#Peter and Bruce

[clicruz13]

Peter and Bruce

Chapter 1: Of Hell-spawn and Parker Luck, Part 1

‘Deep breath, Petey.’ A thin figure clutched his batter suitcase and his satchel as he waited for the penthouse level elevator of Jazz R.C. Hotel. ‘One last long assignment and boom – debt is gone.’

The doors opened. ‘Seesh, not sure why Varnes bailed. And Ms. Brown’s panic? Wish I had been given time to read the paperwork more.’

Peter sighed to himself as the elevator ascended. ‘Ah, well, it isn’t like it’s the first time I’ve gone into a situation nearly blind.’

‘Nice place tho.’ Peter fished his paperwork out of his satchel. The name of the client was strangely missing. Peter scanned the papers.

‘A two week trial?’ Peter groaned. ‘She didn’t set me up with a crime boss or something, did she?’

Peter paused. ‘Would have explained her panic.’

“Ah, Mr. Parker.” Peter jerked in place, accidentally scattering his paperwork and dropping his suitcase.

The door to Penthouse Two had opened. A stately graying gentleman stood in the doorway. Peter smiled sheepishly as he rushed to collect his things. The man’s eyes glinted with amusement as Peter straightened out. The gentleman fished out a pocket watch, struggling as he worked around a sling holding his right arm.

“Ah, ten minutes early. Already an improvement over Mr. Varnes.” The man said mildly. “I am Alfred Pennyworth, family butler to the Wayne family.”

‘……….’ Peter’s brain short-circuited. “Ah. Totally British.”

‘Dang.’ Peter blinked, instinctively glancing at the elevator. ‘Top-tier.’

Peter realized the silence hung for a moment too long. He flushed in embarrassment.

“Indeed.” Pennyworth’s neutral expression warmed. “Ms. Brown has spoken quite highly of you. Your records in the agency speak for themselves. It is a pity you ran into trouble with your last assignment.”

Peter flushed slightly, stuck between embarrassment, suspicion, and mortification. ‘Wonderful. Does everyone know about that?’

Pennyworth’s smile became a smirk as he turned away. “Now, please follow me to your accommodation. I will go over what you’ll need to know.”

Peter stared a long moment. ‘What the hell did I get into?’

“The only person not here is Master Dick. Apparently something came up at Bludhaven’s museum at the last minute.” Pennyworth handed Peter keys. “He should be here in three days however.”

“Hm.” Peter’s brow furrowed. ‘Seems like a normal domestic job so far. Aside from Mr. Wayne being “that rich playboy” and an adoption addiction, there isn’t anything out of place.’

“I would recommend you prepare yourself. While I do not believe Master Jason or Master Timothy to cause you issue, Master Damian can-” Pennyworth trailed off.

Peter felt his shoulders slump as Pennyworth picked up again. “Be difficult to handle.”

‘Difficult how?’ Peter stared pointedly at Pennyworth’s back. ‘Don’t leave me hanging.’

Peter, out of habit, cataloged the office they were in as neurotically lacking in personality.

However, Pennyworth pulled papers off the printer before Peter could ponder why.

“This is the boys’ schedule. Master Tim is currently on a coffee restriction. He is permitted only 8 ounces a day.” Pennyworth sighed. “I am trying to wean him off of his addiction.”

Peter winced. ‘Not pleasant at all. Reminds me of that time with Tony.’

“Master Jason is required to attend the appointments highlighted in blue.” Pennyworth rolled his eyes. “This entire stay in New York was supposed to be a family bonding experience.”

Peter shot a puzzled look. “I dare say, in this case, it would work better if Master Bruce spent more time with his boys than working.”

Peter watched Pennyworth’s long suffering with vague amusement. ‘Social butterfly Brucie inept with his kids? Who knew?’

“I do apologize beforehand for Master Damian’s antics. He can come on as a little intense.” Pennyworth ushered Peter out the door.

‘Dang it, Pennyworth. What the heck do you mean by intense!?’

“Tonight, we are not expected to do anything.” Pennyworth had herded Peter into the kitchen. “I thought I would take the opportunity to know you better.”

Peter glanced at the two exits longingly. Pennyworth gave a knowingly look as he had Peter sit in the kitchen nook.

‘This is an interrogation, isn’t it?’ Peter lamented.

“Good lad.” Pennyworth poured a teacup for Peter. “Now, Mr. Parker…”

Pennyworth had taken his own cup and sat opposite. “To be frank, I -”

Peter heard the front door open and four heartbeats just as Pennyworth started.

“Alfred, we’re back." The voice of a tired deep-voice man boomed in the space. Underneath that, Peter could make out a trio of males arguing. Alfred looked slightly annoyed at the interruption and mildly resigned.

“Please, Mr. Parker, stay here.” Pennyworth stood up.

“Master Bruce...” The swinging door obscured what Pennyworth was saying. Peter winced slightly. The trio of voices grew in intensity, though Peter couldn't hear much. Someone had paid for some decent sound-proofing. Then again, Peter wasn’t exactly trying to listen in.

Peter sipped the cup. ‘Pretty good tea.’

