking down at the floor, voice shaky. Sighing loudly Will ran a hand through his hair,

“I’m still so pissed. At both of you, but Jay’s right I played a part in this too. I should’ve been upfront and honest with both of you and I wasn’t. I knew in the back of my head something like this was going to happen. I’m not stupid [Y/N]. I could clearly see you never felt about me the way you did about him, and you were never going to. It wasn’t fair of me to expect you to, and it wasn’t fair of me to put you in that position that day at the hospital. It was petty of me.” Nodding you reached for his hand,

“I’m really sorry.” You apologized looking at his now relaxed face.

“Me too,” He gave you a small smile.

“You want to grab a drink with us? I’ll buy.” You bit your lip making him laugh,

“Yeah I’m not quite ready for that yet, give me another couple months.” He winked at you, squeezing your hand before turning to walk away. Swallowing hard you closed your eyes to run a hand down your face before feeling strong arms encircle you,

“If you wanted a quickie in the bathroom you could’ve just come and got me.” Jay whispered into your ear making you jump.

“Where’d you come from?” You asked, turning to face him.

“Well I came to find you and saw you talking to Will. So, I kinda avoided that one. Trying to explain black eyes aren’t as fun as it may seem.” He chuckled, “How’d it go?” He asked looking down at you.

“Pretty well actually.” You admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“He still pissed?” Jay questioned

“Well yeah, but I think it’s gonna be okay.” You smiled up at him.

“How couldn’t it be when I have you in my arms?” He grinned tilting your chin up to place a soft kiss on your lips, “Ready to go?” Nodding you grabbed his hand letting him lead you out of the bar after saying goodbyes to his friends. Jay grabbing your hand over the center console as you headed to his place,

“So like Kim and Adam are totally boning right?” You started the conversation.

“What?” Jay looked at you confused.

“Are they not dating?” You questioned.

“They were engaged actually, but then they broke up.” He explained.

“So friends with benefits then?” You negotiated, they were definitely still sleeping with each other, there are few things better than your girl instinct and you very clearly saw the looks they shot each other all night.

“What? No, they’re broken up.” He reiterated.

“Honey, you may be one hell of a detective but you don’t always have the best intuition.” You joked as silence filled the car for a couple minutes before Jay broke it again,

“Oh my god, they’re totally still fucking.” Jay looked over at you wide eyed causing your laugh to fill the truck.

Crawling into bed with Jay that night you wrapped your body comfortably around his listening to his heart beat against your ear, and that’s when you decided to take the leap.

“Do you still have it?” You wondered.

“Have what?” Jay looked down at you skeptical look on his face.

“The picture.” You answered.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Jay sighed moving to grab his phone but you snatched it away from him giving him a look,

“Why didn’t you ever tell him about me?”

“I don’t know. It’s embarrassing.” He shrugged, and even in the dimly lit room you could see the pink tint on his cheeks.

“Loving me is embarrassing?” You replied.

“You know that’s not what I mean. It’s just..everyone carries around pictures of their wives and their kids and I just have one of my ex girlfriend. Then I’d have to be the one who admitted I broke up with you. Relive the biggest mistake of my life. Have to listen to all the guys make fun of me and call me an idiot, because I was. I don’t know it was just a conversation I didn’t want to have.” He confessed.

“Well..do you?” You asked again.

“Yes, of course I still have it.” He chuckled.

“Can I see it?” Beg coming out a little, huffing Jay unwrapped himself from your walking to his dresser to retrieve his wallet. Laying back down beside you he opened it pulling out numerous cards before the picture emerged behind them. Handing it to you.

“I completely forgot about this picture.” You admired it, torn edges, little tears along the side, color faded showing the wear it had been through.

“It’s always been my favorite.” He smiled lovingly.

“Why?”

“It’s not posed. It’s not fake. It’s just us and we look so happy. Like nothing in the world could ever stop us. Get in the way of us, but then...I let it.” Jay explained. You remembered the day it was taken very clearly. Seated on Jay’s lap in his backyard as he sang to you the song that was playing on their old radio, Jay’s mom sneaking up on you to capture the moment.

“Jay.” You sighed, grabbing a hold of his hand to entwine your fingers with his.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m sorry I pushed you away. I just was doing what I thought was best for you regardless of how much it might’ve hurt at the time, but then I never stopped. Every time I thought of you, it just...hurt the exact same as it did the day I left, and I swear god my life flashed before my eyes whenever I watched Will put his arm around you.” He shook his head, jealousy seeping into his voice.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was hoping if I faked it then it would somehow become real and I wouldn’t have to miss you anymore.” You admitted.

“I’m just glad you came back to me.” He said brushing a piece of hair beside your ear.

“Why do you still carry it around?” You wondered.

“Regardless if I’m over there or here it’s still the only thing that got me through.” He grinned leaving a gentle kiss on your lips.

“You know I could’ve been married. You could’ve been jacking off to a picture of some other guy's wife.” You teased.

“Haha, you’re so funny.” Jay said sarcastically, rolling his eyes before flipping you underneath him to cover your face and neck in kisses causing you to laugh loudly as the picture fell out of your hand onto the floor. He didn’t really need it anymore. He had the real thing in front of him again to help him through whatever he may face.

All Tag List:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @smclelli

Jay Taglist:

@justadreamxx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @queen-of-arda @toomuchtv95

[blackmissfrizzle]

Worth It- Pt 4

The Prelude- Part 1- Part 2- Part 3

Summary: The reader bumps into Marcel after their big argument

Characters: Marcel x black!reader, Sean (OMC) x black!reader

Warnings: Language but what’s new?

A/N: I’m back with our love Marcel! Finally!!!! I hope y’all enjoy.

“Man, you fucked up.” Vincent told a pissed off Marcel.

“Big time.” Haley emphasized.

Marcel looked from his glass of whiskey to glare at Vincent and Haley. They weren’t helping him feel any better. It’s been days since he saw or talk to you since the incident with Rebekah and your mom.

“Drowning our sorrows, are we?” Klaus came up from behind and clapped Marcel’s shoulder.

“The only sorrows that are drowning are Marcel’s. We’re just reminding him of how bad he messed up.” Haley said.

“What are you even doing here?” Marcel asked her.

“Waiting on some friends,” and on cue, Cami showed up and she left the three men.

“The little wolf is right, you know?”

Marcel eyed Klaus curiously. “So, you’re ok that my girlfriend almost killed your sister?”

Klaus shrugged his shoulders and took a seat. “She’s still your girlfriend? And dear Marcellus, Rebekah knew the risks. It was fitting for her to learn that lesson. Y/N is a precious gem. If I were you, I would’ve given her the world.” Klaus paused and then leaned towards Marcel. “Maybe I’ll have the chance now.”

Right when Marcel was about to throttle Klaus, you walked in. It had been days since Marcel seen you, heard you, or smell you; your presence was a sensory overload. Especially with the outfit you had on. He guessed Rousseau’s is your first stop for a night out, because you wore a black and tan corset crop top, black ripped shorts, and thigh high boots.

You were there with your sister and friends, and y’all met up with Cami and Haley. Once you got settled, Marcel got up and was about to walk to you, but Vincent stopped him. “Bad idea, Marcel.”

Marcel snatched his hand back. “That’s my girlfriend and I’m gonna talk to her.”

All talking ceased at your table when they saw Marcel approach you. His hand touch your exposed shoulder and you were pissed at how he affected you.

“Can I speak to you alone?”

Bianca ruined any chance of you answering. “Hell no! You think she gon talk to you after how you did our momma? Over my dead body!” Bianca was standing up and you had to push her down to her seat.

“Chill, B.” Turning back to Marcel, you said, “Yeah, we can talk for a bit.”

Marcel motioned you to walk in front him and he followed you to the back patio. “You look beautiful tonight.” Marcel said trying to fill up the awkward silence.

“What do you want, Marcel?” You didn’t have time to play nice with him nor did you want to.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve never stood up for Rebekah like that. I think I let my feelings about how your parents disapprove of us cloud my judgement, but that’s not an excuse.”

Two sides of your brain were fighting. The rational side said, “That’s reasonable. You even have beef with your parents, because of how they talked about Marcel.” The petty side was saying, “Nah, fuck that nigga and the bitch he let put hands on your momma.”

“Which side is winning?” Marcel joked, knowing you always had to fight your pettiness.

“I don’t know. It seems like Petty Y/N really wants to come out. She thinks she’s hearing a lot of apologies from you lately but seeing no action behind them.”

“Y/N, I-”

“Sorry to interrupt, but Y/N you better get inside because you-know-who is here.” Haley interrupted, her eyes pointing towards Sean.

Although, Rousseau’s was open to all supernatural beings, it was known to be Marcel’s spot for him and his vampires with only a few witches allowed to come, and Sean and his witches weren’t on that list.

“Stay here. I’ll get him to leave.” You had to put your hands against his firm chest to stop Marcel from going in and causing a scene.

Lust filled Sean’s eyes as you approached him. All you felt was his gaze roaming your body and you felt a tinge of guilt for the lust running through you.

Soon as you were in arm’s reach, Sean grabbed the back of your neck and descended his lips onto yours. His kiss was different from Marcel’s, but it was enjoyable, more possessive, rougher, and nastier. His hands snaked down your bottom and he gripped your ass. “You goin’ to stop playing games and let me eat that fat pussy?” He whispered into your ear.

“Damn, I think I’m wet,” Bianca mumbled off to the side, voicing your exact thoughts.

You felt a tug on your wrist, and it was Diego. He probably thought he was helping his friend, but that only was going to cause the scene you were trying to avoid.

One of Sean’s friends pushed Diego off you and then suddenly Marcel and Sean were in a face-off. This had to end before it got ugly. “Boys let’s not do this here,” you say, getting in between the two.

Neither one paid any attention to you, so you pulled Sean out while Haley, a true godsend distracted Marcel.

“What the hell was that, Sean?” You slapped him for starting all that drama.

He gripped your wrist and pointed a finger in your face. “I ain’t Marcel, so that’s the last time you’ll put your hands on me.”

You snatched your wrist back and paced back and forth the sidewalk. If you didn’t figure out something soon, those two niggas will kill each other.

“Damn, cher. I got a way for you to get rid of all that nervous energy,” Sean gripped your hips and pulled you back towards him.

Sean kissed the side of your neck and chanted a simple spell to help you calm down. The only thing is that you weren’t sure you wanted to calm down.

It took all of your energy to pull away from him, but you did. “Sean, you can’t be kissing me. Especially in front of Marcel and in his fucking hangout spot!”

Sean couldn’t understand why you were so stuck on Marcel. He definitely didn’t treat you right. Getting pissed off at your devotion to Marcel, Sean backed you into the wall and leaned dangerously close to your face to the point you could smell his minty gum. “Really? Ain’t you single now?”

Shit, he had you there. But you couldn’t answer the question. You and Marcel never verbally said it was over, you just walked out on him.

Chewing on your bottom lip, you contemplated your answer. You couldn’t come up with an answer, so dipped into Rousseau’s to ask a waiting Marcel a quick question.

“No,” was the only word Marcel said when he saw you.

“You don’t even know what I was about to ask.” You whispered yelled at him.

“You were gonna ask if you’re single and the answer is no. We’re just going through a rough patch.” Marcel stared you down, daring you to challenge him.

Turning on your heels you walked away from him angrily. Damn vampire hearing, you thought.

Patiently waiting for you, Sean scrolled through his phone. “Well?”

“It’s complicated.” You answered.

Sean rolled his eyes at you and asked, “What’s so complicated about ending a relationship with someone who makes you a second option?”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Sean? You’re just some random ass nigga that my parents think I should marry! Do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone!” You stomped away from him. Sean really pissed you off and if you were honest to yourself, which you didn’t want to be, Sean was telling you the truth. In the back of your mind, you were asking yourself the same question.

Catching up to you, Sean twisted your hips so you could face him. “Cher, you know I’m telling the truth. Lemme ask you something: can he give you you a family?”

Unbeknownst to you or Sean, Marcel slipped out the bar and was eavesdropping on your conversation. The talk about kids never came up, so Marcel never knew how you felt about becoming a parent.

“You know he can’t.”

“Do you want them? Because I can give you some.”

“So can a turkey baster.”

Sean chuckled to himself. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t want any.” Sean’s smile dropped at your admission. When he asked you that, he just knew you were gonna say yes. What woman doesn’t want kids? “So, besides your dick, what else do you have to offer?”

The switch up was almost immediate. “That vamp got you turned out like that? Pathetic. What if you change your mind?” Sean scoffed.

Another nigga who can’t handle rejection, what a shame, you thought. “What’s pathetic is you not being able to take no for answer. And if and that’s a big if, I change my mind. There’s this thing call adoption. Now do me a favor and run along before I melt your brain.” You smiled up at him, but it was anything but genuine.

Usually that did the trick and had men running along, but Sean stood there smiling to himself. The only other person who didn’t run in fear from you was Marcel. How did you end up being the source of attraction for two stubborn niggas?

“My bad. I let my anger get the best of me. Just know that I just don’t want you because our families want us together. I like you, Y/N. I like what you do for our community, I like that you’re not afraid to break the rules, I like that pretty ass smile of yours, and so much more. Before you make a decision, I want you to know that you’ll never doubt your place in my life. You’ll always be number one, cher.”

Sean tried to give you a kiss, but you turned your head and he kissed your temple. Knowing his presence was no longer wanted Sean walked away hoping you would make the smart decision.

Coming out from his hiding spot, Marcel got into your line of vision. The two of you just stared at each other for awhile without saying anything.

Marcel’s first step towards you made you speak up. “Me turning him down has nothing to do with us. Marcellus, I love you with all my heart, but you got some shit to fix. And until that’s done, I don’t know where we stand.”

Marcel said nothing. He just took it all in. Arguing with you would get him nowhere. So, he gave you a kiss and whispered, “I’ll be better.” Then he disappeared, leaving you alone, determined to get you back before Sean could carve a spot in your heart.

Tags: @twistedcharismaaa​ @l-auteuse​ @nightgirl250​ @cocooned-butterfly​ @thickemadame​ @artsninspo​ @titty-teetee​ @crystalgoddess00​ @pananegra​ @princessshanae14​ @rbhp @brownsugerhippy​

[albatris]

is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings

hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep

anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:

I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”

but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut

I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers

y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now 

but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid

Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline

during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet

it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her

which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:

and secondly there’s like

hm. ok

well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P

which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO

but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”

I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them

n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario

‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t

Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory

and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”

just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute

but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding

in terms of how they express their affections though??

so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do

as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is

anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right

Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour

anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick

these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao

but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around 

a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P

and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent

there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like

Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship

(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)

but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”

and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED

I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards

lmao

but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows

anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:

[starblazerm31]

Apprentice April Asks #1 Azalea/Imalia

Here are my answers to my Apprentice April Asks #1.  Thanks so very much to @leis-main-blog​ and @verysoftthings​ for sending me asks!  I honestly wasn’t expecting it.  ^^;  I tend to write books about these two, so I made a separate post.

