#it just made me get a paycheck periodically that I wasn’t even excited for

[spaghetticat3899]

Family members questioning why I constantly worry about saving/spending money, like I haven’t been constantly reminded of how much money it costs for me to exist

[wowsosad]

Sam calling Dean dad/daddy? Take that wherever and however you want 🖤

Hi nonnie :)

CW/TW: Weecest (Sam is 14, Dean is 18), avid references to this post, Daddy!Dean, Sam acts younger than he is (psychological regression who? Freud would have a field day), quite soft and fluffy, really no nsfw here

.

They’re in an apartment this time, and it’s rented every two weeks instead of every month. They’re close to St. Louis, but not within the city by any means. John’s been running around in the surrounding counties, going after a variety of salt and burns while Sam attends the nearby high school, and Dean made money bussing tables and serving at a bar (no time for high school, these days. Too many monsters and too little money). Today is a day like any other.

Sam’s leg bounced where he sat in his seventh-period class. He liked American history well enough, but the curriculum for freshman at his last school, Columbus High School in Nebraska, did ancient world history for freshmen. He liked that far more than WW2, which he’s learned about 16 separate times already.

Sam’s friend—“friend” being a tentative term—Derek was leaning against his hand, eyelids drooping. The teacher had finished for the day, and was giving them time to work on their homework assignments. Sam had been done with them for days, and was eagerly looking at the clock, anxious for school to be over. Derek’s eyes traveled up and down Sam’s body, blasé enough that it didn’t feel weird.

“What’re you so excited about?” Derek mumbled, and Sam’s attention snapped away from the clock on the wall. 2:50, ten minutes ‘til class was up.

Sam’s leg continued bouncing, “My dad’s picking me up.” A grin threatened to split across his cheeks, and Derek rolled his eyes.

“Your dad always picks you up. There’s nothing exciting about that,” Derek scuffed his shoe against the floor. Sam frowned.

“You’re just jealous ‘cause you’re a bus rider,” Sam switched which leg he was bouncing, and Derek hummed in acknowledgement. As they were talking, the rest of the class began abandoning their work in favor of socialization.

“I’m not jealous. My dad’s a total goober. If he picked me up I’d be embarrassed. Your dad, though,” Derek mimed steering a car, “He’s got that cool Impala. It’s hard to be lame in one of those.”

Sam grinned, finally letting his glee show on his face, “Yeah, my dad is pretty cool. So is his car.”

The second the bell rang, Sam bolted out of the classroom. He barely stopped by his locker to drop off the books he didn’t need for homework, then he was out of the building like a flash. Dean’s car was smack-dab-center in the car-rider line, and Sam hurried to it, satchel smacking against his thigh as he slowed his pace. “Four Sticks” by Led Zeppelin was audible from the stereo, and Sam stuck his head in the open window. He met Dean’s eye with a wide smile. It was Wednesday, which meant Dean wasn’t working.

Dean’s shift at the bar always started at 4:00 and ended at midnight. The only days he didn’t work were Wednesday and Sunday, which meant Sam loved Wednesday and Sunday.

“Dad!”

Dean’s smile split across his face, “Sammy! Come on, get in.”

Sam hurried into the car, tossing his bag to the ground between his legs, and leaning forward to meet Dean in the middle. Dean wrapped an arm around Sam, cradling his neck, and pressed a firm kiss to his forehead. When released, Sam flopped against the seat with a smile.

“I missed you, daddy,” Sam blinked, and Dean grinned before ruffling his hair.

“I missed you too, kiddo. I got my paycheck, you wanna go get some ice cream?”

Sam’s smile grew even wider, “Milkshakes?”

“Whatever you want,” Dean affirmed, and pulled out of the car-rider line.

Once home, his stomach full of a burger, fries, and milkshake, Sam slumped on the living room couch with a deflated, content sigh. He was flopped up against the armrest, lithe body lain across the couch cushions, and Dean smiled at him softly. The older boy followed Sam onto the couch, crowding over him. Sam’s breath hitched, his jaw ticking up as Dean’s face hovered over his.

“Daddy,” Sam cooed, eyelashes fluttering, “You’re not working tonight.” He was giddy. It was already past 4:00, and usually, Dean would’ve been long-gone by now. Most days, Sam prided himself in his maturity. He was a pretty grown-up kid, knew how to hunt monsters and how to kill them, was mostly fluent in Latin, had fired a gun more times than the average 14-year-old boy. But he felt small with Dean, like falling back into a littler version of himself. Dean never made fun of him for it.

Dean bent down onto his elbows, one hand coming up to cradle Sam’s jaw.

“You’re right, I’m not workin’. I’m all yours this evening. Whaddaya wanna do?” Dean’s fingers, calloused and warm, gently scratched up and down Sam’s soft jaw. He hadn’t yet grown facial hair yet, unlike Dean, who had scruff he maintained. It made him look older, and more handsome.

“We could watch a movie,” Sam bit his bottom lip, worrying at the inflamed, reddened skin there. Dean’s thumb moved to remove Sam’s lip from his mouth with a tut.

“You should stop bitin’ there, Sammy. You’re hurtin’ yourself,” Dean’s gaze was pensive, unconcerned. He’d been repeating that for years. If Sam wasn’t biting his lip, it was the inside of his cheek, or his nails. “A movie sounds good, though. I got Ferris Bueller’s Day Off from the Blockbuster downtown,” Dean tapped Sam’s chin, “Does that sound good, kiddo?”

Sam nodded, and smiled, “Yeah, daddy, that sounds good.”

[omegaremix]

Record Store Victory Tour, 2018.

Having three shoulder operations to beat cancer has been the ultimate life victory thus far. It was the most amazing and largest outpouring of support ever. Friends, family, allies, co-workers in good-standing, and even names whom I haven’t seen or heard from in years came to congratulate me and wish me onto a speedy recovery. I don’t know if nine months is what you call “speedy”. Nine months of shoulder replacements, ten weeks of in-home nurse visits, a MRSA infection, six weeks of in-home intravenous antibiotics, and missing two label showcases were balanced out with staying up until 4AM every morning finding endless music (Negril, Robert Ashley, and Steve Khan to name a few), daily postings, heavy amounts of sleep, and Dad’s daily deliveries of free food full of steak, sushi, pizza, chicken, egg rolls, and pasta. With a nine-month blackout period of not leaving the house ever, you had to make the best of it. I knew that after this I would never ever answer to any random nobody about my shoulder. And looking back at it, I say to myself as to why I even let it go so far.

Working for a great company and playing your cards right, you could sit and collect benefits while staying at home doing almost next to nothing. I now had more money in the bank when I last left work. So I promised myself that after I fully recover, I’d treat myself like I never had before. I decided that I would go on a record-store victory tour. I would hit up each and every independent record place, go crazy, and buy up everything I can. After nine months of being bed-ridden and staying home, I needed to treat myself with retail therapy. I needed to get out there and be myself again. Of all I been through and endured, I deserved it.

I didn’t immediately do it, however. It took me a few months to earn back the $2,000 I lost in savings when the benefits ended. While that happened, I enjoyed hot August days walking from my house to the veteran’s park and back, witnessed my ex- Yenny get married, attended Hospital Productions’ 20th Anniversary showcase (a day I will never forget), had a night out in my neighborhood Dave & Busters with my co-workers, and started getting in touch with a Brooklyn witch. I made two label orders with Italians Do It Better and RRRecords which help things get started. As you see, it only got better.

February came and we got a surprise $1,000 from our company. Tax refunds and a third paycheck of the month sealed the deal and all systems go. My first stop was at Patchogue’s Record Stop, their new location since moving from their Shirley warehouse, and thumbed through whatever old-school hip-hop, 12” singles, and other small easy victories I could find. It wasn’t until places like West Sayville’s Vinyl Paradise was when spending three hours minimum searching in stores and $200.00 a visit on music was normal. I can also count West Babylon’s Looney Tunes, Mineola’s Mr. Cheapo’s, and Amityville’s High Fidelity who could’ve matched the totals I had from that store. It’s all about finding the most for less. Whether it’s Seventies’ jazz / fusion on vinyl, discount 12” singles, used CDs, dollar hardcore / punk 45’s, or other long-awaited finds, amassing history and style points is the most self-serving and exciting hunt I take part of. Other stores such as Northport’s Record Reserve, Massapequa’s Infinity Records, Riverhead’s Sunday Records, and Rosie’s Vintage (the smallest of them all) allowed for tidier spaces and friendlier prices for me to walk out with, with smaller receipts ranging from a mere $30.00 to $100.00.

Of course, with many victories come disappointments. Plainview just opened a new store called Vinyl Bay 777. It’s one of the cleanest and shiniest stores on the island, but also the most expensive. With a penchant for ambition and grading, their selections are anywhere from three to five times the price of what you’d find in others store. It was the only experience of the tour that I left feeling poor and let down. The other disappointment? Innersleeve Records all the way at the East End / Amangansett. Why? I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to go.

And almost every store have their own legacy. Record Stop’s been around since 1974 starting in Ronkonkoma, then shuffling to a warehouse in Shirley before finally settling in Patchogue. The family-owned and highly-awarded Looney Tunes had survived a summer fire and took them 90 days to rebuild. This year they’ll celebrate their 50th anniversary. Mr Cheapo’s has two locations, the only store on the island to do so. High Fidelity moved to larger and cleaner digs which solved their storage issues. Record Reserve just moved again; their fourth time in ten years of operation. Infinity Records was the only store on the ropes during the pandemic relying on crowd-funding to make up for the rent. Rosie’s Vintage isn’t owned by Rosie. In fact, Rosie doesn’t exist. It’s a rockabilly wife named Thea who owns an antique store. And you can’t get any literal than Sunday Records, which is only open on Sundays. It’s the only store I know who classified their records not on genre but radio stations and chart positions.

The entire experience was great and I looked to do it again the year after. Unfortunately, I had lots of traffic tickets, fees, and violations to pay. With a vehicle in disrepair and an expired inspection, driving out in daylight without the police spotting me was not ideal. Then I looked to do it last year, and we all know what happened. The pandemic paralyzed and killed businesses left and right. With immediate closures and stop of life, everyone stayed home for their lives.

Next time, it’s going down.

Essential money was saved all throughout the pandemic. Two stimulus checks later, a third on the way, tax refunds, a third bi-weekly check in April, and a bank transfer means I’m ready to do it all over again. In fact, it’s already started! Rough Trade announced it’s relocating from its’ Williamsburg spot. With 25% off books, merchandise, and CDs, it was an incentive to get to it. With me waiting forever to go, now was the chance. I found the perfect March Wednesday to do it and I finally made it happen. What you’ll read later on became the most expensive purchase I ever made at a record store, and also the greatest.

Most locations (except Vinyl Bay 777, replaced by any given one New York City store) are on the list for the next record-store tour. I healed mostly from last summer’s depression and I had a trouble-free winter. With a day out at Williamsburg’s Rough Trade, the spring euphoria and hope came back like it did the first time around. With money in the bank, vaccines, and everything coming back into play, it’s time to have fun again like I want to.

For those who can’t be harassed by looking up our series and reading our visits one-by-one, here’s the final results of 2018’s tour:

Record Stop:

Sugarhill Gang “The Lover In You” 12”

Grover Washington Jr. Mister Magic

Carmen McRae In Person

U.T.F.O. “Roxanne, Roxanne” 12”

Ahmad “Back In The Day” 12”

DJ Yella “4 Tha E” 12”

L.A. Style “James Brown Is Dead” 12”

Knucklehedz “Hed Rush” 12”

Flatlinerz “Live Evil” 12”

Blondie “Rapture” 7”

Chemical Brothers Come With Us

Royal Trux Thank You

Delerium ft. Sarah McLachlan & DJ Tiesto “Silence”

Prime Minister Pete Nice & Daddy Rich “Rap Prime Minister & Daddy Rich (Rat Bastard)” 12”

Vinyl Paradise:

Laura Nyro Christmas And The Beads Of Sweat

Genesis Invisible Touch

Clash, The Black Market Clash 10″

Delegation The Promise Of Love

Herbie Hancock “Rockit”

B-52’s, The Wild Planet

Blondie Parallel Lines

Spyro Gyra Catching The Sun

Brecker Bros. self-titled

Herb Alpert Rise

Heart Dreamboat Annie

Tom Scott Blow It Out

Pat Metheny American Garage

Martha Velez Escape From Babylon

Stanley Turrentine Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

Bob James & Earl Klugh One On One

Sister Sledge All-American Girls

Black Moon “Who Got The Props?” b/w “Fuck It Up”

Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock “It Takes Two”

Shannon Let The Music Play

Jellybean “Wotupski?”

Fu-Schnickens “Sum Dum Monkey” b/w “Visions (20/20)”

Tortoise & Autechre “Adverse Camber” b/w “To Day Retrieval”

Shirts, The Inner Sleeve

Freedom U.S.A. Hardcore

Coke Bust Confined

Ressurection I Am Not: The Discography

Spit It Out self-titled

Vice Flawed

Terror The Walls Will Fall

This Is Hell Bastards Still Remain 

Subterfuge Fight Back 

Bikini Kill self-titled single red 7″

Hangman A Vile Decree 

Dead Kennedys “Nazi Punks Fuck Off!” (with lyric bag and armbands)

Until Your Heart Stops We Are Not Coming Down

Corrective Measure self-titled

Soft Cell “Tainted Love”

Kraftwerk “Pocket Calculator” b/w “Dentaku” clear yellow 7”

Six Weeks label America In Decline CD

Tear It Up The December 2000 Sessions CD

Dee Cracks “Be My Valentine” red heart-shaped flexi

This Means War “Use It Up” flexi

Broadcaster b/w Aspiga (Secret Audio Club Wax Pack)

Marathon b/w Fire When Ready(Secret Audio Club Wax Pack)

Looney Tunes:

Up In Arms / Eternal Youth split 7”

Defiant Trespass / Cold Like December split 7”

Make Or Break Down For Life! 7”

Arcadius / 7654 Stories split 7”

Pissed Jeans demo 7”

Search Bloc Life, By The Code 7”

Proud Youth Nothing’s Changed 7”

UN Bodies Unremarkably Mortal 7”

Force Of Change The Bond We Share 7”

Self Defense Family “Indoor Wind Chimes” b/w “Cottaging”

Tolerate self-titled 7”

Joe South & The Believers “Walk A Mile In My Shoes” b/w “Trespass”

Bread And Water / Reason Of Insanity split 7”

Stigmata There Is No Mercy Here 7”

Degenerats, The 7”

Monster X 1993 demo 7”

Last Dead Word 7”

Let It Burn From Jersey With Love 7”

Slak Another Disaster 7”

Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These” 7”

Toni Basil “Mickey” 7”

Squeeze “853-5937″ 7”

Nena “99 Luftballons” 12”

Staple Singers City In The Sky

Unsung Heroes “What Would You Do?” 12”

White Mystery self-titled

D.S. 13 Vad Vet Vi Om Kriget?

Killing Joke Brighter Than A Thousand Suns

Marc Hurtado & Vomir 2011 / Sang+

Razed In Black Shrieks, Laments, And Anguished Cries

No Future Plan Of Attack

Die Krupps & Front Line Assembly Remix Wars

Maldoror She

Self Defense Family Heaven Is Earth cassette

Unholy Archangel The Wrath Of Kosmostistis cassette

Tod Hate Campiagn, Hymn To The Death cassette

Krieg Blue Miasma cassette

Hekseri The Atrocity (Early Demos) cassette

Crebain Under Black Wigs Of Night cassette

Riddle Of Meander End Of All Life And Creation cassette

Black Flame Torment And Glory cassette

Xasthur self-titled cassette

Krieg Songs For Resistance cassette

Striborg A Procession Of Lost Souls cassette

Tod Black Metal Manifesto cassette

Cheapo's (Commack):

Blackbyrds, The Action

Deodato 2

Jon Lucien The Best Of…

Bob James 2

Hubert LawsRomeo & Juliet

Deodato Love Island

Rolling Stones Undercover (stickered)

Bob James 3

Deodato Whirlwinds

George Benson White Rabbit

Bob James 4

Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth Mecca & The Soul Brother

Jedi Mind Tricks Legacy Of Blood

Naughty By Nature self-titled

M.I.A. Arular

P.O.S. Never Better special edition disc

Unseen, The Explode

Richard Hell & The Voidoids Blank Generation

M.I.A. Kala

All Dogs 7”

Last Shop Standing DVD

Katt Williams The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1 DVD

Jerky Boys, The Stop Staring At Me cassette

Paula AbdulForever Your Girl cassette

Record Reserve:

Cars, The Shake It Up

Rolling Stones, The Some Girls (cut-out)

Peter Gabriel Melt

Weather Report Heavy Weather

A Clockwork Orange motion picture soundtrack

Genesis Abacab

Laura Nyro self-titled

Stranglers, The IV

Samantha Fox I Wanna Have Some Fun

Spyro Gyra self-titled

Cars, The Candy-O

Peter Gabriel Scratch

Debbie Gibson Out Of The Blue

Spent Idols “Chinese Suicide” b/w “Gacy’s Gone” 7″

Out Cider D.C. label Raise The Flag: DC Hardcore Vol. 1 7″

High Fidelity:

Prurient & Kevin Drumm  All Are Guests In The House Of The Lord

KMD  Mr. Hood

Sonic Youth   Evol

Algiers  self-titled

ESG  A South Bronx Story deluxe disc

No Age   Nouns

Greymachine Disconnected

Killing Joke   Hosannas From The Basements Of Hell

Television   Marquee Moon expanded disc

Esther Phillips  Capricorn Princess

Severed Heads  Cuisine With Piscatorial

Elastica  self-titled

Sonic Youth & Mats Gustavsson & Merzbow  SYR8

Killing Joke  Pandemonium

Eric Gale  Multiplication

Front Line Assembly  Echoes

Wavves  King Of The Beach

Strawberry Switchblade  Since Yesterday 12”

Bjork   Telegraph

Public Image Ltd.  Second Edition

Esther Phillips  Performance

Hatebreed  The Rise Of Brutality

Killing Joke  Night Time

Wilbert Longmire  Champagne

Grover Washington, Jr.  A Secret Place

Young Black Teenagers  “Tap The Bottle” 12”

Sagat  “Funk Dat” 12”

Crash Crew   “Breaking Bells (Take Me To The Mardi Gras)” 12”

Prurient   Pleasure Ground

Victory Records  Victory Style II

Esther Phillips & Joe Beck  For All We Know

Sonic Youth  Confusion Is Sex + Kill Your Idols

Swell Maps  A Trip To Marineville

Severed Heads   Rotund For Success

Whodini  Escape

Killing Joke   Revelations

Stop The Violence Movement, The  “Self-Destruction” 12”

Eric Gale  Part Of You

Professionals, The   “The Magnificent” 7”

Guyana Punch Line  self-titled 7”

Heart   self-titled cassette

Infinity Records:

Self Defense Family “Self Immolation Family” b/w “World Virgins” 7”

Peter Gabriel Security

Mantronix The Album

Eric Gale Forecast

Arsonists As The World Burns

Beat Street motion picture soundtrack

Kool & The GangLight Of Worlds

Dire Straits Making Movies

Shirts, The Street Light Shine

Belinda Carlisle Belinda

Makers, The Rock Star God

Bug, The Infected

Peter Gabriel Car

Filter Short Bus

Warzone Fight for Justice

Mood Doom

Jane’s Addiction Nothing’s Shocking

Depeche Mode Ultra

Curve Cuckoo

Rosie's Vintage:

Genesis Abacab

Nice & Wild “Diamond Girl” 12″

Shabba Ranks “Mr. Loverman” 12″

Dire Straits self-titled

Mad Skillz “Nod Factor” 12“

Boogiemonsters “Recognized Thresholds Of Negative Stress 12″

Blahzay Blahzay “Danger!” 12″

Harold Faltermeyer “Axel F” 12“

Spyro Gyra self-titled

Malcomb McLaren & The World Famous Supreme Team “Buffalo Gals” 12″

Sunday Records:

Cabaret Voltaire  The Arm Of The Lord

Nitzer Ebb As Is

Strawberry Switchblade  Who Knows What Love Is?

