#pogue
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maybanksprincess · 2 months ago
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I am sooo stressed out w/ the election and drama in my family and it has made Protective Boyfriend JJ a need. On that note, could I please request your head canons on an overly protective BF JJ? I just know that man would literally get thrown in jail to protect his girl and that’s just uuuugggh….
Of course if you would rather not since ppl are tryna bring this bs drama back to your blog that is obviously okay, love you and I hope this doesn’t get started back up❤️❤️
-🌻
im so sorry your going thru all that stress babe! i hope it gets better, sending kisses and hugs! 🫂💋
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protective!bf!jj who always has a hand hooked around your waist in public, no matter where you two are. he occasionally squeezes you to remind himself your still there.
protective!bf!jj who never lets you go out alone, even to the store (especially if its late)
protective!bf!jj who almost never lets anyone else drive you anywhere. he doesn't trust anyone else and doesn't want you getting hurt or in an accident.
protective!bf!jj who always skips out on drinking alcohol at parties to make sure you don't do something stupid or throw up on yourself.
protective!bf!jj who is immediately at your doorstep when he hears your having a bad day.
protective!bf!jj who always is there to rub your back, and give you forehead kisses when you dont feel good, or had a shitty day.
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im sorry its short, i hope you feel better. mwah! 💋💋💋
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cherryfyre · 25 days ago
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5 Ways Sarah Cameron Used Rafe To Change Your Mind
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For the ladies in the back !! @lovinqbella 🥂🥂
1. Convincing You to Attend a Party
You stood in Sarah’s room, arms crossed, shaking your head. “No way. I’m not going to that party. It’s just going to be a mess of drunk people and bad music.”
Sarah groaned, flopping dramatically onto her bed. “You’re impossible. It’s one party, and everyone’s going to be there.”
“Exactly my point,” you replied, raising an eyebrow.
She glanced at her phone and suddenly smirked. “Fine, don’t go. But you know who is going?”
“I don’t care,” you said quickly, but the way she raised her brows in response made your stomach twist.
“Rafe’s going,” she said, casually scrolling. “And honestly, he doesn’t go to these things that often anymore. Kinda weird, actually.”
You hesitated, looking out her window like you could avoid the conversation altogether. “That’s… irrelevant.”
Sarah grinned. “Is it? Because last time I checked, you two had been getting along pretty well. I’m just saying, he asked if you were coming.”
Before you could respond, her bedroom door creaked open. Rafe leaned against the frame, one hand tucked into the pocket of his hoodie. “You coming or not?”
His blue eyes locked on yours, unreadable, though there was a flicker of something—expectation, maybe—that made your heart skip.
“I haven’t decided,” you said, standing straighter.
Rafe smirked, tilting his head slightly. “Sounds like a yes to me. I’ll see you there.” He turned and walked away, leaving you with a stunned expression and Sarah grinning like she’d won.
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2. Persuading You to Go on a Group Hike
“Nope. Not happening,” you said, firmly tying your sneaker and standing up.
Sarah frowned. “Why not? It’ll be fun! Fresh air, great views, all that stuff.”
You gave her a pointed look. “It’s a hike. You know I don’t do bugs, dirt, or sweating unless absolutely necessary.”
Sarah sighed, tapping her phone against her palm thoughtfully. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to tell Rafe you bailed.”
You blinked. “Rafe?”
“Yeah, he’s coming. Said he wanted to get out of the house. Weird, right? Anyway, he’s probably going to make fun of you for being scared of a little exercise, but I’ll tell him you had a good excuse.”
You narrowed your eyes. “I’m not scared. I just don’t see the point.”
Sarah smirked. “Sure. Tell that to him when he asks where you are.”
An hour later, you were trailing behind the group, muttering under your breath about Sarah’s manipulation. Rafe slowed his pace until he was walking beside you, his tanned arm brushing yours.
“Not so bad, right?” he asked, glancing at you with a slight grin.
You huffed. “I wouldn’t call this fun.”
“Guess you just need better company,” he replied, his voice low and teasing.
You shot him a look, but the warmth of his smile made the dirt path seem a little less annoying.
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3. Convincing You to Go Paddleboarding
“No, Sarah. I’m not getting on a paddleboard,” you said firmly, eyeing the glistening water of the cove.
Sarah grinned mischievously. “You say that like you’ve tried it before.”
“Because I don’t have to try it to know I’ll fall flat on my face,” you replied, crossing your arms.
“Not if someone’s there to help you balance,” she said casually, glancing behind you. Before you could ask what she meant, a low voice interrupted.
“Scared of water or just bad at sports?”
You turned to see Rafe leaning against the dock post, his hair tousled from the wind and a smirk tugging at his lips. He was shirtless, his tan skin catching the sun, and you suddenly found it difficult to form a response.
“I’m not scared,” you muttered, though your pulse betrayed you.
“Good,” Rafe said, stepping closer. “Because I’m not about to let you drown. Come on, I’ll even hold the board steady for you.”
Sarah nudged you with her elbow. “See? Easy solution.”
Fifteen minutes later, you were wobbling on the board, Rafe’s hands steady on your ankles. “Relax,” he said, his voice low and calm. “You’re overthinking it.”
His eyes met yours briefly, and for a moment, you forgot all about the water beneath you.
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4. Persuading You to Go for a Late-Night Drive
“I’m not getting in a car with Rafe,” you said, glaring at Sarah.
“Why not? It’s just a drive,” she replied, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
“You mean with your brother who drives like a maniac?”
Sarah rolled her eyes. “He’s not that bad. Plus, he said he’s going to the lookout, and you love it there.”
You hesitated. The lookout was your favorite spot, but…
Before you could argue further, headlights illuminated the driveway, and Rafe’s truck pulled up. He leaned out the window, his arm resting casually on the doorframe. “You coming or what?”
You glanced at Sarah, who gave you a knowing look, and reluctantly got in.
The drive was surprisingly quiet, the hum of the engine filling the space. When you reached the lookout, the stars seemed impossibly bright.
“You always this stubborn?” Rafe asked, leaning back against the hood of the truck.
“Only when I have a reason to be,” you shot back, but your tone lacked its usual bite.
“Noted,” he said, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer than necessary.
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5. Persuading You to Help Fix the Dock
“You’re kidding, right?” you said, staring at the pile of wooden planks and tools. “I don’t know the first thing about fixing a dock.”
Sarah shrugged. “Neither do I, but Rafe does. And he said he could use an extra set of hands.”
“Why don’t you help him then?” you shot back.
“I have other plans,” she said, already backing away. “But you? You’d be perfect for the job.”
Before you could argue, Rafe appeared, carrying a toolbox. He glanced between you and Sarah, his expression unreadable. “You staying to help?”
You sighed. “Apparently.”
He smirked. “Didn’t think you’d be the type to get your hands dirty.”
“I’m full of surprises,” you replied, grabbing a hammer.
As the afternoon wore on, you found yourself laughing more than you expected. Rafe’s sleeves were rolled up, sawdust clinging to his skin, and the way he occasionally glanced at you—like he was trying to figure you out—left you feeling strangely flustered.
When the dock was finally finished, he leaned against a post, watching the sunset. “Not bad for a rookie,” he said, his tone teasing but soft.
You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in his gaze made it hard to argue.
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iamasimperyk · 11 months ago
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Lonely -Rafe Cameron
Summery: Rafe finds you, a Pogue, crying at the beach.
Warnings: Fluff, Cursing, Crying, Not proof-read, English is not my first language
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader
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Part 2
Why was everyone around you in a relationship? It wasn't like you were desperate to get a boyfriend, but somehow it made you feel insecure that you didn't have one. You started to wonder why no one wanted you. Was it because you were ugly? Was it because you weren't someone who liked to go out and party? Or was it because you were too inexperienced?
You didn't want to bother any of your friends with your thoughts, and it wasn't like you had a chance to do so. Since all of them were in a relationship now, no one has time for you anymore. And that's how you found yourself crying on the beach on a Saturday night, alone.
You loved the beach and sometimes you also liked to be alone. From time to time you needed to think things through and just needed some alone time, but right now, you just wished for someone to hug you. You felt lonley and the fact that your friends and every other person on the island would be at a party right now, didn’t make things better.
Pogues and Kooks together at the Bonefire never ended good, so it was the perfect excuse not to go. At least that‘s what you told your friends. They didn‘t even question it, to busy being all lovey dovey in their relationships.
A tear rolled down your cheek as you thought about your friends. You were happy for them, but somehow you longed to feel the rush of a relationship too. You wanted to be kissed, held, and loved.
The fact that you were a little jealous of them made you even more upset. A good friend shouldn’t be jealous, but happy.
