#NTA: keep that friend for life

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not complaining about my sex/love life?

A bit nsfw. I'll try to keep it vague.

So I (31FTM) came out and transitioned about 5 years ago. My husband (34, cis M) and I were married beforehand. He was extremely relieved, as he had realized he was gay and didn't know how to tell me. It's like a fairy tale if Disney thought we were marketable 💜 just a bit of context to what happened next.

I have a group of friends, straight cis women my age, who knew me pretransition. They were relatively supportive, minus a few confused questions and a couple of comments early on about how hard it was to remember my name.

I was out to brunch with 3 of them (K, S, L, all early 30s/late 20s). L is engaged, S recently got serious with a guy, and K is perpetually single.

We were all chatting and eventually got on the topic of romance. S was complaining that her boyfriend never did the dishes. L laughed and said she had to essentially train her fiance to do certain household chores. K piped up with some sort of "men are the worst" comment, which I just sort of ignored, until she turned to me and said "So what gets on your nerves about YOUR husband, OP?"

I shrugged and said that sometimes he leaves his socks on the floor, but that's about it. K rolled her eyes and said there had to be SOMETHING that pissed me off about him, like "he's bad in bed or doesn't listen to you." I snapped a little and told her that no, actually, I don't care what you say about your partners but mine is actually really great, and I love him. He's great in bed, he's very caring and passionate, he listens to me all the time, and I won't be convinced to shittalk him.

It got quiet and I just decided to leave cash for my part of the bill and leave. I went home to snuggle into my husband's arms on the couch and tell him what happened. He just laughed and said I could shittalk him if I wanted. I don't think he really got why I was so upset.

That afternoon, K texted me and said I really embarrassed her in front of everyone and wanted me to apologize for what I said. I refused and told her that I wasn't gonna apologize because she assumed I didn't like my husband and I corrected her. She called me a bitch and went radio silent. I texted S and L and asked them if they were okay, no response yet.

My husband thinks I should just apologize, but I don't want to say sorry for refusing to talk badly about someone who supported me during one of the hardest times of my life, even if he'd be fine with it. It just makes me feel wrong.

AITA?

[thecouchsofa]

You might be thinking, Tee, in your 2023 AO3 wrap up post, you said you wrote a ridiculous amount of HP fic this year - but what about reading? Well, thanks for asking, imaginary audience – as a matter of fact, I did indeed read a lot of Drarry fics this year. A fucking horrendous number of Drarry fics, in fact.

Below the cut are some of my favourites that were published in 2023, arranged by word count.

But first, a note: there is truly an overwhelming amount of talent in this fandom and this list only scratches the surface. These fics all gave me something that I was looking for and were my favourites for a number of different reasons. I hope you can find something new to love here (or reconnect with an old favourite), and that you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

If there’s a fic from 2023 that isn’t here but you really enjoyed, chuck it in the replies section so we can all see it!

🌸 AITA for being "obsessed" with my childhood nemesis? – @rainstormradish (4k, M) 🌸

Alrakis I [24M] attended a small boarding school in the UK. There was a boy in my year, a couple of months younger than me, and he became my nemesis after we developed an intense rivalry. My friend [25F] told me recently that our dynamic was "weird back then" and that "it’s even weirder" that I still think about him today. She argued that I talk about him all the time, but I believe the amount I talk about him is reasonable. AITA?

prongymcprongface i completely get what you mean. i had a nemesis (like a school one, separate to my other nemesis) and we had a dynamic super similar to what you are describing. having a nemesis is a very cool and normal thing dw about it. NTA

In which Draco asks the internet if he's being reasonable. Only one commenter is sympathetic. They start talking.

Read for: unique fic idea with a cool layout, humour, boys being idiots

🌻 Snug – @moonflower-rose (6k, E) 🌻

Potter can't keep his hands off himself. Draco can't look away.

Read for: Draco being Obsessed with Harry(‘s cock), Humorous Writing Style

🪻 Birds Behaving Badly – @peachpety (10k, E) 🪻

For eight years, Draco has been content living a quiet life of anonymity in Brighton, dodging pesky seagulls and enjoying the ephemeral boys of summer. And if these summer blokes just happen to resemble Harry Potter, it’s a mere coincidence—despite what his friends say.

But when a repeat one-night stand challenges him to face his desires, Draco thinks he’s finally over his years-long crush.

A seagull named Kevin thinks otherwise.

For: Unleashed!Fest 2023

Read for: hidden/mistaken identity, summer vibes, Kevin the seagull

🌸 Under the Confetti Mist – @azalealarae (12k, E) 🌸

Harry and Draco stay up late working on a Potions assignment in the poorly ventilated eighth-year common room, unaware that disinhibition is a side effect of the elixir’s vapor.

Read for: Sex Pollen, Drarry as Potions partners

🌻 Hellos, goodbyes, a thousand midnights – newskyillusion (13k, M) 🌻

The world, as Harry knew it, has ended.

At least he has a garden.

OR

Harry and Draco live through the apocalypse

For: Drarry Let’s Play Fest 2023

Read for: body horror, cosy vibes (just trust me, lol), Harry gardening, Powerful Harry, Harry and Draco relying on each other.

🪻 Amorous As This Lovely Green – @annanother-thing (14k, E) 🪻

Harry hates being a celebrity. Draco cannot find a single model that fits his vision for his latest line. They both make the debatable choice of trusting one PA extraordinaire/best friend, Pansy Parkinson.

For: Harry/Draco Career Fair 2023

Read for: Harry modelling lingerie, Hot Harry

🌸 Help! I'm a Hopeless Romantic! – @peachydreamxx (14k, M) 🌸

Draco turns from the bar, eyes latching onto Harry. He surveys him, one brow lifting, and Harry, like a deer in headlights, throws his hand up with the world’s most awkward wave. Draco just weaves out of sight, and Harry’s face burns as Ron pats him on the shoulder, then steals a chip. “He gave you a look, didn’t he?”

