#Man he just wants to grill /ref | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

that-one-weeb-but-it-transformer · 3 years ago

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Optimus with an artist human s/o

I must do the drawing is your always mood

But with art block half the time your chucking your shit out the window

He was there to actually pick up Jack, because Arcee was out on a mission with bulkhead you skipped class so you sat there sketching him, bee, and wheeljack

Couldn't get the grill right so you oh so casually went up and rubbed your hand against it

"Oh...so in....that looks right..."

Taking pictures for reference

"Can I help you-" "oh shit-"

It was just jack

"Sorry was taking refrence photos. Is this your truck?" "Uh...yeah..." "Can I get and interior shot?" "Maybe another day?"

Ayo Optimus not noisy but he kinda wanted to see them drawings

Turns out Arcee was out longer than expected and the next day you were there again and so was he because Jack was so nice and let you take some refrence photos of the outside you slipped a drawing through the open window with a thank you note and went about you way.

Hah. Not Knockout and breakdown thinking your an ally to the autobots and basically snatching you like they snatchin someones weave

"Ayo can I draw you-" "Bitch im litterally kidnapping you" "....okay so can I take some ref picks atleast? Please?" "...well shit you said please"

Not you having fun being kidnapped

"Damn I look good. Whats your name human?" "Y/n" "and why is such a fabulous artist with the autobots?" "The who?"

Oh. You- oh...oh shit.....

Not knockout dropping you off at your house and grtting your # ya'll buddies now

You despite being kidnapped for two days just show up again randomly and walk up to Jack.

"Yeah can I see the inside your truck no pictures no anything, just. Real quick?" "Sure?"

Oh shit your sitting in a transformer.

"Okay I know about your talking alien car that transformers into a huge robot"

Bam friends now now you go to the base everyday

Ratchet wasnt very Happy till he realized you were just extremely quiet. And YES he could work in peace

Often you sketch the autobots forms.

"Wow! Thats real detailed!" "Holy shit miko-"

You often let her go through your sketch book.

"This is a lot of-" "Shhhhh"

It was alot of Optimus: you dont know why to be honest it was like he your comfort person to draw

You've probably had every expression of his in your books, sketches of...well everything.

Mhmm those hip sketches somethin else dude

"I made my first art based Tarot card deck!"

Smokescreen realizes there based off them and is obsessed with his tarot card desgin (the sun card because come on its Smokescreen)

Optimus even compliments you on them and ask you about them you happily explain them to him

You tell him you based him in the Justice card and told him it was pretty explaintory

He told you he was honored that you seen him such a light, and there you go getting all flustered and complimenting him back

Arcee wants to know why shes the hanged man but your too busy being flustered

Now often he'll wander up behind you looking over your shoulder why you sketch away.

"What are you drawing today y/n-" "Ah! nothing! Nothing at all! Hah! Ha...."

Not more optimus hip images: they're just too fine not to draw

Despite being well Optimus he's very innocent and would simply see them as anatomy drawings

But they aint....you know that

For that reason: you refused to draw Optimus (or his hips) anymore and now your crying inside but tiding to have will power

HOT ANIME GUY POWER; drawing hot anime guys to leed your mind occupied but you just make Human Prime and your crying and screaming without the s.

Miko, knows because you forgot your bag at her house one time

"Damn man you got it bad." "I know..."

Luckily ratchet sees Vaule in your skills and ask you to draw out invention plans you say yes immediately

With Ratchet asking for help your around the base more often, sketching out plans for him

Which means you and Optimus talk alot more

He finds your conversations relaxing

You often fall asleep at the small table, after finishing plans and starting on your own work, usually homework

So that means he sees your litrle fifth grade crush drawings, you know with lopsided hearts and all luckily you know better to draw Human like alien robots in your notebook so he only sees the O + F/i surronded in hearts

He doesnt know why but now he's gotta talk to you more: its a now or never situation.

"Y/n-" "It wasnt me!-" "would you like to go home to rest?" "Um. Yeah that sounds great"

Optimus now drives you home everyday, and picks you up from school instead of you just riding with Bee and Raff

Litterally a dream come true on your part and on his part

Is it akward silence? Or do you both just think its awkward silence making it more awkward

Asking Ratchet to describe how the iacon archives use to look and sketching it out and giving it to Optimus

"Im not sure I got the file cases right. I had Ratchet describe the your world to me as best I could.

It was perfect to him, and he thanked you for it, it never leaves his glove box

Usually because your an artist your dressed in clothes that have paint stains, perhaps the back of your shirt is hand painted or your old converse.

Yet you had a presentantion you had to get dressed up for, for school, in a knitted pencil like skirt and a knitted sweater with some boots

He couldnt pick you up or drive you to school that day so Wheeljack went with you instead and Smokescreen picked you up

Not wheeljack bragging trying to get Optimus to confess that you look rather hot that day.

Turns out when Optimus returned to base he'd be blown away by your change in outfit.

"How'd it go!"

"All the energon secured. There was no doubt after all!" Wheeljack laughed, "Right Optimus."

You looked at him with such a big smile and eyes he only nodded with a smile

Wheeljack drove you home: saying the boss was tired and just like he had hoped you left your bag in his back seat

Now Miko and Wheeljack both have the power to tease you

Not Optimus seeing where you work and creating a holo form to go and see you

"Hm? Y/n?" The employee asked, "Yeah shes in right now there doing a study. Come on I'll take you there."

When he said study he thought idk maybe like with a book. Not figure studies, you know the ones where your naked

So he was not expecting to walk in with people surrounding you as you sat laid on a couch with a thin sheet covering your lower hips down, top bare and a hand propping your head up.

Poor baby had to stand there for twenty mintues attempting not to stare at you

But time was called and you got up going to dress again.

"Ayo n/n." "Hm?" "This guys here for you."

You only smiled hoping it was an art scout as you apologized for your current state and fixed yourself.

"Hello Im Y/n!" "I...I know..."

Voice sounded oddly familiar

"Do...I know you from....Wait a mintue!"

Pretty easy to figure it out, "stay there!"

He only listened as you rushed to your bag, flipping through the pages of one of your sketch books and lifted it up besides him.

"Its...Op-"

"I believe Orion- would be a better choice sounds more human."

Your weezing; hes evern prettier as a human

"I had no idea...you could..." "its older technology but works well." "Ah... I see..."

Thank god for being 18...primus hes just so pretty

"Um...I have to go pick up my work bag...do you wanna come along?"

Not you guys having a moment in the locker room where you told each other your feelings.

Making out in the locker room super softly? Absolutely.

Making out in his Alt form? Even a bigger yes, especially if hes dropping you off at your house

But its best to keep it a secret

Miko and Wheeljack notices that the teasing doesnt get to Y/n anymore and Miko realizes you stopped drawing Optimus and some human guy now. What a bummer

They realize Optimus does seem to have a much brighter glow to him, and he always lightly smells like something fimilar.

*cough* your perfume *cough*

"Is Y/n okay?" "What would be the problem?" "Shes always in a daze these days."

It true, drawings and plans you offered to help ratchet draw out are completed but sometimes you dont even remember drawing them or the process.

"Hmm? Yeah....I don't really care....whatever you want Miko." "Um Im jack and Im asking for the science text book back." "What!? Oh- sorry!"

"Ah Miko! Isnt the world so bright today!" "Its raining outside Y/n-" "Lets go run in it!" "What-"

You've never been so happy, even around finals your kicking your feet like a schook girl

It causes everyone great fear,

Not Optimus sneaking out of base to help you sneak out of your house so you guys can go have fun in some forest.

Refused to go into your room, its your private space but you convinced him anyways and well...its chaotic organization.

You show him around, pointing out things to him that your super proud of.

Ends in you guys on your bed trying to be quiet as you laugh with each other.

Falling asleep in his arms for the first time is wonderful

Not he leaving a jacket behind for you to wear and you do just around the house it did have the autobot insignia on it after all.

Sleeping prime refrence photos if you wake up before he has to leave

Can dance surprisingly well, and he'll go dancing with you in abanded parking buildings

You couldnt find a more perfect boyfriend

Finds a way to go to every art gallery your in.

You often do peices based on the bots and there stories, like a verbal reference

Some of your paintings worry him: you always reassure him you cant always have a happy peice but your happy to have him

Old people think your both just the sweetest couple

Until your parents pull up and your not a couple anymore, you try and keep it a secret from everyone and ya'll manage

Your parents like him upon introductions that you are both friends

Your dad's actaully a greek philosopher, and gets along very well with Optimus, he did introduce himself as Orion after all.

Life is good for the both of you

#transformers #tfp #tfp headcanons #transformersprime #tfp optimus prime #tfp fanfic #tfp fic #transfomers prime #transformers prime Optimus #optimus headcannons #optimus x reader

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efingart · 3 years ago

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Strays, Bruises and Burgers

Ao3 Link

Frank Woods

March 19, 1948, Philadelphia, Penn, USA

Sweat, spit, and blood spray hit the canvas. The big man staggered and fell face-first into it. His shoulders flexed as he tried to push himself up, but he couldn’t muster the strength. He was done. And he flopped back down again.

Frank stood over him, catching his breath, muscles still tensed, hands still up. Then he’s pulled back into reality as the ref grabbed his arm. He nearly jerked his wrist away before he realized that the match was being called.

He looked around in a daze, sweat clouding his eyes. He wiped his face on the back of his glove and left a shiny sweat smear there. The sound of the crowd hit his ears in a rush. They screamed for him. He gave them a lopsided grin, despite the pain in his cheek from his opponent’s final blow, and waved.

Hell of a way to say goodbye to seventeen. Not that anyone needed to know that. They might not have let him fight if they knew that.

“I’m going to miss you, Frank.” His fight manager Ritchie said more to the bills he was counting out than to Frank. If Frank noticed he didn’t care, it was about the money for him, too. Ritchie was an asshole, but he hadn’t asked too many questions when Frank showed up at his gym a few years ago. And he didn’t take as big of a cut as some of the other guys’ managers.

Frank took the cash and grabbed his bag from the locker room. He divided the money up between the pockets in his clothes and his duffle. No reason to advertise his big payday. He walked out into the clear, chilly evening. He probably could have said goodbye to someone besides Ritchie, but what was the point? Who cared at the gym? They were all just passing through each others’ lives like commuters on a city bus.

Maybe Sergei, the old Russian. The grizzled fighter who had somehow decided Frank was worth teaching. Who rarely ever spoke to him in English. Maybe he should have given Sergei a “Das Vadanya” before he left. But that would just be awkward. Neither of them was sentimental. Frank could see it now: the old man’s gray eyes would regard him curiously under his wild white eyebrows, wondering why at this moment Frank had decided to show any manner of affection for him. No, that wasn’t right, better to leave without a goodbye.

But her, he was glad to see, she was waiting for him just outside the door. Frank smiled. It was a genuine smile through the pain. He had wanted to see her before he left.

Her tail wagged as he approached her.

“You’re back. I thought I might not get a chance to say goodbye.”

Frank kneeled and rubbed her ears.

“Come on, you picked a good night. We’re gonna eat like kings.”

He began to walk down the road, and the dog happily trotted beside him.

He pulled the collar of his ancient peacoat up. It was given to him by Sergei when he saw that he had grown out of his old one. Given was a stretch. One day Sergei tossed over his shoulders as Frank stood outside shivering in the cold, pretending it didn’t bother him as he tried to light a cigarette. Neither of them said a word, but Frank was grateful.

It wasn’t new when he got it. It reeked of cigars, half the lining was torn out, and moths had done a number on it, but it was better than nothing.

Now, the buttons were gone, the pocket linings were shredded, and yet he wore it. Why spend precious money on things when his stomach ached for food? When he needed a place to sleep? Buy a new coat or sleep on the street. Anyway, he couldn’t imagine something new. No, this coat worked fine enough. He’d wear it until it disintegrated if he could.

The rich scent of fat frying on the grill hit their noses well before they came upon the small white building that lit up the night.

Burger Town

Frank walked up to the window. A man in a white paper hat jotted down his order: three burgers all plain- because of the dog, fries, milkshake. He looked curiously at the young man and the dog as they took a seat at one of the white wooden picnic tables nearby. Frank sat on the table itself, feet on the bench, and lit a cigarette while waiting for his food. The dog hopped up on the bench and placed her head on one of Frank’s shoes. He gave her a scratch behind her ears, and she happily thumped her tail against the wood.

Frank chain-smoked as the hunger pangs intensified. The anticipation of finally filling his stomach only made them worse.

When Frank went up to get his order, the man in the paper hat opened his mouth as if he would say something. He seemed to quickly change his mind after looking over Frank’s bruised face. He probably didn’t want to deal with whatever trouble this kid might give him. Frank turned and grinned to himself. He was used to getting told off, used to having to defend himself, and so he made sure he appeared bigger, more menacing, not worth the trouble. It usually worked. Sometimes it got him into more trouble. That was ok, too—most of the time. Most of the time, people realized fast that his tough-guy act was more than a facade. For some people, it took a little longer, and they needed a little more encouragement.

He sighed and sat down. Sometimes he wished he could just shed it. Not have to fight for everything all the time. He quickly shut down that line of thinking. It was no use wishing for a life he didn’t have. Those weren’t the cards life dealt him.

The dog was looking at him expectantly. His stomach growled. He unwrapped one of the burgers, tore it up, and placed the pieces back on the wrapper. The dog devoured her share and stared at him.

“Hang on a sec. I gotta eat something too, y’know.” He unwrapped his burger and bit down into it. Holy god, it might have been the most incredible thing he’d ever eaten. The aching in his stomach pleaded with him to tear through all the food, but he chewed slowly, chewed past the point of savoring it. He knew from experience that this was the best way to do it despite his empty stomach. It wouldn’t do him much good to eat fast and then throw it all up a minute later. Then after ages of chewing, he finally swallowed. It felt good to have some food in his stomach. As he ate, he marveled at how much better he felt. He wondered what it was like to walk around and not feel like shit all the time. To have a clear head and not have to try to smoke the pain away. He could always bum a cigarette off someone, but no one ever just gave you food. It was too precious.

And this: burgers, fries, milkshake, this was the ultimate. Frank’d take this over a meal at the fanciest restaurant any day. Not that he knew what that food was like, he couldn’t dream of it. Back when he was a kid, sometimes restaurant owners, not the fancy ones- they’d shoo him out with the rest of the vermin, would pity the skinny kid in shabby clothes. Let him wash a few plates for table scraps. No handouts for him. He would work. He sure as hell wasn’t going to take anything for free.

Now, with the scruff on his face and his height, he looked like a man. And if hardly anyone could bother to care about the scrawny kid Frank, they certainly didn’t care about the six-foot teenager Frank.

He pulled the last burger out of the bag and split it in half. He tore one of the halves into pieces and placed them in front of the dog. The dog once again gobbled up every last crumb. As she was eating, he picked up the other half and took a bite. The dog lifted her head and whined at him, pleading with him with her big brown eyes. Frank sighed and gave her a small smile. He tore up the remaining burger half and set it down in front of her. He checked his watch. Soon enough now, he thought.

Then the lights went out. Burger Town was shutting down. Frank looked over and saw that the man in the paper hat was locking boards over the takeout counter window.

Frank picked up the fries, the milkshake, and the duffle and got up from the table. The dog hopped down from the bench, and they began to walk. He was unsure of where he was going. No place would take him in with the dog, no matter how much money he had. Frank debated breaking into the gym and spending the night there. It wouldn’t be the first time. Sergei usually got in early in the morning, and he wouldn’t rat him out to Ritchie. Anyway, what was Ritchie going to do? Call the cops? He realized that asshole probably would and use the opportunity to pocket the rest of Frank’s winnings from his belongings. Damn, the gym might not be the place, then. He sipped his milkshake as he walked. Frank couldn’t risk everything now.

Well, he’d find somewhere, he decided, he always did.

At least he wouldn’t be alone. He looked down at the dog, who looked up at him, her tongue hung out of her mouth as she panted away. She almost looked like she was smiling.

He couldn’t recall the last time a person smiled at him. Well, genuinely smiled at him.

They reached a park. It would be too cold to sleep there tonight, but he thought he could rest for a moment. At least enjoy the moment before searching for a place to sleep. He finished the fries and milkshake and dumped their containers in the trash, and then he looked around.

The cops would likely be coming through to kick out all the bums. Bums like him. Incredible, you got no place to go, and they won’t even let you sleep in a park that no one’s using because it’s the middle of the night, Frank thought. What were they supposed to do?

