#SOMEBODY get this man to process his grief

[tending-the-hearth]

thinking about how ponyboy passing out right after dally's death must have been absolutely horrifying for darry.

they had just lost johnny, and dally was dead on the ground in front of them, and then his baby brother just collapses out of nowhere, because dally didn't know ponyboy was sick, so all of a sudden his baby's unconcious, and he has to deal with the gut-wrenching fear that he's possibly lost ponyboy as well, and yet again darry's unable to process his own grief because god forbid something happen to ponyboy and he's not in the right state of mind.

[misstwisted]

ALRIGHT I JUST FINISHED TRAP AND I LOST MY FUCKINGN M I N D *spoiler warning of course*

YALL

Y A L L

I WAS DOING EVERYTHING TO KEEP MYSWLF FROM GOING APESHIT. TRAP WAS N O T WHAT I WAS EXPECTING (IN A WONDERFUL WAY). THAT WAS AMAZING. I JUST GOT OUT THE THEATER AND I STILL HAVENT PROCESSED IT FULLY.

FOR SOME CONTEXT/BACKSTORY, I WAS OBSESSING OVER THIS MOVIE FOR WEEKS. I WAS TALKING ABOUT IT TO WHOEVER LISTENED. MY BOY YOU KNOW THAT MEME WHERE THAT PERSON WAS LIKE “I’m sorry for the person I’ll become when I watch this?” DAWG THAT WAS WHAT I WAS FEELING LIKE

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY BUT ILL TRY TO FRAME MY THOUGHTS THE BEST I CAN IN THIS

IT WAS INSANE. IT FELT LIKE WHIPLASH GOING FROM THESE CUTE MOMENTS OF A FATHER AND DAUGHTER AT A CONCERT MEANWHILE HE WREAKS HAVOC TO FUCKING CHAOS.

IT FELT LIKE THE MOVIE WAS UNRAVELING THE MORE I WATCHED IT. IT WAS ALSO SURPRISINGLY FUNNY.

I GOTTA BE HONEST, I LOVE COOPER. I WENT IN KNOWING I WAS GONNA LIKE HIM TO FEELING GUILT AND SHAME FOR BEING HAPPY HE ESCAPED. HE WAS SUCH A SILLY GUY FOR A SERIAL KILLER AND I WAS SO CURIOUS TO SEE WHERE HIS CRIMINAL ANTICS WOULD GO. I WAS HOOKED TO THAT SCREEN.

BEUH I WAS CONVINCED FOR A SECOND COOPER COULD TELEPORT BECAUSE HOW????? HOW WAS HE ABLE TO ESCAOE THAT CAR. IS HE ALSO A MOTHERFUCKING ESCAPE ARTIST ON THE SIDE BECAUSE I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED. I’m glad the genre of “serial killing men with mommy issues” is still going strong. I love how he genuinely cares for his kids. He’s now apart of my mental list of evil characters who are still better than my dad. Honestly if he didn’t over react he could’ve left with his daughter without any grief 😭. Like dawg just walk out the back door like you planned.

SPEAKING OF SURPRISE I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED AT THE PERFORMANCES, ESPECIALLY JOSH. WHEN I WATCHED THE TRAILERS I IMAGINED HE’D DO PRETTY GOOD, BUT HE BLEW ME AWAY. I CANT BELIEVE THIS WHOLE MOVIE TURNED ME INTO A NEW JOSH HARTNETT FAN. I WAS STRAIGHT UP LIKE “DUDE SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN AN OSCAR”

ALSO THAT SCENE WITH KID CUDI MADE ME CACKLE I LOVE HIM JUST CASUALLY FLIRTING WITH COOPER “MURDEROUS DILF” ADAMS IN FRONT OF HIS DAUGHTER BECAUSE LIKE SAME. And I love that cooper isn’t freaked out by it, he literally looks like this has happened to him a million times.

I think this movie changed me in a weird way and I might wreak havoc for the next couple months on this blog with content with it because oml I’m so glad I enjoyed it. Josh Hartnett I haven’t known you/followed you through your career for long but everything about this role you did was perfect and I’m sure your fans are just as proud of you as I am. I made a damn bracelet about you and everything.

honestly I still don’t know if I’ve said everything I needed/wanted to say about this movie yet so PLEASE people talk to me about this movie I’m begginggggg. I’m so glad I kept a positive mind about this film. M NIGHT I LOVE YOU THANK YOU.

but now I have a weird feeling of lost, like, I wanted to see this movie so bad and now I did and it’s over. And next on my theater watch is the crow remake and now I’m like “fuck, now I’m gonna watch a movie I’m gonna HATE.”

also whoever decided to have Josh take his shirt off in the hottest way in the movie for no reason and also put it in the trailer…:

Also I’d like to report that movie theater popcorn still makes me feel sick BUT I KEEP COMING BACK TO IT.

[aninspiringwriter]

"Injured and Grief" Injured gn!Reader x Raiden

Summery: Y/n gets an injury and Raiden saves you, and maybe due to the herbs used to heal you, you confess your love

Word count: 713

Tw: Blood, angst, guilt.

Also this is in second person

Thanks to spartasghost15 for this idea

"Y/n! Y/n!" You would hear a voice yell for you. Raiden is able to pick you up as your injury pours out, a large gashing sword wound at your stomach. Raiden's own clothes getting stained with your blood as he runs towards the medical ward.

"Hold on Y/n! Please don't leave me yet, we are almost there" Raiden says, carrying you as you enter a state of dizziness, trying to keep your eyes open to not worry Raiden further, besides, he thinks this injury was his fault. As soon as you two enter the medical ward, they immediately take you out of Raiden's arms, but what pains you more than the wound is hearing the Thunder god's voice break and ache at the fact he can't currently be with you during this tough time. Your eyes close and the voice of Raiden fades out, you are in a mid consciousness and can hear certain things, mostly Raiden's voice.

"Oh I am so sorry Y/n." You hear out of Raiden's lips. "This is all my fault, all of it." You hear out of his mouth, his voice rash, and out of his nature, he was protective, but blaming himself for an injury you got, that was truly out of anything you have seen. You can hear his tears and sniffles, you can even feel some of his tears hit your chest. You can hear Raiden talk to somebody, then you fully fall out of consensus.

When you woke up, you felt a hand inside of yours. Raiden. It had to have been at least 4 hours and he hadn't left your side. He was sleeping, his face so peaceful but his eyes were of dried tears. He wasn't wearing his hat, his hair flowing and... His clothes are still stained with your blood, clearly his guilt is still carried. You try not to twist your giant wound as you run your bandaged left hand in his hair, his head jolts awake by your hand stroking his hair. Raiden looks at you, processing at first, then into full panic or guilt? Whatever herbs the medical ward gave you was strong, but Raiden's fear was real. "Oh Y/n! You are ok, I am so sorry, so so sorry, this is my fault." Raiden says, referring to the now bandaged wound caused by a sword. You stop running your fingers through his hair for a little, his eyes once filled with dried tears now becoming wetter as new ones fill his eyes, his demeanor is so different now. Just hours before this injury, he was smiling and happy with you, now he was crying and needing to be comforted like a broken man. You try to calm him down, but he is hysterically crying now. You hear him rant about how this wound is his fault even though it isn't, it wasn't any of their faults. "Raiden, please listen to me, it isn't your fault, none of it is your fault, none of this is your fault." You say, your voice is calmer than Raiden right now.

