#JL shenanigans

[kettlefire]

I keep randomly think about this:

Imagine Batman revealing his identity to the league. He does it extremely nonchalant, the leaguers briefly wonder if he just forgot they were there for a moment.

Everyone takes the news relatively normal, and it's not that big of a deal. All just happy that Batman has officially trusted them 100%. No one really calls him Bruce though, especially not when he's in costume.

Thing is, they are constantly forgetting.

Not in the sense that Bruce Wayne is Batman. But that Batman is Bruce Wayne.

Every time Bruce unmasks in the safety of their shared space, they just get reminded of the fact.

The fact that Batman is so pretty.

The hero that strikes fear in the hearts of many criminals. The vigilante that has gone up against extreme foes. A man with no special powers aside from his mind. The world's greatest detective is a pretty playboy.

And sometimes, just sometimes, some of the heroes hit a buffering stage when Bruce does it in the middle of a conversation.

Maybe, just maybe, Bruce realizes it. Might just use it to his advantage while the effect is still there.

[lovefrombegonia]

If JL members are not screaming, crying, throwing up after Batman reveals his secret identity to them then the Brucie persona absolutely FAILED.

[violent138]

Baby Dick Grayson as Robin meets the League and they're all gobsmacked at how Batman, who has an emotional range that goes from cynical wet blanket to unstoppable force of nature, has such a seemingly normal and happy kid.

"He must get it from his mom." Green Lantern said, trying to build some kind of rapport. "She approve of you running around beating up bad guys, little man?"

"My mom is dead," Dick replied and Green Lantern paled.

"Oh that's uh--"

"It happened right in front of us." Dick continued conversationally, gesturing to himself and Bruce.

The rest of the League start frantically signalling to Hal without using words, abort! Abort!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 296

Through a series of miscommunication, the League is now under the impression that Batman, strange cryptid that he is, may or may not have given birth to the other vigilantes running around in Gotham. This was not helped by Bruce referring to all of his children, no matter how big they get, as his babies. Nor was it helped by Red Robin, in the middle of a narcolepsy-fueled imminent crash, mentioned how he had no mother. 

It also doesn’t help that no one is aware that they are in fact completely normal people, and not aspects of Gotham itself brought to life. Though really that’s on the bats themselves, because at this point they should at least count as undead. 

[littlefankingdom]

De-aged Tim this, de-aged Jason that...

What if ALL the Robins (yes, even Steph and Duke) get de-aged to the age of 12-13, and Bruce has to deal with 6 young teenagers that are thirsty for justice, don't listen half of the time, and hype each other up to do dumb shit (they already do that, but 13 years old are worst) He would be TIRED. He cannot keep them away from doing vigilante shit, it works with one 13 years old, not SIX, they will escape.

Dick is trying to teach the other how to go on the chandeliers. Jason is hidden somewhere with his own weight of food and books. Tim is doing whatever he wants because he isn't used to having supervision. Duke explains in details how he will escapes and you cannot stop him. Stephanie ALREADY has a father, she has PARENTS, don't build a father/daughter relationship with her, resist Bruce, don't, don't, don't... Damian is so close to killing one of them, they are so inferiors, father, what did you see in them???

Also, imagine the rogues and thugs when Batman shows up with 6 ROBINS, I would immediately give up.

[cocoabubbelle]

[jesncin]

Okay but as a mixed race (black and white) twin myself I fuck with your Martian content severely.

AAH THANK YOU FELLOW TWIN!! I'm so glad you like my martian shenanigans!!!

[thevoidstaredback]

Imagine if the Justice League and the Avengers met.

Like, I know there are canon crossover events between the two universes, but I'm not talking about those shenanigans. I don't want Dark Claw (Batman and Wolverine combined into one) and I don't want them all fighting each other...at least to start.

No. Imagine if it's just a normal Tuesday between invasions in NYC and everyone's chilling at Avengers Tower. Loki decides he's bored and opens a portal three floors down from the main living area in an open room. The alarms go off and The Flash or Wonder Woman stumble into the tower, the rest of the Justice League following suit.

Now, Loki is known for avoiding the consequences of his actions, so all he does is smile and disappear, leaving these strange heroes locked in a room in Avengers Tower. Because the alarms are blaring, the Avengers are soon suited up and are now facing the JL. Hijinks ensue as the Marvel Heroes and DC Heroes have to work together to get the JL back home.

Bonus points if the JL somehow manage to keep identities (pre reveal) from each other through a series of comedic close calls. It's probably Clint's fault. Tony would probably end up with the blame.

Extra bonus points if Spidey doesn't come in until later. Like, the heroes all want to spar against each other, and Peter shows up, joins in for fun, and absolutely tanks a hit from Superman and gets right back up. The only reason it surprises anyone is because the JL was pretty sure he was just a normal human intern or something (having confirmed that Metahumans don't exist here).

