#OMG are people going to side with Maris?

[amtrak12]

Me last night: Okay so I've hit the dreaded Middle slog where I'm not eager and excited for the fic anymore because I've played through all my favorite scenes a million times in my head. But I haven't hit the 'omg no one's going to want to read this' spiraling fears yet, so we're still doing good! 💪

Me after writing two sentences today: 😬 Do you think people are going to actually like this fic????

[urmum-lovesme]

Angel Baby - Rafe Cameron x Kook!reader P2

pairing: Best Friend!Rafe Cameron x Kook!Best-Friend!reader

summary: Rafe and Reader have known each other since kindergarten, always side by side, the king and princess of Figure 8. So why now does he start feeling different towards her, when all she's ever been is his best friend?

a/n: omg omg part 2! I can't believe so many people actually read the first part that makes me so happy :D. Tensions start to unfold here... featuring Wheezie cause I missed her in the new season. May have snuck in bi!reader again, should I keep that? Thank you so so so much for all the love! and enjoy the next chpt. (pt3 may be in a few days)

warnings: mention of drugs, dismissive mother, Ward (he deserves his own warning)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n grumbled to herself as she pulled her glasses over her face getting into the back of the car seat, the setting sun too bright for her liking, the orange hue now covering Kildare. Head thumping steadily caused a dull pain behind her eyes, she rested her heavy head against the seat letting out a huff. Her parents, sitting at the front, looked back at her through the rear view mirror, her mother speaking up as her father pulled out of their drive, making way towards Tannyhill for the family's monthly dinner with the Cameron's.

“I don’t know why you go around acting like an alcoholic y/n.” She spoke dismissively, as she swiped the dark red lipstick across her lips, puckering her lips together before capping the make-up with a click. “I’m not an alcoholic mom” She groaned back, the woman’s voice irritating her, why hadn’t she listened to Rafe? “Well you act like one. There’s a limit,” the woman scoffed, unimpressed by her daughter's unladylike attitude.

“Drop it Marie.” Her fathers voice rose up from behind the steering wheel speaking to his wife, the consistent clicking of the indicator filling the tension of the car. “Can we just have a peaceful evening hmm? No dramatics in front of the Cameron’s.” He continued, Marie pursed her lips as she looked straight ahead, he gazed over at his daughter through the mirror once again,

“You got that princess?”

“Yep.” She spoke back, popping the ‘p’ as she closed her eyes trying to ignore the throbbing in her head before they got to the household.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafe was standing in his room, having just put on a new shirt after he had gotten out of the shower. He ran his fingers through his damp hair as he looked in the mirror, his thoughts filled with the family dinner. He knew y/n hated these dinners, probably not as badly as him but she still hated them. As he finished running his fingers through his hair, he heard a knock on his door, his gaze moving over to the sound. 

“Are you coming down y/n’s going to be here soon” Wheezie asked as she leaned against the doorframe, looking over to the boy impatiently. He rolled his eyes as he glanced over to his younger sister. He was about to respond with some sarcastic comment, before the words registered in his head. 

“Yeah, I am.” He responded, his mind now focusing on the fact that he would have to sit around at dinner and act like he had a stick up his ass for the next few hours. He made the final adjustment to his shirt, making sure he looked presentable, before he spoke to Wheezie once more, “Let’s go down then.” The girl walked behind him down the stairs before she spoke out, “You know dad said you’re not allowed to drink tonight…” cautiously, not sure how he’d react to the information, he was a little- unpredictable after all. Rafe rolled his eyes once again at Wheezie’s words, shooting her a glare as they made their way down the stairs. He was starting to get irritated by the rules that his father had for a simple dinner that happened every. single. month. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” He muttered in a dismissive tone as he glanced around once they reached the bottom of the stairs, hoping to catch any sign of y/n's family’s car pulling up. 

Sarah doesn't even need to be here, funny

The car rolled onto the grounds of the Cameron’s residence, gravel crushing under the wheels. Coming to a stop outside the building y/n let out a breath. Knowing tonight was going to be a long one, she prayed that Rafe was going to be in a good mood as she got out of the car, walking a few steps behind both her parents towards the doors. Rafe and Rose waited outside in the front yard as the car pulled up into the long drive way of the Cameron’s house. Rafe watched as he saw the family’s car coming up, he could faintly make out y/n's figure sitting in the backseat through the tinted windows, he chuckled as he watched her put on glasses to shield her eyes from the sun. 

Told her she’d have a hangover  

She followed her parents to the entrance of the home, both of them greeting Rose joyfully, a small ‘hello’, 'how are you' directed to Rafe before they walked off into the home following the blonde woman. Two steps behind them she got to the entrance, eyes looking at Rafe through her sunglasses letting out a huff of air. He chuckled as he watched y/n approach, seeing her in those glasses, grumpy and somewhat dishevelled. He had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He smirked and held out his hand, “Rough night?”

“Shut up,” She grumbled as she held her hand up to him to stop the boy from his teasing. She took his hand as she walked up the stairs to the entrance, shaking her head she gestured to the doors leading inside. He smiled at her grumpy response and tried his best to hold back his laugh, “You’d only have yourself to blame princess. Told you it was a bad idea.” He spoke out with a teasing grin, as he put his hand on the small of her back, leading her into the home. They walked into the dining room, parents all speaking to each other. She looked over to the side where she noticed Wheezie running up to her happily.

“Y/n!” She exclaimed glad to see the older girl again, arms wrapping around her.

“Hey Wheeze,” she spoke out softly, one hand on the girl's back as her other one reached up, taking her sunglasses off her face. She knew if she didn’t her mother would complain, reminding her about manners. Rafe observed silently as the girl greeted his younger sister, she always looked up to her like a big sister, like Sarah. He leaned against the wall behind them as she spoke, crossing his arms, unable to take his eyes off of her, careful not to make it obvious. His parents sat at the table talking, while Wheezie clung to y/n’s side ranting about something he wasn’t really paying attention to.

“Omg no way what?!” Y/n gasped out invested in the girl’s story as she spoke to her about school gossip. The younger girl nodded her head eagerly before she turned away being called by her stepmother. He smiled as he watched the girl listen to his sister, both of them seemed to be completely immersed in whatever was going on. His eyes followed the young girl’s path as she turned to go sit next to Rose. He looked back at y/n,

“I don’t think she even paused to breathe once during that story.”

“I know right?” She shook her head amused, “I love her.” She spoke tenderly looking over to the girl, head now turning to Rafe, “like my own sister,” she commented. She didn’t have any siblings, and being an only child was an advantage but also a disadvantage when it came to her family. He smiled and met eyes with her, his expression soft as he heard them talk. She looked so sweet and tender as she watched his little sister.

Already like part of the family

 “She really does love you,” he spoke, leaning his head slightly against the wall as he continued to look down at the girl. 

“I’d hope so, I’ve only known her since she was born.” She commented at the boy rolling her eyes sarcastically. He chuckled as she playfully rolled her eyes, “I know, I was there,” he teased. He watched her closely, noticing her tired eyes and faintly dishevelled hair, the effects of the night's drinking, her lip-gloss slightly smudged below her lip. He liked how unkempt she looked in a way, there was something about her usual perfect appearance being messy that attracted him. 

...what? 

“So where’s Sarah?” She questioned. His jaw clenched at the mention of his sister's name, his expression shifted slightly into one of annoyance. “She’s out.” He said, his voice slightly bitter, keeping his answer short.

“Right,” she nodded along. She knew that Sarah was probably out with John B, and the rest of his gang. Not that she had any issue with the pogues, they were actually kind of funny, well when Rafe wasn’t around. Over the years she’s realised that Sarah was the favourite child, the rules applying to the other two siblings always seemed to slip past her. She knew it was because Ward would never criticise his golden child, but it wasn’t her place to say anything anyways. 

“Should we sit?”

He shrugged slightly. He was never super bothered by the fact that Sarah was the favourite, of course sometimes it did bother him, slightly. He knew there was no point crying over it, doesn't mean he didnt think about it.

“Yeah come on.” 

He nodded, grabbing her hand gently and led her over to the table, he pulled out a chair for her, offering it to the girl. She settled into her chair, Rafe sitting down next to her. His knee brushed up against her’s under the table as he pulled his chair in towards the table, they always sat together, it was nothing new. But this felt… different. Maybe it was the silk material of the dress she was wearing? He felt the urge to pull his knee away from her. The room was quickly filled with the sound of cutlery scraping against the porcelain plates, their parent’s discussing the latest news from around Kildare, that this family had done that, and this couple had said this. 

This is pointless… 

Do I still have that joint? 

“So y/n,” Ward spoke up from the other end of the table, breaking the silence between the two teens, “Rafe tells me you’ve been busy with your family business, that right?” 

She looked over to the man at his unexpected question, nodding lightly. “Yes sir,” she said, her parents always urged her to treat him with the utmost respect, considering that he was such a great financial investor in their company. Yet there was nothing more that she wanted but to ignore him and continue eating.

Rafe glanced over at his father when he spoke up. Ward had been asking about y/n a lot lately, his interest in the family business had perked up, being involved with the family for years but recently more than in the past. Rafe knew exactly why, the business had been doing well lately, and his father, being a rich financial investor, wanted to get involved some more to ensure their own success. He looked over at y/n, watching as she responded respectfully to his father, he almost wanted to laugh at how his father’s eyes lit up at the way she treated him.  

“She’s been working very hard.” she nodded her head as the boy spoke up from next to her, wondering what else the man could possibly want to ask her. She was aware that Rafe knew about the family, she told him everything so she wasn’t surprised when he responded for her. 

