#Not romantically they’re way older and married ew

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

Look, all Tyler and Josh have to do is release a single song like In The Light THATS ALL IN SAYING

[arrowflier]

Lovely Arrow, a random plot bunny appeared and I just know you could do it justice: what if Franny has some friends over at Mickey and Ian's place when she's older and one of them is new to the group and wants to learn a little more about her uncles? And Franny starts waxing poetic about how they're made for each other and complement each other so well and both Ian and Mickey overhear and it makes them tear up a little. Just a thought 😋🥰

Evie, thank you! I've decided that Franny's friends love her uncles almost as much as she does, so that's kind of where this went.

---

“Why are we here again?” Tiffany asks as they crowd onto the stoop of the little southside worker’s cottage. Franny doesn’t bother to answer as she knocks on the door, but one of the other girls takes pity.

“It’s her Uncle’s house,” Susan says. “Jesus, Tiff, pay attention.”

Well, not too much pity. There was a reason she’d never been invited before, after all.

“Yikes, Suze,” Tiffany mutters with a frown. “I just meant why weren’t we at her actual house.”

“Because my actual house is loud as shit,” Franny finally chimes in, not even looking back. “My mom gets lonely so we live with like three other families, it’s a nightmare for schoolwork.”

“You’d have known that if you paid any attention,” Susan adds, and they all ignore Tiffany’s pout.

It doesn’t last long anyway, because the door creaks open not a moment later.

“Hey Fran,” Ian says from the other side. His hair is longer than usual right now, and looks windswept—or like someone had been carding hands through it all morning. His shirt was tight-fitting and a little too short, like it didn’t belong to him, and the socks on his feet didn’t match.

“Hey Uncle Ian,” Franny greets, then gestures to her friends. “It still cool if we take over the living room for a bit? This group paper is a beast.”

“Of course,” Ian agrees with a wide smile. “Anything to help my favorite niece.” He opens the door wider to let them in.

“Nice to see you all again,” he says as they start to file inside. “John, Rachel,” he greets them individually. “Susan, that new haircut is fantastic, I told you it would be.”

“Thanks, Mr. Gallagher,” Susan says with a grin, tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

Ian grimaces at her, playfully.

"Ian, please," he begs. "I've never met a Mr. Gallagher I didn't want to punch."

Susan giggles, and moves inside.

“I don’t think I’ve met you,” Ian says with a thoughtful frown when it's Tiffany's turn, and Franny jumps in with an introduction.

“Uncle Ian, this is Tiff,” she says. “She got put with us for the project.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ian says, and holds out a hand.

Tiffany takes it, and when Ian lets go, her hand just hovers there.

“Make yourselves at home,” Ian says as he closes the door behind them. “I’ll be in the other room if you need anything, but—

“Try not to need anything,” they all chorus, with the exception of Tiffany.

“Good kids,” Ian laughs, and then he’s gone, disappearing through the archway that leads through to the rest of the house.

They settle quickly. John and Rachel take the love seat, as they’re always wont to do, sitting just a little too close. Rachel giggles as their knees brush, and Franny rolls her eyes at John’s blush.

She takes her own usual spot next to Susan on the floor, notebooks spread out across the ottoman, and startles when Tiffany suddenly appears on her other side.

“Dude,” Tiffany hisses, poking Franny in the shoulder. “Your uncle is so hot.”

Franny frowns, staring down at the wrinkle Tiffany left on her sleeve.

“Yeah,” she says idly as she smooths it. “So I’ve heard.”

“I mean I mean I always thought red hair looked weird--no offence," she tacks on hastily, "but it really works for him."

Franny focuses on arranging her things to avoid smacking Tiffany in the face.

"Does he have a girlfriend?” Tiffany asks, biting her lip. She toys with the ends of her over-crimped hair, bright nail polish flashing between blonde strands.

“No,” Franny answers, and doesn’t give Tiffany any time to think about that before adding, “he has a husband.”

Tiffany pouts, shimmery pink lips sticking out comically. Franny exchanges a look with Susan, who mimics the expression in a way that has Franny trying to swallow her laughter.

“So not fair,” Tiffany whines beside them, crossing her arms. “Why are all the cute ones taken?”

“Hey!” John protests from across the room, but they all ignore him except for Rachel, who hits him with her three-ring binder.

“Mickey would probably kill you for looking at him,” Susan chimes in, “so you should probably keep your eyes to yourself anyway.”

“Yeah,” Rachel agrees, even as she rubs John’s arm in apology. “He’s been to jail, you know.”

“Ew,” Tiffany says, wrinkling her nose. “There’s no way he deserves someone like Ian, then.”

Franny grips her pencil too tightly. Susan sends her a warning look, but she ignores it.

“Actually,” she says casually, hiding her irritation, “they’re perfect for each other.”

Tiffany‘s brow wrinkles.

“No way,” she disagrees. “You Uncle seems so sweet, he deserves someone nice at least.”

Franny’s pencil snaps.

“Shit, she’s done it now,” John mutters.

“Uncle Mickey is nice,” Franny grits out between clenched teeth. “He’s a hell of a lot nicer than you, actually.”

“Franny—” Rachel tries to interrupt, but Susan cuts in over her.

“She’s not wrong,” Susan says. “You’re in the man’s home, Tiff, have a little tact.”

“Besides,” John speaks up, “Mickey is great. He helped me with my math homework last week.”

“Come on!” Tiffany cries. “There’s no way some ex-con should be married to that hunk out there.”

“Ian’s an ex-con too, though,” Susan says. “Right, Fran?”

Franny smiles.

“That’s right,” she confirms gleefully. “They were in jail together, actually.”

Tiffany pales.

“No way,” she mumbles, but they aren’t done.

“Yeah, it’s the most romantic story!” Rachel all but squeals. “Mickey wasn’t even in the country, but he heard Ian needed him and he came right back!”

“They’d been together for like, years already,” John contributes. “High school sweethearts or something like that.”

Rachel latches onto him at that, and he flushes again.

“And they take such good care of each other,” Susan adds. “Last time I was here Ian wasn’t feeling too good, and Mickey made us all be quiet so he could sleep. Then I helped him make some soup, ‘cause he isn’t good at that stuff.”

Tiffany is biting her lip again, staring at them each in turn.

“But Ian seems so—”

“In love with his husband?” Franny cuts her off dryly. “Sounds right to me.”

The others all agree, but Franny isn’t done.

“My Uncles have the best relationship I’ve ever seen,” Franny continues, “and I was a little kid for most of it. So if you think they’re gonna care what some random kid their niece hangs out with thinks about their marriage…” she trails off.

Tiffany’s eyes are downcast.

“Didn’t mean anything by it,” she mutters, then looks up through her eyelashes. “Sorry.”

Silence, broken by Franny’s tired sigh.

“It’s okay, I guess,” she says. Then she hands Tiffany her notebook. “Here, you can write the introduction.”

——-

Behind a half-closed door down the hall, Mickey stands quietly, eyes wide. He startles when the door creaks open an extra inch, Ian slipping inside.

Ian’s eyes are soft when they fall on his face, and Mickey blinks hurriedly to hide the wetness in his own.

“You heard all that, I take it?” Ian whispers, and Mickey nods.

“Yeah,” he says hoarsely. “Kind of hard not to, those kids are fucking banshees.”

Ian laughs, soft and quiet.

“Banshees that love you,” he says, stepping closer. “As they should,” he adds when Mickey lets him wrap strong arms around him.

“Sounds like one of ‘em loves you more,” Mickey mumbles into Ian’s chest, and it shakes as Ian huffs.

“She’ll learn,” he says, holding Mickey tighter. “They all do eventually.”

“That I’m the better husband?” Mickey jokes, even as he rubs his face into the fabric of his own shirt over Ian’s broad chest.

“That we’re best together,” Ian corrects, and Mickey smiles.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, pressing a kiss to Ian’s sternum.

“Yeah, we really are.”

[asexualone]

(pls take the time to read)

Signs I should have known I was aro: Disney edition

I think this topic has been stressed a lot already. But here is my take, anyway.

Of course, romantic love had been, is and will always be one of the main themes in kids' movies. Why, I can never fully understand. I'll explain below how I like other themes more.

Some time ago, I did a post on the kiss/hug scenes in Rapunzel which depicts how much more I value acts of showing love that don't include kissing.

Not only those two. I have a history of hating Disney on-screen smooches. As a kid, I thought, "Well, maybe, I don't like seeing these characters kiss because it's a grownup thing."

Could you blame me? When my parents were in the room and a kissing scene appeared on the screen, they changed the channel. So my toddler brain concluded that the reason I didn't like watching kisses was because I wasn't of age to like it. Or something.

At the time, I had no idea that I was hand-picking my favorite movies by the level of romance they had in. Or lack thereof. And I was a very judgemental kid. Let's go through my original thoughts on some Disney classics.

Snow White — No. Just no. She's a child, fourteen. Marrying an older guy she doesn't even know. After he kisses her corpse. NO.

Cinderella — The age difference is a little better, I guess. So is the age of consent. But they only talked one (1) night and he relied on that slipper to find her instead of asking to meet all women and see for himself. Fairytale logic I guess. I didn't like how she called it love immediately and kissed the prince at least once that same night. Or how they got married immediately.

The Sleeping Beauty — Must I even explain? Aurora didn't even know Philip that much, had only met him once (if you exclude the "dreams"). And yet, he's her true love, the only one who can revive her corpse. Ridiculous. And yes, kissing a comatose body, ew. Also, the arranged marriage trope pisses me off, royalty or not. Aurora was engaged as a newborn baby, come on.

Mulan — Cinematic gold. I didn't know it back then, but the fact that romantic love is such a pushed-aside aspect in this movie gives me life. The songs give me life. Especially when the trio dresses as concubines and "Be a Man" plays in the background. An absolute gem, lmao. The sequel however ruined the story somewhat for me, too much lovey-dovey stuff. I like Mulan more when she's fighting than when she's acting all sappy towards Shang, sorry not sorry.

Peter Pan — Loved it, still do. But I did dislike the mermaids, the image of fangirls who are petty towards other girls. And Pan's brief "relationship" with Tiger Lily was nauseating to me. I couldn't explain it but when Pan blushed at her nose-nuzzling thing, I always pulled a face.

The Princess and the Frog — In my opinion, (remember, always my opinion): Tiana, this hard-working girl who doesn't belong to anyone, was lost to love. Well, not lost. But falling for Naveen in the course of three days? Unrealistic and kinda unnecessary. Sweet, but still. I adored the "relationship" between Ray and Evangeline more. Either way, it's a movie that I enjoyed when love wasn't that prominent on screen.

Aladdin — I love this movie because of the Genie. The relationship between Jasmine and Aladdin is meh. She forgot his face and didn't recognize him until later. Their coming together is a lot like that trope "first guy who treats her right sets the expectations and wins her heart". Usually that's a thing, not only in Disney movies but media in general. The female lead settles for the first guy that treats her right because the bar is that low. A good movie, all in all. Love how Jasmine stands up for herself at least. Not a lot of princesses fight against the objectification of women.

Pocahontas — I used to hate this movie. I didn't sit right with me: the racism in it, the manipulation, the murders. And the romance, yes. Pocahontas fell for the strange man who tickled her curiosity in the span of two days. I also hated how her father just sold her to marry Kocoum like that. I know it's tradition. Heck, that's a tradition that still goes on in my country. Maybe that's why I didn't like seeing it on screen. And Pocahontas doesn't even end up with John Smith. The second movie definitely ruined the story. So yes, she's the first princess who fell for a man in three days, TWICE. Needless to say, only the songs kept me from blacklisting the movie entirely.

The Little Mermaid — I actually loved this movie for some reason. I can't explain why, maybe it was my obsession with mermaids. Yeah, that was probably it. But I was pissed when Ariel exchanged her tail for legs. Not to mention human periods and overall, all the bad in the world, for a man she'd only seen once. As I grew up I realized just how f*cked up that story was: Ariel giving her entire lifestyle, family and identity up for a guy she hadn't even spoken to. I don't know why I loved that movie, alright? Hell I still do a little. The sequel too. Say what you want.

Brave — (I know this is technically Pixar, shut up) Much like the paradox with Ariel, I didn't like this movie. I can't explain it. Maybe because Merida wasn't the typical Disney princess I had been used to seeing. Now though, I ADORE that story. No, it's not because Merida knows archery... Okay, yes maybe a little. I love the aro-arrow word play, alright? Anyway, the way Merida fights against being shipped to a husband like the "tradition" I aforementioned asks her to, has always had my heart, even when I didn't like the movie. The focus on the mother-daughter relationship is special, I love it. Stellar movie.

Tangled — One of my favorite Disney movies, my favorite princess. But her relationship with Eugene.... Well. Again, three days. That's all it takes to fall in love. Classic of Disney. Not only that, but Eugene is literally the first man person Raps has ever since, besides Gothel. The bar is nonexistent for her, she would have fallen for anyone. He lied to her and she still... Well, I won't stress that any longer. Their relationship in the end is sweet, one of the few cases where we are actually shown that they would risk their lives to save each other. Respect that. Mostly, I love her magical hair and Pascal. And the guys of Snuggly Duckling.

Moana — EPIC MOVIE. The story, the culture, the character growth, the plot twist, everything! Loved it at first sight, at second and forever. Even more when I became aware that there's no romance in it. I don't think I need to say more.

Frozen — My opinions on this movie have always been changing, accompanied by mixed feelings. So the relationship between sisters was cute, but Lilo and Stitch made that more realistic. Anna's relationship with Hans, ugh. I think that for a long time I used the fact that he was the antagonist to justify my absolute hate for the way Anna "fell" for him in one evening. Again, Anna sweetheart. This is the first man you've met. The bar is nonexistent for you too. God bless Elsa for forbidding her to marry Hans. And while it's cute to think Elsa as a lesbian, she has aromantic vibes. Sorry not sorry, but she's also a God by the end of Frozen 2. Gods are beyond attraction, I said what I said.

Raya and the Last Dragon — Loved it, still do. Say what you will about "dragon Elsa". Sisu is her own character, and I adore her. And yes, I love the lack of romance in the movie. Make no mistake, I shipped Raya and Namaari from the first moment they smiled at each other. I swear on my name that I paused the movie and screamed, GAYYYY, at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I was home alone. If only Disney directors would do the right fcking thing and give me a queer main couple!! I swear I wouldn't mind the lovey-dovey romance one bit.

Of course, I've left dozens of movies out. This post is already way longer than I wanted it to be. But I think that was enough to make a point.

While I'm not romance-repulsed, seeing animated kisses (and unnecessary relationships) on screen makes me uncomfortable. As a child and as a grownup. It just doesn't sit right with me. Not to mention all these princesses who identify with their princes and specifically their relationships with said princes when they're perfect on their. Wreck it Ralph 2 made them a favor, I think, by making them work together and showing their strengths. Another movie I love.

Friendship just makes an overall better theme to apply to kids shows, my opinion. Family, work, self-discovery, mental health, happiness. These are all better themes to portray in media dedicated for children. Which is, again, my opinion.

And yes, Disney has been getting better. They've fixed the age difference and the age of consent. The female characters no longer depend on the male ones, at least not as often. They understand the assignment, alright. There are still many questionable things about Disney's reputation though, things we all choose to overlook for the sake of the good movies. But who knows? They might change. Hopefully soon we'll also have an obviously queer couple in a movie. Hope dies last.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Surveys #431-432

two biggins’ in one, beware the long post.

Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines? No. How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? I couldn't possibly count the cats. A lot. We've had I wanna say eight dogs through my entire life. Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? No. My older sister played the clarinet in school, though. Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? I have, but they don't really affect my stress level. Can you crack crab legs without a tool? UGH EW I hate crab legs. So mushy and just... ew. I don't think I've tried to without a tool. How many light sources are in the room you’re in? Excluding the natural light out my windows, three. What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Just your usual cream cheese. Who’s your favorite director? Tim Burton. I love his style. Bats: cute or gross? Bats are SO goddamn cute. What was the last really intense pain you felt? I had a sudden pain in my chest the other day that scared me quite a bit. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? A lake, for sure. How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I'd be way too lonely. What is your father's middle name? John. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? Probably Jason. A masked guy just casually pursuing you with a knife is horrifying to me. If you married your favorite celebrity what would your last name be? Fischbach alskdfla;wer;lkwera;wle Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? No. Which one of your family members are you closest to? My ma. Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? Shoes. It's very important for them to be comfy for me. Are you a good liar? Yes. :x Are you proud of your parents? Yeah. If you could get backstage tickets to ANY concert - which would you pick? If Mom was with me, Metallica. She would actually fucking die if she met them. Like she cried and laughed with joy when she found out about the concert in Raleigh some years ago, and we thought we were going to go, but yeah, money. Which is better: orange or grape soda? Orange cream soda. Grape soda is so gross. Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? It was room temperature. Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? Our landlord/family friend. I think. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Can you remember the last song you listened to? I'm listening to "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White right now. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Ha, that is a colossal understatement... Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? Definitely not. I couldn't even do stuff like that as a kid. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? ^ Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, for sure. Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? No. If not, do you want one? Not right now. I want to focus on the gym and getting in shape. Do any medical afflictions run in your family? A whole lot. What’s your favorite Mexican dish? Shrimp quesadillas. Or rice with cheese sauce. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yeah, hockey and baseball. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? I'm actually conflicted on this right now. I use tampons, but there are reasons I don't really like them and am considering something else. Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Not me myself, but Mom has. What months were you and your siblings born in? My two immediate sisters were born in April and June. What did you have for dinner last night? Uhhhhh... I want to say I had a chicken pesto bowl? Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? No, that sounds so uncomfortable. Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? No. I don't care about that anymore. Has your town ever flooded? Oh, for sure. Hurricane Floyd from when I was... I wanna say two or three WRECKED my area. Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? Yeah. That was a blast as a kiddo. Have you ever taken a picture of snow? Yeah. Do you cry easily? Very. Are you happy with where you live? No. The suburbs suck. I miss living in the country so much. Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No. Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, she's my best friend in the whole world. What genre is your favorite movie? I actually don't know what it's considered? It's a kids movie, though. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? My permit picture is fucking hideous. When was the last time somebody hit on you? *shrug* Was the last person you met a male or female? A guy - my personal trainer. What brand is your underwear? I'm in my pjs, and only a madman would wear underwear to bed. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Just the rolls, really, lol. I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving foods at all. Do you have a TV in your room? No, because I don't watch TV. Are any of your electronics charging right now? My laptop always is, though I know you shouldn't do that. I need to charge my phone, too. What was the last video game you played? Video game, not computer, I want to say uh... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me. He didn't. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. What was the last song you had on repeat? The song I mentioned earlier. Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? Markiplier. :') How many college degrees do you want? It'd be nice to have a Bachelor's in SOMETHING, but I'm not returning to school. Three tries was enough money down the drain. Can you wink? Yeah. Do you own any jerseys? No. Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? Uh, no. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? No. The last time Jason and I hung out in any capacity was his brother's wife's baby shower, and it's a bad memory. As well, it just reminds me of what I once wanted with him. I'll go to them and be okay, but definitely not thrilled. Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? Yes, especially in the I want to say 8th grade. I had an inescapable crisis that literally lasted a whole week (or maybe more) forcing myself to believe I was straight, despite already showing but denying bisexual attractions. I was religious back then, so believed if I wasn't straight, I'd go to Hell. Then I came out as bisexual in uhhhh... 2018 I wanna say, and that was a long examination of my feelings. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders when I accepted it. I felt legit happy. Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? ugggghhhhh yes Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? No. What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? My earbuds are pink and white. Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, for sure. My fave is strawberries. What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? I have a pink and black lacy one that is super cute, but it's too small for me right now. It just stays in my drawer. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No. What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? If I'm stopping there for a snack (which is usually the only time we stop by one), I tend to get a honeybun. Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! No, that is so gross. When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? I want a medium-sized house that's semi-isolated in the woods. I'd love a nice path to walk down and take photos, a catio for Roman or whatever cat I may have in the future... stuff like that. I need lots of nature. Where do you want to get married? In some sort of gothic building, though I'm sure that would be a WILDLY expensive venue, so I doubt that'll happen. Realistically, either in the woods or even a massive flower garden. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes. What is your favorite childhood TV show? Pokemon. Honestly, do you like school? No, I didn't. Last thing that made you cry? PTSD. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? No big secrets, no. Last person you took a walk with? Sara, years ago. Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? Oh, have I... Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? Probably Jason, honestly. Does any part of your body hurt? My non-existent abs are killing me from exercising yesterday. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? While it's tempting, hand me the cash. Can you keep a secret? Absolutely. You tell me a secret, you can guarantee I'll be keeping it between you and me. Your favorite romantic movie? The Notebook. How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I honestly like it. I love the aesthetic of it, and I know people say "well you should celebrate love every day," and while that's right, what's so wrong about nationally designating a specific day to appreciate it? I think it's a very cute holiday. Who was the last person you took a picture with? My sister Katie. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? I haven't worn jeans in yeeeeaaaarrrrssss. When I did though, I loved jeans like that, especially for skinny jeans. Do you celebrate 420?No. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. How do you eat Oreos? I prefer to just dip them in milk. If that's unavailable, I separate the two parts, eat the cream, and then the two cookies. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No. Would you survive in prison? Absofuckinglutely not. It's dark, but just to be entirely honest, I'd probably find a way to kill myself. Ever been to Georgia? I've been through it. Do you get your hair cut every month? Not every month, no. It needs a trim right now badly, though.

