#SO MANY its a struggle
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❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
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I'm catching up with comms so in the meantime here is a page from KF 2022 PDF, which I drew to substitute for a NSFW post!
I hope you will have a great Monday <3
52 weeks of KICK Fridays - what is it?
It's 3 PDFs made out of my Patreon content where I published Klance each Friday (Kick Fridays) since 2020. You can buy them by lowest price Patreons could pay each year to see it (1/month) on my shop (payhip.com/mezzy). I publish something for each sold PDF 💞
#klance#laith#hi tumblr!#ughhh i ckecked out my folders and ive seen so many cute art i feel like o javent shared or#am reluctant to share because its unfinished#SO MANY its a struggle#thinking posting maybe just pilesnof doodles#though that poses a threat to a structure i had of trying my best to actually finish arr but#maybe there is an equilibrium in it somewhere#anyway let me know if we enjoy content or tag the year#if someone mentions renesAINcE im going to start spamming you with old art reblogs#😆#its already tuesdsy when im posting btw#but draft has been done on monday so we are going with it#no one will know
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Jason comes back from the dead and, as he's still a bit out of it, heads to the manor.
Crawling straight up through six feet of compacted earth is hard, especially after waking up suddenly in a coffin, so after he makes it inside, he sits down to rest on the couch.
And immediately falls asleep.
Hours later, Bruce returns home to find Jason's body, covered in dirt, dug up from the grave and left on his couch.
#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#red hood#jason todd robin#jason todd angst#bruce and jason#its so easy to go angst with this#and there are so many directions it could go#but also consider#bruce gets pissed#he assumes this is a gand or villian trying to send him a message#so he heads out as Batman and lets EVERYONE know hes on the warpath#he can rebury Jason once he finds the people who disturbed him#meanwhile jason wakes up from his nap#and wanders around the house wondering where everyone is#he finds tim struggling with reading homework and helps him#tim decides that this muddy former robin zombie is a hallucination#and doesnt think any more of it#until dick shows up and freaks
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not exactly inktober but! i will try to draw a quick cat doodle every day of october..... i just think they're neat
#my art!#cat october#cats#art#artist on tumblr#sketches#description in alt text#busy with first week of college..... aouggh almost no time to myself#but im being very brave about it#and also im socialising and it's draining. its a struggle to remember so many new names and faces
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Jack prost
Jack studies but I was only allowed to ref the rotg concept art 🤩
#I arise out of my grime ridden hole just to get blinded in the eyes and burn alive#I LOVEE the rotg concept art its so whimsy and whimsical#shoutout to my concept artists in the back#I also STRUGGLE drawinh Jack for some reason like his face is very unique#anyway I think I’m getting there 😍#I have too many ideas for the Viking/elf/fae jack design but those deserve another study day#the scribbles on the staff by Jamie + other kids respectfully#drawing is fun I should do it more often#jack frost#rotg
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I don't think a lot of people realize that lot of their advice to disabled people often boils down to "Get over it." they are trying to be helpful but their idea of helpful is "Just do the thing" because that's what they do. for them they just do things. It comes naturally to just do it.
They don't know how to bridge the gap between you and the task. For them the bridge is already pre-built and stable. For disabled people the bridge is run down, not well kept, it feels unsteady and is hard to get across without being slow and cautious - hell for some people there is no bridge and we need to build it ourselves but we don't have the bridge building tools and no one gives them to us.
"Just cross the bridge." They say before walking over their pre-built bridge. They never gave you the tools to build a bridge to cross.
#text#I hope this makes sense#disabled#neurodivergent#adhd#actually adhd#actuallyadhd#idk how to tag this post really i dont post a lot in disabled spaces...#by disability i mean all disabilities btw#i suffer from ADHD and chronic pain ad many other things#and all of them cause me problems that make it hard to 'just do it'#so hearing 'advice' that is just 'do the thing you're struggle to do' really gets on my nerves#especially when the people giving that 'advice' throw a hissy fit when i say that its unhelpful
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daucus carota
#landscape#digital art#speedpaint#study#digital painting#hey so theres a few things not quite right with me :)#one of them being my insane perfectionism#and the other day i realised#theres so many weird rules in my brain that im barely even aware of#im stopping myself from painting things i would like to paint because theyre... too easy???#and like anything that isnt a struggle is worthless apparently#but guess what friends :))))))#its actually Allowed to do something that is fun and easy#wild right?#wow#anyway heres this dune landscape that i churned out in under an hour not bc that is easy but bc im really good at drawing lol#featuring my favourite flower#queen anne's lace
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More Good Omens! I‘m sorry bit I probably won‘t shut up about them any time soon.
