#Obviously the tone and topics tackled are very different but still

[heartstopperthoughts]

[pretty-weird-ideas]

IWTV Twitter and the so-called "Fake Black Fans" Invasion

Something that I've been seeing a lot after it gained traction on Max is white fans condescendingly talking down to Black fans, some of whom have been in this fandom longer than they have, and acting as if they don't know what they are talking about because of their critique including a concept or subtext they wish to ignore. I want to repeat that this doesn't happen in the same amounts to white fans who make analyses or memes, it seems to uniquely be Black fans speaking AAVE or with Black pfps (visibly black bc of this) being bombed in the comments for having valid opinions.

I reached about the fifth tweet of white women going onto posts of Black people (particularly older women on Black Twitter) talking about IWTV and saying "You don't know what you're talking about, read the source material/finish the show" or entirely saying that "You don't understand fandom culture". Prompting those Black people to respond curtly that they, in fact, have read the source material, finished the show long before they have, and have been a fandom elder since before they even rolled into town. I witnessed someone doing BABY talk to a 30-year-old Black woman who was talking about episode 5, with "Well you see, it's not my fault you can't read". And when the woman professed anger back, she was the one blocked.

I witnessed this backhanded shit FIVE TIMES over the course of this week. With different white women doing the job of whitesplaining fandom culture and Anne Rice to random Black fans who already know unprompted with a level of passive aggressiveness and annoyance that only comes with doing it repeatedly. I must assure you (white people who are doing this) nobody asked, you can put down your task and stop pretending like you are doing something Sisyphean. You are not legally required to explain and describe IWTV poorly while getting into screaming matches with far more educated Black fans on Twitter and Tumblr.

People are acting as if there's a rising population of Black fans who are "Fake Fans" and must be stopped, lest they start up the freaky discourse. OOHHH NOOOO! Whatever are we to do then???? And therefore it is completely normal and a civic duty to blast Black fans in the comments of everything that they say about the show or the books.

I've been seeing people unironically football tackle reaction posts of the show with paragraphs worth of text that is inflammatory and backhanded. This is even more apparent when the poster is visibly black or uses AAVE. The association is that Black people who use AAVE or memes obviously are uneducated, lack media literacy, and cannot consume content the way that "White" fans do.

It is an attempt to tone police Black fans away from creating new topics of discussion or creating/expanding the fandom space with the growing watcher-base. It always has to happen in their chosen language, on their time, in the places they can reach us and yell some more. They are very discomforted when Black fans have pockets in fandom where they can't be outnumbered and they do in fact control discourse in a way that isn't productive to respectability. (As much as I am a big fan of big words and rambling, that is somewhat what is expected in this fandom as a Black person to be considered "respectable" and I'm not willing to ignore or shy away from that).

This is also hand in hand with my previous thoughts about fans' dog-whistling about media becoming accessible/mainstream and how "Others" will ruin it and outnumber them. I noticed that in the IWTV fandom, it seems like white fans believe that the "Others" is just Black Twitter in general. Not just "Twitter" but specifically Black people who don't fit into their narrow respectability politics.

I hate to tell you all this, but Black fandom culture is still fandom culture, and Black people do in fact read and write. I should not be seeing a pattern of random white fans going into the comments of Black people who mention IWTV and automatically assuming that they have no clue what they're talking about.

Like clockwork, exactly as when the show came out, racist white book fans started up the discourse of "The Black people are going to ruin fandom with their racism discourse and spit on Anne Rice!" and then when that time passed, the show reaches Max, and here they go barking again.... We really need to get a muzzle.

[crooked-wasteland]

Vivziepop and Bojack Horseman: Learning the Wrong Lesson

Vivienne Medrano started her writing career on a comic by the name Zoophobia. A comic that lacked any sense of story whatsoever. While she would argue with comments about the lack of purpose by saying the story was Slice of Life, it was a forewarning of her future to come.

The story started with a concept of overcoming prejudice, but was quickly washed over with a bombardment of a large ensamble cast at the very start before introducing a whole separate but attached world that spun off into Hazbin Hotel. At no point actually finding a reason to care about the original premise of a prejudicial school counselor overcoming those qualities to help those around them that were substantially different from them.

Rather, Medrano has perpetuated the misnomer that Slice of Life is the same as storyless. And that's the greatest misunderstanding of a genre that can be achieved. Slice of Life being deemed meaningless time wasting as you look into the dull happenings of someone else's benign problems is a childish perspective.

Slice of life is the cornerstone of coming of age narratives like Grave of the Fireflies. For young adults, a slice of life mature story about what it means to grow up, or inner child healing, or how to move on would be a niche that could shape a generation for the better. Especially in our Era of the internet where most of us have spent more time learning socialization online.

Where people are stripped of their humanity and nuance, and tone is read into lettering on the cold blue light of a screen in the dark. Unless this little pixelated square and string of text makes me feel important by either agreeing with me and thus making me feel worth through their "support" for my beliefs or flatter me and validating my existence before disagreeing with my points, they are the villain of the second.

And especially being a show released at the height of a world trapped in quarantine, where all our sense of community and humanity came through a screen, Helluva Boss seemed to want to be a dark comedy that tackled the topics of damaged inner-children, relationship and abandonment trauma, self worth and moving on from past mistakes, and the complicated minefield of grey morality.

This is not mere conjecture either. Medrano has an outspoken love for shows like Bojack Horseman but lacks the understanding of why this absurd vision of slice of life was so emotionally and mentally profound to an entire generation of young adults. Medrano herself has liked sycophantic tweets comparing Helluva Boss to Bojack Horseman and subtly props herself on these pedestals alongside her idols despite not deserving of the comparison.

Blitz is the show titular Boss of the series and is very obviously a concept inspired by Bojack directly. Both Bojack and Blitz are performing artists, but while Bojack was immensely successful, Blitz was not.

Bojack's history is that of two abusive parents who had no love to spare for him. Instead, his only worth came in the form of performing. It was the only time he felt any ounce of love from his cruel mother, Beatrice, who used him as a means to elevate herself socially while simultaneously feeling any form of worth through the validation of strangers. Bojack is aware his mother was not a great parent, but he has a damaged inner child still desperate to get her approval and affection. Even though he genuinely hates her, he has a lingering empty maw within himself that begs for her love. Bojack suffers from a fear of loss.

When Sarah Lynn drinks his alcohol, he throws the hair dressed under the train to save himself. Despite his honesty having a high chance of being seen as the accident it was and excuses being made for him, Bojack was too insecure to recognize his protection through his popularity. He grew up with a mother who was the definition of conditional, and any small or large mistake could be the catalyst that took everything he had worked and waited for away.

Bojack's sabotaging of Todd also showsbthis fear of loss more blatantly. However, it lacks the understanding as to why Bojack would want to keep Todd near while also chronically putting him down. This is where the lack of understanding best shows between what Medrano thinks is happening and reality.

Blitz begins his story much the same way as Bojack. Instead of a slave driving mother profiting off her son, it's Cash Buckzo, Blitz's father and owner of a circus, who slave drives his children to perform. Blitz loves performing but is not deemed talented enough to be valuable. He has an implied sick, unseen mother who is treated as his motivation for complying with his father.

Medrano doesn't seem to realize that an external motivation lacks the emotional depth needed to have an audience empathize with the character. This is a repeated issue in every character.

Blitz isn't seeking a parent's approval but is instead held hostage by the desire to help someone else, and to do that must be submissive to an authority who has no care for him.

Stolas isn't at war with himself over cheating on his wife due to the fact that he is a gay man in an arranged straight relationship but instead is a victim in his own life. He is told what to do and how to do it by every other person in his life and doesn't have an internal sense of responsibility that he is contending with. He has no needs vs. wants. Instead, his wants are universal. To be loved is a base desire, and Medrano puts no effort into expanding on what that means for her character. Instead, utilizing the natural inclination in her audience to pretend there is depth in Stolas' conflict.

Loona is similarly a victim. She and Stolas are not fighting their own emotions, but the bullies contrived in the plot for them to confront. Her fault isn't her own insecurity that she must overcome. Rather, it is the fault of every other character for not coddling her insecurities due to her having a sad history. Actively fighting against the notion that people should ultimately be responsible for themselves.

This gives the impression of someone who believes a sympathetic past must justify one's behavior in the present. It's a blatant misreading of the idea that everyone has their own storm to navigate. The idea behind that saying is that you should be kind despite what you are going through because it is easy to believe you win the bad day Olympics when you're in the middle of it, not because someone else may be going or has gone through something worse.

Wrapping around, the Todd and Bojack relationship is a clear parallel to the Moxxie and Blitz relationship. But while Medrano uses the line "I'm hard on you because you can do better" as to why Blitz is a chronic asshole to his "friend", the writers of Bojack are not at all interested in justifying abuse. The reason Bojack ruined Todd's chance to leave can be seen as sympathetic because he is afraid of being alone and the loss that comes with that. But he isn't cruel or rude to Todd to make him better, rather it is the systematic disintegration of Todd's sense of ability and self worth to keep him codependent to Bojck and less likely to leave. It is only when Todd is away from Bojack that he actually comes into his true potential. The support of those around him telling him how badly Bojack treats him and instilling confidence in Todd to try things once again ultimately results in him escaping Bojack. It is a slow process for Todd to leave. He doesn't just walk away like it feels in the episode. Rather, he has spent seasons slowly becoming more and more distant from Bojack with new relationships and hobbies, even as Bojack tries to brow beat and insult him into complacency.

Instead, Medrano thinks things just happen from large, grand gestures and emotional beats. That a sad past is a free ticket to being an awful person who is accountable to no one. Much like the villain of Bojack Horseman.

[marengogo]

hello heres are some naked series ideas if you don't mind ahem

jikook in japan ( when asked whats your fave memories of that day) sir jungkook said watching jimin playing on his phone until 5 am they were almost late for their flight lol

bon voyage commentary ( they asked jungkook the difference between bv1 and bv2) lmao he couldnt answer i wonder why😏

the fact that jungkook keep telling people namjoon is the reasom he joigned bighit dont sit right with me its like theyre a layer to it we'll never know... cos as a 14-15 yo he didnt even talk through it to his parent or sum.. and their first meeting tho i cringe...

minimoni idk why but i dont like that pairing...

in the soop jimin imitates the way jungkook "snores" and me thinks its the other kind cos who in their right mind snores like that are they fr💀

This is that famous ASK I have spoken about at the beginning of me answering ASKS.I received this ASK August 22, 2022 and it took me this long because of how I decided to tackle it. To begin with, there were a lot of topics I didn’t want to just breeze over (like the NamKook part). In addition, the tone of the whole ASK got me a bit itchy in all the wrong places, so I���ve been trying to keep my cringe at bay.

Hence … dear Anon, I do apologize for the delay in replying to this ASK, but here I am! And I’ll discuss the cringe-feeling I had with the tone at the very end, so hang in there with me that is if you are still around, cause gurl/boi/enby more than half a year is admittedly a long-ass time, I’ll give you that 😬😬.

So I’ve begun speaking about Minimoni and NamKook in the posts right here so please feel free to read those → MINIMONI & NAMKOOK. For the rest, let’s beginning with the first part of the ASK.

“JIKOOK IN JAPAN” 

Anon is referring to a specific infamous? moment that happened during BTS’ AbemaTV Christmas Special interview on December 21, 2017, which you can find kindly translated here by BangtanSubs. As always I base whatever I discuss on all the Original Content (OC) provided so, I’d always advise watching this content before continuing reading if you haven’t already.

I think I have touched the subject of translating privately in my DM, but I can’t quite recall if I have on my blog. Some of you may know that I can speak Japanese, to a level where I mostly don’t need subtitles (unless there is a vocab I don’t know which I then have to look up). Now translating for a fandom like BTS is: TOUGH AF. 

As you know we have solo stans, shippers, casual listeners, here only for the boys interaction, but not the music-stans, YOU NAME IT stans, so when someone provides you with a translation, for the most part they have to decide amongst 3 choice/courses of action:

Just translate the words and you can figure out implied meanings

I will translate in a way that the implied meaning is understood even if they didn’t say those words

Just translate the words, then take some time to make notes and explain what it could mean and also add already known facts with regards to the statement. 

If you ask me, choice 3 would have to be the way to go; always. BUT LET’S BE REAL. It takes hella time to translate correctly. Imagine having to explain everything, every time, when the demand for instant translations is so high, particularly in a fandom like ours, especially when there are many moments which translators feel nobody should misunderstand. 

Also, choice 1, prevents for the most part being attacked by people in the fandom, whereas choice 2 is the quickest way to getting things spectacularly wrong if you turn out to have mistakenly interpreted what you thought they meant.  All of the aforementioned, are the reasons why Choice-1-Translators are the most common. But if I may add my 2 cents, do take the time to find some Choice-3-Translators when/if you can. Obviously, not for everything, but when/if in doubt, look for multiple sources until you are sure you’ve found various reputable, different-in-nature, sources who agree on the same meaning. 

Good Choice-1-Translators are hella quick, 95% accurate and rely heavily on context. So what is the context of this Jikook-moment.

Following is the context as righteously translated by BangtanSub:

This is the actual Japanese part without the translate caption:

おもしろトーク is the construct which was translated as “funniest story”, which is not wrong, but like A LOT OF ANYTHING in Japanese it has nuance and other meanings. The word おもしろい (read omoshiroi) mainly means “interesting” and the second most common meaning is “funny”, as something funny is culturally considered also interesting it’s a bit complicated a concept to understand but stick with me for a sec. Anyways, the person with the most interesting/funniest answer would win the price. 

As they start answering, J-Hope begins with promoting his solo songs off the bat, which has nothing to do with his questions, hence in a way, it was kinda funny/interesting for him to answer like that LOL. And then it is JK’s turn. 

Now, this was 2 months after they had gone to Tokyo together and we know just how much they loved talking about this trip. They literally took every chance to mention it.

So when JK decided to talk about that trip, instead of an experience of them presently being in Japan, I’m sure nobody was shocked, however what I think happened then was that people gave too much importance to the “memorable” part instead of the “funny/interesting” part. I believe that JK told that story because the fact that they stayed up until 5am was truly memorable because it was truly funny/interesting to him.  

What happened in those hours that they remained awake using JM’s phone? I don’t know. But using JM’s phone seems to be something that JK does more often than not now lowkey JK doesn’t seem like someone who really uses, or cares much about his own phone.

In fact, if anything, the rest of the members seem to be the ones who were almost worried as to what JK would say. Hobi decided to just give him the gift before even allowing him to finish, JM seemed to agree with that idea, everyone seemed to be just waiting to see what would happen, almost like when JK told the “rainy day” story during BTS Festa 2020. JK seems to really like having everyone wonder what he is about to say, almost to the point where they are borderline anxious; he really liked likes that.

SO TO ANSWER YOU/ANON: JK didn’t say he was watching JM until 5AM though he might have, who knows right?. They were on JM’s phone until 5AM, doing what? If they don’t tell us; we will never know, but also I really don’t think JK would have shared something personal between the two of them if JM wasn’t okay with it but that’s just me. So basically, I really don’t think this was a big moment for Jikook. Interesting/funny? Sure. Moving On!

“BON VOYAGE 2 (BV2)” 

The live Anon is referring to is BTS’ reaction and commentary to their first episode of Bon Voyage Season 2.

These 2 lives both used to be on vlive. However, as we all should know, vlive and weverse have now merged, AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR US, these two particular lives seem to have been lost in the interweb as I couldn’t find them on weverse might try and look better later, BUT, you know me OC.OG. (Original Content OG), wasn’t going to pull up to this ASK reason why I ended up only answering to 1 ASK … without finding a way to make everyone participate in the same discourse, so I didn't stop until I found links to both cause;

It may take days IT TOOK ME FOREVER, but guys, the interweb never really forgets so keep trying, IT IS ALL OUT THERE after that, if you can't find anything, like anything in life, please do ask for help, but my people, at least give it a solid try first.

Aloha, Hawaii!:

Special Commentary Live:

BACK TO THE QUESTION! Just like the previously discussed “Jikook in Tokyo” Jikookers, who MOST LIKELY were not around when this happened, saw the following cut out clip and started thinking that perhaps JK was alluding to the things that he and JM went through BV2, and proceeded to make this a significant moment because of the way JM looked at JK when he was trying to explain the difference between Season 1 and Season 2.

Don’t get me wrong. I do think that the way JM looks at JK in this situation is actually endearing and unique to them, and I’ll explain why. If you watched the commentary video, quite clearly, JK HAD NO CLUE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEASON 1 AND SEASON 2 WAS, at least with regards to them as a band, which was what that live was about “BTS reacting to Bon Voyage Season 2”. 

And the members knew that he didn’t, which is why they proceeded to start teasing him, saying that perhaps Namjoon should help him, but JK is a SORE LOSER; we all know that. He likes to win, no matter what, so he was going to say something, regardless of whether or not it was going to make sense or be impressive, and I think JM knew that and I think that THAT was the reason why JM was looking at JK in that way; he was waiting to see what this boi was going to come up with, and while doing that, his expression betrayed him for a couple of seconds, revealing that, even just that part of JK, was so cute, and like, “Why is he so cute even with stuff like this?!...” kinda way. 

