#Old JY Collection
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The Softie
She stares up at the ceiling
Then looks at the clouds outside
Complex eyes drift to the Moon
And back to the clouds again
Pondering, wondering if . . .
Feet padded to the window
Eyes followed the moving clouds
Clouds moving out of her view
Calming cycle, isn't it?
Been some time since she saw them
Much less confided in them
Hidden words drift to the clouds
Carried above everyone
Never falling unto ears
Like the clouds once promised her
On the very day she fell
When they descended from high
Just to check on little her
#spilled ink#poetic#poem#poetry#original poem#poems and poetry#poems on tumblr#spilled poetry#long poem#my poetry#poets on tumblr#writers and poets#poems#poem by me#poet#poetry corner#spilled words#spilled thoughts#words words words#words#my words#beautiful words#poems and quotes#poem and poetry#Old JY Collection#and i wonder if he ever felt this way
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I’d like to (finally) talk about this interview with Mark Thompson, Narrative Director on Far Cry 4:
youtube
I love it when devs talk about their work because it’s always super interesting and informative! This video is no exception.
But what struck me most when I first saw the interview is what he says about Far Cry 3, a title he also worked on as a Level Design Director, which I believe means he was not (or barely) involved in the writing of the script. When he mentions what he thinks the issues with the game were and what had to be “fixed” in Far Cry 4, the thing is that... he often contradicts what Jeffrey Yohalem, Lead Writer on Far Cry 3, explained in various articles.
Under the cut, I highlighted some parts of Mark Thompson’s interview (in red) and compared them to Jeffrey Yohalem’s words (in blue, with the sources) so you can see how different their points of view are.
In this case, when it comes to the story and meaning of Far Cry 3, I’m inclined to give more credence to the Lead Writer’s explanations, but I think this example perfectly illustrates how even people who worked on the same project can have very different (and sometimes equally valid) opinions, understandings, and feelings about it, and why it can therefore be difficult for the audience to determine what the “truth” or the “right” interpretation is…
Open world vs story
MT: We ended up shipping a game where the open world had a lot of cool stuff, but it didn’t have a lot of depth or meaning, and it had almost no connection to what was happening in the story. And in fact, in some ways, the two were kind of opposed and they were kind of conflicting each other. So, on one hand, the story itself had this ticking time bomb of “I have these friends that I need to rescue, but holy sh*t, collecting plants, finding that next animal I need for the next upgrade, getting that next skill point… Oh, look, there’s a radio tower! Wait, wasn’t I heading to that outpost?” And then you’re like, “Oh yeah, sh*t, my friend Keith’s trapped in the basement, I should probably go rescue him… I’m a terrible friend.” That was my main goal: fix this sh*t and make sure that the story and the open world speak to each other, complement each other; strip everything down so that the story and the open world are the same thing and it’s the same game.
JY: People who have looked at the surface of the game think that the story and the game are at war with each other as they are in most games, with the story just plugging potholes and the gameplay is going along its merry way. I think it’s very exaggerated that, “Oh, go save the friends! Go save the friends!” but most people are out on the island doing all this other crazy stuff and experiencing the gameplay. And that’s actually the point of the story. It’s not a game about go save your friends. It’s a game about – doing a lot of picking skins from things, and wait, it’s just a pile of meat – this doesn’t even make sense, yet I’m still doing it instead of saving the friends. (Rock Paper Shotgun - Dec. 19, 2012)
The “white savior” trope
MT: We were definitely aware of some of the tropes that we fell into - unintentionally in some cases, intentionally in some - and (…) almost the first thing that we did was decide how we were gonna address the white savior trope, the outsider who comes in and helps simple people with his outsider’s kind of more advanced understanding of the world. (...) The first thing we said was, “This guy is from Kyrat, no matter what happens. That is the most important thing; he is part of this world, he belongs here.”
JY: “It’s a first-person game, and Jason is a 25-year old white guy from Los Angeles. From Hollywood. So his view of what’s going on on this island is his own view, and you happen to be looking through his eyes, so you’re seeing his view,” Yohalem explained. “It’s set on an island in the South Pacific, so immediately the thing that comes to mind is the white colonial trope, the Avatar trope. I started with that, and it’s like, ‘Here’s what pop culture thinks about traveling to a new place,’ and the funny thing is, that’s an exaggeration of most games, they just don’t expose it. (The Penny Arcade Report - Dec. 17, 2012)
JY: There’s a reason why Jason is a 25 year old white guy from Hollywood – these are all ideas that are in his head. You’re seeing things through his eyes. (...) It’s not that [Citra] needed a white saviour at all. She didn’t need a white guy at all. She was just looking for the ultimate warrior and someone to be her gun. (...) If this was about the white messiah motif, would I be so stupid as to have a main character’s nickname be Snow White? I’m making fun of that! (Rock Paper Shotgun - Dec. 19, 2012)
The player and the protagonist
MT: When we were doing the script review, almost immediately, the first thing we would do would be, “Okay, so how many lines does Ajay have? Okay, cut that by 75%”, and then we would review it and then cut out even more. Whenever possible, we would set up a scenario where we know or we think we know how players would react, and so we would remove the line that the character would actually say and then have the other person react to it. “Oh, you think that, do you?” - in that kind of way, so they’re like, “Oh f*ck, how did he know I was gonna say that?” Whereas, if the protagonist said that line, they’re like, “Oof, I wouldn’t have said that”, and then suddenly you’re kind of broken out of the experience. (…) When you’re in first-person, all you hear is this disconnected voice that might not be agreeing with what you’re doing. So, again, it’s just about stripping away those barriers of immersion so you can imagine yourself in this scenario.
JY: In Far Cry 3, Jason is a character and he’s not the player. The player is another character in the game. Sometimes Jason disagrees with the player, and sometimes Jason agrees with him. And the magic of that is that then it doesn’t matter! Basically, as long as the whole narrative is directed towards what the player is feeling—which for me is how videogames should be—then I get to target Jason as a resource where players can go: “I disagree with Jason.” And the player gets to convince Jason to do something else. So instead of trying to force the two of them together, I’ve decoupled them. (Killscreen - Dec. 12, 2012)
#it’s almost funny#this also explains why inconsistencies happen so easily I guess#game devs please communicate more#far cry 4#mark thompson#far cry 3#jeffrey yohalem#and so that’s the reason you have to be very careful to ask the 'right' people when you want information about a game#no offense to community managers or people who work at customer service for example#but when people say they contacted them for lore-related questions I’m like…#I mean okay they work at ubi but I really don’t think they’re the best placed to give you accurate answers#if even a level design director isn’t on the same page as the lead writer why would people who didn’t even work on the game be?#as always official ≠ canon#poor jeffrey nobody understood what he tried to say :’)
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Tallulah hummed a melody that wouldn't be familiar to most people here, her love for South Africa would always be rooted in her, be it in the country, the language or the music; she'd always carry it with her, no matter where she went. This reminded her - she'd totally forgot to grab the old radio that still sat collecting dust in one of the crates. The thing had gone through so many years of existence, of being beat around, of smelling and looking green, the radio was so old it even contained an antenna.
Fixing up the bouquet of flowers she'd been working on as she put it in a pretty vase for show, she pulled a face clearly for Adrian to see. ''You won't scare me! Vampires don't exist, Adrian! Just like witches, no matter how much I'd like for them and for magic to be real, there's no such thing in the real world.'' It was why she read so many books, why she sought those happy fantasies in television and in her imagination.
Sarcasm coated her voice as she hit him with the; ''ha-ha, jy is so snaaks!'' at his pornography comment, which translated into 'ha-ha, you're so funny!' Taking the radio out now, the redhead liked to inform further on the matter, ''for the record, there's a...rather explicit store not far from the library where they sell such things! So I wouldn't need to go to a bookstore for that!'' Though explaining herself with a quick follow-up, ''....not that I would go to that store, not unless someone dumps very graphic stuff at our counter and thinks we would give that stuff out at the library.''
“Yes, yes, you did say so,” there's fondness hidden beneath his mock grumbling, a fond smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he watches his niece work the flowers with the hands of a professional. He is terribly glad she is here with him now, instead of out there with her parents who Adrian isn't the most fond of. Not anymore. He lets her do all of the work despite his affection, for he is old and sipping stale lukewarm coffee from a plastic cup. The morning is beautiful, but Adrian knows it might not be like this all day. He just hopes they get to have a good sales morning. “Most of the night, eh?” He is leaning on one of the backtables, half seated, watching her carefully with kind eyes. “Maybe it's owned by a vampire,” the deep and scary voice he uses is for her entertainment, hoping she doesn't catch the true worry in his tone. He giggles after, for good measure. “Why would a bookstore need to stay open late in the night? Do they sell pornography?”
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Pancake Wars
Fandom: Ikemen Vampire
Pairings: Theo van Gogh x reader
Genre: Slice o life
Warnings: Mild swearing plus shenanigans
Words: 1650
Comments: So obviously I'm new to these prompts so forgive me if it sucks(˶◕‿◕˶✿) Also sorry to all the Dutch people for butchering the language! 🥺😳Lol also just had to throw in some Afrikaans!😏😏😏 Also props to Nemo for the cute endearment❤❤, hehe it's legit my fav, much much better than hondjie if you ask me🙌😳! Hehe so I am hella excited for Theo’s route, and I just had to participate in this Theo route countdown! Thanks, @delicateikemenmemes for setting up this fun lil party hehe so it goes without saying I am posting this as part of the #Theo Route Countdown Party! Whoop whoop so without further ado....... my interpretation of the prompt Theo and Pancakes
。.*:・’゚:。.*:゚・’゚゚:。’ .*:・’゚:。.*:゚・’゚゚:。’・゚。.*:・’゚: 。.*:・’゚:。.*:゚・’゚゚:。’ .*:・’゚:。.*:゚
The pitter-patter of tiny feet could be heard running through the hallways early on one summer's morning. The large front door of the mansion swung open to reveal an angelic little girl with long blond golden locks and ocean blue eyes.
