#OKAY. HOW DO I PUT THIS. I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO
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Hey babe, i love every Nathan fic that you wrote, and if you’re open to request and feeling fluffy would you do the honor to tell us what happen after Need You? I just want to snuggle up with Nathan so badddfdd, Thank You🥰
Awww <3 <3 <3 Of course!
Thank You
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Nathan Bateman x gn!Reader • Rating: PG pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • buy me a coffee? • ask-travaganza masterlist •
Summary: Nathan is tired.
Warnings: Fluff, cuddles, Nathan being playfully grumpy, teasing, not beta read, please let me know if I have missed a warning!
Word Count: 630
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“Hurry the fuck up.” Nathan says from the doorway. He stares at you a little more intensely than he normally would because his glasses are already off and on the bedside table.
You snort and nearly choke to death swallowing toothpaste. You manage to spit it out into the sink. “I’m brushing my teeth?” 
“You’re taking hours.”
“It’s been two minutes.”
“Far too long,” he uncrosses his arms, “You’ll damage your gums, come on.” He moves towards you and you yelp and giggle, brandishing your toothbrush like a weapon.
He pauses and smiles. 
“Let me wash my mouth, then I’ll come to bed. I’m not having you drag me again.” 
“Why?” He grins, pretending to start to move closer. “You liked it last time.” 
“I did n-” You stop yourself, you’re not even going to try to argue with him when he’s in this kind of mood. No matter what you say he’ll throw something else back, playfully of course. And over the top. And incorrect. It wasn’t worth the energy. 
So you poke your tongue out at him quickly before you turn and rinse your mouth with water.
His hands around your waist make you laugh. “Nathan.” 
“What?” He leans his chest onto your back like a baby koala. “You're comfy.” 
“Oh my god.” You mutter, but there’s humour in your voice. “You big baby,”  you tease as you stand. 
“Yes.” He pauses, meeting your eyes in the bathroom mirror. “Don’t make me do the baby voice again.” 
“Okay! You win.” You grin, turning to hug him and he kisses your cheek. 
“Bedtime.” He whispers and you just about manage to jump out of his grasp before he tries to pull you to bed. “Hey.”
“I’m going to bed!” You laugh as you dance out of the room and get under the covers. 
He smiles, turning off the bedside lamp and quickly joining you. He pulls off his t-shirt as you both get comfortable. He quickly urges you onto your side, so he can hug you, being the big spoon. 
The second your head hits the pillow he’s tugging at your top. “Take this off.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Why do you want it off?” 
“Want to feel your skin.” He grumbles, “Instead all I can feel is this.” He pulls at your top again, snapping it back a little. 
“Ow.”
“Sorry, also that didn’t hurt.” 
“How do you know it didn’t hurt?” 
He shrugs. “Wasn’t that hard.” 
“You don’t know what it felt like to me.” You give him a look over your shoulder and he kisses your cheek. 
“I can tell you real ‘ow’, from that fake ‘ooowww’ any day of the week.” 
You poke your tongue out at him again.
“Very mature.” He grins, “If you don’t stop doing that I’m gonna give you something to put in your mouth.” 
“I thought you were tired.” 
“I am.” He pushes his hands up under the bottom of your shirt. “A goodnight blowjob, that sounds great.”
You shake your head and laugh, but help him to take your top off so that he can snuggle you to your back. “You really want a blowjob?” 
“Always, but I don’t think I’d get it up for a billion dollars at the moment,” he yawns, curling up closer to you. “You can try though.” You know his eyes are already shut and he’s just playing, but you still make a show of pretending to try to turn over and paw at his waistband. 
“Nooo,” he mutters softly, rubbing his face and beard into your back. “Sleepy time.” He kisses your skin and breathes deeply, finally able to relax. 
You chuckle and settle back down to go to sleep. 
“Thank you.” You hear him mumble just before he dozes off. “For coming to bed.” 
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jjonglemons · 2 days ago
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all my works can be found here
As You Are
i needed a cathartic one-shot, so here's a projection of my own internalized gender issues lmao. this one goes out to all my fellow afab nonbinary folks
Summary: jongho planned a nice night out for the two of you, and when he notices you aren’t feeling your best, he makes sure to remind you just how amazing you are.
WC: 1.7k
Tags: trigger warning (body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, self-hatred, mild self-harm), established relationship, non-idol!jongho, nb!reader, afab!reader, fluff
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“No,” you muttered, unbuttoning your white blouse with a sigh of frustration, “not this.” You took it off and tossed it back onto the bed amongst the other three tops you tried on already. Each of them were just “too” something for how you were feeling this evening. Groaning, you threw yourself onto the bed, grabbing one of the pillows and burying your face into it.
There was a soft knock on the bedroom door. “Love?” Jongho called out softly, creaking the door open so he could step into the room. “Is everything okay? You’ve been getting ready for a while now…” He took note of how you were sprawled across the bed with your face covered. Having been together for nearly five years, he knew exactly what that position meant. Jongho pushed your clothes out of the way so he could sit down. You felt the bed dip beside you as he comfortingly placed his hand on your thigh. “Want to talk about it?”
“No,” you grumbled, pulling the pillow away so you could look at him, “I just want to have fun tonight and don’t know what to wear.”
“Want me to pick something out for you?”
Despite still having no idea what you were feeling up to wearing, you were tired of thinking about it. Whether you ended up feeling comfortable or uncomfortable in his choice of outfit, you just wanted to be on your way already, so it didn’t matter. You’d deal with it.
“Please,” you pouted, eyes begging like a puppy.
Jongho let out a light chuckle, patting your thigh where his hand rested as he stood up. "Of course." You watched him rummage around the closet for a few minutes, eventually settling on a simple black t-shirt and grey acid-washed jeans. You managed to let out a sigh of relief seeing his choice was neutral in many aspects. You hoped once you put it on, your anxiety would settle.
“Do you want help getting dressed?” Jongho offered, placing the clothing on the bed beside you. Something he became accustomed to during your relationship was when you struggled with clothing, he’d help dress you. It sounded silly, and perhaps childish, but when your mind wasn’t in the best place with these types of situations, you really just needed an extra hand to help guide you through it. Jongho often coaxed you with sweet compliments and kisses all over your face, shoulder, and back as he did this to remind you just how much you meant to him. 
“Yes,” you nodded, slowly rising from the bed and moving over towards him. 
He carefully pulled the t-shirt over the top of your head, leaving a light trail of kisses on your back as he followed it down your spine to your hips. “You look so good in everything, love,” he whispered, “what a star you are!”
You blushed and bit your lip, turning around to face him once he finished dressing you. “Thank you for always being so kind to me,” you gushed, placing your hands on his cheeks and pulling him in for a kiss.
“Anything for you,” he smiled, pecking your nose as you parted.
You picked up your jeans off the bed, sliding them on slowly, one leg at a time. Truthfully, your depressive feelings left you heavy and unable to move at what you considered a normal pace. Jongho wrapped his arms around you from behind, moving his hands to your waistband to button your pants for you.
“Are you sure you still want to go out?” Jongho asked, turning you around to face him once more. “I can cancel the reservation; I am more than happy to have a night in instead”
You shook your head. “No, I want to go out. We haven’t had the chance in ages, who knows when we’ll have this opportunity again?”
Jongho took your hands into his, “as long as you're okay,” then kissed the top of your head.
“I am,” you nodded, reassuringly.
The drive to your destination was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Jongho was always careful not to pry when you weren’t feeling your best. He trusted you’d open up when you were ready, and every past experience had proven that to be true thus far. You glanced at the sign on the building with curiosity as Jongho parked the car.
“Axe throwing?” You asked, a smile playing at your lips
Jongho nodded. “I remember you talking about wanting to try it.”
“Ah, thank you!” You squealed, throwing your arms around him. He jumped at your sudden movement, bumping his elbow on the door with a small yelp. “Sorry, my bad.” You apologised, retracting while looking at him sympathetically.
Jongho laughed before leaning over to kiss your cheek. “All good, my love. Now, let’s go fuck up some wood!”
To your surprise, you were actually quite good. You managed to beat Jongho by a good ten points by the end of the game.
“Let me just run to the bathroom really quickly before we leave,” You said, indicating the bathroom door as you passed it near the exit of the building. Jongho reached his arm out, signaling for you to hand him your jacket so you wouldn’t have to drag the hefty monster in with you. You thanked him before making your way into the restroom.
You hated when rooms had the mirror directly in view when you walked in. You felt your body cringe at the sight of your reflection, but you forced it away. You made your trip quick, avoiding the mirror as you passed by it again to exit the bathroom.
Jongho’s smile immediately dropped upon seeing your face when you came out. If there’s one thing you were really bad at, it was hiding your feelings. They oozed out far too strongly in your body language.
“What happened?” He asked gently, passing back your jacket.
You sighed. “Let’s just talk at home, yeah?”
Quietly, he nodded, following behind you to the car. Just like the ride from home was silent, the ride back was the same. Except this time, the air felt much heavier. Jongho to caution to not push you when you got back into the house, simply taking a seat on the living room couch. He sipped patiently at the glass of water he’d left on the side table earlier whilst you two were getting ready.
A few minutes later, you sat down beside him, playing with your fingers. You started to pick at the skin of them nervously. Jongho noticed, deciding to softly take your hands into his to keep you from further harming yourself. Thankfully it hadn’t gotten too bad, but knowing about your past, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared of you relapsing. 
“Talk to me, love,” he said delicately. Upon his words, you began to cry, more than you expected yourself to. Jongho watched you with concern, rubbing his thumb over your palms in hopes to help calm you down. “Shhh,” he cooed, pulling you closer to him so he could wrap his arms around you, “I’m here. I’m here.”
“I-I,” you began, choking on your words, “I just felt so disgusting today. I didn’t feel good in anything, even the clothes you picked out for me. I’m sorry,” you sniffed. “I just feel so fucking ugly sometimes.”
“You've done nothing wrong, please don't apologize," he assured. "What is making you feel this way, darling?”
“I just wish…” you trailed off for a moment to breathe. “I just wish I was fucking normal. Why can’t I just feel like the body I was given? Why does my life have to be more complicated with these stupid fucking feelings? What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing is wrong with you.”
“I don’t hate my body,” you added, “but at the same time, I do. I either feel disgusted for what it is in general, or with the implications it comes with.”
“Love,” Jongho whispered, placing light kisses on your cheeks over where your tears lay, “you are the most beautiful human being I have ever come across. I am so, so sorry that you aren’t feeling that way right now. I know it’s difficult.”
“I wish I could see it that way, Jjongie,” you cried, “but right now, I can’t. How do you even love me, anyway? Looking like this. Being like this. I’m supposed to be a woman, right? Why don’t I feel that way then, hm? Why is my brain like this?”
“Your gender doesn’t change how I feel about you, my love.”
You wished Jongho’s words were getting through to you, but you were so caught up in your pain, you just kept overflowing with anger and ignoring them instead. “I do feel like a woman, but not all the time. Sometimes it feels right, other times so, so wrong. The same goes for any gender I experience. I just want to feel okay. Feel good in my skin. Is that so much to ask?”
Jongho shook his head, lifting your chin tenderly so you could look up at him. “Not at all.” He kissed you. “I may not understand everything you experience, but I do understand enough to know that it’s not easy, and I’m willing to do everything I can to help you feel safe, seen, and loved.”
You began to feel at ease, having released the feelings you had been harbouring all night and finally allowing Jongho’s words to reach you. Jongho knew about these things already. Hell, if it’s been five years already and he hasn’t left you, it’s safe to say he wasn’t going to. He truly loved you, deeper than you could ever imagine. You knew it, too, despite all of the lies your head would tell you at times.
“Can we just stay like this for a while?” You asked, nuzzling yourself further into him. 
“Of course.”
When you awoke a few hours later, you found yourself in bed with Jongho spooning you. You took a deep breath, finally feeling okay. In his arms, you always did. “I love you, Jongho,” you whispered.
“Mmmm,” he stirred, lazily kissing your neck. “I love you the most.”
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Save Grim
Save the school
Fire raged around them as they stood in the ruins of the mirror chamber, 7 house wardens, five vice house wardens, five faculty members, ten normal students, and one magicless student. Their opponent? A chimera with blue flames, standing taller than any of them could stand. All of them were exhausted, they were fighting a losing battle, Yuu was running out of their cards, specific moments in time, captured by the ghost camera that hung at their waist, each one captured a moment of everyone here, even a few that weren’t there. They only had three left, three familiar cards that they’d poured their heart and soul into.
“We have to do something, at this rate we all will die.” Riddle said, his cape torn, his staff bent nearly in half from when the chimera had attacked him.
“It’s Grim, I don’t know what’s going on but I know my friend, he’s still in there!” Yuu tried to defend their friend, their classmate, their annoying cat. Grim had been there since Yuu had gotten to Night Raven College, they couldn’t give him up, not now, not after everything they’d been through.
