#Not excited about it… but I was really stressed not to know what to do
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beautifullilacsky · 3 days ago
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It's been a while since I wrote about you. Not because I haven't missed you or didn't have good things to say; it's because it's been so, so incredibly good. There is too much for me to say. There have been too many moments that I'd like to write down for me to remember for a lifetime. We came back from our first vacation together, and gad, I have never been more sure about you.
By switching to the other side of the sidewalk so you were the one closer to the road, you made me feel safe. Wearing your 'emergency pants', in case you needed to move the van when the wind was too much for me (which, it was, and you moved the van without a wrinkle or hint of annoyance in your face), you made me feel cared for. Just like all the times you asked me if I was okay. You made me feel heard and made me feel like you truly wanted to understand and hear me, when you asked me how the vacay is going. What our further wishes are and if we want to change anything. You made me feel important and like a princess when you drove around half of the island, just to find a souvenir that I really wanted (even if you usually don't do souvenir hunts). Every single day, you made me feel so good. All of the full body cuddling at night, almost forming a blanket the way you folded yourself all around me. All of the caring during the day. All of the communicating and comfortable silences. The amount of planning you have done, making sure we arrive there and back home safely and that we can "haal het beste uit" our vacation. Knowing I am uncomfortable with manuals and especially a van, you drove all of the time; even if at times, it was stressful as shit. And, everything that came with living in a van; you emptied our water, refilled it, dusted the inside, checked the difficult-closing door, cooking, and did a lot of the dishes.
All the times I asked you to pose a certain way for a picture, you did exactly that. On hikes, you would ask me if the speed was okay, or, like you did most of the time, you'd let me in front. That way, I could go my own speed and you'd be sure that I felt comfi and good. The cute smiles when I said something to Beertje; how I adore and feel so so safe when you like seeing the child inside of me. Ha, the way you went back to souvenir stores with me as I regretting not buying something, while once again, not being annoyed at all. Also, how you paid for my toilet visit twice, knowing I don't carry around 50 cents. It's not expensive, but I know you'd never pay for a toilet like that. But if I really needed and wanted to, you gave me the moneys and always told me to take my time. The way you always let me play whatever music I would like to hear; is that something meaningful that I have overseen every single time (by thinking you just vibe with everything)?
My baby. I can't even describe it in words properly. You truly treated me like a princess. You asked me if u don't always do so. I had no choice but to take my blinding sunnies off during this vacation, seeing how well you treat me. In day to day life, it shines less bright. Now, I couldn't miss it, not even if I closed my eyes during the whole vacation.
One thing I will never ever forget. The 25th birthday you gifted me. You first gifted me a go-pro, which you had named "Renee s vlog camera". It's a typical niklas gift; useful. And damn, even if I was a bit overwhelmed with what it could do at the beginning, I friggin love it. We got to use it sooo many times during the vacay, and I am thrilled that we got to use it in those ways. I am sure there will be more times that I use it, which I am v excited for. And of course, the way you made sure that we got to do what I wanted to for my bday (a hike, an easy one to start with, which,,,, was harder than we had planned but you made sure that I was okay the whole time and we turned around when we both felt like it was a good time). And later, the whale 🐋 dolphin 🐬 watching in Funchal... (where we also looked at the doors I wanted to see, hiked up to a garden u thought I wanted to see, just to take a cable car to the actual palace where I wanted to go to (even if it sounded boring to u to go to a palace), and we ate at such a lovely restaurant, even twice!). Bro. Never will I ever forget the first time you said "I love you too". I was so deep into my feelings, I bit your arm. Yet, that wasn't enough to calm the roaring feeling inside of me. The one that was banging at the bottom of my throat, begging me to say the words. So. I did. "Don't say it back, but I love you so friggin much. Thank you so much for this.... I love you". I felt a weight falll of of my shoulders, as I put my head onto yours. Right there and then, even if I couldn't make it out a 100% over the sound of the waves, the motor from the boat, and the peace that had fallen over me, you said it. "I love you too". My head instantly bounced up: "what?!" I smile, as you also laugh and point out the sharks that you just spotted. Typical Niklas, talking about sharks when he wants to change to topic. Though, it doesn't change the fact that you said it back to me. And even if you are still debating what it means to love someone, maybe you felt the same way that I did right there, on the two front seats of this boat. There wasn't a way for me to explain why I felt the way I did. I just know. For me, it doesn't have to be based on facts. "Okay, so, I really appreciate what he did for me and I feel super safe, appreciated and good. So, in convlusion, that must mean that I love him". I am more of the feeling type. I felt overwhelmed by love for you right there and then. Maybe you felt the same, and told me that you love me too, even if you aren't factually sure that that means. Either way. I will remember you saying it. 24th of October, 3 days after my bday and 8 days before our one year anniversary. I know you only say things you mean, and if you didn't want to say it back, I gave you the options. "Don't say it back", I said the first time that I said I love you. After a short second, I said it again, and even if I didn't realize it, gave you the opportunity to say it back to me. Might not be that big of a deal to you, but as you might know, lol, it is a pretty big deal to me.
So. Baby. It seems impossible to word. But damn. You treated me like a princess. And Gash. I love you, so, so friggin much. No words. I am excited to spend so much more time with you in our future. Endless kisses to you, my love.
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emilie.hofferber
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roseofhybrids · 22 hours ago
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there's something I've been thinking about recently, and tonight seems like a good enough occasion to talk about it
back when I was in therapy, every session my therapist would ask the same question
"What is something you're looking forward to this week"
The first time she asked that, I just figured it was a part of getting to know me as a new patient. Building rapport and trust and such. But when she repeated it every time I spoke to her, it made me wonder why she'd ask that specific question every time
Well, after thinking it over for a while, I think the reason she asked that is because it's really important to have something to look forward to regularly in life. Even if it's something small, as long as it's something you can find a little joy in See, nearly every time she asked me that, my answer would be that I was looking forward to my weekly DND game. It wasn't something too grand, just me and a few others messing around for 2 hours on roll20. But I felt happy when DMing for them, it wasn't much, but it still something that brought a little bit of fun every week
I feel like that's a critical part about staying alive on the day to day. Your life doesn't have to be filled with every day excitement like you're living a wealthy influencer lifestyle in order for you to carve out a bit of happiness for yourself
Like I said, it can be something small. Maybe it's DND games, maybe it's seeing the new episode of a show you like air, maybe once a week you let yourself order a pizza or eat out, maybe you and some friends get together to a watch a movie. Could even be that you just set aside a few hours where you can do something you like, literally anything as long as it brings you some enjoyment. Just a bit of time when you don't have to be productive and working and worrying about everything
I know the idea of doing something just for yourself can feel selfish, like you're wasting precious time. Especially with everything that's going on in the world, it can make you feel guilty for letting yourself find joy when some many others are suffering and in danger
Take it from someone who spent the latter half of their schooling dealing with dysthymia, self harm, and constant panic and anxiety attacks. Feeling nothing but misery 24/7/365 will help nothing. Depriving yourself of any positive emotion day in and out will fix nothing. All it will do is land you in either the grave or a mental hospital, and you certainly won't be able to help anyone from either of those places
If you want to help others, you'll have to be able to support yourself first. And that means not letting the stress of being alive build up to the point of crushing you under its weight. Take an hour or two every few days to let yourself truly breathe and relax. Think of it as fortifying your self for what's to come. You'll need some way to maintain your strength through the storm if you ever want to see the other side of it I'm not saying to ignore the bad parts of life, just don't ignore the good parts either. Even if you have to make those good parts with your own hands Eventually, the world will get better. But that will take time, so you will need to work to ensure you are around long enough to see it
This week, I'm looking forward to the new Dandadan episode, and going to get my new dog his name tag This month, I'm looking forward to making Thanksgiving dinner and getting to have some turkey and pumpkin pie Next year, I'm looking forward to starting a project that I've been thinking about for months
What is something you are looking forward to?
you don't gotta tell me it if you don't want to, just make sure you have one
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jusst-you-race · 17 hours ago
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For the CCC asks: can we get some simi?? I don't think Kimi would be one to text much so I have no idea how that would play out but I'd love to know about them in your universe
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and also for @sashacat1 here is some simi!!! this took me quite a while to work out how I wanted to show their dynamic but I think i got somewhere kind of alright... hope you all enjoy!!! for the ccc snippet prompts
Seb Kimi look I saw a dog on the way to work!
image.png
He was a very good boy, his owner let me pet him. 
His name is Duke, I think this is a very good name for a dog 
Regal
Kimi ❤️
cute
Seb Argh my office plants are wilting!
I knew I should have brought them home before I went to that conference
You are so much better at looking after my plants 
Kimi wasn’t Jen supposed to water them?
Seb Yes! 