Current relationship in detail. I'm single and should be. If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? My dad. List things you spend money on in an average week. Nothing. Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. He was honestly a 10 lmao like I don't have a lot of experience at all, but yeah. Post the last FB group/page that you joined. I actually don't remember because I've been on break from Facebook for around a month. Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? No... Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? I'm sure he has. He dated someone right after me for like... eight months or something? Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? I think that's very obvious by now. What board games are you good at? Idk, I don't really enjoy board games. Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? Definitely no sports, but I've been wanting to get back into video editing. I just... haven't, even though I have the software. Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? They're incredibly immature. I see zero humor in them. Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? They're hot as fuck, man. Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? I'll just say they're divorced for good reasons. Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? No. If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? Almost never. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? Realistically, I wouldn't answer because I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. Hypothetically, if I knew it was him, I'd probably say something along the lines of, "Hey J, are you okay?", because something must be seriously wrong if he wants to talk to me of all people. If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? Mom absolutely would. Are you afraid of falling in love? I'm terrified of it. Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? I wish I didn't. Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? Yes: Tyler. Did you get kissed last night? Haven't been kissed in years. Do you enjoy going through a carwash? Bring out the rainbow soap and it's hype lmao. How did you get most of your scars? My cat, ha ha. He sometimes plays way too rough, and I just scar very easily. Ever had to take an inkblot test? Yes, when I went to a psychologist. Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? Maybe? Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? My sister as a kid on her arm. Safe to say I got in trouble for it. What/who woke you up this morning? Just my body. Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? Mom. What’s one of your locked text messages? da;lsd;fakwer I have one locked from Sara that says something like, "You are so beautiful." I cried. Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I think? Jason and I used to play the digital one you could download on the PS3. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. I mean, I know of a girl who went to my school who was paralyzed from the waist down in an accident, but I didn't/don't know her personally. She was a MASSIVE deal in my education community. Like you would see "prayers for (name)" on school and church signs. The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? Usually true. I sometimes think back on the one time Jason was drunk, and he just told me in the most adoring voice, "I love you, Brittany." It's painful as fuck to remember. I really do wonder if he meant it, given this was in the later half of our relationship. When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? Constantly. How about feeling disappointed in someone else? I dunno. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? I definitely experience envy more often. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? I'm supposed to empty the dishwasher in particular. For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? Comfort, 100%. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? No. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I do. That sounds pretty good right about now. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Yeah, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Yeah, at SeaWorld as a kid. Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? Yeah. My little sister in particular was obsessed. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two. Are there a lot of trees in your yard? No. :/ I miss that. Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? No. Have a best friend? Yeah. :') Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? That is so childish. Everyone needs space sometimes. But to answer the question, considering she lives many states away from me, obviously not. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Yes. Does anyone hate you? I wouldn't at all be surprised if Jason does. Colleen might, but I really don't give a shit if she does. What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? The way I spoke to Jason after the breakup. If only I could take those letters back. Do you remember important dates? I am VERY bad at dates, doesn't matter how important they are. What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? "For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from a Mother Mother song. Who gives the best advice? Sara. Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) Jason is nearly a permanent fixture. Jeez, I'm bringing him up a lot in this one. I'm surprised my PTSD isn't dragging me into a pit for it. What type of cake did you last eat? Uhhh I wanna say double chocolate? Mom got two slices from the store for me and herself a long time ago. How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? A large number. I don't feel like counting. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? Just your usual peanut butter and jelly. When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? Years ago by Girt. I accepted. Do you like The Offspring? Sure, I like a handful of their songs. One pillow or two? I sleep with two. Do you like Mad Libs? Sure, they can be funny. Are you suicidal? Well damn, just throw that in there. Anyway, no. I'll admit I've had very brief, passive thoughts very rarely as of the late, just wondering if there really is a point to me being here, but I'm not actively suicidal at all rn. Where do your grandparents live? They're dead. When alive though, they lived in Florida and Michigan. Do you cut yourself? And this one? No, I haven't in many years. What is your pet’s name? Roman and Venus. Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I'd love to visit. Aren’t babies overrated? "Overrated" is definitely the wrong word... I don't particularly find a lot of babies cute and I don't want my own, but they're not overrated. Have a built-in pool in your backyard? Never have. Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? Yeah. Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? Yes. Ever been to a circus? No. I wouldn't set foot into one. Ever shot animals? I never, ever could. Do you consider yourself intelligent? I USED to. I think I'm dumb as shit now. School knowledge did not latch onto me well, I guess. Have you ever run away from home? Yes. It was so overdramatic. I came back hours later because I had my phone and Mom texted me threatening to call the cops. Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? I will never put my mental health behind anything/one again. What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? When Colleen and I were friends in middle school, we both spoke before the class in absolute disgust at how our classmates were treating our poor substitute teacher. Colleen had AT them, while I was more tame about it but still wanted to bash into their heads that they were all being absolute trash to the poor man. What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? My mental wellbeing. Granted, I'm not exactly "well" now, but once upon a time I was living in the deepest ocean trench as far as depression goes. Are you satisfied with your body image? Hell no. I really, really, really hope loyally going to the gym will help me with that. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I know of. Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? No. Have you ever been seriously ill? Mentally, immensely. Physically, not really. I've had some nasty stomach bugs, but nothing truly severe. Have you ever befriended a former enemy? Ha, it's funny, I used to hate Jason's first ex/heartbreak for how badly she hurt him. Like she could've been falling off the face of the earth with only me to save her, and I'd let her keep falling. I hated her. Yet now we're Facebook friends and comment on each other's stuff like it's nothing, ha ha. She reached out to me a few years ago to apologize for high school stuff (she also hated me for Juan - her ex or something along those lines - being interested in me instead of her), we chatted a bit, and now I think she's great. If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I don't pray anymore. That's all I'll say to keep this from becoming potentially very offensive. Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? I'm pretty sure my middle school boyfriend Aaron is gay, but I'm not certain. He vanished from Facebook a long time ago. Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? I tried doing that the night of the breakup. By car, I know it was a seven-minute drive, but walking there, never mind at night, was ludicrous. I only didn't manage because after a few minutes, Mom came after me and kept cutting me off with the car. When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? Right now. My abs REALLY hurt, and I'm also cramping like a motherfucker after not having a period for 3+ months because of TMS therapy. I'm still pissed about how it had a physical effect on me, but didn't mentally do what it was meant to. Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? She is very, very loving and lives to help others. Who have you been talking to the most today? Nobody, really. I've spoken with Mom obviously, but for the most part, today's been quiet. Are you nosy? I can be pretty damn nosy, yes. What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? Consistently flirted with her boyfriend behind her back. I was 12, okay? If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? THE ex, I have no idea. I don't know what's going on in his life, besides his mother dying quite a few months ago, but I don't see why he'd contact me about that. Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? Jason. Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? No, but I think I do.

[ryttu3k]

Part 2 of my season 12 reaction posts! Find part 1 (Resolution of the Daleks to Fugitive of the Judoon) here!

Praxeus

Thoughts on Doctor Who - Praxeus!

OKAY FIRST. THANK YOU, SHOW, FOR FIXING A BIG ISSUE I HAD WITH THE FIRST SEASON. So they were doing a thing where they’d introduce incidentally queer characters, have a female character mention her wife, stuff like that, only for them to die. This episode had Jake and Adam, married/separated/it’s complicated couple, who face huge amounts of danger, who both come close to dying, but who survive! And have a Big Damn Kiss! And walk off together holding hands! They survived!!

Plotwise, I enjoyed it a ton while watching, although in retrospect it did feel a bit free of danger. The companions were never in true peril because the Doctor can home in on them automatically, and we never got the true scale of the risk of infection, since the only people we saw get infected were in isolated areas. I would have liked to see, for instance, the threat of Praxeus spreading beyond just the very Hitchcockian birds; all of the peril was on an individual level.

Good message, if unsubtle. Mind you, that’s kind of Doctor Who’s thing, and it pisses off conservatives, so all for it, really XD (They must have loved the core relationship in this episode, too!) Like. Subtle doesn’t work. There are literally climate change deniers that exist. Sometimes you actually do have to tell a message with all the finesse of a sledgehammer because .

(Side note, I was deeply concerned when I saw the cowriter was the guy who did the hot mess that was Kerblam!, so at least this was just an unsubtle and kind of questionably written story instead of an actively harmful one.)

The companions: Ryan seems a fair bit more confident on his own? His initial scenes with Gabriela showed that he’s starting to work well even without backup, and picking up the bird proved to be a damn good call. Yaz and Graham were a fun pair, and Yaz got a lot to do when she and Gabriela (again!) got to explore, and I can definitely understand the conflict between curiosity/doing what’s right and safety when it came to the teleport scene. She does seem to be bordering on the reckless. Intriguing!

Minor plot snag - Graham knows how to set up an IV, presumably because of the shitload of time he spent in hospital! …And yet he doesn’t know what a pathogen is?

Friend note!

“fun fact about graham seemingly not knowing what a pathogen is! in my reading of the scene, i saw it as graham knowing what one was. with "Well, I’m glad you asked that…!” he seems like he’s actually sort of pleased with himself, like he’s about to launch into an explanation, and then IIRC there’s a very brief shot at Ryan giving him a Look and Graham immediately changes tone to “…cause I didn’t want to look stupid.” he immediately changes from boosting his own ego to bolstering ryans and im love"

In which case, good shit gooood shit.

SFX - the infection was creepy as shit. The very obviously puppet bird near the lab was hilariously bad.

Apparently the filming was tricky because it was super windy so all the shorts of Thirteen with her hair Like That weren’t planned, it just kind of happened. Love a fluffy ruffled Thirteen.

So anyway. People calling for more plot focus - literally this is the Doctor trying to distract herself and not focus on the plot! This is her avoidance tactic! Emotional honesty? Who’s she? She’ll get back to it eventually, but for now she needs a distraction after being punched in the emotions. Give her that for one episode, c'mon.

Ryan: “…I do a lot of running.”

Graham: “Whatever is giving off those weird readings… is on the other side of that wall!” Yaz: *silently turns scanner around* Graham, not skipping a beat: “…is on the other side of that door!”

Yaz: “I don’t want you to panic, but… we followed one of those things through a teleport and now I think we’re on an alien planet.” Thirteen: “…well, you don’t do things by halves!”

Thirteen: “That’s why you smell of dead bird! I thought you’d changed your shower gel.”

Thirteen: “I’m having half a thought. Ooh, this one tickles!”

Thirteen: “What can I say? I’m a romantic~”

In conclusion, Doctor Who said gay rights.

-

Can You Hear Me?

Thoughts on Doctor Who - Can You Hear Me?

Trigger warning for discussion of depression and suicide.

You know you're in for a wild ride when iView warns for horror themes instead of science fiction themes.

Overall: at first impression, it felt sort of mashed together? There's 14th century Aleppo, and there's 21st century Sheffield, and there's a deep space station, and there's creepy monsters and dream villains; I do kind of wonder why Zellin targeted a random girl in Aleppo as source for his pet monster, although targeting people like Ryan's best friend makes sense if he's deliberately trying to lure the Doctor to him.

The theme, on the other hand, of mental health resiliance and reaching out, was done incredibly well. Oh yeah there'll be more comments about it - the Guardian described it as 'adventures in Wokeness' - but damn, sometimes you need to hear it. I loved getting more of Yaz' backstory, about being a desperate teenage runaway at the point of being suicidal, and her reunion with the older woman legitimately made me tear up.

But like, goddamn. Her nightmare - she's still hearing that. She's still hearing her sister saying that she should "do it right this time" and that this time she won't call and that no one is coming and holy fuck. God this makes so many of Yaz' scenes incredibly painful in retrospect, knowing that she was at that point only three years before and that she's still dreaming that shit! It makes her recklessness terrifying!

Ryan's nightmare, and his experience with Tibo - it's quite reflective of the Doctor, too. She wasn't there, and Gallifrey burnt. And Ryan is realising this now, and really thinking about the potential future in Orphan 55. I think this is absolutely foreshadowing Ryan leaving at the end of the season (there's been a lot of speculation given Tosin's new TV role), and I think Ryan and Yaz' discussion at the end of the episode was a definite hint in the direction of Ryan choosing to going back to Earth.

Would have really liked Graham, during his talk with the Doctor, to gently remind her that she can talk about her own problems, although I can understand the narrative choice on why she didn't (although, yeah, would have been good for Graham to ask). Because, yeah, if anyone needs a sympathetic ear (...sans fingers) or a shoulder to lean on, it's her!! The entire theme of this episode was like... reaching out. Conquering your fears with the help of others. Sharing your fears to lessen them. Getting help. And the Doctor deliberately... not doing that makes it into an actual Thing that I think is going to seriously be addressed by the end of the season.

It's been such an ongoing theme. A bunch of episodes have started with an obviously depressed Doctor. The Fam has tried to raise the issue multiple times and have discussed it amongst themselves even more. Scenes like Yaz' reaction after being abducted in Spyfall (...which makes her, "I thought I was dead" part even more worrying) and being comforted by Ryan, not the Doctor... her whole reaction to Graham being like, "I'm glad you talked to me but I literally can't do the same in return" - if it's not addressed by the end of this season, it's at least going to have to be an ongoing theme, because it's becoming very deliberate now.

An interesting note: the actor who played Zellin (an immortal manipulator of nightmares) also voiced the Remnants (who were the first to mention the Timeless Child in The Ghost Monument). Coincidence or deliberate?

Assorted thoughts:

"I'm still quite socially awkward." There's socially awkward and there's emotionally repressed... (I saw a description of it on Tumblr as 'weaponised dissociation' and... yeah. And also yikes.) Also the way she was so closed in on herself, basically hugging her arms to her body! On a semi-related note, talking to herself in Aleppo was a bit depressing. Like it's continuing the theme of The Doctor Does Not Like Being Alone.

The finger thing - ew ew ew ew it's in their EARS ewww D:

Stylistic comment: the traditionally-styled animation for the Immortals' game was gorgeous.

"Try not freak out, yeah, but you're on a floating space platform trapped in a gravitational pull between two colliding planets."

"Thanks for lending a helping hand!" Companions just being, "...Doctor p l s."

On an old lore note, loved the callback to Eternals, Guardians, and the Toymaker! On a concerning note, man, the Doctor has so many issues with immortals. They abandoned Jack, there was the punishment they gave the Family of Blood, they had those Issues with Ashildr (from what I've read), now this, an eternal punishment with no chance of redemption, perhaps because she knows what immortality does? Parallels with the Doctor as quasi-immortal too, which Zellin even pointed out.

"You're wrong about humans. They're not pathetic. They're magnificent. They live with their fears, doubts, guilt. They face them down everyday and they prevail. That's not weakness. That's strength. That's what humanity is."

(Contrast: "That's what humanity is." The Doctor isn't human. She's not prevailing against her fears, doubts, and guilt.)

In conclusion, literally everyone but the creepy immortals needs a hug.

-

The Haunting of Villa Diodati

Thoughts on Doctor Who - The Haunting Of Villa Diodati!

tfw you think you're just going to get a nice spoopy historical and instead get major plot?

Overall impression: Well, Jack is going to be pretty miffed, given that the Doctor had to do precisely what he didn't want to happen - giving the Lone Cyberman what it wanted. To save Shelley, and also to save the future, although that does bring up the question on if the death of one person can rewrite the future, why doesn't that apply to literally everyone? Fletcher the valet and Elise the nurse died too, do their deaths have the same impact? Either way, the Doctor takes the Cyberium for herself - then realises that the Cybermen are inevitable, and returns it. And now she's trying to go and stop them. So... a bit conflicting in the message there, I think.

Yeah. Bit of a Trolley Problem there.

The characters were really fun. I did enjoy seeing Mary's sense of morbidness, but also her kindness and sympathy towards the Cyberman; you can see the foundations of Frankenstein there. I'm seeing some criticism of how Byron was portrayed as a coward, but eh. Nice little callback to Ada. Also I love how one of the rules was 'no one snog Byron'. Put that dirty boy back, you don't know where he's been! Glad Claire realised that too, although historically, she was already pregnant with his daughter at that point (and that didn't go well at all)... Either way. Good display of all these bright young reckless things.

(And yes, they were young. Byron was the eldest at 28. Shelley was 23, Polidori was 20, Mary and Claire were just 18. And while Claire lived to 80 and Mary to her 50s, the three men all died young, too - Byron at 36, Shelley at 29 - yes, from drowning, Polidori at just 25. Also wasn't mentioned that Polidori also created something on that Dark And Stormy Night along with Mary's Frankenstein - he wrote The Vampyre, the first modern vampire story!)

The Lone Cyberman (and I am deliberately using that instead of 'Ashad') - creepy as shit. Not just the whole Frankenstein look, but the way he acted! Not emotionless and blank, but actively manipulative and sadistic! Mary showed empathy and he actively threw it back in her face! I mean, yikes.

House was terrific and also spooky as hell. (Am lowkey miffed that no one went "VIBE CHECK!") The jumbled layout was quite Castrovalva, and I actually really dig that Graham got to see some actual ghosts. Ghostly sandwiches!

I think we got actual confirmation here that Yaz does have feelings for the Doctor? (Bleeding Cool News is pretty sure that it was for Ryan, but... lmao no.) BBCA twitter certainly thinks so!

Claire: "His answers only increase the enigma." Yaz: "I know someone like that." Claire: "This enigmatic person of yours... would you trade them for reliable and dull?" Yaz: "My person's a bit different..."

I MEAN.

(It got deleted. So. There is that.)

Thirteen: "Hmm. Fourteenth... no. Fifteenth century... touch more umami." (Doctor, have you been playing Detroit: Become Human again?)

Mary: "I don't think they're really from the colonies!" Byron: "No, she... is from somewhere much, much stranger." Polidori: "The North."

Thirteen: "YOU HAD ONE JOB."

Cyberman: "You appear courageous. But your vital signs betray a heightened state of anxiety." Thirteen: "Or as I like to call it... Tuesday."

Thirteen: "Yeah, 'cause sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me at the summit, in the stratosphere, alone. Left to choose. Save the poet, save the universe. Watch people burn now, or tomorrow. Sometimes even I can't win."

Claire: "You pursued Mrs Doctor without a care for my presence, belittled my thoughts and opinions... and then proceeded to use my person as a human shield." Byron: "...And?" Claire: "And the spell is broken... my lord." Polidori's face: "haha you fucked up dude"

Next week: Shit Hits The Fan.

-

Ascension of the Cybermen

In lieu of a proper post for Ascension of the Cybermen, here are a list of questions we need an answer for.

Will Graham and Yaz survive, on a giant carrier full of Cybermen?

Who is Brendan, and what is his relevance to the story?

What is the Boundary?

How is Gallifrey in the Boundary?

How was the Master in Gallifrey, and not trapped by the Kasaavin?

Who is Ko Sharmus and why am I getting Yana vibes?

Who is Ashad and what is his story? (And why is his theme such a literal banger?)

Is he an actual Cyberman? Because I'm totally getting this impression he's human in armour?

How did Brendan survive being shot, and why did his non-ageing father and mentor do that?

Why did it look like a chameleon arch?

Is Ethan's tech-savvy just warzone familiarity or something more sinister?

Are there any other large human populations left?

Was I detecting a hint of romantic tension between Graham and Ravio?

What's up with Yaz?

Why did the Cyberium get sent to that time period?

Who or what is this alliance Jack is a part of?

How do the Time Lords and the lie of the Timeless Child come into it?

WHO THE FUCK IS BRENDAN?

-

The Timeless Children

WELL THEN.

While I gather proper thoughts on The Timeless Children, here are the questions I had from Ascension of the Cybermen, now with answers!

Will Graham and Yaz survive, on a giant carrier full of Cybermen?

Yup! Disguises for the win!

Who is Brendan, and what is his relevance to the story?

Brendan is a filtered overlay memory of one of the Doctor's former lives.

What is the Boundary?

An anomaly, as far as I can tell.

How is Gallifrey in the Boundary?

No idea!

How was the Master in Gallifrey, and not trapped by the Kasaavin?

No idea!

Who is Ko Sharmus and why am I getting Yana vibes?

A big damn hero.

Who is Ashad and what is his story? (And why is his theme such a literal banger?)

We're still not actually sure. Either way, he's an action figure now.

Is he an actual Cyberman? Because I'm totally getting this impression he's human in armour?

Yeah, sort of.

How did Brendan survive being shot, and why did his non-ageing father and mentor do that?

Because Time Lords.

Why did it look like a chameleon arch?

It's probably related technology! If the chameleon arch rewrites memories, this one just wipes them.

Is Ethan's tech-savvy just warzone familiarity or something more sinister?

Just warzone familiarity. Poor li'l bean.

Are there any other large human populations left?

Possibly! If the Boundary really did send them to random places, there still could be surviving pockets elsewhere in the universe.

Was I detecting a hint of romantic tension between Graham and Ravio?

Maybe a bit XD And now they're all on Earth, who knows?

What's up with Yaz?

Who knows?

Why did the Cyberium get sent to that time period?

Ko Sharmus sent it. Didn't send it far enough.

Who or what is this alliance Jack is a part of?

Same organisation Ko Sharmus is part of. Also, young!Ko Sharmus/Jack please.

How do the Time Lords and the lie of the Timeless Child come into it?

In so many ways.

WHO THE FUCK IS BRENDAN?

The Doctor!

More thoughts later!

-

Thoughts on Doctor Who - The Timeless Children.

...Actually, first thought is the title. Timeless Children? Hmm.

Anyway. That is... sure a literally mind-blowing revelation for the Doctor, yes! Like, damn, the discovery that you're not even the species you thought you were, that your adoptive parent spent lifetimes abusing and experimenting on you, that your memories were routinely erased by people you thought you could trust (including your adoptive parent), that you're literally the progenitor for your entire species, that you've lost who knows how much time and who knows how many memories... yeah. Damn.

What's an appropriate birthday present for someone turning ten million?

Also, huh. Amidst all the old lore and casual mentions (like Borusa!) that got mentioned - were they taking hints from the Cartmel master plan? About the Doctor being some kind of founding figure for Gallifrey? Not exactly written as Cartmel had it, but that big main concept of the Doctor as a sort of... foundation piece of Time Lord culture was still actually there.

Brain of Morbius Doctors confirmed, I guess. I guess even Four was going, "...the fuck?"

Cybermen = still scary. Regenerating Cybermen = felt somehow obscene. Like, no, that's just fundamentally not right. Like the TARDIS responding to Jack by noping the fuck out kind of not right. God. And the Master was completely and utterly magnificently batshit, like, more than usual, come on, dude, you know they'd kill or convert you the second you turned your back.

Still. Deeply, deeply entertaining to watch just from a villain perspective, completely Chaotic, and like... I do understand where he was coming from? His entire life is a lie. His entire life is because of the Doctor, who, I think it's fair to say, he has Complicated Feelings regarding. (Their entire interaction this episode was a giant power play. Like damn guys just get into BDSM and leave the would-be genocide and universal takeover.)

Tecteun = Rassilon, I'm assuming. Goddamn. Like they were a pompous abusive asshole from the outset, this just kind of makes it worse. I also wonder if Rassilon chose the Master specifically to get the drums because he was friends with the Doctor? That actually may have been something the Master worked out himself, too. I mean, I'd be pissed off as well :-\

Also, how many people know about this? I assume Gat knew, since she was implied to be responsible for the mind wipes, but was it like... a super tightly-held secret or was it something a lot of higher-ups knew? Because that's fucked up tbh

Thought on the Master. Okay, he's hugely furious that he's been lied to, that the entire origin of his people is based on a lie, that his greatest friendrivalloveenemy is incredibly special and that a part of her is in him and not in the fun way, but like... I'm also wondering if he's looking at the Time Lords, the way they turned him into their puppet, how they drove him insane for their own purposes, then looked at the Doctor - someone who has also been used, abused, experimented on, manipulated, controlled, and went, "No. This is an injustice and the Time Lords need to be punished for it."