SO TO ANSWER YOU/ANON: JM wasn’t staring at JK in that way because he thought about the fact that, for example, they didn’t show them in their room, or that perhaps they might have been playing footsie, ETC, which CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG, you seem to be implying? 

This may come as a shocker but I honestly don’t believe that Jikook is out there trying to out themselves. I think they are conscious of the situation they are in, be it a homophobic country, members' safety, or global repercussions. They know that, and they live with it the best they can. Believe it or not, they are very careful, until they are not; for a second or two in front of the camera, or longer off-camera AKA fuck up slightly. We still don’t know completely the type of humans they are, but whoever they are and whatever they choose to be for each other, once again; THEY ARE DOING THE BEST THEY CAN TO LOVE, LIVE & SURVIVE. 

Moving on to the last part! FINALLY. 

“IN THE SOOP - 1” 

Anon is talking about this particular moment from IN THE SOOP 1 Episode 1:

If you want to watch the whole episode:

I’ll keep this VERY short …

SO TO ANSWER YOU/ANON: No. I don't think that JM was imitating JK moaning. Because this is what you were implying right? If you had watched the whole episode though, you’d see that JM also imitates RM, so what? JM is randomly going around describing how members moan in their private lives? Common’ Anon …

And I will conclude this LONG-ASS POST discussing why I felt cringe by your whole post: IT WAS THE WHOLE “IMPLYING”. There was a general sexual and dissing undertone to your ask, and I might be wrong about my vibe-check, so as always feel free to correct me, but I really … was like *shiver-down-my-spine* about it. 

I am an adult. I don’t mind discussing adult topics. But like everything in life, there is a way and way to approach the topic. When it comes to people who, for the most part, are NOT DISPLAYING THEIR PRIVATE, AND SEXUAL, LIVES OVERTLY, you must know and understand there are boundaries right? Because even though they are not that open and out, the members are sensual beings in their craft and some also a little bit in their ways, and this part they don’t seem to mind displaying and THAT PART WITHIN PROPER REASON, ETIQUETTE AND BOUNDARIES I am very happy to discuss. 

NAKED is not a series I started to begin an AV CONTENT channel, it is a series to strip down moments to their core. Just re-explaining in case it was lost in translation. The fact that I just so happen to be a very sensual and flirty being is all about me. 

So let us not project. Okay?

Alright. Good. I’ll let y’all go, I'll continue answering ask later when I get back home from work!

Always respectfully yours  💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[layercake]

Why Naoto is Heavily Trans Coded, and How The Discussion Surrounding Him Needs to Change

Hello, I’ve never written or posted anything like this before LOL so this is a bit daunting. But this subject is something that’s been bothering me for a long time, and I wanted to get it out somewhere. So let’s talk about how Naoto Shirogane is heavily trans coded, and how the fandom has a problematic culture surrounding the issue that really needs to change.

Tw // discussion of misogyny , transphobia , and mentions of harassment

Initial Shadow Confrontation 

Since the discussion is most often about what’s “canon” and what’s not, let’s first take a look at what the game actually does give us about Naoto’s character. During the confrontation with Naoto’s shadow, we learn that Naoto idolized detectives as a kid, and wanted to be one himself when he was older.

However, this posed a problem for him in multiple ways. One, he was (is) still a child, and the people in his field don’t take him seriously because of it. He tries desperately to escape this fact, to try and act as mature as possible, but ultimately he can’t change how others will perceive him at his age.

This is what the shadow confrontation focuses on most heavily. But then it switches to discussing the other part of the issue-- the fact that Naoto’s ideal image of a detective is a man, and he “isn’t.” 

At the end, Yukiko says “You must know already that what you yearn for isn’t to become an adult or to become a boy,” and Naoto accepts it. This is what most people point to when saying that Naoto can’t be trans, because he agrees that it wasn’t what he wished for. So, easy, right? If you take this as him telling the truth, then it looks like an open and shut case-- he isn’t trans. But Naoto’s actions don’t really fit what he says here. 

The issue starts with these next lines (below) in particular. To me, Naoto’s tone in the first line is regretful, and doesn’t strike me as a sentiment someone who is cisgender would necessarily hold. Why would he want to “change into a man?” To fit his ideal image of a detective? As he says here, yes.

(Real quick before I continue, it’s not clear in the dialogue screenshot but it’s important to note that Naoto does say “yes” to Yukiko’s question about him not liking being a girl. He nods his head)

The narrative that the game tries to go with after this is that the “ideal image” Naoto wanted to live up to, including the male aspect of it, was unattainable and formed primarily because he felt that was the only way he could be a detective. 

But, is this really that much of a problem? We all look up to certain types of people, people that we want to be like-- and for many, this can factor into gender identity as well. If Naoto really just wanted to be a cool, male detective, that doesn’t at all negate that being trans would be a part of that for him. 

Naoto’s other words and actions, as well as the framing of this scene as a whole, make the scenario feel a lot less believable to me for multiple reasons. Naoto never initiates the conversation that him wanting to be a boy is incorrect-- Yukiko does. Naoto isn’t even the one to trigger his shadow-- Kanji does that. Naoto had a lot less agency in a lot of these decisions than the other characters did with their shadows. 

Naoto’s Continued Actions

The fragility of the narrative Atlus put together for Naoto continues to grow throughout the rest of the game, due to the way he behaves after the initial shadow confrontation.

For starters, it’s implied that Naoto is not his birth name, something that i think a lot of people either miss or forget about-- and yet he continues to go by it throughout the course of the game. We never find out his deadname and he never expresses a desire to share it with anybody.

The day after the “reveal,” Naoto doesn’t change anything about his appearance, mannerisms, or how he presents himself. He honestly seems uncomfortable with the fact that everyone has found out, in a way that felt much like being outed to the whole school, as opposed to finally being seen and accepted for who you “really” are.

I understand that such a drastic shift in people’s perception of you would be overwhelming to anybody, no matter if you were cis or not. But if Atlus really wanted to hone in on the idea that Naoto was happy about this change, they could’ve at least made him…. Well, happy about it. Even if it was just a small smile, just a tiny indication of relief even despite how hard it will be to adjust, it would’ve made it at least a little more believable that this is what he really wanted.

But that’s not the case. Instead, he’s uncomfortable, he still binds, he still wears the school’s male uniform, and he still goes by Naoto. The only time any of this actually changes is if you as the protagonist push him to, which… is a whole other mess.

The fact that Naoto has even gotten to this point, though, speaks more volumes to me than anything else. Passing is not easy. Coming out is not easy. Naoto would have had to go through difficult lengths in order to get not only his school, but the country and media to see him as a man.  He’s a well-known "detective prince".. someone was bound to look up his records and find out about it. That's a huge risk to take.

In addition to this, he binds. He goes by masculine pronouns and a masculine name. He very audibly changes his voice to be more masculine. I don’t know how to tell you this, but this is just…. not something cis people do? At least not comfortably. 

In fact, doing all of this would have been incredibly uncomfortable for Naoto if he was cis. As someone who experiences dysphoria, looking like and being seen as a gender you are not can be really, really painful. If transitioning was something he really didn’t want, why would he put himself through all of that? Was it really to escape misogyny? Me asking this isn’t minimizing the issue at all, because I understand that it’s incredibly serious and hard for countless women. But I would generally think someone’s first reaction to facing misogyny isn’t to… completely change their identity and present as a different gender.

On top of being probably the hardest option of escaping misogyny available to him, and one of the most uncomfortable, presenting as a man doesn’t necessarily get rid of any prejudices Naoto may face. In fact, I would argue that it’s considerably more dangerous. Especially in a rural town like Inaba, where people seem to not really understand or approve of being LGBT. Naoto is smart, he would have thought of all of this. So why?

Inherent Transphobia of Naoto’s Arc 

There is something to be said about how much misogyny is present in Japan’s workforce, especially in fields like Naoto’s, and the importance there is in discussing that. The base idea behind his struggles and message isn’t inherently a bad one, but the way the game went about it was problematic because it put down transgender identities in the process.

The first time I watched Naoto’s shadow confrontation, it was really distressing to me. The game continuously repeats the idea that you can’t “cross the barrier of the sexes,” that Naoto “can never really be a man,” and  that “you can change your name, but you can never change who you “really” are.” I hope I don’t need to explain why this is a problem.

Naoto’s wish to be a man, regardless of what was driving it, is depicted as something temporary and childish. Something that Naoto “didn’t really want,”  something that was just an excuse to run away from the misogyny he was facing. Even if it was unintentional, this message is incredibly harmful to transgender people.

It would have been a better and much more coherent message about misogyny if the writers had steered clear of trans themes entirely. In fact, I think they did so well with Sae’s character in Persona 5-- she’s in the same field of work, facing very similar struggles, but she doesn’t react in the same way as Naoto at all. 

Kanji and Homophobia 

It’s even worse that Naoto’s “reveal,” on top of being problematic by itself, is used as a method to bury Kanji’s exploration of his own sexuality. The problems with Kanji’s own shadow are bad enough to warrant their own long rant, but the reveal that Naoto was “really a girl” this whole time allows the story to completely wave off his gayness for good.

This isn’t something unique to this game-- the trope of “two boys fall in love, but one of them turns out to be a girl so it’s fine” has been used numerous times in other media to explore the topic half-assedly. It plays with the “exoticness” or “drama” of a gay romance, but backs off at the end in order to uphold societal norms and prevent backlash. 

This doesn’t really give any kind of good commentary on gay relationships, nor does it depict them in a positive or helpful manner. It isn’t something that these games should be getting kudos for doing.��

Misogyny?

I think there’s also something to be said about how poignantly bad Atlus is at really tackling the problem of misogyny. It tries, especially with characters like Ann and Sae, and in certain aspects it can succeed. But then they have scenes like the pageant and Every Beach Scene Ever, where the women are forced to wear swimsuits or revealing clothing against their will, or their bodies are talked about without their consent. There is consistently a character in each persona game who is forced to do the whole misogynistic dipshit gimmick that’s supposed to be funny-- Junpei, Yosuke, Teddie, Morgana, Ryuji-- and while this is obviously not a Persona specific problem by a longshot, it’s still indicative of how unsuccessful these games often are in delivering the message that society’s systemic misogyny is an issue.

This is something I think about a lot when people try and argue that Naoto’s story can’t be about him being trans because it’s “an important message about misogyny.” Atlus often doesn’t deliver on such stories already, and they certainly didn’t with Naoto. As soon as Naoto returns to “living as a woman” he’s subjected to the same misogyny that the other girls are. His chest is commented on, he’s forced to be in the beauty pageant, he’s made uncomfortable in the bath scenes-- really, all Atlus did after the reveal was make the problem worse for him. 

On top of this, his story never actually meaningfully tackles the problem of misogyny in the detective force. It’s not a major part of his social link or the general plot of the game-- honestly, it’s barely even touched on at all after the initial confrontation. Thus, the idea that “Naoto can’t be trans because it erases a story about misogyny” is just plain untrue. There never was a coherent one in the first place.

Problems Within the Fandom

Despite all of this, there is such an intense backlash from the majority of the fandom if anybody dares to bring up these issues with Naoto’s story. Naoto being trans is generally seen as something ridiculous and stupid, or something to insult and mock people for.

I understand that there's always going to be people who say provocative stuff like this, no matter what anyone does, and that it’s not something exclusive to this particular fandom or character. But the problem is that this rhetoric isn't just from them anymore--the consensus among so much of the fandom seems to be either that Naoto absolutely cannot be trans, or that speaking about it at all is "annoying discourse" and taboo. Even from fans that are LGBT or allies themselves. 

This in and of itself is such a telling thing to me. if you find yourself getting angry about the subject, really ask yourself why. Is it such a problem for people to reclaim a transphobic story? Is it such a problem for a character to be trans in the first place?  There is room for discussion and nuance regarding this situation, but we have to make it for ourselves. We can accept that Atlus’s base game will never actually give us a coherent story about either misogyny nor being transgender with Naoto’s story. But petty arguments and insults thrown at people who bring up this topic isn’t any of that-- it’s just poorly masked transphobia. 

So at the end of the day, no, Naoto being is trans is not “canon.” Of course Naoto would not actually be allowed to be trans, he is a main character in a game series where the only explicitly LGBT characters have been consistently buried, stereotyped, or demonized with only a few rare exceptions.

Yes, you’re allowed to headcanon whatever you want about him. I can’t stop you from wanting a story about misogyny, or from seeing Naoto’s gender as something more fluid than I do. But you can’t ignore the fact that his story, as written in canon, is laden with transphobia despite its intentions. It’s not a ridiculous or harmful thing for trans people to want to reclaim that.

There are still a lot more issues with how Naoto is treated in the game-- especially in his romance route-- but that’s a whole other can of worms I’m not ready to unpack today lol

Hopefully all of this made sense though, and feel free to bring up anything else I may have missed or point out any issues you might have with it :-) Thanks for reading!

[fromiftowhen]

The Rookie/Chenford 3x03 Thoughts

This episode of The Rookie was really well done. It was important, and I felt like the show really worked hard to tackle a lot of important topics. I’m not going to go in depth into those, but I’m very intrigued to see how the show tackles the upcoming episodes. 

That being said, a few small things I loved and a few things I still need addressed this season:

LOVED:

Harper asking about Tim’s “performance anxiety.” “There are pills for that, you know.” Nyla Harper is my third favorite character (obviously after Tim and Lucy) and she proved that about nine thousand times tonight, starting with this amazing, kind of crass joke that made me laugh out loud. I love that they seem to genuinely respect and like each other. She is wonderful. She steals the scene every single time, she makes me like Nolan more, and she’s badass. And Tim losing first to Lopez for four years, and then to HIS ROOKIE was amazing. It’ll probably keep him up at night, and turn him on, so. That’s something I’m not going to stop thinking about.

“Get changed.” “Yes, sir.” Every single second of this little scene was perfection. From Tim’s tone of voice to Lucy’s flirty head tilt. I yelled about this on Twitter, but it was basically straight up porn and now I need it in an entirely different context. 

“Bad puppy.” Eric Winter is KILLING IT this season, looks wise and attitude wise. It’s like somehow he’s made Bradford even more attractive, and I really, truly was not aware that was possible. His expressions and tone, especially around Lucy, are just top notch this season. And their height difference was on full display this episode, so thanks for that. I desperately needed an end scene for Tim and Lucy to calm the little disagreement of sorts they had, but I also think it said a lot about their relationship that it didn’t necessarily feel needed - they can call each other on their stuff and be a little angry but still be okay. (Although last episode left me needing an ending scene with them, too, so I’m a little disappointed.) In my ideal world, he would have walked out as Tamara and Lucy were talking and Lucy would have (easily) badgered him into buying both her and Tamara dinner and then checking on Tamara’s living situation with her. 

“I stand with him.” I don’t fully believe Lucy is entirely responsible for this, because no matter how soft he may be for her, Tim is still his own man and he isn’t that easily swayed. So this was him, knowing he needed to reevaluate, and her helping him finally realize now is the time. And as a side note, I’m obsessed with him calling West Jackson a couple times now. It feels very much like influence from Lucy, and him relaxing a tiny bit, and I’m into it. Eric and Titus play so well off each other, they’re one of my favorite dynamics on the show, so if Tim is going to be involved in this Stanton storyline, I’m all the more for it giving me more Tim and Jackson interaction. And I’m glad their conversation from the last episode was addressed -- I wasn’t happy with what Tim told him, and tonight’s episode felt like a make up for that. 

STILL NEED ADDRESSED:

I need some mention of Rachel and Emmett. I don’t particularly want mentions of either of them, but I need them to clue me into how the writers are going to handle them this season. Like. Just let them go gracefully, don’t drag out relationships no one was into, please. But either way, tell us sooner rather than later what’s going on. This show isn’t wildly great at consistency, so I’m gonna need some clarification on these two relationships soon. 

(I know this won’t happen, but --) Stop putting Nolan in these ridiculous situations. A meth lab last episode, a scuba gear wearing shooter out of the blue this episode? I think it’s common knowledge he isn’t my favorite character (literally, besides Stanton, who doesn’t count since he’s not a main cast member, Nolan is my LEAST favorite character)  but come on. The guy doesn’t have to be the hero all the time. 

The Detective Lopez Factor I LOVE ANGELA LOPEZ so much. SO MUCH. I already miss her and Jackson together all the time, so I’m glad we got that today. Them checking in with each other was great. And I’m so, so happy she’s got her promotion. I honestly would watch a show just about her kicking ass and being pregnant and sparring with Wesley, with occasional guest appearances by Tim and Jackson. I’m not super wild about what this storyline has done to the plot lines and pacing of the show, though. I feel like they’re trying to straddle this razor thin line of either too many plot lines (last week) or them converging in random, not always believable ways (this week.) I know it’s TV, whatever, but. Sometimes it’s too much. Just let Angela be a kickass detective, and SAFE, and let her and Wesley keep setting the screen on fire with their chemistry, AND find some way to get the pacing a little better, and we’ll be good.  