Of course you remember this and you don’t even work here
She said she forgot 
I don’t know how she could have forgotten when she had been in the office for two weeks while my plants have been drooping right in front of her face
My poor babies 
Kimi ☹️
Seb Yes I know I’m probably being a bit dramatic about it but it is upsetting!
I might have to bring these home for emergency care… 
They really aren’t doing so hot they’ve barely perked up after watering
Kimi I’ll pick you up after work
Seb Really? It’s not too much of a hassle?
I know it’s really out of the way for you
And we shouldn’t be driving unnecessarily 
But I don’t know how else I will get these poor babies home 
Kimi it’s fine 
Seb You are such a lifesaver 
I love you 
Kimi ❤️
Seb Oh I don’t even know where I’ll put them
We really are running out of space in the flat
I need to give all my new cuttings away! But I just want to make sure they’ll handle the stress of an environmental change
Do you think Charles would like a plant as a moving gift when he moves? 
I am very excited to have him around! 
Sometimes having a plant to take care of reminds you to take care of yourself and I feel like he will need that reminder in his final years of architecture
Kimi 👍
Seb Okay fantastic I am glad you agree
I think I’ll give him a pothos 
I have too many cuttings from my one and they’re easy to look after
Hang on what was I talking about?
Kimi space
Seb Ah yes 
The ones I’m bringing home are low light plants and I’m not sure we have any more room in the bedroom…
It’s getting quite full in there
The lounge would be too sunny, same with the kitchen
Maybe I have too many plants…
Kimi bathroom?
Seb Yes! 
Have I mentioned I love you?
Kimi once or twice
Seb Well I do 
That’s such good thinking I should be able to make some space on the counter for these two just while they get back to their usual selves
You won’t mind it being a bit cramped in there for a while will you?
Kimi no 
Seb ❤️
Okay wonderful! 
Now that I have a plan I really should get started on my work for today
I have so many emails… 
What does your day look like schatz?
Kimi Michael is bringing his car in
will probably spend most of the day on that
you know how he gets
Seb Oh yes that Ferrari is his baby
Scheiße
Why did you have to tell me you were working on a Ferrari today
I can’t be horny at work 
Kimi you asked
Seb I did 
I regret it 
God I’m going to be thinking about that all day
Kimi go answer your emails 
Seb But imagining you all greasy under a Ferrari is so much more appealing 
Kimi I’m not indulging this 
go do your work rakas
Seb Fine 😔
Take pictures?
Kimi of course 
Seb 🥰
Okay okay have a wonderful day schatz!
Kimi ❤️
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gods-favorite-autistic · 3 days ago
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fantasy high hc ! all the bad kids know sign language (solesian sign language? their own made up sign? probably both lets be honest)
(semi/)nonverbal gorgus/riz being able to communicate easily with their friends if speech is hard or theyre overwhelmed, i also hc that adaine loses speech when she gets really anxious or stressed about something no im not projecting
also hoh fig my beloved, she started losing her hearing when her horns grew in and the whole being a rockstar thing probably doesnt help, she has hearing aids (special made and enhanced by gorgugs tinkering) but they dont fix her hearing 100% and hearing aids are not comfy to wear 24/7 so being able to take them out and still communicate is great
(sorry for the ramble lol)
⚡️
Yessss I love this
They get the idea sometime during freshman year, everyone is hanging out at Riz’s place and it’s just very very loud and Riz has not been having a good day before that and Fig kept punching his arm all bro-ey and he ended up hiding in the kitchen signing with his mom, Fig recognized it when she went to go get a snack and joined in (she had tried to learn it when her horns grew in, it’s really janky but she’s trying her best) and Riz was just so excited to have somebody else know it
Fabian has the most trouble learning it, he tends to gesture vaguely a lot with his hands while talking so having to talk with his hands very specifically is weird for him, but he puts in the effort for his friends
Adaine starts teaching herself it (her father thinks it’s unpractical, she has comprehend languages if she really needs it, so she usually goes to the school library and practices there) and then once she picks it up she helps teach the other Bad Kids
Kristen already knows some from doing outreach with the church (they were culty but they weren’t fully ableist) but it’s mainly religious words so it’s pretty much as broken as her Elvish, she does pick it up surprisingly quickly (despite her abysmal dexterity)
Gorgug knows a few specific words his parents taught him when he was little (he was not very good at thinking clearly enough to communicate when he was overwhelmed so it’s mainly just words like “mad” “sad” and “loud” that he can sign really quickly), him and Fabian have study sessions for while once they start learning and figure out they’re both abysmal at it
Fig steals her moms card and signs up for lessons before figuring out that not a single one of these people know how to sign conversationally (she’s the only actual hoh person in there including the teacher who is just so condescending like she’s aware of how to sign the word yes she’s not inept) so she quits after like day two and learns with Adaine
Riz learned how to sign when he was like 6 (his parents thought it would be a useful life skill but they also figured out it both gave his hands something nondestructive to do and a way to communicate during meltdowns so they worked extra hard to teach him) and he helps the others out with their signing (mainly Fabian and Gorgug)
If they don’t want to be overheard they have a tendency of slipping into sign language, which is very confusing when they go from the loudest corner ever to literal silence+the smacking of hands
Fig tries to very discreetly talk shit with Fabian and Adaine in front of Jawbone by signing except Jawbone decided to learn sign the first week he was counselor so she got in trouble anyways (he did not let her use the “but im disabled” card to get out of it)
Fig tries to be her own translator at concerts (“Adaine can make a simulacra it’ll be cool!”) but her label said no
Fabian tends to use sign language any time he’s at a party and doesn’t feel like ruining his voice for the night just to chat with his friends
Gorgug thinks it’s really funny to sign curse words in front of teachers and then lie about what they mean (especially Porter in Junior year he thinks it’s hilarious)
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sleepyparalysisdmon · 8 hours ago
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SVT and a partner with White Coat Syndrome
Requested? Yes! 
Genre: comfort, angst
White Coat Syndrome: when your blood pressure is higher at the doctor’s office and normal at home, usually caused by the stress and anxiety of being in a clinical setting. 
Some of these won't specifically address the hypertension, but rather the feelings about going to the doctor or not feeling heard while there. Be careful reading if you're sensitive about that sort of thing.
Seungcheol
When you say you might just cancel your annual check up, he gives you a perplexed look. It’s a wellness visit, why wouldn’t you go? When you tell him you always get a lecture about your high blood pressure and no doctor will ever listen to you when you just say you’re stressed, expect a few questions. Did you feel stressed before you made the appointment? What makes you so stressed at the doctor’s office? Maybe you should find another doctor? You shrug it off and think that’s the end of it. But the day of the appointment, you’re surprised to find he’s late for work, casually sitting in the kitchen. “I’m going with you,” he says simply, keys in his hand. Your heart’s so full that he’d abandon his busy schedule to accompany you for such a silly thing that your blood pressure reading isn’t as bad as it normally is there.
Jeonghan
Say you have a chronic issue that has you in and out of the doctor’s office with some regularity. Expect that he’s noticed the way your mood fluctuates around those appointments. But he won’t say anything because he doesn’t want to add to your stress, and he knows there are limitations for what he can do to help when it comes to a chronic condition. So it’s a common occurrence for you to come home from an appointment and be surprised to find him at home starting dinner. “Go take a bath,” he’ll demand. You know better than to not listen because he might just run a tub of water and dump you in it, clothes and all. Later, between the warm bath and meal and being wrapped in a warm blanket on the couch, you don't even remember the anxiety that had such a tight hold on you earlier today.
Joshua
He’s sooo sneaky. He recognizes the pattern to your stress, but you don’t seem to. So, he pitches a new craft for the two of you to do together - bullet journaling. It’s got three purposes in his mind. The one you’re aware of is that it’s a fun little activity for you guys to do together. But it serves as a destresser AND evidence of your stress all in one, because he’s insisted that you guys track your moods in a cute little chart, among many other things. After a few months, he’ll show you his ‘discovery’ - you predictably mark that you're stressed in the days before your appointments and the day of. He just wants the light bulb to go off for you so he can address your anxiety directly. 
Jun
He comes home at a blessedly normal time today, excited to hang out and have dinner with you. He’s been looking forward to it all day and nearly crawls out of his own skin when he finds you crying on the couch. That’s right, he thinks, you took the afternoon off for an appointment. He’s all over you because he’s really thinking the worst, wondering what kind of bad news you’ve gotten today. You sigh and just tell him you don't feel like you’re being listened to at your appointments. You gesture to the new medication on the coffee table, saying that you really don’t think you need it. He doesn’t have to hear much to insist that you get a second opinion. He’s already googling doctors in the area with high ratings. You have a long list to go through tomorrow, but you’re touched that he listened and did something about it. 