“Yuu, he’s not Grim anymore, I doubt there’s anything left of who he once was. We have to put him down just like any other rabid dog.” Crewel said, trying to explain the direness of the situation to the beast tamer.
“Please! He’s still Grim, please, I just, I,” It was hard to speak, hard not to cry when they might have to kill Grim. Bronze light appeared in front of them as two choices appeared, choices that appeared when they got tongue-tied or had to make a hard decision. Their heart sank to their stomach when they saw the two choices
Save Grim
Save Night Raven College
This was it, their only two choices. Yuu could save Grim, their friend, their ally, their dorm mate, their annoying cat. Or they could save the school that brought such pain and heartache but at the same time gave them so many fond memories and friends. Yuu took a deep breath and steeled themselves as they made the decision.
Save Grim
“Let me try to get him back. He’s known me the longest, I have to at least try to get my dire beast back.” Yuu said with a steel resolve, “If I fail, then we can put him down. But I won’t do it without saying I gave it my all.”
“How many of those cards do you have left, Human,” Sebek asked, remembering each of those cards that he’d seen the human use in Lilias's dreams as they journeyed across Briar Valley.
“Three, so I’ll have to make them count.” Yuu said, pulling the three cards out of the side pocket of the carrying case they kept the ghost camera inside. The chimera had burnt the others to ash, these were their last ones so they had to make them count.
“Do it. But if you fail, Grim will have to be killed but don’t put yourself at risk for this foolish endeavor. I’m only allowing you to do this because I am so kind.” Crowley said, his top hat having been torn to shreds along with his cape, his mask barely hanging on.
Yuu glanced around at their friends, each one held dear in their heart. Each one looked tired, beaten, and covered in ash and grime from the long arduous battle. Some were okay with letting Yuu do this, and others tried to convince them to stay back. But Yuu had to do this.
With a deep breath, they marched through the ruins of the mirror chamber til they were halfway to the chimera who growled and roared at the magicless human.
“I shall reveal the shape of thy soul…” Yuu began, pulling the three cards out that they had left, “I summon thee to help me achieve my goal! Ceremonial Robes Riddle Rosehearts!” The card showing Riddle riding Vorpal the horse was thrown to the ground, summoning Riddle in his ceremonial robes, “Ceremonial Robes Kalim Al Asim!” A second card was thrown to the ground, showing Kalim spinning about gleefully in his ceremonial robes. Kalim appeared next to Riddle wearing the robes that Grim had once tried to steal from Yuu, “Ceremonial Robes Malleus Draconia!” the third and final card was thrown to the ground, the card depicting Malleus in his ceremonial robes challenging Leona. Malleus appeared next to Kalim.
Their true counterparts were behind them, watching with bated breath. Yuu remembered what the headmaster had said once about the ghost camera
‘It's a camera enchanted with a special kind of magic. It enables the user to photograph not just the subject's physical form, but parts of their soul itself. They're called Memories. Here's the thing: when the soul bond between photographer and subject deepens. The Memories captured in this magic camera's photos come jumping out! When the photographer and subject grow closer, their photographs grow animated like videos and sometimes the photographs take on corporeal form and slip out.’
That's what Yuu’s cards were, memories taken throughout their tenure at Night Raven College, memories that as they grew closer when it became necessary, their cards, their photos, their memories, their friends would fight for them. Just as they are now.
“Riddle, Kalim, Malleus! Help me get Grim to come to his senses!” Yuu commanded, pointing to the chimera.
Riddle looked cross and placed his hands on his hips before saying his signature line before battle, “Huh, you have some nerve.” Then the battle began. Flora, fire, water, and cosmic spells battled against Grim's fire and cosmic spells. But slowly slowly, the cards were defeated. Kalim fell first, then Riddle, and finally Malleus. The cards burnt to ash at Yuu’s feet. Before anyone could stop them, Yuu ran, ran as fast as their feet would carry them, and ran straight to the chimera that was once their best friend.
Yuu slowly approached the chimera when they got close enough, hands raised in surrender. “Hey Grim, it’s me, Yuu, your loyal henchman, your hench human. You must be so tired, I have some cans of tuna stashed away, your favorite brand, the the fancy kind. How how about we go home to Ramshackle and I’ll open up some for you, okay? Let’s go home, okay buddy? Okay, Grim? Let's go home together, Grim.” Yuu said softly, slowly moving closer, slowly putting their hand on Grim's muzzle.
For a moment, the briefest of moments, there was a flash of recognition in Grim's eyes. Yuu could have sworn that they heard Grim say, “Yuu?” Before his eyes darkened again. They almost didn’t realize it happened until they felt a searing pain in their abdomen. Grim had scratched them again, only deeper this time. Pain, white-hot pain bloomed in their abdomen as blood began to seep through their clothing as they collapsed to the ground.
They didn’t realize when the other attacks began, just the flashing and yelling of spells, curses, anything and everything to put down Grim. Before long it was over, the chimera collapsed near Yuu’s body. Yuu almost dragged their body to the dying chimera, stopping when they were right next to it, tears in their eyes as their body began to go numb. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Grim…” were Yuu’s last words before their vision began to go dark. They felt someone familiar take their hand, muffled voices begged Yuu to stay awake, that they'd get Yuu to a healer, but Yuu couldn’t see who was speaking, only muffled voices…
Beeep beeep beeep
“Mmmrm, what time is it..?” Yuu mumbled, slowly sitting up in their bedroom. Yuu looked around at their bedroom, the TV was playing the credits to some Disney movie, and from the open case next to the DVD player, it was Pinnochio. Alice In Wonderland, The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Snow White and The Seven Dwarves, Hercules, Sleeping Beauty, Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Nightmare Before Christmas, 101 Dalmatians, Beauty and The Beast, The Princess and The Frog, and Cinderella were stacked haphazardly next to the DVD player, their cases not quite closed.
“Mmh, that was a weird dream.” Yuu murmured, glancing around their room, feeling like something was off, “I feel like I’m forgetting something…” Yuu began to move off their bed only to hear a disgruntled meow, glancing over, Yuu saw their pet cat, a grey cat that they insisted was fluffy, NOT chubby.
Yuu gave the cat a few pets as an apology for bothering him before getting up, maneuvering past the laundry they still needed to put away, and walking past the mirror that hung on their wall that was supposed to encourage them to look and dress better. The same mirror that looked, familiar for some reason, it was on the tip of their tongue but they couldn’t place it and just shrugged it off. Like the saying went ‘If you can’t remember, it’s probably not important.’
Yuu went about their day, not noticing the faint silhouette in the mirror of an old friend whose hand they once took, the hand that once granted them salvation. They barely noticed the faint tugging in the back of their mind that they were forgetting something. They didn’t hear the pleading voice of their old friend, almost banging on the mirror, begging for Yuu to notice and take their hand again.
After all, it was just a dream. Wasn’t it?
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cranberrymoons · 4 months ago
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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james-spooky · 1 month ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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valeriehalla · 2 months ago
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I am so utterly fascinated by “Saki”, the 18-year-running mahjong manga in which you, the reader, become gradually, frog-boilingly aware (over the course of nearly two decades’ worth of mahjong tournaments) that none of these girls are wearing underwear and most of their boobs are slowly expanding.
I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:
the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and
the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.
Okay. Point 1. The frog-boiling.
Let me put this in perspective for you. There was already a meme about how the characters in “Saki” don’t wear underwear when I was in middle school. I am thirty now. Okay? And it’s still going.
In the time since, this has stopped being a joke. It is now indisputable canon. This is not because anyone outright says it at any point. It’s because the underwear ran out of places to hide. I’m obsessed with this thought: somewhere in the over 20 volumes of “Saki”, there is a panel in which underwear was objectively deconfirmed. And it would be so hard to figure out where that panel actually is. Maybe the artist didn’t even realize it when she drew it! The frog? Boiling!!
And of course there is also the breast expansion. I don’t know how to put a spin on this. They are just expanding. Like, this happens a lot with artists: you define a character as being, in your mind, “the one with the big boobs”, and over the years you emphasize that trait further and further so that the signal doesn’t get lost in the noise. It’s just that normally—in like a wildly popular manga series about mahjong published by literally Square Enix, for example—normally there would be a point at which the boobs stopped getting bigger. Like, an editor would step in or something. Or you would get to the point where you cannot draw the character in the same panel as her mahjong tiles without her breasts spilling over the tiles, and you’d go, “Well, this is now untenable.”
That did not happen. There is no ceiling. The frog is soup.
Point 2. The complete and utter mundanity of all of this.
It’s like this, okay: there’s no shortage of trashy ecchi manga out there. There’s a million other comics doing wildly bawdier things with wildly more improbable bishoujos.
The vibe with “Saki” is different.
It’s hard to explain this, but it feels like the world of the comic is fundamentally uninterested in the fanservice happening on the page. I cannot describe it as “leering”, because I cannot conceive of a person in the story from whose point of view one would leer. I think the artist is probably into it—I can’t imagine anyone is making her do this—but “Saki” the comic has no opinion on the matter.
There are essentially no male characters in “Saki”. Like, there was one guy? Kind of? At the very beginning? But he is gone now. They put him back in the toybox. He does not exist. It appears to be some level of canonical that in the world of “Saki”, almost all humans are women. Those women are sometimes romantically into each other. According to comments the artist has made on Twitter (which I cannot source), they have lesbian baby technology, so it’s no problem. It’s so much not a problem that the story is about mahjong, instead of any of that.
So, like, the fiction here appears to be this: this is the, like, meta-narrative of the fanservice of “Saki”, right: it’s just normal that they don’t wear underwear and their boobs are arbitrarily big. It’s been normal. It was normal before the story of the manga began. It’s just how things are. Nobody bats an eye about it, and if they do, it’s in sort of a lesbian kind of way so like what’s the problem, we love lesbians here. This is literally normal for girls.
The fanservice simply diffuses into this all-encompassing aura of disembodied, ambient sluttiness. The framing of the panels demands you acknowledge it, and the story demands you already be over it, because it’s mahjong time now, and we’re playing mahjong.
Do you get??? why I’m so fascinated??? Are you not a little enraptured???
Anyway, I have no idea how to end this weird post. I guess the conclusion is that women stay winning????
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dandy-lad · 7 months ago
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#i need to be away from here#gott i just...#im autistic right just fyi#and my mum does not treat me as if i were#like she has neurotypical standards for me which i have to meet otherwise there will be Bad Consequences#and this is killing me bc im not neurotypical#the only way she'll treat me as autistic is if i get officially diagnosed#which i kinda want but also dont want#and its just. she's. gott my relationship with her is so complicated but shes caused me so much hurt and trauma and pain and#thats what im feeling right now. that.#i should get a diagnosis for me not for her#but i dont think i can survive in this environment for much longer#i told my dad i might try get diagnosed (havent talked to him about autism before) n he was like “okay”#pretty much verbatim#which is realistically the best response i couldve had#then he went on a rant about how autism “didnt exist” in the past and how its caused by vaccines#and this drug which apparently helps with autism and when i said No im not doing that i dont want to be “cured” this is a thing that#shouldnt be cured he was like ??? then whyd you want a diagnosis#hhhh but that i can deal with. after 4 years of being subjected to his and my mums conspiracy theory bullshit i can put up with it#at first it really stressed me out but i can cope with it now and come up with well thought out and factual grounded counter arguments#n i told my mum that dads fine with me getting a diagnosis n then i asked her if when i get one she'll treat me as if i were autistic#and she laughed and was like wait until you get one#like she doesn’t think i am which shows how Fucking Little she knows about me and how much i have to hide from her#because shes always shouted at me for Every Autistic Trait i display#im never fucking good enough for her#she treats me and percieves of me as if im neurotypical and Im Not#i remember once (after something happened) i heard her shout “WHY CANT I HAVE FUCKING NORMAL CHILDREN” or something like that#that sticks with you.#that shit hurts and sticks with you#who gave this woman two queer autistic mentally ill children to raise who's fucking plan was that
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 8 months ago
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Heylo my maggotsies... I'm sorry to do this but I have a thing that I really, really need to do (thank you Ash for helping me realise that) but I'm terrified to. so well. I'm going to make one of the posts (Neil reblogged me a couple of days ago so I feel pretty safe making one now since he only lurks by once in two weeks so this is as good a time as it gets to make a post and not expect many notes, yes I'm an overthinker and I'm actually scared of this getting notes).
Sigh. Here goes.
...I'm scared of even typing it.
Nope okay I can do this let's go.
If this post gets 1k notes, I'll look up jobs in design and film making that don't need a college degree.
2k notes, I'll sign up for an Alliance Francaise course so I can have another language on my CV, and I'll find a course that teaches me how to use design software.
5k, I'll look up distance learning alternatives, because just talking about physical college yesterday made me spend the whole morning and afternoon today in and out of nightmares screaming. Fuck.