“Maybe you could learn from y/n hmm Rafe?”

Silence

 Y/n’s eyes flickered over to Rafe, his fork now harshly gripped in his hand. His head whipped around to look at his father as he clenched his jaw in displeasure. He tried to control the annoyance from seeping into his voice but anyone could hear the tension in his tone as he spoke up,

“I do plenty of hard work.”

“Right.” 

Ward responded firmly, clearly unimpressed. Y/n could sense the tension between them, she felt the need to change the conversation to break the uncomfortable atmosphere which formed around the table, everyone else keeping their eyes down from the father son clash which has commenced halfway through dinner, 

“Um Rafe tells me the company is expanding really well…”

Rafe felt his irritation grow as his father continued to belittle his work, in front of everyone, but he tried his best to hold in the anger. He was thankful as he heard y/n speak up, trying to change the subject away from what his father had been pestering him about. Ward seemed to loosen his annoyance and turned back to the girl, 

“Yes, but I must say, I’m quite taken back by what your parents have achieved. It’s very impressive.”

Y/n sat back as her father jumped to the occasion to discuss his work. She let out a quiet breath, shoulders lowering in relief. From the corner of her eye she could see Rafe, body still tense as he aggressively cut into the food on his plate. Her hand reached out under the table, palm lowering gently to rest on his knee in a comforting gesture. He felt the girl’s hand lower down onto his knee, it did comfort him slightly. He let out a small huff of air as her hand gently stroked his knee. He hadn’t noticed how tense he’d become when his father started talking to him, she was the only one who could tell. He let out a sigh, knowing he would have to try and avoid his father for the rest of the night, for both of their sakes.

Her eyes searched for his sending him a small smile, hoping to reassure him. She didn’t like the way his father treated him, never had and never will, she hated it actually. He acted like Rafe was the black sheep of the family, always finding a way to remind him of that. She kept her hand on his knee as her other hand held the silver fork, stabbing at the salad on her plate and lifting it to her mouth. He felt a small sense of relief at the girl’s smile, he’s realised over the years that she often didn’t like the way his family talked to him, especially his father which she wasn’t afraid to tell him about. As he watched her take a bite off her fork, his eyes couldn’t help but notice her soft lips close around the fork. The subtle curve of her mouth lingered on the metal, a delicate, almost teasing motion, his chest felt tight. In that moment he almost forgot the tension from earlier as his mind was occupied by something else now.

Stop

She heard the boy next to her clearing his throat, mumbling out an ‘excuse me’ as the sound of the chair scraping against the floor filled the room, rising and standing up, chucking his napkin onto the chair and walking out the room towards the bathroom. Her brows furrowed slightly, had Ward worked him up that much? He mumbled out his  apology to everyone in the room as he stood up and quickly walked out the room, he shut the bathroom door behind him and let out a frustrated sigh. It was his father, that’s what it was. It was how he talked to him that pissed him off, he hated being made to feel like a complete failure in the eyes of his father, and he hated that he couldn’t do anything about it. 

But that wasn’t it though was it? 

… 

It was Angelina. It was the way her hand rested on his knee, that damned smile she’d send him to get him to calm down. Those, those stupid lips which lingered on her fork and wrapped around her straw when she lifted her glass to drink. 

Get yourself together 

She looked over her shoulder wondering if she should follow after the boy, would her parents get mad if she just got up after him. She turned her head back now, Wheezie who was sitting opposite her looked at the girl nodding her head slightly so no one else would notice, shoving a potato into her mouth as she did so. “Um- I’m sorry I’ll be right back.” she spoke out gently, no one paying any attention as they’d fallen back into conversation, she quietly stood up walking in the same direction as him.

Rafe let out another frustrated sigh, hand coming up to pull at his hair as he stared at himself in the mirror. He put his hands on the edge of the sink and let his shoulders drop. He was annoyed but that wasn’t all. Y/n was still on his mind, her hand, her sweet smile, her lips… He never struggled to control himself around her. Fuck. She was his best friend. Yet tonight he couldn’t help it, he was overthinking and over analysing every single action, every single smile, every single touch and it was making him lose his mind slightly. 

Is this a symptom of withdrawals?

 He’d tried to lower his intake of the white powder, he knew she’d asked him to try cause she was getting worried. He felt bad. He’d never want to be the source of her Worries. But this just wasn’t right. The quiet sound of the bathroom door opening pulled him out of his mind and he snapped his head up to see who’d entered. His eyes widened slightly as he saw y/n, he hadn’t expected her to follow him.

“What are you-”

“-are you okay?” 

She whispered out as she quickly walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her quietly hoping no one noticed, lord knows gossip would arise between the workers of the household, she’d caught them talking before. He let out an exasperated exhale. Of course, of course she was checking in on him like she always did. He felt his heart flutter slightly at the thought of her worrying about him,

“I’m fine.”

 He responded quickly. He turned to the sink, turning on the faucet and filling his hands with water, he held them in front of his face, not wanting the girl to see expression.

“Okayyyy.” She drew out as she leaned her back against the door of the bathroom, the cold wood pressing against the exposed back of her dress. Her arms crossed as she looked to him sceptically, “You seem a little…. on edge?”

Yeah you have no idea 

He let out a small scoff as she called him out on how he was acting. He was usually so good at hiding his emotions, but the girl had learnt to read him like an open book, it was almost infuriating how well she understood him.

“Really? What gave it away?” He replied sarcastically, he splashed the cool water on his face, trying to hide his expression from her once again.

“Oh I don’t know” She smiled in amusement as she walked over to where he was standing, heels clicking against the tiled floor. Pushing the toilet seat down the porcelain clinking slightly, she sat on the cover as she looked over to him tapping her manicured nails against the marble faucet counter. “Maybe cause you paraded off like a drama queen?” She teased.

He dismissed her with a dry laugh, his eyes rolling in annoyance as she spoke. He knew that she was only teasing him, and he would usually respond with witty remarks and banter, but he couldn’t focus enough to think of a retort back at her, as she sat so close to him taunting.

“Watch it or I’ll lock you in here.” He responded to her teasing, he was trying his best to sound unbothered but it came out as strained instead. Her eyes softened slightly at the sound of his voice. Standing up she stood next to him, hand coming up to place on his bicep in an offer of sympathy, “C’mon I’m serious… are you okay?”

His body tensed slightly as the girl’s hand rested on his arm. Her touch made his skin burn excitedly and he suddenly became hyper aware of how close her body was to his as he stood with his back to the sink. He couldn’t look up at y/n as her eyes gently searched his face, so he kept his eyes down, his jaw clenched. He felt a pang of guilt at her worry for him, he didn’t like it, and he didn’t like the fact he felt like he was taking advantage of the situation. 

If you really knew what I’m thinking, would you still react the same? 

“Yeah I’m good”

“Mkay.” She breathed out, taking a step back realising he needed his space. Her eyes couldn’t help but get caught on the small water droplets still on his face, clinging to his lashes which covered his troublesome eyes, dropping down and rolling down his cheeks, resting on the cupid bow of his lips. Her gaze lingered on his lips, almost involuntarily as she felt a sudden rush of heat she wasn’t prepared for, it was a startling realization, one that made her heartbeat quicken and her breath catch in her throat. 

Wait what?

The feeling of her hand leaving his arm sent a chill down his spine, he had to resist the urge to grab her hand and keep it on his arm. He closed his eyes shut as she stepped back, he was so confused. Why did the girl being so close to him suddenly make his body feel so weird. He opened his eyes after pulling the towel which he had lifted to wipe the water off his face away, to find y/n staring at him.

 “…you’re staring”

“Right”

She cleared her throat, why had her mouth gotten dry all of a sudden. She took a step back, hands clasped behind her back as she waited for him, looking down at the floor. He kept his eyes on her movement. Her body language seemed off for some reason. 

Is she... nervous? 

But that didn’t make sense, he was the one who was confused. Why was she acting so weird? He took a step forward until he was right in front of her, his eyes looking down at her intently, she still didn’t look up at him. He tilted his head down slightly, trying to get her to meet his gaze.

“Look at me”

Noting his shoes now standing opposite hers. Her eyes fluttered up looking at the boy in-front of her. She met his gaze with a small smile as she swallowed trying to regain her composure. 

Is my ovulation cycle earlier or what? 

He looked at her intently, his eyes searching her own, trying to figure out why she suddenly seemed so nervous. He noticed the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed, he saw how her expression seemed to be fighting to stay composed, something was wrong, but he couldn’t work out what it was. His gaze darkened as his eyes continued to scan her face, not breaking contact with the girl’s own eyes,

“Tell me what’s wrong”

He spoke up, his voice low and quiet, in a tone she’d never heard from him before.

“Nothing” 

She spoke out a little too fast. She let out a sigh hand coming up to run over the arch of her brow. “Nothing… I’m just worried about you,” she spoke out, looking at him genuinely. That wasn’t wrong. 

He hummed with a hint of sarcasm, he didn’t believe her. He knew when she was lying, they’ve been friends long enough, and he was certain she was doing it right now. He’d never seen her so nervous, well maybe except for when they were younger and she’d made him meet up with her before her first date with some waitress- or something like that. It was driving him insane. 

“No way, don't lie to me. Something’s wrong. I know it is,” he spoke out firmly.

“If something was wrong I’d tell you,” she arched her brow as she looked up to him crossing her arms speaking out, 

“Would you tell me?”

His eyes bore into y/n’s as she stood in front of him with her arms crossed, her expression determined. 

