#Or well. he Was doing all that before getting exploded

[silverskyeline]

ੈ♡˳ 'lonely nights' - 18+ drover x gn!reader

summary: drover misses you while droving, imagining your body against his inside his tent. you're not here, so he supposes his hand will have to do. . . (700 words) tags: drover jerks off thinking of you, dirty talk, established relationship, breeding mention, no use of y/n, gn reader, drover fantasises about reader.

drover misses you, always misses you, but he keeps that thought to himself until he's tucked away inside the safety of his tent while on this particularly long drove. if the boys catch wind of him pining for you it'd be all over, he'd never hear the end of it. so he waits until he's alone, eyes fixed on the canvas material above him.

he thinks of you, envisions your body above him, nestled neatly into his lap right where you belong. drover swears he can almost feel you, feel the weight of your hips pushing down against his, your clothed heat throbbing with want, with need. it makes his head spin and his cock ache and, fuck, he needs you.

but you're not here. he's alone with his memories and the knowledge that you're miles and miles away, hopefully missing him too.

he wonders if you think about him, wrapped in warm sheets, head dotted with droplets of sweat, calling his name behind the palm clamped over your desperate lips as your eager hand works between your legs. . . is that what you're doing right now? teasing yourself with a touch you know will never satisfy you like he does?

are you hot for him? sweating and panting as you silently beg for his cock? how often, he wonders, do you find yourself grinding against your own palm, stealing glances at the space he used to occupy in bed?

before he knows it, he's palming himself through his boxers, coaxing his half-hard length to attention. it's not you, but it'll have to do. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, hand snaking beneath the material to give himself a squeeze.

drover paints pictures of you behind his eyelids, the curve of your body, the sweet sound you make when you moan, the warmth he feels when you wrap around him so perfectly - it creates an atmosphere so strong he swears you're really here with him.

his hand works his cock, pumping in a slow rhythm, imagining you bouncing above him with your hands planted firmly on his chest. 'that's it baby,' he'd say, 'feel good bouncin' on my cock? you miss me?'

raising his free hand towards his mouth, he bites down on a knuckle to muffle his groans. he's lost in the thought of you, the thought of fucking up into your eager hole, remembering the way you flutter around him when you get close. his thumb swipes across his sensitive tip, precum beading in anticipation of release.

god, what he wouldn't give right now to cum deep inside you. that was always his favourite part, the way you'd twitch and gasp as he fills you to the brim with his hot load. you took it so well, like you were made for him to breed you. . .

shit, his thoughts are in the gutter again, but it's easy for him to find himself there when he thinks of you.

hips rising, he finds himself bucking into his fist, a pistoning rhythm that threatens to send him over the edge. he's close, whispering your name, hoping it's quiet enough to get lost in the ambience of the still outback surrounding his tent. he imagines grabbing your hips, feeling the supple curves of your body, holding you down and filling you up.

it's all too much.

drover explodes, hot cum flooding across his chiselled tan stomach, dripping down along his hand as he works himself through his release. he gasps, head tilting back as his adam's apple bobs with every thirsty swallow. "take it, fuck. . ." he whispers under his breath, aftershocks rippling through his sensitive body.

the storm clears, the paintings of you behind his eyelids fading as he settles into the calm of the night, quelling his hunger for the time being.

but he still misses you, every day.

in a couple of weeks, drover'll finally see you again, coming home. that thought keeps him going on particularly taxing days. a smile tugs at the corner of his lips at the thought of taking you into the bedroom and showing you just how much he's missed you. what a mess he'll make of you, how he'll worship your body, litter kisses along your calf until he reaches the apex of your thighs, finding home in the body he knows as well as his own.

[froggiewrites]

May I request some Luffy smut? Maybe including some aphrodisiac of some kind or influence from a devil fruit- I don't mind! I'd just love to see your ideas

I am SO sorry this has taken so long, thank you to everyone who's sent in requests for being so patient. Life has been kicking my ass this month so badly I haven't even been able to read any fanfic, let alone write it. Fingers crossed that the end of November is kinder than the beginning!

I'm really excited to have finally finished this request, I'm a big sucker for sex pollen/aphrodisiac stuff so this was really fun for me! Also, this was my first time writing for Luffy, so I hope I did him justice!

Need

Pairing: Luffy x Reader

NSFW

Summary: You find your Captain in dire need of a little help. What kind of friend would you be if you didn't provide? Warnings: Smut, Sex Pollen/Aphrodisiac, Oral Sex (Reader receiving), Vaginal Sex Word Count: 1.8k

You should have known something was wrong when the ship was quiet. The Thousand Sunny is never quiet. There’s always the sound of clashing metal, of excited voices, of a song dancing its way across the deck. But you don’t hear a single noise outside of your door, nor do you see anyone as you pad your way outside. 

You knew that you were docking soon, that your crew would leave to explore the island, but you didn’t expect them to leave without waking you up. You had been on night watch last night, so you certainly needed the rest, but you’re not used to them not at least momentarily waking you to let you know where everyone’s going.

Your surprise and confusion only grows as you hear someone crashing through the brush, and you see your Captain emerge, sprinting precariously toward the ship as though he’s being chased.

“Luffy?”

He doesn’t answer as he continues to rush forward, launching himself up onto the Sunny. Luffy stumbles onto the deck, teetering dangerously towards the railing. Before you can rush to catch him, his back hits the wood, and he lowers himself to the ground, legs splayed out. You can’t even tell if he can see you until he murmurs your name. He’s dripping with sweat, his face red.

You kneel down between his legs, leaning forward to try to get a good look at him. You can’t see any visible injuries, but clearly something is horribly wrong. “Are you okay, Luff?”

“No.” His voice is nothing but a whine, his eyes glassy and unfocused. “Need…something.”

“Something?”

Luffy glances around, pout on his face. “Something. Dunno what.”

You reach out to rest your hand on his forehead, which is burning so hot you almost pull it back in shock. He leans into your touch, giving off a soft hum. “You have a fever. Do you know what happened to you?”

“Nothing happened. We were all exploring, and we split into groups, and then…hm…I ate that fruit Zoro picked.”

Oh god. Zoro’s not exactly a botanist, or a survivalist, and for a single moment you believe with every fiber of your being that your dear friend has accidentally poisoned your captain. “What kind of fruit was it?”

“I dunno. It was sweet. And red.”

You sigh. “That doesn’t narrow it down at all. God, you would think that eating one mystery fruit in your life would be enough for you.”

His indignation beats out his discomfort for just a moment. “The first one went really well.”

You guess you can’t argue with that. “Can you remember anything else about it? We can rule out any devil fruit since you haven’t…exploded.”

“It was warm. And it made me wanna come find you.”

That makes you pause. “It…made you want to find me? Like specifically me?”

“Yeah.”

You have a bad feeling about this. “Do you know why you wanted me?”

He squints in concentration. “To…make it better.”

“How?”

He grabs your hand and places it back on his face. The sound he makes is borderline erotic. “Like this. This helps.”

The warmth against your hand, the moan that escapes your captain, the tent you can see growing in his pants, it all starts painting a very troubling picture. A very tempting one, but troubling nonetheless. “Luffy, are you warm anywhere in particular?”

