#School isn’t great
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THAT WILL ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE
THE LIL DUDE AND THE WAY HE SITS
IT KILLS ME
#i love asks#my pretty boyyyy#This el gee bee tea is doing meh 🤷♀️#School isn’t great#We just got assigned seats in math and I’m right behind my exes best friend#She and I used to be close but we lost contact a year ago#And now everything is just awkward
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The absolute funniest thing about the mormon mom’s show is that I knew each and every single one of them at some point in my life. Like their personalities are so very very typical mormon
#I hate the show but I’m watching it to say I did. it’s background noise#and Whitney was my best friend in high school#which in retrospect isn’t great#the immaturity is up there#the secret lives of mormon wives#exmo#exmormon
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very heroic, very plus ultra 🤭
#lovers lane#mha#my hero academia#my hero is over and i’m not ok#protect izuku midoriya#bkdk canon#bkdk#izuku midoriya#deku#bkdk has ruined my life#mha izuku#my hero#my hero fandom#fandom#i’m so sorry this isn’t funny at all#izuku would laugh#i love izuku midoriya#deku x dynamight#great explosion murder god dynamight#dynamight#deku vs kacchan#kacchan#kacchan of the bakugous#kacchan bakugou#decchan#izuku x katsuki#katsuki x izuku#plus ultra#all might#ua high school
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shows which were cancelled before their time and I will never stop being angry about: the get down, bbc class, timeless, sense8, 1899
shows which I think had a decent run or did tell their story well but really wish at more people knew about because they are criminally underrated: bad sisters (only meant to be one season), station eleven (ditto and soooo good), good behavior (only two seasons but where it went in those two seasons…)
shows with decent early seasons which ought to have been put down seasons before they ended from sheer mercy: supernatural, élite, la casa de papel, misfits
#If I think of any other I’ll add#One thing I wish people would realise is that television is a long form narrative but that doesn’t mean it’s not a narrative#There’s no ideal time for a show to run apart from the one that’s good for it’s story#I think timeless could have run for seasons and been great because it’s essentially got an internal self generating plot machine#(Although I think 5-6 is the max for any good show for the most part)#But elite as a high school drama should have ended with the original cast#As is the nature of many a high school drama. See the issue with misfits too#1899 is so rage inducing because it really was such a modest production like 3 seasons is fine!#And Netflix went nooooo#I guess misfits isn’t technically a high school show but it has the exact same issue with original cast and replacement cast
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I think my two week long headache is starting to get to me. Anyone have headache advice?
#I can… sort of function. Sort of#Behind the counter (prescription) migraine medicine made it go away#but… I can’t take it in the middle of the day#Because the one I tried side effects were… Not Great™️.. and I have a new one I’m scared to try#Funny how a persistent two week long light and noise sensitive headache can do to someone’s mental state#This isn’t even touching on how it blurs my vision real bad and I can’t see very well#Anyway I’m not dead so I’m fine.. probably#I have things to do.. school work to turn in.. and a computer screen to stab knives into my eyes with#All set for success. It’s totally fine
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There might not be art posted for a while. If you don’t have my Twitter it’s just me tweaking over math assignments (possibly a mix of depressive episode in there too. But fuck it we ball)
#Ermmm my odd way of telling you guys I’m going to take a small break?#I’m aware it isn’t a big deal and probably doesn’t matter but I’d still like to put it out there#I’ve been pretty stressed out for a while now so a small break is probably uhh needed#I have school I should probably be focusing on and im not that great at that anyways#vent post#slight vent
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Weekly(ish) update - 18th June 2023
I’ve moved out of my uni accommodation, saying goodbye to the city that has taught me so much after the past five years. So many other goodbyes: friends, lecturers, dance partners and teachers, silent goodbyes to the library and the spot where I always worked. I am glad to be moving forward though, it felt like it was time to move on.
