#Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet

Chapter 29: Perfect Imperfections

Summary- 7.1k Curtis Everett x Plus!Sized Reader. You are caught by surprise in a personal moment and old insecurities pop up. Curtis makes it his mission to reassure you, making you feel ready to try something you have never allowed before.

Warnings- Body insecurity, mentions of scars, oral, fingering, P in V, this is an 18+ Only Blog.

A/N- Big thank you to everyone who comments and reblogs this series. Reading your thoughts about them helps me continue their story. It means so damn much to me. Special thank you to @mumbles411 for giving this a read through. Dividers made by the talented @firefly-graphics. The Curtis edit was made a year or two ago for me by the talented @nixakimbo. Nix, again Thank You so much for making this piece for me. I am so glad to use it in one of my favorite chapters. Happy Reading Everyone.

Chapter Twenty-Eight / Masterlist

The gym became your outlet for so many reasons. You relished in the feeling of power you got when you grew stronger, no longer getting winded by the workout you set for yourself, feeling that you could go further and do more in the weeks that followed. 

But some things had not yet changed and frankly, you didn’t force it when you didn’t have to. Taking a shower in the gym wasn’t something you were keen on. You liked to take your time in the act and had a set routine to take care of your body, it just made more sense to you to return to Curtis’s house, which was a quick drive. 

Returning after one of those times, you made your way inside the empty house, the clock over the kitchen sink letting you know that Curtis would be home shortly. You wanted to at least be out of the tub by the time he got home, now that winter was giving way to spring, he was coming home dirtier and you didn’t want to make him wait for his turn.

You didn’t have any complaints, finding the mud that would streak his clothes and the dried dust that would smudge his face kind of attractive, in a very masculine rugged way you couldn’t deny yourself. But he made it a point to clean himself up after getting done for the day, a reset for the evening. You could respect that even though you simply found him hot as fuck when he was all dirty. 

The meow from Binx drew your attention, your black kitten weaving around your ankles and stretching himself up to be picked up. You let your bags settle in a heap on the table, content to go through them after your shower. 

Your very hot shower, you smiled to yourself as the slight workout ache made you groan while reaching down to scoop Binx into your arms and start for the stairs. “You gonna help me get the shower ready?” You asked him as you buried your nose into the soft fur of his neck, loving the immediate sensation of his purrs going through you. Upstairs, you let him go onto the bed and started to strip out of your workout clothes, tossing them towards the hamper tucked into the bedroom corner. 

Binx was quick to bound across the bed and saunter into the bathroom after you, tail flicking with interest at what you were doing. Once he heard the water in the tub start, the black kitten was scrambling up to the tub and inspecting over the edge. “Careful Binx, you won’t like falling into that.” You hummed while finding the soap you wanted to use from under the sink. 

He meowed rather loudly in that squeaky kitten tone and shot off for the bedroom, leaving you to finish up on your own. Once the bathroom steamed up and you got the temperature where you wanted, you took your first blissed-out sigh as you got under the hot water. 

Curtis often complained about his water pressure not being strong enough. But right now with it beating down on your shoulders and back while you scrubbed your fingers through your hair, it felt like heaven. 

After a decent amount of time, a lot of you just were you enjoying the hot water, and you finally decided it was time to get out. Especially since you wanted to make sure Curtis would have plenty of hot water. The house was still quiet while you dried yourself off and fit the oversized bath towel around you. Another perk of showering at Curtis’s house, his towels were all huge, making even you feel small using them.

You set about your routine. Skincare products are laid out for you to grab as you need them. It was rhythmic, the motion of rubbing this or that into your skin, to prevent breakouts, chafing, and treat any place irritated from your workouts. 

The other reason you didn't want to shower in the gym, all of this took time and in the sanctuary of Curtis’s master bedroom, it felt allowed. Especially without anyone here, you didn’t need to rush and slip clothes back on to cover yourself from anyone. 

You were so lost in the act of it, your mind drifting as you continued your routine that you never noticed Curtis standing in his doorway, watching you. At the same time, you lifted one leg up on the bed, heel pressing at the edge to spread your thighs and rub some anti-chafing lotion into your inner thigh. 

Not until he softly said your name and gave a knock on the doorframe to catch your attention, making your bottle clack to the wooden floor, the sound loud to you and almost damning to have been caught with it while your leg dropped back to the floor. “Curtis! I didn’t hear you come home.” 

You tried to grab at the bottle quickly, heat rising up your neck and burning your cheeks, but your foot kicked it over towards Curtis, right where you didn’t want it to be. You didn’t want him to see the bottle; Anti chafing cream because your thighs were thick and rubbed together. 

If you were normal, your thighs wouldn't swallow everything like that. Jake's sneering voice cut through everything while Curtis swept down to grasp the bottle for you, his happy to be home smile fizzled out when he saw the distress on your face. “Honey? Baby, what's wrong?” The stretch marks, the scars from past chafing, and the fact he caught you like this when you weren’t ready to be that kind of vulnerable made you snatch the bottle and tuck it with the other things on the bed. 

“You surprised me.” You said quickly, still feeling the shameful heat in your cheeks and your fingers clutching at the towel to tighten it around you, hiding what you were doing. “I-I was… I am…” You stuttered, unsure of what to even say at this moment to come back from it all while your chin dropped towards your chest, averting your eyes from him. Curtis squatted in front of you, a hand reaching up to brush along your face, fingertips calloused yet gentle while he nudged a finger under your chin to lift your head enough to look at him, sure enough, his crystal blue eyes were sharp in a concerned way, searching yours for that answer you were unable to give him. 

“If I scared you, I’m sorry. I thought you heard me coming up the stairs.” He said earnestly and you didn’t have it in you to let him think that he did something to make you react this way when it was your insecurity doing it. 

“You didn’t, I swear.” You whispered and finally, you let it spill from you, what was even the point in trying to keep it from him. It wasn’t like Curtis didn’t know you had thick thighs, he touched them just about every day you two were with each other. “I didn’t want you to see… this.” Your hand waved at your products and he gave a confused glance towards them. 

“Why wouldn’t you?” His hands fell to the side of your thighs, rubbing up and down them reassuringly. “You are just taking care of yourself?” 

“When you put it like that.” the tip of your nose wrinkled, now feeling like you over reacted about this and why were you like this? Curtis let his hands scoop under your thighs, grabbing them slightly and sliding you closer to the edge of the bed. 

“Give me the bottle you were using before Honey.” He instructed and you did, reaching over to grab it for him while he spread your thighs apart, ignoring the quiver in them. His hands were warm and gentle in the way he touched you, lovingly. There wasn’t any sign of disgust in his features at the small marks scattering the inside of them. Your heart raced in a flutter, it was still late afternoon and Curtis was kneeling in front of your mostly naked body, able to see all of you. 

“You know what is one of the things I love about you, Honey?” He said as he shook the contents of the bottle into one of his hands, rubbing it between his palms till it warmed up. “Is how you take care of yourself. The selfish part likes to think that it's for me, but I know it's for you Pretty Girl.” His hands smoothed up the inside, rubbing the cream into your skin in a slow pattern. “That you take the time and effort to do this so you don’t hurt, so you feel good. It shows Honey, you glow and I get lucky enough to see it.” 