Raiden just looks at you, his puppy dog eyes look at you with guilt. You decide to pull Raiden closer, Raiden believes at first that you wanted a hug. He puts his hand on the side that doesn't have the gash wound, but he is caught by surprise when you kiss his forehead, you could've sworn you saw little lighting sparks out of Raiden's hand. His face now a shade of maroon, "Why? Why would you… kiss my forehead?" Raiden asks sheepishly, small sniffles leave his nose. How would you respond to your own feelings to the Thunder god? "Because Raiden I… I lo-" You try to say, I love you and yet" these feelings are trapped in your mouth. "I love you…" the words finally spill out of your mouth.

Raiden's face turns a scarlet red, he cannot believe that you feel love for him. "You… feel love for me?" Raiden asks you in disbelief, but before you can speak Raiden pulls you into a forehead kiss. "I… feel the same Y/n." Raiden says, his eyes dried with tears again, then you and Raiden share a bittersweet, yet more sweet than bitter kiss.

[knight-princess]

I’ve had the start of this in my drafts for ages, suddenly inspired to finish it tonight. Might be just it’s own standalone thing or it might be chapter one, I don’t know yet. It follows the finale, with the group leaving the Immemorial City, setting off home, and is from Airk’s point of view. The header is by hgstuff

Airk trudged along in silence. Everything had fallen quiet now, weariness and grief weighing the mood down. He didn’t know if the silence was easier to bear than the quiet laugher had been, the bickering he couldn’t share. Sure, his sister had walked with him for a bit, and her worried glance often strayed to him, even as she walked step in step with Jade. But . . . they were a unit, his sister and these, who had come on the quest to rescue him. Trials and hardships had hammered them together into a whole. Even the way they moved, the way they walked, aware of each other, reminded him of nothing so much as the many limbs of some great beast. But he . . . Well. Everything was so confusing. So much had happened. He couldn’t get his thoughts to stay still long enough to sort any of them out. He wondered if he ever would.

“Hey, question,” the man’s voice seemed loud compared to the quiet the group had fallen into as they walked deeper into the darkening evening. Boorman, that was it. Somebody had called him Boorman. Did the name ring a bell, somewhere in the mess of his memory? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t ask. “How’re we getting back up the waterfall?”

Airk frowned. He didn’t remember a waterfall. But then, he didn’t remember much at all of the journey to the city. What did he remember? He forced his thoughts in order, a purposeful search of a ransacked room. He remembered claws, clutching his ribs so tightly he thought they’d crack. He remembered clouds, and cold. Whatever they had flown over, if he had noted anything at the time, it was lost to him now.

The silence stretched. Then, “I don’t know why you’re all looking at me,” Willow grumbled. It was strange, seeing him here, the Willow Ufgood, from his dads stories. Airk was having a hard time processing that, too.

“Oh I don’t know,” Boorman said. “World famous Willow Ufgood, most powerful sorcerer, fixer of all problems. No reason.”

“Boorman. Shut up.”

The Wyrm had feared Willow Ufgood. He could feel the thought, oily slick, somewhere in his mind. It horrified him, the sudden feeling of fear and resentment that thrummed through his blood. Not mine, he told himself. Deny it, hide it, cover it. Not mine. He tried to focus, to separate the feeling from his dads hero stories of the man.

Boorman was still talking. Airk knew he’d missed something of what the man had been saying, but then, nobody else was paying him much mind either. “Oh yeah,” he carried on, “let’s all jump off the cliff at the end of the world, with no idea how to get back. Great idea guys. Good planning. You know, I was kinda joking when I said that next time I should plan the quest, but now I’m really thinking -”

“Boorman, shut up.” Elora this time, and for a wonder, Boorman did fall silent. Perhaps it was the hollowness of her voice. She looked terrible, worse and worse, the longer they walked. Her footsteps dragged, and a small flute hung limp from her hand. Her hair glinted red in the sunset. That, too, would take getting used to. Her gaze met his and jerked away. Airk sighed. There was a lot that would take getting used to. So much had changed.

“Guys.” Jade’s voice cut through the weary bickering. She and Kit walked close, his sister still decked in the armour that had come from gods knew where. Another adventure he hadn’t been party to. “We need to make camp,” Jade said. “Before it gets dark.”

They did not have much with them. Airk wondered if they had travelled the whole way so light, or perhaps lost their supplies along the way somewhere. It scarcely mattered. What they had, they put to use. Soon, a small, scrawny fire began to breath in a hollow they dug to safeguard it from the wind that swept them.

“Shame we can’t magic up some food,” Boorman muttered morosely. Clearly, what little they had had not been enough to satisfy him.

“No, can’t magic up food,” Elora repeated. She passed a wan smile between herself and Willow, who chuckled softly. More inside jokes. Airk tried to crush the resentment he felt. Why did he feel so angry? They’d come to rescue him, he reminded himself. The quest they’d bonded over had been for his benefit. He was free, free of the Wyrm. Wasn’t he?

“Airk? You okay?” Kit. Kit’s voice, raised in concern. He flinched, flashes of memory racing through his head. He recalled his sword striking hers, with all the strength he could muster. He recalled how he had gone to strike Elora, sitting exhausted before him, how angry he had been when Kit stood in the way. He recalled wanting her dead, with every fibre of his being. He tried to banish the memory. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want to remember that. He didn’t want that to ever have been part of him.

“Airk?” Kit called again.

Faces, he’d always been good at wearing faces. For the court, the nobles, his mother, the girls he distracted himself with, each a different face, each a different performance. So many faces he’d worn, over the years. He sometimes wondered if anyone had ever seen him. He pulled up a smile. “I’m fine,” he said through clenched teeth. He willed himself to believe it.

“People who are fine don’t usually sit alone in the dark when everyone else is gathered around the fire,” Willow murmured, not unkindly.

“Join us, Airk,” Jade said. She’d always been a steady one. She’d always been good for Kit, a good match, the rock to Kit’s wildfire. He wondered what their mother would think, of how close the knight sat to the princess, how their fingers laced together. He frowned, focusing for the first time today on what she wore. Her armour was unfamiliar too. He was suddenly daunted. Kit was changed, Jade was changed, and Dove, Elora, Elora most of all. She had spoken fair to him earlier in the day, of how glad she was to see him again. But in the hours they’d walked, she’d sunk into a deep melancholy that even the fire couldn’t thaw. He wondered if she were angry with him. He had raised a sword against her; he had helped the Crone attempt to trap her. He wouldn’t blame her if she hated him. She certainly didn’t join her voice to the others as they invited him. She just rubbed the flute in her hands and stared into the fire. He thought he saw a tear drip off her chin, but then, it could have been a trick of the rippling firelight.

He hesitated long. In the end, Boorman sighed, stood theatrically and, easy as picking up a kitten, lifted him by his jacket collar and swung him over to the fire. He found himself sandwiched between Boorman’s tall lanky frame and Kit. Boorman flashed him a grin. “You’re welcome,” he said, and went back to poking the fire.

A ghost of a smile flitted across Airk’s face. “And who are you, again?” he asked. He wondered when his voice had got so rusty.

“Oh no,” Jade lamented. “Don’t, don’t get him started, he’ll go on forever -”

But it was too late, and Boorman had begun an enthusiastic recounting of his entire life, seemingly from the moment of his birth. Airk listened, trying to enjoy being rescued, having his sister at his side again, the warmth and good fellowship. He tried to let it drown out the memories.

As the fire sank low, his fingers drifted across the scars littering his face. He floated off into sleep, focusing in the rhythmic breathing of his companions to steady his own racing heart, and tried not to dream.

[shallowseeker]

I think it is being right so often that devastates Dean the most, if you think about it.

It makes being wrong hurt so, so, so much more. (No one's going to be right all the time, after all!)

Like Cas's being brought back by God provided fuel for Cas's sense of hubris, Dean's consistent ability to read people, identify their motivations, and make judgment calls is what grounds him.

It's when he makes a wrong move that triggers every one of his downward spirals. In season 9, he says, on making decisions that "He's so sick of making the wrong one."