The determined little girl went running through the mansion’s garden barefooted as she jumped over the wooden fence, making her way through a familiar forest with an excited golden retriever in tow.
Her eyes lit up in delight when she had spotted two familiar silhouettes in the distance. She ran towards the two men as fast as her tiny legs could carry her, hoping to make it to the top of the hill in time. The sun had yet to make its way over the horizon to mark the new day, and the little girl was determined to watch the sunrise with her favourite uncle.
She wore a broad smile as she finally neared the two tall figures.
“Daddy!” the girl exclaimed as she launched herself straight into Theo’s arms, sending him tumbling backwards. Theo had no time to even recover from the blow as soon a fully grown golden retriever jumped up to greet his beloved master, sending the father-daughter pair tumbling backwards onto the soft patch of flowers beneath. “Oi popje, wat doe je hier buiten?” although his tone was stern he was wearing one of his rare smiles.
The little girl pouted and crossed her arms with a huff, “You promised we could make pancakes for mommy today.” Theo’s smile turned into an amused smirk as he ruffled his daughter's hair and draped his coat over her tiny shoulders, “Did I now.”
Sending her father a disgruntled look, she put her hands on her hips as she sent him a challenging gaze, “Ja, jy het belowe.”
Theo rolled his eyes at his daughter, as she spoke Afrikaans to him. His daughter had a talent for picking up languages rather quickly, being able to speak at least six different languages, thanks to all the residents. He also knew that she would only speak Afrikaans to him, just as a way to get under his skin, something she had picked up from his beloved wife.
The sun finally came peeking up from the horizon, and with a satisfied smile, the older van Gogh brother put down his paintbrush and stretched his arms above his head. That is when he spotted his favourite little niece. He crouched down and opened his arms as he sent the little girl a smile that could only be described as brighter than the sun itself.
The little girl wasted no time in flinging herself into Vincent's arms, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. “Goedemorgen, Kleine zonnebloem! Shouldn't you still be in bed this early,”
Vincent's eyes were laced with concern as he looked at the little girl questioningly.
She shot her dad a threatening glare before turning her attention back to Vincent, wearing a soft smile, “Daddy promised to make pancakes with me this morning before mommy wakes up.”
Vincent's eyes lit up in excitement as he tickled her sides, sending her into a fit of giggles, “Oh that's wonderful I'm sure your mother will be so happy to receive such a thoughtful surprise.”
She beamed up at the older van Gogh and tightened her arms around his neck, “Plus I wanted to watch the sunrise with you.”
Angelic smile never faltering, Vincent held the girl in his arms as he turned to watch the sun coming up, "Well then let's not waste another moment.”
Once the sun had fully risen above the mountain top, he gently put the little girl back down onto the soft grass, and clasped her small little hands in his, “That was fun, shall we do it again tomorrow. That way, you can be the first to see my painting when it's done.”
Not even thinking twice about the offer she excitingly jumped up and down wearing a big grin, “Yes please!”
Vincent and Theo quickly packed up the art supplies as the little girl played in the field with King. “Hey popje, we are leaving! You better hurry up, unless you want to be left behind.” Upon hearing her father’s voice bellowing in the distance, she quickly hiked up her nightgown and excitedly ran to Theo’s side.
Smiling she carefully took hold of her father’s hand as they leisurely walked back to the mansion.
Once back, Vincent had disappeared to his room to continue painting while Theo, and his tiny daughter made their way to the kitchens to start on the meal.
The little girl put on an oversized apron and stepped up onto the step ladder beside her dad, to start on the batter. Having inherited Theo’s love for sweets, the child already knew the pancake recipe by heart.
Despite her angelic appearance, she had also inherited her dad's sharp tongue and stubborn attitude. She bossed her dad around the kitchen, instructing him to collect the various ingredients needed to make the sugary treat. With a satisfied nod at the different ingredients and equipment placed before her, she began to make the batter.
She dumped out the flour into the large bowl in front of her with a big puff. Theo burst into laughter as the little one was now covered from head to toe in the white dust. She wore a displeased scowl as her father laughed and teased her dubbing her the ‘spookje’ of the kitchen.
But soon girls scowl morphed into a mischievous smirk as she decided to enact her revenge. She picked up a small handful of flour and launched it straight into Theo’s face as he continued to chuckle.
The second the flour puffed into his face, the little girl let out a triumphant giggle as Theo was left staring after her, flabbergasted. “Why you little,” he picked up his own hand full of flour and playfully threw it in his daughter's direction.
It was now an all-out war. Flour was flying across the kitchen, covering everything in sight as the pair laughed and teased the other. Once the bag of flour was empty, Theo ran over to his daughter and picked her up, tickling her as he threw her up into the air.
She squealed and laughed, refusing to give her dad the satisfaction of winning the playful battle, as she tried her hardest to tickle him back.
Soon the laughter died down as both of them caught their breath, remembering the reason they were in the kitchen in the first place.
“Geez, daddy! Can you stop distracting me, I'm trying to make pancakes here,” her tone was dripping with sarcasm as she sent her dad a wide smirk. Theo shook his head and smiled as he moved to heat up the pan.
The little girl carefully broke a few eggs into the bowl followed by a splash of milk, and finally the secret ingredient….. 2 full bags of chocolate chips. She then summoned her dad to mix the batter for her, as she prepared herself for the next phase of the pancake making operation.
She moved her ladder over to the stove and fished out a spatula from the drawer. She was overjoyed when she spotted two pans warming up on the stovetop. Once the batter was mixed, Theo looked over at his daughter wearing a devilish smirk, “I bet you I can flip these pancakes without a spatula.”
The girl met Theo’s challenging gaze with one of her own, as she followed suit by placing a small amount of batter into the hot pan, “Game on, old man.”
Soon a whole second round of giggles had filled the kitchen as the two of them had started a new playful battle. The pancake wars continued as each of them were determined to out flip the other.
Theo shot his daughter a smug grin as he stood back and threw two pancakes high into the air, only to catch them in the pan mere seconds before they would hit the ground. He started getting a little cocky, showing off his skills by throwing the fluffy cakes into the air, turning around twice and then successfully catching them.
The little girl glared at her father, determined to wipe that cocky smile off his smug face. She now brimmed with confidence holding the pan securely between her tiny hands in an attempt to throw the pancake up high into the air to catch it.
She earned an impressed scoff from Theo at the height she managed to get, however, that scoff soon turned into full-blown laughter as the last pancake she threw up into the air hit the roof.
The little girl crossed her arms in disappointment as Theo chuckled and ruffled her hair, “That’s what you get for getting too arrogant, spookje.”
Her disappointment soon turned into excitement at the sight of the massive stack of pancakes the two of them had managed to make.
The stuck pancake was long forgotten as the little girl grabbed hold of a plate stacked to the high heavens with pancakes. She excitedly skipped her way to her mother's room with Theo following closely behind. She kicked the door open and bounded up to her mother's side, “Happy Pancake day!”
You smiled down at your daughter and husband who was covered head to toe with flour and pancake batter. “Wow, is this all for me!” you pulled your daughter into your arms and started tickling her while leaving playful kisses all over her face as a thank you for the wonderful surprise.
The three of you ate you maple soaked cakes in bed as your daughter excitingly recounted the events of the morning. She beamed with pride as she even pointed out, that she had added extra sugar to yours, knowing that you had a sweet tooth that not even your husband could match.
While the three of you enjoyed your drowned syrupy delights, the sound of Sabastian's shrieking could be heard in the distance upon the discovery of the gigantic mess made in the kitchen.
Theo and the little girl simply snickered at the sound of Sabastian angrily cursing in Japanese, as it had seemed that the pancake that had gotten stuck on the roof had landed straight onto the butler's head when he entered into the kitchen.
。.*:・’゚:。.*:゚・’゚゚:。’ .*:・’゚:。.*:゚・’゚゚:。’・゚。.*:・’゚: 。.*:・’゚:。.*:゚・’゚゚:。’ .*:・’゚:。.*:゚
Hehe, I hope yall enjoyed! 🌈🌻☺
#theo route countdown party#ikevamp theodorus#theo ikevamp#theo#ikemen vampire theodorus#ikevamp theo x reader#theo x reader#theo x daughter#theo with his lil girl#hehehe so this is day 2#whooop whoop#love this man so much!#ikevam theo#ikevamp theo#Theodorus van Gogh#ikevamp theodorus van gogh
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So, I finished The Untamed and ok ok I think I have collected most of my thoughts about it. (I’m late, so I guess these thoughts don’t really matter, but I wanted to put them somewhere and here seemed like the place.) SO here’s a post absolutely NO ONE WANTS and imma do it anyway cool cool.
Firstly: love. This entire show is about love. Obviously other things too ok I’m simplifying for the sake of my point. But importantly it is about love. The love for our families, found, made and blood. The love of soulmates, romantic and platonic. The love of humanity, of the people known and unknown, love for them purely because they are human and are therefore deserving of love. The love inherent in honour and duty, the sacrifices made for that love. Loving someone—bravely, in the face of every adversity, despite being told it’s wrong. Learning to be true to that love, learning to love faithfully, learning to love, to show love, to be loved.
Bless the tireless translators. Y’all. The work you do is often thankless but y’all are so valued. Thank you.
The music. I actually don’t have the words for this, I can only thank the composers and musicians for the gifts they have blessed us with. My heart my heart my heart.
The costumes, set, props and cinematography are all so exquisite. I’m not an expert in any of these fields but I can see the care and detail paid to each facet of this show. What an absolute visual joy. Stunning.
And now, the characters.
I’ll start with the ladies. They deserved so much more. We deserved to have more than just one by the end, but I understand this wasn’t their story (still hurts tho).
Jiang Yanli. Proof that kindness is powerful. Her heart holds entire worlds. She is not weak (don’t even try me I swear to the gods). She holds her family together. She takes care of her siblings. She feeds their bodies and their souls. WWX is right—JZX does not deserve her but that’s because nobody does. But Jiang Yanli deserves to be happy, therefore her marriage to the Flower Peacock is valid purely bc it makes her happy. She stands up for what’s right, she will not compromise her morals, she will defend her family to her last breath (and so she does💔). She does not harden herself, she does not have to. Her patience and kindness, her softness, her gentleness—things that are seen as weaknesses or inferiorities—are what put her above all around her. She is gracious, she is strong, she is loving, she is determined, she is brave. She deserved better.