Oh, saw a nice theory regarding the TARDISes - Ruth!Doctor had the original busted police box TARDIS. When she was eventually taken in to be mind-erased, they sent the TARDIS off to storage to be eventually repaired. The Doctor manages to steal that one, goes to Earth, and it immediately gets stuck again because it's still broken. Explains how Ruth!Doctor can have the police box while also being pre-everything.

I really want the Doctor and Jack to sit down and have a nice chat about being timeless undying constants of the universe. Also for Jack to get one of the spare TARDISes around. Be kinda funny if he got the Master's old one, given the Year That Never Was, but it really is just sitting there. (Poor TARDIS stuck as a tree on a random wartorn planet in the far future, though!)

Also, Jodie was fucking magnificent in this episode. The hurt, the absolute fury, the almost glee when she's telling the Master he can't break her, her refusal to press the button at the end (so much like Nine's "coward or killer?" moment!)... just... so good.

Beautiful post I saw here on Tumblr - the Doctor as the Timeless Child, making the choice to help.

Amazing post here on Tumblr about abuse and repressed memories. Even if the Doctor doesn't remember it all, the abuse they underwent at the hands of a beloved parent figure still informs a hell of a lot of their behaviour, but it doesn't define them. The Doctor's need to run = informed by abuse. The Doctor's desire to help crying children = informed by abuse. The Doctor being an inherently good person = being their own person, no matter what their upbringing, no matter what their past was. They made the choice to be the Doctor, and that's a hell of an important thing.

Extremely painful post I saw on Tumblr about the Doctor being 'hip with the kids' by calling her companions her Fam but hell if they're not more family to her than her actual adoptive mother ow my heart.

Also, the scene between Yaz and Graham was so sweet <3 I do want to see Yaz, at some point, admit that sometimes she's so terrified she can barely move, and to tell him what she came so close to doing when she was sixteen, and Graham to just go, "Yeah, but you keep going." Also I'm trying not to think about how Yaz would respond to the Doctor going off on a suicide mission when Yaz was suicidal just three years earlier because ow my heart. She knows that Ko Sharmus went after her, she knows the Doctor might be alive, but either way, she's just seen someone she loves leave with the intention of dying (and Ko Sharmus too, actually). Someone please give her a hug. Actually please just let the Fam have a big group hug in general.

"Have you ever been limited by who you were before?" "Huh. Now that does sound like me talking."

So, remaining questions to be answered next season!

What actually is the Doctor? Since they were found near the Boundary, they could be from anywhere. It's fair to say they now are recognised genetically as a Time Lord, but what were they originally, why were they abandoned in the first place, and are there any more of their original people out there?

How do the Remnants know about the Timeless Child, or were they just picking up on that unconscious knowledge from the Doctor's own mind?

Like... we're generally under agreement that the Master, the eternal cockroach, survived, right? Despite definitely being lowkey suicidal like oh, was hoping the Death Particle would kill me? Like the Death Particle was made by the Cyberium, it could have gone, "Nah, keeping this one."

What's going on with the Kasaavin? Remember them? Still out there, stationed all through time and space? And are we going to see Daniel Barton again?

Is something going on with Yaz?

Will the Fam stay on? (I personally think Ryan will elect to stay on Earth to account for Tosin Cole's new TV role, and if Graham and Ravio enter a relationship, he might too.)

When will we see Jack again? If he was connected to the Lone Cyberman arc, that seems... pretty conclusively finished, unless we're going to learn more about it?

Is it Christmas yet?

............so the Christmas/NY special is going to start with Jack using his vortex manipulator to bust the Doctor out of prison and get back to the Fam and it'll never be mentioned again, right.

"At least buy me diNNER!!"

[cloudcover23]

Two Princes Season 3 Episode 3 Reactions:

< Episode 2

Scottish dude recap! I love these.

Ooh! Joan's dad's name is Brutus? Did we already know that?

Lol, Percy had a tantrum - he really did

"you're probably binging…" lol he knows, but keep recapping Scottish dude!

Lol! Amir giving Wence a bath… he's the one babysitting? I love it.

Lol, goat in the tub - I'm sure he needed a wash too

How old is Wence again? Is he not old enough to bathe himself? Also, Amir's practically a stranger to him… it was Rupert who met him last season… I know everything is okay, but some alarms went off in my head and I got taken out of the story for a bit there…

Omg Amir really knows how to talk to kids… Is Wence's super power that he makes grownups so frustrated that they start insulting him? Or is that how KCS thinks adults talk to kids?

Okay they said he's 6… wasn't he 7.5 last season (double checked! He said he was seven and a half last season after Rupert guessed 6)

Amir is the one tantruming now.

Rupert is the voice of reason.

It's okay Amir, parenting is a marathon, you gotta choose your battles. Goat in the tub can be a battle you don't choose today. That's okay.

The world is ending and there's a lot of shit I don't want to do anymore either.

I hate it when adults are dismissive of kids. You don't have to believe him, but don't make him feel wrong for being afraid.

Rupert knows what it's like to be dismissed.

Awwe! Amir's like "Be kind to people. I was unkind to this guy in the woods once… that was a mistake and I've learned from it."

SONG

Ooh! Backstory!? We DO get to hear about Rupert as a kid?! Yes!!

Mr. Mischief! Yes!

Awe this is a really cute little song.

Amir backstory!

Lol, he was NOT rebellious. DO you think going to the forest was his first rebellious act?

You know, I don't know about this message that normal kid testing, boundary pushing, and shenanigans = you're a "bad guy". Sounds like pretty normal developmental stuff to me.

Lumpy porridge! Not to be confused with lumpy Porridge.

Wence is like these guys are singing to me and won't leave me alone.

I see Rumir playing the guitar together, harmoniously singing while chasing Wence around the castle.

Geeet the heeeeck in the baaaaath! It's the next Morgan Freedman kid's story.

Hit that high note!

They're all a bunch of weirdos.

They once splashed as a couple, now they splash as a family

SO DOMESTIC I LOVE IT

So much background noise!

What's the name of the guy Chamberlain is talking to? Did he say "Footman"? "Freedman?" I was just thinking about Morgan Freedman…

SCOTTISH DUDE You're here too!

Maybe they have Covid 19

Barabbas!

They know each other!

They have a history…

RONNIE?????

Hironimus????

What is happening???

COUPLE!?!??!!!!

Chamberlain had a bad-boy phase!

Sword draw! Chamberlain can fight.

"Hmmph!"

ALMOST MARRIED?????!!!!!!!

What just happened? Okay so I am totally going back to my hc that Barabbas is an older dude, despite the canon art for him. I LOVE IT! Omg! Yes!

Wence takes naps? Even if he's 6 and not 7.5… that's pretty old for naps. Amir, did Wence tell you he takes a nap so that you'll leave him alone and stop singing to him? Yah, sorry guys - he and his goat scaled the walls and are out causing mischief somewhere.

Rupert wants kids!!

Yes! Let's talk about this!

Good to have this convo before you get married boys.

Amir gave him piggyback rides!

Amir sounds like Chad… Wence brings out the playfulness in him

Amir wants to wait for everything. Wedding: years! Kids: MANY YEARS! Don't get me wrong, I agree Amir.

Where those moms at?

Try not to miss me. I always do. I LOVE THEM

Porridge is a sneaky dragon who likes to steal and hoard sweets! Instead of sitting on a pile of gold he sits on a pile of fun-sized candy bars.

Mysterious violin…

Oh no PD.

Rupert! Don't feed his ego!

I don't trust his melancholy tone. Isn't he supposed to be eternally happy or something?

Play your tiny violin and leave Rupert alone! Rupert's not falling for your sob story!

Yah, who's watching your kingdom? Huh?

Don't try and convince Rupert that kingdoms run themselves just so you can argue it's okay for him to shirk his duties and run off with you!

Yah, Rupert's not buying it.

His story doesn't add up.

Rupert's the king of making up stories, so he can see right through yours Prince Darling!

Don't fall for his sob story Rupert!!

No! He's hitting on Rupert again.

"kidding" sure…

Why is he so invested in theif love triumphing? He sounds pretty sincere. Is it going to bring about some horrible magic thing as soon as they say "I do"? If he's actually invested now (which he sounds like he is, but probably for nefarious reasons) why was he wanting them to not be together at the beginning??

I am so confused.

Rupert groaning after he leaves… good! He was just being polite!

Ominous!! Is the music part of his magic? Is that why he's making everyone sing?

Background noise!

Gross swallowing noise.

Ew. Grosser: Joan's dad.

Cecily?!

Stand up to him Cecily.

Omg this is so hard to listen to. Thanksgiving dinner convo vibes.

"Unnatural" I hate this.

Oh, Cecily, make no mistake - it been done before.

OOOH She's talking about Joan being a KNIGHT! Oh, well, maybe that is something that hasn't happened before?

OMG Cecily song!!

That synth! That drum machine!

WHAT I LOVE THIS

Bongos!

Get over it!

Cecily be like "okay Boomer"

"on boxes"? Like their picture on missing person's milk boxes?

Soap boxes?? Is this a reference I don't get?

Oh good, it's not supposed to make sense.

YES!

Step on his face (on your way to sitting on his daughters. What? Did I just say that? This is a family show!)

Mike Drop!

You rocked my world Cecily.

Gotta memorize this song before the holidays. Keep some of those lines in my back pocket.

"Cecily babe!" Omg Percy and Cecily's interactions… They’re perfect for each other. Not necessarily in a romantic context, but definite BFF material.

Joan got that spider sense.

Ahh! The scary noise!

"Name of Guinevere!" (wow, is that really how you spell that name?)

Ahh! The laughter seriously freaks me out!

Sir Roderic! Sir Darius!

Gah! What is with all the cowardly knights in this universe?

They got SNATCHED!!

"What. The Heck. Just happened?" Percy quoting Cecily from s1. I see you boy

Percy! No!

Percy has grown SO MUCH! Admitting that someone else is better than him.

Percy! So brave!

Hiyah!

NO PERCY!!!!

WHATTT

HE GOT SNATCHEEEDDDD

PERCYYYY!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Mournful sound.

Hey the credits songs are changing!

Hold up. There's a bunch of sound effects after the credits

It's the animal brothers taking a bath together!

Episode 4 >

[lovemesomesurveys]

What would you tell to your eighth grade self? Keep the friends you have. Also, stop hair spraying your bangs and making them stiff--it’s not cute.

What did your last text message read? “Thnx, and yes I got his text.” --My Nana.

Something you really want right now? Coffee and food.

Will you regret your next kiss? Uh, I hope not? Who knows when that will even be, though.

Do you like how things are going? No.

Are you a cuddler? Not really to be honest.

What are you doing tonight? Same stuff as always. My aunt ended up staying another night, but I think she’s going home tonight.

Three months ago, can you remember who you liked? I wasn’t interested in anyone 3 months ago. It’s been a few years, actually.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. We never were.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? I mean, I certainly didn’t envision wasting away after graduating college almost 6 years ago now.

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? No.

What color was the last pill you took? White.

Do you believe “drunken words are sober thoughts”? Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just nonsense.

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? My aunt. We’ve had a lot of deep conversations these past few days that she’s been staying with us. She and I are very close and she’s someone who easily opens up and shares a lot. I’m definitely more of the listener, but still.

Have you hung out with any guys recently? My brother.

How tall are you? About 5′4.

Who will you be with this Friday? Today is Friday and I’ll be with my family. As of now, my aunt is here as well but I think she’s going home tonight.

Last time you laughed really hard? I’ve laughed a lot these past few days with my aunt. More so than I have in awhile.

What are you currently listening to? Myself typing and my TV.

Who was the last person you had a face to face conversation with, apart from family? My doctor.

Have you ever wasted too much time on a guy/girl? I don’t consider it time wasted despite things not working out. What are you looking forward to? Right now, I’m thinking about eating lol. 

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope.

A lyric from the song you’re listening to? I’m not listening to music.

What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? We last bickered a bit about some stuff I was being stubborn about and should have been doing regarding health related things but I wasn’t. 

Would you tattoo someone’s name on your body? No.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? Yes.

Do you bite your nails? I don’t bite them, but I pick them and use nail clippers constantly. 

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Zero.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, not at all. 

How do you feel about your hair right now? Ugh. It’s a mess and in serious need of a dye job.

Whose hoodie did you wear last? My own.

Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? Nah.

Whose birthday is coming up? My brother’s was yesterday. Next up is my dad’s next month.

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I tried to be, but I couldn’t.

The doctors just told you that you are pregnant - what’s your first thought? They clearly mixed me up with someone else cause that’s impossible. There’s zero chance.

Who was the last person you hugged? My aunt.

Do you have any saved texts? all of my texts save unless i delete them. <<< Yeah, the phone just keeps them. I’ve never deleted any.

Anything you want to tell someone but can’t? Meh.

What’s the last thing you drank? Water.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? I don’t have friends.

Do you like pulp orange juice? I don’t like orange juice at all. Or any juice.

Do you prefer the tanning bed or sun? I don’t go tanning, but I’d just try to get one from the sun if I wanted to. I do get a tan whenever I go to the beach since I actually spend a significant amount of time outside when I go. That’s the only time.

Who was the last person you talked to last night? My aunt.

When was the last time you cried? About a week ago.

Where are your siblings? My younger brother is at work and I’m assuming my older brother is at home.

What about your mom and dad? My mom is here at home and my dad is at work.

Can you go in public looking like you do? Ew, no.

Would your parents care if you came home at 4am? No; I’m 31 years old. They’d be concerned, though. Especially since I never go anywhere or hang out with anyone anymore. If I was out that late it would definitely be unusual. However, I would have checked in to let let them know cause that’s how we are in my family.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? No.

What will you be doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

What’d you have for dinner last night? I had Wingstop. 

Did you eat all of it? No, but a lot of it.

What temperature is it outside right now? 48F.

What color’s your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I’ve been dyeing it red. However, I’m a year overdo so my roots are quite overgrown and it’s like half and half now. :X

Do you like flowers? Sure.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up? Checked the time.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? It was likely tequila. I haven’t drank in 8 years, so I don’t really remember.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yes. 

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I’m sad I didn’t get to see Linkin Park with Chester. :(

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? Hmm. It’s been awhile, actually.

What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? I didn’t buy them, they were a gift, but they’re black.

How many people do you live with? Are these people related to you? 3 and yes, they’re my parents and brother.

Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? I’m not confident at all.

Do you wash your own clothes? No, I need help with that so my mom does it.

Are you afraid of thunderstorms? No, I like them.

What type of soups do you like? I’m a ramen gal, but broccoli and cheddar soup is pretty good.

Would you go 2 days without eating for $200? I’ve gone a day without eating and a couple or so days with very little food because I was sick or having appetite issues, which I have a lot. If I was feeling like that I could do it. But there’s times my body feels like it’s starving and acts all dramatic even if it hasn’t been long since I last ate, so in that case it would be really hard to do.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Not that I know of.

Can you cook? I can make a good bowl of ramen, ha.

Have you dated the person you texted last? Uh, no. That’s my Nana...

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? I’ve gone almost 10 years since the last time and when I did do it it wasn’t a regular thing, so yeah I think I could. I haven’t had any desire to do it.

When’s the last time someone made you feel like you mattered? My family does that.

Do graveyards thrill or terrify you? Neither.

What’s the next thing you have to do that you’re dreading? My next doctor appointment.

Do you ever wear polos? No.

Do you look pretty today? No. Not today or any day. 

Are you going out of town soon? No.

Who was the last person to make you mad? My doctor.

Do you have nightmares often? No, thankfully.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope.

Will you be in a relationship in 50 days? No. 

What happened last time you got drunk? I got really drunk and then threw up on myself in front of my friends and it was super embarrassing. My best friend at the time thankfully helped me clean up, but still. Ugh, it was awful. I was so sick that whole night and felt like shit the next day. I don’t know what happened that night because I honestly don’t remember drinking that much. I don’t know if I had a bad interaction with my medicine or what I did drink was really strong. I was completely turned off to alcohol after that, though, and haven’t drank since.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yeah, I don’t share drinks or food. Like, I’ll break off/cut/pour out what I’m eating and share that way, but I don’t let people bite off my food or use my utensil and vice versa. 

Do you want to know the date of your death? Absolutely not.

Do you miss the way things used to be? I miss the way a lot of things used to be.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many times.

Do you like being called babe? Not really.

Is the last person you kissed more than 2 years older than you? No, he’s a year younger than me.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings, no. 

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you? No.

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you? Yes.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. I don’t see that happening anytime soon at all.

Were you happier 7 months ago or now? Neither then or now. 

Have you ever just felt like you could cry an ocean? Yeppp.

Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes. I don’t plan on getting married, but even IF I did I would still want to see how things go living together first.

Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? My best friend is my mom, who is with my dad.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox? Mostly from my parents, especially my mom, but some from my brother, some from my Nana, some from my aunt, and some old ones from one of my cousins.

What time did you wake up today? I first fell asleep around 3AM, woke up at 530AM for a bit, fell asleep until like 730ish, and then fell asleep again until like 9 and I’ve been up ever since (it’s 10:27AM now). Sighhhh. I hate when I get up off and on like every hour or so  like that and hardly get any sleep at all. I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep. :(

Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? Most definitely. I’ve changed a lot and not in a good way. 

What were you doing at 4 am? Sleeping.

Do you reply to all of your texts? No, not all. It depends on the text. Not all need a reply or I just didn’t for whatever reason.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Bananas or chocolate.

What were you doing before you got on the computer? Sleeping.

What is the last thing you said out loud? Something to my aunt last night.

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back? Forward.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? Hand over the cash, please!

How bad are your hangovers? I had a few bad ones. The worst was definitely after the time I talked about earlier. 

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? I’m fine with it during the day, but I wouldn’t be at night.

Do you have any bruises on you? I don’t think so.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I don’t know.

Is there anything in your room that reminds you of the past memories? Uh, yeah. Like everything.

How do you respond to being nervous? I get very fidgety and squirmy and anxious. I mess with my nails, I bite my lips, I play with my hair, twiddle my thumbs. My heart rate goes up. I have a hard time breathing. My stomach feels like its in knots. I sweat. ...not a fun time.

Who is the most recent addition to your contacts? I don’t even recall the last time I added a new contact.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? My mom has a purple heart.

Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor.

Have you ever thrown a cell phone in anger? No.

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you? I’m not wearing one.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Haaaa, no.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with an A? Nope.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk about? My mom when she called the other day to see if I wanted her to stop by somewhere on her way home to get me something to eat.

Do you have tan lines? No.

How are you feeling? Right now I’m tired and hungry. I also feel kind of sick cause I took my medicine on an empty stomach, which bothers me more sometimes than others. Today seems to be one of those times. :/

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to ASMR and scrolled through Tumblr.

Ever feel like you’re not good enough? Many times. It’s been a constant feeling these past few years.

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? Yeah.

How many funerals have you been to? Three.

Movies or bowling? Movies.

At the beginning of September who were you "with"? I was single.

Is there a girl you can tell anything to? I could, yes.

What do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph.

Do you dye your hair? I get it done at the salon.

If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? I’d have to pay off my debt first and foremost.

Something you really want right now? I should drag myself outta bed and try to eat something.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with the person you like or best friend? My best friend, which is my mom.

What color shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a black sweatshirt.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip piercing? No.

Has anyone told you they were in love with you? My first boyfriend (and technically only).

Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit? Noooo. I have a hard time with even my own.

Name a time you thought you were going to die? During my last surgery my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and the doctors freaked out.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? No, not always.

Have you ever kissed a blue-eyed person? Yes.

[seasaltmemories]

Edelbert for the meme pls?

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? -they’re already ride or die before anything romantic takes place, I don’t see that changing

How quickly did/will they fall in love? -very much a slowburn for Edelgard, I think for Hubert he was just kinda hit with a mixture of different kind of loves when Edelgard was kidnapped, and as he grew older the more the romantic/sexual component grew

How was their first kiss? -awkward as hell

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Edelgard

Who is the best man/men? - Ferdinand and/or Byleth

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Dorothea and/or Byleth

Who did the most planning? - Hubert

Who stressed the most? - also Hubert

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. (They didn’t get legally married and more just made their plans to fuck off and retire in the country)

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? -anyone who wasn’t a former Black Eagle classmate

Sex:

Who is on top? - variety is the spice of life, but more often it is Edelgard

Who is the one to instigate things? - Edelgard

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? -I think they like to enjoy themselves but also know how to be efficient when they need to be

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Edelgard tries, but Hubert doesn’t really care that much about seeking his own pleasure

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 0, I think considering Edelgard’s health, pregnancy would be something greatly they try to avoid

How many children will they adopt? - Also don’t see them adopting bc I see them only officially together in retirement, but I’ll play along and say 1 protege they pick up

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? -Hubert

Who is the stricter parent? - I think they’re both strict but in different ways

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Hubert, this isn’t much new

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Hubert

Who is the more loved parent? -

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Edelgard when she wants to take advantage of her power with a little intimidation

Who cried the most at graduation? - a few tears escape Edelgard bc she never expected getting this far

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Hubert, but then you have to deal with him.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Hubert at first, but in retirement Edelgard picks up the slack

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I think game files show that Hubert is one of the most picky eaters in the game

Who does the grocery shopping? - Hubert

How often do they bake desserts? - Not often but in retirement sometimes Edelgard will experiment a bit

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - they’re both pretty flexible with either

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Hubert

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Edelgard probably wanting to treat Hubert and give him a rest

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - both of them are competent enough

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - they both but often Hubert gets to it first

Who is really against chores? - Neither they’re both responsible enough

Who cleans up after the pets? - Edelgard the cat is really hers so she takes care of it the most

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - maybe Edelgard when tired

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Hubert

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Hubert

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Edelgard

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - they don’t have a dog

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - not often

What are their goals for the relationship? - to take a break from duties and allow them this small happiness

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Neither they’re both early riser

Who plays the most pranks? - Edelgard has some teasing, like her impersonations

[purplesurveys]

1036

survey by tickticktmr

How many...

How many times have you skipped class? I skipped one day a year back in high school, and that cut was always for this day-long event that the school would arrange to serve as a break from academic classes; for example, for those days we had like themed classes like knitting and it was also usually a themed costume day. I didn’t see the point in it, so I always skipped.

I cut a lot of classes in college that it’s impossible to count because, welp, it’s college lol.

How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Hundreds.

How many years have you known your second closest friend? 10 years.

How many alarm clocks are in the house? We don’t have any alarm clocks, but we have alarms built into our phones. If those count, then we have five.

How many people have you argued with?  I don’t think I can count this. I’ve had arguments with various people ranging from mild bickering to full-blown fights.

How many times have you watched your favorite movie? I watched it every day for a certain period several years ago and I go back to it at least once every year. It’s probably been a little more than a hundred times.

