#Let’s see how I go 😂
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❤️🥩👹🥩❤️
#Oni 👹#The way that my thighs are so f@t they make my tummy look less f@t is insane 😂😂😂😂😂#I actually think this is the most I’ve posted of my body on here before~#I promised myself that even if it gets no notes or someone says something negative I won’t feel bad 💀😭#Let’s see how I go 😂
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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Not sure if it's reassuring to me that several people on twitter coming forth to state they've played part of the game saying the actual gameplay maintains that dark fantasy feel, or if it's making me more suspicious
#like bc even looking at the previous game trailers#yes a lot of them use cinematics from the game that are tweaked and silly music#but all of them do give off 'serious shit is going down in thedas' vibes and a lot of visually dark and more somber scenes#this trailer is just. very bombastic i think?#and i hope its just like. some trailer that missed the mark and the rest of the game is what we expect#bc i can see how if edited some shots could've been more dark/gritty#like davrin fighting for example#but man that dislike counter is almost at 100k sjskjd#like yeah yeah we all know wait til Tuesday#but like. i feel like they must be a little 'oh shit let the beta players say something on twitter' 😂#i do have some conspiracy theories abt this trailer and like. ea and marketing#fingers crossed its a good sign that ghil dirthalen was basically paid to help w the lore among others#i need tuesday so i can know how i feel
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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖
Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝
The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️
For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3
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PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!
~
Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.
Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).
Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)
The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.
Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.
You awake?
Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.
He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.
“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.
“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”
“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.
Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.
“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”
A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.
“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.
“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.
“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”
Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.
“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”
“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.
“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”
Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.
“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.
“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”
“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.
The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.
“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.
He had to steel himself for his next question.
“What do you mean?”
“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.
A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.
“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’
“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.
“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”
Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.
“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”
“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”
Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.
“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”
“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”
Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)
“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”
Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.
“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”
That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.
“Probably not half as much as I did.”
Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.
If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.
It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.
Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇
Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.
yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤
From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.
#blind channel fanfiction#blind channel rpf#ollixallu#24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling#<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw#everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone#one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3#probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol#anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3
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💙💚 (🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
#letting the world (7 people) know what i'm insane about (they all already know)#you know i could have sent more drawings but.#i lowkey feel irritated on how i see zefira's expression being the same everytime i drew her#so have these only. for now#there will be more.. (trad edition probably)#can they save me from dormitory hell. let's find out.#zefirengel#pk2 engel#pk2 zefira#i don't think this is the postknight 2 i'm playing😂😂😂cries#yagh#anyways i'm going to boarding school this afternoon so. cya#ksw doodles
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PSA
If you are interested in remaining free of all tour spoilers, I'll be tagging all my show related posts with the tag: #the 5sos show tour.
If you still want to see content but your main concern is setlist spoilers, any discussion of the confirmed setlist or videos of songs from the show will also be tagged #the 5sos show tour setlist.
To clarify, setlist spoilers will sport both tags so if you decide to block them both, the post will show up like this:
And then if you see a blocked post bearing only the main tag, you'll know it's at least safe from song spoilers!
Happy tour season! 🥰🥰
#5sos#5 seconds of summer#the 5sos show tour#kindahoping4forever#blog business#to be honest if you're trying to go into the show blind i would recommend not being on an socials at ALL#like idk if people realize how hard staying fully spoiler free would be#bc Michael said that shit about going in blind & literally less than 24 hours later the band accounts were posting song specific content 😂#like the band is going to be posting shit willy nilly#and obviously this fandom has varying degrees of courtesy lol#so I'd say just be weary if this is your journey!#and also don't let anyone make you feel bad for NOT trying to abstain#there's no 'right way' to experience this tour#one of my favorite parts of tour is the communal online experience#and I'd hate to see people hesitate to participate in that bc of pressure to hold out 💙#tl;dr - you do you and let's all have fun bbs!