You couldn’t hide your small smile, giving a little shrug. “Maybe some of it is for you Curtis.” 

A devilish grin made his features light up, his eyes twinkling mischievously and his serious demeanor gone. “I fucking scored dating you.” His mouth descended to between your thighs, kissing them generously while you broke out in giggles, brushing your hand over his buzz cut, relishing in the feel of him.  

“I don’t know about that Curtis, I tear through all my jeans and leggings, my shorts get gobbled up and no matter what I do, they will always rub together.” 

His voice was muffled when he swore against your thigh, pushing up to surge upwards, pushing you back into the bed while he loomed over you, his hands planted on the mattress, holding himself up enough to not dirty up the bedding you were sprawled on. “I will buy you new jeans and leggings every time you need a new pair.” He swore in between affectionate kisses on your mouth, some of them quick and others slow with teases of tongue dragging out a moan from you. “I don't know why you are so concerned about your thighs pressing together Honey, I have no issue spreading them for you.” 

You gasped up at him as he took his reward for your surprise, this kiss heated so you had to clutch at him to keep the swarming of your senses from making you forget how to respond. When he finally pulled away for you to breathe, you gasped slightly. “You’re a fucking menace.” 

“All yours I’m afraid.” Curtis teased with a wink, but he softened from continuing to tease you. “How do you feel like going out after I shower? We can go get some dinner and then go play some pool if you don't feel tired from your day?” 

You seemed to give it some thought but pushed slightly with your hands against his chest for him to lift himself away, letting you sit up with him. “Just us or did you want to see if the others want to come?” 

“Just us tonight Pretty Girl, I don’t feel like sharing you.”

It was late, both of you spent tangled around one another, sweaty and panting when you twisted to face Curtis, exhaustion finally catching up to both of you between muttered hushed tones checking in with one another before either of you fell asleep. 

You were lying with your head on his chest, after Curtis cleaned you both up, calm and completely relaxed. His heart was a very steady thump under your cheek while everything else in the dark bedroom had gone silent. 

You were on the verge, his hand splayed against the back of your thigh hooked around his hip where he dragged you against him once he laid back down. His fingers were tracing small soothing patterns against your skin that made you feel even sleepier than before. “When we first started dating, I was very self-conscious of my hands Honey.” He spoke softly above you, making you tilt your face up to peek up at him. “They were so rough and you looked so soft, I didn’t want them to feel bad when I would finally get to touch you. No matter how much-working hands lotions I use, they will never soften.”

You sought for his hand, pushing your fingers through his own. It felt strong in your hold, warm and secure. The roughness he had built up over the years of hard work always sent tingles through you. “What made you even think that?” You questioned as you never thought of his touch being able to hurt you, he never gave you a reason to consider it. 

“Another person told me my hands felt like sandpaper on them. It stayed with me for a long time. When we first met, it was one of those things that was always at the back of my mind.” Curtis confessed as you kept a hold of his hand in yours. 

“I don’t think that Curtis, I love feeling your hands on me.” You resettled his hand where it was before. “Don’t ever stop.” You whispered against his chest. It was quiet for a few more moments, it wasn’t lost on you why he told you, since you never would have known otherwise he was ever self-conscious. “I love you, Curtis, just as you are.” 

Being able to say that, still made flutters in your belly while he reminded you that he too loved you. 

The week came flying in, it had been several days since Curtis had walked in on you after your shower. Since that night, you both had been so busy that there were just passing moments of catching up about one another's day and crashing, either at your apartment or at his house. 

Tonight you were at your apartment, needing to tackle your next semester of teaching, the last one of the year. All the stuff you needed was there and it was easier to set up your whiteboard to plan everything out. 

Curtis didn’t mind, making himself right at home, cooking dinner for the both of you, and after pulling you away from your project, insisting you take a break after you were starting to get frustrated, you curled up on the love seat couch next to him, grateful one of you knew when to take a break and stream a random movie, take your mind off what you still needed to do. 

Ending the night found you standing at your dresser, thinking back on the week's events. You glimpsed over your shoulder at Curtis, stretched in your bed, a book he brought with him in his lap while he read from it, the occasional turn of his page as he consumed another chapter. Never had you thought you would be here, eight months into this relationship, and the two of you were still going strong, in so many ways better than you ever were with Jake, who you were with for years. 

You were lucky to have met Curtis, to have found each other again at Paulie’s. The both of you grew in so many ways, figuring out how to be what the other one needed. 

You loved who you were becoming now, happier was what Jade had told you. You were happier and more confident in your new life with these people who had become as close as family. Curtis glanced up over his book, blue eyes roaming over you as you took your clothes off, one by one. 

You knew he was waiting for you to flick the overhead lights off, let the soft glow of the lamps by the bed be the only source in the room as you finished undressing. It was enough to read by, but not enough to keep the rest of the room lit. You were still notorious for wanting to hide your body, this body that he loved so much that it still took your breath away how he could love it when you judged it so harshly. 

Maybe it was time to try loving it just as much. 

You heard the rustle of sheets behind you, where he pulled down your side of the bed, all while you ticked away the seconds in your head, how he was going to give a look of surprise at you and that questioning look before heat would blaze across his features, the sharp inhale that would expand his chest and a flush of pink would start its way up his body in his arousal. He always looked so fucking good, it made your heart pick up in anticipation and tingles tickle their way down your spine, prickling your skin as you shed the last of your clothes. 

With all the lights still on. 

Your arms went defensively over your chest for a moment, old habits making you try to hide yourself, but you dropped them and turned to face Curtis, the big old bed seemingly beckoning you. “Hey Pretty Girl.” His tone dropped with interest as you took those steps closer, trying not to chicken out. You crawled onto the end of the bed, working your way up. Curtis ditched his book on the nightstand quickly as you settled into his lap, his hands unable to stop from touching you, gliding up your thighs to the curve of your waist to pull you in closer towards him. “Honey, I dreamt of the day you kept the lights on.” 

His hands, so warm and gliding on you, smoothing to your back and up to the back of your neck where he squeezed lightly while drawing you into his space, his lips finding yours. You hummed into the kiss, teasing the plushness of his bottom lip with your tongue. When he lets you ease back, your hands tugging up his shirt to run your fingers through the soft mat of dark hair over his chest. “You thought about this?”  

“Pretty Girl, since I laid eyes on you, I thought about having you like this.” He arched himself under you, even between the blankets you could feel his cock starting to harden. Curtis couldn’t stop touching you, it was making you feel heavy and wanting for more as he explored with his palms, efficiently distracting you from your usual nerves. Possessive touches sweeping over your belly where his hand pressed against the softness and up to cup your breast into a palm, thumb teasing your nipple slowly, taking his time. 

“I want to try tonight…” You tugged at the shirt he wore, making him lean forward off the headboard to tug it off him. “Lights on.” 

