#Modern relationships

[kristingelatin]

[alwaysbewoke]

this is why prenups are important because you have to leave her. she's not an adult. she's a child in an adult body who wants this guy to just be a walking, talking atm machine with a dick. she's clearly contributing nothing but wants him to work himself to death so that she can have a social media worthy life. this is why men need to continue asking "what does she bring to the table?" or they will find themselves in this situation.

[guavagyal]

I'm at a point in my life where romantic and smutty fanfictions make more sense than dating people.

in fanfictions, I don't have to deal with some grown ass adult making me feel bad for me wanting to spend time with them, humbling me, projecting their insecurities onto, or being pushy about sex. it's honestly sad that I haven't experienced real love & intimacy with anyone I've dated but I can experience that in a fanfiction.

I know I should hold out hope that I will meet someone who can have me feel butterflies & safe around them, but I'm pessimistic with my dating experiences so far.

[blrrblog]

Breadcrumbs

Do you not feel weary, worn thin by the tides of life?

Used, like a well-read book with dog-eared pages, its spine creased from countless hands that sought solace within its chapters?

Hurt, as if your heart bears the weight of ancient stones, each one etched with memories of joy and sorrow?

Or even remorse, a haunting echo of choices made, the paths taken and those left behind?

Perhaps the most profound love you'll ever know is the love you give, freely and unreservedly.

In the tender moments when you extend your hand, offering warmth to a stranger on a cold day.

Or when you listen, truly listen, to a friend's troubles, your heart a sanctuary for their pain.

Time and time again, you give, like a river flowing ceaselessly, nourishing the soil of human connection.

Just as you falter and stumble upon the uneven ground, it's as if all this time you've been following a trail of breadcrumbs —

Tiny morsels of affection you call "love”.

Chloe Rosario, 2024

[maisycoded]

“ The Problem With Modern Queer Romance: Toxicity, Why Doesn’t Anyone Address It?”, (2024)

TW: Mentions of forms of abuse and over all problematic relationships and behaviors:

As the new year is coming to a close, us people in the lgbtq+ community and especially in queer relationships no matter if it’s wlw, t4t, platonic to poly need to seriously reevaluate how in our community it seems we have really normalized both blatant and causal toxicity amongst our selves. We always (and rightfully so) normalize queer intimacy, dynamics especially kink and being more open to being just not one set thing no matter if it’s a relationship or personal identification.

But while that is all said and good, people never seem to talk about how most people just have accepted or normalized toxicity ranging from partners being jerks, cheating, abuse ranging from physical, mental, sadly even sexual to substance abuse and various other horrible things. And I think people, in particular modern queer youth and adults (especially us now in our early to almost late twenties) fail to understand that having a partner or partners or what ever you want to label it is still a RELATIONSHIP.

And sure it’s ok to have a relationship just basted on sex or if you have a kink for that or just wanting to be someone’s puppy, kitten or what ever makes you happy in that regard and everyone is consenting and having conversations to make sure it’s healthy and safe. Besides that people need to understand it’s more than just being gay or having gay sex, it’s about getting to know each other, going out on adventures, actually having a bond and sharing interests and actually learning about one or other and especially MAKING SURE IT’S HEALTHY AND YOI GROW BOTH ON YOUR OWN OR WITH EACH OTHER!!!!

NO, them hitting, cheating on you, manipulating or developing a relationship basted on drugs and various other things that is not moderated and is just abused and justified to a point where when questioned or shown concern by others people or said persons say “ oh you just don’t understand, you don’t get us” is NOT A RELATIONSHIP AND YOU NEED TO SEEK HELP OR FIND POSITIVE PEOPLE TO COMMUNICATE TO AND GET HELP!

