#Personal Reflection

[thoughtsthatgounnoticed]

Swept up in Expectations

As an anxious and curious person, I couldn’t help but check every now and then to see what the vibe was for P2 before watching it myself. After all the excitement during the wait between P1 and 2, nothing could have prepared me for the whiplash I felt reading disappointed and equally ecstatic posts from reactions to Eps 5 to 8.

Now that I’ve seen the episodes myself I’m trying to make sense of how I felt so I’m putting the figurative pen to paper and hope anyone as confused as I am can ruminate with me.

To put simply - I think we were all swept up in the excitement of Nic and Luke’s press tour (a whole other can of worms for some) and the many spoilers, speculations, and info from cast interviews during the wait between P1 and 2 that appeared to have been Polin positive. This energy then ballooned our expectations. I personally forgot that although Bridgerton is endearing and fun, it’s ultimately not a BBC or HBO production (I love Bridgerton but it’s no Pulitzer Prize winner in writing). So I think we expected more and are crashing from our collective highs.

Then there’s Polin and Penelope. As someone who didn’t personally enjoy S1 and 2 stories, S3 was going to be one I could truly enjoy and romanticize, and experience that Bridgerton brainrot everyone keeps taking about. Admittedly, it took me listening to some discourse and a second watch to truly appreciate P1. I’ve come away with so much love for Polin and their unfolding love story as well as Pen’s journey. The friends to lovers trope is beautiful, sweet, endearing, romantic, with a lot of history between two people. It had me singing along at the top of my lungs to Taylor Swift in the car even though it’s not my usual type of music. I was swooned and romanced.

But Part 2 was…. rough…. (Ramblings below)

At least after episode 5. It felt like I wasn’t watching the same season. I knew the weight of LW was going to put Penelope through the wringer before we can ultimately move on in peace. I expected the angst, it didn’t bother me, even if it meant seeing the worst of Colin’s anger temporarily.

I think what bothers me is the wasted potential of Polin’s season brought on by unnecessary side plots that could have given more time to Colin, Penelope and Eloise’s complex relationship and individual feelings. It was a season that absolutely needed to flesh out these characters alongside LW’s plot. Instead we got lengthy scenes of side characters with no payoff or stories that could have waited to be told next season. Polin felt like side characters in their own stories, their scenes so cruelly cut between other people’s dramas - I was swooning one second to wondering why we’ve jumped to sideplot A and B, then back to swooning over Polin again (their wedding dance for example 😭).

Then there’s the question of intimacy and how we would have loved to see more - probably brought on by a rumored missing montage. Instead after all the pain, the culmination of intimacy between Polin was the 5 second scene towards the end that looked like one of Anthony or Ben’s random brothel end-of-episode montage scenes in S1. I didn’t need plenty of intimacy scenes, I just wanted there to be growth in their intimacy evolving beyond what they had in Ep 5 and after all that drama.

Part 2 should have focused on how Colin, Penelope and Eloise came to terms with the LW revelation and the aching healing process it took to overcome that because the love they have for one another was stronger. I found myself thinking how in hell they could resolve all of this and it became progressively clear that the resolution was going to feel underwhelming and rushed. Especially, when the last episode alone had another wedding, Colin and Penelope still not communicating, and like 4-5 scenes of Ben and his mistress and their lover. We sat there in complete shock at how we kept going back to those scenes when the season had bigger fish to fry.

Although the show attempted to delve into Colin’s journey post revelation, the process of overcoming his sadness/jealousy was not fleshed out satisfactorily. I’m not saying it isn’t there (the very quick scenes of him looking through Penelope’s letters, listening to her speech at the end, his speech to Cressida, interactions with Kanthony/Eloise etc) but it lacked…something. Maybe it needed just a beat longer, a few more words, a bit more time. I don’t need it to drag, I just needed more within the depth of the scenes. Funnily, some of the side plot scenes lasted longer, which was so evil. Colin deserved a concise arc like Penelope’s. I hope Luke Newton’s back wasn’t hurting from carrying all the weight of Colin’s journey through his delivery and face acting because the writers were not giving him much to work with.

And so, the ending of the season felt odd. On one hand I was happy Polin got their happy ending and in theory their progression made sense, but on the other I felt like the show did a disservice by not taking us carefully and deliberately on that progression journey we wonderfully started in S1 and 2. I will always have ep 1-5 to look back on fondly and I was teary eyed when Colin delivered his ep 8 love speech to Pen. It felt like a glimpse of what we could’ve had and what they did have in P1. However, there’s this feeling of anti-climax that is so palpable given how impactful the press tour was. Am I still walking away from this season loving Polin and enjoying the scenes we did get of them? YES. Am I satisfied with it? NO.

