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writinground2 · 1 year ago

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Bad Guy - Leah Williamson

Based on a request for more Angsty Leah

This ended up a lot different and longer than I expected it to. There is the potential for a part two if there is interest.

“Never have I ever, cheated on someone,” Ella spoke.

The lionesses playing the drinking game with water at their team bonding night, everyone spread out in the small hotel room. The night had moved from card games and movies to the game of Never Have I Ever to get to know each other a little more.

A few took bashful sips, admitting their previous infidelity, all looking guilty about their actions. Leah scoffed when she noticed Y/N does not take a sip.

“Seems fitting this is a question you choose to lie about,” the blonde rolls her eyes.

“I’m not lying,” Y/N mutters, keeping her head down, hoping someone else will continue the game and the attention would be taken off her.

Leah opens her mouth to bite back, “whatever,” she sneers instead when Millie sharply elbows her in the side.

The room sits in awkward silence for a moment, no one knowing what to say. Most wanted to ask more questions about the interaction, having never seen the either woman be anything but professional towards each other since their friendship had fallen apart only a few months ago.

“Umm, never have I ever, broken a bone,” Jordan spoke up to end the tense silence. She knew it would draw the attention off Y/N, so many of the players wanting to compete with who had the coolest or worst injury story.

Y/N played a few more rounds before quietly slipping out of the room. No one noticing until they hear the click of the door.

“Time for bed!” Millie was quick to usher everyone out of her before anyone could question Leah about her tense interaction with Y/N.

No one knew the cause of the fallout between the two friends. They had been friends since staring on the youth teams years ago, thick as thieves early on. Then, suddenly, Y/N was being sent on loan to Arsenal from Aston Villa and Leah wanted nothing to do with her best friend. Jordan and Rachel avoided Y/N their first international break after the loan, but seemed fine the next camp, both giving the older girl sympathetic looks. Leah would remain professional with her former best friend, but it was apparent something significant occurred within Y/N’s loan.

“Sorry,” Y/N mumbled as she almost walked into Leah as she walked out of the bathroom as Leah entered their shared room. Because of course they would be roomed together. Staff didn’t realize the tension in the friendship, leaving them paired as they normally were.

“I bet you are,” her tone saturated with in sarcasm, “nothing but lies coming out of your mouth.”

“I never cheated Leah,” Y/N whispered, standing at the end of her bed, face crumpling while she tried to convey her honesty to the blonde.

“Cut the shit, Y/N. I was there that night; we all saw you with that girl at the bar. We saw you fighting with Sydney before you left,” Leah squared her shoulders to confront Y/N, she wasn’t going to let Y/N deny her infidelity anymore.

“I know,” Y/N couldn’t meet the blondes eye, fiddling with the hem of her shirt, “but, it wasn’t what it looked like.”

“It wasn’t what it looked like,” Leah mocked her.

“I know it’s cliché, but It really wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Yeah? So what was it supposed to look like? Because, what it looked like, was you fighting with your girlfriend, then getting into a car of girls, and me being left with your crying girlfriend.”

“I didn’t get in the car,” Y/N whispered, but Leah wasn’t listening.

“That you kicked her out of your house only to show up at Arsenal. Single at that too!”

She glared Y/N down, eyes set, and jaw clenched, waiting for Y/N to answer. Sydney had been Y/N’s girlfriend of two years, the couple living together for one. She had grown close with the blonde, the pair loving to team up to make fun of Y/N. Sydney was the liaison for the marketing company for Aston Villa.

“I didn’t cheat, I didn’t get in the car that night,” Y/N repeated.

She knew how that night appeared to anyone watching on. That it easily appeared like Y/N and her girlfriend gotten into a fight, leaving her at the bar to get into a car full of girls. That she left her girlfriend in another city and moved to another team to avoid dealing with the consequences of her actions.

Leah continued to stare Y/N down, “if you want me to believe that, then what was it supposed to look like?”

Y/N let out a long sigh, scraping both hands down her face. She wanted to defend herself, to tell Leah the truth, but telling the truth also meant baring Sydney’s actions and she wasn’t sure she wanted to do that.

“I found out after the game that Villa wasn’t going to extend my contract. But they wanted to do whatever they could to squeeze as much money out of me before I left. They told a few teams interested that I was getting re-signed, even though I wasn’t, so that teams would bid for the loan rights. They hoped teams would sign the loan, then get a big transfer fee next season.”

Leah softened slightly, she couldn’t imagine being regarded only as a price tag, “this doesn’t have anything to with you supposedly not cheating.”

“I told Sydney before we went out. She didn’t really understand, hell I didn’t understand it, but she was mad because she thought it meant I was asking to be loaned out. When we went to the bar to get another round, she told me she was going to move out and went back to the table before I could say anything.”

Y/N sat on the edge of her bed with a defeated sigh, she might as well tell the whole story. She didn’t want to potentially ruin Leah’s friendship with Sydney, but she also couldn’t risk this to continue to put strain on their professional relationship.

“I thought that meant she didn’t want me around, so I decided to go home, let you guys enjoy the night. On the way out, there was a group of girls trying to get their friend in the backseat of the car to leave, but she was too drunk to stand, so I helped them. She got in the car, they left, and I went home.”

“But your car was still at the pub.”

“I walked; Sydney had the keys.”

Leah crossed her arms while she analyzed what Y/N told her. It was possible Y/N helped the group of girls, she always helped people around her. Y/N had hurt her wrist during the game and probably wouldn’t have been able to handle the gear shift to drive.

Taking the older girl in, Leah could see how tired she genuinely looked. How it looked like a struggle to just keep herself sitting upright and bags under her eyes when she would briefly make eye contact.

“She didn’t come home until the next afternoon.”

“She stayed with Jordan,” Leah snapped, she wasn’t going to let Y/N imply Sydney cheated to make herself sound better.

“I know,” Y/N nodded, “Jordan called me that night to yell at me when Sydney showed up there upset.”

Leah smiled a bit, she knew how protective Jordan could be and could imagine the earful she would have given Y/N, “good, you deserved it.”

“Damnit Leah, I didn’t cheat, and I didn’t kick her out!”

Y/N stood abruptly from the bed, frowning. Leah dropped her arms, mouth opening in shock at the sudden shift in Y/N.

“She broke up with me! She cheated! She told she found someone better, more attractive, that she never really found me attractive. I lived in a hotel for two weeks before Villa sent me to Arsenal like I was nothing!”

Y/N begun pacing the room.

“I had to miss training so I could pack my bags while she was at work. She got the house and everything in it and all I have is a couple bags and a few boxes.”

Leah didn’t know any of that. Sydney had told her Y/N kicked her out of the house and she believed it. And she certainly never said anything about seeing someone else. It was starting to be clear that Leah truly didn’t know the full story, or at least, not the true story.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

Y/N deflated at the question, sinking back down on the edge of the bed, “she was your friend too, I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Any anger the defender felt was gone now. Y/N had spent months protecting Sydney even though she didn’t deserve it. She had been taking the brunt of Leah’s anger without saying anything for months.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I – “

“It’s alright. It was easier to be the bad guy in her story than fight it.”

Leah made her way across the room, sitting next to Y/N, her whole body pressing into Y/N’s side.

“It’s not alright, you took so much of my anger when you didn’t deserve any of it. You took Jordan and Rachels too.”

Leah sounded astonished when she spoke, realizing how terrible Y/N had been treated. That she tolerated everyone’s accusations and criticisms while dealing with the truth of the breakup and club loan alone. Y/N should have been angry at everyone and should have told them all the truth about her breakup.

“They figured it out when they took her for drinks,” Y/N shrugged and Leah could tell she was trying to detach herself while telling the story, “She showed up with her new girlfriend. I wasn’t even at Arsenal yet.”

Leah shook her head. She was so angry at herself now. How could she believe someone she knew two years over her best friend she had known for fifteen? She had been so blinded by her anger, she let herself be manipulated into believing her best friend would have done anything like that.

“I’m gonna go to bed,” Y/N pushed herself up.

Leah launched herself from the bed and into Y/N’s side, pinning her arms in place in a tight bear hug, “I am so, so sorry Y/N.”

“it’s alright, really.”

“It’s not!” Leah pulled away but kept her grip on Y/N’s and forced her to face her, “you went through all of that alone and you let yourself be the bad guy when you shouldn’t have.”

Y/N tried to pull away only for Leah to tighten her grip, one hand clasping the back of her neck so they are forced to meet eyes, “I cannot apologize enough for how I have been to you, but I want to make it up to you.”

“You don’t need to make it up to me. I just want us to go back to being friends.”

The blonde eagerly nodded at that, letting Y/N pull away this time to settle into bed.

Leah rushed to complete her bedtime routine before sliding into her own bed. She settles on her side to look over at Y/N facing away from her, chest rising and falling steadily, fast asleep.

Incessant buzzing wakes Leah far too early the next morning. Y/N mutters soft swears while frantically trying to silence the device and hide the bright screen to avoid waking her roommate.

The buzzing stops as Y/N throws a hoodie on and is leaving the room as the buzzing starts again. Leah can hear Y/N speaking in the hallway now, she tries to stay awake to make sure everything is alright but sleep quickly wins. Y/N isn’t in the room when she wakes again a few hours later. She gets ready for team breakfast and sits on her bed, waiting for Y/N to return, before rushing out the room when she realizes she’ll be late otherwise.

Y/N is already seated at a table away from everyone when she gets downstairs. She has her knees tucked up on the edge of her chair with her chin resting on them and a coffee cup clasped in both hands against her chest. Even across the room, Leah can see how exhausted she looks.

After making a plate, she begins to make her way towards Y/N but is stopped by a hand tugging her to a stop. Jordan shaking her head ‘no’, telling her to leave Y/N alone for the time being. Leah looks back over, debating if she should listen or not. Sighing, she settles next to the midfielder. They’re friendship just starting to be repaired.

“She told you the truth about Sydney,” it isn’t a question.

Leah nods slowly, unsure why it matters.

“Did you say anything to Sydney when you found out?”

Nodding again slowly, “I texted her when Y/N went to sleep and said I was upset she hadn’t told me the truth.”

Jordan clenched her jaw and nodded too, “Sydney is pissed.”

Leah quickly pulled her phone out to see If she had missed a message, furrowing her brow when she hadn’t.

“Not at you. She’ll take it out on Y/N.”

Her eyes quickly shot over to Y/N. Y/N’s phone was face down on the table, but she was staring intensely at it.

“That was the phone call,” she realized.

The midfielder nodded, already seeming to know what the morning had been like for Y/N.

“Even though they broke up months ago, she still texts Y/N almost every day. She’s,” Jordan pauses while she considers her words, “cruel with everything she has to say.”

“What do you mean?”

Jordan glances around the table, when she sees no one is paying attention to them she continues, “at first, she was mad Y/N wouldn’t stay her friend. Then it was that she turned Rachel and me against her. But it’s mostly attacking anything about her; her looks, her career, mocks her for being single or being upset with what happened. She’s truly ruthless.”

Leah is disgusted when she hears what someone she considered a friend was doing to Y/N. Guilt settling deep in her gut at how wrong she had been about the whole situation. Jordan can see the thoughts she once had pass across Leah’s face while she watches Y/N toss her phone back down.

“Rach and I thought the same too. She was convincing when she told us what Y/N supposedly did, I think she believes it herself that she didn’t do anything wrong. She was confused when we didn’t understand how she had the house and a new girlfriend while Y/N was stuck in a hotel in a new city.”

“How long did she have to stay in a hotel once she got to London?”

“She’s still in a hotel,” Jordan shakes her head. She knew Y/N had been so battered down, that she didn’t think Arsenal would keep her around long enough to make a flat wroth it.

Fortunately, there isn’t much time during the day for players to be on their phones. But during the breaks they do have, Y/N slinks away from the group to skim her few new messages. Each time she returns to the group, Leah can see her force a smile on her face, convincing everyone around she is fine. She does manage to put on a good show of being alright, but Leah can see right through the fraudulent smile and forced laughs.

Y/N’s phone vibrates on the night stand that night while she goes through her nightly routine in the bathroom. Leah ignores the first message, only for several more to follow, glancing at the screen she sees Sydney’s name.

“Sorry, I meant to silence it,” Y/N apologizes, and she takes it off the nightstand.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” the defender dismisses her, “Jordan said she’s pretty mean. I didn’t know she still messaged you, if I had, I wouldn’t have texted her last night.”

Y/N glances at the blonde, nodding slowly, before shrugging her shoulders while she skimmed the new messages and typing out a short reply before tossing the phone onto the bed next to her.

“Jordan only read them because she thought I was seeing someone,” Y/N gave what almost looked like a genuine smile, “my phone kept going off while we were out once. She stole it, thinking she would get some juicy messages. Once she saw what the messages were, she went through most of them.”

“I know I have no place to ask this, but can I see them?”

Leah could see her tense and bite her lip, clearly considering the question.

“Why didn’t you ask me about what happened that night? Or trust that I would never do something like that?”

The blonde nodded, they were valid questions, questions she had been considering since the night before.

“She was damn convincing. You weren’t you that whole night, then she came back to the table crying and you were outside with some girl draped all over you. It was all so believable, she made it believable.”

Y/N risked a small glance towards the other bed. Leah had propped herself up on an elbow, staring intently at Y/N. She couldn’t quite read the expression on her face, a mixture of pity and guilt maybe.

“I never thought you could do something like that. And she was so convincing. I was just blinded by my anger that I let myself be fooled. I am so sorry that I let myself be tricked and ruined our friendship when I should have just asked you.”

The pity was gone, guilt settled across her face.

Y/N wordlessly handed her phone across the space between the beds. Leah pushed herself to take the phone, settling on her back to read the messages.

Leah read the most recent messages first, slowly working her way backwards. Reading the vile things Sydney had been sending Y/N throughout the day, Y/N offering short messages to amend her ex’s anger.

Y/N fixed her gaze to the ceiling, unwilling to see the blondes reaction as she read the messages, unwilling to see her agree with Sydney.

The phone dropped after a minute of her reading the messages, Leah unable to finish see anymore, disgusted with the things sent. The messages all varied in length, but they all attacked Y/N in every capacity that she could. She criticized anything she could to get a reaction from Y/N.

Leah pushed herself to hang her legs off the side of the bed. She didn’t know what to do with herself, didn’t know what emotion was the strongest right now. Part of her wanted to storm out of the hotel and confront Sydney. Part of her wanted to wrap Y/N in the tightest hug possible and mend all the broken pieces. All she could bring herself to do was sit with her head in her hands.

“I, Y/N, fuck,” she could only stutter out, “I don’t even know what to say. Those are, she’s, those are all so fucked.”

Y/N shrugged, “is what it is.”

“it’s not! What she’s saying is so wrong and fucked up!”

Anger overtaking as she stood up, harshly running her hand through her hair, “you need to block her!”

“I can’t,” Y/N whispered.

Leah just looked at her, mouth opening and closing.

“I blocked her on socials and she lost it. When I tried to block her number, she took it out on Rach and Jords, messaging them and all that. She left them alone when I unblocked her.”

She shook her head, Y/N continued to protect everyone but herself.

“They can handle themselves; you don’t need to protect them.”

Y/N stubbornly shook her head, refusing to accept that, “they don’t need to be part of this.”

Leah couldn’t believe Y/N was willing to continue to handle this all on her own. She sat herself on the edge of Y/N’s bed, gently placing a hand on her thigh, encouraging her make eye contact with her.

“I don’t have it in me to fight anymore, I never really did,” Y/N dropped her chin to her chest, shoulder rounded in, “I didn’t fight the breakup, I gave her the house, I didn’t fight anything she told people. I just want to be done with it.”

Her voice trembled, tipping her head back, hoping to keep the tears from falling.

“Looking back, I think she broke me down years ago.”

Leah’s heart ached as Y/N spoke, “I am so sorry Y/N.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“No, but I should have been there for you, I will be here for you.”

Leah eventually made her way back to her own bed, but sleep wouldn’t come, lying on her side watching Y/N tucked into herself. She couldn’t imagine how Y/N had handled the last months completely alone, while also having people viewing her as the bad guy in the story. Guilt rocked her, she was one of those people.

Y/N’s phone remained quiet the next day and Leah could see the relief it left Y/N with.

“You know, you and I are friends again,” Jordan spoke up when they were alone at their dinner table that night.

Leah furrowed her brow and slowly nodded, agreeing with the statement.

“It would be alright if anything started with the two of you,” Jordan gave her a small smile, “Gee told me how disappointed you were when Y/N started seeing Sydney a couple years ago.”

Leah blushed, anxiously running her thumb along her bottom lip, risking a glance to Y/N the table over. Jordan wasn’t wrong. She had been disappointed at the start of Y/N’s relationship. Her feeling had developed when Y/N had been such a good, supportive friend for both her and Jordan when they broke up, even before they broke up, supporting them when it became rocky.

It hadn’t been something she had expected to happen. She didn’t even know what it was that she was feeling, only realizing her attraction when Y/N excitedly told them about her new relationship at an international camp. The distress at the announcement, she immediately understood she was attracted.

“You would be really good for her. She needs someone to be good to her, and I think that’s you.”

“I didn’t even realize what I felt until I heard she was dating someone,” Leah felt a little defensive as she spoke.

Jordan was quick to place a reassuring hand on Leah’s arm, “it’s alright. I know it’s all new for you. And I’m not saying you should do anything about it. Just pointing out that you would be good for.”

Leah bashfully looked away, she would be lying if she said she hadn’t considered it at one point, she’d also be lying if she denied it being more than once.