“Yes I would. I don’t keep secrets from you.”

“Yeah well neither do I.”

 She asserted, looking at him as she tilted her head up. He exhaled loudly in frustration as she stood in front of him with her head held high and her arms crossed stubbornly.

“Bullshit. You obviously are keeping something from me right now. You’re acting weird” He had to put his hand on the counter to ground himself.

“I’m acting weird?” She let out a mocking laugh before pointing her finger towards him, “You’re acting weird!”

He couldn’t help the scoff that escaped his lips as she pointed at him, this was starting to feel more like an argument than a conversation.

“I’m not the one stuttering and staring at the floor” He retorted back harshly gesturing to her as he spoke.

“I’m not the one running away from the table!” she spoke out slightly louder now with wide eyes as her hand gestured out the door back to the table.

His eyes narrowed in response to her remark, this argument was going back and forth, and no one was backing down from their position, he’s been friends with her for too long to know definitely wasn’t going too.

Stubborn brat

Moody asshole

“I didn’t run away” He said, tone now defensive and cold.

“I-” She sighed out, fingers reaching up to pinch at the bridge of her nose, “I didn’t come here to fight Rafe. I just wanted to know if you’re okay.”

He let the tension leave his shoulders as she spoke again, realising he’d projected his own frustrations onto her. He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily and exhaled loudly, realising how annoyed he’d become for some reason. 

“Look… I’m fine, really. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m alright princess.”

He didn’t like the way y/n still looked at him like she didn’t believe him, but he didn’t want to start another argument. He reached out to her gently, his pinkie finger wrapping around her own, the tradition starting when they were younger. 

“I mean it. I’m fine, I promise, alright?”

He spoke sincerely. He really was fine, he couldn’t say what had come over him before, but he was fine now. 

I think 

She smiled genuinely at his action, as she brought their hands up between them keeping their pinkies intertwined, “Pinkie promise?” She spoke out hushed as though it was a secret, she couldn’t deny it amused her, thinking back to how they used to do it when they were younger, it used to be a sacred oath back then.

His lips curled up in a smile as their pinkies intertwined together. He found the childhood gesture endearing, the thought that they both still did it even after all these years. He couldn’t deny it, it made his heart race in his chest. He chuckled lightly as he nodded his head gently, the sound of the girl’s voice whispering filling his ears.

 “Pinkie promise” He responded, his voice just as quiet as the girl's. He didn’t want anyone to hear them from outside the bathroom, as though it was their very own secret ritual once again. She let go of his finger gently as she took a step back nodding her head, her hand reaching out for the door handle, 

“I’ll wait for you outside?” she questioned as she pushed the cold handle, the metal letting out a tiny squeak at the pressure as she pulled it towards her. He sent her a nod, corners of his lips pulling up into a small smile as he turned back to the mirror, faucet turning on again. She slipped through the door, closing them behind her. She let out a breath, leaning her back against the door, hand coming up to push her hair out of her face. 

What the fuck was that about…?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @evermorx89

[mactavishsgfandwife]

Dad!Simon Taking Your Daughter to the Optician’s (Fluff)

another random one but OMG imagine your daughter had needed those adorable baby glasses and simon took her to the optician to buy a pair 😭 like awwwwweewwwwwwwwe purest domestic fluff ever, not proofread

He pulls her tiny, pink raincoat off of the coat hangers by the door, along with his own black bomber jacket that he holds under one arm, and he tenderly leans down to zip up her little jacket - the one with cutesy rubber ducks embroidered at the cuffs. Most people wouldn’t immediately assume them to be father and daughter. This huge, intimidating military man with sunglasses on in early Spring to hide his eyes and a small silver dog tag dangling down around his neck, dwarfed by his broad shoulders - and reaching her hand up to hold his, babbling something unintelligible about rocks, a little girl. Her hair was carefully tied into bunches - Simon had tried to do it himself but he somehow managed to miss out half of her hair, so he lifted her up over his shoulder as if he were a firefighter and went to find you.

"Y’married a soldier, not a hairdresser," he grinned, a little bit embarrassed.

At the optician’s, he guides his little girl around the room, inspecting the shelves of different glasses. He holds her soft, little hand in his big, tough one. For a moment, he is distracted by some informational poster on the wall, but a sudden exasperated gasp from the 3 year old at his feet pulls him back to reality right away. Looking down, he sees her chubby hands holding a pair of adult sunglasses to her eyes, a big grin on her face.

"Glasses! Want glasses, daddy!" she giggles, the specs falling wonky on her little button nose. Simon laughs softly, crouching down to get closer to his baby, his elbows resting on the denim of his jeans.

"You can have glasses, love… but those are too big for a littl’un like you," he leans in to kiss her soft forehead, and tries to place the sunglasses back, as her little fingers paw at them.

"What about these ones..?" he smiles, holding out a little pair of pink glasses, purple at the edges, with sweet little stars along the sides. That smile on his face is met by her exaggerated, pleading eyes and her little sad pout, still trying to reach her hands out to the sunglasses that her daddy had meanly placed on a high shelf. :(

Simon finally settles on buying the sunglasses ‘for himself’, rolling his eyes with a small chuckle as he helps fit those cute, purple glasses to his little girl’s face, turning her to look at herself in the mirror of the shop.

"Ahh!" she lets out a little, excited squeal, "I love it, Daddy!"

"You look so pretty, little girl," he smiles protectively, trying not to laugh as he sees her chubby, grinning face looking up at him behind those glasses that make her eyes seem twice as big as normal.

Her little mary-jane shoes run in circles around the shop, as she lets out little squeaks of joy and mumbles to herself - in the end, it takes your husband a whole 10 minutes to convince her to take them off so that he can buy them, and on the walk home she does her best to speed ahead of him (not that he would ever actually allow her out of his sight), shouting, "Faster, Daddy!", alternating between running away from him and walking slow at his side, panting from the running until he caved and carried her. She was just so excited and couldn’t wait to go home and show Mummy. <3

And she looks so cute when she excitedly rushes into the kitchen, screwing up her face and giggling as she tells you all about her new glasses, Simon leaning against the doorframe in the background and chuckling softly as he watches, unable to hide how much he loves his little family.

i love him so much i’m crying tears thanks for reading lovelies! x

[inkdrinkerworld]

Sirius gets more pissed off than you do when people cut you off. He’ll be staring all doey-eyed at the side of your face while you’re talking sbout something you’re interested in but someone speaks over you and he gives them the nastiest side eye before speaking over them and asking you to continue. (The whole time you were just going to politely let them finish before continuing your thought but it makes you mushy inside when he does things like that for you ☺️)

omg yes!!!

Sirius thinks every word you speak is spun in gold. There's something so captivating about the way the words fall from your lips and the way your nose twitches just so when you speak about something that made you particularly excited that gets him all heart-eyed and a little breathless.

You're at another one of James' house parties, this one a lot less eventful than some of the others he'd had, but it's just on the brink of summer so everyone is in as little clothes as possible to beat the heat.

You're sipping on an iced tea, telling your friends the story of how you'd almost gotten scammed out of one of your anticipated sundresses when Mary cuts you across to delve into her own story that's vaguely related to what you were saying.

Sirius hates that you've gone quiet, having been listening to you with rapt attention. He watches you sip your drink patiently, not much care to the fact that you've been cut off, but he turns all slow to face Mary and scowls.

"I think you've lost your manners, Mary," his tone is light, but you know your boyfriend well, he wants her to finish her story so you can get back to talking.

She rolls her eyes, so do your other friends, well accustomed to Sirius' deep need and want for you to also be the thing everyone orbits.

"Siri, stop." you say softly, touching his bicep with wet fingers from the condensation of your cup. His skin is hot where yours is cool, and he gives you a tired smile for it.

"Well, you could at least whisper the rest of the story to me." he says it with as much sass and playfulness as he usually does, and it rewards him with a tinkling laugh and a shake of your head.

"Have patience, baby." Sirius simply shakes his head, inky hair escaping the bun he's tied it back in on the nape of his neck.

"M'being serious, doll. Whisper it to me."

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Regarding the “Is Marinette a Stalker?” post, I want to say thank you! Because I did something like Marinette and self-doubted my younger-self’s actions. A bit of context, I’m (37 y/o, female) one of the many adults that loved MLBCN when it started airing. When I came disappointed at the show by S4, I turned to the fandom to look out for fanfics, and was surprised by the salty side.

Don’t get me wrong, I kinda get the why’s and the reasons, and even though I enjoyed a Mari-salt fic titled “The Schedule” (iirc), I… sorta felt ashamed at myself? When I was 19, I fell in love with this guy, and it seemed that he liked me too. Our university had a system only for students where we could do lots of administrative stuff, like choosing our classes. At my time, there used to be a search tool on it to look out for our classmates’ schedules; in my curiosity, I searched for his just to see if we shared free periods. (Btw, today I do feel that it was wrong that my university had that function).

At my defense, after finding my crush’s schedule, I also searched for my friends’, just so I could organize with them to set up a table for our LAN parties. At the end my feelings weren’t reciprocated, my heartbreak ocurred close the next semester’s start, so I searched his schedule one more time, but just to avoid having classes with him.

When I read that Mari having Adrien’s schedule was “stalker behavior” I was like “OMG, was I a stalker? And worse, I was legally an adult!”, but I can’t remember my friends being creeped out by me. I don’t know if it is a subject whose meaning has evolved as time went on, or maybe it can change according to our different cultural/countries’ POV. But we do crazy stuff when we are young-adults, and worse when we are adolescents, add first love/crush feelings, and well… (just look at Hey, Arnold!’s Helga, she had it bad for Arnold and went to do stuff that by today’s standards is a serious case of bullying).