He found a nice patch of grass next to a giant tree that would at least partially hide him should some cop come poking around.

He lay down on the grass and put his head on his duffle.

Frank lit a cigarette and put one arm behind his head as he looked up into the night sky.

“Almost time now.”

The dog snuggled next to him on the grass.

He patted her head between her ears.

“I’m going to miss you, but I can’t take you with me.”

Tomorrow, finally, he’d enlist in the marines. He wasn’t sure what it would bring. But what kind of life could he have otherwise? Maybe he’d make a difference in the world? Stop the bad guys? Nah. He was kidding himself if he thought that. But a clean bed? A place to go? Three square meals a day? Damn, if that didn’t sound like heaven. So what if they bossed him around a bit. Sent him off to die in some strange place. Nah, that part, the dying part, that wasn’t happening. He could kid around about being a hero, but there’s no way he was just gonna die in some foxhole. Die in some other man’s war. He’d make it. He’d be the one to survive. He’d survived this long.

He took a drag of his cigarette and turned his wrist to check his watch.

Frank chuckled.

“Hey Dog, guess what?” The dog’s ears perked up. She wagged her tail and crawled over to him. She nuzzled his hand with her nose until he gave her a few pats.

Then he took another drag and said, “It’s my birthday.”

#frank woods #call of duty #fanfic #i think about woods too much #or not enough #black ops #black ops 2 #black ops cold war #fanfic friday #this was the dog one by the way #efing fanfics #efingfanfics

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james-fun-in-the-sunderland · 2 years ago

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Erm general questions

Fave food

Fave activities and why

Cuddler?

Scars? From what?

Type?

Favorite people

Type of humor

hi hello my bestie im gonna answer these for vicky bc he was on my mind

Fave food

vicky LOVES a good steak (he likes it cooked medium rare in case anyone asks), his mom would always make steaks on special occasions and so not only did it taste SUPER good to him but he always associated it w good times :) he has never tried to grill up som steak himself bc he knows it wont taste as good so he goes to nicer restaurants on special occasions to get some steak!

Fave activities and why

I feel like i barely ever talk abt it but vicky LOVES to sing and play guitar! its like the second part of his whole thing, he also collects records and in general loves to collect good sound systems to listen to music! hes always loved music ever since he was a kid and looked up alot to like singers and bands and stuff bc he saw that as like ... peak lifestyle, exactly what he wanted to be and do when he grew up... he tried to break out and become some kind of singer songwriter but nothing ever went through and when his daughter was born he basically gave up that dream but he still sings and all of that bc it makes him happy :)

Cuddler?

YES.... INTENSELY. his boyfriend gets his cuddles in FULL FORCE !!! hes very touchy and will sort of passively cuddle his bf when theyre just like . doin nothin. just standing next to each other he'll have his arms around him n stuff (note this does NOT happen in public places bc vicky HATES pda but in their own home and in private moments he is INSUFFERABLE) hes also very cuddly with his daughter! he would OFTEN fall asleep w her on his chest when she was littler c: shes also a cuddler bc of this ofc

Scars? From what?

oh boy does he have scars, i have a whole section on his ref sheet for his scars

(i put it in here twice so that the post doesnt KILL dashboards w how long it is lmao)

i also have alot of like explainations for some of em, the burns on his arm are from when he went to dispose of some evidence for a boss and was a BIT fucked up (drunk) and so he didnt notice there was some lighter fluid that got on him until he already lit the fuckin match (hes a lil dumb <3)

the scar that goes across his stomach and on his arm was when he was doing a hit and thought the person was dead but they WERENT they were tricking him so when he didnt expect it they could slash the fuck outta him and get away (he still ended up killing them in the end but it was a GOOD try <3)

his facial scar, his most noticable one since the rest he tends to cover with clothes, was from when he got fucked up on alot of stuff and went for a drive during the WORST period of his life (he had SEVERE depression man he was NOT doing well) and he ended up hitting a pole at like 100 mph and of course didnt have a seatbelt (this was in like the 60s so .) so he flew out the window and MIRACULOUSLY was not hurt outside of alot of bruises and small cuts along with a shard of glass getting stuck in his face as he skidded scross the pavement like a skipping stone (which is what caused the huge scar) he doesnt like people to ask about it bc he finds that part of his life embarrassing (guy doesnt like having emotions :/)

HI EDITING BC I REALIZED I MISSED THI s his missing pinky got cut off as a punishment from a boss he had <3 not much more developed than that as of rn

Type?

i am GUESSING u mean type in like dating partners... in which case ... i havent really thought abt it! i suppose he likes people that are different from him! smaller, got more meat on their bones, more thinkers rather than impulse type people like he is, also hairy-er people. he doesnt grow body hair and i imagine the first time he kissed his bf (who has a beard) he was like AHHHH OK . I GET IT. I LOVE THIS

mostly i think he also really loves people he can do things for... like people he can care for... hes terminally someone to has to be doing things for people (as long as he agrees w the things bc otherwise he wont!) his bf makes sure to give him stuff to take care of w him (he has chronic pain in one of his legs and used to just rub some pain reliever on himself but now he and vicky have a whole routine in the morning w it :) )

Favorite people

his boyfriend abel and his daughter rosa! they are his EVERYTHING.. like literally if he lost them he would PLUMMET back into the depression he had when his mom died but EVEN WORSE bc he prides himself on taking good care of his daughter, if he worries about her its all he can think about, rn in universe shes being held hostage for him to do a job and hes WORRIED SICK like she is ALL he is thinking abt rn :(

Type of humor

oh he would definitely be called problematic . i wouldnt say he has an offensive sense of humor but its for sure darker than usual, growing up as a bully who took quite a bit of joy in suffering will do that to ya :/

#rev lore #OC: Vicky Love #CHRIST i wrote alot �� have fun reading all of this LMAO

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tarantulas4davey · 4 years ago

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Ufc Fighter Albert Dasilva Headcanons

hello, people who still follow me despite the fact i never post cause i’m a mess. how y’all doin? my favorite ufc fighter won the other day so now ✨this is what we’re doing✨. also i originally sent this thought to @we-are-inevitable ‘s ask box so find that post here (hi jac ilysm mwah mwah mwah)

i also wrote a part 2 so find that here !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, and well as blood and injury. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb)

i sincerely apologize in advance for what a mess this post is gonna be i just had a monster and i’m hyped up on the win and this is a hyperfixation i don’t get to talk about very often so feel free to ask questions and HERE WE FUCKIN GO

OK SO

albert is just,,,,,, a violent sports guy. always has been, probably always will be.

most forms of recreational fighting, football, hockey, rugby, fuck even soccer if he gets too into it. he’s just a Built Person, and he wicked competitive, and that makes for violent displays of athleticism

I think he was probably a hockey or football guy in high school, but he was also on the wrestling team cause i said so

then after graduation he got really into kickboxing, just to have something to do cause he didn’t have school sports to play and train for all the time

and then one day his coach is like ‘hey. you’re like,,, stupid good at this. you should sign up for competitions, you might make some money.’

he does, in fact, ‘make some money’, cause in straight kickboxing? he’s pretty much unmatched on the regional scene, which is ridiculous cause he didn’t start training his stand up game til he was 18 or 19

then American Top Team (ATT, it’s a really big MMA training camp that had trained a boat load of the top talent in the UFC) approaches him like ‘y’know if you worked on your grappling you could be a really solid mma fighter’

which is HUGE, but obviously albert can’t pick up his entire life and move to florida to train with them, so him and race (this is me, of course race is with al. supportive boyfriend and number one fan alert <3) find gyms willing to work with him based in new york. then he starts signing up for shit.

he sticks with stand up fighting when he can, he likes it more and cause,,,,, well. it’s more entertaining. the higher your entertainment value, the more people watch your fights. the more people watch your fights, the more likely you are to get noticed by big promotions (like the ufc)

he uses his wrestling to keep grapplers on their feet (he’s got like a 90% takedown defense, what an icon) and he picks people apart.

he has a lot of technical skill, but he also is fiery and passionate and scrappy. he gets hit too much for his own good a lot of the time.

he’s super durable. this man can get hit clean over and over and stay on his feet, but that’s not gonna hold up forever. it takes a loss or two in a row to motivate him to change it

and oh boy does he change it

he spends a month in auckland, new zealand at city kickboxing (one of the best kickboxing gyms in the world, and they lean heavily on tactics rather than just charging forward blindly)

he’s straight up a different fighter after that. he’s quick, light on his feet, and avoids punches way easier while also setting up the angles for his own. he gets signed to the ufc 2 fights later.

his first fight is short notice. no training camp, he’s got 5 days to make weight, AND it’s against a top 10 ranked opponent. no big deal, right?

and albert, being albert, is super chill about it. sure, this is the opportunity of a lifetime, could decide his entire future as a fighter, and he’s barely got time to prepare.

but he’s in the gym every single day of the week, he doesn’t super cut on weight like most ex-wrestlers, and most importantly, it’s just fighting. all he has to do is get in the octagon and punch some dude in the face. he can do that all day.

race on the other hand,,,,,,,,

he believes in albert with his whole soul, he really does, but Fuck watching your boyfriend get hit in the head is no fucking fun. especially when you know that the guy throwing the punches has been training for months, and your guy hasn’t even had a week

so he brings jack for moral support. also cause jack is DEFINITELY a ufc fan and was the only one that would understand what was happening.

at some point in the first round albert gets caught clean, opening a cut on his cheek, which makes race Panic Even More

but he gets cleaned up between rounds, and it’s not swelling so he can still see, and it’s over by the middle of the second.

and albert wins, cause (this is fiction and i’m telling a story) of fucking course he does, and he probably wins with some stupid dramatic spinning back kick and gets clipped on twitter cause he’s just Like That

the part that makes me, as the ralbert shipper, super fucking happy is coming up but i need to add a lil real talk first

considering albert is like,,,, openly in a relationship with a man when he gets into the ufc,,,,, that makes him the first publicly gay ufc fighter. like,,,, ever.

this is realized after his hand gets raised after the ref calls the stoppage.

bruce buffer makes the official announcement, al gets his hand raised, he gets interviewed by joe rogan, and then his coaches, jack and race get to come into the cage

at first everyone things it’s a best friend or something, especially after the dap up bro hug things he gives his coaches and jack

but then albert sees race, and you can watch this boy’s face light up on the camera. then race throws his arms around albert’s neck and albert half lifts him off the ground in a hug around his waist and ok, sure, that’s not the most platonic thing you’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t prove anything

and then albert kisses race. like full, actual, on the mouth in front of all the cameras kiss. cause he doesn’t give a shit.

and nobody’s talking about his spinning back kick anymore, cause Holy Shit That Wasn’t Very Straight Of You Dasilva

but he doesn’t address it, cause every other fighter gets to kiss their wife or girlfriend or whatever in the cage after they win and nobody bats an eye, so why should it be any different for him and his boyfriend?

also, because it needs to be said, statistically there are ALREADY lgbtq+ male fighters in the ufc. like currently, in real life. they’re just not out publicly. the ufc has openly supported queer people’s rights in the past, and is partnered with 4 prominent HIV/AIDS awareness organizations. there is multiple openly queer women currently fighting in the ufc, including amanda nunes, who has been repeatedly called the greatest women’s fighter of all time. but as of right now, there is no openly mlm ufc fighters, so that would technically make albert the first. we love a trend setter. now back to what i’m supposed to be talking about djdhdbd

and eventually interviewers and fans on twitter realize that they’re only going to get one answer to vague questions about sexuality, which is “i’m dating a man and i fight people for a living. if that makes me a revolutionary, so be it bro.”

he includes race in a lot of his answers, especially in interviews where they ask more personal questions or grill him on his mental game, cause he loves race and thinks he deserves credit for everything he does to make al a better person and a better fighter

also, purely for my own entertainment, i think after he becomes champion (cause of course he does) he goes on the joe rogan podcast, and joe is pretty much the only one who gets albert to talk about any of it in a genuine way

he doesn’t get sarcasm or a blunt “can we talk about fighting, now?” like everyone else, he gets a real answer, cause that’s what albert came on to do anyway

he talks about getting together in highschool, and how it was race’s idea for him to start kickboxing in the first place, and what a fucking genius race is and how he’s getting his PhD right now, and how he didn’t want to talk about it cause he didn’t want to be the “gay fighter”, and how that’s a trivialization of his relationship with race and he refuses to let it be seen as anything but what it is, which is the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to him

just. Ugh. them <3

THIS POST IS SO LONG HOLY SHIT DHDHDHDH

anyway-

y e a h. albert dasilva would rock anyone’s shit. if i keep having thoughts about this i’ll make one about him becoming champion. thank you for your time ✨

also gonna tag @soaps-posts cause the brainrot is powerful so here you are my dear <3

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dripkingpetey · 4 years ago

Text

give me a chance-j.virtanen

a/n:this took me way longer than it should’ve but I've just had no motivation for writing lol (watch me not post another fic for the longest time-)

1910 words

“Y/n, I bet you’re the only girl that’s ever turned Jake down.” Brock said to you over the loud sounds of people talking in the background of the bar and he wasn’t wrong, any girl who Jake has every approached or even talked to would be falling in love with him right away but not you. You always used the excuses like “I’ve known him for too long, it would be weird.” Or “I just don’t want anything with anyone right now,” But all of that just made Jake want you more.

“He’s not wrong.” The young swede sitting to the left of you chimed in. “I’ve never seen anyone turn Jake down, you must have some anti Jake gene in you or something.” The three of you bursted laughing at Elias’ words before you took a sip of your drink. “I don’t know, I want something serious and I know Jake can’t give me that.” You said quietly but Brock and Elias definitely heard you as they exchanged a look to each other.

Jake came back to the area that all of you were seated and nuzzled his face into your shoulder, clearly very drunk. “Hey,” He grinned while slowly closing his eyes as he couldn’t help but drift off to sleep.

“Are you sure you guys don’t have something going on? Secretly fucking or friends with benefits?” Brock joked quietly, looking at you rubbing Jakes back and comforting him. “Seems like you and petey are the ones that are secretly fucking.” You commented at Brocks words and his face immediately turned red.

By the next morning you had completely forgotten what you had said last night, the only thing occupying your head was the pounding headache from your hangover. “Hey,” Jake grinned while taking a sip of water in his kitchen and that was when you realized you had fallen asleep on his couch last night. “You’re creepy, were you watching me sleep?” You joked and threw a pillow at him. “For your information, I was not. I actually need to get ready for practice.”

“Do you mind taking care of Bruce and Donny today? I forgot they had to go to the groomers.” Jake asked nicely knowing you would say yes. “Yes, but only if you hangout with me tonight.” You smiled at him as he nodded. “Count me in, okay I really gotta go get ready.” Jake pulled you in for a hug and a light kiss on the head before he rushed to get ready, you waited till Jake left to get ready for the day. You had clothes there from spending time over there so much so you grabbed a pair of leggings and your favourite hoodie of Jakes before you hopped in the shower.

You ran some errands before you had to pick the dogs up from the groomer, you sat them in the backseat before taking a photo of you and the dogs to show Jake you had picked them up.

i got the boys :)

*image attachment*

Is that my sweater?

maybeee

I’ll be home soon, should I pick up dinner?

nope, i already planned what we’re doing for dinner

You started putting away the groceries and grabbed the ingredients you needed for dinner, you decided to make burgers and salad for dinner since you knew it was Jakes favourite meal and he was dying to try out the new grill he purchased the other day.

“Hey.” Jake whispered right by your ear which made you jump while preparing the salad. “I already knew you were here,” “Yeah but you still got scared.” Jake chuckled at you and sat on the stool for the kitchen island. “What’s for dinner?” Jake raised an eyebrow at you before you pulled out the hamburger patties. “Burgers, you get to use the grill that you’ve been dying to use.” You smiled as Jakes eyes immediately lit up. “Oh god, you are a literal man-child.” You sighed with a chuckle.

Since Jake was gone on a road trip, you went over to his house to take care of his dogs and the house, it was the second game of their road trip when Jake got his injury.

You couldn’t help but sigh as you saw Jake get hit, he was against Dallas when Jamie Oleksiak collided with Jake. But the sigh quickly turned into fear when Jake was struggling to get up. “Oh shit.” You mumbled to yourself as the refs whistled and the trainer went on to help him. Jake slipped a little but got off the ice quickly with the help of Bo and Brock.

