#Louis still recognised him two years later

[sunshineandlyrics]

This is about Louis meeting Rena again, in front of his hotel in Santiago, Chile, 4 April 2024 x x x

Rena's Mum said that Louis recognised him and called him over. Louis smiled at the flowers and asked if they had anything for him to sign but he was hurried, so Louis asked them to wait until he return from the radio station so he could spend some time with Rena, and Ben repeated the instructions. One of Louis' bodyguards was translating for them. When Louis returned to the hotel, he and Rena hugged and Louis signed a DVD and CD.

Rena is the kid that Louis tweeted about in 2020, and then met at his LTWT Santiago concert in 2022.

Tweets (2020) x

When they met (2022) x

[faerywhimsy]

Vamptember Day 12 - "Love never dies a natural death"

Today I'm back to my nonsense about my beloved Bianca Solderini.

Here is a chronology of our girl Bianca: Marius' briefly human companion after Santino abducts Amadeo, burning down the Palazzo and leaving Marius a blackened shadow of his former self. Marius brings Bianca into the blood. They occasionally argue to the point where Marius cloud gifts her to a place she can't return to him again, before he feels really bad about it and brings her back again—

While there's an argument to be made that—just as The Vampire Armand was Armand's burn book—Blood and Gold was Marius' maudlin self pity after seeing Armand in Queen of the Damned, I'm still sore about that.

Bianca accepts his temper is just a part of Marius and stands loyal by him for centuries. But they come to a permanent separation after Bianca overhears the way Marius throws her aside for the possibility of being with Pandora again. Like, does Bianca comfort him on the night Pandora rejects, bringing Marius to her cold grave. "It is early for you, but I must go and I can't leave you this way." <3

Less than a page later, as soon as Marius is himself again, my girl, like a boss, informs him in no uncertain terms that she's finally put up with enough and is leaving.

"I heard the things you said to her. And I'm leaving you."

This is around the mid-17th century.

So it's not impossible Bianca goes immediately from Marius in Dresden to Armand in Paris in that brief, possible interaction in TVA before Armand comes across Louis for the first time. Likely she's licking her wounds and building her courage. But then Armand scares her away.

This actually does make a great deal of sense from Bianca's PoV. Marius had regularly been utilising the Telamasca to keep tabs not just on Pandora, but also on Amadeo (now of course Armand). Through Marius, Bianca understands Armand has spent the last hundred years making himself coven master to the Children of Darkness. At his worst, he has completely eschewed any softer feelings or the lessons Marius left him with over only killing the evil doer. In fact, the more innocent the mortal, the more pleasure Armand seems to take in the killing.

Secondhand knowledge is confirmed by reality at the dawn of the 20th century: Armand has changed from the Amadeo she loved into a man Bianca has no ability to recognise.

And then... We don't see Bianca chronologically in canon until Lestat finds her and Allesandra in Paris in Prince Lestat.

It's the century between that visitation at the turn of the 20th century and the end of it that captivates me. Bianca isn't at all present or mentioned by the time we have Queen of the Damned in 1988. Other characters that she's later seen with in Prince Lestat are present for Akasha's Burnings.

And so my investigation begins.

Maybe Bianca had not forgiven Marius by the time Pandora and Santino (🙃) were searching for Marius at the beginning of Akasha's reign of terror. And that's why Bianca did not come to his aid. (It's not like Armand pulled himself away from Daniel either.)

That explanation suffices, or else more simply: The first burning passed over Bianca and her still relatively new fledgling. They were grateful and saw no need to involve themselves in happenings that were by majority occurring on the other side of the world. It's just... they were not so lucky when it came to the second Burning.

"But I'll tell you that, why I am suffering," Bianca said, drawing near but talking in a normal and not a confidential voice, her arm slipping around me [Lestat]. "I lost one I loved in the attack in Paris, a young one, one I'd made and lived with for decades. But this was the Voice at work, not the one he'd brought out of the earth to do his bidding."

This moment where Bianca is just... comfortable enough to slip her arm around Lestat? It's so incredibly maddening to me because the two of them have never before had an interaction on the page before Paris.

How does this moment between Lestat and Bianca come about? There are two obvious options that immediately come to mind for an explanation, then, of the affection evident between Bianca and Lestat (outside of the love every vampire in this universe has for Lestat).

1) more happened between Armand and Bianca directly in the years between 1998 (TVA) and 2013 (PL) when Lestat and Armand were on better terms (??)

2) Armand told Lestat of his beloved Bianca Solderini before Lestat went into the ground

Picture this: Lestat is weakened from Louis' and Claudia's attack on him. He asks and is refused healing blood from Armand. Fair enough. Maybe Armand makes a throwaway line, "I wouldn't give my healing blood to even my beloved Bianca Solderini if she had treated me as you have!"

It's entirely possible Armand would have mentioned her here, after all. Remember he thinks he sighted Bianca in Paris earlier in the decade.

And so Lestat, hurting and humbled, wanders back towards New Orleans. But it just so happens that Bianca has also found herself in this part of the world at the same time. She has come across the occasional immortal on her travels up till now but, with them, a quick scan of the mind always shows little more than whether or not there is an intention to harm.

Lestat's mind is different in two ways: He is clearly far from his best but, also, there are familiar figures in this immortal's mind. Marius, and Armand.

They stare at each other in shock, hardly able to parse that they have two such influential figures on each of their lives in common - yet they have never before met. Bianca immediately offers him aid, and Lestat's mind throws up the memory of the words Armand threw at him.

She doesn't completely recoil. Bianca's used to Marius' temper. She knows how unkind men can be and does not jump to assume either Lestat or Armand must be the right. She's just tired, so tired of being alone. So she asks Lestat to give her stories of Armand and, in exchange, she will offer him a little of her blood that is almost as powerful as Armand's.

Lestat accepts this deal, and Bianca hears about Armand from someone other than Marius for the first time in almost 400 years. She ends up in tears with it. Lestat cannot stand the idea of yet another blood drinker flying into a rage over what is only truth to him. He knows he will not survive it, even with the small amount of blood she has granted him.

That will be just enough to get him safely the rest of the way back to New Orleans.

And so, while Bianca mourns, Lestat takes his leave from her, apologising, thanking her for her kindness, but asking her not to follow him.

She doesn't. Bianca wishes Lestat well and thinks on him often while he sleeps.

Because he is the last blood drinker she holds company with for several decades. By the 1950s, she finds herself in California, at which point the mind of a human girl captivates her. She is strong, this girl, recently sent away from her family to give birth to a baby she was forced to then give up for adoption.

But this girl refuses to fall down to depression despite the current isolation from her family, her younger brother, her old friends. She's getting her diploma in night classes, and Bianca finds herself quietly stalking her, curious at her thoughts and her resilience.

She's not as subtle as she thinks she is, and the girl confronts her one night, telling her that if she's going to be appearing out of nowhere every night, the very least she can do is buy her a soda.

The first time Bianca reaches for her hand, the girl pulls it away, before realising she doesn't need to worry anymore about what others might think of her holding another woman's hand. Bianca asks her where she would like to go in the world if she could go anywhere. Her eyes light up at the idea of being able to leave California behind her.

And this is the fledgling Bianca mentions in passing. The reason Bianca does not appear in Queen of the Damned is explained: Bbecause her fledgling refused to go back to California, and Bianca wouldn't make her. Lestat gave her the highlights after it was all over. He even visited the two of them on one of his visits to France.

The hug Bianca gives to Lestat in that moment of Prince Lestat, then, gets to be a quiet moment of recognition between them. Bianca is glad to know Lestat is okay because she can't help but think of their first meeting, and this time it is Bianca who's the one that's utterly bereft, while Lestat is as fit and healthy as Bianca was on their first meeting.

Their roles have quite reversed.

@vamptember

[loudenver]

Louis sometimes wondered if maybe he'd maybe taken Ivy for granted in college sometimes. They'd been thrust together with neither really having a say in the matter, for a short moment in time he'd been nothing to her other than her best friend's boyfriend. It had taken a lot of Louis cleaning up his act and plenty of butted heads before he'd grown to see Ivy as a friend, and then a member of his fucked up little family. Slowly, they'd learned all the things they had in common. Ivy didn't like all the same books and music as him, but her sense of humour was wicked sharp and often filthy, and had always had Louis doubled over. He'd often caught her eye across the room when Wardo had done something so painfully, inexplicably Wardo, something so pretentious and ridiculous that only the two of them would realize just how funny it was. Still, all these years later, it still sometimes caught him off guard when he remembered just how similar he and Ivy were. For example, the woman had a scary affinity for saying exactly the thing Louis was thinking.

The two scrappy little underdogs currently taking up residence in Ivy and Louis' laps were a perfect representation of one of Louis' favorite character archetypes. The one who'd had to fight the hardest, the character nobody had quite believed in. Trust Ivy and Louis both to recognise that trait in the weakest of the litter, it was a trait they'd both long since recognised in themselves.

As though realising they were no longer holding Louis and Ivy's attention, a sea of kittens began to descend onto Ivy's lap, batting at her chestnut curls and kneading at her clothes. She gave in easily, with the air of someone who'd gotten used to becoming a human scratching post, and simply settled back against the carpet, her elbows keeping her propped upright.

"There's no way you're parting with all these guys." Louis called, a smile breaking across his own face as he listened to Ivy's giggles, mingling in the air with a cacophony of loud meows.

The sound of a loud crack splitting the air disrupted the particularly sweet image, Louis' head whipping around to attempt to determine the source of the noise. A dent appeared between his brows as he furrowed them, casting a worried glance Ivy's way.

"That was Wardo?" he asked, disbelief coating his tone, a thumb jammed in the direction of the noise. Pressing his hand to the ground, he moved to pull himself upright, before the most ridiculous sight in the world greeted him.

He recognised his own reader's copy of Christopher Street nestled between the teeth of Ivy's eldest cat. It bore the wear and tear of a well thumbed book, the edges curling where no doubt Ivy had fallen asleep reading. And now, there would be tooth marks to add to it. There was a story there, at least.

"Aw, come on." he huffed good naturedly, pulling himself into a standing position before tentatively approaching the cat. Wardo the cat gave him a defiant look as he peered up at him between mouthfuls of his debut novel. "That's not for you, kitty. Wrong Wardo."

With a quick scratch behind the cat's ears, he distracted him long enough to retrieve his book, mostly unscathed. He ran a palm over the minimalist cover, as though he could work out the marks and the curled cover with his hand alone. Louis had never really been precious about his books, anyway.

"Well, I'm glad the whole family is gettin' some enjoyment out of this thing." he laughed, fingers running the length of the cracked spine. The book was a veritable brick, so long it was hard to read without doing some serious damage to the spine. So much so that when you held it, it fell open to whatever page the reader had last been on, almost no need for a bookmark. Still, Ivy had tucked a ticket to a Ranger's game in place, so there was no doubt about where she'd left off reading.

Louis knew this book like the back of his hand. He'd poured over various rewrites, whole paragraphs had been shifted and changed under his hand, so he knew which bit of the narrative was unfolding beneath Ivy's bookmark. They had been the hardest chapters for him to write, it had taken... weeks, months, maybe? And insistent prodding from his editor to turn the pages in on time. They'd become a benchmark readers warned each other about online, bemoaning tears and a need to put the book down when those chapters were reached. He never wanted anyone to be uncomfortable reading, the subject matter was as vague as it could possibly be without having written it at all, but the chapters were both painful and necessary.

"You've, uh, read all this?" Louis asked, voice wavering.

Of course, one of the drawbacks of writing down your life story in a fictionalised format was that eventually people read it.

Ivy was an affectionate person, despite her glib nature and often icy exterior. Pet names dripped from her tongue regularly, she rewarded hugs aplenty, and she told her friends she loved them with as much frequency as she could. She wasn’t the best at committing romantically, but the love she had for her friends was all-encompassing and never faltered. With that in mind, it still came as a shock to her how open and easy Louis had become with her, never once shying away from a warm embrace or tucking her into his side. Though the two of them still bickered like petulant siblings, he’d embraced tenderness over the years and regularly made her blush with embarrassment, hiding away from his earnest nature and his endless displays of sentiment. 

“Aw, shut it,” she breathed, rolling her eyes for emphasis.  

She was grateful for those fleeting seconds where Lou’s head was tucked against her shoulder, reveling in the fact that he couldn’t see just how rosy her cheeks were, nor the smile she was fighting to obscure. 

The two of them watched fondly as Sadie and Lee danced around one another carefully, their movements gentle as they played – nothing at all like the harsh, scrappy way their siblings fought. She shot Louis a sidelong glance at his question, a smirk pulling at the corners of her lips. She knew he’d attach himself to the pair of them – there hadn’t been a single doubt in her mind – and she delighted in the fact that she’d been right. While it was true that Ivy had also grown fond of the pair, she knew she couldn’t keep all of the kittens, and she wanted to ensure that Louis got the two that were dearest to him, as dorky as it sounded. 

“Maybe. Like, just a little, y’know?” she admitted, offering a gentle shrug of her shoulders. “You know I'm partial to an underdog, dude.” 

Tenderly, she traced her forefinger along Sadie’s tiny body, perched as she was on Louis’ knee. Her little ears pricked up, her head soon following, and before she knew it, her secret namesake was joining Lee as her clambered all over Ivy. As though sensing a disturbance in the force, the five remaining kittens all seemed to turn their attention on Ivy, untangling themselves from whatever scrap they’d gotten themselves into. Seemingly jealous of the attention Ivy was giving to Lee and Sadie, the rest of the kittens begun pawing at her from every angle, their weak mewls filling the air as an array of claws sunk into the fabric of her sweats, kittens of varying colours pulling themselves up onto her lap and swarming her, desperate for attention. 

A howl of laughter spilled from Ivy’s lips as she glanced at Louis, bemused by the sudden appearance of seven kittens now making themselves home on whatever inch of her body they could find. She slipped backwards, dropping onto her elbows as Sasquatch – notably the largest of the bunch – tried to crawl up her arm. Her eyes scanned the area around them for any sight of Wardo, who seemed to have disappeared in those fleeting moments, and she frowned. He’d probably grown bored and disappeared back to her bedroom. 

Just as that thought entered her mind, a loud bang filled the air, startling the kittens in her lap, all clinging ever tighter to her than before. She winced, recognising the tell-tale sounds of her bedside table crashing to the ground; Wardo was forever trying to take naps on the damn thing, never understanding that he was too big. 

“You mind, uh, checking on him?” Ivy asked, gesturing vaguely to her current predicament. 

Before Louis could move a muscle, though, she heard the soft pitter-patter of Wardo’s paws exiting her bedroom. Glancing over her shoulder, Ivy’s eyes widened at the sight of him, a hand coming up to clamp over her mouth, stifling a laugh that threatened to break through. There, in her living room, stood Wardo Jr, with a rather sizeable proof copy of Christopher Street trapped between his teeth. 

“Uh... Yeah, you might wanna go and retrieve that? I’m haven't finished reading it yet,” Ivy snorted. 

[nordleuchten]

The Champ de Mars Massacre

Your back is aching, your muscles ache. The past days, no, weeks, you have helped to level the Champ de Mars, you have helped to fill up the puddles, to raise tribunes - all that hard labour for this day. The 14th of July 1790. To the day one year prior you were amongst the crowd that stormed the Bastille. Today is the anniversary of your Revolution. Thousands upon thousands of people have gathered today to celebrate. Not just from Paris but from all over France. Every Department and every Province has send its people, has send representatives and soldiers - their banners fly in the breeze. You here the people shout and roar “Vive le roi! Vive la reine!” and you join in in the jubilation as does your beloved right next to you. “Vive le roi! Vive la reine!” The members of the National Assembly stand together on the Champ the Mars, the King is there as well with his family, an altar had been erected in the middle of the field. General La Fayette rides in on his white stallion. He is the Hero of Two Worlds, the knight of the Revolution, the champion of the people - or so you fought then.

It is a hot and sunny day in July once again - but a whole year has passed. It is the 17th of July, a Sunday, a holy day. People have gathered on the Champ de Mars and this time it is not in celebration. The people are angry, they feel betrayed. This year, in 1791, thousands upon thousands have gathered to sign a petition, a petition to put the king on trial for the crimes he had committed against his people. Everything seemed orderly enough at first but then the people spotted two men hiding under the altar that still stood there from the celebration of 1790. The crowed fought there were spies and so they decapitated them and put their heads on spikes. Everything went downhill from there on. Troops of the National Guard arrived, the mayor of Paris, Monsieur Bailly arrives, martial law is declared, the soldiers are firing at the crowed and miss, the crowed throw stones at the troops, the soldiers fire again - they hit their targets this time, You see people fall, women, and man and children - god, they are firing at the children too! The crowed dispenses, all is confusion and hurry now, your beloved is no longer by your side as you start to run. There is shouting about a cannon that is supposedly about to be fired. More people fall. As you hurry to safety, you turn around one last time and see General La Fayette standing by his National Guard as they fire into the crowed. Is that what has become of the peoples hero?

Within little more than a year La Fayette went from the zenith of his influence and popularity to a record low. In 1790, during the Fête de la Federation, his carefully put together image had been approved by the people of France. In 1791 however, with the Champ de Mars Massacre, his image began to suffer severely and he had in great parts lost the love of the people. Right when it happened, the events of July 17, 1791 were used for propaganda from ever party and every side. It was played-down, blown out of proportions, made into something it was not, numbers and details were changed to make one group look more or less guilty. What remained though was the fact that La Fayette was at the centre of the events. His exact role in the massacre as well as everything that happened that day is often hard to determine, exactly because the massacre was so heavily used for political and propaganda purposes at the beginning. So here is a little overview about the things we know or at least thing we know.

What Happened? - The Context:

The officials had expected large protests on the 14th of July, the anniversary of the Revolution but the 14th passed rather peaceful. On the 17th however, the atmosphere started to heat up. Barely a month before, from July 20 to July 21, the King, Louis XVI, the Queen, Marie Antoinette, their children and other immediate members of the Royal Family had tried to flee from Paris to Montmédy. The flight failed and they were recognised and stopped in Varennes-en-Argonnne and after that brought back to Paris. La Fayette and other government officials tried to present the events as an attempted kidnapping of the King - that was of course complete nonsense, there was no kidnapping whatsoever and everybody knew that. The flight to Varennes painted La Fayette in a particular bad light for two reasons. First, there had been rumours of a possible escape by the King long before the actual attempt was made. It was La Fayette, among others, who had time and time again sworn that the King would not attempt to flee. He had accepted the constitution, he had become a monarch under the constitution and would not betray the loyalty of the French people in such a fashion. Second, it was the National Guard under the command of La Fayette who was tasked with safeguarding the King - and making sure that he would not escape. Their failure shed a very bad light on La Fayette. At best his guard was undisciplined and he had not enough control over them. At worst, he was fully aware of the royal families’ plans and aided them by instructing the guardsmen to look the other way.

On July 17, a petition had been drafted and the people were called upon to assemble and to sign the petition. This endeavour was first backed by the Jacobins but leading members later withdraw the support of the Jacobins as they had been urged by Robespierre himself to so. It was too little and too late however, as many people in the crowd that day would have identified as Jacobins.

The undersigned Frenchmen, members of the sovereign people, considering that, in questions concerning the safety of the people, it is their right to express their will in order to enlighten and guide their deputies,

That no question has ever arisen more important than the King's desertion,

That the decree of 15 July contains no decision concerning Louis XVI,

That, in obeying this decree, it is necessary to decide promptly the future of this individual,

That his conduct must form the basis of this decision,

That Louis XVI, having accepted Royal functions, and sworn to defend the Constitution, has deserted the post entrusted to him; has protested against that very Constitution in a declaration written and signed in his own hand; has attempted, by his flight and his orders, to paralyze the executive power, and to upset the Constitution in complicity with men who are today awaiting trial for such an attempt,

That his perjury, his desertion, his protest, not to speak of all the other criminal acts which have proceeded, accompanied, and followed them, involve a formal abdication of the constitutional Crown entrusted to him,

That the National Assembly has so judged in assuming the executive power, suspending the Royal authority and holding him in a state of arrest,

That fresh promises from Louis XVI to observe the Constitution cannot offer the Nation a sufficient guarantee against a fresh perjury and a new conspiracy.