1. The Basics.  What is your character's name?  How old are they?  How tall are they?  Skin color?  Eye color?  Hair color?  Gender identification?

Azalea Larinya Nevra.  30, female. 5'6"; medium skin tone; eyes blue with gold around the pupils; hair aqua to coral ombre; medium length

Imalia Vilyana Gabriev. 36, female. 5'10"; fair skin tone; eyes crimson; hair brown with burgundy ends; very long (art by @carowhitewolf​)

2.  Love Interest.  Who does your character love?  What attracted them to that particular LI?

Julian/Lucio (different universes).  

Julian - she loved how kind he was, and she adored his bumbling.  She was compelled to help him because his cause was right.  He couldn't be guilty, he was too much of a good man.  She really wanted to help him with his own inner demons as well because he didn't deserve to suffer, even at his own hand.  That glorious chest didn't help either, lol.

Lucio - she thought he was overall adorable.  Yeah, he was hot as hell, but it was his personality that got her heart thumping.  He really was brave and skilled, and she had a feeling that not many others had appreciated it much.  Yeah, he had done some horrendous things; but Azalea could see the actual changes happening in him and she knew that he had hope.

Asra.  She had known Asra since she was 15 and he was 8.  They had a good 20 year friendship and she knew him very well.  She fell for him when that friendship veil lifted after the events of The Arcana story and she finally really noticed how beautiful he was.  "He's smart, kind, talented, awesome...AND hot?!  THE WHOLE PACKAGE?!  I'm such an idiot..." 

3. Familiar.  Does your character have a familiar?  How did they meet?

Corva, a white raven.  She met Corva when Malak led her to an alley where Corva was lying on the ground with a broken wing.  Azalea nursed Corva back to health, and Corva refused to ever leave. (image c. Mike Yip)

Balthazaar, a phoenix.  Balthazaar was one of the phoenixes in the magical menagerie at the University of Prakra.  He was ornery, and the handlers had a hard time with him.  Imalia liked how stubborn he was and over time developed a rapport and closeness with him.  The university allowed her to claim him as her familiar and take him home. (image c. Kiss Clip Art)

4. Hobbies.  What kinds of things does your character like to do for fun?

Parquor.  She loves running around, slipping up buildings, jumping over rooftops and sliding down poles.  XD  She's a very high-energy person and parquor keeps her healthy and mentally sharp.  She also enjoys writing.  She will write on just about anything that has her attention at the moment.  Magical theory is one of her favorite subjects, but she does enjoy writing fiction.

Her hobby...is harassing bandits.  She gets perverse joy out of robbing robbers blind.  If she can find the original owners of things that were stolen...awesome.  If not...hey, this is an ancient Drakrian fertility statue!  I'm gonna put this on my shelf at home.  Oh, and leaving off-color messages in ancient languages in ruins.  "Here I sit all broken-hearted..."

5. Hidden talents.  Is there something neat that your character can do?  Tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue?  Say any word backwards perfectly?

Azalea is kinda like Sherlock Holmes.  She can look at a person and form their entire story in her mind.  She never uses it against someone; she just uses it to be more friendly.  But if you're annoying her and won't go away...she will scare you with what she has figured out about you.

Imalia secretly loves to sing and isn't terrible at it.  She's one of those people who will sing in the bath, and if someone mentions it, she acts like it didn't happen.

6. Magical talents.  Is there a specific type of magic that your character excels at?  Any magic they aren't so great at?  Or do they actually shy away from magic altogether?

Lightning.  She's good at conducting the currents and utilizing its explosive capabilities.  She also uses lightning as a personal shield while in battle.  She is also really good at enchanting things; like her hair.  She makes enchanted dreamcatchers that actually catch nightmares.  Both Julian and Lucio appreciate this ability.  (Lucio's dreamcatcher needs to be cleansed more often than Julian's)

Fire and Darkness.  Imalia is in tune with fire and is extremely good at using it to its fullest potential; absolute destruction.  As for the darkness...that will be explained in number 12.

7. Interaction.  How does your character typically interact with people?

She is very polite, but not overly so.  She tries to come off as someone you can actually have a conversation with.  Sometimes if she's feeling nervous, she will go into overly-polite mode, but if the vibe starts to feel calmer, she will loosen up.  She is very energetic and sometimes hyper with her friends.

She is ingratiating and very proper until you piss her off.  Then you get things like "Why don't you get a horse, move up to the mountains, and don't bother anybody?  You have the personality of a dead moth." (RIP Don Rickles)  With friends, she's very laid back and frank with what she says.

8. Romance.  What is something that your character and their LI love to do together?  How do they show affection?

Azalea x Julian - They LOVE to read together.  They have spent hours cuddled up together over a good book.  Azalea shows Julian affection with gentle touches, kisses, and koala hugs.  (she really loves how tall he is)  She also makes sure he eats and gets plenty of rest.  More than once, she has brought him dinner to his clinic while he was working late.

Azalea x Lucio - They love to spar.  They are so different in fighting style that sparring really helps them improve their skills.  Also, the prize at the end for the winner is quite nice.  ^_~  Azalea shows Lucio affection by listening to him and holding him.  She also likes to try to out kiss him.  He reaches for her hand, she spins away and plants two on his cheek instead.

Imalia and Asra love to travel the Magical Realms together.  They get into really long and in-depth conversations about the things they see and experiment with how their willpower affects the realm around them.  Imalia shows affection by constant words of praise and sneaky touches and kisses.  The more she can surprise him, the better.  She also keeps a hefty supply of Lapsang Souchong tea at her estate for him and loves giving him little trinkets and things she has found on her travels.

9. Travel.  Does your character like to travel outside of Vesuvia?  How often?  For how long?  What kinds of things do they do away from home?

Yes.  She loves to see more of the world and meet new people and see different cultures.  She will travel maybe once every year or two.  When traveling, she will typically stay away for 1-2 months.  She loves adventure, but she does love her home more.  Azalea loves to learn new types of magic or new methods of spellcasting from different cultures.  She finds that certain techniques make her own magic stronger.

Definitely.  She herself is originally from the northern hemisphere, so travel isn't something new to her.  She gets wanderlust sometimes and has to get out into the world.  She will be gone typically for six months when she decides to travel.  She has been gone for three years before.  She HAS to investigate old ruins wherever she goes.  Who knows that treasures or knowledge lay inside?  She must find out!

10. WTF.  Has anything just...weird ever happened to your character?  Something that made them stop and go "What just happened?!"

She was trying to brew a potion that would allow the drinker to become a mermaid for a short while.  She ended up spilling it on a plant before it was done.  The plant sprouted tiny muscular hairy legs and arms, stood up, walked to the window, shook its fist at her, and jumped out.  Turns out she had forgotten a key ingredient in the early stages of brewing the potion.  Mazelinka made fun of her for a solid week.

One time, she and a rival mage were about to have a battle.  Right before they were to begin, this strange fellow wearing a sentient red cape fell from the sky and landed in between them.  He promptly stood to his feet, apologized for the intrusion, and left.  (Yes...I do mean Doctor Strange fell from the sky)

11. Crime.  Has your character ever been arrested?  If so, what did they do?  Have they ever helped stop a crime?

She has never been arrested, however, she is guilty of petty larceny.  It's not something she does often...just when some jerk needs to be taught a lesson.  They always get their stuff back, but she will make sure they are thoroughly inconvenienced.  She has stopped another thief before.  The thief took the purse of an elderly individual who was trying to buy food.  Azalea scaled up to the rooftops and cut the thief off, holding him down until the guards caught up and arrested him.  She gave the money back to its owner.

Yep.  She's been arrested plenty of times.  Usually for assault and/or destruction of property.  Hey, that jerk deserved to have his carriage set on fire.  She has stopped several assassination attempts on her cousin, Queen Dreen Suval of Seiruun.  She has also stopped dark plots at the Magical University in Prakra.

12. Secrets.  What is a secret your character has?  Are they in line for the throne in a far off land?  Was there this one time at band camp...?  Are they secretly involved in an assassin's guild?

Azalea secretly writes smut.  She loves it.  And her actual hair color is gray.  The aqua-coral is an enchantment.

Imalia actually is in line for the throne of Seiruun; second in line, to be exact.  But she HATES this.  It's why she continues to live in Vesuvia rather than her home country.  Imalia is also no longer entirely human.  During an adventure that went terribly wrong, she summoned the Lord of Nightmares while inside the Magical Realms.  (The Lord of Nightmares or "Lon" is an eldritch goddess) Lon then proceeded to implant herself inside Imalia.  Lon is a being of pure darkness and nightmare, so Imalia has control over darkness when she taps into Lon's power. Through some creative wording, the contract between the two of them allows Imalia to use Lon's power and form when she needs to; however, Imalia is forever plagued by terrible nightmares that not even Azalea's dreamcatchers can stop.  The dreamcatchers just catch on fire.

13. Overcompensation.  Is there something that your character just HAS to do better than anyone else?  Or are they just that dang good without trying?  If they see someone else showing off, what is their kneejerk reaction?

She's actually quite humble.  If she sees someone showing off, she really just concerns herself with their safety.  "Please don't be careless and die, please!"  But she IS gifted.  Her magic is insanely strong, she just doesn't like to make a big deal out of it.  She gets embarrassed.

She is the best in the room, and you'd better damn well know it.  Unless she respects you.  Then she will tone it down.  But if she sees a showoff...she's got to mess with them.  She's got to show them that they aren't all that and a bag of chips.

14. Fight Club.  Is your character a good fighter?  What kind of skills do they have?

She's pretty decent.  Her attack magic is awesome, but her physical fighting mainly relies on how quick and squirmy she is.  Her punches hurt, but they don't incapacitate.

She can fight pretty damn well.  Her father made sure of it after most of her family was killed by assassins (it does sometimes really suck to be royalty).  She is a heavy hitter and her intent is to end a fight with one strike.  It doesn't always work, but hey...second, third, maybe fourth time is the charm.  Or maybe you should just blow it the hell up.

15. The Arts.  Is your character a creative type?  What kinds of things can they create?  Can they act?  Street perform?

She is.  Like mentioned earlier, she writes and makes dreamcatchers; she also gets into stage acting with Julian (when he's her LI).  She's not a solo performer though.  She has to be in a troupe or else she gets massive stage fright.

She can draw very well, almost photo-realistically.  She mainly uses this skill for documentation when she's studying something.  But every great once in a while she will draw a political cartoon making fun of some noble.  Once she drew a penis on the face of one of Lucio's statues.  He snapped back "I'd never put something that small in my mouth!"  She retorted by drawing a full body penis on a different statue.  It got misinterpreted by many townspeople as "Hey, look!  Lucio is a dick!!"

16. Goofy.  Is your character a clown?  Do they like to make people laugh?

She does.  She doesn't see herself as funny, but when she slips in something humorous into whatever she's talking about it usually takes whoever is listening by surprise.  Spit your drink kind of humor.

YES.  She has such a strange way of speaking sometimes that you can't help but snort at the things she says.  Yes, it is entirely on purpose.  She loves to crack jokes and has a self-deprecating sense of humor at times.  She will also be hilariously over-confident as well.

17. Language.  Is your character multilingual?  How many languages do they speak?  Do they have an accent?  Is it sexy?  Is it silly?  Do they have the multilingual lisp?

No.  She only speaks her native language.

Yes.  Imalia speaks ten different languages.  In her normal language, she doesn't have a multilingual lisp; but in about four of her other languages, she does.  It drives her nuts, but she just can't seem to fix it.

18. Embarrassment.  What is something really embarrassing that your character has done/said?

Azalea can't remember this, because it's part of the memories she lost.  But Imalia remembers.  One time she was going to meet one of the magisters of the Magical University of Prakra to see if she would be accepted.  She spent weeks preparing how to introduce herself.  On the day of, she mentioned how excited she was to meet Magister Asshole.  Imalia blinked and said, "It's pronounced Ah-shole."

One time she said something quite rude about Lucio in front of Azalea (when Lucio is Azalea's LI).  Azalea proceeded to tear her a new rectum, claiming that for someone so smart, she was incredibly closed-minded.

19. Memory.  Has your character gotten any of their memory back?  If so, what?  Did it change them?

No.  She insists that she doesn't want her memories back because she likes who she is now.  She gets the important information from Asra and Imalia...her parents’ and aunt's names, what they were like, and how they died.  That's all she feels that she needs. 

*looks at me*  "I'm exempt from this question.  I'm your OC, not your MC."  *walks out*

20. Family.  Talk about your character's family.  Who were they?

Her mother (Etoile) and father (Galen) were traveling merchants.  Her mother was the one with magical talent.  Her mother's sister (Sylvaine) owned the shop and taught Azalea most about magic.  When Azalea was 13, her parents were robbed and killed by bandits just outside of Vesuvia.  She lived with Sylvaine until she died of pneumonia when Azalea was 20.

Imalia's father was Vitalric Gabriev and her mother was Narsial Trevallan.  When Imalia was 14, her father's family (the Sairuun royal family) were murdered by assassins sent by a rival country.  Only Vitalric (and Narsial), Imalia, Vitalric's older brother Rhemun and his daughter Dreen survived.  Rhemun and Dreen remained in Seiruun to run the place while Vitalric and his family moved to Vesuvia as a failsafe in case there were other assassination attempts.  Vitalric started studying to become a doctor, while Narsial started grooming Imalia to wed into a noble family.  Narsial was extremely abusive.  Long story short, King Rhemun died of a hunting injury, and both of Imalia's parents died in the Red Plague.

[god-hunter]

Everything Has Changed

Remember when I said, “What the Fuck am I doing?”  Remember how I said that was a rant for another day??

Well so much went down between weekends that now it’s just “What the Fuck happened?”

After 5 Years of dating, my girlfriend and I broke up!

4 days before her birthday too...  Ouch.

This was a long time and coming.  It was a conversation that really needed to happen.  And neither of us expected it to go down the way it did.  But we were both really unhappy.  And neither of us really understood why.

But the more we talked and agreed about what isn’t working...  The more we both agreed that this doesn’t make sense anymore.  And then we just started to realize what was happening.  What made the most logical sense...

