#Please don't be mean to me I'll cry
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(N̶o̶) Progress Update 11/02/2023
Hello everyone,
Firstly I would like to apologize for not updating and for disappearing and coming back and then disappearing again and then coming back without any mentions of progress. I really do appreciate all the asks and support despite my absence and lack of updates so I thought I'd write this to at least explain why, I feel shitty leaving people who want to read the story in the dark. I hope this offers some sort of explanation. More below the cut if you're willing to listen to a strangers feelings, it's kinda long so you don't need to read it if you don't want to😅
(Another thing, please forgive me if I come off as rude and annoying, social interaction is definitely not my strong suit)
The reason I haven't been making progress is because I can't write, I'll open my laptop or book, sit down and just stare at it. No thoughts, just emptiness in my head. I think it mostly comes from this fear I have, of not being good enough or that I'll write something that will disappoint people. So I procrastinate and put it off, distracting myself by playing games and doing anything except the one thing I need to do. Honestly don't even read much because it reminds me off writing.
I'm afraid that I will not be able to grasp the personalities of all the Canon characters and end up messing up and writing dialogue is something I'm afraid of too, I do not interact with people much and the kind of person who keeps quiet during conversations due to not knowing what to say and anxiety so I struggle with writing dialogue (Hope that makes sense😭). There's alot of elements to Naruto and I'm afraid I won't be able to manage it and as a huge Naruto fan I don't want to write something that will cause a disservice to such a well-written story.
To sum it all up: I am afraid of writing, and not being good enough, (I'm also a very lazy person I think). When people (in my case that is) are afraid of something they'll likely want to avoid it all they can, and that's what I've been doing. However I'm trying to overcome this fear and maybe setting goals will help. This story is something I do not want to abandon because Naruto is very dear to me, it sits in a special place in my heart, being able to be part of it is something I want and need (kinda cheesy lol😶). I also don't want to abandon readers and everyone who is waiting on this story so please, wait a while longer (If you want that is).
This is not a guarantee that I will update soon but it will update one day (unless I die or something beyond my control happens). I think this all I have to say, damn it's almost been an hour since I started writing this😆.
I hope all of you reading have a lovely weekend...and week...and month and year and-
Thank you all :)
#naruto fanfiction#naruto#interactive fanfiction#if#if wip#interactive fiction#progress update#i'm sorry#Please don't be mean to me I'll cry#Thank you for waiting
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i like to imagine that as soon as the words "someone arrived today, they said they're taking you away" left calypso's mouth, odysseus "sat at the beach every day for 7 years crying for his wife & son" of ithaca immediately jumped up wiped his tears away
then swiftly (without a glance at calypso), walked over to a bush/foliage near the beach and grabbed all the stuff he had been accumulating for 7 years during his prison stay, ready for the day he can leave this place.
#listen i adore/love the songs and especially wangui's beautiful singing voice#but i'm sorry#i don't like calypso#yesssss i get she says she's been alone for 100 years+#but at the same time you have a man crying about how he just wants to get back home to his wife and son#and you're still like#why in the world won't you love me too?#ma'am please#sorry i don't mean to rant#please don't yell at me if you love calypso!#i'll cry#as i said i still love the song tho#i know this isn't meme-y like my other posts#but i had to get it off my chest#odysseus epic#calypso epic the musical#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga
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LALECHINGO!! ; a birthday event
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ it’s bingo! and also a raffle.
let’s party!! one thing about me is that is love a little event and since it’s my birthday month i felt like hosting one :3c
so: raffle time! but you gotta play some bingo first before you can participate. lemme give you a rundown on how it works.
what's the prize?
✰ a total of three 1k (or longer) fics from me! i don’t take requests so this is a rare chance to see something specific written by me ✰ the 3 winners will receive a wishlist form from me in which they can go wild ✰ haikyuu x reader only! gender of reader is for the winners to decide, i’ll write for all of them. ✰ not limited to sfw only (that being said: mdni)
details & rules (it looks like a lot, but i promise it's easy)
✰ to participate in the raffle, you gotta fill out the bingo cards! there’s ten of them in total at the end of this post. some are writing prompts, some are for reading, some to spread some kindness. you can grab and combine any that catch your interest.
✰ 1 bingo equals 1 point. if you manage to fill out an entire card, you’ll get 10 points, so 10x your name in the draw pot for the raffle. this means you can get up to 100 points in total if you fill out all ten cards completely.
✰ it’s not first come, first serve! you got two weeks to have fun with your bingo cards.
✰ this event is mostly about making fandom a little better for everyone, whether you’re a writer or a reader, no matter how you participate in it. this means you don’t have to show me proofs how you got these bingos. putting my trust in you that you won’t cheat <3
✰ since the prizes are gonna be fics by me, i would feel better knowing you actually like my works enough to follow me. however, it’s not a must to be a follower to participate. again, it’s more about fandom than me.
✰ writers picking up the writing prompts: it up to you how you use them! can be drabbles or headcanons, small fics, big fics, moodboards, not limited to haikyuu only. really whatever sparks your inspiration. you don’t even have to publish it or tag me in it (though i’d love to see ofc hehe), this is for YOU and your inspiration.