10k, I'll tell my mum that I can't do the offline college. She's been talking to me about it, but I've been dodging because I'm not well-off and I really need to be earning and idk how to do that without college and I feel so guilty.
15k, I'll officially back out from the college (does that count as dropping out, if it hasn't begun? maybe half. i am a college and a half dropout, my 11th grade self would hate me and my 10th grade self would refuse to believe it).
I don't know what I'll do then. I don't know how to live as trans here in India, I don't know how to earn enough to be able to help my family, I don't know what I'm good at and I'm so fucking terrified. But. I spoke to @random-doctor-on-the-internet last night (I love you Ash you're such a fucking amazing human) and they made me realise that well maybe landing in a hospital with steroids to relieve an allergy attack because of exam stress isn't normal and so.
Well. Here I am. I know I can't do it, but I'm scared to risk everything, it's just not something people do here, dropping out. But also (TW s**cide statistics mentioned below the cut)... And so I've just. Got to do it, got to save myself and say no to college (cue say no to school, kids joke). Somehow be brave enough. And yeah.
To quote a financial express article: "In an alarming situation, a total of 7,62,648 suicides were reported in India between 2018 to 2022, Of this student suicides account for 7.6% at 59,239". Maybe if more people did say fuck you to the system here, that wouldn't be the case. That number could have been 59,240 (aside from everyone who wasn't counted and hushed up), that could have been me, and I don't want to put myself in that situation again. You know? Yeah.
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soleilchanson · 22 days ago
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The one where Toji gets a buzz cut.
Masterlist
-•-
You dropped the grocery bags on the ground when you were greeted by your boyfriend.
But not out of excitement or happiness.
“No! Your glorious hair!” You dramatically walked to him so you could take a closer look at the damage. Toji, being the evil man he was, laughed at your response. “What d’ya think? I hated my hair covering my eyes while I was on missions so I tried something new.”
“Something new? You look like a felon!” You groaned as your hands roamed around his scalp, hoping for a miracle that would grow his hair back.
“Alright, that’s too far. I thought chicks dug this look.”
“Not on you! Maybe some weirdo that doesn’t look like an assassin for hire.”
“But I am one.”
“That’s besides the point, Toji. You’ve hurt me. By cutting off your hair you’ve also cut off any ties you had with me.” You sulk.
Toji was starting to feel self conscious even when he knew the adjustment phase would go away. “Do I really look that bad, doll?”
“No, but-“
“There’s a but? Okay, that’s it, I’m not touching you from now on. Since I look so bad, you can come to me when you find me attractive.” Okay this was turned into a real argument and you started to get agitated too.
“Fine! Let’s see who’ll last longer.”
Toji simply scoffed and walked back into his man cave.
Who knows how long you guys were planning to do this for?
-•-
A long time. You both can go without touching each other for a long time. It had been a week and a half without any physical intimacy but the relationship was normal, you both spoke about anything and everything. Neither of you were showing signs of caving in (or were just that good at hiding it).
It was a quiet afternoon. Toji was out buying some last minute ingredients for dinner and you were starting to miss him. And as much you hated to admit, the buzz cut was growing on you. Just the other day you had to fan yourself when you saw Toji doing pushups where he looked like an underground fighter prepping for his next match.
To distract yourself you decided to spend your time calling your friend instead. You put her on speaker while you organized your closet.
“Girl, what do you mean it’s ugly? It’s all the rage right now.”
“I know. I hated it when he first got it and now all I can think about is pouncing on him. Ugh, I hate myself.”
“You live together. Just go touch him, you fool.”
“No, I’ll lose and I can’t lose to him. He’s always winning bets between the two of us.”
The conversation went on for a few more minutes until your friend had some urgent business to attend to.
You turned around to grab the rest of clothes and shrieked when you saw a tall figure standing in the door way.
It was Toji. “Did you hear everything?”
“I’ve been here since you admitted that my haircut was hot. Do what you will with that info.”
You sighed as you sat down on the bed. “I guess that means you win.” He could tell you were pouting even when you were turned away from him. He smiled at your childishness and gathered you in his arms and made you lay on top of him as he laid down on the bed. “There, you won.”
“No, it doesn’t work like that. I admitted that I wanted you first so you’re still the winner.”
“Then you’ll be happy to know I’ve been thinking about pouncing on you since the day I got my haircut. I wanted to do it out of spite cause I knew you’d cave in but then we made that stupid bet.”
“Ugh, I’m so stupid. You do not look bad at all, Toji. In fact, you look like a hot felon. The type of felon that has a girlfriend who visits him.” You mumbled as you played with the collar of his t-shirt.
“Uhuh, and does she do overnight visits?” He then started attacking your face with kisses as you start giggling.
It was you and your hot felon against the world.
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monstersflashlight · 6 months ago
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Imagining a night creature with a reader who's afraid of the dark
Hi! I like that. This made me think of the monster under the bed I answered a few days ago (find it here). Also, when you sent this I already had a semi-planned story with a girl in a dark street (find it here). But I also got some inspo for this. The idea of the reader being afraid of the dark and the monsters lurking there… What she doesn’t know is that the monsters there don’t want to hurt her, just tease her little human body. This is sweeter than I normally write, but I hope you like it!
Sleeping in the dark
Night monster x fem!reader || Stalking, overstimulation, forced orgasms
You were always afraid of the dark. You couldn’t remember a time in your life when you didn’t feel anxiety creeping in the back of your neck every time a street was too dark, your curtains a bit too closed… Some people laughed about it, saying you weren’t a kid anymore, a grown woman shouldn’t be scared of the dark. But you couldn’t fight your fears, it was beyond your control.
That’s why you got a little lamp, always turned on so you could sleep better. Just knowing you weren’t in complete darkness, even in your sleep, made you feel a bit better. But you weren’t a lucky person, so when you woke in the middle of the night and the lamp was turned off, your anxiety picked with full force. Tears ran down your face instantly, your breath coming in fast exhales, almost hyperventilating.
“Hey, hey. Calm down.” A voice came from inside your closet, making you scream as a dark figure opened the door and stepped out. “Shhh, stop! I’m not here to hurt you.” He tried, but you opened your mouth to scream again. He crossed the room in two fast steps and covered your mouth with a hand as big as your whole face. “I’m trying to help, but you need to stop screaming. Are you going to scream if I let go?” You shook your head, tears rolling down your face.
“Aw, little human, don’t cry.” He pleaded, his voice soft as you felt his weight sitting down on the bed. You moved away, scared.
“The- the dark. It’s so dark.” You hiccuped between sobs. “Can you turn on the lights?” You asked, already knowing his answer.
“The dark is okay. I like the dark. You aren’t ready to see me, yet.” He told you. You didn’t know if you wanted to see him either. You were scared enough, but his presence was weirdly calming.
“Who are you?” You asked then, equal parts scared and curious. He didn’t answer, silence making you wanna tear up again. “Am I dreaming?” You asked, more to yourself than to him.
“No, you are not.” He answered, his voice closer than you expected, like he was right next to you.
You jumped back, almost falling down. “Are you a monster?”
He sighed, like the weight of the world was over him. “Some call me that, yeah.”
“Are you going to hurt me?” You didn’t know why you asked, he could hurt you if he wanted, and you couldn’t do shit about it. But you felt calm, like his presence was okay. Some primal part inside of you trusted him, and as naive as it was, you did. You trusted the shadows in front of you, the dark figure that you couldn't even see.
“No, little human. I would never hurt you. But I can help you.” His voice was so soft that you relaxed completely, your body giving away all the tension, leaving you feeling dizzy.
That picked your interest. “Help me how?”
“I can distract you from the fear.” The innuendo on his voice was more than clear.
But you asked anyway: “Ho- how?” Your voice broke down as you tried to be brave, tried to make sense of the mixed feelings inside of you.
“Can I touch you, little human?” You nodded. You couldn’t see his face, but you guessed he could see yours if he told you not to cry. A hand touched your knee, traveling up and up. The flimsy dress you were wearing was put aside as his hand touched the hem of your panties. “Is this okay?” You nodded, speechless.
You couldn’t comprehend why you were so pliant to his touch, but you just knew. You knew he was telling the truth, he didn’t want to hurt you. He pulled your panties aside, exposing your pussy to the air. A shiver ran down your spine as his pointy fingers touched your clit.
“I saw you touch this tiny pearl so many times… You looked so happy when you did.” He told you, rubbing your clit in the exact same way you did. “I’ve been watching you for so long. I studied your every move.” He pushed a finger inside of you, curving it to hit the perfect place. “It pained me to see you touch yourself and not being able to help. To be the one giving you pleasure. But now… Now I can, little human.” The idea of him watching you jerk off making your pussy tingle, convulsing against the finger inside of you. “You like that? You like knowing I was watching? You are a little pervert.” He laughed softly. You blushed.
His fingers were so much longer than yours, almost as long as your biggest dildo, but not so thick. He finger fucked you for a bit, humming and cooing at your reactions. Like you were a cute puppy doing a new trick, amazed when you cried out and repeating the move over and over as you came.
When you calmed down, he asked: “Can I fuck you, little human?” His fingers were still inside of you, rubbing softly, not trying to fuck you, just resting inside.
“Yes.” You choked out as he took his fingers out and felt his weight setting over you. He positioned himself and started pushing in slowly. “You… It feels weird.” You whispered, he chuckled. “My dick is not like the human ones. I have… ridges.” He pushed further, the aforementioned ridges rubbing against your walls and making you moan. “Do they please you?” You tried to answer, but the only sound that escaped your lips was a broken moan. He took that as a yes and started fucking you, slow but deep.
It wasn’t enough. “Faster. Harder.” You pleaded. He complied, setting a fast pace that made your boobs bounce up and down, almost hitting your chin. His hands on your hips were going to bruise, but you didn’t care. He had the perfect dick, even better than the tentacle dildo you always used.
Before you knew it, you were falling apart around him, his dick twitching as he came, too. But he didn’t stop, his dick still hard inside of you. He waited for a few seconds and started fucking you again. You didn’t know how he could keep fucking, how his dick was still hard, but you wanted to thank whoever created him for giving him that stamina. He fucked you over and over, for what felt like hours.
After what felt like a hundred orgasms, maybe they were, your oversensitive clit felt raw. Your pussy felt used and abused, but the pleasure was still there, almost painful. He kept asking you to come again, to let him feel your pussy contracting around him. To let him fill you again. And again. And again.
“I can’t anymore. Please…” You begged. You came so many times you lost count.
“Just one more, little human. One more and I’ll stop.” He told you, his pace not flattering for even a second.
You felt tears running down your face. “I can’t.” You choked out, your body spent. But he kept going. He rubbed your clit furiously, using his come as lube. Your last orgasm was pushed out of you, he forced you to come around his dick, almost to the point of pain. You cried as you came, so sensitive and tired… He wiped the tears away as he buried himself deep and came again, adding to your overflowing pussy.
He pulled out slowly and disappeared. Appearing seconds later with a warm cloth to clean some of the mess between your thighs.
“Would you stay?” You whispered, grabbing around his wrist still cleaning you up.
“Sure thing, little human.” He whispered back, his body curling around yours two seconds later.
For the first time in your life, you slept in the dark, a monster guarding you.
Part 2 can be found here.
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luveline · 7 months ago
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Hiii!! Could I request a bombshell reader x Spencer where someone (a local police maybe) says something rude to her about her appearance or something and normally it doesn’t really get to her, but something snaps and she kinda shuts down/is rude to Spencer until he coaxes it out of her? Sorry it’s long I had an idea and ran w it loollll
ty for requesting angel! confident fem!reader, 1k
Spencer shouldn’t expect his colleague to hold his hand, especially one so confident. What sense would that make, a woman as established as you are, who smiles without a lick of worry nor smugness, wanting to hold his hand? 
But you do it all the time, is the thing. In the car on the way to crime scenes, in the hallways of the office, under the round table. It started as a tethering for his distractedness, when one day he’d wanted to talk but hadn’t had the presence of mind to walk at the same time, so you’d taken his hand and led him to the office. You’ve been taking it at your discretion ever since.  
Spencer knows something is wrong —you haven’t tried to hold his hand all day. And even if you aren’t interested in him romantically, Spencer has come to crave the touch. He’ll accept platonic hand holding. Anything, really. 
“You’re staring very deeply, Dr. Reid,” you mutter, shades from your usual lightness. 
“I’m thinking.” 
“Aren’t you always?” 
“About you.”
“Well,” you smile fleetingly. “You should always be thinking about me.” 
“You’re truly humble.” 
His joke doesn’t land, it crashes and burns; your smile fades completely into a short, sharp line. Your gaze moves back into the restaurant, waiting for the team's food order in silence once again. 
Spencer’s pinky finger twitches across the gap. 
“Is everything okay?” he asks. 
“Fine.” 