DEAN: Hell, maybe I still don't. But, uh... I know I took a piece of you in the process, and for that...[DEAN struggles to say the right thing. He finally just vents] Somebody changed the playbook, man, you know? It's like what -- what -- what's right is wrong and what's wrong is more wrong, and... I just know that when... When we rode together... [He pauses, looking for the right words.]

(9x12)

Dean's life has rendered making wrong decisions incredibly painful. Almost intolerable. (Especially since so many of his decisions have been so high-stakes!)

///

Then in later seasons... it gets worse.

First, there was "choking in the fight against AU Michael" in s14

(14x09)

And then s14-15 hits even harder. It's a painful, emotionally devastating setup that results in Dean trusting Chuck and going whole-hog on the whole "God says so" thing.

It's the opposite of everything Dean's ever stood for:

(14x20)

///

Then he spins straight into denial, oscillating between that and anger.

(15x01)

///

And when Belphegor arrives, he pitches into bargaining, too, experiences multiple phases of grief simultaneously. (It's in the script only, but a close reading shows that the next few episodes underline that THIS is the deal with keeping Bel around.)

(15x01)

///

This gives Dean perhaps his heaviest dose of Nihilism yet, effectively rendering him as s4 Cas, "I don't know if you passed or failed here," with Dean saying, "He doesn't know what's God, what isn't."

In Golden Times, Dean is described as "fatalistic."

(15x05)

//

(15x06)

Yeah. I'm always thinking of s15 Dean being so untethered that he reads very as a parallel with early seasons Cas!

I can't find the line in the scripts, but I know one of them in s15 references Dean feeling like his "life work is a hoax."

///

Dean and Cas have spent large parts of their respective lives being either Right or Righteous(TM), especially considering Castiel's incredibly long military history.

Yet in season 10, Cas says this:

CASTIEL: Yes, well, um… Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far too easy to do your worst.

(10x04)

It's about trying to reconcile your own righteousness with the world, with where you are going to centralize the locus of your morality (i.e. family) in a world whose food chain spirals down so hard that following it will drive you mad if you're not careful!

The theme of righteousness becomes a poughkeepsie word as early as 4x07:

SAM: I just… I mean, I thought they’d be righteous. DEAN: Well, they are righteous, I mean, that’s kinda the problem. Of course there’s nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he’s on a holy mission.

That is where Dean fins himself in s15, I think. Grappling with what he will choose.

We see how he's grappling with it in s15, but he by no means really recovers in s15 (this is why we need ONE more season):

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

//

LEE: You don't, Dean? I am you. I'm just you that woke up and saw that the world was broken. DEAN: Then you fix it. You don't walk away. You fight for it.

The funny thing is that Lee echoes a of "I am you's" that AU Michael does. Like characters before him Cain ("you're like me, Dean") and (Crowley "see what what I see, feel what I feel") and Chuck ("the ultimate killer"), Lee is trying to pigeon-hole Dean into being who he thinks he is, something nihilistic and inhumane.

LEE: Ohh. All right. I'll be damned. Why do you care so much, Dean? DEAN: Because someone has to.

(15x07)

Dean fights back against these roles. He fights for his own heart, for his sense of CARING about the little guy.

Maybe it's not about being righteous but letting go of the idea of righteousness.

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

I’m glad my asks are appreciated buddy :D anything to help your universe grow!

1: what is one villain they would avoid at any cost?

2: after watching Superman & Lois clips on YouTube, one of the boys said to Superman: what’s the dirtiest thing you ever heard? So my question is what’s the dirtiest thing the duo ever heard? or maybe just Chris since he has super hearing XD

3: how would the duo react if the other has died? How would they grieve? Fun fact, somebody asked me this question for my universe.

4: what is one of there flaws? Like Jake being too cocky during a fight for example. (Don’t know if he actually is)

5: what’s their favorite animal?

6: I’m actually running out of questions (ah oh) soooo for the giggles: who has the stinkiest farts? Gotta be Chris due to SUPER ones XD

It’s very appreciative that you help with it through these questions friend @pin-crusher2000

1) Probably Darkseid and Trigon for rather frankly obvious reasons. Well those two and Kite Man, the latter of which cause well they feel so bad for him

2) For Chris, that’ll be those few nights Clark and Lois were having one of their more ‘fun’ nights together while he’s trying to sleep but just couldn’t

For Jake, just about anytime he picks up on whatever his Uncle Jason, Detective Bullock and Captain Rohrbach mutter to themselves when frustrated, mainly a variety of cuss words

3) (Why yes, I’ve seen that. Deliciously painful XD) Both I can see temporarily drop their super heroics out of trying to grieve the loss of their best friend until further notice. Not that they’d actively stop helping people at all but not in a suit that’s a painful reminder of such a tragedy

As for individual reactions, Chris can likely slump into a major depression that only very few can ever get him out off. While laser focused on his schooling and daily routines, that spark of joy he’d have otherwise is long gone plus he’d suffer far far more nightmares combining Jake’s loss as a matter of it being his fault and of course his past life living under Zod. Its overall not a pleasant picture for him despite his attempts to hide it

For Jake losing Chris, he’d retreat to Mar’i and his secret ‘treehouse’, a lone asteroid with an artificial gravity and oxygen field overlooking Tamaran by himself a lot more often than normal where he can try to process his hurt and grief to varying degrees of success. As for his own powers, he can kiss those goodbye too as his emotions become so deaden by his loss that they’ve ceased functioning almost entirely. He just tries to live his best life and do his things despite this loss.

4) Jake can become too laser focused on his task and determined that it can ironically cloud his emotions which while it can be beneficial for a standard Batfamily member, since his powers are reliant on him using emotions, they can dampen by lack of their emotional input leaving him vulnerable to enemies that are far stronger than the average person

Chris can suffer from reluctance and lack of confidence in his abilities out of fear of them going out of control which districts him from Landing necessary knockout blows and counter attacks if his enemy is fierce in attacking him or those he’s trying to protect

And also both can end up snapping from anger and their powers can go out of control if pushed to that brink, leading to consequences not just for their enemies but themselves and especially innocents and allies that can get caught in the process

5) Chris: He’s very fond of an odd combination of both Orcas and Dogs. Orcas in that he finds them so majestic and lovely creatures in the wild despite their fierce reputation. As for dogs, I believe that both Krypto and Ranger (Jon’s Golden Retriever) influence him greatly for domestic pets

Jake: While Haley/Bitewing certainly gives him fond opinions and liking to dogs and the feline in his DNA (courtesy of Kory and Tamaraneans being descendants of feline ancestors) can relate well with cats big, small, wild and domestic, if he were to choose absolute favorites, it all be Penguins. Yes, Penguins, especially Emperor Penguins

6) why not, to indulge for once, in terms of sheer smell yes that honor would go totally to Chris, in particular after a small serving of beans or anything rich in fiber. Good thing the Kents have strong air fresheners to spray in the bathroom when that happens

[pekejscatbed]

Runaway and Circus Boy | Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

Info/Warnings:

This is not a ship, however kid Jason does have a very brief crush on Dick (its only mentioned once).

A retelling of Jason Todd's story through my eyes, because I have ideas that I need to share, or I'll literally explode. A lot of stuff is bits and pieces of different canons, just all thrown together into a new shape.

Author is not Hispanic or Romani, but I tried my best to properly portray these characters as such. If something is offense, let me know and I will fix it as soon as I can.

Also, there is some Spanish and Romani in this, though I do not speak either language. However, I looked at multiple different sources (not google translate) to get the translations as accurate as possible. If something is incorrect, please correct me and I'll fix it.