~ how to get over your crush

~ places that sell cake after 11pm near me

~ how to tell if someone is playing hard to get

A year in the life of Harry's shared moments, and private thoughts

For: Wheel of Drarry Mini-Exchange Secret Santa 2023

Read for: Harry’s Google Searches, Humour

🌻 Cool About It – @oflights (M, 16k) 🌻

Harry is so excited for his first date with Draco. But what follows isn't so much a date as it is an all-night odyssey including a malevolent lift, a Gringotts heist, a Sleeping Curse, a trip to the kebab shop, a lack of dancing, a Muggle drug, a rooftop pool party, a black eye and, eventually, a sunrise over a Quidditch stadium.

Read for: Humour, idiots in love, first dates

🪻 The Eighth Sin – @thehoneybeet (16k, E) 🪻

When Draco is sentenced to five years of house arrest, without magic, alone, the only person to visit him is Potter. But Draco’s beginning to doubt whether Potter is really there at all.

For: HD Wireless 2023

Read for: dreamy/sad vibes, caring Harry, a beautiful exploration of a relationship

🌸 What’s Mine is Yours – @fluxweeed (17k, E) 🌸

Harry loses something important. Malfoy helps him get it back.

Read for: smut so hot it’ll light you on fire

🌻 O Come, All Ye Faithful – toomuchplor (19k, E) 🌻

Aunt Petunia died, that was what began everything.

Or rather, Aunt Petunia was dying. In the act of dying.

In which Draco finds faith in the church, and Harry finds faith in Draco.

Read for: Vicar Draco, Harry’s Vicar Kink, Beautiful Writing, Draco’s Hard Sanctified Cock

🪻 The Boys of Summer – @saxamophone (19k, E) 🪻

It's summer, and they're spending it at a lake, far away from everything. There’s swimming and a floating dock, cracked and warm in the sun. Fizzy drinks and fireflies. Sticky strawberry ice lollies and beach towels tangled under them.

Harry’s golden skin and love for The Grateful Dead and Fleetwood Mac.

Draco Malfoy is doomed, but what else is new?

For: HD Wireless 2023

Read for: delicious pining, summer vibes, beautiful romance, nostalgic vibes

🌸 Nature pricks them on to ramp and rage – @goblinmatriarch (E, 21k) 🌸

Lord Draco Malfoy may be a young man spending time in Dumbledore’s summer court, but that does not mean he needs to succumb to its licentious frivolity. He carries the burden of his lineage, the shadow of rumours, and the dignity of his betrothal to a good match. He is certainly not fool enough to be distracted by the dark curls and ready grin of the court’s stableboy, who seems to have taken up with every courtier who looks his way.

For: HP Bodice Ripper Fest 2023

Read for: Historical AU done right, Draco in a codpiece, more riding euphemisms than you can count

🌻 True Love Gave To Me – @epitomereally (23k, E) 🌻

It’s the first of December, and all Draco wants to do is make Christmas lovely for Scorpius. But then Harry Potter shows up, asking him to save the world, and it turns out they’ve almost saved the world a couple of times before. One-hundred and forty-four times, to be exact.

Or: what happens after the time loop?

For: H/D Erised 2023

Read for: time loop shenanigans, cosy vibes, adorable Scorpius (and his geese)

🪻 Nothing But You On My Mind – @moonflower-rose (29k, M) 🪻

Potter has been in Australia on an internship for almost a year, and Draco cannot wait for him to get back home. They'll finally have a chance to talk about their feelings for each other. What could possibly go wrong?

Loads, as it turns out.

For: HD Wireless 2023

Read for: Angst, Draco/Ron/Hermione Friendship, idiots in love

🌸 who will receive you in love's offices – @jtimu (30k, E) 🌸

A year in the life of Draco Malfoy, increasingly derailed by Harry Potter.

In the aftermath of it all, Draco opened an antiques shop. Sort of. Mostly, though, what he did was repair work. People brought him their grandparents’ charmed silverware or a pocketwatch which was meant to show the stars at your birth but now only held the time, and he would fix them. It was quiet work, a little lonely, but for the repeated intrusions of one Harry J Potter.

Read for: brilliant deep dive into magical theory, smarty pants Draco, enemies to friends to lovers (emphasis on the middle step), poetry references by the bucketful, a version of Draco that lives rent free in my mind

🌻 Half Sick of Shadows – @starquestingfordrarry (39k, E) 🌻

Harry and Draco have been sleeping together for months, and it's fine. It's enough for Harry.

But when things finally start to feel like the more Harry's been hoping for, a strange tapestry project has him worrying he won't ever get the chance.

Or: the one with sheep, dragons, and a whole lot of weaving metaphors.

For: H/D Career Fair 2023

Read for: Alvin the ram, Harry carving wooden dildos, magical tapestries, atmospheric vibes, an artfully created world

🪻 Now I Know In Part – @dodgerkedavra (39k, E) 🪻

Harry Potter is the savior of the Wizarding World. Draco Malfoy is a reformed Death Eater turned Ministry Curse-Breaker. Five years after the War, they're brought together by another mysterious curse.

Only this time, Harry's the one who needs saving.

More specifically, he needs Draco.

They have one month to break the curse, and the clock is ticking.

Read for: Draco taking care of Harry, Cottagecore vibes, bucketfuls of sweetness, great smut

🌸 Nothing Gold Can Stay – @moonflower-rose (40k, E) 🌸

One summer evening, Harry Potter vanished in the middle of dinner with his friends. Four days later he came back. Sort of.

Draco Malfoy is on the case.

For: H/D Erised 2023

Read for: Alternate Universes, Married Draco/Harry, Non-Painful Angst

🌻Sharper than a Sea Serpent's Tooth – @goblinmatriarch (40k, T)

Draco expects his research trip to Crete to focus on the ecology of ward design, with perhaps some cheeky visits to the elusive sea serpents and the odd sleepy beach day. Instead, he encounters a Past he's spent over a decade trying to outrun, and a familiar scowl under glasses and a scar. Featuring just so much imagining being on a hot, sunny beach for your winter pleasure.