✰ do NOT bring any ai into this. i'll rip you to shreds
✰ once you’re finished, either reblog this post with your bingo cards or send me an ask with them (i won’t publish them, just for me to keep track)
✰ i’ll draw & announce the three winners on Jan 27th and will contact them through dms for their wishlist :3
card 1-6 ; for the writers
card 7 & 8 ; for the readers
card 9 & 10 ; for the kindness
that's all! have fun ♡ - Lale
#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#-`♡´- lalechingo#← filter this one if you don't wanna see any of it on your dash. no hard feelings <3#ps: your girl's an aquarius so no early bday wishes please lmao#also i'll ramble in the tags so bear with me. this is actually my dream event so there's that#i've rotated this one in the back of my mind for a long time and i'm feeling a little shy releasing it into the wild now#but i'm being very brave about it!! (me when i lie)#you see. one thing about me is that i love giving people a little homework. but also to make it a little silly bc what else is there to do#trying to make fandom the place i want it to be. by no means i believe i can do that on my own but i can try by doing my part right?#also big kiss to ellie who came up with the name for this and is a constant source of reassurance and joy ily <33#same for the peeps in the server who let me ramble about this idea and hyped me tf up for it!#this idea also saw the light because of you all. ily all thanks for being these amazing souls that you are <3#told myself i wouldn't get sappy in the tags but oh well. hi hello gang can you hold my hand while i cry pls#anyway. let's play some fucking bingo my guys!!
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#you know I really do love it when your teachers take you aside and look you dead in the eye and say that you're not trying hard enough#like dude I am trying. I spent four hours every day of my break aside from Christmas Eve and Christmas Day studying#I'm sorry that I can't remember this specific Sanscrit word or specificall when Aristotle was born but dear God I'm trying#please don't say I'm not putting in enough effort#let alone tell me that on the Big Exams where I don't get a re-do I'll barely pass#because you *are* making me feel like I know nothing#and discouraging me is going to do no good for my memory#and now I'm crying over the fact I can't identify a fucking subordinate clause and the head word in a noun phrase#because yeah that's the absolute basics and I could do it two weeks ago and now I can't and that means I am not trying hard enough#I'm academically useless and absolutely pitiful#and if I don't do well they'll put me in extra classes again which I don't have time for nor do I need because they never help in the way#that I need help#one day back at school and I'm already contemplating just saying I'm sick again#I don't know#I don't want to be here
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guys. guys both Poseidon and hermes think they're terrible fathers but they were both willing to make unimaginable sacrifices to make sure their sons were safe. guys. guys pay attention
#please#please i beg#please let them be happy#the fact that only poseidon was brave enough to meet his son face to face#and hermes stayed away out of fear that luke would spit in his face if he asked forgiveness#which i mean he would but GOD if it doesn't hurt me to think about#they're both still terrible absentee parents but they're so broken its hard to hate them yk#especially hermes#hes a good enough dad in my book#percy jackson#pjo#pjo tv show#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo series#i'll just be over here crying don't mind me#hermes you make me weep
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isn't it lovely? all alone, heart made of glass, my mind of stone. tear me to pieces, skin to bone. hello, welcome home.
- lovely by billie eilish — original images loki: [x] | [x] | [x] | [x] | [x] | [x] bucky: [x] | [x] | [x] | [x] | [x] | [x] shared: [x] | [x]
texture credits! n/a
( made with @ash-muses' loki in mind )
#ooc#crow edits#ashmuses#bucky barnes : a wanted man#all my brain could think about was 'these two men are LONELY AS BALLS' and then I ended up here#that last image on Loki's is a village in Hungary that kept showing up when I was looking for references for our thread#I ended up just going with it despite the geographical location probably not being correct in the slightest#also I've decided this font is the Loki/Bucky font for me#Please Write Me a Song is the only one I'll use for edits of them in the future x#this is my apology for not replying yet lmao#I could write an essay about why I picked these pictures but I'm not going to x#(the meanings are linked; I like to match meaning or aesthetics when doing these)#the text positioning is also incredibly intentional btw#i feel like if you recognise those two images then you'll understand the intent#(the intent is making people cry x)#this took like 3 hours bcus everything looked bad#i don't wanna talk about that#eye burn warning#eyeburn warning#l o n g b o i#eyeburn
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You've seen first ten pull now get ready for~
First single pull!!! (((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ)))(((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ)))(((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ)))
Now you must be looking at this like
'Wait Kazzie you were talking about Eiden rooms, how did you just now get him?!'
I pulled him in Bliss first. ˋ( ° ▽、° ) This is my main.
Of course since I pulled him first try off this banner that means when Demon King Eiden rerun comes up those 190 red gems are going into the void with nothing in return. _(:з)∠)_
Sadness . . .
#nu carnival#Picture me in bed#I just finished my dailies#Got a contract off the latter to made a ten bundle#That means I can do single pulls with gems#Stare at the banner longingly#My Bliss account is for mainly fucking around and pulling when I can't pull on main#So the Eiden there is never gonna get used in any hard battles and what not#Fuck it yolo#I'll just pull with gems so my contracts are safe for the time being until I get another single contract and I'll stop#Pull I see the rainbow#Oh I got someone#There's no way it's Eiden right#'Don't be scared. 'I' will protect you'#He actually fucking dropped#Cover my face and cry#dies laughing forever#No seriously#I'm gonna be so fucking sad when/if I don't get DKEiden#/(ㄒoㄒ)/~~/(ㄒoㄒ)/~~/(ㄒoㄒ)/~~#God please Eiden#Bless me again and I'll never ask for anything else for the rest of the year
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oh good, wild life is over, now i can catch up on the whole thing in one fell swoop and possibly overwhelm the dash with my rabid Posting.
