#QUITE A LOT HAS HAPPENED
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I posted 712 times in 2022
That's 712 more posts than 2021!
182 posts created (26%)
530 posts reblogged (74%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@player-membrane
@roach-with-a-knife
@kneltnotbowed
@ukagaka-zim
@z0mbeezbranez
I tagged 677 of my posts in 2022
Only 5% of my posts had no tags
#time-loopzim - 662 posts
#txt - 539 posts
#response - 464 posts
#stuckinaloop - 461 posts
#ask response - 121 posts
#notaroomba - 100 posts
#bloop - 65 posts
#invader zim - 37 posts
#reblog - 33 posts
#iz zim - 32 posts
Longest Tag: 134 characters
#is this some looming threat that haunts your dimension causing you to live in constant fear of it coming to devour your civilization?!
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
ZIM AWAITS YOUR QUESTIONING.
39 notes - Posted May 9, 2022
#4
Not that I care but, what's wrong with you?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ZIM.
IT'S EVERYTHING ELSE HERE THAT'S WRONG! I'VE RUN OUT OF PUZZLES, GIR KEEPS REPEATING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER (I MEAN, HE DID THAT BEFORE, BUT THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE). THERE'S ONLY SO MANY TIMES ZIM CAN BAKE OR KNIT OR PAINT BEFORE IT GETS BORING. IT'S THIS LOOP, THE FANCY PIG, THE DIB!
... the Dib...
A.. AND I'LL NEVER GET TO WATCH THE LAST EPISODE OF FLOOPSY BLOOPS SHMOOPSY BECAUSE IT HASN'T BEEN RELEASED YET AND NOOOOW, IT NEVER WILL!
RRRGH, THAT ROBOT.
THE ONLY SOLACE FOR ZIM IS MUFFINS AND TEAS WITH LITTLE TAPIOCA BUBBLES. THAT AND MAYBE THESE LITTLE TUMBL-CHAT DIVERSIONS.
50 notes - Posted May 9, 2022
#3
Have you tried playing an instrument
ACTUALLY, I'VE TRIED SEVERAL... WITH MIXED RESULTS.
MINIMOOSE REALLY LIKES DRUMS AND EVERY TIME I TRIED TO BRING HOME A WIND INSTRUMENT... EH, THIS WOULD HAPPEN:
See the full post
55 notes - Posted May 26, 2022
#2
OOOH! THE JUICE IS HERE!
@the-best-invader
70 notes - Posted June 18, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Have you tried drawing anything? Any little doodles?
YES, OF COURSE!
THIS IS NOWHERE NEAR ALL OF THE ALTERNATES ZIM HAS ENCOUNTERED, BUT BELOW ARE A FEW I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY TO SKETCH OUT.
@player-membrane @z-ib @space-roach0 @powerfulsexy-almighty-tallest@the-best-invader @z0mbeezbranez @agntm0thman @saves-from-stars @200-2im @the-galactic-hunters @thetrueultimatezim @askzim2000 @ukagaka-zim @kneltnotbowed @survivor-zim @nyanyanyaminimoose @gir-taqitooo @revengineer-tak @invader-t4k
313 notes - Posted May 28, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#TIME-LOOPZIM#QUITE A LOT HAS HAPPENED#ZIM WONDERS WHAT NEXT YEAR SHALL BRING#IZ Askblog Community
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What kind of spirit do you think Felassan waz?
Swag
#ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#<- this is my spoiler tag#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#mjs mailbag#robotslenderman#felassan#Best Elf#no but on a serious note its a great question and one which ive been thinkin about a lot#did Felassan manifest from the Fade or was he born in the early days still but of others who had manifested before him?#and if he did manifest from the Fade what kind of spirit was he. lets say for fun for this post that#he was a spirit. I feel like there's quite a few different things that could work in that scenario#he has wit in terms of smarts & snark & whimsy. he was part of a movement that opposed tyranny and valued freedom. back then he wanted#to protect innocents. he's charismatic and good w/ people. he was a loyal friend to solas and later on was loyal to briala. he's calm and#level-headed. steady. a slow arrow makes its way to its target/goal slowly but steadily and you dont see it coming#Wit.. Loyalty.. Friendship.. Freedom.. Steadfastness.. Charm.. Protection.. Resolve.. Duty#my personal hc atm tho is- if he was- Guidance ◕‿◕. “'I kindled nothing' Felassan said. [...] 'I merely offered guidance.'"#he spent the rebellion guiding an army as a General and giving Solas guidance on how to be a good leader interact w/ people be the face#of a rebellion and to stay on the right path as one of his advisors. later he was Briala's hahren/elder giving her guidance through TME#he signs codexes like ask for the slow arrow and i will help/guide you. he was looking after those of flesh and fade in the lighthouse#guidance can be given from both a second-in-command (subordinate) role and from a superior (elder to mentee) role#when we see him in a memory Solas welcomes the spirits in elven then says “lasa ghilan” which means grant/give guidance#and the very next thing that happens is that Felassan speaks. an Arrow gives direction. it POINTS THE WAY..