Hoshi
I kind of see this starting out much like Jun’s situation did. His baby is crying and he’s thinking the worst!!! But you just say the doctor’s office stresses you out and now you’re dreading going back for a follow-up in a couple weeks. He thinks, Okay, I can fix this!!! Despite the long day he’s had, he’s making you dinner and rubbing your feet and coddling you. Eventually, you aren’t even crying because of stress but because of how overwhelmed you are with the energy and passion he puts into caring for you while you're down. You’ll push him away and say he should take care of himself too because he’s probably had a long day, but he’ll stubbornly cling. No way, this is his therapy too!!
Wonwoo
Raises an eyebrow when you guys have progressed in your relationship enough for him to see what kind of medications you’re taking. “Blood pressure medicine?” He’ll ask quizzically. You’re young, and you’re normally so laidback that it doesn’t really make sense to him. When you say that your reading is always high when you go to the doctor, he won’t say anything right away. But a couple days later he’ll come home with a little blood pressure machine and ask you to humor him. He’s careful to get plenty of data over the course of a couple weeks before he hands you a sheet and all but demands that you go to the doctor to tell them you don’t need to be on this medication, because you’re actually reading low at home. You’ll give him a big blank stare in the moment, but will be overjoyed to be off the medication a week later. You won’t be doubting Wonwoo’s methods again.
Woozi
He helps by… not explicitly helping. Hear me out, okay!! He’s not nosy about your business as long as you try to keep him in the loop to the extent that you’re comfortable with. So he waits for you to come to him if you need him. He knows you have some anxiety about the doctor’s appointment you have today and half expects you to just go straight home and relax for the rest of the day. But there’s a meek knock on his studio door in the afternoon and you let yourself in and he kind of has heart palpitations. You came to see him!! He thinks. “Don’t mind me,” you’ll say, “I just want to hang out here for a while before going home.” He’ll roll his eyes like he’s annoyed, but he’s opening his arms for you to sit in his lap while he works. He’ll let you cling without breathing a word about it as long as you want to if it makes you feel better. 
DK
This one is dramatic, but it’s because it’s Seokmin, okay?? Say you’re on medication for high blood pressure and haven’t even thought anything about telling him about it. You normally feel fine (outside of the doctor’s office, that is), and it just… hasn’t come up. You’re spending the day at home with him and you’ve just offered to go fix some lunch, but you don’t make it. You wake up on the carpet with Seokmin hovering over you with panicked eyes. “You fainted, why didn't you tell me you didn’t feel well?” He’ll scold. He takes your health and safety seriously (they all do, really), so he’ll insist putting you in the car to take you to the hospital. You’re so out of it that you don’t really have any energy to argue. At the hospital, the nurse and doctor give you a look when they glance between your medication list and your blood pressure readings. They send you home and tell you to discontinue your blood pressure medication and recommend a mental health professional instead to manage anxiety. Best believe Seokmin’s making you follow through with THAT appointment. 
Mingyu
Did you think he was going to let you go alone? Did you think he was going to let you drive yourself and add to the stress? Did you think he wasn’t going to sit in the exam room with you and glare menacingly at the doctor like a big scary guard dog? He’s insistent and you’re running late, so you let him do all of this. He’s the epitome of over-protective the moment you tell him you’re nervous and don’t really want to go. Has no qualms about getting up and dragging you out of the room if you try to tell the doctor you’re just stressed HERE and they don’t listen. It’s like a switch is flipped by the time you’re in the car because he’s all sweet and soft and telling you that he’ll help you find a doctor that will actually listen. 
Minghao
 You have an afternoon appointment and he’s been watching you pace since approximately 5am. You’ve done all the normal chores by 7am and have moved on to some of the more infrequent chores, like dusting the tops of the kitchen cabinets and ceiling fans and deep cleaning the fridge. He can’t stand to watch you spiral anymore by about 9am and makes you sit down for a cup of tea with him. He holds your hand across the table and asks what the deal is. Does NOT expect the flood of tears that come but handles it with grace. When you sniffle about how nervous you are and how much worse it will be when you get to the office, he offers to help you meditate for a bit. You look skeptical, and he gets that maybe it’s not as helpful for you as it is for him, but it doesn’t matter. He’s already cleared his schedule to go with you anyway.
Seungkwan
You’re sick and absolutely refuse to go to the doctor. He’ll raise an eyebrow at the sea of tissues around you as you cough through your argument. “Fine, have it your way,” he’ll say - for now. If you get any worse, he won’t give you a lot of choices. So you get a constant stream of teas and soups and medicine during the day, and later that night while he’s cuddling you back to health, he’ll ask the serious questions about your avoidance. He doesn’t want to pressure you to go to the the general practitioner that you’re so anxious about seeing, but he does recommend tackling the anxiety individually and encourages you to seek some professional help for it. He’ll even go with you, he insists. You’re so touched that he actually listened that you let him schedule an appointment the next day.
Vernon
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again because I will die on this hill. He’s not as aloof as he seems!! He’s noticed the pattern to your anxiety but hasn’t said anything about it because he isn’t sure it will help. So he does the little things like planning for a quiet night in on your appointment days to work down some of the anxiety, complete with take-out, a bunch of blankets, and a bad comedy. But this time, you lament about how the appointment went, movie totally forgotten. You’re worked up again about it asking Vernon what you should do and why no doctor will listen to you. He thinks it might be rhetorical, but he gently recommends going to a counselor or psychiatrist because they might be able to help manage the anxiety you're feeling. You blink at him with a little ‘oh’, feeling kind of silly that you’ve never thought of it. He doesn’t let you feel silly for long, because he’ll clear his schedule to go with you any day if there’s a chance it will help you feel better.
Chan
Bless his heart, you might have to spell it out for him. Does not understand the bad mood you’re in after your appointment and thinks he might have done something. You huff, “No, you haven’t done anything. I just hate going to the doctor. It kills my mood.” He refuses to let you apologize for your bad mood after that. Can’t relate necessarily, but does his best to understand you and what you need from him. Expect to be smothered with affection today, but he’s already thinking of a mental checklist for things he needs to do before, during, and after your next appointment. He’s not sure he can solve all of your problems, but he can absolutely be someone you can depend on.
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blank-house · 11 hours ago
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Hello, hope the team is doing okay during this time of stress and excitement!
I wanted to ask if you guys have an estimated time of release for the summer season? Because when I look at the rewards, it says Summer 2026. I know I'm putting the cart before the horse when I ask this, but if you do make the rest of the seasons (and I really hope it happens!), does that mean it will take a little over a year for each? Will KF be fully out in 8~ years?
haha, i know. wouldn't it be crazy if we literally spent almost a decade making this game? the short answer is: hopefully not!
the long answer is: we landed on summer 2026 as a release date just to be exceptionally generous with the production schedule! this is after seeing how long it took us to complete the first spring, which was about a year and a half with the three of us being the main folks working on the script (which is what usually takes the longest).
now, assuming that the kickstarter gets funded (which we would find out in late november), we wouldn't really start full production until january. but, the hope is that we'd be able to hire on more freelancers to get us through the pipeline faster. it takes a lot of work to get it to the level we had it in spring, and we'd rather be generous with our time so we could theoretically release earlier than have to delay.
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ancha-aus · 24 hours ago
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omg but that sounds so funny?
It makes it sound like it is a job. Ah yes i need to get this to Ancha before she clocks out from Lore-duties. *scribbling lore as i speak don't mind me*
It is just such an Killer idea and i lvoe that for him. He is going to play two truths and a lie with the king his new boss! :D okay but also. When Ccino walks in to help? Killer is probably a bit annoyed. because that just isn't fair. ccino is probably a horrible liar. this is about good liars :/
and then ccino is able to just stare him down and lie with such a straight deadpan face that killer is honestly excited to figure it out himself.
(also ccino is really fucking good at spotting lies?! holy shit where did the king find this guy and hrie him?! why just for like house sitting and not as advisor what the hell?)
it becomes fun! and nightmare 100% joins in. He needs to be able to lie with a straight face. yes nightmare. even if you dislike the idea of lying. it is needed sometimes. now. lets practise.
A little helmet for the man who will fight in the war and win the war for nightmare's affection!
cross leaning to the side: aren't they already dating? killer: just let him have his moment.
nightmar enad dust meanwhile are just chilling and riding. nightmare shares a bit of his anxieties of error turning 16. what if he decides to move out after all? why would error still want to stay if he gets money and realises he can go anywhere? what is keeping him from going to life with geno and reaper after all?
dust helps him calm down.
Ccino would ahve so much anxieties about having children. He already raise two! and error a tiny bit. he was at least an actual babysitter for him. but this is terrifying. He wants a child with killer. he really does.
but he is just terrified. of everything.