NO, it’s not ok to go back to your ex or a polycule or what ever the case may be when they have done actual legit harm to you! If it’s not “ oh we just met at the wrong time and we had to take space to grow up or we decided to take a brake to work on ourselves to be better and positive partners to get back in a relationship and instead it’s “ Omg, so when I was with them they would like hit me for not understanding an interest or accidentally doing something wrong or I didn’t do something for them and they also didn’t value my consent or boundaries…..but they are soooo hot and I miss them especially after my friends and close circles told me no and I said they are right I’m still going for it because that’s what queer love is!!!!” NO THE FUCK IT’S NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND FUCKING NO, it is not ok to idolize toxicity from media or look at a character from said media especially if you say “ugh they are so me” and use that analysis about yourself or if it pertains to your partner or even partners. It’s one thing as a passive or just a joke in some way but if your saying shit like “ Omg my bf, gf, or any identification says they are like Scott Pilgrim or Ramona Flowers or hell any toxic person or even queer person from ( insert media with those issues here)” is not ok because in you doing that you are not making a joke about yourself because it’s not based on a truth or just a tendency that’s being acknowledged that you do that your trying to work on not doing and being a better person. YOU ARE PROJECTING TOXICITY AND NORMALIZING IT THROUGH A CONNECTION WITH MEDIA THAT’S SO FUCKING UNHEALTHY AND NO ONE FINDS IT CUTE OR QUIRKY, IF THAT’S ALL YOU GET FROM SAID THING THEN YOU LACK MEDIA ANALYSIS AND LITERACY!!!!!

AND THAT GOES ALSO TO TRAUMA BONDING, GASLIGHTING AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS YOUNG QUEER LOVE IN THIS MODERN TIME IS VALIDATING!

No matter what relationship, it is a building exercise with each other, a learning experience and especially a commitment. And in these times we live in post election, it’s going to be hard for a while and we need to love the people who we want to spend our time and lives with. But with that comes a truth we need to understand, we can normalize poly dynamics, kink, and being outside the norm, but we need to also normalize being in healthy commitments and if you or someone isn’t in one it’s not ok and especially if you want to get help for it there are many options especially outside of of the usual psa level stuff you hear on the news or some places online.

Talk to friends, meet other people who are posting and talk about your dynamic and see what can be done better and maybe if you have the resources to get therapy or professional help if you trust it yourself then please do that. And if you can’t find someone or anyone to help, but the fact that it’s now a normality is really concerning. It’s not gay af to be suffer and being mentally not ok with someone or people who make you worse or you do it to others, it should be normal to be loved, both in a healthy and positive way.

[beatleshalloween]

A very sweet McStarr!

Taking place in 2024, the two sole surviving Beatles return to the band's old retreat for their queer affairs together.

The place is a flood of memories, a time and love, long passed!!!

[a-b-erracja]

for his bday i wish him to have everything that he’d ever wanted

and that it still won’t be enough

[internetoasis]

White Lotus: Fogo Island

The ferry ride to Fogo Island was nauseating, as all transformations tend to be. I’d packed my best linen for Clara’s wedding and left my divorce papers unsigned on the kitchen table, figuring if I didn’t make it back, someone would know what to do.

Fogo greeted us like a postcard someone forgot to send—jagged cliffs, endless sea, a wind that didn’t care for your plans. The inn stood like a sculpture: expensive, remote, almost arrogant in its beauty. Like it knew it was the end of the world and was fine being last.

Most of the guests were younger than me. Beautiful. In love, or at least trying hard enough to make it believable on Instagram. Clara floated in white and champagne like she’d never cried in a shower, and I felt glad for her. Honestly. I’m still capable of that.

I met Margot on the second night, over halibut cheeks and a red so light it felt dishonest. Her husband, Frank, was already half-asleep in a leather chair by the fire, muttering to no one. He looked like a retired dentist. Always a glass in hand, the kind of man who needed a witness more than a partner.

Margot was beautiful, in that timeless way women are when they’ve stopped trying to be noticed. A silk scarf, the faintest perfume of cedar, a beautiful Cartier watch adorning her delicate wrist. The only thing out of place was a cheap looking tattoo of what looked to be half an avocado on her wrist. I was surprised she was with him. You think that at first, don’t you?

She caught me looking—not at her, at him—and smiled like she’d already forgiven me for the judgment.

"Frank used to be charming," she said, which is what people say when they want you to stop asking. But I didn’t.

We saw more of each other over the next few days. Early risers. Wanderers. The types who don’t do well with too much unstructured time.