[blossom-hwa]

Danger: Obsidian |1| - JUYEON

Pairing: Juyeon x gender neutral!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, fantasy, royalty!au

Triggers: death, semi-graphic depictions of blood

Word Count: 5.1k

Lesson 4: sometimes, it is not your duty or even your right to render judgment. Stepping back does not always constitute cowardice.

Previous: Amethyst >> Obsidian: Part 1 | Part 2 >> Next: Ruby

TBZ Masterlist | Danger | Kingdom

Tag list [ dm or send an ask to be added! ]: will be reblogged so this shows up in the tags (links will also be added later)

Juyeon would dearly love to know just how these soldiers and mages keep tracking him and Kevin down.

Seriously. They’ve covered their tracks as best as they can, leaving not a single footprint behind (literal and metaphorical) wherever they don’t have to. Yet somehow, in every other town they end up, either some ivory soldier manages to find them, or they spot someone suspicious looking around who turns out to be on Somin’s side.

At this point, Juyeon doesn’t even care about finding more jewels. All he can focus on is this game of cat and mouse with Somin, where the queen knows how to find them while they have no way of fighting back.

Not very fair odds, but since when has Somin played fair?

(“Never,” Kevin reminds him that terrifying time they were crouched together beneath a trash heap (yes, beneath – not even behind, like in Ember) and Juyeon hissed out the question in a futile attempt at keeping himself together. “Not even when we were kids.”

He remembers all too well.)

In a way, Juyeon has to thank her, though. In the past few months, he probably hasn’t gotten more than an average of three hours of sleep a night (Kevin even less). It might be turning his body into a useless lump of flesh and bones, but at least he doesn’t have the nightmares.

(The nightmares in which Sunwoo stares at him with betrayed eyes and a bloody smile slit into his throat while Mage Han tells him he will never be fit to be king.

On those nights, Juyeon almost wishes for the dream of jeweled roses and mysterious figures to take the nightmare’s place. Then he remembers silver bushes and shades that look too much like Sunwoo to be a coincidence and erases that wish immediately.)

It’s raining tonight. Though Juyeon normally wouldn’t enjoy rain while he’s forced to stay outdoors, if it’s slowing him and Kevin down, it means any pursuants have been hindered, too. He and Kevin throw themselves under a large tree at the edge of a forest, the foliage blocking most of the downpour as they try not to feel so damn cold.

No sleep, Juyeon tells himself, despite his eyelids beginning to drag down. No sleep. No sleep. He needs to say alert in case the guards somehow find them through the dripping rain.

Even then, he almost drifts off, the relentless pounding of water on the forest floor soothing his brain into slumber. Thankfully, Kevin jerks him awake when the downpour slows, pointing up the tree they’re sheltered under. “Let’s go, Juyeon.”

They climb up the tree – Kevin nearly falls twice, Juyeon once – and settle themselves among the large branches. Between the dark and the dense leaves, it’ll be hard for anyone to see them. And even if they do, being up high has more of an advantage than being on the ground.

(Unless you happen to be a certain clumsy Onyx prince who trips over his own feet when he isn’t looking, but whatever)

Minutes, then hours pass in darkness. Juyeon feels his eyes beginning to droop once more.

Then Kevin starts.

In a flash, Juyeon’s wide awake, turning to his friend. His eyes, barely visible in the night, raise the question he can’t speak.

Kevin shrugs. “Heard something,” he whispers, barely audible over the pattering rain. “Probably nothing.”

It might be nothing, but Juyeon peers through the leaves anyway. “Probably nothing” was a mistake they made one too many times when they started out after finding the amethyst. Before then, they had Sunwoo to keep them cautious and in check.

Sunwoo.

Juyeon’s throat chokes. Weeks have dulled the pain, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still exist. He swallows down the lump, though, keeping his eyes trained on the ground.

Caution can’t take a backseat to emotion, after all.

After one, two, three moments of silence, Juyeon’s about to relax, about to return to his original position on the tree branch and brush it off as nothing.

Then he hears it, something padding on the damp earth.

Kevin looks down too, back tense. Juyeon risks a glance at his friend. “Be ready to run,” he murmurs, barely moving his lips. A terse nod follows.

A figure, relatively tall and somewhat familiar, slips through the trees. Juyeon frowns. Familiarity rarely bodes well – it usually signals a mage who’s gotten too close one too many times – but this…

Kevin lets out an audible gasp. Before Juyeon can stop him, he’s throwing himself down the tree with none of his usual grace and tackling the figure to the ground.

Castling queens. Juyeon curses under his breath as he begins climbing down the tree. “Kevin –”

Then the figure stands, Kevin helping him up with a blinding, teary smile on his face.

Juyeon almost loses his grip on the tree.

“Jacob,” he whispers. “Pawns and – Jacob.”

The mage grins shakily, his signature gentle smile spread over his face. “Hi.”

. . . . .

With the exception of the day he was broken out of the ivory palace, Jacob has never felt so relieved to see a familiar face – two, actually. Wrapped in his cousin’s arms, he almost breaks down right then and there. The tears start to fall the second Juyeon puts a hand on his shoulder.

It’s hard to tell between the rain and the dark, but Juyeon and Kevin seem to be crying too. They all stand together for a few minutes in silence, at least, not saying anything as rain drips around them.

“How did you find us?” Kevin finally asks. “Sunmi said something about how you could track me, but you were so far away…”

“Yes.” Jacob wipes away the last of the warm tears on his face. “I couldn’t sense you at first, obviously. Even having spent so much time with you, your magic trace isn’t nearly strong enough for that. When the Valkyries came, they told me you were starting off in Castia, so I shifted there first.”

“The Valkyries?” Juyeon’s tone turns apprehensive. “Do you know if any of them escaped?”

His heart stings. It really stings as Jacob lowers his head, closing his eyes against the memories washing through his mind of a single Valkyrie, a single knight, the knight he loved who sent him away.

“No,” he whispers. “I don’t know. They… they told me to leave.”

And he left. It was his duty, his responsibility.

None of that means he had to like it, though.

Kevin holds his hand, squeezes it. The slight pressure of his palm comforts Jacob, a spot of warmth amidst the cold rain.

“I’m sorry,” Juyeon murmurs. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s not your fault.” Jacob tries to smile. “I would be curious too. Anyway, when I got to Castia, you were already gone, so I tracked the traces of your magic that you left behind. And followed the rumors.”

Juyeon groans. “Rumors?”

“Come on, Juyeon.” Kevin nudges him. “After we tore a jewel right off the queen’s neck, you thought there wouldn’t be any gossip about that? Nothing at all?”

Jacob frowns. That doesn’t add up. “You tore a jewel off her neck? I thought it was someone else.”

Uncomfortable silence falls over the trio. Jacob swallows. Sensitive topic. “Sorry –”

“No, it’s fine.” Juyeon swallows hard, like he’s unsticking something from the back of his throat. “I… we had someone with us. His name was Sunwoo. He’s dead now. One of the mages following us killed him.” His fists clench visibly even in the dark. “And then I killed the mage.”

Jacob blinks. His Highness, the kind, gentle, clumsy Crown Prince Lee Juyeon, killed someone? Killed a mage? He almost doesn’t believe it, but the haunted look on Juyeon’s face and Kevin’s downcast eyes tell him the truth.

Forget what he said before about familiar faces. Juyeon and Kevin look the same, have the same lips and noses and bone structures as before. But the memories that haunt their eyes speak of different people, people who have changed in the few months since he last saw them.

Juyeon looks over at Jacob, barely meeting his gaze. It takes him a second to understand why, but the fear visible in Juyeon’s eyes speaks volumes.

He must be afraid Jacob will judge him for it.

A little part of Jacob wants to reel and crumble with Juyeon’s admission. Even as a mage, he’s never hurt anyone on purpose, much less killed someone. But a larger part, a much larger part that has seen and lived through a mere fraction of the Ivory Queen’s horrors, understands her control and the situations she’s created that sometimes force decisions.

Like when he had to leave his Valkyrie behind.

Jacob takes one of Juyeon’s limp, cold hands and holds it between his own. “Ivory mages can’t be trusted,” he says.

The prince’s head rises.

Still squeezing Juyeon’s hand, Jacob nods once, memories flooding his brain of the last minutes he spent in the ivory palace. “Mage Kang was the one who led me out of the dungeon,” he says.

Kevin gasps. “Kang, too?”

“Yes.” Jacob nods, bitterness twisting his lips. “And there was at least one more in the room before I escaped. I don’t know what kind of hold the Ivory Queen has over them, but if it’s strong enough for them to betray the board, then I can’t fault you for killing one of them. No one can. Especially if they forced your hand.”

Silence, save for the slowing patter of raindrops on the grass. Jacob doesn’t care that water is sliding down his face, freezing his skin. The warmth of company, even with these stark confessions, is more than enough to make up for it.

“So what rumors did you hear?” Kevin finally asks, a half-smile quirking his lips that Jacob returns. “Must’ve been some crazy ones, if you were able to follow them all the way here.”

A small laugh leaves Jacob’s lips. “I heard one that you were part of a band of jewel robbers called the Phantom Thieves,” he says, which makes both Juyeon and his cousin snort. “I didn’t have enough underground contacts to get the full picture, but once I found a trail of your magic and followed you to Ember, I heard about scuffles in the forest and was able to trace you here. You move fast.” He smiles, ruffling the red cloak on his back ruefully. “I might’ve caught up sooner if I wasn’t stuck charming this.”

“Why?” Kevin frowns.

“If a mage knew me well enough, which several of them did because I trained with them, they could trace me through my magic if I didn’t try to mask it.” Jacob looks at the prince, whose face is now covered in a stricken expression. “What?”

Juyeon swallows. “Could a mage track us through the jewels from the crown? From magic traces or something?”

Next to him, Kevin gasps. “By the higher orders… that’s how they traced us,” he whispers. “Pawns and kings.”

“You’re probably right.” Jacob holds out a hand. “Let me see them?”

Juyeon produces two gems from his pocket, one blue and one purple. Beneath the faint moonlight beginning to peek out from the clouds, they glitter in the dark.

A soft gasp rises in Jacob’s throat as he takes them, but he keeps it down. The sapphire is set into a necklace, while heavy board surrounds the amethyst. He frowns. “Why are they so…”

“Somin set the sapphire into a necklace, and I cut the amethyst out the back of a painting,” Kevin supplies. He cringes. “Tell you later. We couldn’t detach them, I think they’re bound by magic.”

The jewels hum with energy in his hands. Definitely magic. “I’ll see if I can free them,” Jacob promises. “And the traces are faint, but…” His eyes narrow as he focuses on the amethyst. “A trained mage will recognize even the weakest bits of their own magic. With the skill of the mages who must have torn the jewels from the crown, it wouldn’t have been hard.”

Juyeon nods, outstretching a hand to take the gems back, but Jacob stays fixated on the amethyst. Something about the faint trace feels familiar, awfully familiar.

He closes his eyes, focused on the slight hum emanating from the purple gem.

Oh.

Okay.

“Mage Jung,” he whispers, opening his eyes again. “I recognize this trace. High Mage Jung tore it from the crown.”

Juyeon’s face turns white. “Are you… are you sure.”

Jacob sends a searching glance at his cousin, asking a question with his eyes. Why does Mage Jung’s name trigger the prince so much? Surely it isn’t just the betrayal – it isn’t like he and the mage were extremely close or anything.

Kevin’s eyebrows knit in grief and fury. “He killed Changmin,” he states coldly.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Jacob knew the young gray mage was dead, heard it when he was in the dungeons under the Ivory palace. But to hear that one of the highest mages in the land killed him, one of the most powerful protectors of the balance…

He sits down. His legs definitely don’t have the strength to keep holding him up. “Queens.” He looks at Juyeon, praying he won’t get the confirmation he doesn’t want to receive. “How do you know?”

“A dream,” Juyeon replies shortly. “The same dream that took me on this jewel chase.”

Dreams can be unreliable, Jacob wants to say. Not a single piece of his body wants to believe what his cousin and the prince are saying. But neither of them is known to lie, and if Juyeon was so affected by this dream that he left his kingdom to pursue its message, then it must be true.

“Tell me about the dream?”

Juyeon tells it all, tells of jewel-toned roses and silver leaves and a dead gray mage who passed on his insignia. It sounds unbelievable, even more so than some of the legends Jacob heard as a child, but when Juyeon produces Changmin’s golden symbol from around his neck, he knows it must be real.

“Changmin showed me his last moments,” Juyeon says, subdued. “It was a different mage who actually pulled the knife, a woman named Bom, but Mage Jung… he was there. He might as well have done it, for all he betrayed us.”

Castling queens.

There’s no gray mage. No heir. The Ivory Queen is murderous and power-hungry, and there is no king of the Onyx Kingdom because the crown has been stolen and dismantled.

Everything is so much worse than he thought.

Jacob resists the urge to bury his face in his hands and cry. Instead, legs still trembling, he stands again. Kevin grabs his arm before he can fall. “Okay,” he breathes. “Okay.”

It’s not okay. None of this is okay. But Jacob can’t focus on any of that right now or he’ll start spiraling. He needs to think about the present, not the past, and what he can do to prevent more of this from happening. “Where were you going next?” he asks, tearing his mind away from Juyeon’s revelations. “Did you have a plan, or were you just running from the trackers?”

“Just running.” Juyeon winces. “We couldn’t find any leads after the amethyst. Honestly, we found out about these two mostly by luck.”

Jacob stares down at the amethyst, softly glowing in his hand. “I could try to track Mage Jung’s magic,” he says as the faint hum twists with the magic simmering under his skin. “See if it takes us anywhere. It’d be kind of a hit or miss at first since I don’t have any specific leads on where he is, but if we travel further into the Ivory Kingdom, I might pick up on something.”

Juyeon looks at Kevin, who shrugs. “It’s our best bet,” he says. “Like you said, we don’t have any other leads.”

“Agreed.” Juyeon nods. “But what about the tracking? The rain might’ve stopped them for a bit, but it’s only a matter of time before soldiers or mages find us again.”

A sigh of relief escapes Jacob’s lips. This, at least, he can help resolve. “Kevin can sew the jewels into my cloak,” he offers. “Their magic is probably too strong to completely mask, but the charm in the cloth will subdue it enough that hopefully anyone trying to trace will have a harder time of it.”

Similar relief spreads across Juyeon’s face. “All right. Sew the jewels in tonight, and then try to get some rest,” he directs. “We start moving tomorrow.”

And as the pallor fades from the prince’s cheeks, a familiar sharp-eyed determination replaces his previous blank expression, sending relief washing through Jacob’s mind. This is the Juyeon he knows, the Juyeon who would do anything for his kingdom, no matter how hopeless the situation.

Familiarity springs back into Jacob’s chest, and he gains the courage to smile once more.

. . . . .

It takes a month, but after several dead ends and a few too many brushes with Ivory mages to be comfortable (less than they probably would’ve encountered without the masking spell, but still), they end up in a small, sleepy town, more like a tiny village than anything, at the outskirts of the Ivory Kingdom.

Juyeon’s never been here, not on any of his official and unofficial visits to the kingdom. Even Kevin, whose wanderings have taken him all over the Board, seems confused by this place. But Jacob is adamant.

“The trace is strong here,” he says again, looking pale with exhaustion as Kevin forces him to drink another cup of water. Wrapped in his cloak, he looks much smaller, much frailer than Juyeon’s ever seen him.

Only then does Juyeon realize how much of a toll tracking them must have taken on the mage. He really shouldn’t have made them move so quickly as soon as Jacob found them. It’s just that they were being tracked, and the further away they got, the better it would be.

But now that Jacob’s in this condition?

Juyeon doesn’t regret it, exactly. It’s just that he would much rather be in a different position.

Wouldn’t they all?

For once, Juyeon ends up being one of the first choices to scout the village. Jacob wants to go, but Kevin forces him to stay behind (“First of all, you just spent a month tracking down a powerful mage, so you need rest. Second, if Mage Jung somehow manages to get a whiff of your trace –” “It’s not like you can smell it, Kevin –” “– then we’re fresh out a mage to put the crown back together.”). Jacob only agrees on the condition that Kevin stays behind so that when he wakes up, he can force his cousin to take a nap.

So Juyeon leaves them to their naps and bickering and walks the fringes of the town, careful not to get close to anyone he sees. A small town means less chance of recognition, but it also means a stranger is more noticeable.

There isn’t much. A few houses, a lot of grass, a rolling gray sky. Feels a bit dismal.

Doesn’t exactly help with his mood.

He doesn’t find anything, not on his path. When Kevin takes his place in the afternoon, he has similar luck. Several days pass and Juyeon’s privately beginning to wonder just what Jacob really sensed, but the mage is so sure that this is the place that he has no choice but to comply.

