#NOBODY SPEAK TO ME EVER AGAIN
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THEY!!!!!!!! FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!! KISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#NOBODY SPEAK TO ME EVER AGAIN#BROADCAST THIS ACROSS MY GRAVE#HAND OVER MY MOUTH I’M ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING SO DRASTIC#THEY FUCKING KISSED!!!! THEY KISSED!!!!!! THEY KISSED THEY KISSED THEY KISSED#THEY TOLD EACH OTHER THEY LOVED EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY KISSED#AND IT WAS SO TENDER AND SWEET AND ‘I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU’ AND ALL THE ACCEPTANCE THAT COMES WITH#OH I’M NEVER RECOVERING#NEVER EVER EVER#obx spoilers#outer banks spoilers#k chats#k watches#obx 3#jiara#otp: ‘hi’ ‘sup’#otp: nothing to lose
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yknow i decided this is going to be shoved into my wwx drawings now LMAO
i was about to snoreeee mimimimi but then i was imagining this hairstyle on wwx and sat up so fast to draw it.
#not me fucking draw it again AAHGFDHTD#except he has a half ponytail instead lolz#yiling patriarch is like 'hold on guys i need to style my hair first'#i just had a small thought about him letting a-yuan do his hair#nobody speak to me ever again
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hi um. can I add my two cents about 11ponds. to me they are geocentric. 11 is the sun, Amy is earth and Rory is moon but they are inverted. the earth is the centre of the universe that the moon and sun both orbit. it's not ment to be like that, its supposed to be the earth and moon are just a pair orbiting the sun that has many other celestial bodies orbiting it. but. for them it's the other way round. Amy is the centre of Rory's universe, he is married to her, the closest anyone can get. but just past him, orbiting them both is a hunge firey ball of power so incomprehensible he looks small, the same size as them, from the earth's perspective. he orbits around the earth and therefore also the moon, but cannot truly get closer to them because he will burn them up. he can only shine his light and warmth on them, for better or worse. and the whole time, the sun and moon follow the earth across the universe all bound together, untill the sun gets so big and old it swallow them both up, and he has nothing but his memories of them. um.anyway sorry for being so insane I hope this makes sense<3
HELLO?/.????????????????///?????///
#ohhhg my god. oh my god#falls over dead spewing blood everywhere#wwhgoghhh. whgfghknoh#nobody has to say anything ever again we have it. we have the most correct statement ever#WHAT IF WE ALL DIIEDDD#ty so so so much for sharing anon. seriously. this has changed my life forever#elevenponds#doctor who#answered asks#spoop speaks#sun/earth/moon symbolism save me. save me sun/moon/earth symbolism#WHAAAAAAAATH WHAATTT WHATW HWAT WHAT#please anon your insanity. is peak. i hope you knwo#SPIT YO SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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the lack of fandom insanity about aloy hzd is crazy to me.....she was literally born of immaculate conception to be the saviour of a world that doesnt want her. she was the loneliest girl in the world the first and last of her kind. while gay
#she is everything to me!!!!!!!!#went back to my hzd replay and in my feelings currently#also started on burning shores finally and while its good. for reasons known. opening hfw again does remind me#how i feel that it did not do justice to the themes of hzd#manyyyy thoughts on that#one major thing is that the zeniths even existing takes away the fact that up to that point there was absolutely nobody left#from the old world. just recording and emails and broken holograms#not even gaia (!!)#(yes it is very important to me that the gaia in hfw is just a backup copy she is the same program per se but NOT the same gaia#that chose to give life to aloy. out of her love and trust in elisabet. it was actually very impactful imo how that gaia was destroyed#before she could ever speak to aloy. she could nly leave her a message. addressing her as elisabet iirc#which ended on 'i only wish i could hear your voice again' DEAR GOD#anyways the fact that the hfw gaia is NOT the same one. and thats never addressed or anything#just encapsulates the emotional hollowness of hfw compared to hzd#hzd just had this massive all encompasing theme of loneliness. that came together in all aspects of the game#hfw was such a paradigm shift from that it should have been more meaningful#but they got lost in the sauce and ended up with kind of a nothingburger in comparison#hzd was a story hfw was just a game. THERE!!#wow this turned into kind of a rant anyways. aloy girl of all time!!!!#hzd#hfw#aloy
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NOT TO ALARM ANYONE BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MYYYY VICTOR VALE I WILL FLING MYSELF OFF A CLIFF
#will be walking around with a black veil to mourn my husband#nobody better ever speak to me AGAIN#i'm losing my mind#already#AASRRRRRJRUUUHHHHH#victor vale#vicious#vengeful#victorious#villains series#v.e. schwab
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One time I was talking to someone who told me they had listened to preacher’s daughter but only as background music. Personally I throw up and eat fistfuls of glass every time it plays but you know, its like, totally chill, whatever.
