#Oatmeal Good for Health

[superbattrash]

Ate oatmeal for breakfast

Someone give me a medal and a fucking treat

[iwontstopme]

april 1: 1500 (ideally less than 1200)

meal 1: 210

eggs and beans

[goeticarchaeologist]

Coffee, breakfast, journal time, and feeling productive. Hope to get some work done today!

[thehauntedetheral]

Omg i love your yandere baker so much, he's so cute 😭🫶. We need more of him pls? 😔🙏. How about when y/n start gaining on weight cause y/n keep eating his cake and then she stop going to his bakery for a while and also avoid him a lot cause meeting him means stuffing your face with his cake (dude def love seeing y/n eating his food) and that led to him going crazy 💀

Part 1 : https://www.tumblr.com/thehauntedetheral/757598004742176768/can-we-get-a-yandere-baker-x-reader-pls-thank?source=share

Omg i love your yandere baker so much, he's so cute 😭🫶. We need more of him pls? 😔🙏. How about when y/n start gaining on weight cause y/n keep eating his cake and then she stop going to his bakery for a while and also avoid him a lot cause meeting him means stuffing your face with his cake (dude def love seeing y/n eating his food) and that led to him going crazy 💀

Yandere Baker Pt. 2

Requests are open !

• "Nooooo!!!!" This was your first reaction when you measured your current weight on the machine.

• You have gained quite a lot weight you thought looking at the number on the machine.

• Today at office a coworker said to you that you were looking quite chubby this days and that led you to this checking out your weight.

• You looked at the mirror and thought to yourself that now you have to go on diet as you cheeks looked a bit chubby and your weight increased.

• You didn't want to go on a diet because that would mean not going to your favourite bakery, seeing the cute baker and eating his delicious treats.

• The mouthwatering pastries and cakes are now replaced by veggies, fruits and nutritional food.

• It has been a huge record that you have not gone to the bakery since 5 days.

• Your absence made yan worried about you and sad.

• "Are my baking skills not good now?" He thought while waiting for you but you didn't came.

• He would look at you through bakery glass wall jogging in morning. He would come out and call out for you "Y/n I just baked your favourite pastry, come inside and let's have a taste." While holding the tray with mouthwatering pastries at you.

The aroma, the beautiful texture tempted you but you would just start running away yelling "Next time yan right now busy exercising".

• This made him incredible sad thinking "what will I do now if my y/n isn't eating my pastries and cakes?"

• Will definitely cry for hours in his bakery sitting alone in a corner.

• Going crazy thinking "are my baking skills not enough now? Does she not like me anymore now? I baked her favourite and yet she refused, this is not my y/n."

• Enough is enough he goes to your home one day ringing the bell like a maniac with a box filled with your favourites. Wanting to know why his favourite customer isn't coming anymore????!!!!!

•You opened the door and invited him inside explaining the whole weight gain thing.

• He is just shocked looking at you with unbelievable expression. You and getting fat? IMPOSSIBLE.

• According to him you are absolutely perfect and not at all chubby, fat, skinny or anything.

• Thinks of beating that co worker who made you think you are gaining weight. Even though he is not a violence person.

• According to him you are not gaining weight you are just becoming more healthy with his love which he is pouring on you through his baked goods.

• He tries to convince you that you are not gaining weight and you need to come to bakery as usual.

• But when you don't agree he comes with a plan.

• This man starts a new section in his bakery with title "SUGAR FREE BAKED GOODS" which has no sugar and is made from only healthy stuffs only. Like sugar free bananas muffins, oatmeal cookies which health influencer shows on their channel even though it is totally against his baking ethics. But this man would do anything for you. For you to eat his food. After all this man's love language is feeding you his handmade food.

• His bakery now has oatmeal cookies, apple donuts which is nothing but fruits cutted and some healthy toppings on it. Making all this in his bakery even though he hates it as he loves making stuff filled with cream, toppings, chocolate etc.

• But he will do anything to have you back at bakery and eat.

• His sale increased as he was selling both cream fillied delicious pastries and healthy sugar free things made from apples and berries and oatmeal etc.

• His bakery was all over the internet viral through health influencer videos you followed which made you go to the bakery too.

• You ate the healthy stuff and even complimented him on this new business ideas of his (only if you knew that he started all this for you)

• He was happy that you would come sometimes at bakery for the healthy stuff now.

• But he was not elated as you were not coming everyday and eating those baked stuff which made you happy.

• He would come with you on morning joggings to be near you.

• After a month with your exercise and dieting you loss a good amount of weight. Which made you happy.

• Upon your success in weight lossing he gave you a small cupcake of your favourite icing.

"Come on y/n I made it for your celebration on losing weight. I wanted to make a cake but I know you won't eat it so I made a little cupcake. And come on all the health influencers says you should reward yourself with a little treat after work. And a little cupcake won't hurt." He said manipulating you with his puppy eyes and pretty words.

And the cupcake he made for you looks so tempting that you ate it thinking a little cupcake won't hurt. You ate it and felt like you were in heaven again eating it after a month. You missed all this so bad!!!

• Well you have fallen again now in his sweet baked trap coming everyday eating crossiant, pastry, cake while yan tells you " a little won't hurt y/n you have already loss weight and you also eat the nutritious food I made it's all balance" he says while feeding you his delicious treats being happy that you are back to eating his baked goods.

• Seems like you are never gonna be able to escape his pastries and the good looking baker who makes it.

For more yandere reading :

[judasofsuburbia]

something something caretaker! steve gets hired by rockstar! eddie to look after and live with wayne. everything is set up over the phone after eddie was given his resume so eddie's never physically seen the guy but he has enough positive reviews and references that it seems like there is anybody in this world that doesn't like this steve harrington fellow.

wayne munson soon becomes his #1 fan.

wayne keeps telling eddie all about steve in their weekly phone calls. anytime eddie tries to steer the conversation into something actually about wayne's health and wellbeing, wayne manages to involve steve. says that steve's blushing face is real handsome while steve rolls his eyes and laughs to himself across the room.

"you should come home on your next break," wayne says.

"i'm planning to."

"steve really wants to meet you," wayne says with an infliction.

"well, shit, wayne. from how much you gush about him, i'm excited to meet your new boyfriend too," eddie teases.

"oh hush, you. my casanova days are over. you, however, could use someone good."

the next break eddie has, nearly six months after steve starts working for the munsons, he arrives at nearly 11pm. he's quiet as he sneaks into the house he bought wayne years ago and nearly shits himself when he sees steve hanging out on the couch watching TV. he drops his suitcase to the floor, jolting steve out of his trance.

"oh god, i'm so sorry!" steve rushes to say as eddie clutches his chest and tries to steady his breathing.

"steve, i take it?" eddie laughs breathlessly.

"yeah, hi," steve stands from the couch and holds his hand out. "nice to finally meet you."

steve steps into the light as he does this and eddie's taken aback by just how handsome he is. oh fuck, wayne wasn't just messing around. eddie takes his hand, firm and strong, and shakes it.

"sorry to jumpscare you like that," steve smiles and his eyes twinkle in the low hallway light.

"no, i should've prepared myself," eddie says. "someone hasn't been in the house either than wayne or i in....well, ever."

"don't worry, i'll try to keep mostly to myself as you two have quality bonding time," steve replies sheepishly.

eddie shakes his head. "you don't gotta do that. you're more welcome around us than anyone. i owe you so much for looking after him."

steve smiles. "you already sign all my paychecks."

right, yeah. eddie's technically this guy's boss. eddie's never really thought of it that way before. that means any plans eddie's monkey brain had in the last thirty seconds about flirting with the handsome caretaker is out the window. it wouldn't be appropriate. eddie slouches and gives steve a tired smile.

"i'm gonna turn in. see you at breakfast?" eddie asks, hopeful despite his conflicting internal monologue.

"be prepared for oatmeal," steve jokes. "it's the only thing he wants for breakfast nowadays."

eddie scrunches up his face. "you don't have any poptarts or anything fun stashed away somewhere?"

"depends. do you like brown sugar cinnamon?" steve asks.

"love it," eddie whispers.

"then yeah, your breakfast fate can be a little better," steve nudges his elbow and it lights up eddie's skin.

"thank you caretaker steve," eddie salutes and turns heel to his teenage bedroom.

over the next few days, eddie goes out of his mind. he watches steve just do his job, the job he hired him to do, and he's still going crazy over it. how steve prepares for everything, accidents and things eddie couldn't even predict. spoon feeds wayne if his hands are too shaky. jokes and messes around with him like he's family. wayne's eyes keep drifting over to eddie's when steve isn't looking, a smug little smirk on his face.

"it can't happen," eddie seethes when steve leaves the room. "you're what's important here and i need him to stick around."

"and i need you to stop moping about the country, getting your heart broken every other week," wayne retorts. "steve's a good boy. he would treat you right."

"we don't even know if he's gay," eddie grumbles.

wayne gives him an unimpressed look that makes eddie bark out a frustrated laugh. "take a look at his bedroom, kid. you'll have all your questions answered," wayne advises right before steve returns.

"jeopardy time?" steve asks, hands already on wayne's wheelchair handles.

"eddie is gonna beat us both," wayne claims.

"that so?" steve beams. eddie is glaring daggers at wayne.

"he's full of useless facts," wayne jokes while eddie throws up his hands and steve laughs joyfully.

eddie falls for steve more and more as the week goes on. he tries his best to restrain it, tries his best to never be alone with steve. catches himself from checking steve out (especially in his daily running outfit, god) and swallows flirtatious lines that nearly escape his mouth. it's hard to say no when steve invites him to watch a movie or hang out with him while he cooks dinner but he does. eddie has to be coming off like a total dick at this point but it's for the best.

steve is out running an errand so eddie finally decides to snoop only a little bit. opens steve's bedroom door and smiles at all the decorations. sure enough, there is a little bisexual pride flag sticking out of the pen cup on his desk. eddie is admiring framed photos of steve and some kids along with little handwritten camp postcards on his corkboard when steve enters the room.

"anything interesting?" steve jokes from the doorway.

"shit!" eddie yells, clutching his chest again like he did the first night. "fuck, i'm so sorry."

"don't be," steve shrugs easily. "it is your house after all. i snoop your teenage bedroom all the time when wayne asks me to change the sheets."

