#Overcoming Doubts

[praiseinchains]

Gratitude Journal Entry (6/30/24)

Today I'm Grateful For:

*My mental reset day!!!

*That I have new motivation to lose weight. For the next 3 weeks I'm doing a plant-based diet (to see if it'll help my bloating) and I have a Pilates workout I just got that's about 40 minutes. Really looking forward to seeing the aftereffects!

*That I got my poem done yesterday and that I actually liked it! That's how I know that writing is my dream and that I'm not following someone else's dream for my life. I could never listen to myself sing, but I can read my own writing, and I could spend all day writing.

Something I'm Proud Of:

That I am more self-assured and don't feel the need to do what others expect me to do simply to please them. It took a while and caused a lot of distress, but I've finally realized my own dream.

Tomorrow I'm Looking Forward To:

The official start of my writing challenge. EEP!!! For what I want to do, I'm going to have to do multiple poems a day (which there's no daily limit). Since I'm just getting into this, it's going to be a challenge, but I'm happy at the thought of spending most of my day focusing on writing. Despite how thrilled I am of getting started, I do have doubts: Will I be good enough? Will my poems be stupid? Will what I want to share come across how I want it to? But if I don't do this, I will spend the rest of my life regretting it and wondering what would have happened had I faced my fear.

[kc22invesmentsblog]

Embracing Limitless Potential: Overcoming Doubts for a Brighter Tomorrow

Written by Delvin In the realm of possibilities, doubts act as the barriers that obstruct our journey towards realizing our full potential. Franklin D. Roosevelt’s timeless words remind us that our doubts today have the power to shape our tomorrows. It is imperative to acknowledge that the only limits we face are the doubts we allow to linger within us. As we embark on a new week, let us shed…

[mirrorhouse]

You did this? ...Yeah! Yeah, I did this.

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

[canisalbus]

If Machete and Vasco were roommates before they became a couple, there had to have been moments of innocent touching/body contact, followed by deep gay panic.

.

[bardicious]

The way somethings never change. ❤️

[lord-squiggletits]

When Optimus in Chaos Theory said "Hatred may sustain you, but it diminishes me. I am lessened by it." that was so fucking deep of him

[positiveseed]

Overcoming Self-Doubt: Steps to Boost Your Confidence

Self-doubt can be a major obstacle in our personal and professional lives, preventing us from achieving our goals and living our best lives. But with the right mindset and strategies, we can learn to overcome self-doubt and boost our confidence.

1. Recognize Your Self-Doubt The first step to overcoming self-doubt is recognizing when it arises. This means paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, and identifying when you start to doubt yourself or your abilities.

2. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts Once you recognize your self-doubt, the next step is to challenge your negative thoughts. This means questioning the validity of your negative beliefs and replacing them with more positive, realistic ones. For example, if you are doubting your ability to succeed in a new job, remind yourself of times when you have overcome challenges in the past and focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

3. Practice Self-Care Self-care is an important part of boosting your confidence and overcoming self-doubt. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. This can include things like eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and taking time to relax and recharge.

4. Learn New Skills Learning new skills can also help you overcome self-doubt and boost your confidence. This can help you build confidence, expand your knowledge, and open up new opportunities. Whether it's taking a class, learning a new language, or developing a new skill for your career, there are endless possibilities for personal growth and development.

5. Seek Support Finally, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can also help you overcome self-doubt. Talking to someone you trust about your feelings can help you gain perspective and identify strategies for moving forward.

Closing:

In conclusion, self-doubt can be a major obstacle in our personal and professional lives, but with the right mindset and strategies, we can learn to overcome it and boost our confidence. By recognizing our self-doubt, challenging our negative thoughts, practicing self-care, learning new skills, and seeking support, we can unlock our full potential and achieve our goals. Remember, you are capable of amazing things - all you need to do is believe in yourself.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

“you look tired.” I’m literally going insane.

[owlsie-hoot]

Married (4x1)

[sinfuego]

Tbh, nothing has made me sympathize more with Kipperlilly Copperkettle than her anger issues.

