#Senju-Uchiha Ayame

[depressedhatakekakashi]

1, 7, 14, 21, 28, 35, 40. 1 question per OC :)

1) how good is their sight? - Ayame!

Surprisingly good, possibly because she never awakens the Sharingan so there’s no eye strain on her that deteriorates her sight over time. Hikari does have a bad case of far sightedness, so Ayame gets to see her wife in cute glasses whenever she wants to read.

7) Do they prefer crowds or being alone? Hiroki!

Being alone is preferred but Hiroki is often fine in crowds. He recharges from having alone time but is very good with people and loves spending time with his friends and family.

If he were to ever marry, he’d have a space in his home that’s just him. Where he can hide away and recharge after a long day of being around people

14) do they get sick on amusement park rides? - Hotaru

No, but that’s partially because she only goes on rides she knows she won’t get sick on. Hotaru doesn’t like making herself sick so if she knows there is a risk she will avoid

Madara teases her all the time for it, but she’s fine with that. She gets him back by over feeding him and watching him go on the one ride that spins a lot

This plan has only backfired once, when Madara got sick on poor Katsura during a date

Hotaru never heard the end of it

21) have they ever killed someone? - Hikari!

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: Although she has killed her fair share of enemies, Hikari’s most memorable kill was when one of her clansmen went traitor and tried to attack Tobirama during his reign. Hikari didn’t think twice before ending his life but it really messed her up because she grew up with him.

They were part of the same clan

They were friends

And his blood is forever on her hands

28) How do they break bad news to someone? - Nakano

Bluntly. Nakano doesn’t muck about with trying to ease people’s feelings or be nice. If there’s bad news it’s bad no matter how she words it and she just wants to get it out of the way so she can support them if need be, or leave them alone if that’s what they want.

It gets her a lot of criticism but there are people who appreciate that she doesn’t sugar coat things.

35) would they take the chance to be immortal?

No. Although she has a deep fear of death, Yua still understands that is a natural part of life and all things must come to and end. She’ll fight tooth and nail to live as long as possible (and it’s the one thing her and orochimaru can agree on) but she’d never try to chest death.

40) Do they know that they are loved?

No.

Tobirama has never been good at telling his kids they’re loved and honestly neither was Izuna. They loved them, they could just never vocalize it well.

Ayame became much like her parents and prefered to show love with time and connection, rather than words

Yukio needs words. He needs to hear someone say ‘i love you’ and because he never does, he assumes that no one loves him. That he’s not wanted.

This already crushing hurt is made worse when he falls for Danzo of all people. Even if Danzo does return his feelings (which i tbh like to think he does) he’s a dick who works with insults and judgement

‘I love you’ is not something Yukio will ever hear from him.

Thank you for the ask 💜💜💜

[evilkitten3]

do you think another reason the chuunin exams were created (besides filtering out the "untalented" nin & introducing them to the life of a shinobi) was to create a trauma-bond between the teammates that survived/passed it? it's no secret that kid's lives or their innocence were never really valued in Konoha (or anywhere else for that matter), so I wouldn't be too surprised to find out this was done to strengthen the bond between teammates & better their teamwork/spirit

also, do you think the chuunin exams were especially traumatic during the sannin era, especially bc they were 6 (or a few years older but defo younger than naruto's gen) ??? and even if it wasn't the chuunin exams goal to create a traumabond, it certainly did for the sannin?

honestly, no. it's possible that i'm just the sort of person who tends to assume the best of people, especially fictional ones, but it's also true that i just tend to find fucked up shit more interesting when it was done with good intentions. i'm only into cartoonishly heinous motivations when they're applied to individuals rather than systems, i guess.

the thing you need to keep in mind concerning my view of the naruto universe is that literally every single character is deeply traumatized, whether they're aware of that or not. for starters, the vast majority of characters were raised to be child soldiers in a world where that's considered normal. our modern view of the 18-21 age group as the youngest adults doesn't apply there - legally, these people are becoming adults at ages as young as twelve (and that's the improved version - a lot of the older cast members have been shinobi since as young as five or six).

even the characters who never became ninja have all been through some pretty serious trauma. ayame and teuchi lived through the kyuubi attack, tazuna and his family had to deal with the whole gatou situation, and so on. no one in this world is remotely okay by our standards. but what that means is that being a neurotic mess is the norm. for the whole. entire. world.

a world based on structures so fucked up is going to be full of thoughts that to us seem entirely contradictory - how can konoha say it cares for its citizens when of the five most famous genin-by-six, the most functional is jiraiya (kakashi is a mess, tsunade is drinking and gambling away her problems, orochimaru is out there inventing to moral event horizons to cross, and itachi murdered his whole family and tortured his little brother about it)? but - and this is something that is understandably hard for people to wrap their heads around - we're shown things from people like the sandaime's point of view. we know - for a fact - that hiruzen cares deeply about his village and its citizens, and that most of the people he was personally involved in fucking up are the ones he - genuinely - cared for the most.

the second thing you need to be aware of is that the rankings in the naruto world are based on real life ninja ranks - jounin, chuunin, and genin are all real world terms that were modified to fit the world of naruto. whether irl ninja could move up in the ranks or not is something i don't know, but given that naruto is a shounen, it makes sense for the protagonist to have a clearcut explanation of the steps he needs to take to achieve his goal (ninja president) laid out early on, and that he and his friends be given the opportunity to move through the ranks throughout the course of the story (although, as many people have pointed out, naruto stayed a genin pretty much the whole time)

from an irl perspective, the chuunin exams are a way to introduce other characters, give the main trio a chance to level up, and also have a tournament arc for funsies. in-universe, the purpose is for genin to get a chance (or six chances kabuto) to become chuunin, and to strengthen ties with other villages via a show of trust - we're showing you our next generation. this is incentive to maybe not go to war again pretty please heart emoji poop emoji.

the thing is, life and innocence are valued in konoha, and likely the other villages as well, though we don't see it as much. but it's such a twisted, foreign concept to us real world non child soldiers that it doesn't seem like it (more accurately, it's valued by the people but not the system, and the people in charge of the system ignore that bc unfortunately for the entire naruto universe sakura didn't get around to inventing mental health until after the fourth war ended)

danzou and hiruzen exemplify this perfectly imo. hiruzen is full of ideals and beliefs and trust, and bc of that isn't able to see the system for what it is and can never fully understand why all of his good intentions keep churning out shitshows. on the other end of the spectrum, danzou is very aware of the world he lives in, possibly more than almost any other character. but bc of that he views the nature of humans as a flaw for shinobi to overcome - ninja are tools for the good of the village, and can and will be discarded just as easily. from a brutally practical viewpoint, danzou and hiruzen were probably genuinely extremely effective at keeping konoha together. it's just that how that worked out and how they did it is morally abhorrent to the majority of people (including hiruzen himself)

lastly, the concept of trauma as we view it not only doesn't but honestly can't exist in the world of naruto. say someone has a jutsu that allows them to create a brain scan similar to something we can do irl. the effects of mental illness on an adult brain wouldn't register as anything abnormal bc that's what everyone's looks like. you aren't having a "panic attack" or a "trauma response" or a "flashback", you're just going through the same shit everyone else is. that's all par for the course, it's just what life is like. that's how the world of naruto sees it, at least.

so where we see "children going through horrific events together and bonding bc they have no choice", the residents of narutolandia see "tuesday". so no, i don't think the chuunin exams were formed with the intent of gluing people to each other via trauma - they don't need to be. that's what life is for.

concerning the sannin, i'm not sure they ever took the chuunin exams. i honestly don't even know if the chuunin exams would've been a thing yet - the earliest one we know of is the one kakashi and his team were at, which was konoha-only and thus already fairly different from the one naruto went through. the sannin lived through all of the first three ninja wars, and though they probably didn't fight in the first one, they likely became genin just as it ended (otherwise i'm not sure how sarutobi would've had time to teach them...?). orochimaru's parents were already dead by the time he became a genin, so it's not hard to imagine they died in the first war. the sannin are actually relatively lucky - the second world war didn't happen until they were in their 20s, so they got a good two decades of not being at war (this is the longest space of time between the wars, followed by the time between the third and fourth wars (~15 years) and then the time between the second and third wars (less than 1 year)).