You stay quiet, Spencer worries. He takes the bags before you can when they bring your food to the collection desk, two lumps of heat he holds to his thighs as you begin the walk back to the hotel. Tonight, the team will pick at their food together and rehash the same arguments they’ve been making all day, filling in each other's gaps, and tomorrow the work will start again. He can’t have you this unhappy again tomorrow. 
“You’re amazing,” he says, watching you turn to him from the corner of his eye, “you know you are, we all do, everyone who meets you. I know you don’t need me to tell you that, or to feel better, but… I’m here for you. If you want to talk. It’s been a hard couple of days, and talking about traumatic events as they happen and directly afterward make them easier to recover from.” 
“I’m not traumatised.” 
“Upsetting,” he corrects. “Having a shoulder to cry on is good for you, and I can be that shoulder. You know, if you need me to be.” 
He can’t know this in the moment, though maybe one day you’ll tell him, further down the line when the hand holding is better defined, but you look at him and you love him. To know Spencer is to love him. Or at least that’s how you’ve always felt. You’d love to cry on his shoulder about what transpired that morning if it weren’t embarrassing to think about, you’re upset over a throwaway comment made by nobody important. 
Spencer offers his company earnestly. He stammers. It’s amazingly sincere, as he usually is. He won’t mind if it’s embarrassing, he’ll just listen. 
You clear your throat. “I know I’m not to everyone’s taste. I know that the way I… present myself isn’t what most men like. People love confidence, but not when it’s bossy, not when it’s– when it’s vain. And I am vain. I think about my appearance a lot, I think I’m beautiful most of the time, I try so hard to have that be true.” You eye him thoughtfully. “Do you realise that?” 
He shakes his head gently, one ear toward one shoulder and then the other, as though balancing. “Sort of. I know you put effort into your appearance, but I also assume a lot of it to be natural.” 
“Right, well. It’s not natural. Not really. My natural beauty wouldn’t be all the beautiful to most people. And I’ve accepted that, I know what I like about myself, and–” You’re losing the thread of your point, an upset creeping into your melodic tone and turning it ragged. “When people tell me they don’t like how I look now, I guess it hurts because I know they wouldn’t like me before, either, and I feel defeated because I know I can’t win.” 
“Who said they don’t like how you look?” Spencer asks, confused, on his way to annoyed. 
“Officer Friendly.” You look to your shoes, watching the steps you take. “Guess he wasn’t as nice as we thought.” 
“What did he say to you?” 
You shrug. “Same story. He doesn’t like girls who wear makeup. Doesn’t like uppity women.” 
“Did he call you that?” 
“What are you gonna do if he did?” you ask without malice. 
“Morgan’s teaching me self defence for a reason.” You smile at his light joke, though it doesn’t last. He transfers the takeout bags into one hand, the other held out to you, his fingers sliding down your arm to your wrist. “You know you’re beautiful, with or without makeup. And you’re not uppity, you’re out of his league. There’s a difference.” 
“You’re flirting with me.” 
“No.” He wishes he had the wherewithal sometimes, but this isn’t flirting. “I’m being honest with you. Men like that don’t like you because they know they’ll never, ever have you, or anyone like you. There isn’t anyone like you,” he adds, sliding his hand into yours. 
He squeezes all your fingers together twice in quick succession. 
“Don’t let a jealous chauvinist halfwit make you think you’re not good enough,” he says. 
You curl your fingers around his before he can take his hand back. Slowly, you squeeze his hand. Then, smiling, you let him go. 
“I’ve never heard you say something mean like that,” you say. “Halfwit. That’s crass.” 
“I was going to say he’s an asshole, if that’s better.” 
Your laugh echoes off of the sidewalk. “That’s perfect. Say something meaner.” 
The insult he uses next doesn’t bear repeating. 
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pearlymel · 2 months ago
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A baby ?!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summery: his departure always bugs you, and surprise, it was just your lil hormones messing with you.
Wc: 3.4k
Warnings: Fem!reader, sfw because we decided to be sweet, pregnancy, reader is pregnant, there are some suggestive comments but that's all. Happy ending because i love yall.
Part one and two if you missed it my loves.
Notes: welcome to part 3 which i believe is the last part. I am kindly asking not to ask for a part 4 because i have run out of ideas. If i ever decided to write for capitano again, it wouldn't be part of this series, it would be like headcanons instead, you could imagine the reader being the same, apologies for spelling errors and thank you. :)
Credits: the art of the left panel is by @/reaperpie
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Fall was slowly approaching in Snezhnaya, and you had already expected it to be colder than the normal autumn. Which to your bad luck, it was not a suitable place for your picnic’s.
Your husband has continuesly rejected your date ideas, but you expected that anyway, you knew he couldn’t. He had duties to attend to, responsibilities to the Fatui, to the Tsaritsa, to the world. He couldn’t stay, as much as you—he wanted to.
It's not fair, You think while pouting as you stare outside the window with your chin resting on the palm of your hand, looking like a princess in need to be rescued from the tower. Your thumb toying with the diamond ring resting around your ring finger.
“Ugh, it's unfair baby.” You slump back on the bed, while your little fur baby only meowed at you in return, the orange cat jumping on the bed to make itself warm on your lap. “meow back if he doesn't love me.”
You're met with silence, only happy purrs reach your ears, and you grin, “obviously he loves me, obsessed even.” Your hand reaches to slowly pat the kitty.
“I miss him.” You sigh dreamily, deciding to stand up while carrying kitty with you so it doesn't feel left out. You make your way towards the desk in the corner, pulling the seat to take your place before pushing yourself closer to the desk.
You rest the kitten on your lap again—who quickly adjusts like nothing happened, looking as sleepy as ever.
You open the drawers to take an envelope, some wax, a stamp, a paper, and a quill.
Yeah, you're going to write him a letter, he said he didn't mind recieving even hundreds of letters from you.
How romantic.
“Dear, husband.” You start, dipping the quill in ink to brush it along the neat surface of the paper.
“i miss you.” you narrow your eyes at the empty page, saying that you miss him felt too boring.
“i utterly miss being next to you.” Hm, it lacks excitement.
“Please come back soon or i will run away.” Huh, you could already imagine the army's he would send to search for you.
“i want you inside—” okay, now you're being desperate.
You rest your arms on the desk, leaning your head on them while sighing.
“Do you know when will he return?” You politely ask one of the guards in front of the estate’s gate. Your hands together behind your back.
A leaf flew by in front of the guards with still no answer from them, and you narrow your eyes, wondering if they even heard you in the first place.
Finally, one of them shook their head and you only sigh in resignation, “thank you.” You mumble before heading your way back inside the estate.
It has been more than two weeks since he left, and he would sometimes send you neat letters to inform you about his well being, but the last letter you received was about a week ago, it was worrying you.
“My lady, are you okay?” Your personal maid, Marina, asked out of concern, watching you put an apron with a frown plastered on your face.
“Just hungry.” You take the glassy bowl, eggs, flour, butter, and sugar. Then you set them on the table. “I can help you.” Marina stands next to you, taking the butter to melt it.
“you want to make cookies, correct?” She asks, and you nod with a small smile. With the butter fully melted, you begin mixing in the sugar, beating the mixture until it becomes light and fluffy. The repetitive motion of stirring is almost meditative, and for a brief moment. “Baking is rather calming, i should've tried it before.”
Marina chuckled softly at your admission, a knowing smile on her face. "Yes, baking can be quite therapeutic," she stated, watching as you mixed the sugar and butter together. "I've found that working with your hands, especially when it involves creating something good to eat, is a great way to clear your mind," she continued, adding chocolate to the bowl.
You had both finished combining the ingredients, and the room was now filled with the warm, comforting fragrance of cookie dough. Marina stood beside you, watching as you shaped the dough into small balls and placed them on a baking tray. As you finished placing the last cookie onto the tray, you and Marina stood together, admiring the array of small, round cookies waiting to be baked in the oven.
The sounds of the gates opening is what catches your attention next, making you stand up from your chair to immediately abandon the kitchen and rush towards the entrance, your eyes searches him when you reach the front door, and surely enough, your husband has arrived.
He looked almost disheveled, tired, yet he still held a straight posture.
Capitano's weary eyes widened behind his helmet as you rushed into his arms, his body stiffening as if caught off guard by your sudden affection. But the tension in his form swiftly melted away as he wrapped his strong arms around you. His grip was tight, as he pulled you against his body. He was silent for a moment, his chin resting on the top of your head, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths as he held you.
“I…” you want to break the silence, you want to tell him how much you missed him. “I missed you.”
Capitano's grip intensified as your voice reached his ears, he was more than relieved to hear those words. To know that somone dear is waiting for him, someone as precious as you that he's willing to risk his life for.
He exhaled deeply, "I missed you too," he whispered, making sure the words only reached your ears. He pulled back slightly to look down at you, his gaze raking over you as if to confirm you were real and not a trick of his tired mind.
Capitano allowed you to lead him inside afterwards, his hand careful to be gentle when holding yours. The weariness in his body was evident as he stumbled a bit as you pulled him along. However, he matched your pace as best he could, following obediently as you guided him to your chambers.
Being greeted by the familiar room before him made his shoulders relax, the only place where he can be himself.
"How was is it? Being away from your wife for more than two weeks?" You ask while your hands started working on helping him out of the thick layers of his heavy, dirty clothing. Each layer you removed revealed more of his muscular, battle-worn physique, the scars and marks on his body a testament to the dangers he had faced.
He paused, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he noticed your pout. He reached out a calloused hand and gently tugged at your lip, "It was a long two weeks," he admitted gruffly. "I have missed you sorely.”
“I'm sure you did,” you hummed, walking towards the closest to grab a sweater for him. "Don't pout like that," he chided gently, "You're making me feel guilty.”
You try hiding your smile when you hand him his new warm clothes, your arms crossing next, “as you should.”
"I've missed that pout," his lowers his voice, "but I don't miss your little attitude.”
You shrug, “i don't know what you're talking about.” Capitano's gaze held yours unflinchingly, his eyes studying your expression. He knew you were baiting him, daring him to guess your reason for being upset.
"Let me see.." he started, his voice taking on a tone of mock contemplation. "Perhaps it's the fact that I was gone for more than two weeks and left you here all alone. That's a start, is it not?”
“maybe.”
"Or perhaps it's the fact that I didn't send you a letter everyday and left you wondering about whether I was alright or not. Hmm, that could be it, couldn't it?”
“Go on.” your raise your eyebrow while tapping your feet impatiently.
"Or maybe," he stepped closer, taking a few strands of your hair in between his fingers, "It's because I didn't come home and ravish you as soon as I returned, instead letting you pout and sulk and complain like a spoiled little thing.”
He could see right through you; the way you suddenly straightened your stance and tried to act nonchalant only confirmed his suspicions.
You gasp, ”whaaaat? Nonsense.”
"Is that so?" he drawled, his hands now taking your upper arms, his thumb thumbs rubbing circles around your skin "i will make it up to you, my wife.”
Despite his promise that you could do later, you wanted him to rest more than anything, so you make him sit down on the bed while you leave to get the cookies you baked together with Marina.
“You have to tell me your opinion.” you hand him one of the chocolate chip cookies. Capitano let the taste of the chocolate chips and the buttery cookie dough settle on his tongue for a moment. He swallowed, his gaze still fixed on you, before giving his verdict.
"They're good," he admitted, "Better than good, actually. Well done.”
Praise kink goes crazy huh? Your smile widens, and it makes you feel all giddy, as you took a bite of the cookies as well.
He leaned back against the plush bedding of the bed, his strong arms resting on his lap as he observed you. "You've been busy while I was away, hm?"
“Not really, more bored than busy.”
“… i am sorry. I do not mean to leave you alone.”
You scoot closer to him once you see how guilty he looks, you sit next to him, your head resting on his shoulder. “When do you have to leave again?”
Capitano's silence spoke volumes, pausing before answering, "My duties are unpredictable, and there's no telling when the Tsaritsa will call for me again. I cannot give you an exact timeline, and that is the reality of what I do. I am a warrior first, a husband second.”
Ouch, that's fine. Totally fine.
You knew what you were getting into when you married him, after all. Still, a part of you couldn't help but wish for more. The thought kind of makes you sick… quite literally.
“I think the cookies had too much sugar.” You put the dessert back on the plate before standing up from the bed. “Shall i go get you wate—”
“no, thank you. I can do it.”
You were rotting in bed. From the morning, and now it's afternoon. It makes you feel useless since you barely did anything.
Capitano left before you woke up, even though he promised to return later today.
You felt miserable, your body weak and your spirits low. It was a mixture of loneliness, hormones, and the unease bubbling in your stomach. Capitano's absence only made it worse, adding to the feeling of helplessness that had settled upon you.
You tossed and turned in the bed, the plush sheets tangling up around you as you tried to find a comfortable position. But no matter how much you shifted, the discomfort in your stomach remained, persistent and nagging.