“Last time I could get her to say anything about dating again, she said she swore it off because she doesn’t think she’s worth it anymore.”

The weight in her gut gets heavier the more she’s told about Y/N the last few months

“But I think she’s just waiting for someone to prove her wrong about it all.”

Leah is amazed at how easily Y/N can move past the months she had been treated so horribly. They easily return to being friends. The guilt is still weighing on her, but it eases slightly when she sees Y/N genuinely smile at her. Her attraction surging back to the front of her mind.

“Fuck!”

Leah rushes out of the bathroom when she hears Y/N’s phone hitting the wall. Y/N’s pacing aggressively, harshly running her fingers through her hair.

“What’s happened?” she picks up the phone, inspecting it to ensure it isn’t broken, placing it on the dresser.

“Arsenal cancelled my hotel room. I’m homeless when I get back to London.”

Leah jolts when Y/N kicks the bed.

“Good thing I don’t have any stuff to worry about,” she lets out a humourless laugh, kicking the bed a few more times.

After one last kick, Y/N crumples to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and tucking her head between them as sobs wracked her body. Leah rushes to her side, pulling her tight to her chest. Y/N doesn’t fight the action but keeps herself curled into herself.

“You weren’t supposed to find out that way.”

Y/N scrambles away.

“Shit, that sounds bad,” the blonde stays on the floor, “Arsenal cancelled your room because you’re going to move in with me. I was going to tell you once we got in bed, I just called them after dinner, I didn’t think they would tell you so fast.”

Y/N whirls around and stares down at the defender. Leah slowly pushes herself off the floor.

“You need a home Y/N, I want to give that to you,”

When Y/N doesn’t say anything, Leah frantically thinks of anything to say to fix it. Y/N crashes her body into Leah and the blonde can feel the tears soaking her shirt. She’s sure she’ll have bruises on her side where Y/N is gripping into her. Managing to pull a handout to rub up and down Y/N’s back as her sobs continue.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Y/N pulls away, using the sleeve of her hoodie to try and wipe the snot smeared on the blonde’s neck.

Leah shakes her head, batting the hand away to pull her back into her, “you don’t need to be sorry or say anything. Just come live with me. I have a spare room; I want you to come stay in It.” Once Y/N nods, Leah guides her to lay in her bed, tucking her in.

The first week living together is awkward. If it wasn’t for the meals left for Leah and the fact that they carpool to training, she would think Y/N wasn’t staying there. Y/N is the perfect house guest, Leah’s house cleaner than when she moved in. But other than seeing her in passing, Leah hardly saw her new roommate.

Leah grabs Y/N’s arm immediately when they walk through the door, preventing her from running away.

“This your home now, too. You don’t need to hide in your room. Unpack, eat meals with me, shower here,” she emphasized, knowing Y/N hadn’t even showered at the flat yet, only showering at the training facility.

Y/N shrunk under Leah’s stare. She had been doing her best to remain as out of site at possible, whatever she could to avoid upsetting the blonde, “I wanted to stay out of your way.”

“And I want you in my way.”

Y/N shook her head, not understanding what she meant.

“I want you to live your life and feel comfortable.”

The next few weeks, Y/N does make an effort to leave her room more, making Leah smile. Y/N waits to eat her meals with Leah now, leaves a pair of shoes by the door, shower products along the tub edge.

“I blocked her,” she whispers between bites at breakfast, “Rach and Jordan did too.”

Leah lets her fork clatter to table as Y/N spoke.

“I am so, so proud of you Y/N,” she grips Y/N’s wrist across the table, her smile wide as her eyes crinkle.

Y/N just shrugs and continues to eat, but Leah keeps her hand where it is with her thumb rubbing across her wrist, picking up her fork to eat with her other hand.

This was a sign Y/N was healing, moving past the torment her ex had been putting her through for months. Y/N was moving in the right direction. Maybe Jordan was right, maybe she was the person Y/N needed to fix all her broken pieces.

“Have you thought of dating again?” Leah risked. She knew pursuing Y/N would require a lot of patience and understanding.

“A little bit, but not in the way you think,” Y/N harshly bit her lip, Leah wishing she could tug it away to safety, “I’m too broken to date, I think. No one wants to be with someone this ruined.”

Leah couldn’t imagine the pain Y/N must constantly be in to think so poorly of herself, to think that she was too damaged and undeserving of someone to be loved.

“You are not a reflection of people who couldn’t love you properly,” Leah’s grip tightens until Y/N makes eye contact with her, “I am sorry Sydney loved you so poorly and made you think you took up space you didn’t deserve and abandoned you and hurt you so badly you think love is an awful thing.”

Worried Y/N will start bleeding if she bites any harder on her lip, Leah does use her thumb to tug it out. She can feel it tremble under the pad of her thumb as she slowly drags it across the flesh.

Y/N runs her tongue over her lip when Leah’s thumb is gone, Leah’s steely eyes tracking the motion. She wanted to run away, worried she might do something and risk moving too fast. Leaving now though would ruin all the work she had done to regain Y/N’s trust.

Leah continues to show Y/N what love is. Opening her car door when they leave for training. Always letting her choose the show they watch. She attempts breakfast, bacon and eggs, but they ultimately end with cereal when she burns both. She increases physical contact; sitting close enough they touch on the couch, hand grazing her back as she walks past, tucking hair behind her ears.

Y/N adores all of it. But it makes her panic. She won’t go through all of this again. Won’t have someone show her love and care, only to rip it all away from her.

So, she runs away. Retreats back into her room. Goes back to leaving meals for the blonde to eat, leaving before the blonde wakes up, meeting her at training.

Leah stands outside Y/N’s room after training, so she knows Y/N’s in there. But this room has been her one safe space since moving in, the blonde doesn’t want to take that away from Y/N, doesn’t want her to feel trapped.

Steeling herself, she knocks on the door, three quick raps.

Y/N doesn’t look surprised when she opens the door. Just opens the door and shuffles back. Leah can see her bags packed on the floor next to the bed and the bed neatly made.

Choosing to ignore the bags for now, Leah settles on the edge of the bed, “I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I really like you and I was hoping I could ease you into idea of being in a relationship again. Unpack your things, I’ll back off.”

“I liked it,” Y/N whispers, sitting next to Leah, “but, I’m not the guy that gets the girl, no happy ending.”

“You already got the girl though,” Leah’s voice is soft as she speaks, “we can have the happy ending.”

“We can have the happy ending?’

“Not for a long time though, because we have to have a happy everything else first.”

Y/N tugs ones of Leah’s hands in her lap and rests head on her shoulder. Leah drops a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine

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poisonheiress · 1 year ago

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Vivziepop's ability to decay any women and fem-aligned characters she creates has always haunted Helluva Boss, and as a result, limits them to being one dimensional characters that fall into a "with them or against them" mentality when it comes to her male characters; they only exists to prop up other (male) characters or to serve as morally bankrupt villains.

From Verosika to Stella to Loona and Millie, this trend is clear from the beginning of the show and likely will follow it to the end. However, for this post I will discuss the recent victims of this trend: the lovely Glitz and Glam.

To be honest, I adore Glitz and Glam (to the point of writing fan fiction for them) and they have become my favorite characters in the entire show so this discussion will show some bias towards them. While some may say its too early for this call as they will be seen again, but from what I've seen on twitter from fans and even creators of their song alike, I do not have the hope this will occur.

From the beginning, Glitz and Glam are looked down on for their desire to win and for doing anything they can to get that position. When confronted with Fizz's kind words of support, they look down on him and further emphasize how they are going to win against him even gaining the title of "snatches" and "sluts" by Blitzo. From this moment forward, its clear the narrative doesn't want us to look kindly upon the sisters. After all, they are being "bitches" to Fizzarolli and competing against him in a manner that pushes him further and further into a breakdown. The fact that Fizz's relationship with Mammon and self esteem issues are not their fault is shown as irrelevant to both the audience and their creators.

This isn't made better by their song writers' commentary on twitter on how the glam sisters are perverting the true nature of clowning and that their song shows how they are simply wanting to get Mammon's attention by feeding into the financial and sexual exploitation (even saying that they want this to happen). This commentary solidifies the idea that they are not someone we should root for especially since they are allying themselves with Mammon, a horrific, abusive asshole.

While I expect this level of dismissal and honestly misogynistic writing from Helluva boss, I can't help but be extremely agitated by it and the reason why was made clear recently: the narrative acts as if the Glam sisters are doing this for out of selfish desire alone, as if they are terrorizing Fizz for no good reason. But that's simply not true, and even Vivzie's canon supports me here.

The Glam sisters are hellborn demons, only one rank higher than the imps. This means that while they may be treated better, they still are not treated as full citizens like sinners are, and in a dog eat dog world like Hell, kindness is not something they can afford.

Getting this position with Mammon is a life changing deal, something Fizz is proof of. Yes, it is as exploitative as it is lucrative for the individual, but this is Hell (as Vivzie likes to claim) and opportunities like this are something many would die and kill for.

So at the end of the day, I cannot help but be confused why the narrative punishes and looks down on Glitz and Glam for taking some crumb of control back from the system and accepting their objectification with open arms as long as they are rightly compensated for it. Why does even their (albeit catchy) song look down on them for doing whatever it takes to survive in Hell? After all, they would be exploited anyway, right? It's what Hell lives on.

In a class system like Vivzie claims to have, the glam sisters are a prime example of the kind of oppressed vs oppressed the system creates, but instead of trying to understand them or even see them as morally complex, they are simply the slutty female antagonists who are corrupting the sanctity of hell clowns simply because they don't clown for the sake of clowning. Whatever complexity they could have, even if it is beneficial to the entirety of the show, is worthless compared to their narrative propping for Vivzie's favored characters. But it doesn't surprise me. After all, what else is a women is Helluva Boss good for if not to support the main male cast.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss glitz and glam #If there are no Glitz and Glam defenders left then I am dead #please ask me about my glitz and glam things #i will even write an x reader #I will write so many things just ask please #helluva boss season 2 #helluva boss #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critical #fizzarolli

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lacrimosathedark · 6 months ago

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There's something that's bothering me about Alastor

I noticed something about Alastor's magic.

So Alastor's magic has either a red or green color at any given time.

Usually, it's green.

But, occasionally, it is red.

It's always red in flashbacks, and the two other times it appears red, Alastor is being intentionally threatening. It also may correlate to his shadow being active.

My concern with the green comes, partially, from this.

The bright green of his magic is the same as those stitching his mouth and arm. (Also now I'm worried his arm was ripped off at some point)

This could entirely be a stylistic choice, but if his magic only started being mainly green recently, maybe it has something to do with his deal.

Alastor's mouth being sewn shut and could mean he can't talk about his deal, or otherwise relate to being forced to smile.

I also think this because the spooky ghosty motif is also green, and might be representative of souls, in regards to Alastor at least, considering this:

and that Husk's leash is green too.

He also repeatedly rejects offers of collecting souls.

Rosie: Ya know, Alastor. I got a primo connect on a guy with about eight blocks of territory and not enough goons to run it. Prime pickins for a deal to be made, my friend. Alastor: Appreciate the offer, but we're here on business of another kind.

Gaining souls is how Sinners get stronger it seems. And we know he's not opposed to collecting souls as he already owns Husk and Niffty. So part of his deal could stipulate that he can't collect more souls for one reason or another.

What had me thinking, and what really worries me, is this.

The shield he makes in The Show Must Go On sticks out to me. Because the base of it is shadows, and there's that eye motif that is likely indicative of Roo. All of that is black outlined in red. But the veves are all outlined green, and there's this green mist near the base of the dome. Why are the symbols green but the eyes and other crack-like shadows aren't?

I think it might be possible that Alastor had a deal of some sort with Roo almost as soon as he got to Hell. But more recently, he has a new deal, one that limits him in some way, and likely one that forced him to the Hotel if Roo herself didn't order him to. And it's likely got something to do with Lilith, given their absences of the past seven years coinciding and then Alastor returning and going straight to Lilith's daughter.

Whatever this deal is, it limits his abilities. His figurative wings are clipped.

But this raises more questions for me. If he made some sort of deal with Roo or another entity for power, but he still owned his soul, what did he trade in the first place?

If he had so much power already, what would he have to gain from a deal that limits his strength and growth so much, especially at the cost of his own freedom? His own soul?

Who is this new contract with? Roo? Lilith? Eve? And why?

That also leads me to question, are he and Lilith allies or enemies?

Can your soul be owned between multiple parties if they make a deal with each other? Like, if Roo owned his soul and made a deal with Lilith to effectively share ownership, would that work? And what would that mean for them?

And, quite frankly, why Alastor? Was it convenience? Was it his connection to Roo?

This is in conjunction with something I noticed about those eyes that are all over Pride.

They don't appear naturally in any other Rings. (<- explanation under the cut now) And the motif only happens in two places.

There's Loo Loo Land in the Greed Ring.

Which, I'll remind you, is apparently a knock-off of a theme park Lucifer made, Lucifer's domain being Pride where these eyes are naturally occurring. Meaning the eye motif is probably just more mimicry. Especially since they aren't even red.

And then there's one room in Millie's family's house in Wrath.

It's obviously just a design, since none of them move and they look pretty flat, but that stylistic motif is present. The wide red eyes and black shadow tendrils.

And it reminded me of something.

Martha: Satan! We return your FILTHY creatures back to the pits of Hell! May the Root of Evil remain honored as we continue thy work!

If you look around during these scenes, you see a lot of eye imagery, both carved into the pole and scattered about the trees. And then on the top of the pole is Roo's emblem.

So, like, there's some kind of human cult around the Root of All Evil. Enough that the emblem is known.

Martha specifies Satan, who is the Sin of Wrath, where Imps originate. Wrath is the only place there's imagery outside of Pride and Pride-adjacent areas (Loo Loo Land being a knock-off would be just replicating)

So, like...does Wrath or Satan have some kind of connection to Roo??? I mean, Lucifer and Satan are often mushed into one character but are separate here, so maybe it's just human error? Or maybe Roo has some kind of connection with Satan but her influence doesn't extend beyond Pride? I saw somewhere that Imps tend to treat Satan like a god (and they say shit like "oh my Satan" instead of "oh my god") but do they also worship Roo maybe? Or does Satan somehow serve her?

And one of the few places in Pride free of Roo's eyes (to my knowledge at least) is Cannibal Town.

Where everyone's eyes are black voids.

Idk I'm tired and Alastor's whole deal has my head spinning in circles if I'm honest. And I needed to get it out somewhere.

EDIT WITH MINOR THE FULL MOON SPOILERS BECAUSE FUCK ME

I STAND GODDAMN CORRECTED ROO IS ACTIVE IN THE FUCKING LUST RING

I COULDN'T WAIT LIKE TWO FUCKING DAYS GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

WHEN THE FUCK DID THOSE EYES GET THERE?!

Did the DHORKs testing their portal give her an in to other Rings? cuz it also looked like she was fucking them up.