"still, i shouldn't be invading your privacy," eddie says with an apologetic face.

steve walks carefully over to where eddie is standing. "i don't think there is much privacy between us where wayne is concerned," steve says quietly with a kind smile, leaning up against the desk.

"i'm sorry about him," eddie groans, rubbing his hand over his chin. "he is a little pushy about my love life."

"no, i'm sorry that he's weird about us. i swear i called you handsome once and he has never left it alone since," steve admits with a small blush.

eddie's eyebrows raise. "you think i'm handsome?"

"are you kidding me? you got this whole," steve gestures in a circle, "rockstar bravado going on. hard not to admire the show."

"well, you've got a show i admire too," eddie admits, inching closer.

steve huffs, looking down bashfully. "do i?"

"mhm. smart, genuine guy with a heart of gold. makes wayne's days better. lights up a room. probably rescues cats from trees and saves drowning puppies," eddie smiles.

steve tilts his head from side to side. "i may have rescued a cat before but it was stuck under my little brother Dustin's porch."

"see? heart of gold," eddie repeats.

steve exhales deeply, twisting his mouth. "i wasn't sure if you liked me."

eddie reaches his hand over and touches steve's hand on top of the desk. steve looks up shyly to eddie's sympathetic face. "i didn't want to-- there's a power trip here, you know? like you said, i sign your paychecks. i'm not about to pull out the moves and make you feel like your job is at risk if you aren't into it."

steve nods before slowly rubbing his thumb over eddie's.

"and if i am into it?" steve whispers.

"well i--" eddie stutters.

"can i kiss you?" steve asks quietly. eddie's not sure he's ever been asked in his entire life.

eddie nods. when steve's lips touch his, it's all over. any pretense of keeping his feelings undercover blows up like fireworks underneath his skin. eddie feels as his resolve sparkles and cracks away into the air. he encourages steve to keep kissing him by pulling in his face closer. steve sucks his bottom lip in between his own when his watch beeps.

"wayne's meds," steve whispers.

"old bastard," eddie jokes. "watch a movie with me later?"

steve bites his lip and nods. "i know just the couch."

[petite-anni]

How can I loose weight?

I got you.

💗weightloss, diets and healthy habits💗

1. healthy habits

before we start, you want longterm process. So form habits. Become disciplined.

No crash-diet means no jojo-effect. No crash-diet means actual progress that doesnt go to waste.

2. diet

No matter how much you move, if your diet is not sitting right, you wont slim down. Over time you have to include healthy and nutritious options into your diet.

~small bowl of veggies, before breakfast

(such as cucumber, bell pepper, carotts, tomatos. That way your bloodsugar levels wont come crushing down midday)

~breakfast should include something that keeps you full. Dont skip it. People who eat breakfast tend to loose more weight and be slimmer.

(Porride, Eggs, Avocado, etc)

I usually include: Oatmeal, Chia sees, Berries and one Banana

~try not to snack, keep going for three meals a day

~eat whole foods, eat clean and make sure to dont neglect your protein-intake

(protein keeps us full and satisfied. Also, you want to loose fat, not muscle)

~cut out sodas and liquid calories!!!

such a waste. go for the light options with 0-2kcal. They taste the same, if not better.

Also, drink enough water.

3. workout

Normally, I work out every day in some way.

Cardio, strenght, pilates or just a walk outside.

Moving your body, keeping it toned and flexible, helps your mood, your health and your overall life.

On top, it burns calories.

Build some muscle and loose some fat. Thats how you get your dream body.

Here are my favorite channels, that I workout to daily:

MIZI (cardio mainly, full body workouts and burning calories)

Lidia Mera (pilates full body, toning and strenghtenig, legs, arms, abs)

Shirlyn Kim (specific parts, weightloss, strenghtening/toning,thigh gap)

Yuuka Sagawa (posture, arms and upper body)

Nina Dapper (arms, legs and abs)

4. Beauty Secrets

~ginger/curcuma shots

I tend to have ginger shots to boost my immune system and overall health. They are also very good for your skin and can give you a natural glow.

~probiotics

Your gut health is a game changer. You get less break outs and you can loose weight faster.

You can heal your gut through your diet and order some probiotics.

~castor oil

I live and breath castor oil.

Usually I apply it before bed on my lashes, hair and skin. It helps with hair growth, skin protection and hydration. Its also very good for debloating and detox, if you put it into your belly button.

~green tea

This magic tea can help you loose weigtt, reduce the risk of several diseases, such as diabetes or heart disease,

It reduces anxiety and lowers your cholesterol level.

[mccardswife]

We've got your back

lionesses x teen!reader

lucy bronze x teen!reader

summary: lionesses x teen!reader, where r struggles with social anxiety and her older teammates support her.

(this was a request, but the request disappeared. but here it is!)

warnings: social anxiety, angst, nightmare, fluff and mentions of panic attack, please remind me if there is more tw! (do not read if you get triggered)

word count: 2826

i hope you like this one, i loved the request and i got really satisfied with the oneshot!

hope you enjoy!

——————————————————————————

You zoned out again, probably for the dozen time this week. It is England camp and you know what that means, I love all my england teammates trust me. They are like my family but I have a secret no one knows about, not even my teammates at Arsenal.

I have social anxiety, i feel very ashamed by it. It is so embarrassing that I need to take medications to function, and even when I take them I don't feel like myself.

It was day 2 of england camp. Which means we arrived yesterday. I am roomies with Lucy this camp because Jordan is with her lover (Leah). I love rooming with Lucy, she is like a mother to me. She is very protective but I try keeping my diagnosis a secret from her. Sometimes I even call her mom.

I am 17 now and when i first got called up to the national team I was 15 so the whole team, especially the older girls and Lucy are very protective over me and they helped me when i struggled with panic attacks during my first call ups and my debut for England.

8:00 clock

The alarm went off on Lucy's phone, I did not sleep very well. I had an awful nightmare in the middle of the night, that is all i think about now. I am just so scared that people will judge me for what i say. After conversations with the team last night I regret what i said, you did not say something bad. But you just feel being judged. The most awful feeling in the world.

My mom turned off the alarm and turned to me, I probably looked awful because I slept like shit. "Oh y/nn, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, just did not sleep very well" I said back. I started walking towards the bathroom exhaustively when she came up behind me and gave me a hug. "You know we are here for you right", she said. I just hugged her back saying "I know mom, i love you" and walked in the bathroom locking the door getting ready.

When I was done I unlocked the door and asked Lucy if she was ready to go down for breakfast. You see, we have two bathrooms. So each one of us has their private bathroom. I totally love it.

When we open our door Jordan and Leah stood there already waiting for us, they have the room beside us and we always walk down for breakfast together.

I have never been so scared before but after my nightmare last night I am really scared now, the only one who knows I have social anxiety is my manager at Arsenal, Jonas Eidevall and my manager at the national team, Sarina Wiegman.

It's an obligation for them to know because mental health is very important and because I take medications everyday. That reminds me, I forgot to take it this morning. Shit.

When we walked into the dining room I was sweating and nervous as crazy. I was shaking non stop and couldn't wait for my breakfast so I could sit down alone in peace. Just thinking.

After getting my food, I decided to eat some and oatmeal today. Because the oatmeal here is hella good.

Anyway I walked towards an empty table when I heard a familiar voice calling my name, I turned around and saw the gaffer, Sarina Wiegman.

Shit

"Y/n, could we talk outside for a minute please?". She asked me with a smile but I could tell the concerning look in her eyes when she saw me fiddling with my fingers anxiously.

"Yes, of course" I said with a shaky voice I think the whole team heard because when me and Sarina walked outside of the room I could see in the corner of my eye Lucy and the other girls watching me with questioning but worried looks.

When me and Sarina got outside she looked me in the eye and asked if something was on my mind. I said no. "Are you sure y/nn?, it is important that we know everything".

"Okay fine, I have been really struggling with nightmares and I had a panic attack a few hours before arriving to England camp yesterday" I said with a shaky voice and tears in my eyes.

"Oh honey, it is okay! Totally okay to have ups and downs, everyone here would support you, which got me asking, does anybody know about your social anxiety? And have you taken your medications today?" she asked...

I looked down in shame, no and no I told her.

"I am really sorry Sarina but it is so hard, I don't want to be judged if I tell the others, and be treated differently.

"Honey, it is very important that you open up, I really think it is time for you to open up, and I promise you that none of the girls will judge you, we all love you and want to support you! You will not get treated differently, everyone has their own struggles, do not feel embarrassed by it", she said to me sternly but very soft.

Which is one of the things I like about Sarina, a brilliant manager but first and foremost a amazing women who cares about every one of us as her kids.

Me and Sarina talked a bit more and she told me that because I have been struggling a lot with my anxiety and sleeping I will not start tomorrow, when we play against Ireland in the euro qualifier at Wembley. Which I totally understand, I need to get my shit together and open up because I hopefully think I will feel much better then. Also feel closer with my teammates, not that I am not close with them. trust me I am but recently I have been shutting down and try to isolate from the others, which they now have realised.

Sarina has some of my medications in her office, incase I forget to bring or take mine so we went to her office and I took them, with disgust. It makes me feel different, I don't like that.

"Y/n, is it not your fault you have social anxiety, okay? Trust me, you are not different, okay. Now you need to go to breakfast before training".

She then gave me a hug and I left her office. Have I told you that I love the hugs Sarina gives, it is probably one of the best hugs ever!

I walked towards the dining room again and looked at my phone and saw that I was with Sarina for almost 20 minutes, now Lucy is probably really worried.

I thought about how I am going to tell the team. I am first going to tell Lucy and some of the veterans on the team.

When I walked inside dining room some of the tables were in a middle of a conversation and did not see me, unfortunately Lucy looked up at the door the second it open.

Lucys pov

Sarina called y/n outside and I would be lying if I said I was not worried. I am sitting with the group I always sit with at England camp, Leah, Keira, Georgia, Rachel, Millie, Jordan, Mary and Beth Mead. I have been worried about y/n for a while, I sat deep in my thoughts thinking about y/n when Rach suddenly asked. "Lucy, you good? You've been sitting spaced out for a while".