I gotta get the fuck outta here.

So maybe, I should back up.  To the outsider, everything will be out of context.  But I’ll try to give solid highlights of the relationship, to show all the red flags that we ignored.

* During our flirt-ship, non-dating phase she told me that she was Bi while we had drinks.  Immediately I thought, “Oh man... I’ve done this before.  That’s gonna suck.”  I must’ve said something like that in a funny way, because she reassured me not to worry.  She’s a boring one.  She just likes seeing naked women.

* Right before our 1st date, I unknowingly trolled this girl on Facebook for being bitchy to our mutual friend.  I didn’t know it was her!  I forgot the topic, but her and I completely disagreed.  And with the identity completely out of my mind, my unfiltered response pissed her off.  So it was on our 1st date that we even had a talk about our differences regarding the topic, whatever that was. I recall being very surprised that it was her.  I had no idea.  But we both explained ourselves and took it as an opportunity to tell our personal stories, which made us meet in the middle.

* On the 2nd date, we made out and it was go time.  It was going to happen.  I didn’t bring condoms because I had no idea where it was gonna go yet.  She had some, and it was very clear.  Tonight I was gonna fuck a fat chick. [This isn’t about that.]. I recall being very tentative and not being sure if I wanted it to happen at all.  But she was so into me and everything I was doing, and bit by bit it felt really good.  And right.

* Our 3rd date was at a Wedding, honestly the day after our 2nd date.  Everything just worked out at the last minute and I was able to change my Plus1.  [The original Plus1 cancelled on me and was very upset that she couldn’t make it.  But it all worked out.].  Outside of all the fun dancing and introducing her to all of my friends, we talked about stuff we want in life.  She said she doesn’t want kids, and I knew that I did.  I wanted a son.  But I didn’t want to fight about it or blow up a good thing.  We were both like, “Alright.  We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

* After it became official we went on a random date where we weren’t sure what was on the radio at a pizza place.  And we were starting to borderline argue whether it was a cover or not.  To the point where I said, “Relax, it’s okay.” And that threw her off.  I had said a trigger word.  She always hated that word as a Hardcore Feminist.

*  At another date, we got into the whole “Relax” argument again and how I need to curb that word out of my vocabulary and say something different.  Or just... not feel like I have to tell her to calm down when she’s acting all irate over seemingly nothing.  But meanwhile, anytime I got too anxious about traffic or upset about things, she could always tell me to calm down, right?  I remember telling her right then that this isn’t gonna work if I can’t be myself.

* Broader strokes now.  There was an incident at Ikea over getting a piece of furniture for my room that she wanted to change, because she was visiting all the time and she just wanted to make it nicer.  Put her touch on things, I guess. Well, I didn’t really want to by this shelf/cubby thing, but I looked at it anyway, and in the end when I didn’t want to buy it she got really upset with me, and even walked away.  This in turn, spiked my anger up and the two of us fed off of each other’s negativity.  She was being stubborn and not listening to me or dropping it.  Instead I flew off the handle and caused a scene.  I knocked her dinner plate over for being a bitch and just left.  This was awful, and I thought we were gonna break up right then.  That night we had a plan to go to a Comedy Show, and somehow it still happened.  The plan changed to “Meet me at the show, then we’re gonna have a talk at my house.”

*  The talk was about my anger and how it’s unhealthy.  How I need to change because that is never happening again.  I’ll admit. Yes, in this instance it was really bad.  But also, she crossed a boundary and upset me about borderline forcing me into something I wasn’t comfortable with.  I stood up for myself.  Then I just fed off of her bitchiness and it was no good.  ...Outside of that incident, the new thing was just, “Let’s do Meditation.  That’s what we need to do.  All the time.”  And I hated it.  I don’t believe in it.  Sure, it can be relaxing after a hard day.  But the whole zen closing your eyes and emptying your mind thing, just isn’t for me.  I’d rather talk and walk it out than sit and focus on letting go.  Yes, it has it’s place.  But Meditation time, just felt like a waste of time to me.

*  Then I noticed her anger.  Whenever I would go over to her place, she really hated her living space.  We used to love watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. together, but during a particularly bad season, she would just yell at the TV or be unpleasant in my space, when I was setting out time for her.  We almost got into fights about it, but not really.  Not to mention there was a whole issue of dealing with her cat pissing all over her furniture, and even the new couch I bought for her...

* On our 1 year Anniversary, we made out so hard during sex, that I kissed her in a way that she didn’t like.  With too much tongue.  Meanwhile, that’s my favorite kind of kissing.  I used to kiss like that all the time in previous relationships and my partners have loved it.  This time, however though, she turned it into a joke and went, “bluah bluah bluah” with her tongue out and tried to laugh at me.  Immediately I was turned off and we weren’t doing this that night.  We made up the next day, but since Year 1, I knew that I couldn’t kiss this Woman the way I truly wanted to.  That was a big red flag, but Iwas  still willing to make this work. 

* Somewhere into the 2 years was when we definitely experienced the pitfalls with the anger issues stirring up between both of us.  But this also brought forth the idea of her needing to get the fuck out of her house.  When I wasn’t ready.  Eventually I felt more ready, but I remember her asking me stuff about this at like, 3 months and then 6 months.  So...  Yeah.  We were either at the 1 or 2 year point where we were both finally Looking.  Still, the arguments would pervade over where.  I didn’t want to move too far South, and she didn’t want to move too far into North.

*  Around this time, my Sleep Apnea was also too much for her to bear, and she insisted/downright demanded I get a sleep study to figure my shit out.  Because I wasn’t breathing for like 30 seconds in my sleep.  And I was definitely falling asleep at work all the time.  Forever attached to a C-Pap Machine in bed now, I definitely felt the spontaneity of the romance dwindle.

* Also... side-note.  Sex became very clinical with her.  She used to get so wet just at the thought of me, or from a simple touch.  In the beginning, I used to be able to wake her up, and she’d be interested in getting a quickie in before I leave or go to work.  Eventually, she didn’t want to be woken up for sex, but rather for it to happen after she woke up.  That’s fine...  But also, she got on birth control, just to make it easier for both of us, but whatever she was taking dried her the fuck out.  So now it was all about using lotion, which.. no matter what I did, wasn’t really hot.  I could go further and further, but there were so many times where I did something and she’d be like, “Ouch! Gentle..  What are you doing??”  And it was just... not great.

*At 3 years, we moved in to a place that would take us.  That happened to be really far from a job that used to be 5 minutes from me.  Now it was a 50 minute commute!  Adjusting to live together was a strong contributing factor.  SO many new arguments arose in our shared living space.

*  I stepped it up and learned how to wash a dish/take out the trash on the regular.  But the frequency of it all still wasn’t to her liking.  Regardless, she was the better cook, so she took care of dinner more often at first.  I cooked too, so we definitely took turns.  But I’d say that at first, she cooked about 3 times a week and I cooked 2.  By the end of the relationship, she wasn't cooking...

*  It took a very long time for me to notice this, but eventually I discovered that she doesn’t shave her legs.  Or her armpits...  That’s very personal, but frankly... it grosses me out.  I found this out at the WORST possible time, right before we were going to my best friend’s Engagement Party.  STILL I worked it out and was willing to let it go, because we ain’t come this far.  I’m not shallow and petty.  I love this Woman.  But I begged for a Compromise.

*  That compromise came once, in the form of me trimming her underarms one night.  And she hated it.  It tickled, the process felt weird... and she just wanted to do that herself on her own time from now on.  Well, that never happened.

*  It’s almost needless to say that our sex life dwindled to once a month.  And then barely that.  I knew something was wrong.

*  I definitely did me, more.  I’d be on the computer, taking care of my needs, hobby wise or horny wise.  (Thank you Tumblr). But we’d also have separate hang outs with our own friends.  And separate vacations even.

Which basically brings us to where we were at year 4 and 5.

She stopped wanting to go Grocery Shopping with me.  We’d go separately.  I hated that.  We could never agree on a day.

We weren’t really going on any dates, but I put in some extra effort recently.  Doesn’t matter.  She just doesn’t like spending time with me, it feels.  She takes it for granted.  Instead it’s all complaints about how tired she is.  Or how much her feet hurt.  Or how hungry she is.  Great... conversation man.

And I got to the point where I was like, “I don’t want this for the rest of my life.” And frankly, she was really short with me.  The moment I didn’t hear her, or understand something she said immediately, she’d get louder and be like, “I SAID THIS!!”  Or I’d say something that she didn’t get, and she’d immediately spike up and be like, “WHAT?”

I felt like this became a relationship without respect.

And the craziest part is that when we brought this up to each other on Monday, she agreed and said the same thing.  She felt that neither of us respected each other.

All of the above was mentioned, but I just need to put out 2 more things that cement the deal.

When I told her, “Why do you think I haven’t asked you to marry me yet?  It’s because I’m not sure I wanna live like this for the rest of my life.”  She responded with, “I was so afraid that this was gonna be the year that you propose to me and I say no to you.”

The last part that sealed the deal was that we both realized we were truly just friends.  We’ve been living together, on the rocks for so long, that we don’t want to do anything together physically.  We’ve been avoiding all the fights, and just trying to have fun with the stuff that we do like.  We’ve just been watching our shows, and chilling with beers, food and in her case, weed.  This absolutely turned into a plain old Friendship.

And once that was out in the air, I actually felt better.

The only thing that sucks now is figuring out what comes next.

There’s no question about it, I have to leave.  I can’t afford this place by myself, and neither can she, but she can do better on her own than I could before getting a new roommate.  She has more stake in this place.  She always had.  She’s got the cats..  She has the run of this place anyway.  This was always for her.

She’s always been on me about getting a better job.  That's something I still want to do for myself, but now I have to do better, if I want to fully be able to support myself independently at my own place.

So I’ve been doing 2 things - Applying to better jobs and looking at new places.

At first, it was really hard, man.  But now I’m getting more excited about the change.  It comes and goes in waves.  But I can’t live here forever, especially not with her.

But here’s the best part.  As we Are still friends, she’s not kicking me out.  She’s letting me take my time to comfortably find a new place to live.  She’s even helping me look for stuff.  Financially we had a lot of things put together to get into this place, and likewise, she’s going to give me my half of everything when finally leaving this place.  I’m getting half the security deposit back, my half of the joint account, then we’ll close it.  She’s paying for my half of the bed...

She’s being really good about all of this.  We’re business partners in this.

The love is still there, but it’s purely platonic at this point.

A final quote about the relationship is that she said, “I think we both expected each other to be different partners for one-another that neither could provide.”

Something along those lines.  And it’s so true.

I want someone to go to shows with me.  My Music!  I want a Metal Girl.  And a Gamer girl.  Not just a girl that’s gonna be on her phone all the time and ignore you during TV time.

TV Shows have their place, but my next girl needs to have a fucking hobby that she’s passionate about, dude.

My Ex had crocheting, but she stopped doing it, once it became a job.  She used to do commissions for friends, and it stopped being fun.  Now she only does it when she’s making a gift for someone.  Which is nice, but...  outside of that, her only source of entertainment is the TV or her phone...

I dunno.  None of that matters any more.  I need to create a New Normal this year and there’ll probably be more rants about the process of doing that.

But in the mean time, I have one last little bit, which has also changed the entire playing field at work.

Remember how I was all down about Dancing Girl?

Well, none of that matters any more.  She’s still gorgeous and way too young for me, but I noticed a significant change in her behavior since last Friday.  Exactly what I was fearing.

She definitely hung around the other work friends more during break.  On Tuesday when I shared the insane news about the break up, she like.. walked away and gave me zero eye contact.  Instead she focussed on herself, taking selfies from her phone.  Fucking Gen-Z...

Wednesday I didn’t show up to work.  That’s it’s own story, but it doesn’t matter.

On Thursday when I was back, she talked to me a little bit and was wondering if there was still a chance that we could reconcile, and I was like, “No man.  Her and I are done!  We’re too different and there’s no going back, now.”

At first, during the week I was down because there was absolute silence on the phone.  I didn’t bother texting her, she didn’t bother texting me.  In the group chat, only one dude was texting me and on the day I didn’t come in, he was like, “Good to hear from you Dude.”  I got emo and said, “Yeah, you’re the only one!”  That was really dumb of me.

The reason why I didn’t go into work on Wednesday was because the night before I told 2 close friends about what happened.  And they kept me up until 4 in the morning talking about everything!!!!  I didn’t care.  Nothing mattered now. But I had to call out and catch up on my sleep.

The rest of my day off was looking for jobs and places.  Until 2 other co-workers reached out and saw me that night for drinks and apps.  That was really awesome of them, and I really appreciated that.

Then on Thursday, I swear I heard Dancing Girl talk to someone else about how someone was hitting her up and saying stuff like, “I think about you all the time...” bla bla bla.  I didn’t eavesdrop.  But it made me wonder.  Was this Muscle Dude from the other night??

On Friday, Valentines Day she was pissed during 2nd break.  It was just the 2 of us for a moment, and she actually confided in me.  She told me how pissed she was at her boyfriend for not wanting to go out on V-Day.

I was her ear and happy to provide any feedback or advice.  But then when the others came, she immediately gravitated to them and side-vented to them.  That was fine, I guess, but still, I felt a barrier.

Today, I broke that barrier.  I gave up on No Contact, and just hit her up on FB, because it doesn’t matter any more.  I hit a lot of people up on FB and informed more about the news.  As I’m slowly coming to terms with my reality.

But yeah, I asked about her night.  She asked about mine.  We talked a short bit about the awkwardness of this transition, but then I asked her ‘the question of the hour’.

Tell me about your other man.  What’s going on with that?

This, was the Friend move.  Maybe she picked up on it, maybe she didn’t.  But I think she definitely appreciated it, because she opened up to me.  It felt like the way we were talking before 2/7.

I ended up finding out that she’s been talking to this guy for like a month, and she’ll just see where it goes.

So now I knew it wasn’t Muscle Dude from the club.  And that made me feel immediately better.

I also know that any nice interactions we had since December don’t really matter, because this dude quickly came into her life and built up whatever chemistry that they have.

So maybe it was all in my head.  And frankly, that’s a relief.  I was already coming to terms with the idea that she doesn’t think of me that way.  But now, I think I can fully accept the fact that I am her older friend that she feels comfortable with.  Someone she can confide in.

And like I said in the other rant, that’s probably exactly what needed to happen.

So now the issues seem resolved with Dancing Girl, and my worries about My Girl are dissolved, because well... she’s not My Girl anymore!