Which, btw, fucking YIKES

#Hazbin Hotel #Helluva Boss #Alastor's Deal #Roo-t of All Evil #Alastor the Radio Demon #Hazbin Hotel Theory #Helluva Boss Theory #THE FULL MOON SPOILERS

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updownlately · 1 year ago

Text

make me yours my love (cause you’re nobody to me, yet somebody to me)

| alessia russo x reader | fluff (tooth-rotting fluff) | 4.5k | a/n: heard a song from another language, got obsessed with it, translated it to english, and wrote a fic. ended up losing the plot half way through and bs-ed the rest over the course of a week. anyways, i hate it, here you go.

~~~

You had never thought you’d leave North America. It was where you grew up. Where you’d had your best and worst times. It was home.

And when you had moved to Seattle from Vancouver to join the OL Reign, you thought that playing in the NWSL would be your greatest achievement, never expecting anything outrageous to occur, never daring to entertain the idea that you would ever venture any farther away from home. Thus, you clearly didn’t account for your hard work to actually pay off and for you to attract the attention of European clubs with the likes of Manchester City, Aston Villa, or Manchester United.

Even with your hesitance on leaving the continent, you had accepted United's offer almost as soon as it had come through, only waiting to double check with Sue and Megan on what their thoughts were. Of course the two women you saw as parental figures had freaked out on your behalf. They didn’t need to say it verbally but with the way they supported you as you virtually signed the contract and got ready to move showed you how incredibly proud they were of you for not only continuing to rise to a higher level in your career, but for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

But when the offer to extend your single year contract into a three year came, however, it wasn’t Sue, Megan, or anyone else back home who played a role in your decision. Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly as some of the training staff would say, it was your United teammates that unknowingly convinced you to stay.

In the single year you had spent with them, they had welcomed you with open arms, taking you in as one of their own.

Zelem and Mary had become your unofficial team moms, making sure you never got into too much trouble whilst Tooney, Millie, Leah, and the other girls had practically become your sisters. And of course, you had Alessia. Sweet, clumsy, back heel queen Alessia had become one of your closest friends in the new city, her being one of the only few people your introverted self had felt fully comfortable around.

You never understood why or how you were able to so quickly feel so relaxed around the tall girl, you typically being quite shy and reserved with new people, but you definitely weren’t complaining.

Moving countries, much less continents, was never easy, but with Alessia beside you since day one, it had never been too difficult.

Since the day that you had awkwardly waved hi to the United girls and attended your first official WSL practice, Alessia hadn’t left your side once. In fact, within the first few weeks of you being in England, the rest of the girls had established that wherever Alessia was, you were and vice versa, one rarely being found without the other.

Through the homesickness, loneliness, anxiety, and at one point, even depression, she had been there next to you. Be it picking you up and dropping you off from practice, bringing over home cooked meals, or tours around the city, she’d been your rock as you struggled but finally adjusted to being alone again.

And when city tours turned into trying new restaurants together and her dropping off home cooked meals led to bi-weekly movie nights with Alessia’s heavenly dinners or take out, you both never acknowledged how much you cared for each other. Really though, you didn’t have to. A blind person could feel the love that you both radiated for each other.

It was spoken through the way Alessia had become less clumsy over the months, with you now there to catch her. To pull her aside before she could crash into a defensive training dummy. To ensure that her laces were tied and she was aware every time the ground was raised or there was a kerb to watch out for.

Alessia told you she cared when she’d hold you tightly against her chest, after every hard game, practice, or just day. The height difference between your 5’3'' and her 5’9'' was near comical but neither of you minded. If anything, in your opinion, it just made the hugs better since you could bury your face in her neck and block out the world for a few minutes. If Alessia minded, she surely didn’t say a word to you. You didn’t know it but if Alessia was completely honest to herself, she truly loved when you’d hug her. She absolutely adored the way you’d hide your face as you’d hug her, you standing on your tiptoes to comfortably rest your head in the crook of her neck, letting only her see you break, trusting her so easily, warming her heart each time.

You’d whisper the depths of your care when you’d let her lean on you during your movie nights, carding your fingers through her hair when you knew she was on the brink of sleep. In the way you’d slowly manoeuvre both yourself and her into a more comfortable position, her often ending up curled up on top of you, not that you minded at all, welcoming her warmth. How you’d ignore the inevitable stiff neck you would always wake up with since you’d always watch movies in the living room. In your eyes, the pain was always going to be worth seeing the blonde hugging you tightly whilst she slept on your chest.

The star striker would whisper her care ever so softly, staying on call with you during the nights where you missed Seattle a bit too much. When she’d bring you your favourite coffee the next morning, knowing that you’d be tired from your mind running the night before. When she’d drive you to practise, putting on your favourite playlists for the fatigue ridden ride, without you so much as having to ask, her knowing you almost as well as she knew herself.

You both had eventually become so close that even Tooney joked that she should move out and retire from being Alessia's best friend now that you were here for the title. You had simply laughed in response, knowing that at the end of the day, at the end of the month, at the end of the season, even though she was just your teammate at United, she was also simply your favourite person in Manchester (and possibly England, and maybe, just maybe, even in the whole world).

You weren’t someone to really believe in love, having had to witness almost every romantic relationship around you crash and burn, save for Binoe (bless them). So when Alessia clumsily toppled into your life, you didn’t expect that she’d make a home in the cracks of your broken heart. You didn’t expect for her to line the streets of your heart with cosy buildings of every delightful colour known to mankind. You didn’t expect for your heart to flutter like a butterfly each time she was near, the euphoria of having her close nearly causing your feet to grow wings, placing you on cloud nine.

She had your heart and you had no idea when she had taken or how she had taken it, but she had. The way her eyes would crinkle as she laughed had wrapped its threads around your soul. The way she’d have to lean down to hug most of her teammates, you included, and she’d never complain, doing so without being asked, restored your faith in the world. The way her smile would rival the warmth and brightness of the morning sun on your worst days had you smiling softly by yourself as you couldn’t help but stare at her, the only star that you would gladly let damage your eyesight.

While to everyone else she was just your teammate and friend, to you she was so much more. She wasn’t yours but she was something to you, somebody to you, and you hoped to god that you’d never lose her.

It’s funny looking back at when you first realised you were in love with the blonde. It had taken you almost half a year to register that you wanted more than a friendly relationship with her. You remember the exact moment so vividly, having replayed it over and over again in your mind as you lay on your bed, gently begging whatever higher deity existed to make your dreams a reality.

You both, as well as the rest of the team, had just finished a gruelling late training session and Alessia had somehow managed to convince you to let her come around so both of you could make pasta from scratch. You were unbearably tired, not having slept well the night before and the request to postpone the plan was on the tip of your tongue. However, you had made the mistake of looking up from your training bag and right into the bright blue eyes of the taller girl just as you were about to say no, and instead, you (embarrassingly easily, might you add) were persuaded to do nothing but hum in agreement to Alessia’s request.

So once she had picked up the necessary ingredients whilst you waited, trying and failing to nap in the car, and you both had made it to your flat, she had begun flitting around your kitchen, already at home in your house.

You were sitting on the counter, banned from helping due to your tiredness, contentedly watching the partially-Italian woman as she stirred the pasta sauce she had made, that the thought of this scene being ever-present for the rest of your life had briefly crossed your mind. However, you had waved it off at that time, blaming the exhaustion in your bones for your delusional feelings. It had worked and you had forgotten about your yearning for a few seconds, until Alessia had switched the stove off, turned to you, and had taken in your drowsy appearance.

Wordlessly, she had bridged the gap of a few feet between you and gently pulled you towards the edge of the island, pushing apart your legs and bringing her arms to gently wrap around your midsection. It was as she slotted herself perfectly in the space she had created, nudging your head to rest comfortably in the crook of her neck, that you inhaled a deep sigh and let yourself relax, sinking into the hug. As your mind finally began to slow down, the circles Alessia was rubbing on your back calming you quickly, the whole situation hit you.

Here you were, in the arms of your best friend, after she had just finished cooking you dinner, and was holding you so gently, reading you like a book, providing you with the comfort you needed to finally rest. If you didn’t know any better, you would say that Alessia was currently peak girlfriend material - hell even possibly wifey material. Tired and relaxed, this time when the thought of being the only one who Alessia would treat so perfectly like this for the rest of her life came across your heart, you let it warm you, indulging in the loveliness of being cared for.

You had known then, that the blonde irrevocably had your heart, and you were helpless to do anything about it. You were nothing but putty in her hands, your fate lying in hers.

From that point on, you had made it your goal to love Alessia the best you could, regardless of whether she loved you back or not.

As days and months went on, you two got even closer, if that was even possible. If you had thought that both of you were close before, the present put the past to incredulous shame. Your morning routine now definitively consisted of picking up Alessia before morning training and other team events and driving the proud ‘passenger princess’, as you liked to call her, to grab breakfast and head to practice, Tooney joining you two once in a blue moon. Bi-weekly movie nights had become weekly occurrences, and her dropping off home cooked meals turned into you both cooking together in your tiny kitchen most nights.

Telling Alessia you had extended your contract had been one of your favourite moments of the postseason. With her due to play for United another two years too (totally not a deciding factor in your renewal at all), the idea of her getting to spend the remainder of her contract playing not only with Tooney, Mary, and many of the other close friends she’d made, but with you as well excited her unfathomably. The blonde hadn’t stopped smiling for a week straight, and you had a feeling that if she had gone even a single day longer than she had, her face would’ve frozen with her blinding smile stuck permanently.

You knew then, you were a goner for her, for that smile, for the comfort she gave you, her hugs that healed you. You knew you’d give her all of you without taking anything in return, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care either. You’d give her the world if she asked, all it would take for you to do so is her saying the words, no qualms on your end. You knew that be it as a friend or a lover, you wanted to be the cause of her smiles, her laughs at everything stupid, and the reason her eyes would sparkle with joy. You knew that you wanted her, you just didn’t know she wanted you too.

So caught up in your own head, in your own yearning for the taller girl, you never noticed the longing stares or the blush that would coat her cheeks each time you were near. You never questioned why she’d hug you significantly longer than anyone else, even Tooney or her own mother. You completely, almost idiotically obliviously missed the way she’d go out of her way to make you comfortable, how she had made it her priority as much as you had made it to ensure that her smile would stay.

The two of you danced around each other for months without knowing, two threads dangling from the sky, tangling so effortlessly, yet making no move to separate. You two were bound together unknowingly, without a title, without it being something, without a label. You both were each other's nobody’s, the “no-one special”, yet both of you were silently craving to be each other’s somebody. All you needed really was for the other to make you theirs, the pair of you too scared to accidentally overstep and risk losing the other completely.

At the end, it only took the two of you just over a year and a half before the two of you made any move towards dating.

It was a chilly mid February day. You had gotten injured that morning, hurting your ankle quite severely and Alessia had so graciously offered to crash with you for a few nights to help you out. You had once again, familiarly, found yourself situated by your island, slumped on the counter, painkillers from the hospital coursing you through your veins, as Alessia cooked for you.

While the sight had become more common to you over the past handful of months, it never got old. The way she’d (for once) gracefully move around, opening your cabinets and rummaging through your pantry and fridge with familiarity and ease, in her element, swaying gently to yours and hers shared playlist you had playing on your speaker. The way her hair was tied back yet a few strands always seemed to spill through, framing her face perfectly. How the heat from the stoves had her cheeks tinted, ever so slightly strawberry red. How absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous she looked bathed in the soft golden lighting of your house, a house that turned into a home whenever she was there.

This time, instead of shying away from watching her as you usually would, you let yourself indulge, eyes tracing the way her arms would flex as she chopped the necessary ingredients, as she used the bench scraper to toss everything into the sizzling pan. You admired the way your old oversized hoodie fit her absolutely perfectly, your last name sitting prettily on her back, as if that sweatshirt was meant to be hers.

You’d been so caught up in your unabashed staring that you didn’t realise Alessia had turned to face you, ladle in hand, the other on her hip, a single eyebrow raised in amusement.

“You didn��t hear a word I said, did you?” she teased.

“Definitely did. Something about dinner and it being ready?” You jested, hoping that your obvious guess was at least somewhat close.

“You’re lucky you’re attractive, and half a decent defender…otherwise I wouldn’t be cooking for you y’know.” The way Alessia smirked as your cheeks heated up told you that the striker knew exactly what she was doing, winking at you before laughing and turning around. “Anyways, like I was saying, the doc said you’re probably going to feel really drowsy once the meds wear off, though the pain should definitely be gone. I’m thinking once dinner’s done, we can just go crash in your room, put on a movie or something so I don’t have to carry you around when you knock out? I’m clumsy enough on my own, I don’t need to be holding another person to test it,” she continued.

“Good with me. Plus, at least you’re self-aware enough to know that you are a walking Bambi. It’s honestly a miracle that you aren’t constantly wrapped in bubble wrap at this point.”

“Okay just for that comment, I’m picking the movie and I’m not giving you my hoodie.”

“That’s not fair, I’m drugged up right now. If anything, that’s abuse. You’re torturing a helpless individual,” you mumble as you lay your head on the cool surface of the island.

“Definitely torturing you by cooking you supper and not giving you my hoodie… and as I let you rest since you’re injured and doped up, right?” You could only groan in response to her logic, pouting at not being able to come up with a response.

As Alessia continued to move around your kitchen, finishing up on dinner and plating the food, you went back to observing her. You studied the way she tried the stir fry, taking a bite before scrunching her face adorably and adding more ingredients to fix whatever she thought was lacking. You watched her as she finally decided everything was ready, as she sweetly plated food for you first, handing it to you, before doing so for herself. You smiled, fascinated with the way her body moved as grabbed waters for the both of you, entranced by the ease in her movement.

You were distracted throughout the whole dinner, mumbling responses, missing questions. You blamed it on the medications and fatigue when the forward beside you asked if you were okay, but in actuality your mind couldn’t help but constantly wander to imagining what it would be like if this was your life. If dinners with Alessia could be your future. If movie nights in your bed, you in her hoodie could be a regular occurrence. You knew you’d thought it before, the ideas were nothing new to you, but you had never craved it this bad before, never wanted it more than right now.

You’d been so lost in your thoughts you hadn’t noticed Alessia grabbing your dishes or her own, nor her loading the dishwasher. It was only when she had stepped in front of you that you snapped out of your reverie.

“You sure you’re okay? You seem really out of it…you know I’ve got you right?”

When you fail to meet her eyes immediately, she cradles your face in her hands, one on either side of your jaw, gently tilting your head back to meet her eyes. Her worried eyes scan your face and then the rest of your body, trying to pinpoint something, anything that could have been the cause of your dip in mood.

“Seriously, what’s going on? You were fine just a little while ago. Is it your ankle? Is the pain back? The doctor said the medication would wear off around midnight but if it’s wearing off right now we can call the hospi-”

Shaking your head amusedly at her worried rambling, you cut her off before she forgot how to breathe. “Less I’m fine.”

“Bull. You haven’t said more than 5 words ever since I asked about watching a movie. Oh my gosh, is this about how I said I’m picking the movie? ‘Cause if so, you can totally pick, I swear. I was just teasing. And… and of course you can have my hoodie too. I promise I was just joking. I didn’t mean t-”

“Alessia,” you stated firmly, a slight frown returning to your face when it was her who now couldn’t look at you.

Sensing her anxiety, you reach out for the blonde, hands finding home on her hips, squeezing gently, just enough to get her to finally stop scanning your body for injuries and instead look at you.

“I’m fine, I promise. Just been thinking, that’s all.”

“About? What’s got you so distracted? If it’s the injury, we both know you’ll be back in no time. I don’t mind sticking around to help around while you’re recovering. I’d be happy to help you know? I don’t mind. Plus-”

“Less, it’s not the injury. I don’t care about the recovery. I’ve already accepted that I won’t be playing for a few weeks. Stop worrying, okay? It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal, yeah right…” she scoffs, her hands moving to your shoulders. “Are you actually not going to tell me what’s going on? What’s bothering you? Was it something I did? Is that why you’re not telling me? If I messed up I’ll fix it okay? I'd rather fix it than lose you. Please. Please tell me what’s going on so I can fix it.”

It was in the next few moments that you contemplated whether it would be worth it. Whether potentially destroying your friendship with the blonde that you’ve been in love with since you met her over a year and half ago would be worth the risk of telling her and outing yourself. You considered pretending everything was fine, to make up some excuse using your newly acquired injury or something about the fans and the pressure, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t lie to her. You couldn’t be dishonest. Not when you looked up and saw the care and concern etched in her face, wrinkles scattered across, creases from distress that you had caused.

You figured that if anything, if, no when, when she told you she didn’t feel the same, you could take the next few weeks you had off for healing and rehab to get over her. It wouldn’t be so bad right? You could take those three weeks to heal your ankle and your heart, and then you could go back to being Alessia’s best friend again.

“Hey, I promise I won’t judge alright? Whatever it is, it’s safe with me, I swear on football,” came the gentle voice from the girl towering above you.

You waited a second before looking up, taking a deep sigh in, revelling in the peace before the chaos that you knew was going to come after. Looking in her eyes, you audibly swallowed, before closing your own.