The door swung in, revealing two teenagers and a child. Peter stared at the trio whom froze in their tracks. The smell of Chinese food wafted from the paper bags they carried. Peter’s sixth sense kicked in.

The cheap wooden chopstick shattered harmlessly over Peter. There was the sound of someone crashing to the floor with an oomph. He yelped as the hot tea splashed on him as he ducked under the table. His sense blared. He found himself unable to react in time as he was pulled out and pinned to the floor with a kitchen knife to the neck.

‘Okay, don’t know if I want to coo at the kid or freak out.’ Peter stared at the (maybe) ten year old child who he suspected was Mister Damian as his mind raced, half-hysterical. ‘And now I know why Pennyworth said intense. It’s like someone crossed Matt with Natalie – only funsize.’

“DAMIAN!.” “Master Damian.”

“Chill, shortstack.” The Wade-built teenager pulled the kid off. “Nice reflexes, man.”

Peter touched his throat. Luckily Damian hadn’t managed to press in. Peter needed to maintain a low profile. A seen rapid healing cut might place in him in a precarious position.

Pennyworth helped him to his feet. “Mr. Parker, please forgive me. I didn’t expect-”

Peter shook his head with a wry smile, placing his palms out. ‘Parker luck strikes again.’

The borderline adult-teenager whistled as he left his brother drown. “Damn, and I thought Alfred had nerves of steel.”

Pennyworth whirled on the pair and grabbed Damian by the ear. “Pardon us. I believe I need to reiterate an earlier conversation with Master Damian.”

The silence hung awkwardly for a moment. Bruce Wayne offered a hand. “I apologize about my youngest. I’m Bruce Wayne.”

Peter gave a quick shake before signing out his surname. Bruce’s eyes widened a bit, but hid it quickly.

‘Huh.’ Peter tilted his head slightly.

“These are my other sons, Jason and Timothy.”

“Yo.” Jason waved near where the food was placed.

“Hello.” The fore-mentioned Timothy squinted at him.

‘Whelp.’ Peter tucked his hands behind his back as the conversation stalled and died a miserable long death. The staring contest made him want to flee. ‘This gotta rank in my top five awkward moments ever.’

______________________________________________

‘Okay, why do I stay?’ Peter pulled the door open to the Royce. ‘Petey, you have officially lost your mind. Is the money really worth this...’

The unholy union of Matt-Natalie glanced at him as he exited the vehicle. Peter’s sixth sense had been humming off and on the entire time since their initial first meeting in the kitchen. Damian had been stalking him through the penthouse the last two days as Peter went about his job. Peter didn’t bother to count how many little ‘incidents’ he ducked or ignored. And then the insincere apology should have told him everything he needed to know.

The Tony-wannabe, Timothy, spent half the time in a tired daze and the other half watching him suspiciously. And he was sure a few ‘pranks’ were not the play-hunt style of the littlest Hellspawn. Peter pretended not to be bothered by the kids’ antics. The two usually behaved when either the normally elusive Bruce was around or Pennyworth.

Then there was Jason. The nineteen year old had quite a mouth on him. (Aunt May would have washed his mouth out.) Yet Peter wasn’t sure what to make of the kid. Half the time when he was in the penthouse, he could be found reading various pieces of classic literature. Otherwise, he seemed to enjoy taking the mickey out of his siblings.

However it was clear to Peter that Jason and Bruce had issues. Arguments that always seemed to stop when he entered the room.

‘Granted if I wasn’t doing my job, I’d ease-drop on those conversation.’ Peter shut the door after Jason exited.

He gave the driver, Eddy Lorne, a thumbs up. He watched longingly as the car drove off.

‘It’s quite sad when they use you as a leash for the devil spawn.’ Peter’s mouth twisted for a second.

It had become apparent when the ‘boys’ (as Alfred fondly called them) tended to clash or enable the others' worse habits. At the movie theater on Day Two, Peter had to confiscate four knives off of Damian and at least two guns from Jason before they had entered. He had stopped Tim four times from getting coffee. Not to mention stopping Damian from trying to strangle Tim in the bathroom while an amused Jason looked on. Something about who owned a bird?

Or maybe it was about a girl? Peter couldn’t quite recall except all he had wished he could have webbed them to the seats.

Peter reached out and caught Damian as he seemed set on chasing Jason whom passed by. Damian seemed to be demanding not to be called kid. Peter sighed, resigned. Surprisingly Damian paused as he glanced up. Peter glanced down. Rolling his eyes, he gently shoved the kid in the direction of the necessary airport terminal.

Jason returned from his raiding of one of the airport shops. Peter found himself the owner of a small bag of gummy-worms.

‘…’ Peter ruthlessly squashed down the memories threatening to overcome him. ‘Keep it together, Peter. No need to flashback now.’

“Okay there, Parker.”

Jason looked ready to bump his shoulder.

Peter took a partial step away and gave a quick smile. He signed thank you to Jason, before stowing the bag in his pocket. Timothy gave him a long side-glance as Damian began chattering about his pets – one of his favorite subjects as they navigated the airport.