#ngl i've been avoiding tumblr bc my blocked words list is airtight but some of y'all bitches don't be tagging spoilers LMFAO#and my brain literally Would Not Let Me watch wl so. that was fun.#once i get off of my three days in a row and get into the weekend. the marathon is fucking ON broskis#hope ur doing well hermiblr imy#*#also maybe wild life ending means i'll stop getting replies to my comment on one of Joel's videos that predates it#''you predicted it!!'' yes yes you and ten other people really do think so. please stop my notifs are crying#← still doesn't quite understand what wild life's premise is because she only watched etho's first episode and that man explains NOTHING#and so was technically spoiled :) by random YouTube commenters :) nowhere is safe :) :) /hj
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I'm scared
#i mean don't get me wrong I appreciate that this mechanic allows the companions to have some agency#but it's going to hurt so much if Preston says no thanks T_T#i might actually cry#come on i've already cried enough over this game please Preston accept my proposal#i'll do anything#fallout#fallout 4#fallout 4 companions#preston garvey
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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🍊✨
I wanted to draw her (transparent version and reference under the cut)
#it's actually the first time i've drawn her#which is tragic#i need to draw more in general but also draw her more#i am actively not noticing the mistakes or whatever#i simply just Do Not See them#and neither do you#mikan sakura#gakuen alice#gakuen alice mikan sakura#ga#gakuen alice fanart#please don't be mean or i'll cry#images have alt text#part of me wants to draw natsume too but i make absolutely NO PROMISES on that#my cleverly named art tag
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Did I make this blog just so I can post a wallpaper I made for my MC for @infamous-if? Maybe
Phoenix Cadence: he/they
(The large quote is from the Given movie, just adjusted to be related to Phoenix!)
(More stuff in the tags)
#infamous if#this if has consumed all of my waking thoughts i am in shambles#phoenix is just#very emotional and keeps it all inside#that one john mulaney meme#“i'll keep all my emotions right here and then i'll die”#was all impulsive and a little shit and then seven left#did a complete 180 in personality#secretive little fucker who is now so so afraid of getting close to others#infamous if oc#went from wearing their heart on their sleeve to wearing it on their cheek#went from “I'll do what I want” to “people pleaser extraordinaire” because they're afraid of people leaving#i mean they were already afraid of people leaving before but WOW was seven the final nail in the coffin#has like no social media presence#[pats phoenix] this baby can fit so much trauma!#[pats phoenix once more] whooo boy the ideas of their family fills me with both rage and disappointment#sad thing that makes me cry every time: Phoenix's name was given to them by Seven#when they were trying to see what name fits them better after figuring out they were trans#they hate being the “leader” of the band because they don't want to make a decision that causes someone else to leave again#anyways please talk to me about my ocs i have so much brainrot#this is literally just the tip of the iceberg i've got a pinterest board and two playlists#if i could draw and photoshop you'd best BELIEVE i'd be drawing them nonstop skfjskfj
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Ramble/update/vent
#I realized I only passed out on the couch for 2 hours.....#I know he's upset but I'm still considerate of people when I'm upset#I think he's thinking about my mom#and I think he was mad cus I look like her when I pass out#she used to sleep all the time and they would fight about it#I wish I could pull her DNA out of me with my bloody hands#I'm gonna vent and post p-rn on and off cus I'm depressed#part of me wants to cut but I know it would be just for attention#...it's hard to not wanna cry for help without speaking#I'll try to answer asks n DMs#I'm just SO sad and need a hug but I can't get one#my dad is just so mean without trying and since he wasn't trying he won't make it better:(#I need to fall asleep in someone's arms after a sobbing sesh please I'm so sad and lonely#I basically got banished to the other room#and when I left he didn't say anything to me he's giving me Luke warm shoulder#I'm very stresssed and wanna cry n sleep with someone safe#I don't have anyone safe :(
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sorry i keep talking about this but genuine question am i crazy for thinking that this holiday he's on is borderline unacceptable when i didn't have too much of a problem with the one he took last year? bc last year they went camping in some town in tuscany which is like. okay fine i'm not missing some big experience i'm just missing the campsite pool lol who cares plus that's such a friend holiday. but this year he's touring a whole fucking country and sending me amazing pictures of all the landscapes and shit and that's like. something he should wanna do with me if he loves me otherwise why the fuck are we even together. this man wants to design a whole apartment with me but doesn't care enough to allow me to go on a holiday in croatia, especially knowing that me not going means i won't go anywhere at all for a very long time? i'm sorry but my brain can't even begin to understand let alone accept that
#if you're reading this please i'm really asking if i'm being unreasonable#bc unfortunately that's something i'll never be able to indipendently evaluate#plus i know from all these posts everyone must be like yeah i wouldn't take her on holiday either but i promise i'm not like this irl#i mean i am but secretly! nobody knows bc i'm not (usually) the explosive type i turn everything inward#you don't get it i'm the world champion of silent crying no one knows how insane i am#AND his friends fucking love me bc i'm nicer than him AND also i'm easiest breeziest girl they've ever seen bc i'm scared of boundaries lol#oh also my grandma is fine it was just low blood pressure <3#(...)