How many people do you live with? Four, my parents and two siblings.

How many pairs of boots do you own? Zero.

How many people have told you they're in love with you? Just the one.

How many times have you cried over the opposite sex? A handful, but all have been in the non-romantic sense. I used to cry all the time when we’d drop my dad off at the airport, and I’ve cried over my grandpa’s and Nacho’s death as well.

How many people have been in your house at one time? Do you mean what’s the most number of people that’s stayed at our house at one given time? Not sure...maybe it was the time the entire executive board of my org came over for a meeting before the official start of the sem? It was only a little over 10 people, but then again my mom doesn’t appreciate too many visitors.

How many stuffed animals are in your room? There are a couple of plushies, but not anything bigger than that.

How many cellphones have you went through? Tons. I was my parents’ nightmare. I’ve gone through 8 so far.

How many pets do you have? We have two living ones, both dogs.

What would you do if...

What would you do if you could never listen to music again? I’d be really distraught over never being able to listen to my favorites anymore. Even if I don’t really listen to music when I’m depressed, i.e. now, I still like having the option to tune in when I feel like it. So even if it won’t be the end of the world, I’d still feel pretty damn lonely.

What would you do if your current bf/gf cheated on you? I don’t have one anymore but I’d be really puzzled and be betrayed if she had, given how much she hates cheaters and the act of cheating.

What would you do if you could never wear jeans again? Rejoice for the most part, but also be sad over mom jeans because they’re the only comfy kind of jeans and that’s the one type I genuinely enjoy wearing.

What would you do if your dad became president? Expect him to tap me for help almost immediately. I think he’d make a good leader considering he’s already one at his work, at least a far better one than my mom ever could be.

What would you do if you lost your most important possession? Right now that’s my laptop. If I lost that, I’d mostly be scared of the possibility of my parents whooping my ass; but at the same time my company just gave me a company laptop anyway so it’ll be easy to start over.

What would you do if your house burned down? Stop taking this survey, obviously. Then I’d grab my phone and Kimi, since he’s here with me in my room.

What would you do if your best friend didn't want to be friends anymore? I’d be devastated and start thinking if I’m the problem.

What would you do if you had to move do a different state/province? Thank fuck. I’d be relieved to have the chance to start from scratch, and I’d be all for it.

What would you do if someone shaved your head? Be furious, especially if they did it while I was asleep or otherwise unaware.

What would you do if Jesus came to your front door? Think that it’s probably an act and ask them to leave.

What would you do if your house was robbed? Check if my parents, sister, and dogs are unharmed.

What would you do if your sister/brother got married? Puzzled because 1) they are both single, 2) we are still in a pandemic and why would either of them want to get married right now, and 3) they are 20 and 17.

What would you do if dogs became extinct? Idk, be upset.

What would you do if the last person you kissed proposed to you? I’d be conflicted and a mix of emotions. I’m not sure I would take it well now, even if that’s all I wanted in the end.

Have you ever...

Have you ever broke a body part? I’ve mildly sprained an ankle, but I’ve never broken a bone or had an organ severely malfunction.

Have you ever broke someone else's body part? I don’t think so. 

Have you ever changed for a guy/girl? I’ve adjusted a lot. Idk about change.

Tried to jump on a celebrity but been stopped by the security guards? Kind of? Greyson Chance walked into the mall right when I was exiting and my first instinct as a 14/15 year old was to grab my phone and start taking photos, even though I wasn’t even a fan and could not name any song of his and was just excited to see a Hollywood person in such a mundane circumstance lol. But it wasn’t the smartest move, obviously. I got to be a little too close just because we were crossing paths; I wasn’t trying to be near him, but that’s what his bodyguard interpreted so he asked me to back off.

Have you ever complained about the last person you spoke to? I don’t think there was ever anything to complain about Hans. We’ve always been on amazing terms and he’s one of the funniest people I know.

Have you ever cried on your mom's shoulder? As an infant.

Have you ever dialed 911 as a prank? No. I’m not a jerk.

Have you ever won a talent show? I don’t have anything to show off, so I never joined those.

Have you ever spilled a drink on a expensive electronic item and ruined it? Nah. As clumsy as I can be, I’m always careful with liquids and gadgets.

Have you ever fainted when someone told you shocking news? Nope. I’ve only fainted because I was extremely hungry.

Have you ever swooned over the Jonas Brothers? In 4th grade. I still like them, but I haven’t swooned over them in a while.

Have you ever bought a piece of makeup that cost over $100? No, I don’t buy makeup period.

Have you ever been cheated on by someone who claimed to love you? I haven’t.

Have you ever got food free because the waiter thought you were hot? No, and ew.

Do you...

Do you have someone who will always be there for you? Yeah, I’m lucky I have friends who remind me all the time.

Do you have a membership at a gym? No, was never interested.

Do you act dumb to get guys/girls to like you? No. Hasn’t this been debunked a million times?

Do you know anyone who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day? Possibly more, yes.

Do you follow the rules? As much as possible, yeah.

Do you have a friend who secretly really annoys you? Eh, kind of, but I don’t count her as a friend per se.

Do you always have Pepsi at your house? I don’t think my parents buy Pepsi whenever they get softdrinks. I’ve only ever seen Coca-Cola bottles.

Do you flirt with anything that moves? No.

Do you watch Sponge Bob? I watched it regularly as a kid; as an adult, I’ll watch the older episodes from time to time.

Do you count sheep when you can't sleep? No.

Do you sweat easily? Nah. I’ve been told I rarely look like I sweat, actually.

Do you like pineapple? Not at all.

Do you refuse to wear something that's out of style? If it’s something that’s recently gone out of style, like culottes, then yeah. But if you mean like 90s stuff like fanny packs and mom jeans, I believe those things are back in style all over again.

Do you type 'u' or 'you'? I type both, depending on what I feel like using and who I’m talking to.

What is...

What is your best friend's name? Angela. Maybe Gabie? But mainly Angela.

What is your first girlfriend/boyfriend's name? See second name above.

What is your neighbour's name? I have no clue what any of their names are other than the director who lives two houses away; his name is Mac.

What is your least favorite swear word? Faggot.

What is the best and most romantic way to propose to someone? I think it will always be different per couple, and if a given couple wants a romantic proposal in the first place.

What is something that always makes you laugh? The show Friends.

What is the name of your hometown? That’ll stay a secret.

What is the most gentle way to turn someone down? Idk...haven’t really had to do this before, and the one time I did wasn’t the nicest way.

What is the ugliest girl name? 1) Can’t think of any, and 2) that’s just mean.

What is the most boring thing to do? Technically, waiting. Especially if it’s for something mundane, like lining up for a government service.

What is the funnest kind of question to answer? On surveys? I appreciate random questions the most.

What is the most useless thing you know? I’ve read a lot of ‘useless’ trivia on Reddit that I’ll probably never have to use or bring up in this lifetime.

What is your favorite pair of pants? My mom jeans, which I always mention when asked this.

What is the best flavour of ice cream? I personally root for cookies and cream.

[phoenixdown-and-fairydust]

Edited because 4:00am me doesn’t type well

So does anyone else sometimes wonder if/worry that certain cultural/familial things you incorporate into your characters will be seen as weird/misinterpreted by audiences if you ever get published?

Like, I have characters, some biologically related, some adopted, who are super physically affectionate with friends and family. Like hugging, kissing,ruffling hair, play fighting or just leaning on each other. Just generally expressing their love for each other through touch and closeness as well as expressing it verbally. 

A scene that I recently have been working on actually involves my then 11 year old female character returning to her family after being kidnapped and escaping her captors. Her adoptive father, upon seeing her safe, scoops her up to hug and kiss her, and her brothers dog pile on her in a giant group hug. Her brothers are also super affectionate with each other. For example the youngest of her older brothers has a bunch of trauma based nightmares when the four of them are kids and preteens , and they oldest two  set up a nest of pillows and blankets by a fireplace and snuggle up together with him and their sister so to comfort him. This doesn’t end with childhood either, they’re still expressive and affectionate with each other as teens and adults.

The thing is unless it’s their love interest it’s all purely platonic/familial. The sister and one of her brothers are adopted, not related to their adoptive family or each other in any biological way, but they see each other as family, no questions about it. They have absolutely zero romantic/sexual attraction to their adoptive family, and are frankly grossed out by the suggestion that there would be anything there if anyone brings it up, like “no, ew, that is my brother/sister/etc, please stop, that’s both kind of gross and laughable”.

To me it’s just natural to be physically affectionate with friends and especially family, but based on some of my experience I feel like that sentiment doesn’t quite fit here in North America. I’ve even had a few people correctly guess that I was raised in a European household despite living here. They sited me being openly affectionate with both male and female friends and family as what tipped them off, because “that’s super European”.

I’ve also noticed a weird social taboo about dads being physically affectionate with their kids, especially if it’s girls above 9 or so. I’ve actually had someone tell me it was creepy when my dad hugged me and kissed my cheek at my high school grad. Frankly I am super grossed out and find it creepy that someone could look that and see something inappropriate there.

So while for me it’s 1000000% act like this, I feel like someone will look at things like a character hugging and kissing his missing daughter and otherwise being affectionate and close as a sign of something sinister. Or think an “ I love you” between non-blood related friends and family must be romantic.

I know death of the author and similar thought processes are a thing, and I get it that people will interpret and ship what they want, but at the same time I really dread it if I make something popular. Or if it happens to get popular enough for a film/show adaptation a the producer will look at it and go “hey, A and B are single, lets pair them up for romance even though they canonically have no romantic or sexual feelings towards each other” or “well X and Y are in love and married at the end, but X’s adoptive sister Z says she’ll always love X here. What if we take that as a love triangle/forbidden love thing  instead of ‘you’ll always be my brother’”. And someone will just see that interpretation, and either be disappointed when my original doesn’t have that, or find false  evidence in my writing because they expect subtext to be there.

Sorry that turned into a bit of rant, but it’s 4:00am and this is stressing me out. Like I said, these scenes I mentioned seem normal and clear to me, but I worry people will take it the wrong way, and I’m stressing about if I should rewrite it or not.

[justheretobreakthings]

Baring Our Souls

Written for @gentronlegendaryfriendships Day 3 Prompt: Soulmate AU | Hand-Holding Word Count: 6,732 Characters: Keith & Pidge

Read on AO3

Keith was two and a half years old when his soulmark first appeared on his skin, too young for him to ever remember not having it. It was on his back, a narrow mark stretching between his shoulders: a deep green double helix that looked as if it were made of two criss-crossing vine, with wisps of red flame bordering it, smooth and shiny and almost golden when they reflected the light.

He had spent a lot of time in his early years on a stepstool at the bathroom counter with his dad’s shaving mirror in hand so he could look at the mark’s reflection. It was pretty, he had decided. And it was cooler than his dad’s, that pale purple gem that gleamed on his forearm.

He told him so over breakfast on morning when he was five, happily digging into his oatmeal as he explained his reasoning to his father. “Mine’s got fire on it,” he said between bites. “That makes me go fast. Yours doesn’t.”

“Your soulmark makes you go fast?” his dad said, raising a brow.

“Yeah. Like those cars that have fire on the side of them. They go faster than normal cars. That’s why I run so fast, ‘cause I’ve got a fast soulmark.”

His dad chuckled. “Well, who am I to argue with science like that? Come here, your soulmark’s making you eat so fast, you’re spilling.” Keith squirmed as he picked up a washcloth to wipe away the oatmeal that had dribbled onto his chin. “Still,” he continued, “Your mother thinks my soulmark is very cool. And that’s all that matters to me.”

“What kind of soulmark did Mom have?” Keith asked as his dad went back to his own seat.

“Hm? Keith, she has the same soulmark as I do.”

“Whoa,” Keith said. He paused to think that over, then asked, “Did she copy yours?”

His dad laughed again. “Keith, do you understand what a soulmark is?”

“Yeah,” said Keith. “It’s like a tattoo.”

“Well, okay, but do you know what soulmarks mean?”

Keith wrinkled his brow to think, then slowly shook his head.

“Huh,” said his dad. “Could’ve swarn I had explained it to you at some point. Ah, well. You see, Keith, soulmarks are used to show people who their soulmate is. If someone is your soulmate, they’ll have the same soulmark as you do.”

“What’s a soulmate?” Keith asked.

“A soulmate is… well, sort of like the love of your life. Someone who is perfect for you to form a lifelong bond with, so perfect for you that the universe makes sure that the two of you can find each other. Someone who – who’s a match for your heart. Who feels like home…”

His dad’s gaze had drifted over to the window to look up at the sky, and Keith turned in his chair to see what he was looking at, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He turned back around, thinking nothing further of it. After all, his dad tended to stare at the sky a lot. “So Mom was your soulmate?” he asked.

“Yes,” his dad said with a nod. “She was. I guess you could call it love at first sight for us. From the moment we first met, we fell for – ”

“Ew,” Keith groaned, digging his spoon back into his oatmeal. “Dad, you better not talk about you and Mom being all kissy and gross.”

“It’s not gross,” his dad said, putting a hand over his heart in mock offense. “It’s being in love.”

“It’s all mushy,” Keith said. “I don’t wanna be in love.”

His dad smirked. “I think a lot of kids feel that way at your age. Once you grow up and meet your soulmate, I think you’ll find yourself thinking a little differently.”

“Not me,” Keith said firmly. “I’m never falling in love.”

His dad stood to pick up their now empty bowls. “Whatever you say, bud,” he said, winking at Keith before ruffling his hair and heading into the kitchen.

--------------------------------------------

That was the first that Keith had learned of the concept of soulmates as couples, and less than a year later, when he was enrolled in kindergarten and thus surrounded by a lot more people than he ever had been, he found it amazing that he hadn’t figured that out beforehand. He hadn’t paid much attention to soulmarks before, but when he actually focused on them, he could see them on couples everywhere, on parents who came together to pick up their kids, on pairs in the diner where his dad would take him to eat lunch on Fridays to celebrate a completed week, a matched set on the music teacher and one of the cafeteria workers.

And as he grew older, the soulmark pairs stopped being limited to the adults around him. When he was nine, a boy his own age was placed in the same group home as himself and discovered that the boy he was sharing a bunkbed with had the same lightning design on his hand as he did. The two of them immediately took to holding hands everywhere they went. ‘Puppy love’, the supervisor called it. And in fourth grade, a girl in his class showed up one morning squealing to her friends and anyone else who would listen about how she had met her penpal in person for the first time, and discovered that the pattern around her eye, the one that looked like a mosaic of a sun, was a perfect match for his.

The young matchups were rare, but it seemed that by middle school, pretty much everyone was clamoring to find their soulmates. His classmates were constantly imagining and discussing traits they wanted their soulmate to have, celebrities they hoped their soulmate would look like. People began pairing off into couples, dating each other as ‘practice’ for when they met their soulmate.

And through it all, Keith watched on, feeling more and more like a spectator of a strange sport. Perhaps it was just because he was too focused on other things, in life, he figured. Or maybe he just hadn’t had his romantic awakening yet. A good number of his classmates had only really taken an interest in dating once puberty hit, and sure, he had reached that stage too, but maybe there was just some sort of delay. Maybe the health teacher who had given them a crash course on sex was right, and one day he would start looking at the people around him in a brand new light, have feelings toward them that he’d never experienced before. Maybe he just had to wait it out.

So he waited. And waited. And waited.

The change didn’t come. And he became increasingly nervous, watching and listening to people pair up and fantasize about falling head over heels for their soulmate. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want the things that everyone else anticipated so eagerly. But it seemed like an inevitability, that once you meet your soulmate, you’re on the fast track to love and romance and marriage. That’s what people wanted. The dating they did in the meantime was just a temporary fix until they could get the real thing.

The first exception he could remember seeing was after he had become a student at the Galaxy Garrison. It was also the first time he saw Shiro’s fiance Adam in a short-sleeve shirt instead of his usual Garrison uniform, and noticed the lack of the cloud of purple and silver stars that spread across his right bicep.

“People don’t have to marry their soulmate,” Shiro explained when Keith asked about it, blurted out the question in a lull during a study session at the kitchen counter in Shiro’s apartment. “Soulmates don’t always have to be romantic.”

“They don’t?” Keith asked.

“Nah. Sometimes a soulmate is more like… like a best friend.”

“I’ve never seen that before.”

“Well… I guess people do tend to, ah, develop romantic feelings for their soulmate. It’s only natural, I suppose. If someone’s the one that you have a destined bond to be close to for your whole lives - it’s a pretty romantic concept, really.”

Keith chewed his lip, frowning as he thought it over. “... Shiro?” he said softly.

“Mm-hm?”

“I don’t want to marry my soulmate.”

Shiro let out a little chuckle. “Ah, I see. You’ve got your eye on someone else, huh? Is it that girl in your flight class you were working on that paper with last week, the one with the freckles? She seemed cute, I can see why - ”

“No!” Keith snapped, feeling his face heat up. “No, god, Shiro! That’s not it! I haven’t - it’s not like that, I don’t like someone else, I - it isn’t just that I don’t want to marry my soulmate. I don’t want to marry anyone.”

Again Shiro smiled. “Keith, you don’t need to feel like that. Just because you haven’t met someone so far who you’d want to marry doesn’t mean that you can’t still meet the right - ”

“That’s not the problem!” Keith all but yelled. Immediately Shiro’s smile fell, and Keith’s eyes widened. He leaned away from Shiro. “I - I’m - I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean to - didn’t mean to shout at you, I - I swear, I just - I just - I’m just frustrated and - and - I’m sorry, Shiro, I’m - ”

“Whoa, whoa, hey.” Shiro lifted his hand, and Keith flinched away, before realizing that all he was doing was laying the hand on his shoulder. “It’s all right, kiddo, deep breaths.” Keith obediently took the deep breaths, trying to calm down, to relax, to rein in his temper like he was supposed to. “Can you explain why you’re frustrated? What is the problem?”

Keith took another deep breath. “It’s - it’s just - ” He fumbled for words, trying to find the right ones to explain, but that wasn’t easy when he still didn’t quite understand it himself. “I don’t - I don’t get it. The whole thing - the whole appeal behind all the - the dating and marriage and romance and stuff. You and Adam, and, and people in class who are dating each other, and just - just couples, couples as a whole, you all have this - these sort of rules that you follow, like, there’s a way you talk to each other and act around each other and look at each other, and, I mean, you know, things you do with each other that - that people say, you know, you want to be this way with the person you love. And it seems like it’s so natural to everyone, but - but it just seems - to me it just seems like - like it’d be so exhausting, and awkward, and - and contrived, and I feel like if I tried to be that way with someone, even if - even if they’re my soulmate… it would be like putting on a show. A really weird, intimate play where the dialogue’s all in a language I don’t speak.”

He cleared his throat and crossed his arms tightly over his chest, eyes on his feet as they dangled from the stool. “It - it all just feels weird,” he finished softly, weakly. “I don’t want it. I don’t… I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but… there it is.”

There was silence between them for a long moment before he felt a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, and he looked up to see the older boy’s expression serious and sympathetic. “There isn’t anything wrong with you, Keith,” he said.

“But – ”

“No, no, let me finish,” Shiro said, holding up his other hand. “I shouldn’t have started teasing you about this. It’s okay to not want this sort of thing, and it’s not something you have to worry about. Because your soulmate will understand.”

Keith was skeptical, and it must have shown on his face, because Shiro sighed. “Look, Keith, like I said, a soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic. I’m betting that my soulmate isn’t going to be a romantic one, and that’s okay. I want to marry Adam, even though we’re not soulmates. So maybe my soulmate is going to be someone who’s like a brother to me, or a really close friend, or, I dunno, a partner in crime.” He grinned at Keith, but when Keith didn’t return the grin, he became serious again. “This isn’t something you need to worry about, Keith. The universe – it knows what it’s doing. It wouldn’t match you with a soulmate who’s not perfectly okay with finding sex and romance elsewhere if they need it.”

“Yeah. I guess,” Keith said, although he wasn’t sure that this actually made him feel better. It was a bit of a relief to know that he wouldn’t have to marry his soulmate, but the thought of his hypothetical soulmate needing someone else to fill a gap that Keith left… well, it didn’t feel great.

And when Shiro and Adam’s relationship hit a snag it couldn’t overcome and they broke off their engagement, it just felt even worse. Because here was his proof that it wouldn’t work out. That people who weren’t soulmates just couldn’t make it work. That his soulmate was going to be stuck with him.

He felt guilty. He was keeping someone from getting to have these things that everyone seemed to find so special and vital. Some soulmate he was.

--------------------------------------------

If there was one positive to all the tragedy that came out of the Kerberos disaster and his expulsion from the Garrison, it was that Keith finally got removed enough from people that unhappy thoughts about his soulmate didn’t weigh him down. He gave little thought to his soulmark during the year he spent in the desert. It was easier to forget about the whole soulmate problem when he was on his own, just him and the desert, no couples around and no soulmarks in his vision save for the few he’d see when he made his occasional supply runs to town.

It was a nice change of pace, on the one hand, getting away from all of that.

But, admittedly, it was a lonely life too.

Oh well. If his only two options were a life of loneliness and a life of romance, the former seemed the more tolerable of the two.

But after the whirlwind during which Shiro had crashed back to Earth and he’d gone on the lam with a group of barely-familiar Garrison students and gotten shot out into the far reaches of outer space by a giant blue robotic lion and they began their new lives as intergalactic warriors aboard an alien castle, the topic arrived in his life once again.

Thinking about it was pretty much unavoidable right from the moment they had entered the castle ship and met the Alteans, where they found that Allura, the princess, had a chain of tiny, pale blue flowers stretching over the bridge of her nose and across her cheeks, a precise match to the one on the face of Lance, one of the students who had become a paladin alongside him.

In the beginning, of course, they had been mostly focused on their own soulmark situation, Lance being utterly delighted at having found his soulmate and Allura being more or less mystified by the universe’s selection. After a few days on the castle, though, it was natural that there would be curiosity. Allura was the one who brought it up over dinner.

“Lance’s is the only soulmark I’ve seen out of the paladins so far,” she pointed out. “I know some people prefer to keep theirs private, of course, but I couldn’t help but wonder, if you don’t think it too forward of me…”

“It’s not too forward, don’t worry,” Shiro said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “In my case, it’s not that I want to keep it hidden or anything. It’s just that, well - ” He sighed and gestured to his prosthetic arm with a wave of his human hand. “I don’t really have mine anymore.”

Allura stammered out a stunned apology over Shiro’s assurances that it was perfectly all right, and Keith kept his attention on his plate all the while. He couldn’t help but feel an inkling of guilt somewhere in his gut; here he was hating his own soulmark and dreading what it meant for him and hiding it away, while Shiro, who had always seemed rather proud of his own soulmark, didn’t even have one anymore thanks to the Galra. Old echoes from homes of the past - scolding him for being ungrateful and insensitive and selfish - wormed their way into his ears.

