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jisungsbff01 · 1 year ago

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Get You The Moon | c.bc

...pairing...bangchan x reader

...w.c...1.7k

...genre...fluff\comfort

...warnings...(mentions of mental health | depression\burnout)

...characters...Y/N, Chan, HanJi, mentions of the rest of SKZ

...synopsis...having mental health issues are bad, especially when you don't want to burden anyone, especially your boyfriend. But he already knows something is wrong and he's there to help you through

...a/n... Knowing how I am, personally...I thought that some of you might need a little comfort especially if you' re going through a hard time. I hope you all enjoy <3 and if you ever need anyone to talk to but you want strict confidentiality or you don't feel comfortable talking to those in your life, I will be here- feel free to DM me

-published: 21.08.23-

This is a pure work of fiction

<3 The suffocating feeling of your thoughts weighed more than you could bear at this moment. The thoughts that plagued your mind were buzzing up a headache. He had always told you to come to him if you were struggling. That he would rather hear from you and hear about your struggles than hear you were struggling and he wasn't there. Every thought that was crossing your mind was like a dart that was itching to hit the bullseye to get you to snap...to break down and each time they were getting closer to pushing you over the edge and into a deep pit you didn't even dig for yourself.

With all the lights off in the shared apartment, you had with your long-term boyfriend, Chan, and everything so quiet that you could hear a pen drop from the opposite end of the complex. All of these elements hollowed out your chest, wracking a heavy sob from your body. This marked the beginning of a long night of blaming yourself for everything that has ever gone wrong in your life, even the events that you thought to be long forgotten, they all resurfaced.

You never knew what triggered these episodes of depression and anxiety so bad you thought you might have to be hospitalized. But you knew it all needed to be let out, so that is what you allowed it to do on its own. At this point, it had been eight or nine hours since Chan had heard from you and you knew that he was probably worried after you texted him that you were not feeling well. But, why bother him when he was so busy with the boys, all of them preparing for not only a comeback but a tour as well. Consciously you couldn't pull him away from things that were more important than you just having a cry, right?

Wrong.

This is when messages started to flood your phone...

First to light up the screen was Chan of course...

ChannieBaby<3: Baby, is everything okay? It's been a while since you've been active and I just want to check in on you...call me when you can. I love you.

Then from Jisung...

QuokkaJi: Y/N hyung is worried about you, is there anything you wanna talk about with me that you can't with him? Just text one of us so we know you are okay...

Then Felix, and the rest all piled onto your notification bar. You wanted to answer...you really did. But you felt paralyzed in guilt and just this empty feeling. All you wanted was to be held, for so much pressure to surround you to the extent of you having a hard time physically breathing. But you didn't want to pull any of them away from their preparations to come. They had more important engagements at the moment. That’s when you felt your phone begin vibrating and the screen lighting up with Chan's contact name. And you let it ring. Relief slightly eased your body, not wanting him to know there was anything wrong with you. Then Jisung called...and called....and called. Until you had eight missed calls from him along with more messages from the group of boys. Jisung called one more time and this time you found the will and energy to grab your phone and answer.

Y/N?

Ji?

Are you okay?! We've all been trying to get in contact with you, are you okay?!

Then you began sobbing even more guilt wracking your body. Even if you tried to hide how badly you were struggling, they all seemed to have this supernatural intuition if anything was wrong. And there was something bad, you just didn't know what it was.

No...I don't know, Ji...it hurts

What hurts, Y/N what happened? You heard the panic in his voice.

I don't know...everything. I just feel everything and nothing all at once and it all hurts, Ji.

Y/N Chan is on his way, he should be there at any moment, just stay on the phone with me until he gets there, okay?

You nod even though he wasn't able to see the gesture. He and Chan were the only two to know just how bad you could get in times like this. Jisung always knew what to say in these moments to jumpstart the beginning of you feeling a little better. He started taking your mind off of your own emotions just until Chan got there. Once he did, you broke down even more.