This is 70% an emotional rant that may subside once the excitement dies down. I have thoroughly enjoyed everyone’s input and analysis and may have just been swept up in expectations.

[bg3-faces-of-the-forgotten]

Last week, Larian released the final patch of BG3, and with it, they closed the chapter on something that meant a lot to so many of us.

This comic started as a way to explore those emotions, but also to express myself. And in this chapter, I needed to say something.

I believe stories, like BG3, remind us that art isn’t just entertainment. It’s communication. It’s reflection. And it works best when there’s something real to say.

The scene in this chapter isn’t mine; I didn’t create the setting or the situation. Larian did. But I wanted to honour what they built by adding my voice to it. The monologue you’ll read isn’t claiming ownership; it’s my personal response to the dynamics their story opened up.

Power, fear, and control, these patterns don’t belong to one moment in history. They echo everywhere. And this part of the game made me think about the present and what is happening in the world now.

Thank you, @johnlarian, for creating a world where that reflection was possible.

And thank you to anyone reading, for sharing this space with me.

👉 You can read the full chapter here: https://www.tumblr.com/bg3-faces-of-the-forgotten/781518898651643904/chapter-7?source=share

[magpiking]

Day 2 / 100

Did quite the lot, a little burnt out. Honestly, can studying make you dumber? For some reason the past month, I thought the occasional (increasingly common) coffee was fine AFTER brushing my teeth. Don’t ask how I rationalized that. Maybe I thought since it was a liquid…. Who knows. Stupidity at its peak — well, anyways, I think I have cavities now.

- signed, a desperate schoolgirl

[tavyliasin]

Villain-Fucker Angst Hours

Good timezone, darlings~ Are you ready to get all up in your feelings? No? Me neither, loves, but here we are regardless so the words are going to flow as they usually do... This is focused on Raphael from Baldur's Gate 3 and his fandom, but the latter section can easily apply to any villain fandom.

Self-Analysis of Devil-Fuckery, Or Why Do I Adore Raphael When He Is Very Obviously Evil: A Short Essay by TavyliaSin (Who Still Cannot Name Anything With Less Than A Full Paragraph) ((NSFW)) (((Game Spoilers)))

The following may discuss heavier topics, but without specifics, so whilst it should be safe for most to read without triggering any difficult memories please be aware of Raphael's entire vibes, the content and context of his story, and I'd also like to mention that this isn't a "woe be us for we are terrible people" piece, it's actually more about:

"There is an inherent kindness and warmth to much of the Raphael fandom, and I think there could be some common threads behind that, pulling us all in closer in a comforting blanket that we wrap around each other to keep out the cold of the world."

So, what in the nine hells am I on about? Well. Raphael-fandom is a wild and wonderful place to be. The rest is in sections, so feel free to skip through to what you feel is relevant to your interests. I am so prone to waffle I should open a restaurant~

Who Are Fans Of Raphael? What Do They Want?

We are feral, unhinged, all sheets to the wind "I want that devil man, carnally, and there is no force in all the planes that could stop me". There's the vanilla to the extreme and every level in between, tops, bottoms, versatiles, Doms, subs, and switches - there are a whole lot of people who would love to get their hands on either (or both) of Raphael's forms, for a simple smooch or something far more spicy~ [edited in] To add on to this, not all of us even desire him in a sexual way, for many it is romantic, soft, or even just the rather pleasant thought of spending an evening with drinks by the hellfire because he would be fascinating company. Aces, Aros, and AroAces may all find themselves well within the devilish corners of fandom too~ which is a whole other essay~ [end edit] So, I see you. I'm one of you. Extremely loud and utterly hingeless in my fan appreciation for Raphael. He's one of my favourites to write about, I seek art of him, and the same goes for his mirrored other half, Haarlep, who I arguably love more despite there being far less content of them in the game.

And the Fandom? The Vibe?