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sin eater
#sorry its been a minute!!! the horrors. you understand.#anyways yall ready for another gloom tag essay because here we go!!!#im constantly thinking about the ramifications of uzi literally eating cyn and her now being apart of her.#specifically how it impacts uzi mentally. like dgmw i LOVE the silly cyntail shenanigans in fanart (ive also contributed to this) however#when i really think about it in relation to uzi's arc i go crazy insane#uzi is a character who is grasping for control after a lifetime of not having it.#she has no control over how her peers treat her. she has no control over khan neglecting her for reasons that arent her fault.#she quite literally has no control over the solver taking her over and making her do monstrous things against her will#which solidifies her feelings of being a freak monster who everyone was right to outcast and mistreat.#because im Unwell i interpret her calling herself god as a way to convince herself of having control- and to lock away feelings of impurity#if anyone is in control- if anyone is loved and cherished despite any and all wrong doings- its a god.#and that all comes to a head when she eats the heart of cyn thereby destroying the AS- a literal manifestation of a corrupted god- for good#finally taking back control from the entity that had been terrorizing and traumatizing both her and her loved ones. but did she really?#cyn is apart of her now. powerless sure- but that doesnt take away the horrors she wrought previously#and even so- has uzi ever stopped being just a host? do you think shes terrified of cyn regaining power out of the blue?#do you think uzi ever stops feeling like a monster?#“sin eating” was a thing that happened where someone would consume ritual foods to take on the sins of a recently deceased person#thus absolving said deceased person of any sins and putting them onto the sin eater. being a sin eater ensured eternal damnation.#and i just think about that a lot. when applying that (symbolically ofc(somewhat literally. she very much is a cyn eater)) to what uzi did.#“gloom you're reading way too much into this” THE LITTLE GOTH ROBOT. MAKES ME INSANE IN THE HEAD. OK!!!!!#gloom.art#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones uzi#uzi murder drones#uzi doorman#uzi md#md uzi#uzi fanart
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Whenever Arthur talks badly about himself in the mirror I always think about this one picture
#because like#yeah#he sees himself as this cruel ugly bastard who will never make up for his sins#but ask quite literally anybody who knows him well and they'll say otherwise#the fact that his other relationships have failed for whichever reasons only reinforces his belief that he is unlovable and unworthy of love#which isn't true#arthur *wanted* to run away with mary more than anything even during the events of the game#after all those years he still *wanted* that#he wanted to run away with mary and be happy and be *loved*#and arthur knows that he has done a lot of bad#he says it himself that you can't live a bad life and expect good things to happen to you#but the whole idea of arthur being unable to see himself the way that others see him physically haunts me#oh arthur#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick thinks#arthur morgan#red dead redemption community#red dead redemption 2 spoilers
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Most annoying NMJ or JC take is when someone that dislikes them is like "oh you're a fan of him? *scoff* Well obviously you've only seen cql, where he was super watered down. In the novel he's a dislikable asshole and that's the objectively superior canon I'm working from instead of your woobified fanfic." Meanwhile your main canon is novel canon and you genuinely find novel Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue complex sympathetic characters.
