#SORRY FOR SPILLING SO MUCH

[inkskinned]

idaho is already moving to repeal same-sex marriage. they say it's an overreach of the governmental power, and that the law should be determined by "state's rights".

trump is expected to sign an executive order banning trans women in women's sports. in the article i've linked there, he notes that the "biggest hand" (most applause) he gets is when he attacks trans women. isn't that interesting.

i know my own father voted for him. my own father, radicalized by podcasts and bad youtube, voted for this; felt smug about it. he genuinely believes the dems want to "put christians in camps." as if the dems could ever get off their silken asscheeks and actually do anything. i wish they had strong enough messaging to be misattributed like this.

my girlfriend and i worked the polls on election day, counting ballots. my father was eating noisily beside us. "see? you're freaked out about nothing." after all, i live in massachusetts: beautiful, expensive, no-working-transportation MA. the only state to go all-blue.

"if it's state's rights, you'll be fine," he said. i'd been sworn at a few days before this. a year ago almost to the day, i got hit in the head with an empty beer bottle. he said i was being dramatic. after all, first-adopter "the gay state" Massachusetts would rather explode than get rid of same-sex marriage. so what should i care, after all.

this man is a deacon. i guess he expects me not to get out of the car in any red state. i guess he thinks my relationship dissolves across certain borders. he doesn't see why it's concerning that i can't leave, because why would i want to. who wants to go to idaho? who cares about the real, living, breathing people in idaho.

(but then again: who cares about the real, living, breathing humans on deportation planes. they're not us. after all, my father came here legally. i am an american citizen because of birthright citizenship. i am even debating this because he immigrated.)

i texted my mom about it. i feel sick. no matter how much activism and research and outreach i do: it's always shocking to see a room full of people who hate you so much that they take legal action against you. on my small ex-work-laptop, i watch the shaking hands of people in idaho begging their representatives to reconsider. the fear in their voice is palpable. no person should have their relationship threatened this way. the motion still passes, 46-24.

it's all just happening so fast. i feel i am pushing my hands through glass pieces, watching the cuts before i feel them.

people often reference "first they came for..." when stuff like this happens, and while that's fair - there's a very quiet part of me that always says they're already at your door, you complete idiot. the same force that governs trans women's bodies will also be used against cis women. the censorship about supposed "DEI terms" will also be used to stifle science in general.

it won't just be idaho.

[fraternum-momentum]

your insides are so pretty. [♡]

[caprart1]

Something about Sephiroth having heal and revival materia is so trivial yet does a weird thing for me... those hands used to be capable of good

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems

[kaleidoru]

when we were happy

[poeteunoia]

"grief is just love with no place to go"

(jamie anderson)

"i this hope grief stays with me because it's all the unexpressed love that i never got to tell her..."

(andrew garfield)

Credits: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Notes on Grief / C.S Lewis: A Grief Observed / Shannon Barry quote via @academia-aesthetics / Fleabag 2016 / Jamie Anderson quote / One Day 2024 / Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun / Little Women 2019 / Amanda Gorman, Call Us What We Carry / WandaVision 2021 / Andrew Garfield quote / Ocean Vuong quote, source / Up 2009 / Lang Leav: September Love via @academia-aesthetics / "the grief is never ending but so is the love" monkey meme / commemorative bench plaque in Central Park, New York, photo:© Neva Micheva / Valarie Kaur, See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love / Glennon Doyle Leyton: Love warrior / Hotel Del Luna 2019 / Heidi Priebe: As Long As There Is Love, There Will Be Grief

[whereismyhat5678]

HOLY. SHIT.

I don’t even wanna separate these?? TAKE THE WHOLE SHEET I’M SO PROUD OF IT WHAT????

I was playing around with expressions and OMG, I think I unlocked something???

It was mostly from yesterday’s post, I liked the way I drew Pizza Head so I decided to try drawing him again (since it’s been a while) AND GOD I LOVE THESE‼️‼️‼️ Seriously started out rough but then I just kind rolled with it! I like it! I like it a lot‼️ 😆😆

Also since I drew Brick yesterday as well, I decided to change the way I draw him, just a bit 🤏

Today was so fun AAAHHH!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞💞

[azhar456]

i never asked for anything my entire life, but now i don't really want anything. i just need one thing that is to feel okay

[aquiescentmoon]

I am haunted by a memory from my high school, on this fine Wednesday afternoon 😮‍💨 ( Ig, I have to schedule a crying session in my jam packed day)

The day when I am no longer the french teacher's pet. He asked us to fill a questionnaire and he thought I would have written the correct answer (as I was his trusted A+ student) and looks at my answer and goes "There is no word like in this french" in a deadbeat tone, aloud in the middle of the classroom, it was so embarrassing. He didn't stop there and to add more salt to the injury, he goes, "You literally made up a french-looking word, but it's not a french word" bro 😭 stop, I am already crying internally. He looked at me so disappointed, from then he stopped asking me for answers.

