#Like none of them had childhoods
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shinyboomboom · 1 month ago
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Imagining Dean with Laurel makes me heart sick because I know Dean loves kids, he's that guy who wants to pack up a minivan and go camping with his kids. OR AT LEAST HE WOULD BE. But I just know deep in my soul he absolutely does not trust himself around them. He is absolutely terrified of hurting people in general but a kid? Anyways he makes me sob.
But then I imagine Cassie with Laurel and it gets ten times worse because I know how much Cassie sacrificed for her. Like that line in twelve were she says she can't do the FBI training program because she'd be away from Laurel to long? DIABOLICAL! I know that's not the only reason but God the parentification that she was forced into was crazy. Add that with the guilt she must feel for how Laurel grew up combined with everything that happened in Bad Blood? Heartbreaking.
And then I imagine Laurel. Laurel who never had the mom Cassie had and certainly didn't have the same childhood. Laurel who looks at swings and sees the chains her mother used to be bound with. I see her looking at Cassie and seeing her mom, seeing the woman who always tried to protect her and recognizing that same quality in Cassie. I see her looking at Dean and recognizing that the same part of her that feels like a monster, that sees things she's not supposed to that isn't normal for girls her age and seeing that Dean sees those things to. Dean who reassures her that she isn't a monster, that she couldn't control how she grew up or what anyone in the cult did. Laurel who knows both these people love her because even though it's hard for them they say it to her. Even when she doesn't say it back. I see her escaping to their house where she has a special room just for her. Where she's always welcome when staying at Nonna's is to much. When everything there is far to normal and far to loud.
Then I imagine the Cassie and Dean healing in ways they never thought they could because of Laurel. Cassie taking her on sister dates every month to go get icecream, just like her mom used to do with her. Teaching Laurel the BPD's along the way. Dean eventually getting to do a camping extravaganza with her and all the naturals and he teaches Laurel how to make smores and doesn't judge her when she makes comments about fire she probably shouldn't. Then slowly but surely they all start to trust eachother until Laurel has Cassie, Dean, and Nonna with her for parent teacher confrences and suddenly they look around and realize maybe they've become a family along the way.
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I kind of like that both Phoenix and Larry's reaction to their friendship deteriorating and splintering was just to hold on to Edgeworth really, really hard.
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modern-inheritance · 11 months ago
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I can't stop thinking that the way MIC!Arya announces she and Firnen are at Ilirea to give Murtagh and Thorn a heads up is to do the mental equivalent of flicking crumpled pieces of straw wrapper at the back of his head.
Arya's childhood was certainly not the normal for elf children, not with the fall of the Riders occuring and having lasting effects, but she did have Fäolin to play with and spent a lot of time with him. The teasing and rough and tumble play that she got into with Fäolin and the continued 'raising' of her the Wolfcats did, combined with influences from Glaedr, Brom and Rhunön (Oromis was the most traditional of the bunch so he didn't contribute much to the more wild sides of Arya's personality and mannerisms) gave her this very rough around the edges, teasing, everyone is a kid brother when they need to be and everyone is a big brother when they need to be sort of vibe of dealing with younger peers once she battle bonded with them.
She knows that Murtagh's upbringing probably wasn't that great, and that he probably never had friends his own age that were real friends. So she just treats him like he's one of the Wolfcats from so long ago, would give him noogies if he were shorter, give him a hug if he let her, and if they were kids it would be just an immediate 'hi! can i see your room? YOU HAVE STAR CHARTS ON YOUR CEILING THATS SO COOL! AND A CHEMISTRY SET?!'
I just want Arya to give Murtagh a chance to experience that easy friendship.
oh god damn it.
Toph. Arya Toph style friendships him.
*Chucks laptop over shoulder*
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the-cookie-of-doom · 1 year ago
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At some point this afternoon, a knife-wielding child broke into the tower. He managed to subdue several guards by the time word got back to Kinn, who was - confused would be an understatement, in terms of how he felt about Chan's report.
"Who's kid is it?" he asks.
"We don't know, sir," Chan replies.
They're on the way to the child's last known location. Apparently he holed himself up in the residential wing, not far from Kinn's own rooms. Was this some kind of bizarre assassination attempt? That didn't make any sense. None of this made any sense.
When they reached the room, Kinn found it guarded by a host of bodyguards. Apparently they'd decided on a containment measure.
"He hasn't attempted to leave," reported one of the men. "He was demanding to see Khun Kinn, but it's been quiet for the last ten minutes, now."