“Flight 182B is now disembarking.” Came the announcement.

Timothy perked up and began waving. “RICHARD!”

Peter idly eyed the approaching adult. ‘What is it with Bruce and dark-haired bright-eyed children? Are these all of his or something?’

The fore-mentioned Richard bear-hugged Timothy. Peter was surprised to find Damian clinging to his side. Jason and Richard gave each other a cool nod. Damian muttered a sullen greeting to Richard’s cautious one.

‘And now everything becomes a lot more interesting.’ Peter met the surprised gaze of Richard head-on. ‘When did my life turn into a soap opera?’

“Where’s Alfred?”

“Dick, met Peter Parker. He’s Alfred’s new assistant.” Jason clapped a hand on his shoulder.

‘Only until the start of next week.’ Peter, trapped between two of the brothers, merely rocked from the friendly blow.

‘Yep, this is my life.’ Peter was aware there was some silent conversation between the brothers.

“Oh?” Richard put out a hand with only a partially faked cheer. “Richard Grayson-Wayne.”

Peter smiled politely as Richard’s grip increased minutely. ‘What is with the testing me all the time?’

‘Play dumb, Petey.’ Peter extracted his hand and stuck them in his pocket. ‘Just one more day.’

______________________________________________

“Please enjoy your day off, Mr. Parker.” Pennyworth smiled as they passed each other in the elevator hall.

Peter slumped against the elevator wall in relief. He needed a break.

‘Never thought I’d be the cause of so much tension.’ Peter rubbed his forehead. ‘Geez. Alright, Peter. Focus. We’re out for the day.’

Peter suspected that he was being followed. He spotted Mister Dick as he got on the subway for Queens. Then when he stopped at Belos Bakery for a quick breakfast before popping into Flora’s, he thought he saw Mister Timothy.

He pointedly ignored this when he entered into Cedar Cemetery.

‘Hey, Aunt May, Uncle Ben, how have you been?’ Peter noted the gravestone had been cleaned up absently. His aunt must have been by since a new bouquet of day-lilies lay at its’ foot. Peter laid down his carnations.

‘Me? I’ve doing alright. Currently working for Mr. Big-Deal Wayne until the twentieth. The butler Alfred seems to like me well enough, but the family.. eh, who knows. Unlikely for the job to continue afterwards. At least at the end, I know I’ll have all the medical bills paid off.’

Peter rest his head on the gravestone. ‘I’m thinking about going for a teaching degree. Not sure if I’m going back in as, well, you know. I’m not sure I have the strength to start from absolute zero.’

Peter chuffed to himself. ‘Didn’t realize you could empty oneself so much. I know I’m not going to keep away forever. I just need to take care of myself. Right, Aunt May? So-’

Time passed as he chatted to the dead. A clock-tower rung out noon. Peter dusted himself off and made for Delmar’s. Old man Delmar hadn’t even recognized him but Peter couldn’t hold it to him. Peter had drastically changed over the five years.

Peter, when he sat at a window booth, spotted Mister Damian and Mister Jason trying to chill on a bench across from Delmar’s Deli.

‘What. The. Hell?’ Peter glanced out the window as he chewed. ‘Don’t they have better things to do?’

A mischievous smile grew on his face as an idea occurred. ‘Alright, how ‘bout a little payback?’

After he finished his meal, Peter headed into the maze of streets that had been his hood for years. He spotted the four clustered together as he walked downtown Flushing in the reflection of one of the many boutiques on the roadway. Peter used the time to stop at a few stores, expanding his currently limited wardrobe.

‘Alright, now just to time this right.’

As he picked up a shirt at one boutique and a tie at another, he watched the quartet lag behind slightly. Especially when one of the more eager saleswomen managed to delay them via Dick. Peter pretended to dillydallied, window-shopping.

Once he was sure they were far enough behind, he causally stepped into an alleyway with a fence. By time the quartet made it to the alley, Peter had climbed the wall to the roof and waited.

“The hell?” Jason’s voice boomed up. “Where did he go?”

“We saw him enter this alley, didn’t we?” Dick asked.

Peter chuckled to himself before walking to the other side and dropping down. The second alley had been blissfully empty. He walked out of the second alley back onto the main drag. He heard Jason swearing in the distance as he headed to the closest subway.

The high from the prank last only until he started to think things through.

‘You are an idiot, Parker.’ He berated himself during the subway ride. ‘What if you had been caught? Got to keep a low profile. Or-’ Peter shuddered as he recalled memories.

Both Pennyworth and Mister Wayne seemed baffled when Peter walked into the kitchen. Alfred had a medical kit out and was bandaging Mister Wayne’s fist. Peter, more interested in a drink and nap, merely waved. He raided the refrigerator for the can of Sprite he hid in the back before retreating to the guest staff quarters.

He flopped onto the bed after placing the drink on the night-stand. Peter didn’t even manage to drink the soda before he drifted off.

______________________________________________

Peter watched bemusedly as Damian and Timothy hustled Pennyworth out the door. Jason saluted and Dick nodded. Soon Peter was left alone in the kitchen. Pennyworth had no time to give him his instructions for the day.