Translations: (Spanish) el chico del circo - the circus boy (Romani) dej - mom, dik - look, măcăleandru - robin

runaway and circus boy masterlist | batman masterlist

———

He's four years old when his stepmother succumbs to some illness, one he's too young to comprehend. His dad ignores him for a week, too busy processing his wife's death to care for his only child, too deep into grief to notice when his son sneaks out one night to run away to the circus that's in town: Haly's Circus. 

It doesn't take much for the boy to get in, security almost nonexistent, and he walks around the circus grounds, sneaking from cages to trailers to tents. He walks by one trailer right as the door opens, and a tall man with light skin, brown hair, and brown eyes sees him before he can run. Behind the man is a small boy, only a few years older than himself, in a red unitard; his skin is a subtle light brown, a shade or two lighter than Jason's, and he has black hair and blue eyes.

The police are called, and Jason is taken back home in a cop car, looking back out the window at one of the circus posters: The Flying Grayson's, it reads, with the picture of the tall man and the child and a woman, who has the same black hair, blue eyes combo as the boy, though her skin a few shades darker than his.

———

He's six when his father is killed by the criminal Two-Face and he's told he'll be put into foster care, but he's heard the stories of abuse and neglect, especially when it comes to children of color like him, so he runs.

He runs from street to street, trying to find a place to hide or somebody who can hide him. Maybe the nice man at the corner store? He's always been friendly to Jason, he's even given him free candy before! So, the young boy makes his way to the corner store a couple streets down from his house, runs as fast as he can, as far as his little legs will take him, he runs, and he runs- 

"Oomph!" He runs right into another boy, one with black hair and blue eyes and light brown skin, and they both fall to the ground. "El chico del circo! You're the circus boy!" 

Circus Boy jumps to his feet and Jason looks up at him with wide eyes full of wonder. The boy offers Jason a hand, pulling him to his feet. "You're the runaway! Are you running again?"

"Richard!" Before Jason can answer, the tall man from before and the poster lady are by Circus Boys side. Tall Man picks Circus Boy- Richard- up, and Poster Lady immediately hugs the two, though scolds the boy, and Jason notices she has an accent he doesn't recognize. "You can't just run off like that, you had us worried sick!"

"Sorry, dej..." Richard frowns at Poster Lady though leans into her touch, before wriggling out of her and Tall Mans grasp and landing upright on the ground, only to jump, literally jump, up in excitement. "Dik, dik! Look! It's the runaway!" 

Poster Lady and Tall Man look down at him with surprise, as if they only just noticed him. Both of them frown and Jason can tell Poster Lady is Richard moms just by the way their frowns are the exact same, and he notices how much more Richard looks like his mom than his dad, or at least Jason assumes Tall Man is the boy's dad, because Jason doesn't look much like his dad, either. According to his dad, though, Jason is the spitting image of his birth mother. 

"Young man, where are your parents?" Tall Mans voice is heavy with an accent that sounds like Tall Lady's accent, and he knows it must be related to the words Richard said to Poster Lady, and Jason gives the look of a startled cat at the mention of his parents. 

Jason runs again. 

(It doesn't take long for someone to find Jason and the boy wonders if Tall Man and Poster Lady called the police again. 

He spends the night at the police station, though he doesn't get much sleep, because at some point in the night he's awoken to an officer yelling about two deaths at the circus. Jason immediately thinks about Richard and wonders if he's okay; his wonders are answered later into the night, when Richard is brought into the station, eyes red and tear tracks staining his cheeks. He's followed by a new tall man, one with fair skin and black hair and blue eyes, and Jason thinks this man looks more like Richard than the other tall man.

Richard looks over at Jason, but the man with him is talking to the crying child before either boy can say anything. The new man, Bruce Wayne, an officer calls him, and Richard leave together.

Jason is put into foster care the next day.)

———

At age ten, Jason drops out of school. His current foster parents don't pay attention to him, not until they get a call from the school about Jason missing his classes, but by then, Jason has already run away again and this time no one finds him; whether they looked in the first place or just gave up on him, he doesn't know, nor does he care. 

———

Jason is twelve now, and he's looking for something- anything- he can steal and make a quick buck off of like he's been doing since he first started living on the streets, when he comes across the Batmobile. The Batmobile, of all things, the car driven by The Batman and his sidekick Robin, though no one's seen the kid in a few months and there's news articles speculating his disappearance- did he quit, did he die, did The Batman fire him?

He's in the middle of taking the tires off the Batmobile when he hears someone clear their throat from behind him, and Jason turns so fast, ready to bolt and never look back-

The fucking Batman is standing behind him, well, in front of him, now.

"That's a crime, you know." It's not a question, but a statement. Batman has the slightest frown on his face and a pair of handcuffs in his right hand. 

"I need the money, bat freak." 

(Bruce Wayne. The name sounds familiar, but Jason figures it's just because he's the playboy billionaire talked about on every news station. Bruce Wayne is The Batman.

And now, Jason is Robin, and Bruce Wayne's adopted son.

(The first Robin, Jason learns, is a boy named Dick Grayson, and Jason can't shake the feeling that the name Grayson sounds familiar, too.))

———

A few months later, and Robin II is meeting Robin I on a random rooftop in Gotham, only Robin I is in a new suit and he's going by Nightwing. 

"More like Discowing. Seriously, what the fuck is that thing?" Jason barks out a laugh. 

"I wouldn't have had to change my suit if you hadn't stolen my old one!"

"You're the one who left, dude. Not my fault you're a runaway."

"Runaway?" 'Discowing' looks at Jason like he's grown two heads. 

And suddenly Jason can hear the slight accent in the others voice, and he knows he's heard it somewhere before, just like the last name Grayson, and- "Fucking Circus Boy?"

Oh. That makes a lot of sense. 

———

Jason learns a lot over the next three years.

He's already familiar with terms like 'gay', 'queer', 'trans', a lot of the other children he met on the streets are there because they've been kicked out of their homes for identifying with words like those, and while Jason's known for a while now that he's never been interested in girls the way he's "supposed" to be, he's never considered himself gay or anything. It's just not something he's ever put a lot of thought into- he's never seen any reason to.

But then Dick and him get closer, they start spending more time together and they hang out as often as they can between school and work and work, not to mention them living in different cities, and then Dick tells Jason, "I'm glad you took my place as Robin, you deserve it. I can't think of anyone better to wear my old costume."

And, really, "my old costume", means two things: yes, it is Dick's old Robin get-up, but it's also made from that red unitard Dick used to wear in his circus days, the very same one he wore the night his parents died, the night his parents were murdered.

Jason can feel his heart beating out of his chest as butterflies swim around in his stomach, and his cheeks warm up and his hands are clammy and- Jason Todd has a crush. On Dick Grayson. On Circus Boy.

(Jason asks Dick, "Why 'Robin'?"

Dick tells him, "It's what my mom used to call me. 'Măcăleandru', Robin.")

———

He's fifteen when The Joker, of all people, finds his birth mother, and he's running off on his own again, ignoring Batman's warning because it's his mother and he has so many questions: 

Why did you leave me? Was I a mistake? Did you ever love me?

Do you even know that today's my birthday? Or how old I am?

Jasons in a warehouse now, trying to save his mother, only for Joker to open his big mouth and laugh and laugh and laugh at him. 

It was a trap and his mom, his own mother, has betrayed him. 

(As Jason takes his last breath, he realizes his dad was right; he does look like his mother. They share the same dark, curly hair, and they have the same naturally tan skin, and Jason's eyes are a similar shade of green, though slightly blue like his fathers.)

———

He'd be seventeen now, today, if Joker hadn't-

(In Blüdhaven, Dick Grayson is celebrating, grieving. 