You watched the replays of the hit that they were showing on tv before you texted Jake.

i watched the game, call me when you can please.

You were half asleep when Jake called you, you quickly woke up from the call and answered.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Your voice was sleepy and Jake could tell. “Hey, I’m okay. Sorry did I wake you up?” Hearing Jakes voice made you calm down. “No, no its okay.” You mumbled, half asleep which made Jake chuckle. “I’ll be home tomorrow.” Jake quickly realized you weren’t listening when he heard your light little snores. “I love you” He whispered before hanging up to fall asleep as well.

You woke up early next morning and cleaned up around the house and waited for him to come home. “Oh god I look like a mess.” You mumbled as you saw a glimpse of yourself in the window. You quickly tried to fix your hair and outfit but quickly gave up and changed into a set of Jakes clothes along with a messy bun.

“Hey.” Jake said cheekily as he flopped himself on top on you, wincing a little from his injury. “Hey,” You mumbled quietly, now realizing you were asleep. “You’re home.” You grinned. “Would be better if it was our home though,” Jake winked as he whispered into your ear. “Jake,” You sighed as he kissed your cheek. “Y/n, just kiddinggg.” Jake said as he dragged on the ‘g’ and sat up on the couch.

“How was your trip? Well other than the injury.” You asked but quickly realized it wasn’t a good question to ask him. “The trip was pretty fun, but did you know the doctor actually said that cuddling will help out my concussion and my injuries?” Jake smirked as you looked up at him. “Oh really?” You teased, moving your body onto Jakes and burying your face in his chest while you traced the tattoos on his arm with your fingers. “Yeah, just like that.” Jake chuckled and rested his face into the top of your head.

Jake didn’t want anything super special for his birthday this year, just a little party at his place with close friends, which was surprising since Jake was a party guy.

“Morning, birthday boy.” You grinned over FaceTime to a half asleep Jake. “Hey.” Jake mumbled, pulling his blanket up to his head. “What do you want?”

“Woah, woah. I’m just trying to be nice and wish you a happy birthday,” You defended yourself as Jake laughed. “I’m just kidding, thank you y/n.”

You ended the call shortly after to go get ready for the day since Jake kept on whining about wanting to go back to sleep.

You snuck into Jakes house with your spare key, setting down the breakfast you had picked up from his favourite cafe. You tippy toed quietly up the stairs to Jakes room, trying not to wake him up yet. Sneaking into Jakes bed and cuddling up behind him. “Hey.” You mumbled against Jakes neck before giving him a kiss there. “Y/n?” Jake mumbled, chuckling a little. “How did you get in?”

“I have your key dummy.” You laughed, starting to play with Jakes hair and you knew he loved it. “I brought you your favourite breakfast.” You smiled as you saw the smile grow on Jakes face as well. “You did?” “Yep its in the kitchen,” Jake jumped up out go bed and headed downstairs as you sighed and laid in his bed for awhile.

Before you knew it, you had dozed off to sleep. Groaning as you woke up to the loud music playing downstairs combined with the sound of people talking. Making sure you looked presentable and awake before going downstairs.

“Hey, you’re up!” Jake exclaimed as you walked downstairs and greeted everyone, realizing that Jake was already very drunk. “The drinks are in the kitchen if you want one.” Jake grinned with his visible rosy cheeks. “Thank you.” You smiled at Jake and made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a red bull and taking a big sip so you can pour way too much vodka in the can than needed.

Completely tipsy and almost drunk, you found yourself sitting on top of Jakes lap with your face inches away from his. Jake softly but his hand on your cheek and you leaned in as well, realizing what you were doing and pulled away.

“Why won’t you give me a chance?” Jake whined at you pulling your face away from his. “Jake.” You mumbled quietly. “No, don’t give me that ‘Jake’ bullshit. Give me a reason.” “Its not that I don’t feel the same way about you, I do, but I don’t know what you want out of this and I want something serious, not one of your casual Friday night hookups, I want an actual relationship but I don’t think you want that.” You finally let it all out, the things you’ve been whining about to Brock and Elias, he finally knew.

It took Jake a moment to process what you said especially under the influence, but he tried to sober up before he could say anything else. “Just give me a chance y/n, I promise I can be the serious relationship you want.” You sighed at his words, knowing you needed another sip of alcohol before you could do anything else. “Tell me that in the morning Jake, when you’re sober.” You stood up and left the living room so you didn’t have to see the disappointed look on Jakes face, finding yourself in his bedroom and changing into Jakes clothes so you could drift off to sleep.

You woke up to Jake wanting to talk about last night immediately but you somehow successfully persuaded him to let you wake up and have a cup of coffee.“I know I haven’t had the best reputation with long-term relationships but I wanna try, with you. So just please, can we work this out?” Jake said quietly, he’s never had to do stuff like this before and you could tell he was taking it seriously. “You know how this is gonna end if it doesn’t go well right? I need you and I can’t lose you.” You said quietly, afraid to make any eye contact with him because you were tearing up at the thought of losing him.

“Then I won’t let it go bad.” Jake sat closer to you and tucked the loose strands of your hair behind your ear and he noticed the tears.

“You promise?” You mumbled, looking up at him. “I promise y/n.” Jake said while smiling lightly at you before you pressed your lips onto his and you could’ve sworn the kiss was out of a movie, it was perfect.

#I probably should post it in the morning but whatever #jake virtanen #jake virtanen x reader #jake virtanen imagine #jake virtanen imagines #vancouver canucks #vancouver canucks x reader #vancouver canucks imagine #canucks #nhl canucks #canucks hockey #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl #hockey imagine #hockey

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kirby-the-gorb · 4 years ago

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reply roundup!

thank you to the patrons! fleurdelis, lukeperiodsun, @heraldinthedark, hadbabits, kellie, natascha, kirbx14, and @technophage!

also kirby’s [pride preparations] seemed to be pretty popular!

it’s a long one this time!

on [road trip]:

@littlemousejelly said: oh the universal Displaced Smol Feeling. doesn't matter how tall you are you look at a menu like this. doesn't matter how old you are being on a roadtrip means you feel like you're nowhere and everywhere and that's OKAY

@thebreakfastgod said: in 8th grade i went on a roadtrip in the week long break for Thanksgiving. on Thursday we were driving home but didnt make it back until Friday, so that Thursday we had Thanksgiving at McDonalds somewhere out in Kansas. we had actual thanksgiving the next day with my brother. this drawing is so cute n it reminded me of this :)

@nikuknight said: so cute!! and yeah this experience is universal I think ^^ relatable

@indigowallbreaker said: this was me last Sunday, what a feeling

@sortofabetaiguess said: this is probably what i’m gonna be like. actually if my queue works this is probably what i /am/ like. #not twilight

oh I didn’t expect to get road trip stories out of this post but it’s wonderful that I did, I’m glad so many of you can relate XD (also I had to keep the “#not twilight” tag because there’s just something delightful about my kirby making it to a twilight blog.)

on [sandwiches]:

@salted15 said: ohmygoodness !!!!! them hamds !!!!! they full !!!!!!! blessed

@orion-flux said: TWO GRILLED CHEEZUMS!?

two of them!!! (also I love that two different people tagged the same friend in this drawing, that’s so cute :’> )

on [mirror]:

@littlemousejelly said: OH CUTE, I THINK THEY BOTH LOOK NICE! i'm Love mirror kirmby very much they are as much shaped as a friemd as right side gorb kirby

oh he is definitely equally friend shaped! he’s just not quite as round lol

@macro-microcosm said: the duality of man

man vs self

on [game night]:

@lavendarjevil said: girls night

pedicures! talkin about boys! pillow fight!

@poltergeist-draws-probably said: me and the besties on a tuesday afternoon

heck yeah dude that is exactly the vibe I was going for

@littlemousejelly said: oh this is precious oh my godddd LOOK AT THE LIL KIRBOS WATCHING AS GREENBY DOES THE VIDDY GAME FOCUSING SO HARD AND DOING A REALLY BIG WIN, PINKBY IS JUST HAPPY TO BE THERE! blueby is asleep shhh... GRAYBY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT GREENBY IS DOING BUT THEY'RE IN AWE CUTE CUTE CUTE

using the color names like that is so cute :0 I just love the excitement in these tags it feels so nice ;u;

@toastycharmander said: 🥺 imma be honest i wish i could sit with friends and watch them play video games like this, just seems so nice. i’d probably end up as the blue kirby at some point tho

man, same. someday we will all get to sit with our friends again and/or make good friends to sit with.

on [incognito]:

@gingersducksandbubbles said: the brows remind me of the cinnamon toast crunch meme. either way, adorable until proven innocent and even then still adorable. yes im aware of what the last tag says. its the law duh

the crime he was wanted for was being adorable! there is no escaping that! (also I don’t think I’d seen that meme before, drawing angry eyebrows on things is just almost always funny huh)

on [hat]:

@dragonsandmollusks said: baseball hats or whatever this type of hat is called are way too hard to draw

ugh, they really are. especially in lineless art! (altho the person who said they’re putting this one in the art ref folder is funny XD )

on [small]:

@littlemousejelly said: OH TEENY!!!!! HELLO YOU ARE VERY SMALL!! OR VERY FAR AWAY!! OR BOTH!! I LOVE YOU!!!! littol teeny kirby are you cold?? are you rubbing your lil hands together because you have a chill?? WAIT I ZOOMED IN AND YOU ARE POUTING! AHHHHHH CUTIE I KISS YOUR LIL PIMK HEAD AND PATPAT! i hope you feel better soon!!!

a true journey :’>

@gingersducksandbubbles said: hi kirbo! why you so far away? did he have a snack? i see that lil cheek curve. he holding his hands or arm nubs so cute like an innocent lil guy so cute. is he innocent tho? not gonna get into tjat discourse cuz the end result is that he's always adorable!! Thank you kirby!

I like this interpretation too! just trying to play innocent after stealing a snack. :>

there was a lot on [pride prep]:

@lammiies said: Kirby supports Gay Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

@macro-microcosm said: BEST MOST SUPPORTIVE BOI happy pride 🌈

@rainbowmilk1996 said: Kirby is a good lad. That, and he probably likes all the colors

@neurokinetics said: my sweet gay child

you are all correct! kirby is gay, kirby supports gays (and the whole lgbtqia+ community! all of us!), and kirby thinks all the pretty pride flag colors are very neat. :>

@drummajor-isyourbandready said: this is the only pride post I'll reblog probably. look at this fella

ohh a high honor! thank you :> (although of course if you find other stuff also worth sharing that’s a good thing too!)

@kiwi-lynx said: Ok, I’m obsessed with your drawings THEY ARE JUST SO CUTE 🥰🏳️‍🌈

@pizza-equals-poetry said: op this is beautiful

awwh thank you both so much!

also @your-local-neighbourhood-kat tagged me in this [very cursed image] by a deactivated blog which, thanks I hate it XD

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witchy-anna · 5 years ago

Note

Ok, so I have this idea. I want Hawks to react to a horror manga artist/writer (Junji Ito but female) who stares at him from afar (using him as a ref for her protagonist) and when he tries to confront her about it, she either ignores him or runs in the opposite direction and he thinks it’s because she hates him but in actuality she’s too anxious to deal with a confrontation and doesn’t want to have a panic attack. Headcannons or scenario, please and thank you hun!

Hawks x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3k~

Warnings: Mentions of mental health (panic attacks/anxiety), mild cursing, mild gore

Playlist: Haunted by ADONA, Devil’s Playground by The Rigs, I See You by MISSIO

A/N: This ask is so dang interesting, this turned out much longer than I intended it to. I know everyone experiences panic attacks differently but I went with what helps me ground myself. Honestly, I’m not very confident with this one, nonetheless I hope you enjoy!

~~~

Hawks’ stomach growled audibly. He sat far above the civilians walking and going about their daily lives below his perch. “Just a couple more hours,” he muttered to himself.

The swollen sun dipped low in the sky, reflecting off glass windows momentarily blinding him.

He throws his head back letting out a groan, “I’m hungry!” Coming to a decision he pulls his phone out to find recent calls and selects one. The line connects almost immediately, “This is- oh hey Hawks! Let me guess, your usual?”

“You know me so well,” Hawks laughs loudly.

“Give me five minutes,” the chipper voice replied.

“Great! I’ll be there,” he says ending the call. Standing, he stretches languidly eliciting a couple pops from his stiffened joints. Hopping off the building he glides easily to his destination. Making it to the empty restaurant in less than two minutes, and strolling inside like he owned the place. At this point he practically did as he was their most frequent customer.

The young man who answered the phone waved from the counter, “Hey! I said five minutes, I’m still working on your order so take a seat over there.” He gestured to the table by the window which Hawks raised an eyebrow at. “Please? You attract customers and it’s empty in here!” the man wiggled his own eyebrows.

With a dramatic sigh he settled into his seat pulling out his phone out to absentmindedly scroll through social media.

The young man who was the owner’s son dropped into the seat across from Hawks, “See, you do attract customers.” He slid a food tray containing Hawks’ opulent order of various types of chicken, including fried of course.

Hawks grinned, “You didn’t have to bring this out, I could have grabbed it.” Turning to eye the growing amount of patrons queuing up at the counter to order.

“Nah, my old man told me to sit here in case anyone tried to bug you,” he shrugged. “You’re doing us a favor anyway. Plus my sister can handle the orders.”

As Hawks ate, the restaurant gradually filled with more and more patrons. Soft whispers and chatter increased in volume. A loud shutter sound came from across the room followed by a curse. The owner’s son sighed and leveled a hard look at the offender.

“It’s fine,” Hawks said quietly. At this point people snapping photos of him was a common occurrence.

A little kid sat in a booth openly gawking, he spared a little wave at them and got a wide excited smile in return. He felt more so than saw all of the people staring.

A movement outside caught his attention, sitting across the street on a set of stone stairs tucked into the side of a building sat a person.

His eyes narrowed and rapt gaze took in a woman sitting partially obscured by shadows with her head down scribbling something into a notebook. A small penlight stuck between her teeth. Every so often she would look up to stare intensely at him before returning to the scribbing. He shoveled the food into his mouth faster because of the curiosity itching at him. An edge of worry creeping along behind it, what if it was a spy or someone out to harm him. What was she writing? He felt the small feathers at the base of his wings stand on end.

Just as he finished his meal he watched out of the corner of his eye for her head to duck back down. Shooting to his feet he startled the owner’s son from whatever was so interesting on his phone, “Woah, finished already?”

“Yep, duty calls!” Hawks gave him a cocky grin and moved to hand the food tray to the girl at the counter. He waved before slipping outside into the cool air.

~~~

As soon as your paycheck came in you hightailed it to the local art supply store. With your eyes sparkling as you drank in the wonderful sights of shelves and cabinets chocked full of goodies. The faint scent of graphite tickled your nose and the more overpowering scent of paints.

Your phone chimes, breaking you out of your happy daze, from a Twitter page you were ashamed to follow when you first discovered it. The photo with the attached location is luckily a short walk away.

You sigh, What an artist will do for inspiration. Rushing to ring up your purchases, you not so subtly run outside to get to the location before he leaves.

Why, why, why did your brain insist on Hawks of all heroes to use as inspiration for your protagonist. To late at this point.

Arriving at the restaurant you internally groan, it was busy. Very busy. Excitement constricted your throat at the sight of brilliant vermillion wings showcased in the bright window he sat in. The lights from the restaurant washing over the outside street and people impatiently queuing in the growing line.

You puff your cheeks out, What should I do now? Luckily you spot a secluded staircase across the street with a perfect view of the window. A little far but it would have to do. Unfortunately for you it’s out of the light provided from the street lamps and business windows. You make yourself as comfortable as possible on the steps and pull out a sketchpad and your favorite pencil to sketch.

In person sketching was substantially better than using random photos from online. Taking a photo of him without permission feels a little too invasive of his privacy.

The soft sounds of the pencil scratching over the rough paper fills your senses. His wings in person are so much more magnificent, folded behind him. Much different than the photos are red-tailed hawks you tried to use.

“Whatcha doin’ there?” a cheerful voice chirps.

A strangled squeak escapes your throat, Oh no. Someone caught me.

Ignore it (Y/n), he’ll go away. You jolt when inquisitive eyes come into your view and you visibly flinch away from Hawks himself. Well shit.

“Anyone home?” you watch frozen as his hand moves towards you.