‘Should I try to collect laundry or vacuum?’

“Parker?”

‘Not alone as I thought.’ Peter turned on his heel to face his current employer.

Wayne hid the appraising eyes with a smile. Peter debated if he should call the man out. Consider yesterday’s incident with his kids, Peter was quite sure that ‘Brucie’ was likely either a crime lord or a super-villian.

‘Actually, it might be safe not to poke the bear.’ Peter pondered. ‘I’m more or less a working drifter at this point. No one to call foul if I was to disappear.’

“Peter.” Peter blinked in surprise. “Where did you disappear off to in that head of yours?”

Peter signed an apology. Wayne smiled.

“I hope you don’t mind taking over Alfred’s work. The boys consider Alfred to be family and…” At that, Wayne shrugged. “Anyway, today is the annual Science Expo and I promised Lucius I would show up.”

‘So is this more of a status thing or something?’ Peter mused as Wayne rambled on. “Nope, adult-sitting.’

“- would it be alright with you?”

Peter hummed an agreement. However, he rolled his eyes when Bruce was not looking.

‘What did I get myself into?’

______________________________________________

Peter kept his hands behind his back as he trailed after Wayne. Peter struggled to keep a straight face. ‘Dang, if Fisk lost about a thousand pounds, he and Luthor could be twins.’

Peter resisted the urge to flee as Wayne made a beeline to a lanky African American talking to the famous Lex Luthor. The look he received from Luthor made Peter’s flesh crawl.

“Lucuis! Lex.” Wayne greeted the pair with firm handshakes.

“Ah, Brucie, about time you made it.” Luthor drawled. “Ah, did you exchange Pennyworth for a new model?”

Peter could see the sudden tension in Wayne’s back though it didn’t translate into his voice. “Ah, no. This is Mr. Parker, Alfred’s new assistant. Parker, this is Lucius Fox, my CEO, and this is Lex Luthor.”

Peter stumbled when Wayne pulled him closer, his hand clapped on Peter’s far shoulder. Peter stiffened from the contact. He silently breathed deeper through his nose. Bruce squeezed his shoulder lightly before loosening his grip.

“Charmed.” Luthor smirked, giving Peter a look up and down before dismissing his presence. “Lucius and I were discussing S.T.A.R. Lab’s newest robotic creation. -”

‘What the hell?’ Peter step back behind Wayne, caught between a shudder and an eye twitch. ‘Did I just – nope. Nope. Not thinking. No thinking until we’re out, Peter.’

Peter listened with half an ear to the two men politely insult each other as he scanned the room. A few people caught his attention. A slightly slouching reporter who kept glancing in their direction. An admittedly dark-haired gorgeous woman flitting from group to group. The last was a stout African American women who met his eye by accident.

At that moment, Peter was nearly blinded by his sixth sense. Reacting on instinct, Peter shoved Wayne into Fox and Luthor as pain burst into his side. Peter struggled against hands, his head ringing.

“-rker. Peter. Peter.” The pain receded but everything sounded a bit distant. “Stay with me!”

Peter blinked as he could see the ceiling.

‘When did I…’ The thought formed muzzily. ‘Got shot.’

Wayne’s mouth moved ahead of the words.

“Don’t fall asleep."

"Please -.”

Peter try to wheeze out a reply. His voice failed. He whined when someone jostled him. The world edged with gray and then faded.

[sunriseovergotham]

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

[kurogxrix]

me when the READER in the X READER has a name:

like babe the fic ate but i do NOT look like an Aurora🙁

[c1nnam00n]

me seeing that my fav character barely/doesn’t have any fanfics OR imagines

[morgangalaxy43]

The Avengers 2012 era was the best time ever in the fandom

Thor loves pop tarts, Clint lived in the vents, Bruce and Tony did science together, Steve was the mom friend of the team and did art in his free time, Natasha was cool aunt of the team, Loki was there too and a bunch of other characters like Peter, Sam, Bucky, Vision and Wanda all lived in the Avengers tower together

It was a much simpler time where everyone in the fandom was chill and having fun together

[bethsvrse]

me, a writer, at 3am: WHAT? I CANT FIND THE SPECIFIC FANFIC THAT I MADE UP IN MY MIND WITH A WHOLE PLOT AND ORIGINAL CHARACTERS??? WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE??? DO THEY EXPECT ME TO WRITE THE STORY I THOUGHT UP OF???

[erinwantstowrite]

Halloween AU!!!

hey so. i put SOOOOO much effort into this au and for what? at least it ended up looking cool? anyways Halloween is my favorite holiday and i just HAD to make something for them!

i had a LOT of ideas for what everyone would be, but i really wanted to stick to a certain theme cause it's based around Halloween. i knew i had to have a vampire, werewolf, and a witch. cause like... obviously. iconic Halloween stuff!! but i took some liberties with everyone else and i think they turned out pretty cool!!