Considering finally that it would be as contrary to the majesty of the outraged Nation as it would be contrary to its interest to confide the reins of empire to a perjurer, a traitor, and a fugitive, [we] formally and specifically demand that the Assembly receive the abdication made on 21 June by Louis XVI of the crown which had been delegated to him, and provide for his successor in the constitutional manner, [and we] declare that the undersigned will never recognize Louis XVI as their King unless the majority of the Nation express a desire contrary to the present petition

What happened next could have come straight out of a comedy - were it not to trigger a bloodbath. The crowed that had assembled that day spotted two “suspicious man”. Now, we do not know who this men were or what they intended - in all likelihood they just sat there and tried to relax and sleep, maybe find some shade on such a hot day, maybe all they wanted was to get a peek under the skirts of the women who had assembled as well. They hide behind the altar that had been left from the Fête de la Federation and this behaviour prompted the crowd to assume that they were spies who wanted to denounce the people present. The crowed attacked the men, beheaded them and paraded their head around on spikes. The crowed, who had previously already worried the Parisian officials, now had committed two murders. It is from this point on, that things get a bit more tricky.

What Happened? - The actual Massacre:

We start this portion of the post with an excerpt from La Fayette’s Memoirs to form a basis.

The affair of the Champ de Mars has been misrepresented with an extraordinary degree of audacity ; it became the pretext for the sufferings to which the magnanimity of the virtuous Bailly was so long exposed in that capital to which he had devoted himself during the whole course of a very difficult magistracy, with an affectionate and enlightened zeal. (…)

The 14th of July the anniversary of the confederation was celebrated. All appeared tranquil. But the 17th of July, a meeting took place in the Champ de Mars, to sign the petition drawn up by Laclos, and corrected by Brissot.

Two invalids, who, from a feeling of idle curiosity, had concealed themselves under the altar of the country, were seized ; their heads were cut off, and placed on two pikes, to be exhibited through the streets of Paris. The commander-in-chief [La Fayette] hastened to the spot, with a detachment of national guards. The rioters, with some ringleaders at their head, formed a barricade around themselves with carts ; across one of these carts a man pointed a musket at the commander-in-chief, but it missed fire. The national guards, springing over the barricade seized the culprit, and dragged him towards the commander-in-chief, who ordered him to be set at liberty. It is well known that the jacobins imputed the deliverance of this assassin to a concerted scheme, until he came forward, himself to boast of his conduct at the bar of the convention. The people who surrounded the altar, and some of those who were in the Champ de Mars, promised the commander and two commissaries of the commons to separate, after having peaceably signed the petition, for no person had ever thought of opposing that signature.

Several hours thus passed ; a detachment of the national guard had been stationed outside the Champ de Mars to watch over any hostile movements that might occur, and it was thought at the Hotel de Ville that all would pass quietly, when some persons came to denounce to the assembly the real projects of the rioters against the assembly itself. They intended doing what has been done since, on the 10th August, 31st May, and 4th prairial.

The national assembly decreed that the mayor of Paris should take measures to secure their safety, that of the Tuileries, and of the capital. It was in consequence of the unanimous injunctions of that same assembly that the mayor of Paris and the council of the commune published martial law. M Bailly sallied forth at the head of a battalion of grenadiers, which performed duty each day at the Hotel de Ville, to proceed, as a reserve corps, to the place in which public order was most disturbed ; the commander-in-chief, to whom information of this step was given, joined them on the road.

They presented themselves before the entrance of the Champ de Mars, and were received with a shower of stones ; some fire-arms were also used ; a pistol was fired at the mayor whom the ball narrowly missed, when he was on the point of making his proclamation. During this attack, the national guard fired in the air to avoid wounding any one ; but the assailants, emboldened by this moderation redoubled their attack against the municipal officers and national guards, of whom some were wounded, and amongst the number an aide-de-camp ; two volunteer chasseurs were killed ; the national guard then fired in earnest. The loss that ensued on the part of the assailants has been most grossly exaggerated ; the rioters were dispersed principally by the cavalry, who did not use their arms.

 All the events that he describes, happened that way - it is however questionable if they happened exactly that way. What also comes to mind is La Fayette’s phrasing of the events: he wrote that the National Guard did certain things but never what his actual orders were. This vague language is quite crucial in understanding his part in the whole event. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

In short, while we can be reasonably sure that somebody did indeed shot at La Fayette, we can not be completely sure if that happened during the first or second encounter between the Guard and the crowed. La Fayette would not have gained much from placing the attack on him at an earlier hour so we are going to believe him with that. It is also unsure how much time exactly passed when La Fayette wrote “several hours”. But these details are rather minor and even if they were wrongly reported, do not change the outlook on the event as a whole. More interesting is the question about the declaration of Martial Law. La Fayette presents it as if he had nothing to do with it while other sources claim that he was among the men urging Mayor Bailly to do so.

On to the most interesting part. Who gave the order to fire and when was this order given?

La Fayette claims that the he and his guard were attacked with stones and that during this attack he ordered his men to fire warning shots into the air (in his memoirs he is not as clear about it as in earlier statements were he admitted that he ordered his men to fire into the air - but solely into the air). Other accounts say that the crowed only threw stones after the guardsmen had shot at them while again different sources claim that the soldiers never fired into the air but directly at the people. Whatever happened, at one point the Guard did indeed fire at the people. Now, La Fayette was eminent that he never gave that order - and I think I believe him. Such an action would not be typical for him. But who could have given the order? Some sources state that Bailly gave the order and because he was Mayor, the National Guard followed his order. Again, other reports state that nobody gave the order and that the soldiers just fired on their own.

I find all of these reports questionable. The most logical explanation would be that La Fayette, as commander-in-chief gave the command. But as I stated earlier, I have great trouble imaging that … maybe I am biased but I just can not see La Fayette giving such a command. I also do not believe that Bailly gave the order. I could imagine that the Guard shot on its own. Maybe one of the men was frightened and pulled the trigger, maybe even by accident or in an act of self-defence, and his comrades followed suite, thinking that there had been an order - then again, what are the probabilities of that happening?

Several sources mention that La Fayette tried to stop his troops as soon as he realised what had happened. One report even claimed that he physically put himself between the crowed and a cannon that was about to be fired. He did not however mention any of these actions in his Memoirs. If there was massacre on the civilian population and you tried to prevent or at least end this massacre, you would mention that in your Memories, would you not?

Where does of all of that leaves us? In the worst case, La Fayette actively ordered his guards to fire into a mostly unarmed civilian crowed. In the “best” case, La Fayette did not order the massacre himself but had too little control and influence over his own troops that he could not prevent the event from happening. Because, as Tom Chaffin put it in his book Revolutionary Brothers:

Whatever actually happened that day, the gunfire escalated into a lethal fusillade that left many demonstrators dead or wounded.

In any event, La Fayette was judged severely by the public.

The number of victims of the Champ de Mars massacre vary dramatically. Contemporary sources state that there were several thousand victims while modern scholars estimate the number of dead between 50 and 100 and the number of wounded between 100 and 1000. It is however next to impossible to ever be able to determine these numbers correctly.

The immediate public and political reactions on and after the 17th varied widely but were generally devastating for La Fayette. I may make an extra post about the reactions because otherwise this post would get too long. As a last thought, I want to quote from the Memoirs of La Fayette’s youngest daughter, Virginie, how she remembered that day.

The Jacobins raised on the 17th of July a considerable outbreak. The brigands commenced by murdering two men. Martial law was proclaimed. It is difficult to form an idea of my mother's mortal anguish while my father was in the Champ de Mars exposed to the rage of an infuriated multitude which dispersed crying out that my mother must be put to death and her head carried to meet him. I remember the fearful cries we heard, I remember the alarm of every body in the house, and above all my mother's joy at the thoughts that the brigands who were coming to attack her were no longer surrounding my father in the Champ de Mars. While embracing us with tears of joy, she took every necessary precaution against the approaching danger with the greatest calmness and above all with the greatest relief of mind. The guard had been doubled, and was drawn up before the house, but the brigands were very near entering my mother's apartment by the garden looking upon the place du Palais-Bourbon, and were already climbing the low wall which protected us, when a body of cavalry passed on the place and dispersed them.

[josefavomjaaga]

Auguste of Bavaria, vice-queen of Italy, and her two daughters, usually referred to as “mes petits choux” or “mes deux anges” by their father, Eugénie (7 months, sitting on Mama’s arm) and Joséphine (3, clearly not interested in the geography of Hungary that her mother is trying to teach her). Painting by Andrea Appiani

***

During the Austrian campaign of 1809, Eugène for the first time was separated from wife and children for a longer period of time. Perfect husband that he was (in Auguste’s eyes at least), he wrote to her at every occasion. Some excerpts:

July 18:

Good morning, my dear Auguste. My first thought, as every day, is for you and my beautiful children. [...] I know that the emperor was kind enough to announce the armistice to you through one of his squires; I only learned of it thirty-six hours later, and during this time I was fighting on the March, so that the last cannon shots were for me.

July 19:

[…] Last night, Tuesday, I was thinking about our little games and regretting them very much. I hear that in Eisenstadt I will be very well off; they say there is a superb park with plenty of game; I will hunt every morning, work afterwards and think of my little family all day.

July 22:

Here I am back from my journey, my dear Auguste, and I hasten to give you my news, which is very good. [...] I saw Louis [Ludwig, Auguste's brother] this morning; he has improved a great deal since I last saw him; we lunched together at the Emperor's; I hope we shall see each other often during the few days I shall be here; you can well imagine who we talked about. You have been the constant subject of our talks, as you are always the subject of my thoughts. The news of Eugenie's two teeth has given me great pleasure, and everything leads us to believe that she will also be able to get all her teeth. [...] Farewell, my dearest Auguste, I hope that we will no longer be absent for as long as we have been. I kiss you and my two little sweeties and love you with all my heart. Your faithful husband and friend.

Of course, whenever a writer all of a sudden calls himself “your faithful husband”, I wonder why he feels the need to do that ... but that’s just me.

July 26

I am sending you Bataille with this letter, my good and dearest Auguste. Your name day is coming up, and I hope it will arrive just in time. I am sending you a trifle from Vienna, which I thought was pretty; I wish it to seem so to you. I will not make any new declarations of tenderness and attachment to you for the 3rd of August: these feelings are the same, and will be for all days and all times. I am sending toys to my little angels; I hope that Joséphine will pay you her little compliment and I am sorry I am not there to teach it to her. I see Louis every day; I am even having dinner with him today; this morning I gave him your letter and urged him to answer you by Bataille; he promised me to do so.

July 28

Louis leaves today to visit our last battlefields; he will also go to Austerlitz and Raab. I dined yesterday with Duroc and Bessières; it had been five years since we had been able to reunite this trio. We then wanted to walk in frock-coats on the rampart, but as soon as we arrived a great crowd followed us, because we were recognised; I had already been there the two days before and I had enjoyed the greatest incognito, […]

I guess having such a nondescript face does have its advantages. But as soon as you’re out with Bessières and his hairdo from the last century, no way people won’t recognize you.

August 2

[…] They say that the plenipotentiaries will meet tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, and we don't know any more than that, but what I do know is that I love you with all my heart.

August 3

Today, August 3rd, is your name day, my dearest Auguste, and I think with regret that I am not with you to talk to you about my feelings. How happy everything near you is at this moment! [...] I slept last night at Schœnbrunn, because the theatre play finished late, and this morning I went hunting with the Prince of Neufchatel. We returned for the parade and to lunch with the Emperor. I returned a few hours ago from Schœnbrunn, and I bathed, as it is very hot. Aubert has just told me that your foot is still hurting; why didn't you tell me about it? If you need Aubert, please let me know, I will send him to you immediately. Farewell, my dear Auguste, I like to think that in the midst of the pleasures of your name day, my regrets will have been thought of a little.

All quoted from A. DuCasse, “Memoires et correspondance ... du Prince Eugène”, Volume 6

***

As for the painting above, Auguste sent it to Eugène on his 28th birthday (September 3) which other than that apparently had gone pretty much unnoticed, even by himself. He writes to her the other day:

September 4

I thank you a thousand times, my dearest Auguste, I have seen Annoni yesterday. I came back here at eight o'clock in the evening tired from the heat of the day and the hours I had been out, not thinking at all that I was already twenty-eight, and as soon as I got down to my lodgings, Annoni was announced to me. You can't imagine how happy I was when he gave me your letter and your charming present; the idea is charming, the portraits are very similar, especially the one of Joséphine; in short, it's all admirable. I shall always carry this pretty picture with me everywhere, it will remind me, each time I look at it, of the happiness I enjoy with my little family. I am going to mount my horse shortly, the Emperor has asked me to pass some more reviews. I am sending Annoni to Vienna, where I shall be late this evening, and I shall keep him for a few days so that I can talk about you at my leisure.

Adieu, my good friend, I have no time to express to you how deeply touched I am by your attention, and how happy you make me. Farewell, my dear Auguste, you deserve and possess all the tenderness of your faithful husband and friend.

[awhitehead17]

His Tiny Person

TimKon, Soulmates AU, Canon Divergence, Mini Soulmates, Humour, that “oh” moment, Realisation of feelings, Getting together.

Summary: "Kryptonian's have something called soulmates and every single Kryptonian has one. We know who our soulmates are because mini versions of them manifest to us. To begin with you won't recognise them, or even know their name, until you actually meet them in person. You will meet, you are destined to, but whether you get along or not is another story."

When Kon finds a tiny person hanging around him he's extremely confused but comes to adore him anyway. However its still a complete shock when Kon learns that he's known his soulmate for years and has just never realised it.

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D  

No matter what anyone says, Kon believes that the freak out he has is very much warranted.

After getting out of the shower, Kon wrapped a towel around his waist before entering his bedroom and without any conscious thought he goes through his routine of getting ready for the day. The last thing he had expected to see was a tiny person perched on a pillow on his bed.

In all of his glory Kon let out a yell and scrambled backwards in surprise, his back quickly hits a wall which stops him from going anywhere. The tiny person on his bed openly stares at Kon and it feels like he’s being studied or even judged by him.

Kon stares back completely bewildered at the sight. There’s a tiny person on his bed. How did he get there? Who was he? Where did he come from? Is this some kind of prank?

“Conner, is everything alright?” Ma Kent’s voice could be heard calling him from downstairs. “We heard a yell.”

Still staring at the tiny person Kon tries to get himself together. He shuffles to his bedroom door, never taking his eyes off the person, and opens it. Over his shoulder he calls down to her. “Sorry Ma, I saw a spider. It caught me off guard that’s all. It’s all sorted now.”

“Okay dear if you’re sure. Breakfast is ready when you are.”

“Will be down in a bit, thank you.”

Kon quickly closes the door and debates on what to do. He takes a moment to observe the tiny person. The tiny person is a boy, he has messy black hair, two blue eyes, thin lips, a small body lean body covered by a red t-shirt and black sweatpants.

Kon has no idea what this is, however, weirdly enough he’s feeling a pull towards this tiny person. He can’t describe what it is but Kon feels kind of protective over him, like he wants to just wrap this tiny person up and hide him away from everything. The feeling is completely irrational because Kon knows absolutely nothing about what this could be.

The tiny person stands up and makes his way across Kon’s bed until he’s standing near the edge of it. Kon couldn’t help but find him adorable, he’s so small! He’s not much bigger than his hand in size comparison.

Kon approaches the bed carefully and crouches down so he's almost eye level with him. When they make eye contact the tiny person smiles brightly and Kon feels another pull inside of him, this time its sharp and releases a sense of warmth through him. His heart melts even more for this little thing.

“Hi, do you have name? Where did you come from?” Kon asks softly. The tiny person shakes his head and Kon frowns. “Oh okay. Well I’m Kon or Conner, its nice to meet you.”

“Conner your breakfast is getting cold!” Ma Kent’s voice comes from downstairs again and Kon knows he really should get going.

He turns back to the tiny person. Should he tell Ma Kent about this or not? How would the Kent’s react to this? Kon is still rather new to the whole family thing, he’s only recently moved in with them and is in fact still adjusting to life in Smallville, would this freak them out? Maybe he should work out what this person is doing here first before telling them anything.

With that in mind Kon sends him a small smile. “I’ve got to go have breakfast now, but once I’m done I can work out what to do with you.” He stands up and heads for the door but is stopped short when he hears a small thump.

Kon looks over to find the bed now void of the tiny person, initial panic rises up inside of him though it’s quickly diminished when he feels a tugging sensation on his jeans. Snapping his gaze down Kon finds the tiny person insistently tugging on his jeans with a panicked look on his face.

For unknown reasons, Kon’s heart breaks at the look. “Hey, I’m not leaving. I won’t be long, I promise.” The person shakes his head and without warning starts climbing up Kon’s leg, grabbing fists full of fabric to help him on his journey and he doesn’t stop climbing until he gets to the pocket and climbs inside.

Kon’s not entirely sure on what to do with the tiny person that’s now curled up inside his jeans pocket. Obviously he hadn’t wanted Kon to go, or perhaps it was more of a separation thing and had panicked when he thought Kon was leaving?

Running a hand through his hair Kon opts to leave it for the time being, he’ll work it out later on. As he once again moves towards the door, he hopes that the tiny person is comfortable enough in his pocket until he returns to his bedroom.

----

Throughout the next couple of weeks Kon learns a lot about the tiny person.

He comes to notice that he has his own personality, he has his own quirks and things he likes and dislikes. While he doesn’t speak, the tiny person makes sure his opinion is heard. He likes to train and work out and he’s wickedly smart. He also loves to be held in Kon’s palm and to have his hair stroked.

Through some misunderstandings, Kon comes to realise he actually needs to feed this tiny person, he also needs to regularly clean him, exhaustion and not sleeping enough is certainly a thing, injuries too. The first time this tiny person hurt himself Kon almost had a heart attack in concern and panic.

It’s literally like he’s looking after another human being, only this human is super tiny and can easily fit into his pocket.

Despite all of this he still hasn’t worked out how this tiny person came to be. Anything he’s looked into has come to a dead end, he’s even explored scientific possibilities but it’s all come up empty handed. He’s still completely perplexed on this person’s existence.

When an unfortunate event occurred, Kon became aware that he can’t be too far away from this tiny person either, only because the distance causes them both physical pain. That alone makes Kon believe there’s more to this whole thing, he doesn’t know what it could be but there’s definitely something.

Other than that Kon really adores him. He’s gotten used to his presence now and how he happens to be there in Kon’s everyday life. It frightens him to no ends when a mission comes up or if Kon engages in a brutal battle because he could get hurt. Nonetheless the tiny person is always there for him, its like he’s got his own cheerleader.

A few weeks after the tiny person appears, Kon is meeting with Clark on the farm to catch up. Since the man had finally accepted him as a person and has even named him as part of the family, Clark’s been trying to put effort into getting to know him. Kon appreciates the effort and knows that their relationship is slowly healing.

When Clark arrives they settle onto one of the benches outside with some food Ma Kent had baked and were generally catching up. However Kon’s focus on the man’s words instantly die when movement in his peripheral catches his attention.  

Kon glances down at the ground and freezes when he spots a small woman walking around within the grass looking completely at ease observing everything around her.

“Kon?”