If the issue is the “breach of privacy” and the “3 years”, well, the first one isn’t touched on the show, maybe Mari got the pattern by observation, or Alya helped by asking Nino, or maybe even Chloe said something loudly, or my personal fan-favorite: as Class Rep, Marinette has access to that information to make easy her duties! And as for the second issue, they are 13-14 years old, my bet is that if their school makes fixated schedules for its students, so it wouldn’t be difficult to guess Adrien’s schedule for the next 3-years, and since his father was Marinette’s favorite designer, she might have followed his seasons releases, and might been easy for her to add it to Adrien’s schedule.

I want to clarify that I’m not looking to invalidate people’s feelings about this, or saying that they are wrong. In the end, we all must remember that Marinette is just a fictional adolescent character in a cartoon show, and cartoons will exaggerate actions just for the sake of the plot. We don’t like something about the characters’ actions and/or personalities? We teach and explain to the children why is wrong; and as adults, we tell ourselves to be wary if anything about it is in our daily actions, so we don’t fall into the “hating something that is a reflection of us” projection.

I like to think that I was a good adolescent and young adult that didn’t do anything morally or ethically bad, so it really freaked me out that part of the Marinette salt fandom. So, a thousand thanks! And sorry that your friend, cousin and you had to deal with that stuff.

(Post this ask is in reference to)

Before we get started, I wanted to say that your university having that feature seems incredibly dangerous. Most people are going to use it the harmless way that you did, but boy does that have the potential for misuse. Way better to let students decide if they want to share schedules on their own.

Anyway, while I will absolutely agree that the show occasionally takes Marinette too far, leading me to understand why her behavior bothers people, I think that biggest issue in her writing is actually something you sort of brought up:

I fell in love with this guy, and it seemed that he liked me too.

It sounds like you had some sort of relationship with your crush and that makes a world of difference to how your actions are going to be perceived by others. Checking the schedule of a guy you don't know? Kinda creepy. Checking the schedule of your friends including the friend you have a crush on? Normal.

Let's look at a personal example to show you what I mean. When I was in high school, I learned parts of my crush's schedule. On my way to lunch, I would purposely walk by the area where he hung out so that I could say "hi" to him as I walked past.

This statement probably raises some questions in your mind like how did I learn that he'd be there? The answer is incredibly innocent. I learned that part of his schedule by accident because his hangout spot because was also my hangout spot during my free periods. I just happened to go by one day to see a different friend and ran into him, thereby learning a bit of his schedule. After that, I took path A to lunch instead of path B because they took the same amount of time and I liked seeing him for two seconds every day.

It's also worth noting that we had the same hangout spot because we had a mutual friend group! We were in the same small club and spent a lot of time together. We even hung out together outside of school and club activities. We eventually dates for several years because he asked me out! So when I said, "hi" to him every day, it didn't shock anyone or creep him out because I wasn't some random girl. I was a friend taking a moment to acknowledge his existence before going about the rest of my day.

An additional mitigating detail is the fact that I could have told you details about several platonic friends' schedules because that's just what happens when you know people and pay attention to their lives. We all know random crap about the people we care about. Crushes simply enhance your attention, making you way more aware of everything you do, say, or think about this person. That heightened attention might make you feel creepy at times, but that feeling doesn't automatically make you creepy. It's more complicated than that. The details of the situation matter because there's a ton of nuance around this topic. Nuance that actually makes it hard to give examples because this stuff can be incredibly personal. What person A find cute and charming is a hard no for person B.

That nuances goes beyond crushes on people you're close with. For example, you don't need to stop going to your favorite coffee shop because the new barista is cute! You are not stalking them by maintaining your usual habits! You're not a bad person for experiencing attraction toward a person who is working! It only gets weird if you start crossing social boundaries like if you start asking them on a date every time you see them even though they are very clearly uninterested and you've never actually talked to them beyond simple pleasantries.

This is where we circle back to Miraculous.

While the early seasons of Miraculous gave Adrien and Marinette a few moments of friendship like playing games together in Gamer, those moments quickly stopped. By season three, they barely interacted. This happened for an obvious reasons. Miraculous is an episodic formula show in almost the purest sense of those terms. The writers have made it clear that the episodes are designed so that they can be watched in any order leading to all sorts of weird moments like Felix telling Marinette that Gabriel is Monarch only for her to act like this is new information in the next episode. This was explicitly done so that people who missed the first reveal didn't feel left out:

Talking about previous episodes, [the writers] then say that... the 5 last episodes of season 5 (Collusion - Revolution - Representation - Conformation - Recreation) go together and there is a direct continuation between them. (However, one of their rules as Miraculous writers is that these episodes can also be watched and understood independently.)

This ridiculous rule* means that the on-screen relationships can't develop and grow as that makes the show feel too serialized. This limitation meant that Adrien and Marinette could NOT become functional friends with a developing relationship as that would require a certain viewing order. The same was true for Ladybug and Chat Noir's relationship. They could not become stronger over time. They had to stay stagnant.

Without those friendships, Adrienette was reduced to being all about Marinette being unable to function around Adrien and Ladynoir was reduced to being all about Chat Noir flirting relentlessly while Ladybug constantly shot him down. The only side of the square that was allowed to be a true friendship was Marichat because they could interact without it leading to a romance since they weren't in love, which is a major problem since Adrienette is what became canon in spite of it having the substance of unset jello. How are we supposed to ship a couple that never knowingly interacted???

This inability to have developing relationships is why the writers wrote Marinette more like a fangirl than a friend with a crush. But fangirl behavior only plays well when there's a level of separation between the fan and the object of their affections. The fan can't actually know their crush because that makes the fan feel creepy and weird. This is Marinette's main problem. The thing that understandably turns a lot of viewers off. The way her crush is written simply doesn't fit the story canon is going with.

If Marinette and Adrien had been written as true friends and were allowed to have more of those early show moments where they did non-romantic things together, then Marinette would come across light-years more relatable than she does in canon even if her actions didn't change.

It's not that Marinette never has questionable moments, she absolutely does! It's just that a lot of those moments are only questionable because of the nature of her relationship with Adrien. They would all feel wildly different if Adrien was her close friend or boyfriend.

To see what I mean, think about how much less creepy it would have been if Marinette claimed to have Adrien's schedule after she and Adrien started dating. Your instant assumption becomes that he gave it to her! You also have the addition of Gabriel's controlling nature to mitigate the way Marinette's rickshaw date plan comes across. It goes from awkwardly over-the-top to sweet because she's just trying to find a way to spend a few minutes with her boyfriend whose life is too controlled to allow for proper dates. Same exact episode setup, wildly different read because context matters.

It really is sad how much the writing failed Marinette because it's normal to be a little weird around your crush. Wanting to get to know them better and spend time with them is completely understandable and common behavior! But the writers didn't just decide to keep Marinette and Adrien from being good friends. They also decided to give Marinette an active running gag of trying and failing to confess. This gag requires her crush to be extremely active while the show's formulaic nature meant that the crush could never have true progress. This lead to the show constantly putting Marinette in awkward positions and questionable situations. It's a terrible call if your goal is to actually tell a romance. They would have been way better off to make Marinette shy and afraid to confess as a contrast to Chat Noir's bold flirting. The most I'd do in that setup is to let her have the occasional secrete admirer thing where she leaves Adrien a gift or sends him a note like we saw in The Bubbler. That way a much stronger way to play Marinette's crush.

*Quick note: status quo rules are fine in shows that don't have overarching plots, but Miraculous is a romance with an overarching plot. Both of those elements require you to have some level of serialization to your story. I recently used ABC's Castle as an example of this. Almost every episode it a unique murder mystery, but the characters' relationships progress over time. There are also several plot lines that run through the show, leading to a handful of episodes that do need to be watched in order. Notably, all of the major status quo changes happen in that handful of serialized episodes. This is the type of show that Miraculous needed to be for its main story lines to work.

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜

John: "one of the funnier quirks of game dev is you will never remember missions by their real names but instead by the name you called them by for several years of development it will never be 'In Your Heart Shall Burn' for me, it'll always be Setback" [source] / Blair: "there was that awkward period where half of the DA:V ones had "gods" in the title, so discussions were always some variant of: "Did you mean 'Gods Are Back' or 'Gods Are Bad'? I've heard people mention 'Egads! Gods!' but I'm not sure if that's new or a rework."" [source] / Malcolm (in reply to John): "I have one like this in DA:Ve and I can't share it yet because spoilers but I promise you it's delightful" [source]

John: "the only one i can ever remember is 'Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts' and it's because it seems to be the only DAI mission that people constantly reference by name online" [source] / Mary: "It's proper name is "Ham Ball." I put that in the file names, even." [source]

John: "idk how widely it’s been advertised but a reminder we are doing another Veilguard Q&A on Discord this Friday noon Mountain time (so 11 Pacific)" [source] / Malcolm: "Make sure you don't tell them about that one thing that happens in that place, with the guy." [source]

Trick: "BioWare released a new screenshot of Taash! I love how it captures the amazing detail work the character artists did." [source]

Image description on the Taash screenshot in Trick's post of the cap:

"A screenshot of Taash looking off to the side. The lighting is warm like either late afternoon or an interior with a fireplace, and it catches in the gold on Taash's armor and horns. Taash looks pensive or vulnerable -- not the deadpan stare or badass determination we've seen in other shots."

pensive or vulnerable.. ohh Taash. 🥺 Trick!!