actually, thinking about it now, i think it's possible that spend early pre-ninja childhood with their village at war, then spending the rest of their youths in (relative) peace, and then finally getting tossed right back into shitshow two electric boogaloo might've been why they ended up more fucked up than most. so i guess the solution really was the moon coma after all

tldr: madara was right. not where i thought i was going with this but it does seem to be where we ended up

[at1nys-blog]

Masterlist

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷Teams, Families and Associations

【Team 7】

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ nothing yet

【Team 10】

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【Team Guy】

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【Team 8】

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【Konoha 11】

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【Team Taka】

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【Akatsuki】

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【Uzumaki】

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【Uchiha】

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【Hyuga】

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【Senju】

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【Inuzuka】

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【Sand Siblings】

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷Single Characters

【Headcanons】

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ Deidara (requested)

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ Hidan (requested)

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ more to come

【Kakashi Hatake】

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ A change of heart

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ more to come

【Naruto Uzumaki】

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ nothing yet

【Sasuke Uchiha】

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【Sakura Haruno】

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【Asuma Sarutobi】

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【Shikamaru Nara】

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【Choji Akimichi】

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【Ino Yamanaka】

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【Might Guy】

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【Neji Hyuga】

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【Rock Lee】

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【Ten Ten】

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【Kurenai Yuhi】

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【Kiba Inuzuka】

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【Hinata Hyuga】

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【Shino Aburame】

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【Gaara】

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【Temari】

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【Kankuro】

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【Orochimaru】

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【Jiraya】

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【Tsunade】

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【Shizune】

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【Iruka】

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【Anko Mitarashi】

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【Koketsu Hagane】

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【Izumo Kamizuki】

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【Genma Shiranui】

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【Hayate Gekko】

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【Ebisu】

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【Aoba Yamashiro】

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【Hashirama Senju】

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【Tobirama Senju】

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【Minato Namikaze】

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【Kushina Uzumaki】

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【Ayame】

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【Teuchi】

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【Nawaki】

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【Rin Nohara】

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【Shisui Uchiha】

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【Obito Uchiha】

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【Madara Uchiha】

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【Yahiko】

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【Zabusa】

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【Haku】

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【Suigetsu Hozuki】

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【Jugo】

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【Karin】

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【Kimimaro】

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【Deidara】

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【Itachi Uchiha】

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【Kakuzu】

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【Kisame Hshigaki】

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【Konan】

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【Nagato】

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【Sasori】

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【Tobi】

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【White Zetsu】

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【Black Zetsu】

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【Hidan】

↳˳;; ❝ ᵕ̈೫˚∗ nothing yet

Disclaimer: Order is kind random and I'm pretty sure I forgot someone, in case I did you can request a fanfiction for them.

[noxxha]

How do you envision Madara and Izuna meeting their wives (your OCs)? It's always interesting to hear people's thoughts on how their imagination ties into canon.

Hi there, anon! This question made me smile, and made my heart flutter in excitement.

It’s not a simple question as I have two different headcanons that are “canon” in my imagination. It is also here that a few details for certain headcanons change (the clan headcanons for example), as I want to be flexible for the sake of the stories I write (and sometimes I prefer more historical accuracy mixed in with my imagination)

But in general there are two different parallel timelines I tend to work with:

They met each other young (not childhood friends per se)

They meet each other when grown and their marriage(s) were arranged (I have not played with this headcanon too much, but it is fun to explore how the “romantic” angle would work in such a dynamic)

The below headcanons are linked with Warring States and my Reiki stories (it is a touch more historically accurate, with certain things).

It is the first one that tends to be the backstory for the four of them. Madara and Izuna meet Ayame and Saki for the first time after the latter two save Izuna’s life (he nearly drowned during a skirmish in winter). They are humble healers (not chakra healers, but they are the pair that “invent” that type of healing so to speak) and have sworn neutrality in the feud between the clans (they were born in the Uchiha clan and come from a quite talented shinobi/samurai lineage, but their parents willingly lowered their status to farmers/peasants). They offer their aid to any clan (be it Senju or Uchiha or any other).

They do not grow up together through, but they spend about two years together, becoming friends (worldview and dialects is something that clash at first) eventually. It is not “love” at first sight, but “affection”.

While marriage is done out of love, Tajima is the one overseeing each and every arrangement so to make sure that there is no mistreatment involved. There are also a few more cases of political marriages in the Warring States/Reiki universe (to stay in good grace with their allied clans). Tajima and his wife, and the parents of Ayame and Saki actually arrange a sort of “marriage” for the four of them the moment aware that affection is very strong and promising (the marriage in question would only take place when they were of age, though, and neither of the children knew about the agreement until they were older).

Ayame in particular spends about 4 years without seeing Madara the moment she starts to “bleed” as she is trained to become a miko priestess (tradition for the oldest daughter) as well as getting training in becoming a “worthy bride/wife”. It is during her training, and travels, that she meets Uzumaki Mito and they end up forming a lifelong friendship eventually. She also awakens her Sharingan during this time (an extremely rare occurrence for women) as sexuality and her role as a female entity (and all it entails) is what breaks down her self enough for the Sharingan to manifest.

Eventually she is reunited with Madara and it is during that reunion that their feelings of affection flares up into passion, that also deepens into love and the certainty that they want each other as companions/lovers, and they spend a night together - revealing their feelings for one another.

It is when Madara becomes clan head that he makes Ayame his wife officially (who by that time, due to certain events, has returned to the clan of their birth - as that would have to be the only condition for their marriage to be allowed).

Izuna and Saki might fit the “childhood friends” cliché a tad more than their older siblings. Saki never undergoes the training of a priestess, as her metamorphosis into a woman starts later than for Ayame (who, to her own grief, was extremely early). She lives at home with her parents and older brother, caring for the sick and injured, as well as working on their “chakra healing” theory as well as educating herself through the books their father keeps bringing them. She spends more time with Izuna, but not a lot, as the war/s are still raging.

Their sexual explorations are not as early as their siblings, but they are not the “no sex before marriage” individuals because…curiosity. They are also aware of their feelings in a different way to their older siblings.

The thing with Izuna and Saki is that (in Warring States/Reiki universe) they never enter wedlock, as Izuna dies in the very skirmish where they promised they would make it official the moment he returns home.

Ayame and Saki are also trained as “unofficial shinobis/kunoichis”. They start their training late (around 16 and 14) for shinobi standards (at the time), but they manage regardless to become the two strongest women in the clan, and even of their generation (together with Uzumaki Mito). History, however, erases their contributions on the medical ninjutsu front. Or, rather, barely knows from where it originated in the first place.

I tend to have them develop the Mangekyō Sharingan and be the first women to do so (Naori, filler character as she is, is the third woman to ever do so).

That is how I tend to have them meet. But the other dynamic is pretty much an “arranged marriage” scenario (without the “childhood friends” trope) and that would be the most historically accurate portrayal of how marriage probably would work in that period of the Narutoverse (we all have our biases and preferences, though).

It all depends what dynamic I want to explore.

But no matter which dynamic they end up in, their relationship becomes a strong partnership full of love, trust and respect, in the end.

While this question is focused on the canonverse (I assume so at least), I will thrown in a bonus about AUs (modern world mostly):

They meet quite young (early twenties) and it is here that the greatest changes in dynamic happens, as the backstory for Madara and Izuna is altered more (or less) to fit the “modern world”.

While each and every story focuses on psychology in some shape or form, in AUs this psychology becomes to most “real” and “human”so to speak.