You mumbled to your best friend that Chan was finally there and a thank you. Limply, you rolled over to your boyfriend's side of the bed as he crouched to eye-level with you, examining your face. As he began to slide into the covers, he brought his hand to your forehead to check your temperature, noting the normality of it. His hand settled on the side of your cheek and he spoke.

"What's going in that head of yours, baby?"

Your body curled into his, seeking comfort, which he glady handed over. As if you deserved it.

"I don't know, everything all at once and it's so much where I can't breathe, I can't move, I just...I just..." your body begins to panic slightly and you begin taking low, gasping breaths, "it just hurts, baby."

You clutch at your chest and he asks you what you need from him. You just pull his arms around your frame and all but beg him to squeeze your body. And he does so…once you begin to feel the deep pressure, you bring your arms around the back of his neck and begin to shake, trying to find your breath again. All the while he whispers words of praise, love, and encouragement in your ear. At some point, your body shuts down from the exhaustion it was put through.

6:23am

As if on its own clock, your body wakes itself up. In front of you lays your beautiful boyfriend as he texts someone, still holding onto one of your hands. His eyes dart to you, seeing you slowly become aware of the world around you and he puts his phone back into the pocket of his sweatpants. The warmth from his body seeps into your cold body, a give-and-take of temperatures. Pressure against your forehead makes itself at home once he presses his lips softly against the center. Not a word is spoken, at the moment nothing needs to be said and both of you know it. You take a moment to bask in the comfort of having him here in such a simple way. That is until you feel him pulling your body closer to his side of the bed until he is standing. He guides you to your feet and begins dressing you in an outfit similar to his; dark-colored sweatpants, a loosely fitting shirt of his, and one of his hoodies.

All of this and nothing is still spoken.

The two of you made your way to the front door and he slips your shoes onto your feet and he quickly does the same to his own. You decide to break the silence once you are outside of the complex, "Chan, where are we going?"

He shyly smiles, grasping your hand in his, and replies to you, " You'll see, just be patient."

While heading to your unknown destination the pair of you finally make conversation, starting with how he and the boys are progressing. But it all comes to a sudden stop when he pulls you in front of his body, pressing your back to his chest and his arms made purchase around your waist. The two of you stare at the Han River from the bridge, the fading stars still there slightly and the moon still shining strong even with the sun peeking ever so slightly over the horizon. From behind you, he takes a deep breath, "Listen to me when I say, I need you to come to me for anything, Y/N. I know you’re used to not have a good support system for nearly anything, but I am here for you. I am here with you. No matter what you are struggling with, I am here to help with the burden of whatever it is, yeah? I want to be here with you for a very very long time and I could never bear for anything to happen to you. Come to me, hell, even Han, or one of the kids. Just come to one of us. We all love you so much, you are never too much. Whatever thoughts you had, the ones telling you that you were or are a burden or that you're distracting us. They are all wrong. And don't tell me that isn't what was happening-I know you too much for you to try to convince me otherwise. I want to come here when we are old so we can see this again. It's too beautiful not to see."

Silent tears were in your eyes, not confident you weren't going to let them fall. You turn around to face the man you were oh so in love with, hands on the side of his profile, "I'm sorry I made any of you worry, that wasn't my intention. I know you guys are all going to be busy really soon with the tour and the comeback I just didn't want to take fro-"

He cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours sweetly, your breath bring stolen from your lungs.

"No matter if we are in the middle of all of that, come to me. You come first, Y/N. You are first."

You nod, finally understanding and comprehending where you lie on his list...

"I would do anything for you, Y/N. I want it all for you, I swear."

You really didn't know what to say so you just said, "I love you."

"I love you, my moonlight. Now, do you want to go get food with the boys?"

You eagerly shook your head in a 'yes' motion and he pulled you behind him to meet the rest, feeling so much better and so loved.

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