After an hour of skulking around, hiding behind trees or pretending to act natural when someone appears in the distance, Juyeon’s about to give up for the fifth day in a row. There’s nothing here, nothing that he can sense, anyway. Maybe they should start bringing Jacob along. He might be able to pick out something Juyeon can’t because he wasn’t blessed with the gift of magic.

Then he sees a familiar looking building in the distance and has to sit down.

He’s just been punched in the gut. Metaphorically. No one else is here – this area feels even emptier than the forest he and Kevin were hiding in when Jacob found them – but Juyeon still gasps like a fist drove itself into his stomach.

It’s just a shrine rooftop in the distance. Nothing much. But when Juyeon gathers the courage to look over once again, he has to avert his gaze because all he can think of is how the smoke from Sunwoo’s burned body rose over the roof of the shrine back in Ember.

Castling queens, the gray sky even looks like the wispy smoke that floated up. Juyeon can almost smell the faint scent of burning flesh.

He suppresses the urge to throw up.

Finally, he stands on shaky legs, ready to turn away and leave this shrine in the background so he doesn’t have to look at it again. But something clicks in his mind and he stops.

A shrine is where the domain’s head mage stays. It’s the first thing any child of Chess learns – if anything happens and you can’t find your parents, go to the shrine and find the mage.

Juyeon may not be a child any longer, but he’s certainly looking for a mage.

Queens, he’s dumb. This should have been his plan from the start. Slowly, reluctantly, his feet make their way across the grass towards the polished white rooftop he so wanted to avoid.

The shrine looks deserted, at first glance. White stone shines dully in the faint sunlight while wind whistles listlessly through the air. Juyeon isn’t stupid enough to go inside, so he crouches down behind a few scraggly bushes and prays that no one will see his half-dead body between the branches.

Not the best plan of action. He might honestly have better luck entering the shrine. But Kevin and Jacob are waiting for him to come back, so he needs to be cautious for now, at least.

Then a door swings open. A dark-haired boy steps out, probably no older than Juyeon.

Large eyes. A wide mouth usually curved into a smile.

It takes all of Juyeon’s willpower to remain silent and not call out Hwanwoong’s name. What is he doing here? Was he captured? Is there anyone else with him?

Does he have any information about Mage Jung, or has he already disappeared?

Hwanwoong doesn’t stay out long enough to catch Juyeon’s eye, just pokes his head out the door and looks around before heading back inside. But even then, Juyeon’s heart won’t stop racing.

He’s found one of the missing mages, one of those captured by the Ivory Kingdom. Possibly more are trapped inside. If he can just find a way to speak to Hwanwoong, to free anyone captured with him…

Allies are as useful as gems, especially if they have magic on their side.

. . . . .

When Juyeon comes back one afternoon and tells Jacob and Kevin that he saw Hwanwoong, Jacob doesn’t dare believe him. The last time he saw the young mage-in-training was months ago, before the war broke out and he was thrown into prison.

If Hwanwoong wasn’t dead already, he was captured. There is no reason for Jacob to believe that he’s really here in this tiny town and not just a figment of Juyeon’s imagination. There’s no room for hope.

Then Juyeon returns the next day with a strange smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He disappears again as the sun is beginning to set, and after the last rays have sunk below the horizon, two figures approach Kevin, who’s in the middle of telling Jacob they should maybe go looking for Juyeon.

Hwanwoong’s large eyes are just visible in the dying light of the fire Kevin lit.

Jacob blinks once, twice. It’s a hallucination, he’s sure of it – he lost hope of finding another alive and uncaptured Onyx mage when the Valkyries helped him escape. There’s no way this Hwanwoong is real.

Then the mage-in-training smiles, and Jacob reaches forward to crush the younger boy into a hug.

“Hwanwoong,” he gasps. “Queens, I thought I would never see you again.”

“I thought so too.” Hwanwoong laughs, pulling away this time to hold Kevin close. “I heard rumors when we were traveling here, but I didn’t dare believe they were true.”

Juyeon smiles, really smiles, joy glittering in his eyes under the moonlight. “Told you, Jacob. I wasn’t hallucinating.”

Jacob huffs. “Can you blame me?”

Eventually, though, the mood dampens when they sit around the dying coals of Kevin’s fire. The eerie lighting only makes the shadows on Hwanwoong’s face deeper as they move strangely in his eyes.

Jacob swallows. He’s never been the greatest with scary things, and Hwanwoong looks more terrifying than any ghost he’s ever envisioned. It isn’t just the physical shadows – darkness washes across the mage’s young face when Juyeon asks him how he came here, a darkness that mimics the haunted look Jacob’s seen far too often in Juyeon’s and Kevin’s eyes.

Just how much has Hwanwoong suffered since he managed to make this escape?

“I was studying with a mixed group of mages in the Ivory Kingdom when the queen unleashed her… attack.” Hwanwoong stares into the glowing coals. “We were separated. Ivory students were taken somewhere else, I don’t know where, while the rest of us were held in shrines around the capital. My teacher, the head of our group, said that he would help us escape, but when that day came, he betrayed us.”

Jacob fights the urge not to throw up. First Jung, then Kang, and now… “Who was it?”

“Lim Jaebum.” Hwanwoong spits the name with a disgust that feels so out of place on his gentle features. “We fought back against him, but he had backup and we didn’t, and then Geonhak…”

Even in the dim red light of the coals, Kevin’s face is visibly white. Jacob imagines he looks much the same.

Juyeon leans forward, eyes frantic. “Geonhak?”

Hwanwoong breathes a shaky, shaky breath. His fingers tear grass from the ground he’s sitting on. Jacob takes his clenched fist and holds it gently, even as his own hands threaten to tremble.

“Geonhak’s dead.” Hwanwoong closes his eyes for a moment. Breathes again. “He died.”

Jacob can’t stop his fingers from shaking this time.

“After we got thrown into the dungeons, Youngjo and a few others started planning an escape.” Hwanwoong’s face twists with grief and fury. “It might have worked, actually, but someone snitched. I don’t know who it was – if I did, I honestly might have killed them – but they caught the leaders and made us watch their executions.”

Three audible gasps sound around the dead coals. Jacob holds Hwanwoong’s hand in a vice grip. Vaguely, he thinks that the younger boy will be lucky if he doesn’t lose circulation in his fingers.

“We stopped trying to escape then. We just wanted to keep everyone alive, at that point,” Hwanwoong continues, plowing on as though to tell the story as fast as he can without breaking down. “Then they started splitting us up to go to different places, and I ended up here about a month ago with Seoho, Keonhee, and Dongju under High Mage Jung. We were lucky just to be kept together.”

“So Mage Jung is still here,” Juyeon chokes out, looking vaguely sick. He and Kevin grip each other’s hands like they’re the only thing keeping them grounded. “He’s still here, at the shrine.”

Hwanwoong nods. “Yes.”

A tiny fire lights itself in Juyeon’s eyes. “Do you know if he’s hiding something? Keeping something here? A jewel, maybe?”

Slowly, a small smile begins to curve Hwanwoong’s lips. Jacob mentally breathes a sigh of relief at the familiar expression. “He’s keeping a piece of obsidian hidden very well,” the young mage replies, eyes twinkling. Then the glimmer dims, replaced with icy disgust. “It’s encased in flame, though. A mage’s flame.”

A mage’s flame.

Sacred flame.

The fire used to burn bodies, used to send a soul to rest.

Holy fire, unique to every mage, the strongest manifestation of a mage’s magic, a fire that is not to be used lightly and, unless in severe cases, only in the face of death or mutiny against the Board.

And now, used to safeguard a jewel that doesn’t even belong to the kingdom.

Jacob’s on his feet before he even realizes it. “What?”

Hwanwoong nods, fury painting his face. “I know.”

“That’s… that’s desecration,” Jacob says, staring at the mage still sitting on the ground. “Desecration of his own magic, to use the flame in any situation other than maintaining the balance of the Board. It’s almost as bad as –”

Almost as bad as killing a gray mage and a royal in the holiest shrine of the two kingdoms.

Juyeon’s and Kevin’s eyes cloud over. Jacob doesn’t dare to finish his sentence as he sits back down.

“We’ve talked about trying to douse the flame and escape, but we’re not strong enough,” Hwanwoong says quietly, picking at the grass again. “Seoho’s the only one who’s finished his training, and without Youngjo and Geonhak, he’s… he’s had his hands full.” He swallows. “High Mage Jung is too powerful. It’s why I told Juyeon to meet me at night – if I’d gone missing during the day, he would’ve noticed the lack of magic in the air. Asleep, he’s less sensitive.” Hwanwoong’s gaze turns sharp as he looks up at Jacob. “But you have several more years of experience. If His Highness and the amethyst heir can hold the mage back while the rest of us try to put out the flame…”

Jacob doesn’t wait for Juyeon’s approval before he nods. “Yes. I’ll do it.” Then he looks at the prince apprehensively. Juyeon’s the leader, after all – what if he disagrees?

But the prince’s eyes flash with the same furious disgust Jacob feels simmering in his own chest. “It’s a decent plan, the best that we’ve got right now.”

Kevin nods sharply. “I agree. Even if he didn’t have the jewel, he’s done too much for us to let this go.” His face is hard, a complete opposite of the usual gentle and teasing gaze Jacob is used to, but he can’t find it in his heart to care. After all, he agrees.

There will be no mercy, not even for former mentors. A traitor is a traitor, after all, in the eyes of justice.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for Jacob to not go feral and kill everything bc my man is on the verge)

[astralaffairs]

If you're taking asks, can I get "did you really have to give me so many hickeys" with Laurens? Thank you! I've re-read Freedom of the Press too many times to count, I love it so much

aww thank you!! i've had major writer's block with fotp 05, so i hope these drabbles hold y'all over until I can get it out. side note -- i've been doing sm writing for john lately and?? he's absolutely adorable???

---

You'd been avoiding John's workplace for about as long as you'd known him. You'd met him through a mutual friend, incidentally one of his colleagues, and hearing them discuss their job, their coworkers and clients, turned you off to the corporate world the moment you began to learn about it. Since you and he had been together, of course, he'd told you more and more, and since you'd moved in with him, you'd begun to feel like you could reconstruct his entire office from the ground up. As much as you hated the topic, it was his life, and if you wanted him, it came with the role. It was a trade-off you were more than eager to make.

However, actually breaking the boundary between your and his worlds was a line you hadn't yet crossed. So when he asked you to go his annual office party, a celebration of the corporation's progress and profits, your resistance was all but endless. He saw the party as the next step in your relationship; you saw it as pushing you further out of it.

When the time came, you couldn't say no -- it was clear how much this meant to him, and one night out of the rest of your life felt like a small sacrifice to make.

So that was exactly how you found yourself in the over-glamorous sixtieth floor of a corporate skyscraper. (John had been quick to catch onto the fact that "corporate" was a turn-off. At least you wouldn't be trying to rub one out in his place of work.) It wasn't quite what you'd expected, admittedly. Marble floors, glass doors and walls, gilded chandeliers, floor-to-ceiling windows -- you could go on.

It was a black-tie event. You'd arrived at the floor of the office huddled close to John, his arm around your waist, you pleading with him until the very last minute to go home as he only chuckled, kissed your cheek and all but pulled you out of the elevator.

"But what if we went home," you whined in his ear, clinging to his arm, and he only rolled his eyes, now scanning the room for who-knows-what. A sly smile crept onto your face as you leaned in, pulling him closer. "Promise I'd make it worth your time."

He could hear the mischief in your tone, and while he appeared moderately amused at your attempts, he gave you a pointed look. "Not the time, baby. Can you be good, just for one night?"

Your lips fell into a hard line, considering his demeanor as he raised an eyebrow, and you sighed. With your arms around his neck, you pulled him down to your level so you could kiss him on the nose. "Only for you," you whispered, and his smile was undeniable as he briefly leaned down to kiss you properly.

"Then c'mon."

You swallowed your exhausted groan as he tugged you toward a group of his colleagues -- these appeared to be the ones you'd heard about most often, his closest friends, and as he introduced them, you couldn't help but play back the stories he'd told you in your head. You'd obviously met Hercules -- he was the one who introduced you to John in the first place -- and Alex had dropped by your apartment a number of times, so you'd slowly familiarized yourself with him. However, everyone else's names immediately triggered a word association. Eliza: catching the communal microwave on fire -- three times. Lafayette: getting half the staff drunk while working overtime. Maria: serving as the divorce lawyer for one of her co-workers' spouses. The list sure did go on.

They all seemed incredibly friendly, however, so you decided to make nice and not let your aversion to gilded capitalism ruin everyone's night. The things you did for your boyfriend. 

And so, you humored John. You met his boss. You stood by while they discussed corporate law, made esoteric jokes that you knew you couldn't begin to understand, and laughed when the group had obviously deemed it appropriate. You hardly left John's side; you didn't think you'd have made it through the night if he'd expected you to socialize independently. There were two things you thought you could honestly say in the night's favor -- John was absolutely beaming as he finally had the opportunity to show you off to his colleagues and friends, which wholly validated your reason for acquiescing to his invitation with little resistance, and the company had splurged on the wine and cheese for which you'd never have been willing to fork over such unholy amounts of cash.

You were careful not to drink too much, wanted to stay as far from the verge of tipsy as you could manage so as not to make a fool of yourself in front of the entire office, but you allowed yourself two glasses of the $600 merlot from the end of the refreshments table. Moreover, you shamelessly loaded up on cheese.

That was the only reason you ever had to steal away from John for a moment. It seemed that few of the employees were going to pillage the snacks, which made it feel all the more like your well-deserved karma for deciding to come, so John only laughed every time you told him you were going back to the cheese cart.

By the fourth time, you were on your second glass of wine, and you squinted at the various variations on smoked brie before deciding exactly how to pick your poison that time around.

"You new here?" A voice came from your right, startling you out of your dairy-induced haze. You turned with wide eyes to see a man standing beside you with a moderately amused smirk. "Because unless you're our transfer from Atlanta, I can't say I've heard about you -- and unlike Beatrice, you don't quite look 57."

You couldn't help your laugh at his playful tone. You gave him a once-over; he didn't fit the description of anyone John had told you about. "I can assure you, I'm not here to steal poor Beatrice's identity," you replied mildly. "I'm actually here as a guest, Mr..."

You trailed off an eyebrow raised. "Jefferson," he supplied, offering you his hand to shake, "Thomas Jefferson."

"Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you." You shook his hand, and something akin to recognition flashed across his face. Perhaps he'd heard about you from John? His crooked grin only grew with that as he drew closer to you.

"So you're here as a guest, hm?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. You nodded hesitantly. "Must not have had a very good host to bring you then, huh? Can't imagine leaving a pretty little thing like you unattended around here."

You raised your eyebrows at that. His sudden confidence was off-putting, and you shifted your weight from one foot to another as you gave him a slightly strained smile. The shift in his demeanor was beginning to make you mildly uncomfortable. "I assure you, I can take care of myself, Mr. Jefferson."

"I don't doubt that, sweetheart." His reply was mildly absentminded as his eyes trailed down your figure, and you took an unconscious step back. When you did, his eyes jumped back to yours as he flashed you a winning smile. "But please, it's Thomas, to you."

"Well, Thomas, it's been nice meeting you, but I think I need to get back to my date." You silently mourned your not having collected any new cheeses, but you were eager to end that interaction. He raised an eyebrow, grin groundlessly smug.

"You sure you wanna do that? I mean, if your date cared little enough to leave you out here all alone in this big office, I think you're justified in findin' other company." He moved imperceptibly closer, but it made all the difference to you. You swallowed. "Besides--"

"Y/N!" You whipped around, on cloud nine when you made eye contact with the source of the voice. You must have looked endlessly relieved, grateful for your savior, your white knight, your Messiah -- not to be dramatic -- but John just looked tense as he approached where you were standing. His smile was clearly forced, and Thomas raised an eyebrow. When he reached you, he wrapped an arm around your waist, tugging you further away from his coworker immediately. "Jefferson, I see you've met my girlfriend."

Thomas didn't miss the emphasis on the word 'girlfriend.' His eyebrows jumped toward his hairline, and he huffed out a disbelieving laugh. "Your girlfriend, huh?" He looked between the two of you, and the tension as he met John's gaze was palpable. He broke it after hardly a second, turning his focus back to you with an irritatingly pitying smile. "Oh, sweetheart, how much is he paying you? Surely, it can't be that much, considerin' how much less John makes--"

"I'm not in this for money, Mr. Jefferson," you said, careful to keep your tone level. Beside you, John's jaw ticked, the pads of his fingers pressing possessively into the side of your waist. 

Doubt still drenched his stare, and John cut in. "Not everything can be bought, Mr. Jefferson--" The utterance of his title was mocking, the words closer to a sneer, "and if you know what's good for you, you'll stop calling my girlfriend an escort. Watch it."

"Mmh, your loss, gettin' with him. You could be making some good money off of that." He let his gaze wander, never going above your neckline. It was painfully obvious that he was just playing it up to get a rise out of John, but nonetheless, it was working. You heard your boyfriend inhale harshly; his grip on you was getting closer to a vice. Thomas shot you a wink. "Gimme a call if you're ever interested in actually gettin' something out of a relationship, for once."