Ccino probably tries to talk with killer about it normally but eventually he just breaks down and stays in killer's arms and hold. there is just so much trauma he didn't have time to process and then he got busy and things got better so why think about trauma and the past? it is gone now. it is fine.
killer jsut holding his mate. letting him let it all out. so much trauma build up that NEEDS to be released. and killer is here for him. reassuring him that they are a team and they have a group that will help them. no one is going to take them from their little baby (the fact ccino is scared his baby will be left alone. that what happened to him will happened to the baby. he isn't even afraid of the fact he would die. just that his baby would ahve no one.)
but i agree. ccino is composed because he doens't let himself be anything BUT composed. he ahs to be composed and controlled. first because otherwise it wasn't perfect and nim would kill him. then because he had to do his work. then failing would mean that nightmare or dream would not be cared for. and it just... it was never the time for him to not be composed and ccino just got used to it after a while. but his wounds never healed. and the fear is so real and still so there. the stress of it all just build on top of it.
Killer already really sees how much damage it did to ccino. Ccino never shows weakness even if the knights know his story by now. but ccino never showed anything but composure and acceptance of his past. They thought that ccino had processed it all.
turns out? nope... ccino.... ccino really is just a very good liar. even to himself.
yes!! Love that :D the boys face is so important and the masks mean so much! it is beauitful story telling <3
Dust had a beautiful and loving family. and that is why he left. he knew he couldn't be trusted anymore. not with their safety. and he refused to harm his family even further.
Yes! Phantom never got over his brother leaving (he isn't stupid. he knows dust pulled away after he injured him. and then he was gone. phantom just wnat shis brother back) each rain drop would give him hope. phantom would rush outside and search through the rainfall. looking for his older brother. because the rain is back! Dust brings the rain! please... please be back.
Phantom had to deal with disappointment so often.
so to feel a very light drizzle? on a very sunny day? his hope instantly returns and when he turns around... there he is.
nightmare can see how happy dust is. nightmare feeling like such an intruder and just. he can't help it. he is just akid again. a kid who lost so much in his life. he just can't lose one of his brothers. so he introduces himself with a claim. that is one of HIS brothers...
and they welcome him. they are so nice to him and are so hapyp for dust that he managed to trust himself again. and he let himself love someone!
STOP! STOP! 'how did you two meet?' 'He broke me out of prison' 'Dust!! I DID NOT!'
that is the FUNNIEST take Dust could have taken. but it is the perfect ice breakers. and dust tells the whole story. what he did. where he went. what he accomplished. The family listens to the whole story. and they all look shocked but accept it all. AND THE INVITATION to the castle!! I love that!
(stop!! error would be the most JEALOUS little menace. euh. who are you? You are dust's little brother? funny. because he is already nightmare's and my brother :/ you sure you don't ahve the wrong skeleton on your mind?
the kngihts are also VERY excited to meet them. Dsut realises this was a mistake.)
Dust hates his soul because it is unnatural and weird and clearly broken. and i love that he disliked killer's soul first as well because of his own situation. but dust does move to defend him. No matter what. and that says enough.
and geno finds it beatiful! IT is gorgeous! geno just wants to stare at it in awe and please let him hold it? geno promise to be careful and gentle and-
reaper seperates the two because both look in a mood and the moods do NOT allign. thought reaper agress with geno. it is very beautiful. but dust isn't ready to hear that.
I love everything about the fresh meeting. just all of it.
espeically because error finally gets the closure he needed with fresh. and it turned out fresh loved him so much. and that the parasite that he accidentally aquired thought of error as food.
(the fact dust managed to get the thing the heel and behave is so funny. someone is going to make the joke that the parasite must be at least PARTYL horse then)
and i love that error learns way to make him able to touch tohers (he is going to hold nightmare's hand and ksis him one of these days it is HIS GOAL)
i love all these sillies <3
New Age AU (Error's Wacky Wild Plan)
Hi guys. So. Crazy Story. The crisis that stopped me from working on my banner art actually catapulted me into writing this drabble finally! (Also the wonderful @ancha-aus was also a life-saver and helped me hammer out a few plot points for this installment <3)
Currently my only context for this drabble is that Error is tiny, and ran away from home because Geno moved to Reaper's kingdom to make money to send back home, and Fresh spent too long away on his trip. Error was expelled from his magic academy and came home to an empty house, so he left! Now he's been on the road for about a month? Nightmare has been ruling for about 6-ish years now, almost 7.
(Hello @mutzelputz and @papiliovolens hi guys!!!)
     The town was bustling. 
   Error had been through a lot of towns since he’d left. Big ones, small ones, ones he was convinced weren’t even towns at all, just a few barns in a general closeness to one another who decided they needed to call themselves something besides the outskirts. Those people had been particularly hostile to his passing through.
   And, lately, they’d been really weird. People staring at him when he’d walk on the streets, or pass by shops. When they saw he had money from a different kingdom (he didn’t even realize he’d left his own, but he figured it meant he was on the right path) they’d squeeze their faces like they bit a lemon and hastily take his coin. Like it was cursed, or something. They were lucky it wasn’t cursed, honestly. He could probably figure out how to do that.
    This town, though, was filled so full with people that he imagined they couldn’t look at him weird if they wanted to. 
   People were riding horses, chatting in the streets, all sorts of stalls and merchants were peddling goods, and he was almost positive he could hear music lifting down the street over the general drone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d run into a place so busy. He’d always been told to stick to the side, out of the way, out of danger. 
   He didn’t have to listen to that anymore. Though, he did skirt the crowds. The mass of people seemed all too willing to bump shoulders or elbows with each other in the early morning sun, and the last thing he wanted was to have his magic act up in a crowd. He’d done well so far. 
   Every booth, every merchant, every passerby seemed jubilant, ebbing and flowing. It was like some sort of party. 
   That was, until, Error spotted it.
   A big building, something that Error recognized only vaguely. 
   It was an amphitheatre. 
   Geno had taken him to see one once. Or, at least, the ruin of one. It hadn’t been too far from their home, and it was pretty abandoned and lonely. Plants had crawled up its walls, stones had fallen off in chunks, animals seemed to have deemed its high windows a perfect spot to build nests. It had been breathtaking, and ancient. 
   This one? Seemed perfectly in-use. 
   The walls were all in-tact, stones, an easy to look at grey, smooth and covered in little intricate carvings. Spells, he had to imagine, in some language he didn’t know. Curtains hung over the huge arched entrances, and heavy gates seemed to be lifted, the spikes at the base loomed over the heads of every passerby. 
   He couldn’t help but marvel. Was this a restoration, or maybe it was new. Some sort of imitation. Regardless, he found that his feet carried him to one of the entrances, which stood largely empty aside from some folks who looked strikingly like guards.
   Two of them stood, long spears in-hand. They both stood stock still as Error approached, and didn’t move a muscle as he passed them. They were strange, definitely different. Not at all the town guard he was familiar with. 
   The inside of the theatre was even more impressive. Rows and rows of stands seemed to line up either side. Huge tapestry hung from the high arches past those seats, and down the runways of the bleachers, all a bright teal and dark navy blue. They seemed fancy, and much newer than the curtains which had hung in the entrance. 
   Beyond the walkway where he stood, was a set of stairs which led down a level or so, before it leveled out into an open space. Sandy, and very flat. It seemed like there were people there, too. A much smaller crowd, but still a crowd nonetheless. 
   Error was almost amazed he’d not been stopped by someone yet. Whatever was going on seemed important, and so far in his experience, people did not like him sticking his nose into important business. 
   With that in mind, he decided he’d stick to the entryway for now. He leaned his bag up against the wall and watched from a position where the sun still shadowed his form. He was often grateful for his miscolored bones. It made hiding in the dark a whole lot easier. 
   It took a bit for him to really process what he was watching in the morning light. 
   There were four people sat on a sort of raised box toward the front of a stage. A huge stage, raised up off the sand with wood slats. They had a long-table before them, and quills and ink jars in-hand. Well, three were sitting. One was standing. But the point is, they were all watching the stage very attentively. 
   On-stage there was… basically nothing. Only a simple backdrop Error had to imagine was there at all times, because it looked like it was coated in sand, even from the distance where he stood.
   A person would enter the stage, the people sat on the box would speak to them, and then there was a flare of magic. Another. Another. And then they were dismissed. 
   It wasn’t until he really bothered to think about what magic was being cast that he realized those were extremely simple spells being used. Levitate, Create Water, Mimicry. Or Flame, Gust, Light. All just three easy spells, and then they were off-stage. That was taught magic. It gave him memories of his entrance exam to his school. He’d been way overqualified to get in, Geno taught him after all…
   But, no, this didn’t feel the same. There were plenty of people who seemed to stumble at spells they didn’t recognize, or who couldn’t muster a simple breeze. Then others who were very old and obviously skilled. Obviously they found the three spells to be child’s play. Like Error would. This was no entrance exam, so what-
   “Hey, pipsqueak, what are you doing there in the dark?” A voice startled him, and it took all of his willpower to avoid jumping away from its origin. 