"Yes I am ok, i am just a bit worried about the youngster, in other words y/nn". As much as i love her I want what's best for her and I really think she is struggling with something, she always seems scared, nervous and it gives me signs of anxiety".

"Yeah that is actually true" Leah said, "Her being on arsenal me, Beth and Jordan pretty much see y/n everyday and she seems very tense". Millie being the softie she is said "We should probably try talk to her later when she comes back".

"Good idea, I say. "but I can't stop thinking about why Sarina wanted to talk to her".

Keira leaned over to me and whispered in my ear "stop being so nervous love, we will talk to her and support y/nn no matter what".

I just kissed her on the cheek and said thank you.

We sat there eating and making small talk when I looked at the clock, y/n has been away for like 20 minutes now. I am kind of starting to get nervous now

But as I thought of her the door opened and there she walked in deep in her thoughts with a hard look on her face. She picked up her food she got earlier and wanted to sit alone, she walked past us but Jordan grabbed her wrist softly asking "You want to sit with us?, there is an empty chair beside Georgia".

Reader´s pov again

I picked up my food I left on an empty table before I was pulled out to talk with Sarina and was walking towards and empty table, but as I was walking past the table Lucy and the other girls were on I felt a hand grabbing my wrist, softly but suddenly.

it was Jordan

"You want to sit with us?, there is an empty chair beside Georgia".

The table consisted of Lucy, Leah, Keira, Georgia, Rachel, Millie the brick wall Bright, Jordan, Mary and Beth Mead.

Deciding not to be rude I said "Yeah sure", with probably the shakiest voice for the 100th times today. I walked over and sat beside Georgia

Then I felt as I was being watch, I looked every one of them in the eye and I asked if something was wrong.

Lucy for the second time today asked "Are you ok y/nn, all of us are pretty worried about you". Beth said "Yeah, the whole team are and we want to know what's been up with you?, what did Sarina want to talk to you about?.

Leah being the skipper she is, saw you felt a bit overwhelmed with all the questions, "Relax, one question at a time" she said with a soft smile on her face.

I want to open up I thought, but at the same thing I don't.. why does it have to be so hard? Am I going to get judged, I know what Sarina told me but still".

"Babe" Lucy said "What is going on in that pretty mind of yours?".

I felt tears starting to drop and my hands shaking on the table while my foot was bouncing like crazy. When I felt Georgia's hand on my shoulder pulling me in for a side hug I lost it.

"I have social anxiety, i have been diagnosed with it for a few months. Only Jonas and Sarina know. I take medications for it, Sarina know that something has been up with me so she asked me if some of you knew, if I took my meds today, which I forgot so I needed to take them with her.".....

It got quiet for a second and I thought I was going to die for a minute, but Lucy walked over and gave me a hug from behind.

"Why did you not tell us?" Keira asked,

"I am really sorry about that, I felt ashamed. Embarrassed for needing to take meds and not being a fully functional human being. I am not normal, I was afraid of getting treated differently"...

"And that you would secretly judge me" I said in a very low voice but the girls heard.

Millie said to me sternly "You are the best human being a person could ask for, we would never judge you ever. We only want to help, we had our suspicions about it because we saw the signs".

Rachel jumped also in and said "We've got your back babe, you are perfect the way you are, no need to be ashamed of a diagnosis that is not your fault.

Mary being the angel she is said "I kind of know how you feel, when I was at my lowest a few years ago it was hell. but I had the best people who helped me through it and now we want to be the people to help you!"

Gosh how I love all of them, they are so supporting and caring but I was still very scared because I have not told them about my nightmares and panic attacks yet.

Lucy or my so called mum asked because she knows me through and through "Is there something more you want to tell us"

"Yes, but please don't be mad", you said in a begging voice.

"Of course we won't me mad love" Keira said in a reassuring tone.

"The nightmares and panic attacks has come back and it is worse now than ever. I had a nightmare last night, that is why I could not sleep. And I have been heavily struggled with panic attacks and nightmare for a long time, because of my anxiety. A few hours before we travelled to England camp yesterday I had the worst panic attack ever. I got it under control eventually by myself after maybe an hour, but felt uneasy for the rest of the day"

"It is ok not to be ok, but this is serious, we all care and want to help you. It sucks that you have felt this way y/nn" Jordan said with the biggest smile, it looked sad but kind.

"I am really sorry about not telling, but I promise I will be more open but you need to understand it is very difficult for me" I said, "And I am sorry mom, it is not your fault. I know you were asleep when I had the nightmare but I could not bear myself to wake you, I felt embarrassed" I said to Lucy.

Lucy´s pov

"And I am sorry mom, it is not your fault. I know you were asleep when I had the nightmare but I could not bear myself to wake you, I felt embarrassed"

Hearing those words come out of my daughter´s mouth broke me. I tried not to let tears fall but it was impossible now. I am her biggest supporter and I always will be. I just want her to know that

"You are amazing, brilliant, caring, loving and all other kind words I could say! I love you so much my babygirl."

Reader´s pov again

"I love you to mom". I said to Lucy.

Leah said sternly to me "You need to go see a therapist, when we come back at arsenal again we will go twice a week and I will go with you then me, Beth and Jordan can switch who would go with you"

"Seriously?" I groaned.

"Yes", they all said sternly in sync.

"Okay then, but Leah, you, Beth, and Jordan don't need to go with me"

"But we want to" the three of them said gladly.

"Thank you" I said looking down...

"Come here y/nn" Georgia said pulling me in for a hug, I love Georgias hugs.

Every one of the girls gave me a bear crushing hug telling me

"We will always be here for you babe, just call or text or do anything. And we will be there in an eye blink for you! We are so glad you told us, now we just need to tell the others."

"Could we please do it later?" I asked nervously...

"Of course" Rachel said.

"When we are back at arsenal we gotta tell our arsenal teammates too" Beth said.

"I know I know..." I said.

"I will always support you kid, I love you so much and I will always do. You are literally my kid just not official. I would love to be your official mom tho, if you'd have me?" Lucy asked.

I looked at her in utterly shock, and the other girls looked at us in awe.

"Are you serious, please be serious?" I asked with my mouth hanging open.

"Of course, as I said I love you like my own family". Lucy told me with tears

I said loudly "Yes, of course I would want you to adopt me, it kind of feel like you already have tho but still omg".

I started crying again but this time happy tears, while I gave my mom a big hug the girls took a photo of us and gave us a hug.

The perfect group hug.

Little did y/n know that Sarina stood outside watching everything that just had happen, you telling the others about your struggles and Lucy confessing how she feel about you.

Sarina really felt like a proud mom now.

"I am really the best momager ever" Sarina said walking away chuckling with the most heartwarming smile on her face ever.

[mango-bango-bby]

Hello! I have a platonic yandere Miguel request!

So platonic yandere Miguel with reader who’s been on a strawberry kick lately. Like they will just make strawberry things(ie cakes cupcakes smoothies milkshakes extra.) and will just eat them as a snack. Reader has gotten used to being kidnapped by him and just makes food for themselves like that. He notices and is like: is this healthy? And asks Lyla if it is and stuff.

I’ve been on a strawberry kick for the past few weeks so yeah. Thank you so much! Have a good day/night/morning/evening!

♡ Strawberry ♡

Content Warning ⚠️: Yandere, platonic yandere, dad!Miguel, teen!reader, mentions of possible kidnapping, Lyla messing with Miguel, I didn’t proofread this 💪

Summary: Your father is concerned for your health because you seemingly only eat strawberries (Platonic!Yan!Miguel O’Hara x GN!teen!reader)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You only ate strawberries. Every single day, all day. You had strawberries in your oatmeal for breakfast. You would have a salad with strawberries in it for lunch. You’d have strawberries with your dinner. And then you’d end the day with strawberry ice cream. It was almost all you ate and of course Miguel took notice of this.

He didn’t mind but the amount of strawberries you ate per day could not be healthy. Even if you wanted a snack, it would always be strawberries. He wants you to be healthy. And yet you’re so sarcastic with him, yet you’re teenager so he guesses that’s what happens.

“Is that even healthy?” he asked one day, watching your eyes focused on the TV in front of you. You hummed, taking a bite out of one of the strawberries you were eating as a snack.

“Hmm, strawberries are fruit. Fruit are healthy. Maybe you should try it sometime” you say, sitting in the couch, not taking your eyes off of the TV. You even had a bowl of strawberries in your lap, snacking on them. It’s like you’re being frustrating on purpose sometimes.

He let it go but he still couldn’t help but be worried for you. He wants you to be healthy, he looks after you. He is your father, even if you refuse to call him that. He’s supposed to protect you. And that also means he’s supposed to make sure you’re healthy and safe.

Miguel stands in HQ, looking over his monitors. But he can’t focus. “Lyla?” He asks, her immediately appearing in a flash of peach and pink. “What?” She asks, she can see he’s frustrated. But he’s always frustrated so it didn’t bother her much.

“Are strawberries healthy in a large amount? What the limit per day to still be healthy?” He asks, immediately hearing her start teasing him. The hologram can’t help but snicker. “Why? You eating to many?” She laughs out loud but Miguel only huffs at her. “It’s not me, now answer my question” He scowls, seeing her adjust her heart sunglasses as she realized

“Oh-” She mumbles in realization, immediately smirking at him. “It’s that kid you stole, huh? I’m right, aren’t I?” She smirks, squinting at his reaction. She chucked at him once again “You worried about them?” She coos, pouting to tease him,

Miguel rolls his eyes at her. “I didn’t steal them, I saved them. Answer my question” He practically growls, she sighs dramatically as she finally caves. She pulls up a small hologram monitor, looking over it as she reads.

“They should be fine. It should be healthy. It’s recommended only eight strawberries a day though” She says, her eyes focused as she reads the screen. Miguel murmurs something, nodding his head.

Well, you’re definitely eating more than eight. He’s going to have to cut down how many you’re allowed. Although you’re definitely not going to be happy about that. But he’s your father and it’s his job to keep you safe and happy.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Thank you for reading, darling!!

