#Ive actually never been to new york

[juxieboxie]

I like the idea that merchandise with the Superman logo on it is Metropolis' "I ❤️ NYC" shirts. When a metropolitan area sees someone in it, it's like an immediate "yeah, tourist.". 

[keerysfreckles]

ok, so I saw your Newsies smau and I was thinking...

Reader plays Eurydice on Hadestown and a while back she broke up with her toxic ex. But then she meets one of the drivers (u can choose which one) at a show one day and yk they fall in love. Inspired by the song All I've Ever Known from Hadestown.

This is hyper specific and u can ignore this, I'm just rambling here

all i've ever known — LN4

pairing: lando norris x bway!reader

warnings: slight smut, allusions to smut, not proofread

a/n: sorry not sorry but ive never listened to the hadestown soundtrack SO going off the vibes of the show and what i know of it from tiktok 🤞🤞

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

for the past three months oscar has been begging lando to go to a broadway show with him. every time the brit is asked, he argues that lily should go with oscar. which he denies, explaining lily's hate towards musicals.

yes, maybe oscar was trying to set up one of his closest friends with his teammate. what could be so bad about him trying to be a good wing man?

after asking non stop during the weekend, lando finally agreed to fly to new york with oscar.

on the plane, oscar tried his best to explain the musical to lando. lando however only got more confused as oscar kept talking, so he opted to look it up on google instead.

"why are you so insistent with me going with you anyway? there's 18 other drivers to pick from," lando asks as he and oscar walk through the streets of new york, on their way to the theater. oscar kept looking down at his phone at google maps, displaying the directions to the address.

"first off, you're the closest friend i have on the grid. and second, there's someone i want you to meet."

lando chuckles, "so this was just to set me up?" oscar simply nods. "does my love life seem that depressing to you?"

oscar doesn't answer as they arrive at the theater, already having a large line queued. the mclaren drivers wait in line, signing things and taking pictures here and there as the line continues moving.

both men are handed a playbill at the entrance, to which lando immediately flips through as oscar leads them to their seats.

oscar points out to lando his friend, y/n, in the small booklet. her black and white picture is at the top of the second page, along with a male, who lando could only guess was the other lead in the show.

"your friend is the lead?" lando asks in shock.

oscar laughs, "yeah, she's actually going to school for musical theater at nyu."

lando whistles and looks through the cast again, now noticing a certain celebrity who's playing the male lead.

"jordan fisher?"

oscar only laughs again at his over enthusiastic friend. "you know, for someone who kept saying no, you seem pretty excited to be here."

before lando could come up with a proper comeback, the lights started dimming in the theater, hushing the crowd.

oscar kept stealing glances towards lando throughout the whole show. he couldn't help but smile as his face lit up as y/n first stepped out on stage.

lando looked like a kid in a candy store. his cheeks flushed and eyes wide, with a smile adorning his features.

at intermission lando immediately started praising y/n towards oscar, telling him how she was made for the stage.

"why don't you tell her that?"

lando only furrowed his eyebrows in response.

"at the end of the show people wait by the stage door to hopefully meet the cast. y/n promised she'd meet us out there."

the two continued talking. oscar answering any questions lando had about the show so far.

the second act of the show went the same as the first, lando being in awe of y/n and oscar smiling at his friend because of his actions.

intentional or not, oscar could tell lando already thought highly of y/n. now the australian could only hope they'd get along once they met.

as soon as the lights dimmed on stage, the audience roared in applause and cheers.

oscar and lando cheered louder when y/n stepped forward, there was no surprise there.

now the duo was waiting outside the theater, their arms wrapped around themselves to try and keep them warm in the chilly new york wind.

"you alright? you seem kind of nervous," oscar states, noticing lando swaying more then usual. a nervous habit he's picked up on over the past year or so.

lando simply shrugs. he was not about to share with oscar how he might've just fallen in love with girl on stage. he never believed in love at first sight before, but now his mind has been changed.

the stage doors opened, revealing y/n and her costar jordan fisher. both were eager to meet the fans who waited, and signed pictures and other items, as well as take pictures with the fans and answer any questions they had.

as y/n was finishing signing a picture for a fan, oscar called her over.

"oscar!" y/n giggled as she jogged towards him and lando.

oscar hugged and congratulated her, lando doing the same.

"so you're the famous lando he keeps talking about," y/n smiles up at him, taking in his features for the first time.

lando laughed before looking at oscar, "what on earth have you told her about me?"

"nothing bad don't worry," oscar pats his shoulder, as y/n simply chuckles.

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

three weeks have passed since y/n and lando met. they were lucky enough to get each other's phone numbers before departing on the night they met. the two haven't stopped talking since.

lando told y/n he'd be back in new york with his close friend max.

y/n couldn't help but grow excited at the news, counting down the few days until lando would be back in the states.

to add to the surprise of lando showing up, he was currently waiting outside the stage door, just like last time when he was here.

he made sure to keep the secret of being in the audience tonight, knowing how happy it would make y/n once she saw him there.

just like every other night, y/n was talking with the fans, simply going down the line taking pictures and signing items.

it was when she turned, "lando!" she laughed, finally noticing the brit standing off to the side.

she ran towards him, jumping against him to tackle him in a hug. he held his arms out, prepared for impact as he spun her around once.

