#OKAY I AM SORRY I CANNOT CONTROL HER SHE'S FERAL & JUST

[lunaetis]

@maquiscursed asked :

wriothesley growls into arle's ear before he returns to his 20th cup of tea for the day. she was blocking access to the kettle :(

unprompted. || always accepting

─「アルレッキーノ」─  was she getting in his way on purpose ? the KNAVE had long since learned to read his movements enough to predict what he was aiming for by following his line of vision alone. or one could say she had been in his head for long enough to understand what he might desire even before his BODY was heading for it. the harbinger was almost cackling in delight over that deep GROWL deposited close to her ear. thin lips were tugged upwards, cross-shaped hues glancing at the warden with a sort of smile that guaranteed to get on his nerves.

                " don't threaten me with a good time if you aren't going to follow up with it, warden. " the sound of that FERAL GROWL alone was gratifying. the fourth tilted her head back, a chuckle echoed from the back of her throat as clawed digits curled underneath her chin. the smile she wore allowed her own sharp fangs to peek from the corner of it. she could see it in his gaze, he still wanted the kettle. crimson nails dragged over the porcelain handle, the tip clinking against the surface idly.

                head dipped, lips rested close to his ear and a CHILL-INDUCING WHISPER dropped into the quiet air. " if you sink your fangs into me, i'll let you fill your cup despite how you had obviously exceeded the recommended consumption for caffeine. "

[ittybxttykxttytxtty]

Hello, fair warning. This chapter gave me deep feelings. Please understand that my feelings are required to be in capital letters.

He'd heard the way you'd slammed the door on your way out of his apartment that night. He knew how hurt and upset you’d been. But when you’d started crying because he had been planning to go out again, he'd wanted to comfort you– tried to–but you'd rejected him so easily instead. And that hurt him deeply. Because Matt had always thought you were different, that you understood him. That you loved him for who he was–you'd certainly always assured him that you did. 

I HAVE NO WORDS. MATTHEW. MICHAEL. MURDOCK YOU IDIOT. YOU MASSIVE BARELY FUNCTIONING ADULT. YOU DOLT. IDEK WHAT TO SAY.

But you’d made that choice, he reminded himself. You had walked out on him. That thought only had Matt grinding his teeth together, anger coursing through him.

YOU WALKED OUT FIRST, YOU STALE BAGUETTE.

You weren’t the woman he’d thought you were after all. And that hurt.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?!?!?! BAILING ON DATES, NOT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF, TAKING THE READER FOR GRANTED. ALWAYS EXPECTING HER TO BE AT YOUR BECK AND CALL LIKE A FUCKING DOORMAT. BELLA, ISTG. COME GET UR MAN. I AM TURNING FERAL

Also, sidenote. I think this is a common trope in superhero stories??? The difficulty of living a double life, like in this context for example. He should always be Matthew Michael Murdock, first and Daredevil, second. Matt can live without Daredevil but Daredevil can't exist/live without Matt. That's how it should be,anyways. Am I making sense?

Anyways, point is....he managed to live a life without Daredevil most of his existence. So why put being Matt on the back burner?!?! Take care of the host body, ya know? Without it there wont be a Daredevil. Dont let your alter ego take control of your life.

“ She left me ,” Matt snarled back. “Why the hell is that so difficult for you to understand, Fog? Why must you always assume that I did something? Clearly she wasn’t who I thought she was because she couldn’t accept me and what I do. Who I am .”

SHE ACCEPTED YOU. BRAIN DEAD AND ALL. WHY CANT YOU AT LEAST MAKE AM EFFORT AND MEET HER HALFWAY????!!!!!! MATTHEW. PLEASE. I AM BEGGING YOU. 🥹🥹🥹

“Ahh,” Foggy said, pushing off the counter. “This is because of Daredevil. I figured as much. So tell me what happened then, because I’m about to slap you upside the head and tell you you’re wrong.”

Daredevil works hard ... but Foggy works harder ..by cleaning up Matt's mess. Foggy, baby, I'm sorry that this trick ass hoe is messing with your schedule. It will never happen again 😩😩😩

“Okay, so,” Foggy continued carefully, “if I’m understanding this right, you’ve been canceling plans on your girl for a while now and she’d been upset about that. And then she comes and says she really needs to talk to you, and you what? Bail on her again? Quite aggressively, I’m gathering?”

✨ IN FRANKLIN PERCY NELSON WE TRUST, YALL. ✨ 🕊️

He’d hurt you, too. Long before you’d hurt him.

Matt scoffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’m sure Daredevil showing up on her fire escape would go over real well with her right now.”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

please tell me he does that and he hears the lil baby devil's heart beat and mistakes it for the reader moving on with another person. MAKE IT LONG AND ANGSTY THAT IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH HURLING CRYING SCREAMING. Please and thank you 💕

additional thots:

- Karen and Foggy are working over time, they should be paid for it honestly.

- Cannot wait for Matt to to grovel, ik ive been saying this since ch.01 but listen...I AM WEAK FOR A MAN GROVELING. KNOWING THEY WERE WRONG. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT IT, OKAY?!?!

- also........I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE MAKE UP SEX THAT WILL EVENTUALLY HAPPEN. IDC IF ITS ROUGH AND HARD OR TENDER AND SOFT. BUT PLEASE PLEASE MAKE THEM CRY OUT OF PLEASURE, PAIN, AND RELIEF. 😌😌😌

This fic is so good. I've been waiting to read every update after work so I can focus on feeling the angst ✨

Seeking Forgiveness [Part Three]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3k

[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader

a/n: This one is entirely in Matt's POV and I'm curious to see how y'all react to his side of things! Feedback is always appreciated!

Tag List: @mattmurdocksstarlight @just-going-through-the-motions @paracosmic-murdock @yeonalie @auroraslibrary @1988-fiend @will-delete-this-later-probably@two-unbeatable-beaters @danzer8705 @ragamuffin285 @callmebrooklynbabes @spookyboogyuniverse @peachy-aisha @stevenknightmarc @nerdytreeflower @fucktthisworld @remuslupinwifee @kmc1989 @mywellspringoflife @thornbushrose @yarrystyleeza @shiorimakibawrites @thychuvaluswife @marvelcinematiquniverse @vallovesthedilfs @scoliobean @this--is--music

The ear-splitting and repeated honking of car horns on the street below harshly woke Matt, the sound shrill and piercing first thing in the morning. Seconds later the continuing noise drew forth a pounding headache that reverberated painfully in his head. Gritting his teeth in frustration, he rolled onto his side with a groan, his entire body loudly protesting the movement. He could feel a few new bruises he'd added to the others already scattered around his body, the new ones violently throbbing along his lower back and his left shoulder as consciousness abruptly returned to him.

Matt had been out well into the early morning hours running around Hell’s Kitchen tracking a man by the name of Petrov. He was the man that Matt had recently come to learn was the current leader of the Russian mafia now settled in his city. All of last night he had been trying to figure out where the new shipment of drugs would be coming into Hell's Kitchen at, but he'd yet again come home without the information he'd wanted. In a sour mood, he'd taken his anger out on a mugger while returning to his apartment, leaving the man more battered than he probably should have. 

And his sour mood quickly returned when he realized he was alone in his bed again, the cold from the lack of you often curled under the sheets with him exceptionally noticeable this morning–more than it had been for the past few weeks. Because you had left him, deciding not to stay and wait for him to return the other night. Leaving him like everyone else always did, unable to accept that he and the Devil were the same man. That he needed to let that other side of himself out to protect Hell’s Kitchen.

He'd heard the way you'd slammed the door on your way out of his apartment that night. He knew how hurt and upset you’d been. But when you’d started crying because he had been planning to go out again, he'd wanted to comfort you– tried to–but you'd rejected him so easily instead. And that hurt him deeply. Because Matt had always thought you were different, that you understood him. That you loved him for who he was–you'd certainly always assured him that you did. 

But it sure as hell hadn’t felt like that to him the other night. Not with how quick you were to reject him and walk out on him. You’d never tried to reach out to him all of Friday, either. Whatever important thing you’d wanted to discuss with him the other night must’ve been what he’d initially suspected it to be. That you wanted to end the relationship. Truthfully he hadn’t wanted to hear you say the words out loud which was partially why he didn’t want to give you a chance to speak.

Matt knew he'd been canceling plans on you repeatedly, though he admittedly hadn't realized just for how long he'd been doing it with the way his days had been blurring together from his lack of proper sleep. But it hadn't been intentional. He hadn't meant to hurt you and he'd felt terrible every single time he had. It always nagged at him while he was out, the memory of the way your heart stuttered each and every time you saw him in his suit never far from his mind as he tried to focus on his late night task. 

And it wasn't like he was out cheating on you or ditching you for his friends. What he was doing was the equivalent of being needed at a job–because that's how he saw what he did. As a responsibility he had to the people of Hell’s Kitchen. He'd honestly thought he'd be able to make it up to you once he'd gotten the situation with the Russians under control, but apparently he wasn't important enough for you to wait for him. And sure, he had to admit that he'd been awful to you the other night with the way he'd spoken to you, but the judgment and rejection from you had really upset him, as did the fear of hearing you tell him you were done with him. So he'd closed himself off to you, hoping to lessen how much you leaving him would hurt.

But Matt didn’t want to think about that this morning. His head ached enough from all the physical exertion last night and from not getting enough sleep. Those damn cars honking had ruined whatever sleeping in he hoped he’d have this Saturday morning, the sound of the city far too loud for him to lay back down and fall asleep now. 

Though if you’d been here–

With a growl Matt tore the sheets off of himself, tossing his legs over the side of his bed and shoving all thoughts of you to the side. He didn’t want to think about you right now. He wanted coffee, desperately hoping that would wake him up and help the throbbing of his head.

Shuffling out of his bedroom, half limping in pain as he walked, he navigated his way through his living room and into the kitchen. He went straight for his coffee maker, turning it on and preparing a pot of coffee. He knew he was going to need a few cups already. 

As the coffee brewed, Matt leant his back against the kitchen counter. His eyes closed as he ran a hand over his tired face, aware that his apartment seemed noticeably quieter and lonelier without you here. He’d been noticing that for weeks now, and every time he did he felt his heart sink a bit in his chest. Though this morning he almost felt sick at the emptiness here, as if someone had punched him right in the gut when he realized you were never coming back.

But you’d made that choice, he reminded himself. You had walked out on him. That thought only had Matt grinding his teeth together, anger coursing through him.

You weren’t the woman he’d thought you were after all. And that hurt.

The coffee machine began to sputter out his coffee, the noise loud and irritating to his ears this morning. Matt turned around, reaching a hand up to grab a mug from the open shelf on the wall. But a round of knocks coming from his apartment door rang out and he hesitated, his hand hovering just before the row of coffee cups. Brows furrowing together, his head shifted over his shoulder as he wondered how he’d been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized someone had approached his door. Though after a few seconds he soon realized that it was Foggy standing in the hallway and flipping through some paperwork that he’d brought with him.

Matt’s hand dropped to his side and he turned, a frown settling on his lips as he made his way through his kitchen and down his entryway hall. He unlocked the door, briskly swinging it open. It didn’t escape his notice how Foggy had startled in the hall at the abruptness.

“Fog,” Matt greeted flatly.

He could practically feel the way his friend’s eyes scanned over him, the sound of Foggy’s face shifting into a frown not lost on Matt. He imagined the bruises were quite visible, especially since he hadn’t managed to put a shirt on.

“You look like shit, Matt,” Foggy stated bluntly. “How long were you out last night?”

Matt turned, leaving the door open as he half-limped, half-shuffled his way back down the entryway hall. He listened as Foggy stepped inside, closing the door after himself before slipping out of his shoes. By the time Foggy had followed Matt into the kitchen, Matt had already managed to pour himself a cup of coffee, drinking a sip of it black.

“You want some coffee?” Matt asked him, avoiding the initial question.