Steve Jones  Mercy

Patti Smith  Easter

Ramsey Lewis  Tequila Mockingbird

Doors, The  Greatest Hits

Cabaret Voltaire  Drinking Gasoline

Utah Saints “Something Good”

Image In Vogue self-titled EP

Steely Dan  Pretzel Logic

No Age  Losing Feeling

Dead Or Alive “Brand New Lover”

Cabaret Voltaire  The Drain Train

Public Image Ltd. “Home”

Gary Numan “Cars” / “Metal”

Malcomb McLaren “Soweto” b/w “Zulu’s On A Time Bomb”

J. Geils Band “Centerfold” b/w “Rage In The Cage”

Fad Gadget “One Man’s Meat” b/w “Sleep”

Tony Basil “Mickey” b/w “Hangin’ Around”

Stray Cats “(She’s) Sexy + 17” b/w “Lookin’ Better Every Beer”

Madness “Our House” b/w “Cardiac Arrest”

Todd Rundgren “Hello It’s Me” b/w “Cold Morning Light”

No Age  Eraser 7”

Suzanne Vega “Luca” b/w “Night Vision”

Siouxsie Sioux & The Banshees “Hong Kong Garden” b/w “Night Vision”

Mr. Cheapo’s (Mineola):

Mic Geronimo “Masta I.C.”

Jemini The Gifted One “Funk Soul Sensation”

Hi-Tek “Hi Teknology”

Schoolly D “Livin’ In The Jungle” b/w “Gucci Again”

Richie Cole New York Afternoon

Dott & Night School Carousel split e.p.

Joe Beck self-titled

Chick Corea Return To Forever

Hank Crawford Hank Crawford’s Back

Steve Khan��Tightrope

Tappan Zee label Best Of…

Shabba Ranks “Ram Dancehall” b/w “Original Woman”

D&D All-Stars “1, 2 Pass It”

Rayvon “No Guns, No Murder”

Doug E. Fresh & Beenie Man “Hands In The Air”

Black Moon “Black Smif-N-Wesson” b/w Smif-N-Wesson “Headz Ain’t Redee”

Goats, The “Burn The Flag” b/w “Typical American”

Little Shawn “Don Perignon”

Specials, The More Specials

Lee Ritenour The Best Of…

Steve Khan Arrows

Genesis Invisible Touch

Vacancies, The Tantrum

Nobodys, The Generation XXX

Easy Action Friends Of Rock & Roll

New Bomb Turks Scared Straight

Roots, The Do You Want More?!!!??!

Eric B & Rakim Don’t Sweat The Technique

Boogie Down Productions Edutainment

X Clan Xodus

Lords Of The Underground Here Come The Lords

Buckshot LeFonque self-titled

Channel Live Station Identification

Funkdoobiest Brothas Doobie

Method Man & Mary J. Blige “I’ll Be There For You” / “You’re All I Need”

GZA / Genius Liquid Swords

Milk Never Dated

Naughty By Nature19 Naughty III

Das EFX Straight Up Sewaside

Grand Puba 2000

Naughty By Nature Poverty’s Paradise

Ol’ Dirty Bastard Return To The 36 Chambers (dirty version)

George Michael Faith

Vinyl Bay 777:

(No purchases.)

[coffeecatsandcandles]

AHHH your most recent one shot for parent-teacher conference is so heartwarming. May I ask, what would Bucky’s and Becca’s individual reaction if they found out that y/n’s preggo?

Surprise | Parent-Teacher Conference

➵ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | You fall sick one day, and the possibility that it could be something more than a little cold occurs to you.

➵ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | widowed!dad!teacher!bucky barnes x teacher!reader

➵ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | talk of pregnancy and fertility, a bit of a time jump so Rebecca is twelve, this is the PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE universe, refer to my masterlist if you have not read it and are interested! Sickness (talk of nausea and periods but nothing graphic). Mostly fluff.

დ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | დ 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | დ 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢

Rebecca had been begging for a little brother or sister- she wanted a brother, but she wasn’t going to complain if she got a sister- and you kept telling her that you weren’t sure if you and James were going to have another baby. You weren’t really planning on it- sure, it came up in conversation a few times, but you always just thought that Rebecca was enough. If you never ended up pregnant, you’d be okay with that because you had Rebecca. Maybe having kids just wasn't something you ever thought of, especially after teaching kindergarten. But Rebecca, your angel student whose father was a dream, was the one to change all that.

You had been more tired than normal. At first, you blamed it on your schedule change after changing your part-time university position to full-time. But then, you woke up and felt terrible, like you couldn’t get out of bed. It was rare for you to miss a day of teaching, and you especially didn’t want to make the wrong impression with your boss, like you couldn’t do the job you’d been begging to have for years. Luckily, she was understanding and wished for a speedy recovery.

James assumed you’d caught a bug, and he was adamant about staying home with you to take care of you.

“No, honey. Don’t stay home. Aren’t you starting your World War II unit today? I’ll be okay, I promise. I just need rest,” You said, voice groggy and head pounding.

“Alright, but you call me the second you need me, okay? I really hate leaving you all by yourself when you’re feeling like this.” James said as he made his way out the door, looking back at you every other second.

“I’ll be fine, trust me.” You giggled at his protectiveness. The idea of being pregnant hadn’t even occurred to you yet.

“Goddamn college kids, getting my wife sick,” you heard James mutter to himself. The seriousness in his tone made you laugh even harder.

Then you really thought about it- none of your students seemed sick. You hadn’t been around anyone who had been sick recently. That confused you even more- where in the world did this illness come from? You were always on top of your health, not feeling this bad in years.

You were deep in thought when you realized- you were late.

You’d been so busy with the transition part-time to full-time, you hadn’t even thought about it. It could’ve just been stress…

Or…

With a newfound energy, you sprung out of bed and grabbed your shoes. Finding the nearest pharmacy was the only thing on your mind.

Just to be sure, you thought.

It was kind of funny, you assumed the first thing you’d buy with your first paycheck with a new salary was going to be a nice dinner with James and Rebecca. It’d be your treat, maybe even a dessert to take home.

Instead, you bought the most accurate pregnancy test the pharmacy had to offer, along with a snack or two to hide the fact that you were buying a pregnancy test. What if a former student or co-worker were to see you? You’d never hear the end of it from them.

The denial of being pregnant soon faded into an excitement. You were almost hoping for it, despite not being prepared in the slightest. It was something Rebecca had been wanting for months now, her asking you at least once a week if you were going to give her a baby brother or sister. The kind of adamance only twelve-year-olds had.

Your phone buzzed as you sat on the bathroom floor, waiting for results. James’s name appeared on your screen.

I’ll ask Steve if he can take Bec home from school later.

You began typing immediately.

No, don't worry about it. I’m feeling a lot better.

You saw the typing bubble appear- you awaited for your husband’s response.

Are you sure? He won’t mind.

Before you could craft your response, your timer went off. Taking a deep breath to ease your pounding heart, you prepared yourself to see your results. You tried closing your eyes and talking to yourself, counting down from ten to help. A technique you used with your kindergarteners years ago, it still sometimes worked with you.

Ten, nine, eight…

It’s fine. Whatever happens, whatever results I get, it’ll be okay.

Seven, six, five…

If there’s no baby, I’ll be okay. If there is a baby, I’ll be okay.

Four, three…

I’ve wanted this, Rebecca has wanted this. James is such a great dad, he’d be so happy.

Two…

But if I’m not, it’s not the end of the world.

One.

Look. Just look and see for yourself. Whatever it says, it’ll be okay.

Your eyes opened and adjusted for a second, allowing you to read the tiny word.

Pregnant.

-

For the rest of the afternoon until you had to leave to pick up Rebecca, you were daydreaming about growing your beautiful family. You were pregnant- and still in some disbelief that you were actually going to have a baby with James.

As you drove to her school, you thought about Rebecca. How excited she was going to be once she found out. It’d have to be a while, just to be on the safe side. But still- you knew she was going to be over the moon.

Rebecca hopped into your car, strapping herself into the backseat. “You’re not sick anymore!”

She noticed.

“Yeah, it just went away. Dad wanted Uncle Steve to pick you up, but I told him I was feeling better.”

“Mr. Parker said that starting next week we’re going to be learning about planets. He said that earth has tectonic plates.” she said, proud she pronounced the big word correctly.

You smiled. When you heard a former student of yours was going to be Rebecca’s seventh grade science teacher, the last person you expected was Peter Parker. He’d grown to be a nice young man, and he hugged you with excitement at that first parent-teacher meeting, remembering you immediately. He’d changed drastically since the last time you saw him- he used to be the student in the back of the class with his hood on, and you were never sure if he was paying attention during lectures. He proved you wrong though, as he never got anything below an A on his tests. 

The hood- he never took that thing off, that is, until after James yelled at him that one afternoon. And you yelled at him back.

The student who brought you and James together was all grown up now, and it excited you and made you feel ancient at the same time. 

“Well, how about we make some cupcakes when we get home? After homework of course,” you said.

Rebecca beamed- baking with you was one of her favorite things to do, but it was only saved for super special occasions. After nodding, she pried. “Did something happen?”

“Why do you ask?”

“We never bake unless something happens. Something good.”

You thought about it, and she had a point. The cookies you made when you got the university job, the cupcakes you made on your fifth wedding anniversary, hell, you even made a blueberry pie when James got tenured at Westview. “I’m… I’m just… glad to not be sick anymore.”

Rebecca squinted, as if she didn’t believe you. “Alright, mom,” she teased, “but only if it’s strawberry cupcakes.”

“What other flavor would they be?” You smiled and winked, soon pulling into the driveway of your home. James must’ve arrived not too long ago, as his car was in the driveway.

Upon entering the home, you found James already started on dinner: a simple spaghetti with meat sauce, and some homemade garlic bread.

Smells you used to love… until now.

That first waft of ground beef with garlic put your stomach in knots. Nausea suddenly hit you and it felt like the room was spinning.

But you had to act like everything was okay, because if James or Rebecca suspected that something was wrong even for a second, the whole surprise would be ruined.

“Yes! Garlic bread!” Rebecca exclaimed, setting down her backpack in the front room and running to give her father a hug.

“Hey sweet pea,” James said to Becca, who was now nearly at his shoulders.

Your mouth was salivating, and not in a good way. Trying to wipe the sweat from your brow, you spoke. “Hey, don’t forget your homework. Otherwise, no cupcakes,”

Becca returned to her backpack, pulling out a textbook and folder. She then made her way to the kitchen table to start her work.

James found you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your forehead. Every soreness and nauseating feeling you had before finding out about your pregnancy came back then, only ten times stronger.

“You okay?” James asked, noticing you were in a cold sweat. You really took for granted those few hours where you were feeling alright.

You could feel your stomach churn, knowing that things would take a turn for the worst if you didn’t say something right now.

“James,” you croaked, trying to muster up the strength to talk, “I need to lie down,”

Within a millisecond, James was guiding you to the couch, his hand on the small of your back in case you lost your balance.

“What’s wrong? I thought you were feeling better,” he asked as he laid you down, his voice low. The kind of tone he rarely used. A tone that said, Becca can’t hear this, we don’t want to scare her.

“Oh, Jamie,” you whined, your voice low, “I wanted to surprise you after dinner, and then I took one whiff of the spaghetti and I felt like I was going to vomit.”

James furrowed his brows, “Surprise me?”

You didn’t like that you couldn’t have that magical moment in telling him; that you just had to be too sick to stand up. But you remembered your wedding vows.

That no matter what, James would always be there for you, in sickness and in health.

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered. 

James’s eyes widened. “You’re what?” he asked, trying to keep his voice low. Almost like it was a protective instinct, He rubbed his nose against yours, pressing his forehead against yours to be as close as possible- like he was guarding you and the baby from the world.

“That’s why I’ve been so sick. I took a test and it was positive,”

Instead of responding verbally, he kissed all over your face. Breathy chuckles and teary eyes emerged from both of you. For a moment, you’d forgotten all about Rebecca, who was sitting at the kitchen table not too far away.

“Oh my god,” James muttered, clearly emotional. He wrapped his arms around you, continuing to kiss all over your face and then your stomach.

James was ecstatic- he’d always wanted another baby. His wife had talked about wanting a big family, and though he was a bit anxious about the whole “becoming a father” ordeal at first, after Rebecca was born, he realized that he loved being a dad. Rebecca was his whole world, and you were giving him another baby who would also become a huge part of him. And though he didn’t want to make predictions or bets, he was hoping for another girl.

“What is going on?” Rebecca laughed, unsure of how to react to this sudden burst of excitement from her parents. The twelve-year-old set down her pencil and looked curiously at her parents, still cuddling, laughing, and crying on the couch.

You shared a look with James. Was it too early to tell her? What if there was a shift in her behavior and she no longer wanted a sibling?

You figured, Rebecca had been wanting this for so long. The least you could do was tell her as quickly as you told James.

“Becca- I found out why I’ve been so sick.”

“Why?” she asked.

You glanced at James, just as excited as you. “We’re having another baby,”

Rebecca gasped, leaped up from her seat to engulf you in a hug, “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!” She exclaimed.

“Easy,” James said to Rebecca, worried her hug was too forceful and tight.

“I’m so excited- I’m finally going to be a big sister,” Rebecca said, and you noticed the happy tears begin to brim her eyes.

“I’m excited too, and hey,” you said, pulling away from the hug briefly, “I don’t want you to think that I love you any less than I love this baby. You’re my baby too, and just because I’m not your real mom doesn’t mean that changes how much I love you, okay?”

Rebecca nodded, returning to the hug and pulling James in. Your perfect family was growing, and you couldn’t be happier.

The feeling of warmth overtook you. Though you were a little anxious of what the future held, you knew you could do it, because you had your husband and daughter by your side. You knew they would go to the ends of the world for you, and now this baby- and that made your heart soar, to know you were bringing another person into the world that would be just like them.

[citygirlcharlotte]

The Sister Halstead (Part 9)

Masterlist

Pairings: Hank Voight x Female OC, Will & Jay Halstead x Sister!OC

“If you’re going to hit me, do it now and get it over with.” Henry told Jay.

I had managed to wrangle my brothers and Henry into a joint dinner and it wasn’t really going well. Besides how awkward it was while we were waiting for the table, alcohol was ordered before water could even be brought out.

We made it through the appetizers with me talking most of the time but by the time we got to the entrees, the tension was palpable.

“Are you excited to be back at your place?” I asked Jay.

“No, I hate my place now that I’ve been at yours.” Jay laughed.

“Isn’t your lease up soon?” Will asked him.

“Yeah I gotta figure out if I’m going to renew or not.” He shrugged.

“If you need a roommate…” Will trailed off.

“Is it that bad?” I asked him.

Henry looked a little confused, so I whispered “Nat” in his ear.

“Let’s just say I probably won’t be needed moms ring anymore.” He sighed.

“You moving out?” Jay asked.

“I think I have to. I’m definitely going to need a roommate though, this malpractice insurance on top of student loans is eating the shit out of my paychecks.” Will sighed.

I got to pondering for a second before deciding to save the day.

“Well big brothers of mine, I have a solution to both of your problems.” I mused.

“You’re going to let us both move in?” Will snorted.

“Definitely not. My dad does however own another apartment in my building. It’s a 3 bedroom on the floor below mine and I’m pretty sure the tenants are moving out soon.” I offered.

“God, I don’t even want to know what the rent on that would look like.” Jay scoffed.

“Free 99 big brother. You’re family, you don’t have to pay rent.”

“Are you shitting me?” Will asked excitedly.

“Nope, as soon as I figure out when the old tenants are moving out, you two are free to move in.”

“Best sister ever!”

---

“Come back to bed.”

Henry had decided to go into work on a freaking Saturday for some reason and was leaving me by my lonesome at 7 am.

“Sorry sweetheart, crime doesn’t stop just because it’s a Saturday.” He laughed.

I moped behind him like a kicked puppy while he made his way to the kitchen to make some coffee. I sat on the counter with the largest pout I could muster to express my disdain for being abandoned on a Saturday of all days.

“Don’t pout baby girl.”

He maneuvered his body to stand between my open legs and lifted my pouting face with his index finger.

“Be a good girl and I’ll take you out of dessert tonight.”

“Can’t I just have you for dessert?” I grumbled.

“We’ll see sweetheart.” He laughed.

Deciding not to waste a whole day moping, I had to do some serious cleaning of my apartment from having 3 men going in and out of for over 3 months. I had a bunch of photos I had printed and framed in the hall closet just waiting to be put up. I grabbed a photo of my brothers and I while we were at Molly’s a few months ago. Right next to it was a very cute photo of Henry and I when we were at museum. I can’t believe that Henry and I have been together for nearly 6 months. I love that man more than I really should at 6 months but what can I say? When you know, you know.

I also found a box of my Amazon monthly restocks and headed to put them away. I was putting away the items in my bathroom when I got to the tampons and realized that the box I already has was still full. Why was it still full?

Immediately leaping for my phone, I went through my calendar and realized that I was a dumb bitch who was late on her period.

“What the fuck!” I whined.

I was too scared to go get a test myself so I used Instacart to order a pregnancy test, a bottle of champagne if its negative and a bag of sweets if its positive. 45 long minutes later it was here and I was about to throw up out of nervousness.

I wanted to call Henry and ask him to come back but I didn’t know how he was going to react and the thought of him rejecting me scared me more than anything else.

“Come on Charlie, pull your big girly panties up and get this done.” I yelled at myself.

3 of the longest minutes of my life passed as I stared down at the counter, about to pull the towel off my test that will change my entire life.

“Sweetheart?”

Taglist:

@royaltysuite @jadakiss13 @ego-allie-bap @acdassenza @alldaysdreamers @sande5098 @50-21upstead @justaproudslytherpuff

[fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan]

My Treasure - William Nylander

Request: Can you do one where you are pregnant with William nylanders baby and getting hate and he makes you feel better

Getting pregnant at 24 was definitely not a part of my 5 year post college plan. Then again falling in love wasn't one of my bullet points either. But when my period was over a week late I knew that everything was about to change. William was thrilled when he saw the bolded word on the pregnancy test, immediately wanting to tell anyone he could. I was a little more hesitant to share the news.

I knew that I wanted children someday and those feelings intensified once my relationship with William became serious, I just figured we would be married and I would be a little more secure in my teaching job before we would add a baby to the mix. We told our families first and they were all excited and happy for us, same with friends and teammates. The real problem came when we started to share the news with the rest of the world. On William's social media everyone was happy for us and wishing us well, but mine is where all of the hate went.

She probably got knocked up so he couldn't leave her.

Hopefully you don't gain too much baby weight, you could already stand to lose a little.

You're not even pregnant with his kid I bet, just went to the guy with the biggest paycheck.

I did my best to delete the comments as soon as I saw them, hiding them from William so he wouldn’t get upset. Some people didn't get the hint after the first deleted comment and I would end up blocking them. Two weeks after announcing our pregnancy the nasty comments were outweighing the nice ones of my post. My pregnancy hormones went crazy one day when my pants didn't fit for the first time of the pregnancy and William was away on a road trip until the morning.

I canceled my plans to go get dinner with some friends and instead had a pity party in some of William's clothes with ice cream and reading through all the horrible things that were being said about me.

I can't believe he is still with her, she is not pretty enough for him.

Fat cow

You are going to ruin his career with the child.

I cried myself to sleep on the couch after midnight and didn't wake up until someone was brushing some hair out of my face. Slowly opening my eyes I saw a concerned William kneeling on the floor in front of me. "Ellie, what’s wrong? Were you crying?" I sat up, making room for William next to me before he pulled me into his lap. "Your friends texted me last night and told me you skipped on going to dinner with them. Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?"

"The baby is fine, I just couldn't find anything that fit comfortably with the bump. I had a pity party with ice cream and must have fallen asleep." Everything I said was true, I just left out one major thing.

"I'm sorry babe, but can I finally buy you some new maternity clothes? Please." He gave me puppy dog eyes as he begged, causing me to laugh and turn to face him more.

"You love shopping more than I do."

"Is that a yes? I'm taking that as a yes. Go get ready, shopping might take all day." With that he was carrying me down the hall, laughing the entire way. When he finally set me down I managed to find a t-shirt dress that wasn't too uncomfortable and proceeded to get ready.

***

After a full day of shopping William took me out to dinner at our favorite Spanish restaurant. I excused myself after we ordered a bunch of small plates to share to run to the bathroom and when I got back William was standing at the table with a large plastic bag and shaking hands with the owner. "What's going on?" 

"I thought you might be more comfortable if we went home and ate. I've kept you busy most of the day so I know your feet must be bothering you." His tone was off but I brushed it off as we headed out. The drive home was a tense silence without even the radio playing.

I didn't say anything until we were in the apartment and William started slamming cabinet doors as he got plates. "What's wrong?"

"I just don't get why people spend so much time trying to make other people down! Like, what does it do for them?" He had a fire in his eyes I had only ever seen on the ice, and I wasn't sure what was causing it.

"I'm going to some more context here. Did something happen at the restaurant?"

"Before we left the last store I took a couple of pictures for our shopping day and posted them to Instagram. I thought it was no big deal, just sharing what I was up to on a day off. And then when you were in the bathroom your phone started buzzing like crazy so I thought someone was trying to call you. But all of your notifications were for Instagram, and I know I shouldn't have opened the app on your phone but I thought maybe it was your girlfriends' group chat and Sophie finally got engaged." I let out a small chuckle at that, we basically were taking bets on when her and her high school sweetheart would finally take the next step.