From my experience in the Raphael Fandom areas, we have a very deep and abiding understanding of consent, respect, and treating each other with an absolute and uncompromising kindness. We've had talks about keeping each other safe in fandom, exchanged details of people we have encountered who need to be avoided, even shared details between moderators of different fandom servers to pre-ban people proven to be creeps and/or art thieves. We've also discussed consent, including the issues with it in the game, and how areas of the story can only really be considered dubious at best and could easily be triggering for people. And these discussions have been open, honest, fair, and with the acknowledgement that most of us love these scenes anyway. So there's a sense of care that runs through everything, behind the horny-posting and fan content, behind the endless thirsting after our favourite fictional characters. We have a depth of kindness that warms my sinners soul every time I see it.

What Does This Have To Do With Self-Reflection, Raphael, or Villainy In General?

Well let's look at Raphael. He's a villain, obviously. He's manipulative, devious, and inherently evil by his very nature. He keeps Hope chained in his basement, constantly subjected to endless torture. There's also mention of how Gortash was sold into his service at a young age, clearly not an enjoyable experience given the other details and how things turn out (particularly as Raphael would need Gortash's own plans to fail entirely in order for him to succeed in his own and get that crown). And as fans, we accept that. We don't sit making excuses, or trying to say "well actually Gortash is a little shit and Hope probably deserve it", and we don't shy away from or conveniently ignore those darker sides of him with malicious intent to enable more evil to flourish. What I noticed, when I allowed the thoughts to continue, is that there is a theme here.

If Evil Can Be Loved Then So Can I

That's the core. Of course, darlings, I am not claiming to be a heinous monster. I certainly do not have a laundry list of crimes that would make the devil himself say "Uh, that's a bit much." But I sure as fuck treat myself like I do sometimes. You see, I think a lot of us have that tendency, to judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else. Our patience, understanding, and forgiveness for others runs deeper than the Mariana Trench, but when it comes to our own flaws? One minor mistake and we think ourselves to be the worst beings ever to disgrace the earth. Thus, the villainy we see reflects how we are treating ourselves. So by loving and accepting all of those things that should be terrible, hated, we are actually learning that no matter how poorly we think of ourselves that we can be worthy of that same love and acceptance. We are extending the affection we are unable to show ourselves to someone we see the worst parts of ourselves amplified within. And that's why villains attract the people with the most kindness. The most forgiveness. Because it takes someone with a truly huge amount of empathy to find love for the embodiment of evil.

Or, IDK, maybe villains are just hot and we're too far down to care.

But wait, before you go!

THERE'S SOMETHING WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.

All of this is about FICTION. We should never be accepting of the kinds of evil we see in the game irl. We do not owe anyone kindness if they do not show it to us.

What is hot in fiction is not always OK IRL.

Look after yourselves out there, remember that consent is key in all things, and please do try to learn to love yourselves, darlings, you are worthy of it and you should judge yourself by the same standard you judge others. If you are in doubt, if you are worried, if you feel afraid - reach out, talk to someone. There are many who will listen.

Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. You deserve that much.

Oh, and all Raphael fans who understand kindness are welcome around me, any hour of the day, I adore our little fandom circles and would gladly collect all of us together. I'm following a lot of you as soon as I find you, like hunting shiny pokemon~

See you in Avernus, my darling Little Mice, may we all find joy in the Cambion's Embrace~

[elenexdarkfire]

My thoughts on Skeletá, more about the philosophy than the music

Talking about It musically, honestly I think Tobias applied a formula to the mold, because many of the songs are way too similar to each other if you listen to the album in full.

Omages can be used as a base, but some riffs seem (to me) copied from other artists, or there are repetitions of their previous songs, that doesn't help these new ones to remain impressed.

But the ones that rock? THEY ROCK!

My favorites were all the singles obviously, but also Umbra, Guiding Lights and Excelsis (but these last two were because they destroyed me internally and made me burst into tears)

Talking about It philosophically?

It's an album that's too melancholic.

Because it wanted to focus on a message of optimism.

That everything is destined to end sooner or later, nothing lasts forever, but for this we must not despair, there is always an opportunity.

We have a life to be grateful for ❤️‍🩹

Following Impera, that spoke of the rise and fall of empires, I had started to theorize for the next one an apocalyptic scenario like Mad Max, instead it's more like The Neverending Story.

That in the end, even if everything is destroyed, there is always hope to start again

Do you remember the final scene, when the Empress gives Bastian the grain of sand, the last remaining piece of Fantasia, and gives him the task of rebuilding the world thanks to his dreams and desires? I saw this album like this...

The empress is Perpetua and Bastian is us.

[magnificentmommas]

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

One of my favorite passages is from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams: "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something 1 even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."  I love this passage because it's both funny and thought-provoking. It reminds me to always be open to the unexpected and to never take things for granted.