Wen Qing. A queen. A powerhouse. The most brilliant mind. A lightning-quick and sharp-bladed tongue. She loves Wen Ning so much and her love is powerful, just as Jiang Yanli’s. Her dedication and devotion to her people, her true family, not just a name, is incredible, inspiring. Why? Because she’s not perfect. So she learns. She grows. She becomes herself. When she’s at the Burial Mounds, she essentially adopts WWX as another younger brother, caring for him because she knows he won’t care for himself, and she does so out of love and respect. But she never replaces Jiang Yanli. She is keenly aware of all she perceives WWX loses because he aids them. Hence the pivotal, crucial: I’m sorry and thank you. She walks to what she knows is her own death with her head held high and her hand in her brother’s, offering love and support and what protection she can to the end. She does not flinch. She does not bow. She fights with all of her and surrenders with grace not reflected by those she surrenders to. Honestly I could write an entire thesis on Wen Qing but I’ll cry too hard so I’ll just leave it here that she deserved better, she deserved to live, she deserved to be free.
Mian Mian. Mian motherfucking Mian. Here is a woman who stares injustice full in the face and says no fucking way, says over my dead body, says you and what army old man. Strips the robes of the hypocritical off her own damn body, throws them at the feet of a false god and walks out, back straight, head held high. She makes her own way in the world, carves out her own life, finds love and happiness and lives. She does not compromise. She does not bow. She fights and she wins and she is glorious. And she lives she lives she lives.
Yu ZiYuan. I may be in the minority here but that’s ok. No I don’t approve of her abuse, just gonna nip that one in the bud right out of the gate. Was she fair? No. Was she cruel? Yes. Was she an incredible fighter who fought for her family, for her home? Who showed raw courage and furious strength in the face of insurmountable odds? Who loved a man with her whole bitter heart, loved her children with that same fractured heart? Was clearly the subject of spiteful rumour and vicious gossip and did not let it defeat her? Refused to bow to anyone? I do not like her, do not like how her bitterness made her cruel. But seeing her wield her blade, take wound after wound, witness the death of her love, then take her own blade and rob the monsters invading her home of the satisfaction of taking her life, took her own life with her own hands because that’s how she did everything in her life so why the fuck wouldn’t she do it in death too, who crawled her way to the man she loved, laced their fingers together so he wouldn’t die alone, so they could both die held? How can I not respect her.
Ok. The lads.
Jiang Cheng is a man-child idiot with the emotional expression range of a loquat, an inferiority complex the size of the moon and self-worth issues going back farther than the Big Bang, and I love him, ok? He loves so hard and so much and it is heartwrenching that he cannot communicate that. Some of his best moments are actually in the background, which is both funny and terribly sad. His rage is at times ridiculous, at times frustrating, at times all he has left, his joy is bright but brief, his grief is devastating. Watching JY greet WWX after the 3 months in the Burial Mounds. The entire temple scene. Crying on his knees. We were to be the Heroes of Yunmeng. Take care. Fuck me right in my feelings ok.
Wen Ning is so fucking precious and I would die for him for all eternity. What an absolute gift his character is. I honestly can’t write much more about him because I’ll cry. But special mentions to his interactions with A-Yuan/Lan SiZhui and the incredible scene where he reveals to Jiang Cheng the truth about his/WWX’s golden core. Unparalleled emotional intensity. The equal parts tenderness and fierceness of his love is breathtaking.
And the loves.
Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen. There is a lot of tragedy in The Untamed. There is great sadness in the main plot line and even in the small side plots. The Ballad of Song Lan and Xian Xingchen (as it’s come to be known in my head) is for me the most devastating and poignant. They just wanted to do good, to wander the world together and do their part to make it a better and safer place. It’s noble, yes, but it’s also so human, so close to home. Because we all want that, to know that we can do some good before we leave this world. They do not want to be involved in the petty squabbles, the undignified and cruel vying for power and dominance. They simply want to live and be. The fact that both of their deaths are pointless, could have been avoided, are the faults of poor timing and terrible terrible luck and cruel turns fate is almost what makes it sadder. Xue Yang screams that XXC is not better than him, that his righteousness and the righteous way he has attempted to live his life is all for naught. And then he is immediately proven wrong—XXC’s heartbreak means he can’t become XY’s puppet. SL is free from XY’s control and avenges himself and XXC. Which is also somehow just as devastating. That XXC and SL were so close, so very close to being together, to living, to making it, but didn’t. Nothing grand or heroic about their deaths—just the unknown and unpredictable nature of life. There is no rhyme or reason, no big important plan, no fate or destiny. They both simply die as we all one day will. And it is their potential cut short, the love and life they could’ve had, that hurts the most. They are not Lan Zhan and Wei Ying: they do not get their second chance, their reunion, their happily ever after. The look shared between SL and LWJ—the shared grief, the recognition, the understanding—and LWJ’s brief and unelaborated-on comment to WWX ‘how fortunate’ speaks volumes. How fortunate you came back/I found you/that’s not us when it could’ve been. That final shot of SL walking away and the brief out-of-focus moment of XXC walking beside him—particularly when it’s echoed with the parallel of WWX and LWJ—chokes me every time.
Wei Ying and Lan Zhan. Soulmates in every sense of the word. Their song. Their bunnies. Their child. The years they were robbed of. The yearning. The pining. The loyalty. The growth. The love the love the love. The loss the loss the loss. Every Lan Zhan. Every Wei Ying. Every glance. Every soft breath. Every gentle touch. The tenderness. The intimacy. The quiet acceptance. Their love story is one of the ages and, on a personal note as a queer person, what a gift it is to see a queer love story like this. (even when censored as a bromance, which like I mean, they tried but the glances alone are +9000 gay pining but whatever and yes I am making a joke because I’m crying don’t look at me)
TL;DR: I am so thankful The Untamed/CQL/MDZS and all of its adaptations (the source material included obvs) exists. I am so thankful to the writers, translators, casts, crews, creators. I am thankful for the community of fans that exist that love it as I do, who share that love and passion—whether through passionate discussion, rich fanfic or mind-blowing fanart. I am thankful I live in a time where content like this exists and can be shared. I learned a whole lot and I’m so grateful there aren’t even words. Love y’all. I’m gonna go be soft now. 💙
#Bee gets real soft#Bee gets a little bit too deep into feelings#this is...long#long post#im so sorry#i just have... a lot of feelings#the untamed#CQL#MDZS#wangxian#lwj x wwx#this is a lot#im SOFT#DONT LOOK#yall can go ahead and ignore this whew#excuse me i need to go be soft#Bee maybe waxes poetic???#bee watches the untamed#and cries#a lot#song lan x xiao xingchen#jiang yanli#wen qing#mian mian#jiang cheng#wen ning#yu ziyuan#tagged: and they were soulmates
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I already saw it coming. First from jinyoung’s news with having talks with another company, to yugyeom having one too. During those time, i already braced myself with whats going to happen in the next days. However, I never imagined that it’d be this way. I thought i can accept it and gradually move on, but no. Its a fucking pierce into my heart. I wasnt a fan of them compared to some who were there since day 1, but they really became my emotional support system since the start of last year. Their music had been with me through ups and downs, whenever I feel lonely, sad, confused or simply out of boredom. They became a part of me. The dedication and love I have towards them is so different among the other groups I had stanned throughout my lifetime. They made me cross boundaries and get out of my comfort zone. They became my inspiration in everything I did. This is actually the first time I felt sooo dedicated to a group to a point i’d go an extra mile for them and this news just pains me so much. I love them with all my heart. I thought I already had collected myself and had accepted the fact, but seeing them on their last performance togther just made me lose it. I realized i wasn’t ready to give my thoughts and how rambled my mind knowing the news yesterday :’( I know they arent d¡$b4nding, and they just left the damn company, but this really saddens me. I invested a lot of time and energy in them and seeing them going in this path... just shattered my heart. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that theyre finally out of that shithole, but I can’t seem to accept that its going to be the last for a while and we won’t be seeing them together. Though I endured the seven months without group content, but this one’s longer for sure. What annoys me more is that jy/pe already saw it coming but they decided not to just give them what they want. Lmao. well, the company clearly doesnt want them to have the promotions they should have so i cant argue with that
With jy’s gda backstage interview saying that they’ll be back with a new album to mark tweeting that “its not the end, just a beginning” i am assured that they’ll comeback as seven again. Not for now, but soon enough. Well they didnt leave the company as a group if they’re really planning to venture away from eo and not going to pursue anymore. There’s clearly no bad blood between them, its the bad blood between g7 and that old hag’s company.
I just hope for the best for the sevens. No matter what path they take in the near future, I’ll always be here to support them. I’ll be waiting here. We’re in this got7 shit anyway. I know the sevens will never read this, but I want to express how grateful I am that you existed and I had become a fan of you. Your music really helped me alot. I love you GOT7.
#its like... 8 am here and im having a emotional breakdown#as soon as i opened my eyes i checked my phone and their faces lit up and my heart broke#as much as i want to keep them as my wallpaper#the pain is real#ugh i love them so much pls#we’re in this together#right?
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TRAINEE MISSION 005
SCHEDULE TYPE: TRIMESTER SCHEDULE RESTRICTIONS: Cannot be paired with another trimester schedule, unless stated otherwise
** a special thanks to @lgcseojin for the idea **
on OCTOBER 7, around 3pm when trainees from all groups are present at the company, KIM HYUNCHEOL gathers the lot of them in the company’s biggest available room. when everybody is seated, the head manager exclaims “well, that was an eventful trimester we just go through!”, scanning the crowd of future artists in front of him he continues. “i hope the competition and the concert has given you the drive to keep working harder towards your debut!” he lets out a smile crack on his face. “speaking of the competition, the results are in; as expected, when it comes to vocals, there are no companies like legacy! we also held our ground in the dancing department coming in second place. our weaknesses show in rapping and entertainment skills. however, overall, the company is pleased with the way you all have performed.”