——

Thank you so much for your question, anon. It was a lot of fun to answer as my OCs are very dear to my heart (unpopular opinion, I know).

All the best and take care o/

[rokudaimehole]

I am once again asking for your Izanagi headcanon, I vaguely remember what it was 🙏🙏 Please supreme ratticus

Hiya!

I’m not sure which headcanon you’re specifically referring to, but I can try to parse things out for you. I realize in my great purge, a lot of my posts were lost (aka — I did not save them, whoops) so there is a chance I may backtrack on my ten year old headcanons.

More under the cut!

So, from what we know in established canon, the Izanagi is one half of a whole jutsu — the Creation of All Things (CoAT). It’s been wildly speculated and theorized in the community that in order for it to be “perfected” that 1) an Uchiha must have Senju DNA and 2) it’s variable. Now, a lot of this discourse comes from the fact that the manga does have conflicting information (as with most things…) but when it is first stated, it’s important to remember Obito was fed those things by Black Zetsu. Please consider: is it unreliable narration from a heavily manipulated character or is it a retcon when it is disproven later on?

I leave my thoughts out of this as an Obito sympathizer. But let’s be real: it’s probably a retcon.

In any case! For the sake of my headcanon, ignore both of those facts because I don’t consider either of them — and yes, I will explain.

My headcanon has a few prongs, so let me list them:

1) The Izanagi is defined by the limits of the user’s belief.

2) More than blindness, those who survive the use of the Izanagi pay personal costs for playing god.

3) The effectiveness of the jutsu is directly tied to the user’s bloodline and their mastery over yin-yang release.

Now, if you’re seeking specific headcanons about Ayame’s journey you will have to direct message me because while I do plan to maintain the same arc, it’s slightly different now so 🤫

To explain the headcanon:

Those who possess the ability to activate the Sharingan don’t necessarily need to have Hashirama cells. Does it help? Yes. Having Senju DNA helps everything in that universe. However, it’s still something that users can do, even if it’s limited.

The limits of a user’s belief directly impact the result of the jutsu: an Uchiha with a god complex is going to come back strong and hitting. A panicked, insecure user may not be able to reshape reality to the fullest of the jutsu’s capability. A confident, nearly beaten hero grasping at desperation may get what they want and more.

What personal cost would they have to pay besides blindness? I headcanon that they also sacrifice a portion of their chakra. It just never comes back — that’s the price for shaping reality. You’re alive, but you’re weaker for it.

How does bloodline matter? Well, just like any type of ninjutsu! If you come from a stronger branch of the Uchiha family and hold mastery over yin-yang release, you have a better shot at the results you want. Reality takes less to shape. It’s not always a guarantee, but it helps.

Since this is kind of long, you’re welcome to ask specifics. I’d be glad to dive back in! I have a lot of worldbuilding around the Uchiha clan and their dōjutsu, as I am sure many of you remember.

[kiljoius]

This is mostly for my own purposes, but in case anyone else wants to use this, I compiled just the birth years of every character from this wonderful list for easy picking out.

Year 0: Konohagakure is founded

Year 3: Akimichi Torifu

Year 5: Uchiha Setsuna

Year 5-6: Tsunade’s parent

Year 7: Shimura Danzo, Chiyo

Year 8: Sarutobi Hiruzen, Ebizo

Year 9: Utatane Koharu, Mitokado Hamura

Year 10: Sarutobi Biwako

Year 16: Mifune

Year 18: Uzumaki Ise

Year 19: Hatake Sakumo, Tazuna

Year 20: Yuhi Shinku, Umino Ikkaku, Umino Kohari

Year 23: Uzumaki Fuso

Year 26: Tsunade, Jiraiya, Orochimaru, Kato Dan

Year 27: Maito Dai

Year 30: Senju Nawaki

Year 32: Uchiha Fugaku

Year 34: Uchiha Hazuki

Year 35: Teuchi

Year 37: Hyūga Hiashi, Hyūga Hizashi, Uchiha Mikoto, Kitsuchi, Madam Shijimi

Year 38: Kazekage Rasa

Year 39: Aburame Shibi

Year 40: Akimichi Choza, Yamanaka Inoichi, Nara Shikaku, Yakushi Nono

Year 41: Namikaze Minato, Uzumaki Kushina

Year 42: Nara Yoshino, Inuzuka Tsume

Year 44: Killer Bee

Year 45-46: Namiashi Raido, Uzumaki Nagato, Konan, Yahiko, Sasori

Year 46: Yamashiro Aoba

Year 47: Shiranui Genma

Year 48: Hoshigaki Kisame, Ebisu

Year 49: Uchiha Obito, Nohara Rin, Sarutobi Asuma, Yuhi Kurenai, Shizune, Terumi Mei, Tsunami

Year 50: Maito Gai, Morino Ibiki

Year 51: Hatake Kakashi, Momochi Zabuza, Samui

Year 51-52: Hyūga Hoheto, Emi

Year 52: Mitarashi Anko, Hagane Kotetsu, Kamizuki Izumo, Yura

Year 54: Yamato/Tenzo, Umino Iruka, Gekko Hayate, Uchiha Shisui, Akado Yoroi, Tsurugi Misumi, Darui, Cee, Utakata

Year 55: Uzuki Yugao

Year 57: Yakushi Kabuto

Year 58: Hidan

Year 59: Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Izumi, Inuzuka Hana

Year 60: Ayame

Year 62: Temari, Deidara, Yuki Haku, Kaguya Kimimaro, Jūgo

Year 63: Kurotsuchi, Kankuro, Tsuchi Kin, Abumi Zaku, Kinuta Dosa

Year 64: Hyūga Neji, Rock Lee, Tenten, Sai, Karui

Year 64-65: Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Hyūga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chōji, Nara Shikamaru, Uzumaki Karin, Hozuki Suigetsu, Omoi

Year 65: Uzumaki Naruto,

Year 66: Gaara

Year 69: Sarutobi Konohamaru, Kazamatsuri Moegi, Ise Udon

Year 70: Hyūga Hanabi, Inari

Year 81: Sarutobi Mirai

Year 85: Uzumaki Boruto, Uchiha Sarada, Yamanaka Inojin, Nara Shikadai, Akimichi Chocho, Metal Lee,

Year 87: Uzumaki Himawari

Timeline of Naruto Universe

For my own purposes, I want to sort out a timeline for how I’d like to believe the events unfolded, starting with the founding of the villages as Year 0. There are a lot of contradictory statements about how old people are, when the village would’ve existed, etc. One clear example: I have to disregard the statement that Hashirama became Hokage 67 years prior to Naruto’s events. Since he was Hokage at the time of Madara’s defection, it was actually 74 years prior to Part II at minimum that Hashirama became Hokage, based on the ages of Hashirama’s grandchildren. 

So a lot of this is going to be 1) pure conjecture and 2) selective reasoning. It’s also not going to pay much mind to birthdays aside from their year date, as that might make this overly complicated. It’s a fruitless endeavour, really, but I thought it’d be fun to try to make sense of it all. Below the dates I have character ages where it is useful or relevant, as well as notes on how it fits into the narrative/in respect to other established dates. I’m sure there are better and more precise ones that exist, but this one’s mostly just for me anyway.

So without further ado, here’s my timeline:

Year 0: Konohagakure is founded; village system established 

Characters: Hashirama and Madara approx. age 25

Notes: Konoha is founded in the years following Izuna’s death, who is approximately 24 when he dies. Madara and Hashirama both appear to be 1-2 years older than their siblings based on their appearances as children.

