#like I’m not gonna pretend I’m the bigger person in this situation or didn’t do anything wrong

[bambino1294]

and when I get out of this FUCKING HOUSE

[goldenheartstudios]

I wanna talk about Bart's sexuality in the comics

  Disclaimer 1: Just the good ol’ reminder that this is based on an opinion and shouldn’t be taken as a fact. This post is an analysis/interpretation/reinterpretation based on a headcanon, so I don’t want to pretend that this is the only right way to see the character or the story, because that’s not the case at all

  Disclaimer 2: This post is long because I like to explain and go into details about things. You’ve been warned

  With that out of the way, I can now give some actual context

  You see, I said this in a post once, but my way of headcanoning something is by building from canon, without necessarily contradicting what we’ve seen or know. But there is a kind of exception of that

  Which is me headcanoning some of my favorite characters as aroace. Why, do you ask? Because I’m myself aroace, simple as that

  And well, Bart is not only a favorite character, he’s one of my comfort characters. He’s quite a blorbo, if you will

  But, as I’ve read through many of his comic appearances, I noticed that this headcanon fits actually quite well with his behavior and things we’ve seen (so far), so i decided that a discussion on how Bart would be aroace could be a fun thing to do

  Without further ado, I guess I can start!

  First thing first, if there are people who don’t know what aroace is, I’ll give a simple explanation:

  Aroace is being aromantic asexual. Aromantic means having little to no romantic attraction, and asexual means having little to no sexual attraction. Simple, right?

  There are some more factors about it, like the person’s attitude towards romance/sex and how there are different ways to be aromantic or asexual, but I’ll not delve into that because otherwise this post would get too long. There are however some quick videos I recommend to watch if you want to have a bigger understanding on those orientations (and this youtuber is pretty cool too):

  For aromantic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u50eURBqG-k

  For asexual: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pM-nKODEL_

  In the course of many comics, Bart showed a lack of interest in the two, especially at the beginning. This was tried to be explained with his fast aging situation, that his lack of emotional maturity meant for him to not be ready to have romantic feelings

  But it doesn’t quite make sense because here’s the thing:

  Children are fully capable of developing crushes

  Ever since primary school you can see kids giving love letters and choosing to hang out with someone because they have a crush on them. It’s true, at that age they don’t understand the concept of romance that well, but they can feel attraction towards someone. The amount of videos you can find of people talking about their childhood crushes are a pretty good proof of this, along with personal observation

  There are many opinions and interpretations on when can someone fall in love, but a general agreement is that emotions develop far sooner than cognition or other elements, and the problem that rises is how you should deal with emotions rather than you growing to have them

  Another thing is that body wise, Bart has the body of a teen. Beginning of the teen stage, to be exact, which is the time when hormones kick in

  And hormones are the thing that greatly influence a person’s love life, which is the reason why the majority of people start falling in love around that time, but Bart didn’t, because he frankly did not care

  And the few times he showed that he did can be interpreted as not actual romantic (or sexual) attraction, which is what I’m gonna delve into

  But before I do that, I need to address the elephant in the room, that being Flash: The Fastest Man Alive comic

  Which I have to say from the get go that I will not talk about it in this post because it’s not just an elephant, it’s a freaking dinosaur full of bad choices made by people from the DC team. I do have interpretations for the relationship from that series, but I can’t share those interpretations without addressing some things about the comic and stating my opinions, which… they’re not really positive. So, I will share them only if there are people interested in me talking about it or if someone’s trying to diss this headcanon by shoving this comic in my face like a sore thumb

  But I’m letting you all know that I’m aware of this comic’s existence, and still consider Bart as aroace with that series in mind. Cool? Cool

  Also, if there’s something that I missed by either forgetting or not knowing about it, do let me know! There are a lot of comics made throughout the years after all

  Anyway, let’s begin with the first relationship: Bart & Carol

  Which is actually one of the reasons why it would make sense for him to be aroace, since their relationship seems to be more like queerplatonic than a romantic relationship, at least on Bart’s side

  What is queerplatonic, you may wonder? To put it simply, it’s a relationship that doesn’t fall into a normal friendship, nor into a typical romance. It can have romantic elements, but overall it’s not read as a romantic relationship

  Here’s a 10 minutes video that goes into details about it if you want more clarification: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIMAca8iWoc

  And frankly, this is how they acted with each other. Or how Bart acted towards Carol at least

  In Impulse #20, there was someone else who implied that Carol had a crush on Bart, and when she kissed him, they both laughed it off and settled on being friends

  Now, I can’t fully say that Carol didn’t show any sign of crush at that time, but it’s safe to say that the speedster didn’t. Heck, there was a moment when she stood still and did the classic “falling in love realization stare” thing, and all Bart was thinking at that moment was flying birds because he was just hit with a ball in the eye

  Ah, I love this kid

  From that point, their relationship was not challenged until Carol got a toxic boyfriend. At that time, Bart showed displeasure not because he was jealous, but because Carol didn’t deserve to have such a bad boyfriend (which is clearly shown in Impulse #70). It came from genuine worry towards his bestie, and that worry got assumed to be romantic by the others, not him

  And only after that he started to think of them being together, which left him mostly confused

  And Carol was the one who initiated the relationship, while Bart was still uncertain about what he’s feeling

  This whole situation is interesting, because throughout the comic, Bart shows to understand the concept of love. What he’s showing is not really romance, more like confusion caused by having feelings that were not only friendship, and he takes it as romance when he’s pressed on by the others and told that this is what he’s feeling, which it’s developed from issue 71 to issue 75

  This pressure of being in a romantic relationship and not only friendship can be interpreted as amatonormativity. What is amatonormativity, you may ask? Well, it is described as such:

“Amatonormativity is a word coined to describe the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship.”  

Here’s a 14 minutes video that goes more into details about this concept: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYgniujXJNE

  But basically, because of the belief that everyone is seeking romantic relationships, some people have the tendency to consider that a feeling other than typical friendship has to be romance, and when you’re not familiar with other kinds of attractions like queerplatonic, aesthetic etc. or you’re not familiar on the concept of lacking romance/sexual attraction, you will fall to believe that what others are saying about yourself is true

  And this comes from personal experience. I’ve never sought a romantic relationship with someone, and when I was getting along with someone (or I was friends with a person of the opposite gender), the others around me told me that I had a crush on that person and even pressured on it. I didn't think it was true at first, because I just really liked hanging out with that person, I just liked being good friends and getting along well. But because what I was feeling was a little different than normal friendship, and I didn’t know about queerplatonic being a thing, I fell to believe that what I had were romantic feelings because that’s what I’ve been told from others, in a society where being in a romantic relationship was the norm

  So that’s why I think that Bart’s feelings were not romantic, because his behavior didn’t follow the romantic norms (even though he understands what romance is), and he believed that his feelings towards Carol were romance after he was told and pressured by others

  And his attitude after Carol leaving is interesting as well. In Impulse #78, he shrugged off the fact that they kissed and focused more on the fact that he misses her. Actually, from Bart’s side, there was little to no importance put on the fact that they were a couple in the time Carol left in a future timeline, and his sadness came from the fact that she wasn’t around him anymore

  And in Impulse #89, when Carol settled up on being friends, he was basically unphased by it. He was more that happy on being friends and he was just glad that she was back

  So, this can be interpreted as aromantic behavior, with Bart having an indifferent attitude towards romance

  Don’t get me wrong, I love Bart and Carol’s relationship, and it’s one of the healthiest and cutest relationships I’ve read in superhero comics. But you can’t deny that the way it formed and it was presented doesn’t quite fit with being a romantic one. At least, romantic from both sides

  I also have to make note on the fact that White Lightning, a character who has the ability to make men fall in love with her and follow her orders, admitted herself that her powers never worked on Bart

  This was in issue 76, when she tried to get away with a theft, and after she pulled out her charm powers Bart was quick to snap out of it (which it also happened in issue 80, thus showing consistency)

  So basically, from his main comic series I can easily interpret Bart as aroace, but what about the other comics? Well, in Young Justice from 1998, he showed no attraction towards anyone, so that one’s easy to interpret. It also has one of his most aroace moments ever:

  This comic is a treasure

  Actually, a lot of comics don’t have him showing attraction, which makes my analysis job way easier

  But, another notable comic that showed the potential of him having romantic feelings was Teen Titans from 2003, which this is where I’m gonna continue with my interpretation

  Okay, to start with a quick one: In issue number 2, when Bart told Cassie that she’s the one who made him like girls, the only possible explanation is that she’s the one who made him admire girls, especially since he then said that she’s Wonder Girl, which he also said those things to convince Cassie on not leaving the team

  Because otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense at all if it was supposed to mean that she’s the one who made him love girls. Because:

1. He didn’t show any romantic feelings towards Cassie in Young Justice 1998

2. He didn’t show any feelings that may be considered as romantic until his relationship with Carol was questioned

3. If he had a crush on Cassie after the events from Young Justice 1998 out of screen, the statement would still not make any sense because it would have been after Carol and Bart were a thing, so Cassie wouldn’t be the one who made him love girls

  If the writers tried to make any romantic implications there, they totally failed because of Carol’s existence from the Impulse comics. Because even if I interpret Bart’s feelings towards Carol as not being romantic, Bart himself is not aware of the possibility of being aroace, nor is aware of the possibility of his lack of romantic/sexual attraction. Because this is something that you can’t easily learn from reading books in early 2000s

  And now we’re going with the second relationship: Bart & Rose

  Which this one’s fairly easy because of how little it was shown/developed

  From Rose’s side, the only sign of attraction was in issue 11, where she admitted that Robin is not as cute as Kid Flash, aka Bart

  And from Bart’s side, the only sign of attraction was this from issue 12:

  Which is vague as hell

  Okay, let’s first go to the moment they initially met for a second, which was in The New Titans 1988. In issue 126, Bart asked for advice on how he can get Rose to talk to him, since at that time she had… some issues with communication, to say the least. When it was questioned if he had a crush on her, he rejected the idea and said that he doesn’t know what he’s feeling

  From the way he talks about her, it looks more like he has that kind of interest, or “zoning out”, that some people have over someone they feel compatible with, without necessarily having romantic feelings towards them (which honestly, I recognize this behavior from personal experience)

  It makes sense for him to want to get along with her and be friends, since compared with the other team members from that time, I would say that she would have been one of the closest to his age, and it’s easier to communicate and be good friends to people around your age. But I have to admit, this is more of a guess because the comics are very bad to keep up with the characters’ age continuity and in The New Titans almost everyone is drawn to look like a big or small adult anatomy wise, so it doesn’t help with figuring it out

  And after one failed attempt of him trying to talk with Rose, the comic didn’t focus on this dynamic anymore

  There was afterwards a comment from Tara that implied he had a crush at that moment. Once again, the romance implication came from someone else, and Tara only has the perspective of an outsider. Also let’s be fair, her attitude on romance is not… quite typical to say the least, or at least from what I’ve seen, so I wouldn’t take her opinion on someone else’s feelings as a fact

  And the things the comic presented are not strong enough evidence on the possibility of romance because it shouldn’t have been this… vague, or it should have been shown more than one single instance in this comic series (and believe me, DC is more than capable of showing more romantic moments between characters in order to ship them), but that’s just it. Plus, it makes more sense that in this instance the thing he wanted to suggest was for them to just hang out and listen to her, because he was following the advice he was given

  So basically, this subplot ended with Bart trying to befriend Rose, but he failed and it didn’t go anywhere

  And now, we get back to the moment from Teen Titans issue 12, which shows his current opinion on her

  The way he talks about her can be considered as more of an admiration than crush, plus genuine worry for turning into something unrecognizable to him. The term “kinda” also shows uncertainty in his emotions

  And in this comic (Teen Titans 2003), aside from these two instances from #11 and #12, it wasn’t shown anything between them until issue 18, where their versions from an alternate future were in an established relationship

  Which it can be interpreted as anything, because the only thing we know is that they were together. We don’t know how they became a thing, when they became a thing, and we don’t know the full nature of their relationship. We just know that they’re a thing, which is not even something certain for them, as we were told in issue 19:

  And after that, you know what came out of their relationship?

  Nothing

  It didn’t go anywhere

  The writers dropped that subplot as fast as they brought it up, and these two never developed into something more than friends

  After that, there are only two other notable instances that never got anywhere

  In issue 83, Bart made a one-time comment to Aqua Girl that he’s complicated but 100% available, which it was quickly brushed off and never brought up again, so there’s no point in interpreting that really

  And in issue 93, he showed an interest in a new girl named Kiran, of which Rose was the one who took it as a crush and nudged him to help the girl in order to impress her. And after that moment of Bart being excited about doing something for Kiran, this whole thing was brushed off and never brought up again. Like… that whole situation is strange because you can’t really take it as a romance, more like an admiration which was considered to be a romance

  The Teen Titans comic leaves me intrigued, because I’m left with the feeling that the writers wanted for Bart to be with someone, but it never got anywhere because they realized that it doesn’t work with his character, so anything they tried got quickly thrown away

  And in the current comics, after Bart came back from the Speed Force as Impulse again, he showed even less romantic interest than he did in the past. He actually didn’t show any attraction at all, with one exception that was made aware to be out of character in the comic itself

  That exception is from… Young Justice Dark Crisis, which I’m gonna try to do a brief description for context:  

Tim, Kon and Bart were trapped by a stereotypical gen Z fanboy in a version from their past as Young Justice, but that past was filled with all inaccuracies like homophobia, sexism, and more stereotypes (and the world being off was constantly questioned by Bart himself). That world also influenced them at some level, which led to Bart making an out of character comment about fake-Cassie fighting a woman with huge boobs up in the air in issue number 2

  This was explicitly made to be inaccurate to his character and to show more of the fact that this world is off. The only one who didn’t see it as something wrong (even though he showed at first a reaction of confusion), was Kon, which I would argue that this is out of character for Kon as well

  That whole comic is a big whole mess for different reasons not related with this post, but from that I can at least have more evidence on Bart being aroace. Yay, I guess?

  And with that, we reach the present of this post. Now the question is, do I think that the writers intended for him to be aroace? Not in the slightest

  Do I think that he’ll get into a romantic relationship in the future? Kind of, because the comic industry finds it popular to put their characters in couples

  But I have to make something clear: it is possible to be aroace and have a romantic or sexual relationship with someone, because there are many kinds of identities in the aromantic and asexual concepts. To put it in a different perspective, the terms aromantic and asexual are relatively as specific as the term homosexual

  This post is one interpretation based on one kind of being aroace that fits with the behavior Bart presented in the comics, and you can have your own interpretation that’s different from this one. Heck, you can even have your own different headcanon of his orientation, the limit is your imagination! If you want him, or any other character, to have an orientation similar to yours, you can fully go for it

  All I did was to use the canon to fit with my headcanon, but you’re not obligated to fully follow the canon. After all, if there are writers within the DC team that disregard things from the canon and change the characters in ways that don’t fit them at all without any reason whatsoever, what’s stopping you from doing your own thing for personal entertainment?

  As a final note, I’m gonna say this:

  Since Bart was in the DC Pride: Tim Drake Special comic, the only logical conclusion is that he’s also LGBT, and this applies to every other character presented in the comic/hj

  Have fun with that!

[legally-a-bastard]

Your tags on the post telling Biden voters to keep Palestine out of their mouths are so incredibly rude; you're doing exactly what they said not to. Saying that they aren't looking at the bigger picture? Trying to explain how voting works like everyone but you is an idiot?

