#Oh! I also have the list of blogs/resources I used to run this blog in a post already

[neoprawnouns]

Btw I'm formally putting this blog on hiatus now.

I haven't been enjoying doing this anymore nor do I even use neopronouns myself lol. I've queued up what I still had left in my drafts + I do apologize for how long those took. But yeah outside of a rare post or two I'm probably not going to be using this side blog anymore. Sorry y'all

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hi there! I’m running a Christmas one-shot for a few mates of mine. I’ve told them to make DnD characters because it’s the system they are familiar with (I play a greater variety of systems then they do and I’m determined to infect them with indie ttrpgs eventually). Even though it’s DnD, I was wondering if you knew any cool Christmas related systems I could read up on and maybe borrow a rule or two from and graft in to make the one shot a bit more interesting?

So far I’m thinking either a standard “the magic is fading” plot line or an office comedy, both based in Santas workshop. If you can’t think of anything don’t worry, I’m going to have a look through my library either way and see what I can find.

Love this blog! ❤️

THEME: Christmas Games

Hello friend! This one-shot idea sounds so cool! Let's see what we've got to work with.

Oh Holy… What Happened Last Night? By OopsAllSmurph.

Santa’s out of town until the night of Christmas Eve, but he left you all, a group of his most trusted North Pole townsfolk, in charge of the North Pole until he got back. You did what anyone would do with a magical city at their fingertips -- throw a MASSIVE rager. After a little too much eggnog, you’ve all woken up with 2 problems: A massive hangover, and a North Pole in disrepair.

You’ve got until midnight tonight, Christmas Eve, to put the North Pole back to the way it was (or hide it well enough nobody will noticed) so Santa can leave for his trip around the world without a hitch! 

This a simple one-page game that might work well as inspiration for your office comedy idea, perhaps if your characters have to help all the inhabitants of the North Pole get cleaned up before Santa comes back. You can roll randomly for lost and broken items, and add extra obstacles like find all the stray reindeer, put kids’ names back on the toys, and pay the Grinch his protection money!

Elf in Your Self, by StarshineScribbles.

The Elf:  Fear it. Run from it. No matter what you do, You can't escape it.

Every Christmas, the Elf arrives out of nowhere.  Sitting on your shelf. Leering at you. Trying to make you behave. Trying to enforce compliance with some half-remembered dogma about Naughty and Nice lists.  Also, it might be possessed by a demon…

The only way to return peace to your home is to destroy it before it takes control of your mind.

Elf In Your Self is a game about a dark version of everyone's favorite surveillance-based Christmas decoration.  Players will use a deck of cards to tell the story of their attempts to banish this evil force from their homes. But beware, one wrong move and you may become possessed by the Elf! 

This feels like a game of collaborative go-fish but with a horror-movie twist. You are attempting to put together a ritual that will weaken the Elf in an attempt to get rid of it by the end of the game, but your players will become possessed by the Elf if they are forced to draw from more resources. I suppose you could use this as a mini-game inside a larger story about an Elf that has been causing havoc in Santa’s workshop, or perhaps use the idea of a big bad demon harassing a Christmas Town by possessing an innocent villager.

Christmas Goons, by hechlok.

The wizard Santiclous is looking for a mysterious artifact to light on the top of the Christmas tree - help him save the magic of Christmas!

Ruins, machines, lost gnomes, and Christmas presents await you. Let's get to it, Christmas Goons!

Christmas Goons is a short dungeon crawl that brings your characters through the ruins of a gnomish inventor’s home base. This adventure is designed for Tunnel Goons, but the dungeon map looks like it could be used for any game you like. There are details for each room, with suggested obstacles that you might be able to re-skin for the game of your choice. The adventure is also free!

Oh Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding, by Tim Obermueller.

Over seven nights, you are trying to defend your figgy pudding from increasingly hostile carolers. Good luck!

This is a tactical game of pudding defense, with increasing levels of difficulty as the carolers whittle away at your skills over seven nights. I could see this being some kind of possession or zombie storyline, with the carolers having a mindless fixation on the pudding, and your characters have to spend seven nights/rounds of combat fending them off with different tactics.

A Christmas Belonging, by dannymakesrpgs.

A Christmas Belonging gives you snow covered landscapes, quaint small towns, and the low stakes high drama experience of a made-for-TV Christmas movie. Recreate those cheerful stories of romance and family drama in this collaborative, zero-prep RPG.

This is a diceless game about someone who prioritizes work over family, coming from the big city into a small Christmas town, where they meet someone who changes their outlook on Christmas - and on life. Extremely trophy, extremely cheesy, and great for folks who love taking a genre and pushing it as far as it can go.

I’m not entirely sure how to incorporate this into a traditional D&D game, but perhaps it might be a subplot that goes on in the background; perhaps an adventurer who is here just for treasure meets a cute local who wants them to slow down and experience the meaningful magic of a local holiday. Perhaps this cute local’s magic ritual is exactly what is needed to solve the adventurer’s problem!

You Will Be Haunted by Three Spirits, by Meghan Cross.

You Will be Haunted by Three Spirits is a GMless game for three players about changing the heart of someone who desperately needs it. Each player will take on the role of a spirit as well as collaboratively taking on the  role of the individual being haunted by the spirits.

It is roleplay heavy, GMless game that is played in three rounds as each of the spirits reaches out to the Haunted in an attempt to soften their heart and convince them to change their ways. All that is needed for play is this game text and a set of dice. Players will each take on the role of one of the visiting spirits as well as collaboratively playing the role of the Haunted as they are visited by the spirits attempting to save their soul and change their heart. 

This is probably my favourite holiday trope. It is probably the most heartfelt game on this list, and the least likely to travel into goofy territory. The biggest obstacle to using this game its that it requires three players only if you play as written - one to be the Past, one to be the Present, and on to be the Spirit of What Is To Come.

However, if you want to use it as inspiration, you might set up the party with the job of convincing their Haunted to change their ways so that the magic of Christmas is returned before it is too late. You could have some characters taking on the embodiment of different Spirits, while others work to bring about the miraculous events of the past, present and future. If you want to embody some of the magic and warmth of Christmas, this might be the game for you.

[sayitaliano]

Hi ! Do you have any italian blog recommendations ? I ended up following a conspirationnist because i don't speak a lot pf italian 😅

Ciao! I don't follow too many Italian blogs and honestly I have been away from tumblr for a while so I am not sure how many of the Italian blogs I used to interact with are still active. You can find a list of Italian langblrs I used to recommend in the resources masterpost (check @sayitalianohome)

But to mention a few @sciogli-lingua @langsandlit @unearthitaly are run by Italians and generally may also help you with your Italian studies (Mirko @langsandlit also teaches Italian). There are also these Italian bloggers I occasionally have interacted with: @lowsodium-freak @aslothslangblr @ashbakche @nusta @exterminate-ak @giuliaisstudying and for sure there are much more but I cannot remember their blogs' names too well so Italians, feel free to tag yourself or any suggestion you have on here. Oh @diari0deglierrori posts a lot about Italian stuff.

And if you need support in translating anything, let me know!

edit: in fact forgot to mention @urluch-in-dla-nebia (usually post about Lombardy and lumbard minority language the most)

edit#2: check the reblogs ;)

[hlcevr-tech-support]

hey Coda, 🌂 anon here! My entire body feels like it’s going to explode for a thousand different reasons i’m using text to speech right now because I can’t type this without typos ok good stuff fist fuck I mean firstoh my God it worked it worked it worked it worked it worked I don’t know what the fuck she did but they are real! they are alive! and for some reason they think I miss Pauling.(i don’t think I sound like her and I’m probably nowhere near as competent) I didn’t think it worked until I heard solder waking everyone up for the day. And they are like realy real???? I know I already said that but now I mean that they are literally the team like The team! The voices are identical they act the same and they where just going around there day like it wasn’t the first one of there entire lives?! On the one hand I’m actually one hand I’m actually talking to the tf2 characters And they actually like me! On the other they just say stuff like “hello miss Pauling, has mister Whatsitnow finally paid us for the assassination of his fifth cousin or are we going to have to break into the vault that he owns? also we are possibly low on wine put that on the order list.” And I have to be like yep I know what is going on all of the time mister spy dad man yep!!! Luckily there wasn’t to much of that because of they were too caught up with map that we (they?) spawned in it’s a weird mix of all the playable Mabs in the game, there conclusion is ether merasmus or major teleporter malfunction

ok sorry for the text wall i just talk a lot when I’m trying to process things and that wasn’t all good news anyway but onto something I can’t make heads or tails of so “she” (the tech goddess that actually brought them to life) said that my only payment is that I have to go run some “errands” for her I don’t know what that means but she says they will be consequences if I don’t, And I was like what do you mean? And she said if your files were secure I wouldn’t have been able to put them there… (not an exact grout I mean “) so I’m scared for my life and even more scared for theirs, oh God oh fuck these are the first friends I’ve made since high school help what do I do Coda?!?!?! Keep you updated, i’m going to scream for three hours straight.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit!

Okay so!!!!

First of all, awesome!!! Your friend has created functioning, Sentient AI of the Mercs! That’s cool as hell! I wonder if Mister Rat Rust (my nickname for Merasmus) is Sentient AI too…he’s my blorbo.

Second of all! Oh boy…

Hopefully whatever errands this person asks you to do aren’t like…super duper illegal or anything? Like, I dunno what to do about that??? I just run the tech support blog. My job is to provide tech support for the funny crowbar man video game and the website that lets you export the little guys from it.