I am NOT looking forward to getting back into the dating scene, but ya know what?  Right now I don’t even have time for that.  This year is about focussing on me, now.

New Developments are happening in 2020, way quicker and more abrupt than I’d anticipated.  But it’s time to move on.  For like, 3 years I’ve been struggling to be Happy.  Even in the first 2 years of this relationship, it’s debatable about how “Happy” we were, when we were in the Honey Moon phase.

So let’s do this 2020!  Let’s see what we get??

If you made it this far, I am ever-grateful for your time and company.

I hope you enjoyed this edition of the GodHunter rants.

[iknownothingihearnothing]

Game of Thrones 8.1 “Winterfell”

OMG.

ZOMGGGGGGGG.

Them dang ol’ dang ol’ Thrones are BACK!

It’s been twenty looooooooooooong months of GoTlessess. Winter came. And left. And damn came again. And now winter has come for our heroes in the glory of springtime. 

Can’t you just hear the little birdies chirping? The bees buzzing? The white walkers moaning as they shamble beyond the wrecked Wall in their endless quest for dominance and human flesh? 

You’d be forgiven if you don’t entirely remember what happened last season. Jon bent the knee to Dany after he and some of his Merry Men--the Amazing Tormund Giantsbane included--ventured Beyond the Wall to capture a wight in order to prove to Cersei that, yes, the undead were indeed real and not a conspiracy cooked up by Ser Alyx of House Jones in order to get her to let her guard down just enough for Dany and Co. to steal her crown and she sailed in on Drogon like a badass and rescued them. No damsel in distress here. So Jon lost his King in the North status but he gained a lady friend, and by “friend”, I mean--

After seeing the wight for herself, Cersei promised to send the Lannister army up North to fight for the living. But, you know...

Gratefully, our handsome Kingslayer, however, has some scruples. Finally having had enough with Cersei’s crazy bullshit, he tells her he swore to fight for the living and that is what he is going to do, damnit, and takes himself North-way, leaving his sisterlover and their maybe bun in the oven behind in the capital. 

The biggest reveal, of course, was the confirmation of the long running theory of R+L=J. AKA, Rhaegar Targaryen went off and married Lyanna Stark in secret, she got preggies with Jon/Aegon and, dying in the Tower of Joy, Lyanna made a young Ned Stark promise he’d always take care of her son. So he lied to everyone, that he was his bastard kid to protect him from the “all Targaryens must DIE” Baratheon rule (that non-Aryan head of hair helped, I’m sure) and raised him in Winterfell as a Stark but not a Stark. 

Now Jon Snow, who started the series knowing nothing, will soon know all. 

Including that he’s technically been fucking his aunt but what’s a little incest between friends on Game of Thrones? 

Oh and also Viserion was taken out and the Night King revived him to knock down the wall. We have an undead dragon, people!

Let’s get into it, shall we?

We gots a new opening, which is cool. The now defunct Wall looks like it is entirely made of ice cube trays.

We start in on a little boy who is trying to see all the hubbub but can’t glimpse over the adults, harking back to the pilot when the Baratheon-Lannisters visited the North to offer their thanks for helping overthrow the Mad King and to hook up Sansa and the Joff. Said “hubbub” being Dany, Jon, and their army entering the North. Arya’s also there, wearing a far less fabulous outfit than Dany is, frowning at the Hound’s appearance but relieved at Gendry’s. 

He has traded a small boat for a horse.

If you were taking bets on how soon Tyrion would make a junk joke, I hope you had down “within the first few minutes”:

Varys rightfully calls him out on his hypocrisy; he hates imp jokes but loves eunuch jokes. How can he be cool with that? 

Obvs, because Tyrion has balls and Varys doesn’t, duh.

#Woke, Tyrion is not.

 As the procession moves throughout the town, people are glarin’ and starin’ and Dany is obviously uncomfortable, poor lamb. Jon tells her that Northerners don’t “accept outsiders easily”. So, to use an analogy, Jon is the one guy from his small town in Pigeon Butt, Arkansas, who is welcoming to everyone when the rest of the residents are all “You ain’t from ‘round here, are ya?” *changes magazine in rifle*

I’d be annoyed if I were Dany. I mean, lugging my ass all the way up to the damn frigid North, freezing my tits off, with a fucking army and two dragons, all to save everyone’s asses, and they’re copping a ‘tude? Pfft. Y’all can kiss my Southern butt.

One of the dragons roars and Dany smiles because at least that is familiar to her, but of course the townspeople scatter while Arya stands there grinning in delight. Dragons! Cool!

The Lady of Winterfell, however...

The look to the camera she gives is like “Oh ffs.”

Jon rides into the Winterfell courtyard and when he sees Bran for the first time since he was a boy he, delighted, hops down from his horse to hug and kiss him. “Look at you! You’re a man!” And when the robot that used to be Bran replies “Almost” like the automaton he is, Jon’s face gets, well...

And, I must add, how WEIRD it is to me that, amid all these Qyburns and Sansas and Davoses, BRANDON is a popular name in Westeros/Ye Old Timey serfdom alterna-England. To me, Brandon is THIS guy:

Brandon is Jason Priestley and a delightfully 90s name, not to mention the moniker of way too many boys I went to school with. I keep expecting to see Nat round one of the corners of Winterfell with a megaburger. 

Jon hugs Sansa and asks after Arya, who is “lurking somewhere”, and hesitantly introduces his girlfriend to his sister. It’s the nightmare Meet the Parents except the parents are dead, everyone’s about to die, and it’s fucking cold as balls. 

Dany, the poor lass, tries to ingratiate herself by complimenting Winterfell’s “beauty” (eh?) as well as Sansa’s (yes, Sophie Turner is a fox and Joe Jonas would agree) but Sansa’s having none of it:

BranBot breaks in on the Mean Girling, telling Dany that the Night King has Viserion and the Wall has been de-Walled. At the Great Hall, Young Umber says that they need more men and horses “if it pleases my Lady. And my Lord....and my Queen. Sorry.” 

The Queen thing is, uh, gonna take some getting used to. 

Sansa tells Young Umber to collect his people and Jon is called “Your Grace” after giving an order and little Lyanna Mormont, that badass, rises slowly like a boss.

She continues like “Yo, we crowned you King in the North, you gave it up, wtf are you now? Just a regular old lord, I guess?”

And Jon busts out this truth--although he was honored to be crowned, the choice was either keep his title or save the North. He chose the North. I gotta side with Jon on this one, sorry, Lyanna. I love you, but y’all Northerners are being stubborn dumbasses. Crowns and titles reallllllllly don’t mean much in the wake of DYING HORRIBLY BY LEGIONS OF UNDEAD. 

Tyrion tries to calm the storm between the Northerners and the visitors, telling them that Jon risked his life to prove he wights were a threat; the Lannister army was soon going to join them in fighting for the Not Dead cause. There are grumbles amongst the peanut gallery and Tyrion concedes that they “have not been friends in the past”--

--but they all had to work together now. Sansa, still holding onto stubborn Northern pride, wonders aloud how the hell how they are gonna feed Dothraki, Unsullied, and two dragons? “What do dragons eat anyway?”

Dany: “Whatever they want.”

Booya!

Obviously, I would bend the knee to Daenerys. I likely fall over though. Hope she doesn’t mind.

Tyrion goes to speak to Sansa, whom he has not seen since season four, Joffrey’s non-wedding to Margaery, to be precise. You remember that.

Yes, Sansa, it indeed had its moments. Unfortunately, with Joffrey gone, we got Ramsay in his place so....

Sansa apologizes belatedly for bolting right after the Joff’s murder, which, admittedly, was a wee bit hard for Tyrion to explain, her being his wife and all. He kinda had to go to trial. Hire Oberyn to fight the Mountain for him. Again, we all know how that turned out.

Squishy squishy!

Sansa also can’t believe Tyrion truly is convinced the Lannister army is on its way to the North based on Cersei’s word alone. “I used to think you were the cleverest man alive,” she lays down before walking away.

Sansa has turned into Shade-sa. 

Now it’s time for a Jon and Arya reunion! Yay!

Jon: How’d you sneak up on me?

Arya: How’d you survive a knife through the heart?

Jon: I didn’t.

So Jon and Arya show each other their swords and Jon asks her if she has ever used hers and we the audience watching are like--

And then they talk about Daenerys. Jon is a wee bit pissed that Sansa is unappreciative of him risking his and his Merry Men’s asses to save the whole frigging kingdom, understandably so, and, fucking weak, Arya defends “her family”. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE HELLO DON’T YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR PETTY “I DON’T LIKE MY BROTHER’S GF, SHE’S NOT FROM HERE, SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND US!” NONSENSE! THE DEAD ARE COMING, DAMNIT!

In K.L., Creepy Qyburn rushes to tell Crazy Cersei that the wights have broken through the Wall. Her response?

If there is one thing on this mixed up continent we can count on it’s that Cersei will do the most fucked up shit to keep that crown on her blonde head. Including letting ice zombies lose on at least one of her kingdoms.

Just off the coast of the capital, Yara is still being held prisoner of her Uncle Euron, AKA Guyliner Greyjoy. What is it with pirates and guyliner and leather pants? Euron, Captain Hook, Jack Sparrow...While poor Yara, the rightful Queen of the Iron Islands, is tied up, Euron introduces Crazy Cersei to the captain of the Golden Company, who promises all these men and horses and weapons and things. ‘Cept no elephants, much to Cersei’s dismay. They’re not good for long sea voyages. 

Euron wants to talk “in private”. 

Which in Westerosi-speak is:

Cersei tries to put him off; she told him after the war. “Wars can last years,” Euron counters. He’s given her weapons, the Iron Fleet, the Golden Company (whose captain is named Harry Strickland, that is so out of leftfield in a world of Eddards and Tywins), what else does he need to prove that he’s totally Team Cersei?

Well, Cersei doesn’t wanna lose the only ally she has left in this war she still sees herself fighting so...

Euron:

Elsewhere in the capital, Bronn is trying to get his offtime on with three ladies who cannot stop talking about how frigging cool and scary the dragons they saw attacking K.L. were and Bronn is obviously only an afterthought. A watercooler, if you will. When Creepy Qyburn interrupts and lets Bronn know that Cersei is looking for him.

The gist is Qyburn has been sent to hire Bronn on Cersei’s behalf to execute Tyrion and Jaime in case they don’t survive their “Northern adventures”. And she wants him to use a crossbow to do it because she has a keen sense of poetic irony. 

Bronn:

Bronn might be my favorite.

In Cersei’s chambers, Euron is getting dressed (because he just got Queened, you see; this show can never be accused of being subtle) and immediately asks her how he “compares to the fat king”. Cersei tells Euron that Robert had a different ladyfriend every night but still had no idea how to please a woman. Sad for Robert.

 Then he asks about “the Kingslayer” and Cersei wonders if he wants to lose his head. But he’s arrogant and she likes that (and he apparently doesn’t mind that she had a torrid affair with her twin brother; they’re either perfectly matched or perfectly psychotic). Just before Euron leaves, he says:

 Prooooooooobably not aware that Cersei’s belly just may be currently occupied at the moment.

Cersei smiles holding aloft her ever present goblet of wine as Euron leaves. IDK if she is simply humoring an ally or if she actually finds Euron grossly charming. I mean, he’s hot and all but he’s also a pig but hey I’m sane so what do I know.

On Euron’s ship, Theon and his buddies launch an attack against the assholes who have captured Yara. Theon unties her and she headbutts him for abandoning her like a sister would (”You left me, your Queen, to our bastard of an uncle! You dipshit!”), then extends a hand to help him off the floor and they say no more about it. 

Yara suggests they go back to the Iron Islands; they’ll all need a place to go if Dany and Co. fail in the North, a place where the dead can’t follow. But Theon obviously wants to go to Winterfell and fight for the Starks, to make up for betraying them and being an absolute fucklord, so Yara commands it. “What is dead may never die, but kill the bastards anyway.”

In the North, Dany is worried about Drogon’s and Rhaegal’s lack of appetites. They “only” ate eighteen goats and eleven sheep. IDK, that sounds like a lot to me but again, what do I know? I’ve never owned a dragon. I should ask the Munsters. 

Dany and Jon go visit the dragons, who are restless cus they don’t be likin’ the North. And why would they? They’ve been all over and in much warmer climes and now they’re stuck in some frozen over craphole where no one washes their hair and wears the same clothes for two weeks straight. 

Dany wants to fly them to give them some exercise and urges Jon to get on top of Rhaegal while she flies her trusty Drogon. Jon is, obvs, hesitant. He’s never ridden a dragon, he doesn’t know how. Well, no one does until they’ve ridden a dragon! So, Jon climbs on top of Rhaegal, braces himself, and off they go.

And it’s hilarious.

And Dany’s totally into it. Jon’s holding onto Rhaegal, screaming like a girl and Dany’s like “Oh YEAUH I’m all about this”. When they touch down at a really pretty spot in front of a waterfall to get bizzay, she’s looking like she’s falling deeper in love with him and the dragons are looking like, well, like they are watching their mom get bizzay. 

Kinky. You don’t see Dragon Mom-Dragon Cuckold-Ex King of the North videos on PornHub. That’s a niche they should tap into.

This scene was totally unnecessary for the plot and probably cost a lot of money to render and was hysterical. Who knew dragons had kinks? I mean, I guess they are entering their hormone-fueled adolescence and missing internet and Playboy outlets so...this is the next best thing?

Sorry about that, boys. 

Arya and the Hound run into each other for the first time since season three, where she left him to die but first robbed him. “You’re a cold little bitch, aren’t you? Guess that’s why you’re still alive.” 

She also runs into Gendry and asks him to make her a weapon, to which he hesitantly complies.

Inside Winterfell, Sansa receives a letter from House Glover letting them know that they wish the North luck but House Glover will remain in the woods. It’s a classic piss off. Even though House Glover promised to always stand by House Stark. No, Sansa denies. He’d stand behind the King in the North. They’re gearing up for another argument. Jon counters that they needed allies. He brought home armies and dragons! 

UGH!

Sansa, I love you, but Lort Almighty!

Yeah ok, the Mad King was, well, mad, but A) Dany is not her father and B) ICE ZOMBIES WITH AN ICE DRAGON ARE COMING! SOON! THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY RIGHT NOW! ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE BEING HARD-HEADED IDIOTS!

Dany and Jorah go to visit Sam to thank him for curing Jorah of his Greyscale. Dany asks Sam if there is anything she can do for him to repay him. Sam asks for a pardon for taking some books from the Citadel and a sword from House Tarly; it’s been in his family for generations. And that is when things get--

Daenerys explains that she offered to let Randyll Tarly keep his lands and titles if he bent the knee, but he refused, and we all know what happened to him. 