User on the screenshot: "Taash looks *completely the fuck over this shit* in a totally exhausted sort of way, here. which is, mind, amazing detail work on the character artists' party!!" / Trick: "You know, it's a spectrum." [source]

Trick on DA:I - "Miss May is amazing in many ways, and especially in finding the balance of sweetness to pain for the Solas scenes. ❤️" [source] ((thankyouuu Miss May!!))

User: "it must be basically impossible to resist putting at least one extra moon around your fantasy world" / John: "if dragon age didn’t already have two you’d better believe I would’ve added another one. sitting next to a dial titled ‘number of moons’ and every so often I add another one. anyways the thing about Satina is- (a large hook drags me offstage)" [source, two, three] ((omg.. THE SECOND MOON shfuehfuehdbdh)

User: "i've been thinking about bellara's pockets and i need to know what her thoughts on cargo pants would be. would she be a fan for the utility." / John: "she wouldn't wear them all the time - she's a firm believer in a distinction between 'work clothes' and 'at home clothes' - but she is always in search of more pockets to carry more things into the field. she'd own at least three pairs" [source]

User: "The next two months are going to feel like the Fade section in DAO 😭" / Dragon Age: "Good thing we have a Veil Jumper to help you out! 💜" [source]

User: "MY SON LOOKS SO CUTE" (re: the new pic of Manfred from today) / Dragon Age: "MY BOY MANFRED 💀💚" [source]

User: "Can we change the armor/gear on our companions?" / Dragon Age: "You can!" [source]

User: "thank you for the food 🙏🙏🙏" / Dragon Age: "Enjoy your meal!" [source]

[pinkslipxox]

Oh my god hear me out!! So how about a fluff to smut? Reader is Mexican and has curly hair, and Miko overhears her friends talk badly about your hair at a gathering or some sort of party, reader hears and Miko being the best girlfriend ever stands up for you. And when you two get home, it ends in yummy strap-on sex!!

(IM IN LOVE W YOUR MIKO FICS)

Hola, mami!!! Youre so sweet xx Yesss omg hope you like it 😘😘❤️

——————————————————————————

Miko loves everything about you. Especially your hair. She loves how bouncy the look, the way they feel as she rubs your head as you fall asleep on her chest, and how it always smells of your coconut and shea butter shampoo and conditioner. Your family described your hair as ‘pelo chino’ in their Mexican Spanish, something that always gave Miko a chuckle whenever she heard you say it.

In her eyes, there is no one in the world as beautiful as you.

Tonight you and Miko are over at Mauro’s house where he is hosting a get together with lots of friends and acquaintances that Miko knew. She brought you along, of course, wanting to share the evening with you and introduce you to everyone. While you are sitting with Mari, Miko is sat around with a small group of friends, listening in on a story before she gets up to grab a beer.

And that’s when she hears it. Your name being whispered amongst the group, followed by quiet laughter and jeers. Miko freezes.

“I bet Miko wishes she had straight hair— there’s no way in hell I’d be seen with someone who looks like they’ve just woken up,” one of them sneers, scrunching up their face in disgust as the other friends snicker.

“Dios mío, parece que tiene un nido de ratas en la cabeza,” another chimes in, their eyes looking up at you up and down with disdain. The snickers turn into laughs, careless and taunting.

Miko’s blood boils.

In the midst of her anger, Miko’s heart aches for you. You, blatantly unaware of what was being said about you, continue to giggle and talk with Mari across the room. You barely even know the people who were talking about you behind your back, and they barely even know you, either. How dare they?

Miko doesn’t even think twice and storms over to them. Her chest rises up and down with anger. And her fists are to her side, clenched.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Miko growls at her friends, and the group’s faces grow pale as they all snap their heads up to see Miko, unaware that their comments have been heard. The first friend opens her mouth to say something but the other one beats her to it.

Unbeknownst to Miko, your attention draws to the confrontation.

“Tranquila, Miko, no estaba hablando en serio,” she protests with an awkward chuckle and Miko clenches her jaw.

“Esa es mi novia de la que estabas bromeando,” Miko snaps, her tone sharp. “Ni siquiera la conoces y bromeas sobre su cabello. If you can’t respect her, then we can’t be fucking friends.”

At that moment, Miko feels a hand touch her shoulder. She instinctively knows that it’s you, and she prays that you didn’t hear anything that was being said. Yet when looks at you and sees your tear-filled eyes, her fears are confirmed.

You had heard everything.

“Que se vayan a la mierda todos ustedes,” Miko snarls, shooting one last menacing glare at her two now ex-friends before turning to you, her expression softening instantly as she takes your hand in hers. “C’mon, baby. Let’s go.”

Without another word, Miko leads you out of the room and out the door. She helps you get in the car before hurrying to the driver’s seat.

“Estás bien, mi vida?” Miko asks softly, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze, and despite you nodding, Miko knows better.

The car ride home is silent. Miko glances every now and then at your direction, her heart aching at the sight of your sad expression, and she is racking her brains for a way to make you feel better. She helps you get out of the car once you two arrive home, her arm wrapped around you, tightly, protectively, and the moment you two sit down on the couch, you break down.

“Ay, Y/N.” Miko pulls you to her lap, gently guiding your head to her chest. “No te pongas así, eres demasiada linda para llorar.”

Each sob that comes out from you only makes Miko’s heart twist. She gently rocks your body from side to side, peppering you in kisses, whispering sweet nothings as your sobs turn from cries to soft whimpers and hiccups. You’ve calmed down now, but Miko can tell that you’re still upset.

“Is it true what they said, Miko? My hair looks like a rat’s nest?” you murmur softly, and ever so gently, Miko lifts your chin up.

“Claro que no, Y/N. Your hair is absolutely beautiful. They have no idea what they’re talking about.” Miko pecks your lips, softly, gently. “Eres hermosa, mi amor, no creas nada de lo que dicen, por favor.”

“Thank you, Miko,” you sigh after a beat of silence, nuzzling into her touch. “Can we cuddle, please?”

Miko coos. “Yes, of course, my love. Quieres hacerlo aquí o en nuestro cuarto?”

“Nuestro cuarto,” you reply, sniffling, and with that, Miko lifts you off the couch with ease and carries you to the bedroom.

Miko carefully places you down, her eyes silently asking you for permission, and with a nod, she begins to take off your clothes. It’s your favorite way to cuddle, skin to skin, limbs tangled together, and Miko is more than willing to join you if it meant your happiness and comfort. Once Miko strips out of her clothing, she leads you the bed by the hand. Under the covers, she wraps her arms around you, and kisses the top of your head.

“Gracias, baby,” you hum, cuddling closer to your girlfriend.

Miko smiles softly. “No hay que agradecerme, mi amor. Estoy aquí para ti. Always.”

You lift your head up and kiss her cheek. Miko then gently cups your cheek, stroking your skin with her thumb as she looks into your eyes for a moment, and then connects her lips with yours. The kiss is gentle and soft, and Miko feels you melt into her, your hand lightly grilling the back of her neck, the sound of your soft moans making Miko’s heart flutter. Miko then pulls away slightly.

“Is this okay?” Miko murmurs softly, searching your eyes, and she doesn’t hesitant to reconnect her lips as soon as you nod your head.

The kiss becomes more passionate with a hint of urgency in it, your soft moans and gasps giving Miko all the confidence she needs to move forward. Her travels down to the valley of your breasts, gently sucking on the soft flesh, before going further down to your stomach and just below your belly button. She then kisses your lips again, her tongue massaging with yours as one hand kneads your one of your breasts, just how she knows you like it.

“Strap, please,” you whimper and Miko nods.

“Of course,” Miko obliges. She quickly puts it on and aligns herself with your entrance, your leg hooked around her waist. “Lista, mami?”

At your consent, Miko thrusts inside you, earning a moan from you as you throw your head back in pleasure. Miko can’t help but marvel how gorgeous you look underneath her, your eyelids closed, your lips formed into perfect O-shape as your moans echo the bedroom, your breasts jiggling with each thrust. It just makes her just question how someone could ever say anything bad about your appearance. And Miko vows that no one ever will.

Not on her watch.

“Miko… Miko…” you whimper and she knows that you’re close.

“Cum for me, hermosa,” Miko encourages, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze.

You arch your back, calling Miko’s name as your orgasm takes over you, your legs shaking and breathing ragged. She’s never seen you look so beautiful. And so hers.

“I love you, María Victoria,” you murmur as Miko leans her forehead against yours.

“Not as much as I love you. Mi nenita linda,” Miko coos, her fingers brushing your damp curls from your face. “Ahora y para siempre.”