#not to sound like someone who spends too much time on tumblr#but it genuinely astounds me when i think about how most people just consume media and move on#like ummmmmmmm#the number of songs i listen to where im genuinely writhing around my bed with my hands over my face#the number of times ive read a book and silently screamed into the void of my bedroom#the number of times ive actually had to pause a film to mutter ‘oh my fucking god. oh my fucking god’#mu goodreads review for a book will be ‘nobody ever speak to me again im going to lie in a hole and die a slow death’#and a middle aged man called simon will say it was ‘a pretty decent book’#ethel cain#preachers daughter
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Not sneeze just mental health rambling in the tags
#I’ve spent a very long time trying to change my brain so I can just operate at a neurotypical level#it’s always been impossible and I feel like shit for it#so recently I finally just said#I am not neurotypical and never will be no matter what I do!#so I need to be kind to myself and make the accommodations I need for myself!#which is a work in progress but idk. it’s kind of painful that the neurotypical people in my life act like I’m asking for an arm and a leg#when I’m very genuinely asking if slight changes could be made between us#I absolutely don’t expect anyone to change their lifestyle for me or anything#it’s stuff like not holding long conversations when I’m in the middle of writing because it messes up my flow#and I tell my family beforehand! hey I’m gonna write for a couple of hours does anyone need anything from me before#and they say no! but then ten minutes later will start telling me a story about their day#which I’m okay to hear BEFORE I start a writing session or AFTER#and I goddamn communicate that!!! but they act like I’m asking for nobody to ever speak to me again#another thing is that I CANNOT eat anything past an expiration date#I know it’s still probably good but my brain will just keep saying YOURE GONNA DIE OF FOOD POISONING#so say the half gallon of milk is past its date#I will buy a fresh one to start using myself but I don’t toss the old one because I know others don’t care as much#and they they complain that I’m wasting milk#like I’m sorry it’s 1) my money and 2) how is it being wasted when y’all are happy to drink it til it’s done?#idk man!! neurotypical people sure do say that shit should be easy for neurodivergent people#but they sure do struggle to be slightly accommodating without bitching#idk rant over peace out
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every time i remember "ingo is an ascian/ancient who literally forgot everything about that" it still kills me. so much staying power in the idea of the protagonists rocking up to ishgard having the worst day of their lives and there's a fucking ASCIAN just chilling waiting for them and they're like fucking dammit now we have to deal with THIS. and then he's not. like he's literally just chilling. he is so very much just some guy. and they're like why the fuck are you dressed like an evil wizard then and he's like they're comfy robes :(
#swift plays ff14#the nemesis speaks#not that it makes sense for ingo to be dressed like an ascian if he is in fact the watcher as previously proposed#but this is so hysterical to me so idc. slight amendment to fashion senses that's just how all ancients dressed forever#so like naturally ingo wouldn't wanna change. ancients famously don't like having more than like#2 outfits conceptually and generally just the one#venat and themis greatest rebels ever wearing (checks notes) the same ass robe but in white#anyway the other slightly less funny more serious part 2 is irida pulling the thordan Thing w/ the eye#becoming a vessel for palkia etc. diff motives obviously but same outcome#and this completely destroys ingo naturally. bc he doesn't remember it but it's just his brother leaving him all over again#this would also be the point where the protags actually buy that he really isn't an evil space wizard#because he is IMMEDIATELY kill-it-with-fire the SECOND he sees a primal. not exactly ascian behavior#anyway. meaningless rambling over#edit: oh yeah they also find out then that he's immune to tempering which is like ok you're not evil but that's goddamn weird#but nobody has much time to properly register or consider it bc. they are fighting evil dragon irida. not much time to pause and chat
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tiktok needs to stop showing me videos of americans moving to china im too easily influenced
#speak friend and enter#if it weren't for my plans to move back to chi i would 100% be considering it. i would move to china in a heartbeat do not test me#if the opportunity arose nobody stateside would ever hear from me again. trust. 你好 中国 我来了
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that p17 -> p1 was indeed phenomenal.