A birthday cake is laid out on the kitchen counter, three wrapped gifts next to the dessert. One present is brand new, another from a year ago, and the last from two years ago- from when Jason-

Dick lights the candles, the numbers that once read 15 now nothing but a glob of wax that melts onto the molding cake. Not one slice is missing. 

"Happy birthday, Runaway.")

[sharky-the-idiot]

So Maria is the granddaughter of Dr.Gerald robotnik, who is also the grandfather of eggman. Maria and eggman are cousins I believe, unless it's been changed as of like 2018+. Maria has N.I.D.S, an illness that causes the affected person to get weaker and weaker and need constant medical attention as it progresses, and so her and her grandfather are in space, due to the anti gravity helping the symptoms to not progress as fast. While up there, her grandfather, who was actually the opposite of eggman, a kind caring person who wanted to use science for good and help cure his granddaughter was put on a task to create the ultimate life form by the government. So he created shadow, Gerald gave Shadow a soul so that humanity would not abuse his power for monstrous acts. Little did Gerald know that in the end, he himself was still only human. the plan was called off while still being worked on, and he was taken away and executed by the govfor creating shadow and 'putting humanity in danger' despite building its best protector. They interrogated him, before asking "is that all?" And it cuts to black, them prolly shooting him off screen. He didn't get a trial either, so it was straight up murder. While all this was happening, it's seen in the cutscenes of both the games and anime, that Maria was standing above a control panel weakly, before it cuts to a scene of shadow in the tube thing, in shadows flashback it showing maria saying how she wanted revenge on humanity. this is seen altered a lot though And YKNOW WHAT REALLY FUCKS ME UP? The fact that Gerald altered shadows memory so he wouldn't feel as pained, only the true meaning and stuff coming out when Amy says something that triggers it. And because of eggman being related, imagine if that's the reason he's so fucked up now This actually would explain why Eggman has so many childish characteristics despite being a grown man - since people who have experienced severe trauma as children often carry on childlike traits well into their adulthood to cope with the fact that the innocence of their childhood was cut short. It makes the concept of his "Eggmanland" amusement park SO much more tragic when you think about how it's probably a manifestation of the final drops of a traumatized childs innocence seeping through the cracks of an angry, bitter and broken old man's rampage of revenge against a world that wronged him and his loved ones so brutally, suddenly and pointlessly that he lost his goddamn mind That might also be why he hates sonic so much, due to him striking a resemblance to shadow. Oh and btw Shadow's design is based on the Prophecy of Super Sonic. In otherwords, Shadow almost owes his existence to Sonic in every way. but also due to Gerald coming into contact with Black Doom during his experimental processes, who offered up his immortal alien DNA in order to create Shadow. That's why Shadow looks like Black Doom and its why he's immortal while being able to channel the power of the Chaos Emeralds. Black doom is also why they shut down the project AND HIS FUCKING LAST SPEACH FUCKS ME ALL THE WAY UP! YOU DONT EXPEVT LINES LIKE "You ungrateful humans who took everything away from me will feel my loss and despair…" FROM A GOD DAMN SONIC GAME WHERE SOMEBODY IS CHAINED UP AND ABOUT TO BE KILLED Oh and Shadow tried to retcon certain details; such as wanting to remember Gerald fondly. The same man that nearly destroyed the entire planet from beyond the grave due to being driven mad with grief. This entire story line (not including silvers, knuckles backstory, blaze's lore ect) is why I'm still so into sonic.

infodump on shadow the hedgehog lore ehe

I saw Maria and thought both "SPLATOON⁉️⁉️⁉️" AND "OMORI⁉️⁉️⁉️" at the same time I need help

anyways BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CUUUT ME OFFFF /ref

[jankwritten]

For spotlight: what does Hades do/what’s the relationship w Nico?? Oh also what’s Persephone up to? Does she get along w Nico?

Okay so it's never really FULLY explained in canon - and maybe I will explain it at some point later in the story, who knows - but Hades is a super rich politician/business man. Not really politician, but he's very Influential and works really closely with a lot of politicians and so people kind of lump him in as one of them.

He's also super mysterious and...quirky. Like, he's just. A weird guy. He's super goth and believes weird things (he believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and shit like that) and he's pretty emotionally distant a lot of the time. Think of him as like, the walking poster for undiagnosed Dad Autism, y'know? Does that vibe make sense? Like he's very "I love my kids but hugging and touching makes me feel horrific. I love my job because I get to work with numbers and sort data and make solutions that are obvious to me but apparently nobody else understands and therefore I Have To Teach Them" but he's also super stressed all the time and has had drinking problems in the past.

Nico and Hades don't have the best relationship. Nico loves his dad, of course, but he also feels rightfully distant from him. When they lost Maria and then Bianca, Nico kind of felt like he lost his dad, too, because Hades withdrew entirely into his work and, since they lived in such a big house, they didn't see each other a whole lot. Plus, when Nico was first getting really into Hockey, he basically had to sneak around his dad to play, because Hades was strict about Nico not doing anything that would get himself hurt. He'd done a lot of research into hockey in an attempt to get closer to Nico, be interested in his interest, and instead found himself loathing the idea of his son being in such a hostile environment.

Hades and Nico have a very complicated relationship that's just kind of always been how Nico is with his father, so he doesn't know anything other than that. It doesn't bother him all that much day to day, though when he goes and visits it definitely weighs on him a little bit, especially after he's gotten a taste of like, what it means to have somebody really there for him and looking out for him, like Jack Seas and Snowy do on the team.

It's also an issue of independence, TBH. Hades never really wanted Nico to be independent, Hades wanted Nico to stay home, go to a really good school, get a business degree and start working his way up either in Hades's business, or starting his own business and thriving that way. Hades wanted to keep Nico close because he knew Nico's mental health struggles and feared that if he let Nico get too far out of his web of control, Nico would spin out and end up dead.

TLDR; Nico and Hades have a super intricate relationship that's spun out of their grief over losing Maria and Bianca, and the intricacies of their own mental health struggles and how they handle that.

PERSEPHONE is thriving living her best life etc. etc.

No but actually she's Hades's business partner, a lifelong friend who was there for the deaths in his family and became a big part of helping them through the grieving process. She and Hades started dating not too long after Maria died - I've said it before somewhere and I can't exactly remember where, but I think I mentioned something like the three of them had been in a polycule? IDK, but I like the idea either way.

ANYWAY Persephone runs the arts and PR side of Hades's business because he loathes that kind of thing, and she also helps him with numbers and some of the bigger projects when it gets to be too much for him to handle on his own. She moved in after Bianca died, and planted a big garden in the back yard that has memorials to both Maria and Bianca, as well as various family-and-associated pets who have passed throughout the years.

Persephone and Nico get along pretty well. He's a little awkward around her only because he sometimes still doesn't know if he's meant to treat her like a mom or what, because some days he does see her as more of a mother figure and some days he feels really disconnected from her. She cares about Nico in her own way - she was a little tough-love on him growing up, especially after he started hockey. No bullshit excuses would get past her, basically, and if Nico had a problem and came to her crying with it, she would let him cry it out and then make them have a logical, rational discussion about it. (This was pretty rare, though, because Nico used to do that with Maria and he feels like he's betraying her a little bit by going to Persephone. It's fucked up, but y'know.)

Persephone is super supportive of Nico playing hockey, though, as opposed to Hades. She thinks it's great, and cool as hell that Nico found something that he's really good at, kicked the shit out of stereotypes and all that.

Persephone and Hazel also get along really well, not that you asked about that :P But Hazel and Persephone have met a couple of times, and Persephone does know that Hazel is Hades's kid - she was there when the original "scandal" came out, after all. Hazel doesn't see Persephone as her half-step-mother, but more like an Aunt, or a really good family friend. Hazel likes to teach Persephone how to make spell jars and tea blends out of the herb and flower garden.