“Make the pain go please, I'll take any disgusting medicine,” you tell Marina weakly as you look up at her while she sat on the wooden stool next to you.
"I can give you some ginger root. It might help soothe your stomach.” she offered gently, handing you the ginger root she prepared just for you.
“… i lied i can't take anything disgusting.”
Marina chuckled softly at your admission, "I thought so," she said, setting aside the ginger root. “Have you considered telling Lord Capitano?”
You shake your head, “not that he's here. It's not that important.” you cover half of your face with the blanket, “why though? Isn't it just a normal cold from the change of weather?”
It was clear that you were trying to downplay the severity of your symptoms, perhaps not wanting to worry anyone or admit that something might be seriously wrong.
"Dearest, it's not just a cold," she chided gently, "the symptoms you're describing are not typical of a mere cold.”
You frown, “is it not?”
She shook her head, her voice soft but serious. "No, it's not. The nausea, the fatigue, the changes in appetite...these are all common symptoms of something else." Shee paused for a moment, "my lady, have you considered the possibility that you might be... Pregnant?”
You immediately rise from the bed, sitting down with eyes wide to stare at her, "what? Pregnant?” you ask in shock.
"I shall ask for a healer right away, my lady.”
You stare outside the window at the dark skies, although your eyes fixated on the gates opening, indicating his arrival.
You almost flinch when he dashes inside your shared chambers, taking his helmet off but not bothering to take the rest off before he's gently grabbing you by your arms.
“where?” He asks urgently, “where are you injured? Who did it? Do not hesitate to tell me.” He says in a dangerously sharp tone, his eyes searching for even a single scratch on your body.
“what… are you talking about?” You raise an eyebrow, and your unbothered state made him confused. “the healers were here, yet you're not injured?” he blinked before sighing, his hands caressing your arms instead, “then why? Are you sick?”
“Sick… no not sick.” You tell him, your hands ever so gentle taking a hold of his face, “… but pregnant. I'm pregnant.”
You both stare at eachother, both of you holding your breaths. You have never seen him so distracted, like he didn't hear you the first time.
Does he hate it? You never thought of the possibility.
“Capit—” before you could continue, he's down in one knee and you're bewildered, unsure of what to do.
“you're carrying our child.” he utters out so softly that you think you might tear up—and you really are in the verge of tears. He takes your hand, he's held your hand many times, but this time it feels different, he holds you like you're glass, he's so careful with it.
“I swear to protect you both, and put you both first. Should anyone hurt you, i will not hesitate to draw my sword, if i ever hurt you… then you should not hesitate to draw your sword on me.” his words hung in the air like a sacred vow.
You tried to speak, to respond, but only a soft gasp escaped your lips. Tears welled in your eyes, and you could only stare at him, utterly overwhelmed.
Capitano's gaze softened even more as he saw the tears falling down your face. He rose to his feet in one fluid motion, his hand still holding yours in a gentle but firm grip, he reached out with the other hand, his large palm cupping your cheek to brush your tears away. “Don't cry, I'm here.”
His embrace, so warm, so protective around you that it eases every single thought in your head.
Everything is going to be okay. With him, it will.
Months passed in a blur of morning sickness, cravings, and blossoming excitement for the new life growing inside you. Capitano, as promised, was by your side through it all and he went away for more than a week.
He attended to your every need, from getting up in the middle of the night to find the most ridiculous late-night snack, to comforting you on days when you felt overwhelmed by the changes happening to your body.
You rest back against the bed’s headboard while tracing random shapes on the skin of your swollen belly, a hum of some sort of song followed after. You stop once you hear the sound of slow footsteps, catching your husband freeze.
“I'm sorry, i didn't mean to stalk you like that—”
“you're so silly. Come here, honey.” You pat on your empty side with a smile, inviting him to share this moment you.
Capitano took his place next to you then continued watching as you gently caressed your belly, tracing over the stretch marks with your fingers.
“They're beautiful, you know.” he speaks first, as if sensing what you were about to say. “Beautiful?” You repeat. He lifted your hand to his lips, gently pressing a kiss on your knuckles before he replied, his voice a soft murmur. "Yes, beautiful. They're a sign of life growing within you. A sign of strength. Of creation. That's beautiful.” he continues his trail of kisses to your arm up to your shoulder, “I want to kiss every inch of you, stretch mark or not.”
You've come so far with him that it feels surreal, it feels right, “i love you.” You whisper to him, turning your attention to him again. “I love you.” he doesn't hesitate to say it back, the declaration coming out of his tongue smoothly like it was meant to be.
His hand then moved to your growing bump, "and I love this," he added. “This?” You giggle.
"Mhm," Capitano confirmed, his hand now rubbing your belly in slow, soothing circles. "This. Our baby." His eyes flickered up to yours, "We created this," he continued, his voice with pride and awe. "Our love made this.”
Love.
Were toddlers always this fast? Because one second he keeps an eye on her then the next he looks around before she's gone right from infront of him.
He was supposed to play tea party, but a little butterfly flying creature must've caught her attention.
Capitano, despite his size and strength, found himself struggling to keep up with your energetic three-year-old daughter.
He chuckled as he chased her around the garden, his large frame a stark contrast to her small, fleeting form. As she ran past you, you couldn't help but burst into laughter at the sight of your husband's face, "almost got her," he panted out, his hand on his knee as he attempted to catch his breath.
“You got this old man!” You decide to tease him from behind, laughing endlessly from the sight. Though he shot you a mock glare through his labored breaths, “old man, huh?" he grumbled, straightening up and crossing his arms over his chest. "You think I'm old now, do you?" he continued, raising an eyebrow playfully. "I'll show you 'old,' darling." With that, he took a step further to sweep you off your feet, carrying you effortlessly in his arms, and your smile only widens.
“Me!” Your little girl raises both of her arms at her father, and he kneels down to carry her in his other arm. Now carrying you both in each arm.
“Oh, how strong.” You tease, poking at his bicep and he shakes his head almost shyly, “papa, butterfly.” Your daughter proceeds to show you both the butterfly she caught, the little creature doesn't seem scared of her as it rests on her tiny fingers.
“Looks pretty,” Capitano smiled, his expression amused as your daughter leaned toward the butterfly, attempting to kiss it. "Careful now," he warned gently. "Don't scare it away." He watched as the butterfly fluttered its delicate wings at her attempt and she giggles.
"You have to be gentle," he told her, his voice soft. "Just like how you handle the kittens.”
She gasps, suddenly remembering the cat that's half asleep on the grass with the three of you. “Kitty!” She shouts at the cat, jumping off Capitano’s arm so suddenly that it makes him gasp, worried that she might’ve injured herself.
“she's fine.” You pat your husband's chest and just like that, he's relaxed again. “i think our cat is tired of her sometimes.” You get down as well, watching how your daughter carried the lazy cat in her arms to run in circles with her. The cat that grew within these years, from a mere kitten to a big cat now.
"I think we should just be glad the cat hasn't hissed at her or swatted her yet," he sighed, and you hum in reply, “i don't think it ever will. That cat has been clinging to my belly ever since i was pregnant. Kept me warm i must admit.”
You grin when your daughter runs back to both of you, carrying the cat in the air, it's eyes almost closed, unbothered, "meow."
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Tags: @duchessofherself @itsjustnikkixoxo @erasme143 @yvesswoo @mooshbb @bigboygoose
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marvelwitchergilmore · 3 months ago
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Unexpected Surprises
Summary: Logan x Fe!Reader -> Finding out your pregnant is one thing, having Logan know before you is another.
Disclaimer: Mostly fluff, descriptions of giving birth, Logan's senses are at their full power. He's also read the books. One swear word here and there. Not Proof Read.
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If someone had told you, even yesterday, that you would be sitting inside your bathroom with Logan sitting against your sink counter, waiting for a pregnancy test to show you a result he already knew…
You wouldn’t have believed them. 
They could have been cursed to tell the truth their entire lives and you still wouldn’t have believed them. 
Because it was baffling to you. 
And it had all started because Logan - of all people - knew you were pregnant. 
It had all started several weeks ago when you had met the team under the school inside Jean Grey’s lab. The others had been talking when you had arrived and slid in to stand beside Logan. 
After a moment, he sniffed. 
“What is it?”
“Have you changed your shower gel?”
You looked at him with a bewildered look. “No, why?”
“You smell different.”
“I don’t know how comfortable I am knowing you can smell me.” You said, looking up at him. You knew it was a part of his mutation; heightened senses, but it still caught you off guard every now and then. 
Logan shrugged. “I can always smell you.”
From there, you both turned to find out why you’d been called down to the lab. 
Over the next couple of weeks, Logan noticed a change in you. 
You started napping. 
For the average person, taking a nap in the middle of the day wasn’t unheard of. But for you, someone who practically lived off four to five hours a night of sleep, constantly running around the place doing things, unable to sit still long enough to even think about taking a nap….
It was unheard of. 
First it had been in the living room on the sofa whilst the kids were either out or in their rooms before they’d get called for dinner. Then in the library, the hallway on the window seat bench, the kitchen. And Logan hadn’t been the only one to find you napping. 
But he was the only one to move you from where you were and into your bedroom. 
And each day your scent was getting stronger. 
For the life of him he couldn’t put his finger on it. He had asked Jean about it but since you hadn’t come to her, or hadn’t seemed unlike your normal self, she didn’t see anything to worry about. 
Maybe your body was just finally making you listen and telling you to rest. 
But as of a week ago, you had been throwing up every meal you had. But you didn’t feel sick. Save for the twenty minutes before and after throwing up. Most of the time you felt hungry and nauseous at the same time. 
Except, you’d kept the fact you kept puking to yourself. Until a morning meeting before classes were about to start. 
“Excuse me, just a second-”
You just about managed to get out of the door and down the hallway before throwing up the toilet lid and emptying your breakfast back into the water. 
Everyone looked around concerned and Jean was about to follow you when Logan caught her by the door. “Let me.”
Logan seemed to know something the others didn’t. 
“Is she okay?”
Logan nodded, looking around before finding Charles. “She’s fine,” he replied, turning back to Jean. 
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
Closing the door behind him, Logan found you in the staff bathroom, the door unlocked. 
Knocking on, he heard you take a breath before flushing the toilet and putting the lid back down. He slowly entered before closing the door behind him and looking at you as you sat on the lid of the toilet seat. 
“Here,” Logan grabbed a fresh flannel and ran it under the tap before handing it to you and crouching on the floor so he could see you. 
“Thanks.” You took the flannel from him and placed it over your face, wiping it down before folding it over and running it down the back of your neck. “Two weeks. Two weeks and I can’t keep a meal down, but I feel normal.”
“There might be an explanation for that.”
Then you felt yourself starting to cry. 
You never cried. 
At least, Logan had never seen you cry. 
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. One minute I’m flushed and wanting to throw up my internal organs, the next I was to sleep for a decade and eat nothing but sugar. Maybe I’m coming onto my period.”
“You’re not.”
You threw the flannel into the sink before looking at Logan. “What?”
“You’re not coming onto your period. You’re pregnant, Y/n.”
“Excuse me?”
Logan sighed. “I can…smell it. Your hormonal changes. And it would explain the tiredness, and the puking your guts up every five seconds. And the emotions.”
You just stared at Logan. “What?”
“If you don’t believe me, take a test. Maybe I’m wrong-”
“You are.” You told him. “I can’t be pregnant. When would I have had-”
Logan raised an eyebrow at you as if to say, “You really don’t remember?”
You looked up, away from him and towards the door, doing the maths in your head. 
“I can’t….no. No, I can’t be pregnant.”
“Look,” Logan began. “At least take a test. Just to be sure. I could be wrong…but I don’t think I am.”
The next day Logan drove you into the town and towards the local pharmacy. 
Sitting out in the car, you unbuckled your seat belt and looked at the door before turning to Logan. “Will you come in with me?”
And he did. Without question. 
Spending a few minutes searching for the tests, Logan found them and handed one over to you. “Can tell as early as…” He read the box. “Five weeks.”
You nodded before looking back at the shelf, grabbing a different box of a different brand, just to be safe. At the counter, the cashier rang up both boxes for you. Neither you or Logan missed the light smile on her face as she looked between the two of you. However, the cashier missed the slightly awkward shift from Logan as he realised what she was doing and he somehow moved both closer to you and away from you at the same time. 
“That’ll be seven, ninety five.”
You handed over a ten dollar bill and collected your change. Both yourself and Logan thanked her before shuffling away from the counter, Logan looking behind him as he opened up the door for you, finding the cashier smiling and waving you out. 
By the time you both got home, you found a note on the desk in the hallway from Xavier. They had taken the kids out on a school trip to the museum. They should be back by dinner. 
So that left you and Logan alone to stand inside your bathroom, avoiding looking at the two tests on the counter. 
“I still think it’s weird you can smell the change.” You said out loud, sat on the toilet seat, your hands interlocked with each other. “I mean…what does it even smell like?”