Actually, maybe you’ll be able to export them with the SMST website? I dunno. I gotta ask Soupy’s team how well it would accept their files. He said somebody he knew got AI to APPEAR in Hunt Down the Freeman but he never said if those ai got exported.

I dunno. Try whatever resources you have to if you’re worried about the Mercs’ safety. Though to be honest, I think you should prioritize your life a little more right now! The Mercs live on the computer and can have their data restored if they die. You don’t have the same benefit, so stay safe!

-Coda

[romaine2424]

Daily Blog July 3, 2023

Not feeling chatty today, too many errands and chores to do. At least I don't have to buy fireworks this year for the 4th of July. They were just outlawed last year where I live. Before that, we were all out in the street shooting of aerials and and lots of other things. Neighbors around the corner always put on quite the show. Had a few scary moments over the years. But it was all fun until the clean up!

What I'm reading:

Oh wow Everybody Hates a Tourist by anon for the @hd-wireless fest definitely earned it's right to open the fic portion of the fest. It created quite the atmosphere in Brighton were we find one Draco Malfoy living the gay Muggle scene for the last 8 years.

Summary:

On a stag do in sunny Brighton with the Gryffindor lads, the last person Harry expects to run into is Draco Malfoy. After a glimpse of Malfoy’s Muggle life in Britain’s gay capital, Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself returning to the seaside again and again, drawn to the city, drawn to this new version of Malfoy that Harry barely recognises from school. Meanwhile, Draco’s just trying to live his big and best queer life: working for the weekend, chasing hot men, getting lost in Brighton's nightlife, and making friends with the neighbourhood cats. Why does his former school rival and crush have to show up and spoil everything?

There was so much to enjoy about this fic given the summertime atmosphere and just hanging out in the pubs, having some smokes, and eating bits of this and that. Harry in this fic is going through some changes in his life but is still on solid ground physically and mentally. We think Draco is too, but there is a vulnerability there and, of course, Harry wants to fix it. One of my favorite things about this fic is Harry's innocence but also sense of adventure. Draco introducing him bit by bit to his lifestyle and the atmosphere of Brighton and Harry is wide-eyed but also enthusiastic. Very cute. Oh and asking for gossip about fellow classmates was a riot. Poor innocent Harry. :) A lovely feel-good fic with definite moments of seriousness. Read and definitely give MA some love with comments!

Everybody Hates a Tourist on AO3

Drarry Tumblr Fic/Art Resources

I know most of you are probably already following @thedrarrylibrarian, but not everyone goes to the home page of someone's Tumblr site. This is a must for @thedrarrylibrarian because there is so much packed into a few links. The first thing you should do is read the FAQ on the home page before you get started. Especially if you're looking for a type of fic. Some fic genres and tropes aren't covered. Also, if you're looking for a specific fic, this is not the place as noted. That is @lostdrarryfics, another great drarry fandom resource.

What is on here is a Card Catolog, which gives a plethora of subject matters to find fics under. Like Beach Reads, or Spy!Draco or Raising Teddy. And even better, they are being continually updated.

Also there is the Reference Section, which is extremely helpful. Here's a few examples: How to Tag your Fic, How to Gain Friends & Friends Writing Fanfic, and How to Write Fanfic Summaries!

The last category, I've mentioned before and that is Friends of the Library, which is a list with links to the collaborations with other writers/artists/reccers/friends, which includes The Happy Hour events.

And finally, you can always ask for a type of fic(s) to fulfill a certain want or need. :)

A lot of work has gone into the site. It's very easy to use, which I particularly am a fan of. So go play around and see what you can discover in the @thedrarrylibrarian!

Tomorrow is a holiday and I'm not sure I'll be making a post as we have some family plans. Hope everyone enjoys their week!

Rom

[jaidethalagorra]

Character/scene concept

On the one hand, characters who can truthfully state they've never lost a fight are terrifying. Especially villains. (Example: Melania from Elden Ring.)

But as a cooler thought, a character that knows the exact number of times they've lost is so much scarier. Especially if they then proceed to list them and what they learned from them, finishing with why the person they're about to fight is going to die painfully.

Example under the break: (Oh my god it was longer than I thought)

"Do you know how many times I've lost a fight, Dawnstar? I don't think you do.

I have lost 7 fights in my life.

The first four were hardly fights. Bullies at my school saw me as a target, someone easy to hurt and belittle. They kicked me, punched me, made me bleed. 4 times they did that. Until one day I decided I had enough. I showed them what real power was, and they never touched me again. Do you know what I learned from that, Dawnstar? I learned that the world hurts. The world is cruel and careless and only through more hurt can you make it better.

The fifth fight I lost was when I joined the Hero Coalition. I had just arrived and I thought I was on top of the world. I went to the training arena and was knocked flat on my back within seconds. From that I learned that only when you learn to control power with precision, wield it like a knife that you can begin to change things. Power is everything. But only with precision can it really be used. I went back after that, weeks later. I used my power like a knife and I taught the man who thought he could beat me every time what I'd learned and he never touched me again.

The sixth fight taught me that the system was broken. I was at the Coalition again, fighting against Powersteel. I was winning. This was a fight to fill a spot of the top 5, the council of heroes that runs this city. Finally I could stop all the hurt across this city. Finally I could wield the true power of the Coalition to strike out against injustice. And Powersteel shot me. Right then and there, in the training ring, he shot me. When I regained consciousness in the hospital, Gigaman told me that Powersteel would be filling the role in the top 5. His resourcefulness in breaking the rules and shooting me showed an 'ability to think outside the box' and that if I truly wanted to be a top 5 hero I should be able to take a bullet. When I heard that, I realized the truth. Even though we're the heroes, the Coalition is broken. We are just as capable of hurt and injustice as the rest of this city. So I went back. And I taught him what real power is. How to use your power like a knife. How to fix the world, for the better.

The last fight I lost, Dawnstar, was my fight against you. There I learned two things. First, I understood how the system that the Coalition created stays in power. Because heroes like you won't look through their golden lies. They want to change the world for the better and will accept any lie or handicap given to them if they can be convinced it would be better. The Coalition told you I was out of control. That I wanted revenge and nothing more. And that by defeating me, you could ascend to the top 5 and be a force for women like us, to show the world we can do it. And you were so desperate to please, so desperate to change that you fought me without hesitation. I tried to tell you what they were doing but you wouldn't see. You couldn't see past their pretty lies.

But do you know what the second thing I learned was, Dawnstar? I learned how you fight. I learned how you think, how you act, how your powers work. I spent years in prison teaching myself how to defeat you. I've learned from my losses, Dawnstar. I've taught myself what power is, how to use it, how to kill. How to never make the same mistake twice.

So. Are you ready?"

Also, because I hate AI and this is an art blog now, here's my godawful illustration of this concept!

[jasper-dracona]

The only thing I ever saw on the internet almost as often as I saw tumblr screenshots was Reddit stories. Plus, yeah, it was a really good resource for getting a question answered, so we saw Reddit come up a lot when we were curious or confused about something. That site of y’all’s was a helpful friend sometimes, and we appreciated that :)

Oh, and the fact that the site was very user-run and functioned on the work of dedicated volunteers is very much a spirit that I think Tumblr vibes with. Like, xkit makes our site function how we want it to, and maybe I’m just too new a user to know (joined 2018) but, as far as I can tell, that’s operated and updated by a mysterious ring of volunteer wizards or something.

But think of yourself here as your own mini-mod! Filter tags related to things you keep seeing but don’t care about, filter tags of things you find scary or gross, filter tags related to political discussions or sensitive topics that you’re not always ready to hear about, block people who post about stuff you don’t like or don’t care about, and don’t feel ashamed to unfollow someone if they’ve stopped posting about stuff you like!

My filtered tag list is pretty long compared to most, other people have blocked a lot more blogs than me, but it accomplishes approximately the same goal of making sure that my Tumblr has stuff I wanna see and is a place I want to go and look at stuff. I know it’s not gonna be filled with unnecessary discourse, or a show I don’t like, or news about something really bad and depressing. It’s gonna be fanart of shows and games I like, positive messages, stupid jokes, radical queerness and helpful advice!

I stopped using instagram after I joined an activism group and made some friends and followed them all on there, because all they would do all day every day was share posts about depressing stuff about big political topics, and how we need to be doing more about this and this and this too, and doing more and more and more and I couldn’t stand to open the app anymore. Never gonna have that problem here and it’s great.

Anyway some examples of tags I have filtered:

#dsmp - ‘cause I could not give less of a fuck

#abortion ban - too heavy to be hearing about all the time

And an example of the other way around: a friend of mine has ornithophobia, fear of birds. But I LOOOVE birds, so that’s kind of a problem, right? Wrong! I just have to remember to quickly add the tags #tw bird and #bird tw so I can reblog all the bird pictures I want without her having to see them, because I know she has that tag filtered!

So yeah, welcome to Tumblr, Reddit refugees! Be your own mod, don’t be shy about filtering, unfollowing, or blocking, and also don’t tell anyone to stop posting about something you find annoying, because that’s what those features are there for.

[squadrah]

Wait forget the character bingo ask I didn't know you filled it already (😅)

If la Squadra had a complete free for all fight, with adequate amount of times to prepare, who do you think is winning?

There's 2 separate fights. One is just physical strength (to accommodate for sorbet and gelato) and with stands.

Weapons not allowed unless made by stands (to accommodate for sorbet and gelato, they're probably expert at that)

Personally, I think Illuso is loosing the stand battle unless it takes place in a home. Melone would be second last because he can only make 1 junior at a time.