[laurachouettepoetry]

In this world, you can’t carry your love on your sleeves— that’s why we hold it in the cages of our ribs. - Laura Chouette

[kateeorg]

Rewatching reactions to The Mandalorian Season 2 finale, and you known what really gets me?

Star Wars has the power to make grown men cry.

No, listen.

When Star Wars hits it right, it has the rare ability to make a certain type of man emotional in a way that generally only happens with sports and movies like Field of Dreams.

Now I don't think Star Wars should only cater to those type of men, of course. The fandom in general is incredibly fickle, some male fans are always negative, and trying to go for shallow nostalgia bait will only get you so far. But overall it's a demographic that is hard to win over, and - possibly unpopular opinion - I don't think they should ignore it or shit on it the way they sometimes do.

And it transcends age, to an extent. It seems like as long as you saw and loved Star Wars before age 20ish, it has that hold over you. My dad was a teen in 1977, and he took my mom to see Empire Strikes Back on their second date a few years later. I've seen this man now in his mid-60s, who has a harder and harder time really getting into movies or shows, being so jazzed about the Obi Wan/Vader fight in Obi Wan Kenobi. And loved Luke coming back in The Mandalorian. We rewatched that episode when my brother came home for Christmas because it was just so good.

I'm seeing that a little with Skeleton Crew reactions too. Not the crying, but the sheer fun and wonder that watching Star Wars has brought to audiences since 1977.

And I just... I don't know. I just think Star Wars needs to acknowledge that more and use that power for good, somehow.

I'm not a guy myself, so I can't speak from experience of how to do that. But I have guys in my life who I want to see have something to love and look forward to.

To me, anything that can bring real joy to people, that transcends mindless or grimdark entertainment, needs to be cultivated. Not burned down or killed or subverted to death in an attempt to correct perceived wrongs.

(See also: Ted Lasso)

[simplymarmies]

In the Midst of Struggles: How I’m Discovering Who I Am

I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery for a few years now. Life—in a sense—is a whole journey of self-discovery for all of us, but my most pivotal moments began around COVID. It’s been a whole rollercoaster ride since then. There were so many moments I felt lost—struggled with my mental health, dealt with a tough diagnosis, navigated a family health emergency, and lost loved ones along the way. Despite these tough times, I’ve come out stronger, braver, and kinder.

Have you ever found yourself questioning your circumstances and wondering why things seem so hard? “Why is this happening to me?” and “Why does it always have to be me?” are questions that I’ve asked far too many times. Yet, every single time, God answers and presents Himself to me. In my darkest moments, He always called out to me. He reminds me that challenges and heartbreak are inevitable parts of life. But even in the toughest times, He has, and always will, bless me with the strength, resources, and opportunities to face them. If He was there for me, I know He will be there for you too.

You might wonder what kind of blessings God can give when it feels like things can’t possibly get any better. The truth is, He has a way of surprising us with unexpected gifts. For me, they came in the form of unexpected financial help, divine timing that made circumstances align in ways I couldn’t have imagined, overflowing support from those around us, and precious time spent with a dying loved one.

Yes, these hardships were difficult, but I thank God everyday for them because they gave me an opportunity to appreciate life even more, and recognize the goodness that exists even in the midst of challenges. These experiences have shaped and molded me into who I am today and will continue to shape who I will become. They’ve changed me for the better, and now, I want to share what I’ve learned along the way.

If you’re going through something similar and feeling alone in your journey, I hope you find solace in my words. You are not alone. Whatever you’re feeling right now is completely valid, and I hope that by sharing my experiences, you’ll feel seen and heard. Hearing others share their stories, especially those who have faced similar struggles, has provided me with great comfort in my hardest moments. So, I hope that I can be a source of comfort for you, too.

Let’s go on this journey together. ❤️

[denimaww]

Patch 8 is out and I've had a blast playing the new subclasses with my friends all day. I just watched the latest animated short from Larian before bed, and I realized that it's probably the last one we're gonna get. And it made me incredibly sad to to think that there really won't be any new official content coming out from this game. Perhaps a bug fix or two, but nothing more. Yet, it's not over.