John scowled; you had to cling to his side to restrain him from tackling Thomas right there and then. His teeth were clenched, his gaze full of unbridled fury. "I swear to God--"

"Baby, c'mon, it's not worth it." Your quiet plea cut him off as you rested a hand on his chest. You could feel some of the tension leave his body. "You're fine. I'm fine. Let's just go, yeah?" He met your wide eyes, and your worried gaze had him forcing himself to cool off.

He shot Thomas one last burning glare before turning on his heel, promptly pulling you as far from his coworker as he could get you. You went with him readily.

He was quiet for the rest of the night. Despite your constant questioning stare and occasional attempts to check on him, voice hardly above a whisper, he just ignored it, waved you away. You didn't stay much longer after that, and the car ride back to your apartment was dead silent. John's knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

After you made it home, though, you tried one more time. He threw the keys into the bowl by the door after locking it, and immediately began to loosen his tie, eager to relax and forget about the night.

"John, are you okay?" Though the question was hesitant, your tone was firm, demanding. He reluctantly met your eyes, vexation still brewing near the surface of his gaze. "Talk to me, baby. What's up?"

"What the fuck was that stunt with Jefferson?" The question had your eyes widening.

"'Stunt'?" you repeated, hoping you'd misheard him. "Seriously? He approached me; I just wanted more cheese!"

"You didn't exactly seem to be pulling away," he accused, and you gave a short, mirthless laugh.

"You've gotta be kidding me, John." His expectant expression told you that he absolutely was not, and you scowled. "I didn't wanna cause a scene. I was trying to get away politely. I just... didn't want anything to escalate."

"Some excuse."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on, Y/N." His voice was louder that time, and it was tinged with genuine anger. He took a step toward you, looming over you as he began to close the space. "You've never cared about being impolite before; don't expect me to believe you're suddenly miss proper. You were just enjoying the attention."

"This was my first time around your colleagues! At your office!" you protested, standing your ground.

"You don't give two shits what corporate employees think about you!"

"But you do." The truth behind your words was what made him bite his tongue, not the urgency in your tone. Tentatively, you closed the small gap between you, reaching up to rest your hands on his shoulders. "John, I didn't wanna make a scene because I didn't wanna embarrass you. You were so excited to bring me there and have everyone come see me, and I knew how much tonight meant to you." He looked down at you with his eyebrows raised. Much of the tension in his shoulders had melted away at your touch; his eyes held no hostility as they met yours, and his hands ghosted across your hips. "I just wanted you to be happy, baby."

He wrapped an arm snugly around your waist, pulling you flush against him, and he brought his other hand up to smooth your hair back, away from your face. His frustration had been replaced by a tiny, playful smile. Slowly, he moved forward, and your eyes widened as you stumbled in his grasp; it only took him a moment to back you into the kitchen counter. "Fucking Jefferson has no idea what he's missing out on."

You smiled, pulling yourself up to him to rest your forehead against him, to look him in the eye. "And he never will."

-----------

You both woke up late the next morning, exhausted and disinterested in leaving your bed. You weren't surprised; you'd ended up having a late night. You groaned at the sunlight streaming through your window as your eyes fluttered open, trying to bury yourself in John's embrace. He breathed deeply as he held a hand to the small of your back, dipping down to kiss you as he stretched, stifling a yawn.

"Morning, baby," he hummed, fatigue sitting heavy in his voice. "How're you feeling?"

"Sore," you groaned, and he chuckled. You glared playfully up at him.

"You complaining?" he retorted, raising a teasing brow, and you didn't bother to hide your grin. 

"Never." You kissed the tip of his nose. "But John?"

"Mmhmm?" His forehead creased, and your smile only grew at how unnecessarily concerned he looked.

"As hot as it is seeing you jealous -- and it is, ridiculously hot, actually -- did you really have to give me so many hickeys?" The words came out as a whine, and he laughed as he eyed your pout.

"I dunno, babygirl," he began, rolling over so you were on your back and he was propped up on his arms above you. The wistful regret in his voice was dramatically phony. "If last night told me anything, it's that you can't seem to keep the men away, no matter where we go." He paused, shrugging. "Not that I blame them. Look at you."

He dipped down to kiss your neck with that, and you huffed. "John. Promise you've given me enough hickies. You can stop."

"I like seeing 'em," he said, smile growing as he looked proudly down at you. "Besides, if the world needs a reminder that you're mine, you had better bet that I'm not gonna hesitate to give it to them."

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Different Worlds (3)

Summary: You’re the youngest Winchester, a girl who needs to show her big brothers that she doesn’t need help. Then one day, on a totally normal vampire hunt that you had all under control, three meddling Avengers come barging in.

Warnings: language, violence, canon divergence, slow burn, me making stuff up

Word Count: 2011

A/N: This is basically how I’m going to update this series: like two a day and then a multiple month hiatus.

~*~

Chapter 3: Trouble On the Horizon

You sat in the booth, squished up to the wall because of a large, dark-haired supersoldier next to you. Across from you, the Falcon was happily eating his burger with Captain America next to him. You quickly sent a message to Sam and Dean telling them that you were fine and that you would meet them back at the bunker.

“Sooo…” you prompted the superheroes before you took a bite of your burger. 

“What happened back there?” the man next to you asked and turned his steel-blue eyes on to you.

You took your time before answering, chewing your food, swallowing, and then taking a sip of your drink. “That was Mr. Robert Walker.”

“Why’d he do those disappearing tricks?” the Falcon asked.

“‘Cause he’s dead.” The men raised their eyebrows simultaneously. “Robert Walker and his wife, Petra, died in like 1970 or something.”

“So he was a ghost?” Captain America clarified.

“Yep.” You popped the ‘p.’ “They, or their ghosts, were responsible for a couple of recent deaths ‘round here.”

“Why?”

“Spirits do things for different reasons.” You shrug. The three men were actually listening intently. “Some want revenge or just keep killing the way they killed people when they were alive.”

“You’ve done this before?”

“‘Course!” you snort. “‘S my job.”

“You’re a ghost hunter?”

“Sure.” You took a long sip of your drink.

“Why did you kill everyone at the bar? Pretty fucking sure they weren’t ghosts,” the Winter Soldier spat at you. His friends raised their eyebrows slightly in surprise at his tone.

“Yeah… that was a colony of vamps.”

“Vampires?” the Falcon asked with a smile and wide eyes.

“Yes, vampires!” You mimic his expression before dropping it quickly and resuming your so-called ‘resting bitch face.’ It was important to look intimidating in this line of work.

“Why did you have to cut off their heads?” Captain America sat back and crossed his arms.

“How else was I supposed to kill ‘em?”

“Did you have to kill them?”

Uhg. This is why. This is why the hunters stayed away from goodie two shoes, ass-kissing heroes. They always wanted to find a way to save people. Even if they were too far gone. Even if they were so blatantly monsters.

“Yes, I had to kill them. It’s. My. Job.”

“So there are ghosts and vampires,” the Falcon said to change the topic, “what else?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Your friendly mood had disappeared. Your back ached from where Mr. Walker threw you against the wall and you were tired. “I’m done here.”

“How’s your arm?” the blue-eyed man next to you asked, stopping your ‘escape attempt’ of climbing over the back of the seat.

“Whadya mean?”

“Last time, with the vampires, you injured your arm.”

Well, you didn’t expect this. Especially from the Winter Soldier. You could tell he wasn’t satisfied with your answers, or lack of them, but at the same time, he was actually asking about your injury.

“‘S all healed.” You pulled down your shirt from the collar to show them. Cas had been useful and fixed you up. No ugly puncture wounds today.

“How?” You looked at the man for more explanation. “How did you heal so fast. It was only a week ago.”

“Mag-my friend is really good at patching people up.” There was a beat of silence. “Can I go home now?”

“We’ll take you home.”

“Thank you, Mister America.”

“Call me Steve.” You narrowed your eyes at the patriotic man. “My name is Steve Rogers. We know all about you, might as well tell you about us.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” you mumbled as the Falcon introduced himself as Sam. “My brother’s name is Sam.” They probably already knew that.

“We know.”

“I’m James Barnes,” the Winter Soldier less enthusiastically than his teammates who gave him a sharp look. “But my friends call me Bucky.”

You snorted. “Bucky? What kinda name’s ‘Bucky?’”

“It’s from his middle name, Buchanan,” Steve explained while Bucky glared at you.

“Well then, Bucky. You were going to take me home?”

You had the superheroes drop you off in St. Louis, Missouri. You had a motorcycle in a storage cell in the city. Your brothers didn’t need you bringing some superheroes to the front door. Who knew if they were going to continue to show up?

You loitered around the city for a while after they left, just in case they were still watching you. You’ve never gotten the opportunity to explore St. Louis before due to, you know, being wanted by the FBI. Today, you still kept your head low.

About an hour after the superheroes left you, you made your way to the storage compound with a Starbucks drink in your hand. You smiled when your black, retro motorcycle caught your eye. It had been a while since you last rode. You dusted off your helmet, because it would be a sad ending for a hunter to go out because of a simple road accident, before swinging your leg over the vehicle. Time to go home.

~*~

Bucky sat in the quinjet, this time with the rest of the team. A Hydra base they had just recently raided had shown signs of activity. Somehow, he couldn’t get his mind to focus on the current mission. Didn’t he not want to go on that little case a week ago? Now he couldn’t get (Y/N) off his mind.

No, she wasn’t stuck in his head because he thought she was pretty. Or very capable of taking care of herself. Even though she did look very nice with her shotgun. No. (Y/N) was only occupying his mind because there was a mystery surrounding her and Bucky had to get to the bottom of it.

Obviously by talking to (Y/N) more. That wasn’t a bad thing. Good thing Sam couldn’t read his thoughts.

Bucky peeked at Wanda sitting a few seats away. She had her earphones in, no doubt to block out everyone’s thoughts. She mentioned before that everyone was loud before missions but music helped.

He still had the niggling worry that (Y/N) and her brothers had something to do with Hydra. Or Hydra had something to do with them. Did Hydra know about ghosts and vampires? Bucky knew how many experiments they performed on people. He’s pretty sure that they tried to make vampires once. That didn’t end well with anyone.

The rough landing of the quinjet and Clint’s incessant apologies from the cockpit pulled Bucky out of his thoughts. They left the plane in sets of three: him, Steve, and Sam (of fucking course); Natasha, Clint, and Wanda; Tony, Rhodey, and Vision.

Tony’s team tackled the outside forces as Nat’s team took the north entrance. Bucky’s team made it into the south entrance with ease. They faced very little opposition as they made their way down the halls of the facility. Bucky hoped and assumed that it was because Hydra didn’t have the manpower.

“Guys, look at this,” Sam called down the hallway from a random room.

Steve and Bucky followed Sam into the room. It was dimly lit and empty save for a couple of cans of red paint in the corner and a large book on a stand in the middle of the floor. Sam had opened the book and was flipping through the yellowed pages.

“What’s this?” Bucky walked up to him and the book while Steve kept an eye out on the hallway.

“I dunno. Can’t read it.” When Sam flipped through, Bucky noticed strange symbols decorating the pages. “Woah,” Sam exclaimed when he landed on a certain page. “Didn’t know Hydra did this kinda stuff.”

The page displayed a large red pentagram along with instructions in what Bucky assumed was Latin. Even though he couldn’t read the words, the star spoke enough. A chill went down his spine and his mind instantly went to (Y/N). Was this part of her world?

“Let’s take it,” Bucky suggested. “Don’t want to leave it with them.”

“What’s all this?” Nat interrupted.

“What are you doing here?” Sam spun around quickly.

“The building’s clear. I was doing our job while you were having a book club.”

“Apparently Hydra’s into some weird shit.” Bucky motioned to the pentagram on display.

“Fuck,” Natasha mumbled as her eyes searched the pages. “Looks like Hydra was planning some Satanic ritual.” Her words echoed through the comms.

“You can read Latin?” Sam asked.

“Let’s just get out of here,” Bucky grumbled, grabbed the large book, and marched out of the room.

~*~

“We have a problem,” Cas announced, suddenly appearing and startling everyone in the previously quiet room.

“Hello to you too, Cas,” Dean smirked.

“Hi, Cas!” Jack beamed at one of his many father figures.

“What is it?” Sam rationally asked. You closed the book you weren’t really reading and took your feet off the table to sit up and look more attentive.

“Lucifer is trying to take heaven.”

“Again?” You fiddled with your new ring.

You had found it on the ground in one of the storage rooms in the bunker. Jack didn’t find anything malevolent on it, but he said that it could store energy and magic. At your request, he had filled it with healing magic. You really didn’t want to die. Again.

“Yes, again,” Cas answered. You paused for a second before remembering your question before losing your train of thought. 

“This isn’t really a problem anymore,” Dean pointed out. “Just a monthly chore.”

“Weekly, actually,” Cas corrected. “He would try to break out every Saturday, but he had ceased his attempts for the last five weeks.”

Lucifer was being held in Heaven, or you supposed he used to be held there considering he was now trying to gain control. The angels decided to lock him in Heaven because it was easier than trying to shove him back into the cage. It also kept him away from his demonic minions.

“He broke out and now is gathering forces to take Heaven?” Dean guessed.

“Sounds like my father,” said Jack under his breath and you gave him a small, sympathetic rub on the back.

“Yes,” continued Cas. “He’s already recruited some witches to find a book of spells. He’s looking for the Magicae Libro.”

“The… Magic Book?” you laughed. “Creative.”

“They didn’t need to be creative when it was the only one.”

“Right, sorry. So what is the Magicae Libro, other than a magic book?”

“It was the first spellbook. Written by some of the first witches, directly advised by Lucifer. Because of the power basically woven into the pages, the spells and rituals cast using the book are more powerful.”

“That’s a thing?” Sam ran his hand through his hair.

“We gotta get to it before the witches bring it to Lucifer, then,” Dean spoke over his brother.

“Any idea where we start?” Jack asked plainly.

“Maybe ask our own witch to get it for us,” you suggested. “Rowena’s always in it for the power and she would want the Magicae Libro for herself.”

“Rowena is unpredictable,” Cas argued.

“She’s gotten better, though.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” Dean butted in. “She’d kill a bunch of people just out of spite.”

“We can let her take the book once Lucifer is under control once again.”

“We promised her powerful books before.” Cas wasn’t giving it to her.

“And the deals worked. We’re all still alive. The same deal can work again.”

“I am not giving the Magicae Libro to Rowena!”

“Then you and Jack go looking for it.”

“Jack is going nowhere,” Cas growled. “His father will be looking for him. We don’t want Lucifer to find the book and Jack in the same place.”

“Then we ask Rowena for help.”

“No.”

“I can do it,” Jack agreed.

“No!” All three men yelled at the boy.

“Jack or Rowena.” You held out your hands and moved them up and down like a scale. “Jack or Rowena. Pick one.”

“Fine.” Cas glared at the table. “Call Rowena.”

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

Tag List (strike though means tag didn’t work):

@grav3dollie-666

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Them Meeting Your Family for the first Time (Holiday!Au)

Summary: Reader is from America and brings her boyfriend home to have them join in on her annual family holiday.

Warnings: fluff, jealous reader (on two of the boys), proposal!!, mentions of politics in Yoongi’s, just a lot of fluff and happiness.

W.C.: 3k

Notes: I am done with 3 out of 5 finals and I am so excited to start break on Thursday. So, get ready for more writing and updates once finals are over!

Jin:

“I’m nervous,” Jin admitted as you were driving down the freeway to your house.

You laughed, “why?”

“Because I am meeting the love of my life’s family for the first time since we started dating two years ago, AND,” he emphasized on the ‘and,’ making a dramatic pause for effects, “the pictures of your dad you had showed me makes me scared of him.”

It was quiet for a moment before you busted out laughing, “you’re scared of my dad? You have never met him!” You continued to laugh, ignoring Jin’s glares.

“Yes, yes I am.” He sounded offended, “he looks very intimidating and I am intimidated easily.”

“Jin, trust me, my family, especially my dad, will love you.” You smiled at him reassuringly.

---

Two hours later, you watched in happiness as your boyfriend and your father were getting along with one another. You knew that Jin was extremely nervous to meet your family, especially your father, but you knew the whole time that they would love him. It made your heart swell with happiness knowing that your future (hopefully) husband would get along with your family. You smiled brightly at Jin as he walked over towards you with a satisfied grin on his handsome face.

“See, I told you that you had nothing to worry about,” you teased, leaning up to peck him on the cheek.

“I know, I just wanted to make a good first impression.” He said with a sigh, a happy look on his face, “plus, I was nervous to ask your father something.” Butterflies filled your stomach at the admission, having an idea on what he was about to say. As Jin got down on one knee, a hopeful look on his face as he pulled out the tiny black box from his hoodie pocket. “Y/N, will you make me the happiest man on this planet by marrying me?”