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Rant in the tags... I am insufferable
#i keep watching video essays that annoy me.....#largely about like idk 'girlhood' 💀#and they never make sense or come across as relatable because smth like loneliness or relationship drama or identity for women is ALWAYS#connected to relationship history with men 💀#and h*terosexuality is treated as an universal aspect of womanhood#this also makes many stories unrelatable to me. a man existing is not a crime but stories saying smth deep about womanhood through how women#feel about men makes it alienating when you don't see the world that way#also idk some video essays are just soo pretentious and the person talking obviously doesnt know enough abt the topic#this doesnt only go for 'girlhood' type essays btw it also goes for the stuff i watch about minecraft and ts2 etc (yeah...) 😂💀#anyway yeah where is the essay about the universal girl experience of wanting to be crown prince rudolf (JOKING)#no but the thing is... watching dune made me realise... ppl never let a girl be a hero in blockbusters IN THE SAME WAY men get to be#st*r w*rs tried but the overall plot failed in many parts & people couldnt be normal abt it#idk i do think its because of how sex and romance are treated way differently in women's stories....... women never have those happen#just randomly on the side as things that build her up and somewhat affect the hero's journey - it often becomes About The Man#(because often it is a man)#idk#where's girl p*ul atr*ides. where's girl j*sus. where's girl crown prince rudolf#(in my fanfics.... that last one is in my fanfics...)#well just one so far unfortunately 😔
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Oh! OK, my chin is sore too bfkshd from. Holding the violin. Surprised myself with it by touching it absentmindedly and Feeling Pain. Specifically the part at the back of my jaw. Wild.
#speculation nation#it reminds me of how i had kind of a consistent red mark on my neck from my violin throughout my schooling#and i remember my dad once asking if it was a hickey. and i was MORTIFIED like NO it's from my violin!!!!#i dont think he fully believed me 😂 but he let the matter be.#will i have the return of the fake hickey... we will have to see...#actually man that 4.5 practice session wiped me out. literal blister on one finger. and another 4 that are raw as hell.#my wrist is aching from being turned so far for so long. & now the back of my chin feels like it's got a Bruise.#im so wiped out that i dont think im gonna play sims tonight after all. as sad as it is to say.#better to just go to sleep now and have more energy for it in the morning.#im like. wobbling in place rn. basically a near zombie. what a time.
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Ummm why have I woken up this morning to Geno on private?
#evgeni malkin#Instagram#ive been on my personal insta and haven't switched to the public unidentifiable one for ages#i dont follow most of the people on my priavte...i just look them up and have them showing on the search page to easily get to their page#so i went on Genos one to see if he posted anything new ....and i fucking get this???#like whats happened?? whats gonna happen??? why he on private??#was he going through his settings and accidentally hit a button lol and hasnt realised?#is there some kind of way to get data showing how many visits he gets to his profile from accounts that dont follow him? 😂🙈#and then he was like...lets see what we can do about that?#cause im still on my private one ..and now ive fucking requested a follow#who knows whats happened#geno#pittsburgh penguins#luro post
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The unfortunate side effect of listening to my dad's oldie rock music is that it never fails to bring to mind my mother's husband's older brother, a decrepit man who lived on our couch for years and was convinced he had been the lead singer / songwriter of System of a Down (and ofc needed to bring it up at least twice a day), but The Man wanted to bring him down specifically so of course he injured his back and had to bow out to work at Walmart. Honestly everything about that man was Comically off, but I just can't get over that a man who would get drunk n then piss on our couch nearly every night and then forbid elementary school children from interrupting his 2hr morning makeup routine was ... living in a two bedroom apt with 5 other people and still had the energy to be more bizarre
#if ever I see you again Tom I'm gonna have Words#how dare you pollute my mind with unprompted flashbacks whenever I wanna rock out to divorce dad tunes#I laugh about it now but back then it was not a good time and I distinctly remember thinking jail would be preferable to letting that man#go on breathing#sigh... childhood memories 😇😂#boop's rambles#he also was Actively trying to get his son and his sister's daughter to date#which isn't related at all (unlike them) but it Plagues me
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Black Hair Care myths BUSTED!
Since I’m fighting off the plague and have nothing else better to do but lay here pitifully, I’ve decided to talk about hair again after my last two posts on shampoo types and curly hair care , only this time focusing on Black folks’ hair and the misinformation lots of us grew up on.
Now, because I know the gowrls like to tussle (and Mercury in Microbraids along with an eclipse is upon us), lemme just say this: if you’re absolutely happy with your hair care routine, then this post isn’t for you.
This post is only for people who are curious and want to evolve and simplify their hair care routines.
OKAY LEGGO:
The hair typing chart is garbage.
Everyone and they mama should be familiar with this chart. So many of us use it to determine what type of hair products to buy that work best for our hair type.