"Are you sure he's still in there?" Chan asks, and the guard shifts, his guilty look an answer.
Kinn sighs.
"Alright, let's see the situation, then." He gestures for the door to be opened, and lets Chan enter first.
At first Kinn doesn't notice anyone in the room. It's empty; has probably been empty for years. Still, he waits for Chan to clear the room, a gun in his hands as he roots out every darkened corner where a feral child might be hiding.
They find him in the bedroom. Curled up on the ground between the bed and the wall, clutching his knees to his chest. He can't be more than twelve or thirteen. He looks sullen, and beneath that, scared. He looks like-
"... Kim?"
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br1ghtestlight · 8 months ago
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im always gonna be at risk of developing bipolar disorder bcuz both of my parents have it and mental health reasons But tbh i dont think i ever feel good enough to have manic episodes. like i know theyre horrible and dangerous etc but that is a level of happiness delusion and motivation i dont think i could achieve lmao thats whats saving me. just got regular depression i think (among other problems)
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mwagneto · 3 months ago
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i saw u on my timeldinr and rmemebededd you psoted smthn abt your horse toys normal (?) minds cannot comtpehend can you pelazeee post them. i wamt to see them soo bad i lie in bed at nighf anf do my mental walkthrougj of all the horses i have seen amd met and want amd i come to an empylty stable and yhink of youse
OMG HI!!!! i'm really sorry i hate posting pics to the internet it feels like im doxxing myself but i found pics on google of all the horse toys i was thinking abt when i made that post:-)
edit HOLY mother this took over an hour to write and became insanely long so a lot of it is under the cut but i hope you enjoy<3
so for context my parents used to pay for a monthly subscription to "póni klub" (pony club) which basically mailed you a box of horse things every month and a big box every year (if i remember correctly! im not sure, i only got like 3 or 4 of them in total coz they said it was too expensive 😔) which means i have like an extreme assortment of random things just from that and then there's all the stuff i got as presents or as a vásárfia (means like, "son of the market" it's basically when someone gets you a little thing from the market you're at just coz you're there, for me it also meant like, the grocery store we went to on a roadtrip)
the póni klub stuff is extremely diverse, i have two calendar-journal things (explained a bit better later), several episodes of heartland on dvd (which i dont think i ever watched), a scary as hell audiobook about a cursed tree ?? (there's a horse there also), a bunch of fantasy or y/a books about horses, stickers, keychains, erasers, anything you can imagine basically, and also a lot of little figurines
the one i was specifically thinking of when i made the post is a toyline called picipacik (c is pronounced like ts so it's like, cute to say, it means like, "tiny horsies") which came with a little personality card for each horse and also a disc to a pc game which i spent an hour trying to find before answering this ask LMAO but i got it, it was one of those collectible things but all the figurines have fur (the cards have fur too i almost forgot!!!) and they all have names and exist in the game too
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i got i think one of them from póniklub and bought the rest independently but i couldn't tell you, the póni klub calendar/journal/activity book thingies (they're really good btw they have like puzzles and jokes and informative articles in them too) are dated 2008 and 2012 so yknow. it's been. an insane amount of time. im shocked i even remember anything at all tbh but horse memories are forever i suppose
im gonna put a readmore coz this is getting way too long but ya finding my picipacik was what inspired the post but there's way more
idk if you know about the german horse figurine company schleich but every time we went to austria/germany (pretty often, long story) I'd see them on the shelf and I'd want one SOOO so fucking bad sooo bad but my parents were like no way they're way too expensive 😠 only for me to realise a few months ago they're literally 3-10 euros but WHATEVER i had a few of those coz I'd beg to get one every time i saw them, chief among them these 2 beasts. the pegasus has been on my shelf for as long as i've had the shelf and it's looking at me typing this and the skewbald horse is in the attic in my horse box but ok so looking these up they're selling for like hundreds of dollars on ebay which is insane coz they were DEFINITELY not even remotely that expensive or I wouldn't have gotten them. anyway they were absolute treasures coz of how much begging it took to get them and how much i liked them, i took them with me everywhere
