#MY EX FUCKING SUCKS
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I won’t curse you to handle my love
I’ll take care of it
I’ll feed it & bathe it & kiss it goodnight
We’ll wake before dawn breaks
& when I’m ready I’ll take it for a walk
Back to your favorite park
I’ll hold it gently & tell the stories of our time together
& while we look at the sunrise
Back turned to me eyes glued to the melting sky before us
Take a deep breathe & then
Then,
I’ll kill it myself
Point blank
No room for a mistake
I don’t have it in me to condem you to this
I don’t have it in me to force you to kill it
I’ll kill it myself
I’ll tell it all the things it wants to hear & handle it gently, more gently than you ever did
It will have a drink & eat to it’s full
Full
Fool
I’ll kill it myself.
Y.
#rumoredr3birth#writeblr#writing#literature#poetic#writerscorner#writblr#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#weird and poetic#MUHHH#poems and poetry#is this poetry?#poets on tumblr#poem#poetry#trans poetry#MY EX FUCKING SUCKS
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an extremely abridged version of a longer scene I wrote out months ago, but the longer scene involved mago going up the stairs leading to the senate and I'm gonna be real. I didn't feel like drawing all that when I mostly wanted to test out some pens and see which ones fit best for what I'm envisioning (what I'm envisioning also involved blood and gore).
anyway, I was scribbling away at it on and off during the fall, and I think this particular page is as done as it's going to be (the pens I wanted to test out were tested and I think I figured out the dream team combination for this particular idea)-- maybe next year I'll try and tackle drawing the entire scene out :) it depends on if I. finish reading books. the research pile for this is dense.
As evidence that the joyful tidings he brought were true, [Mago] ordered a quantity of gold rings to be piled up in the vestibule of the Senate-house, and they formed such a great heap that, according to some authorities, they measured more than three modii; the more probable account, however, is that they did not amount to more than one modius. [2] He added by way of explanation, to show how great the Roman losses had been, that none but knights, and amongst them only the highest in rank, wore that ornament. [3] The main purport of his speech was that the nearer Hannibal's chances were of bringing the war to a speedy close the more need there was to render him every possible assistance; he was campaigning far from home, in the midst of a hostile country; [4] vast quantities of corn were being consumed and much money expended, and all those battles, whilst they destroyed the armies of the enemy, at the same time wasted very appreciably the forces of the victor. [5] Reinforcements, therefore, must be sent, money must be sent to pay the troops, and supplies of corn to the soldiers who had done such splendid service for Carthage.
Liv. 23 12
#furthermore Carthage must have it's own tag#komiks tag#ghghhhhhh. i fucked up my back helping to fix a fence and lemme tell you. this shit sucks#im tired and everything Feels Bad. i want to upgrade my spine to some kind of deus ex type of thing.