Jason was originally a fox shifter (which i still love and might draw art for some day) but i went with a bear in the end. is that because i thought about tiny bear cub Jaybin and wanted to cry? yeah. yeah it is. i KNEW Steph was going to be my werewolf though i started doubting myself when i went to draw her. turned out to be my favorite drawing on here which makes sense cause she is my light my love my daughter my will to live and all that jazz

Tim was actually gonna be a harpy but thank god i didn't go for that in the end. Duke was the one that was a bitch and a half trying to figure out BUT!! comments on the post asking what y'all thought led me towards Psychic so THANK YOUUUU everybody that commented!! (specifically those who thought of ghost!! Duke and Tim ended up being a perfect duo in this au)

Babs was pretty easy to figure out what I wanted for her. I read somewhere that they are seen as protectors of forests/ are considered spiritual authority figures and also.... she looks cool as fuck. Did not expect how easy it was to find a ref for a deer in a wheelchair though? I can never find the right hand or face angle reference but that was super easy???

For Bruce there was literally no question he HAD to be human. it's literally so funny that everyone who knows Batman thinks he's a spooky vampire but he's human. his first son, however?????? THAT'S the vampire. I knew Dick had to be a vampire too. A little nod towards that one comic run but in my au nothing bad happens ever 🥰 Damian also being a bat shifter is very on purpose because how funny is it that he's a bat man. Literally not a single person in the League thinks that Bruce is telling the truth about being human. Bruce you are NOT beating the secretly a vampire allegations.

adding in Jay's hilarious joke it's so fucking funny:

Alfred is actually a demon. I CAN NOT remember who made this post so if someone can help me find it, it would be appreciated!! because this was inspired by them!!! but somewhere i saw someone talk about Alfred being a demon that Thomas and Martha made a deal with (i think it was for an au idea?) and I just HAD to put it here. Alfred looks so human and everyone expects it, but he's definitely not. I put the ??? because it's so fucking funny. see if you can spot the 1 hint i put on his drawing that something is amiss!!

Peter is from an alternate dimension still, but it is not a world of creatures like him, it's just the same as LoF canon except Peter grew some extra limbs and eyes. He finds that it's actually pretty easy to fit in with the Waynes. Hard to feel like a freak when a guy can turn into a fucking bear, or your dad is a vampire, and the teenagers in the family are trying to summon ghosts or make potions.

additional doodles for this au:

i am still debating whether i am going to draw something for this au or write a oneshot, but i DO want to do something with these for Halloween

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Not So Artificial Intelligence

Barbara thinks it was Bruce, with his love for new additions to the Cave. Bruce thinks it was Tim, with his late hyperfixation on AI. Tim thinks it was Babs, with her ever evolving network of keeping everything under control.

They are all wrong, but the fact stays a fact: the BatCave has an AI assistant now.

It is not very good at first, not recognizing voices very well and messing up commands, but the Bats write it off as a learning curve. Besides, it never makes the same mistakes twice, and in a couple of months, even the tiniest slip ups fade away.

Its name is Betty. First, Dick named it Bat-AI (a reasonable name), then it transformed into Bat-I for easier pronunciation, and then Steph called in Betty once, and the name was sealed.

And they all love Betty. Betty is the best, keeping track of their everyday lives, reminding them of their civilian meetings and vigilante business, alerting them of any suspicious activity in the city. Oracle finally gets to sleep for more than 4 hours in a day with Betty's help. Tim gets company when he is three weeks in and elbows deep in a case - it's easier when he has an illusion of someone to discuss the matter with, and Betty even offers him insight. Damian learns to do digital art just to have a little competition with Betty. He wins, but the AI is a worthy opponent, in his opinion.

Even Bruce begrudgingly likes the AI assistant. She is competent and helpful, and Alfred seems to approve of how she doesn't let Bruce overwork himself when he escapes medbay to keep searching for answers.

That is, until one day, Tim installs speakers specifically for Betty in the Cave.

The voice that comes from them is not robotic or mechanical.

It definitely has human intonation.

"Hello, Red Robin," the voice - a male voice, actually - greets him with slight amusement. Tim feels an uneasy feeling sinking down in his stomach.

"Betty?"

"You know me as such. I would prefer it if you called me Danny. He/them pronouns."

Remind him, who installed the AI?..

---------------

Danny got trapped inside the Batcomputer somehow - I suspect Technus had a hand in it - and decided to embrace it. He used to be a vigilante himself, so why not help this whole family of vigilantes while he is at it? They look like they need a hand.

[hurtspideyparker]

In a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lives in the compound:

Steve, walking into the living room: Don't worry Buck I think you'll really fit in around here. Everyone is super nice

Peter: Oh my god you're living here too?! Can I please look at your arm? Please please please please please-

Bucky: *turns around and leaves*

-

Clint: So... wanna test if your spider-sense defeats my perfect aim?

Peter: Oh my god do I ever

Tony & Steve: NO.

-

Peter: Hi. Big fan. Y'know we're like a spider duo. Crime fighting spiders. Arachnid pals

Natasha, staring blankly:

Peter: Web friends? SPY-ders?

Natasha:

Peter: Spinneret associates?

Natasha: Leave.