All in all, the family isn't very close-knit and they have a lot of internal structural problems between themselves, but Nico still loves and cares for them because they are his family no matter what. They're what he has left and he's not letting that go.

[embermc]

That's also part of the reason I really like William Afton's portrayal in everything but as Scraptrap or in TFC. You have what 6 and 4 paint as this man who is simultaneously distant to the point of neglectfulness and disturbingly invasive towards his children. This behavior gets to of his children killed (he's presumably responsible for Michael developing his general shittiness, CC being terrified of the animatronics, and Elizabeth shouldn't have to be stated.) Rather than face the faults of his actions or succumb to grief he kills his closest friend's daughter, possibly out of some kind of jealousy, and begins to abuse his role as a trusted children's entertainer to lure four more children to their deaths in a mascot costume. Then we have him returning to the pizzeria long after it's closed down, tearing apart the animatronics which he may have not wanted to acknowledge earlier were haunted. I think it's fitting that in death he's reduced to what he made his life about. He literally becomes the suit he used to kill, his face has rotted away, his voice only comes out in choked groans. He is a thing only moved by pain, his only source of direction is the sound of children's laughter. His (previously assumed) death is unaffected in either ending. It's not a good ending if he's just gone, it's up to the nightguard/shadow bonnie/Michael to put the souls of the children to rest, to end the nightmare he created

IDK I just feel like a man brought to commit more and more extreme evils until he literally lost what made him human fits better with the darker or sadder elements of FNAF than mad scientist who wants to be immortal and is seemingly unperturbed by being crushed and locked in a room for 30 years

YESSS literally spot on. I’ve always liked the “man pushes himself deeper and deeper into a hole of atrocities and becomes worse and worse until he’s literally lost his own humanity’ depiction of william far more than mad scientist from the books, it just fits much more thematically.

In my mind, I’ve always been fond of the depiction of William as somebody who was always a bit crappy and neglectful, but descended into the man he eventually became through his own poor decision making and inability to healthily process his family’s fate and inability to take accountability for his own actions. He indirectly allowed Elizabeth and CC to die via his neglect, and there’s an implication that his wife left him and died due to similar reasons, but instead of taking any time to reflect on this or self-improve he just doubles down, like you said. He refuses to believe any of it could be his fault- instead, it’s everybody else’s fault. It’s the world that’s to blame. Why should perfect Henry get to have his perfect little family when William’s own kids were dead in the ground? Something simply had to be done about that. His thought process is so investing in this depiction.

And then it just progresses from there and he turns from this well-beloved guy who maybe had genuinely good intentions for a children’s entertainment venue but was a crappy neglectful invasive father to his own kids, into this horrific, inhuman monster which is literally reflected by the fact that he STOPS physically being human!!! Springtrap in itself is such good symbolism because it shows he’s not William Afton, the children’s entertainment businessman, anymore. He’s a horrific creature that has alienated everyone that ever cared about him, abused his former role in order to cause havoc on a world that he scapegoats for all his problems, and has caused so much unnecessary pain to so many people. I always believed the idea that TOYSHK was purposefully springlocked, as well. It reflects the extent of William’s brutality by the time he got to the last kill of the original group, he’s no longer just quickly murdering, he’s intentionally causing as much pain and suffering to an innocent kid as he can, just for the sake of it. Henry referring to Afton not as his old name, but as a “creature” and a “monster” now fits well.

[jellydishes]

JELLYYYYYYYY my friend my pal my brother in bite, I SEEN YA REBLOG and now I am HERE to get UP in your BUSINESS with QUESTIONs about your OCS who are ALSO MY BELOVEDS. (please)

I can't resist asking 7 and 18 about Edyiss my darling For Tsurin I absolutely need 16 and 23 And for Sorrow (asking for Tank and myself): 5, 20, and 21 And because I am perpetually curious about your marvellous creations, I'm enclosing a free space where you can pick a question you've been dying to be asked about the OC of your choice. THANK YOU I AM ENCLOSING BITE 8D

oh man you have released the kraken of ranting about characters lmao

now!! as for ed, i would bounce these questions back at the actual owner of edyiss, @pen99, but as far as my INTERPRETATIONS of edyiss hawke go for the purposes of my stories featuring her!

number 7, What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?: edyiss has more or less remained consistent since i started writing her, though she's definitely more self aware than the rough framework my initial studies for the first story would've indicated! she just doesn't like making a big deal out of it or actually changing because of it :v

number 18, Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?: edyiss is a fascinating mix of both depending on context and how pissed off she is, but in general i would say she'd more up close and personal in terms of her emotional/internal reactions, while often SEEMING cold and detached

tsurin tabris!

number 16, What is your OC's pain tolerance like?: medium, as least based from the perspective of some body who regularly suffers through migraines! i think she would be much better at handling sudden and short term pain rather than chronic issues tbh, it would fuck with her intensely, which is why the lingering issues from her burn scars after fighting the archdemon are the WORST for her

number 23, What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?: i would say the hardest emotion for tsurin to process is grief, she's been struggling with it since her mother died in her early teens and it sends spiderweb cracks out into basically most of if not everything she does, while the hardest for her to express around most people is genuine affection/trust. she only really knows how to do it around family she's known her whole life. shit's tough!!

sorrow cousland/shepard!!

number 5, How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?: in terms of what he thinks is strategically sound, VERY FAR. in mass effect he sacrificed the council for instance bc he thought it just made sense while in dragon age he sacrificed isolde! in terms of personal desires, he is far less willing to pursue THINGS he wants, but in terms of RELATIONSHIPS, he is pretty intense about pursuing somebody unless it's made obvious that his affections aren't wanted

number 20, Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?: sort of! he's polyamorous in name, but he does get insecure and grumpy/withdrawn if he feels his partner(s) aren't seeing to his emotional needs in favor of somebody else, and i can easily see him getting snippy if pressed because he doesn't! want to talk about it! it's FINE!!

number 21, Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?: aside from his stutter, sorrow has tremors in his hands due to chronic pain, which is one reason he has his weapons modified so he can't drop them! though the answer you're looking for is, "never talk about it ever at all to the point that some of his companions had no idea he had chronic pain at all for MONTHS"

aaaaand for the one question! i do in fact have a song i associate with tsurin tabris from WAY BACK

[lilyrizzy]

First off, I want to say that in that iron ground is an amazing fic I can't believe you're out here writing this for free for all of us to read! Second, I just wanted to talk about the one scene that I keep thinking about which was when Max and Daniel were in the cab after Daniel was a jerk and Max smiles back and holds his hand - Did Daniel truly realize how much of a jerk he was being? What was he thinking? I know Daniel was wondering if "one afternoon is enough to unravel years of hard work" but I just want to know more!! How did Max deal with a mean Daniel? I understand his circumstances are terrible rn but I honestly don't think I would be as emotionally strong and capable as Max while Daniel was being like this! Was Michael like ???? I also loved the scene where Daniel and Max talk about marriage and forever ... everything about this fic was 1000000/10

thank you so much, i am so glad you enjoyed it. it is probably the thing i am most proud of ever writing so asks like this honestly make me giddy! Answers under the cut<3

cw: mentions of max's relationship with his father and the way i percieve that. please don't read if you won't like that.

i think, max's ability to deal with daniel's meaness is due to the way i see max as a character, which is to say he's somebody who is very resilient and capable of incredible compartmentalisation. like not to get too deep into like controversial subjects, but he's well practiced in forgiving or overlooking questionable behaviour from people he loves (j*s).

so i think in this particular situation, where daniel is having the worst day of his life, he would be able to recognise that as the reason for his beahviour and forgive him quickly. Daniel is his man, you know, why wouldn't he be forgiving of him? in a sadder way, i think max is quick to take responsibility (and even blame) for other peoples emotions (see: 'it cost a marriage' about his first championship) so i also don't think its that much of a reach to think that he would like, offer himself up to be a place where daniel can put this irrational anger. but remember, max does call daniel out in the previous scene by telling daniel bluntly 'you are being an asshole,' so hes also not totally self sacrificing. and in the cab, when daniel reaches for him, this is enough in max's eyes, like he takes it as a 'sorry,' because he knows daniel doesn't totally have the capacity for an apology right now, when he feels like hes been so wronged (not by max, but by the the loss of his father) and everything is so unfair. he's just shocked because he was thinking maybe he'd have to deal with daniels anger a little longer, but he's happy he doesn't.

basically, i think in a way his trauma has made him kinda emotionally mature in some ways.