“My stomach. And lower.” He pulls you closer, wrapping an arm around you and burying his face in your neck. His nose nuzzles against you, and he takes a deep breath, inhaling your scent and sighing. His hands gently massage against your hips, reveling in the feeling of your skin beneath his fingertips. “You’re soft,” he murmurs, lips brushing lightly against you. You clench your thighs involuntarily, a move you hope he doesn’t notice.

“You’re—ahh!” One of his hands moves up to your breast, squeezing your breast through your shirt, and he moans again at your squeak. “You’re not in your right mind, Luffy! I think that fruit was—ah!” His hand slides beneath your shirt, then your bra, and finally he pinches your nipple. 

“Come closer.” His voice is thick as he pulls you onto his lap. “I think this is fixing it. Feels nice.” He jerks his hips, and you can feel his hardness rub against you. You try to keep your moan inside of your mouth, but when you do, he huffs, and ruts into you harder.

“Luffy!”

He grins. “That’s better.” As his hand begins to slide down the front of your pants you finally come to your senses and grab it, stopping him in his tracks. He blinks at you, a little clarity coming back to his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“You–you’re clearly under the influence of something, and I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want–”

“I want it.” The hand slides slowly down further. His voice grows hungrier, more desperate. “I need it.”

With the way he’s looking at you, pupils blown out and cheeks flushed, you believe him.

“Well if you really need it, I’d hate to deprive you, Captain.”

He grins, and before you know it, you’re pinned to the deck, your shirt and bra removed, Luffy’s teeth pressing insistently against your chest. He shoves his hand unceremoniously between your legs, making a small noise of satisfaction against you when you squeal. His fingers slide against your clothed clit, sending a shiver up your spine and slowly building the heat in your gut. He hums quietly, “It’s wet.” He looks up at you. “For me?”

You flush, before nodding quickly. You can’t bring yourself to look at him out of fear you’ll combust. You can see the sweat sliding down the muscles in his arms and chest, his tongue peeking out of his mouth as he pants. He looks even better than you’d ever dreamed, his eyes radiating a hunger than you never expected to be directed at you.

He quickly slides down your pants and underwear in a single motion, and in your surprise you press your thighs together, shielding yourself from him. He practically growls, “Stop that. Wanna taste.”

He pries your thighs apart, diving into you with the same enthusiasm he does everything else. His tongue laps at you with reckless abandon as he sloppily takes everything you’ll give him. His hands pull you impossibly closer, his nose brushing against your clit as his mouth explores. When you moan, he laughs against you, the rumble of it spreading across your sensitive skin and making your thighs tense around his head. You worry you’ll suffocate him, drown him, but he doesn’t seem to mind losing to you.

You can feel the tension building in your body, your legs shaking as you come closer and closer to your peak. Your hands grip the grass beneath you, one second away from ripping it out of the deck entirely. Some part of you is hyper aware of the fact you are out in the open, where anybody could see or hear, but the rest of you is lost in the pleasure of the moment, in the feeling of your Captain’s tongue against you. So you don’t try to stop your back from arching as your climax grows nearer, nor do you make any attempt to hold back your cry as you cum on your Captain’s face.

He pulls away from you, his face dripping, his pupils blown out, and his lips upturned into a dazed smile. You can’t bring yourself to look away as he slowly licks his lips, savoring every drop of you. Without a word, his mouth crashes into yours, and you can taste yourself on his lips. His hands roughly force down his pants, exposing his weeping cock to the cold air. He lets out a borderline whimper of relief against your lips, before pulling back just long enough to whisper, “Get ready.”

“Lu–ah!” He thrusts into you in one smooth stroke as his lips once again insistently press against yours, stealing your breath away. You can feel every inch of him as your body welcomes him in, clenching around his length. He moans into your mouth, the sound deep and wanton. He gives both of you little time to adjust before his hips are rocking, chasing the release he’s been so desperate for. He’s moving so quickly you’re surprised he was patient enough to even wait this long. His hands are borderline bruising on your hips, his teeth clacking against yours as your kiss grows rougher and rougher, as your dear friend and Captain pounds into you with the fervor of an animal in heat. 

You can feel his muscles tense under your fingers as you pull him tighter. His breaths grow more ragged with every moment, and as he finally pulls away from your kiss you get to see the beautiful sight of the dam breaking as Luffy finally cums. His face is filled with a mix of relief, exhaustion, and affection as he gives a final few thrusts, your own climax coming not soon after. He collapses on top of you, and the weight is more comforting than crushing, though it steals your breath away anyway.

“I was right.” His voice is sleepy and slow, and you can’t help but picture the faces of your friends as they find you stripped bare and pinned to the deck below your Captain. Sanji might have a breakdown.

“Right about what?”

“I needed you. You fixed it.” His hand comes to rest on the back of your head affectionately, and he places a comically loud smooch on your forehead.

“So you’re all cured?”

“Ye–” He hums, and you can see an idea take him as his face scrunches up and his eyes shift away. “No. I think we’ll need to do this again.”

You can’t keep the smile out of your voice as you respond. “Oh yeah? How many more times, do you think?”

“I dunno. A lot. It could take a while.”

You laugh. “You know, I think we can do this as many times as it takes.”

He lets out an overjoyed laugh. “Awesome!”

“But first we should get inside before anyone else gets back. I don’t really want them to see me like this.”

He nods, quickly scooping you up and carrying you in the direction of his cabin. Before you can say anything else, you hear the voices of your crew coming closer, and you quietly urge him to rush.

You only get a moment of relief before you hear Zoro’s confused voice.

“Whose clothes are these?”

Your panic is quickly overshadowed by Luffy’s booming laugh rumbling through his chest, spreading the same infectious joy that he always does. The embarrassment is worth it, just to hear such a wonderful sound.

Tag List:  @pandora-writes-one-piece @shy-writer-999 @saturogojosgirl @dreamcastgirl99 @tochillwithamockingjay

[raayllum]

Trailer Breakdown time

Important notice: There will be spoilers from 7x01 mentioned as well from NYCC as well as screencaps that were previously released. Read ahead at your own risk!

So what a trailer am I right?

For this meta I'm gonna divide into sections in terms of episode order (largely 7x01, 7x02, and speculation to the mid season point) and then also talk about voice overs / clip placement from previous seasons when I think it's relevant. Let's go!

What we know

These shots of Callum and then Ezran and co. touching down in Katolis, as well as the vision Ezran has of his parents (which the fact he's seeing like that rather than how they actually were, sitting on the thrones side by side, is life ruining let me tell you) are all from 7x01, "Death Alive".

We know thanks to 7x01 that Runaan is arrested and everyone goes to the Banther Lodge to set up a temporary camp / plan their next moves, hence a makeshift council meeting (which Ezran having the throne brought with him... baby boy really isn't doing well). So it seems the following screencaps are all from 7x02.

We can also place this Callum and Rayla handhold at the Banther Lodge by the bridge outside.

They are probably (for whatever reason) conspiring/deciding to free Runaan and leave, leading to this scene with matching sky / colours - Soren and Rayla squaring off before Ezran arrives with more guards.

He might let them go or try to hold on, but they successfully flee / get away. I could also see Rayla and/or Runaan stepping in like "I'll stay behind, you go to the Silvergrove" (and if Rayla offers, that might melt Ezran enough to let them leave). Either way, I think Ezran's conversation with Aanya on the Banther Lodge bridge will either influence the choice(s) he makes here if it's before, or reference this crossroads if it comes after before we leave the Banther Lodge for the season.