"I'm guessing that isn't what you saw." I knew what he was going to say next but I was hoping with every fiber of my being that I was wrong.

"No, I saw the worst of humanity in your DMs. I just- how can people be so cruel?" William slumped into the bar stool next to me at the island as I reached for my phone having to see what was sent to me now. "Ellie…" I ignored his worried warning as I opened up the app, going to my DMs.

Fat cow, you only got pregnant so that you could lock in some who is far too good for you. I hope he sees he could do so much better and kicks you out before that baby ruins his career and life!

So you are just using him for his money. I bet the baby isn’t even his, probably a teammate who makes less. Whore!

Bitch, why are you even with Willy? He is a literal hockey god and from what i can tell you are just some stupid high school math teacher. He can do so much better than you. 

There were over 50 messages just like those, all sent within the last hour. I didn't even dare look at the comments on my latest post, even though it was a few days old the braver trolls put their nasty messages there for the whole world to see.

"How long has this been happening?" I had hopped off my stool, going to plate up the food we brought home and trying to avoid the conversation I knew we needed to have. "Ellie… Please talk to me. How long?"

"Honestly, since we started posting that we were dating. It's gotten worse since we posted that we are gonna be parents."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because part of me thought that if I just deleted the messages and comments that it wasn't real. That if I was the only one who knew that I could just pretend that it was all in my head. Then there is that stupid voice in my head that likes to play up my insecurities, that made me feel like if you saw what people were sending me that you would believe it. And I know that thinking that is stupid and unrealistic but it can sometimes be the loudest thing in there." William also got off his stool, coming to stand right in front of me. He kissed my forehead before cupping my cheeks and holding eye contact.

"Min skatt, never feel like you have to hide this from me. You are the one I am in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with. You are the only one that can make me smile and laugh when I am in a bad mood after a game. You are the only one I see myself growing old, and possibly bald with." I let out a gasp at the word bald, he was so protective about his hair.

"See, the rational part of me knows all that."

"Well, let me make it clear to every part of you. I love you with every fiber of my being and as soon as I meet with your father next week to ask for his blessing, I will be asking you to marry me."

"Will…"

"But I am going to need you to act surprised when I ask." That got a small chuckle out of me. 

"I'll do my best." William's stomach growled then, making both laugh. "Let's eat before your stomach starts communicating with us again." William just nods, a thoughtful look on his face that I'm sure would cause problems later but right now I just wanted to live in the happy moment.

After reheating the food and settling at the kitchen island to eat, I went through and deleted all the DMs and comments. I barely registered what they said as I deleted. What I didn't know was Will was looking at the comments as I deleted before pulling out his own phone. It was only when my phone buzzed with another notification that I found out what he was doing. 

@williamnylander tagged you in a post

The post was two pictures side by side; the first was from our first date at a Christmas market, all bundled up and snuggled into each other as we took the photo in a mirror. The other picture was a selfie he took of us at my last doctor's appointment for the pregnancy, both of us were all smiles as I sat on the exam table with a picture of the sonogram on the screen behind us.

Two pictures of the love of my life. One from our first date, where I was a clutz and spilt hot chocolate all over her light grey coat and she still agreed to a second date. The other from a few weeks ago when we got another look at our baby. 

I can say without any doubt that having Ellie in my life has only made it better. She has become my sounding board for when I'm frustrated, my motivation to score more goals, and my ray of sunshine on any cloudy day. 

I knew from that first date that Ellie was the one for me, no one can tell me otherwise. And now she is carrying our first child. My heart continues to grow and fall in love with this amazing, kind, dedicated, caring, loving, and perfect woman each day.

I am so lucky to spend time with you each day and anyone who says otherwise is wrong and jealous of what we have.

Min skat, I am so excited to watch our family grow and experience the joys and challenges of parenthood with you. Ellie I love you and can't wait to see where we go next. 

Together.

The tears started flowing before I even read the caption, the pictures enough with my pregnancy hormones. But the words William managed to write push me over the edge, I was crying at the love he put into the words but also laughing at the not so subtle 'fuck you' to all the nasty people who sent you messages.

"Did I overstep? I don’t want to embarrass you."

"It's perfect. You're perfect. I love you."

"I love you too, and I plan on showing you that everyday. Even if it is something as simple as an Instagram post."

"It's not just the post, it's that you are saying to all the people who see your pictures and then come trash talk to me that you know about them. And that will probably stop some of them from doing it again. And anyone who doesn't get the message gets blocked."

"Good. Now, let go watch some TV and cuddle." Nodding grabbing my plate of food, following William to the couch before curling into his side.

As William pulled up the next episode of a show we were binging, I thought of something. "You never have told me what 'min skat' means."

"It means 'my treasure'. And it reminds me how lucky I am every day to have you in my life."

[wesawbears]

My @geraskierholidayexchange gift for @keepcalmandexpectopatronum934. I hope you enjoy! This ended up being inspired by the movie Elf. Happy holidays!

--

In and out Jaskier, he told himself as he adjusted his new work uniform. This was just a temporary gig until he got back on his feet. Besides, it was performance experience, in a way. Perhaps not the kind he’d been expecting, but he’d learned long ago to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

Or a gift paycheck, as it were.

With a good luck jingle of his hat and a final tug on his elf ears to ensure they stayed in place, he headed inside to a Christmas wonderland.

More accurately, it was a mall toy store, but hey. Magic! Christmas spirit! Jaskier had never been fussy.

He looked around, glancing at the children milling about, exasperated parents trying to keep them from knocking everything off the shelves. Jaskier supposed he should be grateful, considering cleaning up their messes was now part of his job. Not seeing a manager around, he found the first employee he could see.

The man was tall, with snow white hair tucked up underneath an elf hat similar to Jaskier’s. He was hanging ornaments on a tree in the center of the store, likely ones that some of the running children had knocked over in their haste. He leaned down to pick up a stray ornament the man had missed, hoping to extend it as a token of goodwill toward his fellow employee. 

“I love the way you hang those ornaments. Truly an, uh, inspiring show of elfdom.”

The other man stared back at him like he was a space alien, which, okay, fair, that wasn’t one of Jaskier’s better introductions, but what was he supposed to say? 

“I’m working on this alone. Go away before Emhyr finds you and fires you.”

“Sorry. Just a bit turned around. I’m Jaskier.” He stuckout his hand, only to realize that his coworker had his hands full. 

“Geralt,” the other man said, not glancing away from the tree. 

“Nice to meet you! Do you happen to know where the manager might be then?”

As if on cue, another voice sounded behind him. “Geralt, those ornaments are supposed to be spaced apart at 3.8 in.”

“I can’t measure that in my head-”

“Figure it out.” the unfamiliar man turned to Jaskier. “You’re new. Follow me.”

Jaskier gave a last sympathetic glance back to Geralt, before following the manager to the back room.

Well, at least if he was working here for the season, he would have some eye candy while he did it.

--

It didn’t take long for Jaskier to learn Emhyr hated his fucking guts, and that he would undoubtedly be out of a job come January, but he didn’t mind too much. Being a hated employee ensured that he worked closing shift, which meant he got to work with Geralt. They’d fallen into somewhat of a routine over the last few weeks, cleaning while Jaskier changed the Christmas music to his carefully curated Spotify playlists, which Geralt steadfastly ignored. He’d learned that Geralt worked outdoors, so his job at the local nature preserve didn’t need him during the winter. He also knew that the only reason Emhyr hadn’t fired Geralt for his grumpy nature was that Geralt was Emhyr’s daughter Ciri’s godfather, in an arrangement far too complex for Jaskier to comprehend. In turn, he told Geralt about his performance aspirations, along with every other thought that came to his mind. Geralt didn’t say much, but he listened and made dry comments every so often and Jaskier was in love with him.

Jaskier had always fallen easily, it’s true, but that didn’t take away the flutter in his heart each time one of Geralt’s small smiles was sent his way, a wry laugh into a bottle of water as they waited for the time to switch to ten so they could lock up.

On one such night, the week before Christmas, Jaskier perched himself on the counter, watching Geralt finish cleaning the last of the displays. “Thank you, dearest. You know you’re so much better at organizing those than I am, and I’m pretty sure I’m one fuck up away from getting fired.”

Geralt snorted. “Emhyr won’t fire you. He still needs a warm body in the store and no one else will take night shift.”

“Except you. What is the deal with him anyway? He doesn’t seem the...toy store type. Seems more like a...retail baron to me.”

“He’s not. He’s a regional finance manager. They just couldn’t find anyone else to run the store this year. That’s why he’s being pissier than usual.”

“That...makes more sense. But he gets to see your smiling face, so, you know, a jolly time.”

Geralt huffed a laugh. “Yeah. He’s thrilled to see me. I’m sure my work ethic is what’s keeping him from spiking my eggnog at Christmas this year.”

“Has he...is that a legitimate worry?”

“No. At least, I don’t think so. Probably not.”

“That family dynamic will never make sense to me.”

Geralt sighed and leaned against the counter. “We make it work. For Ciri.”

“Is she excited for Christmas?”

“She is. Between here and spending time with her, I can’t get away from it.”

Jaskier frowned. “You don’t like Christmas?”

Geralt shrugged. “It just...wasn’t a big deal for me growing up.”

“That’s so sad!” Jaskier loved Christmas. Though he didn’t really spend time with his family anymore, he had fond memories of the annual Christmas party- the music, the desserts, the presents. Just the general feeling that all was right with the world.

“It’s fine. It’s just another day.”

“How are you making me even sadder?”

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Dramatic.”

“Of course,” Jaskier answered with a small flourish. “Geralt! I have an idea!”

“Careful. Wouldn’t want to hurt yourself.”

Jaskier huffed. “I’ll show you the magic of Christmas! I”ll be like...your Christmas elf! Your spirit advisor.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“You are so mean to me. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

Geralt shot him an incredulous look, but acquiesced. “What would...that...entail?”

“First rule of Christmas from your official spirit advisor: Christmas is about surprises.”

“I hate surprises.”

“That’s the spirit!”

--

They decided to hold their Christmas adventure two days later, since Emhyr had told them their services weren’t needed due to a school group volunteering to work as “Santa’s Elves” that day. They met up at the mall at 3, when they usually started work. Jaskier was decked (the halls) out in a very shiny Christmas sweater, while Geralt was in his finest funeral blacks. He had dressed warmly though, as requested, so Jaskier wasn’t going to complain too much.

“Ready, star pupil?”

“No. But I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“You do not.”

“Hmm.”

They headed out into the cold. The mall was just a short walk away from the rest of town, and Jaskier figured they could look at the lights on the way there. “My mom and sisters and I would always go walk around and try to pick our favorite lights every year. I thought we could try that. As an easy intro activity.”

Geralt glanced around, furrow in his brow. “They all look the same.”

“They do not! It’s like you’re not even trying.”

“Then show me what you see, spirit advisor.”

“Fine,” Jaskier huffed. “Those ones, over there. They look like icicles on the trees. I like them because they sparkle off the snow and from far away, they just...ooze Christmas.”

“Hmm.”

“But I also like the more colorful ones. You can’t tell me that seeing lights everywhere doesn’t leave you feeling the least bit festive?”

“They’re just...bright.”

“Fine, sir humbug. Be difficult.”

They made their way into town, Jaskier showing him different lights, and Geralt remaining unmoved. He felt it was truly a lot cause when Geralt made a noise next to him. “Those ones.”

“Which ones?”

“There. Next to the coffee shop.”

There was a small display, only the barest flash of lights that looked like holly and ivy. They were much more subdued than anything Jaskier picked out, but he couldn’t bring himself to dull Geralt’s small bit of enthusiasm. “They’re lovely. See, you’re getting the hang of it!”

“I’m also getting cold.”

“There’s just no pleasing you. Well, I suppose we could stop for a cup of hot chocolate.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier led them inside, ordering a large hot chocolate for himself, while Geralt ordered a black coffee.

“Geralt! Come on, you have to get something at least a little Christmas-y.”

“Fine. One pump of peppermint.”

“Oh for the love of God.”

He allowed Geralt his approximation of holiday cheer and sat at one of the tables. He watched smugly as Geralt took a sip and held back a grimace at his concoction.

“How is it?”

“People put peppermint in coffee all the time. How do they like this?”

“Well, usually there’s also chocolate…”

“Too sweet.”

“Unfortunate,” Jaskier said, taking a large sip of his hot chocolate.

“Jaskier...I...appreciate you doing this for me, but I think I’m just not meant for-”

“For Christmas? For nice things?”

“It’s just not my thing.”

Jaskier pursed his lips. “Well, be that as it may, I am your spirit advisor, and I did promise. At least allow me to try one more thing.”

Geralt nodded. Bolstered by his reaction, Jaskier pulled a small box out of his jacket.

“What’s that?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a very good Christmas demonstration without a present, would it?”

“I don’t have anything for you.”

Jaskier waved his hand. “Seeing your face as you open this is gift enough. Open it!”

Geralt took the box wearily and unwrapped it carefully. Jaskier had half expected him to tear the wrapping paper apart, but instead he carefully untucked and smoothed out every edge. Inside was a small ornament, in the shape of a lion’s paw. Geralt stared at it quietly and Jaskier felt himself fidget.

“I know you call Ciri your little lion cub sometimes. I overheard you on the phone with her, and, you know, maybe I overstepped…” 

“Jaskier. Thank you. It’s...perfect.”

He looked up and saw Geralt with a soft smile, only this time it was only for Jaskier and he felt his heart melt. “You’re very, very welcome, Geralt,” he said, reaching out to clasp their hands together.

Geralt looked at their joined hands and slowly brought them to his lips. He kissed the back of Jaskier’s hand and he felt himself flush like a maiden in a period piece. Gracious, it was warm in here.

“Geralt…”

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling his hand away. “I shouldn’t have…”

“You missed.”

The furrow in his brow was back. “What?”

Jaskier smiled. “You missed. Let me show you.”

He leaned forward and kissed Geralt softly, letting him take the lead and move forward to capture Jaskier’s lips fully. It was a bit minty and the angle was wrong, but Jaskier felt his heart swell anyway. It was perfectly Geralt.

They pulled away, and Jaskier smiled at the uncharacteristic flush across Geralt’s cheeks.

“Well,” he broke the silence, “I suppose my work here is done.”

“How’s that?”

“Nothing says Christmas like a Christmas kiss.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Jaskier laughed and stood. “You should know I always am, darling. Now, come on! We don’t want to miss the ice skating rink…”

[jawritter]

Age Is Just A Number...

Request by: @missafairy​ Hello :) How do feel about an age difference, post-sex one-shot? Alternate universe (no hunting), consensual, not underage but quite a big age difference (like at least 10years) where Dean is like freaking out because he's Dean and doesn't want to destroy the girl's life?

Pairing: AU Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester x Bobby Singer.

Word Count: 1370

Warnings: Implied post smut, implied car smut, Mechanic! Dean, yes that is a warning. Language, insecure Dean, A little Angst, Fluff if you squint. Age gap. (10 years). I think that’s it.

A/N: Hope you enjoy this one, because it is a little different than my usual, and I do hope this is okay as far as filling your request! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one!

Dean was bent over the hood of a ‘68 Ford Mustang in his Uncle Bobby's Garage. This particular car had been giving him quite a bit of trouble today. The manifold that he was replacing just didn't want to go into place the way it was supposed to, and the owner would be there tomorrow to pick up his car. 

Normally something as simple as this he would have been able to do in less than five minutes, but he was distracted today, and his mind really wasn't on what he was doing. 

It was on what happened in the back seat of the car he was currently working on during his lunch break, and fun, spontaneous, and exciting as it was, he still couldn’t shake this stupid feeling he had that he just wasn’t good enough for someone as amazing as her. 

After a third failed attempt in a row to get the damn thing to tighten down he threw the socket wrench he was using across the garage, and walked off with his hands in his hair to the open garage door, leaning against the wall, breathing in the thick summer air, and letting it burn into his lungs.

"What's wrong with you boy?" Bobby asked, walking around the garage with paperwork in his hand from his most recent tow, the same grumpy expression on his face that Dean had become very accustomed to over the years. 

"Nothing, just can't get the damn intake manifold to tighten down, that's all." 

Walking past him his nephew Bobby threw the paperwork down on the cluttered, dirty desk in the corner of the room before going to look at the manifold that seemed to be giving Dean such a fit. Picking up a socket wrench that was laying on the ground over by the wall of the garage he made quick work of tightening everything down into its place. Dean just stood there looking at the car as if it had personally offended him, and he hated the damn thing.

"There," Bobby said, dropping the hood on the car, and pulling the grease-stained rag from his back pocket, wiping his hands, and looking at Dean in a way that said he was reading his mail without Dean even opening his mouth.

"Wanna tell me what's got your panties in a twist boy? Because there was no reason you should have been having that much trouble just to tighten down a damn intake manifold." 

Dean walked over the old Dodge pickup that was parked next to the mustang and perched himself on the hood. Bobby made his way over to the small refrigerator in the corner of the shop, grabbing two beers and passing one of them to Dean.

"It's Y/N, I'm thinking maybe I should break things off between us," Dean said, picking at the label on the beer bottle he was holding before taking a deep swig of it.

The cold beer felt amazing going down his throat, soothing his overheated body in probably the most unhealthy way possible, but he didn’t care, it was just too damn hot out today, and this beer was too damn good to nurse.

"Why? She's a sweet kid, head over heal for your dumb ass. Why would you want to break things off with that girl? I saw her up here bring you lunch earlier today,"  Bobby said, eyes narrow like if he could reach across the garage without having to actually move from his seat on top of the desk he would. 

Dean just shook his head, looking anywhere in the garage but in Bobby’s direction.

"Spill boy, I damn near raised you, when you was a kid and did something stupid I beat your ass for your own good, and if your about to do something stupid as let that girl go, I'll beat your ass now. So you better cough up a damn good reason why you're being such an idjit, but cause I like that girl."

Taking a deep breath Dean looked at his uncle for the first time since they started this conversation, but he knew the old man wouldn't let it go until he told him the truth about what was going on in his head.

"I'm not good enough for her Bobby. She's young and smart, and fucking gorgeous. She's got a damn good job, she's got so much ahead of her. I'm WAY too old for her. There are 10 years between us. I'm a mechanic. She's a RN. I drink too much. I'm covered with issues man. She doesn't need any of my shit. She needs the chance to find someone her own age. Some doctors or something she works with, someone who can take care of her and give her the life she deserves." 

Bobby said nothing during Dean's whole little rant, just let him get it all out. 

"You finished throwing yourself a little pity party so I can tell you how stupid you sound," Bobby said, no hint of amusement in his voice.

"Dean that girl loves you, and you're right you don't deserve her, but if you throw that away you will live the rest of your pathetic miserable life regretting it. People like her only come around once in a lifetime. You give this up and it will be the biggest mistake you ever make, and one you won't get to take back. She doesn't care that you are a mechanic, or that you've got issues, point to me one person out there that doesn't have issues. That's no reason to fuck up a good thing with a good girl just because you are feeling insecure about yourself, and got all in your feelings. Stop worrying about age differences. Age is just a number."

Dean couldn't look up at his Uncle, because deep down he knew he was right. 

"What if she wants to have kids, by the time the kid turns 10 I'll be in well into my fifties."

"Then you should have plenty of life experience, and by then that you will be able to give your kid a much better life than your father ever gave you," Bobby said coldly. 

That's what Dean liked about the man, he had no filter and wasn’t afraid to tell Dean when he was being fucking ridiculous. 

"I can promise you this Dean, whatever excuse you make won't be good enough to leave that girl. Period. Now go clean your ass up, go home to Y/N, and show that woman how much you love her before I kick your ass six ways from Sunday," Bobby said, pulling out Dean's paycheck for the week, and handing it to him before leaving the garage. 

Dean shook his head looking down at the check in his hands. He honestly didn't know what he'd ever do without that grumpy old man, but he did hope when he got older, that he'd be half the man that he was, and he was thankful every damn day that he had him here with him because he was more of a father to Dean than he ever had. 

Bobby was right, Y/N was his everything, and if he threw it all away now he deserved the ass kick that he had coming his way. Sure their relationship wasn't exactly conventional by most standards. Y/N was way out of his league, and he probably was too old for her according to most people, but he didn't care. Bobby was right. Age is just a number. It doesn’t mean shit. He loved that woman more than he'd ever loved anyone, and he couldn't live without her even if he got himself all worked up and had to be talked down sometimes.

Dean heard footsteps making their way through the gravel driveway to the still open garage doors. He smelled her perfume before he even saw her, and it smelt like home. She was his home.