“Honey, whatever you want to try, I’m with you.” A touch pressed against your chin, making you turn your gaze to meet his. “Your fucking beautiful, sexy as fuck, and drive me crazy Honey. I can’t wait to make you come for me.” His eyes couldn’t stop roaming over you. “We’ve never used a safe word before but if you need to stop just say wasp if at any point it’s not what you want anymore.” You nodded to confirm but it wasn’t enough for him. “Repeat it for me, Honey.” 

“Wasp” You repeated while nuzzling lightly against his hand, craving all the touches he was giving you. 

“Fuck you’re such a good girl Honey, and mine… all fucking mine.” He groaned out in appreciation. You nodded as you wiggled a bit in his lap, knowing he was looking you over, taking in his fill of you bare to him. Your thighs clasped against his side, not with the urge to close them from his view, but with the desire to ride him like this, leverage yourself to grind against him “I still can’t believe you chose me.” He licked his lips while gliding a hand between your thighs, past the curls of hair and gliding to your glistening folds. Your gasp was his reward, making him break out in a grin while he rubbed around your clit, never quite touching you there, but so close. “I love how just touching you turns you on for me Pretty Girl, you are so responsive for me.” 

It was true, anticipation for this crested into want and you did your own exploring. Taking in his wide chest and broad shoulders, each tattoo he had inked on him temptations to be kissed and nipped at, Before you could even do that, he was leaning your chest towards his mouth, kissing over the curve of your breasts and teasing a nipple into his mouth. 

The pull and tug shot straight to your pussy, the sensations he was making between his mouth and fingers making you whine out his name. 

“Say it again.” He made a rumbling noise against your chest, in your growing desperation you started to grind against his lap, the blankets starting to get twisted in between your thighs. “Who's making you this needy?”  

“Curtis.” You grabbed onto his shoulders, using it to leverage yourself harder. 

“What do you want, Pretty Girl?” His tongue lavished up your collarbone to suck on your neck, pulling even more desperate noises from you. “Words baby, lemme hear you.” His fingers continued driving you mad, never quite touching you where you wanted, drawing it out while you tried grinding against his digits. 

“Fuck Curtis, I want you.” 

Another nip behind your ear at the pulsing point made you wriggle closer, seeking more of him. “Fingers, tongue or cock Pretty Girl?” 

“Fingers…” Your mouth found his neck, the biting shag of his beard burning you as you worked your way to the flexing tendons of his neck “Tongue.” You whined with impatience while you clamped on, making him hiss against you, his fingers rubbing between your folds swirling on your clit, shooting a rush of pleasure to your nerves. “Cock… just something.” 

“Greedy girl.” Curtis said at the hinge of your jaw, grabbing a hold of your hip to still you while a finger stretched into you, after a few pumps, he added another which felt so good, your pussy wanting that feeling of him. “Gripping me so good Pretty Girl.” He grunted against you while loping an arm around you to press you into his chest, half hugging you while fingering you. Your nails dug into his chest, burying your face in against his neck with little pants while your pussy clenched. “Gonna have to make you come with all three for me. Leave you ruined in this bed.” Curtis growled into your ear, his promise like a dark seduction that you desperately wanted. 

Curtis knew just how you liked to be touched, the steady strokes curling in you as you just got wetter, your arousal warm as it slicked onto his hand, palm grinding against you and coating the inside of your thighs. You started arching and sinking into his touch, chasing that desperation growing in your clenching core. “Oh god yes.” You muttered into him, fitting against him like you belonged. Your face buried in his neck where his masculine smell you could only distinguish as his was making your head go fuzzy. 

“Come on Pretty Girl, you know God ain’t making you feel this good.” A third finger stretched you further, and the burn of it mixed with the pleasure already built in you made you jolt, rocking your hips up to arch above him with a louder cry into the room. “Fuck.” Curtis groaned, watching you take over, your movements precise to bring you to the edge. His free hand slid up the center of your body, wrapping a hand around the front of your neck to squeeze lightly. 

The rush his fingers tightening against the sides of your neck gave you. Grabbing a hold of his wrist, you let your gaze lower to see him under you. He might be holding you, bringing your pleasure rushing to take you over, but the way he was looking at you made you feel powerful. The black of his pupils is so wide that slivers of icy blue take you all in as his. It was a combination that made your pussy gush, tightening around all his fingers stuffed in you while your body seized in your first promised orgasm. 

“Thatta girl, gush all over me Pretty Girl.” His graveled voice taking a hint of command to it, licking his lips as his fingers kept fucking into you, drawing out your pleasure. Your gasps lifted your chest, catching his attention again to press his mouth between your breasts, sucking skin and sharp touches of his teeth mixing with the warmth of his tongue tasting you. “So fucking good Pretty Girl, so good for me everytime.” His fingers withdrew, and you missed it. 

No fullness to sooth your clenching core, you were about to protest, beg for him to touch you again when his slick covered fingers pushed against your lips. 

Your eyes rolled back at the act, sucking them into your mouth so you could suck him clean while he pulled his fingers back out, Underneath you could feel Curtis throbbing, his hips raising enough to push against you and his hand tightened a fraction around your throat, dragging your face to his. “No one knows do they? what my Honey can do with her mouth.” His tongue trailed up your chin, over your lips, his tongue filling your mouth, stroking against yours till you were moaning, arching and pressing against his hand at your throat, making you feel floaty. His mouth quirked a bit at the sight of you. 

You were magnificent in his lap, your little whimpers and moans going straight to his cock, you withering in his lap just growing needier for him. “How you can swallow my cock like a good girl.” You hummed in agreement, your hand wrapping around his wrist near your throat as you continued grinding in his lap.

“Love swallowing your cock Curtis.” Your breathy hazy voice hinting on a plea. “Wanna right now.” 

“Mmhh, I know Pretty Girl. But that's not what we are doing at the moment.” He chuckled at your pout, pulling you back to his mouth to kiss you breathless before flipping you onto your back, making your cry of surprise sharp in the bedroom “You told me fingers, mouth, cock.” Looming over you, his hands traced your hips, wide palms curving around them and sharp white teeth tugged at his bottom lip while scanning his heated gaze over you. Curtis looked hungry and possessive of you at this moment, making you feel the smallest you probably ever have. A whimper escaped you and his features flickered momentarily to your face, mouthing your safe word to you. 

His reminder that you had it if you needed it. 

With ease, Curtis had you turn to your belly, shifting over you so he was stretched to cover your back, humming at the feeling of you wriggling into a comfortable place on the mattress. He ground his cock against your ass while kissing across your shoulders, his voice a groan as he pressed his mouth down the center of your back slowly, like he was worshiping whatever skin he could get his mouth on. “Raise that sweet ass Honey.” His weight pulled away and you tensed, glancing over your shoulder at him settling on his knees at the end of the bed, and grabbing at your full waist, pulling you down towards him. “Knees underneath you Pretty Girl.” 

Which you did, arching yourself up to show off your glistening folds and hiding your face in your arms as nerves started to take over. Even Curtis groaning in appreciation as he drew his knuckle up the slit of you couldn’t stop the hint of intrusive thoughts. You kept trying to peep over your shoulder at him, sensing him just behind you while his hands framed you with his fingers digging into the folds on your hips. 