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i also have these gorgeous little guys or well i only have the palomino but i have two of it but i played with them a crazy amount as a baby so they're really beat up, one of them lost his tail years before i developed the ability to retain memories but i cannot even begin to tell you just how soft and fluffy their manes are
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my BIGGEST obsession and the one i actually got to indulge in was filly ponies, they were really cheap and came in blind bags so that was the vásárfia i usually got on the aforementioned germany/austria trips, im not sure exactly how many i have but it has to be like at least 20 or 30? i dont have any full series coz they kept updating the generations really quickly so like every few months there'd be a whole new batch of them. I'd spend ages trying to look at the available horses on the back and trying to feel the blind bag and guess which one was inside and i was correct surprisingly often, I'd say like 70-80% of the time. and since they were really small well. i never shoplifted any unprompted but one time i found a bag someone had torn open and then left there, horse and all, and i didnt have the heart to leave it so i put it in my pocket. they also came w personality cards but i lost some of them and I wasn't brave enough to also pocket the personality card of the open one but given my tendency to lose things i own a surprising amount. they also came with big maps and catalogues so I'd cross out the ones i had and circle the ones i wanted, i still have the unicorn catalogue glued on my wall, that's the one i got the most of but im sure i have at least one of each kind, this is what the blind bags looked like but i also have one of the metal boxes
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there were loads in each series and uh, hm, huh, well, lmfao ?? always encouraging when something's wikipedia page has a lawsuits section. im a fillyhead forever i think crimes are ok. ALSO APPARENTLY THERE'S A TV SHOW??? DAMN. to me they'll always be fun little toys i collected when i was 5. love these guys so much if i had shelf space I'd display them. i used to have them displayed but alas i have too many items and things now also everything is always dusty. like i said the unicorns are the ones i have the most of and i only ever got a single blind bag from the crowned series but i spent ages feeling the bag to make sure i got jewel the big one in the middle and I DID!!!! getting a good grade in uh, feeling blind bags???
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anyway i hit the image limit but thank you so much for asking, i loove my little horse toys :-)) there's many more but they either dont have fun lore attached or they're just gen 2/gen 3/gen 4 my little pony toys or legos or lps or the horses that came with those wooden train sets so slightly less specific than the examples above but yeah i have a veritable museum of horse toys and plushies and so-on. i dont think I've gotten anything horse related either for myself or as a gift in MANY years (other than, yknow, horse riding stuff and then the actual living horse i had for a few beautiful years) which is honestly surprising given the sheer amount of horse stuff i got from age 0 to like, mid teens but i guess my inventory filled up or something
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What world do I live in that the entire n1njago fandom has decided that two people of the opposite gender who found each other in the world's turmoil and lived together in a home of their own making as best friends for years are found family and therefore sibling coded
They are main characters how aren't there a bunch of dudebros going to bat for it just because it's straight or whatever
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milfbrainrot · 5 months ago
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dire urgent situation caused it but i love ulraj using the medallion's powers to strike down argost, kinda showing what could happen if zak ever had a moment of weakness or a situation that would necessitate him using his own powers that way.
ulraj later says how he doesn't want the medallion back because "it's been proven unwise to leave so much power in the hands of one so young and inexperienced" and i am just sitting there like. well. ignore that the 11 year old standing next to you is the reincarnation of all powerful ancient evil.
but also zak does learn and grow so much throughout the series and he still makes mistakes but it is interesting to recontextualize that within where he is at the end, that it was better for HIM to have that power than argost, and the self sacrifice to make sure it never did happen, etc.
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I think that the owner of that store never trained me to check people out because she was committing tax fraud. I don't have any proof except for what in retrospect I realize are the tax fraudish vibes of everything she did
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noblest-roman-of-them-all · 6 months ago
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Contemplating the concept of "potential" when it comes to intelligence and realizing how heartbreaking Logan's "Dreams come true, that's news to me" line in the Crofters Musical.