You were deep in your thoughts when a voice suddenly pulled you out of them, “Ey!”
You turned around, quickly wiping away your tears.
You couldn’t believe your eyes. The one and only Rafe Cameron were walking towards you. The last time you had seen him was on the ship, where he nearly shot you.
“Oh, look who it is.” He gave you one of his famous smirks, now standing in front of you.
“What are you doing here, Rafe?” You mumbled, not even looking at him.
Rafe caused nothing but trouble the last few months. He was the reason why the Pogues and you lost the gold. He was the reason why the Pogues and you lost the Cross. He was the reason why John B and Sarah had been missing.
“Could ask you the same question. Never saw you without your little friends.” He chuckled, sitting down next to you.
“Well, I didn’t want to attend the Bonefire, but they did.” You shrugged, looking at the sunset in front of you.
“Didn’t want to go either, too old for the shit I guess,” He sighed to which you let out a humourless laugh, “Rafe Cameron is too old to get wasted? Yeah, great joke.”
“Believe what you want, I don’t care, but at least I am not the one sitting here because my friends don’t have time for me anymore.” He hissed.
It wasn’t wrong what he said, but how did he know?
After he saw the look of confusion in your face he spoke up again, “It’s obvious that they don’t have time for you anymore. They are all dating now and you are the only single one.”
Once again, tears welled up in your eyes, but you quickly blinked them away. "Are you observing my friend group, Cameron?"
He answered without any emotion, "Do I look like someone who cares about your friend group? It's obvious you're trying too hard to get their attention."
Why didn't your friends see your efforts when even Rafe Cameron did?
“But lucky for you, out of your little group of Pogues, I tolerate you the most," He said after a few seconds.
“Hard to believe since you wanted to kill me a few months ago.” You muttered, drawing little shapes into the sand.
“Oh, come on. I didn’t want to kill you, I just had to get back what belonged to me. The cross,” He started to explain himself, “But it doesn’t matter since I am a new person now.”
“I see, and why’s that?” You raised your eyebrows.
“My dad isn’t here anymore so I am the boss now.” He told you proudly.
“And you cut your hair.” You mumbled quietly, but he heard you regardless, “Looks more mature.”
You nod, “I like it.”
“Did Y/n Y/l/n just complimented my hair?” He asked in a sarcastic tone.
You couldn’t help but laugh a little, “Why are you really here, Rafe? You saw that it was me sitting here. Why would you come anyway?”
"I left the Bonfire because it was shit, and as I was walking towards my car, I heard someone sobbing. At the Bonefire I saw your friends with my sister, but I couldn't see you. When I saw you sitting here, I knew that something was wrong," he confessed while scratching his buzzed head.
“I appreciate that you came down to talk to me, Rafe, I really do.” You smile a little at him.
It's hard to believe that someone actually came to look after you. Not just anyone, but someone who was supposed to hate you. This person had made your life a living hell for the past few months. Despite this, the last half hour has been the best you have had in a long time.
“Look I am not good with all this emotional shit, but you wanna tell me why you were crying?” He asked carefully.
“Promise me not use it against me?” You asked in the most innocent voice Rafe has ever heard.
He answered with a short ‘promise’ before you started to explain how left out you have felt the past few weeks.
As you finished explaining, tears streamed down your face while Rafe held you tightly.
“Thanks for listing, Rafe. I am sorry I ruined your night,” You wiped away your tears, your eyes puffy from all the crying.
“You haven’t ruined my night, Y/n, actually you made it a lot better. I would probably have stayed at home all alone, trying to drown my thoughts in whiskey.” He told you honestly.
"Better than listening to me whine about my friend's relationships," you said as you hiccuped.
He shook his head, "At least you feel better after telling someone your problems, and I got to hold you."
You smile up at him, “You are happy to hold me? A Pogue?”
He chucked lightly, “Who would have thought.”
“Well, I also didn’t imagine myself at the beach, lying in the arms of a Kook.” After those words left your mouth there was silence.
The two of you were staring at each other until Rafe leaned down. You closed your eyes, your lips were nearly touching when someone called out your name.
“Y/n, is that you?”
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maybankcore · 11 months ago
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◟ヾ jj maybanks reckless girlfriend .
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crazy. carefree. and an even more of a kleptomaniac then jj. hard drugs by 12 am and sober by 8, rolls a meannn blunt and smells like nicotine and cherries. see-through tops with a black laced bra peaking out, stuffed with rolled up tenners (its usage being very important), durex condoms, and jj stuffing shit in them instead of using his own pockets. low rise baggy jeans – that show her slutty tattoo on her lower back – with stolen steve madden platforms. smudged eyeliner and heaps of mascara coating her eyelashes, with a red lipped look – which, after visiting jj, is also smudged. yelling, fighting, and putting snotty kooks in their places is her all time favorite hobby. had potentially made out with kie when stoned but never regretted it. oh, and she always has the meanest resting bitch face.
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featherandferns · 2 years ago
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F.W.B. (fic)
jj maybank x fem!reader
content warning: drug use; sex (protected; oral; p in v)
word count: 9k (o god)
blurb: friends with benefits (phrase) - a friend with whom one has an occasional and casual sexual relationship; no feelings attached.
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The first time it happened, it was after a kegger.
Sunset had turned dusk on the beach. There had been the vague smell of smoke from the bonfire, sticking to everyone’s clothes, and beer, liquor and marijuana. Cigarettes and cider. The Boneyard was a free for all: Kooks and Pogues and tourists alike. If you wanted to let lose, maybe have a dance and shotgun a few beers, then you could. If you want to catch-up with your friends, make the most of the summer, then you could. And if you wanted a quick hook-up, be it a fling or otherwise, you could. That was usually the way JJ leaned. It seemed tonight, you had leaned that way too. That was how you had ended up in bed with him.
Now, you balanced on one leg, leaning against his door for support, wrestling on your trainer. You were already dressed.
JJ was watching you from the bed.
“You do this a lot?”
You frowned and looked up from your foot.
“What?”
“Like, do you hook up with people a lot?”
“Why would you ask me that?” you asked, somewhere between offended and confused.
“Just making conversation,” he shrugged.
JJ leant over to grab papers and bud from his bedside table, preparing to roll. His arms flexed when he did. It was already hard to remember how they felt wrapped around you; pulling you closer, tugging you nearer.
“Making conversation by asking if I’m a whore?”
“Woah!” he laughed, meeting your gaze again, wide eyed. “I never said whore!”
“What else could you mean?” you say, going back to tying your shoelaces.
“Just wondering,” he mumbled. When you looked back over, he was concentrating on laying the bud evenly in the papers. Sighing, you stood back on two feet.
“How about you?”
JJ looked up again, brows furrowed in question.
You held back your smirk, putting on an overly sweet, gushing voice as you went, “I bet you get like so many girls, JJ. Oh my God.”
“Alright,” he chuckled, going back to his rolling. “Touché.”
“That’s what I thought,” you grinned.
It was still dark outside. The crickets and owls made a symphony of the banks. Mosquitos hovered around the lamp that was on, having snuck in through the cracked open window. There wasn’t anybody else at the place. You’d followed JJ back to what you assumed was his house about an hour and a half into the kegger. Sighing, you glanced around the room and debated whether to head straight home or go back to the kegger. People would still be hanging around: it wasn’t too late. JJ hadn’t offered for you to stay over and you hadn’t suggested it. You knew that that wasn’t how these things worked. You didn’t mind that.
“You want a hit?” JJ asked, holding up the now finished joint.
You considered him a moment. Bare torso, abs proudly on display, basking in the orange hue from the bedside lamp. Hair messy and damp with sweat from the forehead, which still held a sheen like a freshly waxed board.
“Sure,” you shrugged, taking perch on the foot of the bed.
Crossing one leg under the other, you watched as he lit up and took a long drag. Taking it from him, you did the same, the vapour gently dissipating before your eyes. The smell consumed your senses, the drug slowly taking effect, mellowing you out. Handing it back, you rested back on your arms and took in his room.
“Where’re your parents?”
“Huh?”
“How come you got the place to yourself?” you wondered, looking back to him.
“I don’t. Not really. It’s my friend John B’s place,” JJ said. “I’m just crashing here.”
“John B…John B…Why do I know that name?”
“He goes to the same school as us,” JJ told you. That was something you’d come to learn when you first started talking to him, earlier that night. Gesturing with his free hand to his hair, he added, “brown hair? Kinda long?”
A picture came to mind, of someone you vaguely remembered from one of your classes. The name seemed to match the face well. Angular face and sharp cheekbones. Tanned skin and the strange memory of a bandana, always attached to him one way or another. You nodded.
“Ah, yeah. I remember.”