We also know from 7x01 that Aaravos wants a Moon primal stone and to likely corrupt the Moon Nexus in order to invert life and death, destroy the Cosmic Order, and bring about eternal night. It seems likely Claudia and human Aaravos will achieve these aims by the mid-season point-ish. After 7x01 they have to go to the Puzzle House to get the map to the Garden of Innocence with unicorns, and they will likely require Terry's Pure Heart (my interview with Aaron Ehasz) to read the map to get them there. If 7x02 is "pure heart" that could be a nice parallel between Callum-Rayla and Terry-Claudia about a willingness (or lack of) to help and why.

From there, it's all speculation, so let's get into it.

What we can speculate

So first things first, we get Claudia and Human Aaravos at the Moon Nexus doing the Nexus inversion, presumably, and bringing people / creatures back from the dead. One looks rather like Ziard and brings up a staff, which Aaravos takes.

We also know this is earlier on in the season because Claudia's har is more white. During the spell, we also see Soren, Terry, Allen, and what seems to be Aanya holding a dead / unconcious Lujanne on the ground. It seems both Soren and Terry are running to stop her, though I don't know what Allen is doing (maybe holding back Ezran for some reason, if Ez is there).

Then we have more of the dead coming out, including a dragon that almost squashes Soren but does not have a rider, so it's not the same (assumedly) as before.

Later on, we see more creatures crawling out of the water at what seems to be the Nexus, since it's bordered by the same walls as the lake.

We also see Aanya and Ezran surrounded by the dead at the Valley of Graves (hi Sol Regem skeleton), but the moon doesn't look as... corrupted / taken as it does at the Nexus shot, so this could be happening in the early stages of the spell. Then Ezran could send Soren, who gets there too late, and who knows how fast Aaravos can travel on his own.

There seems to be some kind of confrontation between Ez, Aanya (hi exploding fire arrows), and Aaravos at the Valley of the Graves either way.

Since like I said the Moon isn't in the right spot, I'd wager the Ez-Aanya fight here is from 7x03 or 7x04, with the Moon Nexus inversion in 7x04 or 7x05. In the same timeframe, Rayla (and Runaan + Callum?) is going back to the Silvergrove and being put on trial.

The little tiny mushrooms here and in the section with her and one of the fallen assassins makes me think that rather than just standing around and talking, there could be an underwater dream-like portion to the trial as well. Something like "You touch the assassin and get blood on your hands (literally)" because they love their on-the-nose symbolism.

So I don't think the screenshots here are Rayla getting injured... Yet.

Now onto the harder to speculate sections, or what I like to call

What the Fuck is Going On

It seems, since Callum and Ezran learn that, "Aaravos is back. He wants to bring about eternal night. He's unleashed the spirits of the dead" (Callum) that the kids regroup and plan for what to do next. This could be 7x05 or 7x06. The trio (broyals / Rayla and Ezran) reconcile maybe from the Runaan fall out, with Ezran asserting that, "We have to be ready. We have to build our defences." (This could also be where Callum's line as a "the three of us have been through a lot together. We'll get through this, too" comes in as a parting goodbye before the group splits, as well as Callum's heroic rallying speech that is very reminiscent of 3x08: "There is a way out of this. With good people doing courageous things. Doing what's right!").

This "building our defences" could mean that the trio splits up to go get allies from prior seasons, like Rex Igneous (Ezran and co. shot) and Akiyu. They could also be fetching sun crystals for Aanya's arrows.

We see Callum defending an unconscious Akiyu (by the water) and Runaan (just under his tunic flare). His ice spell seemingly responds to Claudia's fire spell, and she has more white hair and is standing likewise near water. So it seems we'll get a Callum Claudia duel face off sometime in the mid to late season!

It also seems that Claudia's Laurelion dragon-scale necklace is just a dragon-scale, but gives her the super armour / fire power-up.

At some point we also meet up with the Sunfire elves, not just at their ruins / make-shift camp, but at the Sunforge palace itself, since Khessa's throne is in the background in these shots with Rayla. The purple background and Phyrrah also indicates that Soren and Corvus are in the same area.

Presumably, they've gathered all their allies (end of 7x08?) and are preparing for their final attempt to defeat Aaravos (and free Callum?). And Callum is going to get possessed, so when do we think it's happening?

Well, if the gang is travelling to get allies, Callum (and Rayla - and maybe Ezran or others?) have gone to get Zubeia perhaps from the mushroom mage. While there, shit goes down, and we get this shot of Callum (presumably from 7x06-7x07):

While the cube is angled the way it was in Callum's dark magic dreams, I don't think this is a dream. The background doesn't match up with previous, we've never seen this form of corrupted face for him with his eyes not black, and he has a white streak, which was never present when dreaming of himself as Aaravos' puppet last season.

I also don't think Callum is going to do dark magic to coin Aaravos (at least not for the initial corruption). Not only is it a little wonky pacing wise, it's a bit too clean, as it takes away the #1 threat Callum is scared of when it comes to doing dark magic. While he of course doesn't want to be corrupted at all, it was primarily the fact the corruption would make him Aaravos' puppet that scared him. It's also a bit too thematically contradictory for Aaravos to be successfully defeated in a 'bad way' rather than in a good way (teamwork, etc) nor does it work with the 6x03 set up for him and Rayla, but that's just me.

That all said, the fact that the trailer highlights his parallels to Viren and Claudia not just once, but twice (god bless that "however dangerous, however vile" and another "I would do anything for you") and through Kosmo's 6x06 voice over ("If you ever do dark magic again, the darkness and corruption will overwhelm you") makes it pretty clear that even if it hasn't happened here, it will happen in the season eventually. I don't think i have much to say on this plot beat / characterization that I haven't been saying for, well, the past 4 years, cause if you know, you know! (And I'll probably do a post just screaming about this + the cube later anyway.)

We also have some misc screencaps that could go about anywhere (Terry running, him + Aaravos and Claudia in the woods with the flying primal stone? Seeker or guider?) even if I do think they continually point towards Terry defecting this season.

Conclusion

If I missed any screencaps or you have any questions feel free to send them my way in my askbox! What do you think is going to happen and what are you most excited for this season?

[shadows-flames-and-ink]

Finished Season 1 of Arcane last night, and I can honestly say I will most likely not emotionally recover from this within the foreseeable future.

That being said, I start Season 2 today! Before I do that, I need to rant about... everything? I guess?

Spoilers under the cut

Vi finally gets back to the undercity after the timeskip with Cait, and she tells Cait to flirt in the rooms behind The Last Drop for info, Vi asks "man or woman?" Then Vi's little smirk when she sees her with a woman when she's walking out? Could not have been less subtle, adorable, 10/10 star foreshadowing

Jinx immediately lighting the flare, desperate to see her sister, and the gut-wrenching tension with her reaction to Cait, the Gemstone, the Firelights, Vi's first glimpse of Jinx, Jinx's reaction to losing her sister again? Died inside, loved it

On the subject, Jinx's reaction to Sevika and Silco? Surprised they kept their heads, even more that they lived as long as they did.