Blinking Kon averts his attention away from the woman and back to Clark who is now frowning at him. How long had Kon not been listening for? Instead of saying anything Clark looks in the direction Kon had been and confusion crosses his face.

“What is it Kon?”

Kon waves a hand in the direction of the small woman. “Do you not see that? There’s a tiny person in the grass Clark!”

The man continues to stare at Kon like he's crazy. It makes Kon feel insecure. He wasn’t imaging this right? He’s got his own little dude hanging around him for weeks and now there’s a small woman too.

“Yeah… that’s Mini-Louis.” Clark says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Mini-Louis? As in your wife Louis?” Kon asks sceptically.

Clark pulls a face, clearly not understanding his confusion. “Yes Kon. My wife. She is my soulmate, therefore I have a Mini-Louis around me.”

Kon has no idea on what to say to that because what?

Realisation crosses Clark’s expression. He pulls back a bit, seeming surprised. “You don’t know about it?”

“About what Clark? What the hell are you on about?” Kon snaps.

Clark takes a deep breath and leans forward on the table using his elbows to prop himself up. “I’m sorry it must have completely slipped my mind. We as Kryptonian's have something called soulmates. Every single Kryptonian has one. We know who our soulmates are because mini versions of them manifest to us and these mini versions are attached to our souls. Once we finally meet our soulmate in person the bond between us is solidified.”

Kon blinks trying to digest that information. Soulmates. Soulmates are an actual thing and they appear in the form of tiny versions of themselves. Kon’s tiny person is in fact his soulmate. But he doesn’t know who his soulmate is, he doesn’t recognise him!

“Has your soulmate manifested Kon?” Clark questions after a long drawn out silence.

Instead of answering Kon carefully reaches into his jacket’s pocket and scoops up his tiny person. He’s been sleeping this entire time and Kon feels bad for moving and waking him up but he gently does so and places him on the table in front of him.

His tiny person looks disorientated for a moment. He sits down on the table, yawns and rubs his eyes with his fists as he wakes up. Once he notices where he is he looks alerted and sends Kon a panicked look. Kon reaches out a strokes a finger down his face. “It’s okay buddy, you’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. I’m finally learning about you properly.”

Kon glances up to find Clark watching him with warm eyes and a soft smile. Kon raises an eyebrow. “What? If you say this is my soulmate it would certainly explain why I’m protective over him. But why didn’t you tell me sooner? I don’t recognise this person, doesn’t soulmates work after you meet the one or something?”

“With Kryptonian’s, your mini-soulmate manifests when the younger one of the pair comes of age. Your situation is slightly different, thinking about it I could guess that your soulmate appeared once you were named as you were already of age.”

Kon nods to the explanation. He’s slowly understanding it. He’s still feels conflicted about it, like he’s afraid of the idea of it but he's also open to it…

“The idea is that you don’t recognise them, or even know their name, until you actually meet them in person. You will meet, you are destined to, but whether you get along or not is another story. You’re soulmates, but that bond can be either platonic, romantic, or even in some rare cases it’s a hatred bond. By the looks of it, yours is either a platonic or a romantic bond.”

Kon sighs, he guesses that’s better than it being a hatred soulmate bond. He thinks he gets on rather well with his little dude.

“As frustrating as this will sound, the main thing I can say is that only time will tell. When you meet your soulmate you’ll recognise them and then how your relationship with him progresses will depend on the two of you.”

After that they change topic of conversation, leaning more into Kryptonian heritage and ways of life as well as different battle strategies Kon could be using with his team. Meanwhile as they talk, Kon’s mini-soulmate joins Mini-Louis in exploring the wildlife together.

-----

It turns out Kon has already met his soulmate. In fact it turns out he’s best friends with his soulmate. He’s known him for a couple years.

It turns out his soulmate is Robin and he’s only finding that out now.

Young Justice, or rather the newly formed Titans, are gathered together and spending the weekend at the Tower. They were about to start their movie night when Robin tells them he has an announcement to make.

In line with their new team development he wants to clear the air and start fresh, hoping they would all forgive him for certain things in the past. Robin takes his mask off and gives them his real name.

As Kon meets Robin’s – Tim’s – eyes his heart stops. Without the mask obstructing the top half of Robin’s face, Kon clearly sees the same face that his mini-soulmate has.

Robin is his soulmate. How has he never made that connection before? The resemblance is uncanny, he’s literally been carrying around a Mini-Robin for 6 months.

He’s been on a team with Robin for a couple of years now. When he first escaped Cadmus, him, Bart and Robin made a trio team and over time the others had joined them, therefore creating Young Justice. A couple years later here they are joining the Titans and Robin is finally sharing his identity with them.

To begin with he and Robin never got on, they were always at each other’s throats and never saw eye to eye but as time went on they both mellowed out and come to accept the others presence. Their friendship became stronger as they both matured over time. Kon had moved to Smallville and began to really learn what life is about, how there’s a life outside of superheroing, while Robin had moulded the legacy he carries into his own and has found the confidence to become his own person rather than trying to be someone else.

Either way, he immediately recognises Robin’s – or Tim’s – face and not because apparently he’s famous but actually because Tim’s face is the one his mini-soulmate wears. There’s no mistaking it.

His mini-soulmate is currently hidden from view inside his jacket pocket but Kon could easily feel the excitement rolling off the tiny person, he’s practically buzzing with energy. Knowing he’s going to have to try and restrain his mini from doing anything rash, Kon brushes his telekinesis over him in attempts to calm him down.

At Tim’s announcement there’s a loud explosion from the group which lasts for some time until everyone calms down enough to settle so they can watch the films they have lined up. No matter what they put on, Kon couldn’t focus on any of them. His mind is too occupied with the thoughts of Robin being his soulmate and what that could mean.

He begins questioning his entire friendship with the bat vigilante. Reflecting on everything from the moment they met to now.

What kind of feelings does he actually have for his friend? He cares for him, they trust one another (the whole ID thing was a different matter despite how many arguments there have been on that topic) and Kon can’t imagine his life without Tim in it. Even back when he loathed him Kon wouldn’t have imagine Robin not being there.

They balance one another out. Where Kon is reckless and is hot headed, Robin thinks things through and plans accordingly. Where Robin is uptight and too hard on himself, Kon is freewheeling and helps him to relax and unwind.

When he’s with Tim he wants his friend to be happy, he wants him to feel safe and protected. When things get too much Kon reminds Robin he’s there to talk to if he needs it. When Kon’s felt overwhelmed by his powers Tim is the one he turns to because he helps Kon to understand them without making it feel like he’s being judged. There’s been numerous of nights where they’ve sat together in silent company, both of them wanting to be alone but not at the same time.

Kon thinks about his smile and his laugh when he’s genuinely happy and not wearing that stupid asshole persona. He think about how when he gets invested in something he would passionately defend it. How there’s a shy and genuine guy behind that mask despite all the confidence Robin plasters on in front of them all. He recalls when Robin would walk into a room and how Kon’s mood would improve significantly for no reason.

Well shit… there’s a lot more feelings towards Robin than he ever realised. Is this still platonic though or is it the start of something romantic? Can Kon even imagine what it would be like to be romantically involved with Tim? To hold his hand, to cuddle, to kiss and then maybe more, to be seen in public with him, to lean on one another without fear…

Kon’s heart misses a beat when he realises that yes he can imagine all that. Now he knows Tim’s name and knows what he really looks like, Kon can see himself doing those things with Tim and even getting to know him better than what’s slipped through his persona over the years.

Tim is his soulmate, they’re bound to each other in some way. Why hadn’t he ever seen it before?

What is Tim’s opinion on all of this? Kon’s mind suddenly goes into overdrive when it clicks that since Tim is his soulmate, he has a Mini-Tim with him at all times, then that means Tim would have a mini-him.

“on? Conner! Kon!”

A sharp stinging sensation gets his attention and Kon blinks, his thoughts finally residing for now. Kon looks around to find everyone in the room staring at him with concern and how Robin is standing in front of him with worry etched all over his face.

“Are you okay? You completely spaced out on us.”

Kon swallows thickly and sends Tim, and everyone else, a tight smile. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry just got lost in my thoughts.”

Tim doesn’t look convinced and now that his mask is no longer on Kon could clearly see his expressions. Despite only seeing Tim’s face for the first time moments ago, Kon can already read his facial expressions because they happen to be the exact same ones Mini-Tim wears.

Kon reaches out and pushes Tim away from him to create room so he can stand up. “Seriously I’m fine. It’s just been a long week that’s all. I’m actually going to head to bed, I’ll see you all in the morning.”

Without looking at anyone Kon flees the room, trying to get out of there as fast as possible. He doesn’t stop moving until he gets to his assigned room where he promptly barges in and slams the door shut behind him. Unable to stand still Kon begins pacing the length of the room, his mind back to working on overdrive.

Its only when something starts moving against him that he breaks out of the cycle. Kon stops in the middle of his room and gently scoops out his mini-soulmate. From the centre of his palm, Mini-Robin looks up at him and scowls. Kon winces in both guilt and embarrassment.

He places his min-soulmate onto his dresser and instantly Mini-Tim turns his back on Kon and crosses his arms over his chest. Kon frowns feeling terrible, he didn’t mean to make him upset or angry. He can’t help that he's a little incompetent when it comes to these sort of things.

Kon goes back to his pacing, now talking to his mini as he does so. “I’m sorry okay. I didn’t realise, all of this time and you’ve actually been in front of me. How many missions have we been on, how many rooms have we been in together, how many hours have we spent in close proximity of one another? After all of that its only now I’m figuring it out!”

He glances over to find that Mini-Tim is still ignoring him. Kon huffs. “Well it’s not like it’s entirely my fault! Robin is as much as to blame as I am. At least I have an excuse, I didn’t know it was him because he had half of his face covered all the time. What about him? He’s probably had a mini-me this whole time and has never approached me about the topic, it’s not like I’ve gone incognito.”

When he stops talking the silence in the room stretches out. Even though its only Kon and his mini-soulmate Kon could easily feel the tension between them. He doesn’t like feeling like this, especially with his little counterpart.

Sighing heavily, Kon shuffles over to the dresser where Mini-Tim is still standing and leans in closely. “Please don’t be annoyed. It’s a shitty situation and my emotions are everywhere. The last thing I need is for you to be annoyed at me too…”

When Mini-Tim continues to ignore him Kon frowns and carefully reaches out to him with his TTK. He gently prods his mini-soulmate, trying to encourage him to loosen up and even look at him again.

Eventually his insistence must work because Mini-Tim turns around and stares up at him with wide-eyes and a pout on his face. Kon pulls back his power and reaches out to brush a finger along his tiny cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Kon whispers softly, “I’ll sort things out, I promise but it may take some time.” The wide-eyes and pout soon turns into a glare without heat and a pointed look. Kon understands his message though. “I will talk to him, soon okay. Just not yet, I need to get my thoughts in order first.”

A knock on his bedroom door breaks his attention away from his mini-soulmate. Kon sighs and is reluctant to open the door, fearing what’s on the other side of it. When a second knock happens, Kon forces himself to walk over to the door and pull it open.

As feared, Tim stands there in the corridor looking worried and lost in thought. He notices that Kon has opened the door and snaps back to attention. “Uh hey.”

“Hey.”

“Can we talk?” Tim asks sounding unsure.

Kon sends him a tight smile. “Yeah.”

Tim enters his bedroom and Kon closes the door behind him. There's a pause between them before Tim turns around to face him wearing contemplative expression. “Your behaviour isn’t about my name and face is it?”

It sounds like he already knows the answer to that but Kon humours him by answering anyway. “No. No it isn’t, well, not the main part of it at least.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. How was he supposed to talk to Robin that he's his soulmate? How was he going to explain that for the last 6 months he’s been carrying around a tiny version of him but didn’t know because he never made the connection until today?

In the end he shakes his head, he’s probably way over thinking this too much. Maybe he shouldn’t use words, perhaps using actions is the way to go?

Kon moves around the room and goes back over to the dresser, when he leans in close he finds Mini-Tim hiding away behind a deodorant spray. He lifts his hand with his palm facing upwards and waits to see if his mini takes the invitation. Mini-Tim stares at him suspiciously for a moment before coming out of his hiding spot and climbing onto his hand.

Kon carefully turns around and shows Tim his mini for the first time. Surprisingly yet unsurprisingly, Tim doesn’t look shocked. His eyes widen but that’s the only reaction Kon gets. Tim wordlessly reaches down into his jacket pocket and brings something out of it, Kon could only gasp when he sees a mini version of himself on Tim’s palm.

Before he or Tim could react their mini-soulmates both make an excited sound. Mini-Kon jumps up from Tim’s palm and flies straight for Mini-Tim. In return Mini-Tim jumps up with his hands stretched out and grasps onto Mini-Kon when they collide together. Mini-Kon carries them around for a moment before they land on the bed and separate. They use their little arms and legs to wildly gesture to one another about something lost to both Kon and Tim. It’s rather adorable to watch.

“I think that answers a few questions does it not?” Tim says amusedly watching the minis with a smile.

Kon huffs. “Some of them yeah. Look dude there’s a lot to explain about this, I get you must be super confused about how a tiny version of myself just suddenly appeared one day and I understand that -”

“I’m going to stop you there Kon.” Tim says firmly raising a hand up in a stopping motion, he’s now looking at him. “I know a lot more than what you think I do. I know what this is and what it could mean. If anything I’m the one that should explain some things to you, like why didn’t I tell you sooner for example.”

Feeling rather overwhelmed Kon shakes his head and moves to sit down in his desk chair.

Tim takes it as an opportunity to keep talking. “We’ve always had a strange relationship Kon. From the moment we met until now it’s been odd, but quite frankly there’s not a thing I would change. I know those minis represent that we’re soulmates. I have to admit I was rather confused when you appeared tiny in my bathroom 6 months ago, to begin with I thought you had shrunk or something but there was something telling me there was more to it than that.

I got my answer about a month later when I ran into Louis, she had been at the Manor talking to Bruce when I saw she had a tiny Clark riding on her shoulder. After a conversation she explained that her and Clark were soulmates, it’s all to do with because he’s a Kryptonian. Of course then it made more sense.

The reason why I never approached you about it is because I didn’t know what to do. I knew it was you, it’s kind of hard not to tell y’know,” Tim sends him a knowing smirk at that comment, “but since you never said anything about it I figured you didn’t know it was me. It’s only then that it clicked that I still hadn’t revealed my face or even shared my name with you.

It wasn’t my choice not to tell you, you know that, it had been Batman’s orders. For months I debated on what to do, even going as far as arguing with Batman to share my ID at least with you. In the end Batman gave in but only after I explained why I was so insistent about it. And well, here we are.”

Tim trails off into silence and he’s looking expectantly at Kon, waiting for him to respond to his side of the story. Kon could only blink at him and repeat his story in his mind. The minis are currently sat together side by side on the edge of the bed’s footboard, they were holding hands and swinging their legs together as they share a smile.

As much as Kon would like to be frustrated at Tim for what he did, he knows he really couldn’t be. Its not his fault that Batman put him in an awkward position. Kon rationalises in his mind that’s its all done and over with now, he can’t change it but from here they can at least go forward.

He glances up at Tim. “So what do we do from here? How would you like to go forward? Also I’m sorry that I put you in this position. It was as much as a shock to me as it probably was to you.”

Tim glares at him. “Don’t apologise Kon. It’s not like you had a choice in the matter and you know what, I’m glad its you.”

That gets Kon’s attention. He stares at his best friend wondering if he heard right. “What?”

The sigh Tim lets out sounds almost resigned. “Why would I be bothered by it? You’re my best friend Kon, of course I don’t mind being soulmates with you. I know we’ve had one heck of a bumpy road in the past but we’re here now aren’t we.”

Kon grins, unable to deny what Tim had just said. He looks back up, taking in how Tim’s eyes are focused on him, how they seem to shine when the light hits them, he takes in Tim’s relaxed posture and how at ease he appears to be.

A sudden urge washes over Kon and all he wants to do is crush Tim in a hug and kiss him. He has no idea when he started thinking about Tim in that way but he finds that he doesn’t actually mind. It’s just the case of whether Tim returns them or not.

Kon stands up and steps towards Tim, standing so close to him that he could feel the others heat. “So how do you want to go forward with this? When Clark told me about soulmates, he said there are platonic, romantic and hating bonds. Is there a certain type you want to be?”

Kon wants to smack himself in the face for how bad that sounds. What the fuck is he on about. Thankfully Tim seems more amused than anything else. A glance to the side shows both minis exaggerating an eye roll each, Kon opts to ignore them.

Tim steps closer, finally pushing their chests together, he has to tilt his head up while Kon looks down to make eye contact with one another. “I don’t know… I mean to be honest if I had to say one surely it would be the hatred bond? I can’t stand you, you know? You get on my nerves too much.”

Kon snorts and shakes his head. “Maybe once upon a time. Anyway you’re just as bad, you and that neurotic brain of yours.”

They both grin at that, shaking their heads at the ridiculous turn in the conversation. Opposite him Tim opens his mouth again but this time Kon decides to cut to the chase. He ducks his head and presses his lips against Tim’s. There’s a pause on Tim’s side but after a second he’s responding to Kon and pushing back against his lips.

Some sort of spark passes between them and suddenly it’s like something inside of him has clicked into place and now he feels complete.

He presses against Tim even more and wraps his arms around him, keeping them pressed closely together. Tim goes with the movement, reaching up to wrap his arms around Kon’s neck and even buries a hand in his hair.

When they part the two of them are sharing wide smiles. Kon huffs out a laugh and rests his forehead against Tim’s.

The only thing that pulls Kon away from Tim is a light slapping against his neck. He pulls back and looks to the side to find Mini-Tim now standing on his shoulder trying to get his attention. Opposite him, Mini-Kon is floating next to Tim’s cheek also getting his attention.

Tim and Kon take a step away from each other to look at their minis. Mini-Tim is grinning wildly and Kon could just feel the excitement and warmth radiating off from him. Kon smiles back softly and reaches up to stroke a finger along Mini-Tim’s cheek, even poking his stomach for fun. It’s a pleasant contrast compared to what he was like a little while ago.

Kon turns back to Tim. “So, um, now that a few things are out the way, can I ask you out on a date? Lets give this a try?”

Tim gently nudges Mini-Kon away to stop him from prodding his cheek, he looks at Kon and nods. “Just text me the time and place and we’ll be there.”

It takes a moment but Kon quickly catches on that he means him and Mini-Kon. Of course, duh, if they’re going to be dating then by extension so are the mini versions of themselves. It probably should be weird but Kon finds that he doesn’t mind, in fact its cute and the fact that Tim doesn’t seem to mind either makes it better. He’s looking forward to the near future and what it could bring for him and Tim and their mini-soulmates.

[pitubea1910]

10th Anniversary

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Words: 4k

Warnings: -

Tags: -

Request: -

Notes: I was supposed to post this for their 10th Anniversary but I totally forgot about it and just found it on my drafts! So I hope you like it :)

MASTERLIST

The moment you woke up you knew what day it was without even looking at the calendar.

July 23rd 2020.

10 years. It had been a whole decade since all the craziness started. Looking back now, you would have never imagined everything you all had gone through in that time, how much you had grown up -together and separated-, how much your lives had changed.

You were a 15 years-old-girl when you met them thanks to your aunt Lou. When you first laid eyes on them, you just saw five loud and unstoppable guys. You would have never imagined that you would find four brothers and something else in them.

However, there you were, 10 years later, checking your Twitter timeline with a stupid grin on your face. It looked like 2012 all over again and you loved it. You missed those times like crazy. Of course, you knew the hiatus was coming the moment Zayn left the band -and they had earned every single day of it-, but that didn’t change how much you missed them all.

Even though you had kept in touch with the five of them it wasn’t the same. They were all busy with their own solo projects and they barely had the time to meet up. You couldn’t blame them, but you still missed them. Especially the green-eyed one.