“none of you probably had noticed, but representatives of the entertainment industry also came to observe the future of kpop. you have impressed enough for MNET to offer us a 6 weeks MUSIC SHOW called NOSTALGIA during which you will perform old kpop songs. filming and broadcast will begin in november which gives you all plenty of time to start rehearsing.”
“i’m also proud to announced that FUTURE DREAMS will have a 3rd season. we are looking for any debut ready male trainees. furthermore, LGC Girls are looking for new members for their japanese promotions. those who participate in these will not take part in NOSTALGIA.”
NOSTALGIA
WEEK 1: Rising Sun by DBSK ( Senior Male Trainees), Candy by H.O.T ( Junior Male Trainees ), Why by Baby Vox ( Senior Female Trainees), Now by Fin.K.L (Junior Female Trainees)
WEEK 2: Perfect Man by Shinhwa (Senior Male Trainees), Sorry Sorry by Super Junior (Junior Male Trainees), Irony by Wonder Girls (Senior Female Trainees), Gee by SNSD (Junior Female Trainees)
WEEK 3: Rainism by Rain (Senior Male Trainees), Honey by JY Park (Junior Male Trainees), Coming of Age Ceremony by Park Ji Yoon (Senior Female Trainees of age), Saturday Night by Son Dambi (Junior Female Trainees and underaged Senior Female Trainees)
WEEK 4: Friday Night by god (Senior Male Trainees), The Way This Guy Lives by Sechs Kies (Junior Male Trainees), Baby One More Time by Jewelry (Senior Female Trainees), Im Your Girl by S.E.S (Junior Female Trainees)
WEEK 5: This Song by 2AM (Senior Male Trainees), Happiness (Super Junior), Boomerang by The Grace (Senior Female Trainees), Tell Me by Wonder Girls (Junior Female Trainees)
WEEK 6: Again and Again by 2PM (Senior Male Trainees), Love Like This by SS501 (Junior Male Trainees), I Don't Care by 2ne1 (Senior Female Trainees), Roly Poly by T-ara (Junior Female Trainees)
WEEK 7: Wedding Dress by Taeyang (Senior Male Trainees), Loveable by Kim Jong Kook (Junior Male Trainees), 10 Minutes by Lee Hyori (Senior Female Trainees), Atlantis Princess by BoA (Junior Female Trainees)
WEEK 8: Magical Girl by Orange Caramel (Senior Male Trainees), Bad Girl Good Girl by Miss A (Junior Male Trainees), Balloons (Senior Female Trainees), 10 out of 10 by 2PM (Junior Female Trainees
** since we know some training groups will be smaller than others, it’s safe to assume that training groups with less than 5 trainees have npc trainees **
REQUIREMENTS
make sure to use the hashtag lgc:traineemission for everything related to this event. you have until JANUARY 9, 11:59 EST to complete the following requirements:
PREPARATION: write a 300+ words solo or a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) thread with a partner that has to do with anything related to NOSTALGIA (rehearsal, backstage of recording, ect.) for +6 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE and +2 NOTORIETY ** this can be claimed twice **
SKETCH: write a 300+ words solo or a 4 replies (minimum 8 lines) thread with a same-gender partner where your muse(s) will be filming a small sketch to introduce any of the songs above for +5 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE and +3 NOTORIETY
PERFORMANCE: write a 250+ words solo about one of your muse’s performance for +5 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE ANYWHERE and +3 NOTORIETY
to validate your skill points and collect your notoriety points, please submit the following form ONCE on the points blog before JANUARY 9, 11:59 EST.
TITLE: MUSE NAME ∙ TRAINEE MISSION 005
PREPARATION: +6 ( skill points distribution ) + 2 NOTORIETY [ LINK ]
SKETCH: +5 ( skill points distribution ) +3 NOTORIETY [ LINK ]
PERFORMANCE: +5 ( skill points distribution ) +3 NOTORIETY [ LINK ]
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TØP Monthly Update #137: Blog Update (7/3/20)
Hey, friends. Been awhile.
I want to apologize for dropping off the map for the last month. I should have been more upfront and transparent. What happened? I’ll be honest- I have felt like my time has been put to better use the last few weeks than updating this blog. I have been working two jobs, volunteering for some activist groups on my campus and in my community, and spending time with my amazing girlfriend. I have not had the energy, drive, or interest to cover Twenty One Pilots, not because I don’t love the band, but because there’s just so many more important things to be doing right now than covering their kinda overhyped ARG announcement of a “never-ending” music video (though I am still excited to see what’s coming next based on Tyler’s comments in a recent Variety interview and Jenna’s recent IG posts of being in Nashville).
When I started this blog roughly four years ago, it was to fill what I thought was an untapped niche in the Clique coverage of the band and create a regularly updated, long-form series that could collect all of the minute details that people may have missed from the past week into one easily digestible place. I just haven’t paid anywhere close to the amount of attention that I usually give the band to accomplish that mission. I still haven’t, so I won’t be combing back through Twitter and YouTube to cover everything I’ve missed- that’s all old news and is unlikely to interest or inform most of my readers.
This next week is gonna be a busy one- in addition to my other responsibilities, I’ve also got a birthday and an anniversary coming up. I can’t promise that I’ll be back with a full update next week. But I’m gonna try. This update project means a great deal to me, and if we get a whiff of new music or performances from the band, I will 100% be there for it.
One last thing before I leave you: JY Tha Pharoah’s reaction videos played a big role this last month in reminding me why I fell in love with this band in the first place. If you need a serotonin boost, give some of his content a watch this next week, and remember just how special this band from Ohio really is.
Power to the local dreamer.
|-/
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I could do this all night long! I used to be a writer for an international music blog, and I have a huge database of songs I've collected over the years. As a tease, I'll give you my current favorite song describing Zhan Zhengxi: Persuasion by Richard and Teddy Thompson. But give me more specifics and I'll custom-pick a song or two just for you!
I had never heard that song before, but holy hell was it a spot-on Zhanyi/ZZX song. Like, I got chills. Promises, inner battles and conflicts, starting something new, taking no half measures...
These two lines especially fit brilliantly:
to rebuild what was never there
After JY’s official confession, ZZX needed to figure out their relationship all over again. He needed to take a step back and see JY still as his lifelong best friend but also as something new, something else. So, it was rebuilding something that was already old and familiar.
I've always been a man who's open to persuasion
I can’t believe one single line managed to capture the dynamic of their dubbing relationship from ZZX’s point of view.
My taste in music has kinda shifted towards songs about dark, twisted love. Not angsty love songs per se but rather love that has darker themes: possessiveness, domination, manipulation, self-loathing and yet not being able to walk away because that other person gets you and accepts you the way you are. You know, the kind of love that scratches the itches that you wish weren’t parts of you. When the people loving each other kinda hate each other, too. Their relationship is about love but also about bruising and scraping each other.
Anon me a song to listen to
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Quarantine Q&A
• Are you staying home from work/home?
I actually got let go almost exactly a year ago and was taking a loooong and much needed break... then decided to seriously search for a job just as covid broke out soooo. I’m just freelancing at the moment. But yeah, staying home.
• If you’re staying home, who’s with you?
In the same house, my landlords and my neighbours. But in my space, just my birdlet and me.
• Are you a homebody?
Yes and no. I like going out on my own a few times a week (I’ll go for food, to festivals, movies, etc.), also taking walks around the area, but I’m totally okay just staying home. I don’t much like not going out because of something (covid) though.
• What movies have you watched recently? What shows?
Mmmm the last movie I watched... I think it was Battle Angel Alita. I don’t watch serial shows, generally.
• An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?
A birthday. I wanted to hang out with my dad and my ex-co-workers (don’t tell but we get together to gossip about the old workplace that a few of us still work at) but obviously those weren’t good things to go ahead with. Also Fanfest?? Probably.
• What music are you listening to?
I was listening to ACNH music today... nothing atm. Normally I listen to whatever’s on my old playlist, ranging from Aphex Twin to Celldweller to E.S. Posthumus to game/anime/tv/movie soundtracks. My internet’s somewhat unstable so I don’t stream my music as much anymore.
• What are you reading?
NOTHING BECAUSE MY LIBRARY’S CLOSED. The day before I did take out two novellas by Jy Yang, The Black Tides of Heaven and The Red Threads of Fortune. Finished those. I also have a collection of poetry by W.B. Yeats, my favourite poet, but I have yet to crack it.
• What are you doing for self-care?
Playing Animal Crossing, probably. I don’t know if I would have otherwise bought it, if I had nothing else to do. I’m working a lot on my art nowadays, generally staying off FFXIV except for weeklies or RP. Maybe looking for a static though, given I’m stuck at home! Waiting for my copy of FFVIIR to arrive... I’m honestly not eating or sleeping well, but I’m at least doing some semblance of both. I bought cake for myself? (And dropped it outside my car.)
Tagged by: @niomemizune thank you!
Tagging: This is probably a bit personal (and very ooc) so even less obligation to do this meme, but here are a few tags @elegant-etienne @maddogofhalcyon @zuraoftheblack @grumpy-limsan-customs-cat
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The Sky Tells
A little girl roams the skies
Pure wings of white direct her
She floats with the clouds as one
Gave her greetings to the stars
Praises the shining white moon
As she soared, she heard the talk
“The Sun is the only truth”
So she flew to her interest
Fluttering above, so close
Fragile wings went up in flames
She found herself free-falling
Wings disappearing to ash
She outreached her arm, nothing
The clouds tried as they might
The stars were hidden from sight
The Moon stared in pure horror
And the Sun, it laughed in glee
For days did she fall in peace
Till hatred bubbled within
She flapped her featherless wings
It hurt, but she had to try
Slowly, black feathers emerged
Her descent slowed by a bit
But not enough to survive
A voice, she heard in her mind
A demon, it claimed it was
I shall help you, it whispered
For a price that was nothing
Yes, without hesitation
As she wandered through the streets
The memory of her fall played
Truely ironic, she mused
A demon for a savior
How desperate she must’ve been
But angels didn’t exist
How could one ever save her?