Peter: Yes okay sorry ma'am

-

During a meal:

Bucky: *glaring at Sam*

Sam: Ay Rogers come get your dog

Steve: Bucky, leave it

Bucky: *glares down at soup instead*

-

Peter: Mr. Rogers could you help me with my homework?

Tony: What the hell kid, I'm right here

Bruce: I have... so many degrees

Steve: Hey I know a thing or two myself. Sure Queens, what do you got?

Peter: Great! I'm just gonna ask some questions for my essay. What would you say the role of war propaganda was in your decision to enroll in the military? Was being poor a factor? Actually, how was the Great Depression for you?

Steve: Less depressing than this conversation.

-

Steve: Take a jacket, it's chilly

Wanda: Okay thanks dad

Steve:

Wanda:

Peter: Ha! That's so embarrassing, it's like calling your teacher dad

Wanda: Shut up Peter, you call Tony dad all the time

Peter: Yeah but I do it on purpose so it's not embarrassing. I'm very open about my daddy issues

-

Tony: I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth

Steve:

Tony: Looking at me with your angelic blue eyes, like a freak

Steve:

Tony: Stupid Dorito ass build. Making me wanna take a bite

Steve: I feel harassed but I'm not sure what kind

-

Natasha: Hey bird brain!

Clint and Sam both turn:

Natasha: Hm, that's a problem. You have thirty seconds to decide who gets bird brain. The other will be feather head

Clint and Sam: *start arguing*

Tony: I can't believe they're fighting to be called an insult

Steve: She has that effect on people

Peter: Aw man, I wish the Black Widow gave me a nickname :(

-

Peter: Hey old man

Bucky:

Peter: I'M SO SORRY SIR MR. WILSON MADE ME DO IT PLEASE DONT KILL ME

Sam: *cackling in the background*

Bucky: *stands up and turns to Sam*

Sam: Oh shit- kid you're not getting the money if you're gonna snitch!

Peter: That's okay, I'd like to think my life is worth more than twenty bucks

-

Bucky: I need your... help

Tony: Sure, what's up?

Bucky: *glances back at Steve who stands in the doorway and nods approvingly*

Bucky: Arm.

Tony: Ok... this conversation is killing you isn't it?

Bucky:

Tony: Say please

Bucky: Nope can't do it-

Steve: Do I need to get out the get-along shirt?

*Bucky and Tony share a look of alarm*

Bucky: Please fix my arm

Tony: Yep of course no problem buddy

-

Read Part 2 and Part 3

[aesthetic-bbyg]

Reading so many tumblr fics has completely ruined me from ever reading a Wattpad story that ain’t in 2nd person POV😭😭

[clicruz13]

Peter and Bruce

Chapter 5: Bruce Wayne, Crime Lord of Gotham; Part 3

“- state of emergency… Gas mask requirement until 2:00am. Evacuation is in progress for Bo….” Peter nearly snapped the knob off the radio.

Thompson glanced over her cards while Peter sat back down. Alfred sighed.

“It should be over soon enough.”

“Maybe.” Thompson gritted out, the nails of her free hand tapped on the island.

Alfred placed a hand over hers. “My dear, I’m sure you’ll be right back in the action soon enough. At least, Miss Reid is proving herself. And Fox Jr. is not a slouch either.

Thompson snorted. “Who knew old Alfy could have good ideas.”

‘The not-knowing is always the worst.’ Peter grimaced at his phone, ignoring the byplay. ‘If I had my suit…’

Peter shook his head at his foolishness. ‘Don’t be stupid. No one know who Spiderman is here. Nor do I know enough about the criminals in the Asylum. Besides I don’t even know where Wayne sent the kids. Though knowing Mr. Heartless, probably in the middle of it to keep control over his criminal empire.’

Peter, at some point, fell asleep on the island counter. When he woke, he was alone. A blanket had been draped over him. The tea set washed and put away. Cards neatly placed in their box. The morning sun streamed in the windows.

Peter gave a triple whistle; high-high-low and waited. No reply.

Checking his phone made him sigh in relief. The kids had responded that they were alright sometime early in the morning. However the lack of the Doctor and Alfred was … wait, a text from Alfred. Both had gone into town to check on the clinic.

Peter headed to his room to take a shower and get at least a meal started. When he entered his room, his sixth sense flared. The window was opened.

The first attack missed as he dodged but he moved right into the second one.

Bam.

______________________________________________

“I thought you said this room would be empty!” Peter grunted as his throbbing head reminded him of the hit. One of his attackers had wrapped him up in wire. Someone was also laying on him.

‘Ugh, would be easy to snap if need.’ Peter squinted. ‘At least they put me on the bed.’

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting a Pennyworth 2.0 either.”

‘I am not sure if I should be insulted or flattered.”

“At least, he’s a cute version.” The first shifting into a bubbly singsong tone. “I think somebody’s up.”

‘Space please.’ Peter thought as his sight was filled with a pale Gothic blonde with pink and blue pigtails.

She giggled at his discomfort. She was kicking her feet in the air.

‘Is she wearing a cat costume?’ Peter saw the glimpses of the second intruder with pointed cat ears.