#with that being said nobody talk about f1 near me ever again i'm punching the wall right now in the slash derogatory way not the slash happy#this race DRAINED ME#f1#river-speaks
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the horrors persisting
#the horrors aka bone deep insecurity and being so tired of everything ever that it makes me sick#do you ever want to rip your skin off because you hate everything about yourself#the way you speak and look and act in public and talk to people and the way your brain works and your habits and just. everything#i can’t explain it i just hate being me so so so much nothing can ever change it#no matter what people tell me or what i tell myself it will never go away i just want to like#restart#or take my brain out and clean it and put it into a new body and start all over again#and uni just 💔💔💔💔 is so hard and being an adult is so hard and im never gonna get a job i think and the earth is ANGRY!! at us for destroyin#it and people are dying and being murdered and men are STILL awful and only getting worse and#women are supposed to be beautiful but why do i even have to be beautiful in the first place why#can’t i just be a person and nobody wants to make real friends and the sense of community is being lost nearly everywhereeee and groceries#are three thousand dollars and everything just sucks it sucks so so bad#and im sick of pretending im just whatever about it or that im okay or whatever like noooo im not happy im miserable ive been that way for#years im angry and upset 24/7 and im not the best person i could be by a long shot and im just not good#and im sorta tired of ppl acting like i am too like no im really not#im about to log off tumblr for good#maybe i just need to go outside#idk#♡ dear diary…
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as if today wasn't bad enough on its own with the hour + of crying and migraine and pissy ass immature asshole boss i had to listen to my coworkers (all of whom have kids) talk about how fine it is to hit your kid in the face "as long as it was with an open palm and doesn't leave a mark that lasts for more than 48 hours" so umm. actually i don't even know what to say about that what a deranged way to approach having a child
#i guess former coworker whos now back at nursing school was upset because she hit her kid in the face for not doing some chores or something#and was talking to current coworker who “reassured” her with the above information on how to properly hurt your child#INSANE. GET ME OUT OF HERE#have fun never speaking to your children again as soon as they can gtfo of your control. ask me how i know this will happen#i can't believe i didn't quit today i literally thought i wasnt going to be able to stop crying and it was just going to be a full breakdown#WISH i had quit quite honestly i just looked at my bank account and i have just barely enough for two months rent (and nothing else lmao)#so hypothetically i could quit immediately and have some time to get another job but these goddamn fucking employers are so algorithm pilled#and not actually looking at resumes unless they ping the fucking robot or what the hell ever that idk if i could get even the most shitty#dishwasher job or whatever. i literally would rather wash dishes than put up with this shit#if i do it at a hospital it probably would even have benefits#“get a bachelor's degree” they said “you won't have a hard time finding a job” they said#“nobody wants to work anymore” they said and#“everyone is hiring you just have to apply” they insisted. die#me
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everytime I think even just a little bit that I'm starting to sort of get better at speaking aloud, somebody will say something horrible to me about my voice and ruin everything
#im so glad i don't have to speak aloud on yhe internet. i will only ever share my voice with internet people that are extremely accepting#but in real life i have no choice but to speak aloud and it is desroying me. im trying so hard to get better at speaking#i have gotten better in some areas. my pronunciation of words is better than when i was a kid i think!#thr only words i think i mispronounce often are actually sort of simple ones like 'the' or 'that'#the one thing ill never ever be able to get rid of is the stuttering#and ill never be able to change that i just . sound autistic i guess?#i dunno i get called retarded for my voice but also. i get retarded for everything i do#thank you classmates. i am going to kill myself#is anybody out there reading this? if you are are you familiar with any ways to get rid of stuttering#i have stuttered for my whole life#and i get made fun of it all the time#but when i ask how to stop nobody ever helps me#ive tried so hard to stop!! i dont wanna stutter#and also i think just the way my voice sounds and the volume which i speak at is part of the problem#again those are things i don't know how to change . i don't know#im never gonna have a voice im comfortable with huh#why am i lying in bed abd typing a tumblr vent post again im so sick of this#maybe i should just stop speaking at all#im only going to communicate through meows now#meow meow meow. meow#i can't stop thinking about my voice and how much i hate it and how much everyone else hates it. bleh#throat hurts for some reason but i dunno why#i thinj im going to avoid speaking aloud from now on because its not worth the pain#life sucks#so much. so fucking much
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sponge .. boobs ?