Hunk was the one to save the mood. “Well, mine’s still around. Just kind of in an inconvenient spot, I guess.” He hefted his right foot onto the chair next to him, removed his boot and rolled up his pant leg, and lifted his leg to show the gold and white that spiraled around the lower half of his ankle like a sandstorm. “Can’t see it when I’m wearing long pants or boots, but those are more comfortable, so, well.” He shrugged. “That’s mine, anyway.”

“I always liked yours, it suits you,” Lance remarked as Hunk lowered his leg and started putting his boot back on. “Never saw yours, though, Pidge. Is yours in a weird spot too?”

“Yep,” Pidge said flatly before scooping a sporkful of food goo into her mouth.

“Where is it?”

Pidge took a moment to chew and swallow before answering, “On my ass.”

“Oh, come on, no it’s not,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, where’s your soulmark?”

“Lance, if she doesn’t want to share, she doesn’t have to,” Keith said, finally joining in on the conversation. He had wanted to stay out of it, to make sure the focus of the conversation never shifted toward him, but he knew that having to share a soulmark could be uncomfortable, and Pidge’s expression did seem grateful after he spoke up.

“Well, what’s your soulmark, Mullet?” said Lance. “Notice you haven’t shared yet either.”

“It’s – um – ” he stammered.

“You can only see Keith’s in an x-ray,” Pidge said. “It’s carved into one of his ribs instead of his skin. It’s a picture of a giant lion taking a dump on Lance’s head.”

“You guys suck,” Lance groaned as Keith snorted.

--------------------------------------------

“Hey, Pidge?” Keith said, knocking on the doorframe of Pidge’s open door. “Can, uh, can we… can we talk about – ?”

“Yeah,” Pidge interrupted him, not looking up from her laptop, the only light in her otherwise darkened room. “Come on in, don’t step on anything important.”

Keith nodded and entered, sidestepping the laundry and computer equipment scattered across the floor – it was amazing how Pidge had made her room so messy in such a short amount of time – to set down on the bed next to her. He hesitated, not sure how to start talking. This was… awkward. Things had been awkward for the last couple of days, ever since Keith had blown up at her when she was planning to leave Voltron in order to search for her family.

The guilt had been eating away at him. He hadn’t really gotten close yet to any of his teammates besides Shiro, but out of all of him, Pidge was probably the one he got along with the easiest. Hunk was sweet, but very talkative and somewhat boisterous and constantly tense, which made him tiring to spend a lot of time with, while Lance was… Lance. Pidge, though, was the more introverted of the lot, could be as reckless in battles or training as Keith was, and had a smart, dry sense of humor that Keith appreciated. He didn’t mind being around her, even kind of enjoyed it. And the last thing he wanted to do was let his hotheadedness ruin that.

“Listen, I, um,” he started. “I – I wanted to apologize. To say sorry for – for the things I – like, it wasn’t selfish for you to want to find your family, that was – ”

“Keith,” Pidge cut him off, finally turning away from her laptop screen to look at him. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, I was totally – ”

“Yeah, you were totally being an ass about the whole thing, but, you know.” She shrugged. “I forgive you. Like, I get where you were coming from. I hadn’t thought it through as thoroughly as I pretended, and I guess – I guess I hadn’t thought that, well, we’re a team, and that’s supposed to be, like…”

She sighed and rested her chin on her hand. “Hey, Keith, you know, I’ve – I’ve talked to Shiro a lot, lately. Because he knows Matt and Dad real well. But we don’t always talk just about them. We talk about – we talk about lots of stuff, and, uh, he’s actually told me a bit about you.”

Keith’s brows shot up. “About me?”

“Yeah. Nothing bad, and nothing too personal,” she added. “Just, like, how you guys met, and why he took you under his wing.”

“…Oh.”

“And, um.” Pidge cleared her throat. “Anyway, I get why you were – it seemed that Shiro had really put a lot of effort into trying to teach you that it’s okay to get attached to people, and so for a teammate to up and try to leave, well… I can get why that kinda riled you up.”

Keith said nothing, just nodded dumbly, watching Pidge’s face. She seemed perfectly genuine, which came as a surprise. He was the one who had blown up, and he was trying to take responsibility for that. Pidge being so accomodating wasn’t in the plan. “Well, uh, still,” he said. “I really am – ”

“You’re sorry. I know.” Pidge gave him a small smile. “Tell you what. On the next chore rotation where I’m assigned bathroom duty, you swap with me, okay? We’ll call it even.”

Keith couldn’t help but let out a breath of laughter. “All right, deal.” He stretched out his arms. “Sorry if I interrupted anything. I can head out.”

“Nah, you’re fine,” Pidge said. “It’s compiling right now, so I’m just sitting around waiting. If you’ve got any way to keep me entertained, go for it.”

“Keep you entertained?”

“Yeah, sure. Go on, tell me a joke.”

“Um… Knock knock.”

“…On second thought, maybe you’re better as quiet company.”

“Sorry,” Keith said.

“’S’alright,” Pidge grunted. “Here, lemme – one sec – ” She scooted over so that she was in Keith’s lap, then sank down and nestled up against him. “Matt sometimes does this when I just… want someone around, but don’t wanna talk. He’s a pretty good pillow, and you’re pretty close to his size… This okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith said, resting his chin on top of Pidge’s head. “This is okay.”

--------------------------------------------

Their introverted bonding time slowly became a regular thing. Neither of them was really conscious of it happening. They didn’t mean to go out of their way to spend time with each other. It was just easy, when they needed quiet company, to seek each other out, with a book or tablet or computer or snack, and be in the same space. Sometimes they chatted; they had a lot in common, it turned out, aside from having both lost their older brothers in Kerberos. They discovered that they both were dog people, they both liked card games, they both thought that Lance’s jokes were terrible, they both hated haircuts and clothes shopping, neither of them could roll their tongue. Keith couldn’t even remember how those topics came up.

Other times, they just sat in silence together, occasionally for hours at a time, only interrupted by the sounds of Keith adjusting his posture or Pidge’s fingers clacking against her keyboard. It was pleasant, peaceful, and Keith even found himself looking forward to those times.

And they kept them going until the day of the Trial of Marmora.

Keith had let Shiro be the one to explain the news of his heritage to the rest of the team, partly because he was just too exhausted and sore, partly because he didn’t think he would be able to find the right words even if he wasn’t. And as the team was gathered for a strategy meeting after the revelation, Keith was barely holding himself together, and looked it too, at least enough for Shiro to take notice.

“Keith?” Shiro said, giving him a gentle nudge with his elbow. “You holding up okay?”

Keith nodded with a soft, “Yeah,” right before his legs gave out under him and he collapsed against Shiro. Through a wave of dizziness Keith heard Shiro urgently call his name and hasten to grip him and hold him up. His human arm jostled the injured shoulder, causing Keith to grimace and let out an involuntary groan.

Allura stopped in the middle of whatever she was saying at the noise to shoot him a glare for interrupting. “What’s going on with him?”

Shiro cast Keith a worried look that was blurring in Keith’s vision before turning back to the princess. “I think we need to take Keith to the med bay,” he said.

“Can it not wait until we’re finished with our discussion?” Allura asked sharply. “He’s been holding up fine up until this moment.”

Shiro met her glare evenly. “No, it can’t wait. Really, we should’ve gotten him first aid the moment we got back to the castle. We’ve already waited long enough.”

Allura sighed. “Fine. Coran, get a pod set up for him. Shiro, go ahead and get him set up for the cryopod, but come right back here once he’s readied, got it?”

Coran hurried on ahead, and Shiro nodded as he adjusted his grip on Keith so that his arm went around his back to support him. “Can you walk okay?”

“I, uh…” Keith said. He tested with one wobbly step, and found himself immediately off-balance, leaning out away from Shiro so that the latter had to hastily grab him at his waist to keep him upright, agitating the bruises there.

“Here, I can help.” Suddenly he was being supported on that side to, Pidge’s much smaller figure having slipped around to help balance him. The height disparity between her and Shiro meant that Keith was distinctly lopsided, but it was serviceable for just walking to the med bay.

“Wait,” Keith said, pulling away from Coran’s hand. “I really don’t - ”

“Don’t worry, Keith, you won’t be in there long,” Coran said. “Nasty looking cut you’ve got there, but we’ll make quick work of it. You’ll be in and out in a jiffy.”

“You don’t need to look at my shoulder, though. The pod will do all the work.”

Coran barked out a laugh, more out of surprise than humor. “I need to get a good look at the wound so I can input it into the cryopod. Fully autonomous artificial intelligence medical work is still just a bit beyond our reach, even for Alteans.” He snapped his fingers impatiently at Keith. “Come now, lad, now’s not the time to be stubborn.”

“Need me to hold him down while you strip him, Coran?” Pidge asked, and Keith lurched away from her, aghast.

“No one is stripping anybody,” Shiro said.

“Quite right,” Coran said with a nod. “We just need to examine the shoulder, Keith, then you can change into the cryosuit in privacy.”

“But - ”

“Keith,” Shiro cut him off, voice not angry, but stern.

Keith turned desperately toward him, brow raised as he flicked his eyes toward his back and then to Shiro again. Shiro in his turn let his face soften, apologetic, but still lifted his shoulders in resignation.

Keith bit back a sigh. Their silent conversations were clear enough to him. Yes, Shiro understood why Keith didn’t want his shoulderblade exposed, but he wasn’t letting Keith off the hook for this. He was going to have show it.

Slumping in defeat, he slowly reached his good arm to his back to pull down the zipper of his flight suit. He shrugged the material off so that the top half of his torso was exposed and glanced toward the shoulder now laid bare. He grimaced. The cut looked deeper than he had expected, and the sight of the dark red pooling in the cut and smudged across his shoulder had renewed the pain of the injury; he had to fight not to groan against the ache that flared up.

“You’re about the same size and weight as Lance,” Coran said, “So we can use his settings as a baseline, but of course I’ll have to make some adjustments; the pod shouldn’t be giving you precisely the same dosages and treatments, since you’re, ah - a different - a different, er - ”

“Right,” Keith cut off his stammering. The settings for him would be different because he was a different species. Because he was Galra. They didn’t have to say it out loud.

At least Coran’s reaction to the news was, as far as Keith could tell, merely awkwardness, rather than the cold hostility he had seen grow on Allura’s face as his experience in the Trials of Marmora was explained. And Shiro was still there, at his side, supporting him despite everything. As for the others, well, they had simply seemed stunned. He would probably have to wait for the news to sink in for everyone before he could gauge how they all felt about him.

He couldn’t help but glance toward Pidge, though. She had helped him down to the med room; surely she wasn’t too angry with him, right?

His heart and hopes sank when he really looked at her face for the first time since returning to the castle.

Pidge had backed away, and was staring at him, her eyes wide as scaultrite lenses, her face pale, and Keith knew it was too much to hope that Pidge would be okay with this. Coran bringing up how his Galra side would affect him in the pods must have somehow been what really made it sink in for Pidge: that Keith, the teammate she had come to call a friend, was part of the empire they were at war with, was a part of the people who had captured and imprisoned her brother and father.

Keith wasn’t the one who had taken Pidge’s family from her, but he still felt like he had a part in the responsibility. And Pidge must have felt the same.

Which is why he didn’t hold it against her when, without another word to Keith, she turned and fled from the med bay.

--------------------------------------------

Keith missed spending time with Pidge, but he didn’t blame her. He liked to think that if the roles were reversed, if she were the one who was Galra, he wouldn’t have reacted this way. He wouldn’t have suddenly started keeping his distance from Pidge, wouldn’t have taken pains to avoid being alone in the same room with her, wouldn’t have constantly avoided eye contact with her. Wouldn’t have done the things that Pidge did in the following days.

But the roles were not reversed, so he supposed he couldn’t say for sure. In any case, there was nothing he could do but suck it up and move on. The way he always did.

The tension and silence between them stayed until the night they were expected to spend a formal dinner with the royal family from a planet that Voltron had recently saved from a Galra raid, and it was a rare occasion where their paladin armor wouldn’t cut it. Instead, they wound up decked out in Altean evening wear, Keith and the other male paladins in bizarre suits and capes that made Keith feel like he had been given the costumes for characters from three different films, all set in wildly different time periods and at least one which was being particularly experimental with color, all combined into a single outfit.

Allura was in one of her more elaborate dresses, puffy and featuring several layers of skirts, and had given Pidge an old dress of hers that she had since outgrown to wear. They were getting ready with plenty of time to spare before the dinner, so Coran could make adjustments to the outfits and fix everyone’s hair (or, almost everyone; Keith wouldn’t let him anywhere near his head with that smelly styling goop of his), so there was a lot of waiting around idly to do. And that’s what Keith was doing when Pidge emerged on the bridge in Allura’s dress, wobbling in her formal shoes and looking utterly miserable.

“Pidge, what is that you’re wearing?” Allura said, dropping Hunk’s cuff that she’d been helping to button in order to go to her.

“The dress you gave me.”

Allura huffed. “Yes, I know that. I meant the shawl.”

Pidge reached a hand up to the thick length of fabric she had wrapped over her shoulders. “Oh, that. Well, uh, you know. This dress is strapless, and I get chilly, so, wanted to have something to cover up. It was in your closet. A shawl can still be formal, right?”

“That’s not the problem. That color does not match the dress at all.”

“Oh.” Pidge frowned down at the shawl. “You sure? Looks fine to me.”

Allura sighed. “I’m sure. You can still wear a shawl, Pidge, but let me get one that actually matches. Here give that one back.”

“No, Allura, wait!” Pidge said, stepping back, but Allura was too quick, grabbing the end of the shawl and whipping it off of Pidge’s shoulders in a single swift motion. Pidge turned around hastily, turning her back away from Keith’s line of sight, but it was too late.

He had already seen it.

A glimpse of the back of her shoulder, where two green vines intertwined, bordered by ruby red flame.

Her soulmark.

His soulmark.

Any other chatter on the bridge became white noise, all turning to static in Keith’s head as he felt his blood race in his veins. His knees suddenly felt weak, like his body had become too heavy for them to support, and his vision was beginning to blur.

He needed to lie down. He needed to get a hold of himself.

Without another thought he hurried out of the bridge. He was pretty sure someone called his name and asked where he was going, but he ignored them and simply let his feet take him to his room on autopilot. Once there, he collapsed against the door that closed behind him, shaking.

He didn’t have much time to collect himself before a knock came at the door against his breath.

With a deep breath, he opened it, and just as expected, Pidge was the one standing outside it, fist raised and poised to knock again, looking as uncomfortable as he had ever seen her. For several seconds they just stared at each other, then they both spoke at once.

“Listen - ” he said at the same time that Pidge said, “We need to talk.”

Keith closed his mouth and nodded toward the bed, where Pidge took a seat. She was careful in the borrowed dress, and Keith found himself leaning forward, angling himself so he wouldn’t accidentally catch a glimpse of those shining red leaves or dark vines. Her soulmark. His soulmark.

“Look, Keith, I - ” Pidge started, then hesitated. Her mouth kept moving a bit for a moment, trying to form new words, but when none came out, she sighed and dropped her head.

So Keith started the conversation for her. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” he asked. “Because of the mark?”

Pidge nodded slowly. “When your shoulder got injured after that Trial of Marmora thing. First time I saw it.”

Keith wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but he certainly didn’t feel great. On the one hand, of course, it meant that his initial assumption had been wrong. Pidge didn’t hate him for his blood. She hadn’t distanced herself from him because he was Galra, and she wasn’t upset with him about belonging to the same alien race that had taken her father and brother from her.

On the other hand, though, this was one of his worst fears realized. That someone would find out that they were stuck with him as a soulmate, and wouldn’t want him. That horrified look on Pidge’s face that day in the med bay, the way she had been distancing herself from him ever since seeing his soulmark.

He couldn’t blame her for it. He wasn’t exactly soulmate material, and Pidge didn’t even know yet about the things that Keith couldn’t give her. And now the bond they’d been growing - that comfort in Pidge’s presence, the feeling that she could practically be his sister - it was dashed to pieces.

All because of that stupid, stupid mark.

His stomach roiled as he looked down at his feet. “I – I get it,” he muttered. “I get why you’re upset. You deserve a soulmate who – who isn’t – who can – ”

Pidge cut him off, not with words, but by placing her hand on his knee, and he fell quiet as he stared down at it. “No, Keith, it’s not you,” she said. “There’s nothing – it’s not like – ” She sighed. “It’s not you, it’s me. And I know that’s, like, a total cliché sort of break-up line, but, um, see, it’s just – ”

She took a deep breath. “Suppose I’ll just come right out and say it. I’m aroace.”

Keith blinked up at her, baffled, so she went on. “I’m – it’s short for ‘aromantic asexual’, and it means that I don’t, um, I don’t experience attraction to other people. At least not romantic or sexual attraction. And for the most part, you know, that’s not a problem, but with the whole soulmark thing, I – I, um – I always knew that there would be someone out there who felt that way about me, and I knew that I wouldn’t – I wouldn’t be able to feel it back.

“And I know, I know I should have come to you when I saw your soulmark and explained, but – but that wouldn’t be – it isn’t fair to you.” Her voice crackled and her chin began to wobble. “And I liked the way we were, before. It was kind of like – like having a brother around again. And I didn’t want to ruin that. And if you found out that you and I had the same soulmark, it would be ruined, so – so I just kind of… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I know that this means you kind of got a shitty deal when it comes to soulmates, and you, uh, you can do what you want with this information, but I can’t – I can’t feel that way toward you. I can’t see you that way. I’ve been trying, the last couple of days, to think things over, try to… try to think… but I… can’t. Like I said, it’s not you.” She let out a little hiccough and wiped at her eyes.

For several seconds that seemed to drag on for hours, Keith simply stared at her, dumbfounded. He could feel the cogs in his brain smoke from the friction as they worked overtime to fully comprehend what she had just told him.

Then, as much to his own surprise as it was to hers, he started to laugh.

It wasn’t his normal laugh, the somewhat throaty chuckle he broke out on special occasions. It was higher, wilder. Hysterical. All this time, all this time he had spent so worried about his soulmate, worried that he wouldn’t be enough, that they would be looking for different things, that fate had made a mistake with him or that he was broken or that his soulmate would resent him for how he felt and how he loved. And all this time, he needn’t have worried.

He had never been so happy to be so wrong.

“Keith?” Pidge said. “What are you – ?”

Before he could stop himself, he was pulling her into a hug, letting his tears of laughter fall onto her shoulder as she awkwardly returned it.

“Me too,” he said.

Perhaps the universe knew what it was doing after all.

[all-my-novels]

send me a prompt + a ship and i’ll write something

it might be a drabble, a snippet, or even a full on oneshot, who knows? but it’ll be something. i really wanna write family/pregnancy stuff so that’s what we’re doing tonight. fandoms i’ll do this for are danganronpa only right now because that’s what i’m craving. send any ship from trigger happy havoc, sdr2, ndrv3, or dr3 the anime. doing as many as i can! there’s a shit ton of prompts so click the read more. i’ll do any ship as long as it isn’t tenko with men, cis mpreg (trans mpreg is fine), incest, or pedophilia. also no haiji ew.

prompts

Person A is lounging on the couch on Father’s Day when Person B approaches and hands them a card. A is confused, as they don’t have kids yet, until they open it and see a picture of B holding a positive pregnancy test/adoption papers/etc. How they react is up to you!

Person A and B are engaged to be married and have decided that they want children in the future but want to wait for a while until after the wedding to try for them. They have a night alone before the big day and forget about it until their honeymoon when Person B is extremely tired the whole time and discovers that they’re expecting on the last day to the surprise of them and Person A.

Person A and B are trying for a child with no success and begin to lose hope. One day Person B, after feeling dizziness coupled with a headache at work, visits their doctor and discovers that they are finally expecting, much to the joy of both them and Person A.

Imagine person A of your OTP telling person B they are pregnant in the form of a baby-themed Christmas ornament.

Imagine your OTP recently had a baby (Person A being the bearer) and they finally have some time to be intimate. Person A is very insecure about the way their body has changed from the pregnancy, and Person B shows them through slow, passionate sex how they’re still beautiful.

Person A and Person B are getting married/renewing their vows. They’ve written their own vows. When it’s B’s turn, Person B admits that B is pregnant.

Imagine your OTP is living in a cheap studio apartment, struggling to get by, and then Person A finds out they’re pregnant…

Imagine Person A of your OTP is lightly pregnant. They’re terrified of telling B for some reason. Then when they finally tell B, B hugs and coddles them, saying how happy they are.

Seven months later, A is lethargically laying on the couch eating. Nothing but their cravings for a loooooong month until B gets sick and tired of A’s crap, and forces them to eat one of each food group.

Imagine your OTP has recently gotten married, but are not ready for kids. Around the same time, a close friend of theirs announces they’re pregnant. Nine months later, when said friend gives birth, your OTP is there with them. After the baby is born and they go home, Person A says, “Wow. That was intense. I’m glad we aren’t having kids for a while.” Person B (awkwardly) has to announce that they just found out that they’re pregnant. How Person A reacts is up to you.

Person A goes to Person B’s older sibling and tells them that they are pregnant and they are afraid of what Person B will think once their pregnancy progresses. During their conversation, Person B eavesdrops. What happens after is entirely up to you.

Imagine your OTP as high schoolers. Person A finding out they’ve impregnated Person B.

Imagine Person A and Person B are in Person A’s bedroom alone together. Person A admits that they are pregnant and Person B is overjoyed, while Person A’s family is secretly listening on the other side of the door.

Imagine Person B of your OTP noticing that person A seems very distracted/down/perhaps even a little sick looking lately but person A keeps brushing off B’s questions and concerns until they are dancing at some fancy event and suddenly A comes clean about being pregnant with B’s baby and the dance just freezes as the reality of being parents sink in. Further reactions are up to you.

Both A and B of your OT3 are pregnant. They lie on C as a pillow.

Imagine person A of your OTP is really sick suddenly. Person B then drives them to the doctor and the doctor diagnosis it as morning sickness, because A is pregnant.

Person A is sitting in a dim hospital room with their newborn. Person B [and C] comes in after getting rid of all the visitors, and they have their first peaceful moment as a family.

Imagine your OTP arguing over whose hair color they think their baby will get.

Imagine Person A of your OTP finding out they’re pregnant on them and Person B’s wedding night.

Imagine Person A finds out they’re expecting Person B’s child. They’re afraid to tell B, not really sure how they’ll react to the news. When they do finally work up the courage to break the news, Person B freaks out–but not in the negative way that Person A was worried about. Instead, a dazed A finds themself being smothered in hugs and kisses, and bombarded with excited questions about the baby.