For: H/D Erised 2023

Read for: Magical Creatures, Greek Mythology, International Location (Crete), Atmospheric Writing

🪻 LA, Who Am I To Love You? – @epitomereally (42k, E) 🪻

Harry’s summer in LA is not going as expected. Pansy Parkinson keeps inviting him to parties in the Hollywood Hills and harassing him to finally go to the physical therapist, Blaise Zabini keeps slipping new strains of his company’s magical weed into Harry’s pockets in hopes of an endorsement, and Draco Malfoy keeps having sex with everyone but Harry.

For: HD Wireless 2023

Read for: Werewolf Harry, Incubus Draco, Acquaintances to Friends to Lovers, Interesting Location (LA)

🌸 A Pulled Down Shade – fast_brother (43k, M) 🌸

Harry does not like Draco Malfoy, not even one bit. Never did and never will. That is, until he finds himself married to him.

For: HP Soulmates Fest 2023

Read for: HUGE Grounds for Divorce vibes! Angst, Harry working through trauma, Harry fighting for Draco

🌻 The Waiting – @oknowkiss (43k, E) 🌻

It’s been almost ten years since Draco Malfoy disappeared during a routine Curse Breaker training exercise. Harry, his partner in more ways than one, is determined to figure out why. As the past resurfaces and the present fades into confusion, Harry discovers the only thing more unreliable than memory is love.

For: HD Wireless 2023

Read for: Curse Breaker Partners, Angst, Secret Relationship

🪻 The Unplottable Time Conundrum – @writcraft (45k, E) 🪻

When the past starts bleeding into the present at Grimmauld Place, an old academic article pulls Draco Malfoy out of his life of luxury. Haunted by the memory of a fleeting post-war kiss and thrust into the ghostly spaces inhabited by Unspeakable Harry Potter, Draco’s easy life is about to get a whole lot more complicated.

For: H/D Erised 2023

Read for: House Magic, The Order of the Pheonix, Haunted House vibes, Drarry in their 30s

🌸 Our Objective Remains Unchanged – @citrusses (46k, E) 🌸

Harry Potter, returning member of the Oxford University Boat Club, has two goals for the spring of 2005: beat Cambridge, and beat Draco Malfoy. Perhaps not in that order.

Read for: Muggle AU, Sports AU, Competitiveness, Damn good writing

🌻 Everybody Hates a Tourist – @wolfpants (51k, E) 🌻

On a stag do in sunny Brighton with the Gryffindor lads, the last person Harry expects to run into is Draco Malfoy. After a glimpse of Malfoy’s Muggle life in Britain’s gay capital, Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself returning to the seaside again and again, drawn to the city, drawn to this new version of Malfoy that Harry barely recognises from school.

Meanwhile, Draco’s just trying to live his big and best queer life: working for the weekend, chasing hot men, getting lost in Brighton's nightlife, and making friends with the neighbourhood cats. Why does his former school rival and crush have to show up and spoil everything?

For: HD Wireless 2023

Read for: beautiful relationship building, Harry finding himself, Draco living his best life. I won’t lie, I’d read the back of a cereal box if wolfpants wrote it – do yourself a favour if you haven’t already

🪻 from love, obviously – bizarrestars (52k, M) 🪻

"I just mean, doing the right thing because it's right is better than doing it because…"

"What?" Draco challenges, amused. "Better to do it because it's right as opposed to doing it because it's not wrong? Please enlighten me on what the difference is."

"You're the difference," is Harry's answer.

(Or: Draco Malfoy comes up with a plan, drinks a lot of tea, and fails to fix a clock. Somewhere along the way, Harry Potter falls in love with him, which wasn't a part of the plan at all.)

Read for: Unhinged Draco, Harry being resigned to Draco’s antics, Weasley family feels, fast pacing

🌸 Terrible People – @getawayfox and @wolfpants (52k, E) 🌸

What happens when Harry and Draco end up on the same Muggle gay cruise? They certainly didn't plan for it to happen (but their friends might have). They're stuck with each other for a week, they might as well make the most of it, right?

Featuring a holiday-long game of Truth or Dare, a very ill-judged FWB proposition, decades-long pining, lots of gin, and a small pair of green swimming trunks.

Read for: Gorgeous Art , RomCom vibes, Gay Cruise, Friends with Benefits to Lovers

🌻 Nights With You – @the-sinking-ship (58k, E) 🌻

Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed. Never a man to squander an opportunity for revenge (and what would probably be a spectacular shag), Draco vows to make Potter his for the weekend.

Now all Draco has to do is convince him.

Read for: Fake dating, mild size kink, international location (Italy), mildly unhinged Draco, hot Harry

Note: This is the fic that made me set up a Doc for everything I’d read to make sure I wouldn’t lose it to the wide realm of the internet.

🪻 Rookie Moves – peu_a_peu (75k, E) 🪻

Aurors Potter and Malfoy crack the case.

Read for: Humour, Enemies to Coworkers to Lovers, Unhinged Draco

🌸 How To Train Your Malfoy – @fencer-x (93k E) 🌸

Good manners dictate that, when one’s best friend Apparates onto one’s doorstep holding the unconscious, haggard body of the schoolyard bully and begging for sanctuary, one ought to invite the two of them in for a cup of tea. Harry Potter sometimes wishes he weren’t so polite.

For: H/D Erised 2023

Read for: Dragon Animagus Draco, Harry taking care of Draco, brilliant writing, a funny as fuck premise – I wanted Draco to stay in his unhinged dragon form forever

🌻 Symptom of Your Touch – NoxNoir (115k, E) 🌻

St. Mungo's Healer Draco Malfoy is used to being pushed to his limits when providing aide to the ailing, but when an unexpected encounter with an out of character Harry Potter throws his life out of balance one night, he is forced to ask himself how far he's willing to push his own levels of discomfort to be of aid to a man in need of help that only he can provide.