It's clear the genocide and brutalization of tens of thousands doesn't mean shit to you. How selfish can you be. If you don't care about Palestine, at least have the dignity to not go onto posts like that to tell everyone you think you're more important than them.

fun fact. When someone puts something in tags. You don’t have to read them. Anyways,

Is it selfish to care about every life, and not just one group? my brother in christ I wasnt explaining things like I thought they were stupid, because then I would have CALLED them stupid. I was making a point that yes, there are so many better fucking options and I fully support. but there are also risks to them and that THAT is why people struggle with this fucking decision. Because there’s fucking nuance.

You are painting an image of me in your head that makes you mad because you want people to be mad at. You want people you can point at and cry wolf when it’s nothing more than a dog.

Putting the rest under a read more because the people who don’t give a fuck and decide that they prefer being only reactive, don’t even have to bother reading what I’m saying, they can just go ahead and block me right goddamn now. Because I’m not here to appease people and I won’t pretend I am.

I do care about Palestine. An incredible amount, actually. And I also happen to care about the citizens of my own country and other countries alongside it. And I was sharing my thoughts on a matter that can have far larger consequences than we’re fucking considering.

You are the person who cannot see the bigger picture because you think that just because people are drowning in an ocean, we shouldn’t also try to prevent and help people who are drowning in what comparatively might be a kiddie pool.

They are all drowning regardless, and I am of the belief that harm of any kind, not just one specific situation, should not happen at all.

Also, if you read the tags so thoroughly like you think you did,

you would have seen the part that says you can just block & ignore me if you didn’t like what I was saying.

and if you take such large issue with what I say, then you should’ve taken your ass off anon because this could’ve been just between me and you. But now it’s gonna be between everyone who sees it, because while I know not to feed the trolls, this troll has made me think that maybe I need to directly fucking say what I think should be fucking said.

if you refuse to comprehend what I say that is on you. If you get mad because of that, it is on you. If you continue to respond only REACTIVELY and not PROACTIVELY, that. Is on. You.

[awhitehead17]

Whumptober 2022: Day 2 - Nowhere to run

Prompt: Caged

Summary: Duke knew what he has getting into was crazy, however he didn't know exactly how insane it was actually going to be. Reality hits him when he’s captured by the cops and stuck with someone who’s ego is bigger than their actual height. 

A/N: This is based off a few scenes from the comic book ‘Robin War’ and serves kind of as a missing scene which I thought would be fun to write.

Enjoy! :D

Duke winces when the inevitable protests and exclamations occur.

“He what?”

“Are you shitting me right now?”

Duke raises his hands up in a placating gesture, “Hey, I’m only telling you what he told me! Don’t shoot the messenger.”

“You’re lying.”

Duke turns around to face the person he’s been ever so fortunate to be paired with while stuck in the metal contraptions as they are. He shakes his head. “I’m not. Why would I lie about something like this? Do you think I’m here voluntarily? The last thing I want to be is held captive by the cops.”

Out of all the people here, he had to be put with the little snot nosed runt didn’t he? If he hadn’t already disliked the cops before this, he certainly does now.

“He wouldn’t do that to us. Grayson wouldn’t sell us out to the cops.”

Duke rolls his eyes and settles down on the cold metal floor, resting his back up against the bars keeping them prisoner. “Sorry to rain on your hero worship but yeah, he did.”

There’s a beat of silence and it’s like Duke could feel the weight of the room on his shoulders. There's the occasional whisper from the other cages around them, others who have been caught in this crusade, teenagers, kids, wanting to do right and help out but have got caught in something much bigger than any of them could have ever imagined.

“Duke, tell us again what happened. What did he say to you.” A voice to his left gets his attention and he looks over his shoulder at the cage next to him containing the other two professional vigilantes. One of them with a red helmet and the other with the fancy looking wings on his back.

Sighing Duke turns his body so he could see the other cage and the runt he’s stuck with at the same time. He doesn’t trust turning his back on the kid for a second. He looks at the others through the bars of the cages they’re all trapped and reiterates his story.

“Once the cops found us, he told me they knew we were coming. Apparently he had a transmitter and was broadcasting straight to them right to that point. He claimed he wanted to train as many kids as he could and then control their arrests to make sure they’re all safe. Then he wanted to put his best men with them to make sure they stay safe. He didn’t tell you guys because he knew you wouldn’t agree. Apparently you wouldn’t understand. It’s his fault and his responsibility.”

Duke pauses shaking his head at the craziness of it all. He can’t seriously believe the situation he’s found himself in.

“As he jumps off the roof, he claims that he takes care of his family. And then the cops got me, he got away, and now we’re all confined to these cages several feet above the ground.”

He sends the other Robins a fake smile as he finishes the story.

There’s another pause as they obviously take in what their so-called leader has done to them. He betrayed them all, it doesn’t matter that he claims it’s for their safety, he’s still manipulated them and now they’re locked up because of him.

“I now know who I’m gonna hit in the face with a crowbar when we get out of this.” The comment comes from the one with the helmet and Duke sends him a look, apparently he wasn’t the only one confused. His companion also pulls a face as he looks at him.

“What?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Duke blinks and lets it go. Clearly there’s an inside joke or something there. He doesn’t want to know. His attention is soon drawn away to the runt he’s stuck with as the kid starts mumbling underneath his breath.

“He gave us up just like these pretenders…”

Duke turns to him, snarling “I heard that!” before turning to look down below at the floor where there are cops lingering around, pacing up and down. Their behaviour is suspicious and it’s making feel more uneasy than usual.

“Something is off though,” he comments aloud, “these cops, they’re waiting for something.”

When the kid begins mumbling to himself again next to him, Duke turns and eyes him suspiciously. He’s up to something and Duke has no idea what it is. Even the other Robins from the other cage knows something is going on because they instantly question him about it.

“You’ll soon be thanking me,” the brat cockily declares and that’s when Duke sees something in his hand.

“No!” He yells at the kid but it’s pointless because he’s already thrown whatever it is out of the cage and down below. There’s only a second or two pause before a loud hissing noise could be heard. Duke attempts to look down to find out what it is however because of the angle of the cages it’s difficult to see, it must have come from something directly underneath them. However he could hear an increase in voices and more footsteps, more cops must now be in the room with them.

A conversation is had underneath them and suddenly the cage containing the two pro-robins is moving, a loud humming could be heard and their cage begins to get lowered. The one with the helmet hums, “huh, the runt really did give us our chance.”

Duke has no idea what is happening but what he is a hundred percent certain of is that the next few hours are going to be totally insane. Once they get out of these cages it’s going to be hell on earth and he’s smack bang in the middle of it.

A/N: Image below is the cover art for the comic!

[treenissanderssidesstuff]

🧩 A theory you have

I keep forgetting what is and isn't a theory. But I can prove "intrusive thoughts" is a terrible descriptor for Remus to go along with my hijacking @typically-untypical's post if you want.

So this is gonna piggyback off of that Catharsis Remus post, which you should read before this for some context. As I said there, all of the sides but Janus (sorta) cause c!Thomas to have intrusive thoughts. Remus' brand of intrusive thoughts however helps restore a sense of control.

Anyone who makes dark jokes can probably relate to this pretty quickly. If you've ever been stressed about an assignment and said something like "kill me" because of it? That's Remus' brand of things. Making a joke like that makes yourself recontextualize a situation. Did you think about something dark for a moment there? Sure. However, that assignment that was stressing you out? Maybe it suddenly isn't quite so bad in the face of death. Just reminding yourself that there are technically other options and that doing the assignment for the betterment of your life is the one you're choosing is empowering. If you've laughed the joke off and felt a resurgence of drive? It's because you've re-centered yourself into a position of feeling control again and reminded yourself that whatever impossible task your facing doesn't have to be the end. The world isn't hinged on you doing something perfectly. You've made your problem small, by reminding yourself you're actively conquering a much bigger one just by being.

Okay, so now that I've given some context for what Remus' brand of intrusive thoughts are and how they're useful, let me explain how all of the lightsides have their own brand of intrusive thoughts that are both useful, but dangerous in excess.

Virgil: This one should be obvious. Anxiety is riddled with intrusive thoughts. "What if I go to the party and I make a fool of myself?" "I can't talk to that person, they'll think I'm stupid." "Is that person judging me?" "What if I can't do it?" Virgil makes c!Thomas think before he acts, which he needs we know he needs, but it can be crippling because it can make him worry too much and cause a paralysis of action. Virgil's brand of intrusive thoughts is thoughts related to a fear of what "could be." Accepting anxiety already contextualized his brand quite a bit. (Thanks Logan!)

Patton: Patton's got a one/two punch because he's morality and emotions. "Am I a bad person when I do something for myself?" "Do I deserve what I have? To be here?" "What about all of those talented people who are getting overlooked?" "Do I really deserve my friends?" "They're all so amazing though, they don't need me..." Patton's brand of intrusive thoughts is related to what "is" related to perceived expectations of people's opinion is specifically valued. He's the feeling of having to "deserve" what a person have in some way or downgrade achievements. c!Thomas' need to prove over and over again that he's actually trying and that he cares. It's a wonderful thing to want to help others, to show love and appreciation, but there is no "being good enough" if a person lets this type of guilt take over.

Roman: Roman's got that fear of failure, but in a different way than Virgil. It's more like failure induced stress. Virgil's the surface level anxiety about making a mistake, Roman's the deeper worry about not being enough that is only "proven correct" with every failure. "You didn't get/win [blank] because you're not talented enough." "You didn't work hard enough." "You should have done more, put in more effort." "You'll never match up to those other people, they deserve it." "Taking breaks is just laziness." Roman's intrusive thoughts are related to what "was" and perceptions connected to the past. He focuses on flaws and failures and causes c!Thomas to do the same. Each time a short term goal isn't met, is just fuel for that kind of self-hatred of not "doing enough." He keeps the dream alive, keeps pushing c!Thomas forward, but too much? And everything will feel useless because that self-degradation will stop being motivating and will start making c!Thomas feel inherently like a failure.

Logan: Logan's a bit of a tricky one because he's usually made to be the problem solver, but he's also had his own fair share of problems. Logan's issues are usually related to making he perceives as the "wrong" decisions. "If you had chosen a different career, you would be more stable." "People are laughing at you." "You're not acting like a proper adult." "You'll never be respected like this." Logan's intrusive thoughts are related to what "could have been," specifically an idealized version of that. It's easy to pretend things could have been better if a person had made different decisions, but different doesn't mean better. Having a job in science might have made c!Thomas appear more like a "standard adult," but would have he been happier? Probably not. If he thought at the time it would have made him happier, he probably would have chosen that path then. In some ways it can be good, because these kinds of thoughts can remind a person that there are other options if things don't work out. However, these kinds of thoughts pushed too far can make a person feel as if they've already ruined their life to the point of being irreparable, especially when their decisions go against the grain of normal expectations of society.

Janus: Janus is a little funny because he's a rule breaker (what else is new?) compared to the others. His focus is c!Thomas bettering himself, not to what others want, but to what he wants. There's no real outside stimuli related to him to cause intrusive thoughts. What he does do though, is make c!Thomas face the ones he has. He tries to breakdown the guilt, the fear, the shame by bringing it to focus and showing why it's wrong. It's the kind of thing that's painful to do in the moment, but also prevents you from hurting yourself worse. Actively explaining that you think your friends will hate you? It's uncomfortable. It hurts so much worse than passively believing it... in that moment. However, facing that perception is wrong? Prevents a lot of pain in the future of just letting yourself believe it.

And then we cycle back to Remus who in some ways, really is the garbage man, not because of how he presents himself, but because he forces c!Thomas to see what he's doing right by making him face the potential of a darker timeline and clean up the other's messes when they go to far.

[anika-ann]

In the Strangest Place (We Just Might Find Love) - Pt.2

Type: two-shot, pretty much canon

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 2750

Summary: You’re hiding from your boss in a supply closet, minding your own business, when a stranger joins you unexpectedly.

Steve is not entirely a stranger anymore; he knows about your troubles and you know about his. And he’s determined to sort out yours this very moment.

Warnings: mention of sexual harassment, a bit of angst, language, something that might be close to a panic attack if you squint

A/N: There we go... hopefully I’ll make mid-week a bit sweeter for some of you ;)

Part 1

“Alright, kids. Let’s have a trip.”

And you just stared.

…what?

“W-what?” you stuttered, suddenly consumed by the familiar feeling of losing the firm ground under your feet at the idea of trying to confront Gregory head-on. Not even Steve at your side was helping at all as the four of you started walking towards the IT department.

“I-I don’t have any prove! I can’t-- he told me he would--- that he would-”

“That he’d twist it around, convince the HR that you were crushing on him and he turned you down, which turned you into a soulless bitch craving revenge?” the billionaire finished for you and you just uselessly opened you mouth, unable to let out a word to deny it. It seemed to amuse him, because he scoffed; and there was something very bitter in that sound too. “Kid, he’s not the first asshole to take advantage of his superior position. I’ve seen the types. Relax. If Cap here believes you, then so do I. Plus, I know a liar when I see one. And you ain’t lying.”

You breathed in shakily, a flicker of hope igniting in your chest. Could it really be so easy? That couldn’t be right…

“T-thank you, Mr. Stark. I-”

“Yeah, yeah, just name your first kid after me,” Mr. Stark uttered, waving it off.

The Falcon next to you chuckled and you shot Steve a confused gaze. Was that how Mr. Stark usually was? You had never met him in person; you had only ever heard him giving a speech on TV and you knew he had a certain reputation, but this was… different.

You were surprised to find Steve watching you; perhaps he worried about your reaction to such bluntness, since he had seen your outburst in the closet. Upon meeting your gaze – probably shy and undeniably surprised – he charmed a tiny smile for you.

“It’s gonna be okay, see?”

“What are you even worried about? You have three Avengers coming with you!” Mr. Wilson questioned lightly and you bit your lower lip as you thought of the source of anxiety indeed.

Yeah, I have three Avengers and they are all men. Sue me for not being sure which side they would take – not until now.

“You’re not a full-time Avenger, Wilson.”

Falcon gasped, clutching at his chest theatrically at Stark’s remark. “Ouch, Tony. My heart.”

You let out a breathy laugh at their banter and felt yourself relax despite your better judgement. You almost let yourself believe it truly would go alright. Well, as much as dealing with such shitty thing could.

“You’re all my heroes,” you whispered timidly, which earned you a bright smile from Sam Wilson.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Cruel, Birdboy. You stole the old man’s line,” Mr. Stark hummed, amused.

“Heh! Sorry, Cap. But I’m sure you have a whole set of other lines to use on her.”

You choked on your own spit as Steve faltered in his steps, his grip on you growing stronger. What the hell did the Falcon just say?

“Oh my God, Wilson, shut up before we get stuck with another harassment report.”

“I don’t think this a subject for joking,” Steve interjected, slightly irritated, and you shot him a grateful look, because he definitely had a point.

Except… once you weren’t in such a sticky situation, you totally wouldn’t mind Steve Rogers using a line on you. Not at all. And his hand around yours felt nice for multiple reasons, the wordless comfort and support only being one of them. It was warm and slightly calloused, a reminder of his physical work, and it was bigger than yours, so sweetly and distractingly enveloping yours…

But now it was so not the time.

Your peculiar group approached the office and you didn’t even have the time to brace yourself as Tony Stark simply threw the door open, not bothering to knock.

“Thomas Ian Gregory, you are fired this very second,” the billionaire exclaimed dramatically.

You would think he was just being a drama queen, except he sounded deadly serious, using your boss’ full name which he must have read out on the door, and his eyes were throwing daggers at the man sitting behind the desk, looking as if he was the fucking king of the world.