What was admiring for him turned to worry for you, your eyes growing almost frantic and a shudder raced up your body while you imagined yourself through his gaze, the way your skin sagged and folded, it made shame blossom in your chest painfully, dulling your arousal in the moment.

Say your word Y/N, you can stop this before he pushes you away.

Before you even had a chance to let those thoughts take control, Curtis leaned over you to catch your jaw in his hold and tilt your head enough for him to press a kiss at the hinge. “I know you're worried Honey that I’m going to see you and hurt you. I am not those assholes, I love seeing you like this, trusting me like this.” Another kiss to the hinge of your jaw. “That you are dripping down your thighs by how turned on you are.” His fingers filled you again, pulling out more moans and whimpers from you suddenly. “You are so fucking beautiful like this that it's taking everything in me not to split you open on my cock, fill you so full of my cum so you can’t doubt how I feel about you.” He stroked against your g-spot, making you wriggle as heat spiraled up your spine. “First you gotta cum on my tongue, cause I know how damn sweet you taste and I just wanna bury my face between your thighs for the rest of my life. I have never been more attracted to anyone like I am to you.” 

You eeped in protest when he pulled his touch away before you came again, dropping your face into the bedding to hide yourself but Curtis pressed his fingers into your hair to grip at the back of your head and easily lifted your face from the crook of your arms. “No hiding from me Pretty Girl, not tonight.”

It was like he knew the right things to say, his words settling deeper than any of those doubts possibly could, latching onto what he said, you complied, wanting him to continue making your body weep for him. “Fuck, this pretty pussy is glistening Honey, dripping your sweetness.” He dropped to the floor behind you, his face level with your most intimate spot. Fingers pried your folds apart, showing you off to him. His scruff landed first on your inner thigh, his tongue dragging up your shaking thighs, anticipation growing in your chest till you were panting. 

“My heart is racing.” You confessed while glancing over your shoulder to see where he was. Curtis glanced at you, smirking a bit while spreading your thighs wider apart, pressing a hand against the curve in your back to make you arch all that much more. 

“Nerves or Lust, Pretty Girl?” He inquired while palming your ass hard, spreading you apart while groaning, his eyes dropping once more to your pussy. Heat flared through you, mixed with straight up nerves that your traitorous brain was screaming at you to hide, a shiver raced through you to keep yourself still for him. 

“Both. I can’t shut up my head.” 

Curtis rumbled behind you, kissing the back of your thighs with a tenderness that you weren’t expecting in the moment. Your head dropped again to your folded arms to take a deep breath. “Honey, listen to me. I am barely keeping it together not to fuck you into this mattress right now. I love you and I want to do the filthiest things to you, make you scream my name and come on my cock so many times that our sheets will be fucking soaked. I promise I am gonna do that, all while enjoying every last inch of your body because its a fucking masterpiece I want to posses” 

That made you squirm, his words taking up the noise in your mind. A slight sharp bite to your ass cheek made you cry out for a moment, the shock of not knowing what he was gonna do making you more on edge. 

When his tongue finally flattened against your core, it was a maddening relief cause it felt so good, your hands gripped the sheets. Again he did it, this time with more pressure, teasing against your opening before sliding down to your clit. 

It was the feeling you had been craving, but it didn't nearly compare to when he claimed your clit, that little bundle of nerves being sucked on made you jump, as if to pull away. His hand steadied against your back, arching your back down in a firm touch. “Where do you think you are gonna go, Pretty Girl?” His head dipped between your thighs and plunged his tongue in between your folds once more. “Fuck, I’m not close to done with you.” 

“Curtis.” You moaned his name out, it was the only thing that could escape you at the moment. “Yes more.” 

He curled his tongue into you, clenching around his head with your thighs, he spread you apart again while he lapped at you. “Feels good doesn't it Pretty Girl, this cunt squeezing for more.” Sucking on your clit again, his tongue flicking the sensitive nerve driving you to scream his name while fighting against his hold to snap your legs shut against his head again. 

Curtis felt you tensing, about to come for him when he pulled back. A frustrated gasp escaped you as you looked over your shoulder, glaring at him. There you were, you were out of that negative place in your mind, now focused on what he was doing to you, how he was making you feel. 

Just as it should be. 

“Curtis!” You sputtered with a slight wiggle to your hips. “I was so close.” 

“Mmmh… you were.” His hands rubbed the back of your thighs before digging into them with his fingers to spread them wide again. “But I wasn’t ready for you to end.” 

“This has to be some kind of torture.” You groaned with a drop of your head into your arms, making him bust into a deep chested laugh. 

“Some people like this kink.” He slid his hand in between your thighs, cupping your mound and sliding his fingers into you, groaning when he saw you clenching around his fingers. He stroked just right, making your earlier rush rise back up fiercer than before. Although you kept the arch in your back and your frustrated little huffs muffled, your ass wiggled enticing him to finish you. 

Again his touch pulled away, only to be replaced by his mouth again, tongue plunging into your sensitive core to entice you to give into him. 

“Please?” You gasped loudly, pushing yourself back to grind against him, his tongue flicking through your folds, his groan followed by a curse of how good you were. 

“I don’t know Pretty Girl, kinda like you like this.” He hummed as his cheek brushed against your tender inner thigh, causing them to shiver. You were gonna be raw after this. “All open and turning into a beautiful mess in bed.” 

You hid your smile, feeling his praise rush through you like a whole other sensation adding to everything else. It was a warm desire that flooded all your excitement. It spiraled heat down your spine and made you tighten, the rush overcoming you till you sighed into letting go. 

“Fuck look at you gush Honey.” His tongue is heavy against all your sensitive spots, making you squirm in your bent position. 

There was a grunt behind you while you twisted just enough to look over your shoulder at him. He had moved to a stand, your eyes widening at how ready his cock looked, hard and demanding, as if he knew you were staring at him, it twitched when his large hand wrapped around himself stroking his soaked fingers up and down himself. 

Curtis was always going on about how beautiful you were, but he himself was a sight to behold. Powerful body with the light dusting of hair covering his chest, everything taunt with need and desire. His gaze was darkened with lust as he looked at you offering yourself to him. 

That just made you renew your arch. 

“Now what's going through your head?” His hands covered your ass, a warm passionate caress.  

“That I want you to fuck me… I need you to fuck me.” You wriggled in his hold, his palm lightly coming down on your ass, enough to make you gasp wanting another one. 

“Need to be filled with cock? Is that what this is all about?” He let his cock head slip through your folds, rutting along you till he bumped against your clit. 

And it felt so good. 

“Come on Pretty Girl, you gotta answer me. You had my fingers and my mouth, you want my cock now?” 

He was absolutely maddening, making you hide your face as he called you out. Yes, you had those, but you still wanted this too. Tonight you wanted him to take you without you hiding yourself. “Yes.” 

“Mmmh you can do better than that Pretty Girl.” He thrusted through your folds again, not quite getting you exactly what you wanted, but it still felt so good. His hands curled through your hair, lifting your head while he nipped at your jaw, pressing his lips to your ear and groaning as your slick coated him. 