“No, I’m good,” Foggy answered slowly, resting his arms on the kitchen counter and leaning over it. “I had some earlier before I left to come deliver the documents I told you I was bringing over this morning. Which I’m guessing…you forgot about, judging by the fact that it looks like you just rolled out of a dumpster that you used for a bed.”

Matt’s lips pursed together at Foggy as he drew his mug back up to his mouth, his eyes narrowing in obvious irritation. “Not a morning for jokes, Fog.”

“Is there ever with you lately?” Foggy grumbled. 

Matt drank down more of his coffee, the throbbing of his head not helped by the way Foggy was drumming his fingers along the countertop. He could hear the way his friend was looking around his apartment, probably noticing the way it had looked neater than usual. Which was due to the fact that neither of you had been in his apartment much for the past few weeks. The moment he heard Foggy’s mouth open, inhaling that small bit of breath, Matt knew what he was going to say. And it wasn’t a subject he wanted to discuss.

“Where’s your other half?” Foggy asked, glancing back towards the closed bedroom door, entirely missing the way Matt had winced at the question. “Thought she usually spent the weekends with you. Is she still asleep?”

Matt ground his teeth together, roughly exhaling a sharp breath. He knew he’d ask about you.

“No, she’s not here,” Matt replied coldly.

He heard the way Foggy had stiffened against the counter at his words and the tone of his voice. Slowly, Foggy’s head turned back towards Matt. Matt’s lips thinned out in irritation, not liking the minute shift in Foggy’s posture.

“So the documents–”

“What’d you do, Matt?” Foggy asked sharply, cutting him off.

Matt’s hand gripped his coffee mug tighter in his fist, surprising even himself when it didn’t break in his grip. His jaw clenched at the question and the accusation from his best friend.

“What makes you think this was my fault?” he growled back, voice low and dangerous.

Foggy was nodding swiftly as if he’d known something had happened. He didn’t seem remotely affected by Matt’s obvious anger, clearly prepared to discuss this more. That only annoyed Matt further.

“So you two broke up? Karen and I thought as much with the way you’d been mopey and snippy around the office yesterday,” Foggy said. “What happened? Because one minute you’re telling me she’s the one, that she’s going to move in with you soon, and the next–” he waved a hand around the apartment, “–you’re a damn bachelor again. So what’d you do? Because I know damn well she didn’t end things, not with the way she always looked at you like the sun rises and falls out of your ass, Matt.”

“ She left me ,” Matt snarled back. “Why the hell is that so difficult for you to understand, Fog? Why must you always assume that I did something? Clearly she wasn’t who I thought she was because she couldn’t accept me and what I do. Who I am .”

“Ahh,” Foggy said, pushing off the counter. “This is because of Daredevil. I figured as much. So tell me what happened then, because I’m about to slap you upside the head and tell you you’re wrong.”

Matt stalked across the kitchen in aggravation, slamming his mug down onto the counter that separated him from Foggy. The hot liquid splashed over his hand as Foggy briefly jumped at his outburst. The faint scent of fear soon hitting his nose was what had Matt’s eyes snapping shut, aware he was getting too riled up at this topic. That his anger was finally starting to make Foggy nervous.

Because it was about you and it hurt.

“She said she had something she needed to tell me,” Matt replied through clenched teeth, trying to rein in his frustration and heartache. “But I needed to go out as Daredevil. I was planning to interrupt a meeting with the Russians. The ones I’d been telling you about.” He exhaled a sharp breath, his left hand clamping onto the kitchen counter as he continued, hoping to ground himself and control his rage. “She was upset that I was going out again when we’d had plans. Said she really needed to talk to me. So I told her she could tell me afterwards when I came back and she got upset.”

There was a brief silence following his explanation, Matt hearing the way Foggy’s head had shifted to the side.

“And you were…growly Devil when you were talking with her weren’t you?” Foggy asked, gesturing a hand at Matt. “Like you are now?”

Matt grunted, shame burning through him as his eyes once again fell shut. Yes. 

“Maybe,” he grumbled.

“Okay, so,” Foggy continued carefully, “if I’m understanding this right, you’ve been canceling plans on your girl for a while now and she’d been upset about that. And then she comes and says she really needs to talk to you, and you what? Bail on her again? Quite aggressively, I’m gathering?”

“That’s–that’s not exactly right,” Matt said, shaking his head. “I didn’t bail on her. The city needed me, Fog.”

“Sounds like she needed you more, buddy,” Foggy countered.

Matt’s eyes snapped open, his sightless gaze landing somewhere near Foggy in a glare. “I gave her the option to stay and wait for me to come back. To tell me what she needed to then. She chose to leave. I haven’t heard from her since, so I’m guessing her important talk was about her wanting to tell me that she wanted to end things. That she couldn’t handle me being Daredevil after all.”

Foggy scoffed, shaking his head at Matt. He could hear the way his friend’s mouth had yet again curved into a frown. Something like guilt twisted in Matt’s stomach at the way that night had played out but he quickly buried it under his anger and hurt. 

“Why do you do that?” Foggy asked softly.

“ What ?” Matt snapped.

“This,” Foggy answered, waving a hand frantically at Matt. “That self-sabotaging thing you do. Things were good with you both. Great, actually. You were happy , Matt. And then you go diving into your hero bullshit and push people away. Making assumptions about her wanting to end things like you know that’s exactly what she wanted to talk to you about.”

“I do not self-sabotage,” Matt shot back. 

“Then why’d you push her away?” Foggy countered.

“Because the city needs me!” Matt exclaimed in exasperation, throwing his hands on his hips. “You know that and she knew that!”

A glaring silence settled in Matt’s apartment after his loud outburst. Matt’s tongue slipped out, wetting his lips repeatedly in his agitation. He heard the very faint sigh Foggy emitted, even with the way his headache had worsened.

“I think you’re reading things entirely wrong, man,” Foggy said, tone softer. “I don’t think she was trying to break up with you. I think you fucked up. Big time. And judging by the way you’re incredibly defensive and angry, you really, really love her.”

Matt’s nostrils flared, his eyes still glaring sharply in the direction of his friend. Though a part of himself was beginning to wonder if maybe, just maybe, Foggy was onto something. At least, about him fucking up. He was still pretty certain you’d wanted to break up with him. Because he had been canceling plans on you for weeks now. And you’d been getting hurt by him doing that pretty quickly, too. And he’d noticed, but he kept on putting off making things up to you because he’d been too focused on prioritizing the Russians. He’d hurt you, too. Long before you’d hurt him.

That guilt and shame stirred in Matt’s stomach again, threatening to overtake his own rage and heartache. But he couldn’t have been wrong about what you’d wanted to talk to him about, right? Because what else could it possibly have been besides an ultimatum for him to quit being Daredevil and to choose you instead?

“I think,” Foggy continued slowly, “that you need to go call her up. Put your tail between your legs and go beg for her forgiveness, Matt. Because you fucked up, admit it. I can see that realization dawning on your face right now, buddy. Talk to her. Apologize on your goddamn knees every day until she takes you back. Because we both know she was the best damn thing that ever happened to you.”

“She was,” Matt whispered, his gaze dropping down to the floor. “She always was.”

“Then go get her!” Foggy exclaimed, slamming his fist onto Matt’s countertop. “Fix things!”

He stepped around the kitchen counter, reaching out to slap Matt good-naturedly on the shoulder. Matt winced at the gesture when Foggy’s hand landed on a bruise and Foggy quickly muttered out an apology. 

Rubbing his arm, Matt let out a sigh. “How am I supposed to fix things, Fog?” he asked. “What if she really doesn’t love the part of me that is Daredevil like she thought she did? I can’t give this up. I’m not going to.”

“There’s no way that bullshit is the reason,” Foggy told him. “Not with all the different ways she’s been there for you and your vigilante ass this whole time, Matt. She loves Daredevil just as much as you. But as for fixing things?” Foggy shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, man. I think your first step is to reach out to her, though. Try to get her to talk to you. Apologize and maybe find out what it was she needed to tell you. Because I’m guessing knowing what that was will tell you how royally you fucked up here.”

“Yeah,” Matt said with a sigh. “You’re probably right. Though I have a feeling she’s not going to want to talk to me.”

“You just keep trying until she does,” Foggy told him. “And if all else fails, maybe you can romantically show up on her fire escape and profess your love to her or something?”

Matt scoffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’m sure Daredevil showing up on her fire escape would go over real well with her right now.”

[moonmoonthecrabking]

a metric fuck-tonne of rtc incorrect quotes

Ocean: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me. Constance: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Ocean: Yes! Noel: And I thought your life couldn't get any sadder. Constance: Maybe you, I'm a damn delight.

Constance: Noel, keep an eye on Ocean today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Noel: Sure, I’d love to see Ocean get punched. Constance: Try again. Noel, sighing: I will stop Ocean from getting punched.

Ocean: Penny and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Noel: Sighing What did Penny do? Ocean: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and… Penny: Who wants a steering wheel?

Ocean: Ugh. I'm going to regret asking this, but why are you on the floor? Noel: I'm depressed. Noel: Also I was stabbed, can you get Mischa, please.

Ricky (through an aac): We need to get through this locked door. Constance, give me your credit card. Constance: Here! Ricky, pocketing it (still through an aac): Thanks. Mischa, kick down the door.

Ricky (through an aac): My dear, if I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Penny: How am I supposed to know? Noel (shouting from the kitchen): You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Penny: sighs Penny: You wouldn't be trapped.

Constance: Dandelions symbolise everything I want to be in life Ricky (using an aac): Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Constance: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Mischa: edible

Noel: Mischa stole from me first! Ocean: Mhm. Noel: Stole my heart… Ocean: It is still illegal to commit murder. Penny: Only if you get caught.

Mischa: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Ocean: Mischa no. Constance: Mistlefoe. Ocean: Please stop encouraging them. Constance: Sorry! ;)

Ricky: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Penny: What's that? Ricky (through an aac): Remorse code. Penny: I'm even angrier now.

Constance: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Ocean: Does anyone in this gosh darned group ever think before they speak? Constance: Sorry, Ocean! I love you. Ocean: That's the only reasonable thing I've heard come out of your mouth this week. Constance: Ocean: Love you too.

Constance: Ocean! My face is on fire! Ocean: Constance! Are you ok?! Constance: Sorry, I'm fine! I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly. Ocean: But your face is on fire. Constance: Yes! It's much faster than shaving.

Karnak, negotiating with Noel: We have Ocean. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed Ocean: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars? Noel: Karnak: Ocean: MAKE IT ONE MILLION– Noel: OCEAN SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH YOU'RE LUCKY I'M RESCUING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE

Ocean: WHY. why did you give Noel a KNIFE?! Penny: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Ocean: Now I feel unsafe! Penny: I’m sorry. Penny: … would you like a knife?

Ocean: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Constance: Okay, but in my defense, Mischa bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Ocean: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?! Ricky (through an aac): For 50 cents? Weak.

Constance: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. Mischa: You were flirting with Ocean. Constance: So what? She's my wife! Mischa: You asked her if she was single. Constance: Mischa: And then you cried when she said she wasn't.

Penny: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Ocean: You are not what the world needs. Noel: But you are a coward. DO TWENTY.

Noel: Care for another sundae, weenie? Ocean: I am not a weenie! Ricky (through an aac): Relax, you’re among friends. raises their drink Ocean: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s. Mischa: You tell ‘em, Ocean! sips their drink Noel (betrayed): Mischa, what’re you doing here? Mischa (equally as betrayed): I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

Constance: Hi, I know I of all people should be able to tell, but is Ocean sleeping or dead? Noel: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Ricky (through an aac device): Yeah, so did I. Ocean: Okay first of all, how dare you-

Ocean: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Noel: Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Ricky (through an aac device): Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Constance: Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

Noel: Tonight, one of you will piss me off. Constance: Is it me, Noel? Noel: No, it’s not you. Ricky (through an aac device): Is it me, Noel? Noel: It’s not you either. Ocean: Is it me, Noel? Noel: Noel, mockingly: Is IT mE Noel? What the fuck do you think.