At the info that his daddy is toast, Sam seems to take in stride because Randyll was a dick but when Dany adds that Dickon stood by his father and was also roasted Sam excuses himself.

How good was John Bradley in this scene? He conveyed so much emotion in a single facial expression, just a shift of the eyes, a downturn of the lips. You could totally tell he was barely holding it together.

Sam goes outside and spots BranBot, who urges him to tell Jon the truth with his emotionless visage. After all, he’s not his brother.

He finds Jon in the crypt and they hug it out until Jon notices the look on Sam’s face. He thinks something’s wrong with Gilly or Little Sam until Sam confesses that Dany had Randyll and Dickon executed. Sam asks him if he would have done this if he’d been in her place. Jon argues that he’d executed men who had disobeyed him in the past, but he’d also pardoned men who refused to kneel. Jon parries he wasn’t a king like Dany is a queen. 

Sam claims he is. And he doesn’t mean King of the North.

He and Bran worked it out. Sam had a High Septon’s diary. Bran had...BranVision. Jon’s father was, of course, Rhaegar Targaryen and his mother was Lyanna Stark. 

He’s Aegon Targaryen, Sixth of his Name, Protector of the Realm, yada, yada, yada.

Jon’s like “You better not be bullshitting me, man!” And Sam’s all “Would Dany bend the knee and give up her crown to save her people like you did, bro?”

Jon:

On the grounds of Winterfell, the hunting party, consisting of Tormund Giantsbane, Dolorous Edd, and five times resurrected Beric Dondarrion (be careful, Beric, Melisandre isn’t around to resurrect you again), is, uh, hunting when half the party jumps out screaming “Stay back! He’s got blue eyes!”

Brienne needs to get on that. They’d make adorable, and huge, blue-eyed babies.

Eventually, they find poor Young Umber, the first casualty of this season, nailed to a door with his innards and body parts creating a spiral pattern around him. He awakens zombified and the party lights him on fire, causing the whole spiral of gore to become alight in flames.

Ugh.

Everyone has a fucking sigil on this show. Even he dead guys.

The episode ends with Jaime finally riding into the North, climbing down off his noble steed to fulfill his promise to fight for the living, and...

Your past sins have caught up with you, Jaime. 

[ecccentrick]

Pigments (Plance)

My entry for the @langstronevent2k18! My gift is for @nooowestayandgetcaught, who wanted Plance! I really hope you enjoy!

AO3

Lance cuts her hair before the battle, the soft snipping sounds echoing around the otherwise silent room. Pidge bites her lip, fingers itching to be typing, to be doing something to distract her.

“About what you said-”

“Let’s forget about that!” Lance says, interrupting, laugh cracking mid-swell. He once again focuses on his duty, finally cutting the dead ends he’s been moaning and groaning about in quick, straight lines. Pidge wants to say she’s surprised by how steady his hand is, but he is the team sharpshooter.

“It’s not that I don’t fee-”

“All done! You’re looking great, I mean, not hot or anything but- uhm, better than before. At least not like a hobo, haha!”

Pidge curls her hands into fists, burrowing them in between her thighs for warmth. “Lance. . .”

“Nope, no! We’re totally not gonna talk about my petty feelings right now, not before we kick some Galran asses! And now that you can actually see, you should be right as rain.”

Pidge never does get to speak uninterrupted. She’ll regret it for the rest of her life.

--

Lance pants, gun heavy in his shaking arms. Sweat settles on his eyelids and temples, and his breath fogs the helmet, making every exhale look like frost. He runs as fast as he can, Pidge quick on his heels. They need this information, he reminds himself when his legs threaten to give out and he sees the head count they’re facing. They need this information, no matter what.

Pidge is the one extracting it, Allura is the distraction, Keith and Hunk keep the entire thing in one piece, the halls fracturing as it self destructs, and Lance has Pidge’s back during the vulnerable seconds she has to have her back open.

As the floor parts a few hundred feet behind them, Lance focuses not on the impending collapse and studies Pidge. She’s in her element, brows drawn low and mouth firm; if anyone saw the expression out of context, they’d surely think she must be royally pissed. It amazes him that someone can be so drawn into their work that they forget everything around them, which is why Lance is tagging along in the first place. She’s leaving herself open for attack, and he has to get between her and injury.

When Allura gave him this assignment, he thought for sure that everyone knew. That everyone knew that he finally figured out his obscure affection for the Green paladin to only be immediately shot down. That, no matter how much Pidge

feel for him, he’d get in the way of fire for her. But everyone acted oblivious, even Pidge herself, so he tried to calm the paranoia that nestles into his brain.

Here, in this moment, it’s easy to forget. The constant screech of metal on metal falling apart, gunfire, explosions and grunts of pain making it hard to concentrate on anything but surviving; it is the symphony of war, and the increasing rubble and chaos only makes his head ache and heart pound.

That might be why he’s too distracted to hear it, the lazer brushing against his cheek, narrowly missing Pidge. She jumps, and twists to glare at him. “What part of watch my back do you not get?!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

He shakes himself of any thought, only the tempo of battle, the fluid way in which his muscles bunch and flex and move with only memory to guide him. The next onslaught he’s on guard, actually doing his job this time.

The new wave overwhelms him, the bots now mixed in with real live Galran’s. One such Galran looks like a General from the insignia on his armor, and man, he’s a gnarly one. Instead of charging, the General lifts a fist, and the bots and the few organic soldiers stop and flee, but one. The Galran smirks, and turns on his heel, escaping down the hall.

“Uh. . .Pidge, you gonna be done soon?”

Sweat is visible on her forehead, dyed purple from the offensively bright light of the monitor, her bangs sticking to her temples. “Not. Now, Lance,” she replies through clenched teeth.

He focuses on the bot, shooting it almost point blank, the bullets bouncing right off of it. His breathing picks up then, because if his gun is useless, then *

pretty much useless right now, right?! Shifting his bayard into a broadsword, he lunges, and once again, it’s easily deflected, the sharp edges of the sword scraping off of it, sparks literally flying.

Pidge, still busy, doesn’t notice a thing, her mind completely focussed on her goal. Lance decides that he should be as well, and gets into a fighting stance, legs planted firmly on the ground. It’s only when the bot’s eyes start blinking an eerie red that he knows. He’s seen this before.

With little time, he grabs Pidge from behind, causing her to try to jerk away. He tightens his grip, body shielding her’s; the bomb goes off with a deafening *

rattling his very bones, the force flinging him, and therefore Pidge, sideways, Lance landing on Pidge’s small frame. Once the dust settles and the floor quits it’s scary shaking, Lance sighs with relief.

Pidge has the gall to look irritated, or maybe that’s just the shock. The expression goes lax when her gaze focuses on his chest.

“Lance. . .*

He giggles, his chest feeling engulfed in heat, probably from the close proximity to Pidge. She attempts to shake him, but he has enough strength in him to keep her pinned underneath him where she’s safe.

“Lance, where are you? Talk to me.”

His vision blurs, and he blinks. “I’m right here in your arms.”

Pidge curses through clenched teeth, eyes looking suspiciously wet. Huh, must be the dust swirling around, or even the sticky red wetness that drops on her cheek. Wait.

“Don’t look,” Pidge begs. “Don’t look, and don’t move, okay?”

He looks, and he immediately regrets it. He appears to be impaled, a hunk of metal peeking out right from center. He draws in a shaky breath and whimpers, the air rattling in his lungs wetly. It gets harder and harder to breath. His arms refuse to hold him up any longer, so he rests on Pidge, who is usually too boney to be a comfortable cuddle buddy. Not now -- now she feels like the most comfortable place, his bloody face tucking into the junction of her neck, smearing red traces of him behind.

Lance almost drowned once, when he was only five and small for his age. He’d almost been caught in a riptide, pulled under. He’d tried so hard to breathe, gulping down burning water into dry lungs. It feels sort of like that now, only so so so much worse, his soggy lungs feeling like useless sponges.

He catches the tail end of the pain, his sight fading quickly. Shuddering, he asks, “D-did you ge-get it?”

“Yes, idiot, I got it.”

His hearing goes last, and he swears he hears Pidge sobbing into the comms. It might just be hopeful thinking.

--

Despite popular belief, Pidge isn’t cold. She isn’t crass, nor uncaring. She just tucks the excess feelings into the corners of her heart until she can deal with them in the safe confines of her room, the gentle castle light illuminating tears tracks wetting her cheeks. But, now they don’t even have the castle, so she has nowhere to hide but inside her lion. It only makes it worse, Green’s feelings echoing hollowly in her mind, making the pain twofold. She can’t stay there, hunched over her chair.

They no longer have the Castleship, meaning they no longer have healing pods. The only way Pidge knows Lance is still clinging to life is the thread of connection that is shared between Green and Red. She exits, severing the mirrored emotions, and slumps beside a dying fire. The planet they landed on in a rush is empty and barren, lacking the right amount of oxygen, but Pidge lets her lungs struggle, knowing Lance is far worse off.

She glances at the cordoned off makeshift tent, shielding Lance, Coran and Allura from view. Discarded rags spill out of the opening, stained red. They don’t have a healing pod, and Allura can only seem to revive the already dead, and they can’t risk that, so they have to do everything the old-fashioned way. The dangerous way.

Funny how space has warped Pidge’s sense of death, the healing pods cushioning their fall so many times that it’s all too easy to take the plunge. Now the rug has been pulled out from under them at Lance’s expense.

Keith stokes the fire. The shadows make his face look hollow and sunken in, but maybe that’s just the grief; he can play all he wants, but Pidge notices the stubborn tears lining his eyelids, and as someone known for burying everything behind irritation herself, she knows he fears the worst. They all do. Hunk is distracting himself by showing Romelle how their Lions work, the latter looking confused and distant. And Pidge and Keith try to sear their corneas by the way they stare at the flames.

There is no jovial jokes, no lighthearted jabs; no one is there to make Keith confused, no one to annoy Pidge enough that she actually does her work on time for once. Their dynamic is shattered.

Allura may be the heart of Voltron, but Lance is the soul. A heart and mind is nothing without the warmth of a soul.

--

When Lance confessed to Pidge, she thought it was a joke. Lance’s face was beet red, his words rushing and falling over each other, his fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Someone must have put him up to this, she had thought. Maybe Hunk, that meddling snitch.

When Pidge didn’t say anything back it’s like he blanked out, his face falling slowly and then all at once. He went even redder and fled, leaving Pidge and her traitor heart to wallow it what could be. She knew she wasn’t the kind of girl he went for, pretty and nice smelling and giggly. Pidge snorted when she laughed, big bellowing hiccups, and she sure as hell wasn’t a looker. She forgot to shower more often than not! She totally smelled! Hunk just knew her feelings and meddled, that meddling meddler!

She hadn’t expected him to act so crushed, nor for him to begin avoiding her. She knew the looks they got from Allura and also knew the moment it interfered with Voltron, she’d step in. She hadn’t known the lengths in which he would one day go to protect her. If she had, she would’ve at least allowed herself a kiss.

Now, she tries desperately to put it out of her mind. She emotionally cuts it out, slams a barrier down between her and Lance in her mind, and proceeds to act like he’s already lost to them. And if he’s already lost, gone, than she can skip the grieving process entirely and wait to break once everyone pulls themselves together. Just like she prefers to be the last one awake, she’d also rather be the last one to cry, in the shelter of her own home, nestled under the blanket of her childhood.

So, she hums forcefully as she fries some space eggs, fanning the fire to make them sizzle. She gets an odd look from Hunk, and a knowing one from Matt, but goes about her business. She’s just trying to make breakfast here! Nothing to see! She holds her breath when Coran exits the tent in the corner of her eye, not daring to look directly at him for fear of his facial expression. They’ve begun to be grimmer and grimmer, like Lance’s ghost is getting closer and closer to the surface.

Hunk takes Shiro and Allura breakfast, leaving green in the face. He’s known for his weak stomach, she tells herself, but knows she won’t be able to convince her brain unless she sees it for herself. She’s never had much of an imagination when it comes to these things. But does she really want that to be her last memory of Lance? Would it be any better or worse than the sight of metal impaling him, the same piece that could’ve hit her instead if only Lance didn’t insist on heroics?

She sneaks after the fire dies down and the planet they’ve set up shop darkens, the skies full of unfamiliar stars and two moons that look like reflections of the other. Shiro and Allura are still inside, Allura slumped backwards, head tucked to her chest like she tried valiantly to stay awake, Shiro on the ground, dead to the world.

In between them is. . .a version of Lance. The sick smell of infection -- sweet and sour at the same time -- envelops the confines of the tent, is all that you can breath in. Pidge breathes shallowly, sweat prickling at her skin. He looks so small, skin an ill yellow tinged in white. In some lapse of judgement, someone folded his arms across his torso, like they were preparing him for a funeral. His funeral.

Suddenly Pidge feels too small, despite taking up the entirety of the entrance of the tent. Her lungs feel too small in her chest, like heavy stones that refuse to let even a gasp of air through their thresholds. Heart racing, she says with the last of her breath, “You martyring idiot.”

She turns away. She runs away. She slides next to Matt, her fingers trembling too much to allow her to unzip her sleeping bag, so she just lays atop it, gasping for air, feeling like she’s going to die.

Pidge thought the false realization that Matt was dead hurt her to the core; at least it wasn’t her fault. She had others to blame. The Galra, the universe, bad luck, the Garrison. Now she and the others only have her to thank when Lance slips away to a place she can’t follow just like everyone else.

--

Lance died. At least once. He’s not exactly sure how he knows, besides being blanketed by the brightest and softed blackness, similar to sleep but peaceful, no chance of bad dreams or sleepless nights. He remembers the disappointment he feels when he is pushed out of it, the brightness of life too blinding to be beautiful any longer. Now, the never ending grayness of his eyelids is just a nuisance.

So, he knows he died, and Allura must have brought him back. But, the feeling in his lungs still burn, he can still taste blood on his tongue, and everything hurts. He is forever tense, snippets of talking and crying and retching (Hunk, for sure) the only sense that doesn't hurt. So, when he finally awakens, his eyelids lifting their lifetime ban, he first sees Allura.

Any other time, that would’ve been a plus, right? Especially with how upset she looks, her eyelids red, her eyes tired and face tense. Like she was really worried about him. But he finds himself disappointed. He feels as though someone else should be there, someone less overbearing and more annoyed.

Damn, he has to be a masochist.

“-don’t move.”