The Firelights base, Ekko trash talking Vi, immediately followed by Vi hugging him for how much he's grown. Ekko scared at how quickly she set herself free, then hugging back? Wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry

Viktor? The Hexcore? The running scene? The Hexcore getting cracked and looking like it's breathing after everything with Viktor's blood? The Hexcore Thanos-snapping Sky? Viktor immediately getting sick again, like the Hexcore was punishing him? The parallel of Jayce stopping him from jumping like when Viktor stopped him before the timeskip? Now I'm sad, scared, and confused

Ekko vs. Jinx on the bridge, with flashbacks to their play-fights as kids, then the rewind where Jinx shoots the same way, and Ekko doesn't get hit this time? Implying that he memorized her attack patterns for years?!?

The exploding firelights, a callback to when Jinx was tinkering with one during Progress Day? Jayce and Victor saying the craftsmanship of the one grenade is crude, but showing that she can make detailed and elegant tech, further demonstrating her genius? Absolutely stunning

Mel's mom encouraging war so she can take weapons back to Noxus? And who is this nameless dude she's so scared of?

Vi v. Sevika - awesome sequence, Vi taking a drink halfway through, panning to all the dead Shimmer thugs, Vander's lasting words, RIPPING SEVIKA'S ARM OFF!!! Insane, amazing, perfect fight scene

Jinx post-bridge-bombing, nearly dead and hallucinating Cait and Vi killing her? The Shimmer making her eyes glow purple, making her even scarier? Silco talking to Vander's memorial, the camera panning to a silent Jinx? Cait thinking about Vi, then her mirror being marked with Jinx's calling card? The entire final exchange at the "party;" Jinx shooting the Mylo dummy, the few seconds where it seems like she killed and cooked Cait, asking Vi to choose between killing Cait and getting Powder back, Cait v. Jinx standoff, Jinx killing Silco, the final manipulation, Jinx realizing Vi loves Powder, and she's not Powder anymore. The Council agreeing on peace, and getting bombed? As a member of the PJO fandom, I don't do well with cliffhangers, so believe me when I say I'm terrified

Overall, I haven't stopped mentally screaming for the last 15 hours (I didn't sleep well if you can't already tell), so I am looking forward to see how this show breaks me next

If you're still here, thank you for listening to my rambles. Have a nice day

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 11

(Prev) (Next) (First)

Chapter 3

*Grian's pov*

Boogeyman doesn't trust you yet, you didn't exactly expect him to, but he's letting you into his plans a bit more each day... You might not like it but you can be patient and right now you need to not rush anything.

You keep following him to meetings, apparently having you here has made going out in person quite a bit safer. Being a body guard isn't what you expected but it is entertaining to be scary...

It takes a few days before he asks something different out of upu...Boogeyman needs a distraction... he needs HotGuy to be occupied for a while ...What a perfect opportunity to introduce Mother Spore to him. And for you to see him again you suppose but you don't aknowledge that thought, after all in the end it is a meaningless one.

You don't even need to search for him, the hero is already searching for you it seems...like he's trying to prove something to himself more then anything...how sad.

He's dreading seeing you, you can feel it. You wouldn't kill him of course, Boogeyman told you not to kill the heroes yet and you agreed immediately with that...after all why would you kill someone so entertaining? Hotguy though... Well, he doesn't know that does he?

You would commend his bravery but it's hardly the time for that.

"Stop there!"

And there he is, fell right into the trap, it wasn't that hard to create a trail of "clues" for him to follow and he played his part perfectly.

"Hotguy."

You do not mock his name this time, you prefer to keep that reserved for the more fun and lighthearted Poultryman...

"Well, I'm sure you thought I would never find you!"

Quite the opposite really...but you won't let him know that...let him keep at least a bit id his dignity as the top hero.

"..."

"No response? Fine, I'll make you talk once I capture you!"

"You plan to capture me, do you even know what I am?"

"... Not really "

Of course, you didn't expect him to, you didn't introduce yourself to him after all. You just needed the opening, he doesn't even notice the purple mist that begins to surround him.

"Mother Spore, at your service"

"Mother Spore? That's a-"

Oh... he does notice the mist, perhaps you did not distract him enough. He jumps away from you. Hm, interesting.

"Aha! Your trick failed!"

You clap your hands very slowly as you approach him slowly... he's definitely unsettled.

"Congratulations, how.. impressive"

He takes out his bow... hmpf, he wants a fight? He'll get one.

Hotguy sends an arrow your way, his precision is impressive... Unfortunately for him he's fighting you amd he's at a steep disatvantage... You summon a wall of fungi, the arrow sticks into it.

You surround yourself in spores, you just need him to get too close for a reason or another. As the two of you move to a bigger area you begin to see people looking, recording the scene from their windows.

Hotguy jumps onto a wall, he flies in an arc above you sending a barrage of arrows your way. The first you barely avoid, it creates an ice crystal in the place where it makes contact. You block the second and third with a wall, the first explodes and the second creates a weird green sludge.

You grab the fourth and crush it in your hand. The fifth explodes before nearing you, it opens into a net that encases you... How fun, you don't remember him trying this much to catch Poultryman. Has he been going easy on you... or was he getting more desperate?

Hotguy unsteadly smirks at you, he really thinks you are losing... You play along, he gets closer. Then once he's close enough the mist begins to rot the net around you, Scar doesn't have time to react... He's surrounded by the mist immediately and he begins to wobble on his feet.

You do not bring him to unconciousness however, you weakened the density of spores just enough to leave him only dazed...You receive a message, Boogeyman has done what he needed to do... Time to say goodbye then.

"You aren't going to be able to get up for a while HotGuy"

You grab onto him while he tries and fails to stand on two feet.

"Do not worry"

You caress his face slowly, he's terrified... It doesn't make you feel as giddy as you thought it would...weird.

"We'll see eachother again... I promise".

And with that you're gone, you do make an effort for it to appear like you're retreating... It's far too early for Hotguy to appear this incompetent.

Pout @/Pouty888

Ok, I could understand when it was only Poultryman but what does HotGuy have that makes illegal vigilantes and villains alike so horny?

💬4 ❤️676 🔄21

| Hotguyfan @/HGforevah33 I mean, he IS HotGuy. It's in the name. ||Pout @/Pouty888 Fair enough.

Hotguydaily @/HGupdates

Resident Hero HotGuy has been seen fighting a mysterious mushroom themed supervillain. The villain was forced to flee but HotGuy was soon brought to the hero tower.

💬43 ❤️12K 🔄188

| Tin @/Tinnnnn20 So this new villain is... something. || Wanted @/want95ed3 Mommy. Sorry. Mommy. Sorry. Mommy. |||Tin @/Tinnnnn23 I don't know what I expected.

HotSpore @/shipper6969

Hotguy x Mother Spore enemies to lovers anyone?

💬3 ❤️12 🔄1

|Poultryguy @/shipper4321 Poultryguy is better. ||HotSpore@/shipper6969 Nuh huh. |||Poultryguy @/shipper4321 Yuh huh.

Ufr? @/Forrealthistime2

Here is why I think Hotspore is inherently a problematic ship and everyone who ships it should be ashamed. (1/23)

💬388 ❤️3 🔄145

|Skyblue @/Skyblueness33. You made 23 posts about this buddy?... ||Ufr? @/Forrealthistime2 Yes. Of course, It's very important. |||Transfemswag @/Surroundedbyidiots. Cringe.

Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint. L take. ||What. @/askingteliling23. Why are you STILL here!?!?;?!

Hotguy☑️ @/HGofficial.

I'm not dating any vigilantes or villains! Why does this keep happening!?!?

💬3M ❤️7M 🔄981K

|Poultryguy @/shipper4321 That's what someone who is dating a vigilante would say. ||HotSpore @/shipper6969 Or someone who is dating a villain.

|Lore™☑️ @/Stratosofficial. I didn't want to say anything but this is getting stupid now. Do you even have a PR team? ||Hotguy☑️ @/HGofficial. Yes...?| |||Lore™☑️ @/Stratosofficial. That was supposed to be a joke but now I'm worried you ACTUALLY don't have one. I for one would never have something like this happen to me. |||| Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun. Then why does @/blessedbythesaint call you daddy in public? |||||Lore™☑️ @/Stratosofficial. How about we stop talking.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Skeleton gets arrested and has to ask his brother to pay for his freedom. Who's doing it?

Undertale Sans - He's not too surprised. He's not too surprised either he has to pay for Undyne as well lol. He doesn't even want to know what the hell these two did again. He's going to pay for them, he doesn't mind.

Undertale Papyrus - He's a bit panicking because his brother usually doesn't get into trouble, but when he learns Sans actually pranked a police officer and that the guy took it wrong, he hesitates for one second to let his brother in prison one more hour, just so he learns his lesson.

Underswap Sans - Well luckily he's a police officer and simply frees his brother. He's pretty sure anyway Honey didn't steal anything in that shop, he probably just put something in his pocket and the owner of the shop freaked out because he's a monster.

Underswap Papyrus - ???? But he's a police officer??? Honey is so anxious about this. He goes to pay for his brother, obviously, but he doesn't understand why his brother is even in this situation. You can arrest a police officer?

Underfell Sans - He sighs loudly, but it's already humiliating enough for Edge to ask for his help so he guesses he's going to make an effort. He's not paying for Undyne though, she can rot in hell for all he cares lol.

Underfell Papyrus - To free or not to free his brother, that is the question. Edge pretends he's not home and won't come to fetch his brother before the next day just to teach him a lesson. That's what happens when you drunkenly fight random humans in a bar. Red is not too happy about it but he can't really complain, right?

Horrortale Sans - ????? The hell you mean you arrested his brother? When Oak learns that's all because of a misunderstanding, he's going to be pissed. They let his brother sit in a cell too small for him for hours and now his back is hurting. What is wrong with those humans? Oak is not the biggest fan of police officers.

Horrortale Papyrus - That's not too unusual, as most police officers in town one day found Oak roaming aimlessly in a random part of the town looking lost. But what's new is them arresting him for that, despite Oak trying to explain to them he is disabled and needs help. Willow is going to scream at them and refuses to pay, threatening to sue them all for how bad they treated his brother. Since one big scary monster is not enough, he calls Toriel. Now with two BIG scary monsters in the room, the police officers shyly decide to obey and free Oak.

Swapfell Sans - Hell no, he's not paying. His brother put himself into that mess, he'll find a way out of that mess on his own. Nox has spent his whole life getting his brother out of prison for the stupidest reasons, he's not doing that again. He even tells the police officer to keep him a little longer so he can enjoy his weekend in peace lmao.

Swapfell Papyrus - Oh. Oh, this is his moment. Rus goes to the police station, asks to talk to his brother, then starts dancing at his nose, flipping his middle fingers at him. That's his revenge for all these times he let him spend the night in a cell. Anyway, he hopes Nox has fun because he's not taking him out, he used the money Nox asks him to grab to go to McDonalds. See you in two days, loser. Too bad Nox got so mad he attacked his brother and now they're both in a cell because Rus thought he was so clever by attacking back.

Fellswap Gold Sans - The hell? You think you can arrest his baby brother without any consequences? Wine doesn't pay for his brother's freedom. He explodes the wall of the prison and takes his brother back. Who cares if he gets in trouble. What are you going to do? Arrest him? Good luck with that, he wouldn't like to be the one showing on his door with the audacity of asking him to surrender.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Oh, he says to the police officer that it's fine. He doesn't need to do anything because Wine will escape when he'll get bored. The police officer laughs at him saying he's an idiot if he thinks he's going to let a dangerous criminal escape that easy. That's when Coffee heard "IS THAT MY BROTHER YOU'RE CALLING AN IDIOT?!" with a very angry voice and lot of fighting. Welp. Maybe he should clean the house now, it's clear Wine is coming home in an hour or so.

[white-collar-cannibal]

@glsneeg-enthusiast when i say unedited. well folks many of these sentences are completely unconnected from each other or unfinished. line break with ellipsis for different scenes, ellipses inline for same scene but cut up lines. anyway have a Snack i'm never ever finishing this (it straight up has no plot.)

The first time he met Frank, Sneeg was dying, which was terribly usual. Niki was dead already, having crawled over to lay her head on his lap, and bled out from the throat and the chest and the stomach until she was still. 

[...]

He scoffed a little, and laughed a little, and he said, with half of a smile in his voice, “God.” 

He probably was making an expression of some kind, but Sneeg could not summon the energy or the will to look away from the knuckle of his hand. His face was probably doing the thing where his eyes got too big and he looked very strongly and scarily at something, because he was thinking too much to remember the rules about eye contact and about not staring. It was becoming a problem lately. 

[...]

Everyone made a big deal of Frank having quite a lot of tattoos, but Sneeg very rarely saw them at all. It had only really been one time. [...] It was a bit hard to tell, since it was said mostly for the enjoyment of saying it and not for other people to hear, but he thought it started out, “Motherfucking goddamn piece of shit capitalists can’t pay for air conditioning nasty bastards weren’t making enough already not paying their goddamn workers I swear,” 

With the jacket off, Sneeg could see that each of his arms were marked over with drawings which ran the gamut from crude drawings of various small animals and sigils and skulls, the lines bleeding out into the surrounding skin in inky aurora, to the fine scales of what seemed a very well done snake, which wrapped the circumference of a heavy arm before disappearing up the sleeve of the shirt.

Sneeg looked away a bit quickly — the back of his neck felt hot and red and embarrassed — but then Niki was looking at *him*, first with no expression at all, then at seeing him returning eye contact, she pinched her lips together slightly, and raised both eyebrows together in a movement that could have been categorized on the scale of glaciers. Her eyes, nearly gray as slate rock in the corridor dimness, were rimed with humor. Sneeg tried to pinch his eyebrows together in the same kind of miniature, dollhouse expression, to say *What? Huh?*, but all Niki did in return was a kind of U-turn of the eyebrows, up and down, back into her resting *a bit pissed off* aspect, and opened her hand outwards so that Sneeg could see the inside of her palm, then closed it again. 

From beside them, a thick voice said, “If you two have developed telepathy without me, I��m going to be so pissed.” The two withered slightly, like they had been caught eating worms or something equally difficult to explain, at the reminder that Frank was, in fact, still in the room with them. 

Niki blinked once. “Too late. We’ve already synched our mental illness frequencies.” Then she added, “*And* our cycles.”