Read for: Draco taking care of Harry, Pining, Unrequited love, buckets of sexual tension

🪻 Recursion – Tessa Crowley (132k, E) 🪻

A process is recursive when it defines or contains itself; e.g., the Fibonacci sequence, which determines the next number as the sum of the previous two.

But not all recursive processes are mathematical. Recursion can happen in a temporal context when, for instance, the powerful magical force that is true love drags you back in time so it can create itself, endangering the fate of the Wizarding World—not to mention the very fabric of space and time—along the way.

Read for: Canon Retelling/Divergence, time travel, Slytherin Harry, a truly insane amount of physics/magical theory/intelligence. This fic was too smart for me in the best way. If you liked Chaos Theory read this – it’s even better!

🌸 Cut From the Sky – @mallstars (150k, E) 🌸

"I'm stuck in a time loop, reliving November 2nd. This is the 111th time I've lived through today."

Draco stilled. His moody eyes, the tension in his hands where he gripped onto his umbrella, the careful mask of blankness flickering over his face — everything about him was so difficult and so very dear to Harry.

"Ah," said Draco, "and?"

Note: no rec list for this year could be considered complete without including this one.

Read for: Harry at his most loveable, a relationship story told a hundred different ways, atmospheric worldbuilding, Trans representation.

🌻 In the Blood – BiscuitBrunch (225k, E) 🌻

Harry Potter thinks Draco Malfoy is a slimy git of a defense lawyer, who couldn't care less about doing the right thing.

Draco Malfoy thinks Harry Potter is a filthy pig of an Auror, who couldn't care less about doing the right thing.

They fight, fuck, fall in love, and fight some more.

When they're on the brink of getting their shit together and starting a family, a blood curse surfaces that threatens the lives of Draco and their unborn child.

Read for: badass lawyer Draco, deep exploration of a relationship, working through trauma, slice of life, mpreg

[nonexistant00tmblr]

I love ii but it WILL be the death of me. I keep thinking about how Baseball's storyline is just so damn tragic, and nobody notices. "Always strikes out", And he 𝘩𝘢𝘴 his whole life (his whole time on the show).

Not rejoining, even when he earned it (Paper most likely had the sympathy of fans due to Paper having been there the longest, but Baseball had also been there almost just as long, and- 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. He 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 threaten to kill anyone upon his release! /sarc)

having a constant stream of ridicule from the other contestants regarding his weight lasting S1 AND the start of S2. Why do they even CARE about his weight brah. Ohhh, that's right! Meshart4 fated him to never get what he wants, like people 𝘯𝘰𝘵 seeing him for only his weight. Womp womp, I guess. Wow Mephone, projecting, much? (Also [in my opinion] weight seems VERY irrelevant for objects to care about, due to how most things that could change the appearance of a human [such as; diet, physical strength, hygiene.] Don't really change an object's appearance.) ((Also also being criticized for his armless-.. ness(?) Ouch.))

As much as being a team leader seems like it would be a 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 thing, with the team he had, it was like being a single mom of 10. Having to mediate all of the drama in his team whilst leading it in the first place put so much pressure on him, not to mention having the weight of his friend's problems weighing on him making things harder to deal with. The reason he and Nickel had that lil tussle back in s2e10, was BECAUSE Baseball had so many bad things happening to him. He just wanted that little reassurance that even with all the crap happening, he was an at least half-decent leader, and all he got was his best friend making a joke about it, and downplaying Baseball's very real feelings. He tried to save it, but just that first comment I feel definitely affected Baseball in a negative way.

//(Lil detour time, I wanna talk about how Nickel affected Baseball in GENERAL [for the better AND the worse.], Baseball clearly views Nickel as his best friend, even after everything they've gone through in season 2, but I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. I think it shows that Baseball was too scared to try and make new friends in the game, as to not accidentally make an enemy. I feel this is because Baseball was slowly realizing that most things he tried to do wouldn't go his way, so he'd cling on to Nickel as his only friend, hoping not to lose him, feeling lucky to have him at all (and Nickel would know all about luck/jjjjjjj). This lead to Baseball disregarding some of Nickel's actions towards himself and Suitcase as to preserve his relationship with Nickel. Though, I do feel that the bond they had was real. It started in season 1, where there was less drama built up over time(ex; Tophy and Knife in s2e1 planting the seed for their inevitable rivalry, vs Taco randomly being that bitch and that hoe. /silly), so Baseball most likely wasn't thinking about "preserving his friendship" with Nickel, but rather being friends with him in general. This gave them that time to have genuine interactions that build up the trust between the two. This is why Baseball played along with whatever Nickel did, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮. That friendship was real, and Nickel was taking advantage of Baseball without even realizing it. I doubt his did this consciously due to his s3 arc, and how he was programmed that way. Nta. /silly. Nickel getting eliminated was a real roadblock for Baseball because (as aforementioned) Nickel was Baseball's only real friend in the game at this point, and Baseball still had that very real connection with him. This is why I feel he was so awkward in s2e14, as he was trying to have that confidence that Nickel had, and he never did. As much as that's really good for him- like, yay! You go girl!! It's inadvertently horrible for him specifically, because he is hardwired to have all of his efforts for naught. It took Baseball all of s2e15 talking to Suitcase to realize all of Nickel's wrongs, and how ignoring them put him in the wrong too. Once he finally realized that, it seemed like Baseball was really coming into his own! Working out his own issues bit by bit.

WRONG!!🤑👅💜 s2e16. We got only one Baseball and Nickel interaction, but it was enough to change Baseball for the rest of the life he had left. Watching Nickel die/get X'd was like s2e13's elimination put to an extreme. It's clear that - even thought he was working out his issues - Baseball still had that strong attachment to Nickel. People respond to grief in many ways, but when things get too much for one person, they can simply go numb. Baseball was in a very sensitive mental state, and this really hit him where it hurts most. His best friend. He went numb, not telling anyone what he saw. Even in Baseball's last moments, he tried to take that leader-like stance, and help everyone but himself, just as Nickel told him he could.) // lil detour over (I say lil as if this wasn't long as HELL💜)

Though I did connect back to the main claim occasionally, Nickel was a very important part of Baseball's character development that matters to this conversation imo.