You could hear your mom start sobbing, causing you to turn around with a ‘really’ look. “I’m sorry,” she a apologized, using your dads shirt to wipe away her tears, “I’ll shut up now.”

“Thank you,” you blandly said, making your mother laugh. Turning back around to a hopeful Jin, tears began making their way to your eyes, “Yes, yes I will.” And at your answer, Jin shot up and brought you into a huge hug, avoiding kissing you in front of your dad.

“I love you, Mrs. Worldwide Beautiful.” He promised, kissing your temple.

“I love you, too, Mr. Worldwide Handsome.”

Yoongi:

Coming from a conservative, back-woods hill billy family, the Fourth of July has always been a huge holiday that your family celebrated. Even though were from a family of conservatives, you developed your own views and opinions on things that did not match your family’s views. Of course, the created controversy for a little bit, especially with your father, your family (thankfully) accepted your own way of thinking and thoughts on things.

So, that is why you are nervous to introduce your boyfriend, Min Yoongi, someone who will say how he feels and is not afraid to make his opinion clear on certain topics, to your family – especially to your dad. But the thing is, the meeting between your boyfriend and dad went smoothly; better than you thought. The person that you should have been worried about was your little cousin, Lucas.

When you got to your house and greeted everyone, you were tackled into a hug by your baby cousin Lucas. As he was explaining his new toy that he bought and how he got a Patrick Mahomes shirt as a birthday present from his parents, he turned silent when he saw a man take his position by your side.

“Y/N, who is this?” He asked in a protective tone, standing straighter with shoulders back.

A grin made its way onto your face. Even as an 11 year-old boy, he still is very protective of you. “Lucas, this is my boyfriend, Min Yoongi.” You glanced over at your boyfriend, biting back a smile at his reaction to your cousin.

“Hi, Lucas. Y/N has always talked about you in South Korea, always excited to tell me about you.” Your boyfriend explained, telling the truth about how you always talked about your baby cousin.

“Hmm,” Lucas replied, trying to not show how happy he was to hear that you missed him as much as he missed his role model, you. “Well, be nice to Y/N, because if you don’t I will find you, and I will make sure that you wake up to…” he trailed off with a teasing smile, joking about what he was saying, besides the being nice part to you.

Yoongi did not look scared at that, actually, he looked in awe at how much Lucas cares about you, and in fact, a smidge jealous. But he could not deny the love that both you and your cousin shared for one another. He knew that you always looked out for Lucas, how you helped raised him too. He also knew how much it tore you apart when you had to move to South Korea for school, but the bond that both you and Lucas have is unbreakable. And Yoongi admires that because of the age difference.

So, Yoongi wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his side, “I promise that I will not hurt Y/N.” Yoongi promised from the bottom of his heart.

Lucas smiled up at him, fixing his hat to make better eye contact with the black haired man, “Good. Want to play catch with me and my cousin Braxton? I have an extra glove!”

Hoseok:

To say that you were not even afraid to have your family meet your boyfriend, Jung Hoseok, was true. Why? Because how could you not be when Jung Hoseok was a ray of sunshine and nobody could ever hate him. On the way to your family’s house, your boyfriend could not sit still from excitement.

He was even more excited to see your family than you were and that is your family that you are talking about. You even felt a little sad to say that, but it is true. But, you could not deny how happy you are to see that your boyfriend – the first boy to ever meet your family – is excited to meet the ones that mean most to you.

So, seeing your boyfriend holding a cold beer in his hand, looking at home and comfortable as he talked with your dad and uncles, standing by the grill as your dad flipped the hamburgers, created a weird feeling in your stomach. Something that made you think that maybe, Hoseok might be your forever. You have never felt this way before, even with your older boyfriends. Hoseok is the first person to meet your family and that says a lot yourself.

“Whatcha thinking?” Your aunt Linda asked you as she took a seat beside you out of nowhere. “you’re thinking if he’s the one, aren’t you?” She asked again, pushing you to answer.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” You answered, a small smile on your face.

“Out of all of the boys you have dated, which have been three, you have never been this in love before. I know it because you never talked with so much passion about them that you have with Hoseok. I have never seen you so happy before, sweetie. I also can see how much he loves you too, by the way he looks at you.” She said, a happy smile on her face.

“How does he look at me?” You asked curiously.

“As if you are the one who made the world. He worships the ground that you walk on as you lead him to the family to introduce him. You both are so in sync with one another, and you both have been here for about two hours. He is the one, sweetie. I know it.”

And as she said those four words, Hoseok turned to look at you, as if he heard those words and smiled at you.

Namjoon:

You huffed in irritation while you watched your cousin Ashley try and flirt with your boyfriend. Okay, you could not blame her because your boyfriend is indeed very attractive. With that, his personality and knowledge makes him even more attractive, so it is hard not to fall or be attracted to Kim Namjoon. What is making you irritated is that she does not care that she is flirting with your boyfriend. She knows that Namjoon is your boyfriend and is still flirting with him very obviously. Your whole life, she has always stolen your chance with someone and always made it her mission to take what is yours. You always have fought back, always stood up to her, but nothing ever works. All of your boyfriends, which have been three, Namjoon being your fourth, she always somehow took them from you. Of course, it was also the guys decision to leave you, but you never understood why she has done that to you. So, when you found Namjoon, you knew that he was the one. That is why you were terrified to introduce him to your family because you knew that Ashley was going to do this.

You could see that Namjoon was slightly uncomfortable by Ashley’s intentions, so seeing him politely deny her, giving her a kind (and uncomfortable) smile before leaving, you could not help but smirk in victory. The look on Ashley’s face at the rejection and the pissed off reaction filled your ego. When Namjoon got to you, you leaned up and kissed him on the lips, showing what is yours, you heard the scoff from Ashley, causing you to smile into the kiss.

“What was the for?” Namjoon chuckled when he pulled away, caressing your check and fixing the Santa hat on your head.

“Just wanted to make a point, plus wanted to show how much I love you.” You shrugged, leaning into his side to watch your mom and aunt take shots of eggnog together.

Catching on, Namjoon leant down to kiss your temple and pull you in closer to his side, “Just know that I love you and no one can change that.”

Jimin:

Why is your boyfriend so perfect?

This has been the questioned that you have been asking yourself all day. Even though you just introduced your boyfriend to your family, today, he has been taken from you by your mom and aunt. Jimin does not seem bothered by this because he wanted to be perfect for your family, something that you always smacked him on the head for because he is, indeed perfect, but you had to remind him to be his self, and not someone that he is not. You did not mind that Jimin was hanging out with your family, you just wanted his affection too.

The reason why you and Jimin work so well with each other is because you both love affection, and being away from one another can be a huge struggle. And you just want Jimin and his hugs.

“Babe!” Jimin called from you from the dining room table, “Come play scrabble with us!” He motioned towards your mom, aunt, and cousins.

Walking over there, you went to pull a chair up next to Jimin since you both were a team, but before you could do so, you were tugged on to your boyfriends lap. Blushing, you ignored the raised eyebrow from your mom.

“Oh!” Jimin gasped in embarrassment, “I’m so sorry. It is just a habit to have Y/N sitting on my lap when we play board games with our friends back in Korea.” He apologized, a huge blush by his actions.

“It’s okay, dear!” Your mother reassured, smirking at how embarrassed you two were, “my husband always liked me sitting on his lap.”

For the rest of the night, both you and Jimin could not look at your mother in the eye.

Taehyung:

You are ridiculous,

You are jealous of a child. You are jealous of your baby cousin Mya because she is getting all of the attention from your boyfriend. Okay, it is a good thing that your family likes Taehyung, well, loves, and that he seems to be very comfortable around your family, something is very important. But Taehyung has not spoken to you for four hours because Mya has had him playing with her. It is no secrete that Taehyung loves children, but come on! You are needy and love being Taehyung’s center of attention.

You have to admit, you see Taehyung all of the time and have his attention, but who could blame you? Being Taehyung’s center of attention is amazing. You are truly spoiled.

“Why the long face, cousin?” Zach, your oldest cousin on your dad’s side asked, scaring you from his unexpected presence. Noticing where your gaze was on, he chuckled. “You and Amanda are so alike, I swear,” he chuckled, shaking his head as he took a sip from his beer.

“What do you mean?” You replied curiously, looking up at him.

“You both love attention, and whenever you don’t have it, you both turn pouty,” He ruffled your hair in a teasing manner. “But don’t worry, Taehyung, is that how you pronounce it? Yes, cool. Anyways, he always glances to see where you are and makes sure that you aren’t far away. He hasn’t totally forgotten about you.”

“He does?” Insecurity evident in your voice, something Zach knew would be in your tone. He knows about the past assholes, so seeing you with someone who truly does love you makes you happy.

“Of course, Y/N, I wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true. I know when a guy loves someone, and Taehyung loves you. It is hard to miss from how passionate he talked about you to your father in front of my dad and I, and your uncle John. Taehyung loves you.”

A huge smile made its way onto your face at his words, your heart pounding and butterflies in your stomach. “I love him,” you confessed to Zach.

“Oh, I know. Your Instagram is filled with pictures of you two, more than Amanda’s. Wait, Amanda only has two pictures of us while I have ten! I’ll be back in a little. AMANDA!” Zach yelled for his fiancé.

Jungkook:

Jungkook thought that your dad was the only main concerned that he had to worry about but turns out that he was wrong. The person that he had to worry about was your aunt Sandy. Finding himself sitting in a lawn chair, underneath a tree for shade from the July sun, he was facing more questions than he has in one interview.

“So, tell me about yourself,” your Aunt Sandy asked, “What’s your favorite hobby? Have you gone to school? What’s it like to be a famous person? What is your intention with my niece?”

The desperate look that Jungkook threw you had you cackling. Being questioned by your Aunt Sandy can be scary sometimes, and Jungkook is now facing that.

“I don’t know much about South Korea, but do you guys celebrate something close to the Fourth of July? Have you ever lit a firework before?”

“I love photography, so that is how Y/N and I met. Yes, I have gone to school and still in school. It is very pressuring and is nothing like people think it is, Korea is very pressuring and strict for idols. Y/N and I will be coming up to our one-year anniversary and I plan on having more with her. And we have a lot of public holiday’s and ceremonies. We do have Memorial Day where we celebrate on June 6th for the men and women who died while in military service or in the independence movement, there is a ceremony held for this at the Seoul National Cemetery.”

After Jungkook’s answers, your Aunt Sandy was hooked and wanted to learn more about South Korea and their holiday’s, and their culture. Some of your family followed, also intrigued to know more about Korea, and wanting to learn more. Jungkook loved this, very excited to talk about his home and even about his Hyung’s. You could see the happiness and excitement on his face, even in his voice.

When it turned darker, your little cousins and your uncles went to get the fireworks ready. Jungkook grabbed his chair and a loose blanket for you two, he took them to where everyone was situating their selves to get ready to see the finale of fireworks. Placing his chair to the side, wanting to get a little space from your family, along with wanting to have you to himself, he pulled you onto his lap, helping you get comfortable.

“Your Aunt Sandy made me nervous, but I like her though,” he admitted, face perched up on your shoulder.

“Yeah, she has a specialty in that.” You chuckled, “You seem very comfortable with the family, which makes me happy.”

“I love your family, plus, I know that I want to have a future with you, so of course I am going to make it my mission to get along with your family.”

“You want a future?” You asked shocked, surprising Jungkook.

“Of course, jagi. You may be my first girlfriend and we have only been together for almost one year, but I know that I want you in my life, for as long as possible. I hope you feel the same.”

Not knowing what to say, you sat up, turned around to face your boyfriend, grabbed his face and smashed your lips onto his. Jungkook was shocked at first, but soon kissed you back, pouring his emotions into the kiss. He took this as a yes, and he never felt so happy in his life. The both of you knew that this was as close to an ‘I love you,’ only wanting to wait for that for when the time is right.

The both of you missed the sound of your mom’s camera snapping and awe’s filling the air. What mattered was only you and Jungkook, and they gave you privacy after that, not saying anything to you both, wanting yo

[manuscripts-dontburn]

The Doll Factory

Author: Elizabeth Macneal

First published: 2019

Pages: 336

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

I felt that this book, while perhaps not exceptional, was very well put together. It was paced just right and the sense of growing dread escalates in a way which kept me glued to the page. Truly well written historical fiction.

Heaven and Hell: A History of the Afterlife

Author: Bart D. Ehrman

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

I am rather conflicted about this book. Firstly, as a Christian bordering on agnosticism (I have never been a part of any church and my family is completely atheistic), I felt both somehow comforted by Ehrman´s deductions and somewhat resentful at the same time. Not because he very convincingly talks about the changing of religious perspectives (I am a historian myself so that information was only natural), but because he is clearly working with the notion of non-existence of God, not really treating it as a possibility. That, however, is my own personal issue. Objectively speaking, this is a very good book. Though academic in tone, it reads quite easily and is obviously well researched. The title, however, is misleading. Like many others, I had expected this to be a study of VARIOUS theories of afterlives, but 80% of the book is focused on early Christianity only. Not that isn´t fascinating, but for people hoping to learn something about other religions and cultures and their post-mortem ideas, it can only represent a big disappointment. So - know what you are getting, have an open mind and you might find this book a worthy addition to your personal library.

Wuthering Heights The Graphic Novel

Author: Emily Brontë, John M. Burns

First published: 2011

Pages: 160

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

I don´t think there is much to review. I love the original book. I enjoyed its re-imagining here.

The Vanishing

Author: Sophia Tobin

First published: 2017

Pages: 390

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

This was sort of OK I guess??? The beginning was promising, but I lost interest in the latter half, which also became somewhat convoluted. Not very memorable, though Sophia Tobin´s writing style is fine. I would not mind trying another book by her in the future.

The Mercies

Author: Kiran Millwood Hargrave

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 7 days

Stunningly-written and deeply moving, this book has really only one weakness. It somewhat drags in the middle. But the atmosphere is alive and palpable and the emotions pure and real. There are many other books dealing with the topic of witch-trials, but few manage to be as powerful as well as respectfully restrained. Hargrave as an author knows how to keep the balance and her book beautiful.

The Wizard of Oz and Other Wonderful Books of Oz: The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz

Author: Frank L. Baum

First published: 1900, 1910, 1920

Pages: 432

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 5 days

This book is not commonly known in my country and so I have only read it for the first time now when I am over thirty. It definitely has its charm, especially the first volume, which holds some beautiful truths one wishes to teach the children (or adults). The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz are both mostly just a flight of fancy with no actual conflict. In fact, the danger to any of the characters is so nonexistent it begs the question of "why should I care". Not bad, but perhaps I would have loved it more if I was 5, not 33. Mea culpa.

Vasilisa the Wise and Other Tales of Brave Young Women

Author: Kate Forsyth

First published: 2017

Pages: 103

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Very sweet retelling of several classic fairytales in which the girl saves herself (even if she needs some help by others, and the others are never the prince).

S.

Author: J.J. Abrams, Doug Dorst

First published: 2013

Pages: 456

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 19 days

This book felt like an acid trip with Umberto Eco or something in a similar vein to me. I was rather terrified that the whole thing would be completely dependant on the unusual format, but to my delight, the format merely enhances and enriches the actual novel, which in itself is dark, confusing, moving, terrifying, philosophical and weirdly fascinating. I am sure a lot has escaped my attention or flew over my head, but I welcome it because it gives me more reason to return to the book in the future. It was not all flawless though. My biggest gripe, as an actual Czech person, is that even though so much effort and thought went into the creation of this book, the author decided that Google translate will do just fine - and no surprise - it did not. There are not many instances of the Czech language being used, but when it is... it is all wrong. The Czech language is quite difficult and complex and Google translate does not know how to deal with it most of the time. Just one example: In the book, Eric writes OPICE TANCE on the wall and says it is Czech for "MONKEY DANCES". Yeah. Yeah, it is. IF THE WORD "DANCES" IS TAKEN AS A NOUN IN PLURAL. The correct translation would be "OPICE TANČÍ" and trust me it IS a big big difference. (Do not get me started on the vintage newspaper article....) You definitely need a lot of brainpower and focus when reading, this is not an easy book to follow. You also need to accept that not all questions are answered. I am glad I read it though. I found it an interesting experience.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

First published: 1954

Pages: 407

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

What can I say? Yet again I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. Few, very few books have the power of this one.

Mexican Gothic

Author: Silvia Moreno-Garcia

First published: 2020

Pages: 301

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 12 days

I don´t have much to say but I was a bit bored at the beginning, but it turned out to be a pretty wild ride.

Aristokratka u královského dvora

Author: Evžen Boček

First published: 2020

Pages: 184

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Miluji celou tuto sérii, bohužel tento díl mi, ač stále zábavný, přišel prozatím nejslabší... Měla jsem pocit, že první polovina knihy opustila můj oblíbený, laskavý humor teenagerky, která se musí potýkat s výstřední rodinou a situací, a sklouzává spíše trochu k upřímné krutosti... Doufám, že další pokračování se vrátí ke své laskavosti.