Frank gave her a perfect jigsaw-puzzle smile, and went back to tying the jacket about his waist, which was good since Sneeg felt he might simply explode if anyone else acknowledged that he existed at the moment.

[...]

They sat in triangles, but when they walked Sneeg and Niki would stand on either side of Frank, which was half borne from respect and half to make sure that someone could always help him if his bad leg acted up again. He was always the center of both their orbits, because he was the only one who remembered anything.

Frank remembered because Austin remembered, and they had been Taken at the same time. Niki and Ethan remembered very little, and Sneeg and Charlie remembered nothing at all. He tried to hide this at first, but there was only so far you could really get with knowing when to nod your head, and when to go *mhmm* and *wow* conversationally before people started to notice that you did not know at all what they were talking about.

[...]

Niki liked *right hand* and *second-in-command* much more than she had liked *pumpkin*, but she still tolerated *string cheese* most days. When she was doing very badly, she would sit next to Frank, and lean her head on his shoulder, and he would put his arm around her, or in her hair, and go, *Aww, Kalashnikova, grenade, my favorite landmine, you’re okay* and she would feel better, even if it embarrassed her a bit afterwards. 

Sneeg loved *pumpkin* very much, and he extended the same affection to each and every other term his friends deigned upon him — even the ones in different languages, because he could trust that they meant something good and nice, and that was such a great relief.

Niki only ever called the two of them their names, or *boss*, which Frank had resented at first, but she said “If everyone calls everyone else boss, then it’s good and communist again,” and he relented. Sneeg had not processed enough about communism to argue, even though her maths didn’t seem to add up.

Frank talked a lot about communism, and Niki listened intently, but unless he was willing to sit down and really think about it, and interrupt way too often by asking about what *capital* was again, or *landlord*, or *materialism,* all Sneeg really got out of it was to hear the sound of Frank’s voice. It was a good voice though, which sounded a bit like he had eaten gravel, which was from the smoking, and forgot often that there were R’s in words, which was from the being raised in New York, so it was not a bad deal at all. 

All of Frank’s characters smoked, because Showfall thought it looked cool, so he did too. He’d toughed it out for two entire months, but they were still making him on set, so he couldn’t actually quit and then he got a migraine so bad he was worried he was going to go blind, and gave up.

“It’s not like they’re gonna let me get *lung cancer,*” he said, “I’m an *asset.*” He only did it once or twice a day, unless something exceptionally bad had happened, and Niki always took the opportunity to step away for five minutes, because the smell was intolerable to her, and look over her map, or lay on the ground like a starfish, and do her breathing exercises. She came up with long, prime number in-hold-out-hold sequences, because she had to be thinking about something at all times or she’d lose it. She said there was never any empty space in her mind, and if she didn’t fill it with something, the horrors would start crawling out of the little boxes she’d put them in.

Neither of them ever touched Niki without her asking anymore, since Frank had tapped her on the shoulder in passing and she worked herself up into such a fit that she spat up blood. 

Niki knew perfectly how to ask, though. She would tilt her head, very lightly, so the long strands of her uncut hair — often brown, sometimes blonde, rarely another color — would fall over her face, and either of the two could see this, and know to take the side of her head in their hand and to kiss the edge where the hair began on the forehead. 

[...]

Sneeg knew which of the cameras worked, and which didn’t, and which you could pass by if you walked by them at a calm pace with your face turned away, and he knew when the break rooms were full, and when you could pass through certain alley-paths. He had spent his entire childhood learning this, and now it made up for the fact that he was dreadfully, interminably, fucking stupid.

Sneeg did not know most of what an adult person was supposed to, on account of the everything, and he hadn’t even known it until he had began talking to the two of them. 

[...]

Frank and Niki were both pretty, but in different ways, like how a pretty painting might look nothing like a pretty tea kettle. No one else thought so, but Sneeg knew Frank was pretty. Showfall didn’t think so, because they only ever made him a side character, and none of those side characters ever had anyone kiss them. Austin said that he looked like a mobster, and Charlie had said that Frank had the face of a bulldog that had been at the business end of a sledgehammer, and Niki only said that he had a face that was perfectly adequate since it did all the things it needed to, but she was secretly jealous of him. 

Sneeg had eyes that worked though, and Frank had a face that was very nice to look at, with a big, crooked nose, and a lot of thin lines around the eyes and the mouth, and very interesting teeth. Everyone else only ever had teeth like white plastic ice trays, but his seemed to be arguing with each other about which should be where, in a way that made you want to put your hand in his mouth to figure out exactly what was going on three-dimensionally. 

[...] Her face did not find itself naturally upset, which made her near-permanent furrowed brow and curled lip intentional, a prolonged muscle contraction in service of worry and fury and disgust.

Everyone knew Niki was pretty. She loathed it. She treated pretty like an unfortunate congenital condition she was afflicted with, and only ever talked about other people in flat, neutral terms, like an anatomist. This hatred was not entirely unjustified, because Showfall loved you more if they thought you were pretty, and they cast you as love interests and romcom protagonists.

[...]

She had, nearly instantly, been sick on the tile.

He put his hand out, flat, eye-level, and she bit into where the meat of his thumb met the meat of his palm so hard she drew blood. The metacarpal made a bad noise, and she shook her head, side to side, very quickly, with instinctual zeal, and then let go. 

“Why did you do that?” she had asked, after a moment, and “Why did it *work?*” [...] She was worrying at her arm, and said, “Just tell me if it gets worse. I can live with this, just tell me if it’s going to get worse.”

“It’s not going to get worse. You know how they are with this.”

“You promise? On your life, you promise?”

“On my life, I’ve never seen them do worse, on set or in any of the tapes.” It had made her feel a little bit better, but not much.

[...] , and all she would say was “It’s *my* skin. It’s *my *fucking* skin.*”

[...]

...and, graciously, Niki had said, “Oh God, what’s *butch* again? It’s fallen out of my brain completely,” which was the euphemism she preferred for it.

Frank said, “Masc. Masculine. Like a guy.” and that was such an idea that Niki lit up, immediately. 

[...]

He’d found her once sitting at the edge of an unused fountain, staring into the green and chemical water.

“I got startled the first time they put a mirror on set,” she said, in lieu of a conversation opener, “I couldn’t recognize that it was me.”

He did not know how to answer this, and so didn’t, and in the silence, she turned, and went “When you get out, are you going to try and find your family? Your old family?”

“It would be nicer, neater, I think, if they just thought I died. If I didn’t have to tell them what I’d actually become.”

“You think letting them believe their kid got abducted and murdered is the best idea?”

“Probably. I mean, it’s been years, they’ve gotta be at least a little adjusted to it. The dead kid’s a better story than the miserable adult.” and then, “And why’d you ask? You’ve been thinking about it?”

“Yeah, well.” “Your family has to get that you’re not the seven-year-old they lost, like, in the slightest. But I was like, a *person* when they took me, no offense, and they’ll want me to be that.”

“Sometimes, all I can muster is *I just want to die where they can’t find me*. But I don’t really want to *die*, you know? I just don’t think I know how to live.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“I just. I just can’t see it. Me. Having a real, actual life.”