On the fourth morning, I snuck away from yet another mandatory wedding brunch and texted Margot to meet me by the cliffs. We sat on the chairs and looked out onto the waves. There was mist in the air that wasn’t rain, not really. It just lingered. Frank was off on a “hike” with the concierge. We both knew what that meant: someone was making sure he didn’t fall into the sea.

I asked, carefully, how she ended up with him.

She looked out for so long I thought she hadn’t heard.

“I loved someone once,” she said eventually. “Very deeply. The way you can only love when you don’t yet know what it costs.”

I didn’t say anything.

“He lived in darkness,” she continued. “Not in a basement or anything. Just... inside. One of those beautiful, aching men. He felt everything too much, and nothing at all. You know the type?”

I did.

“I thought I was too clever to ever find myself trying to save a man so I didn’t even really notice when I started putting my life on hold, thinking my attention and support could pull him back. That if I loved him well enough, long enough, he’d come out of it. Choose the love that existed in front of him instead of chasing the love he never got. But he didn’t. He chose the emptiness. Over and over. He loved it more, I guess.”

She exhaled, slowly.

“Some women pour their love into a vessel that can’t hold it,” she said. “And you still both end up depleted.”

There was no bitterness in her voice. Just facts, like reading a weather report.

Her smile returned. “I overcorrected, I suppose. Now I give physically. I cook, I organize, I smile at dinners. But emotionally? Nothing is required. I can’t be let down in the ways that I was.”

She glanced back toward the inn, where Frank’s silhouette was wobbling along the boardwalk.

“Plus,” she added, “the views aren’t bad.”

We sat in silence a while.

“I think we all make our calculations,” she said at last. “And then we do what we can to survive.”

That night at the wedding, Clara danced barefoot on the stoney ground. Everyone clapped when she kissed her new husband under string lights that flickered like they weren’t sure they had enough electricity to last. I drank too much and didn’t care.

Margot and Frank left early. He was already dozing in the van before it pulled away. She waved at me from the window. I waved back, not sure if she saw.

The wind came up again, colder this time. Somewhere offshore, the tide turned. I stood alone for a while, letting it hit my face.

And I thought: some people trade passion for peace. Some trade peace for passion. Most of us? We just want to stop hurting.

And the views really were spectacular.

[niggadiffusion]

Comfortable

I just wanna get close to you,

Burn one slow,

Listen to you talk 'bout your day,

Let me show you the real me,

I’m here to treat you like the king you are,

No game, just honesty—

Let me explore my talents,

Make you fall so deep,

You won’t need no other dude,

Yeah, I’m cocky, I claim my space,

Always going after what I want,

No matter how you think,

You’re gonna like me—

Don’t get comfortable.

Too many missed chances,

Now you’re here, lost in my wake,

Don’t get too comfortable.

Loyal to myself—

Ain’t no telling what you’ll do,

Loving nobody but me,

That’s crystal clear,

I ain’t got no reason to adjust,

If you won’t change for me,

I’ll stay true to myself—

That’s self-explanatory.

What’s it mean

When you come at me with a dream,

But don’t live up to the standards?

Expect me to believe your lies,

When your truth is a facade—

I’ve been there, played that part,

Had my heart broken,

Cried those nights,

Thought I’d never survive—

But that soldier in me,

He wiped my tears,

Showed me my blessings,

I’ll meet the guy who loves me for me,

But nah, that ain’t you—

Just another fuck boy,

Playing in the shadows,

You don’t even notice,

I don’t call you ‘til it’s night,

Or when the liquor speaks,

And I’m just ready for the pipe.

I wish we could be more,

But this is just for the night.

Loyal to myself—

Ain’t no telling what you’ll do,

Loving nobody but me,

That’s crystal clear,

I ain’t got no reason to adjust,

If you won’t change for me,

I’ll stay true to myself—

That’s self-explanatory.

They warned you once,

Don’t chase the waterfalls,

You’re stubborn, you don’t listen,

Now you wonder where I’ve gone,

I saw it coming,

You wouldn’t hear it,

So I’m flying with the next cloud,

Hope you realize,

You just lost the best now.

I wish we could be more,

But you’re done like the rest now.