[faeriemarie]

OMG A 2000S ACTRESS DR IS SO COOL!!! What inspired you to shift there? Are there any roles in particular your excited to play? Who are your celebrity friends (or enemies ehehehe)? How did you start acting? What are the vibes like? What's your reputation? I WANNA KNOW🛐

yayayay my 2000s actress dr / my default dr to fantasize about in literally any scenario!!

i. what inspired me to shift there

i am a HUGE movie nerd, and i mean huge huge huge, i love even bad movies that have half a star on letterboxd! and a lot of my favorite indie films are from the early 2000s and i just want to act in them so so so bad. especially ones with the manic pixie dream girl trope like elizabethtown, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, or 500 days of summer. i just feel so connected to them as something more than a sexist trope and i really feel like i could bring them to life and make them more iconic than they already are. as for roles, i’m especially excited to play the role of the girl in once (2007) because that film always makes me cry and sam in garden state (2004) because it’s one of my favorite movies of all time and zach braff just seems so fantastic to work with as an actor and director!

ii. celebrity friends and enemies

my celebrity best friend is def natalie portman because she’s like the only one around who’s an intellectual like me (both went to ivies) and has any morals at all. but i’m also really good friends with sofia coppola, zooey deschanel, and jason sudeikis. i honestly don’t have any enemies because i just love the idea of being the one universally liked celebrity, although i am sort of scared/try not to associate with james franco because he’s a real creep and tried to get with me when i was way WAY too young in a sort of elvis/priscilla situation. my parents put a stop to that with a quickness and now it’s just part of my abused hollywood starlet lore (maybe i’ll come out with the truth and really tank his career one day, more than it already is)

iii. how did i start acting?

ooops i’m fetishizing being british again! (i’m a stupid american in cr) but in all seriousness, i grew up in london and started on the west end just doing shows. my parents had me working from a very young age and i was in oliver!, les mis, beauty and the beast, and annie. i also did a couple films when i was younger as the “this isn’t my idea of fun” little girl voice in the swan princess, young jing-mei in the joy luck club, and soo yung in rush hour (that little girl singing mariah carey’s fantasy in the backseat in that one clip).

iv. my vibes

i’ve got a really good like fairy tale, angel, unicorn, sacrificial lamb thing going on that i think is really cute and very different than other people at the time. i’m known to be very interested in old films, frequently telling interviewers that my celebrity crush growing up was buster keaton, and love fantasy stories centered on young girls. my red carpet outfits are always ballgowns or antique pieces

v. my reputation

everyone LOVES me! they adore me! they worship the ground i walk on! “oh wendy’s such an amazing actress, she’s such a talented screenwriter, she’s such a perfect director. i wish i could be as beautiful and amazing as her.” sure it’s kinda mary sue but it’s my dr. also one of my big things is that i’m proletariat at heart. i have to work a lot because i work for very cheaply even though i’m a coveted actress. i want to support smaller indie directors so i accept a significantly lower pay than most actors of my stature. and when i direct, i try to employ unknowns in my films. actually, i am known as the best paying director in all of hollywood because i actually give my teams a liveable wage, though, because of this, my teams are always on the smaller side. i give a lot of my money away like i’m a 15th century patron always supporting the arts and i end up not feeling very rich. just enough to support myself. still, i think i make a difference in a lot of people’s lives and i like what i do. truly i am in it for the love of the game

[nthspecialll]

alex im about to post this as a headcanon vid on tiktok but i also wanna know ur headcanons so heres my question:

its almost midnight, its modern au rdr2, what are some of the van der linde gang members doing?? are they sleeping peacefully, or are they out clubbing, or maybe working, or maybe robbing someone? i crave your thoughts :)

I saw the first two sides of that post and then I was like... maybe I shouldn't read this since Chloe asked me.

Javier: Yes, he is out, I think he is out at some very niche bar that plays a bunch of underground music, no one has ever heard of the people who plays and they never will again.

Charles: Either asleep or sitting with Arthur and drinking a beer, just chatting.

Arthur: Likely he is catching up on some chores, or sitting together with one or two people having a beer.

John: He wants to go out but he promised Abigail to cut down on the drinks so instead he is sitting in his man cave, compaining to someone on call while playing video games.

Abigail: She is likely asleep, tired asf from taking care of the child.

Dutch Van Der Linde: His computer is being annoying and shut down while he was trying to make his next concept of a plan, so he is yelling very loudly at it.

Hosea: Trying to call Lenny to come fix Dutch's computer because he can't fix it either.

Lenny: Told himself 'one last chapter' fifteen chapters ago, is very very deep into his book and not at all hearing his phone.

Sean: The person John is yelling to over call. They aren't even on the same game, John is playing some kind of pvp and Sean is bullying kids on Roblox.

Mary-beth: Staring at the open word document, procrasinating writing the next chapter of her fanfiction because everyone in her comments are going "omg I can't imagine what happens next" and she can't either.

Karen: She is a regular at the local gay bars and is currently eyeing an ex across the room, trying to find out of it is a 'hate sex' day.

Tilly: Blowing Mary-Beth's notifications up because she finally caught up on the forementioned fanfiction and now she is obsessed.

Bill: Drinking likely, but not at a bar, just at home in front of the TV with a six pack.

Molly: On a reddit forum asking what to do about Dutch.

Uncle: At the bar, telling everyone willing to listen some lie or another. The staff are so close to throwing him out.

Josiah: Running a pyramid scam.

Pearson: Looking at cooking vids on youtube.

Grimshaw: Asleep.

Sadie: Planning her revenge while watching true crime.

Micah: He is sitting with Joe and Cleet, planning the next bank robbery.

Reverend: 1-4, drinking and sobbing outside of a church, 5-ep, asleep.

[uhhlifeig]

Omg such a fun event!!!

If it's not too much trouble I'd like to request 🎵,

Wish you were sober by conan gray for any marauders era ship :) thank you!!

oooh i love wish you were sober!!