“Then take it on faith. In yourself. In your own continuity.” and then, “You really don’t have to have it yet. Lord knows I don’t— Nick, I don’t remember what the Sun looks like, I have zero clue what I’m going to do. But I’ll find out, you know? I trust my future.”

“Just like that? Has anything good *ever* happened in your life?”

Sneeg thought a bit. “I used to have a dad. That was good. And I met you two, didn’t I?”

[...]

Niki wanted to be his sister very badly, but Sneeg couldn’t do that to anyone else.

[...]

Frank had called him a masochist, and Sneeg had to ask what it meant.

“Somebody who likes getting hurt,” Frank said, and then, in the interest of diligence, “Sometimes it’s a sex thing.” 

If Showfall was prudish otherwise, they were down-right puritanical when it came to sex things, so they always had to specify, even though Sneeg could catch a crass joke with 80% accuracy now, and could make one that was legible if the opportunity presented itself. It had been very embarrassing for all of them at first, but just like every other thing he was supposed to know and didn’t, Frank and Niki had gotten used to explaining things in clear, unfazed terms, and to pretend like it was fine that he didn’t know.

This was probably the best blessing of the manifold blessings that Niki and Frank had granted him: the simple fact that they had gotten quickly over that he did not know shit about fuck, and they explained things to him like he was an equal, instead of a kicked dog following them around. 

[...]

“Written messages. Very good sign” he had said, at about the second or third note they found “Means they’re not having regular meetings. Or casual meetings.”

“Not *that* good.” Niki said, “The ones in the masks have always been the big issue. Doesn’t really matter whether the real ones are walking around.”

“Yeah, right, but it means they’re not *talking.* Less minor information getting through, more arguments. More confusion.”

[...]

“- and, well, Marx thought,” and Sneeg wanted to groan, because Marx never thought anything that did not require at least fifteen minutes of explanation to understand.

[whirling-fangs]

He didn't not believe for one second that the foolish human's plan would work. The Lord of all demons wouldn't be so simply lured by wet food and a few clicks of the tongue. Nobody beckoned her, nobody controlled her, nobody told her what to do or what to say.

She would hiss, perhaps, or probably ignore the offerings and turn away from this idiot. She would ignore him as well, of course, but that was necessary. That was his punishment, after all.

Kiba curled up down in the bag, waiting for this whole pointless act to be over. His ears twitched, the motion he had felt soon followed by a gasp from the human's lips.

"MEOW!"

Something had just landed right onto him, clawed paws sinking into his small stomach. The kitten weaseled out and retreated to a corner of the bag, fur standing on end, back arched to make himself look all the more imposing before the intruder.

The new meow was one of utter surprise. She had leapt right in! She'd given the human what she wanted!

"Awww..." The human cooed, gathering the offered food back into a box for a later meal. "Did you recognize your little one in there? You want to be with him, don't you?"

If her heart had already been melting before, it was a proper puddle now. Her face appeared above the bag, gently sealing it shut before she shouldered it once more, her motions calm and so slow that the bag hardly jostled at all. She was carrying not one, but two precious companions now!

Oh, how the internet would explode at the sight of them both!

Kiba calmed down the instant he saw those crimson eyes peer at him amidst the darkness. He cast her an inquisitive glance, wondering just what sort of plan she had. Did she realize that this girl wouldn't let her get away with just napping in a corner? Did she realize what she had just walked into – a life of show, of performing little tricks and earning treats, all for the amusement of thousands of humans trapped into rectangle machines?

This was highly amusing.

Nothing more than pure and utter chaos that was there, what she had, was nothing short of a pure and utter killing machine that could and would, slaughter her, and everyone in the area, in seconds flat and there was nothing that she or anyone could do, even if they tried to fight back, what would be the point.

Not like they could harm him, hurt him, do a single thing to him at all, as he was paraded around like a highly sought after collectable, even if out of the packaging, it was still worth a fortune and he was, seems humans can make money of these apps and streaming videos, and he was a hit, again, it was all highly amusing to her.

All the while she had been watching, lazily, laying down and watching what had happened to him, he asked for it, he got what he asked for and then some, and it was all with a smile and a laugh, as she took her time to rest, away from the city and the issues, oh make no mistake, she will go back, and he will as well.

She was going to kill her rivals, he was going to be the one to do it for her, he would hunt them all down and end them, but for now, she needed to lay low, him as well, she could not risk his head being cut off by his foolish pride, all her blood and investment in him, gone and she would have to start again, over a hundred years of work gone if he perished, best to keep him under her gaze as he was needed, as she felt that, if she died, he would be worthy enough to overtake her, and she could live on, in another way and cheat death once more.

Watching the human come closer and closer, and lay down an offering, as she held her nose up at it, as she casually walked over to the human, without a care in the world or any sense of fear, to the bag that was opened and all she did was jump into it easily, no one cornered her, no one bribed her, no one captured her, she did what she wished, when she wished, how she wished, without anyone getting in the way, as she landed in the bag with him then, there.

The human had two now, as she wished to see where this was going, for her own amusement, besides, whatever the human was going to earn from this, the wealth and anything else she got, she was going to take it from her anyway, there was no way around that, this human, was on a time frame and when she ran out of usage, she would let him, devour her, alive.

[0xeyedaisy]

Some unfortunate fellas

[kingly-court]

I’m legitimately gonna explode if I don’t find someone else who understand the background tragedy of the Gleeful Family in Gravity falls.

[perenlop]

havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin “got off too easy” at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrin’s ending was poorly written.

[qlala]

so i think the best way to do a coldflash au of the greatest musical of our time, mamma mia, would be—yes i’m aware it’s 3 a.m., why do you ask—

anyway, the best way to do it would be like, a morbid dark comedy take on it where barry’s not trying to find his father, he’s trying to find the person who framed his father. for his mother’s murder. so he’s like ‘okay i’ve reviewed all the case notes, and i’ve narrowed it down to these three men. also, unrelated, iris and eddie, you don’t mind if i invite three people to your wedding last-minute, right?’

and the three men can be like, harrison wells, eobard thawne, and of course, leonard snart

and barry has sophie’s protagonist attitude of “i’ll just know which one it is when i see him,” except obviously, he doesn’t. harrison wells is an asshole, eobard thawne is a creepy asshole, and leonard snart is… flirting with him?

(i have zero notes on the “does your mother know that you’re out” scene from the mamma mia! movie. just do that again, but angrier, because barry isn’t sure if len is taunting him over his mother’s death or just poking fun at their age gap. but it should be exactly as horny)

len would be the first to catch on to what’s going on, because he knows doc allen from iron heights and puts it together, and he would be impressed at what a ballsy idea it was if he wasn’t too busy being mad at barry for what a stupid fucking idea it was instead, inviting the man who killed his mother to a wedding he’s in, to what? give him a shot at slitting barry’s throat in his sleep next?

if that happens, iris will probably cancel this wedding that len fully intends on crashing, so naturally his only option is to follow around iris’s very stupid, very cute best man for the next three days, just to keep him from getting murdered by whichever of the other two men did kill his mother. and, since that includes the previously-mentioned threat of barry getting killed in his sleep, well… he’ll just have to talk his way into barry’s bed so he can keep an eye on him overnight, too

[orcelito]

Ok I'm thinking about kabuto backstory again and thinking about how unfair and fucked up it all is like

> be Danzo

> threaten local orphanage mother into returning to being a spy (by threatening the kids there)

> force them to send One Kid too because he "lost a man" while obtaining the intel he's threatening her to spy over (the kid is Kabuto, who volunteered bc he overheard them threatening the mother over this) (Danzo knows he overheard)

> train kabuto to be a spy while orphanage mother is off on her long spy job as well

> bait spy mom with the promise of keeping kabuto safe to keep her agreeing to work with you

> decide they both are too good at their jobs (????) Of being spies (that work for you?????)(they've been loyal this whole time????) So they're too dangerous and both need to die

> keep mom and kid away from each other as kid grows up

> literally DOCTOR FAKE PHOTOS of the kid growing up to make it seem like he looks totally different now???? So she won't recognize him?????