Keep reading

[tenzoscabin]

Affection Fest 2022 Masterpost

In February our Tenzo’s Cabin members was given three random characters (Including Tenzo) to create content for, and wow! Did we get so many amazing entries this year! So much affection! We had one theme: AU’s and our cabinets have been so creative! The talent is incredible! We are so excited to share it all here:  ------------------------------

Love in the Time of Quarantine by @kodiaksage

Modern AU Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou Rating: Mature Words: 4,054 Summary: Tenzou's flourishing container-garden on his balcony is the only thing keeping him sane during the quarantine, until he meets the man in the apartment next door. ------------------------------

All of me, Loves all of you  by @nki-stories

Historical AU Pairing: Nohara Rin/Yamato | Tenzou; Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou Rating: Teen And Up Audiences           Words: 1,768 Summary: Tenzo hadn’t wanted to be married, he enjoyed his life as a bachelor and traveling the world. But now that he was, he wouldn’t change a thing. ------------------------------

Mars is the God of Love  by @jinxkirin

Martian AU (book, film) Pairing: Maito Gai | Might Guy/Sarutobi Asuma/Yamato | Tenzou Rating: Explicit Words: 5,439 Summary: LOG ENTRY: SOL 6

Well, fuck.

Whoever said it was a good idea to hook up with two guys before a long mission should burn in hell. Kakashi, I mean you, bastard. (And don't pretend that you don't read everyone's "private" logs.) You got me into this, and I pray every night that Iruka fries your bony ass over his lab burner, slowly and painfully.

The mission is 543 days, you said. The chances of us being assigned to the same team were next to nothing, you said. So, how the fuck am I now stuck with them both in the same Hab with no one else around in the 2000 miles radius?! ------------------------------

So This Is My Family  by @pinkcatharsis

Modern AU Rating: Mature           Pairing: Umino Iruka/Yamato | Tenzou Words: 6,947 Summary:  “You’re really nervous about this,” Iruka gently says,  lacing their fingers together. “Tenzou, if you aren’t comfortable, I can take a cab and—“

The response comes out sharp. “No.”

Which stuns Iruka to silence as he stares at Tenzou with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry, just – I’m not nervous introducing you to my family.” Tenzou sighs.

“Then…?”

How does Tenzou even begin to explain? ------------------------------

3 pieces of Beautiful Art by @annanua-blog

Modern AU Pairing: Hashirama Senju/ Yamato | Tenzou, Obito Uchiha/ Yamato | Tenzou, Itachi Uchiha/ Yamato | Tenzou

------------------------------

Lovely Art by Katherine (the_fabulous_artistic_me)

Sakumo lives AU Pairing: Kakashi Hatake & Sakumo Hatake & Yamato | Tenzou & Ayame ------------------------------

Tenzo Pedal  by @kaoruhana08

High School AU Rating: General Audiences Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito/Yamato | Tenzou Words: 10,150 Summary: The day that Tenzo joined the Konoha Gakuen cycling team, he wasn’t sure what to expect. He had always liked biking, enjoyed feeling the wind rush past him as he sprinted downhill, the pain in his legs as he climbed the hills. It felt so freeing, especially when he was riding by himself and there wasn’t anyone around to disturb him.

But, he fit into the team and then before he knew it, he started falling for Obito-senpai and Kakashi-senpai.

And somehow found himself being mentored by Genma-senpai too.

Perhaps Konoha Gakuen's biking team might be the best thing that had happened to him. ------------------------------

Agape  by @mrs-iruka​

Modern AU Rating: Teen And Up Audience Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka/Yamato | Tenzou Words: 3,693 Summary: It had been three years since they'd become a throuple. Three wonderful years in which they had all fallen so deeply in love with each other. Or in which Tenzo and Iruka give a Polyamory relationship with Kakashi a try.

------------------------------

Icha Icha love mission by Sayanel

Everybody lives AU Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Uchiha Obito/Yamato | Tenzou, Shiranui Genma/Yamato | Tenzou, Sarutobi Asuma/Yamato | Tenzou Words: 6,063 Summary: Kakashi feels like Tenzo needs some more love in his life, and tries to help him in his own way.Tenzo politely tells him to go bother someone else, preferably a country or two away.He doesn’t even want to know what an “Icha Icha love mission'' is.”...

 ------------------------------

[phlebaswrites]

Phlebas Fandom Year in Review (2021)

I first saw the idea of a summary for 2021 here on @hashiramashonkers tumblr, and then the templates that were made available by @writhingbeneathyou​. Then I saw the post by @kalira​ and decided to do my own version.

So this was me in 2021.

The Basics

New stories: 114 Word Count: 591,519 Events: 8 Event stories: 46

Fandom Event Breakdown

Konoha Pride 2021: 9 stories Naruto RarePair Week 2021: 8 stories Kisame Week 2021: 8 stories Kinktober: 2 stories Kisame Halloween 2021: 3 stories Obitober 2021 Mirror Challenge: 2 stories Izuna Week 2021: 7 stories Founders Week 2021: 7 stories

Fandom & Top 5 Ship Breakdown

Naruto: 110 Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Izuna: 30 Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara: 18 Senju Hashirama/Uchiha Madara: 14 Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito: 12 Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi: 10

Fruits Basket: 1 Sohma Ayame/Sohma Hatori/Sohma Shigure

The Witcher: 1 Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg

Scaredy Cat - Heather Franzen R.: 1 Gen

Original Work: 1 Gen

(All of the statistics here are taken from AO3 - I don't keep a personal count.)

[justsomeoneunordinary]

@madbuns Your tags gave me brainworms, so here you go:

Butsuma barely manages a step onto the engawa before he stops in his movements and stares.

He blinks a few times, just to make sure his mind isn’t playing any tricks on him in his, for a shinobi, old age.

But no matter for how long he stares, the image of Senju Ayame, one of his fiercest fighters and most loyal clansmen, standing right in the middle of what once used to be his garden but is now a hazard zone thanks to Hashirama’s experimenting with the mokuton, doesn’t change.

Which shouldn’t be possible because Senju Ayame died two weeks ago by the blade of no other but Uchiha Tajima’s.

Just like every other soldier positioned behind his second oldest son, Tobirama, who looks up at Butsuma with a neutral face the way Butsuma has taught him, but with hope shining in his ruby-red eyes that he inherited from Butsuma’s mother. He’s still young; he’ll learn to suppress the emotions in his eyes one day too.

Butsuma looks back to the army of dead(?) and to the bones hastily thrown behind a bush, which he can only hope aren’t human bones, before settling his gaze back to Ayame, whose sclera most certainly shouldn’t be black, and whose skin shouldn’t have cracks as if she were a puppet made of porcelain.

“Butsuma-chan,” Ayame drawls, because while she might’ve been one of his best fighters, she’s always been a little shit first and foremost, “your son is a menace to society, I hope you know that.”

Butsuma has half a mind to turn around and pretend nothing happened, but he can feel Yokomi’s presence behind him and knows his wife would call him a cowardly chicken if he were to retreat, so he takes a deep breath and asks, “Tobirama?”

Tobirama immediately perks up, that expressionless mask falling to make room for childish expectation, clearly looking for praise. Butsuma almost feels sorry. Almost. He’s a war-hardened shinobi; he will not fall for his son’s puppy dog eyes. (Even though he can silently admit to himself that they’re far more lethal than Hashirama’s. Hashirama exploits that look to the point one easily grows immune to it, but Tobirama knows to use it rarely enough to get everyone to fall for it.)

“Explain.”

“I kept your soldiers from death, chichi-ue!” Tobirama says, his voice singing with pride, and Butsuma suddenly remembers when a few months ago Tobirama tried to test out the boundaries of Hashirama’s regeneration abilities, and Butsuma dissuaded him from doing so by pointing out Tobirama should rather focus his smarts on keeping his soldiers away from death, lest he accidentally kills his own brother.

This is not how Butsuma had meant it.

Behind him, Yokomi bursts out laughing in that boisterous manner she tends to do, and Itama, who must’ve followed her in an impressively silent manner, considering Butsuma hasn’t noticed him until now, follows her example. He’s too young to understand what is going on, but he’s at an age now where he imitates everything that the adults do, which means he throws his head back in the same manner as Yokomi and laughs as loud as his young vocal cords allow.