Dear Anon: don't you worry, I originally considered posting it so people could send in characters, and then I thought I should really do a team one so I went ahead and did that, but individual ones are fun, too! Here's the one I did for Prosciutto on my main blog if anyone wants a gander at that!

I love the questions you sent, and I actually do have some ready-made resources for you that I can use to round out my answers with Gelato and Sorbet, ehehe.

PHYSICAL STRENGTH COMPETITION

Originally I got asked a similar question on CuriousCat, so I'm going to grab that answer from my drafts and revise it for this ask.

Risotto definitely feels like number one based on size and bulk alone. He's ripped and over two meters tall (fuck the updated height chart, he's forever 202 cm), and has three years of experience assassinating people as an ordinary person, so even someone as feisty as Ghiaccio and Gelato will struggle.

I would put Ghiaccio next, but oh, my god, Pesci. While Ghiaccio uses White Album to confer extra strength onto him, Pesci has to rely on his own strength for Beach Boy, so the fact that he could support the weight of two people with his Stand means he has incredible core strength. Even his fighting spirit is no problem where the stakes are making Prosciutto his team proud!

Ghiaccio comes third on the list because skating and butterfly stroke require a lot of strength and stamina to pull off, and if anyone has the energy and determination to go all out physically, it is this guy. I see your anger and your thunder thighs, Ghiaccio.

In my original draft, Formaggio came next, but in this new version, he is preceded by Gelato because he is way more hardened and also ridiculously into fighting. Gelato is similar to Ghiaccio in this respect, but while the latter runs on rage, Gelato is in it for the sheer thrill of wrestling for control. He's like the Black Knight from Monty Python, except he's laughing as he tells you it's just a flesh wound.

The next one is a tie; let's see Formaggio first. From his aesthetic and build, he's clearly strong enough to hold his own in a fight, even if he is not as trained as most of those above his rank. Consider him your average fit guy who sometimes lifts when he can be bothered, and cruises by on trick moves to get the upper hand. Meanwhile, Illuso is very tall and probably has great reach with those long limbs, and above all, he might allow defeat to those before him, but he would never want to lose to Formaggio himself. That said, if you hit him right just once, he'll be on defense the rest of the time.

Prosciutto is next and my all-time favorite form is the one on the updated height chart: long legs, stick build, delicate and grim as he should be. That said, based on how he sends Pesci to the floor in canon, Prosciutto knows how to work with angles and timing, so while he can absolutely be overpowered by those larger and stronger than him, you have to beware the kicks and punches.

Sorbet ranks below Prosciutto despite his slightly bigger build because he is actually averse to physical altercation. He loves to snipe, but as soon as someone gets close enough, he's so over it. Almost as elusive as Illuso too, so if he lasts longer than he ought to have, it's because he was picking his hiding places well.

As for Melone… he should not be doing anything physical. His posture is a mess and he's as skinny as Prosciutto but puts himself out on the field even less. Who even let him fight.

STAND BATTLE VS. WEAPONRY

First, I will link a resource: I started publishing a series of headcanon posts about La Squadra's Stands on Ao3, and for Ghiaccio's chapter, I included a very detailed rundown of hypothetical Stand fights to determine if he might be the strongest Stand in Vento Aureo (spoiler alert: he is). Check it out here!

With that out of the way, and just so nobody has to read that to have some fun with this question, here are my general thoughts:

1) For this battle, they would have to lay down some general rules like you did, specifically for handicapping the more lethal Stands. Without that, Prosciutto would automatically win unless Ghiaccio remembered to stock up on frozen air and plug his air hole in the back. With that in mind, the rules are: Prosciutto can only age a minimal amount and cannot use any ice for himself; Ghiaccio can only use his armor and no additional ice; Risotto cannot use Metallica on a person directly; Pesci's hook cannot target vital organs; Formaggio can only shrink himself; Illuso cannot take anyone or their Stand inside the mirror.

2) For weapons, I would love to give Gelato and Sorbet something potent but not lethal. Gelato I think would appreciate one of those rubber truncheons used by the Naples Pigs and Bacon Department, and Sorbet would get something like a paint gun to uh, ink everyone's splat zones, I guess. For him specifically, the rule is that he wins when he gets paint on at least two vital areas, or a clean head shot. (Yes, Mista survived three bullets to the temple at point blank range, but nobody on La Squadra is that favored by Araki God, so.)

3) I see your predictions and they are not wrong, but I wouldn't give Melone a single Junior because they take so much time to make that he would get pummelled before he could pull this off (not to mention no parents around if this is between La Squadra only); instead Baby Face Computer is allowed to use weapons like Sorbet and Gelato, and it is currently wielding a knife. Terrifying.

4) With all these restrictions, I feel like it all boils down to sheer moxie. Formaggio is one of the most formidable of the bunch at this point because his Stand has a built-in blade, he can play with his own size to dodge, AND he has the courage. Illuso has amazing maneuverability with mirror shards, but I feel like he teeters a lot between overconfidence and playing it too safe. Pesci is possibly overpowered because of the damage deflection ability of Beach Boy's line - he would probably need to bide his time until everyone else has fallen to focus on the last person and trap them to win. Prosciutto is still powerful, but he's not nearly as fast as the others; here his edge is more psychological because of the way The Grateful Dead looks and moves. Baby Face Laptop has a similar advantage, but it is much smaller, so there's that. Risotto, bless his heart, can only win by properly cornering someone with makeshift knives, which is no easy task when some move around unpredictably. Ghiaccio has to rely on brute force to win, which is no problem, but those aware of the air hole or targeting his visor would probably get the better of him. (Imagine if Sorbet got paint all over it and it just hard-froze over his head...) As for Sorbet and Gelato, well... Sorbet would be very patient about it, and I bet he manages at least one headshot and a few vitals elsewhere. Gelato, on the other hand, would incur the most damage inflicted because he'd just go about truncheoning every single person he sees until he gets knocked away by their Stand, and then he'd pick himself up and do it all over again to somebody else. He makes it into at least the final three, but who the final ones are, I will leave to the imagination based on the above, haha.

There! Hope you enjoyed these!

[copperbadge]

ADHD Screening

A couple of people asked me how I went about getting my ADHD screening, both how I found somewhere to get screened and how I arranged a screening that was more involved than “being asked questions combatively by a psychiatrist”. I was fortunate in that I can remember the multiple evaluations my brother had to go through as an autistic person, so I knew kind of what to look for when getting evaluated, but I realized not everyone has that context. So here’s how I did it!  

This is Statesider-centric, but if folks outside the US want to talk about how you go about doing it in your country feel free to reblog. Folks who have been evaluated anywhere, whether or not you received a diagnosis, are also welcome to drop their own experiences into comments/reblogs (as usual, please don’t send asks I would have to repost). 

Finding a Clinic: 

I have insurance that doesn’t require me to get a referral and I don’t have a primary care doctor, so I just googled “ADHD screening adult chicago” and started looking at websites. If you have insurance that requires a referral, you may need to speak to whoever you normally see about your health. A lot of places will still do the evaluation without coverage, but it may be a significant cost.

While researching, I made a google sheet that listed the URL, name of the clinic, and their appointment phone/email. I started contacting them one at a time and logging when and how I contacted them. If I didn’t hear back within 24 hours, I moved on. I’d had an initial bad experience with a place that repeatedly failed to respond, which Yelp informed me was a chronic issue, so I resolved not to bother with anywhere that wouldn’t hit me back promptly. I ended up going with the third place I contacted, which was the first place I heard back from. 

What to look for:

You want a place with a website that lists a clear way to contact them, their physical location so that you can make sure you can get there, and at least a few of the staff, with brief bios and qualifications. I avoided single-person clinics because I wanted somewhere with more extensive resources for evaluation. I leaned towards clinics affiliated with medical centers. 

I also leaned towards sites that offered resources for people with ADHD and that had discussions of the evaluation process. If the website doesn’t discuss the evaluation process that’s not necessarily a no-go, but you should be sure when you speak with them that either they offer more information or they answer clearly with that information when asked for it. If they get defensive about it when asked, dump them and move on. 

For example, I got an initial email about how it’s a five-hour evaluation with a psychiatrist. As we moved through the process I was also told that no studying is required, I should bring water and snacks, that a bathroom would be available, and we could break if I needed to. You don’t necessarily need to get all of that but you should know what’s going to happen, in a general sense, ahead of time.  

What’s going to happen?  

First I was sent documents to fill out -- a medical history, an insurance form, and an initial questionnaire. Because I was coming in without a referral, they did an intake via zoom where I spoke with someone who asked about my history and set me up with an evaluation. I did more history at the start of the evaluation, including a discussion of my familial relations -- my brother’s autism and how that has impacted me, my family life growing up, etc. We also discussed you guys! I told her a bit about my social media readership and what kinds of things I talk about on tumblr. (”So you run a blog about organization?” “Oh no. It’s mostly pop culture analysis. Some photos of my cats. Fandom.” “Oh! Fandom! That’s fun.” If you’re reading this, Dr. M., you were great.)  

As far as I’ve seen, most evaluations involve questionnaires, and some but not all that include cognitive tests along with the questionnaires. Cognitive testing isn’t necessarily better, but I did go out of my way to find a place that would do cognitive testing because I preferred the additional data. Questionnaires on their own seem fine. Cognitive testing on its own I would avoid; you want your lived experience to be included in consideration. 

During the evaluation, I took a number of questionnaires about my behavior as a child and as an adult, my social relationships, my views on myself and others, and my drug and drinking habits (a lot, to the point where I was like “Bro do you know something about my drinking that I don’t?” but that could be unique to the clinic I went to.)  