The word was 'qont' and it was a questionnaire to file que and its branches. He was one of the good things I looked forward to in hs, after my best friend. He always encouraged me to score more marks in other subjects too, so that i could be a valedictorian but i only know how to disappoint others.

[noxiousgrace]

Cale henituse taking an edible and forgetting he no longer lives in the 21st century

In the year of our lord 783 of the felix calendar (wait is felix the jesus of the raon kingdom??? Why'd the year count start w that guy)

This is krs!cale by the way

-------

Cale, lowkey woozy: bro...

Ron: yes, young master-nim?

Cale: did you put weed in my brownies?

Ron: no? Why would i put invasive plants in your snacks? *Confused benign chuckle*

Cale: why.. *smacks lips* why is the world so topsy turny ron? Hm?

Ron: ah, it must be the sleeping herbs.

Cale: no, you just gave me an edible.

Ron: ...is it not supposed to be edible?

Cale: *snort* that's something a boomer would say

Ron: a what?

Cale: *waves hand* whatever, you wouldn't understand internet culture anyway.

Ron: *is honestly just confused*

Cale: *already forgot about the subject at hand* i remember this one time i was in highschool *snort*

Ron:....?

Cale: i was with a bunch of kids, theatre kids, and we all did *snort* edibles and thought it would be fun to play truth or dare

Ron: young mas-

Cale: *talking over him* and well, I didn't think it was a good idea cuz we were probably gonna do something stupid and like *wheeze* we made this one guy dress up as eric cartman *absolutely losing it, smacking his knee and laughing*

Ron: *honestly thinks cale is hallucinating at this point and is debating on calling a priest*

Cale: and we fuckin made him sing an entire lady gaga album, can you immaaagiineeee?? *Wheeeeze*

Cale: and oml what he did after was insane! So we didn't get off very well so he thought it would be sooo funny to like... *He looked up at the ceiling, completely losing the plot again* hehsh did i ever tell you this ceiling lowkey looks European

Cale: *starts mumble singing* gay or europeeaann,, it's hard to guaranteeee,,, is he gay or europeeeann???

Ron: *has already left the room in order to get someone to help cale*

---

*cale has migrated into the library*

Priest: young master-nim pleas-

Cale: whyyyy did you get an entire squad of exorcists in here ron????

Ron: young master, you're not yourself *he actually looks concerned*

Cale: *wheeze* what are you? Y/n???? My coworker wasn't crazy after all,,,

Ron: ...??

Cale: No because drinking games are crazy

Cale: anyway i miss mmorpgs man *sigh* i miss my wife tails

Ron: wife???

Cale: *ignoring him* pink fluffy uniiicorns dancing on rainbooows *knows this song from the one time he had to babysit the neighbors kid*

---

The day after

-

Ron: young master-nim

Cale: *jumps out of his skin because of rons sudden appearance* what????

Ron: what is a boomer? You were saying a lot of funny things yesterday.

Cale: *sweating bullets* I've been having weird dreams lately???

Ron: uhuh *it's obvious he doesn't believe cale but just leaves it alone for now*

[wernerherzogs]

Is it a coincidence that Ryan is interacting with weird Christian/trad wife/men and women are different yet need each other/right wing content as buddie canon is seemingly imminent?

anon genuinely. don't do this to yourself friend. you'll never know what's going on in his life and how he feels about it and whether he's in a good place right now, or a bad one. you can only hope for the best, but you'll never have a say in it, and i'd recommend largely ignoring the celebrities' real lives

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[lesbianfakir]

Mytho fans id like to issue a formal apology. I realized I, too, know how it feels to have your special little guy mischaracterized and trampled over by his own damn media and now everyone hates him but YOU understand you understand him and they’re wrong they’re all wrong and also there’s this other guy everyone insists is better like it’s a competition and it’s really annoying and you just want everyone to see your pookie bear the way you see him. I understand. I’ve always understood. I am a better man now.

[wandixx]

Serious chaos one-shot snippet

“Hey, Dami?”

Boy hadn’t looked up from kittens he was bottle feeding but let out hum indicating he listened.

“I think about trying out more girlish style. Do you think it would suit me?”

Well, Damian had no idea but if Dani wished to give it a chance, then, well, the only appropriate course of action was to offer his aid.

Also features: Dani and Damian working at an animal shelter, Steph being fashionable, and Batman's rouge gallery and no, it's not a spelling mistake :)

[towriteabutch]

ode to winston, 12/7/23

winston, for reference:

[basil-eats-rocks]

do you know how beautiful it is? life and death and music and loving somebody until your blood tires of moving and you are in the earth together?