“That’s my son, all right!” Yokomi cheers, reminding him of that one time she tried to figure out if she could make a river run through the Senju compound with her suiton and ended up flooding more than half of the compound. In the middle of winter.

Butsuma considers resigning his position as clan head.

Motivated by Yokomi’s wrong-placed delight and utterly blind to Butsuma’s inner turmoil, Tobirama continues, “I call it the Edo Tensei!”

Fucking fantastic.

Ayame only lifts an eyebrow in an unimpressed manner and repeats, “Menace. To. Society,” punctuating each word slowly. Butsuma can’t help but agree.

The rest of the army of (un)dead say nothing; they don’t move at all, as if they weren’t fully brought back, in the same manner as Ayame was. It’s a small mercy but Butsuma takes what he can get.

A slow sigh escapes his lips as he turns around and fixates Itama with a stern look that stops Itama in his laughter immediately. His first son is a freak of nature, his second son plays with the laws of life and death, and his third son has shown too much interest in fire, so Butsuma knows his house will burn down sooner or later. As for his last son… “You better turn out normal,” he growls. Or else.

Itama gulps and Butsuma nods. With that said, he turns back inside the house, ignoring the chicken noises Yokomi makes at his retreat, and aims straight for the sake in the kitchen.

He’s absolutely not dealing with a zombie army in his backyard while sober, thank you very much.

Imagine the first time the Senju kiddos realize Hashirama has a regegeneration ability?? After a moment of horror, Tobirama’s little science brain immediately latches onto that. Hey, what if I stabbed you in the heart, anija? If I cut off your foot, do you think it’ll grow back?

Butsuma, horrified:  You are NOT cutting off your brother’s foot!

Tobirama: But chichi-ue, it’s for science!

Butsuma, about to lose his mind, turning to his wife to please get her son under control, except he remembers that when they do stupid shit they’re his sons not hers, so there’s no point in trying. Great, so now he has to find something more interesting to distract Tobirama with… (Never mind that a part of him is also curious to find out if the foot would grow back or not. He’s an adult, he’s not going to experiment on his own son, nope.)

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Hatake clan lives AU! Like there are clan members around, Yua lives, no bad mission for Sakumo, maybe Kakashi gets to meet Hikari? Would Kakashi be one of those genius kids who is too proud of his clan and lineage growing up, or would his parents being dorks in public make him a little embarrassed and tone down his arrogance back then?

Ok, hotaru is Madara’s age and madara was 100 when he ‘found’ Obito. That means he was around 70 when Sakumo was born.

Meaning Hotaru is 70 and living well when Sakumo is born until he’s maybe five, and some of Sakumo’s first memories are of this really silly adult who seem’s to thrive iff of chaos and will be the only one to openly insult Madara in the dumbest ways (never his skill or personality)

I think Sakumo would be a little bit more silly if that were the case. Not just ‘anxious dad’ but anxious openly happily silly dad who thrives off of embaressing his wife and son (and oh boy does he)

Hikari and Ayame getting to meet Yua and loving her 😭😭😭 they want to make her feel at home and will have WORDS with anyone who makes their daughter in law feel like she doesn’t belong.

Hikari and Ayame getting to love their grandson and perhaps feeding a little into his ego because he got that from somewhere and I think Ayame would be able to refrain from getting excited when he excels. Hikari is a lot more chill about it and will bonk him on the top of the head if he starts getting arrogent.

Kakashi getting to know his mother, see his father grow old, meeting his grandparents. Learning Hatake Clan jutsu’s from his family and hearing stories about the clan.

Urge it hurts i love it so much 😭😭😭

No no no WAIT!

Obito talking about the sharingan and Kakashi smuggly reminding him that He could ALSO unlock it since he has Uchiha blood. (He can’t that got cut off through Ayame because she didn’t inherit it and neither did Sakumo. kakashi’s just being RUDE)

[thekingwhereitallends]

Naruto Head Canons PART II:

#17-Once Akatsuki Members wanted to Go to a Ceremony in Disguise for Information. Deidara was somewhat Mad at Sasori,So He said to Pain he wants to be With Itachi. Pain revealed that There will be Couples; One has To Transform Himself to A Woman to Come.Deidara hated Itachi but Trusted Him.He transformed Himself into a Girl. Deidara never Told Anyone,But He learned Itachi was the Most Gentleman and Romantic That he has Ever Seen.

#18-Tobirama ordered Danzo to Kill Orochimaru's Parents to Form a Peace with Kumogakure,They had Invented Many Forbidden Jutsu and A Rank Ninjutsu/Genjutsu.Even that Doesn't Prevent Orochimaru from Respecting And Idolizing The Great Hokage.

#19-Days after He became The Fourth Hokage,He invited His Friend Rasa to Konoha.But Unfortunately,Kurama was Released.Rasa Caught Kurama in His Gold Dust with No Difficulty,and Minato teleported Kurama's Biju Bomb and Rasa Sealed Kurama.Once Kushina was Awake,When he learned Rasa Saved Kushina and Konoha, Told Minato that Redheads are the Strongest,and That Marked Rasa's Lips with a Mean Grin,While Minato was Filled with Jealousy and Rage toward his Rival.

#20-Mei Terumi Was Selected as Mizukage when Mangetsu Killed the Fourth.She know that Mangetsu was a Spy in Akatsuki,and Itachi is not Actually a Traitor to Konoha.

#21-Sakumo Once Fought Aginst Ameyuri Ringo,Defeated Her,and Called His Friends Including Might Duy that Ameyuri is Cute,While Others Called Her Ugly and Monster.Sakumo even Gave Her a Medicine Worth 15000 Ryo,which was saved for Over 6 Years and 20 S Rank Missions.

#22-Kakashi has Dated Anko,and Fell in Love With Her.

#23-Kabuto found Guren and Yukimaru and Told them to Go into a Safehouse built by Himself to Keep Orochimaru's hands away from Them.Guren knew that Kabuto had no Clear Reason nor He could justify his Decision,But She came to Slowly Keep a Place in Her Heart for Kabuto.

#24-Tobirama Taught Kenshin Mikami to Use Flying Thunder God Technique.Kenshin Taught it to Kakashi's Grandmother Haruto Inuzuka.Haruko taught it to Dan Kato.Dan taught it to Sakumo.Sakumo taught it to Minato.Minato taught it to Genma and Itachi.and Itachi taught it to Tsubasa Emiya(OC).Only One Man in Every 10 Years Can Learn It,For How Difficult are It's Trainings,How Fast Should Reflexes and Speed Be,How Chakra Taxing is This Technique,and How Much You Can Trust Someone with This S-Rank Technique.When Itachi Slaughtered the Uchiha Clan,Kakashi thought it was all a Lie and Myth,a Technique can be Taught to Prodigies and or Geniuses,Right?

#25-Yashamaru was Pakura's Lover and One and Only User of Emerald Sand Style,a Defense even Harder than Shukaku's Sand or Susanoo.

#26-Minato considered Fighting Aginst Fugaku a Dream.as He knew He may have been Under Genjutsu for Years and Fugaku would Use that Aginst Him and Defeat Him.Fugaku was Only Shinobi in World that Minato may Consider as His Superior,While Every Other Shinobi Ignores Him.

#27-Ökami Inuzuka,Mother of Kakashi,Sakumo's Wife,Died from Same Disease that Itachi and Kimimaro would have in Future.She died when Kakshi was just 2 Days Old.

#28-Once Genma,Fourth Raikage,Killer B and Naruto Uzumaki Had a Debate on Who is The Fastest Shinobi in the World.Genma saw Shizune watching,and He blitzed His Opponents.Shizune was proud of her Boyfriend;because He proved that Some Jonins are Even Superior to Kages and Jinchurikis.

#29-Aoba's Mother was A Yamanaka.His Parents name Arakan Yamashiro and Bulma Yamanaka.Aoba is Ino and Fu's Cousin.