"Hey, handsome. Ready to go?" Y/N asked, as she leaned against the opening of the garage, and smirk playing on her lips, and her sundress flowing in the summer breeze. She never failed to take his breath away, and as soon as he saw her smile at him, all his worries seemed so small.

"Yeah Sweetheart, let's go home."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: 

@deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​

[flowerkidlove]

Hello! I encourage any who see this to read it. I've spent roughly two hours redrafting this.

We are a system and recently, one of our headmates was accused of being ableist. We would take this directly to them, but they did it anonymously. Before I get to what we've been lead to believe is the reason, I would like to point out that the system's body is disabled and there's not a single one of us who isn't disabled, neurodivergent or mentally ill in some way - including the alter who was accused of being ableist. The alter in question is autistic, psychotic, depressed, anxious, semi-verbal, hard of hearing, has PTSD, night terrors, sleep paralysis and has dyscalculia. The body itself has three chronic pain conditions, an autoimmune disease, a suppressed immune system, is hard of hearing, has kidney disease and is highly likely to develop some form of cancer before we hit our 40's. The fact that we, a traumagenic system, have DID needs no explanation, but here we are anyway. Despite this all, we have a job - it's not a good one by any means. We work, at maximum, an hour and a half a day and are frequently victims of casual ableism in the workplace (often to the point where our paychecks get held for a pay period because our boss doesn't like how we did something). Despite what little money we make (and the fact that we have to rely on food stamps, housing and disability payments), we donate portions of our money to various charities and relief funds, some of which include ones for disabled individuals, while also trying to survive and also save up for a graphics card so we can try and get a job as a youtuber and/or twitch streamer so we can leave our dehumanizing job. We don't talk about most of this because, to us, it feels strange having all of it out on the internet. It also feels personally wrong to talk about our donations. Feels like we're bragging, to be honest.

Now that our background is out for all to see, let's get to the point of the matter - the things that may have given someone the impression that at least one of us is ableist.

The first one I'll explain is simple - a post about how Discord servers that have blacklists often handle said things poorly, to the point where every possible topic you could talk about was on some of them, leading members of our systems to get triggered by things due to having to reveal all spoilers just to see what was being talked about. Nobody ever said that they were bad, just that, because of this experience, we don't feel comfortable in them.

The second is less easy to explain - a conversation (later dubbed a discourse?) about the canon-ness of Chell being mute. The alter in question has Portal has a major special interest and has since before the game even came out, thanks to our mom being a playtester of the game. I won't get into the details, but basically, the alter wanted to share some information and got a little overexcited about it, to the point where some people thought they were trying to say that having Chell being mute as a headcanon was awful and terrible because of canonical things - which was never said. In fact, the alter themself actually holds nonverbal autistic Chell headcanons close to their heart because they are semiverbal and go nonverbal when overwhelmed. They just also think that if there is canon information, it should be shared. The repetition of "my mom playtested the game" is an inside joke. It means nothing other than the fact that she played the game before other people. She uses it to try and get a laugh out of people, especially when it has next to nothing to do with the situation (like this one that I'm talking about right here). The alter does regret getting so excited about sharing the information and even apologizes to anyone who felt hurt by their words. I also couldn't help but notice an ask saying they were saying there was a "wrong" and "right" way to see a character - something that literally never got brought up until that particular ask - I went back and read the entire ordeal.

The third involves the beginning of the above situation - a simple statement that they find the "dangerous mute lunatic" line from Portal 2 hilarious, as they tend to call themself that in a lighthearted way (and also just find GLaDOS funny in general). I have nothing else to say on that one.

The alter in question is one of the kindest people I've had the fortune to meet. Unfortunately, in order to make people more comfortable and not hurt anyone else inadvertently, they've decided to step back from the blog that they created. To be fair, they rarely contributed to it these days, opting to let the rest of us run it and occasionally ramble due to things involving one of the system's abusers (moreso hers, but he's bullied the entire system off of previous accounts and sent us into hiding twice now).

Now, I personally wouldn't care about having words thrown around about us* if it wasn't for the fact that this entire situation has made the alter have a shutdown and fall into a delusion that our aforementioned abuser has found us once again and is going to try and hurt us. As such, I felt the need to clear things up. Again, I'd take this directly to the person, but they called us an ableist through an anonymous ask, so we really can't. I can only send this and hope that it gets posted and furthermore gets seen and fully read by whoever thinks we're ableist. I also hope it clears things up, because this is one Hell of an accusation.

Sincerely,

Gordon from the system behind @abbyfreemansmind

*EDIT: Thinking about it and going beyond the irony of us being called ableist, it just doesn't sit right with me. Working on the assumption that it's regarding one of the three things above, the person is basically turning an overly excited conversation about Portal canon into evidence that we discriminate against (or even hate) disabled people. Aside from the fact that we ourselves are disabled, a scroll through our blog shows a lot of proof that we're far from discriminatory against our fellow disabled people - or anyone aside from discriminatory and harmful people (homophobes, racists, transphobes, ableists, maps, terfs, etc.).

[hplovefat]

Tracked down a classic

The Waist Lines

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

A Fattening Study

This one's inspired by a real-life actual overeating experiment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAQr77QMJiw

However, I changed it up so that the participants had to gain way more weight in a longer period of time.

“First of all I want to thank you all for coming. We realize that we are asking for quite a bit of sacrifice on your part, but we want to ensure you that it’s going towards a great study. When I call your name please take your binder. It will contain nutrition guidelines and general information you need to follow for the next nine months.” Said a slender grad student in a lab coat. He’s trying to calm anyone down with cold feet meanwhile the only thing keeping me in this building is the money. “Get paid to eat” that was the subject line of the email my roommate sent me for the application to be apart of this study. Little did I know that it was a study on obesity and that applicants have to agree to gain weight every month in order to get the paycheck. Not only that but I have to be poked and prodded by doctors checking my overall health. But living in the city is expensive and working as a barista paid jack squat. “Thomas?” The grad student called my name. I walked up to the Doctor McDreamy wannabe and received a binder with my name on it. Inside were some general guidelines on nutrition so participants wouldn’t need a coronary bypass, a credit card with our monthly allowance for groceries, and also some rules for the study. For my body type I needed to eat at least 3000 calories a day, just to start off with! I skipped to the back of the binder and was horrified to see by month eight I wouldn’t be allowed to eat less than 9000 calories a day. “I’m going to have to buy maternity clothes.” I muttered under my breath. A man beside me laughed. He must have heard me. I tried not to blush with embarrassment as his name was being called, “Axl?”

“That’s me.” He lightly replied. Axl was slender, as were all the participants for the study. One of the requirements was to be no higher than 11% body fat if you were a man and no higher than 18% body fat if you were a woman. All twenty participants had the same slender frame, including myself. My beer loving roommate Joey wanted to earn some extra cash doing these crazy experiments, but his gut got him rejected from this one, so of course he sends it to me. I looked down at my flat stomach, “I’m going to get a gut like Joey’s aren’t I?” I thought to myself. It sent a shiver down my spine. Axl comes back with his binder, “Hey, I’m Axl. You look nervous.”

“Oh… maybe a little. I really need the money, but I’ve always watched what I’ve ate, y’know?” I replied.

Axl smiled, “It’s alright. The way I see it, even if they kick you out half way that’s still a lot of money. And how hard can it be to shed a few pounds?”

“So what’s your reason for doing this?” I asked.

“I’m a little short for cash too, but also I just broke up with my gym freak of a boyfriend. I need to let go a little. Despite what he thinks my life shouldn’t revolve around my six pack.”

The grad student gave out the last binder to a tiny woman with the narrowest face I have ever seen. “Alright that’s everyone! Thanks so much again. You’ll notice that your monthly allowance for food is probably higher than you expected, but trust me you will go through it quickly. I hope your appetites are good because your nine month journey starts now.” With that, the participants started leaving the building. Some lifted up their shirts, jokingly saying goodbye to their abs. Do people think this is funny? “I think you need to lighten up.” Axl said to me as we leave the building. “It’s going to be a little disturbing, but it’s just getting fat. Is that really a big deal?”

“I guess not.” I replied, unsure of myself.

“Let’s go grocery shopping together, shake off some of the nerves and I’ll give you a ride home.” Sure beats taking the bus, I thought.

“That actually sounds great. Thank you.”

That afternoon Axl and I got our own grocery carts and filled them to the brim with what we had to eat. Our guidelines suggested chicken breasts and coconut milk, but Axl filled his cart with donuts and pastries. I threw in some butter tarts into my cart too, a secret indulgence of mine, but now I was free to eat the entire box. Axl dropped me off in front of my apartment. My arms weighed down by the bags upon bags of high calorie food I needed to eat that week. I squeezed my way through to the front door, my roommate Joey waiting for me. “So how was your first day man?! You look fatter already.”

“I haven’t started yet you knob.” I laughed, “I have to eat all this by next Monday.” Joey took a glimpse upon the mountain of food I was storing away in our kitchen.

“Aw man, I can’t wait to compare beer guts with you!”

I made tortellini that night with the heaviest cream sauce I could find at the grocery store. I had to eat the entire pot to make my quota for that day. As I shoved the last morsel into my mouth I could see Joey staring at me with the utmost delight. He thought this was hilarious. His skinny roommate Thomas was going to get as fat he was. I put my hand over my bloated stomach and tried not to think too much of it.

One week into the experiment and I could feel a difference. I could not remember what it was like to not be bloated. In order to meet my daily calorie intake, I had to gorge myself with a huge breakfast of pancakes and sausage immediately followed by my shifts at the café. Joey all the while laughing everyday at the feasts I have to prepare for myself as he sits on the couch drinking beer. I know for a fact he’s sneaking into my groceries, picking out bacon and pastries for himself. After my shift at work I went down to the grocery store to restock. “Hi there stranger.” It was Axl. “Need to stock up again eh?”

“I do. I didn’t think it was possible, but I ate everything in my cart last week.” I looked up at Axl. His face was fuller. You could even see button down shirt straining on his build. “Wow you’re really taking this seriously, you’ve filled out a little since I last saw you.”

“Ha!” He replied, “Believe me it wasn’t easy. Listen, you don’t have to stock up at the grocery store every week, there’s more than enough money in our allowance to eat out.”

“Is it allowed?”

“Of course silly! Me and a few other participants from the study are getting pizza and beer tonight, you should join us. Getting down those last few bites is a lot easier with help.”

“That sounds amazing, I could really use a break from my roommate.”

That night I met Axl and few of the other participants at a bar downtown. Everyone seemed to have a story about their first week. One guy named Andrew said he ate so much the first day he puked. Another girl named Jessie was doing this to get back at her ex who said she wasn’t curvy enough. It seemed the one thing in common with everyone is that they were enjoying this gluttonous time. The beer felt bottomless and it felt like our group ordered one of everything off the menu. I scarfed down as much pizza as I could, but I was bloated beyond belief from the beer. Axl and Andrew looked at me and then looked at my final slice. They immediately ran over to me. Andrew held my bloated stomach and Axl lifted the pizza off the plate. “C’mon you can do it.” yelled Axl. “We believe in you!” joked Andrew. It might have been the fact I was piss drunk, but I was excited for this help. I slowly but surely swallowed bite by bite of the pizza Axl fed me as the rest of the group cheered on. After the last bite there was a loud “huzzah” from the group and I rest my hands on my stomach. My face was red and sweaty from the endeavor. I just ate an entire large pizza by myself. “Thomas just doubled his quota today everybody!” screamed a drunken Jessie. Another loud “huzzah” came from our group. Double? I thought. If I keep to my quota I should already be gaining quite of bit of weight. I unbuttoned my jeans and looked forward to the next month.

A month goes by and I meet up with the rest of the group at the research building to get our monthly checkup. Joey insisted he come with me to my first weigh in. Axl finally got to meet him today after a month of me ranting about my drunken roommate. I change into skintight boxer-briefs for the weigh in and body fat test. I walk into the room and Joey’s face lights up with a horrible grin. “What?” I ask.

“Dude look at that!” he points to my stomach. It had been protruding more and more over the past month, but I didn’t think it was that bad. I started to pat my newfound gut, shaking it up and down. “As least it’s not as big as yours.” I lifted up Joey’s shirt his furry beer belly flopped down over the waist of his jeans. “You’ve been stealing my food haven’t you? You’ve definitely gotten chubbier too.” Axl then walks in, just finished with his checkup. “Are we comparing bellies?” Axl lifted up the front his shirt revealing a soft paunch. The outlines of a six pack were faded and his pecs were softer too. “I gained 21 pounds this month. Doctor says that’s the highest of all the participants so far.”

“My god!” I exclaimed. “Is that normal?”

“The first month is supposed to be a little extreme. And it looks like you’re not far behind me buddy.” Axl patted the top of my belly and watched it jiggle. The doctor walked and Axl, Joey and I pull down our shirts. “Alright Thomas, first thing I’m going to do is weigh you. You’re friends can stay as long as you don’t mind the company.”

“No way I’m missing this.” Replied Joey. The doctor and I both look at him. “They can stay. I don’t mind.”

I hopped on the scale and I could sense the doctor observing my paunch and my ass for signs of weight distribution. “At the beginning of the experiment you were 160 pounds, today you are… 179. Very interesting.” Joey and Axl burst out laughing. “I’ve gained almost twenty pounds? In a month…” I responded. “Yes.” The doctor replied, “You and another young lad are tied for second for rapid weight gain.”

“Number one being me.” Axl boasted patting his stomach.

“You realize that you will have to increase your daily calorie intake…” The doctor exclaimed as he began to measure my waist, “both of you.” Pointing to me and Axl. “As for you.” Looking at Joey, “You should consider switching to light beer.”

The three of us walked to the lobby to pick up our paychecks. Joey left leaving Axl and I waiting in line with the other participants who had just gotten out of their examinations. “My boobs have gotten so big.” One girl exclaimed. “I can’t even button my slacks.” Said another guy. I picked up my check and I’m immediately bombarded with invites to go out and eat. I couldn’t resist the company of these people and Axl was buying.

For my second examination, I had to schedule the day after everyone else’s due to a work emergency. I didn’t get to see Axl or the rest of the expanding gang. This month I was forced to eat no less than 4000 calories a day. Apparently I had no trouble because I managed to get up to 193 pounds. I had gained over 30 pounds since the experiment started and I wasn’t even halfway done. A portion of this month’s paycheck had to go into buying new clothes. None of my pants could button and the black polo I wore to work was riding up. If I wasn’t wearing an apron people would see the underside of my gut. When it comes to any humiliating aspect of this process, naturally Joey wants to come along. Joey took the doctor’s advice to heart this month. He switched to light beer. He’s just as drunk, but not getting any fatter. Good for Joey… I guess. I squeezed my ass into a pair of 34’s lifting up my paunch in order to get better a view of the button. Joey waited outside the changing room with his devilish smirk, holding my bags of medium to large shirts and enjoying himself a little too much. “Did you say those are 34’s?” asked Joey.

“Yeah.” I replied, “But there a little snug, I think I’ll go up a size, maybe some room to grow.”

“That’s kinda funny.” Joey smirked, “Because 34’s are what I wear buddy. You’re just as big as me!”

“There’s no way.” I replied.

“Wanna bet?” Joey pulled me to the change room mirror. He lifted up his shirt and gestured for me to lift up mine. Low and behold, my gut was almost as big as Joey’s beer belly. His was remarkably more furry, but the size was undeniably close. “You’re still a little bigger.” I exclaimed.

“Yeah maybe, but you’re catching up pretty quick tubby.” He replied patting my gut.

After I got home, I quickly changed into my comfortable size clothes and headed to the grocery store. I found it harder and harder to follow the nutrition plan while still consuming enough calories. I had to resort to donuts and bacon and other super fatty, sugary goods on top of the chicken breasts and potatoes just to make the quota. I pushed my overloaded cart to the checkout aisle when a familiar face walked up to me. “Hey man I haven’t seen you in a couple weeks.” Axl was behind me with his cart. He gut protruded a little more, but he didn’t look much bigger. “How was your checkup? Any big changes?” I asked.

“I only gained 11 pounds this month. I had a little bit of a cold. Slowed down my eating. But look at you, you’ve got a proper gut there!”

I could feel myself blushing, “Yeah I know. I had to buy new clothes today.”

“Oh my god. I need to get some new jeans stat.” Axl lifted the front part of his shirt to reveal that his jeans were only done up to the second button. The rest strained to support his belly. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Listen, you should come by my place. I’ll cook dinner and we can catch up.”

I took up on Axl’s offer and went over to his apartment for what I imagine to be a feast of a dinner. The second I walked in the door he threw me a beer. Axl laid out a platter of meat and cheese and told me to dive in while he was cooking the pasta. I stuffed myself with almost every bite of the fettuccini. “I feel like I’m going to burst. I can’t possibly eat anymore.” I exclaimed. Axl, put down his fork finishing off his meal. Axl’s pants had become completely unbuttoned during the meal to make room for his bloated stomach. “C’mon, we’re almost at our quota. Here, let me help you.” Axl hoisted himself out of his seat and waddled towards me. He bent down and unbuttoned my new jeans. “There. Now you have some room.” I felt the zipper sliding down from the pressure of my bloated gut. Axl then grabbed the last forkful of pasta and lifted it up to my mouth. With a great amount of strength I swallowed the last morsel and sighed with relief. Axl and I sat on his couch watching TV burping and letting the meal settle. I headed home around midnight that night. When I got through the front door I turned on the light and to my surprise Joey was sitting on the couch. “Oh hey.” He says with a muffled tone, “I thought you were spending the night at Axl’s.” Joey was shirtless his mouth, chest, and beer gut covered in crumbs and smears of chocolate. “You’re eating my food? Joey, the reason I bought this stuff is because it’s all super high in calories in fat. I need it for my diet.”

“I dunno. It seems like you’re doing pretty well without it.” He responded pointing and my unbuttoned jeans.

“Yes. Axl stuffed me with pasta tonight. Now move over.” I collapsed on the couch beside Joey, my medium black t-shirt riding up over my navel. I took an éclair out of the box and started scarfing it down. “I thought you said you were stuffed?” asked Joey. “I said I was stuffed… about an hour ago. I’m hungry all the time now.” Joey looked at his gut and than looked at mine. For the first time since the experiment started, Joey’s smirk faded away. “Dang dude. You’re… you’re going to get fat.”

“I know.” I swallowed the last bite of the éclair and immediately grabbed another from the box, “believe me dude I know.”

Third month’s examination was more intense than the first two. Blood tests and fitness tests were included. I had to wear track shorts and an under armor shirt I hadn’t worn since the experiment began. I wheezed running on the treadmill as the doctor waited eagerly to check my vitals. He could not stop staring at my belly, which hung on my waist, the underside exposed by the tight shirt. After being poked and prodded I was given a towel and was told I could wait in the lobby for my paycheck. Joey was waiting outside wearing the same sweatpants for the past week. A lot of his pants barely close ever since I started letting him eat from my groceries. He handed me a hoodie to cover up my protruding belly, but it gets swiped away from Axl who just got out of his physical. “Hold on there buddy don’t cover up just yet, I haven’t got a chance to look at you yet!” Axl pushed my shirt up towards my softening pecs to expose my gut fully. He cupped the bottom and started chuckling. “Great process buddy! Where are you at now?”

“I broke 200. Doc says I’m overweight now.” I replied.

“Ha! I broke 200 last month, but good for you it means you’re still qualified for the money! A couple girls and one guy dropped out. Couldn’t handle embracing the lack of vanity I guess.” All the participants were getting just as fat as I was. Girls’ breasts and hips were bulging out of their sides, stomachs protruding out of their shirts, while the guys’ paunches were turning into solid beer guts. “Just gotta keep thinking about that paycheck I guess.” I exclaimed.

“Yeah the money’s great, but I’m loving this.” Axl lifted his sweatshirt to reveal his belly, pushing it out to emphasize its roundness. It hung over his the waistband of his tight sweatpants. This month I spent a lot of time with Axl. I would go over to his place for meals or he would come visit mine. We go out to eat with the other participants or sometimes just with each other. No matter what, however, Axl would always end up feeding me after I felt like I was going to pop. I never had to do the same for him. Axl had a ferocious appetite and it was rubbing off on me.

Two months later into the experiment and even though I had to buy bigger clothes again, I was really enjoying my time with Axl. My weight gain had steadied putting me at around 215 pounds at my last examination. Axl who was a couple inches taller than me weighed in at 234 pounds. No matter how many times we compared guts his was always bigger. It felt like I was never going to catch up. Joey and I got to the examination early. It was evident that we both had gotten noticeably bigger as we squeezed through the turnstile doors. I changed into my boxer briefs and waited for the doctor to arrive. I sat in the chair and let my belly sit on my lap. Joey sat across from me, eyes glaring. “See something you like?” I asked.