“I’m in love with you. Have been for ages now, and it’s killing me. It’s killing me to see you in my kitchen, at my house, making it a home. It’s killing me to have you cuddle into me when I know I can’t pull you closer at every chance. It’s physically breaking me when I can’t walk up to you in my kitchen and kiss you to thank you for cooking for me, for taking care of me. It’s hurting me when I know that there’s probably going to come a day where you find someone else and I’m left here with your ghost. It terrifies me that I’m nobody to you but you’re somebody to me.” Your voice cracks in the last sentence and you pray to whatever God existed that she couldn’t hear your heart quietly cracking too.

When a minute passes in complete silence, and then another, you dare to open your eyes. Taking a shaky breath in, you don’t know what to make of the sight in front of you. There, Alessia stands, in all her glory, your hands still on her hips, her head tilted back, eyes glazed over, on the verge of tears.

Your heart’s breaking further with each second that passes and you mentally prepare yourself for the rejection that’s incoming.

“Please say something. Please…”

A beat passes. Then two, before Alessia finally looks back down at you, a lone tear falling from her eyes, one that she quickly wipes away, a smile on her face. “Took you long enough to catch up.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. The possibility of your dreams becoming a reality never seemed plausible to you. “Less, don't play. Please,” you beg.

“You were never nobody to me idiot. You weren’t ever nothing to me. You’ve been somebody to me since I met you y’know? You’ve had my heart since you walked onto the training pitch, looking like a lost kid.”

“Honest?” You asked, just to make sure you weren’t hearing things, that she actually liked you back, that you weren’t dreaming. When Alessia nodded in return, you couldn’t help but smile, your grin stretching from ear to ear.

Wiping the few tears that had made their way down your face, you moved your hands to wrap around the other girl, pulling her close to you, hugging her tightly. You tucked your head into the chest, her arms wrapping around your neck, your beaming smile hidden in the cloth of her sweatshirt.

“Let me make you mine? Go on a date with me?” The blonde quietly asked, kissing the top of your head.

This time, it was your turn to nod. You did so energetically, practically vibrating with happiness, twin grins adorning both yours and Alessia’s face.

You couldn’t ever fathom the idea of leaving Canada as a child, yet now, all grown up, on your own, you’d never been more glad you had left. That you had allowed yourself the opportunity to find a new home, one that you found here, in the arms of Alessia Russo.

You’d spent months thinking you weren’t anybody to her, and now? Now you knew you were somebody to her. That you weren’t alone this whole time. That she wanted to make you hers all along.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #alessia russo imagine #alessia russo x reader #woso fanfics #fluff #x reader #reader insert #my writing #fic #mmyml #alessia russo

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watcherintheweyr · 6 months ago

Note

Can they make a post with their opinion on young alicent please? (English is not my first language, I hope I used the pronouns correctly. If not, I apologize)

Hello! I’m sorry this took me so long, I had written out this entire response and somehow tumblr fucking ate it.

So for starters, you didn’t quite get the pronoun use right, but that’s totally fine and I really appreciate you trying! Pronouns and the english language are a bitch to learn. So when someone’s pronouns are ‘they/them’ those pronouns only replace gendered pronouns- (he/his/he’s/she/her/hers/she’s). Non gendered pronouns (you/your/you’re/yours) are entirely fine. So this would’ve been ‘Can you make a post with your opinion on young Alicent?’. If you were then to talk about me, it’d be ‘I asked watcherintheweyr to make a post about their opinion on young Alicent’ or ‘Watcherintheweyr made a post explaining their thoughts on young Alicent because I asked them.’

Don’t feel bad pls- the English language is a total bitch, and genuinely you put more effort into trying to get it right than a lot of native english speakers who I interact with. And I really do appreciate it.

anyways, on to your question!

So while I have a lot of sympathy for young Alicent in a lot of ways- I don’t like her, and I never did. For starters, I absolutely despise that the show isolated Rhaenyra and made Alicent her only friend and companion, which was untrue in the books and also makes no sense for how royalty works. Rhaenyra, as the only princess, would’ve have a sizeable ‘household’ of young ladies around her age. Those girls would’ve been essentially her helpers and her companions- she would’ve been in lessons alongside them, and they would’ve worked together in matters of court, politics, and events. Canonically she had a gaggle of young girls she was very close to- to the point that when (SPOILERS) Rhaenyra is murdered by Aegon, her ‘youngest and gentlest’ lady, Elinda Massey, purportedly gouges out her eyes from the trauma and horror.

Also, I despise that Laena Velaryon’s story and importance in Rhaenyra’s life was sacrificed for Alicent Hightower- including their deeply hinted romantic connection.

Anyways, moving on. Alicent Hightower.

Ultimately, I think that Alicent is a tragic example of what happens when you buy into oppressive regimes- further and enable them because you think you’ll be rewarded for sacrificing others to those regimes, and realize far too late that you won’t. She has 100% bought into the Faith of the Seven and Otto and Westeros’ sexism, and she serves that system in the hope that she’ll be rewarded for it, for playing by the rules and sabotaging the power and autonomy of other women- especially Rhaenyra. And all the seeds and groundwork are THERE from episode one if you pay attention. Alicent is a self-righteous hypocrite and not nearly as intelligent as she thinks she is- and she is also a victim of Otto, Viserys, and the patriarchy. I also think she was never a good friend to Rhaenyra- and that she never really knew Rhaenyra.

(This post is going to be VERY long, so buckle up)

In episode one, we see very quickly that Alicent doesn’t understand Rhaenyra well, if at all. She makes the comment that Rhaenyra is ‘disagreeable’ when she’s worried- and is promptly baffled that Rhaenyra’s worry is not her position or about being ‘overshadowed’ for a son- that Rhaenyra genuinely hopes her father will get the son he’s wanted for her entire life, and that her only true worry is her mother. Emma D’Arcy and Milly Alcock both press that Rhaenyra is fully aware that due to her gender that she isn’t ‘enough’ for her parents or the realm, that she’s seen as lacking or deficient. Alicent doesn’t seem at all aware of this. Furthermore, Alicent’s question is… Odd. At this point in the story, Rhaenyra is only ‘a’ princess. She isn’t the heir- Daemon is. The only ‘overshadowing’ that could occur is Viserys’ already fleeting and inconsistent ‘love’ becoming even less present. And Rhaenyra is already expecting this; but Alicent presses more of Rhaenyra’s ‘position’.

Now bear in mind- in the past 10 years, 14 year old Rhaenyra has had to watch her father insist on and continually risk her mother’s life and health, and she’s had to mourn 5 siblings- some born, others not. So Rhaenyra being ‘disagreeable’ when she’s worried makes sense. But when she doesn’t budge on not wanting to talk about/prioritize her ‘position’, Alicent gets huffy and makes to leave. She then appears to be entirely stunned when Rhaenyra verbatim recites the current passage of history that they are learning from their Septa. This piece of information is given to us to set up and establish Rhaenyra’s clever mind and interest in learning- of the 5 episodes we have of Young!Rhaenyra, she is shown to be actively listening to and learning from her superiors in just about all of them, reading and learning from books in 3 of them, and utilizing courtly intrigue, manners, and speak in 3 of them to shut down opponents or disrespect. And yet Alicent is entirely taken aback by Rhaenyra doing this; which again lends itself to the idea that she doesn’t actually know Rhaenyra very well. In the script, at the end of the episode, it’s also expressed that Alicent doesn’t seem to understand Rhaenyra being stressed/worried about her investiture as heir- in her eyes, Rhaenyra now has everything anyone could want. Meanwhile, Rhaenyra has now been revealed the truth of why Aegon conquered the seven kingdoms- and has now been entrusted with learning to rule and govern the kingdoms, and to nurture and protect the legacy meant to fulfill this prophecy- and she is shown to be very aware of and affected by the weight of this.

Alicent, meanwhile, has become a pawn in her father’s bid for power, and a victim to his ambitions, and to Viserys’ sexism and passivity.

In episode 2, Alicent has been seeing Viserys in secret for six months- and notably, it’s 6 months into their meetings that Viserys expresses that he wishes for her not to tell Rhaenyra, as he doesn’t think she would ‘understand’. We see that she is harming herself and Otto doesn’t appear to care about it in any way more meaningful than why she would do so when she’s the most beautiful girl at court- a thing to be envied and admired. We also in this episode see how fully she has bought into the realm and the Faith’s sexism. When Rhaenyra comes to Alicent about her fears of the plots of the lords to marry her father off again now that his period of mourning is coming to an end, and as such they would be plotting to supplant her. She is struggling, because it’s shown that she is trying to act as heir, to learn and participate- because she WANTS this, wants to be heir, wants to do it and do it well- but Otto undermines and humiliates her, and Viserys simply lets it happen- practically enables it. She expresses her fears of these plots and her frustrations and desire to be the heir, to be more and grasp for more than she would’ve ever been allowed as ‘Viserys’ little girl’.

And Alicent’s response is to dismiss Rhaenyra’s fears- to tell her friend and the named heir to the throne that it ‘isnt their place to question the plots of kings and men’. Because Alicent does not believe women can or should hold genuine power- like she says in episode 9, women are meant to ‘gently guide those who [rule]’. And she does this while she is actively a part of one of those very plots that Rhaenyra fears. Now, bear in mind; I am fully aware that Alicent is a victim to her father’s ambitions, and Viserys’ complicity. It’s not Alicent’s fault what these men do to her. And it’s understandable why Alicent wouldn’t want to tell Rhaenyra, in a lot of ways.

That doesn’t change that both Alicent AND Viserys broke Rhaenyra’s trust and hurt her- and she is shown later to be trying to create distance from them- because they have both shown that Rhaenyra cannot trust them. Viserys because he’s self-serving and blind, and Alicent because her ultimate loyalty and obeisance will always be to her father, not Rhaenyra. And Rhaenyra is keenly aware of this after the reveal, even though it is never made clear to Rhaenyra that Alicent wasn’t seeing Viserys in secret of her own volition. That doesn’t change that for six months, since the *night* of Aemma’s funeral, Alicent was seeing Viserys in secret, whilst dismissing Rhaenyra’s fears of that exact sort of plot to her face. That doesn’t change the fact that Rhaenyra has every right to feel hurt, feel betrayed, and not want anything to do with Alicent- or Viserys, beyond what she cannot avoid.

On a note that’s entirely personal, while I know that Alicent was attempting to share something important to her with Rhaenyra in an attempt to help her feel better, to me, Alicent having Rhaenyra partake of her faith felt… strange. Rhaenyra, who named the dragon she shared a cradle with after a goddess of Old Valyria and who has no idea how to pray in a Sept to the Seven, clearly either is not religious or follows Valyrian faiths- and considering her Valyrian marriage to Daemon, it’s likely the latter. Personally- I would not want a friend of mine to try and have me participate in their religion, and I wouldn’t push them to participate in mine either. For me, that was just uncomfortable; but again that’s a purely personal issue.

In episode 3, we see these traits of Alicent’s repeat, as well as her inability to introspect or consider someone else’s feelings. Immediately in the Godswood she uses her ‘weight’ as queen to disregard Rhaenyra attempting create space and distance between them. And while yes it was on command from the King- the way Alicent does it is almost… Smug. She then attempts to tell Rhaenyra that ‘things need not be this way’- as Rhaenyra, upset, goes to change and ready herself for the hunt, despite the fact that this is the last place she wishes to be. Alicent is upset at the loss of her friend, and likely lonely- but she disregards Rhaenyra’s feelings entirely. This is further compounded by the scene in the carriage.

Despite the fact that she and Alicent are not friends, nor truly even speaking, Rhaenyra, who watched her mother struggle and suffer pregnancies, and lose multiple babes and her life, expresses concern that Alicent is traveling in her condition. In an incredibly clumsy attempt to soothe her concerns, Alicent makes the comment that ‘Aegon came quickly and without fuss.’ Again; i understand that this was a very clumsy attempt to ease Rhaenyra’s worry, however everyone in that carriage sees how poorly the comment lands, and Alicent makes no attempt at apology. ‘Aegon came quickly and without fuss’ is.. very insensitive to say to the girl that lost her mother to the childbed, and especially when you are quite literally sitting in that mother’s place- when you’ve replaced her because her last child killed her and died alongside her. If she had made any attempt at apology (the way Rhaenyra did when she saw a comment she made while expressing her frustrations hurt Alicent in e.4), that would be one thing; but she doesn’t.

Rhaenyra is heir- and canonically the only duty she has balked at is marriage. She is currently desperately holding on to being ‘the heir’ with everything she has- because it is all she has, the only thing that doesn’t make her replaceable with the new family that Viserys is building with Alicent- and as such it’s understandable that she doesn’t wish to go to Aegon’s second Name-day celebration, as she is keenly aware of the thing Viserys is blind to and that Alicent is passive to; the realm considers a 2 year old boy child more valuable and more worthy than the 17 year old princess who has actively been learning to be and acting as heir for three years at this point. Alicent’s uncle, Hobart Hightower, welcomes them by crying out ‘All Hail Aegon the Conqueror-Babe, second of his name!’ and neither Viserys nor Alicent does anything. Hobart is not corrected, nor taken to task, and the crown is rabidly enamored with the two year old child all because his genitalia makes him more ‘valuable’ than Rhaenyra. By calling Aegon ‘second of his name’ Hobart is saying the quiet part out loud- the realm all expects and wants for Aegon to be heir, for Rhaenyra to be set aside. Alicent is the queen- but she doesn’t care enough to correct her uncle, either because she does already think her son should be heir or because she doesn’t think it’s a woman’s place to correct a man.

Later in this same episode, she gives an incredibly half-hearted defense of Rhaenyra when Otto begins to speak literal treason- but she does bend to his will yet again, and goes to Viserys with the intent of pushing Aegon’s claim. She is aware in *episode 3* that her father is conspiring against Rhaenyra’s ascension, and she never says a word of it to Viserys or Rhaenyra, because she is Otto’s creature first, and because she agrees- Rhaenyra is a woman, and thus cannot and should not rule.

Episode 4 and 5 really bring Alicent’s hypocrisy and self-centeredness to a head and set the stage for the cruel abuser that she becomes. She is the story of a victim-turned abuser, in the end.

It starts out more positively, with Alicent and Rhaenyra attempting to rekindle their friendship, and discussing Rhaenyra’s tour. Alicent expresses an almost childish lack of understanding of the truth of Rhaenyra’s courtship tour- calling it romantic, seeing it as something dreamlike. Rhaenyra exposes the cold truth of it- after we had earlier seen that none of the options she’s offered (that we see) are actually suitable. She uses courtly manners and speak to have Lord Dondarrion essentially take himself out of the running, by getting him to speak of his age and simply agreeing with him- and is then presented with a literal child. She is fully aware that every man ‘courting’ her doesn’t love her, doesn’t want HER. They want her valyrian blood. They want their children to be dragonriders. They want proximity to the throne and power. Rhaenyra has to choose a consort; and the consequences if she chooses wrong are disastrous. She could choose a man who turns her into what Viserys did to Alicent and Aemma, she could choose a man who utilizes Westerosi patriarchal views and values and turns her into a puppet queen so that he has the actual power, or she could choose a man who is, ultimately, weak- and thus would not be able to support her claim, would not be able to support or defend her when she ascends. She expresses these frustrations- but when she sees one of her comments hurts Alicent, she immediately holds her hand and squeezes in an attempt at comfort and apology.

Alicent expresses that she has found that she has few friends, lately; and this comment is.. Interesting, in what it says of Alicent. That even at the height of female power in the realm, she cannot inspire loyalty or affection in those around her, that the only prospect she has for a friend is her childhood companion. Rhaenyra expresses a hope to grow closer again as well; but well.

Immediately we shift to the scene in the Godswood where Alicent confronts Rhaenyra with her father’s accusations. She comes into the confrontation immediately condescending and judgemental, looking down on Rhaenyra’s rebellious and adventurous nature, as well as her ‘queer Targaryen customs’, and the ‘crimes’ of which she is accused. Because remember; at this point, Alicent has bought entirely into the way the realm and the Faith views women; women who follow the rules, subservient and obedient, never reaching for more, sacrificing and doing their duty, are good, should be rewarded. Anything else is morally deficient, wrong, lesser. Given this and how she approaches the conversation; it is entirely understandable that Rhaenyra doesn’t trust Alicent, and relies on misdirection and her mother’s memory as well as their former closeness to protect herself, because through this entire conversation, it is obvious that if she knew the truth, Alicent *would not protect Rhaenyra.*

Now remember, Alicent speaks with Viserys in ‘defense’ of Rhaenyra- and she knows FULLY well that Viserys doesn’t believe that nothing happened, that Rhaenyra is restless, chaotic, and willful, and that she would have done as she pleases. (Made worse by Viserys bemoaning that Rhaenyra is ‘just a girl’ when 5 years ago he married Alicent and has had 2 children by her at this point and will have 2 more- plus he has been pushing and pressuring for Rhaenyra to marry for at least 3 of those years.)

Later, when Otto is dismissed, Alicent states what we all know to be true; he got himself into this position, because he kept pushing for Aegon to be made heir, to the point of committing treason and spying on the princess, salivating for a moment where she misbehaves that he can use against her. Here we see Alicent begin to believe the seeds Otto has been planting; that Rhaenyra would kill her siblings to secure her ascension. (Remember, the whole reason of the juxtaposition between the boar and the white stag in episode.3 is to directly contradict this. Rhaenyra attacks and kills the boar only because it harmed her and her knight. Killing the white stag would have helped her- it would have made the lords of Westeros see her as chosen, especially since she caught and killed it the day AFTER Aegon’s name day, and it revealed itself to HER [symbolizing that yes, Rhaenyra is the rightful heir and the RIGHT heir]. Killing it would have given her legitimacy beyond legitimacy and silenced MANY of the tongues that are conspiring against her. However she shows it mercy- despite the fact that its’ death would have served her) Despite having once ‘loved’ Rhaenyra, and ‘known’ her, somehow these lies make sense to Alicent and she believes them. (Furthermore, she somehow is shocked in ep.9 that the reverse is true- that to secure Aegon’s ascension, the easiest and most acceptable route to all the men around her who wield the true power, is to kill Rhaenyra and all of her children).

When later Larys mentions the delivery of a tea to Rhaenyra’s chambers on orders of the king (despite, again, her KNOWING that Viserys doesn’t believe nothing happened) she decides to look further into the matter; even though clearly Viserys wishes it dead and buried, left behind in the dust of her father’s departure of the capitol.

In ep.5, when Alicent discovers that Criston Cole slept with Rhaenyra, it all comes to a head. Despite the fact that Rhaenyra didn’t ‘lie’ (she did not sleep with Daemon), in this moment, Rhaenyra has solidified herself in Alicent’s mind as morally deficient, as less, and it infuriates her. The fact that Rhaenyra has taken charge of ehr body and autonomy in a way that Alicent would never have dared infuriates her; because a part of her had always accepted and even wished for what she assumed would be the order of things. That Rhaenyra would ‘sacrifice and do her duty’ and lay down to suffer the whims and wills of the men around them at Alicent’s side. That they would be united in that suffering. That they would be defanged and declawed the way the Faith extolls women must be, to ‘gently guide’ the men in power alongside them. (Ironic considering how later Alicent utterly fails in ‘guiding’ every man in power around her.)