Please don‘t repost.
#i love them your honor#so many sketchoos#feeling more confident about the style now#really struggled with Crowley#wasn‘t happy the way I drew him but now its goin somewhere I think#could change again tomorrow and then I throw everything out of the window#ANYWAY#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#my art#sketchoos
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the tinie
#stranger things#stranger things art#stranger things fanart#el hopper#eleven#eleven hopper#jane hopper#jane ives#el byers#el has so many names its such a struggle to tag JHDHFHBVKVKHD#livsmessydoodlez#livsmessydoodles
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harriet is still the same height but instead she wears those disco platform shoes so she just towers over everything i think
#i struggled so hard drawing harry today i wish i could draw her face better right neow but ach orz#harriet du bois#fem kim kitsuragi#sunnysidedisco#i am so severely art blocked that this took me so many redraws and it took so long too and its not even *that* clean and polished 😔#this doesnt need to be in the main tag LOL i think i need a dedicated tag for the fem versions but idk what to name it yet hmmmm#genderbend#<- blacklisting purposes#sunnysidedraws#described#id in alt text#disco femlysium
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you are a god's best friend. the world is young still, and you are yet younger. he rides with you and hunts with you, and teaches you how to speak to birds and beasts. you are a god's student. you ride in his train and care for a hound that he gifted to you. gods have taught others before. gods have been kindly to others before. your god is your best friend. he gifts you something of his self, a hound of his own hunt.
you are your father's son. your grandfather is dead. no one has ever called you wise, and you are, above all else, your father's son. he swears a terrible oath. you swear a terrible oath. you don't know if you really mean it, but your mother named you well- you are hasty to rise, hasty to run into things. the hunt teaches you patience but you cannot outrun yourself. you are your father's son.
you are a god's best friend and you have sworn a terrible oath, but it is an oath that you hope that your friend can understand. to hunt the murderer of your grandfather, is something that the god of the hunt can understand.
you are your father's son. the blood of elves on your hands does not feel different than the blood of a deer, except in the tight feeling of your throat. except in the thunderous beating of your heart. you tell your brother, who is trying not to throw up, that you need to think of them like deer. he looks at you like he's never seen you before. you are forever doomed.
you are a god's best friend. he does not say goodbye, but your dog comes with you. surely you can fix this, then, surely you are still a god's friend.
you are your father's son. he dies. he dies but before he does, he tells you to burn the boats. you do. you are your father's son. your father dies and, he tells you to swear that oath once more. it is a terrible oath. you have sworn it once. you swore to your best friend once. surely it will not tip the scales to swear once more, if in your mind, you dedicate this hunt to him.
you were a god's best friend, and it is not enough. you are your father's son, and you speak your father's oath. it proceeds to eat you alive.
#tolkien#silmarillion#silm#celegorm#turkafinwe#feanor#feanorians#sons of feanor#orome#huan#its me. celegorm posting again#mandatory disclaimer i am a cringefail celeg truther always#but yeah i think everything is worse if celeg doesnt disavow orome#its about the fall from grace#imagine what kind of person#what force of personality you would need#to be friends with a god. to be close friends with a god.#and that's saying something cause there's feanor and maedhros and finrod and galadriel and nolofinwe and so many strong personalities#and celegorm is friends with a god.#i think it makes his downfall more interesting. makes me want to chew on the implications#i want him to suffer the quencies of his actions#however i am also like... hehe the oath of feanor as a parallel of his oaths to orome#on one hand i loooove “they did this to themselves” interps of the oath#on the other i am OBSESSED with “the oath is literally binding and sentient and they had to struggle against it”#long post
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Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.
Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#not to mention that so many people DO want to medically transition but *can't*#so it can be even harder for some when they feel social transition is their only option when they don't want it to be#but social transition carries its own risks and challenges and again rewards#and i've seen this idea plenty where it's like 'oh you don't GET my struggles because you're SOCIALLY transitioning'#and while yes i am different than some trans people to say i'm struggling *more* if i'm the only one medically transitioning is??? huh????#i don't buy into this idea that social transition is never scary because you don't have the boot of the medical system on your back#(though non-med or pre-med transitioning people still face issues in medical settings so even THEN we aren't seperate)#like there's very few ways you can separate my issues as a medically-transitioning person and the issues of somebody who isn't...#...and by that i mean there's few ways you can separate our issues so that mine trumps theirs or that i'm seen as like... trans but More#does that make sense?#medical transitioning is important but that doesn't mean it is *more* important or that only *it* is important#you can support us who are medically transitioning without erasing the experiences and struggles of other trans people#and plus... so many of us who are medically transitioning NOW are the people who socially transitioned THEN#and dare i say i despised social transition more because of how hard it was? medical transition has been (more or less) easier...#...in that i can just *be* now
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youre never gonna believe this. but i really liked the musical with the miserable middle aged man
#turtlearts#sweeney todd#sweeney todd revival#josh groban#aaron tveit#annaleigh ashford#brother u have no idea how much i was struggling to draw them. so so so hard#also these are quite old. like a couple months old#i was planning on coloring these but frankly i dont have the energy or the strength to do it oops#anyways u have no idea how many times ive watched bootlegs of this show its kinda nuts#for like 2 months straight i was watching nothing but sweeney todd all day and all night. like i was sleeping at 6 am consistently#it was kind of really bad. but IT WAS TOO GOOD IM SORRRYYYY#i memorized good chunks of the play and the songs RAAGGGHH#one good thing about this period is that i stopped watching youtube obsessively bc i was watching this stupid play obsessively instead <3
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One Piece means a lot to me as a disabled person, which I think would be pretty surprising to anyone who only has a surface understanding of it. The supposed central theme of "follow your dreams" would be pretty alienating to someone like me, right? It really, really would be, if that's what it was actually about.
However, that ignores that Luffy's dream is to be the most free person in the world. And to attain that goal, the first thing he does is find friends to live life with. Over and over again, from the very beginning, he takes on their burdens, all in the name of being the most free.
Do you see what that would mean to me, as someone who needs more help to get by than is considered culturally normal, to the point that it puts me in a whole socially manufactured category of "other"? Not to mention, because of the infantilization of me due to that category, because of being forced so squarely into the "cared for" role, taking care of other people is deeply meaningful and empowering for me. However, the myths of independence and universal natural ability often make it emotionally difficult for my loved ones to accept that care.
The fear of asking for help, the guilt of being cared for, the weight of someone you loved who could not be as free as you, the insecurity of not contributing enough, the fear that you were born wrong, the self-hatred that says you are not worth the effort, Nami Sanji Zoro Usopp Robin Chopper Ace they all explore the painful obstacles to free connection. Through deeply impactful stories that weave beautifully into the larger one.
All centered around this one person who views loving them and living with them and carrying them as essential to his freedom. Who cannot, for countless reasons, live a normalized life of Structured Relations. Who views exploring and bickering and suffering and laughing with them as the ideal way to live. Who repeatedly puts his life and limbs on the line to do so.
To me, it is an ultimate privilege and freedom to carry other people's burdens. To care for them and live with them. This is central to my whole perspective, and is completely informed by my life experience as a disabled person. I rarely see it reflected back to me. Let alone as powerfully and beautifully as Luffy does.
Nor the other half of it, of wanting to create this life with people in ways that aren't socially normal or approved. Of creating many varied lifelong intimate relations among equals, rather than conforming to the expectation of choosing One Person to live life with and then Creating More.
The utter lack of roles and norms is just as integral and powerful to the exploration of freedom and connection! It is meaningful to me as a queer person, yes, but even this is deeply influenced by my disability. I could never be that One Person, despite everything I have to offer, there is logistically far too much that I cannot do to be someone's equal partner in this society that demands so much from all of us. However, even if I could, I wouldn't want to! It doesn't make any sense to me to only have two people navigate life together on such intimate terms. Can't the demands of society be more comfortably met in a group? Isn't life more fun that way?
We are taught that we can and must do everything ourselves, I just happen to be one of the people that never had a chance to buy into that lie. To learn very early not just the necessity of interdependence, but the joy in it. To learn that it is most comfortably lived with more people involved. To me, close relationships are, love is, a natural extension of that understanding. One Piece celebrates interdependence constantly from the start, while never pretending that it is always easy.
The obstacles to free connection that I mentioned before, they are interspersed throughout the story, and they are always met with "I do the things you can't do, and you do the things I can't do." With, "Of course I can't use swords you dumbass! And I can't cook either! I don't know a damn thing about navigation! And I can't lie!"
These are intentionally impactful moments, and they define the series. I found it very fitting that the Fan Letter focused on a character who was empowered by Nami to feel free and live adventurously despite not being the most physically capable. The character is able by our definition, but the story is very affirming in a disability way, and it was extremely One Piece. I loved how it acknowledged this deep connection between One Piece and the lived reality of disability and celebrated it as integral as it is.