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There's always some random stranger on the internet that understands exactly how to explain something better than you ever could yourself
#healing#ex christian#deconstruction#atheist#raised by narcissists#writing#thoughts#narcissistic parents#toxic family#toxic parents#parentification#growing up too fast#i dont belong to my parents#you dont own me#you fucking suck#oldest daughter#oldest child
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the thing they don't tell you about most mlm romance books is that they fucking suck ass
#thinking about like. rw&rb. anything by that author that wrote boyfriend material. most anything on kdp. only one i fw was ari and dante but#even then the random transphobia at the end gave a real bad taste in my mouth#im just in a hater mood rn ignore this unless youre also a hater#but anyways that boyfriend material and the sequel husband material books fucking suck so bad#couldnt even finish the second one#felt like it was trying to make a comment on the queer community but in the most lame and het conformist way possible#literally having a boring lawyer character being like ' i dont feel represented by this#when hes talking about a rainbow decorated gay bar#like ok whatever man but why do we care? why is the author trying to moralize this? why does teh prose suck and why is so much casual#bigotry against welsh people in these books#like fr they call out british bigotry against the irish and then turn around#and every welsh character is bumbling idiot with no personality besides being an idiot and talking about being welsh#like. hello???#also i keep adding to these tags but anyways the author also tried to like#make the main character out to be the bad guy?? when his ex boyfriend exposed all his secrets to the press??#and the author like. portrayed the mc as the bad guy for being upset?? like that is what the second book is about???#its so stupid and victim blamely and utterly lame like these books are so uninspired and feel like the author was just. idk???#also dont get me started on how much i hated rw&rb and finished it#i think i have a post somwhere on this blog abtout it
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i think everybody should think about how much of a privilege driving is before they judge people who don’t drive for being immature or whatever. like do you not realize that not everyone had a high school with driver’s ed or parents/older relatives who could teach them, not everyone had time to learn when they were younger, not everyone can afford a car and car insurance and any repairs that a car might need, not everyone lives in a place that is drivable anyway, and not everyone has good vision or a healthy enough brain and/or body to drive. and nobody needs to explain to you why they don’t drive! all you need to know is that the can’t, don’t want to, or it doesn’t make sense for them at this current time in their lives. fuck off!!!!! the response to inadequate public transportation isn’t that everyone should drive instead!!!!!! also everybody complains about bad drivers but people are incentivized to drive regardless of their actual driving ability because it’s shameful not to drive even if it’s a personal choice. and like maybe some people are just not self aware about their own driving abilities but some people just don’t understand that they are in control of a large machine that is dangerous if they don’t operate it properly and they have to be more responsible for the people they’re putting at risk because they don’t care enough to pay attention or follow the rules of the road or keep their tempers under control while they’re behind the wheel. anyway not everyone can or should drive, that’s all
#apropos of nothing i just was thinking about how judgmental my ex and her friends were in college that i didn’t drive#and i was not as bothered by that as i should’ve been lol#because i was low key deeply embarrassed about it so i thought it was kind of fair that they were being dicks about it#it was mostly this one guy. i tried to explain my reasoning but he just didn’t get it and kept pushing that it was dumb not to drive#and like. yeah sometimes it can be limiting but for most of my day to day life it’s not a problem at all#having a car would be a bigger problem to figure out rn#anyway now i think he should just go to hell#he was kind of judgmental a lot actually and had a pretty big ego imo with no reason to be that self centered#my ex was kind of egotistical too but at least she was an extremely interesting and bright individual#it was grating that she thought she was the most interesting person in the room all the time but she actually was lol#anyway. whatever this isn’t about her it’s about ME and not driving#it’s not gonna happen until i have enough money for a car and time to learn how to drive#and probably not until i actually get assessed (+ treated if diagnosed) for adhd bc my biggest fear is being a distracted driver#if anyone has a problem with that they can suck my dick#anyway. anyway.#that’s all i guess#i fucking hate drivers rn the drivers in my city are nuts
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Illymation: Don't be a dick to fat people.
The internet: EWWWW SHE'S GLORIFYING OBESITY LET'S DOX HER!!!!!!!
#illymation#doxxing#like jesus fucking christ#I felt so bad for her#all she did was make a video about her experiences#bitches hate nuance#At least I found out about a cool new youtuber#noah samsen#he's the goat#yes I know he's been doing youtube for years but I JUST found out about him now#anyways I hope Illy's doing okay#she doesn't deserve this#like probecita she had to move states#I'd probably kill myself if I was in her shoes#hope she's doing good#it was her video on her abusive ex that help me realize I was groomed and encouraged me to get psychological help#I'm not saying she's a saint but no one deserves to be doxxed and harrassed the way she was#also fuck tbys#he can suck my dick#man need to get a life
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WIP Wednesday
Thank you so much @celaestis1 for the tag—we're kicking off early this week! (I say, at 10:30pm on a Wednesday my time.)