Cause anger is an emotion we feel when we're missing something. When we need something and can't get it. It's a balm to make us feel better when things don't go our way.

When things aren't fair.

[kc22invesmentsblog]

Embracing Limitless Potential: Overcoming Doubts to Shape Tomorrow

Written by Delvin In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” These profound words echo a timeless truth that resonates with each of us. As we stand at the threshold of a new day, it’s crucial to recognize that the barriers we face are often rooted in our own uncertainties. Every Wednesday morning offers a precious…

[sipping-ambrosia-wine]

i wanted to weigh bad faith readings vs how clumsy the writing in Weapons Factory actually was to make people dislike luminara so much and. wow. she literally falls to her knees and despairs when she thinks barriss is dead.

[antisocialxconstruct]

Yoru for @avibero

[pianokantzart]

A Picture of Wealth

A quick oneshot for a possible beginning of a Luigi's Mansion movie. Not particularly exciting, but if you like quiet Mario and Luigi slice of life stuff you'll probably like this. I started writing this a while ago, but this post by @theangelofangst inspired me to finish it. AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49496971

_____________________________​​

After waving ‘goodbye’ to the Mail Toad, Luigi popped open the mailbox and pulled out a stack of envelopes. He scanned them for a moment, loosely sorting them in his mind. It was easy to tell what came from The Mushroom Kingdom and what came from Brooklyn; bright, pastel colored envelopes and fountain pen clashing against cold copy-pasted text on plain white. There was a ‘thank you’ card from a neighboring toad whose sink they had fixed free of charge, a little flier advertising a free upcoming performance in the square, and a pretty, pink envelope embossed with a crown, whose handiwork was easy to recognize. Even the bills were friendly and personable, though they formed as much of a pit in his stomach as the cold typeface from Brooklyn.

For Mario and Luigi, living on their own had been an adjustment, and having an actual income was a serious learning curve. There was an initial high of having money in their pockets, which led to a spending spree to replace much of their oldest tools and equipment before independent living’s new stack of expenses hit them like a train. Still, they had been fairly cautious. Despite a few poor initial decisions they would’ve had enough money to stay out of the red… had it not been for one giant curveball that had been thrown at them.

Luigi stepped back through the front door into the kitchen where Mario sat at the table, hatless and disheveled, hunched over a computer and a stack of papers where he’d been since sunrise. One hand tapped a pencil against a notepad, the other pressed their shared cellphone to his ear.

“Dad, it’s alright. You need it more than we do,” Mario said, “No, forget it, I- no, it’s not a loan.” Luigi couldn’t help but smile as he peeked around the doorway and listened in. It sounded like their father had discovered the check they sent them, and was reacting about as expected. He at least sounded lively from what he could overhear… when they first got the news that he was staying in the hospital for a few days, Mario and Luigi feared the worst. Luckily, it seemed their dad had the family’s hereditary trait of being able to bounce back from just about anything, the bad news was that despite twenty five straight years of company loyalty, getting the help owed to him by the insurance was like pulling teeth.

“Look, I’m a little busy. We’ll talk about it at Sunday lunch, okay?” Mario sighed, “Yeah. Okay. You too. Bye, Dad.” With that he hung up, and set the phone to the side.

“Sounds like he’s feeling better” Luigi laughed, finally stepping into the kitchen to deliver the mail to the table. “Yep.” Mario replied with a tired chuckle, barely even glancing up from his work. “Not well enough to work yet though, as much as he wants to.” “Did the check get deposited?” “Mom managed it under his nose, but it might be the only check that goes through for us this month if I don’t figure something out.” Mario sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “Ugh, why did I replace our van’s entire engine. All it needed was a few new spark plugs!” “The Garrisons still owe us for rerouting their fountain." Luigi assured, "I’ll send them an invoice.” He stopped for a moment and looked over Mario’s workspace: every possible refund for unnecessary expenses noted and listed, every document scattered about like the stress of the room had caused a miniature explosion on the kitchen table, a mustard-stained receipt for a strap wrench having made it all the way to the empty dishes from lunchtime. Luigi reached over his brother’s shoulder to retrieve the dishes and arrange some of the papers into neat little piles. Mario leaned to the side to give him room.