(A/N: I wrote more Miguel for you all, I’m on a Miguel kick, like I can’t stop writing him!! So I hope you guys like Miguel O’Hara because I’m writing a lot of him run 😭😭 I thought this idea was so cute, plus I liked writing Lyla, she’s so fun to write. I definitely think her and reader would be friends 🫶)

Masterlist ➸ ♡

[the-hinky-panda]

Out of the Woods Series: Part I

Title: Out of the Woods Series

Pairing: Mitch Keller x OFC Reader (Sadie Maxwell)

Rating: Explicit

Summary: An old friend of Mitch's is in need of some help and Dwight seems to be the guy to do it.

Dwight has passed by Trudy’s Diner multiple times but never stopped into the place. It sits on Route 66, about ten minutes east of the Mayo hotel. It looks like a tourist trap; the stereotypical fifties diner with neon signs, red vinyl booths, and black and white tiled floor. The waitresses’ uniforms are shirtwaist dresses and colored flats, like what his mother used to wear when he was a little kid in Brooklyn. It’s loud, bustling, and old-fashioned in a shiny way. Even though the waitresses are sporting bobs and high ponytails, they’re carrying tablets in the pockets of their full skirts. 

He follows Mitch to a corner booth where he and Tyson settle into place while Mitch asks for you. The perky blonde waitress says that you’ll be right out and breakfast is on the house for everyone. Now that he’s in the actual place, he has to admit the blending of old and new is quite seamless. There’s free wifi, which Tyson is happy about and the coffee smells strong and fresh, which he is happy about. Every surface is spit polished and all the uniforms are pristine. It’s the sign of a detailed business owner. 

When you arrive at the table, he’s not surprised at how young you look, or that your outfit is also classic fifties but with high waisted pants and tucked-in blouse. You’re pretty, professional but that’s not surprising. He is surprised at how Mitch looks at you, like you’ve hung the moon and stars. Now he knows why Mitch wants his help with your situation, whatever that may be. But you return the look as well. There’s a warmth in the way you greet Mitch, lingering touches and choosing to sit next to him in the booth. Old friends, sure. 

“I really appreciate you coming to meet me, Mr. Manfredi.” 

“Dwight, please.” He shakes your hand and it’s a firm, solid grip. Another good sign. “Mitch tells me you have an issue that you need some help with.” 

You fold your hands on top of the table. “It’s a multistep solution to a large problem but I’m not exactly sure which step you would be able to help with.” 

“Well, let’s go through those steps and find out where I may be able to help.” 

Plates of food arrive before you’re able to get into the nature of the problem. Eggs, hashbrowns, sausages, bacon, and something he’s never seen before. It looks like finely ground oatmeal but there’s a large pad of butter melting into it. 

“What is that?” he asks. 

“Those are grits,” you answer. 

Tyson is shaking his head. “My mama would be so disappointed in you right now.” 

“I think we’re all a little disappointed right now,” Mitch adds. 

“Well excuse me for being out of circulation when it comes to fine dining.” 

You put a healthy spoonful of them on his plate and hand him the salt. “It’s ground up corn, so very good with salt and butter.” 

“What are you trying to do,” Mitch nudges you, “give him a heart attack?” 

“Oh what,” you counter, “like you’re running a health spa over at the Buck?” 

“You keep this up, he’s not going to help you.” Mitch gives you a crooked smile. “Your ornery is showing.” 

You give Dwight an apologetic look but he raises his hand. “I actually quite enjoy this kind of ornery. Makes me feel like I’m back home, sitting around the kitchen table with my family.” He’s quiet for a moment, remembering those times with his mother and father speaking rapid fire Italian, thinking he and his siblings couldn’t understand what was being said. His brother poking his sister under the table with a fork and Dwight doing the same thing to him but with a knife. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a good time at a dining table.” 

Your problem is precisely as you explained it: it’s large but with a multi-step process. The problem is your husband of almost ten years won’t sign the divorce papers. You’ve been living in your own one-bedroom apartment, running the diner, earning your own money. You are, for all intents and purposes, independent from him. The catch happens to be who he is, or rather who his father is. Your father-in-law is filthy rich, first in oil and then in the medical marajana business. Your husband has been put in charge of two dispensaries but because of his own drug, gambling, and frequent need for out call massages, the business isn’t doing well. Your diner, a business that doesn’t remotely interest Cal Thresher Senior or Junior, is making twice what both pot stores are making. 

Dwight leans back against the booth. “So you want a divorce from this jack-off and he’s not giving it to you because you’re worth more than him.” 

“And daddy is pulling the strings,” you add. “And by strings, I mean he has the best lawyers in the midwest working for him. So even if I do get Junior to sign the divorce settlement, I’m going to be left with nothing.” 

“Not to be unkind but it sounds like nothing would be something if it gets you out of the marriage.” 

Mitch picks up his coffee cup. “That brings us to why you’re gonna want to help her.” 

You sigh and glance around to make sure no one is listening in on the conversation. “My father has a business and he’s struggling to keep the doors open. I’ve been helping when I can but my finances get monitored too closely for me to do much. He was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago and the medical bills are killing him just as fast as the cancer. I want the divorce, but I want to leave with enough money to save his business.” 

“And I’m supposed to care about his business, why?” Dwight asks. 

You give him a slight smile. “It’s a gun shop.” 

[lurkingshan]

The Ride or Die Drama Couples List

So the other night I got a little sassy on main because some of the girlies were complaining that King the Land is focusing more on the couple moments (aka relationship development) between Gu Won and Sa Rang and doesn’t have enough plot. Which is a very typical fandom complaint about romcoms that I absolutely hate, because in a good romance the relationship is the plot, people! It’s bizarre attitudes like this that get us random murder plots spliced into every other romcom for the ratings, and I am begging y’all to stop the madness. 

Ahem. Anyway, that post seemed to resonate with some folks and get them discussing other dramas, and so inevitably @troubled-mind wandered into my notes and said gee Shan, it seems like maybe you should make a list of dramas that show us couples in a relationship and explore how they make it work and ultimately stay together. And I’ve warned y’all before, if you make a stray comment in my direction there will be a list coming your way. So here I am again, doing the absolute most.

Today I present to you a list of my favorite dramas that show you not only how the couple gets together, but also how they stay together. Criteria:

The couple doesn’t have to be together when the drama starts, but they do have to actually begin their romantic relationship no later than halfway through the drama’s run so that we have substantial time with them as a couple

The relationship development between the couple is a primary plot driver (so no dramas where there’s a great long term couple just hanging out in the background)

The relationship story may include some physical separation or even a temporary breakup, but not the betrayal kind–these are the sort that actually force an unaddressed issue to the surface and ultimately bring the couple even closer 

Happy endings only, these pairs are sticking together 

Ride or Die Drama Couples

Bad Buddy - Pat and Pran

(Thailand, YouTube)

This is tumblr so do I really need to tell y’all about Pat and Pran? There is a reason we all lost our minds over this show and it’s because we got to be in this relationship with them so intensely and see them fight to stay together despite it all. Their ending is bittersweet because of their families, but the show leaves us no doubt that they both think the other is worth it and they will always stick it out together. 

Dark Blue Kiss - Pete and Kao

(Thailand, YouTube)

Shout out to the OGs! Pete and Kao originally got together in the Kiss series (you can watch it, but you really don’t have to, fam) and Dark Blue Kiss brings them back three years into their long-term relationship to give us a peek into their struggles with the closet and the toll it takes on both of them individually as well as the strain it puts on their relationship. 

Flower of Evil - Hee Sung and Ji Won

(S Korea, Netflix or Viki)

Hee Sung and Ji Won are already married (with an adorable daughter) when this drama begins, and the backstory of their relationship is unspooled alongside the larger mystery at the heart of the show. One of the most fascinating and heart wrenching love stories I have ever seen, centered on a character who is so emotionally damaged that he genuinely believes he is incapable of love even as love pours out of him. Damn, I’m gonna make myself cry into my oatmeal.

It’s Okay, That’s Love - Jae Yeol and Hae Soo

(S Korea, Viki)

Speaking of crying, lord. Ahhhhhhh. Let me pull myself together. It’s Okay, That’s Love is a healing drama about two people who fall in love and support each other through serious mental health challenges. I don’t really want to say much more than that. Bring tissues, besties!

La Pluie - Patts and Saengtai

(Thailand, iQIYI)

My beloved! This Thai drama is about a pair of soulmates–or are they–who find each other and try to make their relationship work. That’s it, that’s the show. In this drama, the relationship truly is the plot, despite some of the fantasy elements being used to highlight its themes. La Pluie is about the importance of choice and a rebuke of romantic fantasies that fate and destiny will handle your love life for you. I and many others have written about it extensively, so if you decide to watch, you can go nuts on meta. 

Lighter & Princess - Li Xun and Zhu Yun

(China, Viki)

I really love this show. This is a long format drama so there will be longer stretches where the couple still has not officially gotten together, but the relationship between them is the heart of the entire show, and we get the distinct pleasure of watching them fall in love twice, and the second time figure out how to make it stick. Such a treat.

One Spring Night - Ji Ho and Jung In

(S Korea, Netflix)

Oh how I love this quiet little drama about two people who fall for each other while one is still in a relationship with someone else, and figure out how to untangle the mess they’re in. We get to see them not only fall in love, but figure out how to become a unit who can withstand the harsh judgment coming their way and become a family on their own terms. Bonus adorable child alert!

Tomorrow With You - So Joon and Ma Rin

(S Korea, Viki)

This time travel melodrama is one of those that I started with no expectations and then sat up part way through and said what gave you the right to be this good! This is another one where the relationship begins for dubious reasons, but the suspect motives are quickly taken over by genuine feeling. We really get to live with the relationship in this one and the message is all about treasuring the life and time we have together. 

The Rebel Princess - Awu (Wang Xuan) and Xiao Qi

(China, Viki)

I think the phrase Ride or Die was actually invented for them. Talk about a power couple. Once these two get to know each other (this is a historical so as per usual, their marriage wasn’t actually their choice but rather the result of some asshole’s machinations in a quest for power, joke’s on them though) they are in, baby, and their devotion and loyalty never wavers. This is a historical epic in war time, so the couple will be physically separated multiple times, but it only makes them stronger and each of their reunions sweeter. Their relationship is the heart of the show and the throughline in their chaotic lives.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? - Shiro and Kenji

(Japan, the ether)

Saving the best for last because this right here is the GOAT in this category. It sits at the top of my all-time favorite dramas list and I love it passionately. Because y’all? This drama is explicitly about a middle-aged couple learning how to be together in a long-term relationship. That is the entire plot. And it’s fantastic. Stop reading this and go watch it!