Based on conversations with friends, I answered as I would if I didn’t have coping mechanisms, or as one friend put it, “on a bad day”. While I don’t lose things because I’ve spent decades training myself to give everything a “place to live”, I know that if I don’t do that I will lose stuff often, so I answered “often” to the statement “I lose everyday belongings more than most people.” However, I’ve never been an impulsive person so I still answered “no” to questions like “I am a daredevil” and “I often do dangerous things without thinking.” 

Scattered throughout these questionnaires were cognitive tests. I was asked to assemble blocks in certain shapes, listen to lists of words and numbers and recite them back, match patterns in colors and shapes, watch a video of flashing letters and hit a button after certain letters, et cetera. When doing the cognitive testing, as with the questionnaire, I avoided using “memory tricks” that I would normally use. (For instance, she read a list of words that began “Truck, cabbage, giraffe,” and I deliberately stopped myself from building a mental image of a giraffe driving a produce truck, a learned skill I would normally employ in order to cue myself to remember the list.)

They were nonjudgmental about my performance on these tests, which were given in a quiet, private room with good lighting and appropriate accessibility tools. For some tests she read aloud instructions that were also on a tablet screen in front of me, and whenever she couldn’t give me more help on a test she said so. 

Afterward

At the end of the  evaluation, they gave me a timeline for when I might hear back (early April; I have no idea if that length of time is normal but it’s not especially surprising) and next steps -- regardless of diagnosis they’d meet with me again to go over the information, and if I had a diagnosis we would discuss my options in terms of treatment. I fully expect that if I do get a diagnosis and we decide to try medication, I’ll have some fairly detailed discussions with them about options, side effects, life impact, and given the nature of ADHD medication, addiction and withdrawal.  

Good luck friends! I am on a quest to find out What The Fuck’s Up With Me and I hope you and I can both get some answers! 

[castle-dimitrescu]

Duke x Alcina hcs because I have neverending brainrot (and yes I actually ship this)

The duke ADORES Alcina so fucking much it's ridiculous

He can't help but admire her

They only use pet names. If they say each other's real names you know something is VERY wrong

Duke will BATHE Alcina in compliments

She just soaks up his love and smothers him in kisses

When they cuddle the duke just worships her every curve and imperfection

Her crow's feet and laugh lines make him MELT

He runs his hands up and down the curves of her hips over and over cus he just loves them so much

It's not even sexual admiration he just thinks her whole body is a masterpiece

Even the rolls of her belly when she sits down make him melt

"Darling if only I could do justice to your body by painting it, but unfortunately I don't have the hands of a god"

He finds new poetic ways to describe her beauty

She just adores it so much

She loves his chubby little cheeks so much

She loves cupping them in her hands and just gazing at him

She loves smothering his face in kisses

Cus whenever she does it he gets all red in the face and giddy with joy

He makes sure to use super good quality chapstick and lip balm so his lips are perfectly soft because "I need to make sure my lips are worthy of being kissed by a goddess"

He buys her GORGEOUS dresses and has them custom-tailored to her

She just absolutely spoiled by him

But don't worry she returns the favor

Cus they believe in gender equality >:3

She gives him tons of affection and kisses

She buys gorgeous smelling candles for him

She makes his FAVORITE wines and buys his favorite liquors

She sings to him and plays piano for him

They're very classy about their relationship tho

They keep public displays of affection to a minimum and you would never guess they were in love, just very respectful of each other

But when they're alone?

THEY LOVE BIRDS

The daughters have gotten used to it and even treat the duke like their dad

They call him "papa" "dad" even some goofy nicknames

Dani calls him "pug" cus he reminds her of a chubby pug

One of Alci's nicknames for him is "munchkin"

They behave a lot like Gomez and Morticia Adams

Just the purest most affectionate form of love

They love tasting wines together

He loves making her laugh

they love playing games together like poker or blackjack but mainly chess

cus they're both REAAAALLY good at it and they love trash-talking and flirting

sometimes they combine trash talk and flirting and the result is BIZARRE

it's so fun to watch them play chess tho cus they have the BEST comebacks

watching them play speed chess is fucking WILD

it's like watching a battle between two master boxers

but it's an intense battle of witts

they both speak TONS of different languages and they often speak to each other in them just cus they can

the duke's favorite is french and Italian

they also like learning dead or dying languages like Somali and Irish and old scots

Alcina serenades the duke in old french and Latin and it MELTS HIS HEART

there's also a song in Irish Gaelic called "Mo Ghille Mear" (my gallant hero) that Alcina loves singing for him cus it's just so fucking gorgeous

let's say they're in an au where they know about technology and video games

they love playing intellectual strategy games together

like civilization 6 is one of their faves

Alcina always chooses a cultural victory and the duke tries to go for a scientific victory

idk if any of yall know what the fuck I'm talking about but oh well lol

They also have a survival world on Minecraft together

They love building huge ornate builds together

like they have a home base that's a recreation of Castle Dimitrescu

Alcina does the bulk of the mining and hunting for resources and duke does the bulk of the building

I've exhausted myself from the excitement this gave me but I might post more hcs if yall like these. Hell, I might start doing those hc list things some blogs do where people send an ask requesting hcs for a ship. Hope you like these cus I shared them with a discord server and they loved them so much i just had to share them with you guys.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this blog, it’s helped me so much throughout my journey 💕 do you have any advice for feeling left out/dealing with internalized amatonormativity? I’m at that age where my friends are getting married and having kids and I’m genuinely happy for them, but as a single aroace who’s never so much as been on a date (and doesn’t ever want to) I can’t shake the little voice in my head saying there’s something wrong with me for not having those experiences, or that I’m just lying to myself about being happy single, even though I know those things aren’t true. it’s gotten to the point where I’m now avoiding social media completely - which I don’t want to do, since it’s the main way I can keep up with my long-distance friends - because it feels like every time I open it up I’m just hit with another reminder that I’m different.

Alright, so two thoughts.

First, it's good to keep in mind that people are social creatures. For better or worse we're very influenced by people around us and if everyone else around us fits into the same mold, we usually want to fit into that too. So yeah, society at large tells us we should get married and have kids, but it's a lot easier to internalize it when everyone else you know is doing it too.

So this is a lot of words to say one thing that may help a lot may be expanding your social group and get some single friends too. If you want to meet other ace or aro people, than that's even better. And if you're not sure how to meet other ace or aro people, Aces and Aros is a great resource for seeing if there's any meetups near you. Otherwise there's a lot of online communities, especially on places like Discord.

Otherwise to meet people could be things like taking a class, getting involved in a hobby, etc. But knowing other people who aren't doing the marriage and kids thing or prioritizing other parts of their life can make a big difference and help you feel less lonely.

Media is great too, try and focus more on found family type media over anything that centres on relationships as the big happy ending. So Star Trek and Kung Fu Panda for example. Anything with ace or aro characters is good too, podcasts and books are probably the best way to find ace/aro characters these days, and you can find lists. Personally I've really liked the Jughead 2015 run from Archie comics where Jughead is canonically ace and heavily coded as aro.

Following ace/aro people or positivity blogs can also help a bit.

And just in general avoid anything that's amplifying amatonormative messaging.

Which brings me to my second thought, it's probably a really good idea to avoid social media for the time being. Especially ones like Facebook and Instagram where people are doing a lot of sharing of their personal lives. And the big reason for this is that social media isn't giving us an accurate view of other people's lives. It's showing us a very curated version.

In real life relationships are hard, and can vary a lot on how good they actually are. Social media doesn't show the work, or the fights or any of the more negative side of relationships. And that can really amplify the 'oh wow I'm really missing out here' feeling.

You don't have to cut it out entirely, especially if it's your only way of keeping up with some people. But you can do things like only go on it once or twice a week, or try and manipulate the algorithms so they aren't showing you the type of posts that are bothering you, or see if you can add counter stuff to your feed to kind of water it down a bit and see some ace/aro friendly stuff. You can also take a break for a bit until you've got this more under control, and those posts shouldn't bother you as much.

So yeah, that's all stuff that should help. The other thing is that these kind of feelings aren't really something you can just turn off, even if you can logic your way to seeing that they're not accurate to real life. But the more ace/aro positive input you get and amatonormative input you get rid of, the more that should help a lot.

Sometimes other techniques can help too, fake it till you make it. Even if you don't believe it, keep telling yourself you don't need a romantic relationship/kids to be happy. Write it out a bunch in a journal. If you find yourself thinking amatonormativity might be right, consciously catch it and correct it. So if you find yourself thinking "Maybe I'm not happy single" say "I generally enjoy my life the way it is now, and relationships are not a magic potion to happiness and in fact how happy people are in relationships can vary quite a bit."

So yeah, hopefully that helps.

All the best, Anon!

[sinnohqueen]

list of urls/blogs i have that nobody asked for but discord is down and im bored anyway

tsunade-hime ; was a naruto blog but i was like 'well im too lazy to tag shit anyway and idk why am i hiding my passion for naruto women on another blog. slap that shit on main'

julesyena ; made this when i was still in my twitch streaming era and i was going with a new username but obviously i never streamed again and i stopped caring oops

sinnohking ; one time when i had anon on years ago someone sent me an asking telling me they hoped i would find my sinnoh king one day. i laughed in lesbian and hoarded the URL. used to be an art reference blog, is now a kpop blog that i actually dont use anymore. embarrassing amount of bts on there. sorry everyone (at least i saved you all from seeing it on my main blog)

darkpulse ; think a friend gave me this url??? using it for a writing resource blog, again hasnt been updated in 1+ year. maybe some day i will revamp it. it could be an oc blog idk

jortshipping ; sometimes i forget that am and i were solely responsible for coining the official name for the malva/cynthia/diantha ship. also hasnt been updated in a very long time because theres barely content for malva/diantha as it is :(

sinnohmeme ; a while back i thought it was funny to hoard this url. that's it

sinnohkingdomfics ; i said one day that i was going to finally get back into writing and posting fanfiction. literally did NOT happen. it's there just in case but oh well

pokegifstudios ; tried running a pokemon gif blog again before realizing i actually get more notes on this account also i was bored AIOSDIJSAD i want to get back into gif making eventually so like. idk. i'll probably just use my main

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

Why I Can’t Read the Harry Potter Series the Same Way Anymore

 (I know this is different from the stuff I usually post on this blog but… frankly I wrote three pages to vent about this and I wanted to publish it somewhere so just bear with me.)