Alicent has followed every rule and every tradition, does her duty no matter the discomfort, and the fact that Rhaenyra is daring to grasp for more, for power of her own, for happiness and autonomy, and isn’t being punished for it infuriates her. Infuriates her to the point that only Rhaenyra’s trasngression matters. To her, it doesn’t matter that Criston Cole broke his vows and slept with the princess because he valued desire over duty (as explicitly stated by Fabien and by ep.4’s directors)- he is a man. Only Rhaenyra must be punished. It doesn’t matter to her that Rhaenyra has bowed to her father’s will and that the choice of who she will be marry has been taken away from her so that he can use her to fix the political wounds he has caused; from this point forward, nothing Rhaenyra ever does will be enough for Alicent. Supplying heirs to the throne and Driftmark? Not enough- especially since Rhaenyra doesn’t assault her gay husband to do so. Acting as heir and putting forth wise, responsible suggestions in politics and problem-solving in the small council? Absolutely not, especially since in Alicent’s mind Rhaenyra has no business ruling over the men in the Small Council. Ruling from the heir’s seat of Dragonstone in preparation for the throne? Not enough. Offering apology when the poison that Alicent has been feeding her children about Rhaenyra and her children causes a fight between the children where her son is injured after throwing around death threats and claimed a dragon without the King’s leave (which IS established to be necessary in Jaehaerys’ reign) Not enough- she must have Lucerys’ eye as well. From this point on, *nothing Rhaenyra can or will do will ever be enough.*

And the irony is that her own hypocrisy never takes herself into account. She uses a dress to declare war at a wedding; insulting the Velaryons and her stepdaughter, and she faces no consequences for doing so, nothing for the disrespect- but only Rhaenyra ‘never’ faces consequences, right? Criston Cole murders a knight of the kingdoms and strikes the future king-consort to the Kingdoms- and Alicent protects him from every consequence, brings him into her own household as her own sworn knight.

In essence; young Alicent is a victim of the Faith, the Patriarchy and the men around her; but all of the seeds for the abuser that she becomes are there. She’s a hypocrite, blind to anything that doesn’t fit the narrative she wishes for, and to a degree, very narcissistic, and not as clever or as powerful as she thinks she is.

Mind you her being self-serving or self-absorbed isn’t some unforgivable crime; but in juxtaposition to how Rhaenyra expresses concern and care for her at multiple points, it just sits very poorly, for me.

Moving on;

Alicent, when younger is… Deeply interesting, deeply flawed, and incredibly tragic. Her younger self sets the stage for how her story ends; (SPOILERS) with her outliving all her children and grandchildren, all of them dead for her grudges and ambition, with her mad and alone.

She’s also, in some ways, very clever; she’s observant, knowing much of the court gossip, even potentially dangerous secrets in e.1 (speaking of that one Lady’s ‘swollen belly’ aka suspected pregnancy). She’s very duty-oriented, though mostly because she wants to be rewarded for how dutiful she is. She’s subservient to the men around her due to how Otto uses her, and short-sighted. I don’t think she’s a particularly kind individual, but I think she did have the POTENTIAL to be kind. She’s a little boy-obsessed- she was confirmed to have had a crush on Daemon and on Criston, plus how she viewed the courtship tour as ‘romantic’, but she’s also so obsessed with Rhaenyra that it blinds her to the truth both of herself and of Rhaenyra- obsessed with an image of Rhaenyra that isn’t actually the truth. She takes solace in her Faith, it seems, more than anything else, and she struggles to connect to people around her in meaningful ways. She has moments of deep insight- such as how she told Rhaenyra that any effort in hers and Viserys’ relationship would have to come from Rhaenyra, as Viserys, a man, is useless to ‘the language of girls’. She doesn’t like risks (no interest in flying with Rhaenyra) or adrenaline, and likely pursues only more ‘feminine’ pursuits- canonically we know Rhaenyra loves to ride horses and to fly Syrax, to hawk and hunt, loves fashion- even in the book I’d say Rhaenyra is a ‘fashionable’ tomboy in a lot of ways. But we don’t really know.. ANY hobbies of Alicent’s. We don’t know her passions, we don’t know her interests outside of the Faith and the ambitions of her family.

We don’t know her relationships with her children or motherhood- though we know she’s jealous of what a good mother Rhaenyra is.

Honestly it’s a shame. S1 really needed to be 20 eps- 10 with the younger versions of Alicent and Rhaenyra, and 10 with the older. It would’ve let us KNOW the characters more and get far more invested in their fates.

Anyways this… is a novel. But I hope I answered your question alright lmao. I think Alicent as a character is very interesting- but good lord I don’t like her, and yeah I didn’t like her younger version either.

#anti alicent hightower stans #anti alicent hightower #anti alicent #pro rhaenyra targaryen #anti team green stans #anti team green #pro team black #i’m. not gonna tag this w character names bc i Know the alicent stans will come for me en masse and i’m not about that life #hotd critical

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chaifootsteps · 3 months ago

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Can…can I just point out how the closest we’ve gotten to two women in either Helluverse series having a genuine argument with each other where they bring up an issue between them, state both their sides on the matter, acknowledge both sides, and then reach a shared conclusion within the same interaction was the argument between Millie and her sister, Sallie Mae? Oh, and the fact that that interaction only occurred in a short that exists OUTSIDE of the main series’ storyline? I’m sorry, but W H A T ? While important in itself, THAT relationship is the most sincere depiction of real-world interpersonal conflict that ended in a positive MUTUAL resolution between ANY of the women characters in either show?!? Correct me if I’m wrong, but there is NO equivalent conversation OR sense of closure around a previous conversation between any other women characters. Meanwhile, we have seen those kinds of full-circle arguments that led into healthy resolutions between Blitz and Moxxie, Blitz and Fizz, and Fizz and Asmodeus! Oh, and if you’re wondering how the arguments between Luna and Via or Charlie and Vaggie relate to that, I’m gonna come straight out and admit that I am not including those for what is most likely very biased logic:

Firstly, Luna and Via were never arguing about EACH OTHER, they were arguing about their perspectives on their personal familial relationships outside of each other. So, since their problem was never WITH the other person, I don’t put it on the same level as the Millie and Sallie Mae argument.

Secondly, I fully acknowledge that there have been a few occasions where Charlie and Vaggie had a mostly grounded and shared dialogue about a specific issue, but I guess I just don’t put much weight behind any of those previous conversations after watching episode 7 where they just straight up DIDN’T TALK WHATSOEVER about the big reveal that Vaggie is an ex-exorcist or what that meant for their relationship. It would be one thing if Charlie talked her feelings through with others and THEN spoke with Vaggie with a clearer head, but that talk with Vaggie DOESN’T HAPPEN.

Of course, if I’m forgetting any other fully developed women-women conversations in either series, please feel free to correct me, because I’m telling the truth when I say I would be HAPPY to be proven wrong!

I think you're right. Most conflicts between female Viv characters (and male Viv characters, let's be honest) are either swept under the rug immediately or are resolved by both characters screaming and screaming and screaming and then it's swept under the rug.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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bylrlve · 6 months ago

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Warning! Spoilers for Stranger Things Season 5!

1.) (El talking) ‘what if you prefer us more as/than friends’ (note: each denotes a very different mindset in el than the other)

2.) (El talks) well, if we win/live, we can have a happily ever after

3.) (El talks) No. You should have (I am 99% certain of this considering what I can reasonably say I know about the hospital)

4.) (you should have been there?) but so much has happened, if it’s too much, you know…

5.) if it’s too much, you know… Will was with me…. you’re all friends to me

6.) so it’s okay, yes!

7.) El says something beginning with ‘but what if’)

8.) Of of course, you can X with me, whatever you’d like! - El seems to laugh at this. Perhaps Mike exaggerates her original words?

9.) but I mean…whatever happens… shrug

Notes:

I was running these for comparison against a partial m*leven transcript I’ve seen on twitter. The only plausible line,as far as I can see, is their reading of the first one as “but what if something happens to the both of us?” They read the next line as “… whatever happens, happens” and I can kind of see it but overall I think his mouth is too busy. They posited he was proposing running away or leaving Hawkins after everything ends and framed it around that, but I don’t agree with the choices they made - eg “I will come with you” instead of what I see: “of course you can still…with me”

The ‘Will’ part is obviously the part I’m least sure of. I’m really just conjecturing based on leaks. The best I can say is that I’ve checked it against clips of Mike saying Will’s name and it looks roughly the same but not conclusive. I am quite sure of ‘you’re all friends to me’.

I used @byler-endgayme’s excellent AI enhanced video here and put it into gifrun to make these gifs. It’s important to note that, between takes, Millie was wiping her eyes and nose. She was on a roof in January so she could have just been tearing up (and her nose running) from the cold. Finn doesn’t seem affected in the video here (from @cloudycleric) but women do have lower basal body temperatures than men. However, she could also have been tearing up in-character as Millie, suggesting it’s an emotional and heavy/cathartic scene. It’s also very important to note that this video is catching them in the middle of the conversation, and that there’s undoubtedly crucial stuff at the start that we’re not privy to.

It’s also worth noting that m*leven have had problems in episode 2s since season 2 - El reaching out to touch Mike and him walking away from the call, their breakup, and their disastrous roller rink date. Atlanta-filming insinuates in a comment that this occurs after the hospital plot in episode 2, and I will be discussing all of that in a big post out later today - and I have discussed it here already. The TLDR is that Mike is injured at the hospital and Will shows up distraught, but El is nowhere to be found - hence, why I’m reasonably confident that what he says is “no, you should have, you should have been there…”

#byler #mike wheeler #el and mike #el hopper #st5 leaks #st5 spoilers #stranger things 5 spoilers #stranger things 5 leaks

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pinkandpurple360 · 2 months ago

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“All Blitzøs relationships are transactions” counterpoints.

Uh, no. You guys are seriously making no sense. He is used to having his familial and friend relationships partially take place in a work environment. But he still loves people unconditionally outside of work. The ‘endgame’ is stolas becoming a receptionist so this headcanon that he’s the exception is plain false.

Stolas has always been the one who asks for a ‘special requests’, protection, favours, rescue, finding Via, performing on stage, some type of an ‘exchange’. Not Blitzø. He stole from him which is not a transaction, then stolas turned it into one. Sex.

Even in this crystal confession, he is giving Blitzø a gift in exchange for staying with him and providing for Stolas’ romantic fantasies, wants, and desires, for free. And if Blitzø isn’t willing to give him what he wants, he quickly replaces him with a new better qualified man who can.

Blitzø doesn’t believe stolas truly loves him, he believes he just satisfies Stolas’ romcom fantasies. And he’s completely right. Stolas just wants “someone” in his rebuttal he didn’t mention transaction a single time.

That crystal was him trying to buy his love.

This is still his dad outside of work. Nothing changes that.

This is still his best friend, past and present, with nothing to do with work. They do not have a give and take between them. As kids Blitzø really wasn’t good at his job, but Fizz didn’t care. As adults Fizz didn’t ask Blitzø to be his bodyguard, he chose to be.

His two most cherished people, his mother and sister, he was not in a transaction with either of them. As they are working class, they had to be employed to support their family. If you guys think that’s a non genuine transactional relationship, then you have a very skewed privileged worldview.

His sister even now, is not in a transaction with him. She’s his sister no matter what and he wants to make sure she’s okay and to help her. Do you think he breaks into her rehab facility to get money?

Moxxie and Millie, he may feel like they wouldn’t want to be around him if not for being paid. But the opposite clearly isn’t true. He continuously approaches them outside of work, in Harvest Moon the first people he thinks of when he’s presented with a day off work for fun, is the two of them. Millie also allows him and Moxxie to stay at her parents home on the night off. That’s not transaction. If it was she’d ask him to pay for it. Both sides willingly spend time with each other outside work.

And the BIGGEST counterpoint of them all: Loona.

He gains practically nothing by keeping her around. Adopting her was his choice. She is hostile to him but he loves her anyway.

She is bad at her job, but despite that, despite not earning him anything, despite not gaining anything via transaction, he refuses to leave her or ever replace her. The thought sickens him and enrages him.

All of his romantic/sexual exes were also not ‘transactional’. He dated Verosika in his own words, he wasn’t her sex worker and she wasn’t his.

He simply doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a rich guy where he does all the taking as a pampered sugar baby and none of the giving. That’s because he’s independent, not that he can’t conceptualise relationships unless it’s for work. That’s evidently not the case.

TLDR;

For others, transaction of money occurred, but there was still a bond of personal intimacy there. For stolas, the intimacy was the currency. He is the only one who has ever requested intimacy itself as a service. He never stopped asking for it, he just provided a large gift then asked for more intimacy for free from now on, in exchange. That’s why it simply cannot be compared to the others.

He’s the only one who was buying his affection and that has left him feeling very violated and very confused.

#helluva boss #helluva boss critical #also. Viv probably likes that post because ‘stolitz’ is under a lot of heat right now. so any post that makes it sound nice. she’ll consume.#stolitz is a product she wants to sell you. not a story.

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helluva-shit-show · 1 year ago

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So I was re-watching "Oops" grabbing some screenshots for a different rant when it occurred to me, damn, Striker really should not have been in this episode. I know it's not a hot-take, lots of ppl have said this already, but I mean even for the way the writers want the show to go, right down to tone, they really botched an opportunity. I'll let someone else talk about how Striker working with Crimson makes both antagonists so much less intimidating, right now I'm just gonna focus on the narrative so far, and unfortunately for a lot of critics of the main ship it's pushing, this will have a lot to do with Stolitz.

So when we first meet Striker, it's in "The Harvest Moon Festival". The episode starts with Stolas inviting Blitz and the gang to be his royal guests at said festival. Blitz makes him promise it's neither murder work nor a sex thing and Stolas agrees. This is (to the audience's knowledge) the first time Stolas has invited Blitz out to be seen together publicly without any strings attached. He's not being bought, he's not acting as a bodyguard, and he's not expected to bang anyone at the end of the day.

Blitz meets Striker, Striker boosts up Blitz's ego immediately, they enter the pain games together, split the win, have a general good time, and at some point off screen, Blitz offers Striker a job at I.M.P.

And then Blitz catches Striker trying to kill Stolas. He's pissed, but not as pissed as he gets when Striker almost causes him to shoot Moxxie.

Blitz bites the man and puts a hole through the wall during the fight. They really go at it, it's a pretty intense fight, and you can really feel the rage in Blitz during it.

Putting a pin in Stiker for a minute, let's skip to the next episode, "Truth Seekers" we get a peek into Blitz's headspace surrounding Stolas. He feels chained to Stolas, but through his expressions during the staircase climb, it feels like he wants it to be more than just transactional. Well, at the least, hopes it can be more. Stolas swoops in at the end of the episode and (not without belittling Blitz verbally) saves Blitz and the people he most cares about. And then Stolas asks for a "reward". This 100% highlights Blitz's torn feelings. Does he let himself believe the care is real, or is it just for sex at the end? Well...

He got his answer didn't he? Stolas doesn't stand up to Ozzie for him. He doesn't make a clear statement that Blitz is more than just a cheap lay. And that hurts.

At the end of the night Blitz can barely get the words out to set a boundary for himself.

The next time we see these two interact is in "Seeing Stars". Do we get to see the resolve of the night at Ozzie's? Nope. But something has clearly changed since then, bc not only does Blitz show genuine concern for Stolas and try to reassure him, at one point, briefly, he's even receptive to Stolas's flirting again.

Two episodes later, Striker is back. Blitz very much so has complicated feelings surrounding Stolas at this point, but he shows not just concern, but both fear and rage again at the thought of Striker harming Stolas.

One could definitely argue at this point that this is about his means to continue his business and source of income and that of his employees, but there is something to be said about him almost cancelling Loona's doctor appointment to go save the rotten owl. Loona is always Blitz's first priority, and though a single vaccine might seem small in comparison to a life, if it really took five years for an appointment, that could be his daughter's life as well, assuming "hellbies" is just rabies but it's in hell. He thought about it. He was ready to turn the car around when Millie and Moxxie stepped in.

And even though Striker got majorly character assassinated in the episode, he tore up Stolas really bad. Him and his angelic weapons do carry real stakes with them, however much they want to make him a joke character. (Again, such a waste of potential)

With the narrative we know the writers are going with, Blitz does care about Stolas. The realization he can get hurt is probably shocking and terrifying to Blitz. He'd probably both be angry with himself for not going, but getting to the original point, he'd probably be furious at Striker.

Now I know Helluva has a huge tone issue. Is it a comedy? A lot of the time, yeah. Is it a drama? There's definitely drama in it. Romance? Highly debatable. Horror? I mean, it does take place in literal hell, so. Action? It's mixed in there too.

Personally though, I would like to think that the next time Blitz saw Striker, he'd tear him to shreds. I'd think the tone would be on the more serious side. He's hurt Millie and Moxxie very badly in Harvest Moon, he's hurt Stolas to the point he was hospitalized, that's three of the four people Blitz is currently close with. Narratively speaking, Striker could easily be Blitz's main external antagonist. It works both from a more action based tone, but also if you want to push Stolitz, which we know they do. And yet...

He's just an irritation for Blitz.

He didn't need to be there, it could have just been Crimson and his sharks. Would it have felt weird having him be a stand alone villain again just 3 episodes after he was first introduced, sure. But not any weirder than Stella's personal hitman looking for work in Greed and just happening to find it with said Mafia boss.

I know this was a Blitz/Fizz episode, I get that, I'm not complaining about that, hell, it literally could have been just them figuring their shit out together. But that just makes it even more glaring that Striker shouldn't have been there. This wasn't about him, this wasn't for him.

He's cowboy themed, right? And he's given Blitz plenty of reason to beat the absolute shit out of him? After hurting Stolas like that, (narratively speaking) his next showdown with Blitz should have been some high noon duel shit. Blitz rocked the vest in Harvest Moon, just give him the duel revolvers and start counting steps.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss #helluva boss blitz #blitzø #striker #helluva striker #helluva boss critique #stolas #helluva stolas #Stolitz #helluva stolitz #helluva stella #helluva crimson #crimson knolastname

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wc-confessions · 7 months ago

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Although I may probably be going quite (a bit) too far for saying this - about the people who state this certain thing about Blossomfall, - but-

I honestly think that people who believe that Blossomfall is being immature for being jealous of Briarlight by stating “she’s an adult now, she doesn’t need her mother’s attention and support” just -

Feels like they have at least a bit of a mindset of those type of people who believe that once a teenager turns into a 18 year old, they must AUTOMATICALLY and/or IMMEDIATELY know how to physically, mentally and/or even financially know how to be fully independent and take care of themselves completely alone.