#I did cru at the dance show because it’s the final one with my school yet I couldn’t perform because of my knee injury#which sucked#and yet I was so proud and happy#and angry and sad#and so so grateful for my friends#the knee isn’t doing great I’m getting an ultrasound as we’re not quite sure#I also leave for New York soon!#thinking about blogging about that experience#questwithambition#studyblr#studyspo#books#bookblr#student#university#coffee#currently reading#the inheritance trilogy#NK jemisin#it’s excellent
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ok i know u r all DYING to hear abt my topic for my 60 pg paper basically i had originally wanted to write abt creating a separate standard for women who have been abused killing their husbands other than self defense bc self defense has an imminence requirement that leads many women to be convicted of first degree murder for killing their abusive husbands. but someone in my journal wrote that last yr and even tho i could make a different argument i just felt like there was no way i wasn’t going to be preempted so i was like ok nvm. and there was a whole bunch of other ideas i came up w that were also preempted. but anyway i was really upset abt the first one being preempted but it came to me like a vision that i could write abt postpartum psychosis instead which is a somewhat similar issue in that the law doesn’t consider it bc it is an issue specific to women which leads to women being convicted of first degree murder & even getting the death penalty for killing their children while suffering from that. so i am going to write abt creating a specific standard for that other than the insanity defense which isn’t good enough and no one in my journal has ever written abt that & i haven’t seen any other articles written that make the exact argument i want to make so we are good 👍
#michelle speaks#ONLY problem that could arise is if someone wrote abt it last semester bc i can’t see what ppl wrote abt last semester. so if someone did#i’m just killing myself & dropping out of law school. in that order.#the only reason i could see someone having written abt that is bc there is a current case that has gotten media attention abt a woman who#had postpartum psychosis & killed her kids where the trial is like happening soon or it happened last yr i can’t remember at the moment#by happened last yr i mean the incident took place last yr not the case. bc the case prob isn’t happening this yr if so#that wasn’t why i thought of it but i know that case exists so someone might have written abt it bc of that. but i hope not 😭 bc as i said#i will simply have to kill myself bc i cannot take it anymore. i would like to write this paper on this topic pls 🤲#edit: i checked her trial is set for dec 2025 and she had her arraignment in feb hold on idk if it was 2023 or 2024 😭#ok the incident took place in 2023 so yeah. idk if it was feb i didn’t see what i say before when i checked again goes to show how much#i forget in literally 10 secs. the adhd short term memory loss is insane 😭#i guess it’s not THAT much current in the news that someone would have def seen abt it & written abt it ykwim. it’s a possibility tho#or someone might have just been like oh i want to write abt that for whatever reason. i hope not but yeah 😭#but anyway her lawyers r arguing the insanity defense so actually a great way to open my paper in the intro. bc every article on it i have#read has opened talking abt the andrea yang case from the late 90s so at least i will have a more modern example#which will set my paper apart from the others a little bit. bc it is very much abt setting urself abt 😩#APART. i cannot read or write or type or think or exist i SWEARRRRRR#i say that after i just wrote like a million words in these tags. doesn’t mean i am smart or competent tho! just means i can say so much 😔
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CW: mentions of blood, metions of self harm, also self deprecating talk, kind of gore? idk. i don’t really think so but ima be on the safe side!!!!
and suddenly i’m a little kid again.
scared and craving attention.
clawing at my skin, grasping at the blood
because at least it hugged me with some warmth.
suddenly, all at once, i believe nobody likes me and no one could ever want me
all the years of not wanting myself is starting to bleed from my brain into my eyes
it’s a deep dark red in my pupils and it paints my world
suddenly i don’t want the hug of my own insides
suddenly, all at once, all i want is two arms around me.
suddenly, and after all this time.
- um so guys ! i think there’s a reason dabi (and toga) is one of my fav characters😁
#writing#dabi#mha dabi#poetry i think#poetry#i wrote this in a change room at lunch at school#i’m doing great#im so mentally stable#so mentally stable you could park a horse in my brain#get it#i got that from a mha tweet thing on tt#i thought it was funny#i’m rambling#is it weird to post ur poetry on tumblr?#is it weird?#toga himiko#toga#himiko toga#this isn’t even mha#whoops
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ouran cowboy AU
Haruhi is working as a ranch hand at the Ouran Ranch; trying to learn more about cattle farming and trying to make it more humane. (Little Temple Grandin beatie)
Tamaki is obviously is poised to take over the ranch from his father, but grew up with his mom in burlesque theaters. While he’s home, he and Kyoya bought the saloon in town. They do Moulin Rouge style burlesque routines, but as boys for the female attendees in town.
Kyoya’s family is a long line of doctors, with his father being the current mayor if the town. His brothers help run the doctor’s office, with expectations of eventually becoming mayor.
Hani’s family has always been the sherriff, with Mori’s family always working as part of security.
The twin’s come from the town’s best seamstress family, and are always outfitted in the most modern outfits.
#ouran host club#ouran high school host club#its still ouran but with more focos on *living in a bubble*#haruhi is from out if town and thinks the way everyone is obsessed with each other is weird af#she’s from like the mountains or something#tamaki just plays matchmaker to everyone in town#and everyone who comes into town#hani’s story is exactly the same#but he’s also the greatest shot in the world#mori isn’t native american but the town is racist and they all think he is#so tamaki leans into it#and so he’s always..not great#and haruhi has to have like a full lesson why *no mori can’t wear a ceremonial headdress*
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genuinely central reason i can’t kill myself is because im determined to see how this thing (my life) pans out in case it ends up being great. committing to the bit but the bit is just my life
#when i was in secondary school i was like well what if college is great and it wasn’t but then i was like well what if uni is great and it#isn’t but now it’s like well what if my twenties are great. who knows!