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You know what it is?
The people doing that don't follow this blog, so they're probably just liking/reblogging the old mix because it gets recommended when you like the other posts.
But still, that would imply that these people are coming from the tags, where the new version should still be showing up, so I still don't get it ;w;
#i dunno#i know they don't mean it like that#but it is hurting my heart a little#to have the new version get overshadowed by the old one due to algorithm BS#i don't really note-chase per say#i'll rarely encourage y'all to reblog or otherwise engage with my posts#what's bothering me isn't that the new one isn't getting attention (it's been less than a day. i can't be that upset yet)#it's that the old one is#i'm almost tempted to private it just so it'll stop happening#but i think that's a little petty#even if the old one sucks compared to this one#the fact that people are still willing to engage with it just means they like it#which isn't a bad thing#i was proud of it at the time. i've just come a little further now#but it kinda hurts me when that happens#it's like i wanna cry out#'please I've done better than this! look at the better thing!'#but such as it is~#i'm sorry for the spam. this will hopefully be the last one. i'm just a little excited about getting this all done
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☎️ Don't Call Me ☎️
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Summary: After catching your boyfriend cheating, you find accidental comfort in your coworker. With your phone ringing nonstop, you're willing to do whatever it takes to start fresh.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, bug mentions (cockroaches), cheating, exhibitionism, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, slight spanking, mentions of masturbation. Dom! Spencer.
A/N: Haha... hi guys... been a while 😚 Please enjoy the fic I dreamed up over a month ago now, and was finally able to conjure up!
Masterlist
If you were to be asked how you assumed a five-year-long relationship would end, you'd likely say something like irreparable differences. Maybe a difference in lifestyle, growing out of love, or even different plans for the future. Unfortunately, the irreparable difference your boyfriend had chosen at 10 pm on a Thursday evening was being balls deep in an irreparably different woman.
You supposed you should've seen the signs the relationship was drawing to a close and likely you did, but with your job itself being a life or death situation almost daily, you really didn't have much time to worry about the fact that your boyfriend was sowing his oats in other fields. Based on the look of the woman spread across your bed, the oats weren't that great for her either.
Your reaction had been somewhat delayed, but curiously not as much as hers. She'd been wonderfully blasé about the man writhing on top of her before you started screaming and throwing things, and even now you were armed with a vase of flowers (dead - you'd bought them yourself before the case you'd been on for the last two weeks) she still looked slightly bored. But at least her legs were together now, and not gynaecologist level apart.
Your boyfriend - ex-boyfriend? - managed to regain an ounce of dignity with a scrap of clothing, and did his best to shepard you out of the crime scene as you regained the ability to hold coherent thoughts that weren't about strangling him with his own tie.
“Listen to me, please just for five minutes-”
“Listen? I was just listening! To you moaning into that woman's shoulders with your eyes rolled back in your head!”
It was as if in the last few minutes all the love you'd had for this man, all five years of relationship and comfort, and nights spent together had melted away in an instant. The rage dissipated, and you were surprisingly calm again, though that worried you, too. Surely you should be crying, or at the very least upset. You should be feeling some kind of emotion that wasn't a vague disgust at the man in front of you in full pooh bear mode, trying to tug down the hem of his shirt to cover the crown jewels.
“It didn't mean anything. She doesn't mean anything. She's just - You're gone so long on cases, and I just-”
“So you're saying it's my fault you're cheating on me?”
“Yes! No, wait, no, no, no, no-”
“No, heard loud and clear, I'll try not to save lives in the future, I'm sure the BAU will understand I should be on my back 24 hours a day instead, taking all four inches you have to donate to my worthy cause.”
“Y/N, don't be like that,” he said, exasperated. Whatever he had to be exasperated about, you had no idea. Maybe blue balls.
“Like what?”
“Like a bitch!”
The room went still with silence as you let him sit with the words he'd just spoken, willing him to snap back quickly so you could keep even just a shred of respect for him.
No such apology came.
“I'm leaving now. I expect your things packed and out of here by 12 pm tomorrow, including your thing in the bedroom. Don't bother cleaning the sheets. Just burn them. Lock the door and post the keys through the letterbox when you're done.”
“Y/N, I told you it's not like that, I still love you, come on-”
“Well I don't love you. And please go put some fucking pants on.”
You stepped back over the threshold of your apartment - the lovely, nice apartment you'd been living in for the last eight years, your nice safe space - and you shuddered.
The question wasn't exactly what next, but more like where next. What next was sending a group text in your ex-boyfriends family chat telling them what you'd walked in on, and then leaving the chat before you could get any response. The where would be a harder sell.
From this part of the city, it'd take 2 hours to get to Penelope’s apartment, especially at this time of night without a car. Emily's apartment was similarly far. Going through a list of your coworkers again, you mentally crossed off Tara, who'd been injured on your last case and was resting at her girlfriend's apartment, Luke, who despite the promised comfort of a cute dog, you were absolutely sure didn't have a spare bed, and all members of the team with spouses and/or children. Which left just Spencer and Rossi.
Needless to say, you found your way to Spencer's apartment in only 20 minutes, though you were sure you had disassociated the entire thing.
Knocking on the door, you felt a little bit awkward, but not awkward enough to leave and find a hotel at nearly 11 pm. Your last case hadn't been a pleasant one, hotel-wise, and you weren't exactly eager for another check-in.