Harry and you immediately clicked when you met. It turned out you had a lot in common and similar personalities. You had a tight relation with the whole group, but what you and Harry had was special. Probably it helped that you were the same age. But the truth was that it didn’t matter the reason, you were always together.

Everyone who saw you together and knew how your relationship was just kept on saying that you two would end up together. It turned out they weren’t completely wrong, although it never worked out the way you would have wanted. You were a couple for less than a year. It was the best year of your life and the worst break-up you ever had.

You loved him and he loved you, there was no doubt of that, but it was too complicated to keep it going. As much as you loved touring the world with them, spending every single day with Harry, you also needed a life of your own, you wanted to go to college and doing it from afar didn’t work for you. It was the hardest decision you ever made, but everyone understood and supported you. Harry the most.

It broke his heart as well, but he knew he couldn’t ask you to keep with his lifestyle. He had to let you go. You gave distance a chance, but with their schedules and the time zones it soon became impossible. You remembered the last FaceTime you had, how heartbroken you both were. But it was for the best.

You never lost contact though. Every single time he would come to London he called you to spend a day together. Those days ended up being the best days of the year and they usually ended with you two going back to his place and spending the night together. And every morning your heart broke knowing you had to say goodbye again. But you kept on coming back to him every time his name showed up on your screen.

Usually he was the one who reached out, which made sense since he was the one who was travelling all the time. That morning, that July 23rd, was different. You texted first for the first time in a long time.

Happy 10 years, Styles. Wish we could celebrate together. Love you.

You gulped before sending the text. He was probably in the States and he wouldn’t see it for another few hours, so after sending some other texts to Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn, you got out of bed and headed to the shower. Usually, you would have to hurry to get to your internship, but with the pandemic you still didn’t have to go, so you had another day completely off.

However, before you got into the shower, you heard your ringtone. You frowned confused. It was way too early for your mum to be calling, so you had no clue who could it be. Maybe it was your boss, giving you an update on the status of your internship. With a sigh, you turned on the water and went back to the room, hoping it would be a quick call so you could go back to your shower.

You took the phone without even looking at the phone and answered it.

“Hello?” You said as you started walking back to the bathroom.

“Happy ten years to you too, love”, a deep known voice said on the other side, making you stop on your tracks as your heart started racing.

Quickly, you checked the caller and saw Harry’s name. He was probably the last person you expected to talk to that day.

“Thanks”, you finally managed to say when you put your phone against your ear.

“I’m guessing you didn’t expect my call?” He said. Judging by his tone, you knew he was smirking, which made you smile.

“You guessed correctly”, you admitted. “How are you awake?”

“I was out for an early run”, he said, making you frown.

“Wait, are you in England?”

“In London to be more accurate”, he said.

“R-really?” You stuttered.

“So maybe we can also make the celebration happen”, he said.

“Really?” You repeated. “I mean, yes! That would be great!”

You smacked yourself on the forehead for being such a nerd. He chuckled quietly before saying he had to make some calls during the morning, but he could pick you up at noon to have some lunch. You said yes immediately. Most of the restaurants were still closed, but he was Harry Styles. He always had a trick up his sleeve, and you couldn’t see what he would pull off that day.

Since you woke up way too early, the morning went off slowly. Or maybe it was just you being impatient. However, you finally got a text from Harry saying he was parked outside of your building. You grabbed your purse with the basic stuff -wallet, keys and phone- and a mask. Once you were sure you had locked the door properly, you went to the elevator.

Usually, he would wait for you in his car in case some recognised him. So it shocked you to see him casually leaning against the vehicle when you walked out of the building. When he heard you, he looked up from his phone. You couldn’t see his whole face due to the mask he was wearing, but his eyes told you he was smiling.

Despite all the precautions and distancing you were supposed to take, you knew it wouldn’t work with him. He was like a magnet and all you wanted to do was hug him and have him hugging you.

“Can I hug you?” He asked.

The fact that he was thinking the same as you made you laugh. All you did was hugging him tightly. He could always hug you, no matter what. He was the exception to every rule.

“I missed you”, you said with your eyes closed, which made him squeeze you a bit tighter.

“Me too”, he whispered.

You spent a couple of minutes just holding each other before he pulled away and opened the passenger door for you. You thanked him with a smile and got into the car and buckled up while he walked around the vehicle to get in before taking off the mask. You did the same and looked at him, the whole him this time.

“I love your hair short”, you said.

Harry looked at you with a dimpled smile and ran a hand through his hair -an old habit he didn’t seem to be able to shake but you loved- before turning on the engine.

“How long has it been?” He asked once he started driving.

“Christmas, I think”, you said after thinking about it for a moment. “Hans’ Christmas party before you went back to the States.”

“Right”, he said and looked at you, making you blush and smile at the memories of that night. “How have you been?”

“Locked”, you chuckled making him chuckle as well. “But good, I finished my thesis, watched a lot of movies and TV shows and baked. A lot.”

“You’ve always been good at baking”, he said.

“And you’ve always been good at eating”, you teased, making him laugh. “What about you?”

“I got stuck in the States until a few days ago”, he shrugged. “Didn’t do much either.”

“Sorry about your tour, by the way”, you said when you remembered. “I was excited.”

“Me too”, he sighed. “But some stuff are more important.”

You smiled a little and nodded to yourself. This pandemic had been, and was been, a wreck all around the world. As usual, you reached out to turn on the radio, which made Harry smile to himself. Ever since the first time you had got into his car, all those years ago, you would always start the music, no matter what. At first, he was surprised you took such confidences in someone else’s car, but he soon loved that detail about you.

“How is it going with your internship?” He asked when the song that was playing on the radio ended.

“I’m on furlough”, you shrugged and sighed. “I got an email last week saying some people would start coming back to work soon. But I don’t think that includes interns.”

“I wouldn’t be in a hurry if I were you”, he commented as he checked the mirrors. “You don’t have a car to go to the office and I wouldn’t be too excited about getting into the tube.”

“I could always get a bike”, as soon you said that you both started laughing. You were the less sportive person you had even known. “Yeah, that was a good one.”

“Indeed”, he chuckled.

“I’m not in a hurry to go back”, you shrugged. “But it’s boring.”

“I know”, he sighed and looked at you for a moment. “But at least now we have time to hang out.”

“Like old times”, you smiled. Harry smiled softly and nodded.

“Like old times.”

“Where are we going by the way? Most restaurants are still closed”, you said.

You had been so focused on talking to Harry and watching him drive that you hadn’t been paying attention to the streets, so you had no idea where you were going.

“My place”, he said, surprising you. “My new place, actually.”

“You have a new place?” You asked even more surprised.

“Yeah. Too many people knew about the house in Hampstead. It was annoying”, he sighed. “Hopefully, no one will find out about this one.”

“But you loved Hampstead!”, you pouted. You loved that house too, to be honest.

“I didn’t sell it”, he shrugged with a smile. “I just don’t use it as official residency.”

“Good”, you smiled now. “So… your place.”

“You’re okay with that?” He asked a bit concerned.

“Oh yes! I just assumed we would to some restaurant”, you shrugged.

“I thought about it”, he nodded. “But even if they’re open, I feel bad for the people who have to work in them, so I guess it makes their lives less anxious with less customers.”

“Always so thoughtful”, you commented.

“Can’t help myself”, he said, his cheeks blushing a little.

You smiled sweetly and looked out of the window, now curious to see where he had moved to. Judging by the zone, you were in the south of London, although you couldn’t figure out exactly where.

Finally, he drove into a subterranean parking in a big brick building. The parking didn’t have many cars, which led you to believe that he didn’t have many neighbours. Harry parked at the very end of the place and, once he turned off the engine, you unbuckled yourself and got out of the car.

“Quite big for a few cars”, you commented looking around.

“I know”, he laughed after locking his car. “It’s a new building. Probably is four years old, so not many people live here yet. And those who do, have more than one car so…”

“You have more than one spot?” You asked.

“Those three are also mine”, he said pointing.

You smiled when you saw the familiar black Range Rover in which you had been so many times over the years. The other two spots were empty, but you knew he had the cars to fill them.

Without saying anything, he started walking to an elevator you hadn’t seen at first sight. You followed him while you checked your phone before throwing it into your bag for the rest of the day. When you got into the elevator, you looked around at how new it looked.

“How long have you been living here?” You asked, leaning against the wall of the elevator.

“A couple of years”, he shrugged and you nodded. “I was the second one to move in.”

“Really?” He nodded. “Nice”, you chuckled.

It didn’t surprise you when the elevator opened at the last floor. He had always liked high places and he had always said that he would love to live in a penthouse someday. It looked like he had fulfilled another one of his fantasies. As you stepped out, you saw that there were only two doors. Private.

“I’m the only one in this floor”, he commented. “These two places are the most expensive so”, he shrugged.

“More silence for you. Imagine a family with three children living across the hall”, you said.

“You would go crazy”, he laughed.

“Definitely”, you smiled a little.

It wasn’t like you didn’t like kids. You did. But when there were many of them, you got a bit nervous, especially if they were loud.

Harry took out a keychain and put it in front of where a locker should have been. It beeped and he pushed the door open. He looked back with a cocky grin.

“Snob”, you mumbled when he let you walk in first.

“Hey!” He laughed.

He took your bag and hung it next to the door while you looked around in awe. It was an open-space living room and kitchen, surrounded by huge windows from where you could see Vauxhall Bridge and the other side of the Thames. It was all decorated in cold colours, but it wasn’t a cold environment. He had managed to give his personal and warm touch.

“What do you think?” He asked standing behind you, a bit more closer than what you expected.

“Much better than Hampstead”, you admitted.

“You think so?”

“There’s no way teenage girls will camp just outside your door”, you shrugged.

“Good point”, he laughed. “Come, I’ll show you the balcony.”

“I’m not a big fan of heights”, you reminded him while he was dragging you by your hand.

“I won’t let you go”, he said.

Saying no to him was an impossible task. There was nothing you could deny to him, not when he gave you that dimpled smile that you loved so much.

To be honest, the views were breath-taking, it couldn’t be denied, but you didn’t go too close to the edge just in case and Harry didn’t push you. All he did was hold your hand tightly.

“I have to confess something”, he said after a while.

“What is it?” You asked quietly.

“I haven’t cooked anything. I was praying you were craving pizza”, he said, making you laugh out loud.

“I’m always craving pizza, you idiot”, you said giving him hand a gentle squeeze before going back inside.

He followed you inside but left the door open. While he ordered the pizza, you walked around the living room, checking out the photos he had framed and also the vinyl collection he had. You smiled a little when you saw that he had all One Direction CDs there as well, as vinyl.

When you started looking at the photos, the first one that caught your eye was one of the two of you, so many years ago, in the tour bus. You took it from the chest it was on. You smiled warmly as you remembered all those long hours stuck into the bus. Somehow, they all managed to make it fun.

In the photo, you and Harry were laying down on one of the sofas, sleeping while facing each other. You were cuddled up against him while he had one hand on your waist, hugging you, and the other one stretched over your head. You remembered having that photo as your lockscreen for so long.

“I think that’s my favourite.”

You hadn’t expected Harry to be just behind you. You hadn’t even heard him coming close to you, so you gasped and almost dropped the photo, but he was quick enough to catch it.

“So I would appreciate if you didn’t break it”, he chuckled.

“Sorry, you scared me”, you said.

“Sorry”, he said too and looked down at the photo before putting it back on top of the chest. “We really had fun that tour, didn’t we?”

“Wasn’t it the one when we started dating?” You asked. He nodded and turned around to walk to couch. “It really was fun.”

“Are you seeing anyone?” He asked all of sudden.

You chuckled and looked down before shaking your head. It was a question that always came up between you two. If the answer was positive it changed the whole mood of the time you spent together. It wasn’t like you didn’t want each other to date other people, but it still hurt to see it.

“Are you?” You asked.

“No”, he said and looked at you before smiling a little.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that”, he said and looked down at his hands. He started playing with his rings, which he used to do whenever he got nervous.

“About what?”

“Us.”

“Oh…”, you gulped and looked down as well.

You always feared when he brough that up. Usually it was because he was seeing someone, so you guessed this time wouldn’t be different, even though he had just said he wasn’t seeing anyone. You bite your lip and nodded.

“Okay”, you whispered.

“I was going to wait until after we ate but since it came up”, he shrugged.

“You brought it up”, you quickly said.

“Good point”, he chuckled.

“Anyway”, you looked at him. “What is it? What’s her name?”

“Her name?” He asked confused. “I’m… I’m not seeing anyone. I told you.”

“Really?” You frowned, even more confused than him. “I just- Every time you want to talk about us, it is because you’re seeing someone.”

“Oh… I hadn’t thought about it, to be honest”, he said thinking about it before laughing a little. “It’s not the case now”, he shrugged.

“What is it?” You asked now curious but also fearful. What if he said he didn’t have feelings for you anymore?

“You know how we have always said that we can’t be together because of how messy my life is, right?” He asked and you nodded, having no clue where he was going with this. “Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and you were right about it back then. When I was in the band. Now it’s different.”

“How? You still have the same job”, you shrugged. “And I don’t want you to have a different one”, you quickly added.

“Yes, but I’m not touring all year long”, he explained. “Now I can take my time. It’s been two years since I dropped my first solo album and only last year, I dropped Fine Line. Yes, when I’m on tour I spend a lot of time on it, but I also have a lot of time between one and the next. Especially now that it’s been postponed.”

“Harry”, you interrupted him. “Go to the point”, you chuckled.

“Yes, sorry”, he smiled a little. “I want to give it, us, another chance.”

Your mind went completely blank as he said the words. You had no idea how many times you had dreamed about this and, now that it was right in front of you, you didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, you felt scared, confused, lost. You loved him? Of course you did. Was this a good idea? You got no idea. You only knew that the first time almost broke you and you didn’t know if you were ready to go through that again.

Although it could work out this time, a tiny voice inside your head said.

What if it didn’t? What if you just didn’t work as a couple?

Luckily for you, just then the bell rang.

“Pizza!” You exclaimed and got up, relieved to have some time off from that conversation.

Harry looked at you as you ran to the door, obviously running away from him at the moment. He had no idea what to think of that. Did that mean you didn’t feel the same way anymore? You only saw him as a friend? Or maybe it was just that you didn’t see it coming and felt a bit overwhelmed? He wanted to believe it was the latest, but his mind kept on going to the worst-case scenario.

Anyway, the food was there and he figured that giving you time to take his words in wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Harry had already paid for the pizzas when he ordered them, so all you had to do was take them. Once you closed the door by pushing it with your foot, you went to the isle that separated the kitchen from the living room and put them on top of it.

“This smell amazing”, you said while Harry was walking around the kitchen gathering the dishes, glasses and napkins.

“I’m drooling just by the smell”, he agreed. “Do you want to eat here, in the living room or out there?”

“It’s a bit chilly out there”, you said. “Maybe the living room and we can watch something on Netflix?”

“Sounds good”, he nodded.

Silently, you two moved everything to the living room and set the table up. When it was all ready, Harry turned on the TV and logged into his Netflix account before he started looking for something to watch while you poured water into the glasses.

“What about Harry Potter and The Priosioner of Azkaban?” He suggested.

“You know me”, you smiled widely.

It was your favourite Harry Potter movie, so there was no way you would say no to it. Harry smiled warmly and nodded to himself.

“I do”, he sighed before pressing play on the remote.

***

“I’m surprised you watched the whole movie”, you said two hours later when the movie was over.

“Why?” Harry asked.

He stood up and started taking everything back to the kitchen.

“Well”, you got up too and took the glasses. “You always fall asleep during the movies I choose.”

“Technically, I chose this one, so it would’ve been rude to fall asleep”, he said while you handed him the glasses so he would put them into the dishwasher.

“It’s rude anyway but whatever helps you sleep at night”, you said with a smile.

“Are you saying I’m rude?” He asked with his eyes narrowed after he closed the dishwasher.

“Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Styles… I know the whole truth about you”, you said, crossing your arms.

“And what is that?” He asked, mirroring your position.

“That you can be rude sometimes”, you shrugged.

“Falling asleep during a movie is not rude. It is… tiredness”, he said, making you laugh.

“And you always have a reply for everything”, you said.

“I like to be prepared”, he shrugged.

“Like I said…”, you laughed and leaned against the counter.

Harry laughed out loud and shook his head before excusing himself to go to the bathroom. You stayed there in the kitchen, thinking again about what Harry had said just before the pizza arrived. You had barely paid attention to the movie thanks to that.

You had no idea where that proposition came from. It had been years since you two had had any conversation about your relationship and you had no idea what you wanted. Yes, you loved him. Yes, you wanted to be with him. But you feared that this was just about him feeling nostalgic. You remembered vividly the great couple you two were, but you didn’t know if you could go through that kind of heartbreak again.

“You know what I’ve been trying to get better at during lockdown?”

You jumped a little since you hadn’t heard him coming back from the bathroom.

“Surprise me”, you said, still lost in thought.

“Football”, he said. You looked at him with an eyebrow raised, trying not to laugh.

“Really?” You asked. “How did that turn out exactly?”

“Awful”, he admitted, making you laugh.

“I figured”, you nodded and sighed, looking down at your hands.

You felt him coming closer until he was standing right in front of you. Yet, you didn’t dare to look up.

“You okay?” He finally asked.

“Where did that come from?” You blurted out. When he didn’t answer, you looked up. He was frowning and the look in his eyes told you that he was measuring his words. “About us.”

“From… what I feel for you”, he said like it was obvious. “What I’ve always felt for you.”

“Right”, you sighed.

“Don’t you feel the same anymore?” He asked worried.

“I don’t think there’s a world, a universe, where I don’t feel that way about you”, you sighed.

“What’s the problem, then?”

“Why now? How do I know that this, you wanting more again, is not something that will just go away?” You asked.

“I’ve always wanted more from us, (Y/N). The only reason we broke up was because we couldn’t make it work with our lives. We can now”, he said. Hesitantly, he took a step towards you and held your hands. “I’ve loved you since we were 18. I can promise you it isn’t going anywhere. Ever. And neither am I.”

“It…”, you sighed. “It just hurt so much when we broke up, Harry. I don’t think I can go through that again.”

“You won’t.”

“You can’t promise that”, you chuckled.

“I could”, he shrugged. “Because that’s a promise I plan on keeping.”

You looked down at your united hands and sighed. His hands had always been so big, way bigger than yours, which had always made you feel safe in a strange way. You bit your lip, not knowing what to do. You knew what you wanted, but you didn’t know if you were brave enough to do it.

“I love you”, you whispered.

“And I love you too”, he said back, rubbing your hands. “You’re my endgame.”

“Don’t use The Avengers against me”, you said, making him laugh. With a sigh, you looked up and it surprised you to find his green eyes so close to yours. “You can’t look at me with those eyes and expect me to give you a reasoned answer.”

“I don’t want you to follow reason”, he shrugged. “I want you to say what you really want.”

“You”, you said without hesitation. “Always. Every day.”

Harry smiled warmly and put some hair out of your face gently, before cupping your face.

Your heart was beating so fast and it felt so loud, that it surprised you that he couldn’t listen to it. You didn’t know what the right thing to do was, but you knew that reasoning about this wouldn’t get you anywhere. You knew you loved him, you knew you wanted to be with him. Maybe he was right. Maybe you could make it work this time. They said that third time was the charm, but maybe the second could be your charm.

“Is it a yes?” He asked, now looking at your lips.

“Yes”, you finally nodded.

His smile grew even bigger now before pulling you towards him and pressing his lips against yours. Just like every single time, you felt fireworks in your stomach. Ever since the first time you kissed him, you felt you could spend your whole time kissing him and would never get tired of it.