Something a little (a lot) different this week, but... well, it's work for a fic that's in progress! I decided I'd make my own life a lot easier by using royalty-free backing tracks for at least some of this stuff, but composing/lyric writing to pre-existing music is VERY different to starting from scratch, so this is an ADVENTURE. Hence why I'm starting rhythm-first, then lyrics, then melody. Even though it's not a snippet in the usual sense, I hope you enjoy anyway?
Forever feeling feral for whatever y'all are up to, so tagging @affectionatelyrs @anchoredarchangel @anincompletelist @blairwaldcrf @celeritas2997 @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @dumbpeachjuice @everwitch-magiks @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @matherines @myheartalivewrites @ninzied @notspecialbabe @orchidscript @rmd-writes @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @ssmtskw @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)
#wip wednesday#kiwiana-writes#wip: rockstar alex exes to lovers#cannot fucking believe how hard this has wormed its way into my brain#there's still a part of me that wants to make it fully epistolary but#that scene of henry hearing a song about himself in bed while sucking someone else's dick is :chefkiss:#and it's hard to do that in an epistolary way so#here we are lmao#also tracking wordcount etc for this in my lil writing airtable is gonna be an adventure#but that's future MJ's problem
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Be my Valentine? 🌹
#me#girls with tattoos#valentines day#free the tiddy#brat#im back#tumblr girls#aesthetic#shout out to my ex#you suck#fuck you#myself
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Let me bitch and moan before posting positivity for a sec because Derek DLC doesn't make you feel like you're cheating on Cove if you're dating him because Derek is actually yours and Cove's friend so spending time with him and crashing to his place doesn't feel weird if you do a platonic route. Which is not the same for Baxter DLC because WDYM I CRASH TO BAXTER'S PLACE AFTER INTERACTING WITH HIM FOR 3 DAYS AFTER 5 YEARS HE GHOSTED ME WHAT THE FUCK-
#misty talks our life#our life#olba#derek suarez#misty talks baxter#baxter ward#BAXTER DLC SUCKS IF YOU GO ON PLATONIC ROUTE AND YES IT'S AN ISSUE BECAUSE THE GAME ADVERTISE ITSELF TO HAVE PLATONIC ROUTES#AND THAT IS JUST...WEIRD#idk man personally i wont be crashing to my ex friend house after we didnt see each other for 5 years??#like can we all agree that baxter dlc suck if you do the platonic route#and yes i should be to do the platonic route BECAUSE IS IN THE GAME ADVERTISEMENT#edit: HOUSE HOUSE I MEANT HOUSE#someone said to read my tags and then i realized my mistake#to make it clear going into the house of someone to stya for the night after youve seen each other for3 days is still bad#especially if youre dating cove bc why the fuck arent u going to your boyfriend/husband/fiance hotel?? like i get that is last minute and#the hotel didnt count for another guest but if not im sure jude and scott wouldnt mind if you and cove shared the guest room#BUT NO LET'S GO TO BAXTER'S GUEST ROOM IG???#IM JUST#AND AGAIN#YOUVE SEEN BAXTER AFTER 5 YEARS THAT HE GHOSTED YOU AND YOUVE SEEN EACH OTHER FOR A WEEK AT BEST#IS STILL WEIRD I ACCIDENTALLY MADE IT WORSE LMAO#misty spreading misinfo on the internet#oh and mind you cove stays at the hotel while you alone go to baxters apartment#this sounds more and more like a potentional thriller i wont lie
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i think the reason i cling to male characters so much despite being sapphic is that im like literally obsessed with the idea of a man loving me and being nice to me. something that has never occurred
#this is about to get reeeaaaaaaaalllllllllll venty so just a heads up i just need this off my chest bad#tw vent#im so jealous of the people who have had wonderful male figures in their lives because in no capacity have i ever had that#i've had a positive relationship with. one man in my life#my friend#we're not even like besties or anything. just friends#ive had 3 dads (one biological 2 step) and all of them have fucking sucked and traumatized me#every male ex ive ever had traumatized me#like i just so badly want to believe that there are good men out there#and i know that there are plenty of people out there who love men and have had great relationships#AND IM SO JEALOUSSDLKFJ#im just literally the epitome of daddy issues which is so funny#my stepbrother even calls me “daddy issues”#i dunno im just spewing nonsense but like. its just been heavy on my heart recently#and why ive been struggling with my sexuality so much#blegh#eeeuuuuuuuuughghgggg