“We’ve mostly been hanging out here for the summer,” JJ said, taking another hit.
“Doing what?”
“Surfing. Fishing. Odd jobs to fund the necessities.”
With the latter sentence, he smirked and held up the joint. You smiled back.
“So, I’m taking you as a live-by-the-moment sort of guy?”
“I don’t know,” JJ thought. He studied the joint a moment. “I guess I am, yeah. Like a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda guy, I reckon.”
“Ah,” you hummed. When he offered the joint, you gladly accepted, taking another hit.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you a planner?” he wondered.
You took one more hit and handed back the joint. It felt strange, how easy it was to make conversation, and light conversation at that, as if half an hour ago you weren’t as close as two people can get. You didn’t much mind, though.
“Maybe,” you said.
JJ laughed, shifting further up the headboard and messing with his hair. “You always this secretive?”
Giving a small laugh, you shrugged and sighed. “Maybe…”
“Well, I like girls with a bit of mystery,” JJ grinned suggestively.
You chuckled at that. Getting to your feet, heading to his bedroom door, you replied, “don’t get your hopes up, Maybank. I’m not much for commitment.”
“Hell, neither am I,” JJ agreed, almost joyously. He tipped his joint to you as if he were a Victorian gentleman, tipping his hat in farewell. “But I have a feeling I’m gonna see you around.”
Something about that made you pause. You raised a brow as if in challenge. “Oh, you do?”
“Mhm,” he grinned cheekily, tongue pressing against his cheek.
The way he sat, half naked, confident in his skin and his charm: there are few people who hold that sort of aura around them. Noticing this, you began to smirk, eyes narrowing in something akin to suspicion.
“You’re a player, aren’t you? I bet you’ve got hoes.”
JJ chuckled, shaking his head. “You don’t know me like that.”
“Maybe not,” you said, walking towards him again. “But I know guys like you. Yeah, you like the chase. The feeling of getting someone to fall for you, to be weak for you. The thrill it gives.”
“You psychoanalysing me or something, sweetheart?”
“Wouldn’t be much to note,” you replied easily.
“Why don’t you try me on out? I know you wanna be friends,” JJ boldly said.
Licking your lips, you bit back your smile. Hands on your waist, you rocked on your feet in thought. The weed was giving your brain a nice buzz. Paired with the beer from the kegger (that had mostly worn off), it was a pleasant thrum running through your body.
You sighed, as if he’d twisted your arm and glanced around for a pen. When you found one (abandoned on the desk) you walked over to him and began to write on his forearm. He seemed taken off guard at first, before shamelessly looking down your top as you leant over him. You didn’t mind. It wasn’t like there was anything to hide now.
“You didn’t get a good enough look earlier or something?” you mumbled. You clocked his grin in your peripheral.
“If only I could take a picture. Think it’d last longer.”
“In your dreams, Maybank.”
“Every Goddamn night,” he smirked.
You’d be lying if that didn’t stir your stomach in the most delectable of ways. There was a reason why you’d ended up in his bed and not somebody else’s.
Finishing off the last digit, you capped the pen and placed it on his bedside table. Then, you stole the forgotten joint from his fingers and helped yourself to a drag. He watched you, mild surprise written on his face, and then full-on shock as you grabbed his jaw, fingers somewhat firm as you guided his mouth to yours. Exhaling into his mouth, messily falling into a kiss, you smiled as you felt his body go slightly slack under you.
He wasn’t the only one who liked making people feel weak.
Pulling away, you smiled down at him. His lips were still parted, wet from your spit. The image of it stirred something inside you.
“Text me, if you wanna prove me wrong,” you challenged lightly. With that, you gently patted his face, turned and left his bedroom.
You closed the door behind you, leaning against it a moment as you caught up with yourself. 
The smell of weed was weaker out in the hallway. It was also darker, with no moonlight flitting through any windows. Instead, wooden walls, adorned with picture frames. You took the time to passingly inspect them as you went to leave. An older man (bearded and broad) with glasses, and a woman with pale skin and dark, nearly black hair. Another of a man fishing. Several of who you could now confirm was John B, some of which JJ appeared in, alongside a brunette girl and dark-skinned boy. One photo of this consistent gang made you smile. Arms looped over one another’s shoulders, hair wet and body littered with water droplets that twinkled under the sun and camera flash like glitter. Dopey smiles on all their faces. Maybe around thirteen or fourteen. For some reason, the picture stuck around in your head as you left the house, starting your walk home.
The second time it happened, it was after midnight.
“Is this seriously a booty call text?”
JJ was leaning against the doorframe of the porch’s netted fencing. Looking down at you, as you stood at the bottom of the stairs, he glanced at your upheld phone, open on his text message. Your conversation thread was phenomenally short. Impressively short.
You up?
Who is this?
The best sex you’ve ever had.
“Knew it,” he grinned.
You frowned, befuddled. “What?”
“I’m the best sex you’ve ever had,” he sighed casually, stretching his arms out. You finally caught on and immediately rolled your eyes.
“Seriously?”
“How else would you know to come here?”
JJ’s eyes scanned your body, head to toe, then back again. You felt a zip run down your spine, but you didn’t want him to think he was winning. You wanted to hold onto your dignity for a little longer.
“There’s only one person who I’ve hooked up with who’s shameless enough to send a ‘you up’ text,” you told him, beginning up the stairs. “It was pretty easy to figure it was you.”
JJ rolled his eyes and started down the few steps to meet you halfway. Standing over you, blue eyes staring down, he gnawed on his lower lip, slowly letting his smirk shine through.
“Well, it worked. That’s good enough for me.”
His lips on yours was now somewhat familiar. You had a sense for how he kissed. Strong at first, all consuming, and then tender as if he were pulling back, easing off. Then stronger again, possessive even. It was captivating and confusing and messy. When his hands traced around your waist, lower over your ass, cupping just beneath to let his fingers sink into the skin of your thighs, just light enough to avoid bruising, you felt yourself melt into him. Arms looping around his shoulders, tethering around his neck as if threatening to strangle. Grunts and moans and heavy breathing as it all become shamelessly obscene. JJ stumbled up the stairs, tugging you with him, and eventually the two of you were on the porch. He seemed to have a vague idea of where to bring you because soon he was tumbling backwards onto a sofa, and you were being pulled down on top. You chuckled, somewhat breathless, against his lips.
You fingers found his hands that had come up to your waist, scratching at your skin, teasing at your t-shirt. Looping your fingers into his, interlocking them sweetly, you didn’t pull away from the kiss. Not until you took your strength to push his arms above his head, holding them down. You moved to better straddle him, feeling him against your thigh, hard through his shorts.
When he opened his eyes, he looked intoxicated and spent. Wet, swollen lips. Pink cheeked. Muscles straining as you held his arms down. You knew he had the strength to push you off, to break free from your hold, but something about the fact that he hadn’t, that he wasn’t, turned you on even more. The thought made you grind back against him, and you relished in his groan.
“Fuck,” he sighed, closing his eyes.
Leaning down again, your lips found the nape of his neck. It began with kisses. Light and sweet, like a child planting dainty pecks on flower petals. Then, you slowly, sensually, and ever so softly, dragged your teeth against the skin. You felt him inhale sharply beneath you. The way the muscle running up his neck tightened, was as if he’d clenched his jaw. You smirked. Working on a hickey or two, you let him free his hands, body almost sighing in relief as he began to touch you again. Your ass, your waist, your legs. Lasciviously coming to your chest, thumbs circling the underside of your breasts. Dragging over your nipples, sensitive through the thin cotton. You moaned against his skin, feeling yourself clench. This was good.
“You wanna take this off for me, pretty girl?”
“You want me to?” you ask back.
“Why’s everything a challenge with you, huh?”
You could hear the grin in his voice, crooning and sensual. Something right out of a fantasy. You leaned back, sitting back on his waist. As you pulled off your top, his hands came to rest on your waist, fingers skimming the skin patiently. Once off, and tossed to the side, you bit your lip as if pretending to suppress your smile, watching as he took you in. You’d once been insecure of your body, the way any girl had, but you felt unashamed to admit that after sleeping with your first boyfriend, that fear went away. They didn’t care what shape you were or what size. The poor suckers are just so glad to be in a position where a girl is willing to sleep with them, that they have no complaints.
That said, the way JJ took you in, hands carefully inching up your body as if teasing you, cupping your tits with just enough pressure to make you sigh, head starting to tilt back to the sky…You felt like the prettiest girl on the planet.
“Jesus Christ, thank God for that kegger,” he mumbled as if in a daze.
You laughed, shaking your head, and then leant down to kiss him again.