Maybe this time, you could do it forever.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hey you've probably touched on this in the past but I'm new here, so if it's okay and you feel like it would you mind explaining how do you think it could be possible for Louis to be forced to pretend he is a father of a child (that we actually know and can recognise, not just as a rumor or something like that) as a pr strategy? I'm not trying to say it's impossible, I genuinely have no idea how the pr world works and this just sounds pretty extreme and weird, especially involving a minor and all.

I've personally always thought Louis was probably high/drunk (or maybe not, just seems more plausible to me idk and we know he wasn't in the best place at the time) and had a one night stand with this girl he was meant to be seen with for publicity, she got pregnant but he didn't want to do anything about it or like be involved but once word "got out" to the management (umbrella term i use to mean whoever it is that's handling this sorts of things, maybe pr team? idk) they decided to exploit it and make use of it as a strategy to cover up something else or put him in his place (assuming he had said/done something to irritate them or smth) or even just to bring attention to him/the band no matter what kind of attention they would be getting (although i have to say for a boy band targeted mostly towards teen or even pre-teens the image of the party boy getting high and getting random girls pregnant doesn't sound like something they would want to purposefully go after, but once again, I'm not from expert)

and at that point Briana wanted her slice of the cake and the money and the attention, so he got stuck with all this, but since the kid was born he has tried to be part of his life, if intermittently (also, we don't Really know how frequently he actually goes to LA, and we don't have any idea about any phone/video calls, so like they could be in contact every day or once a year yk)

I do realise this sound a bit headcanony but tbh so have all the other theories I've seen going around... I also realise it's pointless to lose much brain power over this kinda questions we probably won't ever have answers for lol but I still like to share opinions and im curious to see what others think!

You in particular, just cause i always find your takes super interesting and I tend to agree to what you have to say on most stuff, so yeah I'd be curious to know what you think!

Have a nice day x (and sorry for the super long message, I totally get it if you don't have time to go through this or to answer)

Don't apologise anon - I love long messages. I'm going to take this in two parts.

First of all there's nothing wrong with believing that Louis is the father and if that makes most sense to you go forth with it. I agree with your point that there's lots we don't know about the current situation and it could work for everyone involved. But I'll explain why the specific story you're telling doesn't explain anything to me.

You say we know that Louis wasn't in a particularly good place at the time - I'm not sure we do. I mean he'd been doing very intense work for a very long time and I'm sure there were costs, but I don't think there's any particular reason to think that April/May 2015 were bad for Louis.

As I've emphasised before there is hardly any time for any of what you describe to have happened. It might be an explanation if the pregnancy had been announced months later. But Louis wouldn't know how he felt about getting someone pregnant less than two weeks after he'd had it confirmed that he was the father. To suggest that he could possibly have settled in 'don't want anything to do with it' misses that dealing with an unplanned pregnancy is a process that you expect to take time.

I think you're explanation also seems to put causation in the wrong place. If Louis' the father he's in this situation because he's the father. Not because of anything Briana or his team did. If Louis' a father, the core of that hasn't been changed by anything we've seen.

But also I don't think this answers any questions. It's basically the classic undermotivated villain problem. 1DHQ went public in a very short time frame because reasons. It won't help them make money, it won't make their work easier, but they're not just doing it, but turning on a dime to do it. It's not impossible, but there has to be a much more deeply weird explanation than Louis irritated someone.

************

At the beginning you asked this: How do you think it could be possible for Louis to be forced to pretend he is a father of a child (that we actually know and can recognise, not just as a rumor or something like that) as a pr strategy?

And I'll try to answer it, but that's not really what I believe.

I believe that the most insightful comment about the situation came from Karl Marx when he said: "Louis Tomlinson makes his own history, but he doesn't make in circumstances of his own choosing".

If I think of the worst situations people I know have got into with work and imagine some outsider said 'well were they forced to do [thing that was really damaging/they really hated]' - the answer would be 'it's more complicated than that'. Work is iterative - and situations develop over time and there are lots of forces operating on people.

There are still huge questions, but I find it useful to think about things as a series of decisions, not something that was fully formed. Working backwards, it seems reasonably clear to me that from April 2016 absolutely no force from anyone would be needed to maintain the situation. It would be very difficult to change it without outting Louis and he also had a strong need for family privacy.

Likewise I think from August-December 2015 'force' isn't a very good way of understanding what would have happened. People often do things that aren't ideal, because they're better than any other option.

To me there are really only two areas of question - the first is the announcement, and the second is the aftermath of the birth. And I wouldn't suggest I had an explanation in either case, but I do have areas of explanation.

1D was in crisis for all of 2015 and I suspect those crises overlapped in curious and unexplained ways. But one thread of crisis was that Harry and Louis' closet was not holding. There were respectful and curious podcasts, people with profile were discussing the possibility openly. Louis talking about his birthday near led to outting him. At the same time Eleanor left (I assume because she wanted to, but maybe it was unsustainable for other reason). Louis hadn't suddenly become more convincing at heterosexuality. Then the new beard became pregnant. I don't think this is sufficient explanation, but I think combined with probably six different things I don't know. I can see how 'have a story that it's Louis, we can always deny it', was an option that gained concensus. (It's important to understand how the situation snowballed over time, and that people only ever agreed to it one step at a time).

I think the situation with the birth is much more mystifying, but I've made peace with not knowing, because we have no idea what Louis was hoping 2016 was going to look like. We don't know what his plans or intentions were. We only know that his 2016 ended up looking catastrophically, entirely different from what he'd hoped.

That's where I come from. There are lots of holes, and it's perfectly reasonable that other people think differently. People have different experiences and weight things in a range of ways.

[insomniziam]

Okay I'm ready. I'm the anon from yesterday who lost a whole ass rant. I'm ready to do it again(I'm typing this is the notes app first!!)

So I follow quite few Larry blogs that I love and respect cause they never give any shit about the stunts and defend Harry and louis so fiercely. I really like them for that. But lately they've been getting anon asks about ziam and idk why would people do that?? Like we'd make it very clear if we are ziams. Super crystal clear cause there are few of us(compared to the whole of directioner fandom). Honestly these blogs replied quite civilly like "I don't have any opinion about ziam cause I don't follow them closely" and such which is mature and good. But sometimes after numerous asks things do get heated and they let slip a sentence or two that really hurts. Like someone said the name ziammies is a fucking joke and I know we don't like it either and we'd prefer ziams. But it is so much more different when someone who doesn't believe zayn and Liam say that. And someone else listed all the things that make people believe in Larry and told that for ziam they only know about Zayn posting a selfie with a filter and both of them going blonde after a breakup(?)

It hurts my heart cause there's so much more than that. The casual soft reverent touches. Sharing orange eye ring that Zayn recreated in his like I would mv. Wearing brands that are associated with each other. Zayn fucking tatooing Liam's single cover waaaay before it got announced. Zayn literally having Liam's name and face tatooed on him. The almost kisses. The definite kiss on that dark stage that louis had to transform into on-the-spot cuddle. Eyebrow slits even after all these years. Family's support of the other boys. How they almost let it slip that they got a dog together in 1D day. One missing feather in zayns wing that is conveniently tattooed in Liam's arm with the words I figured it out curling around it. Which are the words to the song you & i which is point blank ziam anthem. It was the only song confirmed by Liam to be played before he let other 1D songs to be chosen by fans to be played at his online gig.

I don't need anyone to validate the "realness" of ziam. They are screaming enough. I'm hearing enough. But I can't tell all these to those blogs cause that bridge is burned and any talk about ziam is soured.

And I can't help but notice this. This is not comparing. I'm a larrie and a ziam. More people recognise Louis' babygate cause it happened with a nobody and people were screaming about his closet. Zayn's happened with a well known model who has a fanbase of her own so she can get away with not showing the baby's face(she "accidentally" revealed it anyway). Jungle family has only he-looks-like-louis-card so they overuse it. Posting baby's pics with ads? Check on both sides. Family members using the baby to promote their life? Check on both sides. Supposed baby mamas posting pics of the baby which gets far more likes than their regular posts? Check on both sides. Zayn likes louis' father announcement post(he rarely likes the boys' pics) and 4 years later louis goes out of his way to like zayns father announcement pic when zouis has never interacted once in those 4 years and there's beef between them?? And that's normal? That's not louis hinting at something amiss with the baby?? That's not enough proof to know that this is babygate 3.0? Liam's is more of a backburner babygate but it's still there. Like he has a baby with reclusive Cheryl and conveniently has one shit Polaroid pic and then bam. She just posts the baby's voice and stuff and that's done?? The common thing btw Liam and Zayn is that they know shit about babies. Liam telling his son can talk good when he was one??? Zayn telling it's really easy to be with a newborn baby?? Sure Jan. This irks me really. Anyway this is my loong looooong rant and I hope this finds you safe :)

Again, I'm so sorry this took me so long to respond to!

I share all of your frustrations, but you can't help people that don't want it, unfortunately, but at least then it's no longer your problem!

Just know that you're not crazy for holding differing beliefs, and you have a legitimate reason to do so. You'll learn that there's no point in having these discussions with people who don't want to listen, and save your time for things you actually love to do!

Again, so sorry this took me so long, I hope you're safe as well! Feel free to come back at anytime 😘

[ajbwasntwriting]

To Serve and Protect (Bucky Barnes x Police!Fem!Reader)

the twd obsession has been interrupted since I’ve started watch TFATWS and have binged bucky fics like I was 15.

Summery: - Reader is an accomplished New York officer but an old case comes back in the shape of a super soldier in need of aid.

Warnings: - Light Spoilers for TFATWS, Cursing, mentions of Human Trafficking, flirty Bucky(kind of I tried)

You had just received your second medal of honor before the blip had occurred. When you came back, you were nearly arrested for breaking into what you had known as your apartment. Luckily, the situation was under control quickly. You had family just outside the city who were willing to support you until you got back on your feet but it still felt like a kick in the gut that your home was gone and you now had to learn a bunch of new skills to do with being a cop. Most of your friends had either died during the five years or had to move out of New York, and those who remained had moved on and didn’t seem to have time for you in their lives.

At least a few of your favourite places had stayed open, including what you thought was the best pizza joint in the state. You got dinner here most nights because it hadn’t changed. The tables still wobbled, the neon sign still buzzed from overuse, and Louis the owner still kept a couple slices of your favorite pie in the back for you.

“Please tell me the back booth is free” you sighed, taking the food from Louis.

“Long day, Detective?” Louis replied.

“New partner thinks I’m an idiot.” You mumble, taking a bite from the pie and burning your tongue.

“It’s clear,” Louis said sympathetically, nodding to the far side of the restaurant.

You slid into the small booth tucked out of the way, tucking into your pizza and soda. After your first slice you noticed a carving on the table. It was your initials plus A.S. equals epic. You smiled as you remembered your previous partner Aarush Sharma. You two had been friends since you joined the force and had come to this booth almost every break hour to fill up on pizza and terrible coffee.

“Detective L/N.” A gruff voice spoke to you. Judging by the shadow he casted over you, he was a big man.

“Look if your here to buy me off or intimidate me,” you snapped, “then you can fu-” you stopped short when you looked up. You recognised the man as James Buchanen Barnes instantly. “Oh,” you sighed with relief.

“You know me?” he asked you.

“Followed the Zemo case.” you explained. He visibly tensed at the mention of Zemo. You held up your hand to calm him. “I know you’ve been pardoned.” You suddenly remembered how your conversation with the Winter Soldier had begun “wait, how do you know me?”

“I need your help,” He spoke low, just so the two of you could hear. He slid opposite you in the booth, leaning forward on the table. “Two-thousand-fifteen, August seventh you filed a report on a human trafficking ring operating out of staten island.” You began eating your second slice of pizza as he talked. “You arrested the main perpetrators, with the exception of Donnie Morris and Frank Abara. You opened an investigation on them but it went cold two months later.” You nodded along to the story. “That’s because-”

“They’re Hydra? Real names Robert Bern and Josh Smith? And the trafficking was for human experimentation?” you interrupted him. He stared at you, just about concealing his surprise. “I was a good cop.” you finished off your pizza, wiping your mouth and looking away in shame. “Was.”

“Why’d you stop?” he asked.

“They threatened me.” You patted the flour off your hands and picked up your soda. “And when that didn’t work, they told my friends to stop me else their family would be hurt, so.” you slurped on your soda and stared back at him.

His piercing blue eyes were reading you like a book, pulling apart your disgust at never catching them, and trying to figure out how to use it to his advantage. He had to admit it was impressive that a normal police officer was able to get farther than he was, but you were still a normal person.

“I need to find them,” he spoke up.

“Why?” you cocked your eyebrow, soda straw still in your mouth. You had been studying his face to find any tell of malintent but the only conclusion you were drawing was that he was handsome as hell, and really good at hiding his tells.

“You don’t need to know.” he retorted. You hummed with discontent.

“See, Mr. Barnes. My job is to protect and serve. Sadly, that includes assholes.” You put down the now empty soda cup and leaned forward to match his position. “And you’ve said enough for me to arrest you under suspicion of planning to commit a crime against said assholes.” His glare hardened and his jaw tightened as he stared you down. “So please answer the question, ideally in a non-incriminating way.”

He looked and huffed, sliding back a little before fixing you with his stare again, but it wasn’t long until he was looking from his hands to the window, seemingly in defeat. “Their boss is dangerous. And I’m the one that made it so.” He forced a bitter smile finally looking back at you. “I’m trying to right as many wrongs as I can but I can’t find this guy but you.” he punctuated by pointing at you with his joined hands. You caught a glint of something metal up his sleeve that you suspect was his arm. “You came very, very close. Apparently, Closer than I thought you did.”

You mulled it over in your head for a moment before reaching into your breast pocket and pulling out your notepad. “Look, I don’t know what to tell you, Mr. Barnes” You looked over the restaurant between bouts of writing, talking all the while in case people were listening. “The case is closed and the records are public so everything you know is everything I know.” You quietly ripped off the piece of paper and pocketed the notebook, picking up your trash to disguise it. He took the hint and hid the paper by putting his hands down and sliding back in the booth, seemingly in defeat. “Good night, Mr. Barnes.” you said, and walked away, depositing your trash on your way out.

Bucky sat their a moment to give you a head start before stepping out himself, piece of paper in hand. As he walked home he opened the paper.

Tomorrow Seneca Village 23:35

Bucky stood in front of the plaque, mind too busy working through every horrible thing that could happen from this little stunt. He was about to run when he heard your voice. “Hey there.”

You walked over and stood next to him, stoically in your repose. You were wearing a pair of jeans and heeled boots with a fashionable jacket and a suitcase in hand. “I don't know which of us is stupider right now.”

“You could have picked a better meeting spot.” Bucky retorted, shifting uncomfortably.

“It’s horrifying,” you commented, putting the case down, Reading over the plaque. “Over two hundred lives ruined by a couple of assholes who wanted a park. Reminds me of another couple of assholes.”

“Yeah?” Bucky replied. You stood there a moment longer, thinking if you could still go back. You bit your tongue and decided having faith was the better bet.

“Burn it when you’re done.” you shot back and walked past him.

Bucky noticed the case just outside his line of vision. He picked it up and walked away from the plaque, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible despite the case not really matching his attire.

You didn’t hear anything for a couple weeks after the impromptu meeting, having handed over every piece of evidence that had been sitting in your self storage since 2015. Each minute was spent biting your nails with stress, hoping your actions didn’t come back to bite you in the ass. Then the news came on, publicizing that Robert Bern and Josh Smith had been arrested ‘after it was discovered they were connected to a human trafficking ring in New Jersey and a former operation in Staten Island.’

“Looks like somebody did your job for you.”

“Shut up, Louis.” you quip back at him, nursing a terrible cup of coffee. The restaurant was near empty aside from yourself, Louis, a trio of loud drunk women in the corner and a homeless man who had scraped cents together to buy a slice of pizza. The TV above the kitchen archway providing most of the ambiance.

“What’s got you in a mood?” he asked as he cleaned.

“Ever been ditched on a blind date? I get all dolled up,” you opened your coat to show a figure hugging dress with a low neckline, coupled with an elegant necklace. “And the asshole texts me when I’m already at the lounge saying he needs a fucking rain check.”

“Okay, well he’s an ass-”

“Right!” you exclaim.

“But you need to stop scowling before you scare off my customers.” Louis playfully chided.

“Oh, cause there’s so many of them.” you waved a hand out at the restaurant to emphasize your point. Still you leaned over your coffee to stew in your own misery. You couldn’t hear the door open over the women’s third rendition of ‘I’m every woman’ but you noticed someone slide onto the bar stool next to you. You turned your head to see Bucky looking back.

“Have I seen you here before?” Bucky said playfully.

You chuckled involuntarily and sat up on your stool. “You must be mistaking me with someone else.”

He swiveled on the stool to face you fully, leaning on the counter comfortably. “You sure?” he seemed to be playing with you, a sly smirk on his face. “Could’ve sworn I met this detective lady here who looked a lot like you.”

“Was she pretty?” You pressed, a smile now sneaking it’s way onto your face without you knowing.

Bucky looked in your eyes with a soft sincerity. “Incredibly,”

You laughed nervously as you looked away and into the pool of your coffee. “Was that before or after she helped you with your job.” You deflected.

“About that,” Bucky leaned onto the counter. He was still quiet good at hiding his tells but you got the impression he was nervous by the pause. “You gave me more than I needed so I was able to do better than I planned. I know how hard it can be to trust someone. I'm not sure how to thank you for that.”

“Take her on a date!” Louis yelled from the kitchen, looking at you two through the serving window. “She’s already all ‘dolled up’” Louis mocked you.

“Keep cleaning!” you shot back. “Ignore him. He’s just dripping with sympathy since I got ditched.”

“I mean,” Bucky started, you looked over and saw him staring at his hands with nerves as his thumbs tapped against each other. “I just wouldn’t know where to take you.” he admitted under his breath.

A question instantly plagued your mind and it demanded to be asked. “Have you not...since nineteen-fifty?”

Bucky nodded with pursed lips. “You can laugh.”

You smiled at the super soldier. “Right,” you announced, pushing yourself off the stool. “Come on, I know a great dive three down.”

“A dive?” Bucky asked in disbelief, but he was still smiling.

“Yep. Where they don’t give a shit who you are as long as you're buying.” You fixed your jacket with new found enthusiasm. “You are buying, right?”

“For a doll like you,” He stood up from the stool. “I’ll buy the bar.” he held the door as you both left the little pizzeria

“Oh honey, there’s nothing like me.” you said playfully as you stepped out the door.

“Then I must be the luckiest man in the world,” he flirted, offering you his arm. You slide your hand in, curling your wrist around his bicep and off you both went.

[giuliafc]

Feeling Clowned

Ao3|| FFN

RATING: M for very mild sexual references

TW: PPD (Postpartum Depression)

It was a year since the defeat of Papillon. A year since Chat Noir had vanished. Left pregnant, alone and heart-broken, when Marinette solves the puzzle and discovers Chat's identity, she feels clowned. (Snippet July and LadyNoir July Day 6: Silence/Clown. Story wordcount 999 words)

Written by: JuliaFC

Beta: KhanOfAllOrcs, Agrestebug

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by (c) Thomas Astruc, TS1 Bouygues, Disney Channel, Zagtoon, Toei Animation. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Written for the "Snippet July" challenge of the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server @miraculousfanworks AND for LadyNoir July @ladynoirjuly Day 6 — Silence/Clown. Let me know what you think!

oOoOoOoOoOo

It was Nino's fault. He returned from a trip from London, and handed her a copy of Vogue. Marinette looked at the magazine. A pair of forest-green eyes looked back.

Adrien.

Today marked a year since they defeated Papillon—a memory that would live forever in her nightmares.