“No!” you shout and scramble away, it echoes down the street. Pedestrians pause and turn towards the commotion.

Hawks’ eyes widen at your reaction and his voice drops to a gentle tone, “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you.” He slowly withdraws his hand, eyes rapty watching your reactions. Maybe she wasn’t looking at me, he thinks to himself.

Hurrying to fold up your supplies and go to move around his giant wings. “Excuse me,” your voice comes out sharper than intended.

“I-, what?” his eyes follow your quickly departing form, completely dumbfounded. “That’s a first.” A soft tap of something falling from your grip diverts his attention. He bends and picks up a pencil, starting at it curiously.

The panic sets in, breathing sawing faster and faster from your mouth. The quick intake of breath bringing dizziness along with it, hand in hand with nausea. You slip into a nearby secluded alley and press your back against the stone.

“Okay,” you take a shaky breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth. After a few moments your breathing slows and to stop sounding quite as much like sandpaper is stuck in your throat. “Breath (Y/n). Okay, I see: my shoes, a cigarette, a flyer for a restaurant, a person with an umbrella, and a leaf. I feel: the scratchy wall, the hole in my sock, the breeze, and my sketchbook. I hear: someone laughing, a bicycle chain, and a bell. I smell: something grilling, and is that trash?” You wrinkle your nose, “Lastly I taste the (flavor) candy I ate earlier.”

Just as you are about to step out from your resting place, a small red feather drifts down the alleyway. Carried by its own invisible breeze. It stops for a moment before turning to move to you, causing your breath to hitch and panic sets back in.