#30-Hana Inuzuka,Izumi Uchiha,Ayame and Even Yugao Uzuki were part Itachi's Fangirls Club.

#31-Minato Namikaze was Son of Dan Kato and Tsunade Senju,Borned after Second Great Shinobi War.Tsunade left Him because He reminded him of Dan,so Orochimaru offered Sakumo to take care of the Child,Which he Accepts.

#32-Rasa saved Sasori from Bullies.Third Kazekage Samirö Saw Rasa When He was Crying for Sasori,and He knew he Has Founded the Next Kazekage.

[warringerastuff]

HAHAHAHAHHAHA

some trashy memes

✨only the best for my followers✨

[ftcoye]

Oh. What if "U. Coming home" with Sasuke/Chouji?

[Ao3 Link.]

Konoha is different.

Or rather - Konoha is exactly the same, and Sasuke is different.

He was never… the typical Konohan shinobi, never the one who was deeply loyal (obviously), but he did not suspect Konoha of what it was, not then. Not even when he left, limping in the rain, did he suspect the truth of his home.

Now he is here, returned, seeing this village with its veneer of kindness and waiting to rip it off and rip it to shreds. He sits in Ichiraku - he had tired of hearing Naruto and Tsunade yell at each other in the Hokage office, tired of hearing Sakura join in. Sai had stood at the closed doorway and smiled, ostensibly to keep an eye on him as if he could not sense the countless ANBU that lurked.

It’s for show, more than anything else - everyone knows that his whole team is on his side, that they will help him rip this apart even if it is in a different way than his initial approach, and that she could never declare him an enemy or risk every single one of them leaving with him. Even Kakashi stands at his side, though Sasuke is reluctant to call him sensei now, standing in on the arguments and likely offering up his own statements. Nothing will happen here.

So he leaves. He lets himself wander down the familiar and unfamiliar paths, both at the same time, and ends up in a place that is familiar.

He sits down in Ichiraku, and he watches Teuchi and Ayame and they look up and smile like he never left. “Sasuke!” Ayame greets him, older now, changed and different. “Do you want your usual?”

Sasuke blinks at her. “My… usual?”

Teuchi smiles. “You think we’d forget?”

Sure enough, they set down a bowl of dashi ramen in him but minutes later - the same thing he had preferred to order as a child, so many years ago. “...Thank you,” he says, and he eats.

The issue with Ichiraku is: it’s popular. When he had been younger, people knew that Team 7 could often be found there - Naruto is friends with the rest of their agemates, with the rest of Konoha, far more than he ever used to be… It makes sense that he would frequently populate here with his friends, that others would become used to this place as well.

Nor is it as if there weren’t others here back then, too - Ichiraku did thrive.

So he shouldn’t be that surprised when Akimichi Chouji draws back the curtain, and yet he is. They stare at each other, both clearly caught off guard, and then Akimichi relaxes.

He had called him Chouji, once upon a time, but he’s not sure if he’s able to now - an idea which is quickly clarified. “Sasuke,” Chouji says, and he gives a small smile. “Didn’t expect you.”

Sasuke has no idea what to say to him. “Mm,” he hums, picking up another batch of noodles. “Got tired of the yelling.”

Chouji looks like he’s unsure if he can laugh at that or not, and he awkwardly chuckles before sliding into a seat right next to him. “Do you mind if I join you?” he asks. “Food’s best with other people.”

For a moment, Sasuke doesn’t reply. Then, letting his noodles drop back into the bowl because he needs to focus on this conversation, he frowns at him, very slightly. “You’re being very friendly,” he says.

Chouji is a friendly person - but very few know of the truth of Konoha, know why Sasuke did what he did and still does what he does, very few have truly woken up to the realities of the shinobi world, and if Chouji is one of them, Sasuke was not made aware.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Chouji asks, though - and when Sasuke creases his forehead just slightly because he can think of quite a few reasons, the other ninja flushes, just a touch. “Well… I don’t know you well, Sasuke,” he says, because it’s true. “But I know Naruto and Sakura and Sai. They trust you.”

Sasuke doesn’t quite know how to reply to that, and Teuchi sets a bowl of ramen in front of the other. “I know you wanted to destroy Konoha,” he says, as if everyone doesn’t know and if everyone doesn’t shy away in the streets, doesn’t look away like he’s a madman. “But… you don’t now, right?”

Chouji isn’t the only one waiting on an answer. Teuchi and Ayame hover, as well, and Sasuke lets his chopsticks fall, clatter into his bowl, his hand dropping to rest on the counter instead. He curls it into a fist. “I do,” he says, because he does. It burns within him, every piece of these falsehoods, every scrap of the lies that people have swallowed about Konoha and about the rest of the shinobi world.

He wants to tear down the false promises made, the ideals that were never true by those such as Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama, wants to rend this place of lies and death and torture and good little child soldiers, marching in time for those that will send them off to their deaths for nothing but money.

Sasuke meets Chouji’s eyes, and refuses to look away.

He’s surprised - it’s clear. It wasn’t the answer that he expected. Teuchi and Ayame are quiet, and Sasuke doesn’t want to turn and see what their expressions are, see what has fallen upon their faces in such a way.

But after a moment, Chouji’s face firms into determination. “Well,” he says. “Then you’ve got a reason, right?” He pauses for a moment, considers, and then puts his hand on Sasuke’s, big and warm. Sasuke twitches, but doesn’t pull away. “Tell me why.”

Sasuke looks at Chouji, at the determination set in his face, the warmth resting on his hand. He glances over and sees Ayame and Teuchi, faces open and warm and ready to listen.

“Alright,” he says, and he tells them everything.

[barid-bel-medar]

Let’s Chat AUs and Possible AUs

Ongoing

Crimson and Emerald

Let’s be real, you all know what this is

Legacies and Curses

Fun fact Hinata started as an almost character for ‘Favored by Fire’

Hero Shigaraki, bonus Todochild, and all the possible havoc you could think of happening with those two as Izuku’s older siblings.

Witch of the Woods

Fantasy AU

Inko’s Era

Izuku’s Ear

Haven’t I Seen You Before?

In which everyone, hero and villain, noticed Izuku before UA

Disappeared

Oh where or where did All For One go? Apparently to get married and raise a family. And accidentally succeed in breaking hero society without even trying.

Reset the Clock

Team Seven and Sai are sent back in time, deaged back to being little kids. As a result of Hashirama discovering random lost children, including a mini Uzumaki with cuddling a kitsume, a pink haired girl with Mokuton, and what seem to be two tiny Uchiha, said children are all adopted into the Senju main family (aka Hashirama and Mito adopt Sakura and Naruto, and Sasuke and Sai latch onto a very confused Tobirama)

Madara may or may not survive seething hatred from toddlers

Izuna may be constantly blamed for Sasuke’s existence.  

Future/Possible

This Time We’re Ready

Inko goes back in time to just a few hours before All For One (her husband Hisashi) ‘finds’ Tenko Shimura and turns him into Shigaraki Tomura. Instead, she finds and rescues him, and then goes on the run with him, eight months pregnant with Izuku

Along the way she fixes things, including making Enji get his head out of his ass, scaring the shit out of Gran Torino by mistake, confusing All Might and terrifying her husband (who has no clue who ‘kidnapped’ his civilian wife)

Oh, and rescues a few other children along the way, including the still alive older sister of Tenko’s

Copy Cat

Remix of CWEL

Aoi returns to Japan while Neito is only six, and rekindles at least her friendship with Inko 

Unintended rivalry sparks between Neito and Katsuki for Izuku’s attention (even if Katsuki will never admit it)

Aoi unintentionally breaks a part of the government and then gets stuck being in charge of fixing it

Kiyome and Hawks get back to their family much faster

Inko is much less willing to put up with her husband’s secrets.