Perhaps, she was the angel
And that demon in her mind
Maybe it corrupted her
And she wouldn’t change that fact
Even if she had the choice
The girl who grew pure black wings
The sacred tale of the sky
Never a word on the ground
#spilled ink#poetic#poem#poetry#original poem#poems and poetry#poems on tumblr#spilled poetry#long poem#my poetry#poets on tumblr#writers and poets#poems#poet#poem by me#spilled words#words words words#words#my words#beautiful words#writers on tumblr#poets corner#poets and writers#poetry corner#poet community#poet corner#poem and poetry#poems and quotes#Old JY Collection#and i wonder if he ever felt this way
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Royal Jordanian Falcons – Old Warden 7-7-2019 by Alan Wilson Via Flickr: Three of the four Extra 300LXs of the Royal Jordanian Falcons display team seen during their display at the Shuttleworth Collections 2019 Military Airshow. The aircraft are:- ‘RJF01’, c/n LC069 and also JY-RFA, ‘RJF02’, c/n LC070 and also JY-RFB and ‘RJF03’, c/n LC071 and also JY-RFC. Old Warden, Bedfordshire, UK 7th July 2019
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Fanfic: The Gusu Lan Rift Healing Show
Part 2
Link to part 1
Summary: What if Jiang Cheng and co, appeared in a reality TV like show where they had to talk through their feelings, but it wasn’t set in a Modern AU, but instead set in the actual story timeline? What if Jingyi and Sizhui hosted the show? And thus a Crackfic was born.
Sizhui: Thank you to all our guests.
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes, Jin Ling sat nonchalantly at on his chair, his sword across his lap, his fingers running over the jeweled scabbard.
Hanguang Jun sat very still, putting on his resting buddha face.
JY: Now that our guests are all here, let us make a start. We want to get everything to clear the air. So Sect Leader Jiang, tell us, why do you feel such a deep hatred towards the Yiling Patriarch.
SZ: Jingyi!
JY: Well we still have to ask!
SZ: Please ease into it more gently.
JC: Hng! You all know very well.
Jiang Cheng crossed his arms.
SZ: Dear sect leader Jiang, the Rift Healing show works best when the guest talks through the issues
JL: What’s there to talk about? The #@””%Q bastard killed my mother and my father
JC: Jinling, language!
JL: That’s what you told me!
The audience started murmuring again. The young cultivator had also heard the story, what a poor orphan, both parents killed before he was even one years old. He shook his head in sympathy.
SZ: Dear sect leader Jiang, it might be best if you start from the beginning, you and the Yiling Patriarch grew up together right?
JC: ….
JY: Sect Leader Jiang.. The sect leaders tells us that you ha-
JC: Fine. just ugh. My mouth feels foul just mentioning it, but yes we did. Goddammit, I’m gonna need some wine for this.
Jiang Cheng snapped his fingers. The same servant appears, and brought to his side a large jar of Emperor’s Smile. He stabbed through the paper covering over jar lid, and was about to pour it into the small cup before thinking better of it and just chugging it down. He drank, he gulped, he slammed the jar back down on the table.
JC: Yes we grew up together, the bastard was picked up by my father and brought into our family at a young age.
The audience collectively leaned forward. Everyone knew the story, but to hear it from the horse’s mouth was another thing entirely!
TWO HOURS LATER
JC: I grabbed him by the shoulder’s the blood of my sister still wet on my hands, why.. I asked him why, we were meant to be the two Pride of Yunmeng together.
Jiang Cheng broke out into loud ugly sobs, he pulled the jar to his lips and poured, but jar was already empty.
JC: Why? Why did you-
Jiang Cheng broke off- cried and hiccuped. Jinling on his side was also sobbing loudly, trails of snot on his reddened face
The young cultivator dabbed at his eyes, what a cruel world, what a cruel tale for the decades, nay centuries to come. To lose your friend to such darkness. All around him, he heard sighs of lament and muffled sobbing, the crowd caught up in the mood. It was like they had all been there, standing in the Nightless City Plaza, surrounded by fierce corpses, watching the life of their beloved sister slip away.
JC: Why did my sister have to die, why did he have to die…
SZ: And all these years, you have been chasing after his shadow.
Jiang Cheng said nothing, but his left hand unconsciously went to touch the ring on his right index finger, his family heirloom and magical tool, the zidian.
JY: You have never been able to forget him.
JC: Forget him, I wish I could. Hah. Everything happened because of him and. And!
Jiang Cheng whipped his head to right and glared at the person who had been sitting silently all the time on the chair furthest away, Hanguang Jun.
He slapped the table and stood up.
JC: You! Wei Ying became that way because of you!
Hanguang Jun only glanced at him coldly and said nothing.
Jingyi was immediately affronted even though he was meant to be neutral as the host.
JY: Wasn’t it just that you felt like your best friend was being taken away by someone bette- OW goddamn Sizhui, I’m going to lose a rib one day!
SZ: Be quiet you!
SZ: Sect Leader Jiang, but ultimately is your regret, not the regret that Master Wei was unable to walk the broad path and had to take the fraught narrow path of demonic cultivation to protect the innocent Wen villagers?
Jiang Cheng sat down again, his eyes glazed as he returned to the past.
JC: His swordsmanship was the best.. If.. if he hadn’t turned to demonic ways.. The person being proclaimed number one, wouldn’t be from the GUSU LAN SECT.
Murmurs of discontent rose up from the audience, they were in Gusu territory after all, saying something like that was an insult to the town. Jiang Cheng really knew how to piss people off with his words.
Jiang Cheng heard the noise and turned to face the audience, suddenly remembering they were there.
JC: Hng! I have said nothing wrong. Why don’t you ask him if I spoke the truth or not?
He pointed a finger at Hanguang Jun. His other hand clutched the empty wine jar to his chest.
The crowd quietened again, as if they had collectively inhaled a breath, they all turned to look at the devastatingly handsome visage of Hanguang Jun. Such a good looking man.
Hanguang Jun, looked back at Jiang Cheng, swept up the cup on the table on his side, drank it as swiftly and put it back.
“Those were not false words.”
Everyone gasped. Hanguang Jun. The Hanguang Jun, was saying that there was someone better than him. Just who was the Wei Ying, this Yiling Patriarch from the past. Just how good was he?
Suddenly a gong sounded three times, and someone ran onto the stage to whisper urgently into the ears of Sizhui and Jingyi.
Just what was going on?
The young disciple who had come up to the stage ran down again, and went down to the troupe of musicians, who had been providing the moving BGM to Jiang Cheng’s dramatic story.
They immediately struck up a low tune, full of mystery and anticipation.
Sizhui stepped forward to face the audience.
SZ: We didn’t announce it earlier, because we could not confirm if it was true or not.. But since listening to Sect Leader Jiang’s story, I think we no longer need to doubt it any more. Today, we actually have a fourth guest.
JY: Yes this fourth guest is going to blow your mind. Honestly it blew ours.
SZ: And we hope this will finally give everyone an opportunity to resolve the rifts that have formed over the past 16 years.
Sizhui looked at Jiang Cheng who eyed him suspiciously.
JY: You all may have noticed the partition on the stage, our fourth guest will arrive on the other side and the audience will get to see him first
The music suddenly got louder, almost like a fanfare, the red curtain was swept back by an elegant hand, another handsome man, dressed in a very fitting red and black outfit wearing his hair in a ponytail appeared. He walked up a little, sheepishly facing the audience, and then flashed a very dazzling smile.
“Wow”
“My heavens, how handsome”
“His smile is so gorgeous”
“I think I’m going to faint”
The guests on the other side of the lacquered partition could not see the new guest, but they heard everything that the crowd was saying.
SZ: we will now pull apart the partiti-
Before he could finish, Jiang Cheng had used his spiritual energy to blast apart the lacquered panels and suddenly he was only meters away from the man who on the other side, who turned, and waved shyly at him.
Jiang Cheng’s face turned as purple as his outfit.
JC: Wei Ying! You mother*”£$&*£%&, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU.
The jar was dashed against the floor and a flash of purple lightning leapt across the distance between them and wrapped itself around the man’s neck.
Wei Ying? This was Wei Ying? The demonic Yiling Patriarch really?!
Wei Ying, pulled at the fizzling rope, trying to give himself enough room to breath.
WY: Wait wait, listen [cough] hold up will you, how [cough] can your temper still be so shitty.
SZ: Sect Leader Jiang! You promised you’d stay calm no matter what!
Sizhui rushed up to try and used his sword to slash at the purple lightning but it rebounded
JC: Fuck that! Wei Ying. I’m so glad you are not dead, so I can kill you again!
JY: Oh sh-.. This isn’t really going to plan.
SZ: Sect leader Jiang! Please let go! Jingyi help me here.
Jingyi immediately went to grab at Jiang Cheng’s arm to try and pull him back.
JY: Please forgive my discourtesy, but you are ruining the show.
JL: Let go of my uncle!
Jinling proceeded to pull at Jingyi who was pulling it Jiang Cheng who was pulling at Wei Ying. Who was throwing talismans out left right and centre, little paper men crowding the hem of Jiang Cheng’s outfit tugging at him.
The young cultivator was reminded of a childhood tale involving a big turnip. Except today, the big turnip was the legendary Yiling Patriarch.
The crowd was roaring and cheering, it was turning into a fight match and everyone was getting great value for money!
SZ: Hanguang Jun, please help!
JY: Hanguang, is he, I think he’s asleep?!
The young cultivator turned to look, indeed Hanguang Jun’s head was nodding forward. How could he sleep at a time like this?
WY: Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan come help me dammit!
It was like a switch had been turned on! Hanguang Jun’s eyes snapped open and he stood up immediately, he turned to the left and looked on expressionless at everything going on, Jingyi and Jinling were clashing swords, Sizhui was struggling against Jiang Cheng.