From there, no more time was wasted. His shirt joined yours, somewhere on the porch floor, and as the susurrus of the late night-early morning wind rattled the netting, making some wind chimes attached to a far tree sing-out hauntingly, you ended up on your knees on the porch floor between JJ’s parted legs.
The grin that came to JJ’s face when his brain catches up is enough to light up the night sky. But as you go to finish tugging off his boxers, he suddenly sits up.
“Wait.”
Your hands halt on the waistband, eyes flashing up in concern. He’s glancing around, bare chest rising and falling a little more than natural, out of breath from the antics. Then, he’s handing you a couch cushion that he’d somehow found. You take it slowly, confused.
“For your knees,” he explained, nodding down.
You followed his line of gaze and do as he suggested, shifting yourself so your legs were no longer on the splintering floor. It wasn’t that you’d been particularly uncomfortable before, but it certainly felt nicer. There was something weirdly sweet about it and it made you smile.
As if in thanks, you planted a kiss to JJ’s bare inner thigh. Then another, and another, closer and closer. His boxers join the pile and you take your sweet time going down on him.
On the fifth time, it was tryst.
It was a humid night. The air felt thick with moisture, as if warning of rain tomorrow, and you felt like in the chateau it was ten-fold worse. The sex in the air probably didn’t help the clammy feeling that came over you. JJ seemed to notice your discomfort because, once you were clad in your underwear again, he proposed the two of you go outside for a bit.
On the grass outside was a bench, a little old and wobbly. JJ tossed some couch cushions and blankets your way from the porch, and you barely caught them, chuckling. Once the bench was a little comfier, the two of you settled on either end. JJ pulled out a joint, as per tradition, and lit up. The two of you passed it back and forth, telling dumb jokes and proposing dumber philosophies. The conversation eventually died down, as did the craving for weed, and you stretched out your legs onto JJ’s lap, lolling your head back to look at the stars.
The weed made you feel lax and mushy, and you watched as the sky stretched on for miles. Constellations appeared from thin air, twinkles so dainty and brilliant that it put you in a trance. You vaguely registered JJ lifting your right arm, guiding your fingers to his lips. He pressed kisses against them, one by one, and then to your palm. It’s this that caught your attention; your eyes flitting down from the sky to find his already watching you. Against your leg, you feel him harden slightly under his shorts. A part of you considers teasing him about it and cracking a joke, but the thought gets pushed aside. Instead, you shift so he can climb atop. He kissed up your tummy, over your bra covered chest, up your neck, leaving a hickey. You sigh and go pliant like soft clay. Your hands seemed to find home in his hair and you gently rake your fingers through the messy blonde locks. Kisses to your jaw. Cheek. Earlobe. Lips. Then the two of you are making out. It’s different than the other times; there’s no rush to it and no definitive place it will lead to. There just is.
When you eventually broke apart, JJ rested his head on your chest. Your fingers find home in his hair once more, teasing through some nots, beginning to braid some longer strands together. For some reason, you want to ask him why he is always at John B’s house, and never his. You want a real answer. But you don’t. You know it isn’t the time and he won’t tell you. What should it matter anyway? You’re just hooking up. You preferred it that way.
Commitment wasn’t something that came easy to you. There wasn’t anybody to blame, necessarily. Your parents were fine enough and no ex had severely scarred you enough to traumatise you from another relationship. But those relationships had never lasted long. They’d been built on rocky foundations and delipidated rather easily. Maybe that was what put you off. The feeling that it didn’t matter; that it would all end anyway, with their face becoming another blur in the crowd, and their voice a laugh which could be recognised anywhere. That you’d end up alone, and you never understood why.
“What’s your favourite colour?” you asked JJ, trying to find an end to your thought spiel.
“Blue, I think,” he said against you. “Like the water. Kinda mossy blue?”
“Aquamarine?”
“That’s such a dumb word,” JJ sighed. You chuckled.
“Okay, so not aquamarine. How about turquoise?”
“Just blue,” JJ told you. “A very specific blue.”
“Okay, JJ,” you chuckled gently and began to undo one of the braids you’d made.
“What about you?”
“Green,” you say.
“What kind?”
“Forest green. Like…deep, cosy green,” you explained. JJ hummed as if he could picture the colour.
“Nice choice.”
“Why thank you.”
The two of you fell back into silence again, save for the common sounds of the banks. It’s the softest you’ve ever been with one another. Usually, the moment never strayed from sex and flirting. Sometimes the odd word passed back and forth as you got dressed or shared a joint. This was different. You liked it.
“What do you do for fun?” JJ asked.
“I box,” you reply.
“You box?”
“Mhm. I’m on the team at school. Been keeping practise up at the gym throughout the summer,” you say.
JJ shifts so he’s sitting up, and he meets your eyes. “Seriously?”
“Yes,” you laughed. “Why is that so hard for you to believe?”
“I dunno,” he said, chuckling a little. “I just had you pegged as a volleyball girl or some shit.”
“Like a tennis girly? With the little skirts and all?”
“You wouldn’t hear me complaining,” JJ couldn’t help but grin, laughing when you shove at his face. “Seriously, though. What kind of boxing?”
“Competitive,” you shrugged.
His eyes look pretty in the moonlight. You’d never really noticed before. It’s then that you realised you’d never properly seen him in daylight or spent time with him when it wasn’t night or dark.
“You on the team, d’you say?”
“Mhm. Second best.”
“Who’s first?”
“This bitch Samantha,” you muttered, making JJ laugh. “It’s not the best team but coach says he might be able to put me up for a scholarship or something.”
“You smart?”
You snorted. “God no. Thick as shit. But, if I can get into college on a scholarship, then it could be my ticket out of this shit hole.”
“You mean you wanna leave this paradise?” JJ joked, gesturing to the water. The falling-apart jetty and the horizon that had yet to warn of morning.
“Paradise on earth,” you mumbled the infamous tagline of the sign.
Sighing, you laid back down. JJ seemed to agree, resting on your stomach, legs tangled with yours.
You’re not sure when you fall asleep, but you know that when you woke up, JJ’s comforting pressure wasn’t on you anymore. When you woke up, you were outside of the chateau, blinking against the morning sun, alone.
By the seventh time, it was a pattern.
It felt like you were seeing flashes of colour.
Clenching your eyes shut, your mouth was hanging open in silent, insurmountable pleasure. You hopelessly grasped around for some kind of purchase: the sheets, the headboard…You feel your hand being guided to someone’s head, and with that you knot your fingers through JJ’s hair. He groans at the pull. Blue. Somewhere inside of your empty lungs you find a moan, falling past your lips. It only spurs him on. Digging your heels into the skin of his back, just below his shoulder blades, you somehow drive him closer. Green. It’s not enough for him to be going down on you. It wouldn’t even be enough to have him in you. You need him in your veins, in your head, passing through every synapse and invading every molecule. You just need him, him, him.
Red.
When you come, it’s with a shuddering, hopeless, sigh of his name. One of his hands comes to splay across your stomach and hip bone, as if you had begun to lift off the bed and he was guiding you back down. The moans turn to whines and whimpers, lips trembling from the afterglow. Eventually, as your thoughts begin to come back to your head, you let out a small laugh, face burning hot. Lifting one hand to rub at your forehead, raking back your hair, you will your eyes open.
“Fuck,” you sigh through a chuckle.
Looking down, you see JJ falling back on his haunches, chest heaving as if he’d ran a marathon. As if he’d been the one being eaten out. The sight of him, wet lips and damp chin, a cocky grin gradually coming through, it makes you clench around nothing, driving your teeth into your lower lip. You coax him down to you by extending out your arm, smiling against the kiss, moaning quietly at the taste of yourself on his lips.
“Best you’ve ever had?” he asks against your mouth, barely pulling back.
You swat his face away with a tired laugh.
Since that second night, he’d made a habit of asking you it every time. You’d made a habit in doing anything but to tell him the truth: that yes, he was. Nobody needed a JJ with an ego that big, not even you.
“You got some water or something?” you ask him quietly, flopping against the pillows.
“Sure,” JJ says, getting up.
The bed shifts as he walks away. There’s the faint sound of a tap running from another room. You smile to yourself and close your eyes, sighing. The bed dipping with his weight tells you he’s back, and JJ helps you sit up, handing you the glass.
“Thanks,” you mumble before taking several long gulps. When you’re done downing the water, you look to see JJ holding out a t-shirt for you. You chuckle and take it.
“I gotta pee real quick,” you say, routine as always.
He nods and watches as you get up from the bed, pulling on the t-shirt. It’s his, of course. Says something about Kildare County on the back: proud to be from the homeland. You make the familiar route to the bathroom of the chateau. As you go, you make sure to keep the t-shirt tugged down over your modesty. You and JJ had made a habit of you leaving the bedroom in clothes after the infamous run in with John B. Whoops.