“Dude, you’re really fat now. Like… it’s not even the gut anymore. Your face is rounder and by God your thighs are getting enormous. I think you’re bigger than me now.”

“Joey, I let you eat my food. You must have gained 20 pounds since I started.” I got up and felt my gut shake. I pointed to my protruding belly. “This is a desperate attempt to get some cash. This however…” I lifted up Joey’s shirt. “This is from being a total pig.”

“Vent all you want dude.” Joey replied pulling his shirt down over his furry beer gut, “That’s not going to change the fact that we are the same height, but I weigh only 215 pounds when you clearly weight more than that.” The doctor walked in with his morning coffee. “Hello Thomas. You’re making quite some progress. It’s not a race you know.” I looked down and my swollen pudge hanging over the waistband of my boxerbriefs and laughed uncomfortably. Joey smirked as I got on the scale. “229 pounds.” Said the doctor. “Told ya you were bigger than me.” Joey exclaimed. I had gained almost 70 pounds since this experiment had started. I changed into my sweat pants and a large hoodie and was about to leave when Axl popped his head into the doctor’s office door, “Hey! Sorry are you done, I was little late to my physical today.” I smiled and nodded as I let Axl into the room.

“You can stay if you like.” Axl said as he started stripping into his underwear. “I’m not shy.” Axl stood in the doctor’s office with nothing but skin-tight boxer briefs. He must’ve had them when the experiment started because they barely covered his ass.. The doctor gestured him to hop on the scale. “230 pounds.” Everyone’s expression dropped. “I lost weight?” Axl asked.

“It appears so.” The Doctor replied, “Have you been consuming enough calories?”

“And then some.” Axl responded, “Just ask Thomas.”

“Believe me he’s been eating just as much as me.” I replied.

“This happens a lot, especially with young men. Your metabolism has kicked into overdrive and it makes it harder to put on weight. Unfortunately, this is an overeating and obesity experiment and it requires all participants to gain a steady amount of weight for nine months. If you plateau we’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“C’mon doc!”  I exclaimed. “Look at him. Feel the size of his gut, look how big his ass has gotten and his second chin is coming in. He’s gained a ton of weight and now you’re kicking him out ‘cause he had bad month?”

“Axl has been on our watch for the most rapid body fat percentage increase… If he gains weight this month… we can keep him in the experiment.” Axl and I sighed with relief. There’s no way I could continue on without my encourager. “Thanks buddy.” said Axl as he put his jeans and t-shirt on. “Don’t mention it. And don’t worry we’re going to help each other. I going to get you busting out of those jeans before this month is over.” That night Axl came over to my apartment. We ordered a mountain of thai food and then I stuffed him full of donuts that I swiped out of Joey’s hands. There was one more donut left. “Thanks Thomas, but I couldn’t possibly eat another bite.”

I bent down and unbuttoned Axl’s jeans and watched the force of his swollen gut push down the fly. “There. Now you have more room.” We both smiled as I lifted the last donut to his mouth. That night Joey, Axl and I passed out on my futon.

A month of almost daily encouragement later, I took Axl out for a large, heavy breakfast before our weigh in, just to be safe. The diner beside the research building had great pancakes and waffles. We ate like pigs, but I made a special effort to stuff Axl. The button on his jeans haven’t been able to close for the past week, as I had promised. As we were about to leave we bumped into Andrew and Jessie, “Hey guys! We haven’t seen you in a while. You got… big” They said as they were getting up from their table. They both had gotten noticeably fatter, Jessie with her wide hips and double chin and Andrew with his ball belly, but it was true, no one could compare to Axl and I. We walked into the research building together. Joey was waiting on bench outside the doctor’s office. “Where were you guys? I’ve been waiting.”

“Sorry Joey, we got breakfast for one final stuffing session.” I replied.

“And you didn’t invite me?” He asked.

“I don’t think you need any more big breakfasts pal.” I poked Joey’s beer belly that was pushing out of his extra large plaid shirt. “You’re not even getting paid.” Joey sucked in his gut the best he could and tried to adjust his shirt out of embarrassment. Andrew, Jessie, Axl, and I decided we would do our weigh ins together this time. Even Joey wanted in on the action. We walked into the doctor’s office and stripped. A big “woof” came from everyone when I took of my shirt. I did a quick truffle shuffle, my newest and now most common party trick. The doctor walked in slightly shocked by the small group of half naked fat people in his office. Axl was the first to get up on the scale. Everyone gave his gut a slap for good luck. “248 pounds.” Said the doctor. Axl cheered and immediately gave me a hug. I our bellies pressed together and I could feel my breakfast coming up so I pushed him aside so we could get to my turn. “251 pounds.” Said the doctor. For the first time in six months I was heavier than Axl..Joey walked over to me like a proud father. “Look at that monster! I remember when this one freaked out when we had the same size jeans. Now look.” He shoved his gut up against mine. Mine was definitely larger and I got love handles and a bigger ass to boot. After everyone was done getting examined – Joey weighed in at 230 pounds – I changed into my jeans. They were a stretched out size 38. I squeezed the button close and let my belly flop over the waist. I looked at myself in the mirror. I grabbed my gut and shook it up and down. I was able to lift the entire thing with my hands. I turned to look at my love handles that had become more prominent as well as my beefier thighs and ass. Axl stepped beside me and started to do similar things. “Yep, They’re real.” He joked. He gave my gut a good slap and left the doctor’s office. I put my sweater on and looked at myself in the mirror again. When I pictured myself fat and I imagined something more horrifying than what I saw in front of me. I thought it was going to be gross, but I liked my larger frame. I like how soft my man boobs felt, I liked the way my gut protruded out of everything I owned. I walked into the lobby letting my gut relax, showing off what I had accomplished in the past 6 months. I was surprised to see a mountain of pizza boxes. The researchers decided to give us a little extra thanks this month. For the next two hours I watched 15 overfed, overstuffed participants pig out on pizza. I was forced to unbutton my jeans and have everyone come up to me asking if they could feel my gut.

The final three months of the experiment were not easy. Axl and I had to eat up to 10,000 calories a day. Luckily we had each other to help. Joey grew out a scraggly beard, went back to regular beer and took up the same eating habits I had. He was constantly trying to best Axl in eating contests, but would always lose. The pigging out really impacted is waistline. Joey was fatter than ever and he didn’t even get paid for it. For the final examination the participants were encouraged to wear the clothes they wore on the first day. I waddled into the building jeans unbuttoned and below my ass. The shirt I wore on my first day barely covered my navel and would roll up underneath my supple man boobs. Joey was behind me wearing track pants and a t-shirt that barely covered his huge, furry gut. “Let me take a look you… one last time.” He told me.

“I’m not going to be able to lose the weight over night Joey. You’re going to be seeing this for quite a while.” Joey grabbed my gut and started rubbing it.

“I know dude, but I just feels like yesterday that this monster was just a little guy and now look at it!”

I lifted Joey’s shirt. “Yours isn’t bad either pal.” Joey looked down and started lifting his beer belly up and down, feeling the weight. Axl then walked in wearing the same jeans that were not completely unbuttoned and rided below his ass. He also wore a button down shirt that only buttoned in the middle exposing his massive gut. All the participants wore similar things, exposing all the places they gained weight. It was clear everyone was obese as the experiment entailed. Axl came up to me, gave me a kiss, and immediately started lifting my gut up and down. “You’re looking good Thomas. Still nervous?”

“Nah. You look good too buddy.”

“Hey lover boys!” yelled Joey from the doctor’s office. “Research guy is waiting for ya.” I hopped on the scale. While I waited for the numbers to adjust I noticed the grad student who handed me my binder on the first day was weighing me. His face was fuller though and he had a small gut protruding out of his button down shirt. “Gained a little weight too eh?” I asked jokingly.

“Yeah, a little. You folks have been rubbing off on me.” The numbers finally stopped.

“Thomas your final weight is, 304 pounds.”

“I broke 300?!”

“First one today. You proud of yourself?” The grad student asked.

I smiled and hopped off the scale. After some more tests I found out I had tripled my body fat percentage as well. I looked at myself in the mirror as I pulled up my impossibly tight jeans. I had become a genuine fat ass. It was Axl’s turn to get on the scale.”Axl your final weight is 315 pounds.”

“I put on 150 pounds?”

“Yep. Heaviest so far.” Exclaimed the grad student.

Axl started to chuckle, his belly shaking simultaneously. Afterwards everyone moved into the lobby for a few photos. Everyone was laughing and comparing bellies. The grad student got up and started to make a speech. “I want to thank everyone here again. I’m so glad you were able to treat this entire process with a great sense of humor. And to show my support I will confess that I’ve gained 20 pounds as well.” The grad student lifted his shirt to show off his paunch and the entire group cheered. He pulled down his shirt and continued to speak. “I also have some good news for anyone who is interested. I know some of you are eager to hit the gym and to shed these extra pounds, but the lab is offering an extended research participant contract to anyone in this study who is obese, which luckily is all of you.” Everyone looked at each other puzzled. “You would continue to get paid and all you would have to do is maintain or gain weight for the next year. Any takers?” Axl’s hand shot straight up. Mine quickly followed.

[ladypogue]

Used to this (part 4)

Summary: Ella hangs out with pogues and JJ is caught off guard. They both admit their feelings to themselves, but things get messy at a boneyard party when Ella’s friends try to set her up with a guy.

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: the slightest little bit of swearing, maybe some angst??? but other than that none :)

A/N: hello all! I am still eternally grateful for you if you are reading this story. I am terribly sorry for the late update, I started my first big girl job since graduating college so now I’m working full time so I’m limited on time to write (especially cause I do most of my writing at the late hours of the night) but i still love you and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! :)

Part 4

JJ and Ella’s relationship was starting to slowly blossom. The pair found themselves drawn to each other, even though both were terrified of what could come between the two. JJ was spending more time at the Wreck, keeping Ella entertained during slow periods of her shifts. When it got busy, he would sit back and just admire how she handled everything so smoothly. To most, sitting and watching someone work would be boring, but for JJ he found himself tuned her every movement, his eyes attentively trained on the way her lips curled into a smile as she talked to a customer and how her hips sways ever so slightly as she walked to and from the kitchen with trays of food. They usually hung out after Ella’s shift was over, at the least JJ would walk her to her car where they would stand and talk for half an hour before parting ways, just to text each other not even two hours later. The more time she spent with the Maybank boy, the more Ella found the walls she had built up around her heart, slowly breaking down. As for JJ, he had no idea how to process this and he was in a state of denial, telling the pogues that Ella was a just a friend and that was it. The pogues would roll their eyes at him, as they all knew that JJ was developing feelings for the girl, and deep down he knew it too.

It was a Friday afternoon and Ella decided to walk to the Wreck to pick up her first paycheck, luckily having the day off and the weather was nice so she figured she might as well enjoy it. Walking to the building and grabbing her check, she was greeted by her coworkers who were currently busing tables or bringing out food. Ella was grateful that she got along well all her coworkers, and that she had fit in nicely. She more nervous about that than she was about not being good at her job. Ella was standing in the kitchen talking to Mr. Carrera when Kiara came in a grabbed her hand.

“I’m just gonna borrow her real quick” Kie said, smiling innocently while looking from her dad to Ella. Ella was confused as she was pulled away from her boss, stumbling she turned around to face Kie as her father just laughed at the two, happy that Kiara had another friend that wasn’t the three hooligans she usually hung out with.

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Kie asked, her face lighting up excitedly.

“Nothing that I know of. Why what’s up?” Ella asked, still skeptical since her and Kie had never hung out outside of work before.

“We’re going out on the boat today and I want you to come with. Sarah can’t come and I do not feel like being the only girl today, plus it will give us more time to bond. So? Will you please come?” Kie was giving her best puppy dog eyes and it was hard for Ella to resist. Besides it’s not like she had anything else to do today.

“Alright I’ll come, but we gotta stop by house so I can grab proper boating attire” Ella laughed as she looked down at the clothes she slept in, consisting of sweat shorts and a large t-shirt. Nodding fervently, Kie grabbed Ella’s hand dragging her outside so they could make their way to Ella’s house and then head down to the dock where the boys would pick them up.

A short walk later, they make their way into Ella’s house and up to her room, Ella started rummaging through her drawers looking for a bathing suit to wear. Finally settling on a blue tie dye bikini, she went to change in her bathroom. Walking back out into her room to grab clothes to cover her up, she heard Kie whistle from behind her.

“Damn Ella, you’re hot. And I mean that in the most non-creepy way possible.”

At this Ella just chuckled, “Oh sush! Have you seen yourself?” Ella couldn’t help but admire Kiara’s natural beauty, subconsciously comparing herself to the girl, though she graciously accepted the complement.

“I’m serious! JJ’s not going to know what to do with himself today.” Kie said smirking. Ella felt her neck heat up at the mention of his name. She knew he would probably be there today, but was she ready for him to see her so exposed? Not saying anything, Ella just smiled to herself and pulled on a tank top and some shorts, sliding her feet into her sandals and grabbing a bag that she usually brought along to the beach, she looked back at Kie, “Ready to go?”

“Yes!! Let’s head down, I’ll text John B and tell him to come pick us up.”

The duo made their way down to the dock, laughing the entire time. Their friendship coming easy, making even the lulls in conversation comfortable. Growing up together, it’s a surprise that the two were never great friends before. They were always friendly with each other, but they never really spoke unless they needed to, maybe it was because the year Kiara took her kook year was the same year that Ella met Grace and Sophia, or maybe it was just out of the fact that growing up Ella was shy and reserved. But now, they both felt that their lives were better with the other in it. They were becoming best friends and they welcomed this new friendship with open arms.

Five minutes go by when they hear the sound of the HMS Pogue pulling up. Parking the boat at the end of the dock, John B held his hand out, helping both girls onto the boat.

“Ahoy ladies!” John B said once they were both safely on the HMS Pogue, making sure to salute them.

“Boys this is Ella, Ella that’s John B, Pope and you know JJ already.” Kie said, introducing you to her friends that she considers family, hoping that you’ll end up as a part of the group too.

“It’s nice to officially meet you.” Pope said extending his hand for you shake, John B following in his footsteps.

Smiling at the two boys, you shake each of their hands, “Likewise. I’ve heard so many stories of the infamous pogues so I’m excited to experience it first-hand.”

“Well I hope we don’t disappoint” John B laughed before starting the boat up again and heading out into the marsh for a day of fun.

JJ had been oddly quiet from the moment he saw Ella standing on the dock with Kie. He was caught off guard that she had managed to infiltrate his friend group without him, and he was a little upset at that. It’s not that he didn’t want Ella to get along with with his friends, but he just wasn’t ready to introduce her to them quite yet. Obviously Kie would know her as they worked together, but John B and Pope, they were something else. Both of them like brothers to JJ, but that doesn’t change the fact that they were both good looking guys with great personalities and JJ feared that Ella would like them more than him. It was a dumb fear because Ella didn’t seem like that type of girl, but it had happened before, which is why JJ wanted to make sure Ella liked him, and only him, before he brought her around. Now that was ruined.

He sat at the back of the boat, watching her joke around with his friends, sulking. She looked so happy and carefree, that made him smile slightly, knowing she was comfortable in this setting. Sipping on a beer and admiring her from a far, JJ was certain she would become a pogue. The other three already seemed to love her and she them. Ella had barely looked at JJ since arriving, they made eye contact when she first boarded the boat but since then she’s only sent him a glance here and there, whereas he could barely take his eyes off her. But that was Ella’s personality, she gave her undivided attention to whoever she was talking to, a characteristic about her that JJ loved and admired. Looking back at the blonde, seeing him sitting alone, Ella smiled and made her way over to him, smiling and shuffling so she was sat next to him.

“Hi,” she smiled while looking down at her lap, suddenly the strings on her shorts very interesting.

“What are you doing here?” JJ asked, tipping his beer back and finishing it. It came off ruder than he had intended but he had to keep his armor up even more now that he wasn’t in control anymore.

Taken aback by the sudden attitude and shift in JJ’s demeanor, Ella replied cautiously, “Kie invited me. Said she wanted to hang out outside of work. Plus, I was excited to see you.” She mumbled the last bit under her breath, hoping he didn’t hear and think she was clingy.

Even though she mumbled, JJ still heard her, and he felt his heart swell. The fact that she was excited to see him put him slightly at ease, but he was still on guard. Not replying, he just nodded his head and grabbed another beer from the cooler in front of him, propping his feet up on the closed lid.

“Do you not want me here?” Ella asked, JJ could hear the sadness in her voice at the thought that he didn’t want to be around her. Which was a stupid thought because JJ would be more than willing to spend every moment with her, but that alone terrified him. Besides Kie, he had never felt this close to a female. Never had he had a connection with any of his hook ups, they were all superficial relations that only went surface level and never lasted more than a night or two. But with Ella, it felt different, even different from Kie. He felt like he could tell her things and there would be no judgement, that he could trust her with his life. Around her, JJ forgot any problem he had going on around him. She was his entire focus, it was like she put up blinders and all he could see is her. He wanted nothing more than to keep her happy because the sight of her smile and the sound of her laugh made JJ happier than he’s been in a long time.

“Of course I want you here. I just wasn’t expecting to see you and now I’m caught off guard because I wanted to be the one to introduce to my friends, not Kie.” He replied to her question, not sure if that was necessarily the best thing to say as he sounded like a control freak, but he was trying to be honest.

“Okay good, I was nervous that maybe you were getting tired of me” she smiled over at him gently. In which he simply glanced at her, taking in her beauty as the light reflected off of the water and onto her golden skin and replied, “never.”

--

Around three that the afternoon, the Pogues and Ella had returned to shore.  Parting ways with promises to hang out with them again soon, Ella started her trek home. Ella only lived about 10 mins from John B, but she was going to go see Grace and Sophia and they lived on the cusp of Figure 8, so it was closer to 25 mins.

Hoping in her car and heading to where her friends were, she pulled into their driveway and walked into the house. Knowing her friends were most likely in Sophia’s room, she made her way up into her room, and plopped on the bed where her two friends were already laid out.

“Hey where have you been? I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever!” Grace exclaimed, while rolling on top of Ella and pulling her into a hug.

“I’ve been working like crazy, but I have the rest of today and tomorrow off so I thought we could do something together.”

The three hung out on Sophia’s bed for majority of the evening, happy to be together again. They laid there laughing, sharing stories of their days and plotting their next outing. Sophia, the partier of their little group, informed them of another boneyard party happening that night. Wanting to let loose and have fun, they decide to go. Getting ready in record time, they arrive with the party already in full swing, with more and more people arriving by the minute.

Instantly getting drinks from the keg, the three stood around and scoped out who was there. Sophia and Grace were not only looking for themselves, but earlier in the week they had planned to hook Ella up with someone at the next party, they just weren’t sure on who. What they didn’t know was that Ella was still talking to JJ Maybank. As far as they knew, Ella had heeded their warning and had left it alone. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Ella was hanging out with JJ almost daily and while they were looking at guys to take home, Ella was looking at one blonde haired boy standing in a circle laughing with his friends, not a care in the world.

Smiling to herself, Ella let her mind wander to what could potentially become of her and JJ. She pictured them in a relationship, her standing in that circle with his arm around her waist, her leaning into his side and using him to keep her standing as they laughed at something Pope said. She imagined them curled up on her couch on a rainy day, her playing with the rings on his hand as she laid against his chest with the tv playing quietly in the background. She imagined his lips on hers, and how she would be able to feel them anytime she wanted. She pictured him standing on the dock, looking out into the water and her coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind, resting her head on his back, peppering kisses along his spine. She thought about spending every afternoon like they had today, laughing on the HMS Pogue with John B, Pope and Kie. She could truly picture them being happy together.

Lost in her daydream, she hadn’t noticed that Grace and Sophia had picked a friend group they were going to infiltrate. Feeling someone nudge her arm, she looked up to see that her friends were starting to walk over to a group of three boys. They were definitely attractive, Ella had to admit, however they were no JJ. Ella was very surprised when Sophia and Grace hugged the three boys now standing in front of her as she had no recollection of knowing them.

“Ella, this is Jake, Eddie and Pat.” Sophia said pointing out each one respectively, “Boys this is Ella.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Ella said smiling, but then glancing curiously at Grace, as if asking ‘how the hell do they know them?’

Graced laughed at her friends confused facial expression, explaining that her and Sophia had met the boys while out in town running some errands one day while Ella was working. Grace and Sophia didn’t have jobs, so they spent their days running around doing god knows what, though it seemed to be spent flirting with boys. Nodding her slightly and turning her attention back to the group, Ella fell into conversation with Eddie. They talked about anything and everything, jobs, hobbies, pet peeves, anything they could think of they discussed. Conversation flowed effortlessly between the pair; as they laughed and joked Sophia and Grace internally high fived thinking, they did great in setting their friend up.