& because i'm a romantic at heart lol, also this fic, they love each other a lot and have been together for a long time too, so max is also thinking 'if daniel is feeling these emotions, id rather him share it with me than go through it alone,' so if he's gotta be the person daniel gets mad at to do it, so be it. if that makes sense (not claiming any of this dynamic is healthy, but then emotional responses after grief rarely are and the whole point of the fic is to explore that lol so pls dont come for me in my ask box lol).

then onto daniel, and "one afternoon is enough to unravel years of hard work". For starters, this phrasing is pretty uncharitable to max, but on purpose bc as discussed, daniel is going through itTM rn. but i think this is fundemental to the thought process daniel has throughout the fic where he is has seen himself as the protector, the person who reshaped a lot of the things his father had taught max about what it was to be a man, to be gay, to be a race car driver, he's tried to get max to a healthy place, where is doesn't feel the blame and guilt and shame that his childhood left him with, but more than anything, he's trying to be a safe place for max. somewhere where he never questions that he's loved, and never experiences the pain he did as a child, that results from anger. but now *he* is the person causing this pain and he's worried that max is going to lose faith/trust in him for that.

while like i said, max rn is just like, "daniel just found out his dad died, of course he is going to be angry, but it is okay because he touched me nicely so i know things are fine now."

michael is just like, eyes forward, nothing is happening, lah lah lah lol, like he is not interested in getting involved in the ins and outs of their relationship.

[acrossfromladystardust]

i am deeply annoyed by how blind people are to remus’ struggles because of their love for harry

1. he didn’t contact harry for 13 years, yes. but what were you expecting him to do? even ignoring his struggles with grief, being a werewolf and being poor (which is a stupid thing to do anyway), harry was protected by being with the evans family, that was the whole point of him being there in the first place. was remus supposed to steal him and put him in danger? of course he wouldn’t do that. even more, if he ‘only’ tried contacting him and not stealing him away, what was he supposed to tell him? harry had no idea what his background was, and that was how dumbledore wanted things to stay. and the years between harry starting hogwarts and poa? just think about how remus and harry meeting then would’ve complicated the story and realise why jkr wouldn’t bother with that

2. the difference between how sirius and remus treated harry. both of them saw james in harry, it was impossible not to (i was going crazy with how often everyone told this poor kid that he looked exactly like his dead dad) but they did so in different ways. sirius saw james in harry in the sense that he saw fun teenage years, joy and mischief. he tried recreating the happy times he had with james but with his son, and i’m happy that he managed to do that, obviously. however, remus saw the death of his best friends in harry. he saw 13 lonely years when he thought everyone he ever loved was dead because of one of his best friends. instead of making him happy, seeing harry just resurfaced his grief. is that healthy? of course not, but i don’t see how people can’t understand that this is also a possible effect of grief

3. now for sirius’ death: “sirius died in front of harry’s eyes and remus knew that and yet didn’t write to harry to talk to him”. sorry, let me put that into a different perspective for you: SIRIUS DIED IN FRONT OF REMUS’ EYES?!?! and he didn’t even have time to process it for a second because he had to stop harry from jumping into the veil with him. sorry for thinking that has an effect on a person ig. remus and sirius went through infinitely more things together than sirius and harry did AND sirius was literally remus’ only living friend. this man had absolutely no one else in life, he managed to lose the same best friend (*cough* lover *cough*) TWICE and his first thought was supposed to be to comfort somebody else’s grief? i understand why harry wanted that, but i also understand why remus couldn’t give him that

4. harry was 17 when remus made him the godfather to his child. OBVIOUSLY that was symbolic??? OBVIOUSLY remus wasn’t planning to die and actually leave harry with the responsibility of raising a child?? the same thing happened with james and sirius. of course james wasn’t planning on dying and leaving sirius to care for harry, so why can’t you understand that was the case here as well. it wasn’t some bad parenting tactic, remus wanted harry to feel like even a small part of sirius is still with him

5. i don’t support him wanting to leave teddy. harry rightfully got angry with him and that was a mistake on remus’ part. i do understand why he did it, i’m truly just too tired rn to get into that as well, plus i’ve already did a while ago. truly though, i hate the entire idea of his relationship with tonks, so that is not a debate i even want to get into. jkr writing the most queer coded character then forcing him into a straight relationship will forever haunt me. fuck jkr

and this is not me saying remus would have perhaps been a good parental figure for harry (i’ve seen people debating that and that’s what started this rant), but just because he couldn’t be a good parent doesn’t mean he isn’t a good person and that is a very important distinction

[thefandomcassandra]

Broken Bridge 2/?: The Day You Die

They say that grief is a wrecking ball. That grief takes the breath out of your lungs and the strength out of your limbs and the will to live out of your very soul. In that moment, a large piece of Helmut Fullbear dies. With the passing of Bob Zanotto, the only light in Helmut’s life goes out.

(Razputin Aquato enters the mind of Helmut Fullbear to help him process his grief and to get his assistance in helping stop the return of Maligula. It doesn't hurt that his husband isn't...dead, per se. The hard part is convincing him of that fact.)

Helmut knows how this goes. It replays in his dreams every night. He's memorized every line down to the stage directions, the well worn script a hell of his own making.

After all: the man who let his husband die doesn't deserve restful sleep.

The uninhabited Grulovian tundra they chose as their battlefield is frosted. What little flora is there crunches beneath their boots as they close the distance with the person who had once been their friend. Even the dirt is solid. The wind shrieks, bitter and dry, a portent to what is to come.

The setting for this sordid tale is evocative of its ending. A tragedy encased in ice. Impeccable set design. An emotive score.

(Something is wrong.)

There should only be seven people here. The six of them—bundled tight against the weather and the likelihood of ice water—and Maligula. But Helmut can see one more person here on the horizon, visible and stark against the unfairly clear and beautiful sapphire sky.

They’re the size of Compton, eyes a bright crimson, and they’re watching Helmut like a bird of prey. At that distance it's hard to tell exactly who they are or what they could want, but they're unsettling. An omen.

No one else was supposed to be out here. It was meant to be an isolated place for a final confrontation. A stage set perfectly for the turning point of this tragedy.

But an interloper is watching from behind the curtains.

Maligula—no longer the wonderful woman they once knew, drowning deep under gallons of guilt—speaks but Helmut can't bring himself to pay attention. As it is, his gaze and thoughts are drawn to the red eyes on the horizon. Their own silent little critic.

Does this tragedy make for a pleasant watch? Is it entertaining?! Are you satisfied?!

(No, no, he shouldn't be so bitter. After all, this is his fault anyway. Let them watch. Let them partake in this farce, even at a distance. It's the least they can do after all the good the six of them did when creating this monster.)

As always, he runs through the motions, faking the emotions, more for their little audience than for anything else. Try to help Lucy and fail. Try to fight Lucy and fail. Try to seal Lucy and fail. Lose Bob. Lose Lucy. Lose.