Meet Sooner than Later

Where at age eight Neito meets a Quirkless Izuku, and at age ten they meet Hitoshi and Mei. They proceed to prove they are a terrible foursome for anyone’s sanity, no one should trust their survival instinct, and their parents have a geniune concern that once they reach UA they may break the school

This is a valid concern

The early meeting and absorption of one Todoroki Shouto into the gravity of one Midoriya Izuku

Some Say in Ice

A universe in which Rei refuses to let Enji break their children (or her). She succeeds in making people know what Enji was doing to her, shakes the bedrock of hero society, and finds a way so there’s never a Dabi, only a Yuki Touya

Everything she does though starts to draw attention from what aren’t necessarily the sorts of people she wants it from.

On the Prowl

Aaron Davis is supposed to die from a bullet to the back after refusing to kill his nephew Miles. Instead he survives, having put on the ‘heavy duty’ version of his costume, the one intended for dealing with heroes like Punisher who actually use guns. As a result he lives, and Miles has a former villain-uncle to mentor and back him up. 

Jefferson would on the other hand like to know when his family’s life became a comic book.

A Sea as Red as Sunset

Shanks is the younger brother of Kushina, and ended up in West Blue by chance after Uzushio’s fall. After meeting Luffy the Red Haired Pirates end up trapped in a storm that guides them Uzushio’s ruins. Where Shanks manages to accidentally trigger a ward letting all the other Uzumaki and related Uzushio citizens know ‘come back home we’ve got safety again’. Shanks ends up an Emperor and Kage, in charge of more things than he’d like, and steals all the Uchiha, the remnants of the Senju, and Naruto. Oh, and eventually Kakashi and Tenzo

Rather obviously, this changes a lot of things, including a very unexpected alliance between villages, Orochimaru’s plans getting fucked over six different ways, and Zetsu wanting to throttle a lot of people

Mihawk unintentionally saves the Seven Swordsmen via wanting to fight good swordsmen

Several Outrigger stories

Uchiha Izumi and Uchiha Ayame traveling the seas, trying to figure out what is going on, including the mystery of a woman called Viper

During the fall of Uzushio, some Uzumaki didn’t end up dying or getting scatter through out the shinobi continent. Some (and by some I mean one) ended up in Tortall during Thom and Alanna’s era

Foxes, Hawks and Ravens

The first ripple is Berelaine deciding to try for Mat, and Mat finding he’s more than willing to go along with her. A few answers are different from the Finn, and they’re going to have a very interesting time of things. 

Oh, and Asmodean doesn’t die because I fucking refuse

Replace and Take

Yeah, we’re going to leave this as All For One is a massive and creepy bastard, Inko does not have a good time of things, and it’s going to be the Halloween fic for a reason, since horror is the right time of year for this.

[evilkitten3]

#but also add the medical Nin here too bc that’s still beating sexism

the mednin were excluded bc we wanted to see which women made it to official jounin rank without falling into the women-as-healers trope, so adding them would be somewhat counterproductive. (iirc this whole thing started bc of kurenai, which is why she's at the top of the list. the qualifications - must appear in naruto manga, must be confirmed jounin at some point in the generally understood naruto timeline, must not be a medical ninja, etc - were based on her, so women who otherwise might have been counted may have gotten disqualified from this specific list)

that said, in order to get to this point, we did round up as many naruto manga canon women as we could find, so here are the ones that didn't make the cut ("confirmed" is short for "last known confirmed rank"):

confirmed jounin mednin: senju tsunade, haruno sakura, shizune, mabui, sarutobi biwako

confirmed tokubetsu jounin (non-mednin): mitarashi anko, inuzuka tsume

confirmed chuunin (non-mednin): hyuuga hinata, karui, shiho, tenten, tessa, nara yoshino, suzume, sarutobi mirai

confirmed chuunin (mednin): yamanaka ino, nohara rin, inuzuka hana (she's only a mednin for animals but sadly that does still count)

confirmed genin (non-mednin): kin tsuchi, matsuri, sari, inaho, matsuri (the other one), uchiha sarada, akimichi chouchou

confirmed anbu (non-mednin; rank otherwise unknown): uzuki yuugao, gazeru

confirmed anbu (mednin): yakushi nonou, taji

confirmed kage (non-mednin, no other known rank): terumii mei

confirmed academy student: futaba, ami, fuki, hibari, kasumi, uzumaki himawari

no confirmed rank (non-mednin): uzumaki kushina, uzumaki mito, ootsutsuki kaguya, konan, utatane koharu, fuu, senju touka, white snake sage, tayuya, yurika, miru

no confirmed rank (mednin): hakui

no confirmed rank (not confirmed mednin or possibly even nin-nin but at least med-adjacent): uzumaki karin, otoha, kaori

civilians and presumed civilians: tsunami, uzumaki fusou, keiri, tamae, tami, ayame, agari, ageha, ibara, uchiha uruchi, emi, emiru, okyou, madam shijimi, susuki, sumire (not the bort one), nae, tamaki, tsubaki, nekobaa, momiji, yui

anyway, there you have it - the ladies of naruto. all not very many of them

shoutout to the twelve (12) naruto women who are confirmed to be jounin and are also not medical ninja! (thanks to @tora-the-cat for compiling the naruto women list with me)

yuuhi kurenai

temari

samui

pakura

ringo ameyuri

kurotsuchi

nii yugito

uchiha mikoto

umino kohari

maki

kazamatsuri moegi

hyuuga hanabi

you did it, ladies! you beat sexism!

[godaime-obito]

my fill for @kakaobiweek2019 day 14: free day. im on my monster bs; enjoy konoha plus 100% more gorgons and witches

Obito hasn’t been back to Konoha in a long time. Not since before the cave, and the witch, and the curse. But as much as he dreads being back here, risking seeing familiar faces, he can at least be sure there won’t be any more witches. At least not ones like Kaguya was. The city has an excellent grasp on its supernatural population. Thank you Tobirama Senju: master of regulation and city planning.

The streets are the same as he remembers, dimly lit by old lights, but some of the stores have changed. Obito wonders how many closures and grand openings he missed the last decade and a half. His favorite dango stand is gone, and it makes him feel exceptionally old for only being 28. It’s silly of him; it was just a little stand. He detours from his path to the administrative building, where he intends to register the type of supernatural being he is and, well, finally report in as not being dead, to check that Ichiraku’s Ramen is still there.

Dusk is falling over Konoha. It’s settling in to be a foggy night as well and the streets are emptier than he expected. Ichiraku’s banners wave in the slight breeze, barely illuminated by the shop’s single outdoor light. They’re still open, and he can hear customers talking inside. A shout, a giggle, and then a reprimand in familiar voice.

Obito would be lying if he said he didn’t recognize who the last voice was. It’s not too late for him to turn back to his original path, content in the knowledge the shop is still here. He doesn’t, instead he slips through the curtain and quietly takes a seat on the opposite end of the bar from the ones already there. Ayame comes to take his order. She’s about the same age as him. He remembers coming here with Sensei and Kushina-neechan and seeing her tracing her father’s steps, eager to learn the family business. She doesn’t recognize him. To her credit, he is wearing a mask.

He wonders if he’s changed too much to be recognized at all, even without the mask. He was already scarred when he woke up after Kanabi Bridge, but then the witch happened too. Uchiha aren’t supernatural, despite their eyes. He was normal until the curse. He still can’t believe he was turned into a gorgon. Logically he knew gorgons originated from a curse, but he thought nowadays they were all just descendants of the ones originally cursed, not that there were witches running around still using it all haphazard. He couldn’t remove the mask if he wanted to without temporarily or even permanently freezing anyone who isn’t also a gorgon, and he has to keep his hood up in case he gets emotional and his hair goes serpentine on him.

Never mind. He doesn’t want to linger on that. He’d even rather think about Kakashi. If Obito spoke loud enough for him to hear would Kakashi know his voice like Obito knew his? Does he want to be recognized? It would be better to go unnoticed, but at the same time he wants to be important enough to remember. Wants Kakashi to have retraced every memory of the team’s time together the way Obito has.