Unfortunately, the chart is pseudo-science.
All hair types need the same basic care (shampooing/conditioning at least every week), and products that claim to cater to a specific hair type is just a marketing tactic. This chart also promotes texturism; Oprah’s stylist literally made up the type 4 category to say that the only thing to do to tight curls is to straighten or loosen them. 🥲
Products can’t give you the kind of curls you want.
I touched on this a bit in my first hair post, but it bears repeating here: Curl “activators”, Shea butter, raw oil blends, creams, leave-in conditioners, texturizing shampoos… all of them are finessing you, beloveds. If your hair isn’t holding defined clumps of curls immediately after shampooing, then your hair is likely chronically dehydrated and needs to be detoxed.
We’re kinda raised to product chase because we’re told that the way our hair grows out of our heads is bad and needs to be fixed, and the $2.5 billion Black hair care industry is always eager to offer us placebos for our coin. We see someone with the hair texture and length we want and we immediately ask “what products do you use??” as if the answer is in a bottle when it’s really just genetics. 🤷🏽♀️
Greasing/oiling your scalp does not moisturize it, get rid of dandruff, or make your hair grow faster.
As a kid I remember my hairdresser using a fine toothed comb and “breaking up” the dandruff on my scalp before applying Sea Breeze to soothe it. Every single time, the dandruff came back worse. 😩 If I put oil on my scalp, it would take only a day before build up and large yellow flakes would rain out of my hair. But I thought because my scalp and my hair needed moisturizing that I couldn’t go without oils.
Well, I was right on one thing; my scalp and hair def needed moisture. But I wasn’t gonna get moisture from anything but water, and at the time I was avoiding water like the plague because I always had a fresh silk press or perm and I didn’t want my hair “reverting”.
If you have a scalp condition or chronic itchiness, you are very much making it worse by adding any of that to your head. The only solution is to wash your hair, loves. Yes, you may have to choose between looking “laid” and what’s actually good for your hair and scalp, but them’s the breaks.
The hair growth oils that line the shelves at Sally’s? Literally snake oil. Same goes for hair vitamins, biotin, MSM, rice water, JBCO, egg white/tea rinse/fruit or food products, African Black soap, rose water, etc. Nothing topical, save for specific medicated prescription drugs from a dermatologist, can make hair grow. Save ya money, hunny!
Co-washing and water-only washing doesn’t get your hair clean.
Conditioner is incapable of doing what shampoo does. You’re just gonna add layers of build up on your hair doing co-washes. Water-only cleansing is like never using soap in your laundry and expecting your clothes to be clean. 😬 Only putting shampoo on your scalp and carefully avoiding the length of your hair is the equivalent of white folks not washing their legs in the shower. Don’t do any of this.
I actually do not know where the myth started that Black folks hair is somehow too fragile to handle shampoo, a thing that is specifically formulated for hair. 😅 If shampoo is drying your hair out, you need to make sure you’re using the right kind of shampoo, not ditching shampoo altogether. If you need help, I touched on shampoo basics here!
Using a spray bottle to “refresh” your hair doesn’t do what you think it’s doing.
Tiny water droplets from a spray bottle only sit on the surface of your hair, even more so if your hair already has product in it. If your styles aren’t holding until your next wash, you may need to re-examine what you’re using, how you apply it, and how you set it. If you need to refresh a style or get moisture, nothing less than washing your hair will do.
Finger detangling or using a wide toothed comb or denman brush isn’t doing the job.
I know we’ve been raised to think that because our hair is tightly coiled, that we have to treat it with kid gloves. But we actually do more harm to our hair by not detangling correctly. Detangling is the act of getting shed hair out from your head so it doesn’t wrap up in your healthy hair and cause breakage. A wide toothed comb can’t do that, and neither can your fingers. A denman brush is ONLY supposed to be used to hold tension in the hair when blowdrying it straight. What you want is a Felicia Leatherwood brush and to use that bad boy in the shower right after putting conditioner on sopping wet hair, trust me.
Protective styles don’t exist.
Buns, braids, wigs… all of them look fantastic when done right and it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t wear them. But they are all just alternative styles; nothing is being protected. I know a lot of us love the low maintenance that having these styles provide, but I want us to examine why they are thought of as low maintenance: it’s because folks are less likely to wash their hair/detangle while having them.