The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family and Defiance During the Blitz

Author: Erik Larson

First published: 2020

Pages: 608

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

An excellent and above all readable account of a chapter in the WW2 history. Larson explains well why Churchill was the best man for that dark hour and why he is still viewed as a hero in Europe (his questionable and even abhorrent views and actions in the context of the British Empire and people of other races notwithstanding), as the person who stood up to Hitler and pretty much kept the fires of defiance burning. There is definitely not enough "family" in this "family saga", but given the sheer amount of material and information presented to the reader, I suppose the author struck an acceptable balance between the politics and the private matters.

Conjure Women

Author: Afia Atakora

First published: 2020

Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 8 days

The beginning of this book seemed tiring, and at risk of sounding insensitive, not interesting, since it seemed to tackle the same things that have already been tackled. But then there appeared strands of stories and of secrets, and suddenly I just needed to know everything. The whole story then appears as an artful mosaic. The last chapter felt unnecessary though and I did not understand its meaning if it was supposed to have any.

[sneakerdoodle]

On Second Citadel and unity

It was interesting to me that, after making Junoverse a very poignant gender utopia (and general lgbt-utopia, too), Kabert went ahead and made their second storyline so heavily centered around bigotry and discrimination (dealing with topics of ableism, mysogyny, homophobia). now, obviosuly, Junoverse is not even remotely free of inequality, and as far as the mentioned topics are handled this utopia is not disability-friendly, with prosthetics not being readily available with no charge, which, like many other things, strips people of their autonomy, turns them into a rich man’s plaything. But here inequality is arguably explored from the point of exploitation of one human being by another, of abuse of power (interpersonal and social-scale). Whereas Second Citadel opens with an episode about two knights - a disabled one and a woman one - both of whom struggled for similar reasons, so there is supposedly little power imbalance here. And yet they do not see eye to eye, even more so, one of them furthers the other’s discrimination. We can speculate that that’s Sir Caroline’s effort to fit in - strengthen the sense of her hard-earned belonging by othering someone who never got that right to belong. Which doesn’t make it any less infuriating and damaging, but sets the tone of the story very well. There is no strong thriving off the weak. There are just people infinitely rejecting one another on the basis of their differences, often under the weight of their own rejection.

The topic of ostracization and discrimination is tackled in almost every arc of SC, but the idea of othering extends beyond it. The central conflict, the ongoing war is between monsters and humans - and while we’re more familiar with the human side of it, while we may learn more about the history of their conflict and who wronged whom first and worst, for now we’ve seen both humans and monsters express deep disgust for each other and one another’s way of living. And then the same happens on a smaller scale, within one species: we see the mutual disdain between Northerners and Southerners. Sir Caroline is different not only as a woman but as a foreigner; the Cinderclasp episode made it far too clear that the attitude to foreigners in the South is no better. 

And all of that unravels against the backdrop of pretty phrases about unity that get repeated over and over. “Strength in Unity”. “Two in unity, simple, strong”. I believe those are not instruments of irony, however, but keys to the central message, echoes of this societies’ past and - hopefully - foreshadowing of their future.

Sir Caroline twists the meaning of that unity in order to keep her authority:

ANGELO: Sir Caroline, I really don't think-- CAROLINE: What is the primary edict of our Citadel, Sir Angelo? ANGELO: Strength in unity. Of course. CAROLINE: And the sooner you all remember that, the safer humanity will be in these Northern Wilds. Hypocrites. The lot of you. Unified only when it’s convenient. No better than monsters in that way: greed governs all, and everyone just does what they want to get what they want. If you just listened to authority, real authority, you might actually be safe.

And that happens to highlight what unity is not: giving up one’s autonomy and approach and unique competence to fit into someone else’s model of desired reality. 

Here Damien’s words about perspectives come into play. However labored and uncomfortable they were, showing his inability to not fixate on what separates others from him, they are important as a piece of the meta puzzle: they make us think of inherent value of different experiences.

DAMIEN: My kind, kind friend. I agree that it is a shame that we cannot trust these men. They would be valuable allies, as Sir Caroline was – for moving through the world as she has, in a life quite different from ours, has clearly gifted her with ways of thinking that you and I would never come to. ANGELO: Very true, very true. DAMIEN: And so I am certain that given Marc’s...situation, he too must have a perspective of great value in our mission. But the simple fact is that he cannot be trusted.

The importance of these lines is backed up in Lady of the Lake, when Caroline is instructed to use specific characteristics of her subordinates and turn them into strength that would aid the mission. We are told over and over that true unity is in embracing our differences, valuing them and working together to make these differences work in everyone’s favour. 

There is something to be said about quite careless exploitation of Damien’s neurodivergency of course, but that is once again the warped verison of true unity, showing what unity is not, but also simultaneously giving us some idea of its potential. At the core, behind Sir Caroline’s personal errors, the message is kinder, broader. We are told again and again that the importance of the unqiue approach, unique way of thought, unique operation of our minds can enrich our shared experience and cooperation beyond measure.

So when later on Sir Caroline instead tries to suffocate any challenge to her authority, any alternative point of view, it comes as the biggest whiplash.

And of course, when discussing the monster-human antagonism in this vein, the Moonlit Hermit arc gives some truly invaluable material. Rilla and Arum’s interactions are strongly based on the differences of their approach to the world, with Rilla’s being a rational one and Arum operating on what can be called intuition, spiritual sense and probably instinct. He despises attempts to rationalize the free broad flow of the universal energy.

And what we see is two of them coming together, sharing their views of the world and finding something useful, fascinating, beautiful in the point of view that seemed so unthinkable before. That culminates in the truly breathtaking scene of their discussion of the nature of music, whether it’s magic or math:

RILLA: I mean..why can’t it be both? ARUM: Nonsense. RILLA: No, I mean...maybe that’s what makes music special. It uses these predictable scales and measures and combines them with some unpredictable, something-- ARUM: Magic. And what comes out isn’t really either. It’s...more.

“It’s more”. Can’t overstate how hard this hits. And the parallel between this theory and Rilla and Arum’s relationship is more than on the nose, proving to us once again that the idea of unifying our different experiences and perspectives as something incredibly valuable, something that creates something new, rich, priceless, that is more than just a sum of the two, is central to the narrative.

What is interesting to me in the Moonlit Hermit arc is the distinction that is made between the monsters and the humans. Humans are supposedly rational while monsters speak of magic and the Universe - what a fun narrative is that! Monstrous spirituality... And then later on we have Damien raging at his saint, yelling “It is only monsters who listen to their heart above all!” - but apparently it is not. 

The new season offered some helpful context to that, specifically - the Thought Stream. Obviously referencing the Tarot, it has four suites resembling the Minor Arcana while what can be called the Major Arcana is not a part of the deck usually but something that appears unpredictably (specifically: Olala’s card that does not belong to the Wilds, Wastes, Frosts or Mirrors suit). 

The four Tarot suits (Swords, Cups, Wands and Pentacles) represent different areas of our life, separated: Intellect, Emotion, Spirituality/Creativity and the Material. Mind, Heart, Spirit and Body.

The four suits also correspond with the four elements. And Water is the one corresponding with Heart, with our emotions. I do not think it to be a coincidence that Saint Damien - the one encouraging his follower to listen to his heart, teaching him tranquility i.e. not losing oneself in the stream of emotion, the one teaching how to let one’s heart guide not stir - has water and the waves as his symbol.

So if Damien is Heart, Rilla is definitely Mind: she is analytical, a determined problem solver. I believe Arum represents the Wands: the Spirit and the fire - and that it is a symbol connected to monsters’ society in general. 

Wands suit deals with passionate creation, with realizing one’s vision, bringing something into the world. That seems in line with the monstrous philosophy in general. They talk of one’s place decided by the Universe, they say one is justified in their actions as long as they truly do what they want, follow where their passion guides them. There is quite a bit of hypocrisy there as we can see in the Spiral Sage arc, the monster society may just be keeping the platitudes while giving in to the power of the strongest no matter the Universe’s place for the weak - but the ideal is still there, and it is one Arum seems to follow wholeheartedly. (Hence his interpretation of Damien seemingly abandoning his path as a lack of character.)

The same idea - one’s place in the Universe - is brought up again in the first part of “The Fool in the Garden of Death”, showing this belief spreads beyond monsters’ society, into the Western Wastes. None of the elements, be it Heart or Spirit, are strictly one species’; however, we’re dealing with different cultures and ways of life people are most accustomed to, prioritizing different aspects of life. And we’re being shown that maybe engaging with each other is what those cultures are supposed to do.

The Thought Stream’s deck is made up of four suits corresponding with four ends of the world, four parts of it. Where in Tarot we have aspects in Thought Stream we have places. This reinforces the concept of different aspects of life, different ways of approaching it, corresponding with specific societies. 

Each of the suits is given an identity, but all of them make up one deck.

After all, what’s one aspect of a being without all the rest? Reign of just one’s Mind, Heart, Spirit or Body - how long can it last before turning destructive?

True strength is in balance of different elements - in unity that recognizes the value of each of them.

I have a theory that the ideals of the Second Citadel are the forgotten and revamped mottos of the beings of Fort Terminus: “two in unity” being not two partners but two worlds, monster and human, coming together to create something that is more, something new and powerful and full of potential. Capable of building something as impressive as the Bridge. I also have a theory that the Bridge is a parallel to the Tower of Babel. Which brings us to the idea of a divided world unable to see past the differences between societies, and through that losing the power that unity used to give it.

Showing the world where difference is shunned and leads to ostracism, where people that come from different places fail to acknowledge each other’s humanity and refuse to embrace their differences, where two species fail to accept the other’s way of living and deny the enemy their humanity/monstrosity, the Second Citadel storyline is offering a greater value as an endgoal: embracing difference and diversity, seeing strength in what sets us apart from each other, and recognizing that we all complete one another, like the four aspects of our own being, like four pillars upon which the sky rests. Deny one single pillar’s importance and wait for it to come crashing down on you. It says: to know true strength, we should welcome any and all experience, all of the unique perspectives, celebrate the differences that make our shared existence so much richer and make us so much more capable to deal with challenges of life. Strength in unity - not in uniformity.

[agentnico]

The King of Staten Island (2020) Review

It was either Disney’s new Artemis Fowl or a movie I didn’t know anything about... The decision was obvious!

Plot: Scott has been a case of arrested development since his firefighter dad died. He spends his days smoking weed and dreaming of being a tattoo artist until events force him to grapple with his grief and take his first steps forward in life.

Judd Apatow is a fairly familiar face in the realm of American comedy. He’s directed and produced the likes of Knocked Up, The 40-Year Old Virgin, Funny People, Superbad, Pineapple Express....the list goes on for a long while. However in his new film, his frequent collaborator Seth Rogen is nowhere in sight, probably due to being busy getting high as a kite in some basement up in Hollywood. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Apatow himself had a cheeky joint or two on-set of this movie, especially since weed, typical to his other movies, does play a part in this picture, though it’s not a main focus, more of a character trait. That character being Saturday Night Live’s Pete Davidson. Well, it’s Pete Davidson playing a character called Scott, though it’s definitely insinuated that Scott is based on Pete Davidson himself. So basically he’s playing himself. To be honest, like many people, I’ve never been a big fan of Pete Davidson. I don’t particularly find him funny, nor entertaining. Look, I’ve got nothing against the guy, I just really want to punch him in the face whenever I see him. Hey, don’t blame me! Blame his genetics!! He has a very punchable face! So it comes to no surprise that he does receive a couple of punches in this movie! Not from me though, as I am not in the movie, but my point still stands. On a serious note, as I said, I’ve never previously been a fan of Davidson, but I have enjoyed Apatow’s projects before, so I decided to give The King of Staten Island a chance. 

What Judd Apatow excels at is taking the raw material of traumatic life crises, and then making them funny in his trademark awkward way. Thus he’s made fun of (sympathetically of course) topics like accidental pregnancy, marital breakdown, terminal disease, and all of these he’s managed to turn comical, yet still very much relatable. Judd Apatow is fully aware that life itself is a funny thing, so comedy can be found even in the worst times. With The King of Staten Island, his gaze sets upon the themes of childhood bereavement and its lingering aftermath, thus stopping one from properly moving on and being able to do something good for him or herself. But The King of Staten Island feels a bit different to Apatow’s previous works. Spikes of dry humour are sprinkled throughout, yet this movie is definitely more of a drama, with the tone more honest and heartfelt. Don’t get me wrong, there are some really funny moments, I definitely giggled a few times, but the movie shines more when it tackles serious issues of depression and questioning the point of living when you’re stuck in a dead-end life. That is very much thanks to the presence of Pete Davidson, who inks in details from his own life into his character, thus delivering a bruised and broken performance, yet very much relatable to many. His role becomes even more interestingly textured when he finds a father-figure in his mother’s ex-boyfriend (funnily enough the reason the boyfriend was an ex was due to Davidson’s character’s actions). As a character study, this movie, though sentimental, is really powerful.

I was really pleasantly surprised to see Steve Buscemi have a little role among the cast, however now it makes total sense. With the movie being a reflection of Davidson’s own life, in real life, Pete Davidson's father was a firefighter who died in the line of duty, rescuing victims of the 9/11 attack. Buscemi himself used to be a firefighter in the 80′s, and he returned to duty to help on the day of the tragedy. So his presence in this movie feels rather fitting, and a nice additional attention to detail. And of course Buscemi is very loveable in his minor role, with the rest of the cast including Marisa Tomei, Bill Burr and Apatow’s own daughter Maude Apatow all delivering solid turns. I had a minor problem with Bel Powley who plays Davidson’s girlfriend, as I found her performance to be a bit amateur, but it never was so bad that it took me out of the film, so I feel bad singling her out.

The King of Staten Island definitely is worth your time, as long as you have the time. Typically to an Apatow picture, the movie is very long, and to be honest it does drag and overstay its welcome a bit, however I could say the same about Apatow’s other films like The 40-Year Old Virgin, which goes on forever! Seems like Apatow really dislikes deleting or cutting scenes. Look, I get it, you direct something, every scenes then becomes something you cherish as it is something you created. But to make a good film, you have to be willing to let certain things go. That’s right, I am judging someone who is definitely more rich and proven to have more talent than me but do I care? I ask you, do I care?? No, I do not. But the film is very much worth the watch. It is predictable by default, but very amusing at times and never boring. And see it for Pete Davidson, as he’s obviously a pivotal reason why this movie succeeds.

Overall score: 7/10

[violetosprey]

Is possible to even have a healthy relationship with a yandere? 🩸 🔪

Hey there.  I’m going to go ahead and assume this is a question regarding fictional yanderes because that’s what this blog focuses on.

Now people who’ve read a little into this tumblr before know I tend to lean more towards the “romance turned horror” kinds of yandere stories where the yandere in question is definitely the antagonist.  In those, yeah those won’t be healthy relationships being shown (I don’t call it horror for nothing).

Despite this, the answer to your question I’d actually say is: Yes.

Remember, you said “healthy,” not “normal.”  There IS a difference.  While yandere behavior can get a little strange and excessive, that behavior itself might not ALWAYS negatively impact the overall relationship.  And yes, while there are plenty of yandere who definitely don’t exhibit healthy boundaries a relationship needs, it’s not impossible to adjust a yandere so that the relationship between them and their S/O is not only enjoyable, but also functional.

What is a healthy relationship first of all?  Well it’s kind of odd for me to be answering this since most of my important relationships are more familial or platonic.  But the same rules should apply here I think.

The participants in a relationship should:

-        Have good communication

-        Be there for each other

-        Give healthy space when necessary

-        Stand on equal footing (respect wise definitely)

-        Be able to compromise

-        Not harm one another mentally/physically intentionally

Some of those ideas kind of blend together but I think you get the idea.  Now already just from that you can spot why yanderes can potentially be a bad suitor.  We’ve seen yanderes who stalk, ignore/fight back against rejection, kidnap and straight up murder for their cause.  Doesn’t really scream “dream boyfriend/girlfriend” in the most realistic sense.  

The big thing to remember though is not all of the extremely negative behavior of a yandere CAN have is mutually exclusive to yanderes.  Meaning, you don’t have to have a yandere character whose knife crazy or even all that threatening honestly.

One obvious thing to do is just tone down a yandere character. You can keep a lot of crazy lovesick stuff they do: take secret photos of their S/O, have a big shrine, talk endlessly or almost exclusively about their S/O, glare at the opposition (there is a BIG difference also between a character who has threatening thoughts vs. one that ACTS upon said threats), etc.  Again, this certainly would make the relationship seem weird from the outside due to how enthralled the yandere is.  But as long as the behavior there is not really too disruptive for either the S/O OR the yandere in their daily lives, it doesn’t necessarily make it bad.

If the behavior exhibited by the yandere doesn’t cause the S/O extreme mental stress or disrupt their daily routine (like school, work or even pastimes), then no harm no foul.

This may be because the S/O is unperturbed by the behavior, or actually is very into it.  Of course, for a healthy relationship the S/O needs to reciprocate the yandere’s feelings. That’s super obvious to state I know, but I need to emphasize that because one of the biggest reasons a yandere can end up as the antagonist of a story is because the S/O doesn’t WANT to be with the yandere.  There can be many reasons for that, but a rejected yandere can take a “no” very badly.