Honorable Mentions

Yumi’s Cells - Yu Mi and Goo Wong 

(S Korea, Viki)

This one is not on the list proper because (gasp) the couple doesn’t end up together. I know, I’m still sad about it, too, even though I went into this drama fully aware of the concept (a season about each of Yu Mi’s major relationships). But man. Yu Mi and Goo Wong just have that something, you know? Even knowing they don’t stick it out, it’s a delight to watch them fall in love and settle into a relationship together. Technically there is a second season featuring Yu Mi’s next relationship (Babi? I don’t know her), but I don’t want to recommend it and you can’t make me.

I must also give a shout out to the bl season 2s that exist expressly for the purpose of showing how the characters settle into a relationship after the first season get together:

Gameboys 2 (Philippines, Gaga) - Cairo and Gavreel

Minato’s Laundromat 2 (Japan, Gaga)- Shin and Minato 

SOTUS S and Our Skyy (Thailand, YouTube) - Kongpob and Arthit

Still 2gether (Thailand, YouTube) - Tine and Sarawat

Utsukushii Kare 2 (Japan, Gaga) - Hira and Kiyoi

And because this is my post and I make the rules, I am also doing some honorable mentions of the friends to lovers slow burns where technically they are not together until the final arc of the story but let’s be serious they are together the whole time and just don’t realize it yet so you know exactly what their relationship is going to look like:

Fight for My Way (S Korea, Viki) - Dong Man and Ae Ra

Happiness (S Korea, Viki) - Sae Bom and Yi Hyun

Hospital Playlist 1 and 2 (S Korea, Viki) - Song Hwa and Ik Jun

My Only 12% (Thailand, iQIYI) - Seeiw and Cake

My Ride (Thailand, Gaga or YouTube) - Mork and Tawan 

Romance is a Bonus Book (S Korea, Netflix) - Dan Yi and Eun Ho

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo (S Korea, Viki) - Joon Hyeong and Bok Joo

Whoops you woke the beast @troubled-mind. @rocketturtle4 @neuroticbookworm @chickenstrangers here are more for your mile long rec lists. :)))

[what-even-is-thiss]

i've been reading some of your arguments for why you wouldn't be vegan and just wanted to point out that you have a lot of fallacy in your arguments. might want to do a look in there to make sure you are stating your morals/prose properly, and aren't using any arguments that can be easy to shutdown. appeal to tradition. appeal to futility and the argument that personal pleasure(taste etc) allows us to do what we want to others without consent to their bodies is a moral issue i don't think you align with but i could be mistaken. a lot of people who enjoy sex don't rape for example.

i also liked the taste of animal flesh and organs but realized my personal pleasure i got from consuming them pales when it is placed against the value of someone's life and what they have to endure for me to get that on my plate, it's easy to have a disconnect when you don't know. health, animals, earth all benefit from a plant based diet. a plant based diet can feed more people for cheaper, helping to end hunger.

you can say you cook "more vegetarian" but i implore you to continue your growth and align your actions with your morals and continue to strive for a plant based diet in the future. you don't seem like a cruel person but i could be wrong. i've been vegan for 15 years and i cook so many amazing meals and can tell you from experience you don't have to limit yourself to oatmeal. if you have time to watch/listen id implore you to check out gary yourofsky "the most important speech you will ever hear"

good luck to you on aligning your moral values with the actions you take daily/what you pay for.

Okay. Do you say these same things to vegans that wear cotton? That also kills a lot of animals. Like a lot of them. It hurts entire ecosystems.

There’s no way to buy stuff in our current economy that doesn’t hurt somebody or something. I know how to cook tasty and cheap and mostly healthy meals for myself and the easiest way to do that is with pre-cut veggies, eggs, and the occasional poultry.

Yeah I’m wasting plastic. Yeah I’m eating animals. Vegans eat almonds and quinoa. Those are bad farmed at an industrial scale.

Being an omnivore is natural and I don’t feel bad about it. If you look me in the eyes and ask me if I could kill a chicken the answer is yes. I’ve done extensive research on how to do it safely, actually. If the apocalypse comes I’m raising hens for meat.

Also comparing animal agriculture to rape? Couldn’t find literally anything else to compare it to? Really?

[howtocareforbunnyboys]

"Formula" baby food for ARFID age regressors 🍼🥤

I'll make a better post with progress pics next time I make some, but I wanted to post about it quickly, since it was such a success.

My small (@bunnnybcy ) has ARFID, which makes it very difficult for him to get much nutrition, and I'm always trying things to make health accessible to him. One way to make "scary" foods accessible is to make them cute or baby-like. This recipe is sort of a "base model," a warm and sweet treat that can be altered later to increase their fruit & whole grain consumption.

Equipment you'll need:

Saucepan

Stirrer

Measuring cups

Stove or hotpad

Blender

Sippy cup or reusable pouches (Link to reusable pouch example)

Refrigerator for storage

Sweet Cinnamon Formula Recipe 😋

Ingredients:

1 cup + 1 cup milk or plant milk of choice (we used vanilla soy milk) 🥛

1/2 cup plain rolled oats 🥣

1 tsp dark brown sugar, or to taste*

1 tsp honey, or to taste 🍯

Cinnamon, to taste

Vanilla extract, to taste

Steps:

🥛 Heat the first cup of milk in your saucepan on the stove. Turn the heat up to medium, or medium-high if you're impatient.

🍯 Stir in the brown sugar and honey, and continue to stir frequently until the milk starts to lightly boil.

🥣 Stir in the 1/2 cup of rolled oats, and turn down the heat to medium, if it isn't already there.

🥄 Stir frequently until the liquid is mostly absorbed, about 5-8 minutes. (The longer you cook it, the smoother your end product will be, which is important for ARFID smalls.)

🆒️ Take off the heat, and let cool for a bit, until you're confident that it won't melt your blender lol.

Pour the oatmeal into your blender, add 1/4 cup milk🥛, and blend until smooth. Check the consistency, and continue adding milk in 1/4 cup amounts until your small approves of the texture. This would also be a convenient time to add more cinnamon, vanilla, honey🍯, or sugar, if they feel the taste is lacking.

Pour into pouches or sippy cups.

You can store leftover formula in the fridge for 3-5 days.

Other formula flavor ideas:

Strawberry 🍓

Banana🍌

Blueberry 🫐

Peach 🍑

Chocolate 🍫

Peanut butter 🥜

Apple pie 🍎

Pumpkin pie 🥧

Sweet potato 🍠

Notes for other carers of little ones with ARFID:

If your small one will tolerate it, adding nuts or seeds during step 1 will yield a more nutritious result, but some may not blend down. Chia seeds, for example, will remain visible and will feel like poppyseeds, which may be off-putting to someone with ARFID, even though they don't taste like anything.

Always remember to introduce new tastes and textures slowly, and allow them to try a new thing multiple times on different days if they're unsure about it. Unsure may just mean unfamiliar, and it'll take them a number of attempts to acquire a taste for it. Uncertainty is a good sign of a future "yes", but don't push them to finish a serving of something they're on the fence about; the pressure may turn it into a "no". Instead, give them the option of putting the rest away for later, and after some time, when they're ready, encourage them to try it again.

[lee-laurent]

The Past - John Marino

Summary: The timeline of John and Tori's relationship

notes: This is like a prequel to 'Done Trying!' You don't have to read this part, but it gives background on John and Tori's relationship. How they got to where they are in the fic now. The part after this will be a continuation of 'Done Trying' so look for that in the next few days. Also, I do not want to hear any negative criticism about how I've written her depression. I have depression myself and this is how it manifests for me. It's different for everyone, so I don't want to see any hate. Your experience may be different than mine, but every mental health experience is valid.

content: angst, fluff, unplanned pregnancy, break ups, anxiety issues, arguments, birth (not super graphic), mentions of sex but no actual smut, depressive episode, body image issues, mentions of abortion

2019

Tori wasn't drunk by any means, just a bit tipsy. Her fake ID had worked and she was enjoying her night out with her friends. The bar wasn't particularly busy, but the girls were managing to make it feel like a party.

The group of girls all turned to look at the door as a group of rowdy men entered. They were all cheering loudly and patting each other on the back.

"Was there a hockey game tonight?" one of Tori's friends asked.

"I think so," she shrugged, downing the rest of her rum and coke. "I'm going to get another one."

"We'll be here!" one of the other girls giggled.

"Hi, could I have another rum and coke, please?" she grinned at the bartender.

"Sure thing," the man returned with the drink a few minutes later, placing it in front of her, "That'll be 6 dollars."

She reached into her back pocket, when a voice beside her stopped her, "I've got it."

She turned, looking at the man next to her. He was significantly taller than her five foot frame, with tan skin and unruly, dark curls he brushed from his eyes.

"Oh! Thank you," she grinned, taking her drink from the counter.

"I'm John."

"Tori."

"You come here often? Sorry, I know that's cliche as fuck."

"Ha! No worries, my friends and I come here some weeks. It seems your group of friends is making it a bit more lively."

"Hope we're not interrupting your night."

"Not at all. We were the only ones making noise before you guys showed up. You from around here?"

"I'm from Massachusetts. But I moved here for work. You?"

"Pittsburgh born and raised," she smiled, raising her glass up before taking a sip.

The couple continued talking for the rest of the night. Tori wasn't the hookup type though, so instead of going home with him, she gave him her number. Leading to a long line of dates, until he finally asked her out officially.

2020

The world had locked down. No more hockey. No more school. No more work. Tori had subsequently moved into John's apartment so that they would be able to spend time together during the pandemic.

"What're you making?" John asked, wrapping his arms around Tori's waist, tucking his face in the crook of her neck.

"Oatmeal cookies."

"Smells good, baby."

"How was your nap?"

"Relaxing. Would've been better if you were there."

"You know naps make me feel like shit."

"I know... but the bed feels so empty without you."

"God, you're cheesy," she grinned, lifting her hand up to run through his mop of curls. "You want me to trim these?"