   Error twisted rapidly, just in time to avoid the thrust of an elbow in his direction. 
   There was a monster there. Three, actually. Two lizards, both bright green and tropical, and one who looked more like a dragon. The green one closer to him must have spoken, because he laughed at Error’s flinch. 
   “Why are you bothering me?” Error shot back haughtily. 
   The lizard seemed to grin at the response.  
   “Oh, so we’ve got a feisty little small fry here? Thinks he’s scoping out the competition?” The dragonish one hissed, voice deep. 
   The other green one tittered a giggle, “So cute! I can’t believe the King really decided to let just anyone try out for Royal Mage.” 
   Oh…
   The lizard before him seemed to take this silence as a weakness, and reached out quicker than Error could react. A flick to the middle of his forehead. 
   Error winced and pulled away, back and into the arena. He grit his teeth and clutched his skull, where at the same moment the lizard jumped back and shook their hand in the air a bit. His magic had reacted poorly again, and while it was better than it used to be, it still stung like 5 wasps touching down and stinging the same point all at once. 
   “Little freak.” Was all the monster hissed, before he fled. His two friends moving on behind him in confusion. Approaching the line to the stage. 
   Error stood there in the sun for a moment, rubbing at his forehead until the pain was more of a numb static. 
   If anything, he appreciated the little run-in with those wanna-bes. Now he knew exactly what this was, and why it had felt so familiar to him. 
   The Mage Trials. 
   Geno had to go through them, and he’s been very thorough about his every single detail while doing it. Even though he was the best mage Error had ever known, he’d still stressed and wrote page after page of plans and spells and had placed them into a folder that felt thicker than an encyclopedia. Geno had always been the only one of them who bothered studying. Fresh couldn’t go to school anymore, and Error… Well, Error didn’t need to. 
   Thinking about it, Geno had been very quiet about it, but Error had looked into his folder a few times. Just out of curiosity. It’d been split into three rounds, something Geno had said was standardized. The first was a test of someone’s basic magic skills, the second were more complex spells which the mage has practice in, and the third, the one that had given Geno the most grief, was the personal spell round. In the last one, there were no restrictions to what someone could do, so long as they had done the work themselves, and that it mostly used magic. 
   If he was right, and he usually was, then this was the first round. Eliminating those with nothing but a hope and a prayer in their pocket before they got embarrassed before the one looking for the Mage in the first place. In this case, whoever this kingdom’s king even was. 
   In just a few moments, Error had decided. 
   This was how he’d prove himself. 
   The line was already starting to get longer, and he didn’t want to be here until nightfall in a queue. He dusted off his scarf, his shoes, his bag, and set off into the bright sun to secure his place in this contest. No prep. No warning. Just with his raw skill and what he’d learned so far. Nothing could possibly go wrong. 
.
   Finally. 
   Error felt like it had been hours in the warm sun before he was finally up next. 
   He’d been watching, of course. Watching as the people before him were passed or failed. It was just as he’d expected, and he couldn’t help but be a bit giddy as the two green lizard who’d bothered him earlier both failed. Though their dragonish friend had passed, it was still enough of a victory for him.
   Along with that, he noticed that the three people sat were all in robes of nobles. Something the wealthy and lofty would think to wear in a blazing hot arena all day. The one standing, though, was wearing all black. A hood was over his head, but Error thought he might be some sort of cat-monster. Very stone faced, very still. The only time Error had seen him move was seemingly to veto whatever choice the other three were making. He thought it was interesting. 
   That didn’t matter, though. 
   Based on what he’d seen, these people wouldn’t have any qualms with his magic. He was much better than half the people who’d already been passed, and knew he could keep him calm up on the stage. It’d be just like his entrance exam. 
   He watched as the monster who’d gone before him, a skeleton who was twice his height and twice as animal-ish, bowed gratefully to the people on the boxes, the evaluators, and exited. She’d passed fairly easily, Error thought. Though, her focus seemed elsewhere based on how shaky the hold on her last flame had been. 
   “Next!” 
   The call was shrill, and Error had heard it over a hundred times already today, but this time it bounced in his ears as he lifted himself up the steps and strode onstage. 
   If he’d thought about it, he would’ve tried to find a place to stache his bag, but it was too late for that, and frankly he didn’t trust it not to get stolen once it was out of his sight. Not with how busy the city seemed. 
   When he was stood in the center of the stage, he looked out across the way to the evaluators. They seemed closer up here than they did when he was on the ground. Interesting. 
   “First spell,” The person on the far left called, though Error could tell now that it was a voice projection spell. So they didn’t strain their vocal chords, “ Levitate.”
   That was simple. One of the first spells he’d been taught as a kid. 
   His eyes skimmed briefly, there had been a few props on stage that he only noticed once he was closer that were meant to be used with this sort of spell, but Error wasn’t for that. Instead, he muttered the words under his breath, outstretched a hand, and felt his magic reach out around him. Beyond the stage. 
   There… There was a barrier of some sorts, pushing back against his magic, between himself and the evaluators. He furrowed his brow and urged his magic forward. He didn’t have to break through it. He just. Had to- His magic felt like it was looping and wriggling like a worm through the dirt, but when it broke through on the other end, it felt so much more clear. He could feel a potent magic there, something raw and wet, like the air before a storm. 
   That didn’t matter, though. None of it did, because he was on a mission. His magic finally found its target, the stacks of ink bottles which the middle evaluator had just before their parchment. The magic latched on, and Error finally allowed himself a grin as he tugged his hand upwards. They floated calmly into the air, three of them, and did a quick spinning motion, before settling back down just where he’d found them.
   He didn’t catch the looks on the threes faces, but he had to imagine they were priceless. He was more focused on letting the spell dissipate and preparing for the next. 
   It took a moment, before, “Second Spell,” They said, “Create Water.” 
   Another easy one. 
   Error held his hand out again, though this time his palm faced the sky rather than the ground. At the mutter of his words, he could feel the water manifesting. Tiny droplets leaking from his fingers and into the air above his open palm, where he let it gather into a nice, easy sphere. 
   It hovered, and for this one he could see the nods from the three evaluators. The fourth, the cat monster, didn’t move an inch. A good sign. 
   Error, after a breath, moved the orb of water and simply set it on the stage floor. If he had to release it, he didn’t exactly want to get his clothes wet. That orb tended to shoot outwards when he released it, and the water would go everywhere. 
   “Third spell,” They must’ve been contented with his simply setting down the water, for they continued, “Flame.”
   Ah, one of his favorites. He was never very good at it, of course, but it was certainly very fun. If nothing else it’d be a taste of his raw power.
   He rolled up his hanging sleeves, quickly using strands of string to wrap them in place, before he picked back up the water orb in one hand. With the other, he faced his palm toward the side of it, and spoke the words for the flame spell. 
   The heat gathered in his wrist, and all at once shot out of his palm, like a cannon blast. The heat was intense, and Error laughed quietly to himself in pure elation as the fire did exactly what he was hoping. All at once, his glasses fogged, and a burst of steam blew past his face, off to the exiting side of the stage. He’d evaporated his orb, no longer needing to risk someone seeing him fumble with it and soak himself. 
   He let the fire die after a few second, and quickly grabbed the hem of his scarf to wipe down his glasses from the fog left behind on their surface. 
   The moment the red rims were back on the bridge of his nose, the voice spoke up again. 
   “Name?”
   Error cleared his throat, before calling back his name in response. Just the first one, the last one didn’t matter anymore. 
   There was another few breaths of quiet, before, 
   “Age?”
   Error hadn’t heard them ask anyone else for their age, but he figured they’d noticed. How strong and talented he was at such a young age. 
  He puffed up his chest when he announced, “Twelve!” to the arena. 
   There were a few muffled murmurs from the line, but Error was too busy grinning across the way at the evaluators as they seemed to talk amongst themselves. 
   He was ready to hear the word that would mark him to continue. The next part was tomorrow, after this round was concluded and the king arrived. He’d heard about it in the line while he was waiting. 
   One of the evaluators lifted their gaze back to him. Opened their mouth.
   “Disqualified.”
   That.
   Huh?
   Error must’ve visibly glitched at the response, because one of the evaluators seemed to flinch. Ever so slightly. 
   “How come?!” Error called back, reservations immediately fleeing his mind.
   How could they disqualify him? He hadn’t heard them do that to literally anyone else so far today. 