I also believe that absolutely none of this is intentional. It is simply an earnest exploration of human relationships, emotions, and behavior, and it naturally arrives at a radical and disability-affirming viewpoint. Because we are the monkey wrench in the deeply unhealthy (lol) and dominant line of thinking that independence is all. So naturally anything that also disputes that thinking has a disabled-perspective feel to it. The best part is how much it doesn't give a fuck! One Piece is aggressively against conformity in human relationships, in a way that is hard to find in our new world of self-conscious authors.
It's also, you know, the worst part, in terms of all the outrageous bigotry and offensive character design, but god damn it if it doesn't elevate the good parts to unbearable heights. Even the bad character designs can sometimes be more impactful for their intentional "ugliness", when those characters are inevitably taken seriously despite their appearance and the stereotypes they play on, it hits hard every time. I do have a simple hatred for many choices, there is no pay-off for much of the awful problems in numerous character designs and dialogue. But no matter how upset I can be by those things, in the end they can't succeed in pulling me away from One Piece. It's just so crazy and unique and great and terrible and beautiful and I LOVE IT.
#WOOF. FINALLY FINISHED THIS POST.#I am basically always trying to articulate this. I've written so many long posts.#but fan letter got me to give it my best effort once more. ITS SO GOOD!!! YES THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!!!!#i love especially the meaning of it being USOPP who finds mimi (my headcanon name for nami's fangirl) and gives her directions.#he who most recently and directly struggled with his lack of ability. she doesn't even know about that.... ough....#YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THE MOST CAPABLE TO GO ON ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!!! GO MIMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my posts#one piece#op fan letter#opfl#one piece meta#op meta#one piece analysis#op analysis#i guess lol i hope this reaches some people despite you know. being. how i am.#(intense and clearly having gotten very deep into my particular perspective after endless verbalizing)
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harrows a sped kid but gideon is a girl who should by all accounts at LEAST have a 504 plan but all adults dismiss her as merely combative and disruptive, at Best theyll throw in a "not utilizing her potential to the fullest." multiple teachers have vaguely alluded to her having ODD rather than think for a second about why she might be acting like that
#hi hello i have Thoughts#sorry this is so usamerica specific i cannot do an hour of research for every spur of the moment thought that hits me#anyway i have many ideas about how the education system would fail these two spectacularly#the ODD thing is pulled from my actual experience and also just the fact that brown kids are more likely to be labeled that#rather than adhd/autistic/ect#and its basically a death sentence on your fucking record#its not an actual judgement of it as a diagnosis just how its weaponized against struggling kids cool we all on the same page?#feel free to add on if you have your own thoughts#i just think constantly about how characters in the book disregard gideon as stupid#because she doesnt give a shit specifically about their magic version of stem#LEAVE HER ALONE I BET SHED LOVE LIT CLASS GET HER ASS ANTIGONE SHED LOVE IT
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i dew like to dewdle adoobeedoo
#makin my way through the kingdom hearts games yippee#i havne't played them since i was like seven its so fun gettin to play em again#and play all the games i missed too ;o;#i always love when they go to worlds and their appearances change the designs are so fun#no matter how many years pass drawing sora's hair is always the biggest struggle#damn his spiky anime protagonist hair#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts 3#sora#monstropolis
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Why would you—That's not—I just wanted to ask for help, why did you have to go and make it awkward???
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#xue yang#Its such a relief to not have to draw so many characters once again.#Redrawing the specific font from the English translated mdzs books was surprisingly fun!#Maybe I'm alone in this...but I think characters switching to a different font of speech for *emphasis* is peak comedy#you can't communicate voice changes of sound very well in non audio forms so this is the best I can do.#Anyways...rip Xue Yang. You finally meet your idol and he brushes you off#Rather— he doesn't live up to the expectations you built in your head#Kind of an on going issue there Jester (I refuse to call him king or sir)#XY is constantly making people out to be the versions he needed them to be to feel justified in his actions#but struggles to pivot when confronted with the fact that these ppl are *more* than just one surface reading!#wwx doesn't actually think xy is flirting. He's just tired of all the fake fans + wants to get out of this convo.#button mashing the A button to skip the unskippable cutscene#Lan Wangji is in the next comic btw. I've missed him dearly. I'm sorry he's been gone so long </3#edit: poorly spelt MDZS strikes again. This is why I need more time to write my comics. So I can actually proofread B*(#edit2: I cast 'Power of Technology' and fixed my error. Everyone reblog this version instead please
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