I should also mention that a receptive S/O ALONE is not enough to declare the relationship automatically healthy.  There are people for instance who stay in a relationship with…well someone who they obviously shouldn’t.  Hence why toning down some of the yandere’s behavior so they’re not outright dangerous for the S/O to be with is still a huge factor here.

Oh! I know it’s always common to first and foremost consider the S/O’s safety when we’re talking about yanderes.  But just for fun I should also state it TECHNICALLY is possible for a yandere’s relationship with an S/O to be unhealthy more-so for the yandere rather than the S/O.  Most people probably don’t even consider this (I don’t).  But if for instance the yandere is the type of character that is just so incredibly focused on the needs and happiness of the S/O, their behavior may become self-destructive.  For instance, they quit their job to follow the S/O around all day.  They get extreme anxiety they can’t overcome whenever they’re apart from the S/O.  Or they won’t EAT or SLEEP because they’re too lovesick to literally think about their own needs.  Fun fact, that last one came to mind because I was watching a bunch of random episodes of “Archie’s Weird Mysteries” that I used to watch when I was younger.  That’s probably the strangest reference I ever made, but that show is the only reason I even know what the heck Riverdale is supposed to be about.  But yeah, there was an episode where one of the girls wanted to get Archie to love her more and it makes him so lovesick he literally starts neglecting his own health.

So yeah, not a topic tackled often, but a healthy relationship for a yandere and an S/O should be for both ends.  If they’re well written characters, they should be able to stand a bit on their own when apart from the S/O.

In the event anyone was curious if you could have a healthy yandere relationship WITHOUT toning down the yandere…well I think that really depends on how an author writes the story and characters as a whole. With fiction, you can get pretty creative with the scenarios.  Not just with the yandere, the S/O could be a rather “unique” character themselves.  I don’t really have any good examples off the top of my head, but the relationship could be something where any other normal character wouldn’t work with the yandere, but something about the S/O makes them a perfect match.  This may be due to their personality, backstory or even special abilities they have.

You can also set up outside conflicts that make the relationship with the yandere seem a lot more endearing than it normally would.  Bringing up Future Diary (again), remember Yuki thought Yuno was initially cute but was rather unsettled by some of her behavior.  If it was kept in the normal school life setting, he probably would have kept running away from her.  But the main plot of Future Diary was a survival game that he was not ready for initially.  Yuno’s dedication to him while there are other characters out for blood suddenly made Yuno GOOD for his health.  It was safer for him to be with her, and then this gave the two an opportunity to actually bond overtime under these unusual circumstances.

It’s never a bad idea to give some time for the bond to grow. In a fictional story, the audience will have an easier time warming up to the characters as a couple if they’ve been able to see who they develop together.

Otherwise, you could start right off with the characters already in a relationship.  I know I’ve seen some comedies where this is the case, and it’s always fun to see how the two characters interact in a daily routine.

That’s all I got for now. Hope that works!

[azaffranist]

To think that Frozen 2 could've been so DARK. You think that kids would be psychologically damaged if Elsa had actually died, having grown emotionally attached to her over the past six years?

First off, sorry about the delay anon! I researched some more information about the topic before tackling this ask.

I was hoping the documentary would maybe give a little insight into this to understand those endings better, but sadly (and unsurprisingly) they didn’t. I wouldn’t expect them to talk about Elsa’s death because that’s scandalous, but at least I expected them to talk about A Place of Our Own, a scene and a concept that got cut late into development. So late, it’s actually in the Frozen 2 artbook. I’m not gonna go full conspiracy theorist because that’s pointless, but we know for sure they decided not to talk about the most controversial topics like Arendelle’s destruction or Hard Nokks. Which is understandable, but I’m not entirely too happy with that, lol.

I actually got new information about F2′s original/early plots. So far, I haven’t been able to find the link to the source (will definitely update the post if I do): allegedly, a storyboard artist called Jeff Ranjo, who also worked in F1, said in an animation symposium around early 2019 that he found the original script of F2 to be so dark that he couldn’t take it anymore and therefore left the team. His name is in the ending credits because he had worked for a while on the movie before quitting.

Jeff Ranjo is not some random dude. Jeff Ranjo is the artist behind pieces such as this. I’m sure everyone recognizes this unique artstyle.

Nevertheless, I haven’t found the source. It’s not easy to, because I’m not sure what animation symposium it was. There’s tons of them, and it’s something that he happened to mention, as it wasn’t focused on Frozen 2. So we’ll take this for now with a grain of salt, and I hope to update in the future if this is confirmed real or not.

But - it is good to consider when we’re talking about this, and it ties in with what we’ve talked about. Frozen 2′s original plot most likely was, according to multiple sources not related to each other, dark. And we know why. 

As for your question (wow that took a long time!) I’m glad you asked it because it’s something that we haven’t discussed much. I think it would’ve simply been devastating. For a multitude of reasons. Something to note before going into detail, though, is to establish what we mean by “Elsa’s death” - some of the information we got points to her dying but in some versions, her presence would still be represented by the Unity Snowflake (with a chance to come back in a third movie). I don’t know what you guys think but that doesn’t scream “alive” to me. That’s... kind of dead with a touch of magic. So keep that in mind when I’m talking about dead Elsas.

Kids wouldn’t have taken it well. Most adults would’ve sort of... accepted it. But I know we as fans wouldn’t have taken it well, either. These characters are important to us. They’re role models. They represent the struggle many of us have gone through. And Elsa is one of the most relevant characters when it comes to that. Her powers in the first movie resonated with all sorts of people, because at the end of the day, they were a metaphor that we were free to interpret however we want. Mental illness, queerness, disability, being “different” - you name it. What’s vital is that because of this, all sorts of people connected with Elsa. And seeing her die would’ve hurt. A lot.

And well, it’s obvious that kids would’ve been deeply hurt by this. The younger audience already didn’t enjoy Elsa vs Nokk. They didn’t like at all when Elsa froze. And something interesting to note, the final version toned this all down a little bit. Elsa’s freezing and thawing was originally accompanied by a much, much sadder soundtrack. They removed Elsa’s last breath, maybe in an attempt to make her death feel less “final”. We know shots in the Dark Sea fight were cut and this is painfully apparent in the last movie. Here’s what I’m talking about.

So, if the movie was modified down to removing Elsa’s last breath as to not upset kids (kids were, unsurprisingly, still upset by it) just imagine what would’ve happened if Elsa didn’t come back. Sure, apparently there was gonna be a snowflake, but... that doesn’t scream alive to me, again.

The merch would’ve flopped. What kid would want the doll of a dead character for Christmas? And we’re sleeping on the fact that Olaf was not gonna come back as a consequence, either. In terms of popularity with kids, Elsa is obviously number one, especially among girls. Olaf is number two, and boys’ favorite.

So, yes. It would’ve been devastating. If Anna had died in F1, while it would’ve hurt lots, it wouldn’t have hurt as much, because it’s the first movie of a franchise that’s just starting out. But F2 is the sequel to a movie that was showered in love and that received 2 shorts thanks to its popularity. As you said, kids (and adults too!) got attached to these characters over the span of six years. And to see them die would’ve been soul crushing. I know plenty of kids would’ve grieved them as if they were a real person. In fact, I would have too.

Were they gonna die, like, absolutely, 100% permanently, and not come back ever? No, I don’t think so. In fact they were probably setting up F3. Yes, it’s true it wasn’t gonna happen right after F2 - but after F2′s huge monetary success, I’m not afraid to say that I would see it happening soon. 2 years from now, 3, 4 even. But definitely not six. The reason F2 took so long is because F1 was supposed to be standalone movie, but it was so well received it got a sequel. That’s how things work in this world. If it brings money, Disney will try to milk it.

But that doesn’t change the fact F2 seemed like it was gonna end with a not-very-alive Elsa and a definitely-dead Olaf. This would’ve led to people being furious, sad, but I don’t doubt some would sort of like it for being different. What I think, though, is that because this ending seemed to be planned with much more anticipation, the plot’s quality would’ve been better. That’s something you just sort of deduce by logic, honestly.

Elsa and Olaf dying would’ve hurt people. I really wish to know exactly how it went, because execution matters. Some things sound one way on paper but feel completely different onscreen because of the execution. And I hope we learn the truth one day.

[itzleon345]

We’re a Million Worlds Apart

Chapter 1: If I Could Just Tell Her

Fandom: Little Witch Academia

Pairing: Diana Cavendish/ Atsuko “Akko” Kagari

Read it on AO3: Here

Rating: T

Word count: 1974 words

Summary: Akko is hopelessly in love with Diana but she is to much of a coward to confess so she just keeps her feelings in her inside fantasizing how would it be if she had the guts to tell her how she feels.

Look at your beautiful blue eyes, deep as the same sea, lose myself in them like a sailor without a compass to guided him, believe that I could never leave that abyss without an end, and then, observe your smile which has no comparison, your sort of subtle and perfect and real smile that you only trust to some of us, I can't believe you don't know how that same smile can make me feel, ecstatic, happy, I could even say that overburdened, but well, in the end I know that this is all for the simple fact that I'm hopelessly in love with you, Diana Cavendish

You make me happier day by day, you make me want to discover more things about you, as, for example, whenever you get bored you scribbled stars in your notes, stars that resemble those that some months ago you and I released

And I also notice that although you seem completely disinterested in such childish topics, you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines that Hannah and Barbara leave in the library 

I know all of this because lately you are the only thought in my head, I know this because I love to know things about you, because I adore every part of you, because I treasure every moment by your side and for that same reason i keep it all inside my head and you don't know anything about this, I have to leave this unsaid, because even if I want to do it, I can't even get close to you, I can't find a way.

But I swear to you that every night when I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up the only thing I can think of is ‘if I could tell her? Tell her all the things I see, if I could tell her? Tell her that she is everything to me’ and I know I will not because we’re a million worlds apart, because you are a queen and I am a jester, and anyway, even if I could tell you I would not know where to start because there is too much to say, Because day after day I discover something new about you, I really don't know what to do, so the only thing I have left is to fantasize about 'if I could tell her?'

Akko was writing all of this on a loose sheet as soon as she woke up

"Akko! Hurry up, it's time to start classes” Lotte hurried from the closet while she finished putting on her vest.

"Please be considerate to us, I don't wish to have to clean the Trolls' toilet a second time this month," Sucy said already ready from her side of the desk as she finished mixing a couple of liquids.

"Yep! I'm going!" The brunette answered as she put the letter in one of the desk drawers

——————————————————

"Well girls, I hope you have paid attention to the class as this topic will come in next week's exam, now go" said Finnelan with force in her voice

Akko closed her notebook with a sigh, notebook that had no notes as the whole class she had spent thinking about her most recent dilemma ‘maybe one day I will be able to tell her how I feel.’

Her morning classes were already over and it was lunchtime -her favorite time-, she and her teammates shot out to the dining room where, as always, the green and blue teams were already sitting, for some reason or another they were talking about the Night Fall convention that Lotte and Barbara had managed to drag them down a couple of weeks ago.

"Hey Princess" Amanda tried to get the attention of the blonde who seemed that didn’t paid attention to the previous conversation because she was waiting for someone to arrive "do you want to know what Akko told me about you a couple of days ago?" Diana instantly turned to see the American with a look of interest.

"Is that a yes?" The redhead asked a second time with a small smile to which Diana just nodded.

Akko -who had just arrived- was nervous as much as she could be, because even if she tried to keep her feelings for the heiress on the sidelines, she knew that -somehow- Amanda had discovered her little crush with the blonde (it should be noted that although she thought she was discreet, everyone had already knew about it, well, everyone except for Diana who was equal or more dense than Akko with all of this romance thing)

"Well, she said she loves the way you ride your broom," Amanda replied with a laugh.

"A-amanda!" Akko complained with her face completely red.

And either way, Akko wasn't the only one with a strange reaction, each of them had a different one, Sucy giggled, Lotte's cheeks were tinged with a subtle blush, Jasminka looked a little disapprovingly at her teammate, Constanze simply stood up from her place next to Jasminka to fist-bump Amanda, Hannah and Barbara glared at Amanda, and Diana? Well Diana was just extremely confused, she didn't understand why they all seemed to exaggerate at a simple compliment from her favorite brunette

"That's it? Did she say anything else? ” Asked the heiress with clear confusion and interest

"About you?" answered maliciously with another question Sucy which had been the fastest to get out of the small group shock

"No, n-never mind" Diana stuttered as she turned to look elsewhere, because it is not like she was interested in what Akko thought about her, obviously not and if it came to interest it would be for the simple fact that they were friends, nothing out of the ordinary, obvious.

"Don't worry Cav, she said so many things! But there are so much that I'm trying to remember the best ones” Amanda said with a bit of mockery “For example! She said that your hair look really pretty whe-” the redhead tried to continue but was interrupted by Akko who lunged from her place in front of her to silence her

“It look pretty...er... cool! The way your hair moves when you fly is pretty cool... hehe ”Akko finished answering from the ground with one hand in Amanda's mouth and the other scratching the back of her neck

"You did?" The blonde asked again with a small blush

"O-of course!" Akko almost yelled as she stood up and helped Amanda to stand "b-but hey, what were you guys talking about before we got here?" The brunette asked looking at her friends for help.

"Night Fall!" Barbara shouted "I-i mean, we were talking about the Night Fall convention we went, heh" Akko turned to see her with gratitude and they continued chatting about the convention and those conventions that were to come.

Lunch continued without any further altercation, just a couple of playful glances from Amanda and Sucy's two-way remarks, the normal. At the end, the group separated and each one go to their respective classes of the afternoon.

——————————————————

"Akko, I think it's about time you confessed to Diana" Lotte said out of nowhere.

The little lunch drama had happened a couple of weeks ago, weeks in which quite similar situations had occurred, which always ended with Akko shouting some nonsense or someone in the floor -except for Sucy who was too scary for Akko to try to tackle her-, and this was gradually annoying her friends, none of them could believe how Akko was such a coward not to confessed to someone who was obviously going to accept her, and how Diana was so stubborn not to accept her own infatuation that she excused as a "Very good friendship"

"W-what ?!" Akko screamed as she got up from her bunk and hit Lotte's.

"Lotte is right, it is too upsetting to see you mopping around by your supposed ‘unrequited love’” Sucy added from the desk.

"Girls you know that I can’t, she herself has shown me that she doesn’t see me as nothing more than a friend" Akko answered while rubbing the place on her head which had been hit

"Argh" Sucy growled as she listened to her stupid -but dear- friend

“Besides, how do you suppose I would do it? What the hell would I say to her? "Akko said as she stood up from her bed to start walking back and forth in their little hallway

"Perhaps you plan for me to tell her how I have always wondered how she learned to dance like if all the rest of the world isn’t there?" the tone of voice of the little witch was gradually growing

"Or how her presence makes me feel back to the stratosphere, that her smile makes me the happiest person in the world, that I don't know what I would do if she were to leave one day, because making her happy became my new dream?" She continued with her little speech as she sat back on her bed

"Is that what you plan? Because I do not see it very convenient, I don’t want to lose her, I don’t want her to abandon me because she found out that I am this freak that fell in love with her best friend, I really don’t want to, because she is everything to me” little by little her eyes began to moisten

"Besides, we’re a million worlds apart, she is literally the best witch to have stepped on Luna Nova in decades, she is the heir to one of the most powerful families of all times, while I" she laughed sadly "I am only a screw up witch who still doesn't know how to correctly fly a broom” By this moment tears were already coming out of her eyes

"What do you want me to do when there is this great divide?" She said and she started sobbing for a moment

"She always seems to be so far away," Akko continued. Sucy, meanwhile, stood up from her place to sit next to Akko, Lotte also got off her bunk while giving Sucy a sad look and sat on the other side of Akko

"What am I going to do when the distance is too wide?" Lotte hugged her teammate as a couple of tears escaped from her own eyes

"She doesn't know anything" Sucy let out with a bit of venom in her voice, because, although, she knew it wasn't on purpose, she was extremely bothered by all the pain the Cavendish heiress caused to her friend.

"And how would l look to her face and s-say" Akko stuttered while she released from Lotte's embrace and got up again, this time going to her desk and began in a whisper to repeat the same sentence

"I love you" she said as she took out the letter she had written a couple of weeks ago

"I love you" she opened the window

"I love you!" She screamed at the top of her lungs at the cold night outside of her room

"I love you" she said for the last time with her eyes closed and a tender smile as she hugged herself and the letter, but when she opened her eyes she returned to reality and likewise she took the letter and threw it out of the window and close it, and then return to the embrace of her friends -Yes, Sucy included-

"But we are a million worlds apart, and I don’t know how I would even start telling her anyway," she said spitefully.

"If I could just tell her" she whispered as she lay down on her bed together with her friends.

"If I could ..." she closed her eyes and slept so she could dream what her world would be like if she weren't a complete coward