   The evaluator on the far right spoke up, “Too young. Now please move off the-”
   Error might’ve let his mouth speak before his mind, if he hadn’t seen the way the mysterious cat monster seemed to slink forward. A simple tap to the evaluator’s side and they stopped mid-sentence, attention drawing to the person. 
   He waited with balled fists. Hoping, against it all, that this person was using his mighty veto powers to get him his passing review. 
   “The Knight wishes to speak to you further.” They said, when the person, the Knight, took a step back. “Exit the stage.” 
   Mm. 
   This was his chance. This was his moment. He was being allowed to move on, he was sure of it. It had to be. 
   He practically scrambled off the stage and down the steps, and found that the Knight had closed the distance very quickly. He gestured silently for Error to follow him off to the side of the arena, seemingly outside of the voice spell’s range, as the noise of magic and calling for the next viewer seemed all muffled and contained. 
   Something Error noticed about the guy, now that he was right beside him walking along, was also that he wasn’t a cat monster. No, he had some sort of mask shaped like a cat. Black spots painted on black fur, with piercing white eyelights hidden in the darkness cast by his black hood. A cloth mask covered the lower half of his face, so Error would’ve had no idea what kind of monster he was, if he hadn’t left his hands uncovered. They were grey and grimy, but they were most certainly bones. 
   The other thing he noticed, was the magic. That damp, airy magic was no-doubt from this guy. It practically enveloped the both of them until they were stood in the shade of the wall separating bleachers from arena floor. 
   “You said you’re twelve?” He finally asked, shifting on his feet to look at Error. 
   The last thing he noticed, which only happened once he was able to look past the aura, was that. Well. He was a bit taller than this guy. Not by much, but there was certainly something stark about having to look a bit downwards to meet his eyelights. 
   “Yes, I am.” He claimed proudly, still convinced this was to be his ride to the top.
   The knight seemed to skim him with his eyes. Surely taking in Error’s clothes, his bag, his glasses, the weird bones. Though, it didn’t feel pervasive. 
   “Impressively strong for a kid,” He praised loosely, “And probably talented in spells if the nerds were any indication.” 
   His voice was quiet and raspy, but Error had no problem listening to it. This strong and very cool guy who was called a ‘knight’ was praising him. This was much better than getting yelled at by his professors. Much. 
   “Does that mean I passed?” He asked impatiently. 
   He needed this. He needed this. 
   The guy’s eyelights lingered on his face a bit, and it was then that Error finally noticed how virtually unreadable this guy was. Impossibly quiet, posture unmoving, all facial features shrouded in shadow and covered by masks?
   “I’m not sure what kingdom you’re from, but you’ve got to understand that the folks up there didn’t say no because you’re bad. They said no because the king made a new decree. “No soul under the age of 16 shall be put to work under the crown.” They’ve gotta take it seriously, just like everyone else has to follow the new rules about their own shops and businesses.” He said evenly, eyelights never leaving Error’s face. “You’re a couple years too early is all.” 
   It felt like he’d been shoved into a ditch, and he could already feel his right hand starting to tremble with the beginnings of a glitch. He was furious! How could they possibly say no to him because of some stupid rule about his age? 
   “No!” He exclaimed, trying to bite back the distortion on his voice, “I’m not going to just walk away. If I could just move on to the next round, they’d see I’m different! I’m not some weak little baby!” 
   He clenched his fists, driving his jittering one forcefully into his pocket. 
   The knight didn’t even flinch at his declaration. 
   “They’ve already seen that.” He said easily. “Listen to me. Error, right?” 
   Error hesitantly nodded. 
   “Error, ‘m sure that if my Lord saw you in action, he too would agree that you are very strong and resourceful.” The knight said, and Error hated that it sounded earnest. “But, he set that law into place for very good reason. If by any means those folks back there were to let you through, to pass you, and you made it before the king next round? They’d have committed treason, and I’d have their souls on the end of my bone in three seconds flat.” 
   His voice was hard and serious, and Error held strong as a loud crack echoed out beside the knight. A bone raised from the ground, sharp and jagged on the end, absolutely radiating magic. 
   “Do you really want their blood on your conscience, just so that you get sent away by the King anyways?” The knight offered. 
   Error hunched his shoulders a bit, and he felt his static worsen as he let his eyes linger on the bone. Yes. He muttered inside his head. He wanted to scream it at the man before him. Tell him that this was his one golden chance to prove himself. 
   But to who? He would ask, and Error wouldn’t be able to say it. It’d be a wasted sentiment and wasted time and wasted lives just for his temper tantrum. 
   “...No.” He bit out meekly. 
   He stood there, feeling a familiar shame creep up his spine. The knight made no move to leave, though he did let his bone disappear. The ground looked untouched from where it had split out of. Just more sand. Sand that was getting into Error’s bones. That he’d have to clean out later. Swinging in his hammock, lonely and moping. 
   “Heh,” The chuckle was almost inaudible, and Error was almost ready to let his distress turn back into rage, but, “Better kid than I was.” The Knight mused into the open air.
   He seemed to shift his stance again, and Error took a half step back. 
   “You’ve got your life ahead of you, kid. Don’t let this keep you down. Take the road less traveled by or whatever.” He said then, waving a hand loosely before him. 
   Error stared at him, trying to even his breath, before he had an idea. 
   “The other two rounds will be here, right?” He asked, voice still harshly stuttering and screeching. The Knight seemed unbothered.
   “Yeah. Planning on sticking around to watch?” The knight questioned, though it felt more like a warning. 
   Error nodded in agreement without hesitation. “If these geezers can get the job, I need to see what kind of tricks they have up their sleeves.” He agreed. 
   That earned another little chuckle, before the knight looked back to the stage. 
   Up in the center was a new mage, a human who seemed to be making a pretty wild wind that was whipping the sand around, bothering the people in line behind him. Error heard the knight make a scoffing noise, before turning back towards the stage.
   “Go hang around somewhere else for a while, why don’t you? I have to go make sure those nerds don’t pass that guy.” 
   Error didn’t even get to say a farewell before the Knight was off. 
   It seemed like every stride he teleported a bit further, building speed until he stopped cleanly up on the pedestal. Just in time for the sandstorm to die down. 
   Error didn’t want to walk away from this, he didn’t, but staying would only waste his time. It only took a few more seconds, to watch the knight nudge the evaluator and hear the muffled call of ‘fail’ ring out across the arena before he was turning tail and moving out of the sandy paradise, back into the bustle of the living city. 
.
.
.
   It was impossible to miss it. The sounds of celebration as the monarch entered the town. 
   Error could see the royal carriage from his perch, an old temple tower that had at some point lost its bell. It seemed untouched, birds nests and cobwebs, so he’d set up a hammock and a little makeshift shelter inside using his strings just before night fell. 
   He’d snatched some food from the town as dusk was setting in, and he’d been comfortably whittling away the dark hours, working hard on his plan. 
   With the King officially in town, that meant the second round would be starting up shortly, taking the numbers of who would be in the third round down by hundreds. He hoped the king was stingy about it. He hoped that dragonish monster would stumble on his spell and turn someone into a frog. 
   The thought humored him, and he cackled quietly to himself from his makeshift room. 
   The sun was high again, and he was only a part of the way through. His spells required a lot of his magic to be woven into them, and while it was much much faster than what he’d heard was the usual, it was still difficult to make. 
   Weaving the blue strings from his sockets, to his fingers, around his fingertips, and into the shapes he needed. It was monotonous, and boring by all accounts, but with every strand there was a new flow of power. A new pump of adrenaline into Error’s soul as he recognized his creation becoming more potent. Intent, intent, intent, every loop and knot was filled to the brim with it. His frustration sat at the core. Much more volatile and destructive than his usual intent, but it would serve him well if he wanted this plan to go well. Around it was his determination. The strings woven in with a sense of stubbornness which refused to let go, like a snake swallowing its prey whole. This would compress the first layer into a proper state. Let it coil and coil and coil until it burst. It’d be big, and loud, and send out that message he so desperately needed to be heard by the king. 
   Skipping the second round would probably hurt him in the long run, but… That knight had said he’d have to kill those people if he showed his face in round two. So, he’d just appear in round three instead, and make up for missing the second one. A final act, of sorts. 
   He’d have to be at this all day to make the time crunch. The orb was hardly as big as his palm, not nearly big enough. Though, he had wasted time making the shelter and finding food. He’d just have to skip a couple meals to make up for it. He didn’t really need to eat that much anyways, he’d known that for years. He just tried to make an effort when he smelled something tasty. 
   He knew he could manage. 
   It was late in the night when Error finally started on the outer layers. Those which would be filled with his patience, so that the potent insides would not be sensed as he moved with it among the many magic users. 