"Mmm, not today. I like them long. Why? Do you not like them?"

"I love your curls, Johnny. So sexy."

He grinned, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"I'm going to play 'chel with the boys. Call if you need anything."

She nodded, turning back to rolling the cookie dough into perfect balls. She'd taken up baking during the lockdown. John kept telling her he was going to be out of shape for the next season if she kept it up, but he continued to taste test everything for her nonetheless.

Another month into the lockdown and Tori wasn't herself. She wouldn't leave bed, she was taking naps, and John could barely get her to eat. She claimed she was fine, but he didn't believe her in the slightest.

"Come on, baby. I made mac and cheese, your favourite," he tempted, sitting on the bed and running a hand through her matted hair.

"Not hungry."

"You've gotta be hungry. You haven't eaten since yesterday morning. And all you had then was a couple crackers."

"I'm not hungry. Let me sleep."

"You've been sleeping all day. Can you get up and take a shower for me?"

"Too tired."

"Tori, baby..."

She just rolled over, hiding her face in the duvet. He sighed, leaving the bedroom and going to eat the food he'd made... why let it go to waste.

"How's Victoria doing, love?" John's mom asked through the phone, worry lacing her voice.

"I can't get her to do anything except sleep. I'm trying, Mom. She just..."

"Do you know if she has a history of depressive episodes?"

"Yeah, one when she was in high school. But she said she learned skills to cope."

"Just be there for her, John. That's all I can suggest."

"Thanks, Mom."

Two hours later, Tori emerged from the bedroom. She was wearing the same clothes she had been for days and her hair desperately needed a wash to rid it of grease.

"Hi, baby," John smiled softly.

"Hi. Will you come take a shower with me?" she whispered.

"Sure, but first can you just eat a few bites of the food I made?"

"I... I don't know."

"Please, Tori. Just so I know you're eating."

"Okay."

She sat on his lap, picking at the bowl of pasta in front of them.

"Five bites and we can take a shower."

"Okay."

It took her 20 minutes to take those five bites, but she did it. The couple stood under the hot water of the shower, embracing the time together outside of their room. John helped her wash her hair and brush out all the knots. She forgot how nice it felt to feel clean. She turned in his arms, squishing her face into his torso.

"I've got you, baby. I've always got you. I love you so much."

"I'm sorry, John," she sobbed, "I've been a terrible girlfriend."

"Shh, no you haven't. You're just struggling right now. It's okay. We'll get through his together."

"I love you. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I just want what's best for you. And rotting in bed isn't."

She leaned up and pressed a soft, loving kiss against his lips. When she went in for another one, he turned his head, her lips landing on his cheek.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry," she cried again.

"No, no. I just... I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you. I love you so much, but I can't... do anything until you're yourself again. Okay?"

"Okay."

The next day, John helped Tori find a therapist online. Even going as far as to join sessions to learn how he could help her to help herself.

2021

Now that lockdown restrictions had been lifted slightly, Tori was thriving. She was going on daily walks and working on new coping skills to use when she felt that numbness creeping back in.

John was back to playing hockey and finally their lives had back some normalcy. A normalcy that had formed itself into a very... intimate love life for the two. There didn't seem to be a day that the two weren't having sex. Tori was pretty sure roadies were the only days they weren't falling asleep naked.

It was amazing, until it all came crashing down at the end of December. Tori had been feeling like shit for almost a week now. She felt sluggish and the sent of John before he showered after practice had her sick to her stomach. The idea of being pregnant though wasn't even a thought that crossed her mind. She had an IUD. They were safe. Surely it couldn't be...

"Do you want me to pick up a test, just in case? I know you said it's like almost impossible," John asked as he walked to his car at the arena.

"Sure, if it'll make you feel better. Pick up two, just in case one is faulty."

"Sounds good, babe. Be home in 20. Love you."

"Love you too, Johnny."

The couple stood in the bathroom, re-reading the instructions for the tests.

"I think it's self explanatory, John."

"I just want to make sure you're doing it right!" he swatted her hand away as she tried to grab the paper from him.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes, sitting on the toilet with the stick.

"Yeah, just piss on it. Then we've gotta wait 5 minutes."

"Sounds good. You stayin' in here while I pee?" she giggled.

"I'll be right outside."

Peeing on the test was harder than she thought. It was like she couldn't get herself to pee, she was so nervous. After a couple minutes though, she'd put the caps back on and placed them on the counter.

"Come in, John. But I'm telling you, I'm not pregnant. Trusty old IUD keeps your sperm outta there."

"Maybe I've got really persistant sperm."

"I-" the timer rang. "You ready?"

"Yep."

At the same time, they flipped the tests, the plastic clattering against the sink as Tori dropped it.

"They- They must be faulty. False positive, right? Right, John?"

"I- is that a common occurance? I'll google it," he typed on his phone quickly, spelling half the words wrong, "There's less than a 1% chance of that, Tori."

"So? Maybe we're in that percentage. Did you even get good ones?"

"They were the most expensive ones! I just grabbed them!"

"They're wrong."

"Victoria..."

"Don't 'Victoria' me! They're wrong! I'm not pregnant! It's just a cold."

John rolled his eyes, "Can you at least go to the doctor? Get meds for your cold then."

"Fine! I'll make an appointment right now!"

"Perfect. I'm going to make dinner."

"I'm not pregnant," she whispered to herself as she typed in the number for her doctor.

"Is there any chance you're pregnant?" the doctor asked, staring into Tori's eyes.

"I have an IUD."

"I've seen it happen. Would you mind giving us a urine sample?"

Yay. Peeing into more things.

It didn't take long for the results to come back. The doctor entered the room holding a stack of paperwork.

"So, the urine sample came back positive for high levels of hCG. Which means you are pregnant."

"That's not possible."

"I know this is probably a lot to take in right now. I've written down some suggestions for a few OBs I reccomend. As well as some supplements we reccomend for the early stages of pregnancy. From the test, I'd say you're about three weeks."

"Shit. Um, sorry. Thank you. I'll, uh, call these numbers," Tori forced a smile, rushing off to get home.

"So? You are pregnant?" John asked, his eyebrow quirked.

"Yes. I just-"

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say, Tori? 'Yay! I'm so excited to be a dad at 24!' Cause that'd be a lie."

"Stop acting like this is all my fault!"

"I never said that! I just... we've never even talked about having kids! This is all very sudden."

"How do you think I feel?! I'm the pregnant one! Now I have to tell all my friends and family that I got knocked up at 22!" she threw her purse down on the counter.

"You told me the IUD would work fine."

"Why are you blaming me? God, John! Grow up!"

"I should grow up?! You're the one yelling at me!"

"You're fucking infuriating!" she shouted, stomping off to their room. The door shut with a harsh slam, making the pictures on the wall swing.

"Fuck me," John muttered, grasping at his hair.

John slept on the couch that night, not wanting to deal with being yelled at again.

"We should talk about this, Tori," he offered at breakfast.

"Why? I'll just get the pregnancy terminated. You don't it."

"Tori... can we think about this? Make a rational decision."

"Why? Is getting an abortion not rational?"

"Not what I said. I just think you're still angry about yesterday, so you're not think rationally. We need to make a decision together here."

She rolled her eyes, "You made it clear how you feel."

"Did I?"

"Yeah, I think your words were 'I'm not excited to be a dad at 24!' So, there's our answer. You won't have to be," she sassed.

"Victoria, sit down."

"You're not my fucking dad."

"Stop acting like a child! Sit down!"

John rarely yelled at Tori, so the tone of his voice had her sitting right back down.

"Thank you. Listen, I'm not thrilled to be a dad right now, but I'm not telling you to end the pregnancy. I- we can make this work. I want you to make the final decision, but I won't be leaving if you decide this is what we're doing. I love you. And I support whatever decision you make. I will love that baby unconditionally."

"I... I need time to think about everything," she nodded, her lips pursed.

"I understand. But I really don't want to continue this arguing. I want us to enjoy our trip to Massachusetts. Not dwell on this and see our family."

"Okay, I have another appointment in January. You can come... if you'd like. I don't want to tell our families yet."

"Of course... I love you."

She sighed, "I love you too. No more fighting?"

"No more fighting," he nodded.

2022

Tori knew that nobody in the waiting area was judging her, but she felt judged. Her leg was bouncing, her nerves getting the best of her. She was filling out the paperwork that they'd given her. John placed a comforting hand on her thigh, trying to calm her.

"They're removing the IUD today. I don't know if you wanna be in there when they do it."

"I'll stay for moral support."

"Are you sure?"

"Why not," he shrugged.

Tori opened her mouth to respond when her name was called.

"Is your boyfriend coming with us today?" the nurse smiled.

"Yes, if that's okay."

"No problem! The doctor will be right in. We're going to start with the IUD removal. So if you could just strip from the waist down, she can get started."

"Do you want me to turn around?" John asked, taking a seat on the chair in the corner.

"No? Nothing you haven't seen before."

She sat down, throwing the sheet they'd.given her over her legs.

"Nervous?"

"A bit. It hurt to get in. People say it's worse coming out."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Want me to hold your hand?"

"That'd be nice," she smiled.

There was a knock at the door, "We all ready in here?"

"Yep. Come in."

"Hi, Victoria! I'm Dr. Reese. It's nice to meet you!"

"Hi. This is my boyfriend, John."

"Nice to meet you as well! We're going to start with the IUD removal, then we can start chatting about baby. Sound good?"

"Yeah. Is it okay if John holds my hand?"

"Of course! Alright, scooch, scooch. Perfect. Take a deep breath for me."

Tori inhaled, squeezing John's hand. Her eyes screwed shut. A pained breath escaped her mouth. Even John squinted, watching as the doctor pulled on the little strings.

"And done!"

"Thank God," Tori whispered.

"I'll step out! You can throw your clothes back on and I'll be back in a minute with the ultrasound machine."

"You ready?" Tori asked John, buttoning up her jeans.

"Yeah," he shrugged, sitting back down.

John and Tori had discussed things the day before. They were keeping the baby. It was an emotional discussion. Talking about the logisitcs of the whole thing. Especially with her still in school and John playing hockey.

"Ready to see baby?" the doctor smiled brightly.

"Yeah."

"Mhm."