Imagine one of your OTP+s with at least one male member.  Now imagine that your OTP+ is about to have a baby (through whatever means), and the male member(s) start freaking out about the idea of raising a little girl.

Imagine Person A putting their head on Person B’s very pregnant belly, overjoyed at how they’re going to become a parent. Then the baby kicks A in the face.

Imagine person A is pregnant and grumpy. Person B offers to let A use them as a pillow.

Imagine person A of your OTP is 6 months pregnant and they’re craving cake, so they wake up person B (and C if OT3) at 2 am and force them to bake with/for them.

Imagine that Person A is heavily pregnant and is laying on the couch. Person B comes and gives A a smooch on their belly, but at the exact spot and time where they kiss, the baby gives a huge kick. B is a little thrown off but they laugh and say, “That little shit just kicked me in the mouth!”

Imagine person A giving birth, and squeezing B’s hand so hard they actually break it. Afterwards, your OTP’s friends all want to see the baby, but B insists that someone signs their cast. Person C gives in and affectionately writes, “God made the river, God made the lakes, God made person B, well we all make mistakes.”, which person A finds hilarious.

Imagine your OT3. A & B have had a child together, and so have A & C. Now B & C want to have a baby, and they argue about who should carry it.

Person A is pregnant and is trying to get Person B to talk to the baby; Person B feels self-conscious, silly, ridiculous, etc. talking to A’s belly, and at first begins speaking jokingly, but soon gets very involved.  Bonus points if A gets emotional.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant and hasn’t yet told Person B. One day, A and B are doing something together, when B suddenly says “I know about the baby”. You choose what happens next.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant, and Person B has begun a habit of talking to A’s stomach, from telling stories to bad jokes. A lot. Whether Person A finds it cute or is incredibly annoyed is up to you.

Imagine your OTP/OT3 having recently had their first child. Person A was the one to carry and give birth to the baby, and they are self-conscious about their stretchmarks, loose skin, extra weight etc. Person B (and C) try to cheer Person A up and make them love their body again.

Imagine person A of your OTP is pregnant and having to put up with some kicks and squirms from the baby which are rather bothersome to A. B then sings to the baby which seems to calm it down or rather lull it to sleep.

Imagine Person A of your OTP just found out they’re pregnant. Now imagine them coming up with a creative way to tell Person B (like putting a hot dog bun in their oven). Bonus: B misunderstands hilariously.

Imagine your OTP/OT3 has just started trying to have children. They’ve been unsuccessful so far but then one day in the mail they start getting ads for baby supplies. It turns out person A is indeed pregnant.

Imagine Muse A of your OTP is pregant. Muse A complains to Muse B that they can’t get any sleep because the baby has been kicking Muse A nonstop since last night. So, Muse B gathers Muse A in their arms, sits them on their lap, and rubs Muse A’s stomach to help them feel better.

Imagine your OTP had a baby, and decide to try for another. They’re happy to discover they’re pregnant, but then later find out it’s not just one baby or two. It’s triplets!

Imagine your OTP running a bakery. Muse A starts to put on weight and assumes its down to eating the cakes/things they sell in the bakery. They start to lay off of the sweet things and work out regularly. However nothing happens. One day whilst talking about the situation, Muse B jokes ‘Maybe you’re pregnant’ and realisation hits Muse A.

Imagine that Person A is pregnant, but they aren’t sure how to tell Person B. Then, when the two of them are having a cute/romantic moment, Person A hugs B and buries their face into B’s chest and whispers “You’re going to be a great parent.”

Imagine your OTP trying to figure out a fun way to break the news that they’re pregnant to their families.

Imagine Person A of your OTP being the absolute last in their social circle to find out that B is several months pregnant.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant and showing a lot more than they thought they would - Perhaps thinking they dated the pregnancy wrong. Next ultrasound, they find out the reason: They’re not having one, not two, but three! Person A is shocked, wondering how they’re going to tell Person B. (OT3 Bonus: Person C is with them on the visit and is just plain excited.)

Imagine Person A refuses alcohol at some sort of party, leading to the other party goers to speculate that they’re pregnant. However, person A denies that, saying that they’re B’s (and more, if you’ve got an OTP+) designated driver.

Bonus: A later reveals to B that they are indeed pregnant.

Imagine your OTP’s first child being born on their anniversary.

Imagine your OTP(+)’s reaction to them finding out they’re pregnant with twins.

Imagine one of your OT3 gets pregnant after a drunken threesome. They decide to have the baby and raise it together. A year or two later, after many ups and downs, one of them has the idea of having a second child. The one who had the baby says “That’s a terrible idea. Let’s do it.”

Imagine that Person B of your OT3 is expecting. The three have decided to keep the other parent’s identity a surprise for after the birth. In the meantime, Persons A and C make a bet: the one who turns out to be the other parent will receive a certain amount of money (or whatever else you want) from the other person. Person B is either annoyed or amused by their antics.

Imagine your OTP painting the nursery for their first child, and then getting into a mini paint fight that includes painting a cute picture on the baby bump.

Imagine that Person A of your OT3 is pregnant by Person B. Person A is getting ridiculous morning sickness and being ridiculously clingy towards Person C yet not remotely towards Person B, because it’s Person B’s fault that they can hardly keep a meal down or lie down comfortably, and so Person B needs to be punished accordingly.

Imagine person A of your OTP has a very overprotective older brother. So when person A starts dating B, person A has to assure their brother that nothing is going to go wrong. Unfortunately, person B gets person A pregnant, and then they get a mandatory shotgun wedding.

Imagine Person A (and Person C) going out shopping. They find cute tops/bottoms and begin looking through the stacks. Person B comes along to find Person A (and C) looking at the clothes and they ask something along the lines of “Are you trying to tell me something?” Turns out, Person A (and C) were looking maternity clothes! Continue from here.

Imagine your OTP(3) out shopping for maternity clothes for a pregnant Person A. Eventually, they realize that they’re not overly impressed with the clothing options available at whatever stores they’ve been in, and so B (and C) decide to put their sewing skills to work and make some homemade maternity clothes for A.

Bonus points if they argue over things like colors, prints, materials, etc. when fitting and measuring for the new clothes.

Your OTP has been trying for months to get pregnant. Imagine person A finding out they’re pregnant while person B is at work. They want to share the news with person B in a fun and creative way.

Imagine person A of your OTP/3 asking their partner(s) questions like if they have enough money, room, or time for a baby. When they get told no, Person A hesitates, then reveals a positive pregnancy test. How the other(s) react is up to you.

Imagine Person A is pregnant and playing with Person B’s hair as Person B kisses their tummy.

Imagine your OT3 deciding to have a baby. How will they do it?

Imagine your OT3 trying to figure out if B is expecting A or C’s child.

Your OTP have a baby, and after much discussion and research decide to breastfeed. The new family go out somewhere together, and at some point, the baby needs to be fed. A bystander begins to yell at Person A for being indecent, and Person B/C proceed to defend Person A and put the bystander in their place.

Imagine your OTP is either expecting or adopting an infant, and a baby shower is thrown for them. Person A’s favorite gift is a large diaper bang printed with little ducks.

Person A of your OTP finds out they’re pregnant, and they (and the other member/s) are absolutely thrilled… until their doctor gives them a laundry list of things they cannot eat or drink for the duration of the pregnancy. The other member/s of the pairing decide to forgo everything on that list as a display of solidarity with Person A because, hey, it’s their kid, too.

Imagine your OTP has a little banter about the look of their future child.

Imagine your OTP’s first attempt at feeding their child baby food, and the gigantic mess that results.

Imagine Person A of your OTP getting pregnant even though they were on the pill (or some other form of birth control.) They and the (un?)lucky other parent take a look at the container it comes in and find that it has expired! How do they react?

Imagine that person A of your OTP is heavily pregnant and feels awkward and insecure. It completely puzzles them that person B seems to find them sexier than ever and can’t keep their hands off them.

Imagine your OTP painting the nursery room together.

Imagine your OTP being the Tooth Fairy for the first time for their child.

Imagine Person A of your OTP being heavily pregnant and in constant need of Person B’s help to stand up from sitting or lying down. Person A is disgruntled at their helplessness, while Person B just smiles and is always ready to help.

Imagine that Person A is pregnant and ends up giving birth in the most awkward place/time you can think up.

Imagine that Person A is having morning sickness. What does Person B do about it?

Imagine your OTP playfully fighting over baby names.

Imagine that Person B is holding Person A’s hand during childbirth, and Person A nearly (or does) break Person B’s hand.

Imagine your OTP teaching their daughters that they are strong, capable, deserving, and more than objects to be used.

Imagine that somehow, both Person A and Person B are pregnant. At the same time. (And they have the babies at the same time.) OT3: Person C now has to look after both of their hormonal partners. (Hilarity ensues.)

Imagine your OTP finding out that the condom broke.

Imagine your OTP teaching their young child or children to catch fireflies on a summer evening.

Imagine that Person A is in labor and for whatever reason is having the baby at home. The midwife/doctor/whatever won’t arrive for a while, so Person B stays right beside Person A and holds their hand. OT3 Bonus: Person C rubs Person A’s back.

Imagine your OTP finding out they’re going to be parents for the first time.

Imagine Person A of your OTP getting married to Person B. Person A’s baby bump is noticeable through the dress (or tuxedo if you’re into M-preg) and after Person A and B have their kiss, Person B kisses the baby bump.

Imagine that both people of your OTP (or all three if OT3) are pregnant. Hilarity ensues.

Imagine your OTP looking at baby names, in books or websites. Person A chooses some of the most ridiculous names they could find (either to make Person B laugh, or they seriously like them?).

Imagine that Person A of your OTP is pregnant and isn’t sure whether or not Person B will be happy about the news.

However, when Person B is told about it, they start to get excited about the baby and immediately hug Person A, and the rest of the day is just the two of them discussing baby names all while Person B is rubbing and talking to Person A’s stomach.

Imagine person A of your OTP finding out they’re expecting. They try to think of all these adorably clever ways to let person B know but, when they try to drop the hint, it flies right over person B’s head. Person A tries a few more times before basically giving up and coming right out about it.

Imagine your OTP finding out they are having a baby, and fighting over what to name it. When they find out the sex of the baby, they look at each other and instantly know what the name will be.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant and goes into labor at a very inopportune place or moment.

Imagine Person A is pregnant and has the pregnant symptoms of mood swings, odd cravings, and an extra dose of hornyness. How does Person B keep up with A’s changes and keep them satisfied?

Imagine Person A of your OTP very, very pregnant and quite uncomfortable all the time, bossing around Person B.

Imagine Person A of your OTP noticing what might be pregnancy signs in Person B, but B’s completely oblivious to their own changes. Meanwhile, Person A enjoys teasing them until they start to catch on that there might be a bun in their oven!

“Let’s make a baby”

“I’d be a terrible mother”

“You’re on the pill, right?”

“I need to buy a pregnancy test”

“It’s positive”

“I’m going to be a father/mother?”

“Who’s the father/other mother?”

“But we used a condom”

“Are you going to find out the sex?”

“I can’t see my feet”

“That’s my baby in there”

“Have you thought about names yet?”

“Are you planning on raising this baby on your own?”

“It’s twins”

“The baby’s kicking”

“The baby’s coming”

“Push”

“So I took six tests… they’re all (positive/negative).”

“You took six tests and they’re all (positive/negative).”

“I’m pregnant… and I haven’t told (father’s/other mother’s name).”

“I know your pregnant, have you told (father’s/other mother’s name).”

“Ever since we found out about the baby, our sex life has died.”

“Ever since we found out about the baby our sex life has increased.”

“I swear if I could stay pregnant all the time I would.”

“I swear if I could have you stay pregnant all the time I would.”

“(I’ve/you’ve) gotten so horny ever since (I/you) got pregnant…”

“Baby, I know you’re pregnant, but can you please leave some pillows for me?”

“Do you even know who the father/other mother is?”

“I don’t want to know who the father/other mother is.”

1. “We’re going to be parents!“


2. “Did you feel him/her/them kick!?”


3. “Do you want to feel the baby?”


4. “I’m pregnant…and it’s yours.”


5. “Do you think I’ll make a good mother/father?“


6. “What are you hoping for?”


7. “I feel so nauseous today…”


8. “What should we name him/her/them?”


9. “How many diapers do you think we’ll need?”


10. “No I’m not crying over a puppy.”


11. “Is just strawberry okay? They didn’t have strawberries and cream.”

12. “I’ve read this book four times I’m basically an expert by now.”


13. “Boy or girl?”


14. “Wait, do we have everything on this list I found?”


15. “Can you put the crib together? I’m so tired.”


16. “This kid can come out anytime it’s ready.”


17. “Do you think I’m glowing?”


18. “How long till I’m due?”


19. “Please don’t freak out…but I’m pregnant. I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT.”


20. “Hospital. Now!”


21. “I think that was a contraction…”


22. “The due date’s not until next week!”

23. “I’m scared something bad will happen.”

24. “So I’ve been to the doctors recently and I’m pregnant.”

25. “Do we have any bacon left? I want bacon.”

26. “Why do I cry over everything?”

27. “I can’t wait for this baby to be born, then I can have a relax and we will have our baby.”

28. “I have to go for some maternity wear.”

29. “I’m too big. I have a massive bump.”

30. “You think I look beautiful?”

31. “This backache hurts.”

32. “I’ll be on the toilet for hours don’t let anyone come in.”

33. “People keep touching my bump. I don’t like it.”

34. “Do I repulse you? You haven’t touched me in weeks.”

35. “When can I have sex again?”

36. “Why can’t I walk properly? I have to walk with this pregnant waddle it’s not so satisfying.”

37. “I’m seriously considering strangling you for this but I’m in too much pain.”

38. “I’m having trouble sleeping, I don’t need you snoring which keeps me awake and makes me want to hit you.”

39. “I can’t see my feet, so you will have to wash my feet.”

40. “I’m eating for two, so don’t complain that I eat loads of food.”

41. “People keep saying rude things and I hate it.”

42. “I’m going to be breastfeeding.”

43. “My excuse for eating more food is that I am pregnant. What’s yours?”

44. “Did I ask for your comment?”

45. “Are you an authority on pregnant women and size?”

46. “Well, obviously you haven’t been around many pregnant women or you’d know much more about pregnancy etiquette.”

47. “Yeah, and I’m about to have a cow because you have so much insensitivity.”

48. “That’s rude, and it hurts my feelings. I’d rather you just sit there in silence than slam my self-esteem.”

49. “I hope we are having a boy/girl.”

50. “This baby is overdue, I need a curry or sex to get the baby out.”

51. “I want pickles, bacon and cheese. I want them now.”

52. “Can I get some ice cream please?”

53. “Did you by some more ginger ale?”

54. “Yes, I’m huge but if you remind me one more time, I’m going to eat you!”

55. “I’m posting my ultrasound on Facebook whether you like it or not!”

56. “My sweat pants are the only thing that fit me and they make me comfortable!”

57. “Honey, please fix me an M&M cookie and peanut butter and bacon sandwich!”

58. “I have to pee. I don’t care, I’m going again!”

59. “Yes I am still pregnant.”

“I’ve looked up things about your symptoms.. Are you pregnant?”

“You.. You’re pregnant?!”

“I’m gonna be a dad/mama.. I’m going to be a dad/mama!”

“I would never leave you.. I’m so excited for this baby.”

“As the aunt/uncle of this baby, it is my right to spoil it.”

“___ You two are not ready to have a baby, I can’t believe it.”

“Who’s the spawn of satan? You are!”

“Either that was a really bad cramp, or I’m having contractions.”

“Don’t be mad at me but… I think I might be pregnant..”

“You know how you said you’ve always wanted a family? Well.. now we have that chance. I’m pregnant!”

“The protection didn’t work, okay?! Now we’re having a baby!”

“We.. We can’t have a baby! Are you kidding me?!”

“Look at him/her.. She’s perfect.”

“If that stupid doctor tells me one more hour, i’m going to kill them!”

“Well I think you just broke my hand..”

“He left me when I told him…”

“What about adoption?”

“I went to the doctor.. and… well.. I don’t know how to say this..”

“That one night stand was the biggest mistake of our lives..”

“I’m pregnant and I have no idea who the father/mother is.”

“I’m scared, ____! I don’t know how to raise a baby!”

“The baby kicked!”

“It’s really hard to cuddle with you when i’m this fat..”

“I’m so helpless and fat, I hate being pregnant.”

“For the last time, you’re not fat. You’re pregnant.”

“I hate you for doing this to me..”

“You’re in labor?!”

“You alright? Is something wrong with the baby?”

“Shit.. hospital.. hospital now..!”

“It’s a boy/girl.”

“I want to name them ______”

i’m pregnant. ”

“ i’m pregnant and it’s yours. ”

“ why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant. ”

“ are you pregnant? ”

“ i need to tell you something. ”

“ i have money for abortion. ”

“ how much is an abortion? ”

“ maybe we can put it up for adoption? ”

“ i didn’t ask for this to happen. ”

“ what are we going to do? ”

“ i think i’m pregnant. ”

“ didn’t you use a condom? ”

“ i’m not on birth control. ”

“ it’s definitely yours, i’m not like that. ”

“ i don’t know who’s it is! ”

“ are you really pregnant? ”

“ congratulations on your pregnancy! ”

“ how far long are you? ”

“ it’s too late for abortion, i’m sorry. ”

“ so who is the babydaddy? ”

“ how does it feel to you know be pregnant and all? ”

“ are you going to keep it? ”

“ do you want to keep it? ”

“ did you tell anyone else about it? ”

“ we can raise it. ”

“ we can keep it. ”

“ i am not going through with this. ”

“ what are the options? ”

“ what did the pregnancy test come back as? ”

“ i need a pregnancy test. ”

“ i took a test. a pregnancy test. ”

“ did you get the test yet? ”

“ get more than one test, too. ”

“ it is yours! just as much as it is mine! ”

“ i’m pregnant and your going to help me. ”

“ i don’t want to tell anyone until i’m twelve weeks. past the risk for miscarriage. ”

“ i’m so sorry this happened. ”

“ this pregnancy is going to kill me. ”

“ i’m ready to give birth already. ”

“ how much does a pregnancy test cost? ”

“ can you still get pregnant on the pill? ”

“I’ve always wanted to be a mother/father!”

“We’ve waited a long time for this.”

“Do you want to feel the baby kick?”

“Give me your hand so you can feel it, too”

“We have to finish the nursery. There’s only two weeks left.”

“Have we bought everything on the baby list?”

“I can’t wait to finally hold it”

“You’re glowing!”

“There is something I have to tell you…”

“Hello little one, this is your daddy speaking..”

“I think it likes me touching your belly.”

“I can feel it kick!”

“My back aches and I want ice cream.”

“I can’t hide my bump any longer. I think we need to tell people.”

“I heard the heart beat for the first time.”

“Do you want to see an ultrasound picture?”

“You’re going to be an amazing mom/dad!”

“What would you say about adding one more? The house is big enough.”

“I think my water just broke…”

“Do you think it’s contractions?”

“Call the midwife, this is not a false alarm.”

“I think it’s too late to drive to the hospital, the baby is coming NOW.”

“I’m not ready for a baby.”

“How are we going to keep our family safe?”

“I don’t know how to be a mother/father.”

“I can’t even keep a cactus alive, let alone a human baby.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what now?”

“You’ve been having some weird cravings lately..”

“You’re going to me a father.”

“Uh babe, what’s with all of those pregnancy tests?”

“No way.. this test has to be wrong. Let me try another one.”

“The baby is yours.”

“What do you mean the baby is mine!?”

“The baby isn’t yours.”

“What do you mean the baby isn’t mine?!”

“You’re having someone else’s baby?! You’ve been cheating on me?”

“Surprise! I’m having a baby!”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“Oh my gosh! You’re pregnant? I’m so happy!”

“I’m going to be a father!”

“I’m going to be a mother!”

“I thought you would be happier to hear the news..”

“It’s our baby not just mine! You can’t leave me like this!”

“Our baby needs you too.”

“Come feel, the baby’s kicking.”

“Congratulations!”

“Do you want to come with me to the ultrasound?”

“We’re going to be parents. This is amazing!”

“Are you crying?”

“I am, it’s just that.. I’m just so happy! We’re going to have a child”

“We have so much to do! So much to plan.”

“I’m having twins/triplets/quadruplets/etc.”

“This was so unplanned. How are we going to do this?”

“Surprise baby shower!”

“I think the baby is coming.”

“My water broke.”

“What?! Now?”

“I wanna hold my baby!”

“Is the baby okay?”

“He/she has your eyes, _”

“He’s/She’s beautiful.”

“I can’t believe it. We’re parents of this little bundle of joy.”

little things (fluffy)

“You’re glowing.”

“Am I showing yet?”

“Is it too early to pick names?”

“Turn to the side, I think your belly popped out.”

“No one is going to judge you for wearing Uggs all day.”

“Was that a kick?”

“Should we find out the gender or wait?”

“It’s a (boy/girl/twins/etc)”

uncomfortable situations (clean)

“I pray for the day the morning sickness passes.”

“Are you sure you need two gallons of ice cream?”

“I don’t even like jalapenos.”

“You just be glad I don’t mind rubbing feet.

“I know the body pillow is bulky but it’s the only way I can sleep.”

“No, sweetheart, I don’t think you can still fit in your favorite jeans.”

“Stop laughing and help me off the toilet/out of the bathtub/put on my shoes/etc.”

“I slept on the couch because you and junior took up the whole bed.”

“Listen, when you have a tiny human being kicking you in the bladder, you can decide when we stop to pee. Now pull over.”

really uncomfortable situations (dirty)

“I need you right now. I blame the hormones.”

“You look so sexy since your belly popped out.”

“Look, I’m just gonna lie on my side and you can do whatever.”

“Fuck, I don’t know if it’s the increased bloodflow but that feels good.”

“No, you can’t poke the baby in the head if we have sex.”

“It turns me on so much knowing that’s my kid in there.”

“They say sex induces labor you know.”

the big event (mix)

“I think that was a contraction.”

“No, we are not stopping at the drive-thru on the way to the hospital.”

“I don’t care how much I scream, I want to do this naturally.”

“That was the midwife, she’s on her way.”

“I think you broke my hand…”

“I don’t think we have time to get to the hospital…”

“This is happening right now.”

“My/your water just broke.”

“I’m scared to push!”

“There’s nothing to be scared of, now PUSH!”

the reward (fluffy)

“I thought we were having a (boy/girl) but he/she had other plans.”

“He/she has your nose…”

“I always thought babies were ugly, but ours is beautiful.”