Glancing over, he catalogues the other customers. Kakashi and three others, all of them sitting together. The others are just kids. He can only see their profiles; A blond boy, a girl with pink hair, and a boy with black hair and a very Uchiha look. They’re eleven or twelve or thirteen. About the age he was when he last saw Kakashi. The man’s new team, for which he is the Sensei? He can’t imagine him teaching anything. But it’s been a long time. People change. Obito certainly has.

He can’t help repeatedly glancing over as he eats. He feels like a real creep, but Kakashi is right there. He looks so much like Obito imagined. Well, considering a portion of his imagining was just ‘the same mask covering half his face’ maybe that’s not too impressive. It seems like the others might be ready to leave the last time he looks over and his gaze lingers in preparation for it being his last chance to see them.

Kakashi glances his way before he finishes starring and catches him in the act. It’s embarrassing, but with the orange mask on he at least he can’t see the weird face Obito’s probably making. He quickly shifts his eye back to his ramen. Maybe Kakashi will just move on and forget the strange man with one eye and a bright orange mask staring him down during his team dinner? Yeah, right. He’ll probably track him down and bother him later. Obito had to get ramen and see him, and now he’s going to be dodging him every step of the way. Literally hunted by his past. He shouldn’t have pissed off Konan; he could still be in Ame, which is blessedly low on both witches and ghosts. Or at least low on ghosts from his past. Plenty of the other kind.

Obito manages to avoid seeing Kakashi again for a full week. A true testament to his greatly improved ninja skill. He couldn’t even avoid him a full day as a kid. He’s not so clumsy now, except perhaps in the moments he most needs to be graceful and said grace immediately abandons him. No, he doesn’t want to think about that.

His luck runs out on a bright and beautiful day at an open field used as a training ground. Obito isn’t actually training, just lying in the grass enjoying being alone, only to be suddenly not alone.

“Hello there,” a voice calls from a short distance away, “I’ve seen you around lately, but I don’t think we’ve been introduced.” Kakashi is standing at the edge of the trees bracketing the field, leaning lazily against one.

“To the contrary,” Obito replies, “I think we have been before. I couldn’t forget a mask as nice as yours.” He doesn’t move from his spot on the ground.

“Strange,” Kakashi says, “I don’t think I could forget one as livery as yours either, yet it doesn’t seem to ring a bell.”

“I suppose we met before I started wearing this mask,” he answers.

“Well then,” he exclaims, “You must introduce yourself! It’s only proper to do it again whenever you change masks.”

“Of course!” Obito says, rather enjoying their little façade of a conversation. “How about a trade?” he proposes.

“A trade?” Kakashi prompts.

“I’ll reintroduce myself if you take off your little mask,” he says, “Why I’ll even take my mask off too.” Ha. What do you have to say to that Kakashi? He’s worn that mask practically since birth and never shown anyone his face. Obito wouldn’t be surprised to find out Sakumo never saw his own son’s face.

“You drive a hard bargain,” he says with consideration, “I don’t know if seeing my face is good for your health.”

“Are you being vain or self-deprecating? “Obito wonders aloud, “Does that mean it’s too ugly or too beautiful to be seen?”

“Neither,” Kakashi says cheerfully, “Just too powerful. I have a very strong face you know.”

“What a coincidence! That’s also why I started wearing this mask.”

The air is tense in the field. They stare at each other waiting to see if either will break character or give in. He considers just taking off his mask for the satisfaction of seeing Kakashi frozen in place indefinitely. Obito wants to see Kakashi’s face even more than he wants to freeze him though. He sizes him up a moment and then finally stands up and moves towards Kakashi.

“How about I give you a few hints first?” Obito suggests, “We haven’t seen each other in more than a decade and I was born here in Konoha. He comes to a stop just in front of him. “Ring any bells?” he asks.

“I suppose it does a bit, but it’s still far too vague,” he answers. Kakashi’s tensed slightly after is approach, slight enough a less observant person would miss it.  

“Really?” Obito drawls, “How about this: Bakashi.” His heads jerks at the sound, utterly shocked, and he moves forward without thinking. He aborts halfway through a step towards him, but it’s too late. Obito snaps a hand toward him and grabs ahold of the top of his mask and pulls downward as Kakashi tries to step back again.

He is beautiful. However, Obito doesn’t feel particularly overpowered by it. Kakashi looks less like Sakumo than he thought he would, and he has a rather adorable mole below his lip. Oddly it almost sounds like he’s being hissed at. Kakashi’s mouth isn’t moving, but his hair is. He glances up at it. Snakes. He looks back down at Kakashi’s bewildered face.

“You’re… okay?” he says.

“What the fuck Bakashi. You never mentioned being a gorgon. We were teammates for years,” Obito complains and jerks off his own mask, tossing it on the nearby ground.

“O- Obito?” Kakashi says. He looks no less confused than a moment ago and his hair is still made of little silver snakes. They’re kind of cute. “It never came up? How are you okay? Where have you been all this time?” he adds. He doesn’t seem like any of this has sunk in yet.

“I was pulled out of the rubble by a plant creature. I wanted to come back, but then I got cursed and had to fight a witch to the death,” he explains, “It didn’t get rid of the main part of the curse though. Guess it’s permanent.”

“Curse? Permanent?” Kakashi questions. In response Obito yanks back his hood and allows it to transform. Unlike Kakashi’s short hair and snakes, Obito’s hair is long. He hasn’t bothered to cut it since he was crushed, and his meter-long pitch-black snakes twist out into the air around them. Their scales glimmer with a blue tint in the sunlight.

“Oh,” Kakashi breathes. “Are they poisonous?” he asks

“No. I… I didn’t know that was even an option,” Obito stutters, “the fuck. Could I have accidently poisoned myself with my own hair if they were? Fuck. Are yours poisonous?”

“No,” he replies and finally breaks out of his daze. Unfortunately for Obito, he does so in order to laugh at his bewildered outrage. “You can’t poison yourself. Gorgons are always immune to their own poison. Although, if anyone could have managed to do so it would be you,” he teases.

“It’s not funny Bakashi,” he says.

“Of course not,” he says still laughing. “I’m just… really glad to see you,” Kakashi says. The laughter abruptly cuts off. “I really thought you were dead,” he murmurs.

“But I’m not,” Obito assures him, “Sorry I’m late.” His snakes are getting awfully friendly with Kakashi, flashing their little tongues to smell him and winding around his arms to slither up him.

Kakashi looks intently at him, soaking in his face and scars, before stepping even closer. His silver snakes rub against Obito’s own snakes and brush against his forehead. Obito stand perfectly still as he waits to see what he’ll do. Even his snakes, who often have minds of their own, go still.

Obito inhales sharply as their lips press together. He shivers as he eagerly allows Kakashi to deepen the kiss, and his snakes seem to spring suddenly back to life. They wind around Kakashi’s own silvery ones, and do their best to loop around his torso as well. When their lips finally break apart, Obito is flushed a gasping lightly. Their lips are still only centimeters apart, as the entwined serpents prevent them from stepping away from each other.

“Just one thing,” he says, “Were you born a gorgon? Your dad definitely wasn’t a gorgon. Oh my god, he really didn’t ever see your face.”

“Yes, I was born this way. My mother was a gorgon,” Kakashi says with fond exasperation, “Aren’t there bigger things we should be addressing?”

“Well, since I won’t be leaving again,” Obito says, “I imagine we’ll have plenty of time to get around to whatever it is you think is important to talk about. But I want you to explain how these cheeky snakes work.”

This certainly didn’t turn out to be the reunion Obito was expecting. Honestly it went way better. He’ll take it, copious unexpected revelations and all.

 Kakashi’s hair snakes are conception bank silver boas & Obito’s are northern black racers