Getting out in s2e15 was also (possibly) a place where Baseball's programming played a part (alternatively, he got out because Suitcase had too many negative experiences with Baseball, and thought that her deep emotional views of him would impair her gameplay in the finale.) "Always strikes out", even with the people he thought were friends. Even with the person he thought was his friend. Even with Suitcase. I feel the reason Baseball had the response he did, was him coming to terms with things just not going his way, which sets him up in that sensitive mental state in s2e16. He seemed to have come to terms with Suitcase choosing Knife, and didn't want to procrastinate on the obvious, that he was just never enough. Not enough for Suitcase, not enough for his team, not enough to win the game.

He just wasn't the guy who could do it. And he knew he never would be.

He always strikes out.

[fairykazu]

AITA FOR BEING COLD TO A STRANGER FOR BEING WEIRD BUT THEY ENDED UP BEING MY CRUSH I LIKED FROM MY CHILDHOOD ??? FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cw: informal writing, ooc, modern au, plotless ?, crackpost, use of kys/kms jokes, ip address leak (NOT REAL!!! i dont condone this in real life.), brief stan war, etc note: i think scaramouche using reddit for advice is funny. i might use this for a diff character. im reposting this from my other account @kaedehararchives masterlist

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/amitheasshole ∙ a year ago thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but they KEEP thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with them. so i pulled some strings and they aren't allowed to talk to me.... well in a class we share.

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses. he wiped right, unlocking his phone, to see the notifications.

replies:

lesbianpirate69 you sound like an asshole

eyepatchwearernumber1 lwk loser behavior lmao thehatguy [OP] who even wears eyepatches? get off my post detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

thank god someone agrees with me. he thought. well that was until he kept scrolling. a bunch of people calling him an asshole. typical. but the username "hydronarwhal" caught his eye. stupid reddit user. who even uses this stupid app?

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

well, two more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not? bobaya wait no, op is valid. t-mobile is ass

robinoaknumberonefan this sounds parasocial thehatguy [OP] you cannot be talking? barbaraisbetterthanrobin ROBIN CANT BEAT BARBARA'S PERFECTION robinoaknumberonefan uhh okay, albert. (albert's info) (albert's info) open full thread?

---

is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i? adornthenight read this then www.reddit.com/r/aita/avidsnoopyfan

---

u/avidsnoopyfan my side of aita for treating someone for being weird? hello! im the person in the thehatguy's post. i want to clear things up. he said that i was clingy to him and that i was someone who wanted to use him for money. i reassure you guys that isn't the case. he just looked familiar. someone i held dear to my heart. i know that's bad to project on someone you met. technically you can argue that i couldve seen him from social media but i don't really use any other than pinterest.

no comments yet

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for adopting two kids?

There’s context here that might actually make it bad.

So several centuries ago, my father (326M at the time) and brothers (307M, 260M, 236M, 219M, 197M, and 197M at the time) and I (281M at the time) all swore an unbreakable oath to reclaim the three jewels that were my father’s greatest creations, and kill anyone who kept them from us. At the time we were really only thinking of the person who originally stole them from us, who we’ll call MG (older than the world, M). He’s done a lot of other awful stuff, like murdering my grandfather and destroying the source of light that was before the sun and moon, and he absolutely deserves to be killed. But since we swore this oath, other people have gotten hold of one of the jewels, and things have gotten messy.

In pursuit of this one jewel, my brothers and I sacked a kingdom. The young princess of that kingdom (3F at the time) got away with the jewel, and she and her people founded a new settlement along with some other refugees. We really didn’t want to attack them again, but, well, I told you about our oath. We held out for a while, but eventually we wrote to the princess (then 34F) and asked her to give the jewel back to us. She wrote back saying that she would have to wait for her husband to return home so she could discuss it with him, but it was pretty clear she was just trying to stall us, and at this point the oath was not happy with us for delaying so long. We attacked her settlement and destroyed it, and in the end we didn’t even manage to reclaim the jewel.

Here’s where the adoption thing comes in. After the attack, my only surviving brother and I found the princess’s twin sons (both 6M) hiding in the destroyed settlement. It wouldn’t have been safe for them to stay there, so I took them with us. We live life on the run from MG, the person who originally stole the jewels - he wants to take over the world, and he’s pretty much already managed to take over the continent we live on - so there‘s really no safe way to get the boys to the only still-existing free settlement where some of their people live. Even if they made it safely there, whoever escorted them might be killed by the people of that settlement, who understandably despise us. I have a responsibility to keep my people safe as well as my boys.

So the twins have stayed with us, and I’ve become their foster father. But I still can’t help wondering whether getting them to a more suitable guardian is worth the risk after all - whether it’s acceptable for me to be raising them, even under these circumstances. I destroyed their home and killed their friends and neighbors! I tried to kill their mother! (She turned into a bird and flew away - I’m still not sure how she did that - which is why leaving the boys in her care wasn’t an option despite her survival.) I know I’m TA for the pillaging and mass murder, but how about for not sending the boys away? I’ll admit I really, really don’t want to send them away - they’re the only bright spot in my life and I love them like my own sons - but is that wrong of me? AITA?

[ingravinoveritas]

I recently had this link shared with me by one of my lovely friends here in the fandom, and found it so compelling that I wanted to share it with all of you.

This is a recent article from Vanity Fair about Cary Grant and Randolph Scott, both iconic actors from the era we now call "Old Hollywood," and it details their extremely interesting--both by the standards of the era and today--relationship. It's a long read, but more than worth it.

For those who may not know, Cary Grant was an English-born American actor and iconic leading man, and Randolph Scott was an American actor most known for appearing in Westerns. Both men were married to women/had children at varying points in their lives, but by some accounts (and especially what is chronicled in this article), they were the loves of each other's lives, even though being openly queer was next to impossible at the time, and would've been looked at as a career-ending (and maybe even life-ending) move.