“Please? Curtis fill me.” 

Another angle had him sliding into you, fully so you felt him deep, the gasp escaping you. “I love you Honey.” he let his face fall to your shoulder, his arm shooting out to hold himself up as he curved over your back. His fisted hand twisted in your hair till you had to turn your head to give into the pressure, giving him all the room to tease your neck, especially at the pulse starting to race with each snap of his hip against your ass, making you jolt forward. “So fucking much Baby. Do you feel how deep I am?” His cock made you feel full, and his movements just drove him harder into you, you nodded as much as his tight hold allowed. His forward push drives you into the mattress. “Never want to leave you, not when I know you're made for me Honey.” 

“Oh god Curtis.” You whined, your cunt fluttering around his cock. 

You felt the press of his lips against you, his hips snapping faster to jolt you into the mattress. You grabbed onto the sheets to keep yourself from moving. His kisses were so gentle compared to the rest of him pressing against you, his weight crashing over you while he drove into you, leaving you feeling him all over. 

It was almost overwhelming in every way that made you feel good. 

Secure. 

Wanted. 

Your moans started to turn into sobs needing some relief as Curtis muttered to you, caging you in further between him and the bed. “I know Honey, I feel it too. Your just pulling me back in and fuck.” He hissed, his chest crashing to your back when he stopped holding himself up, but freeing his hand to glide underneath you. 

You wriggled underneath him when his fingers found your clit, twisting against it till you were ready to give in. A rush of energy locked you, riding a high so good as you cried Curtis’s name. 

“That’s my girl, fuck give it to me.” His thrusts grew erratic and hard, grabbing your waist to hold you still. “So fucking good Honey, making a mess all over me.” 

You were good, he made you feel good. You hoped he would get the same from you, even though now you were floating in an orgasmic haze. 

You managed to reach behind you and find his hand, tugging it till your fingers wrapped with yours. “Your turn Curtis.” You squeezed, tugging on him till he stretched out over you, his forehead leaning against your shoulder while his last few slap of his hips were pushing him to join you. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You heard him grunt, and then a sharp roar while warmth flooded you. 

Your eyes closed out the bright bedroom lights as you finally sank into bliss, Curtis wrapping his arms around you and holding you against him like you were about to go somewhere. 

Which you certainly weren't, right now you couldn't fathom being able to move a muscle and you were pinned beneath him. 

Curtis wasn’t a small man, he firmly held you in place without even trying. He did shift against you though, kissing your shoulder while he pulled his sweaty body off of yours. 

You hated his pulling out, you always felt empty after. 

“Be right back.” He lightly skimmed his lips against your cheek while you hummed an okay at him. Curtling up a bit as the bed shifted with his movements. There was some noise in the room, but it wasn't long till Curtis was hovering over you, gently brushing your hair aside so he could see your face. “Honey, Pretty Girl you gotta get up.” 

How dare he make you move. “Don’t wanna.” You grumbled a bit, and he scooped in behind you, tugging you against his chest. 

“You gotta go get cleaned up Honey and I gotta fix our bedding… we made a mess.” 

Your eyes widened in surprise. 

Indeed you two had left a wet spot on the sheets. You were about to cover your face in embarrassment, not even realizing when he said make a mess all over me, you actually were. He was quicker though, grabbing your hands in his own and keeping a hold on you. “Dont be embarrassed Honey, it was so fucking hot having you from behind like that.” 

“I didn’t know we got so carried away.” You admitted, turning your face into his to share a kiss finally, one he made sure went slow and sensual, passing soft sighs between each other. 

“That’s how we know it's good.” He winked, slowly letting you go now that he thought you weren’t gonna close up. He let his touch glide down to circle your waist, hugging you back against him for a few more minutes. “Next time I will lay down another blanket for us though.” 

That made you laugh a bit, finally stirring enough to sit up and make your way to the edge of the bed to prepare to go get cleaned up. “If you're planning on ruining me again like that, yes.” 

“Hey, I do believe you asked for it.” He caught up to you as you stood up, tugging you back into his lap so he could press teasing kisses on your neck, muttering. “Although I was one hundred percent planning on seducing you tonight.” 

“See, I was already screwed.” You giggled and he snorted into the crook of your neck, bursting into a deep laugh. 

“In more ways than one.” He helped ease you up so you could go take care of yourself and turned to strip the bed to replace the sheets. 

Overall he hoped that you were no longer worried about letting him see you in the light. 

[melit0n]

Talking with some of my mutuals and wishing I knew them when I was eleven and it was sunny all the time. I think I would have liked playing Pokémon with you all

[daemon-in-my-head]

ALSO since it's winter and my innate need to be a nerd about music and browse music stores for new beautiful guitars I can never afford (3k custom order aahahahahahahah kill me cuz thats still cheap) is back I've been thinking.

Nr 1:

Gort strikes me as an organ girlie. But at the same time it would suit Durge much much more. Raphael lost his organ rights by being such a lenient little man at times. Like you play that instrument with your whole ass body. Big pipe organs are literally part of a house foundation. It's a massive and breathtaking instrument that's just absolutely insane and the tunes it produces are godly. It's also so inventive like, bro the instrument is a fucking house. Oppressive as hell. Thats Gort. That's just the mecha megalomaniac. But then its also positively divine and often related to faith. And its a lot of harmonies and shit mixed together like the Bhaalspawn r and it's rly just a blood sweat and tears kinda thing and it's just giving Durge vibes yk?

Nr 2:

This is probably exclusive to me but uh, modern Band AU whatever would have Gort play an e guitar and be capable of absolutely insane riffs and also probably frontman if we're honest while Durge plays classical guitar. And I have my reasons for believing that cuz not only r guitars awesome and very versatile instruments that can produce both melodies and chords by themselves the e guitar / classic mix also has this rly weird just durgetash dynamic. There are harmonies but there's also chaos and both are capable of being gentle and soft in their own ways but they're also played fundamentally different and usually take a different role but both are still very capable of breathtaking solos and I'm just being a fucking nerd on main rn and will shut up before I pull out my music theory power point.

[misspickman]

i havent been posting about my veilguard gaming here much but heres my crow bestie

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

@namsey1987 ahhh! This is giving off our sweet Honey Reader vibes! Living her best life and look! Binks even has a cameo in this artwork 😍😍😍

🐝🌸 Bea!

[smileysvech]

No, I won’t, I won’t give a fuck about you

Good Graces – Sabrina Carpenter

short n’ sweet moodboard series masterlist

tagging: @pyotrkochetkov @senditcolton @naughtyasworld @ahoist @lovelyteuvo @laurenairay @mendeshoney @jostystyles

[evilfloralfoolery]

Y'all can laugh at this real world shit.

[thatonegaybrit]

; hey, slow down .. life isn't that short and it's actually kinda cool when you js look around for a bit

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

You know Honey is bringing this home just cause and for Halloween, this will be displayed on the kitchen table with Curtis threatening to eat it to get you all feisty with him.

Well now I’ve seen everything! What will they think of next. Halloween’s right around the corner!