Your boss blinked in surprise and eyed all four of you; Falcon with his arms crossed on his chest, Ironman minus his suit with a murderous glare and a hand raised towards him as if he wanted to point a finger and then Gregory’s gaze fell on your hand connected with Steve’s; you wanted to retrieve it quickly, but Steve wouldn’t let you, his grip growing firm. Anger flashed through your boss’ eyes for a second, before he composed himself and rose from his chair with an innocently confused expression.

You wanted to puke and you felt your legs turning into a shaking mess of jello. This was it. Now he would use his slimy words to turn this situation around and you were about to get fired and humiliated so much that jumping under a bus would be the most likeable option for you.

“Mr. Stark, it’s an honour. Captain Rogers, Mr. Wilson. What do I owe the pleasure?”

You couldn’t believe this--- this pig. Seriously. Who the fuck did he think he was?! How could he--- just lie so easily, pretending that everything was perfectly fine?!

But Tony Stark was not fooled by the charade and you mentally sighed in relief, sure they must have heard the weight falling off of your shoulders even in Jersey.

“I’m sure you heard me, Mr. Gregory. You quit and you’ll be hearing from the HR soon. And you’ll be damn lucky if this young lady right here won’t sue you.”

You honestly wished you were invisible when Gregory’s gaze flickered to you, subtle anger with a promise of consequences in his irises – consequences that would come should you not cut this bullshit right now.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, Mr. Stark. If this is about the unfortunate feelings my assistant has for me-”

Tears of rage and baseless shame stung in your eyes at his words and you breathed in sharply to defend yourself; before you could, Gregory continued.

“Though I can see they weren’t very… honest. Obviously my inferior seems to be the ‘love them and leave them’ type, which I should warn you about, Capta-”

Breathless at his malicious made-out theories, you did not expect Steve to drop your hand in favour to tower over your boss, making him shut up with one single glare.

Alright, you could see why he had thought that simply appearing at your office would make Gregory tremble in fear. Your boss actually backed off and learnt onto a table, looking as if he was supporting himself under the weight of Steve’s judgement.

“I met this woman for the first time not half an hour ago, hiding from you, too scared of your dirty hands to return to her own workplace. Trust me, it left an impression, just like you are leaving one now,” Steve grunted menacingly, causing your heart to pound in your chest in fright even with his words not aimed on you. “If I can give an advice, you pack your things as fast as you can, apologize to her profusely, begging for her forgiveness and you don’t set a foot in this building or speak to her ever again. Do we have an understanding?”

You weren’t the only one affected. Your boss tried to reciprocate Captain America’s glare, but he failed miserably. He visibly gulped and circled his desk, still watching the soldier as if he was expecting to get hit; then his eyes just dropped to his desk and he frantically started picking random things from it.

You watched the scene in front of you, paralyzed. Your heart was beating its way out of your chest, pulsing in your temples, your breathing alternating between hitching and picking up. Your vision started to swim.

Holy. Shit.

“Cap, I think you broke her.”

Steve spun to you at instant, his eyes roaming your face; or you thought so. He looked worried now; or you thought so. Thinking and frankly evaluating the stimuli your senses were receiving was a bit difficult at the moment.

What the hell had just happened?

Gentle hands took yours, leading you out of the room. You blindly followed, unsure how to put one foot in front of the other, your body running on autopilot.

It was over. Thomas Gregory was no longer your boss and it had happened without you losing your job. And Steve Rogers had scolded him as if he was a five-year old kid – a very pervert one, but a kid nonetheless. Steve put a fucking fear of God into him. All of that happening within three minutes. And you just… couldn’t quite process all that.

You barely registered getting into and out of an elevator, being seated on a couch, having a blanket tossed over your shoulders and a cup of warm liquid pressed into your hands. You automatically brought it to your lips, only to be stopped by a tender fingers curling around your wrist.

“Careful. It might be too hot,” a pleasant voice warned you and you blinked, finally focusing your gaze, finding rather worried and very handsome face staring back.

You glanced at the cup, surprised to identify the drink as Steve’s hand let go of yours.

“Is that… is that hot chocolate?” you stuttered, bewildered. Well, more like… astonished.

“Yeah. You’re not allergic to milk or anything, are you?”

You looked up back to Steve’s face, only to find him with his brows furrowed in concern, lips thoughtfully pursed. It snapped you to action.

“No! No. It’s just… I didn’t have one in years. Thank— thank you.”

His expression cleared, as he was evidently pleased with himself. “Good. You’re welcome.”

The words fell off his lips so easily. As if he just hadn’t… hadn’t saved your career. Or your mental health, really.

You eyed the table by the couch, setting the cup down, only to fully turn to him. He seemed a bit confused at that; but God, you had something important to say and since you didn’t want to give up the blanket just yet, you decided to get rid of the mug at least to look less pathetic.

“No, Steve, I… thank you,” you whispered sincerely, feeling tears in your eyes for like a millionth time that day. His smile widened a little.

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry if I… if I scared you down there. It wasn’t meant for you.”

“You didn’t-” you blurted out in attempt to deny it and make him feel better, only to waver as his eyebrow rose, picture perfect of doubt. It made you chuckle at yourself self-deprecatingly. “It’s not your fault that I was… surprised by your little hulk-out. I guess I just didn’t see it coming.”

“Hulk-out, huh? How do you feel?”

You shrugged, exhaling slowly, thinking hard about your answer.

“Like I just watched my life take a way better turn that I would expect... and I’m still only watching,” you whispered honestly, which led to his face twisting in a grimace.

“Anything I can do?”

You couldn’t help it; you scanned your surroundings, realizing you were in something that looked fancy enough to belong to Tony Stark and was way too big to be part of an actual apartment. You ran your hand down the blanket covering your shoulders, reaching for the abandoned cup to blow on it softly and take a careful sip of chocolate. Steve’s questioning gaze observed you while you did so and you smiled blissfully into the cup as the delicious rich taste caressed your tongue.

“You mean besides comforting me despite being a complete stranger, getting my harassing boss fired and scaring the hell out of him, taking me to--- here, giving me a blanket and making the best cup of hot chocolate I had in years? Give me a second, I’m sure I’ll figure out something else,” you babbled and Steve’s smile grew, tense shoulders relaxing. “Seriously, Steve. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I owe you. I- I know you’re a hero and all that, but… yeah. I should be asking you what I could do for you in return.”

“That’s not-- I’m not--- ...you make a pleasant company,” he said in the end as if he realized he couldn't deny any of the things you had listed. You lowered your gaze to the chocolate as his eyes twinkled at the statement.

“Ditto.”

“Does that-” he blurted out and you tilted your head to side, watching him curiously when he stopped talking just as abruptly. “This is a terrible timing, but that’s apparently an infamous quality of mine, because usually I wait too long, and… uhm…”

Your heart skipped a beat at the suddenly embarrassed soldier scratching the back of his neck, peeking at your through his eyelashes. Was that--- was he trying to-? No, it couldn’t be.

“Yeah?” you softly encouraged him to continue.

He wetted his lips, causing your previously tight gut to warm up.

“I understand that it’s the last thing you’re thinking about right now, but… when you settle down again... and things are a bit calmer for you… would you- uhm,  like to… maybe spend some more time with--- with me?”

If he had blurted the sentence in one go, you would have dropped your mug in surprise despite suspecting this incredible thing when he had turned bashful. But he didn’t so your brain had enough time to process the words slowly leaving his lips, one after another, little shy, little hopeful. Your heart was speeding up with each of them, ready to burst when he finished with a tiny nervous smile.

Well. How could you possibly say no to that irresistible creature in front of you? You smiled into your drink.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

His face lit up. “Really?”

You wanted to chuckle at the pure surprise on his face, but it was just too endearing and so you had to fight the urge to make an embarrassing sound like an aww instead.

“Yeah, Steve. I’d really like that,” you repeated, hiding the teasing note in your voice. “But you’ve got to teach me how to make a chocolate that good, because seriously, it tastes amazing.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” you demanded, a bit hurt, rather surprised. “I don’t want you to give up your secret recipe right away! Just… in time.”

He grinned at you boyishly, leaning a bit closer to you. You held your breath in anticipating, a the change. “I could. But then I wouldn’t get to enjoy the process of preparing it for you and your smile in return.”

You stared at him for few moments, taking the statement in, wondering if he was teasing you or was being serious. The corners of his lips were quirked up as if he was indeed joking, but there was a certain spark of honesty in his eyes.

You decided to play along, whether it was a game or not. Perhaps it was the relief of newly found freedom from a sleazy man in your life that plucked up your courage and woke up your jovial side.

“Aww, Steve, that’s so sweet. Is that your way of telling me you’re planning on spoiling me? Because then I would need significantly less time to… settle down.”

His grin widened at your words. “Is that so?”

“Mm.”

“Well then…” he brought up lowly, torturing you with anticipation when he didn’t continue, only to watch you with a mischievous smile.

“...then?”

“What are your plans for Friday evening?”

Oh, you were so glad you were sitting, because otherwise the force of the moment in which Steve Rogers asked you out on Friday night would knock you down.

You tried to think of an answer that wouldn’t sound like an over-enthusiastic YES, but his blue eyes staring into yours made it very difficult for you.

Dammit, it was harder to talk to him when you could actually see--- you smiled smugly at the idea that popped up in your head and raised an eyebrow in silent challenge.

“I’m hiding in a supply closet. Why, you wanna join me?”

Steve burst out laughing, throwing his head back with that sound and the picture armed your heart so thoroughly it was unfair.

“Sure thing. Would you like me to bring muffins and coffee or do you prefer an actual dinner?”

You found yourself laughing too and you suddenly believed that your life would indeed get better. It already had, after all.

S.R. masterlist

Beautiful divider by @whimsicalrogers 

Thank you for the kind feedback on the first part and I hope you liked this one too :))

Thank you for reading!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

I know you haven't really done many prompts for Empire SMP, but having seen Jimmy's perspective today, I really want to see him just talk about everything that's against him and I think it would be really fun to see him just breakdown with Pixl.

Lore-wise, Jimmy really has gone through the ringer.

he really has T_T someone pls save him

...

Pixlriffs is working on setting up some more candles around the vigil when he hears a noise from behind him. Immediately alert, he spins round, already pulling out his sword, but he freezes when he spots a figure half-limping towards him.

As he rushes towards the figure, he realises with a jerk that it’s his closest ally. “J-Jimmy?!”

The ruler of the Cod Empire is dishevelled and clearly exhausted, and instead of his normal cod mask, he’s wearing the brown llama mask that Pixl remembers giving him a few weeks ago.

Pixl reaches out to steady his friend, holding him by the arms. “Jimmy, what on earth-?!”

“Gosh, your empire is… is really out there,” Jimmy murmurs, his words slightly slurred. “In the middle of a desert. I’m so hot…”

With that, he collapses against Pixl.

“Jimmy!” he gasps, propping his unconscious friend up.

He manages to lift Jimmy onto his back and hurriedly carries him over to his home. He lays Jimmy down on his bed and hesitantly removes his friend’s mask.

He’s shocked to see a fairly fresh cut on Jimmy’s face from his left temple to the corner of his left eye. It’s not still bleeding but it looks untreated. Maybe from the last day or so.

Forcing himself to ignore that for now, Pixl fetches some water and an ice pack, the latter of which he applies to Jimmy’s forehead. Immediately, Jimmy lets out a quiet sigh and stirs slightly, though he doesn’t wake.

After about ten minutes of gently tipping sips of water down Jimmy’s throat, Jimmy’s eyelids flutter.

“Hey,” says Pixl quietly, giving his friend a soft smile. “Can you hear me?”

Blinking groggily, Jimmy frowns. “What happened? Where am I?”

“In my empire,” says Pixl. “Do you not remember?”

Jimmy lifts a hand to his forehead. “My head’s a little fuzzy.”

“I’m not surprised; you were pretty dehydrated. Do you have any idea how long you were wandering around in the desert?”

“No, not really.”

“Well if you walked all the way here from your kingdom, it’s a wonder you didn’t parch to death,” Pixl responds. “Why didn’t you use your elytra?”

“I wanted to walk as long as possible and then when I eventually tried to take off, I realised I didn’t have any rockets,” says Jimmy sheepishly.

Pixl chuckles. That’s so Jimmy. “Right, I see. Why would you want to walk all the way here, anyway? We didn’t have a meeting or anything, did we?”

“No, I…” Jimmy hesitates. “I just needed a break. And I wanted to see you. And I needed to be several thousand blocks away from everyone else.”

“Really?” Pixl frowns. “Are you okay?”

Jimmy hesitates again, before deciding to tell the truth. “Um… no. I’m not okay. A lot of stuff happened yesterday and I’d really like to curl up and cry right now.”

Pixl gives his friend a sympathetic look. “Tell me about what happened.”

“W-Well…” Jimmy sits up in the bed, taking a deep breath. “fWhip covered my nether portal in cobblestone so I told him to come over and clear it up but he used tnt to blow it up and then when I told him to fix the hole in the ground, he blew a bigger hole under the first one and then Scott and Gem showed up and I was hoping they might be on my side but apparently Scott actually helped fWhip make the cobblestone thingy so then I got really mad and hit fWhip with my sword but then he killed me and stole my Codfather mask and I begged him to give it back but he just flew off with it a-and I don’t know how to get it back now cuz Scott said I keep starting things I can’t finish and that even with my allies, I couldn’t hope to beat fWhip but I need that mask back Pixl I can’t-.”

Sensing Jimmy’s rising panic, Pixl quickly grabs Jimmy’s shoulders to stop his friend. “Hey hey hey, shh. It’s okay, Jimmy. Shh.”

Jimmy lets his breathing settle, clearing his throat as his voice cracks. “Wh-What’s wrong with me, Pixl…?” he whispers. “Why am I such an easy target? Is this all because I stole stuff from Sausage so early on? Do I deserve all this?”

“No, Jimmy,” replies Pixl immediately. “fWhip is being a bully, and bullies always have their buddies backing them up so they feel stronger. First it was Sausage, now it’s Scott.”

“I just… I just don’t understand. I thought Gem and Katherine were my allies but Gem is now fully on fWhip’s side and Katherine pretends she’s on everyone’s side but she always seems to back up the person who isn’t me. Who do I have on my side?”

“You’ve got me, you’ve got Joel, you’ve got Lizzie.”

“I do trust Joel and Lizzie, and you of course, but… I-I’m just kinda expecting everyone to leave me if another alliance offers something better. And I wouldn’t even blame them.”

Pixl pauses, casting a brief look at the walls surrounding him. “...well, I’ll never leave you.”

“I-I don’t think you can realistically promise that,” Jimmy responds dejectedly.

This reinforces Pixl’s resolve. “I’m doing it anyway. You need an ally you can always count on, and I will be that ally. No matter what, Jimmy, I’ll stick by you. I know my empire is a long way from yours but if you ever need backup again, send me a message and I’ll drop whatever I’m doing and fly straight over.”

“Really…?” Jimmy stares at him with hopeful eyes. “Wh-Why would you do that for me? Aren’t there better, stronger empires out there you can ally with?”

“Frankly, yeah, there are. But I don’t care. It’s not all about power.”

Jimmy scoffs.