Ocean: How did none of you hear what I just said? Ricky (using an aac device): I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Constance: I got distracted about halfway through, sorry! Noel: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Ocean, about Mischa: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Noel (slightly too eager): Are we stealing them? Ricky (using an aac): New or used? Constance: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Ricky (using an aac): Self care is actually getting into fights with dog aliens who suppress cat aliens' rights on strange planets. Ocean: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Constance: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Noel: Lmao self care is taking Ocean's birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Ocean: If you touch the birthday cake Constance made for me I’ll make you eat your hands.

Constance, setting down a card: Ace of spades RIcky, pulling out an Uno card that says: +4 Noel, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Ocean, trembling: What are we playing?

Mischa (referring to Ocean): I prevented a murder today! :D Talia: Really? How’d you do that? Mischa: self control.

Mischa: I actually have a black belt. Noel: In what, karate? Mischa: No, from Gucci. Mischa: Admittedly, I stole it from my adoptive mother. She didn't even realise it was gone.

Noel: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Noel: i became more evil if you’re curious Constance: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Noel: i’m going to get worse on purpose

Constance: Stubs their toe FUCK! Ocean: Mind your language! Constance: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Ocean: Constance: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Mischa: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Talia: What did you my love? Mischa: A MISTAKE

Mischa: You're like 10 times funnier and sexier than me Talia: 10 times infinity is still infinity though Mischa: Jokes on you, I'm too bisexual to do math Talia: My love, so am I, but I have common sense (and that's how passionflower came out to each other)

Talia: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Mischa: Twelve, actually. Talia: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Mischa: Mine! Talia: That's right: no one's.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Incorrect Heroes Of Olympus:

(Starting with couples, going into trios, then mixing them all together)

Percy: So are we flirting right now?

Annabeth: I AM LITERALLY SPARRING WITH YOU

Percy: That doesn’t answer my question

-

Will, tending to Nico’s wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Nico: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

-

Nico: I prevented a murder today.

Will: Really? How’d you do that?

Nico: Self control.

-

Percy: Am I in trouble?

Annabeth: Take a guess.

Percy: No?

Annabeth: Take another guess.

-

Nico: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Leo: *Out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

-

Jason: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Piper: It’s not a joke.

Piper: *sniffles*

Piper: I’m a legit snack.

-

Percy: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Nico: Stop romanticizing the past.

-

Leo: I can explain.

Jason: Can you?

Leo: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

-

Leo: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Frank: What did you do Leo?

Leo: A MISTAKE

Frank: YOU CAN CONTROL FIRE-

-

Hazel, while making a plan: I was thinking I'd do some magic-

Leo, instantly: You? Magic? Hazel, it says talent show.

-

Jason: Reyna! Reyna! Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Reyna, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Jason:

Jason: fsh

-

Annabeth: This is such a bad idea.

Percy: Then why are you coming along?

Annabeth: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

-

Leo after the ‘saving Nico’ scene: Top 30 reasons why Leo is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Hazel: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

-

Piper: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional�� wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Leo’s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

-

Grover: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Percy: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am smart!

Annabeth: In that case, we're definitely lost.

-

Leo, feral: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Jason: Leo no.

Piper: Mistlefoe!

Jason: Please stop encouraging him.

-

Nico: Hey, Frank? Can I get some dating advice?

Frank: Just because I’m with Hazel doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

-

Leo: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Annabeth does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Jason: If Annabeth were to jump off a cliff, she would’ve done her due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Annabeth jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Leo: You jump off a cliff!

Jason: Gladly. Provided Annabeth did first.

Annabeth: Last time I jumped off a cliff I fell into Tartarus so maybe don’t-

-

Reyna: You have to apologize to Will

Nico: Fine.

Nico: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

-

Piper: We need a distraction.

Jason: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Leo, whispering: My time has come

-

Percy, driving Leo and Piper: So how was your day?

Leo: We almost got surprise adopted!

Percy: What?

Piper: We almost got kidnapped.

Percy: Oh, okay.

Percy: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

-

*The 7 is having dinner together*

Jason: Leo, can you pass the salt?

Leo: *Throws Nico across the table*

-

'Can I copy the homework?'

Frank and Hazel: I can help you with it!

Jason: Yeah, sure.

Piper: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Percy, stepson of the teacher: lol nope.

Leo: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Nico: *Read 5:55pm*

-

Leo: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Annabeth: Okay, but what is updog?

Hazel: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Frank: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Piper: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Percy: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Jason: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Nico: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Leo: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Annabeth: What’s a henway??

Leo: Oh, about five pounds.

-

Gaea: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!

Percy: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.

Jason: More or less, I guess...

Hazel: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!

Frank: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.

Leo: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

-

Percy: Croissants: dropped

Frank: Road: works ahead

Piper: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Jason: Shavacado: fre

Leo: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Hazel:

Hazel, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

-

Percy, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Nico: Hey.

Frank: Hi.

Hazel: Hello.

Piper: Hey!

Percy: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Leo: We were out of Doritos.

-

Piper: Time for plan G.

Annabeth: Don’t you mean plan B?

Piper: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Jason: What about plan D?

Piper: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Hazel: What about plan E?

Piper: I’m hoping not to use it. Leo dies again in plan E.

Nico: I like plan E.

-

Jason: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Percy: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Piper: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Annabeth: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Hazel: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Leo:

Leo: I have emotional scars.

-

Nico: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Annabeth: >:O language

Frank: Yeah watch your fucking language

Jason: OKAY WHO TAUGHT FRANK THE FUCK WORD?

Leo: 'The fuck word'.

Hazel: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Percy: Oh my god they censored it

Leo: Say fuck, Hazel.

Piper: Do it, Hazel. Say fuck.

-

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Percy: Thanks fam!

Piper: oh no

Frank: *cries* I love you too

Leo: Sounds fake but okay

Hazel: *A flustered mess*

Annabeth: can i get a refund

-

Percy: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Nico: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Percy: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Annabeth: Actually I did the math, Nico would have $225, not $0.15.

Nico: Fam I’m right here....

Piper: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Hazel: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Piper: Sorry I only have a dollar

Leo: :(

Jason: Hey I just realized Leo is right, Nico would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Hazel: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Jason: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Piper: Yeah and she wants soda and apply juice

Frank: Apply juice to what

Leo: Directly to the forehead

Annabeth: Great chat everyone

[darkfinch]

So I stumbled onto your Worst au, aka the undercover eliot au and now all I can think is how Monroe Knows the team. Specifically, Hardison. Hardison who pulls off not-so minor miracles on the daily and is fundamentally Soft. Someone Monroe could Break. And pilot Parker is too feral to control but season 3 Parker isn’t. He knows he's losing Eliot, two birds one stone. So he tells Eliot he wants to meet Hardison. And for Eliot to decide to bring Parker or leave her. And Eliot Knows what it means.

I imagine Monroe wanting to Have Hardison (and Parker) would snap Eliot right out of the last of his Monroe-loyalty because. It's Hardison. And Parker. They're Good. They're People. (it also might shock eliot into realizing how toxic Monroe is in that a member of the team dying is an acceptable risk (never Acceptable, never Okay, but acceptable Risk) but under Monroe's Control just full stop is Not. Not a risk Eliot's ever taking with any of them) Sorry for chucking an emotional bomb at you

1) i have 2 commend you for referring to criminal financier and overall demon damien moreau exclusively as "monroe" here, idk if it lessened or increased the psychic damage but if definitely added something to the experience of perceiving this ask

2) YEAH

i think you might be right about it kind of shocking eliot out of his internal justifications of moreau's whole Situation by making him apply it to someone who isn't himself? like, uh oh, it's completely fine and normal until put into the context of Happens To Hardison and suddenly its Deeply Fucked Up And Not Allowed

moreau treats me well-> if the team has to die for him, that's fine-> if he wants to meet the team, that's fine-> if he wants to keep some of them, then that absolutely cannot happen, because he'll treat them like he treats me and what happened to me will happen to them-> ???-> but if moreau treats me well—

(i am imagining eliot in his moreau-funded-and-decorated apartment lying on his zillion thread-count sheets and staring blankly at the ceiling like...okay so why would hardison being under moreau's thumb be worse than him dying. why would parker being me be worse than if she Died. hang on a second)

like. uh oh. he is going in circles and it is not lining up but he can't quite close the gap there? eliot's made peace with the fact that moreau might kill them, eliot's mostly made peace with the fact that moreau might ask him to kill them, moreau casually expresses interest in Acquiring hardison and eliot's like....im terrified.... because..........im panicking BECAUSE.............!!!! fuck. and it clicks. and then he has to figure out how he's going to stop that from happening. hhhhh

(though i can also see him doing the mental backflip strategy of "well it'd be terrible if this happened to Them, because they're People, but it's fine if it's me because i'm [ominous mental blank spot] and damien's never done anything he hasn't been able to Justify later")

but YEAH of the four of them, i Do think hardison would be the one moreau (and eliot) would focus in on as a potential asset, because like. sophie's unpredictable, nate's more someone to keep tabs on and keep out of the way, parker's isolated but too independent, but hardison!! hardison's young and could be receptive to moreau's whole "we're friends and as long as you do what needs to be done we're fine" act. and would Also be easily intimidated/kept in line. and is ALSO Extremely Useful

and. hm. and especially if eliot's already built up trust and a relationship with hardison by the time moreau starts suspecting that eliot might be slipping, that could be like...1) eliot works as a bridge between moreau and alec and can help Acquire alec, because alec trusts him and/or gives him the benefit of the doubt and 2) telling eliot that he can keep one of his cute little crime friends might keep eliot focused and closer to home :) with the added benefit of alec being an excellent tool for keeping eliot in line :)

its a great strategy! it's win-win! hardison's a fantastic potential addition to the moreau empire and eliot should absolutely bring him by the hotel for a surprise meeting! meanwhile eliot's just screaming into his pillow in 20 minute bursts every single night,

[wtchwtch]

TT012_Transcript

TT012: I'm Sorry

This is a fanmade transcript, please let me know if you see any errors.

TT012

(Intro music)

(Tape recorder sounds)

Cole: It is, uh, 4:00 AM right now.

Uh, Mark is... i, I don't know where Mark is and, um, I'm sorry.

Uh, D is, With Jesse's, uh, parents or maybe the cops? I, I don't know. I, I don't know what happened.

All I know is, oh God, what am I even saying? Uh, alright. Okay, so, um, Yesterday, uh, Jess and I were supposed to, um, meet and interview, um, uh, Dr. Lance Ruttland together, but she, she didn't show. I thought she'd just forgotten. Um, but then she wouldn't answer D's calls. And, uh, when D went to her house, uh, her parents thought she'd been with D.

It's now been 36 hours since anyone has, oh God, since anyone last saw Jess. I came out to the shed, um, I, I couldn't sleep and I, uh, I found another tape.

Another cassette, uh, recorded and left for well, left for me. I, I don't wanna post this. I'm sorry to anyone listening, but I have to. I, I have to. Otherwise... otherwise, I don't know what will happen.

(Tape recorder sounds)

Jesse: Dearest new friends of the Tiny Terrors podcast, let me welcome you to the underbelly of the Exchange. The exchange has been the subject of my discerning ear for decades now. And as it approaches its twilight, you breathe new life into it. I have been put in charge of watching the exchange and waiting for its second coming.

I am not the first. There were others who watched for its rebirth before me. Do you know the history of the exchange? Do you know what secrets lie within the many stories of the exchange? I see you have brought new blood into the exchange. Fresh, young blood. Why have you given the exchange new blood? I wonder if you know.

I will find out.

Why did you feed the beast?

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Now you cannot stop. You think you can, but you won't. The mysteries are too delicious. The mysteries are too many not to be found. You must continue and you must not stop. You are a feral dog and must be taught to heel, and so I have sent my dog to teach you this lesson.

Who am I? I am the Listener. I am the master. I am the hand that will teach you to heal. I have been in control of the exchange for the better part of two decades now. Those who came before gave it to me. You are not the first to bring fresh blood, young blood to the exchange. Others before you have as well. I told them not to.