[guavagyal]

at some point as an adult, you realize dating isn't worth it because a majority of people need to be on some illicit substance to get through the day and only narcissists get love in this hyper individualistic society

[akeliciousmedia]

Toke Makinwa Says, “If You Can’t Pay Her Bills, Leave—There’s Another Guy Who Will”

In a recent episode of her podcast, Toke Moments, popular media personality Toke Makinwa shared her thoughts on societal expectations surrounding relationships, urging singles to maintain their standards when choosing a partner. Makinwa emphasized that individuals should not feel compelled to compromise their preferences due to societal pressure. She argued that it’s acceptable for a woman to…

[discoveringpolyamory]

"Primary"

A "main" partner to whom you are more committed than other people you see

Many people dislike this term as they believe hierarchical relationships are inherently unfair. But for others, it clarifies to potential partners how much time and energy they have for them. 

This term is often used by couples who have opened up to polyamory together. When you share things with one partner, such as home ownership or childrearing, they will often, by necessity, have to take priority over others.

(Discover more at DiscoveringPolyamory.com)

[chai-ing-my-best]

tfw the ex of my situation-ship is lowkey trynna be friends bc you were kinda friends like 5 years ago before covid ruined that opportunity and you can't tell whats going on between them but you know she prefers girls 🤨

[blrrblog]

The 5-5-5 rule

I like to think the best way to understand someone is to go through their tumblr page. Lucky for me, no one else I know uses this platform. Barely anyone does these days.

When i used to date around, guys would ask me, “So, what are you into? What do you do?” And I would say, as per usual, “I do art. But I also write, and I post them on tumblr.”

Now here’s where it gets funny. 9 times out of 10 they’d respond with, “Tumblr? People still use that?” Or something along the lines of that.

At this point I don’t know what to answer, and I never knew how to. Because in a very literal sense, yes, Lukas, people still use Tumblr. Or else it wouldn’t exist anymore. And no, I don’t care if you think it’s old. You’re not half as intellectual as I am and that’s the very reason why I agreed to this date so it wouldn’t trigger my debilitating fear of commitment and control issues. Neither of us give that much of a shit about what we like, don’t get so ahead of yourself.

Now, while that’s all happening inside my head, I’m just blindly staring at him with a half-smile as a response. And before I even realise I look as autistic as I feel on the inside, Lukas is already mansplaining the aerodynamics of a Boeing and how tough his physics major is.

1 out of 10 Lukas’s would actually ask for my Tumblr page so he could read it and understand how to better manipulate me as I find another blonde Spaniard to get re-colonised by.

From that, there is also a 1 out of 10 chance that Lukas actually does appreciate literature and artistic expression, and sees it as a way to understand the overall human condition in whatever ass-fuck the year 2025 is. But I wouldn’t know, because one of us would’ve been out of the picture by then.

It’s not all that extreme of course. Lukas doesn’t even exist and you’re reading words off of your screen typed by a young adult woman at the ass crack of dawn, who lies for the fun of it because of her stubborn philosophy that ‘reality is what you decide is real’ — some fuck ass one-liner she came up with to justify lying for one sentence of poetic beauty. And I decide that this is a very real narrative with real emotions and real words, and fictional people and over-exaggerated experiences. If we didn’t feel the need to over-explain art forms because of whatever genius came up with “cancel culture”, the world would arguably be a much better place. Maybe not better, but with slightly higher media literacy.

Maybe the whole point is to do what you want to do, enjoy it (and actually enjoy it), and look good doing it. And even if you don’t enjoy it at the moment, stay knowing that you will in 5 minutes when he pays the bill and you just got your 5th free dinner of the week, and it’s only Friday.

[swingosphere]

Why More Couples Are Exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy in 2025

🔄 Monogamy or Non-Monogamy? Let’s talk about it! In 2025, more couples than ever are exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)—but why? 👀

A few decades ago, the idea of open relationships, polyamory, or swinging was reserved for hushed conversations, underground communities, or scandalous headlines. Now? It’s all over social media, relationship podcasts, and even Hollywood. Ethical non-monogamy is becoming more mainstream. Couples from all walks of life, whether married, dating, straight, queer are all openly questioning whether…

[victorconsults]

Redefining Love: Embracing Modern Relationships