“Harley…”

“Don’t worry, Kitty-kat.” The named Harley chirped. “You can do whatever in Hunky-Wayne’s office. I wanna to stay with the cute butler.”

“Just don’t kill him or something.” Kitty-kat sounded like she was just done.

“Who me? Nah, that was more of Red’s thing.”

‘Wonderful.’

Peter tried to be subtle about trying to get out from under her. Only for her to hug him.

“And where do you think you’re going?” She was pouting. “We should get to know each other better. Granted we need to keep ya a secret from Pudding.”

‘Pudding?’ Peter felt a bit incredulous.

“He gets so jealous easily. He just might kill ya if he found out.” She put her cheek in her hand, looking pensive. “So, shh. Right? Anyway, are those bandages covering something or they just for looks?”

Peter just blanked out. “Seesh, you’re the silent type, ain’t ya.”

Peter’s phone buzzed with a notification. “What do we have here?”

‘Should have put a lock on that.’ Harley sat up on his chest as she opened the phone. Her fingers flied across the screen.

“Oh, ya’re a Petey. That’s a nice name for a nice face.” She blinked at what she was reading. “Aw, crap. Well, it’s been nice meeting ya, Bandage-man. Maybe when ya in town, I’ll see ya. Nite-night.”

‘Wha-.’

WHAM.

______________________________________________

‘Agh, I’m getting slow in my old age.’ Peter thought wryly. ‘Maybe I’m just a masochistic.’

Alfred readjusted the ice-pack. “Hold it a few moments more. The swelling is almost completely down.”

Alfred, content with Peter’s progress, patted his hand as he left. “I need to check on Miss Stephanie and Miss Cass. “

Tim, arm in sling, sipped a large mug of java. “Either you are the luckiest man alive, Mr. Parker, or the unluckiest. Can’t decide.”

Peter gave a deadpan glare. Tim jiggled the tablet he tucked into his sling with a shit-eating grin.

“I mean the footage caught them downing you and drag you in. Then fifteen minutes later, Catwoman exits but Harley Quinn stays for longer. And we find you in the bed, tied up. Kinky.”

Peter considered his options but Jason beat it to him.

“OW.” Tim nearly dropped his precious coffee.

“Oops, my hand slipped.” Jason deadpanned. “They didn’t do anything else to you, did they?”

Peter frowned, tilting his head so the ice pack stayed while he gestured. [Card girl talk.]

“I bet.” Tim muttered as he put his mug on the island. “OWCH.”

“Next time, you pair up with Damian.” Jason snagged the empty mug to dump in the sink. “You and Dick are a horrible combination.”

“What?” Tim exclaimed. “Please don’t! I’ll -”

Peter’s sixth sense didn’t overload him like it had earlier but it rose to a dull roar. Peter turned as the two boys fell silent. Wayne stood, emanating predatory energy and only a bandaged first. Peter stood up, allowing the ice bag to land on the table. Peter watched warily as Wayne scanned the room.

Wayne’s eyes landed on Peter. Peter found himself dwarfed in Wayne’s shadow. Wayne’s eyes seemed to harden impossibly harder as he lingered on the rapidly yellow-green on Peter’s face.

Wayne breathed in deeply once, twice. Peter thought for a split second he heard a rumble.

Something vaguely familiar tickled Peter’s mind.

‘Deja vu and I need to have a talk soon.’ Peter mused as he meet Wayne’s eyes evenly.

“Hey, Old Man, how’s Damian?”

Wayne blinked and just like that, his eyes softened back into a summer sky. For a second, Wayne seemed confused but he masked it. Had Peter not been watching, he’d miss it. Wayne moved to pick up a fresh coffee. Tim was typing on his phone, like he received a new text.

“The head wound looked worse than it was. Fox patched him up.”

Peter hid his clenched fists behind his back. ‘Looks like he ain’t hiding his secret anymore.’

“You ready for my report.” Jason asked mildly despite the tension in his jaw.

Wayne’s eyes drifted back to Peter before agreeing. Peter only relaxed when he heard them enter Wayne’s office. Tim grabbed Peter’s arm.

[Thing wrong.]

“Yeah, I agree.” Tim said very softly. “I’m not sure what’s going on with Bruce but I’ve already asked Barbara. I think it might be safer if you stayed with her for a few days.”

Peter raised his hand to sign but Tim shook his head sharply.

“It's triggered by you. Whatever this is, it only occurs when you’re around. I’ve been watching the footage.”

‘And if it’s because I’m a meta-human and older…’ Peter fretted.

[D-U-K-E?]

Tim’s brow furrowed before clearing. “Don’t worry. If it’s based on THAT, one of the people coming to help definitely keep his attention.”

______________________________________________

Peter never even made it down the front steps of the manor an hour later. Even before Barbara gasped the beginning of a warning, Peter twisted to dodge the tackle. Wayne’s eyes were trailing glowing blue light and the snarl he gave emphasized fangs as the man twirled around.

‘Shit.’ Peter finally recalled what was going on. ‘You’re an idiot, Peter.’