A lot has happened since this game came out and I know that for me and for many others it has been a crutch through hard times and something to look forward to in so many ways. Through playing the game, engaging in the fandom, doing cosplay, painting fanart, writing fanfiction, watching videos and so much more. I started writing seriously again for the first time since I was 17. I started painting again - I even started embroidering, sculpting and singing. And I know many that have had similar creative awakenings. All thanks to this game. It gave me friends and community. It helped me discover myself, helped me accept myself and heal. It helped me (and is still helping me) handle a returning chronic illness.

I'm so grateful for it all. But it doesn't end here, for me.

I'm going to do a playthrough of every single new subclass. I'm going to keep writing my fanfiction, keep painting and singing and sculpting. I'm going to keep creating until I've sapped this game of every inspiration it can give me.

And the best thing is - I think that's impossible.

Baldur's Gate 3 is made for infinity, and I'm looking forward to every single possible outcome.

[magpiking]

Day 1 / 100 Productivity Challenge

There was this piano teacher of mine… say seven to eight years ago. She said this:

Play it perfectly ten times and you can pack up. But a single mistake, restart counting from zero.

I’ve had an insane number of piano teachers over the course of my childhood. Not even considering how fast I blew through each of them, I was a gremlin child to teach — to the point where the reason I blew through so many tutors was because they let me go.

I’ve always hated practicing.

Anything.

I’m not sure why, but now that I’m in the position to reflect a little, maybe it was cringe, to repeat and cement the idea that I sucked at something. Maybe it was frustrating, not seeing immediate improvement. Frankly, practice was boring, and I rather watch imaginary scenarios inside my head than sit at any table or in front of any keys.

Of course, you would conclude my grades for piano exams were never very high. But once upon a time, I had gotten quite the solid A — just once, but an A notheless.

You can’t fluke success.

At least, that’s what I think. Getting something wrong when you knew the correct answer sometimes is possible and very very common. But how could someone get something right if they never knew anything of its correctness? My logic follows that to get an accidental good-anything that normally involves work means said person at least knew something, anything, to have been able to reach the correct answer.

Anyways, I digress. Back to this A.

This one teacher — who 9 year old me concluded must be not only a spawn of hell but Satans very right hand woman — wrung that honors from me somehow. She had to have been doing something right — (from cracking a conductors wand at me to actually letting me go, firing me because my A managed to stain her perfect record of A+’s) — and I conclude now, nearly a decade later that it must have been her attitude towards practice.

Everybody knows practice makes perfect. Everyone. There’s even a saying for it, it’s “practice makes perfect.”

But what is practice? What counts?

I still practiced before exams after her, with other teachers. Which hidden cranny of my abilities did the demon-teacher claw out that A?

Practice does make perfect eventually, of course. But all those years back, she was trying to drive home another message:

Real practice doesn’t end once perfect is reached. ‘Practice until perfection’ doesn’t mean much in the long run. What matters is the secret hidden step of ‘practicing perfection.’

I guess I didn’t understand her at the time.

You gotta lock that perfection in, yknow??

So. 100 days of productivity… any skipped day for me means I start counting again at zero. If I get it all in one go — unlikely but if — then that’s great. If I don’t — well eventually I will, and that’s even better. That’s where the practice lies, after all.

One.

- signed, a desperate schoolgirl

[elixirofkalimat1]

About the Elixir

"Words Shape consciousness. Language shapes perception."

Elixir of Kalimat is where linguistics meets esotericism, psychology dances with philosophy, and words hold the power to transform.

Ingredients of the Elixir

A curated collection of reflections, essays, and musings meant to stir both intellect and soul:

● In-Depth Articles: Explorations in language, philosophy, psychology, and spirituality.

● Personal Reflections: Honest glimpses into the inner landscapes of feeling, growth, and transformation.

● Practical Tips: Notes on writing, language learning, personal growth, and mindful living.

● Book recommendations: Curated readings for the intellectually curious and philosophically inclined.

● Artistic musings: Commentary and reverence for cinema, music, and the arts as vessels of meaning.

Elixir of Kalimat is more than a blog—it is a sanctuary for seekers, wordsmiths, and quit thinkers. If these words stir something in you, then you're already part of the elixir.

[velvet-script]

A Quiet Observation

Sometimes, it's in the smallest of moments that I find the most beauty. A half-read book, the sound of rain against the window, or the simple act of watching a candle flicker. It's these quiet moments that help me remember to breathe. In a world so fast-paced, I find solace in slowing down and letting the world unfold at it's own pace.

[unicorntgoughts]

I’m tired of feeling like I need to get away to find joy—I deserve to have it right where I am.

@unicorntgoughts

[queenie435]