Eddie and Ella broke away from the group of their friends, opting to walk around the crowded beach. They drifted towards the edge of the water where they sat on a branch staring out into the dark. A comfortable silence fell over them as they sat there, both lost in thought.

“Can I ask you a question?” Ella inquired, looking over at the boy.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“How do you know if you love someone?”

“Well, for me, I know I love someone when I’m able to look at them and feel at peace. Just their presence alone gives me comfort, a stable feeling. There could be a storm going on around me, but as soon as I look at that person, I’m grounded, I’m safe. Also, when I genuinely enjoy being around them, but not just hanging out as friends. More like when we hang out, I don’t care who else is around because just knowing that person is there makes the whole time better. It’s hard to explain, but deep down you just know, if that makes any sense.”

Ella nodded, taking in every word that Eddie spoke, “have you ever been in love?” she asked quietly.

“Once.” He replied, not making eye contact with her, just staring at the waves breaking in front of them.

“What happened if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nothing happened, I’m still in love with her. I know she’s the one for me, I knew it on our second date that she’s the girl I’m going to marry.”

Surprised to hear that Eddie was in a serious relationship, Ella spoke, “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

“I do, we’ve been together almost a year.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, sorry if I lead you on.”

“Oh, you didn’t, the reason I asked was because there’s this boy and my friends don’t like him, but I think I’m falling in love with him. But we haven’t even gone on an official date, so I was just looking for some insight.”

“The best advice I can offer you is just tell him how you feel. Life is too short to not know and succumb to the ‘what ifs’. If you really want to know, you just gotta go for it. And as for the friends not liking him, if they’re really your friend, they would see how happy he makes you and learn to like him.”

“You are very wise beyond your years.” Ella stated smiling over at the boy, hoping they would stay friends as she very much enjoyed their time talking together.

“As are you young grasshopper.” Eddie chuckled, lightly shoving Ella with his shoulder, the pair laughing and continuing on with their conversation, both telling stories about the people that hold their hearts.

Standing not too far away, JJ saw the girl he was falling head over heels for laughing with some guy sitting by the water. He would recognize her smile anywhere and it pained him to see someone else be the reason for it. Seeing the guy she was with bump his shoulder with hers broke a little piece of JJ’s heart. He knew it was too good to be true. Why would she actually want to be with JJ? He was nothing short of a fuck up and had more issues than he could count. But what hurt the most is actually thought she liked him back. She laughed at his jokes even though he knew they weren’t funny. She smiled at him when she caught him staring, always staring back. She never told him to leave her alone when he bothered her at work, and never objected to hanging out after her shift. But maybe she was just being polite and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Seeing Ella and the mystery guy get up and start to walk towards him, JJ quickly shook himself off and went to find someone who could distract him from his approaching heartbreak, not knowing that Ella had spent most of her time with the boy talking about JJ.

Rejoining their friends, Ella and Eddie had made a mutual agreement to stay friends but let Sophia and Grace think something could become of them until she could find a way to tell them about JJ. Thinking of the boy for the thousandth time that night, she looked around for his mop of hair and shining blue eyes, that she knows would probably be red rimmed from being under the influence. Finally spotting his golden locks, she smiled until she saw the brunette girl tucked under his arm. The girl had her hand pressed against JJ’s stomach as she stood talking to her friends. He looked unamused, tipping his drink back and taking a big gulp of it before looking straight at Ella and pressing a kiss to the top of the girl’s head.

Her heart ached at the sight, realizing her friends were right and that JJ was just using her. She had hoped that they had been wrong, and that JJ was actually as decent guy who would give her her first taste of love, not heartbreak. But her she was, trying to hold back tears and act like everything was fine as to not concern her friends. Sophia and Grace had drank more than Ella so they were oblivious but Eddie noticed her change in demeanor. Following her stare to the blonde boy, he whispered to her, asking if that was him. She nodded her head slightly, to which he then asked if she was alright. With a tear slipping from her eye, she shook her head no and started to walk away from the group.

JJ was not impressed with the brunette who was pressed against his side. He wished for nothing other than that it was Ella he had pulled close instead of the girl he couldn’t remember the name of to save his life. Ashley maybe? Or perhaps it was Kate? Either way it didn’t matter to him and he wouldn’t bother to learn it. JJ wasn’t paying attention to the conversation in front of him, instead he continued to watch Ella from a far. Watching her laugh with her friends, not even seeing the boy who couldn’t help but let his wander to her every chance they could.

Finally making eye contact with the girl he couldn’t get off his mind, he panicked. He did the only thing he could think of to show her that he didn’t need her, and that was place a kiss on top whatever her name is head while making eye contact with Ella. Upon doing that he realized what a mistake that was because he watched Ella’s heart break in front of him. He watched the way her smile fell, and her eyes seemed to well up with tears. His heart shattered even more knowing he might have overreacted and fucked everything up. He watched as the guy she was with earlier bend down and whisper in her ear after looking at JJ and her responding with a few motions of her head before running off. Not even thinking twice about it, JJ dropped his arm from the girl’s shoulder and started after Ella.

As he walked by the group she was just standing in, the guy who Ella had spent most of the night with grabbed his arm; “don’t fuck this up. She really likes you dude.” JJ just nodded, pulling away to go find Ella and beg for forgiveness.

-

Taglist: @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @agirlwholovescoffee​

[letshaikyuu]

𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 É𝐩𝐨𝐪𝐮𝐞

«𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 É𝐩𝐨𝐪𝐮𝐞 - French for “beautiful era,” a term that describes the period in French history beginning in 1890 and ending at the start of World War I in 1914, which was characterized by optimism, relative peace across Europe, and new discoveries in technology and science.»

𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 - 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: profanities, abusive parents, mentioned depression and anxiety

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.7k

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

There were numerous things Semi hated about working at a coffee shop. The loud noise, the crowded space, spilled drinks on the floor when people can't keep their eyes open and arms that intentionally flail around and knock glasses off the table. He can't say that 'Primavera' is a slow-running and old coffee shop, not at all. He has been working here for the past two years and can only turn his head away when any accidents happen. But, the main problem with working in a coffee shop was the low payment.

In his hand was a small envelope that contained this month's payment. In it was the same, small amount of money, not a dollar down and not a dollar up.

'Fucking hell, I can't live like this anymore!?' He let out an exasperated sigh and aggressively raked a hand through his dyed hair. Looking around the empty coffee shop, Semi looked at his friends that were joking around and talking about how to spend this month's paycheck. If only Semi could live a, seemingly, carefree life like them.

After attending the same high school, Semi's friend group (which is equivalent to their school's volleyball team) went their separate ways. All the third years found themselves in one university program or another, the second years were all flourishing in the science field, and chose programs that made your head hurt. The only first-year chose to chase after his volleyball dreams, alongside their former captain.

'God knows where they are in the world now...,' Semi looked at his right fist that was unconsciously gripping the white envelope. Loosening his hold on the crimpled white paper, he angrily gazed at it.

High school was not a time he was extremely proud of in his life. It had more downs than ups and was constantly giving him a headache. Yes, he was part of the school’s volleyball team, but his happiness was cut short after he sustained an elbow injury that wasn't planning on healing any time soon. Out of all the body parts, his elbow was the last part he'd pick would get injured. But, there he was. Sitting on the bench during his entire third year and watching his other teammates lining up victories. He didn't know what to do after high school. His mind was empty and out of ideas to help him overcome this obstacle. When everyone was talking about their chosen programs, Semi's response would always be: 'I'm taking a gap year.'

Now, a year after that, Semi still wasn't any closer to deciding on a program he'd be content with. A program he knew he’d love and find solace in, maybe find a good job in the same field. He paid minimal rent at 'La casa de Tendou.' His best friend from high school was also a barista at 'Primavera' and offered Semi to stay at his small one-bedroom apartment close to his university. His back accommodated to the thrifted couch in the living room, but he was in no place to complain. The only thing Semi paid for was the groceries and part of the bills. Tendou was too nice to him sometimes.

The only thing he found irritating and not very comfortable are the times Tendou’s fling and he meet up in the bathroom. Yes, he is straight, but seeing the naked body of a chick his bestfriend had been fucking a few hours prior was never a nice sight to wake up to. By now, the two of them have met up countless of times that Semi doesn’t even blink. Thankfully, she remembers to put some clothes on now.

'Speaking of the devil,' he whispered under his breath as excited footsteps approached his lonely figure.

'Hey, Semi-semi! What are you sulking about now, we're eating good tonight!' He waved his still intact envelope in front of his face and stood proudly in front of him. Behind him, Yamagata and Reon were nodding in agreement. 'We're heading to an izakaya later, you know, to treat ourselves,' Yamagata's usual deep voice had an extra kick of excitement to it and Reon simply agreed.

Reon was the cashier at the coffee shop because he is the only one out of the four that can be trusted with money. Yamagata works as the baker and part-time musician whenever there's an open gig at the coffee shop. Both of them were from Semi's old volleyball team and studying at the nearby university. Of course, Semi was the only one working full-time at the coffee shop because he was the only one who doesn't have any lectures and exams to prepare for.

'Semi-semi-,' Tendou's confused voice called out to his friend who slung a bag over his shoulder, not before shoving the envelope in his bag. 'I can't come with you tonight. Have fun without me.'

Pushing past his friends and before they could even stop him and ask him what's wrong, Semi was already out the door and into the night. Sighing, Tendou looked back at the remaining two and spoke:

'Guys, we gotta do something about Semi-semi.' Evoking hums of agreement and nods, Tendou stood there for a few seconds before raising his head. A small smirk was plastered on his face. 'Satori? People can't trust you when you look like that,' chuckling at the 'scary-looking' face of their friend, Yamagata and Reon knew that Tendou was definitely up to no good. But, with Tendou, if you're not on the receiving end of said ideas, you sit back and enjoy the show.

'I have just the thing to get Semi-semi out of his slump.' Somewhat graciously turning on his heel, he picked up his bag and jacket and headed towards the door. 'Follow me, peasants! We have shit to organize! Chop chop!'

'If we're the peasants, then why do you like a badly drawn cartoon character?' Yamagata called out to him. ’Nobody appreciates the first drafts enough!’ Yelling over his shoulder, Tendou impatiently waited for the two to join him outside. Joking about how his, non-existent may I add, pet snail moved faster than them, the walk to their favorite izakaya was filled with a very euphoric atmosphere.

Can’t say the same for poor Semi.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

’You’ve fallen behind on your school work and your paintings are getting worse, yet you still find the need to disagree with me and argue!?’ The loud voice of your mother bounced off the small studio apartment you moved into a few weeks prior. It was still bare and decorated with minimal furniture and a tiny cactus was seated on the coffee table. Your mobile phone’s speaker was suffering and could hardly keep up with the volume of your mother’s loud screaming.

’I need to shove this cactus down her throat now,’ you muttered under your breath and put your face in your hands. The lecture continued for a good few minutes and she ended the call before you could voice out your own opinion. Groaning, you leaned back on the small couch and stared at the ceiling.

This was nothing new. Your talent ultimately became a curse because your parents were always funding you and sending you to the best artists in the area. Even at a young age, you were covered in paints, chalk, and various art supplies that they made sure you have. You showed remarkable talent at drawing and painting, always showing off your skill in art competitions. What your parents loved the most about your talent is not what people think. To them, you were a walking dollar sign and title that had the chance of excelling and becoming famous in a few years. Of course, that was not a far-fetched idea at all, what are you talking about. That’s why they’ve always been trying to ’support’ you when it came to your dreams, but all they wanted to have was the money you were going to earn in a handful of years.

It was in the middle of junior high when you started to lose interest in art because of the enormous pressure building up on your young shoulders. After school, you’d always be forced to draw and better your talent, but after countless of days, you’ve had enough. That didn’t sit well with your parents who weren’t letting you have a say in this situation.

’You do know we’re the ones that made you who you are today.’’How can you be so damn ungrateful after everything we’ve done!?’

Your lovely parents applied for a spot at this humble art institute close to your small studio apartment, hoping that you would get in. It was known for having numerous secrets talents that’d later flourish into the most beautiful of flowers. Unfortunately for you, you did get a spot and now are suffering through your first semester at university. You’ve made one friend and she was thankfully willing to put up with your sarcastic and depressed ass. And now, you’re suffering together with someone.

Classes regarding art history, painting classes, drawing classes, and lots of other shit took up most of the hours in your day. Art was not something you liked to learn. Institutes hardly teach you anything and most of the professors have nothing nice to say about your art and style. You’ve gotten numerous comments from teachers and peers alike that with an attitude like that you don’t deserve to be part of the institute. Yes, you may have commented a nasty thing or two, but your art was not bad. It started to suck awhile ago because of the loss of love and inspiration. But that was not your fault, your parents were to blame.

’Ye, you turned me into a huge ball of depression and anxiety,’ you commented while glaring at the white ceiling. The night was still young, but your non-existent friendships didn’t allow you to go outside. Or was it the anxiety? ’Fuck it, I’m making some ramen,’ getting up and heading towards the kitchen, you missed the buzzing of your phone on the table.

Returning to the couch, you picked up your phone to see the countless of messages on it. You chuckled as you went through each message. ’Ye right, when was a figure model ever hot F/N,’ you typed a short reply and tossed your phone aside. Munching on your ramen, you turned on the TV, but paid zero attention to the screen and noise.

’New figure model, huh...Maybe this will be good.’

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

«𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭:  @pirate-diary​, @of-heroes-and-dreams​, @ukaiwachin​, @kawaiibaka96​, @proplayer-kenma​, @shinsukestan​, @brokutoforever​, @mysticrainpain​, @bareeganbaree​ and if you wish to be added to the taglist, either DM me or slip into my ask box ;3»

[kindofcashton]

𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕  •  chapter 10  (Calum Hood AU)

“HAVE A GOOD rest of your day.”  I smiled at the gray-haired woman as I handed her a freshly made raspberry tea.  She was the last customer in line, and everyone seated at the tables had been served.  Outside, the sun was shining almost painfully bright, casting golden rays through the cafe window.  I rested my elbows on the counter as I gazed at the world outside, wondering what the fresh breeze felt like on their skin.  I’d been at work for hours, long before the sun came up.  Mack had needed all hands on deck to do some rearranging with newly bought furniture and he decided since we were all there so early to deep clean the store.  I’d shined that very front window just this morning, and I wanted it to stay smudge-free for as long as possible.

“Hey, quit daydreaming.”  Roger’s voice broke me out of my daze, and I rolled my eyes at him.  Roger had quickly become one of my best friends in the entire city, and I could never stay mad or annoyed when he was around.  Even on the worst of days, he could get a smile out of me.  

“Why?” I countered.  “There’s no one to help.  Besides, it’s so nice outside and we’re stuck in here.”

He grabbed a small espresso mug and poured himself some tap water.  “Scarlett, are you seriously complaining about the smell of coffee beans and baking bread?”  I laughed; he was right.  If I had to be stuck anywhere I’d want to be in the cafe.  It smelled heavenly, and the warmth of the ovens was like a gentle caress.  Even though I hadn’t been paid yet, still on the probationary period Mack had set, I loved my job.  Coming to work was rarely a hassle, only when I was exhausted or having a bad day was it difficult to get through.

I joked around with Roger for a few more minutes, until the mid-afternoon crowd started filing in.  A couple of our regulars came in, and chatting with them was always nice.  I felt like I was part of a little community of coffee-lovers.  They often told me seeing my face was the best part of their day, because it meant caffeine was coming.  It was also nice having something separate from Hannah and the guys.  I was grateful for the help they were giving me, especially Hannah, but I liked having something that was my thing.  I missed being independent, and work gave me a little slice of that every day.

The rush died down, and the back door opened signaling Mack’s arrival.  He was usually in the back all day long, paying bills or making pastries or just hanging out.  As far as bosses go he was an amazing one; he was always open for questions and up for giving a helping hand, but he didn’t suffocate the employees or micromanage us.  As long as we didn’t screw up too often, he was happy.

“How’s it goin’ up here, you two?” he asked me and Roger.  What looked to be  brownie batter was smattered across his apron.  Mack was always making a mess while he baked.  

“Absolutely phenomenal,” Roger exaggerated, flipping a dish rag onto his shoulder.  “I’ve never had a day as exceptional as this one.”

Mack rolled his eyes, but under his bushy mustache I knew he’d cracked a smile.  “Try to contain your enthusiasm, Roger,” he said, and then he turned his attention to me.  “Your day is about to be even better than Roger’s here.”

I froze, heart beating fast in my chest.  Had the day finally come?  Was I officially an employee?  I’d lost count of how long it had been since Mack gave me the two week deadline.

“R-really?” I stuttered, trying not to get my hopes up.  

Mack folded his arms and regarded me with a thoughtful expression.  “I’ll admit, you were pretty crap in the beginning.  Must have screwed up every drink you made, somehow.”  I flushed at the memories of my rocky beginning.  “Still, you stuck with it, and now here you are, making mocha lattes left and right and only ruining a few of them.”  Roger gave me a mock high-five.  

Mack sent him a stern glance that Roger just smirked innocently at.  “Anyway, I’d like to officially hire you and start gettin’ you those paychecks you deserve.  Sound good?”

I had to hold in a squeal of excitement, not to mention a massive sigh of relief.  Just when money was really getting tight, I’d finally have an income.  Obviously part-time at a cafe wouldn’t earn me huge amounts of money, but I worked so often I was sure it would count for something.  

“Yes, that’s great.  Thank you so much, Mack,” I said, grinning ear to ear.  Roger pretended to stick a finger down his throat and gag, and Mack whipped him with a towel.

“Alright you two, get back to work.  I’ll have fresh brownies for the display case in half an hour.”

Once he’d disappeared back into the kitchen, I pumped my fist and let out a short laugh.  “This timing is perfect,” I told Roger.  “I have people at the bank breathing down my neck, this is exactly what I need.”

He smirked at me.  “You’re cute when you’re excited,” he commented, and I punched his arm lightly.  “We should celebrate after our shifts.”

“Perfect,” I replied.  “Wanna get dinner?”

“I was thinking tubs of ice cream and cheap beer in my car.”  I actually liked this idea; Roger had a cool souped-up convertible that I loved driving in.  The thought of sitting with the top down in the nice weather with a pint of ice cream and a paycheck in my future sounded amazing.

The rest of my shift couldn’t have gone fast enough.  Being in such a good mood helped time fly, and when two other employees came in for their shift after ours Roger and I happily clocked out and stepped into the warm breeze.

“I can’t believe you’re still taking the bus to work,” Roger told me as we climbed into his convertible.  I clicked my seat-belt and leaned back in the comfy leather seat. 

“Not all of us have fancy cars like this,” I reminded him, and he gasped.

“I worked hard for this car, Scarlett Mercer.  Don’t insult her like that.”  As Roger sped away I giggled, elated at the way the wind lifted my hair and the sun warmed my face.  He insisted on blasting awful music as we drove along the roads, and I was too busy laughing hysterically to be embarrassed.

When we got to the grocery store we decided to divide and conquer, with Roger getting the ice cream and me getting the beer.  I told him I wanted strawberry cheesecake, and he pretended to gag again as he told me, “Of course you’d be a strawberry cheesecake kind of girl.”

Wandering towards the fridges of beer, I had a blissful smile on my face.  There were so many choices and I was having a hard time picking something I thought we’d both like.  As I slowly moved down the aisle, I bumped into someone I hadn’t even seen in front of me since my thoughts were so distant.

“Oh, sorry--” I started, and then I realized exactly who I’d bumped into.  Messy hair, big hoodie, and a casual smirk.  Calum looked lazy and relaxed, like he’d just rolled out of bed even though it was the afternoon.  I smiled with a huff, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear.

“I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going,” I admitted, and he snorted.

“Clearly.”  He didn’t sound cold or mean, in fact his smirk was more of a smile.  I was still tentative around him, sort of feeling like I was on eggshells.  One wrong move and I’d scare him off, or make him angry.  I liked the weird in-between mood we had between us lately; not entirely polite, but definitely not cruel.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, adjusting the case of beer under his arm.  I gestured to the fridges in front of us.

“I need some beer, a coworker and I are celebrating.”  He didn’t ask what we were celebrating, which sent a pang of disappointment through me.

“Know what you want?” he questioned.  I was busy admiring the way the dark purple hoodie looked on his tall frame, and snapped my gaze back up to his.  

“Uh, no, actually,” I responded.  “Something cheap.  But other than that, I have no idea what to look for.”  I drank pretty much anything; as long as it had alcohol and it was in front of me, I never complained.