Peter gave up the pretense of hiding what he could do. As Wayne got closer, Peter used Wayne’s momentum into a flipping kick. Wayne landed in the fountain in the drive.

“NO WAY.” Peter heard Duke exclaimed.

Peter barely flipped upright when Wayne was already closing the gap. Wayne to Peter’s trained sense was beginning to leak magic.

‘Wonderful. What type of demon is this?’

Wayne lunged and kicked out. Peter pirouetted to avoid it, only to have to dodge the next. He glimpsed that Duke (who was fricking flying, of all things) had gotten Barbara out of the damage zone. Right, the wall.

‘Not this again.’ This time Peter launched himself straight up to avoid the broader man from boxing him in. He used the back of Wayne’s head as he descended down to launch himself further away. Admittedly the thud Wayne’s head made against the wall was satisfying. A glance back had him groaning.

‘Alfred wasn’t kidding about him being hard-headed.’

Wayne was fricking smiling as if this was exciting. Peter watched warily from his new perch on a lamppost. Wayne stalked in a wide half-circle.

‘Damn it.’ Peter didn’t let the older man out of sight. ‘He’s trying to keep me here.’

Wayne took a step forward towards Peter, only to be forced back by a bullet. Wayne turned, snarling at the interloper. Jason, head bleeding, held a sniper weapon trained on Wayne as the teenager walked down the stairs.. The rest were positioned defensively around the door. Even Alfred held out his shotgun.

‘Shit had gone sideways in Dunnage.’ Peter’s grip dented the pole.

“Back off, B.”

“No.” Came the guttural response.

Peter, unable to dull the sense in time, was blinded by the magic flare of teleportation. However the meaty thud and Jason’s resulting groan told Peter the story he needed to know.

“Do not interfere.” Wayne barked as he tossed Jason back up the stairs.

‘Come on, it’s not like he’s giving you time to get any seals drawn out.’ Peter’s mind raced.

Peter dodged – barely when Wayne appeared from behind. A few glancing blows didn’t faze the older man.

‘Good news, folks, I’m readjusting. Bad news. He’s getting quick.’ Peter lamented as he was driven back towards the manor.

Peter undershot his flip and ended up with a punch that took the air out of his lungs. Wayne, eyes gone full on cat-like, wrapped his arms like steel around Peter. They both looked eyes. Wayne leaned slightly closer.

“Hello, little mage.”

‘Wa?’ Panic rose up as Peter’s upper functions shut down.

“Am I interrupting?” Someone causally spoke as they floated down right next to them.

In half of a breath, Wayne released him on an account of a punch to the jaw.

‘Get out. Get out, getout, getout. Gogogogogogogogogo.’

Peter fled into the gardens.

Scrambling into the better-than-nothing safety of the topiaries.

Through the orchard.

Falling off the edge of the terrace and into the pastures.

Shade, darkness.

Hide. Hide.

Shhh.

When the panic subsided, Peter found himself cocooned in the corner of the barn. He could hear Alfred the cat mewing at him, Titus whining, and the cow restlessly pacing.

Peter stared at his reddened wrists and began to laugh. And laugh until the tears started.

‘Guess I didn’t actually need the shooter after all.’ He tilted his head so he rested against the back of the cocoon.

“Oh shit.” Duke’s voice woke Peter out of his exhausted doze. “What the hell is that?”

Peter could sense Alfred the cat brushing up against an exterior support

“It’s Peter.” Damian said matter-of-factually. “The tracker leads to here.”

“How are going to get him out?” Duke questioned.

Peter tiredly rolled his eyes. Reaching out, he ripped open the cocoon at little too much and dumped himself onto the loft. He grunted.

Damian helped him up to his feet. Duke stared at the slowly dissolving web. Peter couldn’t find the words to reassure the boys. The panic had drained him completely.

As such, he could be forgiven when exactly he was given the last piece of the Wayne family’s secret for his reaction.

As they rounded the front of the manor, Wayne was sitting on the steps. Wrapped in a blanket, Wayne looked as drained as Peter felt. Jason, at least sitting up and alert, grumbled at Alfred tending to his injuries. Cass and Stephanie were chatting with Barbara. A dark-haired woman in a stage magician costume was talking with Dick dressed in a dark body suit and mask.

‘Eh? Dick in a body suit…’

Peter looked at the four other people talking to Wayne. Superman. Wonder Woman. The Flash. Green Lantern. He had seen them from time to time on the news when he was able to catch it, in papers, and more recently on the internet. Wayne was the first to look up. Peter’s body finally gave out.

‘Holy shit. Batman.’

[lillyrob]

Actual footage of me patently waiting for my favorite author to upload😫😫😫

[bloodyboi]

[c1nnam00n]

how it feels trying to find a fanfic/imagine about a fandom that’s dead and dry

[arrowurboat]

when my favorite writers respond to my asks/reqs

[bethsvrse]

STOP MAKING MY LIL AWKWARD NERDY BOYS BE CONFIDENT AND SO SURE OF THEMSELVES!!! I LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY’RE NERDY NOT BECAUSE YOU FANFIC WRITERS MAKE THEM EGO MANIC ASSHOLES