“It’s not,” Pixl repeats. “Power gets you through a war, sure, but wars aren’t the only things empires have to deal with. You’re a kind and fair ruler to your subjects, Jimmy. Villagers, animals, everything. You always go the extra mile to ensure their comfort and safety, and in this world, that’s a rarity. Power really isn’t the only thing that matters. It’s one of the biggest, but that doesn’t mean you should be counted out just on lack of power. That’s why you find yourself a powerful ally, right? And I like to flatter myself that I’ve built up a pretty powerful empire here. Maybe not fWhip-level powerful, but strong enough to defend us both if a certain tnt-crazed empire comes calling.”

Jimmy gazes at him. “Would you really put your empire on the line for my fights?”

“Of course.” Pixl gives him a kind smile. “That’s what allies do.”

“...Pixl, I…” Jimmy can hardly muster any words to express his emotions. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. All we need to do is take care of each other and we’ll be okay.”

“Pix…” Jimmy is almost completely lost for words. He’s never had someone show this level of dedication towards him before, especially considering they haven’t known each other very long. “A-Anything you need, Pix, anything at all, just ask.”

Pixl’s smile falls as his eyes flicker up to the scar on Jimmy’s face. “Actually… I do have a question. How did you get that scar on your face?”

“Huh?” Jimmy’s hand automatically moves to touch the jagged line on his forehead. “Oh. This. A, um… a piece of debris from fWhip’s second tnt explosion got me. Nearly got my eye, actually.”

“It looks bad. Untreated.”

“Yeah, I… I’m not so good at first aid and I did ask Scott and Gem if one of them could help me clean it but they refused.”

Pixl’s eyes widen. “They what?!”

Jimmy nods sadly. “They made some excuses and left. Scott said it didn’t look that bad and I could deal with it myself. I looked at it in the river and I also didn’t think it looked that bad.”

“Gosh.” Pixl shakes his head disapprovingly, a deep frown on his face. “That’s… That’s so terrible.”

“I-I’m sorry,” whispers Jimmy.

“What? No, not you. I can’t believe Scott and Gem would leave you when you were clearly hurt. Do you have a first aid kit back in your base? And your food situation: do you have enough food? What’s your diet like?”

A little taken aback by the sudden questions, Jimmy hesitates. “I’ve, uh… been eating fish, mostly. Cod Empire, you know.”

“Any potatoes? Carrots?”

Jimmy shakes his head.

Pixl scrutinises him. “Right, okay. Jimmy, you’re gonna stay with me here for a while.”

“A-A while?”

“A few days. You’ve been through a lot lately; you need someone to take care of you. I’ll get that wound treated for you, show you around my empire, and make sure you get some nutrients in your diet. Do you have a potato farm?” Before Jimmy can reply, Pixl continues, “Nevermind, I’ll get you enough potatoes to either get started or improve it, whichever. You need to keep drinking water, though; you’ll get dehydrated really fast in the desert.”

He pauses as he registers the smile on Jimmy’s face. “What?” he chuckles.

“Nothing.” Jimmy averts his gaze, though his smile remains. “Just… thank you. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to have you on my side.”

Pixl smiles back and squeezes Jimmy’s shoulder.

“I’ll always be on your side, Jimmy. Always.”

[fantastic-bby]

SKZ vs. being embarrassingly drunk

Pairing: Reader x Member 

Word count: 3k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Spending a night out with the boys and they get absolutely hammered (and cuddly)

Warnings: Alcohol usage

A/n: 1. Pls drink responsibly 2. Anon I’m so sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoy it ^^’

Masterlist

Chan

Probably wouldn’t let himself get drunk drunk

Like he knows how to have a good time 

He just wouldn’t get all CRONKED 

Or at least he would try to avoid that 

BUT 

There’s a big but 

He strikes me as someone who has a low/moderate alcohol tolerance 

Which means that if he really doesn’t watch how much he’s taking 

This man would end up flying into the next dimension

So in the situation that he does end up getting cronked 

He probably would be clingy or quiet 

Would hug onto you like a koala 

Would also end up being embarrassing  in his mind he’s doing perfectly fine

“(Y/n), you’re reeeeeeeally pretty” 

Ofc you’d just giggle at him 

You’re aware of how Chan doesn’t really let himself go like this 

You find it so amusing but you know he should probably drink water or smth so he doesn’t end up throwing up in the bathroom 

“Drink water, Channie” 

“No!”

-_-

“I don’t need water, (Y/n). I have youuuuu”

Chan wraps his arms around you and kinda smooshes his face into your arm

And as much as you love how amusing it is 

He hasn’t drank water since he started drinking alcohol

“Channie”

You slide the glass towards him and he shakes his head like a child

Of course he has to be stubborn when he’s drunk 

“Drink water”

He sticks his tongue out at you 

Now you’re >:( bcs you don’t want anything happening to him!! 

“Drink the water, Chris”

The moment he hears his English name it’s almost like he sobers up a bit 

“Why are you so scary?”

He wouldn’t admit that when he’s sober 

But he’s scared of you only because you have the tendency to be strict with him when it comes to taking care of himself 

You’re the only person that he honestly listens to when it comes to caring for himself but he would NEVER admit it 

Bcs admitting to that means admitting that he likes you c: 

Chan listens 

He drinks the water and he smiles when you smile at him

“Good job, Channie” 

The praise makes him give you a toothy smile while he wraps his arms around you again and pulls you into a hug uwu

Minho

Seems like he would get cronked on a normal Tuesday evening bcs he can 

But I think Chan mentioned once?? That they actually don’t like alcohol?? Don’t quote me on this pls I could be wrong

Anygays 

Minho would probably just be really flirty or might become more dry 

Like he would roast people more than usual if he gets cronked 

“(Y/n), you should drink more, you lightweight”

But you know he’s joking 

Would pretend he isn’t flustered 

Tbh if he gets flustered while he’s drunk 

It’s not like anyone can tell bcs his face might be red as hell

“(Y/n), do the shots”

o_o

“I have to drive you guys home”

“Noooooooo, you have to drink with meeeee” 

Minho grabs onto your hands and he starts tugging you closer to him 

Kinda just grabs you and pulls you until you fall into his lap 

“Let loose, baby” 

Wow okay 

o_O 

“We can always get someone else to drive us home”

O_O

He pushes the shot glass towards you 

And you’re just staring at him like uhhh…

The reason Minho wants you to drink with him is lost in his wasted ass mind 

But he just wants to make sure you don’t remember anything that he might end up telling you

Like if Min accidentally confessed to you c: 

But he can’t really tell the difference between sober you and drunk you when he’s absolutely wasted out of his mind 

“I think you’re really nice, (Y/n)” 

“You’re nice too, Lino”

“Nonononono”

He shakes his head as he pushes you back so that you’re sitting straight and pulls you towards him so that he can hug you

“I think I like (Y/n). But you can’t tell them that” 

Oh no 

“(Y/n)’s always so pretty and cool looking”

“Minho”

“Nooo sshh I’m not done talking yet” 

You just look at him like :| bcs you know that when you tell him about this in the morning, he’s gonna be embarrassed and start whining about why you didn’t give him water

Which you actually tried to do 

Minho just 

Decided he didn’t want any water -_-

“Do you think (Y/n) likes me back?” 

A whole ass cutie 

You laugh and smile 

“Definitely” 

Changbin

This man 

I had input from some of my other friends 

We all collectively agreed that this man is a TANK 

And by ‘tank’ I mean he would not get drunk easily 

Could probably take Changbin like a shit ton of shots before he starts to feel anything 

So if he gets drunk drunk 

He might end up being a bit more wee woo than usual 

And by ‘wee woo’ I mean that he would be completely off the fucking rails excuse my language

But I feel like since Binnie’s more of an extrovert anyway, if he were to get drunk then 

Well

He would be even more of an extrovert 

Like he would be going WILD 

So if he was embarrassingly drunk and you just happened to be his crush 

“(Y/n)!!!!! (☆▽☆)” 

His face is red, his shirts |  | this close from coming off, and his beanie is lost under someone’s ass because he threw it off before he started dancing on the bar

“Bin, get down before you hurt yourself”

He looks down at you w his head tilted and this grin on his face

You have to admit his eyes are sparkling like you’re the most interesting person in the room and it makes your heart bust the fattest uwu

“Come on!” 

He doesn’t give you a choice 

Changbin’s climbing down the bar and taking your wrist to drag you towards a less crowded area 

“Dance with me!” 

His hands are holding yours respectfully while he sways you’re actually keeping him up bcs he’s stumbling all over the place

“Binnie, be careful” 

He almost trips and you have to hold this hunk of a man up 

He giggles tho and pokes at your cheek

“You’re so cute. I’ve spent so long wanting to tell you that I find you so cute!”

Now you’re blushing like a mess 

“You shouldn’t drink so much, (Y/n). Your face gets super red!”

:|

Yeah blame it on the alcohol when you haven’t even drank a drop

“You need water” 

Luckily for you, Changbin obediently follows you to the bar so you can get him water 

He gulps it down almost immediately and you panic slightly because he might choke

But he’s fine when he puts the glass down 

For a moment he turns to you and his eyes widen 

Like he’s sobered up and he realises what he’s done

“Oh god—”

“More drinks for the entire bar!” 

You look towards the voice 

Surprisingly it’s Chan 

You turn back to Changbin and he’s already on his fifteenth shot of the night -_-

Hyunjin

A FLIRT!!!

If he’s already a flirt now 

Alcohol would just increase his flirting to a BILLION 

I hate him and his perfect face and his perfect dancing and his perfect hair I HHHHHHHHHHH

Hyunjin strikes me as someone who would either be more moderate to high tolerance w alcohol 

So he would probably be better at holding his alcohol than Chan is but not as much as Changbin 

But this man OOF he probably also just starts dancing like a madman when he’s drunk and also flirting with everything he sees 

He might even flirt w a chair but that’s just me bullying him at this point

I feel like he would only get hammered on nights when he either needs to relieve stress or when he knows he doesn’t have anything important the day after 

So it’s like a weekend, Hyunjin’s chilling with the gang, he’s drinking 

You know he’s pretty much gone when he slams his shot glass on the table and turns to you 

“(Y/n)... you are… amazing”

You stifle a laugh but you don’t say anything bcs you see that he’s still going 

“You’re like… godly… I can’t believe you’re driving me home…”

His eyes are barely open btw that’s how hammered he is 

“I can’t believe I’ve never told you this before”

“Mhm? What is it?”

“It’s a secret”

He moves closer towards you and smooshes his face against your shoulder

Hyunjin opens his eyes a bit more and they sparkle when he sees you 

“I like you”

“Aww”

Your heart’s actually beating a million a minute bcs you’re certain he’s confessing to you

But you wanna brush it off as just him meaning it as liking you as a friend

“No, you don’t get it. I like like you.” 

“Huh”

“I never wanted to tell you because I didn’t want anything happening to our friendship”

“Hyunjin…”

Aaaaaand he passes out 

(;¬_¬)

Now what do you do

He’s snoring now 

Oh god 

“Jinnie”

You shrug your shoulder lightly to wake him up and his head snaps up to look around 

“Huh”

“I think it’s time to go home”

Of course, when you take him home, you leave water and advil on his bedside table 

You also make a mental note to ask him about his confession in the morning 

But Hyunjin’s too cronked to have a proper conversation so you’re honestly not even sure if he’ll remember the whole thing :|

Jisung

Might retreat to himself 

I don’t know where exactly Sungie would be on the skz drunk spectrum

But it’s probably low to moderate so maybe around wherever Chan ranks

When he’s drunk he’ll probably cling onto someone he’s comfortable with 

Just so happened to be you 

Jisung’s usually quiet when he’s drunk because he doesn’t like talking or he feels too lazy to actually talk 

But he’s hugging your arm like a koala when he puts his eighth beer bottle down onto the table

Everyone else left to dance except for you, Jisung and Jeongin 

Jeongin’s pretty much bordering passing out beside you while Jisung doesn’t seem to be leaving your side anytime soon

“Sungie do you wanna go dance with the guys?”

He shakes his head like a stubborn child and only holds onto you tighter 

“Okay”

You pat his head and he leans into your touch when you do 

God he's so shdjdbdje a aDORABLE

"Sungie, do you want some water?" 

He nods silently and you slide the glass towards him

He drink the water without a problem but then turns to you

"You’re like an angel" 

Jisung’s lips are kinda pouty as he looks at you with half-lidded eyes 

“You alright?”

He nods before leaning his head against your shoulder and curling up closer against you 

“You’re warm” 

(���♥‿♥｡)

“Do you wanna go home now?”

“I wanna cuddle with you” 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You tilt your head and Jisung only looks up at you with a slightly bigger pout 

“(Y/n), I wanna cuddle with you” 

You give him water and he almost spills it drinks it

“(Y/n)! Come on and dance!”

It’s Minho

He’s pretty much pissfaced 

But Jisung shakes his head furiously and almost pops your arm with how tight he’s holding on

“Don’t go!”

You turn to him and your heart almost bursts out of your chest with how cute he looks 

So you turn back to Minho

“It’s okay, Min. You guys have fun”

“I don’t want you to go anywhere”

Jisung’s voice is softer now and you’re pretty sure he might pass out soon

That’s when you decide it’s time to head home 

“Let’s take you home, Jisung”

“Are we gonna cuddle?”

“We can do whatever you want once we get back” c: 

Felix

Super giggly 

There’s two outcomes to drunk Felix 

Cuddly Lix 

Or ready to party Lix 

I feel like he falls on the lower end for alcohol tolerance 

Wouldn’t be surprised if he gets hammered after just a few shots 

But also wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to control his alcohol intake for the sake of staying sober 

In the chance that he does get hammered tho 

He would be a giggling mess 

“(Y/n), drink drink drink!” 

Lix pushes the bottle towards you and you laugh bcs you’re supposed to stay sober for the night 

“I can’t drink tonight, Lix”

“Nononono! Someone else can drive us home! We can always call a cab!”

You give him a look that tells him that you really shouldn’t and it gets him pouting 

You pat his head as a silent apology just as you turn around to see Changbin and Hyunjin playing with the empty bottles

Immediately you’re like AA WHAT so unfortunately you have to turn your attention away from Felix to stop the rest of your friends from getting kicked out of the bar

Felix gets even more pouty 

Because he wants your attention! 

Because he likes you and he’s wondering why you’re giving everyone else your attention! 

Felix becomes quiet 

His intoxicated state makes it easier for his mood to dampen he typically wouldn’t be so open about his feelings

But now he’s all sad and pouty and watching you stop his friends from trashing the entire place 

And he only thinks 

Give me attention!!!! 

So he starts tugging on your hand 

“Hold on, Lix. CHANGBIN”

He retreats into his seat and sulks 

 When you turn back to him he’s just watching you with his brown eyes all sad looking 

“I’m sorry, Lix”

“Hmph” TT

You pat his head gently until he leans into your touch and finally returns to holding onto your arm 

Seungmin

Idk why but he’s part of the higher alcohol tolerance line 

Probably up there w Changbin 

I genuinely don’t know why but I feel like Seungmin holds his alcohol really well

But I also feel like he’s among the line that tries to stay away from actually getting really really drunk unless he knows that he can let loose 

So if he’s like cronked as hell

It would probably be after about eight or nine shots 

His face is all red, he’s just kinda stumbling all over the place and trying to convince you that he can walk in a straight line 

“(Y/n), I’m totally fine, I promise”

“You just tripped over a whole table…”

It takes a bit of convincing but he finally lets you guide him from the bar to your table he tried to push you away at first but then he almost fell over

Seungmin almost immediately falls into his seat 

When you sit next to him 

He squeezes closer to you and throws his arm over your shoulder 

“(Y/n), you have to spend more time with us”

You give him a silent agreement by nodding your head because you know that if you open your mouth you’ll probably end up laughing instead 

“I don’t know why I’ve never told you this, but I like you a lot”

HUH 

O_O

“Minnie, you’re drunk”

You try to tell yourself he’s just spitting nonsense because he’s drunk 

But at the same time 

He probably wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t true because he’s drunk

“Nooooo, you don’t get it”

He shakes his head and moves closer to you 

“I’ve never told anyone this, but I really like you. You’re really cool and you’re really pretty and I don’t know why I’ve never mentioned this before”

“Hahaaaaa…”

“I’m so glad that you’re drunk because then you won’t be able to remember this”

“Seungmin…”

How are you supposed to tell him… 

“It’s okay, (Y/n). I don’t think I’ll remember this either when I wake up.”