“Look what we made…”

“You just rest, I’ll make sure everything’s ready for when we get home.”

“You’d be pissed too if you just got forcibly evicted in such a fashion.”

“I’m/you’re/we’re pregnant!”

“I took six tests, and they all came out positive.”

“This isn’t a stomach flu, I/you ought to take a test.”

“I only took the test as a joke! I didn’t think it would turn out positive!”

“Okay, I know we both took the test, but now I don’t remember which one is which. One of us is pregnant.”

“Dude I bet you $50 you’re pregnant.”

“You’ve been too nice for too long, I think you’re pregnant.”

“You’re right, I am pregnant!”

“I can’t believe you knew I’m pregnant before I did!”

“Are you sure you’re only having one baby?”

“The Doctor said we’re having ______.”

“I found this pregnancy test in the trash.. Somebody we know is pregnant!”

the mother’s pov :

❝Do you want to feel the baby kick?❞  

❝I’m eating for two, so let’s go grab some grub.❞  

❝I’m… pregnant… and it’s yours.❞

❝We need to talk, I need to tell you something..❞  

❝I’m too far along for an abortion.❞   

❝I need to know… if you love me, if you love us..❞  

❝It’s your baby I’m carrying…❞   

❝I want to find out the gender with you there.❞  

❝I’m so lucky to have you by side during this pregnancy.❞  

❝I wouldn’t want anyone else by side during this pregnancy.❞  

❝Do you feel that? It’s the baby… it’s kicking.❞  

❝I’m pregnant, I can’t act like a child anymore.❞  

❝I’m pregnant, not incapable.❞

❝I’m sorry you’ve had deal with my pregnancy hormones lately…❞  

❝I just wanted to wait to tell you, I wanted to know for sure I was keeping it.❞  

❝I’m not sure what to do anymore but it is your baby…❞  

❝This is just as much as your baby as it is mine.❞  

❝People have told me I’m glowing lately and I know why…❞  

❝I’m ready to be mom! More than what you think!❞  

❝I will be a great mother to my child, unlike you!❞  

❝This is my decision! Not yours!❞  

the father’s pov :

❝How far along are you? When did you find out?❞  

❝Well, that’s great news! Isn’t it? I think so.❞  

❝Wait, are you telling me, its my baby?❞

❝Well, how do you know its my baby?❞  

❝You’re carrying my child?! That’s great news!❞  

❝I love you and I’m ready to be a parent with you.❞  

❝I wouldn’t want a baby with anyone else other than you.❞  

❝How long have you known? Have you told anyone else yet?❞  

❝Well, I’ll get a job and help support you and our baby.❞  

❝Hey… don’t worry so much, okay? We can raise it.❞  

❝It’s going to be okay, we can do this.❞  

❝I have the perfect plan for you, me and our baby… a good plan.❞  

❝I was thinking… since you’re pregnant and all, would you marry me?❞  

❝I love you so much, that’s great news after the day I had.❞  

❝As long as we’re happy, as long as the baby is happy.❞  

❝I’m not abandoning you or my baby!❞

❝I’m not walking out on my kid like my parents did.❞  

❝I’m going to be here for you and our baby.❞

❝Why would you want that for our baby? You’re talking nonsense.❞  

❝I’m ready to be a father and you’ll make the best mother.❞  

❝I have never felt so lucky!❞  

❝This baby is a blessing and probably saved my life.❞  

❝Did you hear? I’m going to be a dad!❞  

❝I’m going to officially be a dad in a few months!❞  

❝I’ll be a much better dad than you ever were to me that’s for sure.❞  

❝My girlfriend is pregnant and she’s keeping it and I want her to keep it.❞  

❝Don’t tell me anything about being a dad when you never were one for me!❞  

❝Are you serious?! You’re pregnant?! That’s amazing, baby!❞  

❝Well, do you need anything? Anything at all?❞  

❝What? Something wrong with the baby?❞  

❝I just want to keep you and our babt safe and happy.❞  

❝I’m the luckiest guy in the world right now!❞  

“I’ve never had a child before…”

“How about ______ for a name?”

“Does it hurt?”

“You need to rest.”

“Let me look after you!”

“You’re huge!”

“I want to feel it kick.”

“Can I feel the bump?”

“Come quick! The baby’s kicking!”

“How many months along are you?”

“Y-You’re pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“The baby is yours.”

“You’re beautiful, stretchmarks and all.”

“We’ll be okay, all three of us.”

“I’m so scared…”

“I love you more than I ever thought possible. Both of you.”

“These cravings of yours are getting out of hand…”

“I’m pregnant. What’s your excuse?”

“I don’t… I don’t feel well.”

“Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

“If you hold my hand any tighter, it’s gonna break!”

“I hate you for doing this to me!”

“I look like a whale.”

“So I guess it’s true. Pregnancy does make you horny.”

“We’re having twins!”

“Oh God, what if the baby is like us?”

“It’s a surprise, but it’s a happy surprise, right?”

“I thought birth was only suppose to be painful for the mother!”

“How could I be a good parent when the only example I could learn from were my own?”

“Will you be my baby’s Godmother/Godfather?”

“I know nothing about parenting.”

“I can’t wait for the baby shower!”

“We need to marry before the baby is born. You know how traditional my family is.”

“…Your list of baby names is physically painful to listen to.”

“It’s kicking, it’s kicking!”

“Well? Is it a boy or a girl?”

“I could really do with a massage right about now…”

“Why don’t you want me at the birth?”

“I never thought you of all people would be the mother/father of my child.”

“Oh My God, my/your waters broken!”

“This world, this horrible, horrible world…Why would anyone in their right mind want to bring a child into it?”

“Stop pestering me about its gender. I’m keeping it a surprise!”

“Will you be with me for the birth?”

“Oh. I was hoping for a boy/girl…”

“What do you think of the name [insert name here]?”

“Morning sickness. I hate it.”

"I'm pregnant.."

"I'll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick.."

"You're pregnant?! How did this happen?! No, no, no, wait, don't tell me how it happened, never mind.."

"Happy Father's Day, babe!"

"Wait... you're having a what?!"

"There's someone I'd like you to meet.."

"Shh... he/she's sleeping.."

"Why couldn't YOU have been the one to get pregnant?! Why me?! The bad shit always happens to ME!"

"I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me."

"He/She's killin' me, dude! When's he/she gonna come out?!"

"Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!"

"Either what I just felt was a contraction or just a cramp... not really sure.."

"I am not getting rid of another life! How dare you even suggest that!"

"No, no, no, no, no, we aren't ready... we aren't ready for kids yet!"

“I wanna record the delivery.”

“I’m really scared of needles.”

“Since I’m due so close to [insert holiday], we should paint my belly like that.”

“Let’s do that belly cast thing!”

“The baby always moves when they hear your voice.”

“Little one’s getting cramped in there. Almost time to come out.”

“I’m excited to see my feet again.”

“I’m huge!”

“Come rub my belly!”

“The baby is moving, come and feel!”

“I think that was a real contraction.”

“It’s just more Braxton Hicks, don’t worry.”

“They don’t hurt, they’re just uncomfortable.”

“If you’re full term at 37 weeks, then why is pregnancy 40 weeks?”

“It is midnight on my due date and I am still pregnant.”

“You know due dates aren’t always right.”

“I don’t want the baby to be born on my birthday.”

“Come out, kid!”

“I’ve tried everything and they won’t come.”

“I can see it when the baby/ies moves! Wow!”

“Let’s get this stubborn little kid(s) out the same way we made him/her/them.”

“The baby/babies moving hurts now, it’s not cute anymore.”

“I am almost two weeks overdue. Proceed with caution.”

LABOR

“I can’t believe it’s already time.”

“Did you remember the bag?”

“My water didn’t break yet, don’t freak out.”

“I’ve been timing them and they’re consistent enough. Just gotta wait for them to get closer.”

“This is not as bad as I thought it would be.”

“I’m pretty sure my water broke.”

“I am not accountable for anything I say, but I do apologize beforehand.”

“Transition is the worst part.”

“I’m gonna miss everything.”

“One last bump shot before the big event.”

“I made a birth plan.”

“Babies laugh at birth plans.”

“This is so boring. I thought labor was supposed to be nerve-wracking.”

“I’m sorry I’m so loud, but it helps.”

“You make as much noise as you want. It’s perfectly normal.”

“Ohhh! OOOOOOHHH! SHIIIIT!”

“Just breathe, you’re okay.”

“Is it too late to get an epidural?”

“Is the midwife on her way?”

“Can you set up the pool, please?”

“Fuck, it hurts!”

“I don’t wanna push on my back.”

“Hoo-hoo-hoo…”

“Make it stop!”

“I feel like I’m in a vice, but between them I’m fine.”

“I just want the baby safe.”

“Fuck breathing, you have the baby!”

BIRTH

“I feel so much pressure…”

“Oh, I think it’s go time.”

“I really need to push!”

“Get the camera, get the camera!”

“Don’t push yet, the doctor isn’t here.”

“What position do you wanna do this in?”

“I scared I won’t know how to push.”

“It’s instinct. You’ll know. I promise.”

“Only push when you have a contraction.”

“Grab behind your knees and bear down.”

“Don’t you dare laugh at the faces I make when I push.”

“Let gravity help, you’re doing great.”

“This position isn’t working. Let’s try something new.”

“Come on, push your baby out.”

“I’ve been pushing for [x amount of time], why isn’t it coming out?”

“My head feels like it’s gonna explode!”

“NNGH! HHNNNGGHH!”

“It burns!”

“Just a few more pushes, good job.”

“FUUUCCKK!”

“If you tell me ‘good job’ one more time, I will wring your neck!”

“Push, babe, push!”

“Shut up, I’m pushing!”

“I’m too tired, I can’t do it.”

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

[scarletwelly-boots]

Books Read 2019

It’s time again for my annual books read post (a little earlier than usual, but I couldn’t wait). I read 24 books in 2019, 4 books more than last year, though two are in progress and I expect to finish them by the new year.

It is year four of the reading challenge from Popsugar. There were 48 categories this year, so I got 50% again. Unlike last year, I did not change any categories, but I may have taken liberties with some again, we’ll see. So, without further ado, let’s begin the list. [Under the cut]

1. How to Train Your Dragon, by Cressida Cowell (A book becoming a movie in 2019). Okay, so there have already been two movies in this series, but the last one (*sob*) came out this year, so it counts. I read this book and a few of the others in the series a few years ago, but revisited the first one this year. It’s really good, but don’t go into it expecting it to be like the movies. The character names are the same, but that’s about it. If you can get your hands on the audiobook version, it’s read by David Tennant, which is excellent. Definitely recommend; it’s just as good as the movies.

2. Little House in the Big Woods, by Laura Ingalls Wilder (A book that makes you nostalgic). This is another reread. My dad read the whole series aloud to my sister and I when we were barely older than Laura is in the first book. It was the series he read before the Harry Potter books came out, and we both got sucked into that series. So yeah, very nostalgic. This is a series of semi-autobiographical stories chronicling Wilder’s pioneer childhood, and this is the first in the series. Some of the language doesn’t really age well, but for the most part it’s a delightful book.

3. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, by Hank Green (a book you think should be turned into a movie). Holy. Shit. I was very, very pleasantly surprised by Hank Green’s debut novel (and yes, John Green is his brother). This is a mysterious book about first encounters and internet fame, with a queer young adult (like, really YA, as in post-college) protagonist. She’s kind of shitty sometimes, but I would argue all twenty-somethings are shitty sometimes (I mean, I literally typed “*sob*” two entries up, like I’m channeling my 2009 self, and I didn’t delete it.). I would highly, highly recommend. And apparently, SOMEDAY, there’s supposed to be a sequel, thank GOD.

4. Loki: Agent of Asgard, by Jason Ewing (a reread of a favorite book). I could actually get away with a reread for this one! I love this graphic novel series. I love how they depict Loki, how he finally gets a goddamn redemption arc. It’s a really fun read. Check it out.

5. The Beast Within, by Serena Valentino (a book inspired by mythology, legend, or folklore). A companion novel to Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I don’t really remember much about this book. It was weird. But like, it plays with the timeline and the curse a little bit, where the beast gets cursed but doesn’t become a beast immediately. He slowly transforms as his behavior gets worse and more cruel. Apparently he used to be friends with Gaston, but Gaston forgot about him once he finally transformed. Really weird. If you’re obsessed with this fairytale like I am, give it a shot. If not, it probably won’t be that interesting.

6. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen (a book you see someone reading on TV or in a movie). Another reread. I know it’s a classic, but I seriously just love this book. 

7. Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diane Wynne Jones (a book about someone with a superpower). Another reread of a favorite book, what can I say. The movie is my favorite movie, but the book is better.

8. Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell (a book told from multiple character POV’s). Okay, listen. I had to reread this book, because it had been a few years and the sequel came out this year. Think of this as generic brand Harry Potter if Draco was a vampire, was Harry’s roommate, and helplessly in love with Harry. I’m serious, it’s generic brand. But damn if I don’t love it. @JKR, this could be us but Harry had to be the jock that married his high school sweetheart and grew up to be a cop. Definitely read.

9. Franny and Zooey, by JD Salinger (a book with no chapters/unusual chapter headings/unconventionally numbered chapters). My brother got me this book for my birthday. Before this I had only read Catcher in the Rye, which I started out hating when I was fourteen but turned into loving when I was nineteen. Honestly I think this novel is better than that one. I really loved it. Highly recommend. What’s it about? Who the fuck knows? But to quote my brother: “At its core, I think this book is about a smart brother and a smart sister. I think we can relate.” So read it and buy it for the smart brother or sister or sibling in your life.

10. 1916, by Tim Pat Coogan (read a book during the season it is set in). This is an Irish history book about the Easter Rising of 1916 and (what I didn’t know when I started reading it in April) everything that came after that can trace its cause back to the rebellion, all the way to the centennial of the Rising. The Easter Rising was the catalyst of Irish freedom. It was like the Boston Tea Party of Ireland, rather than the Battle of Yorktown (as in it kickstarted the War for Independence but didn’t immediately result in freedom), that is, if the instigators of the Boston Tea Party were rounded up, imprisoned in Kilmainham Gaol, and a week later almost all executed by firing squad. It’s a tedious read if you’re not into Irish history or history in general, but I enjoyed it.

11. Loki: Where Mischief Lies, by Mackenzi Lee (a book set in space). Okay, technically it takes place on Asgard and Earth, but those are planets, and planets are in space, so it counts! I’m still reading it, but I really like it so far. (Honestly I maybe just like the idea of Loki in knee high black boots marketed towards women and black nails. I never promised not to be gay.)

12. Norse Mythology, by Neil Gaiman (a book set in Scandinavia). I’m sorry! I read this book every year. Neil Gaiman is an amazing writer, and we all know I’m gay as shit for some good Loki tales. 

13. Artemis Fowl, by Eoin Colfer (a book that takes place in a single day). Okay, I know people love this fantasy series, and since it’s Irish I fully expected to, too. But I didn’t like any of the characters enough to read the rest of the series, least of all Artemis himself. I struggle to enjoy stories if I don’t like the main character, and Artemis was kind of a shit. Sorry, I did not like this one.

14. Skulduggery Pleasant, by Derek Landy (a debut novel). I just started this one, too, but I really like it already. I think the audiobook is read by the same guy that read Artemis Fowl, but already this is way better than that one. The characters are likable, for one (god, the bar is so low for fantasy books for me right now). It’s a mystery and a fantasy, and the main-ish character is literally an anthropomorphic skeleton detective. It’s excellent. I’m going to read the whole series. (I have to; my mom accidentally got me the 12th installment for my birthday.)

15. Red, White, and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston (a book that’s published in 2019). I read this twice. It’s so beautiful. I really expected it to be a shitty YA novel, but it wasn’t! It was very romantic (once they stopped “hating” each other), and gay. The premise sounds far-fetched: First Son of the United States falls for the Crown Prince of England. But, guys, it’s soooo gooooood. Highly, highly, highly recommend. 

16. The Wisconsin Road Guide to Mysterious Creatures, by Chad Lewis (a book featuring an extinct or imaginary creature). I mean, you can make your own decision whether these cryptids are real or imaginary. This is a travel guide to cryptids in Wisconsin, which I got on vacation earlier this year. I liked it, but reading a road guide for pleasure is admittedly kind of weird. Recommend if you’re planning a road trip through Wisconsin and want to stop at some cryptid, ghostly, or Nessie-like hotspots. Or if you just want to fuck Mothman, like me. (Dustybae’s not in this particular travel book though.)

17. Take Me With You, by Andrea Gibson (a book recommended by a celebrity you admire). Okay, so it was by a celeb I admire, not recommended by. This is a very quick read, of quotes from Gibson’s poetry. They are a queer spoken word poet with some really good pieces. They’re on spotify and apple music, probably among other sources. Recommend their work, but the book is very short, so maybe only purchase if you enjoy their work.

18. This is How it Always Is, by Laurie Frankel (a book about a family). This book was really, really good. It was passed around the aunts in my family until it got to my mom and I, which was really kind of a magical thing. It’s about a family navigating the challenges and gifts of raising a trans child. I cried a couple times, and it was so good. It’s written by a parent of a trans child, so it came from a place of understanding, and it was interesting to read this type of narrative from a parent’s perspective, when usually being genderfluid myself, I tend to consume media that is from the perspective of trans characters themselves. I had some very interesting conversations with my aunts and mom about it, and I really think this book changed my family a little bit, and I didn’t expect it to change me, too. Highly recommend. 

19. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Suzanne Clark (a book that includes a wedding). So the wedding is at the very beginning, and sadly not between Strange and Norrell. But it’s really good. Lots of magic, lots of regency-era Britishness. The book is huge, but there is a miniseries on Netflix based on the novel and that’s really good too. Highly recommend, and still in love with my man John Childermass. Hnng.

20. Wayward Son, by Rainbow Rowell (a book by an author whose first and last names start with the same letter). Sequel to Carry On. Sheer madness. I loved it. Think of it as generic brand Harry Potter post-DH, if Harry sprouted dragon wings during the final battle, is gay as shit for Draco, and a year later Harry, Draco, and Hermione are set loose on America with .5 seconds of research, severe culture shock, one cell phone between them, and a half-assed plan to rescue Ginny who may or may not want to be rescued. Shit show, but well done and I’m fully invested and ready for the third installment.

21. Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman (a book with a two-word title). I’m sorry, I need to shift to caps for this. GUYS I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORY YOU HAVE NO IDEA IT IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER COME INTO MY WORLD! I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE WATCHED THE AMAZON SERIES THIRTEEN TIMES TO DATE AND IMMEDIATELY DEVOURED THE BOOK IN THREE DAYS. You don’t know what it’s about? Where have you BEEN?! An angel and a demon who are gay as shit for each other and love humanity way more than either of their respective sides. One downside is that as the miniseries came out like twenty years after the novel, my two favorite parts were only written for the series, and are not in the novel. But the book is still very, very good. 15/10.

22. Dumplin’, by Julie Murphy (a book revolving around a puzzle or game). I took game to mean competition, so this is about a beauty competition. I watched the Netflix movie first. I honesty thought I was not gonna like it, but holy shit it was amazing. Admittedly I think the movie was better (despite having Jennifer Aniston in it), but the book was really good, too. Recommend.

23. The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde (your favorite prompt from a past Popsugar reading challenge; a book with a queer protagonist). God, please read this book. This has been up there in my list of favorite books since I was fourteen. Oscar Wilde is a master storyteller, and Dorian Gray is intriguing and despicable and beautiful. I’ve already read this, but I love it too much not to.

24. Terrible Queer Creatures, by Brian Lacey (a book set in an abbey, cloister, monastery, vicarage, or convent). Okay, so it’s not set there for the whole book, but gay monks and nuns are things. This was another birthday present, and an absolute hit. Combining two of my favorite things: Irish history and queer history. I had no idea a book like this existed. I’m still really excited about it. The only issue I have is that most of the one chapter dedicated to gay women involve biographies of people that were actually probably trans men, like Dr. Barry. They could have probably had a separate chapter and then a chapter of the clear lesbians and bisexual women (including trans women, of course). Lumping them in with the women in a chapter specifically dedicated to queer women did not seem particularly inclusive. But overall I really enjoyed the book.