There also seem to be quite a few parallels between Cary and Randolph 90 years ago and Michael and David today. The two men actually lived together for a number of years, during which the press of the day chose to portray them as "just two fun-loving bachelors waiting to find the right gal," all while Grant in particular starred in films with queer-flavored undertones that were both bold and downright dangerous in the era of the Hays Code. They continued living together when Grant was first married to his first wife, Virginia Cherrill (and after they divorced), and fun fact: While Grant was married, Scott moved right next door...so they were, in fact, neighbors.

Here are a few other excerpts that very much reminded me of Michael and David, for your consideration. (FYI that "Archie Leach" was Cary Grant's birth name before he changed it to his stage name.) This first one calls to mind the Radio Times calling Michael and David a "handsome couple" on the night of the NTAs in 2021:

This next one of course made me think of Michael and David talking on David's podcast (skip to the 1:25 mark) in 2019 about hating photo shoots and how Michael flat-out refused to answer questions at one point and only got through it because of David:

And this last one features a quote from a close friend about Grant and Scott that nearly made my heart skip an entire beat. For reasons that will soon be very, very obvious:

(I mean...)

What is also remarkable about this article (though not necessarily in a good way) is the mention of how little has changed since Grant and Scott's time. How even today, any actor who comes out as any flavor of queer is immediately looked at differently, and how the fear of both professional and personal repercussions keeps people in the closet for so many reasons.

These were the parts of the article that stood out to me the most, but as always I would love to hear from my followers with your thoughts and takes on the parallels above or anything else that you find interesting...

[kaedehararchives]

AITA FOR BEING COLD TO A STRANGER FOR BEING WEIRD BUT THEY ENDED UP BEING THE GIRL I LIKED FROM MY CHILDHOOD ??? FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cw: informal writing, ooc, modern au, plotless ?, crackpost, use of kys/kms jokes, ip address leak (NOT REAL!!! i dont condone this in real life. i think it's kind of in character for scaramouche) note: i think scaramouche using reddit for advice is funny. i might use this for a diff character. i didn't really have a plan for this one

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but she KEEPS thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with her and

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses.

replies: detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

thank god someone agrees with me. until he kept scrolling.

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

one more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not?

---

is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i?

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird (two updates)

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

"AITA for dumping my boyfriend which led to him being captured by a bunch of crazy pirates?"

For a bit of context, me (17F) and my ex boyfriend (17M) come from a drastically different backgrounds. My boyfriend comes from a very priviledged and influnetial family (I'm not sharing exact details due to his media notority), and it's only due to his influence that me and my friends (17F, 18M, 15M) were given a chance to live on the right side of the tracks, so to speak.

As you can imagine, that was challenging. Me and my friends were put into a unique position.

We were forced to do a complete 180 of our lifestyle and beliefs.

Some of my friends, particularly E (17F), are taking to the change so well - she's doing so well. She's becoming a big name in the fashion world, which I'm so happy for her, she's been so passionate about everything fashion ever since I knew her, and she's doing so well in school too. She just got the chance to show off how clever and amazing she is, she's really blossoming in this new enviroment.

Right. Anyway. My boyfriend.

He kept asking me to give up every last of my beliefs, every little thing that made me who I am today, and I didn't feel like saying no was an option. As I said, his family is exteemely influnetial, and his parents could very well take this new life from my friends.

So I tried to adapt.

I studied hard any way I could. I was supportive girlfriend and tried planning exciting and cute dates - which is a thing that I never did before, so it was a challenge for me - and he almost never had time for me.

I even dyed my hair blonde and completely changed my style to fit in better.

I kept answering these never-ending questions from media that just kept hounding me - I've never felt more like a prey before, and I grew up in an extremely "survival of the fittest" situation.

But it never was enough. Even with all the support my friends and particularly wonderful E were giving me, I couldn't take it anymore.

I decided to end things with him on a friendly note, going as far as throwing in the obligatory "It's not you, it's me," and to make the move back to my childhood home so he could move on quicker.

I just wanted to be myself again, you know?

But my ex-boyfriend decided that I was making in-the-moment snap decisions and that he needed to come get me.

I did not ask him to follow me.

You see, my childhood home is a very dangerous place, especially for a person in his position.

He knew that, and my friends informed me that they warned him against following me repeatedly. Since he was relentless, they went with him, and warned him to stay with them and in disguise.

Keep in mind, I did not ask him to come.

Failing to follow easy instructions multiple times, my ex-boyfriend wandered off and was kidnapped by a bunch of crazy and murder-happy pirates.

Despite all of this, I went out of my way to help him get out of this hostage situation or whatever. (If we're being honest, the pirates like to put up a bit of a display. It's a thing we all do.)

So, I did as much as I could, even though I had no obligation to help him anymore. I got as much information as possible about his situation, getting insulted in the process. I planned a rescue operation, even though I needed to mend all the relationships that were broken by me moving to my boyfriend's place, basically. Lot of people weren't happy with that, so I had to make a lit of social calls.

I really feel like I did all I could at any point of this situation.

So, Reddit, AITA for getting my ex-boyfriend kidnapped?

[wyked-ao3]

✨OC Reddit AITA Tag✨

Tagged by multiple people but I somehow lost the list so I apologize to yall. Just got retagged for the game by @the-golden-comet here I think @willtheweaver tagged me but my memory is not good at the moment (beginnings of a cold..)

I will do another if I remember when I'm not foggy headed

Rules: Make an Am I The Asshole? post (look at r/amita or r/AITA for examples if you haven’t seen them) for an OC. The community will then vote to see who is the asshole in the given scenario.

Oisìn from TPKODR up since Daimhín can't keep spoilers to himself.... Also there's no computers in my story so yeah this is kinda au on that but umm the rest not so much.

Ps silent Jack is not who he's arguing with silent Jack is mute and trying to be a supportive friend.

AITA for joining the Tarak Fleet?