#complaining and whining about fandom#mdzs#cql#the untamed#nie mingjue#jiang cheng#WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO THEM#it's quite funny because in nmj's case i actually see shit from cql being carried over to novel canon to hate on him#for example my's treatment under the nie was explicitly much worse in cql because they transplanted the langya captain to qinghe#while the worst we see post-promotion in the novel is cultivators (WHO AREN'T EVEN NIE!) wiping ther teacups#(they're visiting from other clans like xichen. That's also why none of them had seen meng yao before.)#you can absolutely choose to interpret that worse things were happening to him at the hands of the nie off-page#it's definitely possible! but cql has people acting like it's objective canon#also the thing about empathy being inaccurate and biased in nmj's favor#that's another cql thing. in novel canon wwx can and does see things nmj does not notice (like the teacups!)#so even if he has some insight into nmj's thoughts and feelings it quite literally can't be showing things exclusively from his perspective#it was a pretty cool ceative decision from cql! gave us some very interesting character moments!#but sometimes i see people discuss the novel going 'and this was warped by nmj's bias i bet he was even worse in reality' girl wrong medium#in jiang cheng's case a lot of hate seems to be coming from the corner of cql!mains too#so clearly it can't be *that* big a difference in likability
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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I just hope you don’t come to regret it..
You can think of this comic as a part 2 to the UI leaking the rot comic. Please check it out! (x)
#rainworld#rain world#unparalleled innocence#grey wind#chasing wind#rw comic#my art#i can finally faint im so tired haha#this was alot of work#excuse any mistakes i might have made especially near the end#a lot of it was done quite late#anyway this has been on my mind for a while#grey knows how it feels to be misunderstood#so while everyone else takes UI’s silence as telling#grey decides to investigate what happened. and figured she judged her wrong#this is pretty much how their friendship starts!#UI is right by saying she has a short lifespan. by the time of riv shes gone#even pebbles with his intense rot was still standing#ill take a break and look into my inbox later today#thank you for the patience!#hope the comic is enjoyable
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*gently opens the door, then kicks it the rest of the way open as dramatically as possible*
Mario normally being fully verbal but going nonverbal when his PTSD flares up so part of the reason he struggles to tell his loved ones when he’s struggling is because he physically *can’t* and this is a new development and he’s embarrassed so he just. Hides until it’s over and then pretends it never happened because he’s fucking terrible at balancing his pride and his coping mechanisms
This is now canon to my ‘verse.
#not quite back yet! but I had to write that down lest I forget it#I tend to go nonverbal when deeply upset so it’s based on a true story#being in retail means I’ve had to teach myself to force past it and keep talking anyway but it’s still challenging#(thankfully since moving from retail to tourism it doesn’t happen nearly as often and I can get space when I’m upset!)#before that if something triggered a nonverbal spell then I couldn’t talk for anywhere from several minutes to a couple of days#actually I still have a lot of moments where I go nonverbal and I’m just now coming to terms with that#because while I usually CAN still talk it’s extremely uncomfortable and draining#ALL THAT TO SAY#I am once again projecting onto my boy 😌#peaches has opinions
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a terrible side-effect of the higher-than-normal population of Friends of The Computer in Seattle is that people just don't make eye contact. You go anywhere else in America and people will occasionally make eye contact with you. They will be looking around and will look at you and it's no big deal if you happen to briefly look at each other. NOT SO IN SEATTLE. People AVOID a follow-on effect of this side-effect is that people almost never ever ever just say things to each other as they pass by or whatever unless it's to harass someone
#thanks I hate quite a lot about the culture here#seattle sucks#seattle#my blog#I went to Las Vegas last summer and at a bookstore I was approached by three separate people who wanted to say something about the books#that I was carrying - That is more in one bookstore visit than has ever happened in my entire time in Seattle#People here AVOID AVOID AVOID#The only hope in all this is that the people that do want to talk and itneract are doing that but sadly it's not spread out across the city#so when you find a professional circle or an activity group (running is a big one) where people do like chatting - then it'll be better
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“requiem for methuselah” crazy ass episode for many reasons. Kirk is being fully insane, like I don’t actually think, even controlling for how quickly and easily and readily he seems to fall in love with anybody at the slightest encouragement, that he’d go that bonkers for that android woman he just met while everyone on the ship was this close to dying, but that’s neither here nor there, because in the background you’ve got an equally but much more subtly insane episode for Spock, who extremely uncharacteristically admits to experiencing an emotion (or nearly experiencing, whatever) and that emotion is ENVY of all things. And then spends the rest of the episode warning Kirk away from this new love interest (something that doesn’t usually happen, even when Kirk has very inadvisable love interests) and is, in the end, the person who accurately identifies that Rayna’s competing love for Kirk and Flint is ultimately what overwhelms and destroys her with the most killer line in maybe history???