Before it can reach you, you take off sprinting into the crowd of people making their way to the train station.

~~~

On the train home, you dig through your bag before upending it into your lap. “No no no, where is it!”

Great, if that pencil wasn’t like an extension of your own hand it wouldn’t make much of a difference.

Running graphite stained fingers through your hair you groan at the situation. Do you accept its gone? Or return to the scene of your “crime” and risk Hawks still being there?

You check your watch resigning to suck it up and go back there; cursing at your clumsiness. Trains were still running so you manage to catch one back, twisting your fingers together the entire time.

Back at the scene of your “crime” you shine your pen light searching the area. Of course, you hadn’t lost the cheap little light but too late at this point.

“Hey you,” the familiar voice says cheerfully.

Nope, you pivot on your heels shoving the still lit pen light into your pocket. Please go away.

“Wait!” Hawks voice calls from behind you. “I’m just trying to return this to you!”

Nope, nope, nope, you chant internally.

“Gotta be quicker than that!” Hawks’ laughing voice is suddenly in front of you.

Your yelp is muffled as you smack face first into a warm coat. His hands reach up to settle on your arms and steady you but also blocking any attempt at escape.

Unable to look him in the eyes you instead settle on the collar of his jacket. “Please don’t,“ you say weakly. “Please let go.” This entire situation has already spent your reserves of energy.

There’s a pause before he lets go and steps back, “You won’t run again?"

No promises, you think but shake your head anyway.

A long drawn out sigh comes from Hawks and you glance up at him with widening eyes. Your breath leaves you, creeping across the street was nice but standing this close is a whole different level. His eyes narrow slightly, "What were you doing earlier?"

"Wait! You saw me?!” you exclaim, then clap a hand over your mouth.

Hawks’ eyes study your face, seeming to settle on a decision and expression softens. “Here,” he reaches inside his coat to pull out the pencil.

“Oh, thank you,” you say genuinely. Some pent up tension in your shoulders lessens.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he presses.

“I was-,” heaving a sigh out you pull the sketchpad out that was tucked under your arm. “I was sketching you. I’m an aspiring mangaka.”

“Honestly I thought you were suspicious,” he laughs wryly. “But I definitely did not expect this.”

Hawks crouches slightly coming into your line of site, another squeak escapes your mouth and you quickly raise the sketchpad to cover your face. He chuckles and raps his knuckles against it, asking, “Can I see?”

“It’s Hawks!!” someone shouts.

Hawks turns to grin and wave in the general direction of the shout but says to you quietly, “Can I take you somewhere? I’d like to continue this conversation without interruption."

At your look of apprehension he offers, "I’ll let you draw me in person!”

“Really?!” you exclaim and again clap a hand over your mouth.

Hawks nods happily and moves to pick you up but stops when you flinch away. “Hmm, alright I won’t push,” he beckons you to follow. “This way.” Not waiting for an answer he turns on his heels and quickly leaves you behind.

“Wait,” you call weakly and struggle to catch up.

His pace slows and he spares a glance over his shoulder to check you’re following. Abruptly he takes a turn into a side alley between two stores.

“A-are you going to mug me?” you joke but your voice wavers.

Hawks spins causing you to crash into him again, which he laughs at loudly. Stepping backward he holds up his hands in a finger gun motion, “Gimme all your money!”

“Very funny,” your smile betrays you.

He gives you a dumbfounded look when you smile that morphs into a satisfied smirk. “Got you to smile, didn’t I?” he spins back around to resume the journey, weaving an impossibly strange route through alleys and streets.

“Here we go,” he says with his gaze traveling up a tall building. “Sorry, we need to fly for this bit.”

Before you can answer he scoops you up and strong wings propel the both of you straight up into the air. A choked scream is cut off and a moment later he set you down on your feet. With shaky hands you clutch at his coat and gasp out, “You could have warned me!”

“That’s no fun!” his laugh is close enough to ruffle your hair.

To close, you step away and try to distract yourself with the place he had taken you.

“Oh, this is..” you pause. Cut off from the gentle but still chilly breeze is a small oasis at a penthouse suite. A small greenhouse sits beside the glass walls leading inside the house. You frown, wondering if this is his place or someone else’s.

“No one lives here,” he laughs at your expression. “At least not at this time of the year.”

“Anyway, how do you want me?” he questions with a shit eating grin.

“Whatever is comfortable for you,” you roll your eyes.

“Oh! So like this?” he says and proceeds to strike ridiculous flexing poses.

Rolling your eyes again you settle down onto a grassy patch of the ground. Vaguely wondering how people afforded places like this, Must be a hero. Hawks follows you and plops down across from you crossing his legs with wings relaxed behind him.

You clear your throat, “Why are you letting me do this?”

He shrugs, “Boredom I guess. Plus you interest me.”

“I-,” you start but shake your head dismissing his teasing. You move to take out the sketchpad and supplies and settle them onto your drawn up knees. The familiar and comforting sounds of the pencil scratching against paper fills the quiet atmosphere.

“Why did you run?” he asks quietly, staring off at something in the distance.

You groan and he cocks an eyebrow at you, “I’m no good with confrontation.”

“So I scared you,” his easy-going expression drops for one of worry.

Shaking your head you say quickly, “No. No, that’s not it! I was already embarrassed to be sketching you without permission. I felt like I was caught with my hands in the cookie jar.” You smile sheepishly but it falls and you look down at your lap, “I got overwhelmed is all.”

“I can understand that,” he says with another unreadable expression. At his silence you return to your sketchpad, this time with a stick of charcoal. After some more time passes he says, "I find it difficult to believe you happened upon me by chance. How did you know I was there?"

You duck your head down to avoid his prying eyes and admit, “There’s a twitter account people post sightings of you.”

He hummed, “I would be lying if I said that wasn’t bizarre but I’ve seen worse.” His brow furrowed remembering something, “Much worse.”

“I’m sorry,” you say softly.

“No more apologizing, it’s not your fault,” he said with an easy smile. “I’m used to it,” he shrugs nonchalantly. “Comes with the job. Why do you want to draw me? You still haven’t told me.”

A bright smile on your face leaves him with a dumbfounded expression again, “Oh! I’m working on a horror type Manga and wings are just so much fun to draw.” You gush and point at his wings, “Your emotions show through your wings! I want to convey that in my drawings."

"Can I see?” he asks again. “I mean, I am letting you use my body."

Puffing out your cheeks you sigh and reluctantly hand the pad to him, "Please don’t laugh."

"No such thing,” he tuts and greedily grabs at the pad. It starts off as simple lose sketches of red-tailed hawks, next focusing on the wings before evolving entirely to various positions of Hawks himself. He flips a page to reveal the first full body fleshed out design of your protagonist. The character stands with a cocky grin, wearing a victorian style suit and top hat balanced on his fluffy hair. Only his wings are left with a light outline and where his hands should be, are left blank.

The last and most detailed drawing eliciting from him a soft, “Woah.” The one you were most proud of, the dark-haired version of Hawks stood grinning maniacally and pulling the coat wide open. The abdominal cavity gaping wide open, empty of organs except for the heart hanging suspended. He hums, “You did say it was a horror.” He suddenly sits forward into your space, “You have to show me when this is finished! Please!”

Taken aback at his excitement you mumble a soft, “Okay.” Hawks bounces slightly in his excitement and hands you back the notepad. Adorable, you muse. He has an almost calming personality, even for as pushy as he is.

Focusing your attention on his face you touch up the corners of the character’s eyes. Muttering out loud to yourself, “Is it eyeliner or not?”

“They’re natural Little Mouse,” he smiles as bright as the sun. “Why didn’t you draw my hands?"

“Little Mouse?” you squeak.

"You squeak a lot. It’s cute,” he winks causing you to sputter. “Again, you didn’t answer my question."

Is he flirting? Haha funny (y/n), as if that would happen. Shaking your head you explain, "I want to draw your, I mean his fingers with talons. You sure ask a lot of questions."

An unreadable expression settles on his face, "Talons?” His brow furrows and after a moment asks, “Promise you won’t tell anyone?"

"Tell anyone wha-? Oh,” you watch as Hawks slips a glove off to reveal his fingers sporting sharp black nails, much like his namesake. Abandoning your art you reach out to grab him hand, running your fingers over his nails and up over his knuckles.

“Full of surprises aren’t ya?” he quips.

“I’m sorry!” you cry tearing your hands away from him.

“It’s okay I don’t mind,” he hums and gestures at your hands to retake his.

Your mouth betrays you and you blurt, “You keep making me flustered!”

Mischief glinted in his eyes as he leaned into your personal space. His voice dropped an octave, “Afterall, my Little Mouse I am a bird of prey.”

#hawks x reader #bnha x reader #bnha fanfic #keigo takami x reader #takami keigo #keigo takami #takami keigo x reader #witchy-anna writes

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stonerbughead · 5 years ago

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Maria watches friday night lights (#9)

I really really loved 3x10! Like one of my favorite episodes so far, for sure. so here’s another post about just one episode, “The Giving Tree.”

@lockitin I saw your comment saying I’d like this episode like an hour after I watched! You were very right!

-Aw I love Julie and Tyra’s friendship. Julie trying to help Tyra strategize on how to catch up in school after her ill-advised trip with the cowboy — that’s what we love to see!

-this flirtatious girl (later, we learn, MADISON) insisting on pouring milk into a wine glass for JD is up there as one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen happen in a teen drama party scene

“Do you need silence to watch naked women? Is that what you’re saying to me?” The things that come out of Buddy Garrity’s mouth are truly wild.

-oh boy and then Buddy got into a getting-arrested level fight! Wish I could say I was surprised, but...

ANYWAY MATT AND JULIE DO IT NOW yet they’re still so fucking cute it’s wild

-I am truly HERE for Matt and Julie post coital and naked, just laying in his bed after school saying “I love you” while listening to the radio and HOLDING HANDS?? This is so beautiful.

-so of course, here comes Coach Taylor to walk in on them. Honestly this scenario kind of like NEEDED to happen? Inevitably? I mean, “quarterback sleeping with the coach’s daughter,” as Riggins said. (And now it’s finally actually true.) The comedy of Eric just walking right back out the house, stone-faced. Oh I am living.

-Hahahaha Landry’s bandmates exchanging looks while Tyra comes to ask Landry for help with the SATs. This show does such a good job of actually conveying teens being teens in little moments like this.

-oh yes to the Lyla/Julie tooth brushing scene where she confides what happened with her dad walking in on her and Matt!! then transitioning right into Tami brushing her teeth while Eric sits on the side of the bed, pained and disturbed by his teenage daughter’s burgeoning sexuality. Cinematic.

-what I love about this episode is how well crafted the plot is — Eric only catchs Matt and Julie because he had to pick Julie up so Tami could tell Lyla about Buddy’s night in jail. and Eric clearly showed up earlier than Tami would have. After all, they thought they had time for one more song. It’s just...such good writing. Ugh! Yes.

-I love how this development actually left Tami speechless too, when usually she’d be running into Julie’s room with exactly the right words to say

-I really do love how this plot lines up so that Lyla is in the Taylor house to comfort Julie.

“Your punishment is you have to have a conversation with me about it.” Fair, Tami, fair. Bc there should not be a punishment at all for a teenage girl having consensual sex with a boy she loves!

-Did Buddy really just plead not guilty??? Sir you did all of the things they just charged you with!!!!

-Tyra’s mom immediately wanting Landry to change the pilot light when she sees him in the house helping Tyra is....too real. Also reminds me of Lorelai joking about how she liked how Dean would change the water bottle in Gilmore girls

-fuck you buddy!!!! Why would you gamble your daughters college money??? Related: I love how betty cooper had a similar plotline to Lyla garrity here but in the Riverdale version her mom gave the $$ to a cult

“Please tell me the lesson we’ve learned.” “Always lock the door.” “...when having sex with the coach’s daughter.” HAHAHAHA omg this show is so good, having Eric glance at Saracen in the locker room to see his eyes downcast. That’s that shit we like.

-I’m proud of Landry in this episode standing up for himself bc Tyra was totallyyy taking advantage of him. Like she expects him to ditch his bandmates bc she wants to take a break and lengthen their study session which he’s doing as a favor to her??

-oh yes and the Giving Tree metaphor! Amazing. Art.

“That’s exactly what I feel like, just a stump.” Damn. I felt that.

“What about birth control?” “I don’t want to talk about that!” “Hon, that IS the conversation.” Damn right it is! Tami is a good mom.

“Chasin skirts,” Mr. McCoy? You’re gross. Ew and now he’s literally trying to control his son’s love life. Disgusting.

-Julie’s long pause after Tyra asks if Landry is right about how she’s the little boy in the Giving Tree. I cackled.

MATT SARACEN IS TERRIFIED IM DEAD

-I CACKLED at the fear in his eyes when Tami suggest he wait in the back with Coach Taylor

-Lol at coach aggressively cleaning his grill while lecturing Saracen, who is literally one of the most mild mannered and sweet boys you could ever want your daughter to lose her virginity to tbh. Especially if it’s gonna be a football player.

-ugh Lyla I’m sorry your dad is so trash. Riggins is sweet and hot though. “What do you want me to do?” he says when Buddy bangs at the door. He respects her wishes. We stan.

“I was the idiot who stuck with you! Don’t call me spoiled. We’ve been saving that money since I was a baby. You said if I made the grades, it was mine.” GO OFF LYLA this is cathartic to watch. Also LOL I have mad student loans now bc my dad the cheater similarly lied about our financial situation for most of my life so that hit HARD for me. 😭😬🥺 I sent Lyla’s rant to my mom and she said lol did you write those words

-omg Tim at the door being like “you need to go” to Buddy?!?! Oops I’m aroused.

-oh god poor JD is actually listening to his dad and breaking things off with Madison?? Fuck man. That is so not cool. But wait there’s more! Riggins called him on it right away, we love him. “How do you expect all these boys to battle for you if you can’t make a decision like that on your own?” YES Riggins! Now that’s some good team captain mentoring shit! With the ear buds in one ear. Ugh yes.

-I’m surprised we haven’t gotten angry Coach Taylor chasing a ref sooner. “HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT”

-I love how Coach Taylor said “we’re gonna not lose our temper out there” about the refs to the players earlier in the week then ended up getting ejected from the game himself. Classic.

-omg and he’s calling the other coaches on the field on a flip phone, that’s. Mmhmm. Yep. Early 2000s gold.

-but oop now Wade Aikmen is gonna be getting all the attention. Oh boy. This show keeps ya on your toes!!

-JD’s mom wants her 15 year old son to date wayyyy too much and JD’s dad wants to control his love life wayyyy too much. Maybe they should both just chill???

-omg Katie McCoy totally would’ve kept JD’s date with Madison a secret if the dad hasn’t seen it. This is a *sings* deeply unhealthy family dynamic~

-Saracen is so cute being nervous that Landry’s gonna bomb. Friendshipppp

-okay Landry’s band got a decent turnout! Anyway I hope a girl throws her bra at Devin.

-wait really? Landry in a metal band now suddenly has Tyra feeling him? Again I DO NOT UNDERSTAND TYRA AND LANDRY.

-wow Buddy said Lyla was right AND apologized? I’m actually surprised. Can he call MY dad and teach him how to apologize? Kthxbye.

Yeah seriously I think that was my favorite episode so far!

#maria watches friday night lights #matt x julie #fnl 3x10 #mine #friday night lights 3x10

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punmasterkentparson · 7 years ago

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Are You Flipping My Pancakes, Parson?

based on this post because you know kent parson would do this. YOU KNOW.

on ao3 ‘cause it’s long-ish

Swoops seriously needs Kent to stop.

It’s been two weeks since that fateful night at the bar, when the Aces were celebrating that they’d won that night’s game and also didn’t have to get on a plane until the day after next. Several beers in, someone--and Swoops wishes to God he remembered whom, because he wants to strangle them--made a joke that has haunted the team ever since.

Some asshole had asked, hypothetically, what it would be like if people used food-related expressions instead of literally any other idiom.

The joke died that night, for everyone except Kent.

“Swoops, man,” Kent calls across the ice, and Swoops braces himself before Kent continues, “that shot just now? Totally poached my eggs.”

Everyone else laughs. Swoops yells back, “What the hell does that even mean, Parse?”

When Kent just shouts, “It means you’re really steaming up the broccoli today,” Swoops thinks he deserved it.

It’s three weeks into Kent’s food idiom obsession and the rest of the guys are picking it up.

“Toady!” Finch yells over the bus seats. “Did you borrow my headphones?”

“Not since you lent ‘em to me last week,” Toady calls back.

Finch slides back down in his seat and digs through the pockets of his bag again. “Well then where the grilled cheese are they?” he grumbles. Swoops buries his face in a book and turns up his own music so he doesn’t have to hear.

After four weeks, talk on the ice and on the bench gets weird.

They’re playing the Blackhawks and losing 4-1. Sunny gets off a shift and falls into a seat next to Swoops. “They’re really baking our biscuits,” he grumbles.

Swoops stares at him in sad horror until Sunny realizes what he said. But instead of looking equally horrified, he just shrugs. “Well, they are. We’re making shit passes and giving ‘em too many openings for turnovers. It’s a fucking potluck out there.”

Swoops thinks he sees the start of a smug smile on Sunny’s face. He’s ridiculously relieved when his shift heads onto the ice.

After the game--which goes to the Blackhawks, 5-2, it’s embarrassing--everyone lines up for handshakes. Swoops is a few guys behind Kent, but he’s close enough to hear his team captain look the ‘Hawks captain in the face and say, “Good game, man. Nice cracking walnuts with you.”

Swoops hears the ‘Hawks captain exclaim, “...What?”

Kent moves down the line without providing an explanation. Worse, all three Aces after Kent repeat the sentiment.

When it’s his turn, Swoops just goes with it. “Good walnut cracking,” he says, and yeah, it’s kinda funny to see the befuddlement on the guy’s face.

Five weeks in, Swoops fucks up.

Red-faced and still panting after the second period in a game against the Leafs, he stops in the hall to do a routine intermission interview. The guy from NBC Sports asks run-of-the-mill questions. It’s nothing Swoops can’t and hasn’t done a million times.

Which is his only explanation for what happens: his brain is totally off.

“Just getting out there and making shots,” Swoops says, in response to a question about strategy for the final period. “We’re setting up great passes and getting a lot of takeaways, but if we’re not making the shots, then it’s just whisking eggs, you know?”

The reporter blinks at him, then does a half-chuckle as if he just got the joke. “Yeah, right. You guys going to add some flour and milk, make pancakes?”

The words are unusual enough in this context to jolt Swoops out of his half-aware funk. He replays his own words in his head and comes to a single conclusion: fuck. Outwardly, he forces the fakest laugh of his career. “We’ll see if we can flip it around.” Just kill him now.

The real embarrassment comes a day later, when articles about the interview flood the feeds and the Aces get wind of it. Swoops had thought the situation was bad before. He has single-handedly made it catastrophic. The chirping is not only incessant, it’s laden with food-related puns and made-up idioms.