LZ: Wei Ying!
He called out fiercely, and then, he suddenly slammed his hand down against the wooden stage. There was an almighty loud crack, everyone on stage, the chairs the table and all, disappeared downwards.
The crowd rose to their feet, the musicians stopped playing.
“Did he, he just break the whole stage with his bare hand?”
“Whoah!”
Dust and rubble flew up, the bottom of the stage was covered, no one could see what was going on, there were some shouting and screaming going on behind the scene, and next thing you knew someone was flying up. It was Hanguang jun, on his sword Bichen, and carried in his arms was Wei Ying!
Jiang Cheng was climbing up out of the rubble, his face ashened with dust.
JC: Wei Ying, you come back here!
Wei Ying looked down at him but gripped on tighter around Hanguang Jun’s shoulder
WY: I’m sorry my good brother, I think we might have to do our reunion at another time.
LZ: No talking while flying.
Hanguang Jun had spoken sternly, even though he was talking and flying. Next thing, they picked up speed and were flying away and soon were out of sight from the awestruck crowd.
***
And that was the legendary Rift Healing show of all time, and also the last one to ever run, what with the massive structural damage to the theatre and the big furore the return of Wei Ying caused to the cultivation world, it was decided that perhaps the rift healing in front of a live audience might not be a good idea after all.
For the nameless young cultivator, the rest of the stories about Wei Ying and Hanguang Jun and Jiang Cheng, could only be heard through the rumours and the bearded storytellers plying their trade at the inns.
*The End*
#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#the untamed#lan zhan#wei wuxian#cql#lan wangji#jiang cheng#jin ling#lan sizhui#lan jingyi#fanfic#wangxian
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The 2019 Locus Award nominees: your guide to the best sf/f of 2018
Locus Magazine has published its annual Locus Award finalists, a shortlist of the best science fiction and fantasy of the past calendar year. I rely on this list to find the books I've overlooked (so. many. books.). This year's looks like a bumper crop.
Now that the finalists have been announced, Locus subscribers and others can cast their votes; the awards will be presented in Seattle during a weekend-long event that runs June 28-30, MC'ed by Connie Willis.
SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL
Record of a Spaceborn Few, Becky Chambers (Harper Voyager US; Hodder & Stoughton)
The Calculating Stars, Mary Robinette Kowal (Tor)
If Tomorrow Comes, Nancy Kress (Tor)
Revenant Gun, Yoon Ha Lee (Solaris US; Solaris UK)
Blackfish City, Sam J. Miller (Ecco; Orbit UK)
Embers of War, Gareth L. Powell (Titan US; Titan UK)
Elysium Fire, Alastair Reynolds (Gollancz; Orbit US)
Red Moon, Kim Stanley Robinson (Orbit US; Orbit UK)
Unholy Land, Lavie Tidhar (Tachyon)
Space Opera, Catherynne M. Valente (Saga)
FANTASY NOVEL
Lies Sleeping, Ben Aaronovitch (DAW; Gollancz)
Foundryside, Robert Jackson Bennett (Crown; Jo Fletcher)
The Monster Baru Cormorant, Seth Dickinson (Tor)
Deep Roots, Ruthanna Emrys (Tor.com Publishing)
Ahab’s Return, Jeffrey Ford (Morrow)
European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman, Theodora Goss (Saga)
The Mere Wife, Maria Dahvana Headley (MCD)
The Wonder Engine, T. Kingfisher (Argyll Productions)
Spinning Silver, Naomi Novik (Del Rey; Macmillan)
Creatures of Want and Ruin, Molly Tanzer (John Joseph Adams)
HORROR NOVEL
In the Night Wood, Dale Bailey (John Joseph Adams)
Unlanguage, Michael Cisco (Eraserhead)
We Sold Our Souls, Grady Hendrix (Quirk)
Coyote Songs, Gabino Iglesias (Broken River)
The Hunger, Alma Katsu (Putnam; Bantam Press UK)
The Outsider, Stephen King (Scribner; Hodder & Stoughton)
The Listener, Robert McCammon (Cemetery Dance)
Cross Her Heart, Sarah Pinborough (HarperCollins UK/Morrow)
The Cabin at the End of the World, Paul Tremblay (Morrow; Titan UK)
Tide of Stone, Kaaron Warren (Omnium Gatherum)
YOUNG ADULT BOOK
The Gone Away Place, Christopher Barzak (Knopf)
The Cruel Prince, Holly Black (Little, Brown; Hot Key)
The Belles, Dhonielle Clayton (Freeform; Gollancz)
Tess of the Road, Rachel Hartman (Random House)
Dread Nation, Justina Ireland (Balzer + Bray)
Cross Fire, Fonda Lee (Scholastic)
The Agony House, Cherie Priest & Tara O’Connor (Levine)
Half-Witch, John Schoffstall (Big Mouth House)
Impostors, Scott Westerfeld (Scholastic US; Scholastic UK)
Mapping the Bones, Jane Yolen (Philomel)
FIRST NOVEL
Children of Blood and Bone, Tomi Adeyemi (Henry Holt; Macmillan)
Semiosis, Sue Burke (Tor)
Armed in Her Fashion, Kate Heartfield (ChiZine)
The Poppy War, R.F. Kuang (Harper Voyager US; Harper Voyager UK)
The Quantum Magician, Derek Künsken (Solaris US; Solaris UK)
Annex, Rich Larson (Orbit US)
Severance, Ling Ma (Farrar, Straus, Giroux)
Witchmark, C.L. Polk (Tor.com Publishing)
Trail of Lightning, Rebecca Roanhorse (Saga)
Empire of Sand, Tasha Suri (Orbit US; Orbit UK)
NOVELLA
The Black God’s Drums, P. Djèlí Clark (Tor.com Publishing)
The Tea Master and the Detective, Aliette de Bodard (Subterranean)
“Umbernight“, Carolyn Ives Gilman (Clarkesworld 2/18)
Black Helicopters, Caitlín R. Kiernan (Tor.com Publishing)
Time Was, Ian McDonald (Tor.com Publishing)
Gods, Monsters, and the Lucky Peach, Kelly Robson (Tor.com Publishing)
The Freeze-Frame Revolution, Peter Watts (Tachyon)
Artificial Condition, Martha Wells (Tor.com Publishing)
Rogue Protocol, Martha Wells (Tor.com Publishing)
The Descent of Monsters, JY Yang (Tor.com Publishing)
NOVELETTE
“The Donner Party”, Dale Bailey (F&SF 1–2/18)
“Okay, Glory”, Elizabeth Bear (Twelve Tomorrows)
“No Flight Without the Shatter“, Brooke Bolander (Tor.com 8/15/18)
The Only Harmless Great Thing, Brooke Bolander (Tor.com Publishing)
“The Last Banquet of Temporal Confections“, Tina Connolly (Tor.com 7/11/18)
“An Agent of Utopia”, Andy Duncan (An Agent of Utopia)
“Queen Lily“, Theodora Goss (Lightspeed 11/18)
“Nine Last Days on Planet Earth“, Daryl Gregory (Tor.com 9/19/18)
“Quality Time”, Ken Liu (Robots vs Fairies)
“How to Swallow the Moon“, Isabel Yap (Uncanny 11–12/18)
SHORT STORY
“The Secret Lives of the Nine Negro Teeth of George Washington“, Phenderson Djèlí Clark (Fireside 2/18)
“The Bookcase Expedition”, Jeffrey Ford (Robots vs Fairies)
“STET“, Sarah Gailey (Fireside 10/18)
“A Witch’s Guide to Escape: A Practical Compendium of Portal Fantasies“, Alix E. Harrow (Apex 2/6/18)
“Cuisine des Mémoires”, N.K. Jemisin (How Long ’til Black Future Month?)
“The Storyteller’s Replacement”, N.K. Jemisin (How Long ’til Black Future Month?)