Some have listened, some have not.

You have not listened and now I listen because you do not. I listen to your podcast many times a day. It lets me track you. I can listen to you and know you. I hear you. And by your voice I can see you. The exchange is my life, my obsession, and now you are too Terrorizers. You have given the exchange fresh blood, but it is my job to watch and listen and wait for the day when the fresh young blood will be mine.

Do you want to know who I am? Do you want to know why I must teach you to heel? Do you want to know what you feed?

I will tell you. I will tell you if you listen. Will you be a good boy and listen now, Cole? Will you listen now that I have taken one of your Terrorizers? Will her blood be the first I take or will you listen?

Enter this into the exchange. Show your listeners who you are, show your fans what they do when they breathe new life into the exchange. They give me new life, which I may take for my own. And now we are past the point where you might have turned it around. Now they carry the burden too.

I crave young blood. Fresh blood. I want it. It has been so long since I have let my dog loose. He is frothing at the mouth. His eyes are not too human. They are not human. They are less than human. He is my pet and will do as I ask. So you must do as I ask... or he will hunt you.

Post this to the exchange. Make many copies, submit them. Post this to your podcast. When you heel and do as you are asked, I will begin to show you the many delicious secrets hidden in the exchange.

Because you have come so far, I will give you this one chance you may not stop now. Now you must obey me.

The exchange, and you, and they, the Terrorizers, listeners of your podcast, are now my obsession. Do as I ask and I will return the fresh blood I have taken.

(Tape recorder sounds)

Cole: D's heard the tape and so has Mark, and now you've heard it. I don't really know what else to say at this point. I just, I just feel like this is, I just feel like this is all my fault.

(Tape recorder sounds)

Mark: Tiny Terrors is an anthology horror podcast produced by Pulp Audio and licensed under a creative commons attribution, non-commercial sharealike 4.0 international license.

D: This episode was directed by Cole Weavers with sound production and editing by Mike LeBeau.

Mark: To find additional information or to join our Patreon for additional content and ad free episodes, visit our website, www.tinyterrorspod.com.

D: Follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at Tiny Terrors Pod,

Mark: Or join the Pulp Audio discord by clicking the link in the description below.

D: Rate and review us on Spotify and Apple.

Mark: And finally, thanks for listening.

[mego42]

Hi, since you seem more positive/excited about the triangle possibility than a fair amount of people, can you talk more about why? I fall into "the not thrilled about the possibility, but have a little hope it could result in some good moments" group and would love some more reasons to not dread it. Thanks! And love your writing and love reading your tags :)

hey anon!! i am v sorry you are not thrilled and am always happy to shriek nonsense about why i’m excited (though idk how much it will help bc the tl;dr is more or less i’m hype for a triangle bc i am an incredibly messy bench who lives for drama and if you are not a similarly messy bench, ymmv)

don’t get me wrong, i super understand the trepidation, pop culture is LITTERED with absolute shite examples of love triangles but here is an incomplete list of reasons i personally think beth and rio are the perfect kind of disaster to set up a spectacular love triangle:

the existence of a triangle implies there are FEELINGS at the various points

the use of the descriptor "romantic" applied to said triangle implies ROMANTIC feelings

i am a simple woman and my pulse has already picked up

one of my absolute most favorite things about the toxic stew that is beth and rio is how completely balls to the wall obsessed they are with having and holding each other’s attention and focus

like straight up possessive nightmare people

now imagine wedging an actual rival for one or the other’s attention between the two of them

(something we have not reeeeeally seen before, 206 withstanding and i’ll come back to that, bc lbr beth doesn’t give a fck about dean and rio’s known that for sure ever since he walked LITERALLY RIGHT PAST THE GUY to rail his wife in a public bathroom at her invitation)

(the 204 proximity point has nothing to do with this list it’s just a source of endless delight and that was enough for me to justify adding it)

where was i

mmmmm feelings, possessive nightmares, OH RIGHT

they are also nightmares in the sense that it appears to be physically impossible for them to use their words with each other unless it’s like, ripped out of them which means they’re sitting on ALL THE BAGGAGE between them and it’s just stewing and boiling and

wait, let me back up

look, i want brio sex as bad as the next person

but even more than brio sex? i want them to fight

i mean like, Fight fight

i want the kind of knockdown drag-out brawl that brings Stuff to the surface and leaves them with a bunch of nasty, ragged, pieces dragged out into the light bc lbr they’ve both done some incredibly awful things to each other

(kind of like what 213 was looking like before it all went to shit tbh)

(i’m just saying, beth saying you put it all on me with that kind of jagged, disbelieving betrayal behind it? my catnip)

(it’s up there with rio at the picnic table in 306 telling her that ship sailed when she put three slugs in him)

i live for them being raw and honest and emotional okay

IF ONLY THEY COULD BOTH DO IT AT THE SAME TIME

bc here’s the thing, for the magnitude of horrifying shit between the two of them? i (personally) think that they like it because they are so! twisted! when it comes to each other and i love that for me, specifically

like no seriously a huge part of what i love about the ship is that whole i see your monster and it looks like mine thing they’ve got going on when they let themselves and i am full on foaming at the mouth feral at the thought of them leaning into that

i’m sorry i’ve lost the thread again

wait no that was the thread

okay so basically they’re both ticking time bombs of smothered angst and rage who are absolutely incapable of being normal about each other but are also keeping all of that locked tf down and the only time we ever really see it come out is when one o them is too emotionally overwhelmed to keep their iron grip

you know what brings emotions to the surface?

TRIANGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SEETHING MESS OF EMOTION THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BRING TO THE SURFACE??????

AND HOW UTTERLY UNEQUIPPED EITHER ONE OF THEM WOULD BE TO DEAL WITH ANY OF IT????????

AND HOW SIDEWAYS IT COULD EXPLODE???????????

like don’t get me wrong there is absolutely no way it’s gonna be pretty but i didn’t get on this busted ass carnival ride expecting nice things, i am in this to feEl stuFf and nothing makes me feel stuff more than seeing the two of them feel stuff and this is  perfect set up for that

you know how they say the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference?

you know what’s not indifference? big messy emotions

but okay okay okay i am icarus and the sun looms large, lets say they don’t fight, that doesn’t mean they’re not gonna feEl stuFf on their own

do you remember beth’s face in the van when rio hugged dylan??? do you?????

and what did she do after that? went out and robbed him blind and held his shit hostage until he caved in what is one of my top 10 of all of their scenes

and god, idk if we’ve really seen rio really get jealous of attention lavished on beth yet but when i think about it i want it so bad my teeth hurt

and i know i’m not alone here bc i have i think 3 jealous!rio prompts in my inbox rn

(i’m not saying i’m working on it but i’m also not not saying it)

god i just

can you imagine how much fun it could be to watch rio seethe over having to watch someone else be into beth

WHAT WOULD HE DO?????????

ESP IF HE COULDNT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT DIRECTLY BC ITS SOMEONE HE CAN’T INTERFERE WITH

oh christ and if beth responded to it??????????

oh gOD thE mESS

idk even if it doesn’t lead to a confrontation (but i feel like??? it would have to????) just the idea of the kinds of feelings they’d have to grapple with and confront within themselves is D E L I C I O U S

also, to jump back to an earlier point: brio sex

i know some people are feeling like the sexy chemistry between beth and rio is lacking this season

you know what’s great for chemistry? fuel

you know what provides great fuel? messy emotional situations that tug at intimate connections and make people feel out of control

you know what’s a messy emotional situation that tugs at intimate connections and make people feel out of control? 

you probably guessed it

A TRIANGLE

(and we know that neither of them does well with feeling out of control period at all even without the intimate emotional stuff mixed in so like oh boy)

listen i am just saying given where they’re currently at with each other i cannot think of any situation more ripe for an explosive hook up than one or both of them feeling driven to reassert their claim/mark on the other 

would it be nice? no, probably not

would i care? not even a little bit

(don’t you judge like any of y’all are any better than me)

look. to quote marie kondo horrifically out of context: i love mess and the mess potential in a romantic love triangle with beth and rio as two of the three points is stratospherically high.

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist ���

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me ����✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,916 Words

Summary: Day 1 and 2 of UA. The Battle Trials and the UA press break-in happen.

Warnings: Fighting Mention, Screaming Mention, Injury Mention, Food Mention, Anxiety Mention, Anxiety Attack Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Notes: Shinsou's trial hero costume is a black jumpsuit like Todoroki's second hero costume but with lots of body armor and a bulletproof bodysuit underneath, because he's still training and has never physically trained himself in hazardous situations before. He also has a lot of weapons on his outfit and a capture scarf like Aizawa's and his Artificial Vocal Cords.

Usernames: Existence Is A Prison  Aizawa: feral cat dad, Aoyama: gay salt, Hagakure: ranch flavored jello, Tokoyami: foil-mecha, Shinsou: farmer toshi, Kuroiro: life is a nightmare, Shiozaki: saviour, Tsunotori: schrodinger better run, Honenuki: pure, Monoma: nat20

Aizawa, We Agreed No More Cats: Chapter 2

2:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: My new outfit is amazing. I'm so happy, Mr. Aizawa, thank you.

Aizawa: No problem. How is training going?

Hagakure: Hey, by chance, what did you tell Midoriya?

Aizawa: I told Midoriya to think of his quirk as an extension of himself and, think of it as a water hose. Just because you have the hose doesn't mean you need it on full blast all the time. He's going to attempt using just percentages of his quirk if he can.

Aizawa: I also told him how to call the match off in case he couldn't use his quirk or if he has panic attack. AllMight should know what he means.

Aizawa: Why, what's happening?

Hagakure: Well, you see, the teams that are currently competing are Midoriya and Uraraka against Iida and Bakugou.

Aizawa: And? Is Bakugou threatening him or something. God, that kid needs therapy.

Hagakure: Actually, no. Bakugou started screaming at Midoriya and stuff. And then Midoriya just snapped and tackled Bakugou onto the ground and has been punching him for the last solid two minutes or so. Pretty sure Midoriya's screaming at him. Something about not needing a quirk to beat him.

Aizawa: Oh wow. I can't say I'm surprised but, jeez, Midoriya.

Hagakure: Oh, looks like Bakugou's been knocked out. Midoriya got him in the capture tape.

Aizawa: I can't say I'm not proud but you can't tell that to Bakugou.

Hagakure: Iida and Uraraka had a big fight for the weapon but Uraraka got Iida to run into a wall and knock himself out! Ooh, looks like I go next. Wish me luck, guys!

Aizawa: Good luck.

2:05 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Aoyama has started a video chat

What are you doing, Aoyama? -Aizawa

Is that Mr. Aizawa? -Unknown

It is, Ashido! I thought he'd like to see Hagakure training. -Aoyama

Why do you have Mr. Aizawa's number, Aoyama? -Unknown

Mr. Aizawa needs to stay in contact with us who live in the dorms so he's in a group chat with us dorm kids. - Aoyama

Aoyama, what's happening on the screen? -Aizawa

[Aoyama shows the screen, which displays Hagakure talking to her partner, Ojiro, before Todoroki and Shoji are allowed into the building. Hagakure suddenly disappears into thin air and Ojiro keeps talking as the entire building is suddenly encased in ice.]

I think they just lost. They're both trapped by the ice. -Aizawa

Wait, look! -Unknown

[the screen shows Todoroki getting restrained by capture tape as Toru becomes semi-visible again and he's officially out of the match.]

That's my girl! -Aizawa

Go, Hagakure! -Tokoyami

[the screen shows Hagakure as she disappears again and Shoji is suddenly captured as he re-enters the building]

Team I is the winner! -Unknown

This is the proudest I've been my whole life. -Aizawa

[Todoroki is thawing the building and Ojiro's feet as Hagakure is smiling and talking to Shoji, while Ojiro comes to make sure she's okay and didn't get hurt]

Aoyama has ended the video chat

Aoyama: Sorry, my phone's about to die. I didn't charge it last night, mon dieu.