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guys I cant
#apparently im dating Ethan#but he fucking confessed to me on call so i would’ve felt awkward if i said no#and the thing is i do like him#like i rlly do but he never texts me#hes sweet yk but when i text him half of the time he just ignores it#and when we’re on call he doesn’t even talk half of the time#he claims i make him happy but like words and actions don’t line up#and im really trying bro#i want to try but its already happened with Luis and Aiden and i cant anymore#they took fucking everything from me#i was genuinely like depressed after luis and aiden#but aiden is such a great person so i don’t understand why he just gave up#me and aiden were literally soulmates and it’s not even in a romantic way atp#we bonded so well together we never had an awkward stage or nothing#the first time i met him we were on call for an hr and it would’ve been longer if i didn’t have to go#i feel so drained and awful all the time#i dont understand#and life isn’t even bad i just can’t do this#and i have no reason why#everythings overwhelming and stresses me out#school makes me cry#i don’t feel comfortable when im home#i wanna go back to wv#guys i miss my grandpa#i haven’t seen him in over a year because my aunt ‘cant handle’ going back to West Virginia#I get why but she don’t even have to go#she said she would send me and my sister on a plane by ourselves but then she just switched up and said no#everything is so exhausting#i can’t anymore
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God just saw a very lovely and introspective comic that’s like “I wonder what it’s like to be a salmon” taking the premise very seriously but like all I could think of was that magic school bus episode where miss frizzle turned all the kids into salmon eggs and had them inseminated by salmon and they were reborn as these hideous salmon head freaks and the kids were like “it’s great being a salmon!” And I laughed until I choked
#this is a very real episode of the magic school bus I have seen it and it’s every bit as disturbing and funny as I just described#but it’s destroyed my brain so sometimes I just think isn’t it great being a salmon quietly to myself now#I find the salmon to be quite the niezschian fish
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i think these two should kiss
#twt toxic girlie x twt toxic girlie yk—#in another life… i think they could’ve conquered the world together#the way their backstories are p much opposites of each other yet they somehow ended up in similar places (toxic idol twt) gets me every time#i think they had the potential to be a pretty sweet idol duo#like. asuna can be the aizo to chizuchan’s yujiro#since. y’know. going off their middle school backstories 1: asuna was popular and chizuchan had no friends#2: asuna auditioned to be an idol while chizuchan was scouted to be a model#3: the way asuna actively sought out solo gigs while chizuchan wanted *no* part of it#(s obs asuna w h y haseo isn’t even *that* great… yk who else is nice? mona—)#and 4: their hairstyles are matching (even though chizuchan’s is a wig)#and that’s not even getting into their opposite behaviours on idol twt#asuna openly disses others while chizuchan eggs on the haters just bc she can#anyways long story short i think they’d have been neat together. visual contrasts aside they could totally take on concon together#i miss concon and renren btw i hope they come back soon…#(idk if this even makes sense im t i r e d from day 1 of un-unemployment and i wish i could return to neet life alreadyyyyy)#anyways live love laugh toxic half twintail girlies that’s all bye#chizuutan chizpost
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I HAVE FEELINGS FOR A BOYMAN
#sooooooooo BASICALLY i haven’t really been as active as normal bc of school and yk taking 5 courses is not for the weak but i am strong in#Jesus Name AMEN!! so this update might seem a bit random but ya we move. sooo this guy isn’t to be confused with pool table guy from october#that guy is cool and all but we only ever talk about anime and he leaves me on delivered a lot sooo on to the next ig but this guy that i#have developed Feels for issssss hmmm well call him Friendly Giant ™️ (FG) bc he’s like taalll (6’1 ish?) and dark skin and cute and all but#like he looks intimidating but then has the softest deepest voice and it’s all like aaaawwwwww#but basically he’s just this big sweet guy and at first i thought we were just friends and all but then yk you kinda can’t beat the Just#Friends allegations when you ft call a girlie up on CHRISTMAS bc she’s trying to figure out how she’s going to cross the boarder BY HERSELF#bc her siblings are of no help AND THEN when said girlie ft calls you the next day yall stay on the phone for 4(!!!) hours and THEN you offe#r to reach her how to drive and you brought her soup when she got her wisdom teeth surgery and when she bought something using your prime u#said she didn’t need to pay you back and when she insisted said FG GUY SAID AND I QUOTE “LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR ONCE 🤯#LIKEEEEE#all this while tho i was in fairytale land thinking about how he’s such a great friend and la dee daa bc i didn’t think i was his type and#all that but then i was praying last night and the i was like Holy Spirit do i like this man? and He was like yes and you’re trying to#rationalize your feelings but you like him and he likes you#so nooowwww i’m all like 🙂👍🏾🥳😳😳😳😳😳😳#YK?????????!!!!!!#but ya that’s the latest update 😚#i like a guy and he likes me 🥹😶😃👍🏾😳🤯#mutuals my beloved <3#vk overshares in the tags
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I’m realizing that with the way I interact with the real world, I could very much make the case of being an alien trying to learn about and blend in with the human race
I don’t know if that makes sense, but the way I act sometimes, you’d think I don’t know what a person is
#I’m not saying this as a negative thing#well I mean okay objectively it probably isn’t great#but this isn’t like a put myself down sort of thing#I just act strange#no wonder that one girl genuinely thought I was homeschooled#also you guys probably don’t see that much of it#because here I can act semi normally (or at least normally for tumblr)#but take me out of my element and put me in the real world?#yeah no#I don’t know what I’m doing#so I must observe#learn to blend in#hmm maybe I could make that into a narrative for Creative Writing#quite literally have my main character be an actual extraterrestrial trying to observe humans#file that idea away#real life stuff#school stuff#random stuff
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