“I reckon he-”

“Lance, buddy! LanCE! LAN-”

“Moron.”

He sighs as the voices of his comrades surround him, all but one. He blinks away the tears from the onslaught of light and motion, and sees every color but green. A pigment of their color wheel missing.

His chest tightens and he feels as though he's falling.

“He’s starting to hyperventilate. We need to knock him out, Princess.”

“Coran! We will do no such thing! We don't have the right sort of equipment to do it correctly and safely.”

A sound of frustration above him. “Yes, princess, I understand but he's not lucid enough to calm down on his own--”

“--idge,” He gasps between constrictive breaths. “Pid- Pidge, is she okay?!”

He opens his eyes he doesn't even remember closing. Keith is next to him, burn completely healed. How long has he been out?!

“She's fine, Lance,” he says. “You made sure of that.”

His lungs loosen just enough for him to take a breath. “Good. . .that's good.”

He attempts to sit up, but an ache soul deep makes every muscle tense in pain. With clenched teeth, he settles back down as everyone looks about ready to pounce on him. Coran is frantically shuffling through bottles and books, muttering to himself. Everyone else is frozen.

Quickly, he notes his surroundings. He doesn't remember this tent being here, but he supposes that since he was hurt they had to think of something to fully protect him from the atmosphere and any alien bacteria. It feels humid inside, the cluster of bodies heating up the small tent.

Once he takes in the sights (or the lack thereof) he notices the stench. Sweet, but not the good kind. Rotten sweet. Lance tries to sniff subtly.

“Is that,” he croaks, coughs again, “Is that smell me?”

Hunk turns a bit green at the mention. “Uhm yeah. Don't freak out, but seems you might have a teensy little infection. That we might not have the stuff to treat. But everything else is looking great! Totally surprised too, since I figured Allura is a legit necromancer.”

Keith is rolling his eyes as he hands Lance something to drink. The alien version of a bendy straw is sorta dizzying. He takes a sip, his dry mouth rejoicing.

“Pretty sure I died there again, actually.”

“Wait, WHAT?! YOU DIED BEFORE?!”

Lance clears his throat awkwardly. “Uh, yeah. Guess me and Shiro should get a club going. ‘Was Resurrected By Princess Allura Club.’ Though I guess Shiro was more downloaded than anything. . .”

“How is everyone so chill about this?!” Hunk asks when Allura starts to busy herself, Keith takes a drink from the bendy straw himself and Coran is counting on his fingers. When no one answers he deflates, shaking his head.

Clearing his throat, he continues addressing Lance. “Anyway! We got someone looking for the plant we need, so don't uh, worry!”

“You don't sound so confident, my Hunk. Shiro will be fine.”

“About that…”

--

“FUCK,” Pidge shouts as her comms go out. She's pressed against the ground, gravity making her feel like she weighs a thousand pounds, and her comms won't work! How will she call for backup?! Her brother is gonna freak if he tries to contact her while she's away and finds her unable to communicate!

She stills her jittery hands and takes a deep breath, Shiro’s mantra running through her head. Pidge is doing this for good reason. She's doing this for someone she cares about, and that has to be enough to pull her through.

Grunting, Pidge pulls herself up, her knees screaming in protest; the atmosphere isn't enough to crush her, but it's also harsh enough to make her job that much harder. Green is unsettled in the back of her head, their bond thrumming nervously. Gritting her teeth, she pushes forward. She's so close.

The plant that she needs to save Lance is nondescript. It looks like any average fern, from what Coran told her. They don't have the Castle of Lions to give her a visual, and she really dislikes being outside, but her heart pounds and skin prickles with panic when she thinks of refusing to do it or failing. In no undefined terms, Lance will die a slow, painful death if she doesn't succeed.

It's so quiet on her own. She's used to Lance’s chatter in her ear, usually bantering with Keith or flirting with Allura. She usually scolds or makes fun of him at those times, and now she feels guilty that she didn't do more for him. She may not have the strength to say yes to his confession, but she also doesn't want him to die or go away somewhere she can't tease him.

Pidge clutches her chest, the ache resonating within. She comes to the clearing Coran described, mostly unchanged over the 10,000 years he was asleep. The atmosphere must make it hard for large lifeforms to thrive, leaving gross bugs and dirt and multicolored ferns to take the space.

Examining the plants, she counts the number of barbs that stick out, strong enough to pierce flesh. She makes a sound when she finds it, carefully plucking the fern that also might kill her because Coran was pretty shifty when describing the thorn-like extensions. She tugs, pulls, whacks, but the plant is still firmly in the ground, the stem unharmed. Pidge tries to tear her hair out, only to find that she can't raise her arm over her shoulders, let alone her hand.

She sits back, sweat leaving uncomfortable trails down her face and making her armor stick to the middle of her back. Tears line her eyelids, momentarily blurring her sight. She failed. She failed and for the life of her she can't think of what to do. No amount of programming can help her here, and Green would destroy the plant trying to extract it.

Pidge grits her teeth in anger and flicks the stem with a rhythmic wack wack wack. It won't do anything, but the sound makes her muscles relax minutely, allowing her to think. She still comes up with nothing, but at least the tears threatening to spill no longer fog her helmet and she no longer tries to pull out her hair underneath that helmet.

Suddenly, there is a tremble that shakes the earth. Alarm rumbles in the back of her mind in the form of Green, alerting her that it must be something bad. Before she can make it fully standing, the ground seems to pulse, vein-like intrusions lifting, dark brown dirt spurting into the air like brown blood. The shaking stops, and she feels a thunk on her foot.

Across the ground is the fern, uprooted.

“Huh,” is all she can say.

--

Pidge has been gone for three days, according to Hunk. Lance has to pry the information out of him, the big fluffy worrier that he is. Knowing this isn't going to do him any more harm; fever will still shake his body, a sickly stench will still permeate his stifling tent, and he will still be slowly burning from the inside. What's a little worry? No biggie.

Hunk stays by his side, creating the illusion of healing by dabbing his sweat slick forehead with a chilled cloth like a maiden in a movie. He's sure pretty enough to be one, Lance jokes, but the jest falls on deaf ears.

Even if she makes it, Lance feels himself slipping.

Facing death once gives you a taste of it, but seeing it twice? Looking into the face of your own mortality? That gives you a sixth sense of just knowing, like muscle memory drilled into your brain. It's a memory and sensation that will never truly leave him.

But, as long as Pidge gets back safely, it'll be okay. The zen he feels should be odd, but right now, he welcomes it, is grateful for the clarity it gives him. He's dying, and he accepts it. Instead of staring it in the eyes, he closes his, basking in its bleakness, knowing that he will never be afraid of it again.

As his eyes droop, and after assuring Hunk that he isn't dying (yet), just sleeping, he allows himself to think of home. Of Cuba, the brightness of the sea and the smell of garlic knots fresh out of the oven and just calling him to burn his fingers on. Of his siblings and niblings laughter dancing around him, Veronica screaming behind clenched teeth, her well worn coolness melting down due to grubby hands.

He wonders how she's doing, more than any other sibling. She's smart, and disciplined, but even she will not be happy when finding out what the Garrison must be hiding. And she will. Sooner or later, she will find what she's looking for -- him, he knows that she doesn't believe he threw away his future for anything less than saving the universe -- and he doesn't trust the Garrison enough not to silence her. And when she does figure it out, he knows she will be waiting for him to come back.

Luis and Laura can readily move on. Not a slight towards them, not at all, but he knows they will give up looking. They're strong like that, knowing when to truly give up. He won't blame them or curse them their happiness.

He tries not to think of his mother or father, and especially not his grandparents, who were sickly and fragile when he left for the Garrison.

No, he thinks of his fellow Paladins. Allura is perfect in Blue, and he truly wishes that she was still the object of affection for he knew she was never going to he a reality. Instead, he has feelings for Pidge, who while still way out of his league, is not a warrior alien Princess.

He doesn't have to try hard to think of Hunk, who is still holding his hand as he drifts in and out of consciousness. He's truly an amazing friend, staying with Lance despite his weak stomach. He almost wishes that his buddy didn't have to see Lance like this, but knows that the fingers curled around his is the anchor holding him in this realm.

Shiro and Keith, now, are like distant stars. Now that Shiro is truly back, everything will slot together when Lance finally lets go. Allura can keep her place as Princess and Blue Paladin, and Keith can have Red back. Shiro can have his rightful place at the helm of Black, and the only minus the team will have is no sharpshooter and that no one to tell corny jokes that actually make sense as opposed to corny jokes that no one but Coran can understand, bless his soul.  

Lance isn't feeling sorry for himself, not truly. He knows that he is the weakest link. The team could readily replace him with a better sharpshooter, that much is true. And, in this cloudy place of half wakefulness, the pain isn't as severe as usual, just a light blow.

Hunk must notice a change, because Lance feels a few light slaps and hears “Lance? Lance?!” but he just can't bring himself to open his eyes. The heat increases, now on the edge of unbearable, his head ready to pop under the pressure. Multiple pairs of hands shuffle along his body, and he has no energy to make a joke about wandering hands.

Suddenly, his muscles tighten, so tightly he can't inhale a single breath. He bites his tongue harshly, blood filling his mouth. After this, he doesn't remember anything.

--

Pidge almost crash lands Green, jumping out of her mouth before she even lands. She rolls on landing, rising on her feet immediately and running as soon as she hits the ground. The camp is entirely empty, the fire unintended, and as weak as it is due to lack of oxygen, this alone is extremely alarming.

She makes a beeline to Lance’s tent, a stench so cloying surrounding it she almost gags. Once she pushes aside the flap of the entrance, Pidge sees a sight she will never forget.

The entire crew is here, in this cramped little tent, even Matt. In the middle of their close huddle is Lance, on his side, and he's *

, his body shaking with abandon that can only be loss of control. Many pairs of eyes snap up at her, all wet and red and hopeless.

Coran jumps into action first. “Come on, Number 5, please tell me you got it?!”

Air shutters out of her lungs. “I do, I-I got it right here.”

Eyes snatch down to her chest where she's cradling the prickly fern against her armor where it cannot penetrate. Coran ushers her in, making room next to Lance for her to fit into.

“What do I do?!” she asks. She can barely speak between heavy breaths, panic threatening to paralyze her tongue.

“We don't have time to do anything now! Not anything I know!” Coran cries. “But we have to try something. We need to stop this seizure, and we need to cool him down, and the only way to do that is to stop this infection! Nothing else works!”

Her brain stalls, focus locked onto the red, angry wound near his chest. She glances at the thorns, back to the wound, and does the first thing she thinks of. She turns him over on his back despite many protests and shoves the fern into his wound, the prickles piercing the skin.

At first, nothing happens. Pidge is out of her body, looking at her failure, at her worthlessness and the echo of grief it causes. Her chest wants to cave in, the heart in her chest beating so quickly she feels frozen despite the adrenaline it pushes into her body with every pump.

Then a gasp, one that isn't from her, sounds out. A ripple shakes Lance’s body one last time before he relaxes against the mat, like a demon within his body was finally exorcised.

No one speaks for a long time, until Hunk breaks the silence. “Did it work or is he. . .” His voice is heavy with tears.

Coran checks Lance’s pulse. “It's stronger than it has been, but still weaker than I like. But. . .I don’t smell the infection as thickly as before.”

Keith slumps against Hunk, Shiro wipes his face with his hand and Allura’s eyes well with tears of relief. Pidge, well, Pidge can't bring herself to be relieved when she knows someone doesn't come back from an infection like that without injury or disability.

The pressure on her chest doesn't lift and she turns on her heels and escapes the cooling sickness that fills the air.

--

There is no place to hide on the barren planet, so Matt finds her quickly. His gentle hand on her shoulder jolts her out of her unhappy musings, and it could have been a welcome distraction if she didn't know that he had a lecture in mind.

“Pidge,” he starts.

“No. I know what you're going to say. It is all my fault, this is all my fault! Maybe if I told him the truth when he confessed he wouldn't have seen the need to sacrifice himself for me, and if only I had been smarter and quicker and better I'd have gotten here sooner and he would be in better shape!” She stands, then, fists clenched at her sides. “You saw that seizure! There is no way he's coming back from that without going wrong!”

Matt is quiet before he answers. “You just answered my questions. But, Katie, you can't nitpick your every action or you'll always been in the cycle of self-hatred. Do you think I didn't blame myself for what happened to Shiro, because I was weak?”

“But it wasn't your fault!”

Her brother’s look is a cross between exasperated and fond. “Exactly. So, with that logic, this isn't your fault either. Do you think if Lance jumped in front of a bullet -- er, metal projectile? -- after you rejected him, that he wouldn't have done the same if you said yes?”

“But,” she begins, “But, he could've died. . . Might still die, not knowing how I really feel. It's scary, thinking about it, that he'd never know, and die thinking I barely think of him as a friend.”

This time, Matt’s expression is pure exasperation. “Then go tell him! What happened to my genius little brat sister?!”

She only brings herself to stand after some animated shooing from Matt, and darts back Lance’s tent on wobbly knees.

--

Lance wakes in intervals. His consciousness is like a wave, swelling only to retreat as soon as it crests. His eyelids are the beach, his eyelashes the mist of the ocean, and wakefulness the sea threatening to tear his very pleasant dream down like a damp sand castle. He's making some awesome metaphors, so really, that's the first inkling that something must not be right. The next is that when he wakes, Pidge is there at his side, grasping his hand.

“Am I in heaven or hell?” he asks, voice rough from disuse and sickness.

Instead of a playful smack, Pidge laughs tearfully. “Neither, idiot.”

“Forgive an idiot for asking.”

“I-I, er, I want to say something. Before you're completely lucid and I can readily deny it if needed.”

“Am I dying, doc?” That one actually gets him a flick this time.

“Shut up and lemme talk, okay. It's about your confession-”

This feels too much like a dream. “No, nope, let's not do that. You don't have to act like you like me just because I almost died.”

Pidge visibly grits her teeth. “No, that's not what this is, idiot. I really like you, for some reason. I, I just let my insecurities get in the way, and I realized that you could've died without ever knowing. I know I'm not very girly, even once my gender was revealed, and I'm not polite or a Princess or a hot guy like Keith or Shiro. I'm just a-”

“Wonderful, smart, caring, loyal, fierce person. Should I go on?”

Pidge turns a cute shade of red and Lance wants to make her do that a million times a day.

“I don't see what you see,” she grumbles.

He smiles, feeling his eyes grow heavy. “You will. I'll help.”

Grasping his hand tightly, she says, “You too. We're both idiots, aren't we?”