Rock-bottom comes when they’re in a tense, tight game against Pittsburgh. Malkin gets into it with Finch and Sunny goes to break it up, which makes it worse. Nobody is surprise when Malkin gets a penalty, but when Finch and Sunny are both sent to the box and Sunny is handed double minor penalties, to be served consecutively, the Aces coach waves over the ref.

The argument is heated and audible, but professional. Right up until Swoops hears, “...can’t justify it when you’ve got Malkin out there shucking corn with my guys.”

Just because the din of the arena is deafening doesn’t mean he can’t hear the whole bench go quiet.

The ref hesitates. “...Sorry, Malkin is what?”

Coach, visibly going pink, waves it off and quickly concludes the conversation. None of the penalties change.

Nobody mentions the incident, even though they’re all grinning around their mouth-guards.

Six weeks in, Kent abruptly stops.

When Swoops asks why, Kent shrugs. “Got bored,” he says, and that’s all the explanation he gives.

A lot of the other guys follow suit. It had become something of a team joke, but it’s a fact that any punchline stops being fun once the captain isn’t laughing anymore.

What’s stupid is that Swoops misses it. When the food joke was a thing, his whole schtick was that he hated it and groaned every time anyone replaced a normal idiom with a food phrase. But now that it’s gone, he keeps finding himself wanting to use food idioms all the time and getting annoyed that he can’t. If no one else on the team is doing it, he’ll sound dumb trying to keep it up by himself. It was different when it was just Kent. The whole point of Kent making dumb jokes is to amuse himself. Kent is like that: he skates like a badass and plays like a wet dream and acts suave and cool for the cameras and fans, but on the bus or the plane or in hotel rooms, he’s the biggest dork.

Swoops misses the food joke. It was asinine and childish, but it made Kent laugh. Swoops never joined in when it was ongoing, but now that it’s gone he feels like he missed his shot.

What’s more, he thinks it’s not his imagination that Kent looks down about it.

He gets a seat next to Kent the next time they’re on a plane. Once they’re in the air, he says, “Wanna watch Netflix?”

Kent does, so they get out Swoops’ laptop and share Kent’s earbuds. Swoops cleans his earbud furiously with a napkin before putting it in.

“Don’t want your fucking earwax, man,” Swoops says when Kent rolls his eyes.

They sit shoulder-to-shoulder for a short while, watching in silence. Kent has chosen a TV series that they’ve both seen before.

At one point, Swoops interjects, “I can’t believe they kill her next season.”

Kent huffs. “Right? Wasted her fucking character with a season of half-assed buildup, then just.” He mimes an exploding head.

“Yeah, it mashes my damn potatoes,” Swoops agrees. He feels rather than sees Kent turn to look at him.

“Bro, you know what you just said, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Kent huffs a laugh. “Can’t believe you’re still infected with that mind virus. It’s been, like, a month.”

“Nah, just a couple of weeks. And the joke wasn’t that bad.”

Kent pauses the episode. “Wasn’t that bad? It drove you crazy.”

Swoops shrugs. “Yeah, but like. It was kinda funny.”

Kent is staring at him like Swoops is speaking gibberish. “You said, and I quote, ‘I swear to God, Parse, if I could go back in time to that bar, I’d find the dumbass who made that joke in front of you and started us on this path to hell, and I’d kill him myself.’ You said that.”

Swoops winces. “You can’t take me seriously after any game we lose. Especially to the Bruins.”

“Bro,” Kent says. “I stopped doing it because of you.”

“...Oh.” Swoops shifts in his seat. “I wasn’t the only guy who complained.”

“You were the fuckin’ loudest, though.”

“Oh,” Swoops repeats. Then he grins. “You mean you stopped buttering toast just for me?”

Kent shoves him. “Christ.”

“Well, crack some eggs and fry me some rice, Parse,” Swoops teases. “You do care!”

“I’ll crack your fucking egg,” Kent says, and puts him in a headlock until Swoops begs for mercy. (But not before he tells Kent to stop putting away his groceries.)

#troyson #parswoops #friendship #brotp #omgcp #fic #oneshot #preslash if you squint #crack #savvy writes

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kellysbookblog · 4 years ago

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“Heartwarming, swoony moments, sizzling chemistry, and just enough intrigue to keep me completely invested--this book had me hooked from page one!”-- Willow Aster, USA Today bestselling author

Wrecked Palace, an all-new emotional slow-burn standalone romance in the Wrecked Series by author Catherine Cowles is available now!

My Amazon Review: https://www.amazon.com/review/RO4I1K5XB3W9P/ref=pe_1098610_137716200_cm_rv_eml_rv0_rv

My GR Review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3171228395?book_show_action=false

One night was all it took for everything to change.

From college student to guardian in a single breath.

My siblings became my world.

No time for date nights or romantic dreams.

I traded quiet weekends for sleepless nights.

Giving my all to make sure they were cared for.

But Griffin had a brokenness that called to me—one that mirrored my own.

Gruff and just a little bit reckless.

He was the last thing I needed. But everything I wanted.

Only someone isn’t happy about this new life I’m building.

Deciding to set fire to everything I hold close.

And when the smoke clears, there might be only ashes left behind…

Download your copy today!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/30ZUZy3

Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/WreckedPalace

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Nook: https://bit.ly/2PXeLEf

Add Wrecked Palace to your Goodreads: https://bit.ly/3appCAa

Excerpt

I climbed out of my truck in the parking lot of The General Store. Why was it that I always ended up here? There was just something about the brown-haired beauty who worked at the kitchen inside. Normally, people who shined with that life-is-beautiful kind of positivity made me want to punch something. But with Caelyn, I was fascinated.

I started towards the store when a man called my name. I stiffened and turned, expecting to see a stranger, maybe one of the reporters still holding out hope that I’d share my story with the world. The set of my shoulders eased a bit when I saw that it was Ford Hardy, owner of The Catch Bar & Grill. I said nothing but waited for the man to make his approach. He wasn’t a stranger exactly, but I had no desire for idle chitchat.

“I’ve been hoping to run into you,” he greeted.

I stayed silent.

Ford chuckled. “Not too talkative, are you?”

“Not much to say, I guess.”

Ford’s expression grew serious. “I just wanted to thank you for your help a few months back.”

“I didn’t do anything anyone else wouldn’t do.” Ford had been attacked by someone sick in the head. He’d been jumped from behind and knocked unconscious. I’d just come along at the right time.

“Either way, thank you.” He held out a hand, and I took it for a shake. “Come into the bar sometime. I’ll treat you to a beer and a meal. It’s the least I can do.”

I fought the wince that wanted to surface. The last thing I wanted was to sit around at the island watering hole. People whispered, thinking they were being discreet when they were anything but. Even worse, they sometimes thought it was completely acceptable to approach and ask me a million intrusive questions. “I’ll try and come by.”

Ford grinned. “I’m taking that as a fat chance in hell.”

My lips twitched. “You’re not a stupid man.”

“Thank God for that. Well, if I can ever do anything to repay you, just let me know. My brother’s a contractor. We could give you a couple of days on that house of yours if you’d like.”

My jaw tightened. “I’m good. But thanks for the offer.”

Ford nodded and gave me a wave before heading back towards The Catch. “There’s no expiration date on that.”

I wouldn’t take Ford up on his offer of help unless I got desperate. I needed to do this on my own. I started towards the store. Pulling the creaking screen door open, I walked inside. It was still a bit early, but when 4:00 a.m. was your usual wakeup call, 4:30 p.m. was just about perfect for dinner. Plus, I could avoid the after-work crowd.

I made my way towards the kitchen at the far end of the grocery but stopped in my tracks when I heard Caelyn’s voice.

“Is there any way you could give me more hours? Or more of the bookkeeping to do?”

Mr. Walters, the owner of the store, chuckled. “You’re doing it all already, deary. I barely show up here anymore.”

“Well, do you know of anyone else who might be looking for some help for things I could do from home?” she pressed.

“Are the two jobs you have not enough? You’re gonna work yourself to the bone. And you need to be home for those kids.”

“I know.” Caelyn’s voice seemed to deflate on the words. “But Mia got accepted into this gymnastics program, and it costs an arm and a leg.”

Walters’ voice gentled. “I’d be happy to loan you the fees—”

“No,” Caelyn cut Mr. Walters off. “You’ve done more than enough for us.”

A foreign feeling invaded my chest. A twisting sensation that burned. I’d heard the talk around the island that Caelyn had taken in her three younger siblings after their parents had been involved in some sort of drug bust. I couldn’t imagine taking all that on when she must’ve been barely more than a child herself.

I cleared my throat, stepping around the end of the aisle. Caelyn looked up, the frown marring her gorgeous face quickly turning into a bright smile. “Griffin. It’s good to see you. Have you finally given in to trying one of my salads?”

I gave my head a shake. “I think I’ll stick with the sandwich.”

Walters grinned. “I don’t know, Caelyn can make kale pretty tasty.”

I didn’t try to fight the twisting of my face. “No, thank you.”

Walters chuckled. “Maybe another day. All right, I’m off.” He turned to Caelyn. “You let me know if you change your mind.”

Caelyn reached up on her tiptoes, pressing her lips to the old man’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Walters headed out of the store, and just Caelyn and I were left. I slid onto a stool at the counter. It was rare that I waited here for my food, but I couldn’t seem to resist the temptation today. I had this undeniable urge to make sure she was okay.

“So, what’ll it be? Some version of meat and cheese?”

I almost chuckled. Almost. “Sounds good to me. But I know you’ll sneak some vegetables on there somehow.”

“Gotta keep you from getting scurvy.”

I almost choked. “I thought that was from not enough vitamin C. I drink my orange juice.”

Caelyn shook her head and started pulling things out of a fridge below the counter. “There’s vitamin C in vegetables, too. And lots of other nutritious things you need.”

“Good thing I come in here a few times a week then.”

“Good thing.”

An idea was forming in the back of my mind. One that just might be the answer to helping Caelyn out of her predicament and giving me some nice benefits, as well.

The screen door banged open. “Cae Cae!” a young girl’s voice called out. Soon, there was a flash of movement past me.

Caelyn stepped around the counter and lifted the little girl into her arms as she hurled herself at Caelyn. “How was your day?”

“So good. I taught cartwheels at recess, and you left me my favorite cookie in my lunch.”

Caelyn laughed. “Sounds like a good day to me. Where are the rest of the tiny terrors?”

The little girl beamed up at Caelyn. “They’re coming, but they were being too slow, so I ran when I got to the parking lot.” Her gaze caught on me. “Whoa. Are you a giant?”

I wanted to laugh but seeing the easy affection between the girl and Caelyn stole my ability to speak.

“Mia, this is Mr. Griffin. Griffin, this is my little sister, Mia.”

The girl looked so much like Beth had at that age, I struggled to find words. “It’s nice to meet you, Mia.” My voice came out rougher than before, and I tried to force my lips into a smile, but the action felt foreign.

“Hey, sis,” a male voice called.

I turned to see a boy who looked to be about sixteen or seventeen. As soon as he caught sight of me, wariness filled his features. He quickly crossed to his sisters, tugging another girl behind him. “Who’s this?”

Caelyn pressed her lips together as if holding back a laugh. “This is Mr. Griffin. Griffin, this is Will and Ava, my other two siblings. I hope you don’t mind, but they usually hang with me for thirty minutes before Molly takes over. Kids, you can go hang out in the office while I get Mr. Griffin’s sandwich ready.”

“I wanna stay with you and help,” Mia whined.

“I’ll go into the office,” Ava offered. She had taken a step behind her brother as if hiding from me.

“They can stay.” The words were out before I could stop them. Awkward and a little gruff, but Mia beamed.

“See, Mr. Griffin wants me to help make his sandwich.”

Caelyn shook her head. “Well, if that’s the case, we better wash our hands.”

Ava headed for the back office while Will took a seat next to me at the counter, eyeing me carefully. Caelyn helped Mia up onto a little stool by the sink, and they washed their hands, Mia singing some sort of song that counted off the seconds.

“All clean,” she called. “No germies can last to thirty.”

I couldn’t hold in my chuckle this time. “I guess they can’t.”

“I never thought I’d see the day,” Caelyn started, putting a hand over her heart. “I do believe you laughed, Griffin Lockwood. Who knew all it took was a seven-year-old singing about germs?”

About Catherine

Writer of words. Drinker of Diet Cokes. Lover of all things cute and furry, especially her dog. Catherine has had her nose in a book since the time she could read and finally decided to write down some of her own stories. When she's not writing she can be found exploring her home state of Oregon, listening to true crime podcasts, or searching for her next book boyfriend.

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strawberrycola · 7 years ago

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portal portal au EH?

im. so angery. i had paragraphs typed out. PARAGRAPHS. oh well. at least i have my thoughts straightened out a little bit. okaY so. henlo. im RLLY into this portal portal au. like. if you have been following me for a while youd know i have a big ol special interest in portal itself, considering my 184 hours in 2. so @portalportalau pls take my thoughts i beg u. THIS GOT REAL LONG SO IM PUTTING THIS UNDER A READ MORE.

okay so this is MAINLY about nikki and neil. but ill go into my own timeline for this au for the sake of clarity, and to straighten things out. SO HERE WE GO.

so portal 1. the story with nikki and neil begins when DaVID tries to cheer max up with friends. so out pops neil and nikki from a dispenser ingrained in the ceiling. level 8. i just spent like 15 min doodling refs for this so those'll be at the Bottom. the act of them dropping causes them to activate. the level goes as normal. they hang out in one of rattmans hidey holes. they talk. max grows attached because fuck man this is one of the first truly positive and genuine near-human experiences hes had since this shit started. however once they get to the end of the level (ive opted that david wouldnt make max burn his friends alive) theyve realised a flaw in design. they cant go through the grill. theyll die. with tearful eyes max promises to find them. turns out it's the opposite way around, fortunately for max, after escaping from david whose personality got set to Murderey, perhaps at the fault of someone? hm. after the events of level 19, max stumbles upon nikki and neil while navigating the guts of Campbell Science. they get through it together, but they must part ways once more due to the grill at the doorway of davids lair (muahahahaha) fight occurs as normal, with cheering on behalf of his friends.

cue the events just before portal 2. neil and nikki are trying to find their friend max, after buzz goes through the facility of the most stubborn test subject being hidden somewhere. they find a personality core whose supposed to be watching the humans. they ask about him. "he's gonna escape! he never EVER gives up!"

the core's eye widens.

and short circuits them. that'll give daniel some time to use this knowledge to his advantage. at the point near the beginning of portal 2, i refuse to believe the test subjects dont show some aging. they age VERY slowly, but they still age. so at this point id peg max around 19, (no particular reason for the number, the repetition of 9 in the beginning gave me the idea). so he gets woken up by daniel, and the game runs par the course. this time, come level....10? i think it's 10 ingame, it's only neil. they go through the level, and neil promises to find nikki. in this sense, theyre like wheatley, sans the face heel turn, major ulterior motives, as well as complete unhelpfulness.

AHEM. once again, game runs par the course. yadda yadda yadda. however during the underbelly scenes of Old Aperture, max learns a bit of backstory. at this point, im feeding into the fan idea that not just glados was originally a human, that all a.i.s were once human employees. so max finds some paperwork, written by a certain science GEEK. turns out neil was once a young scientist, thrilled to witness major science breakthroughs. he was assigned to a particularly tricky test subject. one that just KEPT GOING. wild curly green hair kept back in an unruly ponytail. nikki is basically this universes chell. both thrilled to be working in the growing business of Portals. (one of nikki's particular favourite things, neil noted, was the blue and orange gel tests. she go FAST)

with this knowledge in the back of his mind, max carries potato david through the old buildings, deadset on giving daniel a piece of his MIND. (sidenote that this segment of the game was and will always be my FAVOURITE part. i love the design of old aperture sm.) so we have blah blah blah wheatley science fight wheatley been there done that. as max lays passed out on the floor of the chamber after getting exploded many times and almost sucked into the cold depths of SPACEEEE, a bot comes in, dragging a robot behind him. he gasps at the sight of his friend passed out, and inquired whether he'll be alright. he tells david that he and nikki are friends w max, and to Please Reactivate Nikki she is Very Heavy. david does so quickly, any friend of his son is a friend of his. after max wakes up, they have a long talk.

max wants to find their bodies.

and this leads me to a modified version of portal 2 co-op. with max on the sidelines cheering them on. nikki absolutely trolls the hell out of neil. blah blah YAY THEY HAVE THEIR BODIES BACK WOO HOO MAX HAS HUMAN FRIENDS HIS AGE HELL YEAH. and thus they live in Campbell Science, since the earth is kinda decimated (fkign black mesa) and neil works on science and nikki gets to test, which makes david happy. max enjoys making concerts with the turrets. hes happy. this got FAR TOO LONG. here are the sketchie sketchies. and thus, i nap. ta daaaa. please feel free to talk to me about this or add on i obviously could write for HOURS.

lil robaps.

a nikki, being RECKLESS.

and a neil, who is constantly Terrorised by this green haired DEMON.

#portal portal au #portal portal #camp camp #cc max #cc neil #cc nikki #cc david #camp camp au #doodls #idfk im tiored #lessa go

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pwincissly-blog · 7 years ago

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Ed Sheeran-Imagine

squat, swing.

I brought my fist to the navy blue punching bag in front of me, punching it as if it had harmed me in a way I’d never recover from. Training with all my sweat and tears, risking my reputation all over this match. I’d met her before, usually I only fight women I have issues with but this particular one I happened to somewhat know. She was pretty nice, when she isn’t in the ring that is. I knew she had a thing for Ed, and I was having none of that bullshit so being the jealous person I can be I wanted a fight.

Squat, swing.

I take my career seriously, maybe too seriously. Every swing I take, every move I make in the ring, every scream and yell I let out all means something. It relaxes me, takes me into a new world I love despite its terrors and dangers it comes with. I was only 14 when I started fighting, I started fighting at school- every asshole I wanted to get revenge on I got revenge on. That led to me dropping out but hey, nearly 11 years later and I’m doing it as a profession.

I was about to pull my arm back and I started, but felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist just as I started my squat. “Ed, not now.”, I warned, already knowing who it was. “Y/N, it’s been hours, eat something at least.”, I heard him say with a sigh. I spun around, and took a box out of his hands- peeking inside the styrofoam thing I saw some fluffy type macaroni and cheese and a grilled cheese as well. “I’m not eating that, I have a fight tonight, babe.”, I sighed handing it back to him by stacking it on top of what was probably his box. “Please, it’s killing me watching you eat salads all the time! You don’t even like lettuce!”, he whined. It’s true, I fucking despise lettuce and all health nut food at that. “I need to stay healthy, I can’t be throwing up junk, Ed.”, I explained going to throw another cut to the punching bag but Ed grabbed my arm and tucked it behind my back.