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my character lore right now is so funny to me. this is my progen main character chosen one, she is a sweetie pie. this is her wife, who is a bitch. this is her wife's ex girlfriend, who is also a bitch. this is her wife's best friend, who is just kinda lame. together they kill skeleton zombies <3
#this is ofc presage alecto claw and epithet in order#at first i didnt Super like that i basically went#this is my beloved baby girl and her wife who sucks#but giving her fuck ass wife an equally fuck ass ex is SO FUNNY#yes girls make each other worse#alecto is if you made ''gruff jerk man with heart of gold'' a woman and thats on purpose#scribes#pursuit primordial
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i think honestly what irritates me about yoshidas work SO much is that people will tell you that banana fish is THE gay manga (ignoring the many things that came before it and were more groundbreaking, ie MW literally having on screen (or like. on panel but still.) gay sex in it and that came out like a decade before BF did) when there really isn't barely any gay rep outside of the pedophiles and the one time ash drops the f slur. like im sorry but somehow yasha, a work she wrote in 1996, has more gay rep in it but also has the same issues.
i truly do not get how people can enjoy banana fish with the rampant racism every 2 pages or the rampant sexual assault plotlines (on women and ash bc he is just... written like how yoshida writes women lmao) that are handled IMPOSSIBLY bad and sincerely i hoped yasha would be better because it had been like a decade or so between works. and then it proceeds to continue with the heres our blonde genius protagonist who everyone is weird as fuck to and will sexually harrass and everyone finds it a VERY funny joke to point out how feminine he is when theres barely any women in the work (if you exclude the ones that are being raped/killed/creepy to minors. which to be fair yasha has toned down the sa a LOT) and that its funny that hes kind of gay except not really!! and its just absurd to me how it just persists in all of her stuff because she is not an author that handles gay stuff well. like the scene in banana fish where ash is completely ok getting gang raped and did it solely to get into the hospital when its been SHOWN that he has a lot of trauma with that. and then right after his friend makes a joke at ash's expense about that. like sincerely and genuinely is this what we are hyping up as the old retro gay manga. go read some tezuka and stop reading shit that the most the main characters do is share a kiss in a nonromantic sense and is obsessed w making every gay person be evil!!
#twist rambles#sorry mw u will always be famous to me (horrible fucking manga to experience for like 50% of the time but also it rocksss and theres#about anything tw worthy in there but i wish more ppl did read it)#sorry im like. i like to read her stuff bc her art is interesting to me but oh my god it makes me so angryyyy#rape mention#ask to tag#like... you do not understand my one sided rivalry w her it is SO intense like... bf was one of the worst reading experiences ive ever had#my tzk gay recs are: black jack (protag literally has a transmasc ex bf) and mw (for aforementioned reasons but its like. genuinely bonkers#and honestly there r a lot of minor characters that r lgbt in his works and like. can we please read smth that doesnt suck 100% of the time#like idk god bf is so baffling to me bc theres NOTHING there other than like. the new horrors every chapter. and yasha seems to be reusing#some plot points so it double sucks. haunted by the one analysis showing how the two had similar themes and point 1 was literally child#exploitation like... man. god it sucks. like not that mw is perfect bc its not and its a media i have a lot of thoughts on but man. id take#that over bf anyday bc like... sincerely how is anyone looking past the horrors there!! the story is a jumbled mess and it rly doesnt have#much to sayyyy but whatever lol!! id love if the characters were in a better media id love if ash didnt end the story feeling positively#towards the man who groomed him but whateverrrr lol#this is super disorganized as a post but like. genuinely it is so infuriating bc some of the plot concepts in yasha have potential and then#she keeps doing this like!!