You unlocked your hands and pressed them between your knees, turning to look up at him as he leaned against your sink counter. 
Logan seemed a little out of it, his head somewhere else for a moment as his eyes remained fixed on the skirting board whilst he brushed a hand repeatedly across his face. 
“Huh?” He snapped out of it, brushing his face one last time before moving his hands so they were against the cold counter before crossing his feet and crossing his arms once more. “Oh, uh, I don’t know, It’s just different.”
“Like a bad different?” You asked. 
“Just…stronger, I guess. Why do you even want to know? I thought you found it weird?”
You nodded. “I do. But you can’t tell me you’ve got questions for things you find weird.”
Logan looked at you. “What? Like your ability to watch a serial killer documentary before you go to bed, yet you won’t watch horror movies?”
“I knew you found that weird!”
Logan nodded. “That’s because it is. Scott isn’t allowed near you in the month of October because you said he watches too many scary movies.”
“I can see it in his aura. Being near Scott in the month of October is like putting you next to a magnet and hoping you don’t get stuck to it. Horror movies scare me any time of year, it’s just stronger in October. And Scott watches too many.”
“Who knew the woman who used to work for the FBI, doesn’t like horror movies?”
“Technically, I worked in the labs. Not the field.”
“Still. FBI that’s afraid of a couple jumpscares on a set full of actors. Kind of ironic if you ask me.”
“Oh, please.” You replied, turned back to looking at the door. “You’re just as scared of them. Don’t think I didn’t spot the claw shaped holes in the pillow from last Halloween.”
From the corner of your eye, you saw Logan squirm. 
“How long is left on this thing anyway?”
You looked at your phone. “Twenty seconds.”
You both watched as the timer went off before looking at each other. “Ready?”
It took you a second, but you finally nodded and Logan stood back up straight. As did you before pulling the face down tests from the counter. 
Logan stood behind you, his hand absentmindedly coming to your hip as he looked over your shoulder. You closed your eyes before turning them round and took another second before finally opening them. 
It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. 
Two lines. 
Both tests. 
Two, vibrant, clear from space, lines. 
And despite him being the first to know, everything suddenly felt a lot more real for Logan. 
“Oh my god,” you breathed out before you felt yourself starting to cry again. “Oh my god.”
You looked at Logan through the mirror before turning around and his arms wrapped themselves around you as you stood on your tiptoes to bury your face into his neck. 
“What do you need? Tell me what you need.”
You set yourself back on your feet, your eyes locked on Logan’s chest. “Sleep? I think.”
Logan smiled a little and brushed the hair out of your face, kissing your forehead. “Okay.”
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you…” The question disappeared. “Stay with me.”
With his eyes fixed on yours, Logan nodded. 
Laying down beside you, his arms wrapped around you whilst your legs tangled with his. And for a moment, he was transported back almost nine weeks ago when you and him had finally crossed the one line you both swore you’d never cross with each other, in a motel room, just off the highway leading back into New York. 
Neither of you woke up until a few hours later where you found yourself lay on your side, Logan’s arm around your middle with his hand gently pressed to your belly, whilst he remained behind you, a little more on his front, his face half buried in his pillow. 
Having felt you move, Logan stirred awake for a moment to fully turn onto his side. But you just kept looking at him. 
Just like you had done almost ten weeks ago when you watched the sunlight that was beginning to peek through the curtains that never just quite shut all the way, dance across his bed-ridden hair and over the muscles in his back, ghosting over where the sheet was draped over his bottom half.
And just like then, you brushed a few of the stray hairs from his face, watching his too tired muscles unable to fight off the smile on his face whilst his hand came up and held yours against him for a moment before he kissed the centre of your palm. 
“What time is it?”
“A little after four…I think. I don’t think the others are back yet.”
“I think we’d know if they were.” Logan joked a little before gazing at you. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, I think. A little less sick.”
“Good.”
You nodded for a moment before looking back at Logan. “I think I want to do this.”
Logan gave you a questioning look for a moment. “Are you sure?”
You nodded. “I’m sure. If you don’t want to-”
“I want to.”
It wasn’t ever a second thought for Logan when he had come to terms with you being pregnant, as well as him being the first to know. He would have supported any decision you made, but he couldn’t help but feel a little more than happy when you confirmed his question. 
He had been in love with you ever since you had splattered midnight spaghetti sauce on your face from when you had slurped spaghetti. He had chuckled and wiped a spot from your chin with his thumb. 
Of course, he wasn’t blind.
He had always found you attractive since he first met you, but becoming your friend and falling in love with you two years later over a bowl of spaghetti as you graded papers…that was something he could have only ever dreamed of. 
That night, he thought about kissing you. But promised himself he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. You were both friends. 
And when you both almost kissed after having stepped into him whilst you were both outside looking for logs to put on the fire pit outside, he had a strong feeling you felt what he was feeling, too. 
But fear…stopped you both. 
And Rogue’s voice from shouting for you both since you’d both been gone ten minutes longer than you had planned. 
But that night in the motel room. 
Neither of you could deny it anymore. And there was no one around to interrupt. 
Maybe both of you wished it had happened a lot more smoothly. But neither of you could deny you weren’t not happy about what had happened. 
“You want to?” You rallied his words back to him, trying not to smile too much. 
Logan nodded. “I want to.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“One thing,” you said. “What do we tell the others?”
“You didn’t tell anyone what happened?”
You shook your head. “No. Work kinda got in the way.”
Which it did. A few hours after the motel, you had both gotten a call to get back to the school as quickly as you could. And work got too busy, neither you or Logan had time to talk about what happened and before you both knew it, it got too late to mention it again.
“Did you?”
Logan shook his head. “No.”
“This is gonna be a shock to their system.”
You nodded in agreement. “Maybe we don’t tell them so soon. At least wait until the twelve week scan.”
“Agreed. Accept-”
“Jean’s got to know.”
Logan nodded and clicked his teeth. 
“But we can trust her. Maybe we’ll just have to corner her in her lab before she and Scott have lunch together.”
Logan nodded. “Good idea. Does the lab even have a sonogram machine?”
You reeled back a little. “Logan…”
“What? I might have…read…a couple of books.”
You could help but smile. “You read books? On pregnancy?”
 Logan shrugged, once again trying to hide his smile. “Had to know if I was right about you being pregnant. And if I was, I wanted to know…what to expect. Just because I’m nearly 200 years old doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing.”
“And the entire world takes a sigh of relief. Even the oldest man in the world doesn't know what he’s doing. Maybe we don’t have to have it all figured out right now.”
Logan smiled, his hand pressing gently against the bottom of your back, pulling you closer to him. “Maybe we don’t.”
“But we’re gonna do this together?”
Logan gave you a nod and smiled. “We’re gonna do this together.”
By the time the others got back, Logan was on cooking duty since the smell of everything was sending you into waves of sickness once again, until Logan handed you a small bag of sweets with a couple of pretzels inside that helped curb your cravings and settled the sickness. 
And, just like you had said, you found Jean in her lab just a little after Scott had left and told her what she needed to know. 
Within moments she had you lay on the examination table and Logan wheeled a chair over to be by your side whilst she scanned your stomach to find your uterus. 
“Have to say, you two took your time.”
“Huh?”
Jean smiled. “Rogue was sure something had happened that night at the firepit when she went to find you two. When she finds out she’s gonna be thrilled something did finally happen.”
You and Logan looked at each other. “Other than Rogue…how many people think that…”
“You two would finally stop being idiots and do something about it?” Jean clicked a couple of buttons on the monitor. “Everyone.”
“Everyone?!”
Jean smiled. “Yep. And now they’re gonna be thrilled. Take a look.”
Jean explained what you were looking at. “See, here their head, and their feet. They look pretty comfortable there, tucked up nice and cosy.” 
Jean did a couple other things whilst you and Logan looked at the screen, Logan’s hand taking yours in his before he kissed your palm again. 
“Wow…she’s so small.”
You looked at Logan with a smile, and tears in your eyes. “What makes you so certain it's a girl?”
Logan shrugged. “I just do.”
Squeezing his hand, you smiled and looked back at the monitor. 
“I’d put you at about a little over nine weeks. We should be able to hear a heartbeat.”
You looked a little shocked, not expecting to hear a heartbeat so soon. But Jean found it and…you breathed. Or maybe you held it. You weren’t quite sure. 
“Stay still,” Jean laughed a little. 
“Sorry,” you apologised. 
Logan held onto your hand, tears forming in his own eyes. But for two reasons. One; finally being close to you, seeing your baby and hearing their heartbeat. And two; the small thumping Logan had heard every time he was around you, almost like an echo of your own – or maybe his – had been your baby. 
The baby you were having together. 
He had been hearing their heartbeat for almost a week. 
“Logan…that’s our baby.”
There was no stopping his smile. “That’s our baby.”
With his other hand at the back of your head, his thumb making familiar strokes back and forth, he kissed you and you squeezed his hand a little tighter, never wanting to let go. 
“I’ll set this recording for you and print off a couple of pictures. Congratulations guys. You’ve got a very healthy baby.”
Jean did as she said she would and by the time you were clean of the gel and sat back up with Logan standing by your side, Jean gave you a couple of information booklets. 
“I think Logan’s already got most of it covered,” you said with a smile, catching his slightly sheepish look. “But thank you.”
Jean hugged both of you. “Congrats guys, and don’t worry. They won’t hear anything from me.”
You smiled. “Thank you.”
By the time you both got back to your room, you had one picture, as did Logan however the third one, Logan kept looking at. 
Without saying anything, you both came to an agreement and it wasn’t long before you found who you were looking for. 
Closing the library door, you checked all the spaces before confirming both yourself, Logan and Rogue were alone. 
“What’s going on?”
Coming to a stand, Rogue stood in front of Logan and you rounded the table to stand beside him. 
He held out the picture. “We wanted to give you this. Figured you should be the first to know…apart from Jean.”
Rogue took the photo in her hands from Logan, it taking a minute before it all finally clicked in her head and confirmed what she was looking at. 
Baby Y/L/N HOWLETT printed in bold white ink in the corner. 
Rogue burst into a smile and let out a small laugh before hugging both of you quickly. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!”
“But you can’t tell anyone.” Logan told her. “At least not yet.”
Rogue shook her head. “I-I won’t. I promise. Oh my god!”
She hugged you both again before stepping back. 
“I knew something was going on between you two! Congrats, guys! Oh, my god! This is just…incredible. Insane.” Then she calmed down for a moment. “Thank you for telling me.”
Logan shrugged. “Figured the kid’s Aunt would want to know first.”
Rogue smiled even brighter and then looked down at the picture lovingly. “When do you find out the gender?”
“In a couple of weeks,” you smiled, holding onto Logan’s hand and arm. “But he thinks it’s a girl.”
“You do?” Rogue asked, with a smile still prominent on her face. “You two are gonna make the best parents.”
“Thank you.”
“Thanks, Kid.”
And she was right. 
As was Logan when, only a few weeks later, Jean confirmed that you both were in fact going to be the proud parents of a baby girl. 
And by the time it came round to you giving birth, you may have bruised Logan’s hand as well as scared Scott into never watching a horror movie where a woman gives birth, ever again. 
Bobby had been the first to find you when you went into labour. You were hunched over the counter in the kitchen, holding onto your belly. 
“Y/n, are you okay?”
You managed to shake your head. “No.”
Then your waters broke. 
“Oh, uh, okay. Okay. Rogue!”
Practically sliding around the door, Rogue saw what was happening. “Oh, crap. Okay. Bobby, go and find Logan.”
“Do you know where he is?” 
“He’s…” you grunted through the pain. Jean had warned you that having a baby with one mutant parent might speed things along, but two? 
As you had gathered from Jean’s easy let down…
You were fucked. 
“Ugh.” You grunted. “He’s…he’s out in the gardens…they had trouble…ahh…they had trouble moving…”
“Just breathe.” Rogue assured you. “Bobby, go.”
And he did. 
“Okay, we’re gonna get you downstairs. I’ll call Jean.”
Twenty minutes later, Jean was back from her store run and rushed inside the school only to nearly collide into Logan. 
“Where is she? I can’t find her.”
“Rogue helped her down to the lab.”
When Jean and Logan finally ran inside, they found you bracing yourself on the bed as Rogue rubbed up and down your back and you felt the pain kick up a notch. 
“They’re here! They’re here. Logan.”
Logan was already on it, replacing Rogue’s hand with his own in yours. “Where the hell were you?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“How’s your pain?” Jean asked, walking back inside in her scrubs. 
“Ever been kicked by a horse in your pelvis?”
Another contraction started up and as you held onto Logan’s hand, you braced yourself on his other arm. 
Jean gave a hidden laugh from your comment and started setting everything up. 
“Just tell me when the pain stops and we can get you moved onto the bed.”
It took a moment but eventually it slowed and, with Logan’s help, you got into the hospital bed and Jean checked you over. 