> give her the assassination assignment of killing the Real Kabuto (who she won't recognize) so they'll kill each other

> whoops, Kabuto survived and killed her instead, oh well at least Orochimaru's watching him now

I'm just like. How fucked up is it to threaten these people into working as spies for you "for the good of Konoha", and then decide that these people (who have given NO INDICATION of intending to betray Konoha) are too good at being spies and thus Too Dangerous and should be killed for it. But no he can't just kill them in a normal way. He had to manufacture an entire scenario so that they'd kill EACH OTHER while making the mom not recognize him (with the express purpose of breaking the kid's spirit) like BROOOOOO I know you ordered the whole Uchiha clan to be massacred (conducting genocide for the sake of 'peace') actually now that I think about it he ordered this of itachi. Ordered him to kill his own family. Of course Danzo would get off on making a mother and son kill each other "for the good of Konoha" he's almost fucking cartoon villain level of horrible past the point of logic EXCEPT there really are people this awful that have existed. Plenty of them. And they have also justified it as being "for the good of [nation]" like that's the Thing, he's a war hungry nationalist that has decided He Knows Best so he's going to fuck up SO many people's lives, up to and including his own damn citizens!!!! And this bitch thinks he deserves to be kage?!?!?! Fucking Hiruzen letting him run wild like this. He knew Danzo was stealing children and indoctrinating them into a murder cult (where, keep in mind, he purposefully raises kids in pairs so they view each other as family AND THEN ORDERS THEM TO KILL EACH OTHER)(AGAIN!!!! with the family killing, what is his PROBLEM) but Hiruzen just let it fucking happen. Spineless fucking piece of shit. He fucked Naruto up he fucked Orochimaru up he fucked up Royally with Danzo like come ONNNNNNNNNN

Rattling the bars of my cage rn at how awful Danzo is and how he was able to just. DO THIS???? I know the bitch is dead but he's not dead enough. Give me the glock.

[lesbiangiratina]

Need to fix my cringe fail visual memory problems so i can learn more japanese and write an essay on testament’s gender. I will use those 2 new abilities for no other purpose. I dont need to do anything else.

[sidesteppostinghours]

6, 11, and 19- UHHHHHH any of them that vibes these questions! <:"Dc

afternoon lori!! thank you for the ask :D

6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

Caine-

taking advice: chen. without a doubt its chen. caine would question him or argue if they dont understand why hes giving the advice he does, but at the end of the day, he trusts that chen has his reasons, and that those reasons make sense.

refusing advice: hmmm,,, significantly harder to answer tbh. caine is pretty accepting of a lot of avenues of information. maybe hollow ground? so far hes been extremely suspicious of the kingpin, Especially after almost getting threaded. either that or regina, but would she even survive long enough to give them advice???? shes the only person so far they actually want revenge against.

Cyrus-

taking advice: anathema. too bad hes dead. nobody to stop cyrus now.

refusing advice: id say chen, purely for "fuck him, he wouldnt piss on me if i was burning" reasons. hed be way too suspicious of any 'advice' chen gives to act on it.

Cecilia-

taking advice: ceci doesnt exactly do advice. more like suggestions. most of them come from ortega, not because she particularly trusts him but because most of his suggestions tend to be fun. ofc she also turned down therapy so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

refusing advice: daniel. for extremely petty reasons. even deciding to stay at his place was an idea she came up with, not him. danny has no Idea how much of a pain shes going to be now that theyre rooming together.

Cynthia-

taking advice: hollow ground. #justthreadedtingz😍🤪

refusing advice: the funny thing about cynthia is that she cares for the people shes close to, she just doesnt trust them, so this applies to a lot of people. definitely ortega because thats probably the messiest divorce i ever did see, but also dr mortum, because she doesnt think she would understand the situation shes in enough to give advice even if their relationship Doesnt completely fall apart when the puppet thing is revealed.

11. They’ve won the lottery. Spend, or save?

Caine- nothing really to spend it on. save, unless theres something he really wants to get his hands on.

Cyrus- could be useful in the future. save.

Cecilia- depends, does she still have her funds from thievery? if no, spend. if yes, pretend to spend it by showing off things she already owns to throw people off her track, then save it. or spend if theres something mundane she wants.

Cynthia- doesnt really like having big sums of money lying around. spend it on villain work.

19. Do they study before tests? Practice before job interviews?

Caine- i mean. does going into a rabbit hole of tangentially relevant information a week before count? not for job interviews though. they couldnt care enough about that.

Cyrus- duh. hes the person somebody would go to if they need notes or extra tutoring.

Cecilia- no, but if she cared about tests enough shed be a top student, and she usually manages to fly by on job interviews because shes pretty charming.

Cynthia- yes, but for school its because the subjects are interesting to her, while the job interview is for general "i want to get the job" reasons.

questions from here!

[din-dadrin]

do you ever think about how din has had to cultivate a placidity so calm and cold it could dip into implacability with how little he's moved by practically anything to practically anyone who doesn't know him for so long that it's not just a second skin so much as it is something embedded, how it enhances his capacity to be hunter and hunted, how it's a point of practicality as much as personality; do you ever think about how din has a natural well of in-the-moment reactivity that he is never framed to need to bury beneath himself despite that placidity, how it enhances his capabilities as hunter and hunted as someone who can and is willing to adapt on the dime, how it too is a point of practicality as much as personality; do you ever think about how these built-innate things about him hone him so well for all the things that come with being a good bounty hunter but even more importantly, a good provider, and at first it's simply for his covert but then it's for his son

do you ever think about how that placidity translates into patience and how that reactivity translates into sensitivity, how from the outset of his care, he is gentle in a way he actively amends and decides to be and it's enough, and he is steadfast as he has forged himself to be and it's more than enough; do you ever think about how from the outset of his care, he treats grogu in a manner that isn't completely at odds with what we see of him in glimpses with others but is still obviously, blaringly different from his usual because he understands, instinctively, that this kid in his care is fragile — in a general "this is a baby" way, and a darker "this is a neglected/abused kid" way — and is on some subconscious-deeply-affecting-the-conscious level reacting to that

do you ever think about how this growth emerged and how it's cataclysmic growth not cataclysmic change, because it's not a case of mutually exclusive with din. do you ever think about how for all his other faults, grogu belonging with him more than he does with anyone else and din belonging with grogu more than he does with anyone else half-developed from some of these fundamental things about him, the ones that make him so good at providing, in all the hard and soft ways that entails. do you ever think about how some of the things that make din din, the things that make him so primed and perfect for duty, also make him so primed and perfect for love