Aizawa: You're fine, Aoyama. I'm sure Hagakure will keep me updated when she gets back to her phone.

Hagakure: Next is Tokoyami and Tsu vs Kirishima and Sero.

Aizawa: I'm sure the fight is even. How did you avoid getting frozen to the ground?

Hagakure: My boots sure got frozen but I got myself out of them before my legs got frozen into them.

2:20 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: Kirishima and Sero won. Sero tied Tsu and Tokoyami up. while Kirishima went through like a bulldozer for the fake bomb.

2:35 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: Can you expel Mineta for being a pervert?

Aizawa: Believe me, I wish I could expel students just for being pervs but, alas, I cannot because that's apparently baseless accusations against his character.

Tokoyami: Can I punch him?

Aizawa: Stop trying to get in trouble, this is the first day of school, kids.

Tokoyami: Fine. But if he pulls something drastic, I'm punching him.

Aizawa: As long as you tell someone to alert a teacher as well.

Hagakure: By the way, Yaoyorozu and Mineta vs Kaminari and Jirou was a tie because Kaminari ended up electrocuting everyone and knocking out everyone in the building while he was trying to get through the barricade Yaoyorozu made.

Aizawa: Of course he did.

2:50 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Hagakure: And Aoyama and Ashido won by surprise attacking Sato and Koda while they were having a miscommunication.

Aizawa: I've never been more proud of my three new children.

Hagakure; Oh god, he's adopting us.

Aizawa: I resent that.

Hagakure: Liar, you like having us around.

Aizawa: I resent that and these claims are unfounded.

Hagakure: I won't stop you if you try to adopt me.

Aizawa: No comment.

4:15 PM

Existence Is A Prison

Shinsou has changed Aizawa's name to feral cat dad

Shinsou has changed Aoyama's name to gay salt

Shinsou has changed Hagakure's name to ranch flavored jello

Shinsou has changed Tokoyami's name to foil-mecha

Shinsou has changed Kuroiro's name to life is a nightmare

Shinsou has changed Shiozaki's name to saviour

Shinsou has changed Tsunotori's name to schrodinger better run

Shinsou has changed Honenuki's name to pure

Shinsou has changed Monoma's name to nat20

feral cat dad: Could you not think of one for yourself, Shinsou?

Shinsou: Yeahhhhh brain no work anymore.

feral cat dad has changed Shinsou's name to farmer toshi

farmer toshi: Why?

feral cat dad: Because everyone knows you have an indoor garden in your dorm room but we don't want to tell you that you can't decorate how you want.

farmer toshi: Fair enough.

8:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

pure: I made dinner for those still training. Dinner is veggie based bao buns with optional glazed pork belly. Cooked separately for our non-meat-eating roomies. Kageya helped me.

feral cat dad: We're wrapping up and coming back. It'll be around five minutes until we're there.

life is a nightmare: y'all better. Kiyomi worked hard on dinner.

ranch flavored jello: I can't wait.

feral cat dad: @gay salt @ranch flavored jello @foil-mecha Shinsou will be joining our training on Wednesday morning. I'd like to train him with rescue in a controlled environment.

gay salt: Sounds like a plan. I'd love to train with Shinsou.

ranch flavored jello: Welcome to 1-A unofficially, Shinsou!

foil-mecha: Glad to have you with us, Shinsou.

farmer toshi: I'll cry, shut up, all four of you.

feral cat dad: Bold of you to assume that we wouldn't hug you if you cried.

farmer toshi: stop mKing me cry, I cantsee my scren

gay salt: puppy pile on Hitoshi when you all come back.

ranch flavored jello: Already on it.

foil-mecha: I am hugging him as well and so Mr. Aizawa.

gay salt: Doesn't mean moi doesn't want to hug him.

12:14 AM

Exisence Is A Prison

farmer toshi: Hey, Mr. Aizawa, do you think I could be a hero?

feral cat dad: I'll grab a comfort cat and come over. Hold on.

farmer toshi: Yes, please, but do you?

feral cat dad: I think you'll be a hero. Honestly, I've hated that entrance exam since I was in it. I was a lot like you and I hope that you'll be a lot like me and be able to transfer up to Class 1-A.

farmer toshi: Thank you. I think I can sleep now.

feral cat dad: I'm still coming over because you still sound like you're crying.

farmer toshi: I'm happy this time.

feral cat dad: God, where are adoption papers when you need them?

2:35 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: Has anyone seen Shinsou? He's been missing since the press got in.

nat20: I asked my class and Tetsutetsu said he saw someone with purple hair running to hide in a staff room near the cafeteria but he wasn't able to go check on them because the crowd forced him away from the cafeteria.

feral cat dad: Good, Hagakure, you're secretly in charge of 1-A, I'll be back once I get him.

3:30 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: I've found our boy. He's okay. He was hiding in a janitor closet having an anxiety attack.

farmer toshi: All the panic and loud noises made me think I was back with the orphanage and the caretaker was going to force me into a muzzle again, sorry if I scared anyone.

feral cat dad: I'm putting in for legal guardianship for you tonight, problem child.

farmer toshi: I'd be glad to call you my father.

8:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: So turns out that UA having your custody makes my fatherhood of you a twelve hour process, Hitoshi. If I put it in now, you'd be legally mine come tomorrow morning at 8.

farmer toshi: I want to keep my surname though, because I want people to judge me based on my abilities, not yours.

feral cat dad: Fair enough.

gay salt: I support one trashy gremlin man and his tired cryptid son.

8:00 AM

Existence Is A Prison

feral cat dad: It's official, I now own one gay son and the process for one lesbian daughter gets finalized in another 12 hours.

foil-mecha: Hitoshi, we're all very happy for you. Mr. Aizawa, we love your child-hoarding tendencies.

feral cat dad: This one's getting it.

life is a nightmare: Oh god, we're all part of his horde of children.

feral cat dad: Good, good, you've all acknowledged it finally.

nat20: I've had this new father for three days but, if anything happened to him, I'd kill whoever did it so slow and painful that their ancestors would start weeping in agony.

feral cat dad: Very much appreciated, thanks, but no murder or torture.

2:00 PM

Existence Is A Prison

foil-mecha: My outfit? Remarkable. Me changing into it? Absolutely not.

feral cat dad: Tokoyami, you can change in the classroom again today, I'll block the door again.

foil-mecha: Thank you.

feral cat dad: Aoyama, do you feel comfortable changing in the boy room, girls room, or the classroom for changing.

gay salt: I changed in the girl's lockers after they let me explain. We're mint on this end, Dad.

feral cat dad: Okay, good.

farmer toshi: My trial hero outfit is amazing, Dad, thank you.

2:10 PM

Existence Is A Prison

ranch flavored jello: I'm torn between laughing and crying. Bakugou is so offended. Get em, Asui.

feral cat dad: I fully support Asui dragging Bakugou's already broken ego through the mud.

farmer toshi: Guess you could say his personality is explosive.

farmer toshi: His attitude is flashy.

farmer toshi: He's dynamite, if you will.

foil-mecha: Please stop, I'm getting a cramp in my stomach from trying not to laugh.

farmer toshi: He's lit, your honor.

gay salt: I hate you, you gremlin.

farmer toshi: His personality is quite booming.

farmer toshi: He's pretty emotionally eruptive.

farmer toshi: Big stinky boom boom boy got the big mad.

feral cat dad: Petition to refer to Bakugou as Stinky Boom Boom Boy. Any signatures for this petition?

gay salt: Signed.

ranch flavored jello: Take my signature and run with it.

foil-mecha: Signed.

farmer toshi: Hell yeah, sign me up.

feral cat dad: Alright, we're almost there. Look alive, Sunshines.

Taglist: @everythingisstardust 

[maldito-arbol]

Have you come up with what tarot cards the gem trio would be? If so I would love to hear 👀

Okay so sorry for the wait I had to just sit down and contemplate these but I’ve chosen a major arcana and minor arcana card that best represents each gem because AGH I CANT LIMIT MYSELF. SO

Heart

Major: The Devil

This one was very on the nose, I don’t see how I could have picked anything else. But the themes of addiction/unhealthy attachments/obsessions within The Devil card are just perfect for them. I also just. omg. The imagery of being chained down by this devil makes me go feral. Heart has such an insatiable need to Possess it’d only make sense they’d be associated with chains and being trapped.

Minor: Four of Pentacles

This one is ALSO very on the nose, as it’s the greed card. It represents holding on tightly to one’s possessions which can be a positive thing in some cases but certainly not so for Heart. Heart embodies the darker side of it, the manic desire to take and own and control. This should already make sense to you now but it’s going to make even more sense when we talk about them a little deeper later on. Stay tuned ;)

Wit

Major: The Hanged Man

This is one of those introspective cards, one which requires waiting in patience for the right change in perspective. I associate it with stasis, and Wit is very much lying in wait, half by choice and half by chance but she is nevertheless waiting for her moment. She does grow weary of waiting, however, and her temper gets the best of her sometimes, but it is ultimately up to Marcy to offer this shift in perspective that can finally get the ball rolling with her.

Minor: Two of Swords

I cannot think of a card more fitting for Wit than the Making Decisions card. There’s a level of confusion and even anxiety about the decision at hand and how one is supposed to weigh the options carefully, and Wit embodies confusion. I particularly like the imagery of the blindfold on the card that encourages the trust in one’s own intuition, but in Wit’s case I think it more feels like blindly fumbling for answers. She has a severe case of trust issues going on, which makes it all the more difficult for her to make a confident choice.

Strength

Major: The Tower

i bet u thought i was gonna pick Strength for Strength. NOPE. I actually think The Tower is perfect for Strength with its Chaos and sudden upheaval. The whole premise of the tower is about a structure with a fragile foundation that is struck by lightning and collapses in its entirety while those in the tower leap out the windows into the unknown, unaware of what awaits them but forced to go nevertheless. It’s all about a sudden event shattering a piece of one’s life or oneself and forcing them to leave it behind, to adapt and rebuild. I can’t tell you why it fits Strength yet but omg. Omgomgomg. I’m losing my mind. I swear you guys teeter DANGEROUSLY close to spoiler territory every single day.

Minor: Seven of Wands

This card carries a great deal of competition, and I associate it with being on the defensive—this rush to guard one’s own territory or even justify one’s own opinions. Sometimes the entire world can be against you and the only ally you have is yourself. I. Cannot. Tell. You. Why. This. Fits. Strength. Either. I am so sorry LMAO

Anyway bc i love u here are all the other cards i was considering for the gems:

[literaphobe]

season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn’t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

[secret-engima]

....I lied. If you’re still doing the title thing - if I go down gonna burn with the sun

I thought there was a few more title asks still lurking in here for me to answer. *cracks knuckles* RAMBLE TIME.

-Star Wars AU. Star Wars FFXV sorta-x-over AU where the Astrals decide that Aera and Ardyn deserve a chance at happiness, just not on Eos, and therefore go YEET. The Force, finding these two wayward and powerful souls is like- Sure okay and boom. Ardyn and Aera are reborn in a galaxy far, far away.

-Purely not coincidentally, far away, on different worlds and in different star systems, one Satine Kryze and one Obi-Wan Kenobi take their first breaths.

-Yes I’m serious.

-This would be- SUCH a chaotic fixit AU, both because Aera loves peace but she is NO pacifist and not about to let an entire Culture DIE just because some so called New Mandalorians cannot see the dangers of burying their own past. Two because- well.

-Ardyn has already BEEN a Chosen One and an Accursed, a Hero and a Villain. He has walked the path to salvation and damnation both and seen the worst sides of himself and humanity, and for all they look different, every species in the galaxy isn’t far different from humanity in those regards.

-Obi-Wan Kenobi grows up in the Jedi Temple and he is a Troublesome Child. Too quiet and too reckless by turns, a smile that could melt butter and a tongue that can strip flesh from the backs of whatever bully goes after him this time. The Jedi ... worry. He is Dark, they whisper, was born with shreds of Darkness in his soul. He is manipulative, they worry, he has a temper, they gossip.