   The town had begun to line the streets with torches and party as the stars arrived. No doubt celebrating those who would be at the third and final round tomorrow. The ones who would be competing to become the new Royal Mage. 
   To Error? Every single moment down there was dedicated to him. They just didn’t know it yet. 
.
.
.
   The morning came, and Error only had a few more layers. 
   By the time the sun was almost in the center of the sky above, he had finished it, and carefully tucked it into his backpack. He unraveled the strings and carefully wrapped them, shaping them, changing them into a thin net with long ends. This was shoved into his jacket sleeve, the ends clutched tight in his hand. 
   It took him hardly any time at all to get to the arena, and he was early. 
   Good.
   He settled himself up in the stands, as close to the stage as he could get. Many people seemed to be staying outside the arena, sticking to the streets, but there was still enough of a crowd in the bleachers that Error had to be careful as he worked his way along the edges. He needed to be closer. Closer…
   There. 
   He stood at the railing behind the stage. 
   From here, he could see the line to the left, and he could see the people who had finished lingering on the other side. None of them spoke to each other, only standing about, icily, waiting for the rest to finish so they’d know which of them was chosen, and who was not. Error had to imagine that these folks were just as lame and boring as the seniors from his old academy. No fun at all. 
   He waited, so, so patiently, for the next few people. The last few. 
   Though he couldn’t see the spells themselves, he could certainly feel the pressure coming off of them. The control that they’d need to balance it. How much it might’ve drained their energy to do it just once. He was attuned to that sort of thing, he had to be. 
   His assessment was that all of these last few folks weren’t bad, but they were no match for Error’s raw talent. 
   Each spell cast seemed to tick away at Error’s patience, until it finally happened. The last mage went on-stage. It seemed there had been 15 of them. 
   He’d have to make 16, then. 
   It felt like a blur as he jumped the rails and let his strings carry him across the open space, much to the shock of the few who had been watching the competitors from around him. The blue lines snatched at the wooden supports of the stage, and he swung right over top, landing a bit messily in the center of the stage.
   He didn’t have time to look at everything. All he knew was the crowd was much larger than last time, that there was a shout of ‘Hey!’’ from somewhere to his left, and that the box across from the stage now held only three people. Monsters. One Error recognized, the knight in shadows who’d spoken to him. The other two he didn’t know, but he had to assume the one in the middle, tall and imposing, and dark, with an eyelight the same colors as the tapestries, was the King he was looking to impress. That was all he needed to know. 
   “M’lord, my name is Error!” He called out across the sand, and in one motion he shrugged the bag off his shoulders and used his strings to tug the orb out of its canvas body. “I want to prove that I’m more capable than any of the adults who just went before me! I could be your mage!” He would be the mage. 
   The orb sat cradled in Error’s hand for only the briefest moment, before it was inside the little net he’d made. He swung it in circles. Again. Again. Again. 
   He had to be fast. He had to do this quick.
   Error spent one last moment, extending his reach through his strings, muttering words and igniting an intangible spark. 
��  For a brief moment, he watched as the King seemed to ease forward. A hand now raised, seemingly calling off his knights, who had been almost in motion. 
   He released the orb directly upwards, momentum carrying it up. 
   Up.
   Up.
   Into the blue sky. Practically into the sun. 
   Error watched it rise above him. 
   Only. 
   “Shit.” 
   His calculations must’ve been off. He must’ve added a layer too many, or maybe he released it a swing too soon. But he could tell that it wouldn’t clear the top of the arena. 
   Maybe if he had a few more seconds he could’ve used strings to boost it. He could’ve sent a magic gust to lift it further. 
   Not the case.
   He watched as the orb detonated, just like it was supposed to. 
   The wave moved horizontally through the air, and swept across the air above the arena so quickly that it sucked the sand from the top layer and threw it against the tall walls. Error’s footing slipped, and he stumbled to his knees on the stage as the wind whipped and tugged the heavy curtains into the air current as well. 
   It was an almost invisible force, Error had to imagine anyone without a solid grasp of magic would entirely miss it as it spread out. 
  He winced as it finally reached the edges of the arena, where he had just barely managed to fall short of clearing. 
   As the magic passed over the stone and mortar, he saw as it fell. Not in chunks, but crumbled like dust into fine particles. The upper half of every arch at the top of the grand amphitheatre, turned pitch black, then wasted away. 
   He hadn’t meant for it to come in contact with anything. It wasn’t supposed to do anything but harmlessly wave over everyone’s heads. As a show of his strength. That was all.
   Error could only think back to when this had happened before. When he’d accidentally exploded Geno’s favorite mug while metering the strength of his strings. When he’d broken the wheel of a carriage passing through the woods with a wayward slingshot blast. When he’d broken all ten of the large windows in the lecture hall of the academy when he failed to complete a spell the way it was written. When he’d done it too well.
   As he rose to his feet, he half expected the nagging voice of his older brother to be there, chastising him for not being more careful, before taking him home and making him dinner. 
   It wasn’t that, though. 
   He watched out across the sand. The king had his head tilted only slightly, looking up at Error’s lofty mistake. At the clean cut where stone now met unbothered air. His knight, the one in all black, was leaned ever so slightly towards him. They must’ve been speaking. Or, at least, the knight was. 
   About Error, he had no doubt. 
   He stayed in place, watching, swaying a bit with the residual force of his own spell lingering in his fingertips. Every instinct which told him to run and to hide were smothered and stamped out by the ligering fact that he had nowhere to go. Without his brothers, there was no one to help him. He knew it. 
   Even in front of this crowd. These mages. This King and his knights. He couldn’t bring himself to move offstage. Some part of him, deep down, childishly wanted the King to announce that he was impressed. To parade him offstage and let him experience what Geno had. Let him know why Geno left. 
   The King’s single eyelight swam back over to look at Error in the silence. 
   Error felt like the world had stopped. 
   It hadn’t.
   There was a clattering of armor and rustling of fabric, suddenly loud in his ears, and he had no time to react as everything came rushing in all at once. 
   Hands. Heavy, gloved hands. Two sets, two hands each wrapped one of his upper arms, and immediately lifted him off the ground. Into the air. 
   Pain flooded into his bones from his soul, like twin lightning strikes, trying to singe the bone and the magic in its core. The pressure wasn’t much, his mind knew that, but his body usually didn’t listen to him. He tried desperately to hold it in. The rampant part of his magic that had been hurting him since he could remember. That made it hard to touch anyone. To shake hands. To hug his brothers. 
   “Let go!” He pleaded, though he wasn’t sure if his voice made any sense. Fresh always told him they couldn’t tell what he was saying when his voice got too bad.
   More pain. He kicked his legs at the open air, and tried to muster control over his strings, just for a moment, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t focus. 
   And all at once it stopped. 
   Error’s feet were on the ground again, though that promptly became his knees again as he swayed and wavered in the sudden aftermath of his active magic dying down. Receding back into his soul. Because it didn’t need to ‘protect’ him anymore.
   He spotted then, as his vision returned to something aside from the gloves or the sky, that the King was no longer in his throne. In fact, there was a heavy, encompassing, magical weight behind him now. Somewhere very, very close-by.
   He took a deep breath, grounding himself. 
   “We are taking a recess.” Announced a booming voice. Very nearby. It was deep, and felt almost the same as the projection spell from two days prior. Then, more quietly, “You will leave the boy to me. Go ensure no one was injured, then manage the crowd. I’ll make my choice tomorrow at sunrise.” 
   The second bit felt quieter, an edge to the tone that Error didn’t quite like. Considering he must be the boy in question. 
   It was a moment, a few muddled ‘Yes, my king’ s, before Error found a pair of boots stepping before him. His head swam as he looked upwards. 
   The King, he figured that had to be him, was dark. Very dark. Like a living, dripping, shadow. Magic seemed to be all he was made of, an aura radiating from him. Dripping off his back into long slimy worms, twitching as they sat near the ground. He wore a fancy cape, too. One with huge gold clasps on his shoulders, one was shaped like the moon. 
   Error looked to his face last. In hindsight, something that could’ve been very, very bad. He was met with a dripping face. Skeletal. The place where his right socket should’ve sat was covered in that dark substance. The other hollow, with that bright cyan orb staring right back at him. 
   “Can you stand?” His voice came easily, and Error braced himself. 
   Could he?
   He had to, he didn’t want to be touched again. 
   Error took another breath, and managed to rise silently to his feet. 
   “Good,” the King said once he was standing, “Follow me.”
   It was an order he didn’t dare refuse. 
.
.
.
   Error found himself in an odd position. 
   He’d been given time to sit and recover from his magic’s outlash, and now he was sat in a room beneath the bleachers of the arena alongside the King and that knight he’d met before. The other one was guarding the door, he thought. 
   It’d been silent for a while, and it was almost expected when the silence was finally broken. 