He rolled his eyes good naturedly, placing the case under his arm on the floor so he could fish through the fridge.  He pulled out an unfamiliar brand and handed it to me.  “This stuff gets the job done,” he explained, and I didn’t even check over the beer.  I trusted him.

“Thanks.”  I adjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder, chewing my lip as I wondered what else to say.  I didn’t want this conversation to end, but I also didn’t want to force it.  Maybe it was in my imagination, but Calum also looked like he wanted to say something.  I silently begged him to speak, hoping my green eyes communicated clearly with his brown ones.

Just at this moment Roger came down the aisle to join me, ice cream pints in hand.  I saw the thorough once over he gave Calum, taking in his black shorts and messy hair and purple hoodie.  I also saw Calum inspect Roger, more specifically his nose ring and ear piercings.  It was weird watching two of my worlds collide, and I shifted uncomfortably.

“Um, Roger, this is Calum,” I started to say.  “He’s one of the guys I live with.”

Roger whistled.  “You’re living with four of these things?” he asked me, causing my jaw to drop and Calum’s brows to furrow.  He didn’t look pissed, thankfully.  Yet, I reminded myself.  There’s still time.

Chuckling awkwardly, I nodded.  “Uh, yeah.  And Calum, this is Roger, he works at the cafe with me.”

Calum gave him a short nod of recognition, expression entirely unreadable.  I was worried we were annoying him, and grabbed Roger’s arm to start leading him away.

“Well, I’ll see you later, Calum,” I called.  “Thanks for the beer.”  He stayed quiet as he watched us leave, eyes never breaking away from my own.  I had to be the one to turn around, even though I missed his gaze as soon as it left.

“You didn’t tell me these roommates of yours were Greek gods,” Roger hissed.  I rolled my eyes and dragged him to the self-checkout, just hoping we could escape Calum and talk in private.

“I don’t know, wouldn’t it have been weird to say ‘hey, I live with four guys who are ridiculously attractive’?  Besides, what does it matter?”  I scanned the beer and the two ice creams, dropping them into a plastic bag.

“So you think they’re ridiculously attractive,” he fired back, and I frowned.  

“I mean, they’re not bad looking guys,” I admitted.  “I don’t know, I don’t really think about it.”  This wasn’t true; I thought about how not bad Calum looked all the time, against my will mostly.

“Okay, and have any of them made a move?  Do you wanna make a move?”

“Make a move to do what?” I questioned as we exited the store.  My eyes immediately scanned the parking lot for a familiar red mustang, and I saw it parked a few spots away from Roger’s convertible.

“Scarlett, if you don’t jump that guy’s bones I’m gonna be pissed,” Roger expressed, causing me to blush.  “Seriously, if the other three are even half as good looking as that one, you need to get some action.”

“We’re all--friends,” I tried to explain, failing abysmally and instead burying my face in the ice cream.  

“Bullshit.”  Roger drove a short ways to the park, and stopped his car under a big tree so we had some shade.  He cracked open a beer and gave me one, and we clinked them together in a cheers.

“I’m proud of you for finally not screwing up enough to be hired,” he pronounced.  “But now I really need you to get with that guy so that we can celebrate something else.”

I took a swig of beer, pleasantly surprised at the taste.  Calum was right; this got the job done alright.  “I don’t want to get with that guy,” I answered.  “He was really mean to me when I first got here, we’re only just recently on speaking terms.”

“Hate sex: even better.”

I groaned; there was no escaping Roger.  I changed the subject to something else, tired of talking about Calum.  Really, I was tired of thinking about him.  The quiz night had been fun but incredibly confusing; I mean, just that morning we’d been arguing.  I didn’t have the time or energy to figure out what was going on with him, and didn’t want to waste my afternoon with Roger talking about it.  We ate our ice cream and drank our beer and enjoyed the sunny afternoon, and by the time Roger drove me home the sun was beginning to set.

“See you tomorrow!” I shouted from the front step as he revved his engine and sped off.  I just caught sight of his middle finger going up before I entered the house.

I was greeted by an all too familiar sight; Hannah and Ashton squaring off in the kitchen, screaming their heads off at one another.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Hannah,” Ashton snapped, his eyes wild with anger.  This time though, Luke, Michael, and Calum were seated at the table and didn’t look too happy either.  What could she have done to piss them all off?

“Why are you giving me such a hard time?” Hannah demanded.  “I don’t need you making this more fucking difficult for me.”

“Difficult for you?”  I thought Ashton was going to blow a gasket.  No one had really noticed I was home, or at least I thought.  I saw Calum send me a heated glare that stopped the air in my throat.

“Do you think it’s easy finding out your girlfriend has been lying to you for months and doesn’t seem to find the problem with this?”

Hannah rolled her eyes.  “I can’t believe you’re actually making this about you!  Which is something you always fucking do, no matter what it’s about!  Everything revolves around you!”

Ashton sighed aggressively.  “Except this does involve me, because I’m your fucking boyfriend!  And it also involves them, and her.”  He jabbed a finger at the guys and then me, his expression just as angry when he was looking at me.

Luke spoke up from the table.  “Scarlett, did you know Hannah had failed out of college, not dropped out?’

I opened my mouth, prepared to come up with some sort of excuse, but Calum beat me to it.

“Of course she knew.  Maybe she’s lying too.”  I felt his words cut right into me; he’d been on my case about this for weeks, and now he was airing it to everyone else.

Ashton was looking at me expectantly.  “Well?  Care to explain?”

I took a short breath, sliding my eyes to Hannah’s desperate expression.  But there was nothing I could say to spare her now, not when Ashton knew she’d flunked out.  But I could still save myself.

“I don’t know what you want me to explain,” I bluffed.  “It was Hannah’s choice what she wanted to tell you.  I didn’t want to push her to do something she didn’t want to do.”  I wasn’t lying; Hannah agreed we’d keep quiet and respect each other’s wishes.  I wanted to keep my parents’ death and subsequent bankruptcy a secret, and she didn’t want anyone to know she failed out of her classes.  We knew it would be hard for people to wrap their heads around if they ever found out, but also knew they would never understand since they weren’t in our shoes.  I wished Ashton had some empathy for the girl he was supposed to love, but the anger and betrayal in his eyes was intense.  

“So you thought lying to everyone was the answer?” he demanded.  “I thought we’d already fought this out last time, when I found out you’d left school.  But to hear it was because you flunked?”

“What was I supposed to say, Ashton?” Hannah screamed, losing the last of her patience.  “You think I wanted to have to tell you I failed?  You’re this super smart, successful guy and I just wanted you to be proud of me!”

Ashton scoffed.  “Don’t blame this on me, I would’ve been proud of you regardless!”

“Really?  You can really say you don’t care that your girlfriend is so stupid she got kicked out of university?”  I could hear how Hannah’s voice was breaking, all of her insecurities bubbling to the surface.  She always struggled with feeling dumb, and being with Ashton didn’t help when he was so intelligent.  We all waited with bated breath for his response, and in my head I willed him to say the right thing.  Just say you love her, and want to support her.  Say it doesn’t matter that she isn’t the brightest student.  But Ashton was silent, apparently side-tracked by the brutal question.  I saw Hannah’s face crumble as she realized the truth; Ashton couldn’t be proud of her after what had happened, and he was even borderline ashamed of her.

Realization struck Hannah at this moment, because she let out a choked sob.  The sound broke my heart in two, and I rushed over to where she stood and wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace.  I saw Ashton sigh and storm out of the kitchen, the front door slamming as he left us in the dust.  Hannah sobbed again at the loud noise, and I felt all of her pain seep into me.  

Michael and Luke looked like they didn’t know what to believe, and didn’t say a word to either of us as they disappeared upstairs.  Calum stayed seated at the table, staring forward and not looking at Hannah or me.

Hannah sniffled, and untangled her arms from around me.  “Thanks, Scarlett,” she murmured, her eyes indicating the depth of her gratitude.  I just nodded, a huge lump in my throat preventing any words from coming out.  Hannah and I had gone through an impossible situation together, and nothing could tear us apart after that.  I watched her retreat down the basement stairs to where she slept, suddenly feeling like I was going to collapse from the weight of the pressure on my shoulders.

I flinched as suddenly Calum came right up to me, his face inches away as he studied my own.  I was sure I looked shell-shocked and completely broken, and for a second I was humiliated at being so vulnerable in front of him.

“Calum,” I choked out, tears welling in my eyes.  If he detected my crying, he stayed firm.

“I know you’re lying too,” he whispered, the breath tickling my ear and making my eyes shut.  He didn’t sound forceful or accusing; just matter-of-fact.  “That was bullshit, what you said.” 

I took in a shaky breath.  “Please,” I begged, finally looking at him.  His brown eyes widened at the sight of my tears, and even softened.  I was slightly stunned at how kindly he was gazing at me, and wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in his warm embrace.  

“Scarlett,” he said, trailing off as he reached a hand out.  I winced, and he saw my reaction and retracted his hand quickly.  I couldn’t handle the tension between us, all of the heat nearly suffocating me.  He wasn’t embracing me, he was drowning me.  I had to save myself.

“Please don’t ask me about it,” I pleaded, my voice barely more than a breath.  “I can’t...”  The words broke off into the air, and I swallowed roughly.  I just needed him to understand, just once.  

His lips parted, and I remembered when I’d kissed those lips all those nights ago.  How he made my stomach flutter in all the best ways, how his hands were like magic on my skin.  I leaned into him, only briefly, inhaling his scent that shrouded my mind.

He tilted his forehead forward ever so slightly until it grazed mine, the sensation like sparks igniting off our skin.  If I moved just a hair closer I could’ve kissed him.  Could’ve, but I didn’t.

Finally, he broke the silence between us with, “Okay.”  After the word left his lips, he leaned back and put distance between us.  A whoosh of air left my lungs, and I fought to keep steady as he passed by me.  As he did so, the back of his hand brushed mine.  It was the lightest of touches, but it was more understanding than I’d ever seen from him before. 

Not until I heard his bedroom door close could I finally breathe again.

[omegaplus]

# 3,687

Record Store Victory Tour, 2018.

Having three shoulder operations to beat cancer has been the ultimate life victory thus far. It was the most amazing and largest outpouring of support ever. Friends, family, allies, co-workers in good-standing, and even names whom I haven’t seen or heard from in years came to congratulate me and wish me onto a speedy recovery. I don’t know if nine months is what you call “speedy”. Nine months of shoulder replacements, ten weeks of in-home nurse visits, a MRSA infection, six weeks of in-home intravenous antibiotics, and missing two label showcases were balanced out with staying up until 4AM every morning finding endless music (Negril, Robert Ashley, and Steve Khan to name a few), daily postings, heavy amounts of sleep, and Dad’s daily deliveries of free food full of steak, sushi, pizza, chicken, egg rolls, and pasta. With a nine-month blackout period of not leaving the house ever, you had to make the best of it. I knew that after this I would never ever answer to any random nobody about my shoulder. And looking back at it, I say to myself as to why I even let it go so far.

Working for a great company and playing your cards right, you could sit and collect benefits while staying at home doing almost next to nothing. I now had more money in the bank when I last left work. So I promised myself that after I fully recover, I’d treat myself like I never had before. I decided that I would go on a record-store victory tour. I would hit up each and every independent record place, go crazy, and buy up everything I can. After nine months of being bed-ridden and staying home, I needed to treat myself with retail therapy. I needed to get out there and be myself again. Of all I been through and endured, I deserved it.

I didn’t immediately do it, however. It took me a few months to earn back the $2,000 I lost in savings when the benefits ended. While that happened, I enjoyed hot August days walking from my house to the veteran’s park and back, witnessed my ex- Yenny get married, attended Hospital Productions’ 20th Anniversary showcase (a day I will never forget), had a night out in my neighborhood Dave & Busters with my co-workers, and started getting in touch with a Brooklyn witch. I made two label orders with Italians Do It Better and RRRecords which help things get started. As you see, it only got better.

February came and we got a surprise $1,000 from our company. Tax refunds and a third paycheck of the month sealed the deal and all systems go. My first stop was at Patchogue’s Record Stop, their new location since moving from their Shirley warehouse, and thumbed through whatever old-school hip-hop, 12” singles, and other small easy victories I could find. It wasn’t until places like West Sayville’s Vinyl Paradise was when spending three hours minimum searching in stores and $200.00 a visit on music was normal. I can also count West Babylon’s Looney Tunes, Mineola’s Mr. Cheapo’s, and Amityville’s High Fidelity who could’ve matched the totals I had from that store. It’s all about finding the most for less. Whether it’s Seventies’ jazz / fusion on vinyl, discount 12” singles, used CDs, dollar hardcore / punk 45’s, or other long-awaited finds, amassing history and style points is the most self-serving and exciting hunt I take part of. Other stores such as Northport’s Record Reserve, Massapequa’s Infinity Records, Riverhead’s Sunday Records, and Rosie’s Vintage (the smallest of them all) allowed for tidier spaces and friendlier prices for me to walk out with, with smaller receipts ranging from a mere $30.00 to $100.00.

Of course, with many victories come disappointments. Plainview just opened a new store called Vinyl Bay 777. It’s one of the cleanest and shiniest stores on the island, but also the most expensive. With a penchant for ambition and grading, their selections are anywhere from three to five times the price of what you’d find in others store. It was the only experience of the tour that I left feeling poor and let down. The other disappointment? Innersleeve Records all the way at the East End / Amangansett. Why? I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to go.

And almost every store have their own legacy. Record Stop’s been around since 1974 starting in Ronkonkoma, then shuffling to a warehouse in Shirley before finally settling in Patchogue. The family-owned and highly-awarded Looney Tunes had survived a summer fire and took them 90 days to rebuild. This year they’ll celebrate their 50th anniversary. Mr Cheapo’s has two locations, the only store on the island to do so. High Fidelity moved to larger and cleaner digs which solved their storage issues. Record Reserve just moved again; their fourth time in ten years of operation. Infinity Records was the only store on the ropes during the pandemic relying on crowd-funding to make up for the rent. Rosie’s Vintage isn’t owned by Rosie. In fact, Rosie doesn’t exist. It’s a rockabilly wife named Thea who owns an antique store. And you can’t get any literal than Sunday Records, which is only open on Sundays. It’s the only store I know who classified their records not on genre but radio stations and chart positions.

The entire experience was great and I looked to do it again the year after. Unfortunately, I had lots of traffic tickets, fees, and violations to pay. With a vehicle in disrepair and an expired inspection, driving out in daylight without the police spotting me was not ideal. Then I looked to do it last year, and we all know what happened. The pandemic paralyzed and killed businesses left and right. With immediate closures and stop of life, everyone stayed home for their lives.

Next time, it’s going down.

Essential money was saved all throughout the pandemic. Two stimulus checks later, a third on the way, tax refunds, a third bi-weekly check in April, and a bank transfer means I’m ready to do it all over again. In fact, it’s already started! Rough Trade announced it’s relocating from its’ Williamsburg spot. With 25% off books, merchandise, and CDs, it was an incentive to get to it. With me waiting forever to go, now was the chance. I found the perfect March Wednesday to do it and I finally made it happen. What you’ll read later on became the most expensive purchase I ever made at a record store, and also the greatest.

Most locations (except Vinyl Bay 777, replaced by any given one New York City store) are on the list for the next record-store tour. I healed mostly from last summer’s depression and I had a trouble-free winter. With a day out at Williamsburg’s Rough Trade, the spring euphoria and hope came back like it did the first time around. With money in the bank, vaccines, and everything coming back into play, it’s time to have fun again like I want to.

For those who can’t be harassed by looking up our series and reading our visits one-by-one, here’s the final results of 2018’s tour:

Mic Geronimo “Masta I.C.”

Jemini The Gifted One “Funk Soul Sensation”

Hi-Tek “Hi Teknology”

Schoolly D “Livin’ In The Jungle” b/w “Gucci Again”

Richie Cole New York Afternoon

Dott & Night School Carousel split e.p.

Joe Beck self-titled

Chick Corea Return To Forever

Hank Crawford Hank Crawford’s Back

Steve Khan Tightrope

Tappan Zee label Best Of…

Shabba Ranks “Ram Dancehall” b/w “Original Woman”

D&D All-Stars “1, 2 Pass It”

Rayvon “No Guns, No Murder”

Doug E. Fresh & Beenie Man “Hands In The Air”

Black Moon “Black Smif-N-Wesson” b/w Smif-N-Wesson “Headz Ain’t Redee”

Goats, The “Burn The Flag” b/w “Typical American”

Little Shawn “Don Perignon”

Specials, The More Specials

Lee Ritenour The Best Of…

Steve Khan Arrows

Genesis Invisible Touch

Vacancies, The Tantrum

Nobodys, The Generation XXX

Easy Action Friends Of Rock & Roll

New Bomb Turks Scared Straight

Roots, The Do You Want More?!!!??!

Eric B & Rakim Don’t Sweat The Technique

Boogie Down Productions Edutainment

X Clan Xodus

Lords Of The Underground Here Come The Lords

Buckshot LeFonque self-titled

Channel Live Station Identification

Funkdoobiest Brothas Doobie

Method Man & Mary J. Blige “I’ll Be There For You” / “You’re All I Need”

GZA / Genius Liquid Swords

Milk Never Dated

Naughty By Nature 19 Naughty III

Das EFX Straight Up Sewaside

Grand Puba 2000

Naughty By Nature Poverty’s Paradise

Ol’ Dirty Bastard Return To The 36 Chambers (dirty version)

George Michael Faith

Cabaret Voltaire The Arm Of The Lord

Nitzer Ebb As Is

Strawberry Switchblade Who Knows What Love Is?

Steve Jones Mercy

Patti Smith Easter

Ramsey Lewis Tequila Mockingbird

Doors, The Greatest Hits

Cabaret Voltaire Drinking Gasoline

Utah Saints “Something Good”

Image In Vogue self-titled EP

Steely Dan Pretzel Logic

No Age Losing Feeling

Dead Or Alive “Brand New Lover”

Cabaret Voltaire The Drain Train

Public Image Ltd. “Home”

Gary Numan “Cars” / “Metal”

Malcomb McLaren “Soweto” b/w “Zulu’s On A Time Bomb”

J. Geils Band “Centerfold” b/w “Rage In The Cage”

Fad Gadget “One Man’s Meat” b/w “Sleep”

Tony Basil “Mickey” b/w “Hangin’ Around”

Stray Cats “(She’s) Sexy + 17” b/w “Lookin’ Better Every Beer”

Madness “Our House” b/w “Cardiac Arrest”

Todd Rundgren “Hello It’s Me” b/w “Cold Morning Light”

No Age Eraser 7”

Suzanne Vega “Luca” b/w “Night Vision”

Siouxsie Sioux & The Banshees “Hong Kong Garden” b/w “Night Vision”

Nice & Wild “Diamond Girl” 12″

Shabba Ranks “Mr. Loverman” 12″

Dire Straits self-titled

Mad Skillz “Nod Factor” 12“

Boogiemonsters “Recognized Thresholds Of Negative Stress” 12″

Blahzay Blahzay “Danger!” 12″

Harold Faltermeyer “Axel F” 12“

Spyro Gyra self-titled

Malcomb McLaren & The World Famous Supreme Team “Buffalo Gals” 12″

Self Defense Family “Self Immolation Family” b/w “World Virgins” 7”

Peter Gabriel Security

Mantronix The Album

Eric Gale Forecast

Arsonists As The World Burns

Beat Street motion picture soundtrack

Kool & The Gang Light Of Worlds

Dire Straits Making Movies

Shirts, The Street Light Shine

Belinda Carlisle Belinda

Makers, The Rock Star God

Bug, The Infected

Peter Gabriel Car

Filter Short Bus

Warzone Fight for Justice

Mood Doom

Jane’s Addiction Nothing’s Shocking

Depeche Mode Ultra

Curve Cuckoo

Prurient & Kevin Drumm All Are Guests In The House Of The Lord

KMD Mr. Hood

Sonic Youth Evol

Algiers self-titled

ESG A South Bronx Story deluxe disc

No Age Nouns

Greymachine Disconnected

Killing Joke Hosannas From The Basements Of Hell

Television Marquee Moon expanded disc

Esther Phillips Capricorn Princess

Severed Heads Cuisine With Piscatorial

Elastica self-titled

Sonic Youth & Mats Gustavsson & Merzbow SYR8

Killing Joke Pandemonium

Eric Gale Multiplication

Front Line Assembly Echoes

Wavves  King Of The Beach

Strawberry Switchblade Since Yesterday 12”

Bjork Telegraph

Public Image Ltd. Second Edition

Esther Phillips Performance

Hatebreed The Rise Of Brutality

Killing Joke Night Time

Wilbert Longmire Champagne

Grover Washington, Jr. A Secret Place

Young Black Teenagers “Tap The Bottle” 12”

Sagat “Funk Dat” 12”