Spencer opened the door quickly, his eyebrows knitted in confusion as he found you there but only for a brief flash before his face brightened up.
“Y/N? Do we have a case again? I thought Hotch said-”
“Can I stay here tonight?” you blurted, needing to get the words out as quickly as possible before you convinced yourself to walk away.
Spencer took a moment to take in your words, and you took the opportunity to look at him then. He was fully clothed at least, and you were glad to find that his pajamas looked comfortable and clean. A simple plaid cotton pant with a soft-looking white long sleeved shirt pushed up his arms slightly. He'd taken out his contacts and put on his glasses, and you wondered if you'd caught him mid-book.
“Please?” you added in a hopeful voice as he still looked at you slightly confused.
“Oh, of course,” he said, stepping aside and gesturing inside. “Is there something wrong with your apartment?” he asked, taking your go-bag from you without question and guiding you into the main living space of his apartment.
“Thank you, yeah. Something like that. Shoes off or on?”
“I have some slippers. You can take them off. What happened?” he said, placing the slippers in front of you and turning back to bolt the door.
“Invasive species?” You said, trying to sound as nonplussed as possible despite now feeling incredibly plussed.
“Oh, bugs? Yeah, I've had a cockroach or two in the apartment before. Did you know that the average female cockroach can produce up to 10,000 offspring in a single year?”
You sat on his couch quietly, trying not to imagine 10,000 cockroaches and failing nearly spectacularly. Unfortunately, the only image that could surpass tiny cockroach babies was of your boyfriend pounding away at another woman. Which was just a brilliant move for your psyche.
“Spencer, I know I've really intruded here tonight, but do…. Do you wanna drink with me?” You asked, hoping to drown at least a memory or two of the last 24 hours. Hopefully, the cheating one, but you'd take cockroach extermination as well.
A slightly worried look settled on Spencer's face, but he said nothing and nodded, walking to his kitchen, grabbing two beers and meeting you back on his loveseat.
“Oh you really have beer here!” You exclaimed, thanking him for the beverage before cracking it open and taking a sip.
“Morgan came over with some to celebrate 6 months out of prison. These are leftovers.”
“Right… right…”
The first few sips were so painfully awkward that you thought about returning back to your apartment and just sleeping on your own couch.
Vaguely, you felt Spencer watching you, taking a sip of his drink for every sip you took of yours.
“So…” you said, and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow again, already questioning whatever was about to come out of your mouth.
“So?” he asked. You weren't sure if it was the beer, the look on his face, or the crazy implosion of the last 5 years that had you giggling all of a sudden. You were just glad that when you cracked up, he cracked a smile as well, and a little bit of the tension went away.
“Why are you really here, YN?”
You took a deep breath and looked straight forward at the bookshelves Spencer had lovingly filled. Maybe this had taken him half a decade as well, so he'd understand how your life felt a little bit like a wobbly bookshelf at that second.
“The invasive species I mentioned? It was the woman screwing my boyfriend in my bed. Ex. Ex-boyfriend.”
You heard the intake of breath from Spencer before he put his can down and started thinking of something to say in reply to that.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh… Y/N, I-”
A shrill ringing cut him off, and you were almost glad to not be on the receiving end of whatever pitiful words he was about to push on you, until you checked the caller ID and saw your ex's name.
“Don't pick that up,” Spencer said as you hesitated towards the phone. With a hand over yours, he flipped the phone over, locking eyes with you as he let it ring out.
“He's just going to try it again.”
“Let him.”
You nodded, breaking eye contact and sinking back into Spencer's slightly wilted couch cushions.
“In your bed? Really?” he asked, talking another sup as you took a gulp, letting the beer fizz down your throat before you could answer.
“I told him to expect me tomorrow because of how the case was looking. I guess he wasn't expecting me.”
“I think that was a given. Unless he was into that. Exhibitionism is one of the most common kinks among adult males, and-”
“Oh he was not into exposing himself,” you laughed into your drink, propping your head up on your hand and turning to face Spencer more. He shot another questioning glance but didn't push the issue, so you silently explained as well. By pinching your fingers together to the approximate size of your ex-boyfriend's dick.
“Oh. Well, it's not the size that counts?” He whispered almost ironically as he took another sip, now much closer than before. You'd done your best to distance yourself from your boyfriend even as he'd followed you through your apartment half naked, but you didn't seem to find Spencer's proximity threatening at all.
Maybe because he wasn't having sex with a random woman in your bed 5 seconds before.
“You wanna know the worst part?” You said, leaning closer as if to tell him an even bigger secret. “He didn't even know how to use it. I haven't-”
Another phone call blasted through, and you grabbed your phone and put it behind you.
“He's really great at interrupting conversation when it’s just getting good,” Spencer laughed, but you were slightly disappointed that he'd leaned back away now.
“What was it you were saying?” He asked, taking a swig of beer again, can nearing its close.
“I haven't had an orgasm in almost three years,” you said bluntly, watching the most genuine spit take you’d seen in your life. You pat Spencer's back as he coughed up inhaled beer, bringing your feet up under you into a cosier position.
“Okay now?” you asked as his breathing returned to normal.
“No? Three years, Y/N? Really?”
You shrugged and looked away almost embarrassed to be meeting his eyes now that your sexual history was the topic of the night.