“You know,” Luigi began hesitantly, “maybe we should ask Princess Peach if-” “We are not asking the princess for money.” Mario interrupted. “No no… I mean, maybe she can void our water bill or something?” “She gave us a free house Luigi! You really think it’s right to ask her for more.” “Maybe?" Luigi shrugged, "I mean, protecting the kingdom has kind of interfered with our work schedule.” “We do that because it’s right, Luigi, not for a paycheck.” “I know!” Luigi raised his voice a little in frustration. He stepped away from the table to deliver the empty plate and glass to the sink, rinsing them off and scrubbing them a little too aggressively to let off steam, “But I’m sure if we explain our situation, she can do something.” “I told you, the answer is no. We’re not bumming off of anyone, especially not Princess Peach.” “It’s not bumming, it’s asking for help! There’s no shame in asking for help. When you need help, you need help!”

Mario didn’t answer, he just grumbled quietly to himself and returned to the bills. Luigi rolled his eyes, scrubbing clean a few extra dishes and placing them in the drying rack before he returned to where his brother sat. He leaned against him, resting his forearm on his shoulder in a purposefully obnoxious way. “You’re as bad as Dad is.” “I am not.” “Are so.” Luigi smiled mischievously, “You look like him too. I’m probably gonna start calling you ‘Dad’ on accident when you start losing your hair.” Luigi tussled his brother’s auburn locks. Mario pulled away, unable to help but laugh as he grabbed one of the pieces of junk mail on the table, crumpled it up, and threw it at Luigi in retaliation. “Will you get out of here?”

Luigi blocked the missile with his hand. He attempted to catch it, but it tumbled out of his slippery grip and landed on the floor. Luigi intended to take it directly in the garbage, but leaning down to pick it up the colors caught his eye… and he realized he did not quite notice this particular piece of mail when he initially emptied the mailbox. Interest piqued, he uncrumpled the paper and read it. His brow raised and his heart skipped a beat. “Mario!” he declared, the sudden exclamation making his brother jump, “We’ve got a free mansion!” Mario let out a loud groan, turning around in his chair. “Oh come on Weegee! It’s an obvious scam!”

Luigi shook his head. “No no, they’ve got a map and an address and everything!” He turned the pamphlet over in his hands in order to reexamine the large block of text on the back, “It says ‘only a select few who apply for noble titles, such as those who are known locally for their heroism’ … that's us!... ‘ are receiving this limited time offer’!” Luigi looked up from his reading to grin excitedly at Mario, who looked back at him with a bored expression. Luigi, undeterred, returned his eyes the advertisement. “There’s a place called Evershade Valley with a big, beautiful mansion in the center of it. Look!” Luigi held the picture out to his big brother, shoving it a little too close to his face in his excitement. “Neo-Gothic architecture!”

Mario took the flier from Luigi’s hands to scrutinize it more closely. The cover image seemed sketchy. The coloration was off, the greenery in the lawn looked doctored, and the giant, garish rainbow plastered into the background reeked of overcompensation. “Sounds like just the kind of padding they’d add to a scam to make it seem like a little less of a scam,” he mumbled, eyes trailing down to the map beneath the image of the mansion. “Evershade Valley… looks like it’s not too far from The Dark Lands. Are you sure about this?” Hearing ‘Dark Lands’ Luigi stiffened a bit, bringing his hands close to his chest as he reconsidered for a few seconds. “It’s near The Darklands, not in The Darklands.” He decided after a moment, “Maybe we can flip this place!: reinstall some plumbing, fix up the wiring, add a fresh coat of paint… boom! Money in our pockets!”

Mario gripped his chin, running a thumb over his mustache thoughtfully. No way it was that easy. If this was really a free mansion like the advertisement said, it couldn’t be anything other than a dilapidated shell that wasn’t worth the investment. If not that, there was no doubt something wrong with the location… nobody simply gave away free mansions. 