[knightofbalance-13]

http://alexlayer.tumblr.com/post/176844267252/how-not-to-ever-ever-defend-jaune-part-2

*clicks tounge* Yeah, you should probably stop demanding people not defend Jaune.

You will lose that battle.

Thanks @saltwukong for the title idea, and yet again, here’s another argument deconstruction, courtesy of @outcasts-redeemer‘s stubbornness. (Full thread here.)

Yes because listening to the guy known for lying is such a great idea...

Yes, yes he DID hypocritically lecture Neptune about it, because nothing in that scene truly shows that he learned anything other than to finally get the hint that Pyrrha likes him. He disregarded Weiss’ feelings – multiple times – and then tries to lecture Neptune on doing exactly that. That’s hypocrisy in a nutshell.

You know, he did learn he should have taught about PYRRHA’S feelings as well. And THAT was what he learned. And that beyond this scene, we see him never asking Weiss out again. So evidently he did learn something.

For him to not be a hypocrite in that scene, it’d require that he’d actually own up to his mistake, and apologize to Weiss for how he acted. Even if it was as much as telling Pyrrha that he realized he acted improperly towards Weiss (and maybe leave the apologize for later) would suffice to let the audience know that he has actually learned, but no such thing happen, and at no point Jaune actually recognizes that he did anything wrong. Thus, he’s in absolutely no position to call out Neptune for anything.

Not really, what Neptune did was actually worse. He kind of lead Weiss on and then basically broke her heart. I think anyone not named ‘Adam’ has the right to call Neptune out on that one.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Weiss having been a bitch does not in any way justify Jaune being a douche and keeping on hitting on a girl who’s clearly got no interest in him whatsoever.

And the most Weiss did was try to get Pyrrha to be her partner for as much as a single scene, not constantly push her into anything, through multiple occasions, while she clearly expresses disinterest, like Jaune did for Weiss.

Not the point here. The point here is to point hypocrisy, like how you bash Jaune for doing something you forgive Weiss for doing.

Not to mention that Jaune only asked Weiss out three times. DID constantly push her in that sceen while showing disinterest by trying to get away. That’s how shy people show disinterest: trying to get away.

Again, that doesn’t justify anything.

And again, that’s not his point, which is actually trying to EXPLAIN it.

Yeah, it’s in the show, and it makes no freaking sense at all. Pyrrha said she liked Jaune because he treated her like a normal person and didn’t put her on a pedestal to, you know, the guy who went nuts over discovering she was that celebrity in the cereal box and laughed at the idea that the Pyrrha Nikos would be without a date to the dance. The show tells you one thing and then it shows you another, and that has hardly ever been as blatant as with this scene.

That isn’t putting her on a pedestal. That’s just being in awe for a few seconds. And Pyrrha was clearly hurt by what Jaune said. And even then, you miss all the times Jaune treats her as an equal or doesn’t seem to care about her being some huge celebrity.

This is just you trying to justify irrational hatred.

And Jaune was infatuated with Weiss, but there’s a big difference between that and actually caring for someone, especially when it’s clear that Jaune doesn’t even know Weiss that well.

*sighs* And the purpose of dating is suppose to be GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE. That’s like saying ‘You’re a racist!’ while slapping down any attempts at them trying to not be racist.

Neptune is a douche, there’s no denying that, but you know what’s good about it? That the show doesn’t pretend he’s anything else, which is why he’s so often the punch of nearly every joke.

... No, that’s Jaune. Jaune is the punch of nearly every joke. Neptune is the punch of THREE jokes, one of which is just about his fear of water.

But it’s really telling that you wanna demonize him, yet seem to ignore everything wrong the boy you’re trying to defend did. You know, like cheating into a school he was not fit in, putting his friends and classmates in danger, lying to his teammates, disregarding the feelings of a girl he’s crushing in, ignoring his partner, being a hypocrite, getting mad when your partner shows better leadership than you do.

A. You do the exact with Weiss here.

B. Jaune probably never got the chance.

C. name one time

D. name one time and no, the cheating doesn’t count because they know about that.

E. Not only does he fix that but both Neptune AND Weiss do the same shit

F. Glass houses

And G. Source.

What input? No, seriously, what fucking input? Nobody, NOBODY called him out on he was doing because despite everything, the narrative was bent over backwards with trying to make us sympathize with him. Pyrrha just told him to go for it first, then just told him why she liked him later on, and he and Ruby just talked about practically nothing.

Pyrrha and himself.

You do know the narrative made Jaune drop this right? You outright admit it so you KNOW this.

Jaune learned absolutely nothing of value here.

You misspelled “I”.

The only thing he learned is that “hey, maybe I should turn my eyes on the girl that’s clearly pinning for me rather than the one I’ve obviously got no chances with” and went with it, and then for some reason felt entitled and/or emboldened to call out Neptune for disregarding Weiss’ feelings despite having done just the same himself and never apologizing or even recognizing he did wrong before.

Which is why we NEVER SEE HIM HIT ON PYRRHA EVER or even show faint interest in her as a romantic partner and only did what he promised. Doesn't really work if you think for more than 2 seconds.

You mean, the fall they still both had to endure? The only thing really saving them there was cartoon physics.

And don’t you even dare box Ruby with Jaune. Ruby went to fight the Death Stalker because that’s just her thing and she honestly thought she could beat it. At no point there’s any suggestion that she did it to impress Weiss.

You strike me as the type of person who would scream at a firefighter who got his face burned off for not saving your TV.

And while that is partially correct: Jaune didn’t do it to impress Weiss. He did it because altruism.

So what’s he even protecting her from if not from Neptune then, mh?

Broken feelings.

At any rate, did you stop for a moment to consider she never needed him to protect her, or her feelings, from anything here? When was Weiss even shown to be hurt by what happened? You know what’s the difference between her and Jaune? It’s that when she gets rejected, she takes it like much more of a man than he’ll ever get to be and just gets over it. Doesn’t push it, doesn’t mope about it, just lets it go. She was fine going to the dance just by herself, and didn’t need some douche who kept disregarding her feelings acting like he had to save her from some injustice that was never there to begin with, because again, no matter what Neptune did, he was never obligated to accept Weiss’ invitation.

The fact that she’s sad about it.

And yet when Neptune disregards Weiss’ feelings: that’s perfectly fine.

Do you even realize how much you’re reaching now, trying to make a moment where these two never even interacted somehow be about them?

... DO you know how much YOU’VE been reaching?

Hell, I can barely see your point since this could be argued as “Jaune is not the same person you’re bitching about.

’m not going to blame Jaune for Cinder’s action. I’m going to blame Jaune for being an idiot who jumped the gun and put his whole team in danger for rushing into a fight, breaking his team’s formation and then allowing their enemies to pick them out one by one at their own leisure. That’s without mentioning that nearly everyone there had reasons to be really pissed at Cinder and her colleges, yet Jaune was the only one who lost his cool, and it’s certainly not helped by the fact that the last trigger was just that Cinder didn’t know who he was.

...

There was no formation, they weren’t going for a fight, that was gonna happen anyway and the narrative AGREES with you.

Not to mention it didn’t occur to that responding to “You’re a cold heartless monster who destroys the lives of everyone around you without as much as ounce of regret” with “who are you?” kind drives home the point Jaune was making: Cinder didn’t even care enough to remember her actions.

This is a BASIC HUMAN REACTION. The fact that this never occurred to you kind of shows how fucked you are in regards to Jaune.

Fuck that. You bet your ass I’m gonna go there, specially if you’re gonna do something as petty as try to blame Weiss for Pyrrha’s death. He had ONE job and he fucking blew it because he couldn’t fucking focus on it. Thirteen seconds is more than enough to spot an opponent and ready your shield for them, anyway.

A. Where he did he do that? I am not gonna find proof FOR you.

B. His best friend was screaming in pain. This is the second time you’ve bashed Jaune for having a human reaction.

C. yeah but guy who can barely kill an Ursa Vs. Woman who punted Ruby rose around like a toy. Jaune was gonna fail no matter what.

Jaune snapping and rushing into a fight was still a stupid thing to do, and it’s something for which others have been called out for doing in canon, so you can bet I’m going to call him out on this, especially since Cinder likely wouldn’t have even thought of targeting others if he kept his mouth shut. You just can’t guarantee things playing out the same even if there had been some changes, especially when the whole scene is set up in such an obvious, contrived way.

Well then, i’m gonna go there as well:

Cinder took joy in causing pain to Amber and gloated over killing Pyrrha. She was gonna target others no matter what. She’s a fucking SADIST. Or would you rather have Ruby be in this situation so we can see your bias?

And yeah, I can. it's this thing called LOGIC.

Yeah, sure, sure, but see, fittingly enough, you’re just like the show you’re trying to defend. It says one thing, it shows another. Sorry to tell you, but I’m not buying into any of this bullshit.

And you’re just like what you accuse this person as: Someone who says one thing and says another while also irrationally defending their points. So by your own rules, no one should buy your bullshit.

And Weiss getting hurt for the sake of Jaune’s manpain and unlocking his Semblance was the cherry on top of the cake, and they fucking better not also try to use this as an excuse for Weiss respecting Jaune from here on, because that’s just gonna be the drop that does it.

... SO where’s the point where Jaune is used to show Ruby’s womanpain in Volume 4? Where’s the point of Blake being used for Yang’s womanpain in Volume 3? Where’s the point of Jaune being used for Pyrrha’s womanpain in Volume 2? Where’s the point of Ozpin being used for Ruby’s womanpain in Volume 1?

You may as well scream “I’M SEXIST!” at the top of your lungs.

You tried to blame Weiss for Pyrrha’s death! You can’t get any more blatant with shitting than that!

And you defended other characters for doing what Jaune did. You’re no better.

Also proof.

It’s called criticism, bucko. If you don’t like it, do yourself a favor and block the RWDE tag.

Jaune h8.

You literally tagged as hate.

Even if this guy is a Jaune stan, you’re no better. You’re just the opposite extreme.

[fuck-customers]

Few Months worth of BS

So a mix of be hardly getting on tumblr anymore and submissions being closed whenever I am on has caused a pileup of BS stories from both jobs, enjoy. 

Note- Job 1 is gas station cashier, job 2 is Tiny SeaTzars

1. Job 1- it’s like 9am, i’m barely awake and this dude who looks old enough to be my dad comes in. He’s nice enough, pleasant guy, buys his stuff and leaves. Comes back in like 5 seconds later to ask if i’m married. I was 17 at the time so I said “Sir, i’m 17.” and he immediately backpedaled thank the heavens. Creepy enough, yeah? Nope! His first thought was to say “I’m so sorry, it’s just my wife recently passed and I’ve been looking.” To which my manager (my mom) pops around the corner and says “Well you’re looking in the wrong places sugar.” In a lovely tone that screamed “You’re 3 seconds from joining your wife”. He left redder than a tomato and that incident has become a running joke with everyone. 

2. Job 1- Slow day so far, mostly just pissers. (peeps who use the bathroom and don’t buy anything) Dude comes in looking like hell. Fills his own cup up from our fountain and gets pissy when it rings up a whopping $2, says it’s a refill. I tell him we don’t have refill prices. So he goes and switches it out to one of our cups. Then he wants to pay with a card, gets even more pissy when I tell him there’s a $5 minimum on cards, says “that’s bullshit, since when?” Well ever since the card fees aren’t worth it on under $5 purchases, so always. Best part of that is we have LARGE signs on both sides of the door and ON THE FRONT of the fountain machine that say “Due to fees, there is a five dollar minimum purchase requirement on all cards, thank you for your cooperation!” He gets pissed beyond words, my manager tries getting him to calm down, he says “Not right now, you really don’t know the kind of day i’m having.” Things escalated quick and next thing I know he throws his full cup of soda on the floor and stormed out cussing up a storm. I ran after him and got his plate number as my manager called the cops but they couldn’t get anything from it so he’s never been found and ugh. Prick. Prick is all I can say.

3. Job 2- Someone actually called Tiny SeaTzars to ask for the hours of the CFK (backwards) next door. Just… really?

4. Job 2- We have a new dude, on like his second week. If a pizza is expired (been in the box for over an hour) we workers can eat it. Boy he was happy about that. Thing is, he’s almost always eating. Wasn’t working Friday but got told Saturday. It’s about 6pm, y'know, near peak rush hour when we can easily make a $2k hour, and he’s in the back leisurely eating pizza. Everyone else is busting their ass and he’s eating. Makeline dude had to leave his post to get sauce (because SOMEONE wasn’t at his post where he could be asked to get it for him so makeline doesn’t have to LEAVE THEIR POST IN THE MIDDLE OF A RUSH) and found him and chews him out, and thankfully he got a writeup for it. But just??? Bruh what level of stupidity/obliviousness do you gotta be on to see everyone rushing and running around you and think “Oh, time to eat some pizza.” ????

4. Job 1- Lady I don’t know comes up to the pump and sets of the bell that says someone’s trying to get gas. We have some regulars that we just release it and they’re trusted to come in and pay after, otherwise we’re prepay. However, I have never seen this chick before since I’ve worked here so not doing that. I tap her pump on my screen to shut it up and wait for her to come in. She does, all smiles, and says hi. I ask what I could help her with, she gets a confused look on her face and says “I need gas.” and I tell her we’re prepay. Bitch mode starts to wind up and she asks in a pissy voice “Really? Since when?” and I tell her “Since the station opened.” and then she says “Hmph, okay, I’ll talk to Sean (store owner) about that.” and leaves. Like, okay? We’re prepay, you’re not gonna change that by talking to the boss, who will tell you we are prepay. I don’t get people who think they can namedrop my boss to scare me??? Like “I know Sean.” Yeah, he runs a mechanic shop, half the county knows him, your point?? Best part is when they mispronounce his name or get it entirely wrong. “Yeah, me and Shane have been friends since we were kids.” Well good for you and Shane, but that ain’t helping you with SEAN.

5. Job 2- Lady calls in a 10 pizza order to be picked up the next day at 10am. We don’t open until 10:30. I try telling her and she get’s angry but tried meeting in the middle for 10:15. Talked to my managers and they said no way before 10:30. Tell her and she gets so pissed. “For such a big order you can’t get there 15 minutes early to open?” Okay first of all, do you really believe that we get here at 10:30 and open up? What the fuck are we going to sell?? We need to count down the registers, prep the toppings, make sheetouts and stock the hotboxes. We’re here at 6am or better just so we CAN open up at 10:30. We can’t just open the doors at 10:15 because if there’s more customers waiting around we’ll have to serve them when we’re NOT ready because we let you in, and then it snowballs into “well you were open this early yesterday/last week/blahblah” and then we get in trouble. In the end she cancelled her order and asked for corporates number. 