-Ardyn hears them all and inside a part of him screams. Because of course he is Dark, they did not have their souls swallowed by a plague for others’ sake, were not consumed with madness until dying (being freed) at the hands of a nephew two thousand years removed. As for manipulation ... he doesn’t mean to. It’s just ... he’s so much OLDER than the other children mentally, older even than any Jedi there (even YODA), he can’t help it that he thinks rings around people sometimes, or that he is so in tune with the Force (with a galaxy-spanning magic that burns beneath his skin like a hundred newborn suns that he keeps buried so the Jedi will not sense it so clearly, will not know how strong and old he really is inside) that he can practically read minds and knows what to say to get the best outcome. He has a temper. Who doesn’t? You try being reborn after a lifetime of AGONY and see how patient you are with petty morons and small minded bullies.

-He says none of those things, and when his time grows near to be sent away without a Master, he does not fight it.

-He looks at the shadow of Qui Gon Jinn in the doorway and something in the Force ... sings. Sad and soft. It speaks of heartache and betrayal and a fear of being hurt again. Ardyn can almost FEEL the two paths branching away under his feet, one with Qui Gon in it, and one without, and he does not know which one will bring him less pain.

-Ardyn does not try to impress anyone in the sparring ring, but after he is done, he slips away. He finds Jinn in the garden, trying to meditate, and settles down across from him without invitation.

-Qui Gon opens his eyes in annoyance. He knows that the Council wants him to take a Padawan, and that this one is almost at the age of being moved to the Corps. He expects the boy to beg to become a Padawan, or to try to impress him somehow.

-Instead the boy just smiles, thin and sharp and knowing in a way that makes Qui Gon feel ... exposed. Like every thought and wound in his heart is on display for this child, “The Council wants you to take a Padawan. That’s why they keep making you watch us.” It’s a statement, not a question.

-Qui Gon raises an eyebrow, “And you think I should take you?”

-The boy shrugs, but his blue eyes are still sharp as knives behind his friendly mien and Qui Gon doesn’t like the feeling crawling up his spine, “That’s your choice to make and yours alone. There’s nothing I can say to change your mind one way or the other.”

-“Then why are you here?” He asks suspiciously.

-“Because you’re lonely, and it makes the Force feel sad.” The answer is so blunt, so sure of itself. Qui Gon feels his stomach twist, and old anger makes him snappish without meaning to be (he’s heard of this boy as well, he’s heard that he’s got a manipulative streak and a tendency to twist his Force empathy to his own ends, he’s heard many things).

-(Qui Gon forgets that it is not a good idea, to base judgement on rumors) “I am not, and if I was, I would not need your company to ease it.”

-Obi-Wan Kenobi, Initiate of the Jedi Temple Ardyn Lucis Caelum, Sage and Healer King and Accursed, tilts his head thoughtfully, then nods and stands up, “Then I will take my leave. Take care of yourself, Master Jinn.”

-Initiate Kenobi Ardyn the Accursed and Healer King walks away, and a breath later the Living Force twists, like the snapping of cables, and Qui Gon gets the fleeting, distinct impression that he has failed some kind of very important test.

-Ardyn is assigned to the AgraCorps. A life as a farmer for others awaits him.

-The day before he’s to be shipped off, he walks out one of the Temple’s side-entrances and into the underbelly of Coruscant with only the clothes on his back. He doesn’t look back even once. It takes until the next day for anyone (for his friends, if he can call them friends when they are so much YOUNGER and painfully more innocent than him) to miss him. It takes another day for the Jedi to realize Obi-Wan Kenobi is well and truly missing.

-Deep in Coruscant’s seedy side, at the dockyards manned by those who are less than concerned with legality, a boy in ratty (stolen) clothes asks to be taken aboard as a maintenance worker. He calls himself Ardyn Izunia, and there are no Force Sensitives close enough to feel the sunlike fire burning in his blood as he smiles.

-Skip forward several years and Satine Kryze (Aera) is on the run from Death Watch, civil war is on the horizon and her father asks for Jedi protection to keep her safe.

-The bounty hunter who calls himself Adagium finds her first.

-A sword that glitters like blood and cuts through metal like a lightsaber (that hums-hums-hums with magic none but a Force sensitive can see blazing like bloody fire down the ancient blade) finishes off the Death Watch assassin that Satine hadn’t had the chance to shoot yet, and under his hood, Adagium smiles. Satine stills, head tilted as if listening, then she collapses into the teenage bounty hunter’s arms in joyous tears. Adagium- Ardyn- holds her close and cries with her.

- “I finally found you, My Aera,” he breathes and for a moment he lets his magic loose and it burns like the sun through the Force, lancing through the growing shadows in the Force like they’re fragile paper and somewhere far away Sidious feels Doom™ crawl violently up his spine.

-Aka that Fixit AU where Aera is a Mand’alor that DOES want peace for her people but NOT at the cost of burning history to the ground (or being defenseless, she has died to the sword once already she will not go quietly into the night a second time, not if she has to paint the walls in blood to protect her life and the lives of her people), the Jedi are Confused™, and Ardyn is incredibly content to be Aera’s former bounty hunter trophy husband with a tendency to adopt strays (read: Anakin and Shmi who he frees as well as Anakin kthanks, and quite possibly Savage and Feral too tho no one is quite sure how) until the Clone Wars start and Ardyn takes one (1) look at the war and goes: ah. I know this plan. This is a stupid plan. And all of Sidious’s plans go fwoosh.

-Because I’m sorry but there is no way you can convince me that Ardyn wouldn’t EAT SIDIOUS ALIVE in any kind of fight, mental, physical, Force, or tactical. This man is 2k years old. It took Sidious until he was an old sack of bones to get his Empire and that was with GENERATIONS of Sith serving as his foundation, and then he got yote down a reactor shaft by his minion 19-25 years later. Ardyn was able to manipulate an entire Empire into engineering its destruction and fulfill ALL HIS REVENGE GOALS (giving Bahamut a headache, driving the world to darkness and ruin, and ending the line of Lucis Caelum INCLUDING HIMSELF) in like- 30-40 years. While MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ILL thanks to the Scourge. Fully healthy and in control of himself and with people (Aera) to protect? Sidious would just be fresh meat.

-Also Ardyn adopts a bunch of the clones, possibly all the clones, on the excuse that since they were raised by Mandalorian trainers they count as Mandalorians and as genetic sons of Jango Fett that makes the Mandalorian CITIZENS by BIRTHRIGHT and the Republic can only watch in confusion as their army gets mass adopted by the Mand’alor’s trophy husband who also exposed their new Chancellor as a Sith. Bail Organa, the new Chancellor, may or may not be sweating quietly at the thought of accidentally gaining the ire of the so called Trophy Husband because he’s smarter than most and knows that Ardyn is Very Very Dangerous.

-Also also Qui Gon doesn’t die somehow because I do really like him and I think he’s a good Jedi, just not a good fit for Ardyn as a master.

[thorne-archive]

fic recs!!

posting this because my percynet friends were practically begging me to post this with the pjo hyperlinks haha also featuring ridiculous fangirling comments by yours truly

features fandoms: HP, ACOTAR, PJO, and FMA

features (mainly) ships: drastoria, scorose, elriel, percabeth, jasper, and royai

— harry potter (I’m currently in love with draco x astoria and scorpius x rose)

warmth by littlemissmadness (drastoria oneshot!!! it’s so cute!!! a lil heartbreaking at first but i just - ugh!!!)

amor quod fecimus by jillian bowes (some consecutive drastoria oneshots, very cute!!)

a long time coming by helloimsabrina (drastoria comfort fic :)

finding hope by insertcleverandwittytitlehere (cute drastoria oneshot)

the way you look tonight by you-make-me-wander

shouldn’t by reppad98

blood, war and a touch of love by controlled climb

the dragon and the star maiden by boogum

the kiss thief by boogum

of sunflowers and rainydays by rosescor90 (scorose oneshot!!!!!)

the feeling of vindication by howlsatthemoon

worst of a bad bunch by graeliars (teddy/victoire oneshot fic hehe)

a kiss with a fist by superspy (jily oneshot :)

the smart one by nikkira (scorose oneshot, in which scorpius and rose are lowkey academic rivals; this is pure fluff)

off limits by livetodream (the! cutest! scorose! oneshot!!!)

when you grow up by drcjsnider (scorpius pining after rose? I think y e s)

the unnecessarily racy by anaela loves who (humorous jily oneshot feat. a jealous lily)

— acotar (mostly elriel fanfics sorry lol)

lover by @julesherondalex on tumblr! (an elriel roommates au!! okay but the angst and pining here made me SOB like three times over, 10/10 recommend!)

all of me by julesherondalex (I just love this writing style and there’s so much fluff and pining I cant-)

home in hogwarts by julesherondalex (elriel at hogwarts!! what more could you want?)

enchanted by julesherondalex (elain’s pining for azriel in this is 100/100 omg)

flight mode love by julesherondalex (elriel!coffee shop au!!!)

love me tonight by julesherondalex (you best believe I cried reading this! another elriel fanfic set in the canonverse)

the scent of you by julesherondalex (elriel au, angst with a happy ending! this one also made me cry really hard)

a little piece of your heart by julesherondalex (elriel confession in azriel’s pov!!)

a secret admirer by @florrama on tumblr! (short au elriel fic, very heartwarming!)

a seasonal love by florrama (more elriel? I think yes!!)

a shadow’s kiss by florrama (a collection of elriel oneshots!! they! are! so! soft!!!)

perfect strangers by @rosehallshadowsinger (short and sweet elriel au)

gifts from the heart by rosehallshadowsinger (the pining!!! so cute :)

stars hold no power over us by stardustsroses (a little explicit but so very cute :’) I love the concept of elain choosing who she loves and not having a bond define it for her)

this collection of short elriel oneshots by @a-novel-blog (so well written and so soft!!! I love gentle!elriel)

‘cause by @noodlecatposts (best friends feysand au that made me smile :’)

gingersnap! by noodlecatposts (this is so cute! and so soft! in which azriel is allergic to cats, and elain has one)

stay by noodlecatposts (I am. such. a sucker for best friends to lovers fics. the pining in this made me wanna cry I love this)

bite me, asshole by accidental_optimism (nessian oneshot! mostly revolves around cassian taking care of a sick nesta)

distractions by @rhysanoodle (a super cute and fluffy elriel coffee shop au!!)

is that my shirt? by rhysanoodle (a cute elriel oneshot that had me screeching!!)

perfectly aligned by rhysanoodle (over 200k word fic about elriel falling in love, includes smut)

dreams answered by @radientwings (a collection of oneshots, the elriel ones made me sob with joy)

songs of shadow by radientwings (a collection of elriel stories...the writing style is so perfect and I love it)

to flower by literarynonsensefics (short and sweet elriel oneshot hehe)

sharing sunsets by librarian of velaris (elriel & sunsets & fluff :)

navy suits & chelsea boots by feathery_malignancy (fair warning, the latter 2 chapters have smut but y’all...the pining in this? unmatched!!!)

call out my name by myownremedy (azriel pining for elain!!! so cute :’) but also pls be aware that the last like 1/3 of this fic is like. smut. but with like fluff mixed in lol)

long shot by myownremedy (listen. I will never tire of elriel coffee aus)

cake & kisses by @mehlisssa (in which elriel is expecting and display pure domestic fluff tHIS IS THE CUTEST ONESHOT EVER)

bloom by swishandflickwit (elriel fluff which is SO CUTE and also followed by smut, but at least it’s not too explicit)

— percy jackson

a storm in my best dress by herecomesthepun (percabeth soulmate au? say less! oh but also it’s lowkey enemies to friends and also a high school au! also jasper is the stable relationship 10/10 love that for them!! very long, very good :)

kiss me once 'cause you know i had a long night by herecomesthepun (GUYS THIS IS SO GOOD I ACTUALLY CACKLED LMAOOO the dialogue is *chefskiss* and jason fawning over piper is also *chefskiss* also this is an office percabeth/jasper oneshot, absolutely amazing)