——- Flashback ——-

After handing over M. Agreste and Mlle. Sancoeur to the authorities, her heart had broken for Adrien. It broke even more when they saw why Gabriel was fighting. Chat… had gone berserk. His fighting skills had gone through the roof the very moment he'd seen the coffin.

But in the end, he hadn't wanted to 'pound it' with her. The desperation that seeped through him was only comparable to her own elation, which died when their gazes met.

"What's wrong, Chaton?" she asked, but Chat Noir stayed silent. Instead, he hugged her so tightly that she couldn't breathe. She didn't know why, but that night more than any other time, he needed her. And she gave in to him. She felt the burning desire in him and, finally, she matched it with her own. She guided him to a dark corner, and they detransformed. One kiss led to another, clothes were thrown off, limbs became tangled, climaxes were reached in a synchrony of moans until they both collapsed in an ecstasy that didn't cure the pain, but maybe, just briefly, helped them forget it.

They dressed again, re-transformed, and with more kisses and promises of love, separated. That night had been the single happiest night of her life. But it didn’t last. A couple of days later, Marinette was listening to Chat Noir's message of goodbye. On her Bugphone's Voicemail. "Something's come up in my civilian life and I won't be able to transform for a while," he said. "But I'll keep an eye on the news and if you need me, I'll be right back. I love you, ma Buginette."

——- End of Flashback ——-

He hadn't been there for her. True, the news had been eerily quiet since Papillon's defeat, so Chat Noir didn't really break his promise, but… where was he the day two lines appeared on the stick? When all her dreams shattered, when she felt ashamed of her growing belly, when her mother started asking questions because of her morning sickness? When she moved out and begged Alya and Nino to take her with them? When she gradually isolated herself from human interaction? She left COUNTLESS messages to tell him how she was doing. What she was feeling. That the baby had kicked. That it was a boy, and healthy. That she'd seen him on the screen. That she was going into labour.

To make things worse, Adrien had also gone. The morning after Gabriel's arrest, his aunt put him on the first flight to London, without even a goodbye. So, in one day, she lost both boys she loved.

And now she knew why. As she skimmed through the interview in Vogue, it became clear as day.

"Adrien Agreste reveals about the Lady who stole his heart."

"Sorry, ladies, this heart is already under Agreste."

"I may never see M'lady again, but I'll never stop loving her."

Marinette looked at the word 'M'lady' on the paper in horror. Adrien was Chat Noir. Now it all made sense. His desperation. His disappearance. His silence.

She exploded in a low-throated laughter, her eyes shining with a light full of madness.

"What's so funny, Marinette?" asked Tikki.

"What's so funny, you ask?" she uttered between croaky laughs. Baby thought it was an amazing moment to start crying, and she stood up, picked it up and started feeding it, her frame still shaking from the laughter she couldn't contain. "’What's so funny’?" Marinette repeated in a baby-ish voice, her finger gently poking Louis's nose. "Maman's been clowned, baby."

The confusion in Tikki's eyes enraged her further.

"You all clowned me," hissed Marinette. "Master Fu in primis. But even you. And Plagg. You KNEW it was him since the day we faced Dark Owl. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" She shouted, and Louis grabbed more strongly at her breast, as if looking for comfort.

"Tell you what?"

Marinette laughed again. "That Chat Noir was Adrien fucking Agreste!" Tikki gasped and Marinette's laugh hollowed. "Why didn't you tell me when he disappeared, Tikki? I blame you and Plagg the most. And Adrien right after."

"Adrien didn't know," said Tikki quickly. "He still doesn't."

"Oh, he doesn't know?" she muttered mockingly. "He raves in a fashion magazine about how much he 'loves M'lady' and doesn't think to transform to check his messages. Not even once, in a year! I could have died, and he wouldn't know!" She groaned at Tikki's frown.

"Yes, I blame him. Fuck his life, fuck Gabriel being Papillon, fuck his busy schedule. One. Full. Year! He hasn't transformed ONCE!" She looked at 3-month-old Louis nursing on her, and for an instant, her gaze warmed up, to then harden again. "He has a great life over there, everything that he wants. And instead, I'm stuck with THIS! And it's all his fault. Why didn't he reveal himself to me? Why did he leave me alone?" Tikki tried to pat her head, but Marinette pushed her away. She sat in her nursing chair, sobbing. She sang a lullaby, using the words 'maman's been clowned' instead of the rhymes. Then, when Louis fell asleep, she put him in his carrycot and sat at her desk.

The gleam of madness in Marinette’s eyes scared Tikki. "Please don't do anything rash. I told you already: you're sick. You need to see a psy—" But Marinette interrupted her:

"I'll make him pay for what he's done." She wrote something on a piece of paper and didn't give Tikki time to argue. "Tikki, Kaalki, unify!" she shouted.

Just wait, Agreste. I'm coming for you. And you won't like it. Not one little bit.

"Voyage!" She grabbed the carrycot and jumped through the portal.

-----------------------------------

Author's Note

*ehrm* Hi!

Uh, er, about this story… This comes from a MUCH MUCH LONGER bunny that has been screaming into my hidden bunny trapping basement for about 3 or 4 months. This is a sort of prequel to it, because the story would start with the following scene.

It's a REALLY delicate subject, because some of you who had babies may have recognised it: Marinette in this story suffers from PPD (Postpartum Depression). She went through a lot since Adrien was literally abducted by Amelie. She loves her Chaton, but now she feels betrayed and 'clowned', especially by his silence, and feels trapped.

The story planned after this is quite long and painful (although there would be lighter moments as well), but I don't know how something like this would be received by the fandom, so if you want me to write the sequel, leave me a comment and let me know. I won't take the subject lightly; I had two kids and a miscarriage in between and I was at the brink of falling into depression myself, having been left alone with them, and with a husband who would make things worse. I know how important and serious this subject is.

I hope you liked the story anyway and will leave me a comment, even if you don't want a sequel to it. You know that comments are my bread and butter!

Until (hopefully) tomorrow, bug out!

[soulmatesabroad]

Soulmate Prompts:

Since this is a fic fest about soulmates, we are in need of prompt suggestions! Please send in some prompts that have to do with soulmates! You do NOT have to be writing for this fest to send in prompts!

More info can be found at @soulmatesabroad​!

A: The One au. The One is a tv series that's sort of dystopian in that it explores a reality in which you could suddenly apply to this program that will match you to your soulmate and it follows how specific people deal with that.

B: Where you wake up with a tattoo after meeting your soulmate. Larry are vacationing at the same hotel, they meet and then every day for 4 days after they both gain a new tattoo. When they meet again, they realize their tattoos match perfectly. Rope & anchor, compass & ship, heart & arrow, rose & dagger. 

C: Ziall soulmates au where their first words to each other are tattooed somewhere on their body. Both of them have the phrase “fuck you” on their arms. Of course the first time they meet they both say...

D: in uni, prof is giving a lecture, his student is his soulmate, figuring it out over the semester

E: reverse Wellington: Larry meet, drunk Louis shouts "soulmate" at Harry, then they get to know each other and fall in love

F: Larry please- soulmates who meet in dreams and appear the way they see themselves so that irl one doesn’t recognize the other because he sees himself as plain/boring

G: Larry please - One of them either doesn’t want to meet his soulmate and has been doing everything to avoid meeting them. He gets stuck in a time loop (like Groundhog Day) until he meets and acknowledges his soulmate. 

H: One of them is a surfer, the other is a photographer and they meet somewhere warm. They're 26 and kinda gave up on finding their soulmate but then it happens.

i: any pairing: universe in which soulmates recognise each other by having the same song stuck in their head. cue person a hearing person b humming the song under their breath in location x

J: Larry please - fic where each year you get opportunities to meet your soulmate and live life with them but as soon as the clock hits 00:00 on Dec 31st your memory resets in regards to who your soulmate is. There’s no way to go around this...or is there?

K:  A is a hopeless romantic who has always dreamed of meeting their soulmate. Unfortunately their remote location means they see the same few people every day, none of whom is their match. When Character B arrives and A falls in love with them, the question arises: are they soulmates? Or does A just want them to be?

L: Food is love, and supposedly your soulmate's cooking will taste better than anything you've ever eaten before. Too bad Character A is hopeless in the kitchen. Character B is the chef who promises they can teach anyone how to cook-- is that the only reason A finds their food so delicious? Or is there something more at play?

M: Characters A and B are working together on a yacht. They share a room, and as crew they also happen to share most of their working hours and duties as well. Is that the reason they're so drawn to one another? Regardless of their connection, they're both determined to keep it professional. 

N: It's not only humans who have soulmates, apparently. At least if the pet psychic Character A has consulted about their dog's depression is to be believed. The psychic claims the pup met his soulmate at doggie daycare. Now A is trying to see if she's right by seeking out every possible dog from the playgroup. Will helping a dog find it's soulmate lead Character A to the same thing?

O: Hybrids aren't accepted many places, but in a few countries they have full rights and equality, even if prejudice still exists. Character A was raised in an anti-hybrid country and is now studying/working in a hybrid friendly place. Character B is the hybrid neighbor who they feel drawn to in ways they've heard are typical of soulmates. The possibility is as frightening as it is enticing.

P: Nontraditonal ABO: it's generally accepted doctrine that alphas and omegas are made to go together. Character A has always been attracted to people of their own secondary gender, and has therefore run away from the concept of finding a soulmate. When they meet character B, who shares their secondary gender, and find that the two of them share a soulmark-- the sign of a true mate --their world is turned upside down.

Q: (larry) They have been penpals for years now, sharing their little creative thoughts with each other. Will they ever meet? A new job, a different city, some crossed paths and fate might help.

R: Louis is 30 and the CEO of his family business in Toronto and he has hired a new assistant, Harry, 27. A lot of sexual tension, business trips, coincidences and ‘if he my soulmate or I just have a stalker and also a big crush?’

S: Strangers to friends with benefits to lovers larry; Louis and Harry has finished college and they both are doing a tour across Europe visiting different countries. They start from different cities in and meet in the second/third country they’re visiting. They get along quickly and have a one night stand because they think they won’t meet again. But they meet again in the next city or in the trip to the next city. Is their connection due to their sexual attraction or because they’re soulmates?

T: Louis and Harry are both Niall’s friend but they don’t know each other, however they meet in Niall’s wedding (with his soulmate) in Ireland (or another country if the author prefer another place for the wedding)

U: Larry: Soulmates have a special connection, they have visions of their more important events of their life - both sad and happy but they can’t see their faces, bodies or their friends/families faces. Louis and Harry know everything important that happen to them but they haven’t met yet, they live in different countries and they know that but they don’t know the country they live in. How will they meet? What will happen?

V: Larry: Exes to lovers - People have their soulmates mark in their 18 birthday. Harry and Louis were together during high school and break up before Louis 18 birthday because person A was afraid of not being their soulmates. Louis goes to travel aboard so they don’t know about their mark. They meet again some years later when they’re in their 20...

W: Larry enemies to lovers: Both of them work for the same company and has the same job position but they hate each other because the first time they met it wasn’t “meet cute”. All their coworkers think they are similar and would make an amazing couple so they try to get them together. Most people don’t believe in soulmates anymore, they think it was a legend or maybe it’s not a legend and they’re soulmates?

X: Untraditional soulmates !! For example, a pairing (or poly) comprised of people who aren’t soulmates but are in love anyway. Maybe their “true” soulmates died or just didn’t work out for some reason. Maybe their “true” soulmates are platonic and separate from the romantic relationship. But ultimately the theme being something like “i am choosing to love this person” rather than the world telling them who to love :) 

Y: Character A is a writer who pours their heart and soul into everything they write, though their focus on the soulmate trope is underappreciated. They go away on a writer's retreat to give it one last try and meet Character B, a person who seems to have stepped right out of one of their novels. Is this their soulmate or a figment of their imagination, or have they truly had one of their characters come to life?

Z: In a world where you see in color after hearing the sound of your soulmate's voice, Character A doesn't remember seeing in black and white. When they realize they're different, nobody can explain the reason. It isn't until they meet Character B, a stranger with the same affliction, that they begin to put things together. Or: A and B hear one another's cries as babies, changing their vision from black and white to color before they could possibly have realized it.

AA: Characters A & B somehow keep running into each other inexplicably all over the world. Maybe they happen to study abroad together then have a work conference in the same city then vacation in the same city, etc. Eventually they realize they've been seeing each other all over and maybe the universe is trying to tell them something.

BB: Louis gets a call from an unknown number from across the world. When he answers it, he's asked if he is a Mr. Harry Styles' previous employer and to give a recommendation on his performance. Amused, he pretends he is Harry's old boss and gives a glowing recommendation without knowing who he is. The job that this Harry is going for must be quite intense, because a few days later Louis is asked to fly out to interview in person to attest to Harry's character, where he ends up meeting Harry and falling for him.

CC: OT4/5 platonic soulmates with all the main characters being aro, ace, demisexual, etc. A soulmark appears when you meet a soulmate-- whether they're a platonic, romantic, or sexual soulmate(or sooner combo of the 3) is something each person has to discover for themselves. OT4/5 are grateful to find soulmates who are excited to experience beautiful and deep platonic relationships.

DD: Soulmarks are a trait that most humans have lost. Character A is a vampire who was born in a time when they were far more common. Imagine their surprise when they meet Character B, a human, whose soulmark complements their own.

EE: Larry: An AU where magic exists, Louis has always thought he’s a dark wizard and Harry doesn’t know if he’s a wizard or a normal human. Spoiler: he’s a wizard! They meet when they are 18/20 in a trip and they find more than themselves.

FF: Larry: Louis and Harry are friends of Zayn and Liam but they haven’t met yet. Ziam is having a wedding and their bachelor parties in Hawaii, they meet them.

GG: Louis and Harry haven’t met yet but they meet in a reality show that consists of traveling around the world. The rules of the reality show: Choose a person in the first program to travel with them (Louis and Harry travel together) and spend as little money as possible.

HH: Louis and Harry have been working in the same building for years but they haven’t met officially although they’ve seen each other around. They officially meet when their boss decided to do a work trip to Sydney

ii: Louis and Harry go to Orlando to visit the amusement park. They meet when they’re waiting in the queue for one of the rides and they spend a lot of time together because their other friends are tired of visiting different amusement park and they want to chill.

JJ: Famous/Non-famous larry: “Every time that you and your soulmate are in the same city, you’ll have a mark in your wrist. If one of you leave, the mark disappears” Person A is an actor who loves love but is tiring of two things: fake pr-relationships that make the general public believes that he’s not interest in having a soulmate and traveling. Person B wants to find his soulmate but he knows it’s not in his city so he’s traveling around. They have been in the same place several times but they haven’t met. How many countries will they visit until they meet?

KK: larry please: It is well known that the first time soulmates touch they leave a vivid mark on their partner's skin.  Well one morning Louis wakes up with a bright stripe across his cheekbone and no idea what happened.

LL: hl au: harry is a well-known anthropologist from england but he’s requested to join the discovery of an ancient palace in mexico city. louis is a historian that has lived in said city for several years now, so he’s almost a local. the discovery they both take part of includes a blue greeny jewel that holds a legend about soulmates.

MM: Zouiam ot3 matching soulmate tattoos

NN: A and B are childhood friends and have known they're soulmates since they got their marks in their early teen years but they never develop romantic feelings for each other but they Do want to spend the rest of their life together. Bit of conflict / comfort.

OO: Lirry Shrek au. Harry Fiona has always expected their perfect soulmate to break their curse. Liam Shrek is tired of playing the role of the ogre and being rejected by prejuices. They meet.

PP: Zayn is travelling with his van, he picks up some hitchhikers along the way. They stargaze and bond with each other. They find out they are soulmates when some dangerous situation arises.

QQ: ot5 1d era au. A slowly finds out they are soulmates with each of the others while in the bus or travelling/staying abroad together.

RR: Ziam: In a world where magic exists but soulmates are rare, Liam and Ziam met in the same Magical College and have an instant connection. In history of magic, they learn about soulmates and Character A know that they (Ziam) are soulmates but he’s  afraid and tries to avoid Character B all the time.

SS: Larry - Louis needs a break of his job and travels to a place where Harry lives and Harry needs a break of his past relationships. They meet in a pub and after too many drinks, they decide to do a road trip around the country. The author decides how people know who is their soulmates.

TT: Zouis: they discover they’re soulmates in Zayn’s wedding. Louis is the boyfriend of one of the best mates

UU: Larry - A reality show is trying to prove that soulmates still exist and Louis and Harry are participants in it

VV: HL Monday AU with Harry as Mickey and Louis as Chloe (but with a happy and not toxic ending please!)

WW: The voice you hear your thoughts in is your soulmate’s but you don’t know who they are until you hear them speak for the first time

XX: You’ve been sketching your soulmate’s face since you were old enough to pick up a pencil, the drawings become more realistic through the years as the day you meet comes near

YY: Red strings of fate au. Person A cuts their string. Person B is devastated to find their string has been cut but moves on with their life and finds love with, you guessed it, Person A who doesn’t believe in soulmates. When Person B finds out that Person A cut their string they’re so angry because they know how devastated they were to find their cut string. And Person A is confused at first because they thought Person B didn’t believe in soulmates either and didn’t realize that it was because they had no way of finding their soulmate. And then it hits Person A that there might be a slight chance that Person B IS their soulmate. So they nervously show up with their string and ask if Person A wants to see if the ends fuse together or not. Up to writer if the ends fuse or not.

ZZ: Person A reads tarot cards and while reading Person B’s cards, Person A can see that the cards are telling them that the two of them are soul mates

AAA: Soulmates can hear what their soulmate is singing.  Harry grows up with a soulmate who exclusively sings a weird blend of Oasis, Green Day, and the odd Light Killers song.  Louis grows up with a soulmate who mostly sings Fleetwood Mac and Peter Gabriel. They both hate their soulmates taste in music.

BBB: Every person is born with a golden string on their finger attached to their soulmate.  Everyone but them can see it but it is considered highly rude to tell people without prompting (like taking away a coming of age experience).  Or Harry and Louis fight a lot and everyone looks at them knowingly until one of them cracks and asks someone about it.

CCC: Character A runs a clothing boutique of some kind and one day uses a steamer too close to the smoke detector and sets off the fire alarm. Character B is one of the firemen to respond. Character A is very embarrassed that they did this in front of a super hot fireman, but the firemen are super nice about it. It just so happens they have to come back the following week for an annual inspection of the building and Character A jokes around/flirts with B. Soulmate aspect up to writer. (One idea could be matching soul marks?)

DDD: When soulmates touch for the first time, an electric shock goes through each person. They can’t touch each other without a shock...until they fall in love with each other. Too bad Character A & B hate each other and are not thrilled that when they touch by accident they finally feel the electricity they’ve always been waiting for. 

EEE: The color of your eyes act like a mood ring and changes according to your soulmates' mood. The first time you make eye contact with your soulmate, they turn the same color.

FFF: Reluctant soulmates where one or both of them keep their soulmarks covered at all times because they want to fall in love without the person soulmates

GGG: AU where your soulmate smells like HOME only they’re both too dirty and disgusting to smell like anything other than yuck

HHH: Older Larry AU where they’re both in their 40s or older and still haven’t met The One. Embracing this, they each go on a trip alone, but wind up meeting

iii: Fleetwood Mac/ Rumours AU - Larry as Stevie and Lindsey, Ziam as Christine and John. A breakup and a divorce while recording and touring an iconic album. Endgame Larry. Lovers to exes to soulmates.

[theparanormalperiodical]

French Nuns And Newspaper Clippings: The Real Stories That Inspired The Exorcist (1973)

The year is 1632.

We are in a remote commune in Northern France. The situation is bleak: an outbreak of plague has started snatching lives again, and King Louis XIII is ordering the walls around Loudon to be torn down. The locals are more divided than ever.