And then to wrap it up we get an equally uncharacteristic sort of denouement scene (TOS loooves to cut an episode off right after the actual climax, leaving little time for falling action or character reflection, or to stick a sitcom-y button on the end where the gang all smiles and laughs at their misadventures and everything resets to zero, which is not a criticism, it’s just the style of that era of tv, honestly) where Kirk is literally miserable over Rayna’s death (again, kind of unusual for a lot of his love interests, he tends to be able to move on pretty quickly) and Spock goes to see him and he falls asleep right in front of Spock (also odd) and then when Bones comes in to give the final word on Flint, Spock waves him off from waking the Captain (tender) and Bones gives him that awful speech about how it’s sadder that Spock can’t even imagine the love Kirk felt for this random android woman than it is that Kirk lost her in the first place (debatable but also rude) and how his great tragedy is that he can’t love at all like they can and how all he wishes is that Kirk could forget about all of this and move on. AND THEN, to have Bones leave and Spock go over to Kirk and very gently, tenderly, reluctantly touch him and put his hand to his forehead and tell him to forget and HAVE THAT BE THE END OF THE EPISODE??? What am I supposed to do with that??
#‘the joys of love made her human. the agonies of love destroyed her’ hUH. What a cool line.#hope it doesn’t become some sort of…thesis statement for you or something SPOCK#listen my number one beef with the way they write bones is that they just make him completely mischaracterize everything to suit the plot#this man is not an idiot he KNOWS Spock has emotions and just suppresses them#you’re going to tell me he’s been on that ship with Spock for years and thinks he feels no love whatsoever for anyone???#like even after what happened in the empath and in that episode where McCoy thought he was dying#he knows Spock loves people!!! COME ON#does he really just mean romantic love?? that’s so boring WRITE HIM BETTER#also they’re banking a lot on people remembering what the Vulcan mind meld is for that last bit#like I know it comes up a lot but…this is 1968 or whatever. They don’t have this shit on dvd to rewatch#you’re counting on really dedicated fan memory here or on people catching reruns#because otherwise it just looks like Spock waiting to be alone to touch Kirk as tenderly as possible and pray he forgets this woman#truly what’s going on#anyway I kind of hated this episode#like quite frankly there was too much going on#are androids people? would Kirk fall in love that hard that quickly and choose it over the safety of his crew?#why wasnt the illness ravaging the crew a bigger deal??#they didn’t even get into WHY flint was immortal#he was just a regular human and apparently the ONLY one who was granted immortality by the earth’s atmosphere#leaving aside the very creepy and very early born sexy yesterday trope going on throughout#but it was a really good Spock episode if you just….dont look at anything else….#the writer for this one also did Day of the Dove and Mirror Mirror which explains a LOT#two other episodes that are interesting for the character dynamics but really chaotic plot wise#anyway imagine saying to Spock’s face that he has no idea what love can drive a man to do#one has to laugh#tos#star trek#as always…. I’m sorry that I’m Like This
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I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc
#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#batman#batfamily#for all of the issues that come with having Steph as your fave having too much wild shit happening at once is never one of them#btw I quite like The Boy Wonder Issue 1. wow shocker an artist and writer who I have liked everything they've ever done#has once again written something that I am enjoying with art that makes me want to be part of its world.#it's almost like Juni Ba is really freaking talented or something#like I have some problems with it but it seems like many of those are part of the point. Damian is learning that his siblings are more#three-dimensional than he realized and that is part of this 'coming of age' story merged with fairytale#so I can't be mad at the oversimplistic defining of Dick and Jason and Tim until the conclusion of the series. that might be the point.#I hope that the series will address Steph as a Robin but if not then frankly it's not an issue unique to this series.#I'll be annoyed and disappointed but ultimately roll with it like I am with Babsgirl being here. There's too much good stuff here to get#hung up on shit that seems to be almost an editorial mandate at this point. at least that's where I'm at.#I am also very sorry that Chip Zdarsky is massacring your boy. he has 'X (Tim for him) is the best Robin so everyone else must suck' diseas#where a writer really likes one specific Robin and in trying to uplift them demeans all of the other Robins. instead of like...just writing#for that one character only or alternatively not demeaning the other characters in order to make his blorbo look good#it's wild because I actually think his writing for Tim is pretty solid. but he's not writing a Tim series. he's writing a Batman series.#and if you are going to write a Batman series and include other Batfamily members you need to actually write them well.#instead of assigning them like 2 personality traits while Tim gets to be a whole character#I accept that behavior in fanfic where I have lesser standards because it's fucking free. not a comic run that wants me to pay#tens of dollars in order to understand what the fuck is going on. he's been going for a while now it's gotta be a lot of money.#I can buy Steelworks with that money. I can see John Henry and Natasha Irons in a trade. Fuck you Chip.#it's why it takes such a special person to write a good ensemble story/a good Batfamily story. you have to be good at writing a LOT#of different characters. which I don't think most people are. I sure as hell am not. I can write maybe 3 at a time confidently well.#and you also have to give all of them at least SOME love or else people will be upset that you aren't focusing on their fave#and also the writing as a whole will suffer. Chip Zdarsky is a pretty good Tim writer. I'd maybe read a Tim solo written by him.#I would not read a story focusing on multiple characters that I like written by Chip Zdarsky. because every character who isn't Tim#is at least a bit weak/inconsistent/out of character INCLUDING FUCKING BATMAN. THE NO. 1 GUY MOST ARE HERE FOR
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is yas injured again????