"Alright. I warmed up the gel, it shouldn't be too bad," Dr. Reese moved the wand over Tori's lower abdomen. "And here is baby."

It looked like a little blob, but it still made John's eyes water.

"So, you're about 6 weeks. Measurements look good. I'll want to see you again around 18-20 weeks. You can schedule that on your way out. Congratulations, again."

"You alright, babe?" Tori asked, noticing how quiet John had gotten.

"Hm, yeah. I just... I didn't think I'd be this emotional. Especially over what looks like an alien."

Tori laughed, "Don't call our baby an alien!"

"I'm sorry," he giggled, wiping his eyes, "But it does look a little like an alien."

"Okay... maybe just a little."

The couple left the doctors' office laughing quietly to themselves, their hands intertwined.

Six Months Pregnant - May 2022

It was three in the morning and Tori was sobbing, "You don't understand, John. We're out of pickles."

"I heard you. I just... I don't understand why you're crying."

"I need pickles, John," she cried.

"I- I don't know where to get you pickles at 3am. Everything is closed."

Tori pulled herself out of bed, storming into the kitchen. She dug through the fridge and freezer, trying to find anything that would help her cravings. She pulled a bowl of watermelon out of the fridge, digging in.

John sluggishly joined her in the kitchen, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll get you pickles in the morning."

She just nodded, taking another forkful of melon. It wasn't as fulfilling was a jar of mini dill pickles, but it was helping. She couldn't even count how many jars of pickles she'd gone through during her pregnancy, but this was the first time they'd been out. It felt like the end of the world to her pregnancy hormones.

John loved Tori to bits, but the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy was beginning to make him tired. He knew it wasn't fair and that she was going through much more, but lord was he exhausted.

"Do you want me to stay here? Or should I go back to bed?"

She shrugged, shovelling more food into her mouth. John sighed, coming around the counter. He placed a hand on her waist and one on her growing stomach.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Do you want to go back to bed?"

She hummed, taking one last bite. They shuffled back to the bedroom, Tori hugging onto her pregnancy pillow. John fucking hated the thing, but Tori couldn't sleep without it, so... he'd deal with it for the next three months.

August 2022

John had just been traded from Pittsburgh to New Jersey and now... it was time for their baby to enter the world.

"Ah!" Tori gripped her stomach. She was walking around the hospital room, waiting to be fully dilated. John was being supportive as possible, getting her more ice chips when requested and holding her hand when ever she felt a contraction. "Is it time yet?"

"The nurse said it could be a while, because it's your first."

"It's going to be our only. Holy shit! Why did you do this to me?"

John laughed, "I'm sorry, baby. You're the strongest woman I know. You've got this. Do you want to use the yoga ball again?"

"No! I just want the baby out of me!"

"And they said that the yoga ball will help that."

"Fine," she groaned, squatting down on the blue yoga ball. John smiled, watching as she bounced up and down, her cup of ice chips in her hand.

"They'll be back with the epidural soon. Then it'll be smooth sailing," he comforted.

10 hours later and she was finally pushing. She was squeezing John's hand so tight he thought it might break. But he tried to be supportive nonetheless.

"One more big push, Mama," the doctor smiled.

"I can't do it."

"You've got this, Tori," John whispered.

"I can't do it."

"Just one more push and our baby is here, love."

She braced, feeling the pressure one last time. She pushed and a wail filled the room.

"And here's baby boy."

"It's a boy?" John was smiling so wide, it hurt his cheeks.

"It is. Want to come cut the cord, Dad?"

He nodded excitedly, watching as they gave his son his first bath.

"Here you go, Mama," they placed the baby on her chest.

"Hi, baby," she was too tired to cry, but her son was so beautiful. He had a head of dark hair which explained the heartburn she'd had during the pregnancy.

"We'll be back in a bit to help you get him to latch. And then they'll be in with the name paperwork."

"Here," John smiled, unbuttoning part of her gown so she could do skin to skin.

"Riley."

"Hm?"

"Riley Alexander Marino."

"It's perfect, baby. Here, I'll hold him. You get some rest."

December 2022

Things were falling apart. The couple was arguing almost every day. Tori was struggling. She hated the way she looked and that feeling of numbness was starting to creep back in. But she wouldn't allow it, she needed to be there for Riley.

John was going through the hockey season and adjusting to a new team. He was barely home. And when he was, he was beyond tired. Not being much help at all. Night shifts were nonexisitant. It was always Tori getting up to get their son. John either "slept through it" or "was too tired from hockey."

Everything came crumbling down a week before Christmas.

"You're not any fucking help! Ever!" Tori yelled, throwing the burp cloth down on the counter. "I haven't left the apartment in days! I haven't been able to take a shower in days! All I do is take care of Riley!"

"Your his mom! Did you think you wouldn't have to take care of him?!"

"God! That's not what I meant and you KNOW it! Your his dad! When are you going to step up and actually do some fucking work?"

"I'm providing for us, Victoria! Would you rather I quit and we have no income?!"

"That's it. I'm leaving!"

"You're leaving?! Where are you going?"

"Anywhere that you aren't, John. I can't fucking deal with you right now. Call me when you've grown the fuck up and decide you actually want anything to do with your son," she stormed off to the bedroom, throwing things into a duffle bag.

"Victoria! You can't just leave! Talk to me!"

"I can leave! I can do whatever the fuck I want!"

"You- you can't just leave with Riley!"

"Sure, I can! Not like you parent him at all!"

"Victoria!"

"No! Fuck off!"

The screaming woke Riley from his nap and his wails soon filled the apartment as well.

"Great! Look what you've done!" John threw his hands up in frustration.

"What I did? You're so fucking immature. Stop acting like you're 12 and start acting like the 25-year-old you are!" Tori went to the nursery, grabbing some of Riley's things and putting them in the bag as well. She picked up her son, strapping him into his carrier. John was standing in the door, shell-shocked.

"Please, Tori. Just think about this. Please."

"No. I'll be back for more of our things in a couple days," she shook her head, leaving John all alone in the apartment.

March 2023

It was official. John and Victoria were done. Tori had gotten her own place and Riley went to see John every weekend. Slowly but surely, John and Tori were forming a friendship. They wanted things between them to be good for Riley.

And this friendship leads us to where we are now...

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Series Masterlist

*Click here to be added to taglists.

Chapter 7

Warnings: Reader’s poor mental health

You awoke to raised voices but found yourself alone, still in Daryl’s space. Wiping your eyes, you attempted to fight through the fog of sleep to hear what was happening somewhere in the cellblock. One of the voices was unmistakably Daryl. You could hear the anger but not the words. The second voice was also raised but not in anger. Feminine. Carol?

“I’ll handle it! Go cool off before you pull something!” 

Definitely Carol, her voice closer and words decipherable. You could hear her boots on the stairs just before her silver hair came into view. Well, at least you knew what they had been yelling about. Her stony expression softened over immediately when she raised her head to find you awake. 

“Good morning! How are you feeling?”

You eyed her suspiciously, fingers twisting and tugging at the blanket. You still weren’t sure about who to trust, what to believe. You couldn’t even trust Daryl, but why should you really? He purchased you. Even with his kind eyes and gentle touch, he was still a man. And men at the end of the world only wanted you for one thing. Still, you continued to find you wanted to trust him. 

“Hey.” Your eyes focused again on Carol, a little closer than she had been but now sitting on the floor, a bowl in her hands that you hadn’t noticed until then. “Where’d you go just now? You were a million miles away.” Your knees were dragged up against your chest, assuming the familiar position. You said nothing but watched the woman carefully. Her finger was tapping against her own knee as she studied you. “Let’s try a different approach, hmm?” She smiled at you and relaxed her posture. 

The bowl was gently slid across the floor, stopping just in front of you. It looked like oatmeal, with some berries of some sort on top. 

“Not a lot of fresh fruits available right now. Daryl brings in berries that are safe for us to eat when he goes out to hunt. Those are a little bitter but they make the plain oatmeal taste more like…well, something.”

You waited for a moment, eyes flickering back and forth between the offered food and the woman in front of you. You were hungry. Famished, actually. But she wasn’t Daryl. Could she even give you permission to eat? 

“What, um… what do you want me to do for it?” 

“Nothing. You don’t have to do anything special for your portion of the meals here. You may have chores later but not until you’re settled in and feel at least a little safer, okay?” 

“Did S—um, I mean, did he say I could eat?”

“Who? Daryl?” Her brow creased in confusion. “Why would—oh.” When understanding once again soothed her expression, that gentle smile she seemed to always present you was back. “I can promise you that Daryl will always want you to eat what is offered to you here. Always.”

You remained unconvinced. 

“If he or anyone else ever says you can’t eat, they’ll have to personally answer to me.” 

Your stomach chose that moment to sound off its displeasure at being left empty. With trembling fingers, you began to reach for the bowl, noting that Carol’s eyes remained on your face. The moment your fingertips brushed the edge, you snatched up the bowl and hid it between your knees and your body as if she would attempt to take it back. 

It was just plain, unsweetened oats, but the woman had been right. The berries did at least provide some flavor. Even if it didn’t, you were too hungry to care. Carol stayed but had averted her gaze to somewhere past the railing. 

“Why, um…why do you get to wear regular clothes?”

She seemed to contemplate your question before countering with one of her own. “Can you explain why you would ask that? Just so I understand. There is no consequence for asking questions.”

No consequence? Hell, you shouldn’t be speaking, let alone questioning. “Do you dance? Or are you one of the special ones that the men get to take in the back?” There was the briefest expression of disgust, but you caught it, even if she was quick to bury it. 

“The women here are not property. We are free and independent, equal with the men. I mean, I do need the occasional jar opened but otherwise, we do our part and live as we please.”

“The men don’t—Sir, I mean, Daryl doesn’t fuck you?”

Her eyes opened so wide that you thought they might evacuate her skull. “Oh god, no! That’d be… no, just no.” Carol eased a little closer and sat right back down, maintaining a comfortable distance between the two of you. “I know what Daryl took you out of. I can’t even begin to imagine the things that happened to you there. But here? These people? You don’t have to worry. No one is going to touch you without your consent. No one is expecting you to do anything like you were forced to do before. The men here will protect you, not hurt you.”