Any style that discourages you from weekly hair washing cannot be protective. It instead promotes hair neglect. Yes, I know, it can cost thousands of dollars for those waist length box braids or sew in, but you paid for the labor that goes into those kinds of styles, not the ability to keep them in for as long as possible. Not touching your hair for weeks on end means you’ll have dehydrated hair with mad buildup to get rid of. And btw, that type of damage to the hair cannot be fixed in just one visit to the salon. For as many weeks as you go without washing your hair, you need that many weeks out of an alternative style with frequent washing to help it recover.
Dry hair is determined by its behavior, not how it feels.
This one has a lot of folks tripped out because logically, we should be able to just touch our strands and know that it needs moisture. Unfortunately, so many of us don’t know what our actual hair feels like without it being slathered in products, so the moment that we stop using them we think our hair is “dry” when it’s really just how our natural hair texture may feel. It’s def not easy in the beginning to let go of the familiarity a nicely oiled head of hair presents. 🥲
So, how do you know if you have dry hair? If it can’t hold a curl pattern without manipulation, is hydrophobic (if water doesn’t completely flatten hair to your scalp when you wash it, it’s not absorbing), is extremely difficult to detangle, breaks off easily, etc.
You don’t need to rinse your hair in cold water.
Only reason you should even consider it is if you have vivid color in your hair, but… lemme tell y’all sumn.
Years ago when I started dyeing my hair, it was typical for a permanent black hair dye to act like a semi-perm and wash almost completely out or turn grey in a few weeks. Now that I have a much better hair regimen that keeps my hair in the best health it can be, my semi-permanent fashion colors last for months until I decide to touch it up again. And I absolutely do not relish being cold in the shower, so I just use hot water.
The health of your hair matters more than any gimmicks or products you can use to fix a problem.
Long hair/shiny hair is not an indicator of health, it is an indicator of genetics.
I want DESPERATELY for us as a people to break the shackles of thinking that the only hair that matters is long and thick, or that someone who has long hair is an automatic authority on hair care.
If you want an idea of how long your hair can get, then look to your family. If your mom or dad don’t have hair touching their waist then it’s highly possible you were not blessed with the DNA to get your hair waist length either. And that’s okay! You aren’t any less valid. It will just save you a LOT of heartache to learn to embrace your hair the way it naturally is rather than to run around buying products and chasing haircare trends in hopes that a miracle will happen. Not to mention, I’ve seen a lot of folks with long hair but they ain’t had a trim in years and it absolutely shows. 😬
A lot of folks do not have shiny hair, that is once again due to genetics not hair health. Matte hair has a different surface texture and that’s absolutely fine! Only manufactured beauty standards glorify long and shiny hair.
Speaking of hair length…
Shrinkage is not your enemy.
A general rule is that the only hair length that matters is how you regularly wear it.
My hair stays comfortably at the nape of my neck now that I wear my curls 100% of the time. If I pull it taut, then it’ll reach mid-back. But I don’t plan on straightening my hair ever again to show that mid-back length, so… 🤷🏽♀️ I have short hair because that is how it lays without manipulation. And that’s fine.
Shrinkage doesn’t scare me because it’s what healthy curly hair DOES. If my hair springs like a coil and retains shape, then I’m doing something right! I have always wanted long hair, I won’t deny that. But if I have to stretch my natural hair in any way in order to GET that long hair, it’s not worth it to me. I’ll just wear a wig for a hot min if I wanna whip my hair back and forth.
Air drying your hair isn’t better than diffusing it with a hair dryer.
Another thing we’ve been told is that heat damages our hair and that air drying is best. That’s not necessarily true.
DIRECT heat can damage your hair (flat irons, blow outs, pressing combs). INDIRECT heat (hooded dryers, a diffuser attachment on a handheld dryer) does not. In fact, diffused heat sets your wash and gos/twist outs way better than air drying. It cuts down on frizz and ensures your style will last through the week.
Also, it’s better to dry your hair completely rather than wait hours for it to air dry and then maybe sleep on wet hair. Fun fact: Leaving your hair wet for too long can cause mold to grow in your hair! 😱 And if you lay a wet head on a pillow, the bacteria transfers to your pillowcase and you continue to sleep in that until you wash the pillow!
You can’t “lock moisture in” your hair.