Did I mention Ed trained me? No, well yeah. He’s over boxing now, but a few years ago he was my trainer and that’s how we got to hitting things off. Moving in with each other and planning our lives out, we agreed we wouldn’t flaunt it about on the media for our own privacy reasons. Ed knows my every move, he’s taught me my every move, he knows how hard I swing and how dangerous I am when I’m angry yet he stays with me. “Ed, ouch stop!”, I groaned as he drug me over to the dirty bench beside the staircase and shoved the box of my food to my chest. “Eat it, please.”, he pleaded. I took the plastic fork out of the wrapper and used the napkin to wipe sweat from my forehead and cheek areas.

I look at him and put a bite of macaroni into my mouth, “Happy?”, I scoffed still chewing. He laughed and stuck a french fry in his mouth, “Very.” “Ed, you know this fight means everything to me. It’s the most smack I’ve talked about a fight in a long time- my final fight for the remainder of the year.”, I sighed, sure that meant in 2 months I’d be fighting again but hey it’s something. “I want people to remember me for my victory- not loss by unhealthy habits. Even if I love these unhealthy habits so much.” I took another bite as he began to speak. “You’ll do fine, I’ll be cheering you on.”, he winked. I giggled, “Oh I know you will be. Help me practice?”, I asked, batting my eyelashes like a child hoping he would say yes. “Y/N.”, he groaned not wanting to. “Fine.”

I let Ed finish eating, and relax for a moment, before pulling him off the bench and swinging a warning punch to him. “Easy. I’ve never lost a play fight.”, he smirked, obviously referring to the bedroom just linked in his tone of voice followed by a sharp and quick wink. I punched his arm rather harshly and he swung back but I dodged him. “Feisty.”, Ed continued.

—

I took deep breathes mentally preparing myself while swinging punches at nothing but air. Practicing my dodges with a person I imagined was standing in front of me even though nobody was there. I kept telling myself ‘she’s after Ed’ even if technically that wasn’t true, she just has an obvious attraction to him. My left eye was twitching and finally I heard my name being announce, I climbed under the ropes and bounced on the jumpy flooring. I drew my attention to the women on the opposite corner from me, her bright purple sports bra and lose matching shorts. Her hair was short but half thrown into a ponytail to her best efforts.

“3...2...”, I kept the referees counts in my brain, each number my heart raced more and my anger built up and took over my small body. I did everything I could not to turn and look at my flamed hair boyfriend or my heart would melt- getting those butterflies he always gives me. My brain told me to do otherwise, I looked over at where he could be- scanning the crowd of cheering assbags until I found my specific assbag.

His wide eyes were on me, giving me a thumbs up and smiling this stupid smile at me. “1!”, was the last thing I heard before I turned and within seconds a instant throbbing pain was felt in my cheek. The round had started and I was off guard. Of course, way to start off the round Y/N. I ducked under her next punch easily with the height difference and reached my arm out to give her a good knocking in her stomach. I’m surprised she didn’t puke all over me. While I was still crouched down I swung some more hits, only getting her gloves with her blocking getting better as she grew used to me. Too bad I didn’t keep my regular moves, eh?

In a matter of the ref blowing the whistle for me to stand up I took a punch to my shoulder and one to the side of my head. I spat through my guard and wiped it with the back of my glove, blocking her next swing. I took my elbow to hers and swung a clean hit to her head, getting her back for what she inflicted on me. I tripped her with my foot and sadly for me she was better at balancing then I had thought. Then again, I had done little research on her moves while I was so focused on training. She seemed to have nearly each move I made memorized, impressive yet creepy.

I switched it up, throwing myself backwards 1- to avoid a hit she was bringing and 2- to make her have to come down to my height. The moment she tried to do so I took my heel and kicked her where it was still allowed then sat upright and took my glove to her under chin area. She took a few steps back in pain.

This cycle continued, me switching it up and her being defense and hit when inconvenient for me- and her half the time. The final whistle blew after I had her half passed out and I was deemed victorious. The first thing I did was run to Ed, holding my hand out for a high five after my gloves were off. He ignored my high five attempt and brought my sweaty and bloody body against his, kissing my neck in a proud embracful peck. “I’m all sweaty, Ed!”, I giggled. “Wouldn’t be the first time I was hugging you when you’re all sweaty.”, he said keeping his train of dirty remarks going.

“Shut up!”, I yelled, blushing and grabbing his hand. I hadn’t won anything, we don’t win anything but pride in these fights, so after I changed into my everyday clothes we left up the stairs and through the building. Taking our time wandering down the streets. “Hey Ed, wanna know a secret?”, I asked looking up at the man I treasured dearly. “I know all your secrets.”, he winked, I hit him again. “Stop that! Now you will never know what it was!”, I said crossing my arms.

“No pleaseeee.”, he whined. “You gotta shhhh.”, I smiled, he leaned down and I held in soft giggles. “I love you!”, I suddenly yelled into his ear that was so close to me. Out of defense he shoved me backwards, causing me to burst out laughing. “Not fair, not one bit nice either.”, he said rubbing his ear. “I’m not here to be nice.”, I said with a toothy grin. He looked at me and just smiled, “Jokes on you because I love you more.”

#Ed Sheeran #ed #sheeran #imagine #shape of you #shapeofyou #shape #of #you #love #fighting #boxing #punching #training #musician #idol

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foodieworldmelbourne · 6 years ago

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Why Bianca Spender is skipping Australian fashion week

I dont think I can capture everything I want to in a traditional show format, she explains. My runways are never straight.

Cut from the same cloth ... Bianca Spender (right) with her mother, designer Carla Zampatti. Last year, Spender staged one of the standout shows at Fashion Week, featuring a diagonal series of catwalks that snaked through the crowd. The critics loved it but photographers hated not being able to capture the perfect front-on shot. Over a shared meal of grilled whiting fillets, a dish of fregola with seafood that is like a more chewy risotto, and salads, we discuss the front, back and sides view of fashion, as more people explore fashion through two-dimensional images, often on their smartphones. Spender believes social media, specifically Instagram, has had a huge change on the way people can market ideas. I feel lucky because my clothes are better in movement. When online shopping first came out and everyone was straight front, back, sides, I was like, You dont have any idea how that skirt floats or feels, and I was really struggling with working out how to translate my ideas. Movement is at the core of how Spender designs and produces her clothes, joking that skirts must pass the Martin Place test, named after the notorious wind tunnel in the Sydney CBD. Since becoming a mother to two sons, now aged seven and 10, those tests have expanded to include the carrying the baby test to determine dress lengths (Spender doesnt own a pair of jeans).

Costume collaborators ... Spender with Sydney Dance Company's Rafael Bonachela.Credit:Louise Kennerley Spenders obsession with movement was put to the ultimate test recently, when she designed the costumes for the Sydney Dance Companys 50th-anniversary production of Cinco, under artistic director Rafael Bonachela. Some of the dance movements were so physical that three costumes ripped during rehearsals, and there were many repairs required. Each [costume] fitting, the scope of movement was amazing and even if I had mimicked it I couldnt mimic what would happen to the costume when it was on [the dancers], she says.

Fregola, calamari and mussels at Totti's.Credit:Wolter Peeters Spender said the project, even if it has forced her to sacrifice other work this year, was a dream come true for the one-time ballet student. Every family photo from the age of five to 11, I am in my ballet costume. I loved it so much I wouldnt take [my costume] off, she says. I call myself the tortoise. My mum loves running fast and loves winning. Bianca Spender Spender's gazelle-like physique and flowing strawberry blonde hair means she could easily pass as a professional dancer, although she admits age and the way she moves has taken its toll on her body. I only recently realised at the physio when he asked how I move everything is always very extended, I am not holding my core very much," she says while demonstrating how she would pick up a vase off a table, arm outstretched. "I love how everything looks when its long but then you dont protect your body.

Grilled whiting fillets at Totti's.Credit:Wolter Peeters Spender grew up in Sydney the middle of three children to fashion icon Carla Zampatti and John Spender (her parents separated in 2010). She recalls living in big, spacious houses where classical music was often playing and small talk was non-existent, the family preferring to tackle politics or business at the dinner table, sometimes to the bemusement of Spenders classmates. At school she would demonstrate her eccentric fashion taste on mufti days, but it wasnt until Spender reached adulthood that she truly understood her familys notoriety in Sydney's cultural scene.

Bianca Spender has formed a reputation at fashion week for her non-linear catwalks.Credit:AAP Only years after I left school and I [reflected on] certain conflicts with certain kids that Id never understood. People would say, Well your mum is Carla Zampatti, and I was just like, Oh.

The Zampatti-Spender family on the steps of their Sydney home in 1986. Clockwise from left: John Spender, Carla Zampatti, Alex Schuman, Allegra Spender, Bianca Spender. Credit:Ian Charles Cugley/SMH My mum is pretty normal, shes a postwar immigrant. What that means to me is you have to finish all your food, you live in a beautiful house but you understand the value of money. For a pre-teen Spender, that meant school holidays spent working at her mothers inner-city office, doing every job from tea lady to banking clerk. I am the most ridiculous jaywalker because I have been walking around the city since I was eight, Spender jokes. A firsthand apprenticeship in the Carla Zampatti offices, coupled with her familys work and social ethic, meant Spender had quite a feminist upbringing. I never felt the need to answer to a man, dress for a man, or been dependent on a man for anything. They dont have to approve of how I talk, what I wear, what I earn, what I spend my money on. Last year, Spender reached another milestone when she and Zampatti divided their businesses into separate entities, including a new head office in Rushcutters Bay for Spender. The pair are clearly close, often travelling together overseas or to fashion shows in Australia (both brands are carried at David Jones, for example). But when it comes to their work practices, Spender admits they are quite different. Loading I call myself the tortoise. My mum loves running fast and loves winning. She has racing car blood in her family (both Zampattis brothers were race-car drivers) but I am about the journey. Its not that I dont want the end result to look great. You can get a good result and have a terrible journey but that doesnt mean the same to me. I am [about] the long game. Which comes back to Spenders Fashion Week dilemma. She has a big vision of a project involving 10 women who have influenced her, dressing 10 other women, using her carefully archived collections. Its still morphing but she knows it wont be ready by mid-May, when fashion week takes place. I am probably being too ambitious in what I want to achieve out of it. But at least if I am pushing myself to strive for something. I wont do what I expect and Ill find that new form. (A week after our lunch, Spender phones to say she has decided to sit out of Fashion Week and will instead stage a solo, more intimate event in early May.) Recently, Spender has experimented with salon-style showings, where she revels in getting up close with the clothing and the customer. As someone whos more comfortable at a dinner party for 10 than a cocktail function for 300, Spenders aversion to big-production shows is understandable. At least if I am pushing myself to strive for something. I wont do what I expect - and Ill find that new form. Bianca Spender At a big party, my partners wings will get bigger. Whereas if you have me at a dinner party, I am passionate put me around lots of people and they are asking, Whats wrong with you? I am so not a show pony I find shows an incredible creative process but the way you only get eight to 10 minutes to present your world I remember once saying 12 [seconds] to [stylist] Mark Vassallo and he said, No, 12 is way too long. And I said, That dress took 12 weeks to get right and I cant have it on stage for eight seconds. I want to challenge that.

The bill at Totti's. One point on which Spender and her mother are in lockstep is on the retention of Australian fashion talent (Zampatti funds a scholarship for a UTS graduate to study overseas, with the intention of them returning home). Unlike some of her peers, Spender, who worked in France and Italy in fashion for four years after completing a commerce degree, has resisted aggressively chasing sales or the limelight overseas. We know we [Australia] are leaders in sport compared to our population ... in fashion theres still a, Whats everyone else doing? attitude. New Zealand has a very strong vision for its fashion with a small population but Australia is often very outward looking. We need to find a bit more confidence in ourselves and our own vision and our own style. Our need to be revered by overseas comes from our lack of supporting ourselves and our culture Whenever [a journalist] writes on a designer, its X is stocked on [e-tailer] Net-a-Porter. Do they need to be stocked there for you to love them? A lot of people go bankrupt trying to catch the overseas dollar. I am focused on building my Australianmarket. If my international market comes quicker, great, but I am not running after it. I dont need it to prove to myself that what I do is unique and has a strong vision. THE BILL, PLEASE Totti's 283 Bondi Road, Bondi 02 9114 7371 Open: Mon-Sat 11.30am-10pm, Sun 11.30am-9pm Melissa Singer is National Fashion Editor of The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age. Most Viewed in Lifestyle Loading https://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/fashion/why-bianca-spender-is-skipping-australian-fashion-week-20190410-p51csm.html?ref=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_source=rss_lifestyle

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junker-town · 6 years ago

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The entire 2018 CFB season, in an avalanche of tweets

Relive the season online, Saturday by Saturday.

History may remember 2018 as season short on chaos, at least until Alabama lost the National Championship by 28 points. But social media won’t remember it like that.

From Week 0 all the way to the end, college football reminded us why it is the most unique sport on the planet. You just had to look in the right place.

That place is now here, where I’ve catalogued the wacky, zany, and memorable that the season had to offer, almost entirely via tweet.

Week 0

The real ones know college football season starts before Week 1.

Someone please show me a better looking helmet than this.#NoCan pic.twitter.com/Rok51i5U1K

— Robert Kekaula (@RKekaula) August 25, 2018

Jacksonville State's kicker Cade Stinnette, absolute unit (h/t @Laczkoisms) pic.twitter.com/l5wmRbwMth

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) August 26, 2018

this may legitimately be the worst camera work i've ever seen on this rice game winner. i know camerawork is hard but man come on pic.twitter.com/4qtFsnd3ZM

— patrick mayhorn (@patrick_mayhorn) August 26, 2018

Yep, that’s Hawaii lined up in punt formation...with 2 punters. pic.twitter.com/ZiCUXJsx2u

— Go Big Redcast (@GoBigRedCast) August 26, 2018

Week 1

The in-game emergence of Kyler Murray, a postgame WRASSLIN’ match, and some trolling between both of 2017’s national champions. The season got started off with a bang.

One of my best friends new tailgate. Painted this black, installed dance floor on top, custom grill and flat screens. Media will want to do a story on this #onlyinIowa pic.twitter.com/ckrD73x2gi

— Kyle Bowlsby (@kbowlsby) September 1, 2018

Kyler Murray is GOOD at this football thing pic.twitter.com/0ZYJTuRxrP

— Jack McGuire (@JackMacCFB) September 1, 2018

Unbelievable. Rutgers just gave Texas State a first down on a 4th and 24 punt with a roughing the long snapper penalty.

— Steve Politi (@StevePoliti) September 1, 2018

Ref making more plays than FAU’s defense today pic.twitter.com/estcMvrgg1

— Dan (@AtIantaDan) September 1, 2018

Now that @OleMissFB is 4Life, its time to show the guys on the other side the BLACK AND BLUE, brother! That’s just too sweeeeeet, brother. Hollywood HH @barstoolsports#olemiss #toosweet #nwo https://t.co/jtzNVKac9m

— Hulk Hogan (@HulkHogan) September 1, 2018

Flying above the Alabama-Louisville game in Orlando: “UCF ‘17 CO-NAT’L CHAMPS 13-0” pic.twitter.com/714rN59dAn

— Matt Fortuna (@Matt_Fortuna) September 1, 2018

Fun fact, per SEC Network broadcast: the guy who just punted for UT-Martin is 34 years old, married with two kids. Had been working construction job in Australia.

— Tony Mullen (@TonyKRCG13) September 1, 2018

The Pac-12 Network just missed a USC touchdown because they were at commercial.

— Lindsey Thiry (@LindseyThiry) September 1, 2018

Mike Leach trying a few things out today pic.twitter.com/n3qZkw6Cuu

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 1, 2018

Following one of worst losses in program history, FAU Alumni Association sends mass fundraising text proclaiming that FAU actually beat Oklahoma. #WinningEvenIfLosing #CFB @CFB @ByTimReynolds @Deadspin #CUSA @RedditCFB https://t.co/uaWoSIfegX

— FAU OwlAccess (@FAUOWLACCESS) September 1, 2018

Arkansas’ new postgame media room allows fans to watch us like caged animals. Kinda awkward. pic.twitter.com/tHtsnbRoJx

— Andrew Hutchinson (@NWAHutch) September 1, 2018

Dude raced the Football Helmet cart for a year supply of Andy’s frozen custard. Oh, Mid-Missouri how I love you. Also dude who beat the cart, can we be best friends please? pic.twitter.com/INBEIbyl5v

— Madelyne Maag (@Madelyne_Maag) September 1, 2018

CHAOS!!!!!!! Marshall has the ball on its own 2-yard line after this. pic.twitter.com/xgBH1Kzpdn

— Hustle Belt-sketball SZN (@HustleBelt) September 2, 2018

I'd say @ToledoFB's Cody Thompson (@cthom1441) is back & better than ever. He's having himself a night. @BCSNsports pic.twitter.com/MM8GbYajsK

— Zachery J. Harig (@FOX17Zach) September 2, 2018

ACU's coach drinking a sharp one pic.twitter.com/W3if5aUslG

— nick (@nick_pants) September 2, 2018

Something about a post-game wrestling match after a football game screams "Denton." pic.twitter.com/Ohg5m1p97X

— Ben Baby (@Ben_Baby) September 2, 2018

Week 2

Kansas won a road game, and Kentucky beat Florida. I’ll let you decide for yourself which one of those is more shocking.

SMU celebrating with a turnover chalice. next play TCU gets a turnover and scores lmao pic.twitter.com/B8wqlwRH5U

— nick (@nick_pants) September 8, 2018

@insideNU @hailtopurple purple @nusports. This is shameful for a home game. pic.twitter.com/qkzBDrZZiQ

— Johnny Big Time 22 (@JohnnyBigTime22) September 8, 2018

some OU and UCLA fans pic.twitter.com/n1CrfG1A5m

— nick (@nick_pants) September 8, 2018

Blake Lynch #KStateFB pic.twitter.com/JSvdWtYFrj

— K-State Football (@KStateFB) September 8, 2018

breaking news: giant insects have taken over mount sentinel prayers up pic.twitter.com/KOOkxAIN3e

— Ric Sanchez (@rcsanchez93) September 8, 2018

Alabama's kicker has doinked consecutive PATs off the upright. Fortunately for Bama I can't think of any way the kicking game could come back to bite the

— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) September 8, 2018

Something this guy said? #Hokies pic.twitter.com/ohFbr2zYcP

— Justin Lemkul (@JustinLemkulVT) September 8, 2018

94 wasn't ready pic.twitter.com/uWD54niLeo

— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) September 8, 2018

Things not yet released the last time Kansas won a road game: - Instagram - iPad - Avatar - Modern Warfare 2 - MacBook Air

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 8, 2018

Alright folks, it’s been a while since KU won a road game, so let’s refresh everyone’s memory on how it works. Essentially if KU wins on the road, everyone celebrates by not breaking the law in any way. Let’s keep the tradition alive!

— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) September 8, 2018

"The only 'Deebo' I know got hit by Craig in the movie 'Friday!'" -- #UGA CB Deandre Baker as he was walking off the field pic.twitter.com/cDJ1f7tuIw

— Justin Felder (@Justin_FOX5) September 9, 2018

Straight from @MalekYoung to @BandyTrajan. Turnover Chain Turnover Chain Turnover Chain pic.twitter.com/0UWRpsNoCz