Hey, I didn't want to post this but Jack insisted via gun that I talk to someone if I won't talk to him. *Nervously glancing across the room.*

So for context, I (21 M) am no longer with the cargo department of the Royal Fleet of Tarak. So I suppose I should begin in the beginning.

To join the fleet you sign a contract and usually if you die before it ends well no harm done or the royals bring you back with necromancy. When I was sixteen my father died in some friendly fire between ships. The day that they notified me and me ma.... they asked if I wanted to join. When I said no they pointed out the location my ma's shop was in could be a dangerous place. ... I joined at sixteen despite the age requirement being higher.. I was promoted to captain by seventeen. Ma passed away and C (18 F and a few members of a pirate crew) blame me joining at all but especially for not leaving when me ma passed. (I had signed for life by that point) I had nothing to return to but I could protect my crew.

I feel that they should understand wanting to protect those that have your loyalty. So, AITA for joining the Tarak Royal Fleet?

Update: example of what C said to me “I'd rather you have joined Davey Jone crew or even the fucking bloodymacrals, they are better than the Tarak royal fleet.” for refrance the bloodymacrals are the sort of pirates that give the others bad names if ya know that I mean.

(they being c )

No pressure Tagging tag list + @jev-urisk & @tragedycoded

@thatuselesshuman @gioiaalbanoart @lychhiker-writes @goth-automaton

@thecomfywriter @evilwriter37 @saebasanart @the-golden-comet

@mauannacreates @kind-lion @alinacapellabooks @kuebiko-writing

@kaeru483 @differentnighttale @theink-stainedfolk @unstableunicornsofasgard

@mysticstarlightduck @demon-sneeze @an-indecisive-nerd @smellyrottentrees

@honeybewrites @pheonix358

[lostnlistening]

Gold (word prompt)

what’s worth more than gold to me?

quiet moments sitting in the sunshine

laughing, dancing, playing in the rain

conversations underneath the stars

a safe embrace that feels like home

a pretty smile

the sly, teasing, maybe even a little shy kind

the wide, genuine, spills out because it can’t be suppressed kind

the soft, lazy, it’s too early in the morning kind

kindness

of strangers coming together for a simple cause

of family knowing when to push and when to give space

of friends offering comfort and safety away from home

humour

in the ridiculous

in the childish

in the sorrow

time

time to figure out what I want from life

to figure out who i want to be

where i wanna go

where i wanna stay

who i wanna find

who i wanna keep

-NTA, 16/07/24

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to steal a kid's pet? WIBTIA for continuing?

That sounds way worse than it is. Please let me explain before judging.

Me (25M*) and my partner (25F*) (we'll call her J) are avid exotic animal collectors (we work for an underground organization). We're usually incredible at catching exotic animals (again, for our work—usually we only keep ones we can handle/we like, and we don't keep too many at a time. Our only consistent companion is a very chatty cat). We're also both incredibly intelligent. So I just can't understand why we can't get this one kid's pet.

The kid (10M), who we'll call A. Ais out on his own and constantly traveling. I couldn't tell you why. Usually he has older kids, what I can only assume are his babysitters. They change every time he travels. I don't know how he gets friends so easily. I'm not especially interested in any of their animals—none are quite as interesting or strong as A's pet. So we only really go after his.

After about fifteen years of doing this to this ten year old kid and successfully capturing his pet exactly ZERO times, J and I are kind of attached to both of them. I know she is, because I know how she gets when she cares about someone.

I think catching A's pet, at this point, is kind of more just a way to stay around him for J and I. Of course we want to succeed and move up at work, and of course we're frustrated by not capturing him for more than like, a week. Ever. But this ten year old has come a long way in the past twenty years.

Recently A has gone on to make a major life achievement award—again, at ten—and I'm just wondering. Are J and I in the wrong for trying to take A's pet? I mean, J insists he's kind of a twerp. If not, would we be in the wrong for keeping it up?

What are these acronyms?

[willtheweaver]

AITA tag

Thanks for the tag @mk-writes-stuff

Round 3. Here it goes:

AITA for lying to my friends

Something on my mind has been nagging me recently. I don’t know who to turn to, and so I am asking you.

I (5 M) am not who I seem to be. I may look like a fox, but that is because I conceal myself. I am in fact a crow. Why the deception? Necessity and survival. I was found in ruins of a burned camp. That presented quite a problem, as birds are not welcomed west of the boundary stones. To many horrors occurred during the Autumn Blood War for there to be a chance of reconciliation. Even so, my mother petitioned the elders (I was a newborn, and according to her, no threat to anyone). After much discussion, they relented. The only thing was that my identity was never to be revealed to anyone outside of my family.

It’s been five years since then. I’ve done my best to keep my identity secret. But now it’s getting harder. I’ve become friends with several youngsters my age. They are so open and honest with me…and here I have, having to lie to them. I just feel bad about it. I know that I would jeopardize my life, but I do not know how much longer I can live with the guilt that comes with deception. But what do you think?

Tagging @paeliae-occasionally @fractured-shield @thewritingautisticat @frostedlemonwriter @sleepy-night-child

@lychhiker-writes @fantasy-things-and-such @smellyrottentrees @oliolioxenfreewrites @tragedycoded and open tag

[bethanydelleman]

AITA for advising my goddaughter not to marry a penniless sailor?

u/PoetryandProse

Looking for an honest opinion here.

Some year ago my best friend died. I am childless unfortunately, but she left behind three daughters, at the time they were E 16, A 14, and M 10. I became something of a mother figure to them, especially to A. We both love poetry and dislike playing cards. Also important: their father is high rank (I can't say what without doxing them).

This year, A was 19. She met a man, W 21, who was in the navy. He had no money, no current posting, and way too much swagger. Imagine my horror when A told me they were engaged! Not only was he far below her in status, but he had no plan to support her as a wife or a mother to their inevitable children. He told me he was "lucky" and he knew he would be rich. As if!

We are at war with France right now! W could get lucky and win huge prize money or he could be unlucky and die. Or come home missing half his limbs, or just never make more than his salary. This is a huge risk for A! And her personal fortune isn't really enough to live on.