“Firelight“, Ursula K. Le Guin (Paris Review Summer ’18)
“The Starship and the Temple Cat“, Yoon Ha Lee (Beneath Ceaseless Skies 2/1/18)
“Mother of Invention“, Nnedi Okorafor (Future Tense)
“The Court Magician“, Sarah Pinsker (Lightspeed 1/18)
ANTHOLOGY
The Best Horror of the Year Volume Ten, Ellen Datlow, ed. (Night Shade)
The Book of Magic, Gardner Dozois, ed. (Bantam; Harper Voyager UK)
The Year’s Best Science Fiction: Thirty-fifth Annual Collection, Gardner Dozois, ed. (St. Martin’s Griffin)
Worlds Seen in Passing, Irene Gallo, ed. (Tor.com Publishing)
The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2018, N.K. Jemisin & John Joseph Adams, eds. (Mariner)
Robots vs Fairies, Dominik Parisien & Navah Wolfe, eds. (Saga)
The Best Science Fiction & Fantasy of the Year, Volume Twelve, Jonathan Strahan, ed. (Solaris US; Solaris UK)
Infinity’s End, Jonathan Strahan, ed. (Solaris US; Solaris UK)
The Underwater Ballroom Society, Tiffany Trent & Stephanie Burgis, eds. (Five Fathoms)
The Future Is Female!, Lisa Yaszek, ed. (Library of America)
COLLECTION
The Tangled Lands, Paolo Bacigalupi & Tobias S. Buckell (Saga)
Brief Cases, Jim Butcher (Ace; Orbit UK)
An Agent of Utopia, Andy Duncan (Small Beer)
How Long ’til Black Future Month?, N.K. Jemisin (Orbit US; Orbit UK)
The Dinosaur Tourist, Caitlín R. Kiernan (Subterranean)
Fire & Blood, George R.R. Martin (Bantam; Harper Voyager UK)
All the Fabulous Beasts, Priya Sharma (Undertow)
The Future Is Blue, Catherynne M. Valente (Subterranean)
Starlings, Jo Walton (Tachyon)
How to Fracture a Fairy Tale, Jane Yolen (Tachyon)
MAGAZINE
Analog
Asimov’s
Beneath Ceaseless Skies
Clarkesworld
F&SF
Fireside
Lightspeed
Strange Horizons
Tor.com
Uncanny
PUBLISHER
Angry Robot
Baen
DAW
Gollancz
Orbit
Saga
Small Beer
Subterranean
Tachyon
Tor
EDITOR
John Joseph Adams
Neil Clarke
Ellen Datlow
Gardner Dozois
C.C. Finlay
Jonathan Strahan
Lynne M. Thomas & Michael Damian Thomas
Ann & Jeff VanderMeer
Sheila Williams
Navah Wolfe
ARTIST
Kinuko Y. Craft
Galen Dara
Julie Dillon
Leo & Diane Dillon
Bob Eggleton
Victo Ngai
John Picacio
Shaun Tan
Charles Vess
Michael Whelan
NON-FICTION
Space Odyssey: Stanley Kubrick, Arthur C. Clarke, and the Making of a Masterpiece, Michael Benson (Simon & Schuster)
Sense of Wonder: Short Fiction Reviews (2009-2017), Gardner Dozois (ReAnimus)
Strange Stars, Jason Heller (Melville House)
Dreams Must Explain Themselves: The Selected Non-Fiction of Ursula K. Le Guin, Ursula K. Le Guin (Gollancz)
Ursula K. Le Guin: Conversations on Writing, Ursula K. Le Guin & David Naimon (Tin House)
Old Futures: Speculative Fiction and Queer Possibility, Alexis Lothian (NYU Press)
Tolkien: Maker of Middle-earth, Catherine McIlwaine, ed. (Bodleian Library)
Astounding: John W. Campbell, Isaac Asimov, Robert A. Heinlein, L. Ron Hubbard, and the Golden Age of Science Fiction, Alec Nevala-Lee (Dey Street)
None of This Is Normal: The Fiction of Jeff VanderMeer, Benjamin J. Robertson (University of Minnesota Press)
An Informal History of the Hugos: A Personal Look Back at the Hugo Awards, 1953-2000, Jo Walton (Tor)
ART BOOK
Yoshitaka Amano, Yoshitaka Amano: The Illustrated Biography – Beyond the Fantasy, Florent Gorges (Les Éditions Pix’n Love 2015; Dark Horse)
Spectrum 25: The Best in Contemporary Fantastic Art, John Fleskes, ed. (Flesk)
John Howe, A Middle-earth Traveler: Sketches from Bag End to Mordor (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; HarperCollins UK)
Jeffrey Alan Love, The Thousand Demon Tree (Flesk)
Simon Stålenhag, The Electric State (Fria Ligan ’17; Skybound)
Shaun Tan, Cicada (Lothian; Levine ’19)
Charles Vess, The Books of Earthsea: The Complete Illustrated Edition, Ursula K. Le Guin (Saga)
Michael Whelan, Beyond Science Fiction: The Alternative Realism of Michael Whelan (Baby Tattoo)
Dungeons & Dragons Art and Arcana: A Visual History, Michael Witwer, Kyle Newman, Jon Peterson, & Sam Witwer (Ten Speed)
Lisbeth Zwerger, The Tales of Beedle the Bard, J.K. Rowling (Levine)
https://boingboing.net/2019/05/07/futures-of-the-past-year.html
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TRC ENTERTAINMENT TRIPLE THREAT CHALLENGE AUDITION BY HEO HYUNJOON song ; ONF - Original ( 1:22 - 3:17 ) outfit ; here & here
it’s nearing a year since the last time hyunjoon took part in something big for the music industry. in two short months it would be a year since the announcement for what he would come to consider his biggest waste of time. honestly, after the mistake that was mga4 hyunjoon really never saw himself doing something like this again. he wants to get signed somewhere yes, but he isn’t too sure he would put himself through the same thing. at least--not right now as he knows he has a long way to go before he’s really considered a good performer. while he’s sure his busking fans would disagree with him, he also knows they’re overly biased. hyunjoon also will probably never really be satisfied with his performing.
especially considering the pressure he sometimes feels having seungah as his cousin--miss cheri from luxe. shes been hitting new highs with each new comeback, her group recently having gotten their first win and all. hyunjoon likes to pretend he isn’t effected by this, that he would be the one to end up comparing himself to his cousin given their age difference and the fact she had been training long before he had even decided he wanted to be an idol.
but its hard not too when he hears them--her--every where. other buskers are always covering luxe, he walks into stores and one of their songs is playing. he see’s ads for them all around and of course his stan twitter account is always blowing up about luxe. his mom is always always gushing about her niece anytime she gets the chance to. playing the songs and watching whatever show one of the luxe girls might come on. she tells hyunjoon work hard and you can be there with her one day and hyunjoon takes that to heart.
it’s a lot of the reason he threw himself into practice once he was all cleared from the doctor. leaving school and going straight to a studio so he can sweat away the hours until he needs to go home only to wake up and repeat the routine the next day. telling himself the only way for him to get better is for him to work hard.
being a busker makes it easy for him to stay in top form and to keep on top of the new dances. he’s over a year now in orion and in that year hyunjoon has really picked up a skill for learning dances. he can figure out moves rather quickly and then its merely repetition to get them sharp and on time. on a good night he can learn a whole new dance, on a rough night he might learn half the dance. but generally, hyunjoon leaves practice with the knowledge of how the dance is to look and feel even if he doesn’t quiet have the sharpness--or fluidness--of the dance down yet. thats what hours and hours of practice is for.
and hours upon hours of practice is what he did when he heard about the trc challenge.
the triple threat challenge. he remembers watching the one that happened two years ago. remembers thinking how wild it must be to look for someone who is sufficient in all three of the main skills. thinking the company crazy for thinking any noob the find on the street would work.
yet now here he is kicking his own ass trying to win that title for himself. though, it’s not so much that hyunjoon see’s himself as a triple threat. he knows there is a lot he still needs to work on--skills he can improve upon--but he likes to think the last few months have really balances out his collection of skills. dancing has already always been his strongest thing, he’s a dancer as much as he is a chef now and the trick was just adding in vocal performances to his dancing.
when he was injured hyunjoon took to singing during busking since he couldn’t dance at that time. he gotten to speak with one of his dads old coworkers who worked with vocals and he gave hyunjoon some things to work on if he were serious about singing.
and then he befriended a strange man working in a noraebang who was apparently a rapper. and with yuto’s help, hyunjoon started working on rapping as well. rapping? cool as fuck, so why wouldn’t he want to learn. he had gone with singing originally because he supposed he had an alright voice and singing seemed more tame than rapping but. in the end, he really had wanted to learn rap.
when him and hyojeong planned their live performance of zero for conduct had been the real test for hyunjoon. the real question of can he see himself doing something similar to this for the rest of his life? and yeah, he can. it had been fun learning the song with her. learning dances with his best friend has always been great but there had been something so much more exciting about performing with her in that way. live singing and rapping while dancing? in the busy streets of hongdae where anyone could stop and judge? with no backing vocals? honestly, he had been scared shitless but they absolutely crushed the performance.
he focused that energy--that feeling--into the performance he was using for the triple threat audition. only hyojeong had gotten word of what he was doing but he hadn’t even showed her any bits of his performance. wanting it to be a surprise even to her.
as his name is called, hyunjoon heads up and gives a simple but cool greeting, a polite bow of course thrown in there somewhere but he was making sure his cool vibes could be noticed. it’s not hard, hyunjoon’s stoic nature and ability in fashion often do help him have a good vibe going on even if some he comes off as a cold cool he would accept that. his goal for this? his concept. was to show he can do more than one concept. which is why he walked onto stage and gave his greeting all cool and chill.
뭘 또 심각해 혼자만의 세상 속에 갇힌 채 빙빙 돌다 길을 잃어 You always be like that
괜찮은 척 하지만 귀찮은 척 하지만 아니잖아 아프잖아 더는 못 보겠어 jerk
his performance of choice though is a more chic cute vibe to it than anything. his song choice he felt really did help to showcase all three of the skills they were wanting. the song starts almost a minute and a half in with a vocal part, and then he gets to a rap portion before a more dance orientated section. the hardest part of this performance he chose was near the end after the dance segment there is a long higher note he has to old for a few seconds. a few hours has been dedicated to practicing that line alone and by the end of the night hyunjoon had really felt he would be able to nail it. it wouldn’t be too bad because he wasn’t dancing when holding this note.
천천히 널 일으켜 Follow me 날 따라와 숨 들이 마시고 내쉬고 겁먹을 것 없어 uh
시간은 항상 누구나 같아 거짓으로 살긴 아까워
Original wa woo woo Original wa woo woo
honestly, he worries he might be being a bit too bold with going onto stage and performing his whole song live while dancing. he knows they want to showcase all skills, and singing plus dancing at the same time is some thing pretty much every idol needs to be able to do. but hyunjoon only has a couple of years of dance under his belt--and only a year of singing--so maybe it was a bit much for him to do this.
but it’s not like this is his first time dancing and rapping/singing because it’s not. hyojeong and him spent months working on their zero for conduct performance and on top of that, hyunjoon had added singing into his normal practices to help with is stamina. he supposed that if he could dance and singing or rap to most of the songs that he busks with then he should be able to get it for any song. and maybe he had been on to something.
Ah yeah JY 세상은 무한의 색으로 칠해지길 원해 모두가 마음껏 끝없이 빛 나도 돼 Red yellow green uh 네가 그린 그림 그거면 돼 눈을 가렸던 그 안대를 풀어 잠그던 마음을 반대로 풀어 아무도 우릴 신경 쓰지 않아 just dance
through out his performance, hyunjoon makes sure to channel the energy he has when he’s busking. the facial expressions and dancing adlibs with always seem to make the fans go wild. he throws in peace signs where they fit, and some cool finger hearts when the moment calls for it. it was only around the main chorus of the dance did his voice come off more breathy but luckily this song he chose didn’t have much in the way of singing when it comes to the chorus. his rap is the cleanest part of his whole performance which was thanks to all the work he put into zero for conduct as his part for that song was very intense rapping so hyunjoon was really starting to get the hang of it.