6. Job 2- Sunday after-church rush. Coworker calls in to ask for when he works next. Manager flat out tells him to get up and come check for himself because we can’t stop and look for him right now and hangs up. Seriously dude, literally EVERYONE knows to take a picture of the schedule when it’s posted. You hang around for half an hour before you leave every day anyway so wtf is stopping you from being an adult and taking a picture of your hours?? He called back like three times over the next few hours and we finally slowed down and told him but my god how stubborn and lazy do you have to be.

7. Job 1- Dude and his friend come in, one goes the the bathroom, the other gets some candy (which is RIGHT on the other side of my counter) and then goes looking around the shelves for other stuff. Buddy comes back to pay for gas and other guy leaves. I tell bathroom boy to hold on and I do a quick survey of the shelves find nothing, then go out to their car and see candy snatcher reclined in the seat eating the Reese’s he just took. I tapped on the window and the dude about jumped a foot in the air. I said “So, do you wanna pay for that or should I just go on and call the cops on you for shoplifting?” and luckily the dude doesn’t try fighting it and comes back in and tells his friend to pay for it. Friend is notably pissed and just glares at him. Tells me to just put whatever change is left after the candy in gas and heads out. Sincerely hope his friend at least thunked him in the back of the head for trying, and failing, at being a petty candy thief. 

8. Job 2- Ever since I’ve gotten glasses my eyes have been bloodshot almost a constant 24/7. Eyedrops clear it up for maybe an hour or two. The first few days the “are you high” question and jokes were kinda funny and amusing, but it’s been two months and it’s still going on. I would just stop wearing my glasses but I need them to legally drive (astigmatism in both eyes) so ugh.

9. Job 1- Once again, the station is prepay. It’s written on every pump in very large letters above every handle. Please tell me why these 5 asian guys (I think relevant? They didn’t seem to understand me well so maybe language block?) could not get it through their heads that they have to pay before they get their gas. They come in saying the pump isn’t working, I say we’re prepay, you have to pay before you get it. One of them goes to hand me his card and I ask how much in gas he’d like. Confusion. Ended up having to explain what prepay was (felt like a tool because of it) and they ended up leaving saying “Okay, we go to station down the street.” And I just.. Okay? Every station in the county is prepay but okay, you do you. Honestly this is more of a “I hope I didn’t offend them” than a fuck them thing. Felt bad I couldn’t help them.

10. Job 2- We ran out of green peppers, so one of our supremes is off the menu unless they’re fine with no peppers. Dude calls and wants the pepper supreme. I tell him we’re out of green pepper and he goes into upset toddler mode. 

Him: “Out of peppers, are you kidding me? How does that even happen?!”

Me: “Well, it’s kinda a supply and demand thing, Sir. If it’s a popular topping we’ll run out of it quick.”

H: “How can you run out of peppers it’s a pizza store you’d think you’d be able to tell when to order more of a topping!!”

And we don’t order it ourselves? We take count and tell our District Manager that we need things and he’s supposed to order them for us? (Dumb system I know but it’s what’s in place) 

In the end he asked for a manager and just hung up when he said the same thing. Found out he left a review on google about us. “Horribly unprepaired for the simplest of orders.” okay buddy, take the one star review and shove it up your ass.

11. Job 2- This one girl I go to school with got hired on. She seemed nice enough, we never talked before but apparently she knew me. She’s a decent worker (few nit-picky things, nothing bad) but… She makes me want to hit her sometimes. I get it, you’re trying to be funny/bubbly/joking/whatever, but I don’t know you well enough for you to be making jokes off of my appearance? I’m aware I that have a slightly larger than average head, I don’t like attention being drawn to it, especially randomly? We’re stretching dough and she just randomly says “You got a big ass head you know that? A big ass head.” and laughs. Like… Thanks, it’s not like that was a point of ridicule in the past or anything. And then while we’re washing dishes she gets mad and threatens to beat me for, wait for it, splashing her with water.

At the sink.

While doing dishes.

And she’s too extra with her reactions. Little extra is funny, I admit, but she is over the top. I was washing deep dish pans and a flake of bread flew off and hit her with some water. She spat and did that little “pthptpthpthtpht” thing  for almost an entire minute, then went on to say “We gonna throw hands if you do that again” I just… Kindly shut the fuck up and let me to dishes by myself if you’re gonna be such an extra [word that almost got this post deleted] like that okay? Just kindly fuck off.

I have plenty more but I feel like this post is too long as is. Enjoy my suffering and expect more to come.

[amykate96]

[part 8 - 26/10/2019]

It’s been a while I guess

So much so that I had to hunt down the last part to figure out where I was.

so update, me and my mum now live with my gran, which is… I don’t know. It is what it is. She’s 87, nearly 88 with memory problems and has a stubborn attitude, my mums a 50 year old alcoholic, and I’m a 23 year old hermit who has ever growing anxiety problems thanks to this house… which is just … great.

So lets back track.

My mum and my step-dad were still drinking everyday, using each other as their excuse of course, cause what else are they gonna do? Rightfully admit they have problems with drinking and go and get help? I don’t think so. They were arguing alot, normally petty things. “Well hes doing this, don’t you think that’s selfish”? “well your mother wants this, so I’ll do it cause I don’t want her to leave” (because let’s add guilt tripping and side playing onto me from both of them into the mix as well). Now my step-dad made it very clear that he didn’t want us to go, he loves mum and he Isn’t as bad as she’s making out, yadda yadda yadda. And she’s made it very clear that shes going (not forgetting she has a guy on the side that she still hasn’t told him about). Now here’s the thing, he doesn’t wash, change his clothes, doesn’t want to get out of bed, doesn’t take any medication doctors prescribe him, gets drunk every day which he says is because of “boredom” and forms and unhealthy attachment to, not really my mother, but the feeling of people being in the house, (seeing as he doesn’t bother coming out to talk to those people). What does all this sound like to you I wonder… If you tell him to go to the doctors for it however, he’ll just tell you your'e being stupid. And mum is just selfish and emotionally manipulative, but hey ho, we new that already.

In between this and us moving, I have a weird mid-life crisis. I had had arguments with 2 different friends, petty reasons, but it was due to happen, previous tension and all that, and because of the arguing, and it turning into winter, I felt so… empty. I wanted to move away, but I couldn’t afford it, I wanted to get a new job, but I felt so stuck to the pub because of the circumstances… But out of no where, I got a decent tax rebate from the bank, so I quit my job (to find a better job after, I’m not dumb, I didn’t just quit to live off a rebate) and booked a tour holiday by myself to Bali… cause why not, told you, mid-life crisis. I needed to get away from the situation, and I missed the sun, it was a win win really (even if the tour started 2 days after moving).

So moving day, 18th of September, it was alot. I already had boxes packed for weeks just sitting around because mum kept changing the dates of when we were going, and when the day came, she had a couple of her friends from the pub, one of which owns a van, to help us move. But here’s the real kicker. She told them it was only her stuff going, and maybe a couple bits of mine going.

SHE WAS NEVER PLANNING ON ME MOVING ON THAT DAY WITH HER

AND SHE DIDN’T BLOODY TELL ME THAT

So there I am on that morning, taking apart any furniture I need to, and any little bits that still needed to be packed. And she kept walking in and out not saying anything. I only found out when the guys with the van came and they were shocked with how much stuff, and I overheard my mum apologising to them. So that’s just great for the emotional range of not feeling wanted. Lets make a check box shall we.

When we get to my grans, which is only 10 minutes away, I go up to the room I’m going in, which is like… that Tetris piece that looks like a bridge, thin with nibs on the end I guess. But anyway, all my grans stuff is still in here, her clothes are in the crappy wardrobe, which I asked my gran if we could get rid of since it’s falling apart, her stuff is still in the teeny walk in closet, her clothes are on the bed, there’s stuff under the bed, my uncles fishing stuff is all over the room and there’s just her clutter everywhere.

So not only was I not meant to go with mum on that day, apparently i wasn’t expected there either, according to my gran. Let’s add another strike to the feeling of not feeling wanted.

So I hide in the front room and have a panic attack, because me and mum had already had an argument about her not telling me I wasn’t meant to be coming, and her cousin who was helping us, found me. And after I explained it, she calmed me down and got my mum, she saw the state I was in, and we talked. Eventually mum understands why I’m upset and she helps me sort out my room first, before her own. So all my grans clothing (except the stuff in the wardrobe) goes back in her room, mum takes the fishing stuff in her room, and the other crap just gets hidden underneath my grans bed and we still hope she doesn’t find it.

(and btw, I still can’t use that wardrobe, I’ve got a box on-top of it, and that’s it, I don’t need it, and it@s falling apart, but I can’t touch it because it has her stuff still in it. And because of that, I can’t fit my desk in my room. So any work or drawings I want to do, I have to do in bed… You can imagine how that comes out.)

Day 1 is fine, no wifi or sky, but we were dealing with it

Day 2, I’m off to Bali

I won’t talk about Bali here, but what I will say, is that it is exactly what I needed. I got away, I got to be independent, I got to be myself. And when I came back, everyone noticed the difference in me. But that only lasted a week, tops.

(Side note, the day I landed I went to the pub to say hello to people, my step-dad was there. I went to hug him to say hello, and basically what I got was “I miss you both, I wish you’d both come back, also can you look at this phone please, because it’s linked to your email”… Yeah thanks, the holiday I went on by myself for two weeks was great btw… Thanks for asking)

So now really started when I’d be living with my mum and gran, and I assumed mum would be so much happier and better. But very shorty i started realising that mum hadn’t changed at all, if anything, she’s started getting worse.

Because “wine” had entered the chat.

Now I’ve said before what she was like on wine, and why, even she’d admit, we agreed she would stay away because she can’t control herself, and she becomes a completely different person on it. Someone I don’t like.

But here we are, she spends nearly every night out getting drunk, or going to see her man, and drinking in the process. And this has all been a long winded way to explain why I’m writing again, after nearly a year. Because wouldn’t you guess it, I’ve just had to work myself out of a panic attack. Fun fun fun

Context (take note, I am aware this is all small stuff compared to other things, but it is on my mind and I need to vent), a few days ago we were having the sky installed for the 3 T.Vs. I had a pretty bad cold this day, so mum did offer to call in sick for work. But I said no, it was fine, the main reason being because I thought it was pretty cheeky for her to use that as an excuse to call in sick. The window for the sky was 8am - 5pm, big window. But of course he comes a 4pm. Meaning I’ve had her on the phone nagging me all day asking if hes been. And the poor guy, he was expecting a quick job activating their new sky infinity thing, not 3 old sky boxes which all require their own cables connected to the new aerial hes just put in as well. He was here for over 3 hours, and during this, he asked me (in mums room) if she had a cable to plug her TV in, cause he wanted to check the sky box was working. I couldn’t find one, I called her up, and she couldn’t work out what I was on about. So I had to drag my TV out of my room and into hers just so he could check it worked. She then called me up “ask him if hes got one in his van, ask him where to buy one, ask him for an extra remote control, bla bla bla”. Now, ngl, I was kinda annoyed that she had finished work, she knew the guy came late and was still here, and the only issue thus far was with her TV, but she still went out to see her guy, which she only conveniently told me, in the middle of the day, not before she went to work. And I know her, she plans these things, it wasn’t last minute.

She comes back, drunk again, digging through her old bags and draws looking for the TV wire (even though I’d gone through them earlier like she asked me to). But in case she couldn’t find one, her guy lent her a cable, so she asked me to help with. Again, still slightly pissed off, and she hasn’t said one word to me except for help, baring in mind I stayed in, helped the guy with mums TV and I was ill, a thank you would have been nice. Funny enough though, it was the wrong cable. So she has an emotional breakdown cause she can’t watch TV in her room that night (not like it was a new thing) and I just say (passive aggressive, I know) “well what do you want me to do about it, it’s the wrong cable, so it’s not gonna work” and what I get back is a drunk, sarcastic, and moody “oh well thanks for your help then”. I lost it, told her I was pissed off and why. And her side was that she told me she was going out, and that she did offer to call in sick. We argued and went to our separate rooms.

We didn’t really speak for a couple of days, if anything, she made me more pissed off at her because she decided to throw the charger for my toothbrush outside my bedroom door like a child instead of bringing it in… Shes 50 years old baring in mind. So if she wanted to be childish, then so would I, I left it there.

Again, not spoken for days (Yes I know that’s petty, but remember we work opposite shits and she likes to go out, so…) and today is the 26th, I went to comic-con, (by myself btw, cause apparently everyone else had already planned to go with their other friends, another check in that unwanted box please), but I go for a couple of hours, buy some stuff and come home around 4. I asked my gran where mum was, she said she was food shopping with “Trish”, a friend she only started talking to again recently, cause mum has a habit of getting bored of people and forgets about them until she needs something from them. But wouldn’t you know it, Trish is also a red wine drinker. You can see where this is heading.

So I hear mum come in around 5/6 or something, cause she just came in to tell me she had been out. Then at 8 I get a text saying she’ll be back home in 5 mins. Well first off, I didn’t even know she went out, she’s not exactly the “I’m off now” kind of person. And second of all she’d only text me that if she was drunk, she doesn’t bother texting me much when she’s sober, unless she wants something. And vodka doesn’t get her drunk that quickly. So of course she comes into my room just to complain that there’s 2 pairs of sky buttons downstairs for some reason and neither of them are working. I’m annoyed (take a guess why) but I go down, it was only a case of my gran using her old TV buttons out of habit and changing the source. Easy fix. But my mum was drunk enough that she didn’t remember bringing down the second remote (it was in her room, my gran wouldn’t have even gone in there in the first place) so when I come out the living room, she tried to say something, but tripped and started laughing, so I just “ffs”‘ed and started going upstairs, she tried calling after me, but I told her to leave me alone. And then we have her calling me rude, and other stuff under her breath.

And to top it off, 10 minutes later she’s calling up the stairs for my help again, because the volume on the sky buttons isn’t working. So I yell back telling them to use the TV buttons. And that makes me rude again because I didn’t go downstairs to help, I just yelled back down to her yelling up to me.

If you want my help, come and get me. Don’t call me out for copying the shit you do.

I know these seem like such small things, and they are. But after coming back from Bali and having an amazing time, then coming back and feeling just as I did before we moved. Makes you wonder doesn’t it, whether it was the situation, or her.

All i know now is, I have an accepted holiday working visa to NZ as of now, and I want to leave as soon as possible. I cant live here much longer. I cant keep getting dragged down by her! I just cant do it anymore!