I DIDNT NOTICR IT WAS BOOB I THOUGHT IT WAS BOB PLEASEEE
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me like “men are so scared of ME” turns out I’m the one afraid of them.
#lol#I mean actually I’m not#but I am scared of being vulnerable with them#and that’s just the simple truth#I am not scared of THEM per se#as I keep joking (maybe inappropriately idk) I’m one convent visit away from never speaking to another one again#anyway I just have been realizing more and more that I love to hide behind the narrative that like. no one ever approaches me#and I’m the anti Helen of Troy#and there’s some truth to that!#most men aren’t going to like what they find (romantically speaking) in me and I know that before they speak to me#but I love to be like ‘when will someone straightforwardly express their interest in me. guess it will never be me boo-hoo’#and it’s like. Maria. they have. not in droves! ain’t nobody shooting themselves in the street for me#to paraphrase my fair lady#but it’s happened!!! on more than one occasion!!! and looking back the signs are unmistakable#and my impenetrable wall of blindness has protected me from admitting that that has ever happened to me#anyway#lots of reflecting
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god sometimes i wish the whole "you wouldn't say/do that to a physically disabled person" lie that certain mentally ill people say was true bc i fucking WISH i could use "I'm in a wheelchair" as a gotcha for people being ableist against me. unfortunately,
#so my psych that I'm dropping the SECOND i get a new (better) one#like that whole facility. they DO have telehealth/video appointments#but they fucking?????? make the PATIENT DRIVE TO THE BUILDING FOR THE APPOINTMENT#WHILE THE DOCTOR IS AT FUCKING HOME. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO INTO HER OFFICE WHEN SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE?????#like it's actually fucking ridiculous AND they NEVER get interpreters when requested AND they ONLY allow to schedule by PHONE#like- my Deaf mother literally physically cannot communicate with them because they refuse to speak to a video phone interpreter#or let her talk to them in person or via email. it actually pisses me off so fucking much#and like. most doctors offices. if you're late they give you 15 minutes before they declare you a no show and cancel#that place gives FIVE MINUTES. i walked in SIX MINUTES LATE one day and BEGGED them to just let me do the appointment#and they still refused#so i was out of meds for like. two weeks. anyway#the last straw was the last TWO times i went i was in my wheelchair#and the doors. open inwards to the rooms#so they closed me in the room for the appointment#and i PHYSICALLY COULDN'T GET OUT because i COULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR because there wasn't enough wheelchair space#and i had to frantically text my mom to let me out and SHE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT when i was SOBBING#bc i had tried genuinely screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out of the room but nobody fucking heard me#and the second time i told the nurse 'HEY I CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY CHAIR' and she was like 'don't worry I'll come get you'#she never did. i had to get my mom again#not fucking going back there ever again they've only ever pissed me off more with every single interaction#oh also they only let you schedule new appointments after they SEND YOU A LETTER SAYING YOU CAN CALL TO SCHEDULE NOW#if you call before then they DON'T LET YOU#and they give literally fucking 3-5 day later appointments when I've requested SEVERAL times I NEED A TWO WEEK NOTICE FOR WORK#also they don't give a shit about cutting you off your medicine cold turkey and not refilling it until several requests later#fuck that place. i hope every good doctor there finds a better job and the building gets abandoned and crumbles to the ground.
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