So, I know what this looks like. However, this is not because of the… real life misgivings of J.K. Rowling. As a trans person myself, yes, she is transphobic. Also, she lies about what her books actually contain to seem more progressive than she actually is, like claiming Hermione was always black when she was described and pictured as white in the books and then played by Emma Watson in the movies that Rowling was personally involved with the production of. But that’s not what I’m here to argue because frankly, that’s an old argument and while it does taint my view of the author, it’s not what taints my view of the books.

I should preface this with this: I don’t hate Harry Potter. I read all the books and watched all the movies. I was an active fan of the series for a long time and I still enjoy the world and the characters. Heck, I still sort my friends and characters into Hogwarts houses for the fun of it. However, overtime, some of my issues with this series have started to weigh on my mind more and more as I’ve gotten older. I mentioned the Hogwarts Houses, which while it’s fun to sort characters outside of Harry Potter into these houses, the way they’re handled in the series is lazy at best and problematic at worst. First off, nearly every good character is in Gryffindor, while Slytherin is almost entirely made up of villains. Gryffindor is the designated good house where all the “brave” people go when barely anyone there actually embodies the house traits, besides Neville, Hermione, and maybe Harry. If you wanted a variety of personalities in one place, maybe you shouldn’t have made your sorting system based on personality!

In fact, here’s a whole list of characters who should not be in Gryffindor:

-Ron Weasley (Hufflepuff. He’s super loyal to the point where him leaving his friends in the final book felt out of character)

-Fred and George Weasley (Slytherin, they are some of the most ambitious, cunning characters in the whole series. Opening a joke shop IS an ambition and is a great example of a non-evil ambition.)

-Ginny Weasley (Also ambitious with her Quidditch to the point of spending years sneaking out to practice on a broom before she attended Hogwarts.)

-Percy Weasley (Ambition is his whole thing. He’s even a darker side of ambition. Him coming back to his family would be more meaningful if he were a Slytherin!)

-Dumbledore (Ravenclaw or Slytherin. He manipulated the ever-loving hell out of Harry, which I’ll get to, and is known as clever, wise, and a little eccentric. Either house could’ve been a better fit for him than Gryffindor.)

-Hagrid (Either Hufflepuff or Slytherin. Hufflepuff seems like the best fit for his current personality but Slytherin makes the most sense considering his backstory and history with Tom Riddle. The SuperCarlinBrothers made a really good video explaining this called “What House Was Hagrid in.” Go watch that.)

Leading into my next issue with the Hogwarts Houses, I have a serious issue with how Slytherin house is represented.

This has been said multiple times but the fact that every single Slytherin in the series is either evil (Voldemort, Bellatrix), assholes (Draco, Snape), morally gray (Slughorn, Regulus Black), or not in the core seven books (Albus Potter, Scorpious Malfoy, and Merlin), is extremely problematic. It makes the line between good and evil incredibly obvious and clear cut, with hardly any effort to blur those lines. The closest thing we got, especially in the author’s eyes, was Snape, who was not redeemed. He just wasn’t. He was a bully to his students, emotionally and physically, to the point where Neville’s biggest fear was him, and yet it’s suddenly all okay because he was in love with Harry’s deceased mother? That’s not how this works. His actions are not suddenly all okay because of that and frankly, he didn’t do enough to warrant saying he redeemed himself, besides indirectly letting Harry know that he needed to die to defeat Voldemort through the memories in the Pensieve, which just isn’t enough. Draco had more of a redemption and frankly proved he had good in him, yet we never got a true redemption from him because apparently all Slytherins are evil. Sure, there is a total of… one evil Gryffindor: Peter Pettigrew, who is pretty awful, but is there a single fully good Slytherin? No, they’re all either assholes, dabbled with evil, or are full on evil. Not only is it basic black and white morality, but it’s also downright harmful. The kids are sorted into their houses by their personalities and values. Some of the Slytherin traits are ambition, cunning, cleverness, resourcefulness, and leadership qualities, all pretty positive traits. The thing that divides these houses are their traits and values, so this is sending a message that traits such as “ambition,” “cleverness,” or “resourcefulness” are bad or evil, when they’re not. This is especially problematic when you remember that there is an official Wizarding World quiz that sorts you into a Hogwarts house based on your personality and likes and one of the houses you can get is this designated evil house. So if kids take this quiz and get Slytherin, they’re going to be disappointed and possibly think they’re evil. I’m especially annoyed at “ambition” ALWAYS being represented as a negative trait. That’s not just a Harry Potter problem but it still bothers me. Having aspirations and the guts to pursue them is not a bad thing, having evil aspirations is a bad thing. Ambition is a purely neutral trait, it can be positive or negative depending on what you’re pursuing yet it’s only ever shown as a “villain” trait.

(Look at this wonderful tweet I found while looking for images for this by the way:)

(Way to be even more blatant that you hate Slytherins and also have a poor understanding of racial issues. Speaking of which...)

This series tries to tackle racism… and it didn’t do it well. At all. It didn’t even tackle racism itself, it used elements of its magical world as an allegory for racism and these allegories just don’t work. The two that are most well-known are the wizard/muggle tension and the house elves as a whole. The pureblood purists are essentially an allegory for white supremacists, which has some troubling implications since wizards are literally genetically superior to muggles. Even if it’s not an objective fact, the books do imply that wizards are better than muggles from the story alone so this racial allegory doesn’t work when you’re saying one side is more powerful or better! The house elves are even worse. Their entire species is enslaved to these “genetically superior wizards.” In fact, if I remember correctly, house elves are enslaved mostly by rich pureblood families like the Malfoys and the Crouch’s, similar to slavery in the real world. But apparently, the house elves are happy to be enslaved (besides Dobby, who died) and were insulted when Hermione tried to free them. Winky in particular was horrified when she was freed by her master, treating it like a horrible punishment. Surely I don’t have to say how messed up that is.

Finally, my biggest problem with the Harry Potter series and the main reason I can’t stomach reading or watching them anymore, is the treatment of Harry himself. Harry was abused by the Dursleys. This is not me reading too into the book of reinterpreting anything, this is what is told to us directly. Harry is thin from being underfed in the first book, was forced to live in the cupboard under the stairs for eleven years, is frequently yelled at and berated by the Dursleys, heck Petunia and Vernon practically encourage their son to beat up Harry and frequently show favoritism to Dudley over Harry to an absurd degree. They make it clear to Harry that they don’t want him there. They also lock him in his room in the second book, literally boarding up the window and not letting him leave, passing him soup cans under the door. And all of this is just off the top of my head. Dumbledore left Harry in this environment. Dumbledore is fully aware of how Harry is being treated. Harry’s acceptance letter into Hogwarts literally has the address “the cupboard under the stairs” written on it. Yet they leave him in this physically and emotionally abusive and neglectful environment because the Dursley’s treatment somehow humbled him and made him the hero the wizarding world needed. Let me repeat that loud and clear: Harry is a hero because he endured abuse. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. I don’t care what your justification is, it is never a good thing to leave a child in an abusive situation. You are not good or noble or heroic or anything for staying with people who hurt you. And it’s not just Dumbledore. I understand that Harry living with Sirius wasn’t much of an option with him on the run from Azkaban and then dying in book 5 but what about the Weasleys? Why do they let him return to the Dursleys when they know full well what he’s going through there after Fred, George, and Ron bust him out? Oh yeah, he can’t leave because Lily’s love spell protects Harry when he’s in a blood relative’s house. He doesn’t have any other choice. This is a lazy excuse from the story to justify Harry staying with his abusers and frankly, doesn’t even work since he’s constantly trying to avoid his house, a pretty common response to domestic abuse by the way. So it’s not “protecting” him, even by that stupid logic. Harry was left with and forced to return to the Dursleys year after year solely because he’s the chosen one and needed to be put through hell because abuse apparently molds people into heroes and if Harry was even a little arrogant, he wouldn’t be a hero. And he wouldn’t have been prepared to die to Voldemort to destroy the horcrux in him. The story is framed in a way that glorifies Harry for being abused and I despise it. Dumbledore used Harry as a tool to defeat Voldemort, never taking his feelings into account and he’s just forgiven for all of this in the end. Everyone says Harry shouldn’t have named his kid after Snape? What about Dumbledore? Harry basically named his child after two of his biggest tormentors. It sickens me. It’s like the series is supporting and glorifying abuse, even if that wasn’t the intent of the author (and I doubt it was, since she was abused herself) that is how it feels. So yeah, I can’t really enjoy Harry Potter anymore the way I used to.

(On a side note, I hate “destiny” stories and Harry Potter is a good example of a terrible destiny themed story. Harry didn’t have a choice in anything. He was just forced into this scenario and twisted by the plot to be what it “needed” him to be, having no agency of his own. Great inspiring hero. -_-)

[painted-crow]

What does a rapid fire Bird Secondary look like ?