lets see how many references you can find :D

~~~~~

The bright, colorful lights blinded him.

The only reason he was at this party anyways was for Sirius. 

It was always for Sirius.

Honestly, Remus was convinced he existed purely for the boy with the hair as black as his name. What else could have been his purpose?

So now here he was, standing in the corner of a room, a water made up to look like vodka in his hand.

He watched as Sirius drunkenly stumbled towards him, hand in hand with a random girl.

“Hey, Moony,” Sirius grinned, baring his teeth in an intoxicated smile. “This is Mary.”

“Hello, Mary,” Remus said, nodding curtly. “Why are you here?”

“Because Black over here won’t shut up about you, so I asked to meet you to see if you were as great as he says you are!” she giggled.

“How fun,” Remus said dryly. “I’m not all too interesting, trust me.”

“Oh, but you are, Moons!” Sirius sang, blowing him a kiss. “You’re the interesting-est person here! You’re great! Now bye!”

Sirius ran off, Mary in tow. Remus eyed the window beside him, wondering if he could slip out into the night and not be stuck in the same room as twenty people he didn’t know.

(If it was also because he couldn’t stand to watch Sirius kiss someone who wasn’t him, that was between him and the moon.)

—————

“Moony!” Sirius called over the blaring music. “Hi, can I go home now?”

Remus sighed at the state his best friend was in. “Yeah, c’mon. I’m driving.”

“Great! Thanks, Moons!” Sirius grinned. “Love you!”

It’s just the beer, Remus told himself. He’s just drunk. He doesn’t mean it.

But what if he does? A different part of himself asked. How would we know?

But he doesn’t. He’s straight.

Right. But what if-

Shut up.

Remus walked out of the door, Sirius in tow. He was saying a few goodbyes to the people he had befriended during that whole… situation.

They headed for Sirius’s Range Rover- one of the many perks of being rich. 

Remus had the keys in his hand, as Sirius had handed them to him before the party, citing how he didn’t want to accidentally drunk drive and murder an ex or something.

Just as Remus was about to back the Rover out of the parking space, Sirius took his face in his hands and kissed him.

Fuck.

Remus pulled away from what seemed to be the first breath of air in his nineteen years of life. “Sirius, what was that?”

“I love you, Moony,” Sirius said dopily. “You’re just so pretty, I had to kiss you.”

“Thanks,” Remus said stonily.

Internally, it was like Sirius had dropped a bomb in the middle of Remus’s warring mind, leaving both sides reeling from the impact.

He was no longer sure of what to say or do.

—————

Soon enough, they were at Sirius and Regulus’s flat.

Remus got out of the car, waking up a half-asleep Sirius.

“Whazzit?” he asked, looking around. His face brightened when he saw Remus. “Hi, Moony!” he cheered.

“Hey, Padfoot,” Remus mumbled. “Come here, we’re gonna get you home.”

“Oh, I’m home? Thanks, Rem!”

“Yeah, of course.” Remus helped Sirius get upright, letting him lean on his lanky body as they walked up the driveway.

As they neared the door, Sirius giggled. He then turned so that his and Remus’s bodies were close together, and they were face to face. 

“Thank you, Remmy,” he smiled, kissing him. “Can you stay for a bit? I think I might be lonely, since Reg is out with James tonight.”

And what was Remus’s purpose other than to make Sirius happy?

He was a weak, weak man, after all.

[illbisexual]

Yellowjackets at a party Warnings: Gender neutral reader, swearing, mention of drugs/alcohol & smoking Pairings: lottie, van, taissa, Laura lee, mari, akilah, shauna, jackie, Natalie, misty x gn!reader Proofread: nope ! Note: in all of these reader and the char are together! I am not american so some of the terms may be wrong and I've never been drunk or drank an excessive amount of alcohol so this is probably inaccurate

Lottie

Cigarette and solo cup in one hand, other hand intertwined with your own

She drags you along when she talks to people

Arm round your shoulder CONSTANTLY

She makes you reapply her lipstick for her when it smudges off on her cup

She was at your house before the party helping you decide on an outfit

"I think you should wear this" and she proceeds to pull a shirt out of your closet you haven't wore since middle school "okay fuck off go sit down and be quiet"

Laura Lee

She wears the cutest looking outfits ever like omg

She has her arm wrapped around yours the entire time

Frowns if you even so much as sniff any of the beer n shit

She manages to get your guys' song blaring out the speakers

Proceeds to force you to dance with her and if you don't she frowns and goes to get one of the yellowjackets

Natalie

Oh shes right by the keg

You attempt to share drinks with her (however she drinks at least 3 quarters and then shoves the cup in your hand while she goes to get more)

Gets you to light her cigarette for her

She repeatedly puts her arm around your shoulder and pulls you into her side

Usually takes whatever drugs her friends have got

Can't walk in a straight line when its time to go home

Rubs her eyeliner into a huge smudge and looks like a raccoon

Mari

Shes the life of the party no questions asked

Spills atleast half of her drink because shes jumping around the place

Screams the lyrics to whatever songs playing as she twirls you around

Drags you to the bathroom with her so she can check her makeup and you just watch

This girl is always tripping over her feet I swear

Whenever she loses you she starts screaming like a banshee

"BABE??? WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU??" "MARI TURN AROUND." "oh! Whered you go?"

Stands outside the bathroom like a dog waiting for you whenever you go in

Akilah

Gets separated from you so easily like oh my gosh 😭

Shes there holding your hand when youre walking through a group one second and the next shes gone

You then spend the next couple of minutes searching for her

And shes usually over with one of the yellowjackets she had managed to find

"Oh, there you are. Took you long enough" with a smile whenever you walk over

You guys hold hands and spin in a circle like its a middle school dance

Misty

She made you help her with makeup before the party (if she wore any)

spent a while trying to decide on her hairstyle

When you guys get there she clings onto you like a koala bear

Sings out of key with you

She drags you over to find somewhere quiet to sit (granted there's no where super quiet but just one where there isn't a lot of people)

She always needs to have her eyes on you like omg

Jackie

Spends her time doing stupid shit with you

She routinely goes missing from your side

When she eventually returns she sometimes has shauna in tow

However, she always leaves for a reason and its to get gossip

"Babe you'll never guess what me and shauna just found out about.."

At the end of the night shes either spilled her drink on herself, you, or someone else

She somehow ALWAYS ends up losing a piece of jewellery whether its an earring, a ring, or a bracelet

Makes you search for it as she coaches you on where to look

Shauna

Gripping your hand because she doesn't like the fact randy is near you guys (she cannot STAND his ass as we all know)

She trips over herself and drops her cup

Picks it up and walks back to the keg with her head down in embarrassment

Gets gossip with Jackie and then reports back to you

When she drinks enough she starts laughing at EVERYTHING

"Name" "what?" and her ass bursts out giggling

She is so stewpid..

Van

The minute you guys get there her hand is wrapped around your wrist and shes dragging you to get a drink with her

Spends the night making stupid ass jokes

"Hey. 2 goldfish are in a tank together, and one turns to the other one," "..uh huh." "And it asks 'hey, do you know how to drive this thing?'"

She routinely breaks away from you to go say hi/chat with other people

Forces you to dance with her and she spins you around (however she doesnt really need to force you)

Makes you spin her around too

You guys go into the bathroom together and start throwing water at eachother

When you wait outside the bathroom for her she comes out with wet hands from washing them and pretends to sneeze before she shakes the water onto you

Before you guys leave she re-fills her cup for the road 😭

taissa

Endless yapping

Only time she shuts up is to have a drink

When you guys walk she holds your hand and swings your guys' arms 😭

Everytime she finishes a drink she flips the cup around and tries to land it upside down

Which she fails almost every single time

She makes you come with her to say hi to everyone (even if you don't know the person)

You have to make her dance with you but it doesn't take a lot of convincing

By the time its time to go her hair is all messed up and she's lost atleast one accessory (whether its the bandana she was wearing, a necklace, an earring, etc.)

Usually finds it within like a couple minute of searching

[honestlyitsjustsam]

The mfs on twt going “eheh the new sh fans are infantilizing james they dont get the game” no we do

We realize that he killed his wife in cold blood also realize that he loved his wife but his feelings turned to resentment and hatred because of her sickness. he was also a high uncomfortable person as he got sexually frustrated to a point that got him imagine those sexualized monsters and nurses, but he also got this incredible guilt and hatred for himself for thinking like that thus went to silent hill as its a place that attracts the guilty and emotionally disturbed, if he didnt love his wife and felt responsible for her death he wouldnt have gone to silent hill and yes he wouldnt need to go there if he didnt kill mary

yes he killed his wife yes he felt terrible guilt because of it yes he is a bad person yes the remake made him sympathetic by the incredible acting of luke roberts, yes you are supposed to dislike him but still understand that he is a human being and even good people do evil deeds sometimes

omg people realize the complex and well written side of him and still think because of his puppy eyes, soft voice and handsome face he should be pegged and sexualized in the fandom space YALL ARE SO LAME

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 47

chapter 72:

1. “The day of Marlene's memorial is the first time Dorcas decides she's going to kill herself.” oh shit, oh fuck wait

2. bro dorcas is unwell. like holy shit. i forget that the war started because of dorcas’ love for marlene. like. this is just as much of a dorlene fic too

3. dear god i wanna help dorcas so badly

4. call it instinct, but i knew dorcas’ hair would be a crucial part of her healing journey 💃🏼💃🏼

5. i love well rounded female characters but at what cost. dorcas is well rounded but at what cost? she’s suffering and it hurts to read

6. god damn. finding out that dorcas’ mom was in charge of a quarterly quell is fucking insane. considering that dorcas all but ran the resistance

7. “”You said it first, didn't you? There are no good people in war. I lived by those words, did you know that? All that you were wrong about, but that…" She gives a brittle laugh. "You were right about that."”

foaming at the mouth oh my god. i wanna chomp glass

8. DORCAS NO! (she started drinking fyi)

9. dear god dorcas, you aren’t the only one who knew the “real” marlene. people other than you loved her.

10. dorcas finally admitting that if she could choose someone other than dorcas it would be lily hurts. especially since lily has mary.

11. “Marlene was the love of her life, and that's it. Simple as that. She'll never love another.” OWWWWW

12. “She will make sure Lily never knows that Dorcas looks at her now and thinks before this life, it could have been us; maybe in some other life, it is. And that's more than enough.”

DNDNSMMSJSKEJNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

13. brb i’m sobbing

okay i’m back. dorcas just found out marlene was gonna propose and now i’m a sniveling mess

14. so much thanks to bizzarestars making the effort to learn about the way war vets healed and dealt with ptsd

chapter 73:

1. sirius having an emotional support dog >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2. also imma make predictions now: this is the chapter where sirius goes home. it’s time

3. YES YES YES YES THEYRE GOING HOME FUCK YEAH

4. “A homely little home with a porch-swing under the stars. Sirius is homesick for that, too.”

this is my dream too. like it’s been my dream for so long. i can’t even fathom how sirius isn’t bawling like a baby over this. IM bawling like a baby over THEIR porch swing

5. regulus saw sirius and was willing to risk it all just to hug him omg

6. “Barty was the sort of person who needed no outside guidance into being a bit insane.” LMAOOOOOO

7. they’re running a business together and they’re gonna do it forever and now i want to gnaw on wood and glass and plastic and anything i can get my hands on

8. lmao not sirius sitting like a spoiled puppy dog as james and regulus argue over him for the wedding

9. “"Oh, please," James scoffs, rolling his eyes. "One, I'm not stealing your brother away from you, and you know it. Two, who the fuck else would be my best man, hm? Who? Go on."

"Oh, you want to go there?!" Regulus shouts. "What about me? Yeah, didn't think about that, did you? My best friend is dead. Oh, and so is Barty. Who do I have, James? Hm?"”

FUCKING CACKLING

10. awwwww sirius’ compromise is so sweet omg. i’d literally cry if i was james and regulus

11. ugh gay people are so confusing. like you’re allowed to be freinds with the same people and freinds with any gender. so like, it makes wedding planning so hard. who goes on who’s side? what if i said that when i found out about gay people, my biggest hold up wasn’t religion or anything like that, but instead wedding side logistics

12. canonical genderqueer tonks!!!!!!!!!

13. regulus went to aberforth to cause a scene, and damn if he didn’t succeed

14. damn they’re both stubborn. and both got their way jfc

15. full circle. dorcas is designing their wedding clothes. i’m losing my mind, actually