More extra bonus points if, after they confirm that Metahumans don't exist here and the only superpowers are from lab accidents, they find files about the Mutants. The Avengers tell them not to touch that with a 30 foot pole because they don't have the time to explain all of that right now and they really can't be splitting their attention from trying to get the JL home.

Dealer's choice on if there's any huge conflict or not. (Personally, I think this works as a comedy just fine as is, but I leave that up to you)

[toobytoobs]

Love fics where Batman’s identity is revealed as Bruce Wayne and the JL is just not connecting the dots.

But I need a fic specifically where the JL is in a situation where they have to lay low in a safe house or whatever for a few days while they figure out their next move and Bruce just takes off his cowl without explanation and somebody looks up to see BRUCE WAYNE in their secret hideout.

The entire JL: *tired from fighting and crashing in the nearest safe house to hide out in for the next few days while they figure out their next move*

Batman, putting a lot of thought into it: ‘well I don’t want to have to wear all my body armour and my cowl for the next few days, and I trust these people with my life, so I think I can safely take my mask off and reveal my identity’

Batman, without a word even though he should probably say a whole speech and explain why: *takes his cowl off and silently continues with his work in the corner of the room*

The ENTIRE JL: *doesn’t notice*

Someone, probably Hal Jordan: *looks up to see BRUCIE fucking WAYNE sitting in the shadows of their top secret hideout*

Hal:

Hal: WHAT THE FUCK

The JL: *freaking out because why is a civilian billionaire in the secret safe house and how did he get in without the worlds strongest and smartest heroes knowing?*

Also the JL: WHERE THE HELL IS BATMAN????

Bruce: *politely sitting in the corner, still working while he waits for someone to ask him a question instead of incoherently screaming at each other about him*

[daemonmage]

Crazy Time Shenanigans

The Trinity get de aged by a rogue wizard and now the rest of the JL have to deal with it. The Trinity doesn’t remember being superheroes. I’m gonna put them all at like 7. They gotta deal with Diana and Bruce just wanting to explore the space station cause this is Diana’s first time away from Themyscira and yeah she’s a bit scared but there’s so many things and she wants to explore. And Bruce is amazed cause holy crap he’s in space!! And Clark is the only one actually scared cause he wants his mom and dad. Basically they act way different than what the JL was expecting.

Zatanna says that the spell should go away on its own eventually so it’s the JL being babysitters till then.

I swear this spawned from exhaustion and a sadness that super-sons is gone forever. Idk again probably needs more building but I think it could be funny.

[violent138]

Bruce, exasperated: "I don't understand, why are you mad?"

Clark, arms crossed: "You're the detective. Detect."

Bruce: ...

[fullscoreshenanigans]

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 256

Look, Bruce had had no plans to be a cryptid, he swore. 

Vigilante? Yes. Dark abomination of the night? No. And he was, he was technically just a dude. A well trained (and maybe feral) human, but still just a human! Apparently not to the rest of Gotham, and he honestly should have nipped those rumors when they first started. 

But like, it was also perfect for his secret identity. No one exactly expected an undead shadow-beast to have a secret identity after all. Or an undead shadow beast and some sort of ghost child to have ones, as the small child- which turned to small children- he’d taken in discovered. 

Which, look, he had tried to get Dick (and later Barbara, and Jason, and Tim, and Steph, and by the time of Duke and Cass had given up) to stop. He had tried everything he could but no, nothing could stop them. Literally nothing that he had done could stop any of them, so he had trained them instead. 

And the children were all little shits. At least by the fact that Nightwing had lead the newly-made Justice League right where he was perching, continuing to chitter and giggle near hysterically as he ducked behind him. 

And somehow they were here to try and recruit him. Great. 

[poorlittleyaoyao]

So not only does LWJ chop off JGY's arm for NO REASON since Jin Ling is already safe (JGY releases Jin Ling and shoves him away as Baxiapilled Wen Ning attacks), but chopping JGY's arm off ACTIVELY ENDANGERS JIN LING because what keeps Baxia's attention on Jin Ling isn't that Jin Ling and JGY figuratively share blood, it's that JGY's actual physical blood spattered on Jin Ling's robes when LWJ cut the arm off.

Pointed shot of WWX noticing Jin Ling's sleeve after Baxia turns:

Replay of JGY shoving Jin Ling away (from a different angle than before, which makes clear that JGY pushes JL clear before WWX gets to him):

Never-before-seen footage of LWJ cutting off JGY's arm and the spray of blood going everywhere:

So chopping off the arm was actively detrimental to JL's safety in this version! THANKS, HANGUANG-JUN!

[sonik-kun]

Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao learning how to change baby Jin Ling's diaper for the first time. Shenanigans ensue.

[jesncin]

Ma'al probably still has Nhoj Enitnatsnoc in his contacts

He wasn't John Constantine when he met him, it doesn't count

Ma'al still has Constantine's band shirt (he stole it) because he's struggling with "the worst person ever just showed me a great time"