On the other hand, Mario was impressed that Luigi maintained interest despite its close proximity to The Darklands. Given his past experiences, Mario expected him to back down at the mere mention of that place. The fact that some old building was enough to overshadow those fears made his desire hard to ignore. That, and Luigi was giving him that stupid sad-eyed pleading face that Mario could never say no to. He let out a heavy sigh, smoothed out the pamphlet a bit with his fingers, and handed it back to his brother. “Fine. On one condition.”

“Really!?” Luigi cheered. He threw out his arms to pluck his brother up into a hug, when Mario extended a hand to stave him off a moment.

“On one condition.” He repeated, “You stay here and run the business while I’m away. We can’t afford to miss any clients.”

Luigi deflated. He withdrew his arms and anxiously rubbed the tops of his hands. “Run the business… alone? Just me?” “If I take a warp pipe I shouldn’t be gone longer than a day. You’ll be fine.”

“No I won’t.” Mario cocked his head. He was startled by the terseness of the reply, upsettingly certain in its pessimism. “What do you mean? Of course you will! You just got a few leaky sinks and a running toilet. Nothin’ major.”

“Mario, name one time I did something completely on my own that didn’t turn out a disaster.” Mario opened his mouth to respond, but stopped. He thought things over a bit longer, opened his mouth again, then shut it again to think some more. It was difficult enough recalling a time that Luigi was on his own to begin with– they worked together at every opportunity– but when circumstances drove them apart, even for the briefest of moments, Luigi seemed to always end up in some kind of trouble. Mario’s eyes brightened as one instance popped into his mind. He smiled and snapped his fingers. “Aha! seventh grade! You made it into the Wizard of Oz musical! Played a really good Tinman!” Luigi smiled despondently, crossing his arms. “Mario, I vomited on stage.” “Only during the final bow. The final bow doesn’t count.” Luigi’s expression only grew more troubled as his arms tightened against his chest, and his eyes remained fixed to the ground. Mario stood up from his chair. He walked up to his brother, and took his face in his hands. “Hey, c’mon, don’t look like that,” he said, lifting his Luigi's head to meet his gaze. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you just need a bit more confidence.” Mario’s grip fell from Luigi's face to his shoulders, giving them an endearing squeeze. “Maybe it’ll be good for you to give it a shot on your own. Your luck can’t be all bad, can it?” Neither of them quite knew the answer to that. Both of them stood silent for a moment as Luigi looked at his brother, then down at the pamphlet in his hand, and the big, beautiful mansion on the front. He couldn’t quite figure it out, but something about the place resonated with him. It made him remember being a kid, reading through his mom’s interior design magazines– the sense of wonder and possibility they incited, and the quiet longing to have such a place of his own to wander and explore. He folded the flier, placed it in his pocket, took a deep breath, and sighed. “I’ll do it.”

“Ha ha! That’s my bro.” Mario released his brother’s shoulders to give him a friendly jab with his elbow. “Maybe it’ll be good for you to try to work the business on your own! Just… make sure that clients put their dogs away before you set foot anywhere.”

Luigi grimaced. A small shudder ran up his back as he remembered the incident with Francis The Dog at their first job. Wondering what might have happened to him if Mario hadn’t been there to come to his rescue, second thoughts quickly began to creep in. “Maybe it is a scam–” “Nope! Too late. We’re doing this.” Mario had a fresh determination in his voice as he pulled out his chair and sat back down at the kitchen table. “I’ll finish balancing the checkbook tonight, then leave in the morning– 8 a.m sharp. If I hurry, I might be able to get home in time to help you with the last few jobs.”

Luigi knew that tone. No matter how much his brother initially hated the idea, once he started talking like that there was no stopping him from following through. Luigi had dug his grave, it was time to lie in it. Trying– and failing– not to think about everything that could go wrong in a single work day, Luigi began looking around for something to occupy his mind. The dishes were done, the garden was weeded, and he didn’t need to start dinner for another few hours, so he went to the broom closet and pulled out his vacuum. Plugging it in and unwinding the cord he went to work, allowing himself to get lost in the satisfying rattle of dirt being sucked away as he meticulously went over the carpet and wooden floor bit by bit, until every square inch of the house was clean and tidy.

[lunacelebrateslife]