   “You said your name is Error, correct?” The King asked, and Error gave a nod of yes. He forced himself to meet the King’s gaze.
   “Dust says that you’re only 12, and our people disqualified you in the first round. Is that right?” 
   Error nodded again. 
   “And Dust even explained to you why you were disqualified?” 
   Another nod. It seemed he’d at least made an impression on the knight. Dust. 
   The King tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, eyelight holding Error’s tightly. 
   “Then, I’ll ask, what brought you to think this was a good choice? To try and become Royal Mage above any cost it might bring?” The king asked, and Error was surprised to find it was a shockingly gentle tone. “Your home, your family, your life. You are so young, why put it all on the line like this?” 
   Oh. 
   It was almost funny. Was this whole thing because the king was some sort of charitycase? So disillusioned by his perfect life that he couldn’t even think of the hardships any random kid could go through? He almost grinned at that, barely keeping his mouth from twitching in a mix of frustration and humor.
   “I wanted to prove myself,” He muttered, “And besides, becoming the Royal Mage would be great.” 
   He waited, waited for the King to inhale, to say something, before, 
   “I’m an orphan.” He spat, finally. “Family abandoned me, house is left behind, expelled from school. I don’t want to keep wandering.” 
   It was basically the truth. This was his big break. His one last chance before he became a hated little vagabond. Maybe even a criminal. Maybe he’d have to go on the run for the rest of his life, live as a nomad. Join a caravan. Those people got stopped a lot though, kingdoms didn’t like them. He’d probably explode some city’s bakery by mistake and get put in jail for-
   “Wait!” Error suddenly exclaimed, breaking free of his thoughts, “Am I in trouble? Am I going to jail??” He asked then. 
   His worries slammed to a grinding halt and he stared wide-eyed at the two before him. Geno had always told him not to go making his big stuff near town, because if the guard caught him he wouldn’t be able to bail him out. He’d end up in jail. Of course, it’d never happened back then because he was always fast enough. Always smart enough to get out of dodge when he broke something or made poor decisions. Here? Here he hadn’t run when he had the chance. 
   The King stared at him, his one eyelight nearly mirroring Error’s in surprise at the question. 
   “I mean,” he started, “You’re young. If I wont let you work for me, I wouldn’t dare put you in prison either.” The King stated, “Though, you did do quite a bit of damage to the theatre.” 
   Error watched him break eye contact finally and look over his shoulder to the Knight stood there. He’d been silently watching Error too. 
   When he had no insight, The king seemed to heave a sigh, and the shadowy extra limbs which draped around him twitched. 
   “You’re sure you have no family? No home?” the King asked him again, and Error nodded.
   The king muttered something under his breath, and shot the Knight another look. The knight shrugged. 
   “I… Will not employ you. Though, I do see talent in you, Error.” the King said carefully, a bit slower in his words than he had been up until now. Almost… unsure. “I will, however, extend to you the title so that you may conduct…” He waved a hand before himself, as though searching for a word, “ You may conduct independent research. If you accept, of course.”
   “You would be free to resend your acceptance at any moment, no strings attached, and may take any work you complete along with you, and any pay you receive would be given to you after your 16th birthday, if you stay that long.” He added, “I’ll have to rewrite the contract, but-”
   “I accept!” 
   Error couldn’t help himself. He was so excited he could puke. The last thing he’d expected was to pull this off. This shitshow of a scheme actually got him the job? He could scream. He could jump up and down for joy. He didn’t, he sat eagerly and tense in his seat instead, but he could’ve. 
   The King seemed to hesitate, for a few breaths, before relaxing. He stood, and offered a hand out slowly to Error. 
   Error stood too, grinning. He could manage this one. He could do it. 
   It was brief, but he grasped the King’s hand and shook it firmly.
   “Dust, will you help Error locate his belongings, and escort him to wherever he is staying tonight? I’ll send Cross to swap with you a bit later. We’ll reconvene in the morning just before sunrise.” 
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herbofgraceandpeace · 9 months ago
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. 🤭🫠
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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you
#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that#will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo#$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive#and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started#anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean#and i am just so sad right now#and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun#not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course#i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as#breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage#i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard#i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade#and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that#:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything
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vanmarkus · 7 months ago
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I hope you'll remember me fondly because by the time we get to episode 6, I'll be in the ground, perished
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months ago
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...
#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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tardis--dreams · 3 months ago
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Alright maybe my coworkers don't Actually hate me after all~
#me since Friday: omg you made it weird they all resent you now#my colleagues today: have you prepared for your appointment? [giving me 100 tips on how to get through it]#'actually you should start as an editor right away it would be unfair to make you do a traineeship'#wait you support that? i thought you hated me because I'd be useless for you because i couldn't help you as I do now anymore??#(i didn't say the 'i thought you hate me' part lol. i just said 'oh but wouldn't it be to your disadvantage?' and no. apparently not#whoops#also when i had the conversation with the boss he was leaning very much towards the traineeship#but also said 'well but [name] said a traineeship wouldn't be necessary for you because you already are so familiar with everything#and we also offer the additional trainings to our editors so hmmm'#like what? she actually told you that? (even my other two coworkers were like 'oh she told HIM directly??' like. i'm soft)#so yeah let's see where this gets me. if i actually get an Actual job there it will be much more stressful because I'll have fixed#working hours. but it would also be nice to stop being primarily a student. that's like. the main thing.#also when i was on the train with coworker 1 (I'll give them numbers now lol) he told me coworker 2 said she liked working with me#and coworker 3 was excited to hear i was coming to the office when he told her. like ???#ok enough of this#i just feel a bit better now that i know I didn't actually break their trust or whatever and they don't hate me lol#(also coworker 3 seemed really excited when we were talking about the trainings (like. special courses. usually during the weekend) I'd have#to do because she wants to do them too and 'we can do that together then!!! that would be great!!'#void screams#work stuff
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aberooski · 11 months ago
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Every day I tell myself "all I have to do is make it through today" and I'm realizing that I don't know how I feel about the fact that I feel like I have to tell myself that every single day.
#a lot of times it's because I hate my job and I'm miserable#I literally cried in the car on the way home today because I got so stressed during my shift#never work at a movie theater kids it's awful#I wish I didn't#I wish I could have a real job because I fucking went to college I got my fucking dgree#and yet this was the best I could do because I've never had a job in my life so no one would give me the time of day#I feel humiliated every single day I walk into the building#I feel like such a failure and an embarrassment#and that's not to say everyone who works at the theatre ahould feel that way that's now what I'm saying#but that's how I personally feel about myself and the situation that I am in#and we're entering the busiest week of the year so it sucks even more than usual#but also I'm just so tired from this year it's been a really bad one for me and my family#just abysmal in every way#so I have to remind myself I have to make it through the day every day right now#but you know what it's fine I have a chapter done and ready to go on Christmas and it's been almlst 4 years in the making#so in that case I have a present for some of you and I'm really excited about it#it's gonna be a sad Christmas for us because everyone in my family is broke but I hope you guys all have a better holiday than I will#and as someone who adores Christmas like it's my favorite day of the year type adore I'm just really down in the dumps right now#just feeling very sad#but anyway sorry rant over I have to go to bed#I don't get saturday's off and those are my lingest shifts so 🙃#I get christmas eve and christmas ofd tough 😊#but not the day after 🙃#anyway bedtime for me sorry to rant guys#abby's self deprecation hour#abby after dark
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asinglesock · 1 year ago
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had a stress dream that I'd been enrolled in a fifth class this semester and not known about it and that I was failing because of never attending class or turning in assignments
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teabookgremlin · 1 year ago
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really hate that any time someone seems slightly upset with me i cry
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priestfrommidnightmass · 1 year ago
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lately ’ve been feeling kinda guilty because i’ve been feeling much less satisfied and proud of this incredible opportunity i’ve received that i’ve been hoping and dreaming of for ages than i was with my silly summer job taking care of kids and like. i don’t know i’ve been reconsidering if being in film is even what i actually want to do because tbh i’ve been realizing that my actual dream is just to. be liked and have friends and be around people? i’ve been lonely for so long and i definitely know i’ve projected a lot of my desires and dreams onto my writing and lived vicariously though a lot of films and it was so important to me because it felt like it was life or death. so now that i like. have friends and have more life experiences and am satisfied with my place the idea of actually Working in film is just… i don’t know! it’s kinda been making me feel sick everytime i think about it. i don’t think i’m actually passionate about the thing i thought i was. i’ve found something i’m good at and it’s not what i thought it was or thought i wanted whatsoever! that’s scary because even questioning this kinda makes me feel like my life is turning upside down! i feel like that post where someone said they started taking anti depressants and is now deleting their bts account or something
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