Original Yeah yeah Original All right
as the song comes to an end, he falls back into the cool concept he had walked onto stage with. ending his performance with a stoic look and a calm facade as if he hadn’t just danced all cutely and full of energy. hoping his concept of showing his duality would give him a bit of an edge. regardless, as hyunjoon walks off he feels... content with his performance.
이 세상은 생각보다 아주 작고 넌 그보다 커 숨기지 마 너의 모든 걸 보여줘 그대로의 너
he knows he has a ways to go with his skills and maybe he’ll never reach seungah noonas level. but maybe thats okay, they’re different performers after all.
and at the end of it all.
he had a lot of fun on that stage.
Original
#txt; solo#txt; audition#and here we go#hyunjoons performance is up and done#ytrk#rkhyojeong#rkcheri#rkttc2
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“A Form of Excavation” – Interview with Jihyun Yun on Writing Poetry in Korea and in Diaspora
Jihyun Yun is a Korean-American poet from California. A 2017 Fulbright Junior Research grantee and four-time Pushcart Prize nominee, she received her BA in Psychology from UC Davis and her MFA from New York University. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Bat City Review, 32 Poems, Adroit Journal, AAWW The Margins, and elsewhere. She currently resides in Ann Arbor Michigan where she is editing and querying her first full-length collection Some are Always Hungry. Follow her work on www.jihyunyun.com and on Twitter @jihyunyunpoetry.
Paige Morris: Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with Disoriented. First of all, could you tell me a little about yourself? Your essential or inessential biography, anything you deem noteworthy, is welcome.
Jihyun Yun: Thank you so much for reaching out! I’ve loved so much of what I’ve read on Disoriented and wholeheartedly support your mission, so I’m thrilled to be in dialogue now.
I’m a second-generation Korean-American. Though I was born and raised in California, Korean was my dominant tongue until I entered school, after which I swiftly and deliberately stopped using and forgot much of it. It’s a huge regret of mine that I’m trying to rectify now by practicing Korean as much as possible.
I came to poetry when I was a junior at UC Davis in California. Before then, I was a psychology major actively pursuing a career I wasn’t really equipped for in crisis counseling. The poem that flipped the switch in my head was Li Young Lee’s “Persimmons.” The way the poem handled identity and linguistic estrangement really spoke to me. That one poem was the reason I switched tracks so late in my undergrad to major in English and eventually enroll in New York University’s MFA program. It completely rerouted my life, which I am thankful for.
An inessential piece of biography is that I’m a complete glutton, and my love-language is food. My family and I cook for each other in lieu of saying I love you which I feel is true for many immigrant families. This is embarrassingly prevalent in my poetry.
PM: I, for one, love the centrality of food in your poems. I’m currently an MFA student myself, and in a recent class, a professor of mine—the poet Brenda Shaughnessy—said poets often spend their lives writing the same poem, carving smaller poems out of that one, writing variations on the same theme. How true would you say that is for you and your poetry? What would you say is the poem—the theme, the obsession, the question—you tend to circle back to in your work?
JY: (First of all, swoon. I love Brenda Shaughnessy’s work so much!) I would definitely agree with that idea, at least for myself. My work is obsessed with being the daughter of a family of immigrants, with my family history—particularly my Grandmother’s experience fleeing from North Korea during the war—and with food—both the having of and the dearth of, how food is informed by history or used as a vehicle to survive where you are othered. My poems really circle mostly around the lives of the women I love, so much so that my body of work is almost bereft of men. If they appear, they appear mostly as a vague, ominous force, like dangerous weather.
This vulturing around a handful of topics used to be a source of anxiety for me when I first began writing, but I no longer discredit myself for it. Navigating the same themes is a form of excavation for me. It’s interesting to read back on some of my very first poems about identity and those same obsessions I write about now, seeing how much internalized racism I still held in my throat at age 21, and understanding how far I’ve come.
PM: There are some fantastic, contemporary Korean American poets writing in diaspora today. The access each poet has to the place(s) they write about, from, and/or toward in their work, of course, varies. Some poets like Lee Herrick are said to be writing toward Korea from outside about topics like adoption, location, and exile. Other poets like Emily Jungmin Yoon write poems with dual sensitivities, rooted in both Korea and North America. Where in this diaspora, this conversation, do you see yourself and your poetry?
JY: I think I’m still trying to understand where I fit on this spectrum. On one hand, I know I am an inheritor of much of Korea’s modern history: my Grandparents both lived through the Japanese colonization of Korea and then the war, and my Great-Aunt was a “Western Princess,” a somewhat derogatory moniker that was used to refer to Korean prostitutes on US bases and camp-towns during the Korean War, many of which were conscripted into sexual labor via coercion and desperation. It’s impossible to feel unaffected by their testimonies I grew up listening to, and I believe it informs me in more ways than I fully understand. I feel a personal call to write towards them, but I know I must do so from the position of a guest, not fully rooted in either.
PM: Speaking of place, the first time I encountered your work was during a conference on Jeju Island in South Korea. You were a Fulbright scholar presenting your creative project, a collection of poems exploring the lives of the female divers, the Haenyeo (해녀), in Jeju and Busan. Can you talk about the origins of that project?
JY: I was actually encouraged to apply for the Fulbright grant by my thesis advisor, Yusef Komunyakaa. So many of my thesis poems were about family history and Korea, so when I told him that I’d actually never gone to Korea before except as a two-year-old, he insisted it would be important for me to experience living there.
I’ve been fascinated by the Haenyeo since I was young. My Grandma used to tell me stories, and I remember us watching a television documentary about the tradition together. I think when I first set out to write that project, I felt an urgency knowing that the tradition is slated to disappear in my lifetime.
About halfway through the grant, though, I noticed myself distancing from the project. Not because I was not interested and in awe of these women, but because I realized I wasn’t the right person for this task. I think this goes back to your question about where I see myself on the spectrum of Korean writers of diaspora. As a guest in the country with no familial ties to Jeju, I just ethically didn’t feel right about being the one to write this collection anymore.
I still continued to go observe and interact with the Haenyeo for the duration of my grant, but I no longer wrote poems about their work. Now my Fulbright work-in-progress manuscript is a long-form hybrid essay/memoir about my family’s immigration and repatriation, my feelings about failing the mission of my grant, and just basically being in Korea for the first time as a second-generation Korean. I’m realizing now that there is really no way for me to make that sound at all interesting, but I’m having a great time writing it.
PM: What is most salient to you now about the time you spent living in Korea?
JY: I lived in Busan on a street lined with love motels. A pickup truck drove down my alley every morning with a megaphone atop it announcing the price of hairtail and tilefish. The men on mopeds often nicked my ankles with the business cards they were paid to flick as they drove around the city. There was an old-school liquor store in my neighborhood run out of a grandma’s one-room home. When I went in to buy water or beer, she was usually behind a curtain watching TV. She would tell me to leave the money on the table and take whatever I need. I never even saw what she looks like. I spent many nights on Gwangalli beach, and the light show never failed to make me happy.
In Jeju, I helped a group of Haenyeo harvest a bunch of turban-conch from their shells. I did a homestay at one of the women’s home in a village where no one locked their doors. I went on a Jeju Massacre remembrance tour and listened to the testimony of a living survivor. I went to the basalt beaches and watched tourists enjoy themselves in the water. I took a volcanic rock back home with me in my pocket.
PM: How did your writing process change, if at all, while you were living in Korea?
JY: My time in Korea was such a gift in that it allowed me to treat writing as my full-time job, something I’d never experienced up to that point. In California and New York, I was always juggling writing with waitressing in order to make ends meet. In New York, I sometimes worked upwards of 50 hours a week and put writing on the backburner. I was lucky if I wrote one poem every few months. In Korea, I got to fully commit to immersing myself in the day-to-day life of the city, strike up lazy conversations with strangers and write for hours every day without guilt. Travelling was also a big part of my year in Korea. Most often to Jeju to talk to the Haenyeo, but also often to Uijeongbu, which is the city my mother was raised in and where my Grandparents have recently repatriated to.
PM: In what ways did your experience living in Korea inform your poetry, in the end?
JY: If living in Korea has informed my poetry in a significant way, I don’t think enough time has passed for me to detect it. As someone who had never travelled abroad before, I thought the transformation in my writing would be immediate and obvious, but it hasn’t really been so. Perhaps with more distance and time, though, I’ll look back and realize a shift had occurred without me even knowing it.
What I am thankful for are all the experiences and memories I have that I was able to render into poems. Like exploring Seoul with my Grandma and seeing the city through her eyes like a double-exposed film: the Seoul it is today and the Seoul it was in her youth. Revisiting her old elementary school, and the location where her first love’s cigarette factory used to stand (it’s a shopping complex now). Even if my general tone and way of writing experiences has not changed dramatically, I’m so glad to have so many memories catalogued to wrought poems out of.
PM: What draws you to places as subjects of poems? Are there other places you’re interested in writing about?
JY: This is also within Korea, but I regret never going to Iksan in Jeolla province during my Fulbright year, as that is where my Grandfather is from. My Grandfather’s early life has always been a bit of a question mark to me, but the bits and pieces I am told by my Mother and Grandmother are fascinating. I know he has some living relatives in Iksan, and I would love to talk to them. Whether or not I write about it would depend, though, as I’m not sure if there would be a permission there. But in the future, I would like to write about my Grandfather (and perhaps the other men in my life) more.
PM: What’s next for you? Are there any projects you’re excited to share, poetic or otherwise?
JY: An unexpected gift from my year on the Fulbright is that it helped me finish my first full-length collection of poems which I’d been working on since my MFA. I’m in the process of querying it now at various presses. In April, I am collaborating with The Visible Poetry Project and emerging filmmaker Damani Brissett on a short film based on my poem “All Female.” And I am steadily working on my aforementioned memoir, tentatively titled Our Blue the Hue of Thirst. I’ve never written memoir or lyric essay before and the newness is still giddying.
Photos provided by Jihyun Yun
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