Once done, you wash your hands and brave a glance in the mirror. The sight makes you want to laugh. Hair a mess – unruly and untamed – and some leftover mascara smudged under your lower lash line. Swollen lips, rosy cheeked, the beginnings of a love bite already forming on your neck. You want to laugh as a thought comes to your mind: you look like some common whore. Running the water and digging about in the cupboards, you wet your face and hair, finding a random comb and trying to tame some of the tangles. It’s a little better.
When you leave and head back to JJ’s self-proclaimed bedroom, he’s sat atop of the sheets of the bed, rolling a joint. Now wearing boxers, he sits lent against the headboard, one leg bent and the other extended out leisurely.
Sighing, you collapse in a heap at the foot of the bed. You feel him prod at your waist and you bat him away.
“You good?”
“Mhm.”
“How good?”
“Stop.”
“I’ll just keep asking.”
“I’m not gonna tell you you’re good in bed,” you say to the ceiling. JJ snorts.
“Why not?”
“Cause.”
“Cause?”
“Cause it’ll go to your head,” you tell him. You don’t hear a rebuttal (because he knows you’re right). You turn your head so you can watch him. He lifts the paper to his lips and licks it, sealing it shut. “Sides. I feel like it goes without saying.”
“What does?” JJ asks, now searching for his lighter in the mess that is his bedside table.
“You know what.”
The blank look JJ sends you your way tells you no, he does not. Sighing, you clarify. “The fact that I keep hooking up with you. That speaks for itself.”
When the penny finally drops, JJ’s face twists into the most cocky, proud grin you’ve ever seen, and you immediately want to take it back. You tell him this with a groan, tossing your head back, but he’s laughing and basking in the indirect comment you’ve just given him. The comment that he’s pretty God damn good in bed, to have you falling back in it so many times.
“How come you never ask if you’re any good?” JJ wonders. The flick of a lighter tells you that he found one.
“Cause I know I’m good,” you simply say. “And the fact that you keep inviting me to hook up with you also speaks for itself.”
“Can’t argue with that,” JJ mumbles.
You smell the marijuana the moment he takes a drag. Sweet and crisp and only slightly overwhelming. Leaning down with a groan, you begin to lazily search around for your shorts on the floor. Eventually, somehow, you find them, and from the pocket you dig out your cigarettes. You steal the lighter JJ had used from the quilt and light up, lying on your back once more.
“You shouldn’t smoke those, you know?”
You open one eye and look at him. Exhaling out a breath of smoke, you ask, “are you seriously telling me not to smoke whilst you smoke?”
“Cigs, I mean. Gives you cancer.”
“I’ll be sure to tell the government,” you mumble, taking another drag.
“I’m serious. That shit is gonna kill you.”
You sort of smiled. Opening both eyes now, you take in JJ’s expression. You felt as if you knew him well enough to read his face. Something like concern lingered behind his relaxed demeanour. Sitting up, leaning towards him, you took another drag and exhaled it in his face.
“Well, now you’re gonna die too,” you grin.
JJ wafts it away and shakes his head at you. His smile tells you that he’s not offended. “It’s a good thing you’re hot.”
“Is that all I’m good for?” you fake gasp, hand coming to your chest.
“Wait, I thought that what’s all women were good for? Are you telling me women can do more than just be hot?” JJ plays along, gaping in mock horror.
You chuckle and break the charade. Pulling your knees to your chest, you continue to smoke, as does JJ. The floor is a mess. Piles of clothes – some yours and some his – mixed with shoes and hats and abandoned pairs of swimming trunks, probably still damp as he hadn’t hung them out to dry. Scattered around the room was empty cans and bottles. An empty box of condoms in the paper bin. As they catch your eye, a question comes to you.
“Are we exclusive?”
At first you wonder if JJ even heard you, as he doesn’t reply for a while. When you look over to see if he was off in his own thoughts, he’s watching you, as if you were the one who was supposed to answer.
“I don’t know,” he says noncommittedly.
“Okay, lemme ask it another way,” you mumble, putting out your cigarette on the windowsill ash tray. “Have you slept with anyone apart from me since we started hooking up?”
JJ looks away and out the window, as if he doesn’t want to answer. His jaw clicks tighter. You frown. Things suddenly feel tense, awkward even. It never had been that way between the two of you, not even after the first time you fooled around.
“Jayj?”
“Have you?”
When he asks, he’s looking you in the eyes again. There’s a bite to his words as if he’s proposing a challenge. But you’re not shy to talk about it.
“No,” you shrug. “No point, really.”
“No point?”
“Like, you’re not…terrible,” you eventually settle on, careful to avoid boosting his ego more than you already had that night. “And it’s easy.”
“Easy?”
“Are you gonna repeat everything I say?” you wonder sardonically, quirking a brow.
“Why’re you asking me this?”
“Just wondering,” you say, becoming uncomfortable as his tone seems to harden more and more. “Thought we should know who each other’s seeing and stuff.”
“Why? We use protection, it’s not like there’s any point,” JJ practically grumbles.
“Jesus Christ, it really isn’t that deep,” you half-laugh. You start to wish you hadn’t put out your cigarette.
“It’s not like you’re special or anything.”
And okay, ouch. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We’re just fucking. You’re good in bed. That’s it,” JJ tells you in an even tone.
You stare at him, waiting for the punchline; waiting for this cold façade to break. It doesn’t. He holds your gaze, unfaltering.
“Seriously?” you ask, voice weaker than you want it to be.
JJ doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes one last hit of his joint before putting it out. Then he’s standing up from the bed.
“It’s late,” he says, looking around his floor. He finds a t-shirt (gives it a sniff and seems to think it’s clean enough) and pulls it on. Then he’s searching again, and you watch as he digs out your clothes, holding them out to you. It takes you a moment to catch on.
“Are you serious?”
JJ shrugs. “It’s late, is all. Not like you were gonna stay over anyway.”
Any humour is gone. You knew you weren’t going to sleep over; you’d only done that once on accident. That wasn’t what offended you. It was the way JJ had gone about it, like you were some nameless chick in his bed who he needed to sneak out before his parents came home…It made you feel dirty. It made you feel used.
Snatching the clothes from him, you get up and begin to change. JJ doesn’t watch. Instead, he kicks about things on his floor in some attempt of tidying. When you’re back in your own clothes, his t-shirt now in your hand, you make a point to toss it on the bed.
“Fuck you, JJ,” you mumble, heading to his bedroom door.
“What?”
“I said fuck you.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” JJ snaps, glaring at you.
Something akin to a laugh comes from your mouth, but there’s a bitterness to your tone. “When you’re man enough to talk, lemme know.”
“Get out of my room,” JJ darkly says.
You shake your head. With a scoff, you tell him, “gladly”, and then you walk out of his room. The tears don’t come until you’re outside the house, as if the sting of the wind sobers you up to the situation.
For the eighth time, it was making up.
The house party some random Pogue had thrown was in full swing. Some Kooks had caught wind, naturally, and decided to join the festivities. For the most part, it was Pogues, with the odd, innocent tourist mixed amongst the lot. JJ liked it that way. He felt like he was amongst his people; could let his guard down more.
Kiara was sat outside on a porch swing with Pope, the two seemingly in light conversation. JJ wandered over with a beer in hand and snuck up behind the dark-haired girl. He grinned to himself as he suddenly grabbed her shoulder, shouting in her ear. She let out a yelp, swatting at him as he started laughing. Pope rolled his eyes, also a little spooked, and JJ gave a half-hearted apology through his laughs. He sat between the pair on the swing, encouraging it to rock with his heels dug into the dirt.
“How many are you on?” Pope asked, nodding down to the can.
JJ shrugged. “Who cares? It’s a party.”
“So this has nothing to do with you and your lover having trouble in paradise?” Kie wondered, voice teasing.
JJ rolled his eyes and took a swig. “She’s not my ‘lover’.”
“Hook-up?”
“Bed-pal?”
“Friends with benefits?”
“Alright, alright,” JJ groaned, waving away their synonyms. “Hilarious, guys.”
“What happened with that? I thought you two were hitting it off,” Pope said soberly.
“We were, I guess,” JJ admitted. He looked out to the garden with a sigh and then took another drink. “Doesn’t matter, though. It’s done now.”
“Done?”
“The ‘best sex you’ve ever had’ is just done?” Kie checked.
“Yep,” JJ said, flashing her what he hoped was an unbothered grin. He held up his can as if in cheers. “Use them and lose them, is what I say.”
“JJ—”
“No commitment, no sha-mittment.”
“Wise words, Aristotle,” Pope mumbled.