Water evaporates. It’s what it’s gonna do. 🤷🏽♀️ Putting leave ins or oils on your hair in hopes that water stays in your strands longer isn’t a thing, despite what a lot of us have been told. The only thing you’re gonna be left with is greasy, dehydrated hair if you don’t wash it weekly.
Avoiding getting a hair cut will not grant you healthy or long hair.
Hair grows an average of half an inch per month, regardless of race. The belief that “Black hair doesn’t grow” is rooted in anti-Blackness. 😅 If you’re not seeing growth, then it’s most likely that your hair is simply breaking off faster than the rate of growth, or you have an underlying health issue that needs to be addressed by a doctor.
I know I used to hate hairdressers who seemed “scissor happy” because I was always chasing length, so I would often only tell them to “dust” the ends if they do anything. Now, I will grab my clippers and cut inches off my hair in a heartbeat if my hair starts looking raggedy. Clinging on to scraggly hair because it takes “so long to grow” doesn’t do you any favors, trust me. 😭 Take better care of your hair and you will retain length a lot easier, and that includes getting quarterly haircuts.
Porosity does not matter.
How many of us did this whole “put a strand of hair in a cup of water and see if it floats or sinks”? Well, what if I told you that it means absolutely nothing for everyday hair care? 😭 Porosity isn’t even a static state, so many things can change it on a dime!
The only time porosity matters is if you are getting a color service and that is only for your stylist to determine. And you will never see a stylist worth their salt putting your hair in a cup of water to figure it out. Also, a lot of “low” porosity hair is just product build up.
Using home remedies to address hair loss concerns doesn’t work.
No, it doesn’t matter that your grandma did black tea rinses regularly to stop her hair from shedding. It doesn’t matter what women in India do with their hair, either. This may be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s perfectly okay to evolve past things that aren’t truly helpful even if it’s a Black culture staple.
Please don’t be afraid to go to a dermatologist. 🥺 There’s even a Black Dermatologist Directory to reference if you don’t wanna go to just anybody. Yeah, it may seem pricey, but Dermatologists have the training to cut through the guesswork, pinpoint what the problem is and save you a LOT of time and pain. You don’t wanna fuck around and make your hair loss WORSE by doing psuedo-chemistry in your kitchen.
“Do what works for you” doesn’t have the mileage you think it does.
When people don’t want to hear that their current hair practices aren’t really helping them, they default to “Well, it works for ME!” or “Everyone’s hair is different!”
Nobody’s hair is so different that it doesn’t need a weekly wash with shampoo. Nobody’s hair is the magical unicorn that grew 4 inches in a month because they used JBCO. Your hair is not “built different”, and believing that it is will lead you to spending money on things you don’t need. Doing what works for you only comes after you have nailed the basics of healthy hair care, and it only varies in like… if you prefer to use styling foam to set your wash n go as opposed to gel. Or using one brand’s shampoo over another. Not “my hair likes butters and oils and staying in protective styles for months on end and is doing just fine, and you telling me otherwise is anti-Black”.
If you have unexamined hatred of your natural hair texture, then nothing in this long-ass post will hit for you. If a large part of your identity as a Black person is rooted in product chasing, protective styles and taking an entire business day to wash your hair, then a lot of this will offend you. I’m really sorry for that, and I am not here to argue with anybody. I’ll just tell you “if you like it, I love it” and go on about my business.