“We had sex. He's just… he's just a really lazy lover. It'd be the same stuff every time. Handjob to some clumsy fingers missing my clit, a few pumps and cum on my face. I wasn't exactly initiating seven days a week in the hopes that this time he'd be able to locate it.”
Spencer was somewhere between horror and trying not to laugh, eyes wide with either alarm or the strain of having to keep it in.
“It's okay, you can laugh,” you said, but he shook his head politely.
“Y/N, I was in prison and still had more orgasms than you this year.”
“Hey, I hear prison is a great place to meet new people. Have new experiences.”
Spencer shot you a quickly horrified look as his cheeks flushed with heat. “Y/N, I was not someone's bitch in prison.”
“Why not? You're pretty enough for it?”
You'd meant the line to come across as teasing, just as you'd expected the finger now twisted in a lock of his hair, playing with him, to come off as teasing as well.
But you felt a definite throb between your legs when he looked at you again, doubly so when his eyes darted down to your lips.
You cleared your throat and tried for a teasing tone once again.
“So you made someone else your bitch?” you smiled, trying to drag his eyes away from your lips before you did something you'd regret.
“No. I… I spent a long time in solitary, and there's… there's really not that much to do.”
“So you did yourself?”
The tips of his ears were scarlet when you finally decided to back off, tucking the curl of hair behind his ear and letting him cool off.
“Why didn't you masturbate then?” he asked, pouting slightly still from your interrogation.
“Excuse me?”
“Your boyfriend couldn't make you cum, but a vibrator probably could. But you still haven't had an orgasm in three years. Why is that?”
It was your turn to feel the heat, the warmth from the beer finally reaching your head.
“He didn't want me to.”
You didn't mean for the words to sound as sad as they did. The fact itself was just incredibly sad. Your boyfriend saw anything vaguely phallic shaped as competition and had encouraged “organic” coupling instead.
You waited for Spencer to say something else, anything else as you held his gaze, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and him to start talking down to you as if you were simply a victim of the worst sex in the world.
Instead, he said “so did that other woman look as miserable as you've been for the last three years?” and the spell was broken.
You laughed so hard, you nearly choked on the beer you'd already finished. This time, it was Spencer's turn to land a hand on your back as you winded yourself with laughter.
“She looked bored! She looked genuinely bored. I almost thought it was just a lifelike doll, she was that unphased,” you kept giggling between gasps, forcing the words out as you threw your head onto Spencer's shoulder, hand landing on his thigh as you finally calmed down.
“I'd be horrified if anyone looked bored while in bed with me,” came Spencer's voice, and a little shiver ran down your spine as the rasp of his whisper rang in your ear.
You looked up from his shoulder and caught his eye immediately. If you wanted to, you could lean up by a centimetre and catch his lips with yours. And you suddenly, very much wanted to do that.
A final shriek of your phone behind you deterred you for a few seconds, and you were about to work yourself up to scooting a little bit away from Spencer when he leaned over you, grabbed the phone, and hung up on your boyfriend.
“Do you want to cum, Y/N?” he asked, as quietly as before as his hands traced over you on their return journey to him. He looked down your body, eyes greedily drinking in your breasts, hips, thighs and legs tucked into his side on his couch.
You didn't know what you were going to respond when your head practically nodded by itself. Enthusiastically.
He doesn't immediately pull you in for a kiss, and you're worried for a beat that he meant that only as a hypothetical and not an invite. A final cry from your phone has you standing in seconds, completely detached from Spencer, and the nearly embarrassing moment you pouncing him would've been.
“I should probably take it this time,” you explained, turning slightly.
But Spencer was faster than you, if not more prepared for what was to come. Wrapping an arm around your waist, Spencer tugged you back, pulling you onto his lap. When you were firmly situated - ass over his now evidently firm cock - he grabbed the phone out of your other hand, hung up and put it in his pocket.
“Spencer, I-I don't think that's a good idea,” you gasped as his hands slowly progressed up to your chest, and his lips dropped to your neck, biting and sucking along whatever flesh was easy for him to access.
“You need to cum. You deserve to cum, Y/N. I'm just here to help. Use me.”
You stifle a sharp, quick moan, biting your lips and thanking God that he couldn't see the face you made when his hips ground his cock up into your ass.
“I'm probably not ready for this,” you stuttered slightly, breath departing your body quicker than it could arrive.
“Probably not.”
“We work together, too. It would be awkward.”
“It might,” he nodded. “But you still want to.”
You couldn't help the moan, finally letting it free as you tossed your head back and clawed at his forearm, wrapped around you.
Your ass had a mind of its own, grinding back into him in circles as his hands found their way under your shirt, inquisitive fingers stroking your nipples through your bra.
“S-Spencer,” you whimpered again, legs spreading apart as you felt that familiar warmth settle between them. He didn't miss the longing in your tone, the shift in your core, pushing one hand down your stomach and trailing it onto your thigh.
It was as close as he could get with your pants still on, tight against your skin. He squeezed your thigh, still licking and sucking at your neck before his hand rose to the clasp of your pants.
It took him a long lime to fumble with them, and you thought of helping multiple times but you let yourself get distracted by the tense definition of his muscles, the rigid line of his body as he strained to please you.