There's no reason to try, is there? This is all self flagellation in the end. There has to be a point where the reruns will stop. Somebody will get tired of seeing the same old song and dance eventually. So why should he bother?

(The eyes in the distance. The little audience of one. Somebody is paying attention...but who?)

The ground eats his husband, Ford finishes the job, nobody is happy, curtain call.

Dress the stage and try again. Those eyes are just an audience after all. Why should he expect them to help when the past is already set in stone?

Read the Rest on AO3

[to-calm-anxiety]

I wish I could save him

Although I'm pissed about the way he lied and the way he betrayed me, I can't help but feel that he's going to ruin his life. He's hanging out with people that aren't good for him, all they want is to party and drink.

He threw our relationship to the trash because he wanted to keep being friends with somebody that did no good to him. Those people aren't good.

He's very immature. He wasn't ready for a relationship and he should've told me. I hope he starts working on himself. I wish I could talk to him one more time and give him some advice. But I shouldn't and won't, I don't have to be his savior. He hurt me a lot, he lost everything, for what?

and the fact that he doesn't understand anything pisses me off.

Hopefully with my new job starting tomorrow I will be more busy.

I need to keep my mind busy to stop thinking about him,

although I do understand that grief is a process that I have to go through and I should just wait for it to pass.

I want to start the gym, I wanna meet new people.

I don't feel like dating anybody right now, not even kissing anybody else. The thought of me kissing somebody else makes me sick.

But I guess it's a process that takes time.

I'll be okay I know, it's just hard. being away from my family, starting a new life in a different country, a new job which I'm really nervous about.

I do want to start going to church.

I know God that your plans are better than mine and I leave everything in your hands.

I will probably start writing more. My anxiety has been visiting me a lot lately, but I get that its because I've been keeping myself busy all the time and I need time to myself to process my feelings and let them be.

God help me tomorrow, give me the strength, the confidence and the intelligence I need for this new journey.

I forgot how relieving writing was.

Writing all my thoughts does help to empty my mind.

You'll regret losing me. right now I just feel angry because of what you did to me, and the way my family didn't like you, and the way my gut feeling was right.

I hope I find somebody that deserves me.

God I have so much love to give. I know now it's not the time, I'm not ready for that yet and you know it. But please God, prepare me for the man of my life, I do deserve someone good, someone who loves me and puts me first. I want peace in a relationship.

I'm not inviting your sister to my birthday. I told you we're not friends, and even though I check my phone a lot hoping I get a message from you, a part of me is glad that you don't message me because I can't be kind to you right now. don't expect me to believe your bullshit.

I've been taking some clonazepam lately, I need to sleep. And I hope it keeps me calm for tomorrow.

You're probably hanging out a lot with the friend I don't like. you didn't understand and you will never understand.

but I will never forgive you.

I can't trust you.

Wow we did clean the house a lot today

I have a new roommate, although I like her, sometimes I feel like I need my own space and I just want to be alone. hopefully things go good with her.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s15e14 last holiday (w. jeremy adams)

DEAN Hmm. Ah, Jack come out of his room yet? SAM No. I mean, can you blame him? His soul is back. Everything is hitting him. Everything he’s done. Everything he has to do. Amara. DEAN Yeah. Well, I mean Billie said it, to kill Chuck, you gotta kill Amara, too.

handy that sam has that very experience, post-soulless guilt. also questioning the fact they need to kill amara. billie hasn't had all the right answers, but it's like a) chuck said can't kill me because of balance which hello of course he's slightly biased on the reasons he can't be killed b) logical conclusion wiping out amara and then apparently confirmed by billie? sure whatever. i'm not buying it :p

this whole restarting the bunker sequence has weird dialogue for dean. i'm telling you this season feels off in a million different directions.

good grief. well, i'm glad the production draft dialogue didn't make it to screen.

DEAN Ha-ha! Victory! Now… burger time. Meat man! Comin’ to town!

but no meat for sam, apparently

mrs butters / roseanne s3e21 meagen fay as kathy bowman

ah, meagan fay! she's been a ton of things but i'm pretty sure i know her from roseanne. man, i loved that show. goddamned shame roseanne herself turned out to be a fucking awful person. best quality image i could get was someone recording from their tv lol

DEAN Well, I was walking into my room, about to, uh, dive into my Dean Deluxe. I look up, and there she is, folding my, uh, underthings. SAM Your underthings?

why wouldn't he just say boxers or underwear. he could have been awkward about it with those too. going to look to see what i thought of jeremy adams's other episodes and it was the scooby one (cowriter) 13x16 and sam's soul wound whatever thing and eileen 15x07 and i wasn't terribly enthused about either of those episodes so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MRS. BUTTERS No, I was more of a helper. I, uh, took care of the cleaning and laundry and the cooking. The Men of Letters, though highly intelligent, were oblivious to the necessities of life. But they were my boys. My family. DEAN Well, that’s very progressive

i am open to enjoying this episode (trying to, at least) but the premise is just. a lot to swallow.

she literally saw dean walk into his room with a homemade burger yet commenting on the home cooked meal. and i'm just not buying that their clothes/they stink. i would when they were young and literally barely scraping by and living on the road, but not now

DEAN He’ll be fine. I mean, I’ve been through worse. Look at me, I’m the picture of health. SAM Ignoring your trauma doesn’t make you healthy. DEAN Sure it does.

not sure we've seen sam really processing much either, though he's sort of talked about dealing with it

like... this is reading more like not great fic than an episode. oof

obligatory head shaking of random music choice that sounds like it should be in star wars or something to indicate foreboding drama at the end of this conversation where dean says jack just needs some time/space (jay gruska ofc)

open mind, nic. open mind

this is... i don't even know what. give jackles an inch and he'll ham it up for a mile and it's not my kind of humor and the fucking cap, it's just so over the top. and then flashing sam and him gagging. like. sigh. not my jam, to put it lightly

no words

he kept mjolnir? i don't remember that episode at all honestly

it's all very cartoonish. i'm sure the conflict is sure to follow shortly

so the docile mommy indentured servant magical creature was also useful for killing people, gasp

DEAN Oh, wow. Somebody’s shopping at Abercrombie and Bitch. MRS. BUTTERS Oh! Language! DEAN Well – MRS. BUTTERS Don’t you listen to him. You look very handsome. SAM Eileen’s in town. So I thought, after everything that’s happened, you know, we could go out on a date. Dinner and privacy, something. DEAN Heavy on the something!

all right. guess they're gonna try again

so this random wood nymph lady was able to basically power down jack, who everyone says is basically the most powerful being out there, with some magical ingredient containing smoothies. sure.

why the archangel blade, who knows. since apparently it only works to kill archangels when wielded by one, right? but jack's a whatever anyway

SAM Why didn’t you call me? DEAN Well. I mean, I, you know, figured you were “practicing your sign language.” SAM And that’s more important than coming to save you? DEAN Hmm.. SAM Dean? DEAN It’s been a while for you, man, you know?

😐 not like dean trying to get sam laid is a new thing, he's been on that train since s1. but for some reason it's weirding me out with eileen. well, maybe it's always kind of weirded me out but now I have even more complicated feelings about them so it's increased the weirdness

DEAN Okay, I’m just going to say this, okay? Just get it out there. Jack. I’m trying, okay? I really am. But what you did, that’s not easy to forget. Now I was angry with you, for a while. And maybe I still am a little bit, okay? But I’m not gonna let some evil Mary Poppins take you out. Do you understand?

well, that was nice. glad they had that moment at least

ripping off sam's fingernails, great. didn't the gods in the christmas episode do that to him too?

welp. undid some brainwashing and she's out. whatever, man. woof.

who lights the candle first then puts it in the cake lol

little hint of the dads and their kid sweet dynamic they had in the before times. followed up by ominous music.