Me!

I've talked about this a bit before, but I don’t like detailed plans, like step by step "here's what I'm gonna do." There are circumstances when I'll plan, but rather limited ones:

For fun. Maybe I'm interested in something but can't do the actual activity, so I plan it out instead. This plan might serve as a reference later, but I'm just as likely to discard it because I don't feel like using it or I have a better idea.

As a crutch. If I'm really inertia-struck with anxiety or executive dysfunction, making a plan or even just a list can be a hack to get out of it, but again, I'm likely to abandon it halfway through if I start feeling better.

"Formal" experimentation. I don't do this a whole lot, and usually I do this kind of thing in my head... but sometimes you gotta actually think the details through and write them down in advance.

But it's not how I like to work. To me, plans feel brittle and restrictive and usually boring. I lean towards other tactics:

Clever repurposing of something I learned/collected, or of resources that happen to be around me

Use of a tool I picked up thinking "this'll be handy at some point"

Bringing up weird knowledge I acquired At Some Point, possibly by accident, for fun, or while working on something else

Bringing up general skills I learned on purpose

Learning skills on the fly because the situation needs them; I prefer to know what I'm doing better than this, but reasonably speedy autodidacticism is one of my most prized skills and it's not a bad fallback.

(El Goonish Shive)

"Moooom! Paint is identifying with a mad scientist character again!"

Basically, I pull from my collection of existing skills, tools, knowledge, and current available resources to craft a solution on the fly, after getting close enough to the situation to get a good look at the problem.

This makes me feel very clever, it works really well, and I love doing it. Favorite way to do stuff, hands down.

Trouble can be, if people don't recognize how much prep work goes into these "instant" solutions, they're inclined not to believe they're real and will actually work. And I don't like pulling the "actually I studied this for six months" card because it feels like bragging :/ plus, for all the different things I can say that about, it stops sounding believable.

Truth is, I have almost no attention span for television (I'm aware this is weird but don't have an explanation for it), I hyperfocus easily, and I choose hobbies with lots of moving parts.

Like aquascaping. Do you know how many different bottles of chemicals you need to get the water chemistry right so the aquatic plants will grow? For me it was five, but a lot of people I knew online had waaay more (and fancy CO2 systems) because they kept demanding plants. If you kept the right balance of fish and plants, you ended up with this little ecosystem in a box. Like a tiny slice of a river! I was pretty good at it.

I still don't know how I got from "let's try making California rolls" to "afraid to run out of good mirin," but somehow I ended up really into cooking Japanese food and it's a permanent influence on my pantry and basically anything I cook now.

I do know how I ended up with so many oil painting mediums and solvents and so many paint colors that I have to have a list on my phone now to keep track of which ones I have in stock, though. Also did you know that acrylic paints also have mediums you can add and they make using acrylics SO MUCH EASIER? because I do and it seems like nobody else does and that's sad.

I also binge read nonfiction, especially when I'm depressed. It gives me something to focus on and feels vaguely productive even when I don't have the energy to do more.

Does this all sound like a lot of work? It's really just some of the stuff I do for kicks. We haven't touched on the novels I've written, the coding languages I know, the gardens I've kept, the professional design software on my computer (which I built myself from parts), the knitting and the baking and the graphic design and the candle making and the martial arts and the French language stuff from back in high school that I still kinda remember.

OH and then you have the weird stuff I carry around. *empties purse* here we have a multitool, lockpicks, a can of WD-40, some yarn or string, bandaids, a styptic pen, hand sanitizer, hairbands, screws I don't want to lose bc they belong to my couch, glasses cleaning wipes, a metal pen with a point that can break a car window, a bunch of fast food napkins, mini bottles of ibuprofen and acetaminophen, earbuds, comb, random lanyard, and four mini rubber ducks; all of these make sense to me don't ask why my purse is heavy

Plus all the ebooks loaded onto my phone, which I carry everywhere! And I have even more in my Humble Bundle library.

I list all these off to make a point: Birds' resource libraries can be HUGE. I don't know where mine exists on the hugeness spectrum, but I'm only 23, and older Birds' libraries are probably even bigger.

So yeah, as odd and niche as my interests can be, I have a LOT of them, and I can just go into situations without a plan because between all the skills I've learned and the books I've read and reread and the resources I carry everywhere and the hoard of supplies at home and the Bird masks and the Badger mirroring and THEN the ability to learn what I need on the fly if all else fails--

I don't need a plan.

I don't want a plan.

I'm more powerful without it.

I can react and pull from anything I've ever done or used or read. I can build things on the fly. Doesn't matter if I need to help cater an event or build a website or just prop open a heavy door--I'll have something relevant, or I'll figure it out.

There are situations where I won't be as capable, of course. For example, I know very little about cars, or writing music, or roller skating, or amino acid protein chains. But that's okay, because there are other people who specialize in those things, and I'll almost certainly come out of the situation having learned something and added to my library.

(Except the roller skating thing. I'm kind of phobic about skating of any kind. Cool when other people do it, but I get *eurgh* sliding in socks on linoleum.)

How do I end this... oh!

The fancy word for the act of making up a solution to a problem on the spot, using whatever materials and resources you have on hand, is bricolage, and one who practices it is a bricoleur. I learned that from a LiveJournal blog about writing that I used to read when I was 12, and I still remember it for some reason, which is very on brand of me.

[thedannyfinn]

The Story of Absolute Power, Deceit, and Manipulation

This is going to be quite an interesting read for many. I encourage bookmarking and taking breaks. It is out of the request of those involved to bring awareness of the patterns of manipulation, deceit, and absolute power that I delve into my knowledge on this subject as supported by the words of Ashley Purdy, backed by my own experiences and opinions. This will be a very important lesson for many younger musicians as well. This is in part based on my own personal experiences, opinions, and recollection. The sources of the information that will be detailed in this post will be coming from myself alone as an individual and my personal observations with supporting relevant media links.

An Anonymous Warning

This story starts way back in 2012. I remember distinctly researching Black Veil Brides and the making of, when I came across a blog post from a third party detailing the band’s relocation to Los Angeles and its creation from a business perspective. This post which I cannot recall the source platform, nor whom had posted it, to my knowledge had been removed shortly after I had read it. In the post it detailed a young Andy Sixx, around the age of 16, visiting Los Angeles, most likely for acting / modeling where he first met Ashley Purdy. It was said that Andy and Ashley had remained in communication throughout Andy’s return home to Cincinnati, OH. Roughly two years later, shortly after turning 18 and relocating to Los Angeles, Andy had what was said to be a second run in with Ashley Purdy, who was around 31 at the time (yes, nearly twice Andy’s age). The Knives And Pens music video was already out and it had amassed an iconic acclaim overnight. During this time Ashley had used his tactics to manipulate the young Andy into signing away half of the rights to the name Black Veil Brides in a contract that he, and I would presume to be an attorney, had created behind the backs of the others involved. However, in this contract it was said that Ashley had made it so Black Veil were run more so like a business than a band, giving 50% of the creative direction and rights to the band name and brand as a whole to Ashley, but most importantly in this reallocation of power, it had made it near impossible for Andy Biersack to remove Ashley Purdy as a co-business owner for the band, regardless of circumstances. It was also said that this contract had a duration that was indefinite. What this means is that Ashley and Andy were both in equal power meaning no matter what, one could not remove the other and this contract would never expire. This contract were most likely signed by a young and naive Andy with false promises that Ashley had many resources that would help the band grow. At first I had considered this to be some strange fanfic from an anonymous source, nonetheless I had read this post myself and had always kept it in the back of my mind, questioning what level of validity it held.

Intent To Steal

In an interview (2014) with Ashley Purdy, he discusses how Andy Sixx and the Black Veil Brides already had debuted the Knives and Pens music video in 2009 (which had launched Andy and Sandra Alva into international fame nearly overnight) before Ashley had found out about Andy and the Black Veil Brides. Ashley discusses seeing an ad (most likely craigslist) where Andy had listed his influences and was looking to recruit more members. Here Ashley had noticed them being along similar to his and has verbatim said “I was actually looking to STEAL players from there to put in my band, you know?” His intentions most likely had changed into intent to infiltrate once he saw the success tied to Andy as a frontman as he admitted in this interview that he liked Andy as a frontman and was going to continue in the direction Andy and Black Veil Brides were currently on. In a conversation with an outside and anonymous individual whom was living with some of those involved at the time, I personally was told “Ashley didn’t play anything, it was just a given that he were to be in the band someway or another.” Another anonymous individual who was present around this time confirms this to be true.

The Victimizing Narrative of a Manipulator

Let’s fast forward to 2019. At the end of the year we see shockingly that Ashley Purdy and the Black Veil Brides have separated in a mutual agreement. It was said that this was beneficial for both parties and it was a positive thing. However, shortly after in the beginning of 2020 we start to see words from Ashley Purdy in an AltPress article saying “Technically, I didn’t leave; I’m just not in the band anymore. I have to talk in those terms right now” and “Black Veil Brides is a corporate business, and there are legal rules,” he explains. “It’s like a divorce, and we are working it all out.” What we know from this is that the terms of the separation are not yet 100% agreed upon and settled, however implying that there are legal rules and “having to talk in those terms” implies that there is indeed a nondisclosure agreement between the parties of Ashley Purdy and the Black Veil Brides. With that being said, he 100% admittedly shared that he was removed from the group as to be supported from the next time he goes on record with the press.