(possibly maybe even having a bit of a similar mindset to some of those parents who kick their child out of the house immediately when they turn 18 years old expecting them to be perfectly fine automatically living on their own (with 0 help?!))

And is someone who just recently turned 18, this belief about recently legal adults is honestly quite untrue.

And is especially true for Blossomfall’s case, considering the fact that she isn’t even moving away to live independently from her family - because she lives within a Clan, which has (at most) around a “small” group of 20-30 people - cats - within it. The place that Blossomfall lives with is the place that she’ll STAY and live within for the entirety of her life, as well living with the people she grew up with - including her mother, Millie.

So the fact that Millie is neglected to see her daughters within a small tightened community - heck, a small tightened group - that they’ll live within for the entirety - or at least, the majority - of their lives, making Millie neglect even MORE impacting and/or noticeable for Blossomfall to experience compared than the average person. Something that’s also hard to ignore when you live and work around and/or with your family members on an everyday basis.

And the fact that Briarlight became disabled when she, Bumblestripe and/or Blossomfall were RECENT adults, making the neglect a bit more impactful, considering the fact it started to occur when Blossomfall was only JUST legally came out of teenage-hood and occurred when she was still quite young, which is QUITE different compared to if the neglect occurred when she was like… around the age of a 25 - 30 year old person I suppose.

Also the fact that Blossomfall shows systems and/or signs of being a “glass child” - feeling and/or being completely or mostly ignored, while their sibling gets all of the affection and love - which is something that can happen in real life, especially with children those parents put more effort and/or love into seeing and/or taking care of their disabled children than their able-bodied children.

Plus - at the very least, from what I heard about her - Blossomfall KNOWS and/or is AWARE that her jealousy towards her sisters is “negative” and/or “irrational” to the point that she literally believed she had deserved to go to literal kitty cat H*LL for it. Over a situation - neglect - that her own mother decided to do, which is something that’s NOT Blossomfall and any of her sibling’s fault.

And while yes, Millie does, care about her Briarlight, her disabled daughter and knows that she may need special care for her disability - that does NOT excuse Millie for NOT giving Blossomfall and Bumblestripe love and affection when she’s able so, let alone within a small tightened community where her children live with and/or around her daily will feel more impacted by her neglect that’s quite noticeable to the people Blossomfall lives around.

And the fact that Millie treatment of Briarlight and her disability is NOT good and is even ableist (at times), which is a WHOLE other (and worser) can of worms itself.

*sighs* Look, I’m not trying to bring back the (past) mindset of the fandom EXTREMELY hating Millie for neglecting Blossomfall.

I’m trying to state that Blossomfall maybe quite a bit over-hated for reacting to Millie neglecting her and her brother within a tightened small group/community, even regardless of how irrational her jealousy towards her sister is. To the point that I wanted to inform people about it within this confession.

So…yeah. Thank you for reading my confession about Blossomfall, and I hope that you at least thought it was a quite interesting confession to read about.

#text #confession #anonymous #warrior cats #blossomfall

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sissytobitch10seconds · 5 months ago

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Care For You

Fandom: Helluva Boss Summary: Fizz gets worried when his friend hasn't messaged him back in a couple of days. This ends up being the best thing that he could ever decide as it leads to a catalyst of things that improve everyone's lives. Warnings: Not Stolas Goetia friendly, canonical quid pro quo rape, severe mental health issues, BDSM, crying during sex, and intersex imps Word Count: 11,885 Ship(s): Asmodeus/Fizzarolli/Blitzo Buckzo

Archive link!

A/N: Alright, before we get into this I want to make one thing very clear: THIS IS NOT A STOLAS GOETIA FRIENDLY FIC. He is going to be depicted as the abuser and rapist that he currently is in the show, so if you're a Stolas fan then this is definitely not for you. That being said, I think that this fic is going to be very cathartic for some Blitz lovers such as myself. I hope that you all enjoy it! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Three days.

Three days had passed since his last interaction with Stolas and all the complicated feelings that had gone with that. Three days had passed since he’d said more than a single word of explanation to anyone. Three days had gone by since he’d spent the last of the money on his credit card trying to wow a person with sex only to be immediately shot down. Three days had gone by since he’d had anything to drink other than alcohol and the water Loona had tricked him into drinking on the second night. Three days had gone by since he’d eaten anything substantial, more than candy in the middle of the night when he woke up hungover. Three days had gone by since he had felt at all like himself.

He wasn’t sure if Millie and Moxxie had come by to ask him what they were meant to do for work, if they had any questions. The darkness in the back of his mind that he had worked so hard to keep at bay was reminding him that they had done just fine on the last couple of missions that he had sent them on when their office was overstuffed with sinners that needed his attention. They didn’t need him for their job, he had send the crystal with them after giving Loona the barest explanation that he could.

The door to their apartment began to open as soon as his mind focused on his daughter. He assumed that she had come home earlier than usual with something for them to eat or he had simply forgotten what time it was. He sat up on the couch so that he could try to force himself to smile and greeting so that she wouldn’t complain about him being as weird as he had been the last couple of days.

When he turned his head to look over the back of his couch, he was met with two figures that were very much not his daughter. A spike of panic rushed through him as he began to worry that he had gotten caught by the cops traveling up to the human world illegally and was now going to have to face the Hellish court like Stolas had always reminded him he would have to if caught. It took a second for his mind to properly process the fact that it was none other than Fizz and Ozzie standing inside his apartment, arguing with each other quietly.

“What… what are you guys doing here?” he asked nervously as he rose from the couch. It was harder for him to fall back into that black place of pain when his entire body was fueled with nothing more than adrenaline and panic. He didn’t know how his best friend had managed to find his apartment, much less why he had showed up with his royal boyfriend in tow.

“We hadn’t heard from you in a while. I expected to get all the juicy deets and there was just… nothing,” Fizz shrugged.

Blitz sank back down into the spot he had been before. “There’s nothing to tell,” he grumbled out.

“This place reeks,” Ozzie commented softly as he walked further into the living room. He took a slow look around before his gaze finally settled onto Blitz. They just stared at each other for a long while, taking in what the other person looked like.

Blitz had always known that the sins and other upper level demons could change their forms, but it had never occurred to him that Ozzie could change so much while still being completely identifiable as himself. He was the same height and size as a normal succubus or incubus, with a pair of curved horns that stretched up from his head. His hair was no longer made out of fire, though it did glow when he turned his head and caught the light a certain way. Instead, it was woven back into several thick braids on the back of his head that extended far down his back. The Ram and Bull that usually copied his facial motions had taken the form of beads on the two braids that hung on either side of his face. The shape of his face was less birdlike and more humanoid, perfectly puffy lips and heavy eyes that looked like he had just had the best time blowing someone’s back out. He was wearing something that worked for this form but would have been so strange to see him in when he was his normal shape. It was a pleated black and blue skirt that fell to his mid thigh, complimented by a black corset that had neon blue lacing up the front. He wore chunky yet classy heels that had rose gold accents that matched the rings and earrings that he had on. He looked really good, but he always did.

“I didn’t ask you guys to show up and tell me that my apartment stinks,” Blitz mumbled. He knew that the place was at its worst, he hadn’t had the energy to do the minimal cleaning that he usually managed. Loona never cleaned anything other than her room and occasionally the dishes when he offered to leave the apartment for an extra hour to give her some alone time. He was only able to pick up his clothing and run laundry when he had a break from paperwork, which recently hadn’t been happening at all due to the amount of clients that they had.

“You’re right, I apologize,” Ozzie said. “I don’t know what happened between you and Stolas but I can tell that it wasn’t good. You up to taking some help from Fizz and I?”

Blitz turned around so that he could look at his friend. Fizz had on a smaller version of his normal jester hat, the front logo of which was hidden behind the ridiculous pointed sunglasses that he insisted on wearing whenever he was going out. He was wearing a cute pair of pants that were decorated with flowers and embroidered butterflies, along with a black top that flounced over the edge. They both looked so put together and adult, which was the antithesis of what Blitz was in that moment.

“I… I can’t ask you guys to do that. You have other things that you should be doing with your days that aren’t taking care of someone as pathetic and worthless as me,” he mumbled. It was easy to let the words slip through his mouth and into the open air around him. He had gotten very good at saying those things with a smile, in a way that made them sound like a joke that everyone could laugh or roll their eyes at. His mind felt so foggy and out of it from the malaise that he had been stuck in for days that he didn’t realize that he was being earnest with it instead of turning it into a joke.

“Froggy actually rescheduled everything today so that he could come and hang out with you,” Ozzie said as he glanced up from the imp on the couch to his boyfriend. The tender smile that they shared with each other at the mention of what Fizz had done made Blitz’s heart ache. He knew that he was never going to have something like that because he simply didn’t deserve it.

“Believe it or not, you freak, but we’re going to help you whether you like it or not,” Fizz said. It was probably easier for him to say something like that than it would be for Ozzie. He and Fizz had known each other the entire time that they were growing up, despite the fifteen year gap where they were basically enemies with each other. While it was inappropriate for someone that was basically a stranger to say something like that to Blitz, it was normal for the person that had been his best friend and had seen him at his worst once before.

“You’re not my mom,” Blitz mumbled. He fell over sideways so that he was once again laying on the couch that he had turned into his bed. His pillow had fallen down onto the floor, amongst the mess that he had made of his clothing when he was trying to find something nice to wear for the night-that-wasn’t. He hadn’t had the energy or willpower to pick the pillow back up, so he’d been laying his head down on the scratchy material of his couch for a while.

“No, but I’m the only person in the world that saw you barf all over your birthday cake when you and Barbie turned thirteen,” Fizz replied. “I think that gives me the right to come in here and boss you around. Now get up and go take a shower. Oz and I are going to do some cleaning.”

“You don’t have to. I can shower and then we can go out or something,” Blitz replied. It was easier to get up and do something when it was for someone else, it always had been. Whenever he tried to do something for the good of himself, he heard Cash’s voice screaming in the back of his head about how selfish he was and what a disappointment he was to his mother. He had gotten good at ignoring that voice when it was only him, and then even more so when he decided that a lot of the decisions he was making were actually for Loona. That excuse was gone now, with the depression working against him it was easier for his father’s voice and chiding insults to be the only thing that actually stuck in his mind.

“We want to. Now get your stinky self under some water with some soap,” Fizz said.

Blitz dragged himself off the couch and into the bathroom. It was disgusting, with bits of hair still clinging to the sink and counter from where Loona had last given herself a trim. Dried blood stained the bottom of the bath from the last mission that Blitz had actually managed to make himself go on. He knew that room needed cleaning too, but he wasn’t going to say anything about that when he already felt as though he was taking advantage of the imp he could argue was his only friend in the entire world.

He turned the water on as hot as it would go and then stepped into the tub. It beat down on him with frigid temperatures in the beginning before it shifted warmer and warmer, past the point of being pleasant until it was painful once more. He let it wash all of the sweat from nightmares and panic attacks off of his body until he felt a bit more human. He put a dollop of soap into his hand after what must have been fifteen minutes and then began to spread the frothing mixture over his body.

When he had finished, he rinsed himself properly and stepped out. He was moving on autopilot as he walked to the counter, barely even registering the fluffy white robe, which was badly in need of a wash itself, around his body. He swept the hair on the counter into his hand and then dumped it into the almost overflowing trash before he rinsed the remainder of it down the sink. He grabbed the cream that he used on his old burn scars and smeared it over the affected skin, which eased the creaking pain of the warped skin there.

He stepped out of the bathroom and saw what had already been done to it. The clothing had been picked up and was now nowhere to be seen, outside of the outfit that was laying neatly folded on the couch alongside a stack of bedding. The kitchen had all the dishes cleaned and put in the cupboards, based off the way that the smell was gone and how the mug cupboard was slightly open. The floor had been swept and spot-mopped, now devoid of spots from liquor being sloshed around and dust bunnies. Fizz had taken a damp cloth to all of his pictures so that they were bright with the lack of dust.

The aforementioned imp was standing right in front of the pictures. He realized that the shower had shut off and the door had opened after a minute and turned towards his friend. “Hey, we found something that didn’t look dirty and left it for you on the couch, hope it’s comfy. Ozzie just popped downstairs to run some laundry so that you have something clean to sleep on tonight. Do you really live with two people in a one bedroom apartment?”

“Before I opened IMP and we got it off the ground we didn’t have enough money for any place bigger. I adopted Loona when I still lived here,” he explained it vaguely and badly, trying to figure everything out. He wasn’t sure that his apartment had looked as good as it did in that moment ever since he had moved in.

“I can help you do apartment applications and look for something bigger if you want. You deserve to sleep on something that’s not the couch, Blitz,” Fizz said softly. “Also, you have jack shit in your pantry or fridge.”

“We usually have take out or order something in,” Blitz shrugged. “I made pancakes three days ago.”

Fizz gave him a worried look and then asked if the reason that he was still living in a one bedroom apartment was because he didn’t have the energy or ability to budget properly. Quietly, he admitted, “I actually had to have Ozzie help me hire an accountant when I met him and found out that Mammon was underpaying me and fucking up my finances so that he could launder money through me. I couldn’t read the numbers or understand what they were supposed to look like so I hadn’t noticed anything weird.”

“I know how to run a business, I did most of the shit for the circus when Dad was too out of his mind on booze or whatever else he had gotten to do any of the paperwork,” Blitz grumbled. Fizz had a point when he mentioned Blitz being too tired to get his affairs in order. It was harder work running around in the human world and killing people that someone might think, and then that compounded with the fact that he was doing all the paperwork on his own instead of sourcing it out to his employees meant that he was usually too tired to make food or clean well when he came home.

“Let me help you, Blitz. Let’s look for an apartment and get you into a healthy routine so that you don’t end up this exhausted again, alright? Now I’m going to order us some munchies while we have a little chat,” Fizz pulled his phone out of his pocket. The glowing of the screen meshed with the glowing of his prosthetics in a way that made Blitz’s good eye hurt, so he turned away.

He walked to the couch and then picked up the clothing that had been left for him. He disappeared back into the bathroom so he could finish drying off and then get dressed. They had saved him a pair of boxers that he knew for certain were clean, as well as a pair of sweatpants and a baggy shirt with more holes than seams. It had a cute horse on the front, though, so Blitz had never been able to get himself to the point of throwing it out.

Once he was dressed, he walked over the stack of bedding to see that it was actually just the physical pieces with none of the covers. The duvet that he had lost beneath the TV when M&M came over the last time sat folded on top of two pillows. “Did you vacuum my couch?” he asked, a bit flabbergasted that his childhood friend had gone that far to take care of him when he had nothing to offer in reply.

Fizz gave him a look, “Of course I did. I don’t think that someone our age should be sleeping on a couch instead of a bed, but if you’re going to do it anyway then you at least deserve to have it be clean.”

What he was saying made sense, even if Blitz had never had those thoughts himself. He nodded his head as he made his way over to the bar stools on the other side of the counter from his childhood best friend. “I promise that I do usually clean more than this,” Blitz mumbled.

“Blitz, something obviously happened. I’m not judging you for not keeping your apartment glitteringly clean. I’m worried about you and I thought that having a clean space would help you get out of your thoughts. It helped me when I was in recovery,” Fizz shrugged.

At the mention of the fire, Blitz felt his heart jump into his throat. He had spent so long fighting off panic attacks at those memories that it was hard to get out of the habit even with all the work he had been doing to recover from it. He just couldn’t stop thinking about the ash that his parent’s caravan had turned into, his mother’s necklace singed but also the only thing that made it out. That was what had haunted him most, along with the memories of puss filled burns and aching pain that just wouldn’t go away. When he thought about Fizz in the context of the fire, he saw his best friend’s flesh melting away from his arm and then how small the other circus imp had looked layin gin his bed.

“It did?” he finally managed to get out.

“Yeah, it did. I’m gonna talk a bit more about it, but I want you to put both your hands on the counter and then breathe evenly. This is good exposure therapy for us both,” he advised.

Blitz did as he was asked and immediately began to feel more secure and grounded. The cold of the countertop leeched into his sweaty, warm palms so that he could focus on something other than the way that his stomach and throat were clenching around nothing. He took the deep breaths that Fizz had advised, in through his mouth and then slowly out through his nose. He could feel the way that the anxiety was prickling in the back of his mind and down his back, but it no longer felt like it was trying to eat him whole.

“I spent a while in a medically induced coma after I was brought to the hospital. It was easier for my body to adjust to the treatments and the fact that I had four less limbs. By the time that I woke up, my room was so fucking crowded with medical devices. I felt tiny under it all, especially with the fact that the lights hung down from the ceiling for some reason in that place,” Fizz explained. “But eventually they got taken away and it was nice to have my own space. People from the circus stopped by a lot, to give my cards and little get well soon presents. That’s when I kept expecting you to show up, because they all were so I figured that you had to know that I was awake.”

“I… can I explain myself too?” Blitz asked, staring down at the swirling marble of the countertop before he forced himself to meet Fizz’s eyes.

“Please do,” Fizz replied. He turned around and got a saucepan from one of the bottom cupboards before he filled it up with water. It was oddly domestic to see his best friend find everything that he needed in Blitz’s house, as if they had been living together or visiting each other the entire fifteen years that the misunderstanding had lasted.

“I came to see you right after the fire. I had burns, so they kept me in for a week or something until I could bandage all the shit on my own,” he said. He could feel the stinging, tingling sensations around where his burns were, as if his body were bringing back the pain he had felt all those years ago. “I tried to visit you when you were in the coma but Dad said that you wouldn’t want to see me. Told me that the fire was all my fault and you wouldn’t want to see the person that had ruined your whole career.”