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...
#partner that hurt me is staying somewhere else#for a while#and i thought id feel relieved#but i feel like im going through withdrawls#and it sucks so fucking bad#there hasnt been much physical affection#or emotional affection for that matter#for a really long time#so i dont understand why being separated#it making me crave physical contact#in such a visceral fucking way#like i feel nauseous by how bad i want to be held#and it hits in waves too#i've done such a good job at deleting folks from my phone#that i cant even backslide and call an ex lol#i dont understand why i feel this way#and none of my usual tactics are helping much to take the edge off of it#to be deleted
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#so i just posted a “new” art on my twitter#not really new#i just havent posted it because of shadowban#its the gator art#i feel so good about that art bcs not only its my own character its also just reallll hot i love it so much#buti#i just lost 10 followers from posting it#its now sitting on 100 likes#literally everyone hates it#and now my confidence is just so low about it#this happens a lot for some reason#i like the art#people dont like it#and its sad bcs that one is a hit here and in bluesky and in FA#but for some reason on twitter its just#everybody just fucking hate it#if nobody interacts with it im like its fine that means shadowban or whatever#but losing followers?? over a drawing of a muscle fat gator??? that just fucking sucks#i fucking hate this place#i used to be good on playing with twitter but now im just so fucking bad at it#people say its because of algorithm but almost every artist thats good enough are able to post and always get a good reach#anyway i also just found out another EX-friend unfollowed me there as he reach 100k#he started learning to draw after me btw so....#this sucks
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shirt with a heart and child of divorce written on top but then there’s a picture of huntclaire. you wouldnt get it. i do
#child of divorce but theyre married and love each other but actually they’re divorcees#theyre like those couples that get married and then get divorced and then get married again. actually that’s so chic#you should be divorced by the time you’re 27. a little divorce makes life more exciting#do not consider red carpet diaries at all when writing claire but if i were to consider it#she wouldve broken up with hunt sometime after hollywood u and then it would’ve been kind of a divorce#<- well my timeline for hollywood u i mean. that would be in 2016#they get back together but they have even stronger + weirder divorcees vibes#claire is actually a divorced woman. when you think about it. that’s also a great descriptor for hunt but in a different way#so theyre like when you put two spiritually divorced people in a relationship#this makes a lot of sense to me. actually#they have the most loving relationship ever which is gross and disgusting. but when you look at them they have this weird vibe about them#theyre like bitter exes who know too much of each other and one of them is way too comfortable saying stuff in public#what do you mean theyre together and in love#huntclaire#actually i need them so be super fucking weird about each other in public#claire is too familiar with a guy who does Not seem to like her at all. why is she saying this stuff. claire thats tmi#he would do anything for her. he will still argue with her over the most mundane things ever.#her coffee order sucks and he’s not saying all That Stuff to a barista. kill him on the spot.#claire gets an extra cookie bc she threatened to cry#they’re just kinda stuck together idk. something something his line about the universe bending to get them together. he’s bitter about it#it’s also a form of foreplay but i don’t know what the tag limits are#just know that claire is weird about that as well#i mean tbf of course is foreplay what else would this be. how is this dynamic feasible otherwise#it’s*
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Google.com how do I beat the absolute living shit out of my friend's fuckass dad
#HE FUCKING SUCKS. NOT JUST IN MY OPINIPN BUT LIKE MY FRIEND AGREES TOO#hes been kicked out of bars + is bankrupt + has a history of verbally abusing his ex wife + ex girlfriends#AND HE WAS MY MOMS BOYFRIEND FROM 2020-2022 JESUS CHRIST DUDE....#sorry for the rant we hate this man#we hate him so much jesus christ#original posts#ask to tag#and also sorry if this is sharing too much /gen WE JUST HATE HIM. RIGHT WHEN WE THINK HE CANT GET ANY WORSE HE DOES
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