Following said AltPress article, we had seen a more honest article with the words of Ashley Purdy saying “I guess I can say this because it is the truth. On Feb. 26 [at] 1 p.m., I still currently own half of Black Veil Brides right now. The realization is like it’s a corporate buyout. It’s like me and Andy [Biersack] — 50% each. And they still have to compensate me for them wanting me to depart. But that hasn’t happened yet. And we’re still in negotiations about what that is. I don’t know how to approach it because it’s not finalized yet.” This right here is huge. This 100% backs the warning message that I had come across in 2012 in regards to a 50/50 corporate ownership split between Ashley Purdy and Andy Biersack. Here he also further admits. that not only was he removed from the group, but they actually wanted him to depart which in my opinion implies intent before the 2019 actions. This new narrative is 100% against the initial statements of a mutual parting by both parties and seems to be a direct violation of a rumored NDA as implied by Ashley and it also appears to be a blatant attempt of assuming the role of victim against Black Veil to any interested in the split.

Non-Disclosure / Non-Defamation Clause

During a controversial Crowdcast that Ashley Purdy had done himself on March 26, 2020 titled “Spring Fling” at the minute mark 31:59 Ashley discloses “It’s not like it’s a non-disclosure, it’s just a non-defamation clause..” Which both fall under the non-disparagement umbrella and are similar with a stark exception of non-defamation clauses protecting the entire history of the relationships in any way that could make either party look in any way negative. What this means is that in short, Andy nor anyone else in the band could make a single comment that would in any way show a lack of support of Ashley Purdy at any point in the entire relationship between Ashley Purdy and Black Veil Brides, regardless of validity. I would bet the one whom would want such a clause in place would be Ashley, protecting himself from Black Veil exposing him for his manipulative and deceitful ways which is assumed to have started since his days of first involvement.

At this point the truths according to statements made by Ashley Purdy goes as follows:

There had been a 50/50 split contract between Andy and Ashley

Black Veil had wanted Ashley out of the band

There is a NDA in place regarding the separation

There is a non-defamation clause regarding the relationship

Black Veil Memebers / Crew cannot legally comment in any way that would make Ashley look bad

Breaking The NDA / Non-Defamation Clause

Based on my own knowledge backed by research, in a similar scenario when a NDA or Non-Defamation Clause is broken, one party seeks grounds for lawsuit for the entire capital of the brand of the other party. What this means is that if Black Veil or any member of the Black Veil Brides Brand were to breach the NDA by sharing details of the separation or by making any statements that make Ashley Purdy appear in a negative light, whether true or false, Ashley Purdy would attempt to assume any and all financial capital of the brand and destroy the entire band as an entity. The band would completely cease to exist and Ashley would be in a financially advantages position to ruin the lives of all members under the Black Veil Brides umbrella, suing them for damages and voiding all future gains of profit from each member of involvement as well. This is what happens in cases similar to these where previous business owners insert on separation agreements of non-disclosure / non-defamation and when they are breached it is essentially a “Hail Mary” to reclaim future and previous profits made by the entire brand.

Ashley’s Intent to Manipulate, Groom, Profit

Now, at the time of the contract agreement as supported by the acknowledgement of its existence by Ashley’s statements in the press articles supplied above, it’s safe to assume that this contract were put in place back when the band first started their involvement with Ashley. Ashley would have been 31 years old and Andy would have been 18 at the time where the creative direction of the band would legally rest between two parties for the first time in the band’s history. As proud of a person as Andy is, I can’t help to believe wholeheartedly that Andy as a teen was persuaded and manipulated into signing away half of the rights of the name Black Veil Brides to a man nearly double his age. This is how corporate splits typically occur as to restrict of the brand at its sole genesis, the name. By extension, one could assume that this manipulation had stemmed back from Andy’s first rumored run in with Ashley back at the age of 16 years old. If you had been following this band for awhile, you would have seen an extremely different atmosphere of the band in its early days in regards to the relationship of Andy and Ashley from its later days. I follow this up later with my own personal experiences as I had toured with them multiple times. The TLDR is I never once saw Ashley in the same room as a single other member of the band to my own observation, and it had appeared to me that the majority of the band were not even on speaking terms, nor wanted to associate with Ashley in the slightest and it would not have shocked me if that had been the case for awhile. My first time touring with them was in 2014, which suggests the dichotomy between Andy and Ashley had become apparent in the years prior.

What a 50/50 split means is that no matter what, there would be no way for Andy to remove Ashley at all unless there were some discovered loophole. Andy had committed legally and indefinitely that even if the two parties had hated each other completely, it would be near impossible for Andy to reclaim 100% of the rights to the brand Black Veil Brides and rid the project of Ashley. I strongly speculate based on tonality in interviews, live performances etc that there was a specific time where the manipulation and deceit of a teenaged Andy Biersack had turned into a matrimonial nightmare with no means of an end. It is of my opinion that I trace the flip of naivety to suffering back in 2012. At this time it has become extremely rare to find interviews shared between Andy and Ashley both. Also, this is the time that it had appeared obvious that Andy was severely suffering from a multitude of psychologically destructive antics. Now I by NO means am implying that Andy at this time was a weak person, I am insinuating that he however was another human being who is victim of manipulation, abuse, and with no escape has found himself in a world of suffering.

Andy Black- a Project Born Under Pressured Circumstances

With the assumed unescapable borderline abusive relationship between Andy Biersack and Ashley Purdy, this would be the complete explanation for the existence of the side project, Andy Black and the side projects of the other members of the band. If Andy refused to continue working with Ashley Purdy, he could assume his own project and if the members were reliant on Andy to perform as Black Veil Brides the other members of the band hopefully would share the same ability without conflict of interest. 

Why Was Ashley Not Removed?

This is highly speculative however, with an ownership balance of 50/50 split over the name Black Veil Brides, the only events by which Andy could separate ways from Ashley would be if Andy were to surrender all current and future financial capital of the brand and ownership of the name to Ashley, find a loophole to default ownership back to Andy, or drive the entire brand into bankruptcy along with an indefinite hiatus and find a means of separation. What the last event means is that if there were no current capital (money in the bank) that the band possessed and no speculated future profits by means of indefinite hiatus, Ashley could not sue to take what isn’t there. It’s my guess that this is exactly what had happened and that the band cared so much to remove Ashley that they had driven themselves financially bankrupt. My guess is that the band assumed indefinite hiatus, had absolutely no capital or perhaps was even in debt, had no speculative future profit, and it was on its last leg that a strategy or loophole was discovered that provided means of creating a case for separation where the band would most likely refuse to be active and Ashley would no longer have any income unless he were removed from the band, where the band would then continue and Ashley would be entitled to a cut of profits and for future profits. This is directly supported by Ashley saying “And they still have to compensate me for them wanting me to depart.”

I Am Your Boss

With a 50/50 split of power between Ashley and Andy, this event would then place Ashley and Andy both to be the literal bosses of every single member in the band and every single member of crew as well. Management, Tour Managers, Security Guards, Performing Members, etc all are employed by those in power of the band; Ashley and Andy. What this means is that at any time, Ashley could fire any given member under the Black Veil Brides employment umbrella on the spot at any point with the exception of Andy. This is very important to note as per one of the victim’s case having taken place on the last tour that the band had ever performed in alongside Ashley Purdy. His claims against a proven 17 year old minor walking off of the tour bus late at night that he assumed complete ownership of, were as follows:

There are many issues with this statement. Having toured with them, it is 100% false that Tour Managers and Security guards hold responsibility over band members for checking identification of the guests that the band members bring from the crowd, to back stage, and thusly on to the bus.

Even if in some arrangement Ashley claims that responsibility rests on the shoulders of Mr. Y**** (Andy’s long term personal security from threats of physical harm) and Mr. S******* (The tour manager of the resurrection tour whom held responsibility of resources, travel arrangements, finances etc) The Tour Manager and Security would be in employment positions UNDER Ashley Purdy, meaning they could be fired at any point for any reason and it would be absolutely likely that they would be removed on the spot had there been any confrontation at all for any reason. Based on this, I am absolutely confident that this deranged imposition of power would be held over the heads of all employees under Ashley Purdy which would speak as to the complete avoidance and disassociation that I had personally payed observation to on the multiple tours I had shared with Black Veil.

Another point of error in this statement, is that at this time Andy, head of Security Mr. Y**** and the Tour Manager Mr. S******* had all lived on a completely separate bus from Ashley Purdy at all times during this tour and all tours around this time. It would be extremely unlikely for Ashley Purdy to cross paths with any of these individuals with the exception of the show and sound check alone.

My Experiences

Below are a collection of experiences I had witnessed firsthand along with some backstory on my involvement and where the grounds for my opinions and speculation can be based on. I had only witnessed one event with Ashley that I consider to be inappropriate that took place before 3 years of hiatus from the band before they embarked on one final tour in 2018, the last tour before Ashley was removed from the band.

Black Mass Tour 2014

This is where my personal observations begin take place. I had been touring for a few years in many different roles and in 2014 I was invited to join alongside Black Veil brides mid-tour. When I had joined the tour, I was never approached to sign a NDA because the tour was already in progress, henceforth why I am able to come forth with my own observations. 