So I told her that this was a horrible idea and to break it off. She did. Now A has been really sad and withdrawn, she's even lost weight. I really feel like I made the right decision, but it's hard to see her suffering. AITA?

Top Comment:

u/MiniBabyCakes

Wow, NTA at all!

I don't love the classism in this post, but you care about this girl and you told her some hard truths. She probably isn't ready for the responsibility of being married if she's making these reckless decisions. Especially to accept someone without any money or a job!

Hopefully, A will move on soon and find someone else. All you can do is keep being there for her.

u/BunnyBunBun I don't know, I want more INFO. Did A actually ask for advice or was OP just sticking her nose in without anyone asking? I have a feeling that the class thing is a bigger deal than OP is admitting...

u/Indiana-Dreams Are you saying she's just supposed to stand there and watch a person she cares about ruin her life? And who cares if she's classist, this is a bad move no matter what!

AITA Jane Austen Masterpost

[pluralaita]

AITA for being annoyed at how my friends view my system?

i (adult didsys of ~20) have been dating my partner for around a year, most of my partner’s friends became my friends, as i struggle with making my own friends who i spend time with out of a work environment

however i am a very overt system, and have been told by my therapist that the way i hold my face/voice pitch/body language all change, and my partner and friends are also unfortunately fairly good at telling when i switch

while i am comfortable in being a system, and am fairly confident in how i manage my day to day life with therapy twice a week and a decent grasp on keeping the littles out of front, my friends treat my very much like a system

if i switch, they will sometimes directly ask whos fronting or tell me to update simply plural (usually as a joke), or change the way their speaking to be more age-appropriate or a subject thats more in tune to that alter or whatever

and while i appreciate the effort, i never asked them to do it and i hate it dearly.

i understand i have a disorder that fucks w my personality but i still am one person, and my friends are trying to help and have been so fucking invaluable for the past 9 months as i figure out how to BE a system, i still want to be treated as one person, but idk

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for lying to save my own life?

I (21M) was born with magic powers in a village near a kingdom in which magic is outlawed. Apparently, I’m some long foretold sorcerer with a destiny to protect that kingdom’s prince.

Anyway, I can’t NOT use magic, but also, I HAD to move to that kingdom. Partially because the guy who is teaching me how to control my powers is there, but also because of destiny, apparently.

Yeah. It’s a long story. I found out through a dragon. I have a stupid destiny. But I digress.

I haaated the prince at first, but I’ve really grown to like him and he trusts me a lot. I’m technically his servant, but he lets me get away with a lot and brings me with him into battle. I save his life using magic behind his back, but since, remember, he’s sorta the prince of illegal magic kingdom, I can’t tell him I have magic or he will literally have to kill me!!

Anyway, he’s king now, and I’ve actually had to enchant him before to get him to make the right choice in a battle against his evil half sister. I didn’t feel good about taking away his free will, but he didn’t fully understand the situation. Then again, he couldn’t understand the situation because I refused to tell him. Then again, I refused to tell him because it would involve ADMITTING TO TREASON and GETTING MY HEAD CHOPPED OFF.

I really don’t want my head chopped off.

And I mean, he’s my friend. I like to think he wouldn’t chop off my head.

But I don’t want to make him choose between me and the law—and we are diametrically opposed.

It’s my destiny to protect him, but I don’t only do it because of that. I do it because I care about him, and I couldn’t bear to lose him, and he’s an IDIOT who keeps almost dying, so it��s a good thing he’s got me.

But protecting him involves breaking the law. Hence I must constantly lie to my friend and king, hiding from him a part of myself so innate that I couldn’t get rid of it if I tried. I AM a sorcerer. This fact cannot be erased. It does make me a walking crime though.

I don’t know.

I feel bad for lying, but not for protecting him. And I don’t see any other choice.

AITA?

[roarinsaurus]

AITA for holding a grudge against my roommate for moving out without telling me?

I (25N) had a roommate (??N) for a few months who I let live with me because they needed help finding their footing after getting a work reassignment, which I agreed to help with, too. We got along alright (there was a bit of an Odd Couple thing going on), even though they never paid rent and were always asking me to buy things for them. We were actually really close for how short of a time we lived together. A lot of people commented about how it seemed like we could talk to each other without speaking. My roommate never really talked about their personal life but I didn’t mind since I wasn’t interested in sharing mine. It felt like we had developed a pretty good friendship, especially after experiencing some really intense situations together where we had to stick our necks out for the other a couple times.

Everything was fine but they got really weird after some friend from their past (??N) (I’ll call them S) showed up one day and started doing some dangerous stuff to get their attention (S kidnapped another friend’s teenage nephew, S threatened me with a very big knife). I stood by my roommate through their confrontation with S and we got them to leave for the time being. I thought we’d get closer through the whole ordeal but that night they just left the apartment without any warning and cut me off. The only thing they left was a note telling me they were gone that I found when I woke up.

I ended up tracking them down and they tried to explain that they were trying to keep their past and job away from me because it was too dangerous, but I was hurt because I felt like I had already proven I was capable and thought we had developed a trust. I also found out they had lied about the circumstances that our friendship was based on (they weren’t even on job reassignment, they were fired). I’ve been really mad ever since and have been avoiding talking/being alone with them. When we do talk, it can end up getting really tense. We've attempted to patch things up a couple times, but things keep coming up that bring me back to being mad at them. More recently they had another old friend (??N) come to town and they moved in together immediately. They’re kind of filling the same role I had before and makes me wonder if I was a temporary replacement of some kind.

I’ll admit I can be petty and I’ve been talking about them behind their back to my friends (who we sometimes hang out together with as a group). I’ve also been pushing them about their past more, even in front of our friends (I may have created a bit of a scene when I found out the reason they were fired). Maybe I’m being unfair because I understand not wanting to talk about your past (I haven’t been open about my life before them either). That same day found out they have a degenerative condition that’s been factoring into their behavior and secrecy. Am I being an asshole?