Your mind fogged with lust, and you felt the vibrations from his pocket right under you when your phone rang again. You practically jerked up in shock as pleasure hit you in a wave, Spencer's fingers finally dipping into your panties just as the vibrations hit you. They weren't centred, of course, not anywhere close to where you needed them to be for you to enjoy them the way you would a toy, but that's what Spencer was for.
He let the call ring out, tracing small, slow circles over your clit as you jumped up into his hand, moaning and whimpering the entire time.
“What an idiot. I bet he never touched you like this. Nice and slow.”
“N-no, S-s-”
“I'm so glad I'm right. He didn't deserve this beautiful cunt. You're so wet for me, right, baby?” You nodded and he hummed in response, voice low and making you pulse in his lap.
“That's it, good girl,” he whispered as you worked your cunt up and down his fingers, stilling himself so you could find your own pleasure.
“Spencer… Spencer, fuck-”
With his free hand, he turned your face to the side and finally kissed you properly as you moaned into his mouth. He was quick to deepen the kiss, to press his tongue against the seam of your mouth and enter your mouth, quickly dominating you as you let yourself get more and more excited. Your hips stuttered, out of rhythm and out of practice, and you almost whimpered in frustration that you couldn't get off quicker, that your body wasn't finding the orgasm quick enough despite how good, how perfect this felt.
Sensing your growing frustration, Spencer broke the kiss.
“Come with me,” he said, pulling his hands away from your wet cunt and out of your stupid pants and encouraging your hips up until you were stood and he was stood behind you.
Cock still firmly stood against your ass, he walked you all the way to his bedroom, hands on your hips the entire time, memorising the sway of your walk.
“Strip and get on the bed, please, Y/N,” he said, finally peeling himself away from you as you nodded quickly and listened to him immediately. You weren't sure what to expect, so you hesitated, laying down, crawling up until your head hit the pillows. You were almost disappointed when you finally looked back at Spencer and he was still fully clothed, so sure that he was going to fuck you to your climax.
Instead, he approached the bed, gently slid his arms around your thighs, opened your legs wider, knelt on the floor and brought your cunt to his face.
The first touch of his to guess to your clit had you almost beside yourself with lust. You'd been sexually active for a handful of years, and this - THIS - was the first time you'd experienced such acute pleasure.
Your hips were unable to stop, thrusting up into his face as you willed his tongue to engulf you, to be a tool in your pleasure.
Again your phone rang, but he grabbed it quickly, pausing only a second to silence it and discard it on the bed beside you, sitting it further up the bed where it would no longer be a distraction to him.
He dove right back in, and you rewarded him with wave after wave of fierce moan, your writhing body only restricted by a hand snaked up onto his stomach. You still pushed against his face, practically fucking it as he flattened out his to guess and let you chase your high.
“Spencer!” You gasped and moaned, voice dripping with lust and desperation, mouth not even properly forming words now you were so close.
You propped yourself up slightly, looking down as Spencer's eye caught your own, his chin slick with your juices, his eyes dripping with lust. You grabbed a handful of his hair and jumped that little bit faster as you felt that long forgotten whisper of pleasure, that all-encompassing explosion of satisfaction, and you came apart on Spencer's tongue.
“Thank you, thank you, Spencer, shit, thank you,” you whimpered, falling back again into the bed as you rode out the high. When you managed to open your bleary eyes again, Spencer was propped up above you, but instead of paying you attention, he'd grabbed your phone and bought it to his ear.
“You heard that? Good. I'm sure you're aware now that she won't be returning your calls tonight. Goodbye.”
His voice, his words, were like a cold bucket of water to your brain as you sat up, reaching for him and finding him as his hips circled your waist.
“Was that-?” He cut you off with a kiss a sweet, soft one.
“Yes.” He kissed you again and you melted into his touch as he pulled you into his lap again.
“H-He-”
“He knows now what a real orgasm sounds like. He knows you're not interested anymore. He knows you're mine now.”
You shivered at the words, your lust addled brain flooding your senses, and your cunt as you reacted to the possessiveness of his words, his tone. Part of you was turned on by the exhibitionism as well. You'd had to walk in on your ex boyfriend completely exposed, and there was satisfaction in kicking him to the curb with a similar fuck you. A fuck you that you'd enjoyed a lot.
You pressed your lips against Spencer's and rocked your hips against him again, tasting yourself on his tongue as he laid you down once more. His cock twitched against your leg as he propped you up on the pillows, and your hands trailed down to show it some attention as your sighed into his kiss.
He eagerly shed his clothes, first his top, sitting up and pulling it over his head, giving you a deliriously enticing shot of his chest and soft stomach before dropping down to cover your body again. You let your hand find the sprinkling of hair on his lower stomach, though, following it down as you encouraged his pants off. His cock was thick and heavy in your hand, and you gladly stroked it as he kissed the plains of your body again. He found the side of your neck that he'd neglected earlier, licking and sucking until it was almost as loved as the first side, before pulling your hand away from his cock.
You pouted and began to protest when he quickly lined his cock up with your cunt, and slid in deep and soft before you could.
“Needed to be in you,” he whispered in your ear, gripping your hips and sliding your legs up and around him as he pushed that little bit deeper. “Keep them nice and wide for me,” he said, dropping one last kiss to your lips, before his chest rose, and his hips pulled away again.
When they snapped back into you, you let out a generous scream of pleasure that almost had you wishing you'd never hung up. He set a quick pace, a furious pace as he too moaned into the contact of your cunt and his cock, two desperate people searching for release.