You narrowed your eyes skeptically while taking another small bite. 

“I know it will take some time to trust again, but it will come.” She watched you take the last bite, eyes following your trembling hand as you placed the bowl onto the floor beside you. “I’ll be with you as often as I can. You’re welcome to join me throughout the day.”

You didn’t answer, choosing to fiddle with the buttons on Daryl’s shirt instead. 

“You can sleep in my cell if you’d feel safer but Y/N,” she paused and waited until you finally met her gaze, “you need to give Daryl some space.”

“I…I, um… he…”

“I know what he did for you, but Daryl has his own demons. You don’t belong to him. You don’t belong to anyone.” How that woman could have such a conversation and remain so calm was beyond you. “You don’t have to accept that now. I know it can be hard to unlearn things that were beaten into you. I just ask that you try. That’s all. Just try. And if you forget, I’ll be here to remind you.” That smile again. 

You nodded, finding comfort in Carol’s gentle presence. You could feel the tendrils of fear receding into the dark crevices of your fractured mind. You still didn’t understand and you were still afraid, but you no longer felt paralyzed. 

“If I… I’d like to stay with you.” You shrank back a little, as if accepting what she offered would lead to some horrific punishment. “Please.”

“Of course.” Carol answered softly. She climbed to her feet and then held out her hand for you. “Why don’t you just stay with me today too, hmm? I’ll show you around and then we’ll fix things up on the cell later. Sound good?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Her hand was rough in places, calloused from years of work. A story she hadn’t shared with you yet but you found you were eager to hear it. 

Carol quickly tutted you with a laugh. “None of that. Call me Carol. Can I call you Y/N?” You gave her a small smile even as your shoulders drew up with anxiety at having offended her. She must have noticed because she turned to face you and requested you take a deep breath. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Everything is fine. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

And for the first time in a very, very long time, you actually felt it. 

Daryl observed you finally vacating his space, your hand in Carol’s as the two of you exited the prison. Though your apprehension was still quite perceivable, you were making an effort and that was truly all he could ask for at this point. He hadn’t been angry at finding you occupying his area. He was more overwhelmed by the grand propensity of helplessness as you continued to futilely seek comfort from him when he had none to offer you. 

It was better for you to be inducted into a normal way of life within the world as it was then. You had to learn to live again, to be your own person. There was no one better to help you than Carol. 

No longer tired, Daryl hefted his crossbow onto his shoulder and headed outside. The people could always use fresh meat, so it was only logical that he use the time to hunt. 

He could only hope that you would leave his thoughts long enough to get the job done safely. 

Taglist:

@royaltysuite @thegeorgiahuntsman @livingdeadblondequeen @deansapplepie @feral4daryl @walker-bait-1973 @lazyneonrabbitt @bizquake @littlelovingideas @ririi-3 @ankhmutes @blackvelveteen1339 @sokkasimp101 @lehhos @loganlostitall

[totaly-obsessed]

hey i couldn’t find a rules list of what to ask so feel free to ignore this if it’s outside your comfort zone!! could you do a mary x reader where an anniversary of reader losing someone (or just anything bad that could’ve happened if you don’t want to write about that) and they are feeling kinda numb and just need mary to comfort them, which of course she goes above and beyond to make them feel as loved and safe as possible

Anniversary

Mary Earps x reader request

-> Mary helps Reader get through the anniversary of her mother's death

-> Talk of death and grieving

-> I hope this is okay, @ anon!

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Mary knew that today would be hard. A heavy red ‘x’ in the calendar marks the day. It had been one year since your Mum had tragically passed. She had been healthy, some would even call her active or fit for her age. She had been fine – until she wasn’t. A stroke during which she fell down the stairs.

You were the one to find her – picking her up for your usual Saturday stroll around the market in the town square.

It wasn’t even needed to step in – she was just lying there in the middle of the hallway when you opened the front door. Shocked you called an ambulance after checking for breathing. There was none, also no heartbeat. She was cold, her skin a pale blueish color.

You still couldn’t get the picture out of your head.

It had been a hard year. The middle of November, being very close to Christmas, meant that the first holiday without her came fast. Your birthday was just as hard – a usually loved day by you, passing like any other.

But today marked one year without her. And while you thought of her every day, today was especially hard. Mary knew that you would put on a brave face, trying to force yourself through the day – but she wouldn’t allow you to do that, knowing that you would hate yourself for it later.

She truly was a saint. Mary – your Mary. The goalkeeper had been your rock through the incredibly tough grieving process. She never got frustrated with your way of coping but she tried to help you do it in a healthy way instead of ignoring your own health.

Your girlfriend had taken the day off from training, even though you had told her not to. She wanted to be there for you – she needed to be.

Working in a good environment meant that your boss insisted that you had some time off, ignoring your pleas to let you work.

The morning was weird. While Mary was usually the first one up and starting the day, she couldn’t find you anywhere – your side of the bed was already cold. But it didn’t take the blonde long to find you on the couch. You weren’t doing anything, you just sat there, staring at a dark TV.

A gentle kiss to your forehead ripped you out of your daze. “Good morning my love, let’s make some breakfast, huh?” She pulled you up by your hands as gently as she could, nudging you into the kitchen. Mary handed you an assortment of fruits, gesturing for you to wash and cut them, while she made pancakes.

Your Mum’s favorite breakfast.

After your very controlling dad had left the family when you were younger, your mother enjoyed her newfound freedom and meal choices, opting for pancakes with tonnes of sirup and fruits every Sunday. It had become your little tradition over the years, and Mary understood that. She understood that it was your thing so she usually made oatmeal for breakfast.

But today was different. Today was already emotional and in honor of your mother and her rituals, she made pancakes – even using the recipe that your mum had given her when you started dating. It brought tears to your eyes, seeing your favorite football player taking such care of you.

Breakfast was spent in silence but you could feel her concerned eyes burning a hole into your head. You knew that she was just concerned, but it was still unnerving, being watched like this. There was barely a dent in your pancakes but Mary coaxed you into eating a little more – rewarding every bite with a gentle kiss to the side of your head.

Usually joined showers were giggly with Mary spraying water into your mouth whenever you wanted to speak, making her laugh so hard that she could barely breathe while you pouted, trying to get all the shampoo out of your hair. But as with many things, today was different. Your girlfriend took her time, gently massaging your head as you stood in the water stream with closed eyes. It was as if your body was there, but your mind was not – it complied with moving however Mary wanted you to, but you didn’t really notice anything.

By noon both of you were dressed in warm clothes, ready to go on a walk that would ultimately lead you to the cemetery your mother was buried in. You stood on the porch for a second, waiting for Mary to join you when a bouquet was extended towards you. “Oh Mary….”

She could see the thankfulness in your eyes as they teared up once again, struggling to get the words out. “They were her favorite.” She had remembered how you insisted on getting Asters instead of Lillies for the funeral because your mom loved them so much – so here she was, with a pretty blue and purple Aster bouquet.

Quiet conversation occupied most of the walk, Mary telling you a story of something that had happened at an England camp not so long ago to lift the spirit when you got closer and closer to your destination.

The gates of the Manchester southern cemetery seemed daunting as you stood in front of them. “When do you want me to join you?” A couple of weeks ago, when you were still able to cope, Mary made a deal with you – you would enter alone, do your thing, and after that, she would join you. “Maybe ten minutes?” With a soft kiss and a squeeze of your gloved hands, she lets you go – flowers in hand.

Ten cold minutes later, your girlfriend started her walk to your mother’s grave, finding you kneeling in front of it. With gentle hands she helped you up, dusting off some loose stones from your hands.

While this wasn’t the first time being here, as you took care of the grave every two weeks, it was very different. It was like you could feel your mother watching over you as you cried.

“M’sorry baby, I can’t stay.” Your girlfriend understood as you left her standing, making your way back to the gate.

It took her a couple of minutes to gather the courage and sit down on the ground as she pulled out a little box out of her jacket pocket. “I’m gonna ask your daughter to marry me. I know I already asked you last year, but I figured I would just do it again. You mean everything to her and-“ Now she started to tear up as well, trying to be strong for you when she was sad as well, was hard. “And I just wanted to make sure, that you knew. I wanna ask her in March – she loves spring, you know?”

The footballer felt a little crazy talking to a grave – but she wanted to make sure that your mother was okay with the two of you marrying, even if she had given her (very happy) okay before she passed.

Walking back to your joined home was a slow process, stopping every now and then to hug Mary, who tried her best to wipe the never-ending tears that streamed down your face.

The rest of the day was spent in bed, watching you and your mother's favorite films, while Mary went above and beyond to make the day go by as well as possible but all you really needed was her and her cuddles.

[im-adrienne]

Let me yap about my IBD flare up for a second

We need to talk about our IBD flare ups more often especially how they make us feel, what we have to do when they happen, etc. It's imperative people know how awful it is. They're not just "a little bit of gas" or "just plain old constipation". IBD is a disability. Flare ups are fucking disabling.

This week I'm trying to heal from a flare up. My biggest weakness that brings them on is stress. There's always the possibility of one before/during/after my menstrual cycle. I have pain on my lower right side, hip area. That's where the cecum area is of the colon.

Other things that happen with my flare ups are: low grade fever, extreme fatigue, diarrhea to constipation (and reverse), flatulence, dry eyes, sore throat, dry mouth, lower back pain, bloating, and joint pain.

What do I do? Sleep, rest, lower stress levels, eat soft & vitamin C rich foods, abstain from strenuous exercise, do light stretching, take vitamins, take my meds, take pain relievers, take a non-stimulant softener when the constipation hits, and BREATHE.

Food-wise, I tend to go with things like soft rice, Del Monte peach cups (my favorite), oatmeal, shredded chicken soup (sometimes with cabbage & potatoes), mashed potatoes. Again, all soft and all cooked.

Something that I recommend yet many people are ashamed to talk about or even mention is monitoring one's poops. It is very beneficial to know what is going on with your colon and monitoring your BMs is a good way to do so. There are even apps you can use to keep track!

Just today I was able to discern that my colon is getting better by having monitored my bowel movements. The shape has improved and is starting to look normal!

Monitoring your health is so important...especially if you live in a country that doesn't give a shit if you're healthy or not and makes healthcare a luxury.