#screaming into the void#definitely not okay today lads#i'm finding myself grieving my intelligence and contemplating if it was ever there to begin with#when i was younger i excelled in science so everyone assumed that i was a gifted kid despite my very obvious struggles in math and spelling#i was told over and over if i could just apply myself to other subjects the way i did with science#then i would do better in those subjects and reach my full potential#my identity was hung on my intelligence for me by the adults in my life none of them even considering a learning disability#now as an adult it all feels meaningless#especially having been forced into going to college where it was made very quickly and abundantly clear that I wasn't actually gifted#i was just average#that was absolutely devastating to me and it's a thing i struggle with and i want to be angry about it but i dont know how to be#i was told over and over in childhood that i could be anything when i grew up that i could do anything if i just put my mind to it#then recieved little to no actual educational support for any of it especially when i discovered writing#and i dont know if i was never as smart as i was told i was or never even had the potential i was told i had#or if i just didnt have enough support#i dont believe in myself anymore and i dont think i was ever actually believed in by the adults in my life either#i think they would have supported me better if they had#or maybe they just didnt know how to#my dad has wondered and questioned me about where my drive ans passion went and i dont have the heart to tell him that#it evaporated when he told me i wouldn't be successful as a writer when he told me that i would only be successful by going to college#when he constantly questioned everything i did and made me doubt myself over and over again#i dont know how to combat this feeling of worthlessness that comes from feeling lied to about my intelligence as a kid#i dont know how to comfort myself in the face of realizing i probably didnt have all then potential i was promised i had#and even if i did at one point have it i lacked the support necessary to nuture and grow it#how does one grieve being promised the world only to find out that was never truly an option?#how does one become comfortable with learning and growing again when it's been made to feel unsafe#and a threat to their frail sense of identity?#how does one find peace and contentment in an ordinary life when they were promised so much more?#not just promised so much more but expected to be so much more and now feel the weight of expectation on them?#i feel like i was promised the world and told that it would be easy to conquer and when it wasnt it was due to my own fault and failings
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netflixofficial · 9 months ago
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all my problems would be solved if i just disappeared into the swamp and cut off all connection to my prior life. and yet
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acaesic · 11 months ago
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i really want to finish all my unfinished art before i turn 15 but im so burnt out rn 😭 </3
#i have two days#including this one#i wanna draw#but also i fucking hate drawing#but i love drawing but i HAT EIT AND ITS THE WORST AAAAAUUGGGHHHHHHHHH#mostly because i just wanna feel like less of a failure in some way#art for me is about 50% passion and 50% a crippling desire to prove that im not useless and an idiot#so because of the lack of stability there i always end up with a dozen unfinished art projects#when i cant live up to my own expectations i give up#i think this is me still clinging to my childhood in a way#i always wanted to be a child prodigy but i never had talent or skill in anything#so now that im rapidly getting further and further from childhood i feel a desperate need to prove that im not worthless#its like#my 15th birthday feels to me like how jonathan larson did about his 30th. is that fucked up to say ..#aaaaaaaaaaa :’) i want to finish all the art i promised but i genuinely just. cant#chase said something alright#sigh. i have ideas#im plagued with visions but i have none of the time#i want to draw patrick and pete#i want to draw the cast of community all smiling and stuff. because i love and adore all of them#id like to finish my vampire dallon art but im So Bad at shading without reference#i so desperately want to just share my art and feel okay but I CANT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHH#IVE MADE SO MANY EMPTY PROMISES ABOUT FINISHING ART AND SHARING ART AND AND AND FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#someone tell me im not useless#<- dont do that im responsible for my own happiness#anyway UM. sorry if you opened this#you know what. in spite of everything i didnt do at least um. uhhhhhhhh#i won a 3ft tall shadow the hedgehog plushie at a carnival.
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autisticlee · 2 years ago
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I always see autistic people say they either mask really well, or they can't mask at all so they never did.
where are my autistics who tried really hard to mask growing up, wasted so much time and energy doing it, but realized it was completely pointless when you got older because you were awful at it and it never worked once in your life. you were visibly autistic to everyone and played pretend alone for no reason 🥹 all in attempt to please people and get them to stop harassing, bullying, and punishing you for being "too weird/quiet/boring/awkward/scary/etc"
basically, you don't fit in either side of the perspective. you relate to both sides. you experienced the deep exhaustion caused by masking, but you experienced the harassment and unfair treatment caused by not masking. with the added trauma of the mask not working so you're exhausted from the effort and getting bullied still on top of it.
bonus points if all that wasted time attempting to mask, and failing, led to you not being able to form your own self/personality and you have no clue who the hell you are now as an adult. maybe you gave up masking once you realized it did nothing to help and only made things worse. so now you're an empty pile of masks that don't fit and there's nothing inside 😔
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autism-disco · 1 year ago
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ok. do i make the mii sona for the mii sideblog not yet made look like me (pale anxious guy with lots of brown hair) or one of the miis i made when i first played miitopia (pale anxious guy with lots of pink hair and glasses(?))
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago
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oh my god am i so fucking tired
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chiisana-lion · 2 years ago
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^ had to look at their old classmates' and childhood friends' graduation pics and celebrations and whatnot
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