“So tight, Y/N, you're so tight,” he moaned, flesh hitting flesh as you dug your nails into his arms, already so wet again, you could feel the sheets under you growing damp. His hand left its perch on your hip and found its way to your clit once again, and you knew that you weren't going to be able to keep to this pace without cumming a second time.
“Keep moaning for me baby, show me how much you want it,” his voice begged, almost a rumble with how lustful he sounded. You let your voice carry, each moan a little bit more unrestricted than the last.
“Louder, Y/N, please. I want to hear how much you're enjoying this, you don't know how much I enjoy hearing your pleasure.”
His prayers were answered when he lowered his head back down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, gently grazing it with his teeth between licks and sucks. You practically screamed his name, pressing your chest up to grant him better access.
You liquefied beneath him, pressure building and building until you felt him rock, lifting his chest as you came. He pulled his cock out, teasing it through your folds as you stuttered around him, your arousal squirting across his cock and sheets as you fell back to the bed, gasping in pleasure. Your hips stuttered against him, and he soothed you gently, still working his cock through your folds gently as your clit went from overwhelmed to calm to quickly overstimulated.
“Spencer,” you whimpered, almost unable to take all the pleasure he was offering you. “Spencer, it-it hurts.”
“Don't you want me to stop?” He asked, stopping his movements for a second as you deliberated your answer. The lack of movement was answer alone, and you shook your head no wanting to feel his cock against you, inside you, one more time.
“Louder, Y/N, tell me what you want.”
“I want to keep going,” you said, as he began slowly rocking his cock against you again, sticky from your cum.
“What do you want me to do?” He asked, teasing a nipple with his hand as your eyes fluttered shut.
“Please fill me up again, please I want to cum again.”
“One more time?” He asked.
“Mhmmm… one more… one more, please.”
You were cum drunk, so horny that you couldn't fathom stopping there. He pressed another kiss to your lips and encouraged you to flip over, propping a pillow under your stomach as he pulled your legs into the right position.
You snuggled into the pillows at your head, pushing your ass up for him slightly as he nudged his cock against your entrance once more.
“Where should I cum Y/N?” He asked, reaching under you to slowly circle your clit again.
“H-hmmm…” you said, eyes shut, focused more on the pleasure than the question. You didn't care anymore. You didn't care where he came, just as long as he let you do it, too.
“Y/N, I expect an answer. Where should I put my cum?”
“Anywhere,” you pouted, pressing your hips back into his cock in the hopes that he'd just fuck you again already.
“That's not an answer,” he said, gently slapping your ass as he pulled his cock away.
“On your back?” He asked, fingers still working your clit underneath, but trailing lower until they found your cunt, two entering you to keep you wet and stretched for him.
“You'd need to shower before you could pass out, but I'm happy to help clean you off. They have communal showers in prison, so I'm not shy.” You moaned at the suggestion but couldn't answer further.
“On your stomach? Again we'd have to shower off, but I would love to see your boobs decorated all nicely.” Your moans were whimpers now as he edged you with his fingers, his words gentle in your ear but dripping with so much lust and promise you couldn't stand it. You didn't want to make decisions anymore.
“On your face?”
“Not on my face,” you snapped quickly, and he nodded and stroked your hair, hooking a strand behind your ear as he agreed.
“Okay. Where, Y/N? Be a good girl and tell me.”
“I-Inside. Cum inside me. Please.”
“Of course. Good job.”
He pulled his hand free gently, and quickly replaced it with his thick cock, and you moaned again at the weight of it against your walls, the familiar stretch of it. In this position, he reached deeper somehow, his thrusts slower, more precise as he drew out his own orgasm as long as possible, maximising his ability to pleasure you.
“Good girl,” he muttered against your skin, dropping a kiss to your back. “Good girl.”
“Wanted to do this for so long, Y/N,” he confessed with each thrust. “Look at how pretty this pussy is, how wet it is for me. I wish your boyfriend could see it. I wish he could see how well-behaved you are for me. How nicely you take my cock.”
His deep, slow strokes, his words, the kisses he pressed against any inch of your skin he could reach combined to push you over the edge a third and final time. This one wasn't loud. It wasn't dramatic. It was a steady shudder of pleasure from your hips and a quiet, satisfied sigh.
You didn't say anything but Spencer knew, he felt it, and he came moments after, cock deep inside as he filled you with his cum.
“You're on birth control, right?”
“IUD. Pill. Yeah.” You say between breathy sighs of contentment.
Muttering something behind you, he pulled out finally, leaving for a minute to grab a washcloth and clean himself off before returning to help you as well.
“What did you mumble?” You asked, as he crawled back into your arms, looking up at him.
“What?” He asked, ears turning slightly pink as you stared at him intently.
“Just now. I told you I was on birth control, and you mumbled something.”
He looked away, refusing to meet your gaze before dropping to kiss you sweetly once again.
“Tell me,” you said, and he kissed you again.
“Spencer, tell me,” you pouted, and he kissed the pout away.
You almost asked again, but he kissed you too quickly, too deeply and you lost your breath again.
“I said,” he started, leaving you panting under him again. “It was good you're on birth control, because I like the sight of my cum dripping out of you.”
The remaining breath left your body as you gasped, your face growing hot. You burrowed your face in his chest and let him hold you as you drifted into sleep, wrapped up in each other.
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