You just watch him and try not to giggle because he’s cute, but your heart’s about to break through your chest from how hard it’s pounding 

How are you supposed to bring this up in the morning without embarrassing him 

But you can’t just ignore it either 

“Can you take me home please? I think I’m done for tonight”

You’re surprised he actually has the mind to tell you that he wants to go home before having more shots, but you oblige anyway

The conversation of his confession can wait until the morning 

Jeongin

Feels like he’d be more on the quiet side 

Maybe he’d be slightly more giggly and excited 

But I feel like he’d just be clingy and quite kinda like Jisung 

So he wouldn’t want to leave your side either ^-^

But he’s also this |  | close to passing out in the bar

You’re there to drive him home but you’re also there to make sure he doesn’t get hurt while he’s there bcs Jeongin would be super stumbly 

You hold onto him bcs you’re paranoid and you’re worried 

Part of you knows that he would most likely be fine 

But he’s a smol child so you’re just making extra sure he won’t get hurt 

Might get a bit reckless too will tell you he’s fine

He’s sitting beside you while you try to make sure he doesn’t wander off on his own like Minho has and no one knows exactly where in the bar he is

“(Y/n) can we go to the arcade?” 

You turn to him and he has these soft pleading eyes that just make you go AGH (♥ω♥*)

“Not now, Innie. Maybe tomorrow”

Oh no

HE’S POUTING NOW 

You go into mild panic bcs you’re worried he might get sad 

But instead he smiles lazily 

“Don’t worry, (Y/n). I’ll wait until tomorrow” ^-^ 

“As long as I get to spend more time with you, I’ll wait”

AWWWW 

“We can spend as much time as you want, Innie.” 

His smile only grows and he leans into you

“You’re always so nice to me”

Jeongin’s smile becomes cheekier 

He giggles and closes his eyes 

Leans his head on your shoulder

“Innie, are you tired?”

He nods silently 

“Do you wanna go home?”

He nods again

And looks up at you

And he has the brightest, sparkliest puppy eyes as he looks at you 

Your heart goes BOOM BOOM BCS HE LOOKS SO CUTE AAA ╰(´⌣`)╯♡

“Let’s go home, Innie.”

[strawberryjamsara]

Idea for a yttd no death game au that I may or may not write

-Joe is dying and Sara is frantically pushing at the button trying to stop him from succumbing. Everything seems bleak. Then she wakes up with the reveal it was a dream. Gin is shaking her awake yelling that Kai made chocolate chip pancakes and to go downstairs.

-Keiji is also down there, looking like he just woke up. Sara makes a snide comment about his eyebags, and he retorts that she doesn’t have much room to talk after she just refused to go to bed last night. Kai just serves breakfast with several one liners and Gin makes a comment about how he’s glad Kai is around because Mr Policeman and Muscle Gorilla can’t cook. Keiji takes offense to this and offers to try and make a side dish and about ten seconds in cuts himself on the knife. He gets the shit roasted out of him. Qtaro comes down looking pretty good and proceeds to see all the food is gone and gets roasted. All is well and good but something is bothering Sara.

-She meets up on the school path with Joe, Ranmaru and Anzu and they all begin teasing Ranmaru and pointing out his crush on Sara. At one point Anzu and Joe walk ahead and Ranmaru asks Sara if he can talk to her in private some time soon. Sara agrees then goes up to Joe and Anzu to loudly tell them that Ranmaru is gonna confess. Ranmaru protests loudly.

-She has a good day at school. Professor Mishima has always been her favorite teacher. However he says the old assignment Sara was working on got lost so she’ll have to start again. Sara agrees and accepts his apology, as well as his offer for an extension, and begins trying to recreate her old painting but comes to the realization she doesn’t remember what her last painting was.

-To amend this, she tries calling up Nao after school, since she remembers doing a lot of the piece with her. But strangely, Nao doesn’t seem to remember either. Nao offers to come up with a new painting if Sara comes over though, and Sara agrees. But before that her meeting with Ranmaru.

-She meets Ranmaru behind the school where he asks if she had a weird dream last night. She’s surprised and is about to say yes, but a sinking feeling arrives in her stomach at the idea of acknowledging it. She tells him no. So he says okay and tells her she can leave.

-She comes to Nao’s house and finds the usual scene. Reko is keeping to herself, Alice is lounging around before loudly announcing her presence when she comes in, and Nao is excited to see her! When coming up with a theme they toss ideas back and forth before Sara just suggests… a button pressing. She doesn’t know why. She just wants to. Nao doesn’t see a problem. Sara goes to give Reko a wave out before she leaves but she seems to be in a crabby mood. Alice explains it’s because of Samurai Yaibas concert getting cancelled due to an unexpected meltdown whatever that means. Sara offers to go shopping downtown with them on the promised day to make up for it. They agree and Sara is on her way.

-Sara is trying to go to sleep at night but the lights down the hall are still on so she storms to Keiji’s room to tell him to go the fuck to sleep it’s 1 in the morning. Good night Keiji.

-The next day, her and Joe are being sent together to babysit Kanna and Hinako after school. During school, Anzu asks Sara about her confession from Ranmaru and Sara just informs her of the conversation from yesterday. Anzu gasps and makes cries of Ranmaru playing with Sara’s heart, and Ranmaru tells her to calm down and more shenanigans ensue as they make a bigger and bigger scene.

-Joe is sent to pick up Hinako while Sara is out in charge of going to the Tsukimi’s and waiting on Kanna. Shin is pretty much already halfway out the door trying to get to work when she gets there, and she makes a few jokes at his expense but then feels a need to back off at how hard he recoils- usually he claps back twice as hard. Maybe she caught him on a bad day- and Joe comes in with Hinako who seems to have a new habit of writing everything that happens down. They watch She ra and play pretend well into the night and Shin comes back, thanks Sara and Joe profusely, and they even play a quick game of Mario Kart together, Sara taking note of how squeamish Shin is.

-Sara wakes up to see the lights are on again. She stomps to Keiji’s room again but this time she sees him hurriedly putting away a theory board when she comes in. She doesn’t know and she’s too tired to care. Goodnight Keiji.

-Ranmaru is absent from school the next day. Anzu and Joe are complaining loudly, but Sara for some reason feels a deep pit of dread in her stomach. She excuses herself trying to call him but gets no response. So she pulls Joe aside and tells him she had a dream he died and the last one on one conversation she had with Ranmaru was him asking her if she had a weird dream. Joe agrees that’s kinda weird and they decide to go around looking for answers.

-But first Reko Alice and Sara hangout! They go shopping downtown, and eventually stop at Mai’s bakery to sit down and eat. Throughout the trip Sara notices Reko being uncharacteristically mean to people they run into. Sara questions this before Alice replies that she’s always been like this and Sara must be remembering wrong. Sara can’t help but feel like she’s had this conversation before. On the bright side, Samurai Yaiba got rescheduled and Sara is invited. She gets 4 tickets, one for her, one for Anzu, one for Joe, and one for Ranmaru. She goes back home and tries to speculate on the personality shifts between Reko and Shin.

-It’s Sunday and time for Sara and Joe’s investigation! They meet up at her house, where they play with Gin and chat with Qtaro and Kai, then go off looking for leads, starting with Ranmaru’s apartment which is completely vacant. They track a few leads that go nowhere the final being that they know he would sometimes try to go and start shit with Kurumada so they go ask him and see him talking with Shin and Kanna, so they ask him and Shin for information. They don’t really have anything, and Shin actually says he’s looking for Hinako since she got a little far from him in a crowd. They agree and track her down writing notes again, and explain the situation, but Sara picks up one of the notes. “‘The case for Ranmaru Kageyama’? ‘A non-termination request’? What is thi-“ then she feels a shock at her back and falls over. “Sorry Sara senpai. I’m doing what I can.”

-Sara wakes up back in her room the next day. Was that a dream? She eats breakfast again tuning everything out, remembering how the scene went last week and then she remembers what bothered her so much about last weeks breakfast.

-Keiji didn’t bleed when he cut himself.

-Ranmaru is back in class the next day. Sara runs up to him trying to get answers out of him only to realize he hardly knows her and thinks she’s just a random classmate he’s never talked too. She yells to Joe and Anzu to snap him out of it but they seem to share a similar sentiment. She’s totally lost.

-She goes up to Mishima and asks what her previous art piece she was working on was. He says he doesn’t remember. That’s between her Nao and her own teacher not remembering. What is going on? How could they just forget? Did someone just erase it? Mishima asks if she’d like to see the nurse and she agrees.

-Until she sees the nurse. It’s her. She looks meek and quiet but the second Sara sees her her stomach drops to her shoes. She has to get out of there.

-She runs home- Keiji- Keiji had that theory board, he was saying something about her refusing to go to bed for some reason, and he went cooking to show her he didn’t bleed- he must know something-

-She finds the house empty. She calls for Kai and Gin and Qtaro and Keiji but nobody comes. The theory board- she runs to Keiji’s room and finds it- dolls- AIs- wait what? Everyone here was dolls and AIs? Was she…? She takes a pin from the board and pricks herself but she bleeds… so was everyone else… was this a box meant for her? Why?

-Then suddenly it slams into her brain like a freight train. She remembers what the previous version of the painting was.

-A sea of death. A pool of crimson with her standing above it, like she was somehow walking on top of it.

-“Ah… that’s another attempt miserably failed.”

-She turns around. She sees him. She doesn’t know him and yet she despises this person like mad. “Midori!”

-“You winning the game wasn’t supposed to be so much of a pain. Putting you in this glorified simulation for therapy is so much more trouble than it’s worth, but you were so hysterical otherwise we didn’t have a choice! And Hinako insisting we keep in people who keep cracking the code… we might have to do something about her too… but that’s nothing for you to worry about! Now go to sleep Ms Sara! When you wake up, everything will be fine again.”

[cosmicjoke]

Ah, chapters 113 & 114 of AoT, and I’ve only got one thing to say.

Zeke, am I supposed to be feel sorry for the bitch?  Well I DON’T.

No, seriously, fuck this guuuuuuuuy, I know I keep saying it again and again, but God damn, if these two chapters didn’t just solidify my hatred for the bastard.

First of all, he is just... the most whiny, delusional, self-pitying pathetic loser, just... he really is.  I feel like a character in a Peanuts comic strip every time he opens his mouth.  All I hear is “whaa, whaa, whaa”.  And his delusions of grandeur would almost be funny if they weren’t so pathetic.  

Here’s the thing, alright, and I’m sorry if I’m going to offend any Zeke fans with what I’m about to say, but too bad, I guess.  

Everything out of this shitheads mouth is a lie.  And just because he’s convinced himself of his own bullshit doesn’t make the lies coming out of his mouth any more true.

He turns Levi’s fellow soldiers into Titans.  He does this without remorse.  Don’t try to tell me Zeke felt bad about it.  He didn’t.  You know how I know he didn’t?  Because in his private moments in the immediate aftermath, he mocks Levi over having done it, gloating about his supposed master plan of using Levi’s compassion against him and utilizing it to ensure Levi’s own demise.  Zeke’s entire attitude here is sickeningly unbothered, unburdened, uncaring, and smug in the EXTREME.  He mocks Levi’s compassion, literally makes fun of it and lambasts it as a pathetic sign of weakness when he says “I know you’re a caring leader.  Your soldiers haven’t done anything wrong.  They’ve just grown a little bigger.  You wouldn’t, say, slice them to pieces over that, would you?”.  This is Zeke making fun of the fact, finding AMUSEMENT in the fact that he’s just murdered 30 people who have never done a single thing to him, and reveling in what he thinks is a victory that will lead to Levi’s own death, reveling in having taken advantage of and weaponizing a better man’s kindness and compassion.  Zeke is ENJOYING this moment.  Just like he enjoyed killing all those soldiers in Shinganshina.  And then, the kicker, and this is a particular point about Zeke that just makes me absolutely sick, he pretends to himself as if he didn’t want to do it.  He PLAYS at his own regret, saying, “I didn’t want do this either,” and yet in the very next breath, continues to treat what he’s done with grotesque flippancy, saying “Still, how sad... There wasn’t even a battle or skirmish.”  Gloating over how easily he’s bested Levi and his men, before going on to sink further into his insane delusions of grandeur, blaming their inability to trust one another on Levi’s inability to “understand”.  I’m sorry, Zeke, but no.  You didn’t even TRY to help Levi understand, too wrapped up in your own egotistical god-complex to consider it a possibility.  ‘Oh, only I could possibly understand, along with Eren, the great task we two special beings have been burdened with.  He makes assumptions about Levi’s life, about the kinds of things he’s seen and experienced, and convinces himself that they couldn’t be anything like what Zeke has (which, hilariously, is all wrong, since out of everyone, Levi knows better than anyone else in the SC what it’s like to be treated as a second class citizen).  Zeke just assumes Levi couldn’t possibly ever grasp the complexities of the outside world, and so that’s why Zeke didn’t even bother trying to talk to him.  Blah, blah, blah.  No, Zeke, you didn’t share your stupid ass plan because you wanted to continue to feel special, like you’re the chosen one who gets to decide the fate of an entire race of people.  The most hilarious part of this entire sequence is when Zeke is thinking Levi couldn’t ever understand the concept of all the world’s militaries bearing down on Paradis at once, and what that means, couldn’t grasp the urgency of the situation, as if ZEKE HIMSELF isn’t completely fucking responsible for that situation in the first place.  Zeke literally engineered it.  He created the problem, and now wants to position himself as the savior.  He’s just such a loser man.  The God damned definition.  

And as if all of that wasn’t bad enough, when it turns out Zeke’s plan to take Levi out failed miserably, and Levi comes after his sorry ass like a bat out of hell, Zeke continues to mock Levi, to laugh at what Levi’s just had to do in order to survive and pursue Zeke.  He says “Where’d your adorable little men go!?  Don’t tell me you killed them all!  The poor things!”.  Are you fucking serious?  Zeke’s behavior here is one of the most sickening things in the entire story, bar none.  The way he laughs at Levi here for having to cut down 30 of his friends and comrades, the absolute display of sociopathic glee and disregard for the severe, horrific trauma he’s just caused this man, is honestly shocking.  Man, I’m sorry, but anyone who sympathizes with Zeke over Levi after this display maybe needs to reevaluate their moral compass, because it’s damned broken.  And just as an aside, Zeke’s cowardly fear of Levi is also pretty damned funny.  He’s just such a bitch./

We go from this perverse display of psychopathic megalomania into Zeke’s backstory, and again, I’m sorry if I’m gonna offend any Zeke fans here, but to all of that, I ask, so effing what?  Oh, boohoo, Zeke’s mommy and daddy didn’t shower him with praise or spend any time playing catch with him, and somehow, I guess, this is meant to excuse his attempts later in life to commit mass genocide.  Poor, poor Zeke.  Yes, his childhood was sad, he experienced neglect from his parents for two whole years, was used by them as a pawn for their idiotic plans, and ended up disappointing his father when it turned out he had no real talent.  And again I ask, so what?  This sort of experience isn’t exactly what one would call unique, or even extreme.  There are countless children in the world who go through the exact same thing in various forms.  Parents who put too much pressure on their kids to succeed, parents who try living vicariously through their children, parents who make their disappointment known and even punish their children for failing to live up to their expectations (something Zeke’s parents never did, by the way).  The point is, this isn’t even what one would classify as extreme hardship.  It’s a sad story of a child being neglected and not receiving enough love from his parents.  This isn’t to undermine the very real pain one experiences from those things.  Not at all.  That pain is real and legitimate.  But it’s also fairly common and pedestrian, as far as childhood trauma is concerned, and it doesn’t even remotely begin to justify the extreme lengths of megalomaniacal, sociopathic, genocidal tendencies he later displays.  Also, Zeke also had his grandparents, who did love him and spent lots of time with him.  He had Mr. Ksaver, who played with him and acted as a mentor to him.  It wasn’t like Zeke had no one and grew up with zero connections.  That’s BS.  