“You didn’t ruin my whole career. Even the humans have managed to figure out how to make pretty decent prosthetics. Ozzie showed up and got me set up fairly quickly, thanks to the Circus Protection Act that Lucifer put in place,” Fizz shrugged. The way that he spoke so easily about politics was another sign that he had been given the chance to learn and educate himself, a chance that Blitz hadn’t gotten.

He did know what the CPA was, of course, everyone that was in their circus did. Lucifer had fallen and been taken in by the circus that Blitz and Fizz had belonged to, funnily enough, so he had passed a law saying any member of the royal family was obligated to help a circus member if they requested it. Blitz guessed that Cash was actually the person that called in that favor so that he could return his money maker back to the state he needed to be in to perform.

“But anyway,” Fizz continued. “I had to stay in the hospital for a long time, through the burn treatments over my entire body and then the physical therapy and then the adjustment with the artificial limbs. Eventually all those gifts start to pile up and get in the way. I had a pile of stuffed animals in the corner of my hospital room that was so covered in dust that they were almost entirely gray and the staff had to take them away as a health hazard. My clothes stuck out of the drawers because I had to have shirts and pants that I could wear with and without the prosthetics. I had letters and cards and notes all over my walls, so it kind of felt like people were staring at me as I slept.”

“I wish I could have seen it. I would have helped you,” Blitz promised. He would have much rather stuck around Saint An’s in Sloth, where Fizz and many of the other circus imps had been taken after the fire, than what had actually happened to him. He would have taken a thousand more sour memories than remember the way that his stomach ached because the only thing that he could find to eat was lemons that he could steal off trees that hung too far over the fences around their orchards. Perhaps that was another reason that he indulged in foods that were less than good for him, but he didn’t want to think about that right now.

“Despite how bad it fucked me up to have all that shit hanging up in my space, I wish that you had been there and contributed to it too,” Fizz said. “But anyway, I was getting towards the end of my treatment. I had the permanent installers in so I was just working out how to pop them on and off when I needed it. I took all the papers down and put them in a box, I got rid of all the clothing that I wasn’t going to need anymore because there were plenty of other amputees in my ward that needed them. The last month I spent in that place was the best I had ever spent because I was a) leaving and b) had space to breath again. Clean was nice, but decluttered was even better.”

“I guess I can see what you mean,” Blitz commented as he turned his head to look back at his apartment. The space was tiny, which had been fine when it was only him because it reminded him of the caravans and tents that he had grown up in. The couch was only about a yard away from the breakfast bar, which meant that someone couldn’t get through that space if someone was actually sitting in the chairs. He could reach the entertainment center with his toes without removing his back from the couch, too. It looked a lot bigger since Ozzie had taken the pile of clothes down to the washer, but that space would be cluttered up again even if he folded them this time.

“I think you’re right, I do need a bigger apartment.”

“I’m so glad that we finally agree on something other than your sex life,” Fizz grinned. The air between them got sticky and uncomfortable as all the memories of what had happened on the Full Moon came rushing back to Blitz at once. The topic was dropped immediately, because Fizz knew Blitz even after all the time they had spent apart and was good at taking care of him.

Their food came and they ate on the couch while watching some shitty reality TV show about sinners trying to win their souls back by doing increasingly strange and dangerous tasks. Ozzie eventually joined them, lazing about on the floor as he folded all of the clean laundry that he had brought up with them. No one asked him why he had been in such a funk or why his apartment had been a mess, they just kept him company and made him feel better.

---

That trend continued during the following months. Every Tuesday evening, Blitz went to hang out with Fizz and Ozzie in Lust or they came up to Pride to spend the evening with him. They would watch shitty movies, play board games that made everyone yell good naturedly or laugh until they were crying. Sometimes, when they were really tired, they would just sit amongst each other and endlessly scroll through social media. Ozzie hated the fact that Fizz and Blitz sent each other posts when they were sitting less than three feet apart, but it made them both laugh.

Blitz had never expected that his life would lead to that point, especially not after what had happened during the last time that he’d touched the grimoire. It ended up being in the best interest for his company as the book had to have someone to activate it and deactivate it, which meant that they were usually at the whim of Loona. A lot of things had changed in his company, but it was for the better. Blitz and Millie handled a lot of the hits where they were given the proper name, description, and location of the victim while Moxxie went out and handled the ones that involved investigation. He had also dolled out the paperwork to them, at least the things that they had to file concerning the individual cases. He still handled the pay stubs, rent, and taxes for the corporation. Loona seemed to be doing better too, she had eased up on her insults and cruelty all around so that she just seemed generally annoyed at her coworkers antics. It may have been the fact that she only had to take the information from their clients instead of making small talk with them, but it could have also been the fact that Blitz wasn’t home as much anymore.

It hurt him that the daughter he had poured his entire heart into didn’t seem to enjoy his company but he knew that wasn’t how it worked. He had hated his own father so much that it felt like it was going to consume him in a blind rage. He may have adopted Loona and provided for her, as any self respecting parent should do, but he wasn’t there when she was growing up. They were more roomates that barely tolerated each other then father-daughter like he had wanted. Still, she was helping him look for other apartments that they could move to so they weren’t on top of each other like they were in their current one.

It was Tuesday, which meant that after a long day at work Blitz was finally heading to the one thing that he looked forward to all week. It was easier to ignore the voices in his head when he had something that he could rely on again, which was part of the reason that it had felt so jarring when Stolas suddenly decided to flip their entire deal on its head. He had never done very well with his routines changing, he had always assumed it had something to do with the chaos of his childhood and needing to control everything that went around him.

He typed in his special code to the Lust palace’s gate and then drove through when the doors swung open. He parked in front of the steps and then nearly skipped up the steps so that he could enter. Ozzie and Fizz were already going to be preparing for him to get up to the penthouse, that was why he had a specialized code instead of the same one that all the servants and staff had. He made his way through the halls, around all of the succubus and imps that were busying themselves with their work. He arrived at the penthouse after inserting the security key into the elevator.

“Blitz!” Fizz shrieked when the ‘ding’ of the elevator alerted the entire penthouse to his apartment. He flung himself from the draped silks on the ceiling so that he was in front of his friend He wrapped the other man up in a hug, his arms extending so that it was more of a cocoon than a hug that Blitz could return.

He spun away and then dragged his friend in through the apartment. They spent the beginning half of the evening stressing Ozzie out while they tried to make pizza. They hadn’t even decided that they were making the dough themselves like they had joked about a month ago when they had come up with the plan. The food ended up burnt on one side and overloaded with the toppings that had almost turned into a food fight, but that was what made it so good. Blitz was slowly discovering how much better it was to eat something that he had made instead of something that he had ordered from another fast food joint.

He and Fizz were perched on the counter while Ozzie hummed to himself while tidying up his kitchen. When the sin had finished loading the dishwasher and leaned into the space next to Fizz, they shared a look with each other. They did that a lot, which was why Blitz didn’t think anything of it in the beginning. A spike of panic rushed through him when Fizz said, “Hey, Blitz? Can I ask you something?”

“You just did, Roly-poly,” he answered. It was a nickname that he had used constantly when they were children because the ‘z’ sound had been rather hard for him before he turned six. It wasn’t something that he had used since they had reconnected, so it felt a bit like a cheap shot to pull it out now when his friend was trying to seriously ask him something.

“What happened after that date you had with Stolas? What did he do that made you so upset?” Fizz asked. When there was a beat of silence longer than a breath, he glanced at Ozzie and continued nervously, “I mean, you were so excited when you came to get the toys from us. You custom bought him a bunch of shit and knew exactly what he liked so I know that the two of you had been involved with each other for a while. Oz tried to reach out but what he got back was really weird.”

Anger flared up inside of him like it so often did. The mental image of Stolas saying something defamatory or warped shot through his mind like a bullet. “What did that bird fucker tell you guys I did? Cause I can almost guarantee you that’s not what happened.”

“How about you tell us what happened first and then we’ll figure it out, yeah?” Ozzie asked. He was so good at saying something in that level, calm voice that made Blitz feel like everything was going to be alright. The only other person that had been able to do that was his mother and he was fairly certain that was because she wasn’t entirely Impish.

He sighed as he leaned back against the counter, trying to get all his thoughts in line. The anger at the idea of Stolas talking about him after he was the one to break it off was still boiling in Blitz’s gut. “I went over there like I do every full moon and he fucking told me that he was gonna take his book away forever so that I couldn’t do my goddamn job anymore. He was saying all this shit about how what we were doing wasn’t right and how he didn’t want it anymore and then he showed the crystal to me. He just tried to fuse the fucking thing onto my sleeves without asking me and started to fucking walk off. I tried to get him to stop and listen to me for a single goddamn second but he didn’t because he never fucking does. The guy is such a fucking royal prick like all the other powerful overlords and princess and shit! No offense, Ozzie,” he quickly tacked the last sentence onto the end when he realized that it might make the Sin angry.

“I understand, I’ve seen the way that other people act towards demons they view as beneath them,” Ozzie replied with a shrug. His hair was flickering white and pink at the end, the full head of fire instead of the succubus form that he had been in when they spent their first Tuesday together.

“What do you mean about the crystal and the book? I know that you needed the crystal so that you could work but I didn’t think that any of that was going to be related to Stolas,” Fizz commented. He put the crust of his pizza, which was almost entirely black with how charred it was, down on the plate next to him.

Blitz rolled his eyes and sighed, “We had this deal or something. I would come fuck him six ways from Holy Sunday every full moon and in turn he let me use the fancy ass book he has that lets us up onto the surface. It was gross and weird but it was the only way that I could run my business, so you’ve gotta do what you gotta do.”

Ozzie slammed his fist down onto the countertop as his hair flamed bright white, to the point where it actually hurt to look at. “‘No never that’ my goddamn ass!” he swore. He then calmed back down and apologized for the outburst, “It’s just that Stolas and I had this conversation about love and lust when he came to ask me for the crystal. I made it perfectly fucking clear what my stances on love potions and roofies are, they’re not real to the craft and it’s fucking weird that humans made them in the first place. He told me that he agreed with me and then it turns out that he’s been coercing you into sex for what, a fucking year? I’m beginning to hate this owl more than you do.”

“Coercing me? You don’t mean like… rape, right?” Blitz laughed nervously. He had never considered his deal to be anything like that but Fizz was frozen next to him and Ozzie was so upset.

“That’s exactly what I mean. I was talking to him about the fact that lust isn’t something that you can force or drag out of someone. That’s why my people spend so much time up on the human world, they have to seduce their prey to be able to feed into the Sin in Hell. Heaven may be a corrupt bunch of bastards but even they understand the difference between sex and rape,” Ozzie huffed.

“Babe, I got this,” Fizz said quickly. It was obvious that they knew each other well enough to tell when the other person was too angry to be coherent, which was what was happening now.

Blitz put his food down next to him, his stomach now roiling with nerves about what was going to be said during their next conversation. He twisted his hands in his lap before Fizz reached over and threaded their fingers together. “Blitz, rape isn’t just something that can be done on women from men, you know that, right?”

“Of course I do. Women can be just as shitty as men can. I’m not a human, I believe in gender equality and all that shit,” Blitz huffed. “What does this have to do with me and Stolas?”

“So I know that the book was his in the first place and you probably stole it because you still all the shit that you want and can’t buy, but what he did to you was called quid pro quo rape. He held something over your head in exchange for sex,” Fizz said.

“I… he could have just taken it back, he was doing me a favor by trying to get something in return for lending me his book,” Blitz argued. He could feel feather fingers grasping to his skin and words murmured into his ears like he was wrapped up in the silky bedsheets all over again.

“Remember to breathe, friend,” Ozzie said. His deep voice rumbled through Blitz like the engine of a car and settled deep into his bones so that he relaxed against the counters again. There was no demeaning nickname that he had already refused, no flirting, nothing but the calm reminder that he should be sucking air into his lungs.

“What he did to you was quid pro quo rape with extra steps. Yes, you took his book and that is illegal but he should have simply pressed charges against you like any other Goetia would have. None of them even think twice before they call the fuzz because they’re all so rich that they’ve never had to be on the wrong end of a gun before. It was wrong of him to hold something like that over your head,” Fizz shook his head.

“Tagging in, love,” Ozzie said. He leaned down so that the duo could nuzzle each other. It was clear that they were both very upset by what they were talking about, which was making Blitz feel even worse. They should have been having a fun night while eating pizza, not talking about whatever this was.

“I don’t really understand what quid pro quo rape or whatever means,” Blitz mumbled.

“Quid pro quo rape is when someone in a place of power over the victim tries to hold something above their head to get sex. This thing can be a promotion, their paycheck, housing, or even transportation. The fact that Stolas took the one thing that you definitively needed to be able to do your job and threatened to take it away unless you had sex with him made it rape,” Ozzie explained.

Blitz slid off of the counter, hitting the ground with bent knees so that he could absorb the shock of the hit. He then began to pace around the island, wringing his hands and trying to remember how to breathe like Fizz had showed him to when they first really reconnected. “But-but I kept going back! When someone rapes you, you don’t consent. You give explicit un-consent or never given consent in the first place. I gave consent every time I showed up at his palace, and most of the time I was the one topping! How can it have been rape if he wasn’t holding me down and I never said no?”

“It was rape because you did not give informed, willing, and enthusiastic consent,” Ozzie said. He sat down on the floor with his legs crossed, next to the counter. It let Blitz continue to walk around in a circle around him while he thought. “Just because you kept going back or walking into that situation didn’t make it not rape, just like returning home to an abusive partner doesn’t make it not abuse.”

“I think it might be good if you talked with a therapist about this, Blitz. A real one, not one of the cheap ones from Greed that tells you you’re a piece of shit and then takes all your money. I can help you get into the clinic that I went to after the accident so you can shop around for one that you feel comfortable with,” Fizz suggested.

It felt like everything that had just been piled on top of him was slowly washing away. They made sure that he was okay and then moved to the living room where they all sat in a heap on the couch, watching dumb horse movies that were streaming. Their touch hurt in the beginning, but as soon as he felt that it was staying on his back or his shoulders instead of moving elsewhere he relaxed significantly. It was nice to be held by people that cared about him but didn’t have to, not like his employees and adoptive daughter did.

---

Fizz had been right about therapy, but that wasn’t a big shock. Blitz had gone to the clinic with him and then had a half hour session with a therapist that felt a little off. He had made an appointment with another and then exchanged some emails that felt promising, which made their first session a wonderful experience. The therapist was kind and compassionate, listening to what he had to say and then parsing through the bullshit that he left in so that he didn’t feel so vulnerable about spilling his guts to someone that was basically a stranger.

They worked through a lot in the beginning six months that he was going there. They discussed what had happened with Stolas and why it was so wrong. Blitz was affirmed in his uncomfortableness with the pet names that centered around his race, in the fact that he had told Stolas multiple times not to make sexual advances on him and yet was ignored, and the fact that he should never have been put in that situation in the first place. The therapist had reiterated what Fizz and Ozzie had already told him. That while Blitz had burglarized the Goetia, that gave Stolas no right to hold the livelihoods of Blitz, his employees, and his daughter over his head in exchange for sex that Blitz didn’t want to have in the first place. The therapist even assured him that just because he had initiated the act of sex the first time that they had interacted as adults, that didn’t mean that he had been asking for those horrific things to be done to him.

It was cathartic to hear someone say those things to him. He had never realized how much it bothered him to be referred to as a plaything or have his wishes disrespected at every twist and turn until it was staring him in the face. Not only did she give him the sense of validation that he needed, but she also provided him to deal with the memories and issues that he had gotten from the relationship that he’d had with Stolas. He found that after realizing he had been abused, he had swung the opposite way than he normally was and found touch repulsive. The therapist had coached him through the feeling and affirmed that he had a right to his own body and his consent needed to be heeded. Afterwards, he found it easy to cuddle up to Fizz and Ozzie during their normal times together or lay beside M&M when they were on missions.

Other things had changed in his life as well. The business was still running smoothly, especially since they had now all adjusted to the way that things worked. They had even hired Millie’s sister Sallie May, who was very good at blending in with humans when it was her turn to use the crystal and even better at convincing the sinners to fork over more money than they would have originally. She ended up being in charge of the desk while Loona sought work elsewhere.

She was still living with Blitz and it seemed like the distance in their apartment was beginning to do wonders for their relationship. They both had their own rooms and bathrooms, though Loona’s technically also functioned as the guest bathroom. The living room was a place that they could go if they wanted to hang out together instead of it feeling as though she were invading Blitz’s room since that was where he always was. The two of them had a little routine now, where Blitz would come home and ask her about her day while they were cooking. She would tell him and then he would relax while she cleaned up, before they both settled down onto the couch to watch shitty TV and scream at baking show contestants. He had thought about proposing therapy to her as well, but it seemed like it would disrupt the delicate balance that they had. He was beginning to learn just how badly his own father had fucked him up and how that reflected in his helicopter parenting, so he was sure his own therapy was helping them already.