During this tour I spent many nights hanging out with various members of Black Veil with the exception of Ashley Purdy. Every night that we had gone out to bars, clubs, restaurants etc several of us would formulate a plan before our early morning bus call (often 4:00 am). Often we would make a group event out of it and invite several other musicians from other bands and/or friends. However, I remember finding it odd that Ashley never once came up in conversation and never was present at a single night out which is why I don’t have many shared experiences between Ashley and myself. Most of the nights I spent socially out at bars with Jinxx and CC heading out with some friends from another band. Some nights Andy had joined us along with a few other crew members where we would sit at a table in a quiet bar or hang out in the front lounge of the bus and often talk about wrestling and/or movies. Or he and I would talk outside the bus late at night, in the venue about Batman, Misfits etc. It was quite clear that Andy was not drinking often at this time and neither was Jake due to health reasons. I remember whenever I were with Jake it was always just for one drink of vodka as it was a “healthier” option to whisky and we never got more than a social buzz to help with out anxiety / social awkwardness. It was also my impression that Ashley would be off doing his own thing away from everybody before the show, and it was almost as if he had vanished after every show until bus call. Honestly, I had never seen anyone in the band talk to or about Ashley at all. It had seemed to me as though no one in the band had associated with him in the slightest bit and they didn’t seem to be on speaking terms at all aside from business obviously. It also would not surprise me if this had been the case for awhile. The only time this tour that I had ever seen Ashley present with any other members was on Thanksgiving day where we had all gone to Hometown Buffet (lol) where Ashley sat away from Andy and Jake near the other end of the table with crew and band members between himself and Andy.

Los Vegas, NV 10/30/14 The first night that I had gone out with other members of Black Veil where Andy, Myself, CC, Jinxx and I believe Jake all went to the Foundation Room with the band’s merchandise manager, various crew members, most other musicians on the tour, and a few friends of the band as well. While we were there, Ashley was somewhere else completely on what he considers to be a “Spring Break” when he tweeted a picture of himself sucking on the chest of a girl at another bar and appeared to be on a multitude of different substances. We had taken an entire group photo where Ashley is not present which I believe was taken on a friend to the band’s phone by another friend whom is a video director. 

Houston, TX 12/11/14 I watched this entire show side-stage. Earlier this Day Ashley was running around in his black boxer brief underwear mid afternoon clearly wasted throwing around a football. I was quite interested in how he were going to be able to perform. As the show were about to start, I stood side stage with Mr R**** (another musician present, not to drag you in my boy) when during the show, Ashley appeared immensely disheveled and sported stubble, no makeup, and a trucker hat and was having troubles walking about the stage. Throughout the show he slowly stumbled around, often missing his own bass when strumming. Early on my parter side stage pointed at Ashley and exclaimed “DUDE HE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK LIKE HE’S PLAYING!” by which I responded with a mere glare out of the corner of my eye. He then responded with “I know, I just wanted to see if you knew.”

Throughout this entire show Andy clearly was frustrated with Ashley and if I remember correctly, at one point Andy brought a barstool from side stage and sat in it during the performance, clearly frustrated. Towards the resolve of the show, Ashley could barely stand up on his own, where Andy held him upright for a moment.

Warped Tour 2015 - Second To Last Black Veil Tour Ever

I had caught a flight out last minute to start Warped Tour and was living with another band at the start. I believe, because of this I had also not been approached to sign an NDA. There was not one night that I recall Andy, Jake or Ashley in attendance to the Warped Tour BBQ, an event that happened every few evenings after the tour was broken down. Later on during the tour, it was 08-02 at the Denver show where the Warped Tour “Prom” was to be held. This is simply another Warped Tour BBQ except with a bit more festivities as usual and having a “date” is somewhat of a normal event.

It was this night where I was on another bus that Ashley was not living on where some important events occurred. I was inside the bathroom on the bus and our singer Zero was in the back lounge. The bus would have appeared empty and quiet to any outsiders. It was extremely unlikely that you would ever see any Black Veil crew member or band members on the bus unless I had brought CC on the bus to hang out with and play Superfight, a card game similar to Cards Against Humanity that Zero and I commonly played with other musicians. I was walking out of the bathroom when I saw Ashley walking on with two girls immediately making a reach for the alcohol on the bus until I had stepped in his way. Zero (whom was quietly working on his Macbook Pro in the back lounge) noticed the event and walked up to the front quickly. Zero who is bigger and older than I had yelled at Ashley to get off the bus and told me to stay back. It is my opinion that Ashley was attempting to sneak behind the backs of his own band and crew at this point.

Later that night I had heard from one of my crew guys that the girls were under the age of 21 and that Ashley had gotten in some serious trouble and the girls were sent home. There were only 4 days remaining on this tour.

This was also the second to last tour that Black Veil Brides had ever done. Between the dates of Warped Tour 2015 and today, Black Veil Brides had only embarked on The Resurrection Tour which had lasted a total of less than 5 months which is where the event’s regarding a minor on Ashley’s bus had taken place, very shortly before his removal from the band.

Closing Statement:

I consider this to be the most complete and detailed composition of relevant events and experiences and I truly believe this has been made in attempt to educate to the best of my ability. I have not posted here besides the typical share from IG in quite some time. This post by no means has been created with any aforementioned dialogue to any involved and is a collective of my sole efforts as an individual and my ability to research and speculate based on my own experiences. I believe with my given perspective, this is most accurate and I hope this can be referred to with intent to answer many questions regarding this troubling subject. I truly wish the best for all parties and victims along with the families affected by this decade long reign of manipulation and abuse. I hope the internal struggle of many that I’m seeing on various socials can be absolved. It is my intent that this will be my last public statement regarding these events and I truly hope I’ve done right by those I am attempting to answer to and have not belittled nor offended any in any way.

Suicide Prevention 800-273-8255

Substance Abuse/Mental Health Helpline 1-800-662-4357

Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-4673

Domestic Violence Hotline 800−799−7233

Crisis Text Line: Text HELLO to 741741

Thank you kindly for reading my post. Feel free to redirect / share as necessary.

Danny Finn

[ravenbara]

Witchy Wishlist, WA, USA

1. ART of my children.  I have two green cheek conures and a siamese cat and have also had a jardine parrot.  I love them, they are my life and ANY form of art of them absolutely brightens my mood for days, feel free to search my blog for Momo, Zodi, Harry and Boris or contact me for as many reference pictures as you want.

2. Craft supplies! EVEN HANDMEDOWNS AND USEFUL SCRAPS.  my favorite things right now are modern embroidery with cotton and six strand floss and stitching on felt with pearl cotton.  but i also spin my own yarn, crochet like mad, sculpt, papercraft, paint (mostly watercolor but also love acrylics) etc.

3. PIctures of your critters! I am animal obsessed and would love to get to know your pets.  I personally am most fascinated by birds and cats but i also love and live with some lovely dogs and think reptires and aquatics are so cute.  Sorry insect lovers, i would prefer not to see pictures of your babies but I’d still love to hear stories and antics!

4.  Art/free image sourcing help for oracle decks i love to make.  I am not strong in my 2D art skills but ADORE making oracle decks over on thegamecrafter.  if you have images that we can use free for commercial use (either original images or common use license stock imagery to play with) I would love to partner and format a deck, can be entirely up to you within the options i have available or you can keep it up to me.  I just enjoy the formatting and finding filters, borders, etc to make the images a cohesive deck. OH and if you take me up on this, i’ll make sure we both get a copy at cost but if we decide to list for sale we can split whatever proceeds happen (if they happen, to be honest, i’m not great at advertising)

5.  Tarot/astrology lessons/mentorship.  I’ve been super interested in both topics but feel like a novice in both.  I’m a diviner already but my focus is on intuitive oracle tools.  SO if you have the patience to hold my hand and either talk with me about either topic or even just help send me research to read would all be super helpful!

6.  Essentials for me and my pets.  The birds always need food and toys, and the cat always needs food and litter and cardboard scratchers.  With how little income I have right now, this is a legitimate need in the next couple months that would be lovely to not have to worry about next purchase cycle.

7. Go give love to a favorite online creator of yours, and show off their work to me! I will definitely respond with some of my own favorite folks!  2D art, videos, games, artisans, crafters, artists of any kind.  Give them love and let me see their awesome work!

8. D&D tutoring! I’ve barely ever played but am obsessed with a couple podcasts (currently catching up on Critical Role) and have the resources to run a handful of one shots and even a campaign and a half (gotta love patreon) I would love someone to just explain whatever they think is relevant to playing and DMing and let me ask questions!

9.  TEA!!! I love adagio.com   https://www.adagio.com/gifts/gift_card_gift_of_holidays.html  that is the link to their gift cards, but if you have any recommendations or want to talk fancy flavored teas i’m down for that too!

10. SWITCH GAMES,  i am forever in love with animal crossing but love adding to my game library, top of my list is Pikmin 3 right now, it just looks so stinking cute.

11.  SOCKS.... so.... i have a bit of a long sock obsession..... and the one company i know and trust for my long socks in my (plus) size is sockdreams! as long as it fits me i am totally cool with you picking out what you want to get me but they also make the cutest giftcards.  They make pride stripe socks of various lengths (their plus sized genderqueer over the knee socks are what i have on right now XD) and they are the comfiest things.  Fancy socks are a serious weakness of mine and i love them. https://www.sockdreams.com/ecard.html

12.  Movie buddy! I have a few movies that i know but havent’ seen in years cuz they have gross memories attached to them.  Like i ADORE the cats stage musical and have a dvd of the films stage production... but i can’t watch it by myself because my brain goes south really really fast.... so! if you are up for sitting with me on IM/DM and letting me chatter about the movie for the whole length of the film, let me know! (you can be watching along or not, up to you!) CATS is the big one, but les miserable is one as is repo the genetic opera and practical magic. 

13.  https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2R83PY8OPR14Z?ref_=wl_share  (amazon wishlist link)

HAPPY WINTER and I hope you get many gifts in return!

dm here on tumblr at ravenbara or send a non-anonymous ask

if absolutely can’t contact on tumblr use raven.bara@gmail.com but tumblr is more reliable for me to catch the message