But things are about to get worse.

Way worse.

The local nuns are beginning to act strange.

It started when one young nun claimed she had a vision of a dead priest. Suddenly, all 17 clergywomen are reporting similar visions. They then begin cussing, shouting, and displaying more and more aggressive behaviour.

17th century nuns do not act like this.

Oh no, this was something unholy. This was demonic possession.

331 years later, this little-known historic tale would feature as one of the main inspirations behind horror’s most iconic movie.

Yep, the film that still gives you nightmares of young girls walking down stairs crustacean-style is based on a true story. But it’s worse than that. It’s based on two tales of alleged possession, several real-life people, and a demon many still worship today.

*nopes the f*ck out*

Let’s Talk About The Exorcist

Let me just clarify something: the exorcist is not the creepy, possessed ‘lil girl. An exorcist is a person that performs exorcisms - so here, it’s the priests.

The Exorcist was originally a book written by William Peter Blatty. Adapted to a film series (and a TV show) starting 2 years later, they both shared a close plotline. Well, to begin with, anyway.

A statue of a demon is found in an archaeological dig of northern Iraq. The discovery unleashes a mysterious spirit/demon/god called Pazuzu. On the other side of the world, a young girl begins exhibiting strange behaviour. Regan, a typical 12-year-old American girl, refuses to eat or sleep and becomes aggressive. All the while, strange things happen around the house.

The doctors provide no answers to her behaviour, so the mother of the supposedly-ill child turns to religion instead. She finds help in the form of a priest who is experiencing a crisis of faith and consequently doesn’t believe this is demonic possession. But a couple chats with the girl convinces him that yep, she’s bunged up with a demon. So, he asks the bishop if he can perform an exorcism. A priest fresh off that dig in Iraq is shipped over and they get to work. During the final exorcism, one of the priests opts to save the possessed girl by asking the demon to possess them instead. The possessed priest chucks himself out of the window and as he falls to his death, regains his faith in God.

The Exorcist is one of the most famous horror films - if not, the most iconic - of all time, from the traumatic FX makeup of a possessed Regan to sequences ‘80s America wasn’t ready for.

But The Exorcist was not a stand alone film. Contrary to popular belief, what followed was 4 (soon to be 5) sequels ‘n’ prequels that unravelled a deep, dramatic plotline. There’s a reason we don’t hear about them.

In the following films we see the aftermath of Regan’s exorcism and emerging doubts about whether she was in fact really possessed. Political and theological themes rise to the surface, looking deeper at the priests that conducted the exorcism rather than the victim. At the same time we take part in an archeological dig, meet a serial killer, and get a front row seat to a battle during WW2.

It’s a wild ride. But this ride is brimming with reality.

Blatty directly cited inspiration from a number of sources, most famously the 1949 demonic possession of Roland Doe that he first heard when studying at Georgetown University. But he has also claimed that many of the characters who navigated the possession of Regan were based on real people.

Take Father Merrin, the exorcist leading the exorcism: he was based on a British archaeologist that excavated the caves where the Dead Sea Scrolls (ancient manuscripts written in Hebrew) had been found.

But the nature of the exorcism that filled out a majority of the film were informed by the work for Father William S Bowdern, a Jesuit priest who exorcised Roland Doe himself.

However, it wasn’t just the mortals that were inspired by real, historic figures.

Pazuzu Is An Actual Worshipped Demon

Without Pazuzu, there would be no possession. Without Pazuzu, there would be no exorcism, nor the need for an exorcist.

We only see the demon in flashes - but these moments inherit a history that takes us back as far as 3500BC. Pazuzu was an ancient Mesopotamian or Assyro-Babylonian god that was the king of the demons of the wind. He brought storms and drought, and although recognised as an evil spirit, he also drove away other evil spirits. He strives to protect us from plagues and misfortunes, and his rival, Lamashtu, causes harm to mother and baby during childbirth.

He is known as both a demon and a god, but in The Exorcist is recognised more as the former.

We do catch a couple glimpses of Pazuzu, but we only see his face clearly when he begins to take over young Regan. The pasty white face and blood red eyes don’t fit ancient lore: Pazuzu is traditionally depicted as having the head of a lion, the body of a human, the talons of an eagle, a pair of wings, a scorpion’s tail, and a ‘serpentine penis’ (I can’t work out if this is the penis of a snake or a penis that looks like a snake and like I don’t wanna know k).

The Exorcism Of Roland Doe

It’s one of the most famous cases of possession - and we don’t even know who the victim actually was.

In 1949, American newspapers began to pick up on the story of an exorcism in Maryland. A teenage boy was at the centre of mysterious poltergeist activity after the death of his spiritualist aunt. She was the one that first introduced him to an ouija board.

After typical paranormal activity took place, priests were summoned to exorcism him. During these exorcisms, furniture began to move by itself, the boy began to attack priests with rogue bedsprings, he began to speak in an unknown voice, the mattress he lay on began to shake, and words like “evil” and “hell” began to appear in scratches upon his body.

It was a very similar state to the one Regan was in during The Exorcist.

Roland Doe (a pseudonym, obviously) to this day has remained anonymous, and - if alive - he would be 86 years old.

Despite this being the most known case of alleged possession - rivalling only that of Anneliese Michel - it has received a large dose of skepticism and debunking. The supposed location of the exorcism and some personal details of Roland Doe have been contested. Plus, many believe Doe was actually a spoiled, attention-seeking bully who simply repeated Latin phrases heard at school in order to create some elaborate prank.

Regardless of whether it was real or not, it is a landmark moment in paranormal history.

And 300 years before a 14 year old lutheran began to growl Latin at his family members, a group of women began to show similar signs of a haunting.

The Possessed Affair Of Loudon And Aix-en-Provence

I’ve already introduced you to the possessed nuns of Loudon. But it turns out The Exorcist also took inspiration in another French convent: Aix-en-Provence.

The nuns of Loudon pinned their possession on the demon Asmodai and gave a number of different answers as to who summoned it. Some claimed it was either a priest named Peter or Zabulon (a biblical figure). But a week after this, a man named Urbain Grandier who had amassed a lot of power and a strained reputation in the community was considered the culprit.

Soon after the nuns first exhibited strange behaviour, they were hidden away and the symptoms stopped.

The accusations levelled against Grandier were clearly inspired by political motives as he had publicly attacked the cardinal’s work and the taking down of the wall. But locals say he would appear at random in the convent with no one sure as to how he got inside. It was even claimed that he had made a pact with the devil - from which a physical contract was supposedly uncovered - and that he had attended witch’s sabbat.

The priest was executed for sorcery and given ‘the boot’ (a method of torture).

Loudon and Aix-en-Provence are considered cases that fit in well with wider witch trials taking place across western Europe in the 17th century. The possession of the Ursuline nuns of Aix-en-Provence were similar to that of Loudon - but were just a tad more mental.

20 years before Grandier was convicted, a young woman, Madeleine de Demandolx, confessed to the superior of the convent that she had been intimate with the local priest. She was sent away to Aix-en-Provence to get some distance but soon began to do some rather out-of-character things.

She would have convulsions and soon the other nuns began to do the same. It appeared to be contagious.

But things got hella weird when the nuns gathered together in a holy cave that Mary Magdalene was meant to have once lived in (Sainte-Baume) to be exorcised. Instead of just shaking, they all tried to outdo each other in symptoms of possession.

Once would cuss fervently; another would speak in a deep, demonic voice.

A political story soon unravelled full of accusations, executions, and even Madeleine being released from jail at 77 for her alleged witchcraft.

So - are you ever going to watch The Exorcist after this?

(Me neither.)

If you liked this post, go on and let me know with a like ‘n’ a reblog. And if you want to hear somethin’ spooky every Saturday, go on and hit follow!

[falsegoodnight]

part one of my december fic rec! this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 15th so half of this month! (mostly just the first week and a half though because FINALS!) 

there’s still twenty fics/ficlets on here though which is insane so that’s why i’m splitting my monthly recs into two lists again!

you can find part two here

—

✰ (have yourself a) Merry little Christmas by @defencelesst | G | 1k (so so so soft and sweet and perfect!! lottie’s stories always warm my heart!)

There's a saying in Korean culture about how watching the first snow of the year with someone means you're destined to stay together for a long time.

✰ Still by @allwaswell16 | NR | 2k (a timestamp for this series) (so sweet and heartwarming! the PERFECT end to the series!)

Louis has settled into his life in Colorado with Harry, their horses, and of course, Lacey the goat. And now the day has arrived to finally marry the man who makes this place feel like home.

✰ sugary sweet by @soldouthaz | E | 4k (drabble from this series) (hot, hot, hot! did i mention, hot?)

From the corner of his eye he can see every movement. The fire makes Louis’ skin even more golden than usual, the peaks of his nipples dark pink in pale contrast. His chest is already beginning to rise and fall quicker where a blush has bloomed up near his throat from his excitement. His arm is raised, shaking lightly as he holds up the icing can, his mouth parted as he pants softly.

Louis looks ethereal, and Harry’s having a more difficult time than he thought not being able to touch him.

✰ Thank you, five by @nouies | E | 6k (technically a reread) (so so cute and lovely and hot!!!)

“Harry?” He says as soon as he recognises the other man.

“Louis? Wh-what are you doing here?” Harry asks with a frown.

“Well, I’m here for rehearsal,” Louis announces with a proud smile.

There’s a flash of confusion on Harry’s face. “What do you mean rehearsal? I got the part, you didn’t.”

✰ can you keep me close, can you love me most? by @soldouthaz | G | 6k (a drabble from this series) (made me CRY!! love this world and these characters so so much!!!)

“I’m so sorry, Harry. This was supposed to be our night and we were going to eat and then walk around the city and-”

“Lou, it’s alright,” Harry says, “seriously. We can always make another reservation. Don’t worry about it, love.”

“I know, just -” Louis cuts himself off with a sigh.

He knows they can reschedule. It’s not so much that he cares about the reservation, really, or any of the food. His students are so important to him and he’d always drop anything to help them, except that he sort of - well, Louis sort of thought Harry would propose tonight.

✰ singing your praises by @loubellies | E | 6k (really hot and sexy but also cute!)

Prompt 86: Louis rides Harry while wearing his packer’s jersey/sweater and gets his ass ate.

✰ You’ll wait for me only by @tired-eyes-lou | T | 9k (love accidental bonding fics! cute!)

Harry nips at the bondmark on Louis’ neck, Louis’ hands go to his hips, grounding him. He allows himself this, knowing that his Omega needs it too. Harry pulls back, “Go on a date with me.” He rushes out, looking at Louis’ eyes.

Louis laughs and shakes his head. “No, Louis, I’m serious. We’ve bonded for life anyway, might as well try.” Louis looks at him, “You’ve been thinking about this a lot.” Louis points out, Harry nods. “Okay.” Louis says and walks out leaving Harry. “Okay what?!”

✰ Pretty and Pink by @larryinpantiess | E | 13k (cute and lovely! love trucker harry!)

Harry never lets anyone come on the road with him.

Then, a cute hitchhiker, Louis comes around.

✰ show you the stars in the daylight by @yvesaintlourent | E | 13k (AMAZING INCREDIBLE PERFECT! i love childhood best friends and also !! miscommunication !! idiots in love !!) 

Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawny, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

✰ silver linings by @millsxwriting | T | 14k (so cute and sweet :’) as a big fan of emails, this made my heart happy)

As Louis starts his freshman year of college out of state, Harry finishes his last year of high school back home. The distance between California and Arizona has both of them gripping onto everything they can to make their relationship work.

✰ Won’t Keep You My (Dirty Little) Secret by @lovelykits | M | 16k (wow wow wow i adored this!!! louis and harry were both so lovely!)

Louis and Harry have been together since the end of last year and somehow no one knows about it.

✰ The Boy with the Tin Chest and the Glass Heart by @louloubabys1992 | M | 18k (amazing concept and so cute!! love the inclusion of fairy tales in this one too!)

Alpha Harry Styles, world-renowned author of fairy-tales, is being persuaded by the Beta, Liam Payne, to hire a new illustrator. Since Harry’s own illustrations are too graphic for what is supposed to be children’s stories, Liam feels the need is dire. Omega Louis does not agree with Liam since he believes that Harry’s stories are fine just the way they are. Of course this has nothing to do with Louis being totally biased or totally head over heels for Harry. It certainly has nothing to do with being jealous of the mysterious omega illustrator Liam has in mind to team Harry up with.

Seriously, it has nothing to do with that at all. Nothing, absolutely nothing, zilch, nada.

Yeah...

✰ Across the Grey, Salty Sea by @the-cheshire-pussy-cat | E | 20k (incredible!!! the ending made me so emotional ahh)

Prompt 212: Alex from Dunkirk and French escort/prostitute Louis who ends up in Alex’s quarters more nights than not. Alex gives him his dog tag to wear maybe just a lot of smut and dirty talk with Louis being a pretty princess.

✰ blue songs are like tattoos by @loubellies | E | 31k (berkeley chant!! but so so cute and amazing! loved the playlist that went with it too!)

“Good morning, University of California, you’re listening to KALX 90.7 FM Berkeley, this is DJ Harry Styles. If the owner of the tapes I’ve been finding around the studio doesn’t come forward and introduce himself, I’m going to continue tossing them straight in the trash!”

✰ Freeway of Love (In a Pink Cadillac) by @mizzhydes | E | 33k (the plot twist took me off guard but wow!)

Louis was on his way to Miami to visit an old friend. Harry was going there for a little R&R and take in the sights and sounds. A sudden upgrade in seating brought these polar opposites together. The universe works in mysterious ways and they are unknowingly about to embark on an adventure they will surely remember for a lifetime.

✰ Cold As Ice And Everything Nice by @harriblou | M | 41k (this was so sweet and amazing and tender <333 loved it!)

Louis is a professional ice-skater and he meets Harry, who offers to clean the ice for him.

✰ When Our Worlds They Fall Apart by @holdingthornsandroses | E | 42k (louis as leia??? harry as han solo??? amazing perfect incredible! made my heart happy!)

Harry put his hand over his heart as if Louis had wounded him. “You’re so harsh, my liege! Perhaps you need to relieve some tension…” He let his voice trail off suggestively.

“The day I ask YOU to relieve tension is the day I lose all my wits and join the Imperials,” Louis said. “It will never happen.”

✰ A Place With Skeletons by @crazyupsetter | E | 51k (yet another masterpiece from this author. continues to blow me away <3 that one line (you know if you know) still sticks with me today)

“I would choose anyone other than you,” Louis says, picking up his train of thought again. He feels a lot more cornered and defensive when they’re in Harry’s house, for some reason. It doesn’t really make sense, considering that this time, Louis was the one who couldn’t hack it any longer. He broke first. There’s something about being in Harry’s space, though, the green and earthy feeling of it. It should feel like open space with all the plants, but Louis has never felt more claustrophobic than he does when he’s here.

Harry’s chest moves against his back, a sharp intake of air. Before he can open his mouth to defend himself, Louis keeps going, “If I had a choice in any of this, I would have been saved by that elderly security guard over you. I wouldn’t mind having to have the occasional cuddle with her.”

✰ through the wheatfields and the coastlines by @thepolourryexpress | E | 53k (ni was right. i definitely fell in love with cowboy harry but i’m not complaining! this fic had it all and i’ll definitely be rereading this in the future - so so amazing!)

Louis needs inspiration, and a certain cowboy and his lamb are the perfect distraction.

✰ Know I Think You’re Awesome, Right? by @princesshalo​ | E | 60k (amazing amazing amazing! loved the conflict between louis and harry and their dynamic!)

A college AU where Louis is a hippie, very good vibes activist and Harry is a punk, anarchist that always gets involved in violent protests.

If you read any of these lovely fics, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Vivant, il a manqué le monde ; mort, il le possède.

- François René de Chateaubriand (1768-1848), Vie de Napoléon, livres XIX à XXIV des Mémoires d’outre-tombe (posthume)

Of course we don’t have any photograph or film of Napoleon’s death on 5 May 1821 on Saint Hélène. But we do have the next best thing: a painting. Charles de Steuben depiction of Napoleon's deathbed and his faithful entourage that served as witnesses to his dying moments became the one of the most important paintings of the post-Napoleonic era but then faded from modern memory.

I first came across it by accident when I was in my teens at my Swiss boarding school. There were times I found myself with school friends going away on hiking trips around the high Alpine chain of the Allgäu Alps and we would drive through Lake Constance to get there, or we would hike around the Lake itself through the Bodensee-Rundwanderweg.

Perched high above Lake Constance and nestled in large parklands, stood Schloss Arenenberg which overlooks the lower part of Lake Constance. At first, it appears a relatively modest country house. But this was no usual pretty looking house. Arenenberg was owned by well-heeled families before it was sold to Hortense de Beauharnais, the adopted daughter and sister-in-law of the French Emperor himself, Napoleon Bonaparte. She had it rebuilt in the French Empire style and lived there from 1817 with her son Louis Napoleon, later Emperor Napoleon III, who is said to have spoken the Thurgau dialect in addition to French. This elegantly furnished castle then was once the residence of the last emperor of France.

The alterations made first by Queen Hortense and later by Empress Eugénie have been carefully preserved and the house still bears the marks of both women. Queen Hortense's drawing room is perfectly preserved and visitors can still admire her magnificent library (all marked with the Empress' cipher) containing over one thousand books. Likewise, in the room where the queen died, every object has been maintained in its original condition: pieces of furniture and personal belongings are gathered here to evoke her memory in a very touching manner. As for Empress Eugénie's rooms, they too have been very carefully preserved. Her private drawing room is a perfect illustration of the Second Empire style with sculptures by Carpeaux and portraits of the imperial family by Winterhalter.

After 1873, the Empress and the Imperial Prince brought the palace back to life by making regular summer visits, which they continued until 1878. However, on the tragic death of her son in 1879, Eugénie found it difficult to return to a place so full of painful memories. And so in 1906 she donated the estate to the canton of Thurgovie as a testimony of her gratitude for the region's faithful hospitality towards the Napoleon family. And in accordance with the Empress' wishes, the residence was turned into a museum devoted to Napoleon.

In what is now the Napoleonic Museum, the original furnishings have been preserved, and the palace gardens had been fully restored. This in itself might be worth a visit for the view over Lake Constance which is stunning. For Napoleonic era buffs though its the incredible art collection which is its real treasure. It houses an important art collection including works by the First-Empire artists Chinard Canova, Gros, Robert Lefèvre, Gérard, Isabey and Girodet-Trioson, and by the Second-Empire painters and sculptors Alfred de Dreux, Winterhalter, Carpeaux, Meissonier, Hébert, Flandrin, Detaille, Nieuwerkerke and Giraud.

But what caught my eye was this painting, ‘La Mort de Napoléon’ by Charles de Steuben. I didn’t know anything about it or the artist for that matter, but one of my more erudite school friends who, being French, was into Napoleonic stuff in a huge way, and she explained it all to me. Of course I knew a fair bit about Napoleon growing up because my grandfather and father, being military men themselves, were Napoleonic warfare buffs and it rubbed off onto me. I just knew about Napoleon the military genius. I never thought about him once he was beaten at Waterloo in 1815. So I never really engaged with Napoleon the man. And yet here I was staring at his last breath of mortality caught forever in time through art. Not for the first time I had mixed feelings about Napoleon Bonaparte, both the man and the myth (built up around him since his death).

On 5 May, 1821, at 5.49pm in Longwood House on the remote island of St Helena, in the words of the famed French man of letters,  François-René de Chateaubriand, ‘the mightiest breath of life which ever animated human clay’ came no more. To the British, Dutch, and Prussian coalition who had exiled Naopleon Bonaparte there in 1815, he was a despot, but to France, he was seen as a devotee of the Enlightenment.