JJ finished his can in several large gulps and crushed it beneath his grip.
“Need a refill,” he announced. He staggered to his feet, swaying when he stood. He could see Kie’s concerned gaze from his peripheral and pointed at her - just. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I’ll be sure to have the ambulance on standby,” Pope assured sarcastically, watching JJ walk away. He kindly flipped them off as he went.
“Assholes,” he muttered to himself.
The world was dragging, taking too long to catch up with him, and he struggled to find the kitchen. Had someone moved it? What the hell?
When he found himself in a hallway which he hadn’t yet been in, JJ knew he was both lost and hammered. Whoops.
“JJ?”
He spun around, blinking slowly and rapidly, all at once.
It was you, stood in a sundress, worn down with a grey zipper cardigan and trainers. You frowned at him.
“What’re you doing here?” he asked.
“How much have you had?”
“Just a couple,” JJ said, shrugging. “What’s it to you?”
“It…isn’t,” you say, looking off.
JJ suddenly panics - scared you’re going to walk away - and he finds himself grabbing for your wrist. You make a move as if you’re going to take it from his grip, but then you don’t. He aimlessly guides you into a quieter room, where the music isn’t so blaring and the chatter of others doesn’t bounce of the walls. It happens to be a bathroom.
He locks the door and spins around, immediately feeling green.
“You okay?” you tentatively ask.
JJ nods, but that only makes it worse, and in a matter of seconds he’s darting for the toilet.
There’s something so wonderfully humiliating about throwing up.
“It’s alright,” you say, rubbing his back. He feels the weight of your hand move up and down against his damp t-shirt. JJ cringes into the toilet. So. Embarrassing.
“Sorry,” he gasps, preparing for more to come.
“You don’t gotta be sorry,” you mumble.
He hears you shift around and notices as you sit down, back against the wall. You’ve taken your hand from his back and instead have placed it in his hair, rubbing his scalp soothingly.
“Feel better?”
“Maybe,” he sighs. You nod and lift your arm to flush the toilet.
After a few more bouts of vomit, JJ’s sure there’s nothing left. He leans his cheek against the seat of the toilet, the porcelain cold on his skin, and watches as you get up and head to the sink. You find an abandoned solo cup and rinse it out, filling it with water and offering it to him.
“Here,” you say. He drinks.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to help.”
“Sure I did. If you died, I would’ve been the last person to see you alive,” you tell him, making him laugh.
“Nice to know your heart’s in the right place.”
“You don’t sound so drunk now,” you say.
“Thanks,” he repeats, less grateful.
He sighs and sits up, leaning against the bathroom wall. The room’s spinning less. His ears aren’t rining as badly. There are the remnants of booze blurring the lines between what he wants to say and what he doesn’t.
Someone tries the door and you yell at them to leave. JJ’s never heard you yell before. It sounds unnatural.
“I’m sorry for the other night.”
His eyes shoot open.
Looking to you, wondering if he misheard, he finds you’re already watching him. You’re fiddling with your knuckles, picking at some scabbing, probably the aftermath of training. He still can’t wrap his head around the fact that you box. You’ve always had an edge to you but picturing you fighting someone…The thought was sexy as hell, he was unashamed to admit.
“I’m sorry,” you repeat, as if worried he hadn’t heard, and he comes back to reality.
“About what?”
“About the other night. About asking if we’re exclusive. Like you even owe me that sort of explanation,” you say. “We had a good thing going. It worked for both of us, and I messed it up.”
JJ doesn’t say anything. You sigh, taking his silence as space to continue, and you look down to watch your handiwork as you go on.
“I’m not great at relationships. I mean, I don’t think I am. Every single one that I’ve been in ends up in flames, so…Not the best track record.”
JJ watches as you sigh again, tossing your head back to stare at the ceiling. Your throat is empty of love bites and it looks foreign.
“I try my best in them. Try to be the good girlfriend. Fun and unassuming and pretty and funny. Present and thoughtful. I think I’m doing a good job, and then…Boom. Another one in the shitter. Guess I’m just the common denominator.”
“Denominator?”
“I’m the common thread,” you clarify, looking to him again. You shrug. “But, all cards on the table, I felt like I didn’t have to try with you. I never felt like I was needing to put on a show or think about things as much. Maybe it was because we were only hooking up, but there was never any pressure to be the better version of me. Maybe there is no better version of me. Maybe I just…am.”
JJ stares at you for a minute and you seem to hear back what you’ve said, cause then you’re cupping your face and laughing, embarrassed.
“God, that was so cringey,” you chuckle beratingly. “I promise I’m not high.”
“It wasn’t cringey,” JJ tells you.
Your laughter dies down. You don’t make a move to remove your face from your hands, though. It’s easier for JJ that way, to tell you the truth without having you watch him. If you can lay all your cards out, then so can he. Thank God for vodka, he thinks.
“My mum and dad weren’t the best role models,” JJ admits, clearing his throat. It feels raw after throwing up. “She dipped and my dad’s…a mess. It’s a lot and I won’t bore you with it all but…I just don’t do well with relationships. I barely do well with friendships. Half the time I wonder why my friends hang around with me, and the other half I spend wondering when they’re gonna leave. When they’re gonna realise that I’m nothing special, or important.”
“JJ,” you whisper, going to lift your head. JJ panics and dumbly shoves your face back into your palms. You let out a bark of laughter, and then start nodding as if in understanding. “Okay. Go on.”
JJ takes a breath, removing his hand from your hair.
“I hook-up with people cause it’s easy and there’s no strings and all that crap, and it makes me feel good. But you’re different to the other people I’ve slept with. You’re funny and witty and would say these really nice things out of the blue. You’d do nice things, too. Like when you made me mac and cheese one time after we’d fooled around cause I said I’d been craving it for days. Nobody’s ever really done anything like that for me. I wasn’t sure how to react.”
Here it comes – crawling up his throat. The thing he was terrified to admit. The thing he was so scared to tell you, that he threw whatever thing you had going down the drain, and then apparently let you believe that it was you that steered them off the road.
“We were exclusive. I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else when I was with you.”
JJ doesn’t give you time to react or respond. The words are falling out of him now.
“I didn’t want to leave, and I didn’t want you to leave, and it freaked me out cause I’ve never felt like that with a girl before. All my God damn thoughts were about you, like I was brainwashed. Fuck – they still are! It’s like I wake up and think about it. Think about what you’re doing and where you are. Think about getting you off. Think about how you looked when I told you to leave. How fucking scummy that was of me.
But I got scared. I got scared when you asked me cause it meant we’d have to actually acknowledge that there was something more there, and that things would change, and that terrifies the shit out of me because when things change, it’s usually for the worst. You’d see the real me and my life and learn about all my shit, and you’ll see that I’m nothing good. And I just start thinking about when it’s gonna end. How I’m gonna mess it up, cause I always do.”
He catches his breath. The words hang heavy in the air. JJ stares at you. You still have your face in your hands.
He leans back against the wall and looks down at his fingers, twisting some of his rings. He slowly lets out a breath, pressing his eyes shut.
“Sorry. That was a lot.”
Idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
“Can I look up now?”
JJ can’t help but laugh. Looking to you, he quietly tells you, “Yes, you can look up now.”
When you do, JJ immediately spots the tears on your cheeks. His heart clenches. It’s a new feeling. Strange and unpleasant, though not for the reasons he thought it would be.  
“Not everyone leaves, JJ,” you say, wiping your face.
He shrugs.
“I mean it,” you affirm. He sees when an idea comes to mind, your beautiful face lighting up. “There’s this song I like. I guess it’s spoken poetry. It’s called Sunscreen. In the song, the guy says something. He says, ‘accept that some friends will come and go, but hold on to a precious few.’”
JJ frowns, unsure where you’re heading.
“And whilst I agree that you yourself have to hold on, there’s also the other person holding on for you. Sticking their feet in and telling you that they’re not gonna leave when things get just a bit tough. I mean, I feel like you and John B have been friends for ages. One of the pictures in the chateau is of you guys really young.”
“Since the third grade,” JJ quietly says.
Smiling back, you take a breath then say, “I can’t promise you that everyone’ll stay, but I can promise you that I want to. I want to stay, with you. I want to know all the ugly things and I want you to know the ugly things about me. Nobody’s whole and nobody’s perfect, and everybody’s shit scared of opening themselves up because the moment you do, you can get hurt. But sometimes to live, I think you’ve gotta get a bit hurt. So, I want to stay, but only if you want to me to.”
JJ slowly began to smile.