Levi calls this bitch on his shit later in chapter 114, as Zeke’s muttering away in his delusions about how he’s “saving everyone”.  He asks Zeke “That was your plan?  Mercy killings?”.  Levi’s asking Zeke here who the hell gave him the right to decide who lives and who dies?  Who gave him the right to decide who’s life is WORTH living?  When Levi says him getting to die by being eaten by a Titan is pretty merciful, considering he stole the lives of so many of his comrades, Zeke’s reply speaks volumes about just how warped and demented his thinking is, when he says “I stole nothing.  I... saved them.  Them and the children they would have... I saved them all... from this cruel world.”.  He’s literally justifying murdering countless people by trying to redefine that murder as “saving” them.  It’s not murder because it saved them from ever having to suffer again!  He’s absolving himself here of his sins by casting his actions in not just a favorable light, but trying to sell them as heroic and admirable.  He takes no, actual responsibility for what he’s done.  He removes himself from that responsibility by pretending he was doing a good thing, an honorable, noble thing, by murdering a whole bunch of people who’d never done jack shit to him.  Yippee for Zeke, I guess.  He’s the very definition of an ego-maniac, of someone suffering from a messiah complex.  He’s insane, and morally depraved.  The very fact that he’s the one who comes up with the idea of eradicating the Eldian race by rendering them infertile is only further proof of this.  What teenager comes up with a plan to exterminate an entire race of people and thinks it’s a good idea?

Right before he blows himself and Levi up, he screams “I’m hope you’re watching, Mr. Ksaver!”.  He’s indulging in his own, fanciful notions of himself as the “chosen one”, as a unique person who alone is capable of delivering humanity to salvation.  He’s showing off, asking Mr. Ksaver to watch him as he “saves the world”, because all he cares about, really, is making himself feel special, of fulfilling what he’s deluded himself into believing is his destiny, his right to decide the fate of the world. 

And then he almost kills Levi in the process.

I swear, I wish Levi had just chopped his shitty head off right then and there.  No one can blame Levi for chopping the bastards legs up like he did, for being so angry.  It wasn’t just that Zeke had killed so many of his fellow soldiers by turning them into Titans, or tried to kill Levi by turning them into Titans, it’s also how Zeke laughed about it, and laughed at the pain he’d caused Levi, treating all of it as if it was worth nothing, and then having the unmitigated gall to cast himself as the hero bestowing his benevolent mercy on all.  Give me a fucking break.

Fuck you Zeke.  I hope you rot in hell, you dumb shit.  

Also, fuck you to Floch too.  I hate that bastard almost as much.

[yamagucji]

How they treat their injured s/o

em request. “hey uhm i sprained my ankle badly today and i was wondering how tsuki, sakusa and tendou would do when they found out that their s/o sprained their ankle because im feeling really single nowadays and your account is the only way for me to not feel single fjfjdjd but uhm i hopw you can add in some speckles of angst ✨✨ ofc there should be fluffs to hehe” -anon

pairing. tsukishima x gn!reader, sakusa x gn!reader, tendou x gn!reader

note. i didn’t get to work on this as much as i wanted to bc i wanted to have it out in time! i hope you still like this all the same </3

Tsukishima

“how clumsy”, he’ll say, with a taunting look on his face

yes this beanpole is gonna tease you for it to hide the fact that he’s mildly worried

he’d just keep teasing you to no remorse tbh😿 until he sees you limp/wince in pain

ohhh that’s when he drops the act

if he’s a distance away from you and he’s holding something, he’d quickly set it down and come your way

“ow,” you wince, grabbing ahold of the wall beside you

in a flash he’s right next to you, getting a firm grip of your waist so as to anchor you

“h-hey, take it easy,”

oh so you care me now😾

you sigh in frustration, “since when did you care?”

he’ll look the other way but bring you against his chest, pouting at the fact that he’d been pointed out

“i’ve always cared... idiot,”

“now let’s put some ice on the pain,”

“...okay y/n?” 🥺 mayhaps you’re forgiven

he’ll set you down on a chair and go to look for an ice pack

and he’ll come back in a matter of a few minutes, with not JUST an ice pack, but some snacks and maybe even a pain reliever (if you take them)

“here, no- no, let me do it”

you’ll attempt to do it yourself but he takes the ice pack away from you and instead does it himself

so he’s on his knees tending to your injury, choosing to caress your skin with his thumb

“...how are you feeling?” 🥺💓

and if you say you’re feeling better, he’ll reward you with a genuine smile and maybe even a kiss on your temple

“that’s good to hear, i’m glad”

but if you’re still slightly mad at him from before? he’ll apologize in his own tsukki way

Tendou

aw bless this boy

when you come to him he’ll notice something’s wrong judging by your actions

he tilts his head, “everything okay?”

and as you’re telling him what happened, he’s already got you seated down on a chair and inspecting your injury

“hmm, doesn’t look that bad. but we should treat it incase it gets any worse, okay?”

he’ll get up and leave a big smooch on your nose, probably looking for medical supplies/ice pack as he’s humming a tune

ah he’ll probably hum something along the lines of, “my s/o is injured... and that’s no good... it’s time for their boyfriend to save the day” ok idk how to write lyrics mk

he’ll come back to you with another kiss, “stay still babe, i’m gonna take care of you,”

🥺🤲 hand in marriage rn

he’ll stay with you and force you to rest because he “wants to get better as soon as possible so the two of us can go on little dates,”

he’ll stay... until one of his friends hit him up to ask him to practice or hang out

“ah... sorry but i’ll be back, i promise!”

wait what happened to taking care of your s/o 😐

so he leaves you and spends the next FEW hours away and completely unaware that he’d broken his promise of taking care of you

so when he comes back and sees you limping your way to grab something from the shelves, he feels absolutely guilty

“oy, what are you doing? you should be resting!”

“well i was trying to get this... but i couldn’t ask for help since you weren’t here” 🥺 yes bub speak your truth

best believe he’ll try and make it up to you the rest of the day

he’s been promoted from boyfie to personal butler 😌 jkjk

Sakusa

you don’t tell him about the incident and instead pretend to act like everything’s fine

because it’s... sakusa kiyoomi. it’s natural to think he’ll be very indifferent about your injury or just not be sympathetic :(

so when he meets up with you for the day, he’s completely oblivious to the pain in your body

though, he will notice the fact that you’re walking a bit slower

with slight irritation he spoke, “can’t you walk a little faster? what’s up with you today?”

h- hhhng can he at least sugar coat it😔

“oh... sorry omi! guess i was just a little space out haha” and you force yourself to take bigger strides despite the pain

it resumes to that quiet, peaceful walk, with sakusa staring straight ahead of him and absolutely not noticing the mild limps

until... you trip on the ground, that is

you can’t see it behind his mask but he’s definitely grimacing

“how clumsy can you-” he hissed (not literally😭) until he saw you whine in pain

he takes his hands out of his pockets and hesitantly helps you up, even brushing the dirt off of you yes the sakusa did that

“i’m sorry omi... i wasn’t looking where i was going,”

“tch, forget that. are you okay? why does it look like you’re in even more pain?”

so you go to tell him the truth, leaving the act altogether

“are you serious?” 😾 “why didn’t you just tell me?”

you can tell he’s slightly frustrated with the situation, but that’s only because he feels bad that you don’t trust him enough to care about you

he ditches whatever plan the two of you had and brings you home. he’s mumbling in irritation, all the while keeping his hold on you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself even more

now... be prepared to be pampered with extra care AND be scolded at the same time

sir am i your s/o or your kid,,, pick one 🧍/🧍‍♀️

yk😳 it’s a good time to take advantage of him while he’s going all soft for you

“um... omi?”

“hm?”

“can you kiss it better?” 🥺🤲

he’ll look at you with bored eyes, but it contrasts with the blush that’s on his face

hesitatantly, he’ll run his fingers over your cast and give it a peck

“there, is that better...love?”

call me weak or whatever but that was by far one of the most loving kisses ever given

[flightfoot]

If anyone wants to read a fanfic focusing on Alya’s problems and feelings, centered around her as a person, I HIGHLY recommend “can you keep a secret?” by euphorickiri. 

It starts off looking like it’s mostly just gonna be interested in shipping Alyadrien (which it DOES do very effectively), with early chapters having a good portion of the plot be driven by Alya suspecting that Adrien’s Chat Noir and wanting to spend more time with him, find out more about him in order to become sure of it.

But even then, even as early as chapter 1, you get to see that there’s more going in with Alya than you’d normally see in such a fic. That she can’t get herself to post to the Ladyblog after the Lady Wifi business, that people at school are treating her differently after being akumatized, along with going over her current issues with her friends and family, things that are shown and develop more and more as the series goes on.

In chapter 1:

Nino was her closest friend besides Marinette. They bonded quickly over their mutual love for comic books and have only grown closer since then. Often when Alya felt like she couldn’t talk to Marinette, Nino was always there to lend an ear. This was happening a lot more recently than she wanted to admit. She didn’t know exactly what was going on, but Alya wasn’t stupid. Marinette was hiding something from her. Something big. She showed up to school half-asleep most of the time and when asked to hang out she came up with every excuse in the book to avoid going. There were even certain times she would just disappear without telling anyone. It seemed like it was taking a huge toll on her and Alya didn’t want to add to that burden. So she plastered a smile on her face for her best friend and supported her in any way she could. Still, she couldn’t help but be suspicious about what was going on.

She hated how much Lady Wifi took over her life. She pretended not to see the dirty looks people sent her, ignoring how hurt she felt. Nino was right. They weren’t themselves when they were akumatized. But that didn’t mean everyone sympathized with akuma victims. And she was no exception. Even Chloe was wary around her now. Chloe . The most fearsome person at school. So Alya preferred not to talk about it at all. It was just something else she had to deal with.

She wasn’t weak. She wasn’t . She could handle herself.

And with chapter two, it starts laying the foundation of her family situation.

“What do you guys want?” Alya asked tiredly.

“Breakfast,” Ella replied. “Can you make chocolate chip pancakes again?”

Alya ran a hand over her face and looked over at her alarm clock, relieved she had a decent amount of time to get herself and her sisters ready for school. Her parents worked during the day so it became Alya’s responsibility to look after the twins. Make sure they get to school, pick them up from school, feed them, dress them - everything. It could be draining, and as much as she loved her sisters, they were still kids who acted out and refused to cooperate at the worst times. But if she didn’t look after them, no one else would. Her parents, especially her mom, were too engrossed in their work. The one time Nora did come home to visit, Ella and Etta didn't know who she was. That’s how long she’s been gone.

So, this was Alya’s burden to carry. Alone.

“You guys have to eat something other than pancakes every morning,” Alya scolded, reaching for her phone. “I’ll make oatmeal with some fruit instead.”

As the story goes on, Alya’s family situation with her parents fighting and using her as a go-between while pretending everything’s alright, with herself being her younger sisters’ rock, becomes a bigger part of the story and necessary background to the emotional struggle Alya goes through, informing a lot of her character and why her thought process is the way it is.

The rest of the day consisted of Alya trying to get Marinette to speak with occasional assistance from Nino and Adrien. Nothing worked. The only person able to get a reaction out of her was Juleka. The other teen waved passing their table during lunchtime and Marinette waved back. And as worried as she was, Alya couldn’t help but be a little annoyed. There have been days where all Alya wanted to do was yell at anyone who dared to approach her. But she never took it out on Marinette or anyone else. But here they were, the situations revered, and Marinette wouldn’t even look at her . What made Juleka the exception?

No one wants you.

Alya pushed her tray of food away, her appetite gone.

She almost pulled her hair out when Miss Bustier told everyone to sit with their partners during their last class of the day and Marinette bolted out of her seat. Alya tried to hide her irritation when she saw Marinette and Juleka talking out of the corner of her eye as if everything was normal.

“Remember your projects are due tomorrow! I’m giving you the entire class period today to finish up,” Miss Bustier announced. “I’m very excited to see your presentations!”

Adrien slid into Marinette’s empty seat. “We need to find a couple more pictures for the poster but other than that we’re good.”

“I agree.” Alya glared when Marinette laughed at something Juleka said, not paying attention to his words. “We should do that.”

Oh? So quick to replace me? She tensed up as her own words mocked her.

Marinette rested her head on Juleka’s shoulder. Don’t worry, you’ll always be my number 1 partner. You’re irreplaceable.

Wrong. You’re disposable .

Alya’s feelings and emotions are validated by the narrative, even though she has the wrong idea about Marinette replacing her. 

Lady Wifi plays a big role in the story as well, since she’s not actually gone, and serves as a kind of embodiment of Alya’s negative emotions and worst impulses, as well as a looming threat. The tension between her and Alya helps accentuate the emotional heart of the story.

Alya also gets to disagree and talk things out with Ladybug and Master Fu, when she doesn’t agree on their handling of situations, though with them not being demonized in the process either. 

Just... if you want to read a fic focused around Alya’s problems and emotions, but that treats everyone else well too, that gives her a lot of agency and also a lot of support, I HIGHLY recommend this fic.

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (2)

pairing: taehyung x f reader

genre: horror au, yandere au, saw/john kramer au

synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughs, abusive relationships, stalking etc. dont read if triggered. there are some ?? fucked up things in this but idk what to word them. but also mentions of self harm/self hating thoughts.

wordcount: 2.2k

a/n: unedited so pls forgive me for any mistakes and lmk if u want to be added to a taglist^^

series masterlist

part one part three

You’d spent a couple of hours in the café with Taehyung. Jimin popped over every now and then to talk with his best friend and to make sure you had everything you needed while there.

When you left, Jimin wrapped his arms around you as he bid his farewell, “It was lovely to meet you Y/N! Please, don’t be a stranger!” You simply nodded your head as you pulled away from the hug. You grinned back at him as he moved to Taehyung. You opened the door, carefully stepping outside to leave the boys with some privacy.

Once the door shut Jimin’s smile beamed, “so she’s the girl you’re always talking about, Flower? Right?”

“Yeah she is, thanks for that though man but, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you later?”

Taehyung smiled as he made his way towards you, you looked up and he swore, he saw a hint of nervousness in your eyes, probably because it’s dark, he thought to himself. “Come on then, let’s get you home.” He held out his hand, you were quick to grab a hold of it. Taehyung intertwined your fingers as he tugged you back across the road, “it’ll take about twenty minutes, you gonna be alright to walk?” he glanced down to you.