The only night that he didn’t spend with his daughter every week was Tuesday, because that was the time he spent with Fizz and Ozzie. They had only ever skipped the week that Blitz and Loona were moving since the duo was so exhausted that neither wanted to go anywhere. Things had changed a little bit, with Loona coming to watch some of the movies they put on or eating with them when they were over at Blitz’s apartment. She seemed to like the fact that she could bring over her partner without worrying about Blitz’s reaction since he would be away on those nights.

Today was one such day and one that he had been both dreading and majorly looking forward to. He had already discussed whether or not he should do it with his therapist and she had advised him to go through with it if he was sure that he felt comfortable. She had reminded him that he knew his body and wants best, so he was going to be able to decide what was best for him.

He hadn’t thought that making a joke about having a threesome with his best friends would end up actually getting him invited into their bed, but there he was. They had already messaged him throughout the day to remind him of the system that they had and negotiate the terms of the scene. Each of them had a stoplight system for what they wanted to do, green for things that actively turned them on, yellow for things that they would do for other people but didn’t necessarily get them off, and red for things they absolutely would not do.

Blitz rolled those things over and over in his head as he drove towards Lust just to keep his nerves settled down. He had taken care of his urges in the entire year that had passed during his recovery, but this would be the first time he had sex since then. He breathed the words allowed as he tried to remember everything that the others had told him. He knew that Fizz liked the scene to be kept light and not too intense, didn’t like to be tied up so that he couldn’t use his limbs, and really enjoyed it when people vocalized what they did and didn’t like while he was doing it. He knew that Ozzie was up for just about anything but really liked being called ‘daddy’ and that his only ick was people trying to have sex with him because they wanted something from him instead of having sex for the sake of sex.

Blitz, in turn, had realized that he had no idea what he did like and what he was just willing to do because his partner liked it. He knew that he didn’t like being come on to when the flirting wasn’t mutual, wanted the consent to be explicit, and didn’t want to be demeaned in the slightest. He had been able to tell the other two that he had liked being cared for, the way that Verosika had but without the resentment that she had carried because she hadn’t communicated what she wanted to him. Fizz and Ozzie had come up with a plan for him, something that he had agreed to with the promise that he could stop it and say that he didn’t like something at any time.

So he typed in his passcode to the gate outside of the Lust palace, parked his car outside the door, and then traveled up to the penthouse apartment with the key in the elevator. When the door opened, Fizz was right there to greet him with a kiss on his cheek and a promise, “I can see that you’re nervous, Blitz. If you don’t want to have sex or having a planned scene is too triggering for you then there’s no shame or punishment for opting out. We’ll just pop in a movie and threaten to burn down the kitchen like we always do.”

“No, I want to do this,” Blitz said. “I miss being able to get my dick wet and I want to have fun with you guys.” He didn’t mention the part about being in love with Fizz since they were thirteen, nor did he mention the fact that he had a massive crush on Ozzie. He had worked really hard to get to the point where he could even have a casually sexual relationship, a romantic relationship still felt like a lot.

“If you’re sure. We’re gonna check on you a lot during the scene, so if you feel like you need to stop you can tell us the or any other time you feel like you need to,” Fizz said. He was speaking softly, which made the rasp in his voice so smooth that he almost sounded like he had before the fire.

Fizz reached out and took Blitz’s hand, threading their fingers together so that they could walk through the penthouse to the bedroom. It felt like the fire had never happened, that this was what Blitz’s life should have been. He knew that it wasn’t, and he had traveled a much harder road to get there, but he was so happy that he had gotten it at all.

The bedroom had soothing blue and pink lights around the walls instead of the overly bright overhead lights, which helped the pain that Blitz was having in his bad eye. Ozzie was sitting on the edge of the bed in his succubus form so that he was actually a good size to have sex with beings that were about a fourth of his height. Fizz had revealed that even in that form his cock was fucking massive, but it was much easier to take than when he was in his full sin form.

“There’s the man of the hour. How are you feeling, Blitz?” Ozzie asked as he stood from the bed.

“Nervous, but good. I brought some toys that I think can keep you both entertained,” he grinned as he began to root around in his bag.

Fizz placed his hand over Blitz’s arm to get the movement to stop and then shook his head. “We’re having sex because we all want to, not because we’re expecting you to perform a service for us. Plus, you’re literally in the home of the embodiment of Lust. We have all the tools that we need to make you feel special,” he ran one of his robotic fingers down the side of Blitz’s face so that it traced his jawline and then trailed slowly down his neck.

It made him shiver and his mouth fill with saliva, arousal already pooling in his stomach. “Shit, that feels so much better than feathers,” he whispered. He then grimaced and said, “I want that to be the last time that I think about Stolas tonight.”

“We can do that. Do we need to go over safewords and limits again?” Ozzie asked with a small chuckle.

“I had my screen reader say them over and over again on the drive over here, I’m good,” Blitz shook his head.

The other two members of the scene glanced at each other before they turned back to Blitz, “Then we should get this started.”

Fizz placed his hands on Blitz’s hips to tug the other imp a bit closer to them, pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss. It stayed as their lips dancing together for thirty seconds, before Fizz’s tongue brushed against Blitz’s lips and then his mouth fell open. They grew more heated from there, their lips pressed against each other so hard that they were bound to bruise while teeth nipped at skin and tongues danced together. Blitz was drowning in the taste of his best friend and gasping as he felt hands traveling around his body.

Fizz had held his hips while they were beginning their kiss, but moved on as things became more heated. They traveled first down from his waist to the bottom of his hips, thumbs playing with the leather of his belt. Curious fingers them dipped underneath his shirt and traveled over the cars that littered his stomach and chest until they found his nipples. Fizz tweaked the one on the right between his thumb and forefinger while he gently brushed over the other one.

Eventually they had to break the kiss so that they could both get in a good breath. Fizz used the moment that they were no longer connected to remove the taller imp’s shirt, being careful of his horns as he tossed the garment down onto the bed. “Come and let us treasure you, Blitz,” Fizz said as he stepped back towards the bed. His robotic arms stretched so that they dragged the other man slowly after him.

He didn’t really need a lot of coaxing as he felt the presence of the Sin of Lust behind him, warm and somehow comforting. He leaned back into it with every step forward towards the bed that he took. The three of them clambered in a mess of limbs and a few stolen kiss back onto the bed. Fizz scooted away from them as he began to undo the buttons on his shirt, revealing more of the mixed red and white skin as he did so. Ozzie had already removed everything but his lacy black panties and corset while the other two were involved with each other, leaving Blitz the most clothed person on the bed.

Ozzie folded his legs loosely behind him and then pulled Blitz up into his lap, strong arms wrapped around his waist. “You’re so handsome and strong, Blitz,” he commented as he pressed a kiss to the old scar on his shoulder and then another underneath his jaw. He took a bit of the flesh into his mouth and bit down hard on it, sucking and rolling it between his teeth so that it would bruise and prove that the session had happened for days to come.

Fizz kicked his skirt and shirt off the bed, leaving himself in nothing. Apparently clothing got really overwhelming for the imp, with the addition of his limbs giving him sensational overload more often than he had before the accident. He went without undergarments fairly often, when he thought that he wasn’t going out of the house, and finding out that information had drive Blitz absolutely insane.

It was no different in that current moment, watching the silky material of the green skirt fall off his body and reveal his genitals. Like all imps, Fizz was a complete hermaphrodite. He had an erect cock that was pressed up against the lower half of his abdomen, a pretty sick inches long while one inch in diameter. Underneath that was a slick set of folds covered in course black hair, promising something tantalizing if only someone would delve into it to see what it was.

“Doesn’t he look just delicious? I want you to take in every bit of it because we have a surprise for you,” Ozzie purred into his ear. The Sin’s hands traveled down the imp’s body so that they reached the belt just as Fizz’s had done earlier. He pulled at the buckle and then got the leather to slip through the cloth belt loops so that he could discard it down to the side.

Fizz leaned back against the bed and let his mechanical fingers brush over his skin as they traveled down to his cock and cunt, teasing himself by touching only the parts of his body that still had feeling. Ozzie mimicked the motions on Blitz’s body so it almost felt like he was watching himself in a mirror, an idea that made him painfully hard in his pants. He was going to have to explore that later, but the only thing he could think of in that present moment was the fact that Ozzie’s hands were beginning to play with the cloth of his pants and underwear.

He gasped when he felt fingers slip underneath the material of his jeans and then his boxers following shortly suit. They pushed the fabric down until it got caught on the globes of his ass, causing him to wiggle back against Ozzie’s hard cock. He whined and gasped as he felt the member brush against his own swollen cunt, reminding him just how horny he was. Masturbation was a great way for him to deal with a lot of his feelings, but it didn’t resolve quite as many of them as he had hoped.

“Are you going to stay dressed this whole time?” Blitz pretended to complain. He liked being able to feel the cool metal of the corset rings and the silky material of the corset itself and the panties.

“I get undressed when Fizz asks me to and not before then,” Ozzie rumbled. He let his hands continued to do whatever they wanted, skating down Blitz’s heated skin until they reached his genitals. He brushed his fingers over the edge of his cock, barely teasing it before he reached the slick material of his cunt. He brushed his fingers up and down the folds, content with teasing him for a while before he finally let them breach the hot warmth and slide all the way in. Once he had done that, he just let them sit there while they watched Fizz.

The other imp was mewling into his hand as he wrapped one of his robotic hands around his cock and began to thrust into it. “Shit, Oz, you look so good when you pleasure him. I bet you wish that you could see Blitz’s face right now, it’s fucking heavenly,” he moaned. He then removed his hand from his cock right as pearly white precum began to develop on the tip. “Color?”

“Green, please, so green. I want more, please more, please,” Blitz whimpered. His hips moved on their own as he tried to fuck himself on Ozzie’s thick fingers. He needed to be filled and fucked by something that had a pulse instead of another one of his silicone toys from when he had been enslaved. He needed to override the memories in his mind of something that he hadn’t wanted to do with something that felt so good for everyone involved.

“Do you think that we can move onto the next thing, Froggy?” Ozzie asked. He moved to the other side of Blitz’s head and then began to bit and nip at the skin once more. He was sucking hickies an inch apart from each other like he was a cannibal tantalizing his victim and getting a taste in before he went for the kill.

“I think that he’s ready for it, yeah,” Fizz replied. He shifted so that he was on all fours and then dug into the bedside drawer nearest to him. He pulled out a piece of silky black cloth that would have gone great with a robe for Ozzie’s corset. He crawled forward with the end of the fabric in his mouth, kneeling down in front of Blitz. Ozzie picked the imp up, having removed his fingers in a quick motion that made Blitz let out a sharp moan of surprise. He shifted the taller of his two partners down onto his leg, so Blitz could rub down against him but had nothing inside of him any longer. He then placed the center of the fabric around Blitz’s eyes, over his ears and behind his head. Gentle fingers died it back between the spines on his head and neck, making sure that the knot sat between them in a way that was comfortable.

“A blindfold?” he breathed. He could feel his cunt leaking fluids down onto Ozzie’s lap since he was positioned almost on top of his legs. He really liked the way that he was able to pick up on the sounds of their breathing, hitching with arousal whenever one of them moved in a way that was able to tease their sexes. He could feel the brief touches of robotic and demonic fingers against his skin with so much more sensation now that he wasn’t focusing on the way that it looked as well.

“You seemed to like them when I brought them up to you last time,” Fizz replied. “Color?”

“Green,” he whined. “Can someone put something back in me?”

“You ask so nicely, you’re such a good boy,” Ozzie praised. “What do you think, Fizz?”

“I think that he deserves whatever he asks for, he doesn’t have to earn anything because he’s never been a bad boy before in his life,” Fizz replied matter-of-factly. The praise was doing things to Blitz that Stolas had never been able to do with all of his weird fetishizing comments. It was swirling around in his gut and creating a knot in his throat, but he also felt so insanely good already.

“Unlike you,” Ozzie teased.

“Please,” Blitz whimpered. “Please put something inside me, I’m good.”

He hadn’t even realized that he was going to say that until the words had come tumbling out of his lips. The other two snapped out of their fake squabble and all their attention was back on Blitz. “You are, you’re so good,” Ozzie murmured. His big hands came to rest on Blitz’s body, helping him once again shift.

He wasn’t sure what was going on with the other two, but he felt his hands move down onto the high cotton count bedspread, his calves and knees as well. He felt shocks of happy sensations rush through his body at how soft everything was, elevated by his inability to see it. That feeling was immediately overshadowed when something, what he recognized as a cockhead, brushed against his clit and then down to his hole.

“Please, please, please,” he begged. It felt good to ask for something when he knew that he was going to get it and nothing would come from not being able to complete a request afterwards.

“So good, so good for me,” Ozzie praised. One of his hands came to rest on Blitz’s back to hold him in place while the other was presumably the one that was moving his cock around. He pushed the head through the tight ring of muscles that led into his inner depths, which made Blitz let out a low moan of pleasure.

“Good for us,” Fizz corrected. His hands began to travel all over the imp in front of him, before they settled on his horns. He wrapped his thumb and middle finger around the base and then gently twisted them to the left, then the right. The amount of euphoria that rushed through Blitz from the simple motions would have killed him a year ago when he was so depressed that he could barely even feed himself.

Blitz opened his mouth to thank them but the only thing that was able to come out was a long-drawn out moan. His cunt clenched over and over again as he felt the thick cock behind him sinking down into his body. Ozzie’s balls slapped against the edge of Blitz’s cock as he finally got the last couple of inches in. Blitz had never really considered himself to be a size queen, but he wasn’t sure that anyone else was going to match what the king of Lust was doing to him now, he felt like his guts were being rearranged in the best way possible.

“He’s good, isn’t he? Daddy knows how to make us feel so good,” Fizz teased with that warble in his voice that Blitz had always been so in love with.

“Thank you, thank you!” he mewled as he pushed himself back on the massive member. He was surprised that he hadn’t already creamed himself from only being entered, but he was so glad that he hadn’t.

Ozzie wrapped both of his strong arms around the imp’s waist and lifted him up so that something could happen below him. The sheets rustled as Fizz apparently laid down, because when Blitz was lowered back into the all fours that he had been in before, he was now on top of his best friend.

“Can I take your cock for you, sir?” Fizz joked as he looped one of his legs around Blitz’s hips.

“You’re so dumb and you absolutely fucking can, that cunt looked so good,” Blitz groaned. He would have been happy to just lick at it, or place his head nearby and sniff it while being fucked by the King of Lust behind him. When he felt the warmth of his best friend wrapping tightly around his member, he realized that he wouldn’t have been because this was addictive.

“Just like that, you’re being so good for us,” Ozzie praised as he began a lazy pace. He pulled back just enough that half of his cock remained inside of Blitz before he thrust forward and speared him again, filling him up all the way. Every time that the Sin moved, it would cause Blitz’s own cock to slip from Fizz and then jam back in immediately afterwards. It was an addictive feeling with so much pleasure that he thought he was going to lose his mind.

“Just like that, so good for us. You’re so wonderful at this, being so good,” Fizz praised. He made sure not to say anything about how Blitz was making them feel since that was something he had put in the orange zone of his colors, something not quite against but not quite comfortable with either.

Blitz leaned down so that his forehead was resting on what he assumed was Fizz’s shoulders. He could feel the material of the blindfold going damp as tears began to leak from his eyes. “Wait, Oz, stop,” Fizz said quietly. “Blitz, are you okay? I can feel you crying.”

“It’s good, I feel so good, never felt like this before,” he sobbed. “Keep going, please, keep going. I’m good. I’m not lying, I’m feeling so good right now.”

They very slowly began the pace that they had picked up earlier, thrusting in and out of Blitz until they were sure that he was telling the truth and picked back up. If he hadn’t been in the arms of people that he knew for certain loved him, he would have been so embarrassed of the fact that he was crying during sex. He was doing it because he felt like something cherished and special, which he thought was a reason to adore this moment instead of hide from the shame of it.

His mind began to grow hazy and fuzzy in the best way possible. The only thing that he could pay attention to was the moans and whimpers coming from either being wrapped around him, the way that pleasure moved and flowed through his body, and the affirmation of his color that was pouring from his mouth. It was the best thing that he had ever experienced and he felt like he was going to explode when his orgasm finally rushed over him.

Ozzie slammed his hips forward and in turn, shoved Blitz all the way into Fizz’s cunt. He paused when he felt the cunt around him clench down and Blitz whimper with his orgasm. Fizz gasped, “He’s filling me up, holy shit we should milk him next time, he’d like that.”

“Will do, froggy,” Ozzie chuckled. Blitz had already felt him orgasming for a good long while, filling him up with so much cum that he was surprised it wasn’t running down his legs.

“How you doing, Blitz?” Ozzie asked as he reached up and untied the silk blindfold that had been blocking his vision.

“Sleepy, good,” he mumbled. It was like his brain was only capable of producing tiny words instead of the long, coherent sentences that he normally spoke in.

“I think that you got him all the way down into subspace, Oz,” Fizz laughed. “I should have known that your dick was too good.”

“Hush, you,” Ozzie scoffed.

Both of them slipped off of the bed, the sin easily reaching for Blitz and picking him up in his arms. The hazy clouds were beginning to dissipate the longer that he was no longer being fucked like that, but it was still like he had been dropped into the center of Heaven. They brought him to the bathroom and the submerged him into the warm water of the tub. He knew that he was in there long enough for all three of them to get clean, before he was walked to the bedroom and dressed in a comfortable pair of cotton pajamas.

“Drink some of this for me, please,” Ozzie said softly as he brought a waterbottle to Blitz’s lips. He drank about half of it in the small sips that Ozzie would allow. Once he had finished it, he took the peanut butter cracker that Fizz offered him and easily got it down.

Never in his life had he ever felt this good, and he wanted to remember what it was like to be cherished and cared for over and over again.

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #helluva boss #blitzo buckzo #fizzarolli #asmodeus #ozzie #fizz x ozzie x blitzo #fizzblitz #blitzmodeus #fizzmodeus #fizzozzie #anti stolas goetia #not stolas goetia friendly #stolas goetia critical

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