[thebirdandhersong]

Okay y'all it is over it is done the conversation has been had he knows I love him we are still friends I have cried my eyes out properly I have laughed again my heart will keep on hurting for a while but it is FINISHED

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Just an FYI Honey makes these and sticks them in Curtis's lunchbox to find at work.

"Honey, you hinting at something?"

"That I love your gray sweatpants? Curtis you should know by now how much they turn me on."

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[yes-asil]

I’ve made names for what the boys are. Matt is a ghost seeker (cause he can see ‘em), Lukas is a ghost whisperer (cause he can hear ‘em). And while I’m here, I love your art! And I don’t really care when you give me the content as long as you’re working on it and you’re doing at least decently.

That's so cute, especially because they are doing the exact opposite of what their title is ajhsjs Matt avoiding to look for ghosts and Lukas very much loudly declaring he wants to talk to them

And thank you!! I am chipping away at the pages very slowly, but slow and steady wins the race!

[wvldorf]

l.u.s.h love u so hard

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok so. kiwami 2. rooftop scene. the ending. it's a bit of a clusterfuck but i wanna talk about one detail, a problem they bring to your attention by Fucking. Talking About Her.

haruka is watching all of this unfold.

[this post is like 4.5k words long + pretty critical + has spoilers for kiwami and kiwami 2, and really minor/vague ones for a couple others. they're not that bad though, trust me (and i added a warning in the one place it is major)]

ALSO CONTENT WARNING i'm gonna talk about kiryu's passive suicidality a good amount in this one, so stay away from this if you think that might affect you negatively/you'd be better off skipping it. i'll also make a tl;dr (which i will highlight in red) at the very end if you really wanna know what my point is that will exclude those elements <3. i am also going to use a lot of choice-based language in regards to kiryu's contemplation of suicide because i think it's the lens through which the games treat the topic, but i personally don't find it a productive or realistic way to look at suicide or suicidal ideation at all. someone dying by suicide absolutely does not mean they don't care about their loved ones enough to fight on or whatever. i love you, and proceed with caution on this one.

(also i'm using the kiwamis as my point of reference because i uh. don't have a ps2? those are the games that i played, and though the differences are likely slight, i wanna be clear about that. also,, ignore the watermark on these screenshots,, i didn't notice them and i'm not retaking them. we're all gonna have to settle for youtube cutscene comps for now xoxo)

first, we have to talk about the ending of the first game.

[note: i am Really Really Confident kiryu has a conversation earlier in the game about his going to jail in nishiki's stead being him running away and choosing not to resist his two options (go to jail or let nishiki go to jail) and define his own path, fighting his way against fate to make it happen. part of why i'm so confident it exists is because it made such an impression on me at the time. it's pretty important to my interpretation of things but i also can't find it for the life of me, so uh. sorry ✌️ i really tried. this post's takes/analysis will be dependent on this scene existing, so keep that in mind. if anyone knows where to find the scene/screenshots of it, lmk and i'll add a follow-up with it]

kiwami stuff

so as she's dying, yumi tells haruka this:

that she may be dying (painfully, and right as she's getting everything she wanted), but she doesn't regret it, because at least she did something rather than running away from it all. that you shouldn't run away, ever.

shortly thereafter, when the police find kiryu and haruka, this exchange happens between him and date. here's the play by play:

date tells kiryu he can get him out of trouble with this, and that if he doesn't, he'll get life in prison; kiryu declines his help:

kiryu is so devastated (understandably) by the back to back losses of the three people closest to him that he resigns himself to life in prison, and the death-in-effect that would be. he would prefer to waste away rather than struggle through a life without them. prison was monotonous and isolating, but coming back after a decade was overwhelming, and coming back to everything being so warped and twisted, and then losing the corrupted scraps he had anyway, well. he wants to go back to sleep. he doesn't want to be in a world where everything's the same except he's on his own. better to return to safety, to die slowly in a hell he knows well than weather a new one where he has control and agency, and thus one where he has the ability to fail and to lose anything at any time. he explains to date that that loss is why he can accept his death:

date shakes him and asks him if there's really nothing left for him, no reason to keep living at all:

then echoes yumi's advice to haruka:

which makes an impression on kiryu:

date gives him a reason to live in the form of haruka, saying she'll be on her own again if he goes to jail. he hijacks kiryu's tragic protector complex to keep him alive, because she needs him, and because she's someone precious to him:

after the dust has cleared,

kiryu and date also have this exchange, where date tells him to stay away from the cops (and presumably arrest and a return to prison, the aforementioned fate akin to death), and kiryu cites haruka as his reason to stay away, one he holds to with no uncertainty (showing again that he's accepted date's logic, that his reason to keep living even when it's incredibly difficult is to care for the more vulnerable haruka). given the weight of the consequences, to me, it feels like date's telling him not to be alone with his thoughts or something. it's almost frightening:

so, what's our takeaway from kiwami?

kiryu lost everything and hit rock bottom, but he chose to fight, and to live life on his own terms, even when it got difficult. that's the narrative life lesson he had to learn to avoid repeating the events of 1995. he made that choice for haruka's sake. it's seen as growth.

and without him, haruka would've just returned to the orphanage (assuming she could make it back to sunflower at all) with no one who knew or understood what she had been through, no one to mourn with her, and no one to give her the attention, care, and protection she needs. kiryu knows what it's like to be an orphan with a limited parental figure who only checks in every so often (kazama, "aunt" yumi), and what someone will do for attention/affection from that person (via both himself and nishiki swearing up, climbing the ranks, etc. arguably haruka coming to kamurocho by herself to find "mizuki" is similar), and what it's like to lose them anyway (again, kazama, yumi). their situations parallel each others' somewhat, and that binds them further. and after losing everyone (which he blames himself for to some extent, as one can probably assume from this and 2, and something key to his arc in later games), he chooses to protect her. and this time, he won't fail. at least partially because failing would hurt him, too. he'd have nothing left again.

okay. now we get to kiwami 2.

if you forgot, the context is basically:

everybody's fighting on the roof of a building which i'm sure will not be a running theme or anything as the series goes on

there's a bomb that's about to go off and they don't know how to/can't defuse it

ryuji shot the twist villain to death, but took fatal hits to do so

sayama's like hey!! let's get out of here!!! and kiryu and ryuji are like nooo we have to settle this oughh it's punchin time and they stick her on an elevator and send her down so she doesn't have to watch

ryuji loses. sayama returns, they have a cute sibling heart to heart, and ryuji dies in her arms. sad

kiryu is in rough shape as well, and there's like 2 minutes left on the bomb's timer

here's the scene itself:

sayama tells kiryu they have to run, and kiryu says he can't. the gist is "let's run!" "you go without me" "i'm not leaving you!" "i'm in no condition to run" "i'll carry you then!!" sayama: *sees how fucked up kiryu is, realizes he's Going To Die Anyway* "ok, then i'm staying with you!" and then further bickering about that, before they give up and make out (as one does i guess)

date (he's here now) yells this at them from a helicopter:

before someone else in the helicopter tells date this:

we get this shot of haruka calling out to kiryu as the helicopter swerves away:

and kiryu and sayama have this exchange about haruka where they say they let her down, but that she'll understand:

then they hug and the bomb ticks to zero right when the credits hit. in post credits it's revealed that the twist villain defused the bomb when they weren't looking, betraying his co-villain for reasons i truthfully do not remember and am unwilling to look up. it's not about that right now.