It was a few more hours before you were ready to push. 
“No, I can’t. It hurts.”
“Just a few more pushes. Come on, you can do it.”
Logan held onto your hand whilst his other arm supported you around your shoulders and back. “You can do it. Just a couple more and it’ll be over.”
You groaned. “Why can’t we be seahorses? The males have to push and they’re only pregnant for ten days.”
Logan could help but laugh a little. “We can always get Chuck to come down and narrate this. He’s no David Attenbourogh but he is English.”
“Oh, shut up.” You laughed a little. “Don’t make me laugh. I’m in enough pain as it is.”
Another contraction started up and you began to push again. 
“That’s it! Good…just a little longer.”
Fifteen minutes later the room was filled with the cries of a newborn baby girl and you felt yourself cry a sigh of relief, joy and worry. 
“You did it, honey.” Logan kissed your temple. “You did it.”
“Where is she? Is she okay?”
Jean smiled and nodded. “She’s perfect. Dad? Want to do the honours?”
Logan kissed you and walked over towards Jean, his hands trailing away from yours before reaching for the scissors Jean handed him. 
Cutting the cord, Jean hurried to weigh and measure your daughter as quickly as she could before handing her over to you for skin to skin contact. 
“Oh my god, she’s beautiful.”
Logan was crying tears of happiness. “She looks just like her Momma.”
“Congrats, you guys.”
“Thank you.” 
You couldn’t take your eyes off of her. She was…everything. 
Logan sat beside you on the bed, his arm above your head and the other around both of you. He saw you in her, but you saw him. 
“You guys picked a name yet?” Jean asked, standing on the other side of the bed, the camera by her side from where she’s taken a couple of photos already. 
Both yourself and Logan had been quiet about the names you had picked. 
“We haven’t decided yet.” Logan told her, his eyes never leaving his daughter. 
“But whatever it is, Marie is going to be her middle name.”
Jean smiled and took yet another picture. Everyone had been waiting years for this moment, for you and Logan to finally get together, for you both finally to realise you were both always meant to be, even before either of you knew it.
They were going to want pictures to keep forever of this moment. 
As were you two. 
And the ones Jean took were just the first of many to be taken, from everyone holding her beside you and Logan, to the big family photo with her in Logan’s arms, to the one you would always keep by your bedside of Logan holding his daughter for the first time. To birthday’s, Christmases, Easter, family dinners, first steps, first words. 
The others that made a small collection in your memory box for her, where she’s learning to walk, holding onto Logan’s fingers, climbing up her dad and going over his shoulder, finding easter eggs with Logan and Rogue, sitting in Xavier’s lap at his desk, learning to bake for the first time – a picture you didn’t know existed until you found it in the small box Logan had been keeping. He had taken the picture of you and her when you weren’t looking and had multiple copies. 
There was a picture of every moment and every memory that both of you would always treasure forever. 
And even when the sleepless nights felt endless, neither of you wanted to change it for the world.
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ashherahh · 3 months ago
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your first time with your future spouse +18
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Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.
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pile 1
You're seen as quite meek by most people and even by your future spouse when you first meet them. Eventually they learn what a little freak you are! You're so prim and proper and polite in front of others but when you're alone you're a bit depraved. You're what people would call a mental slut.
The energy I'm picking up is that you weren't really sexually compatible with previous partners and so you just thought that you're not someone who feels that intense sexual attraction people always seem to be talking about. That doesn't stop all the thoughts you have.
There's a strong energy of abstinence but there's definitely an underlying energy of someone that is like a caged werewolf under a full moon.
To explain what I'm seeing, it's as though you do get sexually aroused but no one seems to tick your boxes in a sense so you haven't gone all the way in a hot minute. It's like mentally, you're really pumped up and then you're in front of someone and it's like being thrown with a bucket of ice water. I am seeing a problem with climaxing and your mind kind of wanders a bit.
When you first do the deed with your future spouse, you give disclosures and you do make them aware of how you feel about sex and your experiences. You're very open with them, mainly because you don't want to get your hopes up and you don't want them to be disappointed.
Your future spouse is very patient with you and they're very understanding. I'm seeing you're very comfortable with them, that's why the two of you are able to discuss intimacy so openly.
Lemme tell you something, they are so confident in themselves and they're going to teach you a thing or two. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
They keep this to themselves because they don't want you to overthink your first time together and they want to keep you as present in the act as they possibly can.
You ever crave something but you can't seem to figure out what it is? Then when you do stumble across it, it's like puzzle pieces falling in place. That's what your first time with them is like.
I'm seeing that they hold you quite close to them through the entire act. They'll keep your back to their front or they'll put you in positions where you feel like they're all over you.
They talk you through it, not really dirty talk but more like they give you a lot of praises. I'm seeing that they touch your belly a lot, that's a very sensitive spot for you that you didn't even know about.
Your future spouse has stamina and I do see it takes a while for you to orgasm the first time but their focus is completely on you. They really get off on seeing you thoroughly pleasured. You two leave each other feeling so satisfied, and it only gets better from there.
pile 2
You love your future spouse's voice and their hands. It's as though your entire body is voice activated around them. That's the first thing you notice about them. I'm seeing that they have an accent different from yours as well.
They have a very commanding energy. Someone who is very solid and stable and career oriented. Big boss vibes.
They use that same energy in the bedroom...
Hehehe oh they like to stand behind you and whisper in your ear, even if it's normal things, they like to tease you and see your reaction to them.
They have beautiful hands and because they've picked up on how much you like that part of them, they're constantly putting them on display so to speak. They also like to flex around you too. The physical attraction between the two of you is so carnal and thick, you could cut through it with a knife.
You two know each other, I am seeing a work setting. You're in an environment with them whereby if you weren't, you wouldn't know one another or be in the same circles because of how different you are. I am seeing that you guys are not dating when you have sex for the first time but it does become an exclusive relationship afterwards.
You mask your attraction to them behind annoyance, but because they're quite attractive and very charismatic, they can see it and they do things on purpose to get a rise out of you. Your discussions become quite heated with them, they like to debate with you.
Your future spouse is a brat tamer and you're a brat. Even if you're not into the BDSM lifestyle, they're definitely not vanilla, that's the kind of dynamic you have. So, your first time with them is very... unplanned. It's sudden and kind of just happens but it's so explosive. I see this happening in their space so to speak.
They spent so long teasing you and riling you up, that they have been doing it to themselves in the process as well.
It's as though your spouse was waiting so long for this and they have no control at all. They're like someone starved and they want to do everything with you. Meanwhile you're just head empty because did you want this all along? Ohmygoodness, you did!
Goodness, your first time is more like a quickie because you two just can't control yourselves around each other!
You both come to terms with your true feelings for each other during the act. It's like a revelation. You can't get enough of one another.
pile 3
Tantric sex. Your first time with your future spouse is so spiritual, it's proper lovemaking. Not rushed, no anxiety, no overthinking. This is like a joining of souls.
I'm seeing that you and you future spouse take the act of sex very, very seriously. You two are very involved in spirituality so you both don't want any unwanted soul ties or things like that. I am seeing you two waiting a looooong time before having sex. I'm seeing strongly that many of you will wait until you're married, I'm not seeing a conventional marriage ceremony either.
Because of the lifestyle you practice, you want to make sure that you're in this forever. Your future spouse already feels that they'll spend the rest of their earthly life with you and so they're not rushed to have you the first time. You on the other hand... you're chomping at the bit to have them and they know it but they always redirect your energy. Your libido seems a lot higher than theirs on the surface, but it's only because they've been practicing on controlling theirs a lot longer than you have.
I see that they were born into this lifestyle and these spiritual practices, and you only started later in life.
They try and get you to do other activities to get your mind off of sex but sometimes you'll just be looking at them and they'll catch you and be like, "Nah uh, not my goodies, not yet."
It's really not that they don't want you but they want things to be in place before they have you like that so to speak. Sometimes, even though you understand where they're coming from, you still feel at times that they're not into you.
All of that goes out of the window your first time with them!
They really set the mood with candles and music. They take their time preparing you as well. They'll give you a full body massage. They love to use their mouth on you... So, foreplay will have them with their head between your legs for a while.
I'm seeing that their eyes are on you constantly, even in the throws of pleasure they'll try to keep looking into your eyes. They'll be watching your reactions and they love to hear you.
Phew! It's hot in here!
You were not expecting your future spouse to be so intense and so passionate. Their sexual energy is not really "aggressive", it's more sensual. They want all of your senses to be tantalised. All of those times they have you do something else will be so worth it.
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sgtgarricks · 3 months ago
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thinking about free use!johnny...
afab!reader
cw: free use, p in v, overstimulation!!!!!!!!, creampie, degradation but with love, soap being nasty, reader is also nasty, i am reader.
no one look at me.
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johnny who starts dating you, who was always flustered and shy when it comes to initiating sex. he doesn't always catch when you ogle him, but when he does, he jumps immediately at the chance.
johnny who coos and nips at you when you wouldn't stop staring at his crotch. he thinks it's so adorable that you're still so shy around him even after dating him for months.
johnny who slowly takes your hand, kisses your fingers and places it on his hardening cock.
"is this what you want bonnie? you need me to fuck you?" he starts kissing your neck slowly when you give him a nod and press yourself closer to him.
johnny who gets a brilliant idea that he brings up to you on a random night.
"what do you think, hen? i think it'd be a great way for you to get more comfortable in asking for it!" he was propping his head on one hand, seemingly unfazed after the intense fucking he gave you few minutes prior.
"i-i'm not sure, johnny... isn't that kinda... degrading for you?" you question, eyes wide staring into johnny's baby blues. unexpectedly, he guffaws and brings a hand to your cheek.
"you're so silly bonnie, course not. 'm offering it for a reason, you don't have to do anything with ir. just know it's always on the table." you squeak when he pinches your cheek and the little shithead just grins at you.
"okay... so, anytime i want? are you sure?"
"aye, i'm sure. anytime you want."
free use!johnny who's genuinely surprised you're taking him up on his offer. it starts off slowly, you snuggle closer to him and mouths at his neck. his neck is slightly damp from the slow kisses you pepper everywhere.
normally, this is where he'd drop everything to pleasure you. but seeing you so needy for him and the thought of you having to beg him for what you want, gets his cock throbbing in his pants.
"johnny..." you whine in his ear, positioning yourself fully on his lap now, "need you so bad..."
and just like that his patience snaps. he flips you over on the couch and takes his shirt off, exposing his delicious abs that you sit up to lick. he holds your head while you continue to grope him all over.
"mmm, so needy... don't worry, 've got ye." he slowly removes you from him and you begin to protest when he places his mouth on your panties. your complaint dies out as you let out a long moan. he rubs you over your panties and places kisses all over your wet pussy.
"so fuckin' wet for me, bonnie." you try to push his head deeper into your pussy and he laughs, "you gotta ask for it." he teases you and runs a finger over your clothed folds.
"johnny, please! want your mouth and fingers in me!" you hear fabric tearing as his mouth latches on your clit. two of his thick fingers slide right in from how wet you are.
"oh, fuck... so good, johnny." you grind your hips into his mouth as his fingers keep pace, fingers curled hitting that gooey spot inside you. he's slobbering all over you, his own hips grinding into the bed.
you feel lightheaded from the stimulation, eyes closing and back arching. johnny's fingers move faster as he makes out with your drooling pussy.
"cum for me, bonnie." and you cum hard. pussy clenching his fingers tightly as juices squirt out all over his fingers and mouth. johnny lets out a moan and instead of stopping moves faster as you come down from your orgasm.
you breathe heavily as johnny slows down. he kisses your pussy gently before coming up to kiss you deeply. you can feel his cock still hard in his pants, but as your hand trails down, his hand stops you.
"not tonight. 'm so proud of you, bonnie." he places a gentle kiss on your forehead and cuddles you.
free use!johnny who, after putting the deal on the table begins to have more sex in a week than he could've imagined. before, you were getting fucked at least four times in a week, but now? he felt like he had unlocked something in you.
the first few weeks, you were still as shy as usual. initiating with slow kisses, pinching his butt, groping his arms. he was more than happy to indulge you. you were getting more confident and it made him happy.
free use!johnny who knows he definitely unleashed a fiend. you were insatiable, kneeling down and unzipping johnny's pants as he was watching the telly.
your head is bobbing up and down on his cock as johnny throws his head back in pleasure. you were drooling and slobbering all over his cock, tears in your eyes and johnny thinks you're the most beautiful person he's ever seen.
he let you set the pace for a few moments before losing control and thrusting into your hot mouth. you choke a little at the thick intrusion but push through as johnny's pace becomes ragged.
"such fuckin' good for me, hen... lettin' me fuck your mouth." you moan at his words, moving faster and licking all over his shaft. johnny whines at the feel of your tongue and thrusts a few more times.
you feel a his hot cum spurting down your throat and you gag at the sudden feeling. johnny groans, both hands gripping your head to keep it still.
after he let out the last few spurts, you slowly remove yourself and lick your lips. johnny was still recovering when you plopped on his lap, kissing his cheeks.