Crash Crew “Breaking Bells (Take Me To The Mardi Gras)” 12”

Prurient Pleasure Ground

Victory Records Victory Style II

Esther Phillips & Joe Beck For All We Know

Sonic Youth Confusion Is Sex + Kill Your Idols

Swell Maps A Trip To Marineville

Severed Heads Rotund For Success

Whodini Escape

Killing Joke Revelations

Stop The Violence Movement, The “Self-Destruction” 12”

Eric Gale Part Of You

Professionals, The “The Magnificent” 7”

Guyana Punch Line self-titled 7”

Heart  self-titled cassette

Cars, The Shake It Up

Rolling Stones, The Some Girls (cut-out)

Peter Gabriel Melt

Weather Report Heavy Weather

A Clockwork Orange motion picture soundtrack

Genesis Abacab

Laura Nyro self-titled

Stranglers, The IV

Samantha Fox I Wanna Have Some Fun

Spyro Gyra self-titled

Cars, The Candy-O

Peter Gabriel Scratch

Debbie Gibson Out Of The Blue

Spent Idols “Chinese Suicide” b/w “Gacy’s Gone” 7″

Out Cider D.C. label Raise The Flag: DC Hardcore Vol. 1 7″

Blackbyrds, The Action

Deodato 2

Jon Lucien The Best Of…

Bob James 2

Hubert Laws Romeo & Juliet

Deodato Love Island

Rolling Stones Undercover (stickered)

Bob James 3

Deodato Whirlwinds

George Benson White Rabbit

Bob James 4

Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth Mecca & The Soul Brother

Jedi Mind Tricks Legacy Of Blood

Naughty By Nature self-titled

M.I.A. Arular

P.O.S. Never Better special edition disc

Unseen, The Explode

Richard Hell & The Voidoids Blank Generation

M.I.A. Kala

All Dogs 7”

Last Shop Standing DVD

Katt Williams The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1 DVD

Jerky Boys, The Stop Staring At Me cassette

Paula Abdul Forever Your Girl cassette

Up In Arms / Eternal Youth split 7”

Defiant Trespass / Cold Like December split 7”

Make Or Break Down For Life! 7”

Arcadius / 7654 Stories split 7”

Pissed Jeans demo 7”

Search Bloc Life, By The Code 7”

Proud Youth Nothing’s Changed 7”

UN Bodies Unremarkably Mortal 7”

Force Of Change The Bond We Share 7”

Self Defense Family “Indoor Wind Chimes” b/w “Cottaging”

Tolerate self-titled 7”

Joe South & The Believers “Walk A Mile In My Shoes” b/w “Trespass”

Bread And Water / Reason Of Insanity split 7”

Stigmata There Is No Mercy Here 7”

Degenerats, The 7”

Monster X 1993 demo 7”

Last Dead Word 7”

Let It Burn From Jersey With Love 7”

Slak Another Disaster 7”

Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These” 7”

Toni Basil “Mickey” 7”

Squeeze “853-5937″ 7”

Nena “99 Luftballons” 12”

Staple Singers City In The Sky

Unsung Heroes “What Would You Do?” 12”

White Mystery self-titled

D.S. 13 Vad Vet Vi Om Kriget?

Killing Joke Brighter Than A Thousand Suns

Marc Hurtado & Vomir 2011 / Sang+

Razed In Black Shrieks, Laments, And Anguished Cries

No Future Plan Of Attack

Die Krupps & Front Line Assembly Remix Wars

Maldoror She

Self Defense Family Heaven Is Earth cassette

Unholy Archangel The Wrath Of Kosmostistis cassette

Tod Hate Campiagn, Hymn To The Death cassette

Krieg Blue Miasma cassette

Hekseri The Atrocity (Early Demos) cassette

Crebain Under Black Wigs Of Night cassette

Riddle Of Meander End Of All Life And Creation cassette

Black Flame Torment And Glory cassette

Xasthur self-titled cassette

Krieg Songs For Resistance cassette

Striborg A Procession Of Lost Souls cassette

Tod Black Metal Manifesto cassette

Laura Nyro Christmas And The Beads Of Sweat

Genesis Invisible Touch

Clash, The Black Market Clash 10″

Delegation The Promise Of Love

Herbie Hancock “Rockit”

B-52’s, The Wild Planet

Blondie Parallel Lines

Spyro Gyra Catching The Sun

Brecker Bros. self-titled

Herb Alpert Rise

Heart Dreamboat Annie

Tom Scott Blow It Out

Pat Metheny American Garage

Martha Velez Escape From Babylon

Stanley Turrentine Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

Bob James & Earl Klugh One On One

Sister Sledge All-American Girls

Black Moon “Who Got The Props?” b/w “Fuck It Up”

Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock “It Takes Two”

Shannon Let The Music Play

Jellybean “Wotupski?”

Fu-Schnickens “Sum Dum Monkey” b/w “Visions (20/20)”

Tortoise & Autechre “Adverse Camber” b/w “To Day Retrieval”

Shirts, The Inner Sleeve

Freedom U.S.A. Hardcore

Coke Bust Confined

Ressurection I Am Not: The Discography

Spit It Out self-titled

Vice Flawed

Terror The Walls Will Fall

This Is Hell Bastards Still Remain 

Subterfuge Fight Back 

Bikini Kill self-titled single red 7″

Hangman A Vile Decree 

Dead Kennedys “Nazi Punks Fuck Off!” (with lyric bag and armbands)

Until Your Heart Stops We Are Not Coming Down

Corrective Measure self-titled

Soft Cell “Tainted Love”

Kraftwerk “Pocket Calculator” b/w “Dentaku” clear yellow 7”

Six Weeks label America In Decline CD

Tear It Up The December 2000 Sessions CD

Dee Cracks “Be My Valentine” red heart-shaped flexi

This Means War “Use It Up” flexi

Broadcaster b/w Aspiga (Secret Audio Club Wax Pack)

Marathon b/w Fire When Ready (Secret Audio Club Wax Pack)

Sugarhill Gang “The Lover In You” 12”

Grover Washington Jr. Mister Magic

Carmen McRae In Person

U.T.F.O. “Roxanne, Roxanne” 12”

Ahmad “Back In The Day” 12”

DJ Yella “4 Tha E” 12”

L.A. Style “James Brown Is Dead” 12”

Knucklehedz “Hed Rush” 12”

Flatlinerz “Live Evil” 12”

Blondie “Rapture” 7”

Chemical Brothers Come With Us

Royal Trux Thank You

Delerium ft. Sarah McLachlan & DJ Tiesto “Silence”

Prime Minister Pete Nice & Daddy Rich “Rap Prime Minister & Daddy Rich (Rat Bastard)” 12”

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Rewatching the HP and FB movies

I have a tradition of rewatching HP movies at least once a year. This year, I added the two FB movies as well. I know lots of people have well deserved issues with a lot of thing with the franchise and I do too, but I still thoroughly enjoy the movies. All of them. Certainly there are some big issues I have, like how Kloves treated Ron starting from GOF onwards, and how Hermione kind of became a mary sue, and definitely some of the things that were added or removed, like the removal of some of the Riddle memories in HBP, removing the pretty fascinating Dumbledore backstory in Deathly Hallows, the silly inconsistencies like polyjuice not changing the voice of the characters etc... But in general, I still think the movies did a great job capturing the spirit of the books and the casting was just incredible. Especially the adult casting. I know we have only seen one version of Harry Potter on the big screen, but I envision these actors, especially the adults, when I’m reading the books now. Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltraine, Mark Williams, Julie Walters etc... are now the faces I see when I think of those characters. Richard Harris was a terrific Dumbledore for the first two movies, where he had more of grandfatherly, twinkling, vibe. I know people are critical of Gambon in GOF and he admittedly did get the characterization wrong, but I feel he was excellent in POA, OOTP, and especially HBP. Alan Rickman was just so outstanding in the role of Snape. I genuinely feel he should have gotten some Oscar consideration for his performance in DH2. But he was incredible even when he had only a few scenes and had to be super dry in his dialogue delivery. Maggie Smith was similarly wonderful. But these were just the adult regulars, but equally incredible were the phenomenal actors who came for just a few films. There are so many. Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Imelda Staunton, Helena Bonham Carter, Brendan Gleeson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Isaacs, Emma Thompson, Jim Broadbent etc... among many others. A lot of these actors only had a film or two where they had a significant presence, but they showed up in cameos in other films, particularly in DH2. I have a lot of respect for the casting directors for this franchise since they cast basically half of all of British’s well respected acting thespians. Even someone like Bill Nighy appeared, just for two scenes in DH1. Rhys Ifans came in DH1 and was terrific in the two scenes he was in. Ciaran Hinds also was in just one or two scenes and he was also very good. And all these actors felt like they gave it their all and that it wasn’t just a paycheck role.

When it comes to child casting, what strikes me is the amazing continuity the series kept. Its one thing to be able to keep the core child actors like Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, and Tom Felton, but one of the most satisfying aspects of the series is that a lot of the core group of side characters were continuously played by the same actors. Not just Matthew Lewis and Bonnie Wright  and the Phelps brothers, but also Alfred Enoch as Dean, Devon Murray as Seamus, and Joshua Herdman as Goyle. It would be very easy to replace some of these side characters over time and no one would notice, but the continuity makes it so much more enjoyable when in DH2 Seamus helps Neville blow up a bridge based on the fact that we know Seamus from the first movie was known for blowing stuff up. Its the small things that make it so great. Possibly the most accurate bit of casting was Evana Lynch as Luna. I honestly can’t think of a single actor more perfectly cast in the series than her. The core quartet were all lovely. Not always consistent, but more than good enough. I actually think Dan was the weakest actor when the series started, but he made remarkable improvement in the back half of the series, especially OOTP onwards. He is outstanding in DH2 I thought. Tom Felton didn’t always have to do much until HBP, but he was excellent in HBP. He does seem to have been stereotyped a little in the other roles I’ve seen him in but it still means he was great. Emma Watson’s performance fluctuated a bit. She was very good as a kid, then she was kind of bad in GOF and in parts of OOTP, but she found her footing again in HBP and especially in DH1, which I still consider to be her best acting performance to date. I think Rupert was always the most natural actor of the lot. He was probably the most hard done by the Kloves because they kind of typecast him as the comedic sidekick, but I can’t fault Rupert because he was a pretty gifted comic. Like Emma, when he got more scope in DH1, he did an incredible job. I would say Bonnie Wright is maybe the only one who didn’t fully grow into the role for me. It probably has a lot to do with writing, but she also really didn’t share any chemistry with Dan which made that relationship feel pretty flat and forced. But all in all the casting really made these movies and they elevate the movies significantly. But I admit all the craft behind it. Also, some of these movies are close to two decades old and the effects hold up quite well. I think there are scenes in the first movie that look a little dated, particularly the flying scenes, but subsequent movies seemed to find the right blend of practical and visual effects to make the movies look pretty timeless. 

I think all the directors did their job really well. Columbus did a good job of bringing the childlike wonder of the initial books to life, Cuaron brought his more adult quality as the kids grew up, Newell ramped up the scale and the scope, and Yates managed to bring home the darkness. Definitely the films weren’t flawless. Like I mentioned before, there were times when some characterizations were off, some key subplots were eliminated or not handled well, some things added which were not needed etc... but the spirit of the books remains. I have a deep fondness for the movies as I feel I grew up with them as I am basically the same age as all the main child actors in the movie so I grew up and watched them grow up. So while they aren’t in the league of greatest films of all time, but its a remarkably consistent and enjoyable franchise that lasted an entire decade.

When it comes to Fantastic Beasts series, I was excited that Yates and Rowling were developing something new but I also feared what would happen given they didn’t have the structure of a book series to guide them. The fears ended up being fairly valid. The first FB is a pretty enjoyable film. I do think they did a good job creating a likable quartet of main characters and the actors all did a pretty remarkable job. It was also a refreshing change to watch Magical World from an adult POV as well as experiencing a new location and time period as well. The issue with the first film is that the film has two separate storylines which don’t really merge well together. The story of Newt, Jacob, Tina, and Queenie finding and recapturing the suitcase of magical creatures is actually very charming. The film does a nice job of creating some unique magical creatures and adding something new to the Magical World, but then there is a dark and gloomy second plot which doesn’t work as well because it essentially isn’t much of a story other than just showing Credence being abused and manipulated time and time again until the climax. It neither merges well tonally, nor plot wise. The way they try to put Newt at the center of the climax felt very clumsy and unearned. Overall, the first film still has sufficient enjoyable charm and I certainly like Redmayne, Waterston, Fogol, and Sudol. Farrell was a damn good villain. Miller was a little too mannered for my taste but I understand what he was going for. Voight is there for no reason at all in a perplexing subplot that goes nowhere. But still, more positives than negatives. FB2 is where the franchise really dropped the ball for the first time and Rowling’s inexperience as a movie screenplay writer became very obvious. The film is literally a setup for future movie, designed to get characters into certain places where the real story can start. the film essentially has no plot other than a bunch of wizards across Europe are looking for Credence and Credence is searching for his identity. There is really nothing else in the movie. The movie is overpopulated with characters, and Newt ends up even more incidental in this movie since he has no interest in going after Credence himself at all for 2/3 of the movie. All the things that were good about the first movie are lost as Jacob and Queenie only share two scenes together, Tina and Newt only share the last act or so together, Newt and Jacob end up only have a couple of scenes together. Its all rather boring and dull. The performances are fine. Depp was a good enough Grindelwald but I don’t think he was given any more to do other than just be surface level evil. One of the most inspired casting decisions was Jude Law as Dumbledore. While he doesn’t ape Gambon or Harris, he does capture the twinkling spirit of Dumbledore and his scenes are the best. The film also has a rather odd plot concerning Leta Lestrange. It is simultaneously important and completely pointless at the same time. I felt that the character had a compelling backstory and interesting potential but the film barely has time to address it any sort of depth before she gets pointlessly killed off at the end. The film also does a pretty bizarre character assassination of Queenie who makes decision that I really don’t understand. I guess this all boils down to the fact that this story may have worked in Rowling’s head as a book where each character’s internal thought could have been given more depth but what happens is that pretty much every sub story is pretty unsatisfying. Its certainly not an unwatchable disaster, just rather dull and devoid of the spark that the wizarding world movies should have. I hope they can turn things around because the film leaves things at a very peculiar juncture which doesn’t make much sense based on what we know of the HP canon.

[tisfan]

So Many Beds

Title So Many Beds Collaborator(s) @tisfan Link https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480112 Square Filled B4: Bucky/Clint Ship/Main Pairing Bucky/Clint Rating - teen Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings - none Summary Bucky and Clint need a new bed Word Count 1264 For @buckybarnesbingo

Bucky could have sworn that he didn’t look at his phone for more than about four minutes; he got a beep for an email, and he was hoping to hear back about a contract job soon. It might be nice to have a job that wasn’t shooting at people, but hey, he’d only been out of the Army for less than a year, what did he know? He knew he still didn’t have steady work. He’d had a couple of contracts for doing heavy lifting and other stupid stuff like that, but not a real job, or a real paycheck.

What he did know was that, after half a year of being home and stepping cautiously around a super cute roomie who he wasn’t quite positive wasn’t hitting on him -- and he’d talked it out about sixty million times with his friends before finally taking a chance.

Six months in, Clint finally said, “Look, this is great and all, believe me, I love snuggling, but man, it’s gonna get hot soon, and sleeping two in a twin is just not going to cut it.”

Bucky had a small amount of savings; there really hadn’t been anything to spend money on aside from hookers and booze, while he was deployed, and no, really, not either of those either, because guess what, the middle east wasn’t big on actual relaxing. So, he had savings.

Which did not really mean he wanted to spend three hundred dollars or so on half a bed, and a boxspring, because he didn’t do that shit of sleeping on the floor. Plus sheets and pillows and all that stuff.

On the other hand, moving into the same bedroom with Clint would mean that they had a spare room in their apartment that they could use as an office.

Maybe he could get some work doing computer software. From home.

Bucky blinked at the email. “Your breakdown backup.” The fuck even was that? 

Spam, as it turned out. It didn’t seem to matter how careful he was, or how thoroughly he triaged his inbox, some amount of “let me sell you shit you don’t need and can’t afford” seemed to slip through.

All in all, though, he was looking at his phone for less than ten minutes. Probably.

And when he looked up, Clint was gone.

Like, not just not beside him, but gone.

He’d either kept going -- not noticing Bucky’s signal to stop a minute -- or he’d gone back.

But in either case, Bucky was now standing alone in the middle of one of those furniture outlet stores that was the size of an airplane hanger, filled with discount sofas and tables, as well as beds, televisions, and electronics.

And the worst part was, in order to give people the idea of space, the floorplan was made up of about half a hundred or so “room sized” display areas that weren’t evenly spaced. 

Which meant sight lines were nothing but a wish and a dream.

Bucky couldn’t see more than fifty feet in any direction.

Bucky wanted it known, period, that he wasn’t scared. That wasn’t even on the list. He was just  annoyed. He was in a big ass furniture store. In New Jersey. Alone.

Because his parter-slash-boyfriend had vanished while Bucky looked like an email.

Annoyed.

Bucky called his name a few times, but Clint was partly deaf, and while he wore hearing aids, they didn’t always help. Especially not in a high noise clutter environment like this. He might even have taken the ‘aids out, if things were bothering him. Bucky usually signed when he talked anyway, just to be polite.

Deciding that Clint probably wouldn’t have gone on ahead, Bucky decided to backtrack through the last few showrooms.

No Clint.

He checked the room with the bare mattresses, piles and piles of them, for laying down on and testing -- Clint had laid down on about forty of them, and Bucky only two.

He couldn’t seem to relax enough to test a mattress -- with his boyfriend -- where people might see them. Call him a self-hating, still in the closet gay man. Which was kinda true, but also because laying down made him vulnerable, and he was still jittery from being in the Army where laying down sometimes meant people shot at you.

Some things took a long time to unlearn.

No Clint in the mattress room.

Bucky backtracked even further, thinking of the rows of sofas that Clint had tried, excited as hell about things like heated seats and consoles where you could store your remotes and cup holders and fancy gizmos.

“Can I help you find something, sir?”

“I’m lookin’ for my roommate,” Bucky said, scowling.

“Well, I can have him paged,” she suggested. “Since he’s probably not in the clearance section.”

“Yeah, we can try that,” Bucky said. Although it was entirely likely that Clint was in the clearance section. He could be a real cheapskate that way, and maybe he was looking for a good deal there.

Bucky texted him like six times while the store intercom system went off. Nothing. 

Bucky wasn't worried.

Yet. 

"Do you have a first aid station?"

"Uh," the salesclerk said. "Technically, yes, because safety and liability, but there's never anyone there."

"Just point me, I'll check on it," he said. Clint was often sporting any number of bandaids and wrist compression grips from hurting himself.

It did take him a while to find the first aid station. But Clint wasn't there either.

Bucky even checked the kitchen area, since Clint had once fallen asleep on the table in Steve apartment and called it the best night of sleep he'd ever had.

Finally, sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, face buried in his hands, Bucky remembered a conversation they'd had, about Clint's brother Barney. 

"He always got the top bunk," Clint had complained. And you know I like high places."

“Miss,” he said. She didn’t look happy that he’d come back again, still sans companion. "Do you have any kid's beds? Like for two kids sharin' a room?"

The salesclerk looked at him as if he’d lost his mind, but that was okay. He was pretty sure she’d decided that he was imagining a roommate entirely. That said, she didn’t follow him this time, when she pointed the direction. Let the crazy guy be someone else’s problem.

The kids’ rooms were cute, the walls were shorter, and everything was colorful. Bright blue and red, purple or pink. Giant numbers, letters, and animals painted on it. Adult furniture was boring. Brown, light brown, reddish brown, chrome, white, or black.

It was no wonder people had kids; kept you from drowning in how boring being an adult could be.

And there was Clint, tucked up on one of the top bunks.

Sound asleep.

“Wake up, beautiful,” Bucky said, leaning over Clint, his mouth practically buzzing Clint’s hair. He ended it with sticking his tongue in Clint’s ear, which got him swatted and nearly knocked off the ladder, but it was worth it.

Absolutely.

“Yuck,” Clint said, finger in his ear, wiggling it around. “No call for that.”

“Sure there was,” Bucky said. “Let’s go, Sleeping Beauty.”

Clint yawned. “Yeah, we’re all done here?”

“I’ve been walkin’ around here for nearly an hour looking for you. I’m done.”

They were most of the way back to their apartment when Clint groaned. “Aw, bed, no.”

“Huh?”

“We didn’t-- we were there for hours, and we didn’t pick one!”

“Guess I’m squashin’ you in the twin again tonight,” Bucky said.

“There are worse fates.”