so, how does this scene interact with the ending of the previous game?

the short answer is "badly <3" but here's the long answer:

it's about choices.

the thing about fiction is that anything you want to have happen, as a writer, can happen. it may not be effective, internally consistent, or logical, but you can write it regardless. audiences suspend their disbelief for the sake of engaging fully with your fiction, but everyone has a threshold past which they will stop being engaged in a story and either become uninvested or annoyed. writers usually have lines they're unwilling to cross as well. but in almost every story, there's at least a couple of places where they stretch reality a little to make the narrative they want happen. this is not a bad thing at all. that's how stories get told.

now, i'm gonna be real with you. i don't care about how feasible plots are like 95% of the time. it's not something i think about much, nor is it something i prioritize. i am a very character-centric media consumer, so if world building and/or plot are a bit stale or contrived, that doesn't really bother me much so long as i'm invested in the characters involved. some people can't stand plot holes or the ways musicals burst into song or whatever, and that's fine for them. but it's not something i tend to find that all that important.

this is all to say that i have a sorta affection for rgg's flavor of bullshit pulling. and it is a powerful flavor, maybe even an acquired taste, but i can and do rock with it so long as it doesn't damage the characters too much. this is why i'm not making a lengthy post howling into the void about joji kazama or the second joon-gi han or how many secret relatives there are. those things are silly and endearing and a clumsy yet heartfelt part of a series i care about very deeply. i'll joke about it, but i don't consider it much of a flaw. it's more like personality. flaws are texture, and they help a piece's identity. point is i am very, very willing and able to suspend my disbelief for these games in exchange for a good time, particularly via good characters.

(if you want another example of where i draw the line from within rgg, the answer's the YAKUZA 4 SPOILERS INCOMING rubber bullets twist, because i think 1) it's actively horrifically stupid (especially retconning a scene we SAW HAPPEN. WE SAW BLOOD ON EACH IMPACT, AND RUBBER BULLETS DON'T OFTEN BREAK SKIN THAT DEEPLY (THEIR DAMAGE IS MORE PERCUSSIVE THAN PENETRATIVE). THESE EVENTS HAPPEN IN THE SAME GAME YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETCON IT JUST REWRITE IT. OR DON'T SHOW THE HIT AT ALL SO THERE'S MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. DON'T DO THIS JUST TO HYPE UP YOUR SHITTY VILLAIN NO ONE CARES ABOUT. and 2) (a bit more importantly) i think it actively removes saejima's primary internal conflict for that game, that being his intense guilt over the 18 murders he thinks he committed, one i was invested and interested in. but this isn't a rubber bullets post.)

characters in this series walk off a lot of life threatening injuries. they survive miraculously, they escape in the nick of time, and they pull through in the end. kiryu still somehow hasn't killed anyone. almost every game in his saga ends with an "is kiryu gonna make it out this time?!?" shortly followed by a "yeah lol. lmao" postcredits reveal. kiryu fucking punches a marble statue into dust in the first game. having a story that asks you to suspend your disbelief so much and so often means that when a decision is made, it's not the writers saying, "well, this would have to happen so we are obligated/forced to write it happening" so much as "we wanted this to happen for some reason(s)," because you already know that they're not guided solely by logic. again, this is true of all writers, it's just amplified in stories like these because they've already given you so many hard mode suspension of disbelief moments (they've broken you in like leather, yeah? or like how obvious internet scams allow for self selection by being so obvious that only the most vulnerable people would fall for them. they curate an audience willing to play along with their bullshit flavor so they can tell a story that's more likely to satisfy that audience. in a good way, in a fun way! mass appeal is overrated). there is not much limit to what this series is willing to try and sell you.

so when ryuji takes lethal damage taking out the big bad, that's a choice. when he doesn't die immediately, that's a choice. when ryuji and kiryu send sayama away in the soon-to-be-forgotten elevator so they can settle this like men or whatever despite the literal actual bomb about to go off, that's a choice. when sayama comes back, that's a choice. when ryuji does die, that's a choice. when kiryu determines that he can't escape in time, that's a choice. when sayama is unwilling to leave him, that's a choice. when she says she'll carry him out and there's an elevator right fucking there and then she's like never mind i guess i won't anymore we're dying together right now kiryu like they're not gonna even try?? wouldn't distancing themselves from the blast give themselves a better shot, something that's super possible given the 2 minutes they have with that elevator??? sayama you met him like a week and a half ago why are you ready to die with him that's not a plot hole i just think that's kinda strange whatever anyway, that's a choice. when kiryu stops arguing with her so they can kiss (next to her brother's corpse), that's a choice. when date shows up, that's a choice. when the helicopter can't save them because the bomb was going to go off too soon, that's a choice. when they put haruka in that helicopter and take her away, let her only impact be reminding kiryu and sayama that they can't help her, that's a choice. when they spend their last moments talking as if they're already dead, then simply waiting, that's a choice.

they're all choices that the writers made for the characters, and we are asked to believe them for the sake of achieving the writers' vision, as with any story. the only problem is that the writers' vision here fucking blows.

i'm not saying it would be realistic for kiryu and sayama (and even ryuji) to make it out alive, but it wouldn't be out of character for the series in the slightest. kiryu is suddenly unable to power through here, and that's a choice. so, what is their vision?

put simply, i think they wanted a romantic last stand for kiryu and sayama, a tragic scene of doomed, devoted lovers. and i think they wanted an edge-of-your-seat fake out death. they wanted spectacle.

here's how some specific choices they made undermine all that shit we talked about earlier from the first game.

once again, kiryu is called by date to live, to pick himself up and keep going, no matter how impossible the odds are. he's even reminded by haruka's presence, his one anchor in keeping himself going. the growth he had in the parallel scene in the previous game is challenged, and he fails.

it's not enough this time. and that's a choice.

it's also one i can't think of a good reason for, and that's the real kicker.

characters can have developmental backslide just like people do, and if they're given good reason for it, it can be just as, if not far more compelling that purely linear growth (i am a chimera ant arc enjoyer, and that's all i'll say. sorry if you haven't seen hunter x hunter. uhh. i am also a zuko avatar enjoyer if that helps). but i can't think of anything that happened in that game that would cause this from a character perspective. if anything, kiryu should be less likely to do this intentionally. he's spent around a year raising haruka, and a year has passed since he lost his loved ones. at the very least, the pain should be more dull, though it is established through an early nightmare sequence that his ass is (justifiably) not over it yet. given that their deaths were the initial motivation for his willingness to rot forever, theoretically, he should be more motivated to stay alive than before now that he's got more investment and stability in his life outside of them, particularly when it comes to haruka, his reason for surviving. and if the ongoing nature of the trauma was the motivator for this, then they should've had it affect him more past that nightmare scene (it really serves more as a recap of the last game than anything else) so it didn't come out of nowhere. so the reminder of the lesson that saved his life and then guided it for at least a year afterwards, one that the whole resolution of the previous game relied on heavily falls flat for... some reason.