"thank you, johnny."
johnny, still coming down from his high and dazed, can only nod.
"anything f' you."
free use!johnny who doesn't think there would come a day where his cock might actually need a break. the two of you had been fucking like rabbits whenever there was a chance. before he left for work, when he came home, whenever you could find him, you would be on him.
johnny had only taken one step inside the apartment when you immediately dragged him to the couch and sat on his lap.
"bonnie-"
you tug his soft cock out of his pants and slide it along your already wet folds. he grunted when he felt how wet you were, hands immediately grabbing your hips as his tip slides into your warm heat.
"fuck, johnny... you're so big..." you grind your hips into his, matching his thrusts. his thighs were meeting yours with every rise as you use him.
"yeah? y'like my cock?" he grits, fingers playing with your clit.
"y-yeah.. l-love your cock!"
"it's yours, baby.. so take it." he pounds deliciously into your squelching pussy, his tip hitting your cervix. you can feel every throb inside your walls.
neither of you were going to last long, you'd been wet thinking about him all day and the way he keeps hitting your gooey spot has stars dotting your vision.
"'m gonna cum.." you warn him as he begins to move even faster.
"cum for me. cream on my fucking fat cock, baby. make a mess of it." his lips latches onto your nipple, tongue swirling and sucking as his finger draws circles on your clit.
johnny feels when you cum and it draws out his climax. he groans as he can feel cum spurt from his softening cock. he gives one last thrust, plugging you tightly.
he rests his head on your shoulder, panting heavily. he kisses your shoulder gently and was about to slowly pull out when you begin to move again.
your eyes were closed with your hands around his neck when you begin to slowly grind on him again. he groans at the overstimulation, his cock still throbbing.
"fuckin' minx you are..."
"johnny.. please..."
he doesn't think he has anything left in his balls after you drained him. but he's a weak man. he can never say no to you. grunting, he begins to move his hips again.
"so fucking needy... that why you were so shy, hen? didn't want me to know how much you loved my cock?" he says in your ear, regaining his stamina to pull you down onto him as he thrusts up.
"such a slut for my cock, aren't you?" you can't speak. your mouth was perpetually open, head thrown back in pleasure. your thighs were shaking from exhaustion but you couldn't stop yourself from slamming back onto johnny.
he stops moving when you don't respond and you immediately indulge him.
"y-yeah, 'm a slut johnny.. l-love your cock so much!"
he flips you over so you're on your back. you whine when he slips out and he shushes you. he grabs your legs and moves you into a mating press. when he slips back in you gush around him. the couch was positively defiled with how you two were going at it.
"gonna be the death of me.." he mumbles. he was sweating profusely and were you not in a mating press you would've leaned up to smell him. you let him pound you into the couch, content to just lay there and take what he gives you.
it doesn't take long for you to feel your climax coming, your thighs begin to shake and your walls begin to pulsate. instead of speeding up, johnny slows down. opting to lean almost all the way out, before thrusting deeply. each motion sends a glob of his cum out of your pussy and you moan.
eventually, your back arches and you reach your high. your climax triggers johnny's as he cums once more inside your ruined pussy. the both of you weren't speaking anymore, too fucked out to say anything.
he slowly pulls out of you, wincing slightly. he tries to get up but fails and ends up collapsing on your chest. he mumbles something about his balls running out of cum and closes his eyes.
you laugh, content and stroke his hair gently.
"thank you, johnny."
"i think 'm gonna pass out now."
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singmyaubade · 11 months ago
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Shades Of Cool
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toxic!dark!rafe cameron x female!pogue!reader
summary: you are just living your life, completely normal and free. but, what happens when rafe cameron decides that you are his? he's danger.
warnings: smut! 18+ stalking, manipulation, rafe is obsessed with reader, fingering, swearing, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, praise, oral (male receiving), dark!rafe cameron, choking, jealousy, violence, heavy smut..
a/n: i'm delighted I'm finally starting this, even if it took me so long. i genuinely hope you all enjoy this series. i understand that this a bit short, but the narrative is only getting started, so things will only get wilder! however, it is to be expected—this is a rafe cameron fic.
series
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One thing that you hated about Outer Banks was how the heat still radiated at night, causing excessive amounts of water to be drank and a great amount of fans that blew hot air into your face.
It only made everyone irritable and only caused more arguments like now,
"I swear to god JJ, I am about to fucking murder you if you say another word," You hissed, giving him a glare as he mockingly grew scared.
"I agree," Cleo said before falling back into her nap.
"All I'm saying is that we have been moping around here for hours meanwhile we could be partying on the fresh beach and cool water," JJ replied, using his hands to represent the scenery to all of you.
"I'm going to have to agree with Y/N," Pope said, turning his head to JJ, "I'm already in tough shit with my parents for when you knocked over my great-grandmothers vase," Pope glared.
JJ put his hands up in defense, "I told you tequila makes me clumsy,"
"Besides every single Kook is there, including Rafe and if he sees Sarah with us, it will only bring another fight and you are not going back to jail," Kie warned, still closing her eyes while the fan blew the air in her face, blowing her hair.
"When have we ever been scared of Rafe?" JJ asked.
"When he gave me a full smackdown for doing my job," Pope scoffed.
"And when he almost drowned me," Sarah chimed in from across the room where she was laying on John B's legs on the carpet floor.
"And when he shot Sheriff Peterkin in front of us," John B added.
"And when-" Pope began.
"Okay that's enough," He said as you giggled, turning your head back to the fan.
You didn't know much about Rafe Cameron since you had moved to Outer Banks only last year and you had met the "star Pogues" a few months ago.
You had never really seen Rafe's face ever, only heard of him honestly.
But you didn't know if it was a bad thing.
All you had heard about was how evil and villainous he was which caused some places to be off limits for the fact that the boys couldn't handle another beat down with the Kooks and there was a greater matter at hand.
But still, you always were curious about "evil" Rafe Cameron.
"You guys are no fun," JJ pouted, sitting beside you on the couch.
You patted the lower part of his leg, "Poor baby," You sarcastically said to which moved his leg swiftly causing you to laugh.
Suddenly the lights and fans turned off as you all except for JJ groaned, knowing that meant the electricity was off you and you would have to deal with the heat and darkness.
Which meant the only choice was the beach party,
JJ cheered, "I win!"
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You crossed your arms as you walked on the warm sand, lots of cheering and loud music around you. You could see the Kooks and the Pogues in their own groups, not daring to interact with eachother.
It was hard to get used to the fact that there were two groups of people based on economic statuses and that it meant that if you were one thing, the other one hated you.
You had never been to a place like that but you just kinda got used to it.
Yet you still could never tell which group was really which sometimes.
You were forced to walk around by yourself as John B and Sarah wandered off to a quiet spot while JJ started drinking with Kie as his babysitter and Cleo and Pope wandered around.
All of it sounded like a lot of third wheeling which made you stay away.
But you didn't mind being alone, you liked listening to the waves and watching the festivities that went along with a party.
And you knew that a beer would help you get more into the party festivities.
You walked over the keg where a man with a shaved head and a matching tank top and shorts poured himself a beer as you curiously looked at him.
You had to admit that he was one of the most attractive men you had seen before.
His lips were a perfect shade of pink and they were smooth like sucking on a cherry. His veins were bulging from his hands and you could see the peach fuzz on his jawline that you could only really see upclose.
You snapped out of your analysis as he looked at you as you waited there awkwardly, forming a smile on your face.
"Sorry to creepily stand here, I'm just trying to get a uh-" You said, pointing to the keg.
His face studied you for a second, almost as if he was trying to figure you out. You could tell by his face that he had never seen you before and he looked as if he was trying to figure out if you were a Kook or Pogue.
He chuckled, "Didn't mean to take so long, I wouldn't have if I had seen your pretty face sooner," He smirked, looking you up and down, causing you to blush.
You felt stupid for blushing over something that a man probably said to every pretty girl he saw but you felt something different about him.
You were taken aback by his boldness, "Do you say that to every women that waits for her turn on the keg?" You teased.
"Only the pretty ones," He replied, causing you to laugh.
"Smooth talker I see," You smiled.
"Always," He joked, "I swear I've never seen you around and usually, you know everyone in Outer Banks," He probed.
"Yeah, I just moved here last year," You answered, "I haven't made my rounds yet,"
"Figured," He said, "I would've definitely noticed you,"
"Pfft," You beamed, "I'm sure you would've walked past me on the beach, there are many beautiful girls here,"
"Nah," He laughed, looking off, "You are different from them,"
"How could you already assume that?" You asked, curiosity biting at you.
"For one, you aren't stuck up and preppy which is most the girls on this island," He grinned as you giggled.
"Ay, they aren't all like that," You replied.
"Most of 'em," He added, "But I don't pay much attention to them,"
"Figures," You said, eyebrow raising.
He saw your eyes move the keg and his cup before he offered his cup forward.
"Might as well take mine, I wouldn't feel proud of myself if I let you pour one yourself," He winked.
Great attempt at being a gentlemen.
"No no, I got it," You said before he shook his head.
"I insist" He said, his thumb grazing yours.
"Thank you," You smiled, "I'm Y/N" You introduced, taking the cup from him while extending your other hand for him to shake.
He shook your hand, "I'm Rafe," He replied with a smile as yours slowly fell.
The Rafe? The Rafe you were basically supposed to never interact with and who was the supposed devil? That Rafe?
"Rafe Cameron?" You asked, standing frozen.
"Guess my reputation precedes me," He joked as you didn't laugh but instead cleared your throat.
You took your hand back quickly, "Oh, i-it's nice to meet you," You cleared your throat, "My friends are waiting so I'm gonna-"
He clearly figured you out, "Pogue, I'm guessing?" He snickered.
Your face wrinkled, "Is that supposed to be a funny thing?"
"Hilarious actually," He answered, only angering you more.
"I don't see what's funny about that?" You crossed your arms with ur drink resting in your hand.
He wiped his jaw, "Must be tough at the bottom of the food chain,"
Your nose flared, "Must be tough being an elite asshole,"
He laughed, "I just think it's an unfortunate cause, I mean it's just unlucky," He smirked.
Asshole.
"Unlucky?" Your lip pursed, " I think what's more unlucky is thinking that your cool for a fucked up economic status that has been perpetuated on an island,"
"I just don't believe your friends belong on Outer Banks," He said, not a hint of hesitance in his voice.
He really believed in this bullshit.
"I mean you would really rather hang out with a group of dirty Pogues?" He snickered, looking off.
"Well I am one of them and they are my friends," You scoffed, "You seem more dirty than us," You insulted.
"Is that so?" Rafe mocked.
"Do you wanna talk about your father's dirty money?" You asked.
"I would watch that pretty mouth," He replied, inching closer.
"Or what?" You hummed, acting braver than you usually would.
"Fuck around and find out sweetheart," He came closer, breath fawning on your face.
The whiskey on his breath kissed your nose but not breaking your eye contact with him as you inched closer, eyes on his lips.
As he tried to close the gap, you threw the drink in his face. "Oohs" and snickers filled around the both of you as you stomped away from him.
He smirked, wiping the alcohol off of his face.
'What an asshole,' You thought,
Little did you know that Rafe only grew to like you more.
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You found JJ and Kie sitting by the beach together as she laid her head on his shoulder. You were thinking about interrupting them but tarnish their moment, you choosing instead to call it a night and also you didn't feel like trying to find the rest of the group.
You were glad that you knew yourself enough to drive to the party considering that you got tired fast. You couldn't really see in the parking lot due to how dark it was and away from the lights.
You digged in your back pocket for your phone to pull out of the flashlight as you reached for your keys but dropped them instead in the process.
You audibly groaned as you searched on the floor in the darkness for the keys. You went on your knees with your flashing light, searching on the ground as you heard footsteps behind you, darting your flashlight behind you but seeing nothing.
You had a bad feeling but you thought it was paranoia because you were alone in the parking lot and maybe a little due to the interaction you had earlier with Rafe.
You couldn't stop thinking about how he came off as nice but switched so quickly into an elitist piece of shit.
Sounds like how they described him.
But still, there was a pit in your stomach that felt like butterflies when he grazed your thumb.
You sighed, pushing the thoughts out as you finally grabbed your keys, using the concrete-sanded floor push yourself back up off the ground.
Suddenly, you felt a cloth on your mouth and a hand covering your waist as your muffled screams filled the parking lot, trying to kick your attacker behind you.
You felt yourself drifting into the darkness as you screamed one last time,
And everything went black.
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tags: @hysteriahall @avengersassemblee @lighttism @whereismymindnow @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @vi06ma01 @haven247 @vanessa-rafesgirl @blvebanisters @riordanness @aleidag1rly @muzanjackson22
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