Your heart warmed at the way his eyes smiled with him, “I’ll be fine, thank you.” He seemed happy enough with your answer as you fell into a steady rhythm. You felt a little conflicted, you may not know Taehyung well but he had an energy about him that made you wanna spill every secret you knew, you’d shared pointless stories while you were at the café, having learnt Taehyung was a family oriented person, he loved art and he was passionate about little subjects other people would deem small. Yet he had a warmth that you’d not seen in anyone else.

Fuck it, you thought, he’s shown nothing but kindness, you may aswell open upto him… atleast.

“I was in an abusive relationship.” Taehyung felt himself smirk but quickly wiped it from his face, he arched an eyebrow as he looked down to you, “it was my first too. It left me, fucked up, in a way. Not that I wasn’t already fucked up.” Progress. He squeezed your hand in reassurance, go on… “I’ve always been insecure and uh, uncomfortable with the way I look. After that disaster of a relationship, it left me worse for wear.” you kept your eyes on the road, you didn’t want to see the judgement on his face yet it didn’t stop you from carrying on, “I never told my friends or family about it. None of them knew I was struggling before it anyway so I’ve been letting it tear me apart.”

“Why tell me then doll?”

You risked a glance at his face. There were no traces of judgement or pity. Swallowing down your nerves, you added softly, “I had to tell someone. Even if that someone is a random person— who showed me kindness when I needed it.”

Taehyung felt his heart clench, she’s already trusting me… this was easier than I thought. “Don’t feel like you need to tell me anything baby,” I already know it all.

You felt your cheeks burn from the pet name, how could something so simple, affect you this much? God, talk about a schoolgirl crush. “That’s the thing, I don’t feel like I need to. I just, I want to.”

Taehyung presented you with his boxy grin, “Then you can tell me anything you want, whether it's big or small.”

“Thank you Taehyung.” It was like the sun had shone down on you, the simplest gesture meant the world. Here you had a person willing to talk to you about your darkest secrets. A person willing to listen. Someone who had no ties to your family, which made it easier for the words to flow from you, “It’s like, I was this happy, care-free kid. I smiled without forcing it and when I laughed… I felt free. I didn’t feel like I was losing my breath. Not like I do now, everytime I do so much as breathe, it's like these roots have twisted around my lungs and everytime a breath escapes, they crush them tighter. It’s like a reminder. You’re never fully alive. You’re never fully happy. Pain overrides any other emotion. I’ve learned that, after all those years. I used to think, I’d never accept it.” A solemn silence fell over you. The roots squeezed your lungs even tighter as you whispered, “I’m scared of living.”

“Flower, some people are anchored to this world by their feet, others by their fears. You don’t have to voice it, I know you’re scared. You have your fears. Your demons. The thing you were doing at the cafe; is destructive. Anything that harms you, is destructive. Fuck, it may only be something as simple as picking your skin but that can lead into bigger things.”

It already has.

“Taehyung, I know that. I knew when it started but it helps, it lessens my anxiety. You’re the only one to have picked up on it. My friends… they don’t notice. If they do, they don’t mention it.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?”

Your mouth was sewn shut. You didn’t want to admit it but, there was some truth to his words.

You walked home in silence.

That night haunted you. It forced its way into your dreams. It clouded your thoughts when Yoongi and Hoseok were with you. When you’d spent time together, you were vacant. A soulless body. It was like a poison had found its way into your brain, second guessing relationships and people’s motives.

‘You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?’

Why were you letting it get in your head so much? You knew your friends. They were the only ones you felt safe with. They were your friends for a reason, they supported you (albeit sometimes they had a sense of… tough love) but they always had your back.

You didn’t mention Taehyung to Yoongi or Hoseok. You felt as though that was something that should be kept between you and him. Plus, the duo would’ve felt betrayed and upset by the fact you had wandered into foreign territory alone and found company in a complete stranger-- especially after they’d warned you about the whole Jigsaw shit.

To save the arguments, you went about your life as usual. You helped out your Mum with the flower shop, the array of flowers made you realise how the simplest things were beautiful. That of course, didn’t include yourself. Rancid thoughts clouded what was once, a tranquil space. Those god forsaken roots hadn’t lessened. Breathing was still difficult— as was pretending that you were absolutely fine.

You avoided mirrors, a quick glance could wreck your entire mood. You hated people taking photos of you, it made you scrutinise every single thing.

My nose is too big.

My chin is too round.

My face just shouts ugly.

My legs are disgusting.

My stomach is embarrassing.

My boobs are weird.

Not to say, you didn’t have these thoughts on the regular. However, the more you eluded your appearance, the voices lessened. You could ignore the way you looked, forget it completely. Often convinced yourself you were a plain person. The stereotypical norm: someone that no one would look twice at. It helped you get on with everyday tasks, it helped you ease the anxiety.

After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

But how would you react? If you knew, he had all the pictures of you?

Tuesdays you worked at your Dad’s garage. You didn’t know much about cars but you enjoyed his company. As well as spending time with Hobi and Yoongi. You often found yourself pranking the former with Yoongi, little jokes that luckily, didn’t piss Hobi off too much.

Today though, you were late. You’d had to spend more time trying to find the more appropriate clothing… you didn’t want people to see the slashed lines of red that littered your body.

After you messily threw an outfit together, you made your way down to the garage. You found your eyes trained on the silver Nissan Skyline, mouth agape as you collided into something.

You felt hands grab your shoulders, “Watch where you’re going,” Yoongi brought his hands to ruffle your hair, “gotta be careful while we’ve got that here kidda. That fuckers expensive.” He released a chuckle as you rolled your eyes, softly elbowing him out the way.

Your dad was under the bonnet, a box of tools were scattered around his feet. Organised mess, your Dad was infamous for it.

“Sorry I’m late Pops, what do you want me to do?”

Not even a second later, your Dad turned to face you, “Ah darling, not a lot while we’re working on this. Can you go make us some drinks?”

“Yeah course, I won’t be too long!”

You passed Hoseok on your way to the little kitchen situated at the back, he sent you a wink as he shouted across, “Coffee for me kidda!”

Three cups were spread in front of you. Americano for Yoongi, Coffee for Hobi and Cappuchino for Pops. Just as you were about to shout the guys, a presence had situated itself comfortably behind you. Before you had time to turn around, a deep baritone voice addressed you, “You not gonna ask me if I want a cup baby?”

You felt yourself still. You knew that voice. The voice that was haunting your dreams, even your wake.

You really think anyone on this planet is your friend?

Taehyung watched the way your body tensed, your shoulders stiffened, your breathing altered. Hm, she’s nervous. How cute.

“What are you doing here?” the words passed your lips, delivered as though they were encased in thorns.

A deep chuckle filled the room, “What do you think I’m doing here?” Taehyung inched closer, the atmosphere was almost palpable. You felt the way his chest brushed against your back, a sudden chill shot through you as he brought his hand up— which grazed against your skin whilst he moved your hair from your neck. His eyes turned hungry at the sight of your goosebumps. Your heart raced when he brought his head lower, lips next to your ear, “You think I’m here for you baby?” I am… but you don’t need to know that just yet.

You spun around, squashed between the table and Taehyung. Heat radiated off of him, how can he be so hot? It felt like you were in a furnace (while face to face with the Devil.)

Fear stricken, you tried to fight through it. Don’t show him. Don’t let him see. With a sarcastic smile plastered on your face you retorted, “Of course you are Taehyung. You tracked me down using the information I gave you and figured out which Garage is ours.”

The sarcasm was practically dripping from your tone like venom. Taehyung felt himself stifle a laugh.

You just didn’t know. In all fairness, you didn’t know anything. How would you know that Taehyung had done exactly that, except he’d done it months prior.

He lowered his head to yours, your hands raised to push him away but Taehyung wrapped his fingers around each wrist and tugged them to lay between you before you even had the chance to nudge him. You felt like you were stuck in a Venus fly trap.

“I’m not some type of sicko, doll.”

You were just a naive, misunderstood, little girl.

“I’m getting my car fixed. Your dad’s working on it right now.”

Your body visibly relaxed, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Oh, the Skyline? Wait, you have a car and made us walk back to mine the other week?”

“I didn’t make you walk for the fun of it baby, my car is literally in the shop so obviously it was broken.”

Only, the car was perfectly fine when you met him those weeks ago. He had made the pair of you walk so he’d have more of a chance to speak to you and to touch you. The only way he could follow you around without being suspicious, especially at your dads work, was to have a somewhat reasonable excuse (which resulted in him messing with the engine). He knew although you’d shied away from him that night, he could easily win you back around.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Taehyung. I’m also uh, sorry about how that night ended.”

“Don’t sweat it, I know what I said came off a little... weird but I didn’t mean any harm.”

With an angelic smile on your face in return, Taehyung knew that soon, that smile would morph into a grateful one. After all, he was going to help you.

Until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Live or Die.

Your choice.

He had first seen you out and about last year. However, he had first heard of you when the guys working for him had slammed a file onto his desk, Subject #13 was scrawled on the top. Filled to the brim with pictures of you and everything about your life down to the littlest detail.

L/N Y/N— D.O.B 03.11.02— 19 years old.

Phone number: XXXXX.XXXXX

Female. Lives with parents at: 171 Norm Street, Falfield F91 7DW. Was outcasted at school but befriended a Jeon Jeongguk [19 years, male. 92 Carriers Road, Cressage CY5 3EA. XXXXX.XXXXX].

Ex partner is Kang Jaehyo. [23 years. Male. Abusive and manipulative, laid his hands on Y/N multiple times leaving bruises and scars. Sexual abuse was also discovered. Have been broken up for 4 months. 13 Walkers Drive, Falfield, F73 1DL XXXXX.XXXXX]

Y/N has suicidal ideations (as well as 7 attempts). Self harms by “cutting” “punching” and “scratching”. Diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder on May 13th 2016. Works at Toret Garage and Letty’s Floral. Both places owned by parents.

The web of lies and deceit had barely scraped the surface.

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

[supercorpkid]

The date.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Lillian Luthor x Granddaughter!Reader

Word count: 2202.

“MOOOOOOOM!” You open your bedroom door and stick your head out just to yell. You leave it open and go back inside looking at your entire wardrobe on top of your bed.

“What’s going on?” Lena walks in two minutes later and looks at the situation of your bedroom. “Oh my God, what happened here? A hurricane?”

“Far worst.” You complain sitting on your bed, about to cry. “I have a date with Maya.”

Lena looks at you confused. You’ve been having dates for weeks now.

“A real date. In a restaurant.” You add, pointing at yourself. “I can’t go looking like I’m a fugitive who just robbed a bank.”

You get a chuckle in response, which makes you huff, upset.

“Stop laughing. Help me!” You beg, picking up your clothes. “She’s just so gorgeous.”

“You’re gorgeous too, babygirl.” Lena reaches for your face, but you step away.

“Mom, seriously. I get it, you think I’m cute and pretty and nice, whatever.” You cross your arms. “I want to LOOK pretty. Can you do that, please?”

“Ok. Let’s see what we have here.” Lena starts trying to untangle the clothes from your bed, analyzing each item of clothes you have. She keeps making combinations, and talking at the same time. “Remember to eat slow. The way you and your momma eat it’s not cute.”

“You married her.”

“Well, I’m-well-It doesn’t matter what I did.” She looks back at you, handing you an outfit. “Let’s see this one.”

You change using your superspeed and Lena looks at you, raising an eyebrow.

“No.” She goes back to the pile of clothes. “I know you are an alien, but Maya doesn’t, so she won’t think it’s cute.”

“Yeah, ok. Got it.” She gives you another combination and you change again.

“Too formal.” Lena shakes her head in denial, making you roll your eyes. “Also, please pay for dinner.”

“I will.” You agree, showing her a sweatshirt, she denies with her head.

“Oh, I remember one that I think will look great.” Lena goes to your closet, and you hear her voice coming from there. “So, do you need me to drive you there?”

“Mom, I can literally fly.” You answer a little bit louder, and she comes back with a suit jacket. You deny with your head. “No, mom! I’m not gonna wear a suit for my date.”

“It’s not a suit.” She goes to you, putting on your shoulder. “It’s a part of a suit. You can put it with jeans.”

“Please don’t make me regret asking for your help.” You pout and she breathes deep.

“Hey, what are you two up to?” Kara asks leaning over the door frame from your bedroom and you look at her.

“I have a date, mom’s helping me pick something to wear.”

“What?” Kara looks outraged. “Why haven’t you asked me?” You just give her an eyebrow raise, and when you look behind you Lena is doing the exact same thing. “I have great style.” She mumbles to herself.

Kara makes space in your bed for her to sit, and keeps playing with your clothes. You can see Lena is two seconds away from kicking her out of the room.

“You know, I think you’re due a haircut.” Kara says and you run to the bathroom’s mirror.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” You yell, desperately.

“Nothing’s wrong with it!” You hear Lena’s voice. “Honestly Kara, if you’re not going to help…”

“I am helping!” She huffs annoyed. “I don’t know why you two are making such a big deal about this. You have been seeing Maya for weeks!”

“Uh.” You groan, going back to your bedroom. “You wouldn’t understand. You were friends with mom for years before you made a move on her. She knew everything about you, and still wanted you.” You look at Lena. “Why, exactly?”

“HEY!” Kara defends herself, then pouts looking extremely offended by your comment.

“I’m not saying she shouldn’t!” You rush to reassure her. “You’re cool, funny, and so handsome!” Kara smirks to that. “But you ARE an alien. So, what made you fall for an alien?”

You look at Lena, still shuffling through your clothes, and Kara also looks at her, very expectantly, like she doesn’t know the answer herself. Which is absolute bullshit, because you’ve never seen two people more in love in your life, and they are constantly talking about it and showing affection.

“Really? Just look at her.” Lena points at Kara, whose smirk just grows bigger. “Look at those guns!”

Kara flexes her arms, and Lena’s eyes zeros in it in hunger.

“You know what? Forget I asked.” You go back to your pile of clothes. “Stop looking, JESUS!” You clap your hands in front of Lena’s face. “Can’t you guys just wait until I leave for my date?”

“When is that exactly?” Kara asks, and you roll your eyes, feeling kicked out. But you still look on your phone.

“In ten minutes.” You look at some clothes. Your eyes slowly widen when you realize what you just said. “TEN MINUTES! MOM! I have TEN MINUTES!”

“Ok, calm down. You have super speed.” Lena shoots a look at Kara. “Come on, help.”

Kara mumbles something about the fact you two don’t think she has great style (which is true), but helps you to pick up a long-forgotten jeans jacket you loved so much. Lena picks up the rest of the outfit around it, and you’re ready with three minutes to spare.

“Hey, don’t forget to compliment her.” Kara says walking behind you, while you make your way to the backyard.

“Be a gentleman. Pull the chair.” It’s Lena’s turn to advise you.

“Oh, and if she asks how you got there, please don’t say you flew there on a bus.”

You snap your head back at Kara, squinting your eyes.

“Why on Earth would I say that?”

“Trust me, it could happen.” It’s Lena who answers and you look on your phone just to make sure you don’t have time to ask any further questions about it. “And don’t forget to pay-”

“Oh, dear Rao, I’ve got it!” You fly away after that.

You don’t got it. You absolutely do not. You’re revisiting the entire list they gave you from ‘compliment her’ to ‘pay for dinner’, when Maya walks in the restaurant and you almost choke on your own saliva.

“Hey, babe.” You hear her voice and you scramble your brain for words and the list. Oh, the list!

“Wow, you look… Wow.” You say and she chuckles, coming closer to kiss your cheek lightly.

“You look ‘wow’ yourself.” It’s her answer. Oh, the chair! Pull the chair.