i think this is a good time to mention that, generally speaking, you don't write arbitrary choices into characters. sure, people in real life are often sporadic, but when analyzing fictional characters, every choice is filed into a portfolio of characterization that can and should be analyzed. going for pure realism can obfuscate their development, motivations, themes, etc. their choices and reactions may be unorthodox, but they must be internally consistent. this is very related to how i view plot contrivance as well. characters drive the plot, not the other way around. stories are about the ways characters affect their worlds/lives and vice versa, and they're the human face to the themes and ideas the writers are trying to explore and express. maybe my stance on this seems hypocritical. i don't know if it is. but to me, plot issues are usually a matter of engagement and investment, while character issues are a matter of substance.

i hope this doesn't feel patronizing explaining all of this, but i want you guys to know where i'm coming from in my analysis. starting at my base philosophy on writing is the easiest way to do that, i feel. defining the terms of the debate, and all that. anyway

and i mean, look. they survive because "it was defused the whole time we just didn't see it happen", so it's not like narrative tension or realism or whatever was THAT big of a priority overall. if it was gonna be a cop-out anyway, they should'nt have ruined kiryu's development too, yeah?. and sayama fucks off to america after this game anyway, so it's not like the doomed lovers thing had much payoff or meaning after this one (though you could argue that's more an issue with yakuza 3 than yk2, which has some merit to it). which means that they chose to sacrifice kiryu's prior development and internal logic for the sake of cheap tension for their finale that was both kinda illogical in and of itself (the elevator!! the elevator!!!) and a romantic climax that neither required nor really benefitted from this staging. (like. you coulda had them make out and then get saved by date, or kiss on the elevator in a "it's moving, but will we make it in time??" way or whatever. look i'm not saying those are great options either but they're SOMETHING okay. it would remove/reduce the amount of time wasted on characters sitting around with their thumbs up their asses for no reason in this finale).

instead the message of this finale is that, actually, sometimes it is impossible to change your circumstances and fight for your own way out of an awful situation. and what should you do about this unfortunate truth? uh. die! i guess. it's the exact opposite of the encouraging, optimistic message of the last game. zetsubou chou pride my ass.

note: i feel i should mention that when suicidality is brought up within the series (particularly in substories), it is always something someone has to overcome themselves through wanting it badly enough. they simply need the inspiration and the motivation to keep going. it's arguably treated as a moral obligation. frankly, the series is broadly very meritocratic (<- bad) when it comes to this topic (and others, but that's a Whole Other Thing. see akiyama's weird loan shark tests as well). sheer will and resolve is enough to conquer any problem, be it physical or mental/emotional, and it's irresponsible to act/feel otherwise. this is the logic the games operating under, and kiryu is often the mouthpiece for this bootstrap-pulling "tough love" sentiment. so when kiryu "chooses" to die, yet faces no emotional fallout from date, haruka, or anyone else, it feels very out of place. it's not just an odd choice; it's specifically, once again, an odd choice to make in context of the game/series/character it appears in.

kiryu's just like eh, haruka'll watch her only family die right as she gets some sense of tentative stability and lets her guard down after a devastating month the year prior (and a relatively dismal upbringing before that) that we trauma bonded over. sure, she likely came to view me as the one who would stay no matter what, who was too strong to be taken out, who she could always rely on, and so i know that dying would hurt her immensely, but she's smart enough to know it'd happen eventually. her eventual recovery means it's okay for me to do this (somehow, in a way it wasn't in the first game). it's an excuse within the narrative's logic, and one it is uncritical of simply because it's kiryu. he gets a pass.

and i think with the previously mentioned passive suicidality and general series-long mental health issues kiryu displays (i mean. yakuza 5's literally his depression arc), this could be retroactively seen as an interesting choice, like a piece in that particular narrative. i don't even dislike that viewing, especially in terms of fan approach. but (assuming this went down the same in yakuza 2), they likely didn't have that in mind. all they had then was the first game and the movie. and they took the first game's Entire Message and contradicted it for nothing but a scene they wanted to have happen because it'd be suspenseful and/or emotional (without actually doing the work to earn it). and they're not fans trying to analyze his character, they're the ones making choices for him. and they chose to massacre my boy. and if the subject of kiryu's mental health was a priority of theirs, why didn't they explore that? haruka and date's feelings on him not resisting and their words not being enough (whether that blame is justified by the narrative or not (it shouldn't be btw)), the uncomfortable drifting that resigning yourself to death and living afterwards anyway often brings, literally any conversation about it besides the minimal shit we get post credits of date being like "did you know about the bomb not having a fuse?" which like. bad answer either way (which is why they weren't straightforward about it, the cowards). you can't just be like "oh uh. idk he just gave up this time. yeah he was gonna die on purpose for some reason. good thing the bomb was fake lol" and then pack up and go home!! that's stupid!! any merit the idea of kiryu dying by suicide in this scene and in this way could have had from a character-based perspective loses its weight because 1. it didn't happen (for kinda stupid reasons), which makes it fall flat and 2. no one is really affected by the fact that it almost did, including him. they sacrificed his ass and replaced it with nothing, even when there could have been interesting outcomes to it.

so the narrative effectively chose to kill him by making the situation impossible, and this impossibility is ultimately arbitrary, given the series' usual approach to miraculous, illogical escapes. that, or the choice to stay was up to kiryu and sayama, one that 1. doesn't make sense and is actively regressive in context of kiryu's arc in the only other game in the series (as well as his whole saga in retrospect) and 2. one that contradicts how the series sees/treats resignation to death/death by suicide in all other contexts without being addressed, challenged, or condemned in ways it would in all other contexts. because they don't want you to think about it like that. they want you to think he (and the narrative) had no choice, that it made sense to do that. but it didn't. it doesn't.

and look, honestly? if i was bleeding out and had like 2 minutes to live, there's a non zero chance i'd say fuck it and kiss a girl too. i get it. but i am (and this is crucial) not a fucking yakuza character. and i'm certainly not kiryu kazuma.

tl;dr (basically just rephrasing the second to last main paragraph)

there are not sufficient character reasons for kiryu and sayama not trying to escape. additionally, because the narrative regularly facilitates even less likely escapes, it's not so constrained to logic and reality that it couldn't pull this one off. the choice to let their situation be impossible this one time was a cheap and arbitrary way of forcing a scene they thought would be cool and dramatic, and in doing so they chose to cannibalize a key emotional note of the previous finale (namely kiryu's mission to dedicate his life to protecting haruka) for hollow last minute stakes-upping in this one. it is then completely disregarded anyway. god damn.

[lloydfrontera]

Seems like tged is making you sad and angry about different parts, stop quick question: which summon would you prefer to pet? Assuming Lloyd isn't charging you for it.

ppodong no questions or hesitation. gimme the hamster rn.

i am guilty of the exact same thing as lloyd, my favorite child is very much ppodong, closely followed by bangul, then hamang and finally ggoming. i am not impartial nor above playing favorites (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)