#it definitely looks like it#or maybe she was panicking while they were getting chased and she doesnt want sammys help so she can “prove”#how much shes grown#(she alr did once but idk. maybe something happens that has her doubting herself or sammy doubting her again)#ofc she may be physically injured again#if so it looks more like a lower body injury#maybe her ankle acting up??#she canonically can't run on it like she used to; i'm pretty sure she HAD to quit sports#showing her chronic injury again would be a nice detail#it would show she's not magically healed just because a lot of time has past#yasammy#yasmina fadoula#sammy gutierrez#jwct#chaos theory#jurassic world#jwct trailer#jwct season 2#jwcc#jwct spoilers#s2 spoilers#chaos theory spoilers#jwct s2 spoilers
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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it's looking like a restless night for me once again and i can't lie at least half of that is the fault of me thinking too hard about how memory worlds work
#larry time#since starting to write FTBC ive been GRIPPED by the idea of like#an au where yana goes into a memory world to try and resolve his regrets wrt how kiru was treated when they were younger#but in the end he realizes that like. its just a memory he can't Fix it so all he can do is come to terms with what happened#because for how much i like to write them as being at each other's throats they do love each other very much. there's a lot that only they >#know and understand about each other.#and yana i think retroactively has a lot of regrets about like 'i would've helped her then' but he was a kid himself! and he didn't know!!!#and he doesn't quite understand that kiru doesn't blame him for that or for anything#shes just happy that he doesn't turn his nose up at her like the others on that side of the family#sorry guys they make me wanna chew batteries. maybe I'll draw some stuff for this au i dunno#BUT PAST THAT i wonder how different memory worlds Look for each person#like do they all glitch like karamatsus? or do they have different looks based on each persons sensibilities#so much to wonder about and it literally doesn't matter at all my god. im in too deep
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i think it's interesting how steph is like... the nerds see her as part of the popular group, and sure we see her talking to the cheerleaders a little, but other than that she doesn't really seem to be one of them in the truest sense? i could fully believe that she feels like the tiniest bit of an outcast there, like she's just cool enough for max to give her a pass but she doesn't really click with them that well. she feels to me like the bridge between the popular ones and the nerds, which is appropriate i suppose for her place in the story.
#idk i just keep turning this feeling around in my brain#that she doesn't Quite feel like she's actually proper friends with that lot#in my mind steph is pretty lonely before she starts talking to pete and by proxy the other nerds#like... i feel like the cheerleaders are friendly with her but they don't really Get each other#or enjoy each other's company That much#maybe even on their side there's some slight intimidation factor of her being the mayor's daughter and it's still a bit isolating#poor girl :(#but it's ok now she has real friends :]#... well. at least one. i honestly can't tell if pete and steph would even hang out with grace after everything#even ignoring The Ending And What That Implies#even if that didn't happen#i still don't think??? they would be besties with her#which is interesting for like. yknow. the main protag group who's been through everything together#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#hatchetfield#stephanie lauter
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Expect a page dropping tomorrow!
:realizes gravity still works on this hellsite:
:picks up all the crap dropped:
#busy week#had lots of things happen in a span of 3 days and has not quite recovered yet#decided self care was needed this week#artist woes
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