“Here.” You pull the chair and she sits, with a smile on her face.

“What a gentlewoman.” Maya says and you celebrate inside your head. You sit across from her. “Did you moms drive you here?”

“Um…” Don’t say you flew here on a bus. Wait. Of course, you won’t. Rao, Kara is such a dork. “Yeah, Kara gave me a ride.”

“Oh, I thought Kara didn’t drive.” Maya is looking at her menu and you’re in front of her in absolute panic. It’s good she’s not focusing on you at the moment.

“No, she does. Just not well.” You say, making her laugh. And you breathe relieved and happy at the same time. Her laughter is something else. Maya, herself, is something else.

You try not to order too much food, so you don’t look like an actual alien. Usually, you know the exact moment when to stop ordering food by the way the waiter looks at you like you can’t just simply eat all that. This night you stopped way before the look, which probably means you’ll need to buy an entire pizza on your way home. But it’s cool, it’s fine. If not eating like a monster it’s the price to pay for having a girlfriend, you’re more than willing to comply.

“So, I’ve noticed you always have headphones with you. I figured you must really like music.” Maya says and you shake your head agreeing.

Yes, you really like music. And what you like about it so much is the fact that you can drown the noises down with it. Having something to focus on always works for you, when your powers are hard to control.

“I made you a playlist.” She gives you a keychain with a code. You smile from ear to ear. “In case you want to think about me, those are my favorite songs.”

“Oh, I think about you all the time, trust me.” You smile at her, holding her hand on top of the table. “Thank you, I really love it.”

You’re too enamored to notice your surroundings, but you hear an awfully familiar voice that shoots a spike of adrenaline through your spine. You look around to see her there. Oh, no. Not Lillian. Not at the same restaurant you are.

“Can you excuse me for a minute?” You stand up and Maya shakes her head agreeing, but she looks confused. She lets you go, and you pretend you’re going to the bathroom. When she looks down to her phone, you run to Lillian’s table.

“Grandmother.”

“Granddaughter.” She tilts her head, doing her signature move. “Are you here on a date?”

“Maybe.” You shrug. “Are you here to attempt a world take-over?”

“Maybe.” It’s her answer, but she isn’t. She is just eating like a normal person. Why does every day Lillian look more human to you? “You’re looking great.”

“Oh. Thanks.” And now you’re embarrassed.

“You shouldn’t keep your beautiful date waiting to talk to your old evil grandmother.” Lillian points at Maya with a head tilt, and you look back at your table and see Maya sitting there looking amazing. You can’t help a smile that comes up on your face. “Go! I won’t do anything evil today. We’ll talk more soon, dear.”

“Yeah. Ok.” You are almost going back to your table, when you turn around and salute her off. She nods with a tiny smile.

“You cool?” Maya asks and you agree with your head. “I ordered dessert.”

“That’s awesome.” You sit in front of her. “You’re awesome.” You fidget your necklace around your neck trying to calm yourself. “Um, so. I don’t know if you would like this, but um-” Maya holds your hand on the table, and gives it a gentle squeeze, like she’s telling you don’t have to be nervous. You smile. “Well, I applied for this robotics thing, and I have to work on something for it.”

“You know I’m not smart like you, right?” Maya jokes and you laugh.

“No, it’s… I have to work on it next week, and I thought maybe you would like to go to my lab at L Corp with me after school, and like, hang out?” You don’t even give her time to answer and you’re already adding. “But if it doesn’t sound fun, then you don’t have to, at all. Honestly, it’s-”

“Really? That would be great, yeah!” She smiles and you feel your heart easing out a little. “I would love to see this great brain of yours working.”

“Yeah?” You ask and she squeezes your hand again.

“Can’t wait to spend time with you.” She adds and you feel your heart beating so fast, you’re scared she might be able to hear it even without super hearing.

Honestly, you’re a big pile of mess after that. Actually, you’ve been a big pile of mess for this entire dinner, but Maya doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, she seems to like it.

When it’s time to leave, you pretend to call Lena for her to pick you up. It feels horrible lying to Maya, but you’re well aware that sharing your secret identity is something far too big than few dates. You hope one day you can tell her, but for now, you wait until she’s gone, find an alley somewhere, then you fly back home.

Before going inside the house though, you actually call Lena, just to make sure they’re decent and you don’t see more than what you would like to (again).

“Did you meet Lillian at the restaurant?” Lena asks, going in the living room at the same time you’re walking in.

“Yeah, she was having dinner there.”

“She sent me Maya’s entire family background check.” Lena says looking up from her phone.

“WHAT?”

“Oh, and apparently-” Lena looks at you smirking. “She approves.”

“Is it weird that I feel like I should break up now?” You joke, making your mom laugh. She comes closer and kisses your forehead.

“Don’t worry, I also did the background check once you told me about her.” She smiles when she sees your shocked expression. “And Alex looked them up in all systems worldwide. She’s cool.”

“You guys are so weird.” You half complain, half smile, and make your way to your bedroom.

They are weird, and also unnecessarily overly protective, because you have superpowers and can handle anything. But the fact that your entire family (even Lillian!) were worried about you, it’s extremely adorable. You just freaking love them so much.

Notes:

@hermen0404 and I got so carried away with Maya existence, so yeah.

[jaeminzie]

better than words | l.dh

↳ lee haechan x gender neutral!reader

synopsis: finally taking his friends’ advice, the not-so-cunning donghyuck finds a way to show his profound feelings toward his respectfully patient herbology partner.

genre: fluff

word count: 2,226

a/n: lawd it’s been a while since i’ve posted a fic but here it is ! a week delayed from valentine’s but let’s just pretend it’s the 14th :,]

‘better than words’ by one direction

part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series

like most hufflepuffs, you have a natural interest and talent with every living thing, including plants. herbology is one of the classes that you excell at and enjoy doing. though, the hufflepuff class had to deal with the subject with none other than the slytherins.

students walked into the greenhouse chatting, but soon became quiet once professor sprout called out for your attention, “everyone! in celebration of valentine’s day, i came up with the brilliant idea of hosting a contest! the objective is to successfully cast the herbivicus charm on a rose. this charm is used to rapidly grow whatever plant you desire.” everyone looked at each other warily, completely uninterested in some gardening spell. “since this spell needs precise movements, you will need a partner to help guide you.”

immediately, students began making eye contact with their preferred partners. lee donghyuck turned his head slightly toward your body standing next to him and nibbled his bottom lip. your relationship with donghyuck was rather interesting. being seatmates in this class, you choose to be kind and offer help whenever you see him struggling which would usually not be accepted by the boy. you believed his attitude was because of professor sprout moving him all the way at the front of the class next to you in punishment of being the initiator of constant disruption with his friends stood at the back. you didn’t mind the silence though. but in reality, donghyuck wasn’t sure how to talk to you without being too straightforward as he’s been told many times that he is slightly too shameless. he was afraid to say or do anything that could potentially hurt your feelings when he’d had no intention in doing so.

“to make it easier for everyone, your partner will be the person standing next to you.” professor sprout said her ‘good luck’s’ before dismissing us to work on the assignment. “whoever perfects the charm first wins.” she smiles before heading toward her desk covered in plant roots in the corner.

taking a deep breath before turning to the boy, you greeted him — to which he replied with a simple nod and pursed lips while avoiding eye contact. you cleared your throat at the awkwardness prior to politely asking, “do you want to be the one monitoring me or casting the charm?”

“i’ll cast it.” he grabbed the book placed in front of you and began flipping through the pages loudly. he began examining the words on the brown paper and clicked his tongue, “this will be easy.”

you let out a small laugh, “it looks pretty complicated.” you skimmed through the lines along with him, leaning forward closely in order to see clearly. donghyuck leaned back slightly when he noticed the close distance between your faces. the boy’s heart raced the moment he felt your hair brush against his right cheek. he wanted so badly to slap himself for not being able to contain his feelings.

he crossed his arms, tongue poking the inside of his right cheek in an attempt to not smile, “are you saying i can’t do it?”

“of course not, just be realistic.” your smile faltered when the once-gone awkwardness made its return when the last portion of your sentence came out instinctively. “oh, um, that didn’t come out well. just- i just mean that-”

“don’t.” he said blankly while you slightly pouted at his words since you’ve already failed to maintain a decent conversation barely five minutes in.

you bit your tongue at his response and forced yourself to move on since you wanted nothing more than to disappear from this situation. donghyuck rolled up the sleeves of his oversized green robe the best he could before waving his wand experimentally. “it says to-”

he cuts you off, “i don’t need assistance.” the tiniest quiver of your bottom lip caught his attention before it was directed toward his friends who were making obnoxious kissy faces toward your two distanced bodies. he glared at them before tilting his head slightly when he noticed your hunched figure standing timidly, starting to feel the regret in his unnecessary words. donghyuck cleared his throat and began to follow the instructions written in the book.

you carefully watched donghyuck’s wand, mentally taking notes on the movements. his long fingers delicately held his wooden wand that fits perfectly in his grip and moved it with such grace, creating imaginary loops and curves just how the book had described. “herbivicus.” he breathlessly spoke when he was finishing up the wand movements.

he proved his previous statement when the rose sprout began to flourish steadily. donghyuck turned, unintentionally making his shoulder hit your arm, and walked toward professor sprout. observing from afar, you see the professor’s face brighten when he was done speaking politely with his hands put behind his back. donghyuck nodded before turning to walk back toward your shared working table. gathering enough courage when he got close to you, you asked, “what did she say?”

he walked past you and began tending more flowers planted on the dirt tray behind you without saying a word. at this point, your patience was crippling. “are you just gonna ignore me?”

without even turning his head to face you, he shook his head at your question. “then answer me verbally.”

donghyuck physically melted as his knees felt weaker when hearing your fragile tone trying to be assertive. he moved his wand quicker, trying not to prolong the silence between the two of you. once the wide variety of flowers were fully grown in front of him, he attached them together with a ribbon before taking a deep breath. he’s been told by his friends that actions speak louder than words when asking for advice on courting a person he has interest in. lots of interest. he used to always scoff whenever they’d say that, but his desperation grew over time of not being able to initiate a proper conversation.

donghyuck felt stupid for doing this which was evidently shown through his red face and sweaty palms. he straightened his back and held the flowers with both hands, placing them in front of him.

he turned around to face you teary-eyed, the tears were threatening to spill at any moment. donghyuck’s shoulders and face dropped upon hearing your tiny voice, “why don’t you like me? did i ever offend you? or do i just annoy you?” donghyuck muttered curse words at himself for making you think this way. he placed the flowers on the table by his side and hesitantly hovered his hands over your shoulders, testing the limits. when you didn’t flinch away, he softly rested them on your shoulders, brushing his thumb against the soft fabric of your yellow robe.

“no. . . to all of those.” seeing your flushed cheeks and nose made him want nothing more than to caress your cheeks. he looked around the class and made sure no one could see him pull you two toward the exit located right next to your working station, making sure to bring the flowers and placing them behind his back.

you yelp when donghyuck gently placed you against the brick wall, his hands barely had any grip on your robe like he was afraid to cause any further damage. your breath hitched when he dropped his hands into his pockets and looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. “i’m sorry.”

you furrowed an eyebrow, not knowing how to react at this moment.

“i have a feeling i haven’t been the nicest to you.” he nibbled on his lip while you tried not to chuckle at his statement. “um, it’s stupid but i’m always cautious not to behave a certain way that’ll hurt you by. . . not talking to you at all or cutting our conversations as short as possible.”

he groaned and let his head fall back as he realized how childish and inconsiderate his actions were. your facial features softened as he faced you again with a coy smile. “forgive me, i swear i don’t not like you.”

he laughed breathlessly, “it’s quite the opposite actually.” the now pink-tinted boy’s right hand ran through his hair repeatedly before placing it on the wall behind you. “i’m really sorry.”

you blinked at him. “it’s okay. thank you for explaining, actually.” you cleared your throat. “i’m just glad you don’t hate me or something.”

“so, how would you feel about me liking you?” his once shy smile is now gone and has been replaced with a sly smirk. you were taken back from the sudden change of confidence from the boy.

you shrieked under his strong gaze as he stepped closer to your figure. “oh, i- um. i, i wouldn’t be. . . opposed.” his smirk grew bigger at your answer.

donghyuck took his hand off the walk and stepped back slightly and placed his left hand in front of his chest, showing the bundle of flowers he had tended for you. he stood there holding the bundle of the prettiest flower he chose himself with his still-sweaty palms, and smiling softly causing his still-pink cheeks to round. donghyuck surely held his composure quite well with his smooth comments and actions but the red tinted ears of his were clear even under the dimly lit walkway, giving his nervousness away. “this was what i was doing when you were talking to me.”

he scratched his head with his free hand, “sorry, i was fully immersed. y’know, concentrating.”

you nodded slowly at him. “got it.” you spoke slowly while eyeing the flowers in his hands.

donghyuck giggled at your state, all flustered and not knowing what to say. he could definitely get used to this view. “would you be opposed to going out to hogsmeade with me?” his hand went back onto the wall and his face leaned very closely to yours. “my treat.” a smile slowly made an appearance on his godly face.

you were baffled. just ten minutes ago, you were one second away from crying in the middle of class because of the same guy who’s making your heart flutter in a way that you’ve never experienced before. the same guy who wouldn’t even speak a proper grammatically complete sentence to you prior to the past couple minutes.

he quirked an eyebrow as he patiently waited for your response. taking a deep breath, you seriously had nothing to lose. “no, i wouldn’t be opposed to that.” donghyuck smiled at how you can finally speak a full sentence without taking any pauses or stumbling upon your words.

once again, he pushed himself off the wall to grab your hand and arranged them so that you were now holding the flowers. you felt a wave of heat rush onto your cheeks and you tried to hide by keeping your focus on the colorful array of petals, allowing your head to stay low.

this obviously didn’t satisfy donghyuck since he wanted to stare at your flustered state all day. his pointer finger rested under your chin and pushed your head up to force you into maintaining the intense eye contact. pretty. he thought. your eyes were still shiny, and face even redder. donghyuck smiled at the up-close view of the face he had to restrain himself from staring at for too long in the past. savoring this moment, he examined your face slowly. taking all the time he needed and did not need, he continued to stare at the way your mouth fell slightly open, counting the seconds you could last without blinking your eyes and holding your breath when he stood so near you.

his brown, yet bright, eyes looked back at yours, he spoke softly, “good. i’ll wait for you outside your common room right before the sun sets tomorrow.”

you let out a breathy laugh at the vague description. “and what time is that?”

“anytime you’re ready.” his warm breath hits your hot cheeks, making your smile falter. donghyuck notices his effect on you and keeps that in mind for future purposes that you’ll soon loathe him for. “just don’t keep me waiting for too long. i’m already excited to be with you.” donghyuck smiled at the double meaning of his own sentence, feeling proud of himself for finally making a move and smiling at the sweet thought of his friends no longer pestering him to talk to you nor poking fun at him for being a bit of a coward.

the boy had to force himself to step away, but his gaze was still set on you. “i’ll see you tomorrow. anticipate it for me.” you blinked and nodded at his order while he winked at you before he made room for you to move past him and walk back toward the greenhouse.

donghyuck pushed open the door for you to enter and was automatically greeted with wide smiles from his friends still standing at the back of the room, silently cheering for their friend. he shyly smiled back quickly before retreating his attention back to you. he noticed how you caressed the soft flowers in your hand with such adoration and a smile on your face that will never seem to leave — he wished to do the same to you. and he had a strong gut feeling that his wish would soon be granted.