‘cause you’ve been sinning in this city by @seaweedbraens (percabeth soulmate au in which percy calls everyone by some vaguely related nickname lol)

don’t you let it go by seaweedbraens (percabeth rebirth au with a twist; I SOBBED SO MUCH THIS WAS SO GOOD IM STILL CRYING)

if I were to pluck on your heartstrings by seaweedbraens (percabeth soulmate au with moodstrings!!)

would you strum on mine by seaweedbraens (companion piece to the fic above!!!)

and they were roommates by @bipercabeth (look. I’m a sucker for roommate aus)

I’ll go anywhere with you by bipercabeth (THIS IS SO FREAKING SOFT I COULD CRY OKAY??? ACTUALLY I AM CRYING!!! road trippin percabeth babey!!)

just because i had “spider” sense doesn’t mean i had common sense by bipercabeth (jasper spiderman au, ITS SO SOFT AND I WENT FERAL AT THIS LINE “She inhales, and Jason swears she takes the breath from his lungs. He’d give it to her, if she asked” PLS READ IT ITS SO GOOD IM SOBBING)

I like me better when I’m with you by @cressisaqueen (a tatbilb jasper au!!!!)

my yesterday was blue, today I’m a part of you by pastypirate (a series on how the HOO couples meet as soulmates hehe)

greek dramas and other spectacles by annabetncnase (a percabeth friends to lovers college au!!!)

california howl by suneater (I haven’t read this yet but it features werewolf!jason ans jasper content hehe)

if it’s you and me forever by lesbabeths (piper centric jasper soulmate au set in the canonverse that had me ugly sobbing at 4 am)

dream-like christmas time by @perseannabeth (annabeth gets famous and percy gets left behind, oneshot au)

number one by perseannabeth (percabeth roommate friends to lovers oneshot hehe)

back to the beginning by perseannabeth (percabeth proposal with ties back to the original series!! I loved it 🥺)

everythin' is icy and blue and you are here there too under the mistletoe by perseannabeth (a percabeth fake dating au!! I’ve yet to read it but Marianna is such an amazing writer I have no doubt I’ll love it!!)

sugar, sugar by perseannabeth (another tbr by Marianna on my list haha but the concept of percabeth and jasper meeting over chocolate is just :’)

— fullmetal alchemist (I’ve literally never watched this, but I somehow got obsessed with royai so Uh)

make me better by @lantur (bruh the yearning...I cannot, also beware this contains smut but it’s non graphic, but this fic is centered around roy being blind and riza helping him :)

side to side by lantur (in which royai practices hand to hand combat...the thirst and angst is real damn)

a little bit scandalous by lantur (I cried reading this...yeah)

got your back by lantur (roy’s yearning...I’m gonna cry)

love the way you shine in the night, like the diamond you are by lantur (it starts out funny...and then my heart broke lol)

if you were mine by lantur (so much angst...but take heart! there’s a fluffy ending in sight!)

learning as we go by megthemighty (high school teacher au!! fluffy!!)

are you asleep? by fullmetalscully (fma as a romcom? yes! I cackled while reading this LOL)

royai collections by fullmetalscully (royai oneshots, there’s a mix of angst and fluff. but mostly angst ;-;)

smoke and gunpowder by @eskalations (royai genderbend au!)

some things last a long time by akingdomofunicorns (royai coffee shop au)

against the run of play by bergamots (in which roy is a rugby player and riza is a neurotrauma specialist, I love how this fic includes tweets and articles!!)

you pull me through time by @ohmytheon (100 royai oneshots, so cute!!)

lessons in formality by @royai (royai valentine’s au!! iTS SO SOFT IM SCREAMING)

don’t let your students trick you into an equivalent exchange (a royai teacher au oneshot! say less!!!)

missed opportunities by ohmytheon (royai christmas mistletoe oneshot!!!!)

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Exclusive wanna-be-bad incorrect quotes!

The squad is trying to con some random guy Immy: Um, Felix, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family? Felix: We need money! Immy: You're scamming him? Felix: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him? Immy: What?! No way! Felix: Why not? We already stole Harland! Harland: Hey guys Immy: No, we didn't. Harland can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want! Harland: I wanna steal

Immy: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Felix: I'm a knife. Harland, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

(They do nap together, so in a non ship way yes this works--)

Immy: Hey Felix, Felix: Yes? Immy: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Felix: Felix: Where’s Harland?

(They can’t, Harland knows that. It’s why he did it.)

Immy: Felix, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Felix: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Immy: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Harland.

(This is really accidentally wholesome...)

Immy: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Felix: The car takes a screenshot. Harland: For the last time, get the fuck out.

(Okay, this is something that would happen when they’re teens for sure.)

Immy: Tell Felix about the birds and the bees. Harland: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

(*deep sigh* ... The worst part is that he would do this. So quickly.)

Immy: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited Felix: If? Harland: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and they might not even die.

(Harland big sad, Immy being chaotic as always, and Felix being mildly concerned.)

Immy, to Felix: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Felix, motioning to themself and Harland: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

(Literally any life and death situation.)

Immy: Don't worry, I got a plan. Felix: Alright. Immy: TraitorSayWhat? Harland: Excuse me? Immy: What? Felix: Immy: Immy: No wait-

(Immy hit herself in her confusion.)

Immy: Harland, my old arch enemy. Felix: ... I thought I was your arch enemy? Immy: I have a life outside of you, Felix.

(Everyone has been Immy’s enemy at one point. She is five.)

Immy: HELP! I TOLD HARLAND I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Felix, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

(They’re trying to be nice but are both inept.)

Immy: If you had to choose between Felix and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Harland: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Felix: Harland! Immy: 63 cents. Harland: I'll take the money. Felix: HARLAND!!!

(Harland: I am legally obligated to be a prick to you, sorry bestie.)

Immy, texting Felix: Felix! Help I’m being kidnapped Harland: Where are you? Immy: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Felix: I’ll call Harland. Harland, answering their cell: Y’ello? Felix: Where’s Immy? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. Harland: Immy? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- Harland: Harland: I’ll call you back. *hangs up* Harland: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD! Immy: WHO ARE YOU?!

(Harland: DID YOU SERIOUSLY GO THAT FAR TO CALL ME UGLY?? Immy: YES!)

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Immy please come to the front desk? Immy, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Felix and Harland Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Felix and Harland, simultaneously: We got lost :( Immy: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

(Immy is the leader of their little group, so yes I cosign this would happen)

Immy: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Felix: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Immy: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Harland: edible

(Immy: You already are edible though. Felix: Dandelions are edible??)

Immy, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Felix, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids Harland: what the fuck are you guys doing? Immy: playing systemic oppression

(Why do I feel that Harland is the only one of the three who knows what that even means---)

Immy: I told Felix their ears flush when they lie. Harland: Why? Immy: Look. Immy: Hey Felix! Do you love us? Felix, covering their ears: No. Harland:

(AWWWWWWWWWWWWW-)

Immy: WHY. why did you give Harland a KNIFE?! Felix: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Immy: Now I feel unsafe! Felix: I’m sorry. Felix: ... would you like a knife?

(And that’s how she got her knife.)

Immy: We need to get through this locked door. Felix, give me your credit card. Felix: Here. Immy, pocketing it: Thanks. Harland, kick down the door.

(And then he tries feabily and knocks himself over in the process.)

Immy: Felix, keep an eye on Harland today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Felix: Sure, I’d love to see Harland get punched. Immy: Try again. Felix, sighing: I will stop Harland from getting punched.

(When they met Bentley:)

*The group is getting into the car* Immy: I’m driving. Felix, out of view: Shotgun! Harland, turning to face Felix: Aww! But you had it on the way here- Everyone except Felix: WOAH- Felix, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

(Isaac is a bad influence on him.)

Immy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Felix: Wasn't Harland with you? Harland: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

(This.. this is just the trio. As a whole. Who has the braincell? None of them, and they don’t know it either.)

Immy: Harland and I are having a baby. Felix: That's gre- Immy, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

(Harland is just hiding in the background because of how embarrassing this situation is.)

Immy: I trust Felix. Harland: You think they know what they're doing? Immy: I wouldn't go that far.

(Immy: He’s a good kid, but smart...)

Immy: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Felix: How am I supposed to know? Harland: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Felix: *sighs* Felix: You wouldn't be trapped.

(I keep laughing because of these and my dad is laughing from my laughing and I wanna kick him in the shins)

Immy: If Felix and I were drowning, who would you save? Harland: You two can’t swim? Felix: It’s a hypothetical question, Harland! who would you save? Harland: my time and effort.

(A sneaky way of avoiding admitting that he can’t swim himself B) )

Immy, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Felix: You did WHAT– Harland: William Snakepeare 

(Felix is still new to the squad. He’ll learn eventually.)

[grimmradiance]

The dreamers? 👀

Okay so here’s hoping there isn’t a secret character limit on ask responses because Hoo Boy, I Have Lost Control Of This Ask.

Monomon

A. realistic

Monomon is super hyperempathetic--that’s part of the reason the Foggy Canyon is the way it is.  She’s surrounded by other creatures that prefer to simply exist, who are fine with being left alone, but also don’t mind if she or that odd heavy bug she adopted gives them a little pat on the way past.  That’s also the reason Quirrel is so good with a nail--Monomon could channel the powers of lightning and/or explosions that other jelly creatures seem to have, but emotionally? imagine the toll.

B. not realistic but hilarious

She has NO sense of scale whatsoever. None.  Most bugs in Hallownest measure things against their height, since a bug’s shell is rigid and generally about the same length all the time, but since Monomon is 70% jelly by volume, she tends to measure herself like a cat or a mouse would, by the amount of space she needs to fit into places.  This makes Quirrel’s life...unusual, to say the least.  She gets stuck places sometimes.

C. heart-wrenching

If she’s hyperempathetic, imagine how she fucking feels about Quirrel and the Hollow Knight. I can’t even go off on a three paragraph rant on this one it just makes me HURT.  Quirrel being sent to the Howling Cliffs for No Thoughts Crystalline Memories Empty treatment was probably her best attempt at mercy.  God. I’m never gonna be over these sad fucking bugs.

D. it’s my canon and I choose what parts of it matter

Monomon is a very, very clever conversationalist.  She knows how to talk in just such a way that you feel like you’re being heard and understood, until you suddenly realized you’ve said something aloud you really shouldn’t, and Monomon says “don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”

And then, of course, she tells Quirrel, because what is knowledge for if not to be shared?  The two of them could totally take down the structure of the White Palace if they were on the same page about how to go about it.

Herrah

A. realistic

This is more about Deepnest in general, but the Weavers prefer to be left to their own devices, and leave other groups of insects to theirs. I mean, look at the Weaverlings from the Weaver’s Song charm.  They’re the only companion charm that doesn’t actively target enemy bugs, they just sort of...wibble around.  And they’re a relic of the Weavers as they moved towards the heart of Deepnest.  The dangerous, heavily-trapped and hypervigilant Deepnest we see is a product of outside interference, presumably the Pale King being salty that the Weavers didn’t accept his rule.

B. not realistic but hilarious

Herrah didn’t just teach Hornet to be a persnickety little anarchist terror in the White Palace, oh no.  She tried to teach Quirrel to be a feral little gremlin too.  I mean, most of it didn’t stick, but she tried.

C. heart-wrenching

You know that one Tumblr post that’s basically “sorry, all the nice queers are gone, you killed them, so now it’s just us pissed-off cockroach motherfuckers left”?  That’s what happened to Deepnest.  What kind of peaceful or uninvolved society would need anything fucking like the Midwife or the Devouts? Well, they’re perfectly good to have around if peace is no longer an option.  Every once in a while I just lose it thinking about all the culture the Weavers probably had preserved through their tapestries, and how much of it must have gotten destroyed along the way.