For everyone else, I really hope this post helps to shed some light on hair care and set you on a better journey that gives you more time and more confidence in your styles! 🥹
#this post long as hell and I absolutely forgot how to do a read more cut#I hope y’all got that automatic post reducer option toggled cause I know that saved my life 😂#but as you can see I’m very passionate on saving my people trial and error in hair care#cause seriously if I was told this ages ago I would have gone natural way before now#the hardest part for most folks I think will be the mindset change required to let go of bad habits#cause no matter what the facts say if you not ready to hear it then 🤷🏽♀️ can’t be helped!#black hair care#natural hair care#hair care tips
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Broski’s, I just watched a movie at my dad’s (and mom’s but my dad is the one who texted me about it) recommendation and I looked it up expecting to find some feminism, maybe some shit about the creepy, grapey* vibe a character (the villain of the story) gave off, maybe some love for the intelligent queen who kept fighting to get herself out of a truly horrific situation, no matter the cost, or especially for her sheer badassery at the end of the movie, and instead just found thirst posts and fanfic for aforementioned villain? :/ because I want some of that previously mentioned stuff on Red Eye, but now I’m just lowkey mad >:-/
#I’m also mad about the number of women in this movie who apparently just let shit fly under their radar#cause no self respecting woman in real life would see anything those attendants did and just go on with their evening#for instance when I was like 12#12!#I went out for dinner with my grandparents and out waitress looked like MAYBE she MIGHT have been sad at some point in her day#(slightly red cheeks and a smile that only barely reached her eyes)#and I spent the whole meal tossing around in my head if I should ask her about it and made sure she got an extra large tip#and I. was. twelve.#there is no way that a fully aware adult female#would irl see any of the things the attendants see in this movie and not take her aside and check up on her#especially with how clearly she fears him#or at the very least show suspicion that something wasn’t right#that 11 yo is the realest bitch in the movie#in conclusion this movie was written by a man#😂#so back to what I started with#I want more content on the hero of this story#and I want more hate on the creep#is that too much to ask? 😭😭😭#anywho#red eye#red eye movie#lisa reisert#movies#rants
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The way I was like horrified and disgusted every time phan proof videos (usually of the bedroom sharing variety) were recommended to me in my more casual fan stage and then less than 24 hours after trying to live my truth was uploaded I was watching several bedroom proof videos lmao
#i was like hm let me see how long it took me to really commit to the phan deep dive and i did not think it was a mere few hours 😂#dan implied he liked to suck dick once and i said ok time to go all in here!#and to be clear i did generally think they were together since at least the time they moved into the second london apartments#but i was like 'ugh these gross invasive people talking about their bedrooms with probably delusional evidence'#and tbh i always hated and still do hate bedroom discourse like its the least interesting 'proof' to me#but then i watched and i was like okay still a little invasive but yeah this checks out actually lol
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I have finished all my Ruza brainrot art (for now, at least) and I dont have the file for the next page of Altar on my travel tablet, so now the question is what shall I draw? 🧐 What sights should I create...suggestions welcome... ✨️
#sin speaking#(im colouring a redraw of an old castlevania piece but thats basically finished too lmao so)#(yall...i have 52 things on my to draw list 😂😂😂😂 I CANT DECIDE!!!!)#(kind of shook at how many people enjoyed that post of feral aloysha tho tbqh 😂 I SEE YOU....DO YOU WANT MORE OF HER?????)#(I CAN DRAW MORE OF HER!!!)#(there is more of her coming actually. bc her and ruza. let me say. they are not platonic LOL)#(and 32 i think people liked that post about my hunter arianna urges so maybe ill do that.......i do not kno....)#(idk dump some ideas any ideas any bloodborne ideas and i will probably pick one or two. or a few. we'll see.)#(i go home tuesday SO)
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🎶
#ok super random rosie post#not gonna explain but I feel a lot more free to do what I wanna do now#and it’s fucking amazing#but but I’m thinking about starting a tik tok for like idk singing and cover videos#maybe art who knows#but I don’t even understand how to USE TikTok let alone how to make shit on it#(just realized the first time I used TikTok it was ‘tick tock’ and I find that super funny#but also shows that I’m really really not on it at alllllll)#I only use tumblr#for years now I guess?#I still have a fb but it just makes me sad going on there lol#never been into twitter or x or whatever the fuck and instagram never really stuck for me#so here I am#but I’ve been really wanting to make music videos and I feel like that might be the best way#fun rosie fact of the day#I used to really want to do covers and music on YouTube#like back in middle school#I even did a few videos and I’m terrified to look to see if they are still up#but most likely they are 😂😂😂#lil rosie at like idk how old are middle schoolers? 10?????#anyway getting super distracted#but I’ve been singing my musical theater songs and oooooofda I love it so so much#kinda wanna try and do like a duet with myself#like if I’m doing wicked#I’ll do half my face like elphaba and the other like Glinda#orrrrrr I’ll figure out how to edit videos and do different ones and idk the right word right now connect them hahahaha#yes I might be a littttttle high#but I’m doing goooooooood also running out of space so the main reason for this super long tag post if anyone cares or sees#if you know or use TikTok and wanna help an oldie (even tho I’m 25 I feel like I’m so old 😂😂)#shut up rosie
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