— Canes Football (@CanesFootball) September 8, 2018

Turnover Beads ❌ Turnover Throne ❌ Touchdown....Elmer's Glue Chain ✅ (@SHU__Football) pic.twitter.com/m96zd3oQnn

— Stadium (@WatchStadium) September 8, 2018

So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyyyyyy. *clap clap clap clap* pic.twitter.com/edUzkeuYez

— Barrett Sallee (@BarrettSallee) September 9, 2018

Think @CoachAllenIU is excited about this @IndianaFootball win over Virginia? He runs in the rain and high-fives the student section, and no trash can is safe. pic.twitter.com/v8cUoAZ1aq

— Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) September 9, 2018

@UniWatch Benny Snell’s mouthpiece spins as he breathes pic.twitter.com/70uWnzdS4R

— Michael Kinney (@mpkinney) September 9, 2018

sparty dude was milly rockin while his teammates were fighting for possession of an interception pic.twitter.com/kaaBew8tS5

— ᴍɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴀᴅᴅᴏᴡ (@taddmike) September 9, 2018

Report that a group of people have thrown a mannequin into a puddle and are dancing in the puddle in their underwear.

— HLpublicsafety (@HLpublicsafety) September 9, 2018

Car has been flipped on State Street. People pose for photos after many students run from the scene. Unclear who actually flipped it pic.twitter.com/MiOad8eFSX

— Kentucky Kernel (@KyKernel) September 9, 2018

Week 3

Fuck them.

youtube

.@TomLuginbill is stuffing burritos in his pants now. pic.twitter.com/UFGiQXLmjI

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 15, 2018

let's check in on the Rutgers @Rivals board pic.twitter.com/A861tWphix

— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) September 15, 2018

“I made it!” “Oh s---" pic.twitter.com/b8TlsLMhUV

— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) September 15, 2018

Scott Frost, Chip Kelly & Kevin Sumlin have started 0-6 and Herm Edwards has started 2-0. Just like we all expected.

— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) September 15, 2018

Good seats still to be had for #OhiovsUVA...gonna be a strange vibe this afternoon me thinks here in Nashville. pic.twitter.com/Ftkksc8UEC

— Dave Koehn (@wahoovoice) September 15, 2018

Dino Babers gave an EPIC speech after Syracuse's win pic.twitter.com/P7XHNoUKUp

— ESPN CollegeFootball (@ESPNCFB) September 15, 2018

Don't even worry about fans in blue. https://t.co/Oq9K5vzMS9

— BYU Cougars (@BYUCougars) September 15, 2018

Screaming laughing at the defender pointing at him. pic.twitter.com/Ut7wwOMGXB

— Caroline Darney (@cwdarney) September 16, 2018

OREGON STATE HAS A TURNOVER CHAINSAW! pic.twitter.com/RIVFTDtTjE

— ESPN CollegeFootball (@ESPNCFB) September 16, 2018

Akron, which just beat Northwestern, hasn’t beaten a Big Ten team since the 19th century. (Akron, known as Buchtel College, beat Ohio State in 1894) Tear down the John Heisman statue outside InfoCision Stadium and replace it with a Terry Bowden statue.

— Dan Kadar (@MockingTheDraft) September 16, 2018

UCLA apparently lines up in a circle & does jumping jacks during timeouts now. I think Chip Kelly will turn them around, but it might take a few games. Hopefully he gets his 1st win tonight. pic.twitter.com/vFRVeFKZMd

— Kent Brown (@kentbrownpod) September 16, 2018

Week 4

Feet were the theme this week. Wake Forest lost a kicker while Alabama found one. And a legend was born while Oklahoma almost lost to Army.

Oh, and in unrelated news: Tennessee fans got pissed.

Look at that Center Judge clearing a path for a Georgia touchdown. Textbook. pic.twitter.com/rrRLMEaNWD

— Life-long Rams Fan Dan Why-Ner (@DanWeiner) September 22, 2018

“Uh, where’s the kicker?” pic.twitter.com/mCoBTL5B8C

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 22, 2018

Dude, seriously pic.twitter.com/PsyEocEBzR

— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) September 22, 2018

Kent State 7 Ole Miss 7. Kent State 1st and goal from the 8. 5-yard run loss 11-yard sack 6-yard sack Punt. Downed at the 8

— Nick Juskewycz (@NickJuskewycz) September 22, 2018

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Nebraska football and then asked it to write an episode of Nebraska football of its own. Here is the first play. pic.twitter.com/lqQZBiI7Xx

— The Man Behind the First BOFA Joke of 2019 (@PV_GIA) September 22, 2018

Might need a Scott Frosty to ice down the beating Nebraska is taking.#FreshFanReaction

— Wendy's (@Wendys) September 22, 2018

Texas making sure TCU’s band is as far away from the field as possible pic.twitter.com/jY89pjKbHp

— Taylor Estes (@Taylor_Estes_) September 22, 2018

Funny moment at GT. Clemson’s entire team headed for the locker room as official yells “The half is not over.” pic.twitter.com/Hjxsopntiq

— Matt Connolly (@MattatTheState) September 22, 2018

Carefully. https://t.co/SzQFLhfZUp

— T. Boone Pickens (@boonepickens) September 22, 2018

Updating ACC power rankings: 1) Clemson 2) dear 3) god 4) this 5) league 6) is 7) a hot 8) mess 9) and 10) really 11) tough 12) to 13) watch 14) Louisville

— I’m David Hale? (@ADavidHaleJoint) September 22, 2018

Tennessee goes for it on 4th and 1, gets 54 yards and... a touchback pic.twitter.com/IfR4WSZ6lN

— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) September 23, 2018

pic.twitter.com/ZGn5AFOOoA

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) September 23, 2018

@sportspickle ESPN showing how Tennessee fans really feel about DA GATORS! pic.twitter.com/m36eCNW7R2

— Ryan H (@dabusiness101) September 22, 2018

Sad fans are just sad....things are definitely not going Tennessee's way. Go Gators!!!! pic.twitter.com/qsKkueiQCY

— Todd Fraser (@Todd_Fraser) September 23, 2018

HANG THIS IN A MUSEUM pic.twitter.com/saODgsUuNj

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) September 23, 2018

Tennessee Football program status: pic.twitter.com/M4FSjaDF3r

— Lone Nut (@LoneNutVolFan) September 23, 2018

Just surreal. So much hype, so much hope for Tennessee fans. And just a few hours later, 3-9 should be a legitimate fear for them. pic.twitter.com/ajU7Sr0Lqp

— David Cobb (@DavidWCobb) September 23, 2018

at one point the oklahoma twitch guy, with 30,000+ viewers, showed us his feet truly a remarkable moment in college football history pic.twitter.com/5N7mBUp8Ys

— Jordan Heck (@JordanHeckFF) September 23, 2018

Week 5

It was wedding weekend in college football. And for a brief moment in time, it looked like Clemson had royally screwed up.

Marriage proposal on College Gameday pic.twitter.com/SPtBYryWlH

— Jordan Heck (@JordanHeckFF) September 29, 2018

There’s a real wedding happening at midfield during this halftime show. pic.twitter.com/KUO5DZYwVc

— Shehan Jeyarajah (@ShehanJeyarajah) September 29, 2018

Alabama student section pic.twitter.com/11EwcVZhW5

— Tommy Deas (@tommydeas) September 29, 2018

welp pic.twitter.com/yr7xGk7nq8

— Ryan Connors (@RyanConnors_) September 29, 2018

Clemson's nightmare is here. Trevor Lawrence is not expected to return.

— Grace Raynor (@gmraynor) September 29, 2018

I so wish Kelly Bryant would come running out on the field. #GoTigers #KellyThereIsStillTime

— Archive: Ambassador Nikki Haley (@AmbNikkiHaley) September 29, 2018

Tennessee just got flagged for the same illegal formation twice on the same punt. (And they’d already been called for it on an earlier punt.)

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) September 29, 2018

Jimbo is not pleased. pic.twitter.com/JMvlk9zDEb

— Belle Es You (@SouthernbeLLSU) September 29, 2018

heads up coach pic.twitter.com/mhNz0yqA61

— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) September 29, 2018

RODRIGO WITH THE GREATEST KICK OF HIS LIFE pic.twitter.com/CStglleM09

— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) September 29, 2018

Um, hi? pic.twitter.com/2CfblV4Y1R

— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) September 29, 2018

HOW pic.twitter.com/wF15yqvpPZ

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 29, 2018

Gotta be quicker than that 53 pic.twitter.com/fogTw2Cw10

— WVU (@StrictlyWVU) September 29, 2018

Washington State just beat Utah 28-24, and the Cougars didn't rush for a single yard. NOT ONE. pic.twitter.com/Lo4zQ0Qn29

— Chris Hummer (@chris_hummer) September 30, 2018

What would it cost your employer in lost productivity if you had to call-in sick this week, Darren? #GoBlue 〽️ https://t.co/kpfWyq4Psg

— Michigan Athletics (@UMichAthletics) September 30, 2018

My mom thinks Ohio State’s stickers on their helmet look like marijuana. pic.twitter.com/Gsq4Ow1NPL

— Ben Parkins (@parkins_ben) September 30, 2018

“Benny Snell, how do you feel?” pic.twitter.com/bo0fzl0RNg

— Tyler Thompson (@MrsTylerKSR) September 30, 2018

Week 6

The start of a series of weeks in which it is nearly impossible to remember significant results. Everything blurred together, and the season did sorta begin to slog.

Best GameDay signs from Texas-Oklahoma https://t.co/x3gN2yRYju pic.twitter.com/bNqNMFGD5O

— Q World News (@QWorldNews1) October 6, 2018

This is hilarious. ESPN is having technical issues with the main cameras so this view is the one we get. Camera doesn’t pan or zoom or anything. pic.twitter.com/yOu5cDqy89

— Landon Howell (@landonhowell) October 6, 2018

A live look at the “blackout” for Rutgers-Illinois. pic.twitter.com/KLf61vkrex

— Steve Politi (@StevePoliti) October 6, 2018

and with that, in Northwestern's fifth game, the Wildcats have scored a second-half point against a Power Five team!

— Inside NU (@insidenu) October 6, 2018

I think we all feel the same way right now. #MizzouvsSC @abc_columbia pic.twitter.com/y018fCxrfb

— Mike Gillespie (@MikeABCColumbia) October 6, 2018

ALMOST everyone got called for a false start pic.twitter.com/wz9gNnS1dR

— ESPN CollegeFootball (@ESPNCFB) October 6, 2018

Florida band with the ultimate troll of LSU. Playing banned Neck

— Jack Kewitsch (@jack_kewitsch) October 6, 2018

Are you kidding me?! Look at this formation + score.#Hawkeyes @SBNationCFB pic.twitter.com/7hfml0JXQX

— Adam Johnson (@Mr_GCU) October 6, 2018

A promise is a promise @bakermayfield ❗️ pic.twitter.com/G7DuI1ThCc

— Keondre Coburn⁹⁹ (@KeondreCoburn99) October 6, 2018

Bag secured. pic.twitter.com/BrVpY4xjhE

— Canes Football (@CanesFootball) October 6, 2018

Potty mouth Chryst is BACK!!! cc: @B5Q @jessetemple @ZachHeilprin pic.twitter.com/aAqAiM9OCA

— wordonthetweets (@WordOnTheTweets) October 7, 2018

Charter flight got delayed in Las Vegas...we entertain ourselves!!!! Love these guys! Great Win.#OLP #golobos #6pack pic.twitter.com/m3BUGusMXs

— Saga Tuitele (@CoachTuitele) October 7, 2018

The ole gooch grab pic.twitter.com/ZboMuQH0i1

— Barstool Sports (@barstooltweetss) October 7, 2018

Exit sandman. Final: ND 45 - VT 23.#GoIrish☘️ #NDvsVT pic.twitter.com/mPCgI59e03

— Notre Dame Football (@NDFootball) October 7, 2018

Week 7

Urban Meyer got a nose job. So did Washington’s mascot.

Now that’s a quality sign on GameDay. pic.twitter.com/jgfcikEisw

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) October 13, 2018

.@Harrythehusky denies having work done pic.twitter.com/LudlsWdZFA

— The Oregon Duck (@TheOregonDuck) October 13, 2018

Maryland essentially with the longest onside kick I've seen. Rutgers is going full Rutgers pic.twitter.com/CndBj5zi0o

— Lamar Johnson (@im_lamar) October 13, 2018

Florida offense update. pic.twitter.com/yXnkLyCyjw

— Matt Hinton (@MattRHinton) October 13, 2018

Ça chauffe au Vanderbilt Stadium entre les deux coaching staffs qui en sont presque venus aux mains sur le terrain. On notera les beaux "Fuck you, Fuck you" du coordinateur défensif des Gators, Todd Grantham.pic.twitter.com/VGHb66b0YE

— TBP College Football (@thebluepennant) October 13, 2018

Nebraska's now 0-6 for the first time.... ever. (129 seasons) pic.twitter.com/q1vDnQmDtG

— SB Nation (@SBNation) October 13, 2018

how did Pitt go from a kicker named "blew it" to a QB named "pick it"

— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) October 13, 2018

Spartan fans burn couches, mattresses, and more after upsetting No. 8 Penn St on Oct. 13, 2018 at Cedar Village Apartments. @thesnews pic.twitter.com/NYswTZweri

— CJ WEISS (@cj_weiss) October 14, 2018

They had to hand out so many personal fouls after one play and fight in the Ole Miss/Arkansas game that the ref had to read the names off his notepad pic.twitter.com/4SE6NH1goT

— BUM CHILLUPS (@edsbs) October 14, 2018

what is happening pic.twitter.com/ISaR6k4XwQ

— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) October 14, 2018

Breiden Fehoko (@breidenfehoko4) joined his dad in the #Haka this time and it was even more awesome #LSU pic.twitter.com/PSqFAAkfS5

— Mark Clements (@MarkClements225) October 13, 2018

Week 8

College. Game. Day. In. Pullman.

Worth. The. Wait. pic.twitter.com/XJRUQ5hqyM

— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) October 20, 2018

Worth. The. Wait. pic.twitter.com/XJRUQ5hqyM

— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) October 20, 2018

NEW WALLPAPER pic.twitter.com/OybFzMAKEI

— CougCenter (@CougCenter) October 20, 2018

This is my everything. pic.twitter.com/ZqEStyMDJg

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) October 20, 2018

Shea Patterson's 6-yard touchdown pass to Nico Collins was the first passing touchdown for Michigan against Michigan State since Denard Robinson found Roy Roundtree for 34 yards. That was 7 years ago.

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) October 20, 2018

How I spent my halftime: Illini field goal attempts of 50 yards or more, last ten seasons... 2009: 0 2010: 3 2011: 0 2012: 2 2013: 1 2014: 2 2015: 4 2016: 2 2017: 2 2018: 6 in seven games

— Robert (@ALionEye) October 20, 2018

Why is there a squirrel on the field? pic.twitter.com/ogkWDDSiJz

— David Harns (@DavidHarns) October 20, 2018

Gary Danielson is just out here roasting Tennessee. "I'm not sure if everyone on Tennessee tried out for Alabama that anyone would start"

— Josh Parcell (@JoshParcell) October 20, 2018

Can’t cover this one up pic.twitter.com/u8Tujd4Qc3

— PB&Mayo (@kthalacker) October 20, 2018

Butch Jones gets a Gatorade bath pic.twitter.com/TDRhdypKjT

— Bill Bender (@BillBender92) October 20, 2018

SMOKE EM IF YOU GOT EM COACH JONES #RollTIde pic.twitter.com/iQa11oN42F

— Chris Owens (@BGChrisOwens) October 20, 2018

college football strength coaches are insane vol. 158 pic.twitter.com/PWsBW1V9t1

— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) October 20, 2018

Follow along. @ODUFootball tied with WKU at 34 and :02 to go. ODU called for roughing the passer. WKU misses 57y FG att ODU called for 12 men on field WKU misses 52y FG att ODU's Harper returns miss to WKU 17 WKU called for facemask ODU's Rice hits GW FG.

— ESPNradio941 (@ESPNradio941) October 21, 2018

Week 9

You thought there was only one notable fan bibliophile this season? You thought wrong.

A Bethune Cookman coach just bought a Runza on the sideline! The vendor kid was so confused! #Huskers #GBR @Sean_Callahan @RobinWashut

— Bryson Nemecek (@bnemecek92) October 27, 2018

Proof pic.twitter.com/R9IEj5do2I

— Bryson Nemecek (@bnemecek92) October 27, 2018

BCU's punter is 5' 4" and has flair pic.twitter.com/kZSNiSPTWV

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) October 27, 2018

How bad are things at Florida State? Well... pic.twitter.com/hm4LIVe7SQ

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) October 27, 2018

Looking for a quiet place for a little scripture study #OnlyatBYU pic.twitter.com/m2jwrIJnCg

— Mikie (@mjscores) October 27, 2018

Louis Vecchio seems like the kind of guy who can snag a mosquito between two chopsticks pic.twitter.com/PAdJFUHVaQ

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 27, 2018

In 2015, Louisville pulled Matt Colburn's scholarship offer 48 hours before National Signing Day. Today, the Wake Forest RB got his revenge pic.twitter.com/fymPWsb0Lj

— ESPN CollegeFootball (@ESPNCFB) October 27, 2018

Picked off by Rhode Island... wait... WHAT? Make that a TD for William & Mary. (via @WMTribeFootball) pic.twitter.com/yfrwKPsc6F

— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) October 27, 2018

I mean, this is 2018: 1. top ten Kentucky 2. Wazzu best Pac-12 playoff hope 3. Northwestern leading Big Ten West 4. Kansas has "wins' 5. UVA leading ACC Coastal 6. UAB 6-1 just a few years after not existing

— BUM CHILLUPS (@edsbs) October 28, 2018

Week 10

Seven years of this nonsense pic.twitter.com/FPFE618tXC

— Christina Stephens ‍ (@CEStephens) November 4, 2018

Week 11

David Cutcliffe is here to steal your girl.

MOOOODDD pic.twitter.com/pMGSjdAuY6

— Rebecca Fiorentino (@beccafiorentino) November 10, 2018

HOLD ON! HOLD ON! pic.twitter.com/MYN1QYmyUr

— ESPN (@espn) November 10, 2018

Every player on Kentucky and Tennessee has been assessed an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. One more for anyone on either side equals an ejection. Good move from the officials. This was teetering on the edge of getting out of hand.

— David Ubben (@davidubben) November 10, 2018

Texas hit Texas Tech with the Crabtree! pic.twitter.com/XwXJLJxHjr

— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) November 11, 2018

Week 12

Earlier, we had feet, but this was a week for hands. Rutgers’ QB needs some. Horns went down, and so did a reporter.

The longest rushing touchdown Alabama has given up since 2015 just came at the hands of The Citadel. pic.twitter.com/XuYv1ZsCX9

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) November 17, 2018

lol Rutgers pic.twitter.com/o3D0GvehRY

— Adam Stites (@AdamStites_) November 17, 2018

This is the best college football fan, do NOT @ me pic.twitter.com/428AEqRJOh

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) November 17, 2018

The irony of Maryland putting up exactly 51 points on Ohio State is just too rich https://t.co/eC3c8lKNFV

— Taylor Estes (@Taylor_Estes_) November 17, 2018

New Kirk doesn't kneel. Up 35-0, @HawkeyeFootball fakes the kneeldown before halftime and runs a play: pic.twitter.com/hiwa2IW21w

— Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) November 17, 2018

Fourth and goal from the 6 and Dana called the same play as he called on the two-point play to beat Texas. Touchdown West Virginia. pic.twitter.com/ahYXPdJRrU

— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) November 18, 2018

Took an L in Athens today. So many thanks to everyone at @UGAAthletics for their help after this happened...even though I’m a Gator pic.twitter.com/b1FTCPaqtH

— Laura Rutledge (@LauraRutledge) November 18, 2018

Week 13

Somewhere, Coach O is still yet to dry off while LSU and A&M play yet another overtime.

Oregon State. What? pic.twitter.com/TgFwzCaOFO

— Woody Wommack (@RivalsWoody) November 23, 2018

#RDR2 pic.twitter.com/fdhHVZ4Dr9

— College Football by SB Nation (@SBNationCFB) November 24, 2018

Blow drying the field. #RollTide pic.twitter.com/byrLBNjhDw

— Greg Byrne (@Greg_Byrne) November 24, 2018

Spotted in the Ohio Stadium stands: “Coach Harbaugh Forever!” pic.twitter.com/WFhfRfxIaA

— Dan Hope (@Dan_Hope) November 24, 2018

YOOOOOOO NC STATE AND CAROLINA THREW HANDS (and my family and I narrated) pic.twitter.com/5PpDroCbqc

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) November 24, 2018

Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon: Two fans began arguing over a tailgate spot for an upcoming football game. One hit the other on the arm with a hammer, but claimed it was an accident. The assailant was arrested.

— Texas A&M Police (@TAMUPolice) November 24, 2018

USC fans financed the airplane banner flying over campus. It reads: “Lynn Swann - Please Fire Clay Helton.” pic.twitter.com/1z2YUD74l5

— Joey Kaufman (@joeyrkaufman) November 24, 2018

things seem to be going marvelously at louisville pic.twitter.com/3c7uUMpH5a

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) November 25, 2018

Ed Orgeron is already covered in Gatorade. For the record. #LSU pic.twitter.com/YoD5Uiwzvs

— The Advocate (@theadvocatebr) November 25, 2018

It's gonna be something we look back at & laugh if LSU loses this pic.twitter.com/D0AR6yHYVE

— #NobodyDied (@ftbeard_17) November 25, 2018

Word is that this person punched LSU's Steve Kragthorpe, who is suffering from Parkinson's. Kevin Faulk's reaction captured here by Hilary. https://t.co/c1pzZ27Jhx

— Shea Dixon (@Sheadixon) November 25, 2018

Championship Weekend

LES BACK. And a reminder that Hell hath no fury like a southern belle while her team is losing.

"F***" pic.twitter.com/QS23p7YVi4

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) December 1, 2018

pic.twitter.com/RrytJRV7Fz

— OddsShark (@OddsShark) December 1, 2018

Middle Tennessee gets whistled for an extra man on the field and UAB captures the Conference USA Championship after that costly mistake. pic.twitter.com/5j681mzc7S

— CBS Sports Network (@CBSSportsNet) December 1, 2018

You can’t make this up. Oklahoma #Sooners commit Trejan Bridges just did the “horns down” celebration after a big TD. He was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct. #txhsfb pic.twitter.com/tE8HPhUdGo

— Joseph Hoyt (@JoeJHoyt) December 1, 2018

Meanwhile in Kansas pic.twitter.com/778fvO2zyO

— Life-long Rams Fan Dan Why-Ner (@DanWeiner) December 2, 2018

On 4th and 11, Georgia dialed up this fake. Alabama was not fooled. pic.twitter.com/FBB8DuG2Kp

— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) December 2, 2018

BOWLS

And finally, the top 10 moments of bowl season, ranked.

No. 1 through No. 10, repeating:

That’s the whole top 10.

Let’s do it again next year, shall we?

0 notes