Also bonus round for Sad And/Or Horrifying Implications regarding Hornet: most spiders lay hundreds or thousands of eggs at a time.  I don’t have the time to even START unpacking Hornet’s distinct lack of siblings (as in specifically not half-siblings).

D. it’s my canon and I choose what parts of it matter

slaps my little hands on the table.  Even as everything was going to shit, Vespa and Herrah were still good friends, and sent letters to each other over the Stagways.  She got to know a number of Vespa’s subjects very well, including the Hive Knight. Silksong better give us more lore on them.

Lurien

A. realistic

The Pale King loved having Lurien around because Lurien was half of TPK’s charisma.  TPK very much seems the type to get wound up in his own thoughts and image, constantly micromanaging it to get the best response from specific people. (Unrelated, but I think only the Hollow Knight knows what TPK is really like, since if TPK really did believe Hollow had no mind and no voice, why would he bother? People make that exact assumption all the time with disabled people anyways, I am sick of my peers realizing I have a disability and changing the way they act around me send tweet  This is a whole other post, maybe I’ll write it another time.)  So who better is there to have around than someone whose hobby and greatest skill is watching a situation and analyzing it?  Once the Dreamers were sealed, TPK’s public image was fucked, no doubt about it.

B. not realistic but hilarious

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned Autistic Lurien before but he is in my head, so branching off of my own experiences: this guy is the KING of Relatable Lapses Of Insight.  This man has drunk paint water before on accident.  This man has tried to sit on a stack of tablets and knocked himself over.  This man will spend three minutes explaining how light reflection works to try and convey the word he’s forgetting. (The word he’s forgetting is “mirror.”)  I care him so much.

C. heart-wrenching

I cannot overexaggerate how fucking brilliant of a meta-narrative choice the existence of Lurien’s butler is. I *cannot.*  I am perpetually in awe of how good Hollow Knight is with environmental storytelling, and how much material it leaves for people who love to dig way too far into things. 

Why do I bring this up here?  Lurien’s butler is a parallel to Hornet and Quirrel, who are, to Herrah and Monomon, their only concrete link to the present that isn’t at least partially painted over in the Pale King’s propaganda.  And he’s been Light-ridden for gods only know how long.  The popular fanon about Lurien having it bad for the Pale King always gets me thinking about this, because we have Lurien’s journal as our only source on him. A scarce few lines: his sleep is in service to King and kingdom.

I can’t help but wonder if Lurien chose those words especially deliberately, knowing they would be his last. “Though my gaze falls no longer on this city, I will act forever in its protection,” in a journal carefully hidden in a private building of the City of Tears.  Why hide something like that with so much care, unless there was something to be gleaned from it?  Well, whatever information we need to know about Lurien to contextualize anything outside of context clues and the King’s image of him would have been with someone who was loyal and trustworthy enough to watch over him. Someone who was loyal and trustworthy enough that that would be all that remained in their mind, even under the Light’s influence.

Basically, what I’m getting at here: I know for a fact there is something we don’t know about Lurien, and whatever that secret is, it died with his butler.

D. it’s my canon and I choose what parts of it matter

Lurien travels!  He is very good at making up academic or political excuses for it, but we all know why he’s really leaving the city: to paint.  He isn’t quite as skilled with natural features as the regular shapes you see in a city, but he enjoys himself so that’s what matters.

[mehenxe]

“ i want to be in love. ” / “ can i be a little nasty?” / “ it wasn’t anyone’s fault. not really. ” / “ i’m losing my mind, losing control. ” / “ terrified of my love for you?” / “ your words felt like sharp knives. ” / “ how did you become like this?” / “ say something nice or don’t speak. ” / “ really? what did you dream about?” / “ we were both afraid, shut up. ” — dealer's choice, have fun.

“ i want to be in love. ” // the grey seer ◌ her best friend.

and the depiction of love upon the laptop screen in front of them, high-definition, remastered in soundtrack, unfolds. black-and-white creases and tears, static in the picture, what could i do if i didn’t have you? where will i go? and the embrace, the hands around the shoulders, the subtle squeezing of the appendages. she watches the scene, & then watches him, enraptured, wanting it. does he even realise he has remarked this aloud to her? spoken it into existence, wished so desperately for its occurrence? “i know,” she whispers. just in case he hadn’t. just in case this is a secret he wished for the walls to swallow. “i know you do. and maybe you already are. and it just hasn’t seen you yet.” perhaps she is thinking of herself. perhaps she is thinking of a woman with dark, short hair and gloss on her lips. perhaps she is thinking about all the things she said. or hadn’t. “it’ll happen. i promise. just be patient.”

“ can i be a little nasty? ” // the french serpent ◌ his beaded shark.

the inquiry interrupts the little song and dance he has happening in front of the stove. two pans on the burners, one sizzling, one being brought up to sizzling after being coated in olive oil. it is a surprise supper, which he framed as cooking for others but, in truth, he planned to cook for the two of them. he glances over his shoulder, arching his brow. breakfast for supper: the staple of french toast, of course, and then some spins on grilled cheese, quick little soup. something sweet bakes in the oven. he meets that little smirk, and realises he must be in a good mood. ( it pleases him greatly to see him smile. ) “a — little nast-ee?” he is dressed in a matching set of black silk pyjamas and bright blue shark slippers. his apron is blush-pink, with the princess is in the castle embroidered in the corner. he shakes his hips as if dancing. “now, i am intrigued? tell me at once what is on your mind, eh? nice kisses in, ah, naughty places?”

“ it wasn’t anyone’s fault. not really. ” // the god of death ◌ his god of life.

the city stretches out behind them, fog-riddled, dense, encrypted. a myriad of secrets he must discover within its recesses, all of them putrid, stinking of bile. he sits at the desk, crossed one ankle over one knee, elbow propping up his upper body and his neck, erect. his glasses do not disguise the repulsion in his gaze, and he does not bother to save face about it. a sneer, then; a bitter draught to drink from. it wasn’t anyone’s fault. then there is that pause, that label slapped on  their foreheads: not really. judgement passed, recite the sign of the cross, depart the pews. the service is ending. the funeral is over. “not really, hm. is that your defence now?” he rises. he is rolling in his own steam, the own wrath of it. but he cannot bring himself to raise his voice. it is as though there are too many parties listening. “not really. that means it was someone’s fault. and we know exactly who’s fault it was, don’t we?”

“ i’m losing my mind, losing control. ” // the bejewelled dragon ◌ his skeleton beast.

“no, you’re not. you’re right here with me.” blood, dripping from the edge of the soul’s sword, and he stows it in his scabbard, the echoing veins of the throbbing hollow, deadening around them. the whole of the battle, muted. soot against their cheeks, and he swipes it off of his thin cheek and it drags, it stains further. “you’re not losing anything. okay? it’s different now.” and it remains to be seen, how much he would do, how much he could do, in order to make sure this pierced his hide and penned itself as the ultimate truth. the bones of their dragon-corpses, how they rise from the stream, water pouring from their nostrils. the errant roar of another from not too far away, the slipping and diving of their siblings. the star-magic pealing through the sky. his heart throbs as he stares at him, watches those eyes, staring, daring them almost to become as soulless as they both feel. “we’re almost done here. it’ll be over soon.”

“ terrified of my love for you? ” // the undying warlord ◌ his ridden battle.

it had been the one confession they both had silently agreed to avoid. what good would it do, for creatures of their respective natures to love? to be such beasts of the literal underworld, for love to be a price that neither of them can afford. what good would it do? and now, the bones revealing themselves, the flesh peeled away. they do not stand far from each other. there are no clothes to separate them. he feels so young, his breath stopping entirely, and how fortunate it is that he does not need it any longer to be alive. ( he is, after all, nothing worse off than dead. ) how can he hope to — what will he — “terrified? perhaps. terrified of what it means. terrified of you. what you mean. how we’re going to — how we’re going to carry on with this. because of what is happening out there, and waking up, discovering you feral in the forest —” he shakes his head. “you love me? even through this, you love me, and how?” 

“ your words felt like sharp knives. ” // the god of chaos ◌ his oceanic song.

he keeps his back to him. the carton of cigarettes, a staple on the counter, perhaps even more so than home-cooked food, and this, this was the person that he had surrendered the remnants of his piss-poor life for. this was the glitter-bomb, the madness unravelling, the toxic and terrible idea that so readily laid itself bare across his lap. getting high together, and regaining feeling in their senses through slotting their hips and moaning into each other’s mouths, this had become his life. he is a sharp knife. left out where he can be touched, he slices, that is the end of it. this is what his lover knew, when he signed up to continue to be with him. when he ignored all of the warning signs, the red flags, the advice from others. the better choices. “the hell you want me to say? i already said sorry. i even meant it.” everything he says, awful, crooked, it has no general direction. as chaotic as he is. “you want me on my knees, princess?”

“ how did you become like this? ” // the final heir ◌ his grey seer.

frothing, flames licking at his arms, he embodied the arson, the tragedy. he could not escape it. he wept tears and all of them tasted like the grief he refused to acknowledge. himself, thorough in how embittered he had become against those he once called friends. and how difficult it made things, in attempting to connect with people of a different time. now, their conversation, hushed and secretive. all could see him, and yet it is as though he cannot exist freely. “i already told y’all the story of what went on. we’re tryna find out the truth of it, yeah? but — i guess that ain’t what you mean.” and he isn’t sure what else there is. what else he has been created from except for his wounds. how the witch managed to sew him together will remain a mystery for as long as he remains a tethered soul. “i became like this ‘cause — i dunno. nobody was around to make me become somethin’ different. that’s all i got, really.”

“ say something nice or don’t speak. ” // the fallen jedi ◌ his lilac princess.

“don’t speak? perish the thought.” he is cross again. look at him, with that pucker across his forehead and the crease in his brow. he’s become offended by something that was said, and to think, he hadn’t the slightest idea what had done it. leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, and he pushes away from that surface to approach him. his boots softening each of his steps, and those, slower and deliberate. approaching, stalking perhaps. because he finds him to be stupidly interesting, and he himself is the worst idea, the worst decision that could be made for a princess of this calibre. still, the two of them, refraining from ever touching, and yet, continuing their orbit, their delicious desires licking at their insides. he would like to lick him. down that slim column of a throat. perhaps he should say that. perhaps that would be nice. “we can’t have it both ways. either you want me to speak my mind, or not.”

“ really? what did you dream about? ” // the ripest peach ◌ her stable mountain.

she had not dreamt in quite some time, and therefore, it frightened her. what does it mean, these successions of images, these pictures in frames? of children that she had known, and ones she did not remember, what significance could this have? she presses her back into his chest, his shoulders broad, his arms large; all of him, larger than life, than the world, strong and impermeable as rock, and she melts against it. her nakedness safe with him, her medical scars, her lack of fertility. her darkest secrets, which she has so long tucked beneath her tongue. and he brushes back her hair from her ears, as if coaxing the churning words from her mind. “i had a dream that — that we were all in paradise together. that the creatures had gone. that our family hadn’t separated. i had a dream that none of us had to die in order to find it. there were so many children there. running in the fields amok. all of them — ours.”

“ we were both afraid, shut up. ” // the underground racer ◌ his forsaken son.

“... y-yeah! we were both afraid, sure! or maybe we weren’t!” his lover, climbing over the middle console, grinding his hips down upon his own hips, and he bites back a moan. they’re going to forget about the fear; it doesn’t matter if it’s confessed to the walls of this car. the engine, how it purrs as it stalls, until he turns it off, and then, only their mingling breaths. the sound of a zipper, that hand, it finds him — “oh.” a gasp. “yeah — oh, jesus —” their clothes, sliding down enough to reach each other, to be bare where it matters, where they’re most needed. he clings to those hips, slides that tunic up his lover’s chest, bites down on the skin there. “you shut up.” halfway to teasing. he feels every part of him now, his irises so brown, mundane, attentive. “make me shut up.” he does. hips in tight circles, reducing him to whimpers, his own rocking, frantic, and passioned. “y-you shut up, i — oh, god, i love you — you’re so good, baby —”