16. the bookshelf. the fucking bookshelf from the first arena. i’m losing my mind oh my god

17. CACKLING OMG. REGULUS WAS WORRIED THAT JAMES WOULD BE SCARED OF THE DAGGERS, BUT INSTEAD HE GOT SO FUCKING TURNED ON OMG

18. STILL FUCKING CACKLING OMG

19. i didn’t know i needed insecure james, but oh i did

20. i get to read the crimson rivers jegulus wedding and oh my fucking god i’m losing it. i am so unbelievably happy

21. “For him, it's easiest to show love when it's a tragedy.”

dksjdjjsjdjsmdjske holy shit

22. “You're hesitating, love."”

AHDHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

23. “You might wish to know a lot of things about their wedding, and their love, but frankly, it's no one's business but theirs.” so feral over this. that’s literally one of the biggest themes of the story omg i love this

24. hi, anyways, i am so unwell

25. the authors notes about the wedding are golden

[banana-can-do-art]

(Spoilers for The Spirit Bares its Teeth ahead) Guys I just finished reading “The Spirit Bares Its Teeth” by Andrew Joseph White and I just I rhriidjsbsjsnejdjdjdhej. I don’t think I’ve been this invested in a book that’s not connected to a series I already know since middle school.

This book was so addictive I read in less than I a week it’s sooooo good. I already got his other book “Compound Fracture” from the library and I’m waiting for “Hell Followed With Us” as well. I’m the most excited for the that one religious trauma is very intriguing to me bc of my old religious ocd obsession.

Anyway back to this book in itself it manages to tackle so so so many really dark subjects and themes but I feel like it does it tastefully. Every horrible thing that happens feels like it happens for a thematic reason. This book is shows how trans people have always existed despite those in power trying to push them down. Which by the way is a message that we very much need right now.

At the same time through characters like Mrs. Forrester and Charlotte, it shows the harm of people who go along with a system even though it hurts them because they think that it will protect them somehow even though in the end they are still the same. They will always be crazy Veil sick women in the eyes of the speakers. It’s written in a way that you almost pity them and feel bad especially with the whole scene with the glass in Mrs. Forrester’s shoes, but she’s still hurting Silas and the others, so while what she does is understandable, it’s never excused. I think that they are specifically a metaphor for movements like LGB without the T and how people will throw others in their own community under the bus. Which can I just say as a member of the L, I hope you know that if we ditch trans people, our rights will be taken next.

Also I really enjoyed the conversations about misogyny, especially from the really unique perspective of a trans man who is being lumped in with women and treated like one and therefore experiences the misogyny that women face while also not actually being one himself. He even remarks how he will always feel a bond with women because society insists on seeing him as one.

Also his narrative voice is sooooo compelling. Funneling so much of the narration through his special interest in surgery makes the descriptors so interesting. Making his special interest surgery makes it so that even when nothing bad is happening (which to be fair is rare) we’re still hearing all about organs so the sense of unease is kept.

Also the graphic gore descriptors are actually crazy and had me visibly making repulsed noises by just the beginning. I was also making repulsed noises at the disgusting age gaps and the way that the men talk to the girls eeeeewwwww, but that’s how you’re meant to feel, so good job I guess.

I also absolutely adore Daphne. She’s so sweet. Her and Silas connection by is amazing and her being there provides a dimension ray of hope throughout the narrative. She is something to keep Silas going and gives him the knowledge that there is something better in the other side. Although I’m so confused how she tattooed her back. Like girliepop I assume you did that yourself, but like how did you reach?! Girl what?!

Also I feel so bad for Mary in the epilogue when she refers to the ring of Frances as her wedding ring and says that Frances is her wife. That’s so saaaad I can’t ureiksnrjsksnhdjejshd.

Also everything that happened to Agnes was so messed up. I know that’s the point but omg she was like fourteen.

Also can I just say I called George being a speaker who was helping with all of the bad stuff from the moment Silas thought that the voices of the people in the masks sounded familiar. On that note, George is the worst! How could you turn your back on your brother like that?!

Also I love how the pages alternate to black with white text when the spirits hunger to have their brief povs.

Also I appreciate how when the SA happens they don’t put it on page for you to read. They allow you to experience the horror of knowing what’s happening and leaving any details to your imagination without forcing you to sit through it because that is another level of bad. Also with the blank space there it can be assumed that Silas is dissociating or something which makes sense. Although it could be because it’s a YA. Although I heard something about the author working on an adult novel and if that’s true I’ll probably read it as well but I’m frightened with what he’ll be able to put in there since this book is already pushing the limits of YA and has some vile stuff in it.

Also that whole scene before Isabella dies was horrifying to read through. That was so scary. But it also was a very interesting conversation about women’s rights to their own bodies and women throughout history have performed extremely risky abortions before it was legal. Omg the description of the fetus when Silas ripped it out was disgusting though. I’ll admit that I was noticing some death flags for Isabella before that scene especially with her man, but I didn’t expect her to go out like that omg.

Also the headmaster is disgustingly, he got what he deserved, I hate him! Also, despite white they did, I hope that Charlotte and Mrs, Forrester are somewhere safe now though. Although I don’t know if that would mess with the message of their characters being that throwing other people under the bus who are the same as you in essence will not keep you safe.

Also Lord Luckenbill is disgusting and also got what he deserved. I did predict that he probably knew what was happening and that he was going to backstab them, especially when I saw how many pages were left even after Silas was supposedly safe. Although I did not expect him to try to marry and assault Silas because he looks like his old wife who it seems since she was supposedly veil sick too, he most likely abused. Ew, that was so gross of him to do. Although, Silas finally overcoming his fear and everything engrained into him by his tutors to fight back was so epic, you go king!

You know what else was epic? The scene where he released all of the ghosts and they were breaking the building down while Silas was running back down to the basement, that was so cooooool!!!!

You know what wasn’t epic? That whole scene with Harriet. Omg that was absolutely horrifying. The description of her hollowed out eyes and lack of tongue was certainly some imagery. Also Mrs, Forrester slipping and showing emotion towards her for a moment so that we can see that despite everything Mrs. Forrester is just a very broken human was so sad.

Also while as far as I’m aware I’m not autistic myself (I mean I’m not trans either but it’s very important to have this kind of representation and everyone should read books with characters who are different to them) I really enjoyed getting the autistic representation from Silas and I thought that his perspective was made all the more interesting through it. I also love how he bonds with the groundskeeper because despite not having the words for it they are both autistic and they can see the similarities in themselves. Also the groundskeeper I think is really positive representation of a nonverbal autistic person that we don’t get to see often. The narrative doesn’t treat him as a baby or a burden, he is his own person who has his own life and can make his own decisions. I love his moment with Silas when Silas says he’s glad to have met him before the groundskeeper uses his shovel to help Silas break into the Headmaster’s office. Actually I feel kind of bad just calling him the groundskeeper, I’d love to know his actual name. He feels like a William for some reason and no not because of that other thread, he just does, if you know you know lol. Or maybe Garry.

Also I’m like obsessed with the art on the covers of all of the Andrew Joseph White books, especially this one because I am an absolute sucker for purple and yellow together. (If you follow me in enough places you’ve probably seen the OC that I’m obsessed with that also has this color scheme). Actually though, if anyone knows who the artist is please tell me where I can find more of their work because this is absolutely stunning and gorgeous and beautiful and amazing.

Anyway, yeah those are my very rambely garbled thoughts after finishing the book. If for whatever reason you read through all that even though it was super spoilery without reading the actual book, then I highly recommend you read it as it is very good and also has very good themes and social commentary. However, I would also highly recommend you check the trigger warnings because this book tackles a lot of very dark subjects and it does not shy away from them.

Also, remember to support the trans people in your life during this very scary time for them.

[antspaul]

i read your replies on cults/high control groups and thought hmm, i'm not sure 'unless you literally live under a rock, you know people who have been or are currently in cults' is true - in that i know nobody religious/spiritual at all irl except my now-dead church of england grandma, etc. but your point about MLMs made me stop in my tracks because actually thinking about it as a high control group in the same way - with inside terminology and high demands on loyalty and kind of rote ways of counteracting outside disapproval/questioning - made my brain go '!!!!'. not really a question so much as thanks because that's interesting and i'd never thought of it that way. but, as it's an ask box, a question: what was the point in your life in which you realised how you lived/the people you interacted with wasn't how everyone else was? were you very entrenched in it i.e. only saw other people in the group, or not? (feel free not to answer if you'd prefer not to of course!)

MLMs are SUCHHHHH a cult, omg. It’s an incredibly common comparison for people who left them to make! My favorite cult podcast, Trust Me, did a pretty good interview with a former high-ranking member of LulaRoe which explores this.

There’s also a pretty substantial overlap between people involved in an mlm and people involved in a cult. This is because cults often discourage members, especially female members, from having regular jobs. MLMs appeal to these women because they claim to offer flexibility and financial independence while also giving them a source of income (and many cults come with very high financial requirements to membership). my mom (despite working throughout my entire childhood) was briefly involved with pampered chef, mary kay, and probably a few other MLMs i don't remember lol

to answer your questions: (below the cut because it's long)

i grew up in an area where nondenom fundie churches weren’t uncommon, so a lot of the stranger parts of my childhood probably flew under the radar. but i always knew that i was different because my parents and everyone else in my group told me so! they very much wanted to impress on us that we were special because we were among the few had access to the Whole Truth. everyone else was Of The World and not worth my time (unless i was trying to convert them) and also probably possessed by demons.

it was also very easy to tell that i was different than my peers because all of them went to brick and mortar churches and i didn't. in fact i was taught that brick and mortar churches were physical evidence of Religion and Tradition (basically synonyms). And Religion was evil because its practices were rooted in the thinking of men, corrupted by the Devil, and did not actually reflect God's Will.

i was very entrenched in the group and believed in it wholeheartedly. i'm not sure i ever truly enjoyed being a member, though; i found it very painful and confusing to believe that my friends were evil.

i went to public school for k-12, thank god. my parents wanted to homeschool us, which was recommended by my cult leader and what a lot of kids my age in the group did. but iirc, they couldn't figure out the financial side of things and eventually just decided to enroll us in our local school. i am so incredibly thankful that i wasn't homeschooled. otherwise i doubt that i would have had the sort of experiences that resulted in a slow burn deconstruction for me, starting in middle school and coming to a head around the time i left for college.

i wasn’t completely discouraged from making friends, but i wasn't particularly encouraged either. essentially i was not expected to prioritize those friendships at all. since my group was quite decentralized (it's quite small and national, meaning that my family was the only family belonging to our particular splinter group within a 2-3 hour drive) i grew up feeling quite alienated from my peers and yet did not have another social group in the cult to replace them. i had friends at school, and there were other reasons for my social isolation (autism/adhd - not that my parents believed i had those problems, lol). but in general walking around thinking that you're special and different and what happens on the earthly plane simply Does Not Matter In The End and also The Rapture Is Imminent doesn't exactly lead to a fruitful social life, lol.

i genuinely appreciate the conversation & am glad that that those posts resonated with you!