He did. He wanted you to stay. He wanted you to meet his friends and to watch him surf. He wanted to have you stay over and have the balls to be there when you woke up. He wanted to see you in the morning, eating breakfast, and after sex, spent and tired. He wanted to watch you train and box, and cheer you on and kiss the bruises. He wanted to know the things you hid about yourself, and the things that made you somehow imperfect. He wanted your smile and your dumb jokes and the way you like to have the control, the way you fight him for it. He wanted the way you made him feel and the reassurance just your company brought, that somebody wanted him too.
JJ wanted you.
“I want you to stay,” he said. He swallowed and smiled, properly. “I want you to stay with me.”
Your face glowed with your smile. Crinkles by your eyes and a slight girlish giddiness as you quietly laugh down at your hands, bashful all of a sudden. Bashful like you didn’t know that his dying wish was to be baptised in your spit. Like you didn’t get off on being on top; of having him weak under your spell.
“If I hadn’t just thrown up, I’d fuck you right now, right here,” JJ says.
You bark out a laugh, tossing your head back before smiling at him. “Oh really?”
“Yep.”
“You gonna toss me out on the streets after like a hooker?” you risk in a joke.
JJ rolls his eyes and tries to shove away the shame he feels for doing that. He knows it’s in the past now. Can tell by the way you bite your lip through your smile.
“Shut up.”
“Wow. Incredible come back,” you push. He laughs, shaking his head.
“I’m serious. Shut up.”
“Make me.”
The look in your eye becomes almost dark. There’s a quirk to your smile that makes his stomach clench and shrink. He gnaws on his lip. Somehow dragging his eyes from yours, he looks to the bathroom sink and cupboard. He forces himself to his feet and tugs it open, looking around for something – anything – that’ll get rid of the vomit taste stuck on his tongue. A toothbrush. Fuck yes. Maybe God doesn’t hate him after all. When you catch on to what he’s doing, you start to laugh. He quickly brushes his teeth and tongue, rinsing out his mouth.
“Seriously? Guys and their dicks, Jesus.”
“Shut up,” he gurgles, pointing at you with the brush. You laugh harder and JJ can’t help but smile. The best goddamn laugh.
Spitting out, he wipes his mouth, tosses the toothbrush to the side, grabs your hands and tugs you up to your feet. His lips are on yours in a second, clumsy and frantic, and your laughter doesn’t die off immediately. It does when he picks you up, lifting you onto the sink. You gasp against his mouth, somewhat caught off guard. Hands wrapping around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair, JJ feels as you wrap his legs around his waist and tug him closer.
“Fuck,” he sighs, pulling back. He rests his forehead against yours, breathing heavy. You open your eyes slowly and smile, sweet. You’re so sweet. “I missed this.”
“Damn right you did,” you smirk.
There you are.
As you start making out again, there’s something deeper at play. His hands move to your thighs, working up your sundress, and your fingers tug at his hair in the most delicious way. He groans against you. He’s hard and desperate and horny and still somehow a little tipsy. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Everything about this is just…
“You gonna eat me out or what?”
The words, whispered right down his ear…JJ’s surprised he doesn’t come on the spot. Somehow, he finds his control, enough so to reply, “didn’t anybody teach you manners, princess?”
When you kiss, it’s teeth and tongue, and dirty and messy, and fucking delectable. JJ begins down your neck, over your chest, finding enough space on your collar bone to suck a love bite. It was driving him crazy, seeing your skin unmarked. You shrug off your cardigan and lean back a little, hands scrambling to not slip on the damp sink’s porcelain. You watch him as he makes his way to his knees, shoving up your skirt, and lift yourself off the edge of the sink enough for him to slide your panties down your legs.
“You’re so pretty,” you tell him in a pant.
JJ’s eyes glance up to meet yours. Sees the way your teeth are sunk into your lower lip, a small smile adorning your flushed face. The beginnings of a love bite forming already. It’s the feeling of one of your feet digging into his shoulder blade, urging him to you, that spurs him on.
He takes his time eating you out. Savours the moans and bathes in your whimpers. The sinful sweetness of you on his tongue. His fingers dig into the skin of your thighs, trying to find some self-control. They’ll probably bruise. It’s a nice thought. It’s ephemeral, over too soon; you come with a near-silent moan, ankles locking around him, holding him against you. Perfect, perfect, perfect.
“JJ,” you sigh, sounding desperate. He feels you shift and falls back on his haunches, wiping at his face. Licking his lips. Closing his eyes, he tries to level himself. He has to make it last, at least just a little longer.
The feeling of your hand prying at his shirt has him coming back to reality. JJ looks up at you, panting a little, and smiles lazily at the fucked-out look on your face. He helps you pull him to his feet, kissing you the moment he’s standing above you, smirking as he hears you moan from your own taste. You’re fucking filthy. And it’s only for him. The thought makes him desperate to fuck you.
It seems your mind is on the same track because your fingers start fumbling with his short’s zipper. He pulls away to help you tug them off, dragging his boxers with them.
“You got anything?” you ask, voice no more than a breath.
JJ scrambles through his thoughts and nods, shoving a hand through his damp hair and grabbing for his wallet; digging about with shaking hands, retrieving a condom. You take it from him and open it - giggling in a way that’s too sweet for the salaciousness of the moment - and put it on him, rubbing for longer than you need to. Somehow, he forces your hand from him.
“Can’t do that or I’m not gonna last,” he breathlessly chuckles before pressing a kiss to your lips.
Your arms loop back around his neck, tongue slipping into his mouth, and JJ’s hands slip under your legs and pull you to sit on the very edge of the sink.
The moment he sinks into you, both of you sigh against one another, body’s singing as if in reverence. The sex is rough and rushed and rapturous. Your head rests on his shoulder and your moans fall straight into his ear, as if coming straight from God’s mouth.
And once again, it’s all over too soon. You finish first, JJ soon after, gasping against your shoulder, damp and clammy with sweat. As he fucks you both through it, slowly coming to a stop, your fingers thread gently through his hair, rubbing soothingly at his scalp. He rests in you for a while. The two of you slowly catch your breath, arms tangled around one another, a head on the other’s shoulder.
You’re the first to move, and you do so only enough to kiss him. Tender now. Almost loving. JJ sighs into it, stroking your back gently. The thought of having you near again…It’s almost like he has air back in his lungs. It’s a strange feeling, a bizarre and new one, but JJ’s no longer scared of it like he was before. How can he be when you’re right there with him?
Breaking apart, your foreheads rest against one another, and JJ braves opening his eyes. You’re already looking at him. The two of you smile at the same time, and you begin to laugh.
“Not bad, huh?”
JJ grins.
“Best you’ve ever had?”
“Oh shut up.”
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vogueprincess · 3 months ago
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here’s my take on rafe and sofia…. if they make his character all soft and simple and straightforward it ruined his whole character!!! his character is this complex deranged guy with issues and it makes no sense for that all to be resolved because he suddenly gets into this relationship with a sofia. i also think it’s a bit off character for him to be with a pogue…. i also think that the only reason they added her is to give the viewers the idea of what it would be like to be in a relationship with rafe (cause let’s be real rafe is one of obx main money makers) let me know what you think!
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killanyone4you · 1 year ago
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look at my children 😍
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coolthingsguyslike · 5 months ago
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24kmar · 9 months ago
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𝑹𝒂𝒇𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝒙 𝑩𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝑲𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝑴𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝑷𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆 𝑮𝑭
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hs-is-loml · 2 years ago
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Remember That. (r.c)
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Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader
Summary: rule one don't mention pogues around rafe. rule two never mention about quitting on him.
Warnings: rafe? aggression against the reader, threatening?
a/n: quick blurb for rafe!
masterlist
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“Rafe, we cannot keep this up,” you mumbled against his lips.
“We? Or you?” he teased as you felt his lips turn into a smirk. Just as Rafe leaned in closer to press his lips against yours once more. You turned your face making his lips miss and meet your cheek. “C’mon, baby. Don’t be like that.”
“Sarah almost caught us today. What if she figures out and tells the pogues?” you look down at the floor and ask him as you begin to turn away wanting to grow the distance between you two.
“It’s always about them isn’t it?” he scoffed in disgust. He caught onto your wrist and pulled you back making your chest hit his. He raised his other hand under your chin making you look up straight into his piercing gaze. “Don’t ever turn your back on me.”
“It wouldn’t always be about them if you didn’t cause something each time you’re even close to their proximity!” you snapped back at him causing him to grip onto your chin tighter causing you pain. You tried to move from his grasp but his hand on your waist kept you in place. “That hurts, Rafe.”
It only made him hold onto you stronger, “Maybe if your little pogue friends weren’t so pesky, you would realize you’re too good to spend your time around them. This relationship is over when I say it is,” he voiced to you. “I never want to hear you say some shit like that again. You got it?”
“But, Rafe-”
“What did I just say!” he cut you off pushing you against the wall. 