In the decade following his demise, Napoleon’s image underwent a transformation in France. The monarchy had been restored, but by the late 1820s, it was growing unpopular. King Charles X was seen as a threat to the civil liberties established during the Napoleonic era. This mistrust revived Napoleon’s reputation and put him in a more heroic light.

Fascination with the French leader’s death led Charles de Steuben, a German-born Romantic painter living in Paris, to immortalise the momentous event. Steuben’s painting depicts the moment of Napoleon’s death and seeks to capture the sense of awe in the room at the death of a man whose legendary career had begun in the French Revolution. It was this, ultimate moment that Steuben wished to immortalise in a painting which has since become what could almost be described as the official version of the scene.

There is no question that Steuben’s painting became the most famous and most iconic depiction of Napoleon’s death in art history. In another painting, executed during the years 1825-1830, Steuben was to give a realistic view of the emperor dictating his memoirs to general Gourgaud. This same realism also pervades his version of Napoleon’s death, and it is totally unlike Horace Vernet’s, Le songe de Bertrand ou L’Apothéose de Napoléon (Bertrand’s Dream or the apotheosis of Napoleon) which, although painted in the same year, is an allegorical celebration of the emperor’s martyrdom and as such the first stone in the edifice of the Napoleonic legend.

And what a legend Napoleon’s life was turned into for time immemorial. Napoleon declared himself France’s First Consul in 1799 and then emperor in 1804. For the next decade, he led France against a series of European coalitions during the Napoleonic Wars and expanded his empire throughout much of continental Europe before his defeat in 1814. He was exiled to the Mediterranean island of Elba, but he escaped and briefly reasserted control over France before a crushing final defeat at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815.

Napoleon’s military prowess earned him the fear of his enemies, but his civil reforms in France brought him the respect of his people. The Napoleonic Code, introduced in 1804, replaced the existing patchwork of French laws with a unified national system built on the principles of the Enlightenment: universal male suffrage, property rights, equality (for men), and religious freedom. Even in his final exile on St. Helena, Napoleon proved a magnetic presence. Passengers of ships docked to resupply would hurry to meet the great general. He developed strong personal bonds with the coterie who had accompanied him into exile. Although some speculate that he was murdered, most agree that Napoleon’s death in 1821, at the age of 51, was the result of stomach cancer.

By contrast, Charles de Steuben was born in 1788, his youth and artistic training coinciding with Napoleon’s rise to power. He was the son of the Duke of Württemberg officer Carl Hans Ernst von Steuben. At the age of twelve he moved with his father, who entered Russian service as a captain, to Saint Petersburg, where he studied drawing at the Art Academy classes as a guest student. Thanks his father's social contacts in the court of the Tsar, in the summer of 1802 he accompanied the young Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna of Russia (1786–1859) and granddaughter of Frederick II Eugene, Duke of Württemberg, to the Thuringian cultural city of Weimar, where the Tsar's daughter two years later married Charles Frederick, Grand Duke of Saxe-Weimar-Eisenach (1783–1853). Steuben, then fourteen years old, was a Page at the ducal court, a position for which the career prospects would be in the military or administration. The poet Friedrich Schiller was a family friend who at once recognised De Steuben's artistic talent and instilled in him his political ideal of free self-determination regardless of courtly constraints.

At the behest of Pierre Fontaine in 1828 de Steuben painted La Clémence de Henri IV après la Bataille d'Ivry, depicting a victorious Henry IV of France at the Battle of Ivry. De Steuben's Bataille de Poitiers, en octobre 732, painted between 1834 and 1837, shows the triumphant Charles Martel at the Battle of Tours, also known as the Battle of Poitiers. He painted Jeanne la folle around the same time and he was commissioned by Louis Philippe to paint a series of portraits of past Kings of France.

Life in the French capital was a repeated source of internal conflict for Steuben. The allure of bohemian Paris and his military-dominated upbringing made him a wanderer between worlds. As an official commitment to his adopted country he became a French citizen in 1823. However, the irregularity of his income as a freelance artist was in contrast to his sense of duty and social responsibility. To secure his family financially, he took a job as an art teacher at École Polytechnique, where he briefly trained Gustave Courbet. In 1840 he was awarded a gold medal at the Salon de Paris for his highly acclaimed paintings.

The love of classical painting was a lifelong passion of Steuben. He was a close friend to Eugène Delacroix, the leader of the French Romantic school of painting, whom he portrayed several times. Steuben was also part of this artistic movement, which replaced classicism in French painting. "The painter of the Revolution," as Jacques-Louis David was called by his students, joined art with politics in his works. The subjects of his historical paintings supported historical change. He painted mainly in sharp colour contrasts, heavy solid contours and clear outlines. The severity of this style led many contemporary artists - including Prud'hon - to a romanticised counter movement. They preferred the shadowy softness and gentle colour gradations of Italian Renaissance painters such as Leonardo da Vinci and Antonio da Correggio, whose works they studied intensively. Steuben, who had begun his training with David, felt the school was becoming increasingly rigid and dogmatic. Critics praised his deliberate compositions, excellent brush stroke and impressive colour effects. But some of his critics felt that his pursuit of dramatic design of rich people also showed, at times, a pronounced tendency toward the histrionic.

The portrayal of key moments in Napoleon’s dramatic military career would feature among some of Steuben’s best known works. But it is this death scene that Steuben is most remembered for.

Using his high-level contacts among figures in Napoleon’s circle, Steuben interviewed and sketched many of the people who had been present when Napoleon died at Longwood House on St. Helena. He wanted to attempt o give the most accurate representation of the scene possible. Indeed, the painter interviewed the companions of Napoleon’s captivity on their return to France and had them pose for their portraits. Only the Abbé Vignali, captain Crokat and the doctor Arnott were painted from memory. The Grand maréchal Bertrand made sketches of the plan of the room, noting the positions of the different pieces of furniture and people in the room. All the protagonists within the painting brought together some of their souvenirs and in posing for the painter, each person can be seen contributing to a work of collective memory, very much with posterity in mind.

Painstakingly researched, Steuben painted  a carefully composed scene of hushed grief. Notable among the figures are Gen. Henri Bertrand, who loyally followed Napoleon into exile; Bertrand’s wife, Fanny; and their children, of whom Napoleon had become very fond.

The best known version of “La Mort de Napoléon” was completed in 1828. French writer Stendhal considered it “a masterpiece of expression.” In 1830 the installation of a more liberal monarchy in France further boosted admiration of Napoleon, who suddenly became a wildly popular figure in theatre, art, and music. This fervour led to the diffusion of Steuben’s deathbed scene in the form of engravings throughout Europe in the 1830s. As Napoleon’s stock arose within French culture and arts, so did Steuben’s depiction of Napoleon’s death. It became a grandeur of vision that permeated Steuben’s masterpiece of historical reconstruction.

Initially forming part of the collection of the Colonel de Chambrure, the painting was put up for auction in Paris, on 9 March 1830, with other Napoleonic works, notably Horace Vernet’s Les Adieux de Fontainebleau (The Fontainebleau adieux) and Steuben’s Retour de l’île d’Elbe (The return from the island of Elba). The catalogue noted that the painting had already been viewed in the colonel’s collection by “three thousand connoisseurs” – which alone would have made it a success -, but its renown was to be further amplified by the production of the famous engraving. The diffusion of this engraving by Jean-Pierre-Marie Jazet (1830-1831, held at the Musée de Malmaison), reprinted and copied countless times throughout the 19th century, made the scene a classic in popular imagery, on a level of popularity with paintings such as Millet’s Angelus.

A / Grand Marshal Henri-Gatien Bertrand. Utterly loyal servant of Napoleon’s to the last. His memoirs of the exile on St Helena were not published until 1849. Only the year 1821 has ever been translated into English.

B / General Charles Tristan de Montholon. Courtier and companion of Napoleon’s exile. Montholon managed to ease Bertrand out and become Napoleon’s closest companion at the end, highly rewarded in Napoleon’s will, which Montholon helped write. Montholon’s untrustworthy memoirs were published in 1846/47.

C / Doctor Francesco Antommarchi. Corsican anatomy specialist. Sent by Napoleon’s mother from Rome to St Helena to be Napoleon’s personal physician on the expulsion of Barry O’Meara. Napoleon disliked and distrusted Antommarchi. Antommarchi’s untrustworthy memoirs were very influential and published in 1825.

D / Angelo Paolo Vignali, Abbé. Corsican assistant-chaplain, sent by Madame Mère from Rome to St Helena in 1819.

E / Countess Françoise Elisabeth “Fanny” Bertrand and her children: Napoléon (F), who carried the censer at Napoleon’s funeral; Hortense (G); Henry (H); and Arthur (I), youngest by six years of all the Bertrand children and born on the island. She was wife of the Grand Marshal, very unwilling participant in the exile on St Helena. Her relations with Napoleon were difficult since she refused to live at Longwood. She spoke fluent English. Was however very loyal to Napoleon.

J / Louis Marchand. Napoleon’s valet from 1814 on and one of his closest servants. As Napoleon noted in his will, “The service he [Marchand] rendered were those of a friend”.

K / “Ali”, Louis Étienne Saint-Denis. Known as “the Mamluk Ali”, one of Napoleon’s longest-serving and intimate servants; He became Librarian at Longwood and was an indefatigable copyist of imperial manuscripts.

L / Ali’s English (Catholic) wife, Mary ‘Betsy’ Hall. She was sent out from England by UK relatives of the Countess Bertrand to be governess/nursemaid to the Bertrand children. Married Ali aged 23 in October 1819.

M / Jean Abra(ha)m Noverraz. From the Vaud region in Switzerland. Very tall and imposing figure that Napoleon called his “Helvetic bear”. He was himself ill during Napoleon’s illness.

N / Noverraz’s wife, Joséphine née Brulé. They married in married in July 1819, and she was the Countess Montholon’s lady’s maid. Noverraz and Saint-Denis had a fist fight for the hand of Joséphine.

O / Jean Baptiste Alexandre Pierron. The cook, dessert specialist, long in Napoleon’s service and who had accompanied Napoleon to Elba.

P /Jacques Chandelier. Iincorrectly identified on the picture as Santini who had left the island in 1817. A cook, from the service of Pauline Bonaparte, Napoleon’s sister, who arrived on St Helena with the group from Rome in 1819.

Q /Jacques Coursot. Butler, from the service of Madame Mère, Napoleon’s mother, he arrived on St Helena with the group from Rome in 1819.

R / Doctor Francis Burton. Irish surgeon in the 66th regiment who had arrived on St Helena only on 31st March 1821. He is renowned for having made Napoleon’s death mask (with ensign John Ward and Antommarchi).

S/ Doctor Archibald Arnott. Surgeon in the 20th regiment. Brought in to tend to Napoleon in extremis on 1 April 1821.

T/ Captain William Crokat. A Scot, orderly officer at Longwood for less than a month, having replaced Engelbert Lutyens on 15 April. He received the honour of carrying the news of Napoleon’s death back to London and also the reward, namely, a promotion and £500, privileges of which Lutyens was deliberately deprived by the governor.

[spectacularlyignorantt]

From the dining table

March 2017

Louis sat in the kitchen looking around, dust covering every possible surface. Princess Park, their first home, the place they bought together without telling anyone and then never sold after the breakup. Maybe because they couldn't see each other and not end up in bed, regretting it in the morning. Maybe because they both knew this time apart meant nothing. They were destined to be together, a love no one could understand, right?

The last time he saw Harry was after the presentation of his single Just Hold On on the X-Factor, but they had not been a proper couple for around a year. If you didn’t count the sex, of course. Louis didn’t. Sex didn’t mean much, not when he knew what it felt like to be in a relationship with Harry Styles for 5 years. They would have stopped seeing each other when the band started the hiatus if it wasn’t for his mom's health getting worse. Harry stood next to him all those months, giving him comfort, keeping her company when Louis was too tired to stay awake. Harry was part of his family, after all. And Louis knew Anne, Gems and Robin felt the same way about him. 

The reason for their break up was a mystery for everyone, a question never answered. They belonged together, no one could say the opposite after expending time with the couple for 10 minutes. Either you were blind or disgusted by their love, in a cute way. 

Louis knew, of course. It was a decision, more than anything. They felt like the only thing holding them together was the band and decided to take a break to figure out if there was more than that. So they never sold their first home because there was no chance they weren't going back together. 

Lately, Louis wasn’t so sure about that. To be honest, he wasn't sure about anything. The sky was pouring like it should be, for mood purposes. The lump in his throat made breathing hard, the weight in his chest holding him down in the chair. He closed his eyes, he wasn’t going to cry. The promise he made to his mother was still clear in his mind and it was killing him. Because lately, it felt like Harry had forgotten about them. With his solo music, the movie, all that pr girlfriends Louis knew he hated. All that glamour, all those lights. Why would he be thinking about Louis? Maybe they were right, maybe it wasn’t destiny but circumstance. 

Things got worse recently, after Niall went to his flat a couple of days before, wearing that big old tee and Louis told him he smelled like Harry. He wasn’t jealous, not really. It was Niall, for god’s sake. But Niall was around his baby a lot, they had a close friendship not many knew about. Something about the unusual sadness in Niall's eyes told him much more than the calls Haz never answered. Harry didn’t want him anymore. They were done. 

The pressure in his head felt compressive like the one in his heart. All those shots, pints and pot weren’t a good combination. Neither was that boy with curls but the wrong shade of green when he woke up that morning in a hotel room, unable to remember much about the night before. But what else could he do? How could he go to Harry right now and tell him he was sorry for his insecurities? For ruining everything without a good reason? How could he tell him he was sorry? Liam and Oli said he needed to give it time, but everyday felt a little bit more far away from home. So he came back. 

There was a notepad where they used to write the grocery list sitting on the counter, next to the fridge. He took it and the pen on the table, the dim light coming from the closed window. He didn't know what to do, how to get out of this pain, this love. How to be himself again. 

So Louis did the only thing he felt like he could do right: he wrote a song. It was more of a letter, really. But it was shaped like a song, that was his strong suit after all.  And Harry loved to see him write, once upon a time. Used to dance with him in that kitchen, used to make him pancakes in the morning. They used to talk and fuck and chat for hours between those walls. 

To Harry: 

Woke up alone in this hotel room

Played with myself, where were you?

Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon

I've never felt less cool 

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated, Harry

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

I saw Niall the other day

He said you feel just fine

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

I see it's written, it's all over his face

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call,

And by the way

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

But you, you never do

Woke up this boy who looked just like you

I almost said your name

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call

By the way…

 He stopped there, unable to continue. His hand was shaking, the tears were smushing the ink on the paper. What a fucking cliche, crying after promising himself he wasn’t going to do it. Nothing could hurt as much as losing his mum, nothing could compare. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he just fucking stop?

Louis got up from the chair and walked away from the dining table, leaving the notepad there. He knew deep in his broken heart that the next time he came back it was going to be there. Left and forgotten, just like that house and those memories. Louis left it there next to his allowance to feel sorry for himself. He needed to grow up, get away from those parties and false people. He was going to get his shit together, write away his feelings and find his sound. 

And if Harry didn’t want him in his life, then there was nothing left to do, right?

May 2017

 The recording of Back to you was finally over and now they need it to work in the music video and he wanted to film it on Doncaster. It felt right to go back to his ‘home’, if he couldn't go back home, you know what I mean? It went well with the theme. 

Louis was driving back from the studio to his flat when a notification popped out in this phone: Harry’s album was out and apparently, people thought a couple of songs were about him. Louis wasn't going to be surprised if they were, both wrote about each other a lot along the way. And the fans loved to link things, made up theories about the Larry situation. Something he wished he could out and say ‘yes it was true but it's over now, please stop tagging me, it hurts’. It didn’t. not as much anymore. 

Or that’s what he thought until he heard track 4, Two Ghost. He knew those lyrics, Harry had written them years ago. That is what they used to call each other’s public images: ghosts. Images without a soul. What a young and dramatic pair they used to be, back in 2013. 

He didn't cry with that one, maybe because of its familiarity. And he wasn’t even mad about the songs about girls, he knew Harry better than that, even after all this time. 

Next was Sweet Creature, the one everyone was speculating about, and honestly Harry, ‘two hearts, one home’? The song felt different. Maybe because he thought that Harry didn’t really remember about their lost home, about being young and in love. Too young to know, most people used to say. What a fool he was for listening. Now he knew, and it was too late. 

Kiwi was funny in the most depressing way for him, Woman felt like an anthem, it felt like Harry’s jealousy, his deep and most dark possessive behavior. But then, when a chord from a guitar came in he went to his phone to check the name. He wasn’t quick enough, tho. The first verse stopped him right there. It was a good thing he parked in his apartment building a couple of songs ago. 

Because there, in the shape of the last song of H’s first album, it was Louis' letter. His feelings in a notepad, in the shape of an awkward song. Almost word by word, Harry’s voice filled the car with calmness and longing, a branch of olive. He was giving the first step. If those little easter eggs along the album weren’t enough, he took Louis letter from two fucking months ago and put it there. He probably had to push the label to do it, with such short notice. Harry went out of his way to let him know it wasn’t over. 

Harry went back to Princess Park, just like him. He went back home. 

 ----

His friend picked up the phone after two missed calls. 

‘Oi Lou, how ya doin?’ the thick Irish accent wasn’t enough of a distraction. 

‘Hey lad, I’m fine. Sorry to bother but I need to ask you something’ he could hear the urgency in his own voice. 

‘Never a bother mate, whatever you need’ Niall, always the optimistic. Louis loved him. 

‘Is Harry staying here? In London I mean’ 

‘What? What's going on?’ and then ‘Oh, the album is out, innit?’ 

‘Yeah…’

‘Okay, well, Harry was going to be with Nick today so yeah, he must be doing press shit’

‘Of course, makes sense, thank you mate. I will explain later ’

‘Sure, use protection’

Louis rolled his eyes but didn’t deny the implications. The car came to life once again and he started driving to Harry’s house. The one they used to spend time in when they had some time between recording and touring. He didn’t even feel annoyed by the traffic, listening to the album all over again. Letting his body welcome Harry once again.

Of course, he still had his keys, drowned deep in the glovebox. He wasn’t going to enter the actual house, but it wouldn’t have been smart to stay outside on the street, someone could recognise him. 

So once he parked in front of the building and noticed Harry wasn’t home, he closed his eyes and took a breath after what felt like hours. The next time he opened them there was a hand taping on his windows, he had fallen asleep.

It was a big hand adorned with rings and some nail polish. Louis knew what it felt to hold it more than he knew his own face. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was waiting outside, a small smile making just one dimple appear. It was the first time they had seen each other in months but Louis felt like no time had passed. And if Louis was going to turn into an idiotic helpless cliche then it better be because of a boy as wonderful and beautiful as him. There was no one else. Harry was it. 

‘I thought it was going to take you longer ’

‘To listen to the album or to get my shit together? ’

Harry seemed to consider his answer for a second, the dramatic little shit that he was. Then he smiled and Louis forgave him immediately. 

‘Both’

Louis laughed and took a step closer to the love of his life. 

‘I’m sorry, baby, I'm really sorry ’

‘Me too’

‘If you let me kiss you right now I’m never letting you go again. It's your choice’

‘Never wanted you to go in the first place’

‘Right answer’

And then they kissed because there wasn't much left to say. At least not right now. The conversation could wait for the next morning, once they had sex, pancakes and maybe a little dance in the kitchen. For old times sake.

----

Soooo, I wrote this because I couldn’t get the idea of Louis writing this song out of my head. And like, it sounds so much like Harry’s writing, this is not a theory at all. But I liked the idea so yeah. It’s probably gonna be my first and only fic about Larry, hope you like it. 

All the mistakes are mine and its noy my first language, sorry if the grammar is trashy. Thanks.