Top Ten Books of 2019 post will be forthcoming.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #399

“i was raised by the devil’s own kin, taught me that a good time was never a sin”

Do you like wine? NOOOOOOO that shit is gross. Explain the grossest thing that's ever happened to you? Having an infected pilonidal cyst drained. Would you rather go on holiday somewhere warm or somewhere cold? Cold, for sure. What would be your ideal pet? I reeeeaaaally want a very visibly sunset morph ball python one day. The really pretty ones are expensive as fuck, but omg, I want one so badly. What was the last book you were required to read for school? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. It was fantastic. Would you chew somebody else's gum? EW FUCK NO. What was the last type of meat you ate? Chicken. How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Whenever they wanted, as long as a professional did it. Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Probably McDonald's. Bats are not spooky or are they? I adore bats. Do you like the song "Womanizer?" Unabashedly, yes, haha. I love the beat and it's really catchy. Do you know how to change a tire? Nope. How big is your backyard? Very small. What is your favorite Nintendo 64 game? I've actually never played a Nintendo 64. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? I don't want any. Does a career in finance sound interesting to you? Absolutely not. When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I. HATE. Beans. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Those that deny the existence of dinosaurs. Fossils don't lie. Do you like strawberry shortcake? No. What’s your favorite dessert? That's so hard, but probably cheesecake. What’s the last you got out of the freezer? Vanilla ice cream. Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? Sara. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Yes. Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? No. If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? No. What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? My APAP mask. Insurance covered it way more than even the women in the office were used to so had to look into it. Insurance has been nice to me lately, from TMS to this. What was the last reason you took medicine? I had a massive headache. Any important birthdays coming up? My older sister's was today, and her eldest daughter's is in two days. Mark's birthday is the 28th, and that's like a holiday in my book lmao. What colour are your headphones? These earplugs are pink. How do you express your creativity? I mostly write RP and rarely poems. I also like to draw sometimes, and I'm big into photography. Gypsies or gnomes? Gypsies. Dragons or fairies? Dragons are my favorite mythological creatures. Elves or pixies? Elves. Where is your favourite place to get breakfast? Maybe Cracker Barrel? Or Waffle House. What was the first sport you learned how to play? I want to say soccer. I hated it. Nickname you’re called the most? "Britt" is the most used. Do you sleep on your stomach? I can't now with my mask. -_- That's how I usually slept. Have you ever been called a bitch? Yes. Would you ever want a super-realistic baby doll? Fuuuuuuuuuck no. I don't like dolls, never mind realistic ones. Ladybugs or bumblebees? Ladybugs. <3 What is the best thing that ever happened to you? My first round of a partial hospitalization program and meeting my psychiatrist. Both that therapy and proper medication is the reason I'm alive. What is something really hurtful someone you love has said to you? That I was an "ungrateful bitch." What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? One for advanced ball python husbandry. There are some SERIOUS elitists in there, but it does have great information. Did your mom ever own a typewriter? I think she did? We used to have one, so. What would you have your bridesmaids wear? Maybe orange. I want to wear a black dress and get married in the fall, so, Halloween vibes! :') Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? I think Alaska. Do you wear a watch every day? I never do. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? No, thankfully. Not yet, anyway. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I am much happier with pets. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. Have you been hurt more by friend break-ups or romantic break-ups? Romantic ones. Who is/was the best friend you have ever had? Sara. Do you own a trenchcoat? No, but I wish. They're badass. Name the hardiest piece of technology you own? My iPod that I've had since middle school. That bitch STILL works, and I use it heavily. Are you currently in a smoking environment? No; people aren't allowed to smoke in our house. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? My old friend Alex did. I don't know if I can call her my "friend" anymore because I haven't seen or heard from her in well over a year at the bare minimum. Do you ever not speak to someone because you’re afraid you’ll annoy them? STORY OF MY LIFE. Is there any drama going on in your circle of friends? No. But I don't really have a "circle" of friends to begin with. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I don't go on rollercoasters. If given the opportunity, would you act in a commercial? No. Do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? No. How many pills do you currently take a day? Ugh... Now keep in mind this number encompasses medications that I just have to take a larger dose of that particular med; I don't take this number of different prescriptions. AS a whole though, I take uhhh. Somewhere around nine or ten in the morning, and six at night. I might be off about my morning pills. What do you take medication for? Bipolarity and depression, anxiety, OCD, severe heartburn, even more intense nightmares, uhhh... maybe I'm forgetting others? Idk, man. I'm on too many. Have you ever had a bag stolen? No. What class from high school did you love the most? Art. What class did you hate the most? Economics. If you don’t have a car, do you wish you did? Not at this very moment, because it'd be useless as I don't currently drive. Have you ever had a job you loved? Nope. What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? I just eat normal fries when they're offered. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? No. Have you ever written a poem for someone? At least twice. Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes. Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? I think only my grandmother has done that. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve meet online? Sara. Have you friended your parents on FB? Mom, yes, while Dad doesn't have one. What do you absolutely have to have to make your birthday feel special? My family. Mice or roaches? I love mice, but roaches creep me out. Have you ever received a gift and truly did not know what it was? Yes. A family friend is good at that. Is there anyone whose grave you visit? No. Do you like being in pictures? NO. Do you travel a lot? Not at all. Have you ever eaten a dog treat? No. I've eaten a guinea pig treat though, haha. And it wasn't awful. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, but turns out my alcohol tolerance is too high while only liking weak alcohol to begin with. Have you played cards recently? No. Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don't do that, I'd get way too dizzy, and besides, I don't want a headache. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I've been wondering if I should (for the most part) abandon human photography. I've lost so much passion for it, and besides, I feel like I'm going nowhere with it. I know I really, really shouldn't, though. Have you ever captured a moth? I put a caterpillar in one of those little plastic habitats once as a kid that grew into a moth. I then released it, of course. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? It's been months. Do you have a really fat cat? No, he's healthy. Do your initials spell a word? No. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yes, that was my favorite! Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multiplication times tables? No. Do your parents allow you to have your privacy? Yes. Have you ever been severely burned? No. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I've had many, actually. Guess with who. What was the weirdest thing you've ever seen cross the road? I want to say a turkey? Or maybe it was beside the road.

[onceabluemoonwrites]

KHR girls: Where Canon Went Wrong

Hey guys! As a writer of fanfiction and someone who loves writing female characters, I’ve been trying to narrow down just why even the not-blatantly-sexualised female characters in KHR leave such a bad aftertaste. In canon, mind you, not fanon. I’m shocked by the magnitude of what I found, actually. It’s… So incredibly BIG.

Every time I write a KHR woman for the first time, I… Flounder, and feel lost. And they often have this bad aftertaste when reading canon material, and I wanted to know WHY so I could narrow it down and know EXACTLY what to fix in my fix-canon fics. 

The parts in italics are by @i-w-p-chan .

Buckle up, this is a long post!

Fighting

Bianchi & I-Pin both use food (more on the women & the kitchen association under Kitchen). Bianchi is one of the most dangerous assassins in the world, so that’s a pro. Sadly, it’s one of the few pros.

I-Pin has stepped out of the mafia/triads by the time she’s fifteen, as shown by her TYL version. While this is a very sensible choice and obviously what Fon wanted for her, this makes her another female character who technically stopped fighting while all the males around her kept fighting on.  Kyoko, Haru, Hana and Nana are the most featured non-mafia characters. All female, decidedly not fighters. 

Chrome should be commended for her skills- she was able to impersonate Yamamoto perfectly. That takes an enormous amount of practice and eye for details. More on Chrome: See Kitchen.

M.M. fought and was defeated by the only other girl fighting.

Bluebell. Bluebell DIDN’T participate in choice. Zakuro didn’t either, but Bluebell was the only female funeral wreath.

Yuni only wins from Byakuran by self-sacrifice in the Future Arc.

She was scared of actually dying until Gamma came over to her. so she didn’t even get to do THAT by herself.

On Pantera: She’s obviously deadly, but Longchamp keeps LAUGHING at her assassination attempts like they’re nothing!

Introductions

Kyoko and Hana’s ‘’generic conversation about a guy’’. (Chapter 1) (See me fixing this conversation here)

Nana putting Tsuna down like he has no future? This doesn’t fit with EVERYTHING we later learn about her! (Chapter 1)

Haru ends up saying she wants to MARRY Tsuna by the end of her introductory chapter.

Bianchi’s ‘’Reborn, Reborn, Reborn!’’ and just… Trying to kill Tsuna because he’s just an obstacle between her and her boyfriend? See me when I’m done screaming out of frustration for this abomination of an introduction done to a woman that should, by all means, be one of the most deadly assassins in the world.

Longchamp’s ‘’Ugly girlfriends’’. (More about this under Because All Women Care About Are Men (and Family))

Chapter 227, the first image of the real six funeral wraths! Everybody looks freakin’ terrifying EXCEPT BLUEBELL, SHE’S JUST SLEEPING??!!

Shittopi-chan. Okay. The second female member of the Simon. That’s more women than the other sets of Elements have! I’m happy with that, but I would have been happier if they hadn’t sexualised Adel so much. And while I love Shittopi and her amazing steadfast belief in herself and her great confidence and wouldn’t have her any other way, it stands out to me that well… The first thing that happens after her introduction is Gokudera calling her a U.M.A. A freaking Unidentified Mysterious Animal.  

Handled well: Adel (chapter 283), Oregano (Chapter 112, reasonable), Lal Mirch (Chapter 112), Daniela (Chapter 158), Chrome (Chapter 113- Her entrance was fabulous).

The Kitchen

There’s nothing wrong with the kitchen. That’s where the knives are, after all! *grins* But sadly, as a woman, I know more than a thing or two about ‘’women belonging in the kitchen,’’ and ‘’make me a sandwich, woman.’’

This is the shit I’m talking about: 

Kyoko & Hana: Cooking class. Only girls. Ew. No. 

Also, in the future arc Kyoko, Haru, Bianchi and even CHROME were on kitchen duty. Kyoko and Haru were “doing what they could,” as is said in canon, but with how much time Bianchi spends with them, couldn’t they have learned how to sharpen knives or something? Besides, it was vital for them to know how to protect themselves in order not to be a liability.

Pretty much, I wanted to see Kyoko and Haru do ANYTHING besides cooking and doing the laundry!

And CHROME?! Sure, she was sick, but what a mighty coincidence! The only female guardian ending up in the kitchen while the rest of them trains and powers up!

And what was especially f*** awful about the future arc was that it TRIED TO JUSTIFY it by “we are doing what we can.’’

I love the bonding moments between the girls in the future arc, BUT WHAT WAS BIANCHI DOING THERE? EVERYBODY WAS BUSY! FUUTA WAS ALMOST NEVER THERE! FUUTA IS A TOO-TALL 18-YEAR-OLD BABY WHO NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED, WHY BE YOU OUT THERE WHILE THE EXPERIENCED HITMAN IS IN THE FREAKING KITCHEN?!!

There is another thing about the girls being put on kitchen duty: you realize how many people they’ll be cooking for and cleaning after? And how many of them are growing teenagers constantly training? That’s not something any 14-year-old girl would know how to do just by virtue of being a girl.

Consider: if Kyoko ever cooked meals at home, it would be just for her parents and Ryohei and herself. That’s four. Haru is a lone child, that’s three. The situation just doesn’t make any sense! Why couldn’t they have like, had a rotating schedule for cleaning and cooking shifts alongside training? Or heck, why isn’t there any worker tasked with the kitchen duty?

Kept in the Dark

Excerpt from Bianchi’s wiki page:

’‘Bianchi again comes to the foreground as a tutor right before Choice, but this time to Chrome. They train in hand-to-hand combat, with I-Pin to help out. During the girls’ strike, she supports Haru and Kyoko’s decision to stop doing housework until the boys tell them what’s going on. However, she also tells them what the boys are most likely thinking, and convinces them to call the strike off.”

She was Gokudera’s tutor before. But Bianchi convincing them to put the strike off? That was a slap in my face, lady! They’ve got a RIGHT to be pissed off, they’re far away from home, in the middle of a war, and you keep them in the dark! They don’t know what’s going on at all! AND THIS:

“Bianchi is first briefly seen watching Reborn worriedly when he awoke from his dream, and later seen again observing while Nana is angered at Tsuna for badmouthing Iemitsu, his father. Later, she was seen carrying an unconscious Nana who fainted after being hit by Iemitsu’s blood while wondering why Nana had to go through such an ordeal. She then requests that they make it so that when Nana wakes up, she will think it was a dream.”

Nana- seemingly obvious, has an overseas husband, “airheaded”? My God. No. Not to mention what the freakin’ anime did with her. All expressions GONE like that! Lal’s place as one of the strongest seven in the world was stolen by Colonello, no matter how well-meant it was.

Sexualization

Adel’s ZIPPER.

Iris Hepburn seduced a couple of scientists to do what she wanted- not manipulated, they say she “charmed and seduced”. Ugh. 

Also, not truly sexualized, but definitely need to be noted: Bluebell’s nudity (See Young girls, old men, nudity and being creeped on) and that one scene in the anime (I can’t quite recall if it was in the manga too) in which Gamma remembers Aria.

How? Oh, just, you know, him crawling through her open window shirtless, and her sitting up in bed, clutching the bedding to her obviously naked front while aiming a gun at him.

Also, what is it with Chrome and being attacked by tentacles? First Mammon with the tentacle illusion, then Glo Xinia!

Also, the nude shots of the girls in some very pin-up girl poses in the bathroom scene of the Future Arc (chapter 237) were horrible!

Young girls, old men, nudity and being creeped on

The KHR thing with young girls just… *shiver* For a show about fourteen-year-old kids, there are a LOT of creepers.

Chrome is the biggest victim of it, though sadly, not the only one. Glo Xinia made me so f*** uncomfortable- honestly, he was creeping on Chrome too. The Simon arc and Chrome with Daemon sends my skin crawling every time.

Also, the Byakuran hypnotizing Yuni? Yeah. Older guy controlling younger girl, the whole thing giving you the creeps? Chrome and Daemon, anyone?

Also, you remember Bluebell’s introduction? When she was climbing out of the water and one of the other Funeral Wreaths (I don’t remember which one) telling her something about proper lady manners or something along those lines? 

On Bluebell: I checked (chapter 239) and not only does Zakuro comment on her flat chest! Bluebell gets angry at him in a rather childish manner, but when she calls out Kikyo to defend her, he goes: “Zakuro’s just lashing out because he’s jealous of how cute you are.”

Zakuro: “Not likely.”

And then KIKYO SAYS: “Now, Bluebell, you are a girl, so how about you stop spreading your legs in that unsightly manner?”

And Bluebell’s only reaction to this is to close her legs (she was naked, but if she’s already naked in their vicinity, then what? It’s obviously normal for her? Not to mention that’s she’s naked during her INTRODUCTION SCENE?

And the weird thing is, while I’m happy they do treat her like a child, she’s fifteen! They make comments about her chest! And the “treating her like a child” thing is mostly not seeing her as a woman from Kikyo’s standpoint- aka, she’s not sexualized entirely.

It just f*** me up because they still make comments that are really sexist and could be seen as sexualization- not to mention that it’s that kind of freaking patriarchy superior bullshit that KEEPS her from growing up! My gosh) and complaining more about Zakuro!

Also, was it just me or were the Gamma and Yuni overtones rather romantic? Because they felt like it. And Yuni’s what? Fourteen? Thirteen? Fifteen if we’re pushing it? That’s ANOTHER young girl and an older man.

Yeeppppp. from A-Z from their ‘I feel about you the same way my mother did’ (which??? is big ?????????) until Yuni sacrifices herself.

Disease and Disability

Sick characters? Injuries, disease and mental illnesses not caused by battle wounds? Here’s a list:

Yamamoto (broken arm, depression)

Gokudera (trauma)

Hibari (though technically Sakura kura was administered by a weapon too)

Tsuna (skull disease- caused, once again, by weapons- the dying will bullets)

Ryohei (ADHD heavily implied)

Byakuran (What’s happening in his head? I don’t know, but it certainly wasn’t good for his mental health)

Chrome (no organs, repeatedly a problem when Mukuro does not come to the rescue)

Bluebell (parental abuse through neglect, paralyzed legs and trauma from seeing the car accident that ended her brother’s life)

 Luce, Aria, Yuni (Arcobaleno curse, results in early death)

 Lal Mirch (the only Arcobaleno visibly seen suffering the effects of Byakuran’s anti-Arcobaleno gass or whatever it was)

Lavina (fatal disease).

I love representation of disease and disability if done right, but looking at the list and the topic of this post, I’d say my point has been made. Also, an interesting observation: While the men do seem to deal with mental illnesses, the rest seem to be solely resting on the shoulders of the women.

Because All Women Care About Are Men (and Family)

Bianchi’s few star moments were mostly dominated by statements about love and her ex-boyfriend- though the future arc had her being AWESOME!

Akiko Irie- Shoichi’s sister. Wanna know what her wiki article says? This is under “History” :

“Not much is known about her but it is known that she has a boyfriend.”

Because that’s obviously all we need to know! Don’t even get me STARTED on Longchamp’s girlfriends- 'cause that’s their role! Girlfriend only! (Not to mention the “oh he falls for ugly girls,” thing. Like, seriously?)

Elena is near perfect- great ideals, hints at layered character- but even she is in the end almost solely remembered for the fact that she was Daemon’s wife/lover. She was clearly a vital member of the Primo generation, yet no guardian and completely forgotten because nobody recognized her? Tsuna must have been vetted extensively on the past bosses and their family as the Vonogola heir, yet he didn’t recognize her or had any idea about her existence.

Magi- the Simon child in the last Cozart memory in the Simon arc- Cozart stated that he and Giotto believed that Magi’s descendants would someday be able to laugh together with the Vongola descendants.  He and Giotto talked about this? Why not their own descendants (besides the fact that Cozart is obviously gay for Giotto, but that’s never confirmed)? Why think about Magi’s descendants? She’s a child! Once again: are you going to start this early with “that’s the only thing we need to know about this female side character”? 

Major pet peeve: MM being pitted against female characters. I still loathe the MM-Chrome interaction in the future arc where she slaps Chrome with all of my being.

YES! Like, the only interaction we’ve seen from MM is her swooning over Mukuro, her fighting Bianchi, her threatening and/or slapping Chrome OVER MUKURO and her complaining to Fran about him pronouncing her name wrong.

M.M.’s wiki entry personality summary: 

‘’She cares a lot about fashion and money, and prefers to date rich men. M.M. can be blunt and has a short temper. Despite this, she does have a caring side. She clearly has an interest in music.’’

Curse of the Rainbow arc? Oh, she’s there! But what a surprise- Levi’s interested in her and she’s all like: I’ll go on a date with you, but you’ll have to pay me for it!

Levi: The price is too high! 

There’s nothing wrong with hookers, it’s an honest profession, but as far as we know M.M. isn’t one!

Adel’s canon relationship with Julie. While Julie’s appearances have been mostly Daemon in disguise and therefore not actually good source material, the way she was reduced to a blushy mess, losing all composure suddenly over him… It felt like they took away a part of her.

Adel should be the one to have people being reduced into blushy messes and composure-losses over her. 

Chrome is subject to Mukuro’s whims. For the clearest example: Mukuro’s behaviour in the future arc. However, this eventually does lead to Chrome learning to stand in her own power in the Inheritance Arc. However, on the Inheritance arc: Chrome is the one abducted. Chrome is the one creeped on by Daemon.

There are things that I have a bone to pick with, the first one that pops into my head is how the girls are just there to cook and clean in the future arc. and then the part when the girls are in the bath and they see the wound Chrome has from training, I don’t remember the exact wording of the dialogue at that moment, but I remember that it made me want to punch something.

I found the accompanying scene:

Mochida treating Kyoko like a freaking prize and Kyoko never getting to punch him for it.

The list is endless.

Saviors

Kyoko gets rescued by Tsuna from Mochida. TYL!Kyoko gets rescued by Tsuna!

Haru is saved from drowning by Tsuna!

Chrome is constantly being saved by Mukuro, Ken and Chikusa. Her very life depends on this. Next to her organs, see Glo Xinia and many other instances.

This list would be VERY long if I went after every single instance in the manga.

Character Development

Where is my female character development? 'Cause I’m only seeing it in Bianchi, Chrome, Adel and Shittopi!

Conclusion

The Cervello are one of the few where little is to be said about. Daniela is the only non-villain(like appearance) besides Mami. Mami, who is one of the only female side characters that’s actually handled well. She’s believable, she’s the traumatic nightmare haunting Enma.

Oregano is also handled reasonably well (though I have to say, people, PLEASE stop making her the woman Iemitsu cheats on Nana within fanfiction). Sepira is good!

But the rest? The headlines in this post speak for themselves.

What I need, my friends, is for Operation: KHR Fix It Female to start Right. Now.

If I’m wrong on any of these points, guys, please tell me, because I’d LOVE to be wrong! To quote @i-w-p-chan: I need my fucking war axe.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?: I didn’t like anyone 4 months ago.

When’s the last time you screamed really loud?: Probably the last time I had a spider on me !!!

Where do you want to live when you are older?: I’m happy living with my family, but I’d love for us to live somewhere else.

When was the last time you were sick?: I often don’t feel all that great, but as far as an actual virus or something of the sort I had a cold a few months ago.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?: My dad and brother.

What is the relationship between you and the last person you kissed?: There isn’t one. We haven’t seen or talked to each other in almost 5 years and I don’t see that changing.

Are all of your friends in relationships?: “All my friends” ha.

Name something you disliked about the day you had today?: It’s only 4 in the morning, but I’m feeling kinda crappy and I’m in pain right now.

How long was your last phone conversation?: Like 2 minutes.

Why did you last laugh really hard?: Hmm. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a good laugh like that.

Have you had your birthday this year yet?: No, nope it’s at the end of this month.

Can you recite the alphabet backward?: I could, but it would take me a little longer. 

Would you rather have orange juice or milk with your breakfast?: Ew, neither. Give me coffee, please.

Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually?: No. I’m a full grown adult, I don’t see any reason why I’d ever bring that up. 

Is there anyone out there who can make you cry very easily?: It’s usually more situational or my depression and anxiety than a person.

When was the last time you told someone you love them?: Recently.

Do you enjoy watching comedies or horror movies more?: I enjoy both.

Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed?: My brother.

What will you be doing tomorrow?: It’s the 4th and my dad and brother bought some fireworks. Not the big ones like you see at events and whatnot, just ones you do in the street.

Do you have clothes that belong to other people?: No.

If you have siblings, which one of you is going to be married first?: My younger brother. 

How late did you stay up last night?: Until like 7ish. 

What would you name your future daughter?: I’m not having children.

Who was the last person to text you?: My mom.

What did y'all talk about?: She was letting me know about something.

Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed?: No.

Has anyone told you “Forever and Always” then left?: Something like that.

What is your current relationship status?: Single.

Angry at anyone?: Just myself.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?: My mom.

Is there anyone you would do anything for?: My loved ones.

Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?: No. That doesn’t mean I don’t care, it just means I don’t feel the way I once I did about him. The romantic feelings are gone. I wish him the best, though.

Is it hard to make you laugh?: Uhh it depends.

Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?: Nope. And that’s fine.

How many people have you had strong feelings for in the year of 2009?: I don’t think I had feelings for anyone in that way in 2009.

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?: If you want, so long as they’re also single.

Where is the person you last kissed at this moment?: *shrug* It’s 4:30 in the morning, so he’s probably at home but I don’t know.

Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip?: Neither.

Next time you will kiss someone?: I don’t knowww.

Something’s wrong. First person you go to?: Either my mom, brother, or no one and just vent about it in a survey and on Twitter. It really just depends.

Do you hate it when people smoke around you?: Cigarettes, yes. It makes me feel lightheaded, gives me a headache, and makes my heart rate increase.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?: Yes. :/

Ever gotten yourself into a confusing situation?: Life.

Do you have an attitude?: I’m an irritable and moody person and I can be snippy and pissy. :/

When was the last time that you were genuinely happy?: I don’t know.

Do you know anybody whose last name is a color?: No.

Would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad?: No. I’m past those high school games.

How was last night?: Eh, it was alright.

If you were in the hospital would your number one come see you?: My number 1 in life is my mom, and she would already be right there with me.

Have you ever dyed your hair?: Numerous times.

When someone says “we need to talk,” what runs through your mind?: Oh, don’t say that to me it makes me very anxious. 

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?: Yeah.

Are your parents still together?: Yes.

What are you wearing on your feet?: Socks.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex?: It doesn’t happen, thankfully.

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?: My body.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?: No.

Do you remember names or faces better?: I’m pretty good with both.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/ girlfriend drinks?: No, unless he was an alcoholic and/or became very obnoxious, rude, or abusive when drunk.

Waiting for something?: Not really.

When is the next time you will see your number one on your top friends?: Myspace died over a decade ago. I’ll see my number 1 in life later on today.

You find out your ex is having a kid with someone you say?: I wouldn’t say anything. It would be a little weird I think and I’d probably have some kind of feelings about it, but. I’m sure it’ll happen one day, so. Who knows if I’ll ever even know, he doesn’t post on social media anymore.