“Fine!” your back pressed against the wall as he towered over you. His menacing stare met your frightened gaze. 
“You’re mine. Not theirs. Remember that.”
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topperscumslut · 6 months ago
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just reread my 3.5k word essay in defense of topper thornton and goddamn i kinda forgot just how bad my man got fucked over im so glad i made an entire fucking blog dedicated to him even tho i barely post about topper or obx anymore and this is basically a scream/stuilly fanpage atp ahaha topper baby they can never make me hate u
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cherryfyre · 25 days ago
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5 Times Sarah Cameron Used You to Change Rafe's Mind
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The Charity Auction
Rafe lounged on the couch, lazily flipping through the flat screen's channels. He wasn't in the mood for Sarah's antics, but the sound of her heels clicking on the hardwood floors made him glance up.
"Don't forget, the charity auction is tomorrow," Sarah said, casually tying her hair back as she rifled through a drawer.
"Not going"
"You're unbelievable," Sarah shot back, slamming the drawer shut. "Dad donated half the prizes, and people are expecting us. Do you really want to deal with him if we don't show?"
Rafe scoffed "Since when do you care about what Dad thinks?"
"I don't. But the auction's important to people. Like... y'know who."
Rafe didn't need her to clarify. He could picture you now—probably making centrepieces out of seashells or whatever it was kooks like you cared about. He rolled his eyes, "Still not going."
Sarah smirked. "Right. Because you hate being in a room where people are actually impressed by you for once." She snapped, turning on her heel and starts to leave.
He threw the remote onto the couch with a groan "Fine. but if it's boring then I'm out."
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The next evening. Rafe walked into the auction wearing a blazer that screamed "I don't care," through his hair that was carefully tousled. His eyes hovered over the luxurious room, until they had found you.
You were at the front of the room, adjusting a floral arrangement on a table, your dress soft and flowing, catching the light with every move. When you turend and saw him, your focused face turned into a surprised smile.
"Rafe? I didn't think I would see you here."
"Yeah, well...." He shrugged, slipping hsi hands into his pockets, "Sarah dragged me."
Your smiled softened, your voice quieter now. "Well, I'm glad you came. It's nice having someone I know here."
Rafe felt his chest tighten unexpectedly, the kind of feeling he'd never admit. "You seem busy." He said, motioning to the bustling room.
"I am, but..." You stepped closer, the warmth of your perfume wrapping around him "It's good busy. It's for a good cause."
He nodded, unable to look away from your glowing expression. "Yeah, looks good."
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2. The Bonfire
“Don’t be lame, Rafe,” Sarah called from the doorway, jingling her car keys.
“Not going.” He didn’t even look up from his phone.
“Right,” Sarah said, leaning against the doorframe. “Because sitting alone here and staring at your phone all night is such a better time.”
“It is when I don’t have to deal with John B and his idiot friends.”
Sarah shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’m just saying it’s not a bad crowd. You know, people who don’t get on your nerves.” She paused, giving him a pointed look. “Like her.”
Rafe’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond.
“She’s been talking about it all week. She even made s’mores kits,” Sarah added with a sly grin. “But whatever. Have fun being miserable.”
He sighed, setting his phone down with exaggerated annoyance. “I’m only going because I’m bored. Don’t expect me to stay long.”
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The fire crackled against the dark sky, and Rafe stayed on the outskirts, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed. He scanned the crowd until his eyes landed on you. You were crouched by the fire, your laughter mingling with the sparks as you tried to keep a marshmallow from catching fire.
When you caught him watching, you smiled and waved. “Come sit!”
“I’m good here,” he called back, though his feet were already moving toward you.
“Afraid of s’mores?” you teased, holding out a perfectly roasted marshmallow.
He smirked, taking it from you. “You’re lucky this one’s decent.
“Lucky?” you laughed. “I’m an expert.”
He shook his head but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips. The firelight danced in your eyes, and for the first time that night, he didn’t mind being there.
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3. The Surf Competition
Rafe leaned back in his chair, his feet propped on the porch railing as Sarah walked past with a beach bag slung over her shoulder.
“You’re not going to the surf competition?” she asked, not breaking stride.
“Since when do I go to those things?” he shot back, his sunglasses hiding his glare.
“Since never,” Sarah replied. “But it’s kind of a big deal. The whole island’s going. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.”
“Pass.”
Sarah stopped, looking over her shoulder. “You know, she’s competing.”
Rafe’s hand paused mid-reach for his drink. “And?”
“And nothing,” Sarah said, turning away. “But she’s been practicing for weeks, and she’s actually good. But hey, stay here. I’m sure your chair needs you.”
Rafe grumbled under his breath, grabbing his keys. “Whatever.”
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The beach was packed, the crowd buzzing with excitement. Rafe kept to the back, his arms crossed as he scanned the waves. When he spotted you paddling out, your determination written in every stroke, he couldn’t look away.
You caught a wave, carving effortlessly down its face, your smile radiant as you glided toward the shore. The crowd erupted in cheers, but Rafe barely noticed. He was too busy watching you, the way you seemed to light up in the sunlight.
Afterward, you spotted him leaning against a railing. “Rafe! You came?”
He shrugged, his expression neutral. “Didn’t have anything else going on.”
Your smile widened. “Well, thanks. It means a lot.”
He didn’t say anything, but the warmth in your voice stayed with him long after the competition ended.
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4. The Family Dinner
“You’re coming to dinner,” Sarah said as she walked into the living room.
Rafe didn’t even glance up. “No, I’m not.”
“It’s just dinner, Rafe. Dad’s grilling, and—”
“And what? It’s going to be a train wreck like usual?”
Sarah sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Fine. Stay here. I just thought you’d want to keep her company while the rest of us deal with Dad’s speeches.”
Rafe looked up, his brow furrowing. “She’s going?”
“She’s coming with her parents. You know how Dad is—he invited everyone with a trust fund.”
Rafe muttered something under his breath before standing. “Guess I’ll go. Someone has to keep you in check.”
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At the dinner, Rafe kept his distance at first, leaning against a tree with a drink in hand. But when he saw you standing by yourself near the fire pit, your dress catching the glow of the flames, he found himself walking over.
“Didn’t think this was your kind of thing,” he said, his voice casual.
You turned, your face lighting up. “Rafe! I didn’t see you earlier.”
“Yeah, well… figured I’d make an appearance.”
You smiled softly, and for the rest of the night, Rafe found himself by your side, your laughter making the night more bearable than he’d ever admit.
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5. The Lake Day
“Let’s go,” Sarah said, throwing a towel at Rafe’s head.
He caught it with a scowl. “Go where?”
“The lake. Everyone’s going.”
“Pass.”
“Typical.” Sarah rolled her eyes. “She’s coming too, but I guess that’s not enough of a reason for you to leave your cave.”
Rafe frowned, trying to mask his interest. “She’s going?”
Sarah didn’t answer, just smirked as she walked out the door.
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By the lake, Rafe spotted you sitting on the dock, your feet dangling in the water. The sunlight danced across the waves, catching in your hair and making you look almost otherworldly.
He walked over, sitting down next to you without a word.
“Hey,” you said, smiling at him. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Sarah dragged me,” he lied, glancing out at the water.
You bumped his shoulder lightly. “Well, I’m glad you came.”
Rafe felt the tension in his chest ease, the warmth of your presence making the lake day more tolerable than he’d thought possible.
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amandabbbbb · 8 months ago
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thinking about dark!rafe who manipulates pogueprincess!reader!!! she’s so pretty and sweet he does everything and anything to be around her all the time. she’s literally the only one who gives him attention and he can’t let that go or he will go insane. he gets pissed off everytime she hangs out with her pogue friends since they take up all her time and she loves them but in his eyes they aren’t worthy to be around her or be loved by her, only he is. so rafe bullies the fuck out of her pogue friends. making up rumours about them and calling them dirty pogues but doesn’t let her see or know. they finally tell her they don’t want to be around her anymore bc of rafe and she tries to break up with rafe. he literally won’t let her and convinces her that they were lying and were just jealous and didn’t understand their connection. he plants doubts in her mind, making her believe that distancing herself from them is the right choice.
“you don’t need them, princess. they were holding you back. but I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”
ahhh that was so stupid but it was my first time writing so don’t bully me pls
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gxdsfavgal · 2 years ago
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In honor of OBX3 releasing today…
here’s some random Rafe insta stories that don’t go with S3 plot🫶
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wanderlustxprincess · 1 month ago
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In case any OBX fans are looking for holiday gift ideas, I just posted a bunch of custom, made to order friendship bracelets on my etsy shop!
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darkphoenix180 · 3 months ago
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