"i thought you were getting here tomorrow," y/n holds onto his biceps as he sets her down, his hands never leaving her waist.

"i convinced my friend to leave a day early. mainly 'cause you had a show tonight."

"lan, that is so sweet," the nickname fell right off her tongue. lando couldn't help but feel his cheeks warm as she said it.

"only issue is he's still getting here tomorrow," lando frowns slightly, "he was busy filming a video for quadrant."

y/n nods in understanding, then an idea hits her. "well if you don't have a hotel already, you could stay at my apartment?"

lando chooses to ignore the feeling in his chest as she asked, simply nodding.

"great! my cars just parked in the garage behind the theater," y/n boldly grabs a hold of his hand, not that he'd complain for one second about it.

"sorry it's not as fancy as your many mclarens," y/n laughs as the two get in the small car.

"it suits you," lando smiles, sending a shiver down y/n's spine.

the continue continue talking on the way to y/n's apartment. the conversation flowing from lando's hobbies, to y/n's least favorite food, and to what they like to do on their free time.

"it might be a bit messy," y/n states as she unlocks the door.

lando looks around after stepping inside. the walls of the living room are decorated just as he imagined, colorful yet collected. everything went together.

"are you hungry? or just tired?" y/n asks.

"i'm insanely jet lagged, but was worth it staying up to see you perform again," he smiled, watching as a blush made it ways to y/n's cheeks.

"are you okay with the couch?"

lando nods, watching the girl get two blankets and a pillow from somewhere in a room down the hallway. lando guessed it was from her own room.

y/n now noticed lando was still wearing jeans, knowing their not the most comfortable item to sleep in.

after finding a pair of extra large sweatpants and a larger shirt for lando, the two exchanged goodnight. y/n closed her door as she heard the netflix app loading on her living room tv.

what both y/n and lando weren't aware of, is how they couldn't get the other out of their heads.

lando thought about how close he and y/n have gotten in the past month. he only wanted to know more about her.

y/n was in the same boat in her room, as she kept tossing and turning, messing up her sheets more and more. of course she would admit she likes lando, just never to his face.

she loved when he was around, and only wished he was around whenever the two were apart.

five minutes pass as y/n's done contemplating about the ordeal. 'now or never' she tells herself while getting out of her bed. she takes a deep breath before opening her bedroom door.

"lan?"

lando was stood in front of her, equally as startled. she notices his hand raised slightly, she could only guess he was going to knock on her door.

lando's gaze flickers between y/n's eyes, before silently pulling her face towards his. her hands immediately fall to his waist while their lips collide.

he simply pushes forward, guiding them into her room as the kiss only grows more heated.

y/n moans into lando's mouth as his teeth graze her bottom lip. the two's lips stay connected as y/n's legs hit her bed.

their heavy panted breaths mix as y/n brings lando's shirt over his head. she can't help but stare at his toned body, blushing as he catches her in the act.

lando helps her lean back onto her bed, kissing down her exposed neck, his pants growing tighter at the feeling of her fingers gripping onto his curls.

"lan," y/n mumbles, "lando," she calls again.

he looks down at her, his pupils wide and breathing jagged. "yeah?"

"do you want this? like really want this?" y/n asks, not wanting to force anything on him.

lando quickly nods, "y/n i've never been more sure of anything."

he leans down to kiss her, this one being slower than before. a silent agreement between the two, both knowing how they needed this.

[cityofmeliora]

Cardi wishes he could've had a real father-son relationship with Nihil 😢

despite the obvious bullying / disrespect / hostility between them, Cardi accepts Nihil as his father much more easily than he accepts Sister Imperator as his mother.

after Cardi found out they're related, he actually started to acknowledge Nihil as his father. at concerts, he's referred to Nihil as "my dad", "my daddy", "my daddy-o", "my papa", "pops", "my old man", "my father", and "my old pop" dozens of times. but he's never once referred to Sister Imperator as his mother in any way. did you notice that? because i think about this a lot.

Cardi is bitter about Nihil having been an absent father.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: You know… my dad… not much of a dad. Bristow, Virginia, USA (August 24, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: That’s my old man. Or was. Pretty sucky father, but he still can blow. Syracuse, New York, USA (August 18, 2023)

but i don't think Cardi's bitterness about Nihil being an absent father is anger or hatred towards Nihil for failing to be a parent... i think it's a lamentation of the fact that they never even got a chance because they didn't find out they were father and son until Cardi was 51 years old and Nihil was already dead.

every time Cardi said Nihil was a bad father / an absent father, he always ended up saying "it's okay." or "he's okay." Cardi wants things to be okay. at the show in Sydney, in particular, Cardi genuinely sounds so sad and disappointed about their situation.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: My old dad. He wasn’t much of a father –he kind of sucked at that– but he sure as shit blows really good. Yeah, no, he– he’s fine, he’s fine, except for being dead. Auburn, Washington, USA (August 4, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: My old man… First, he was just a fart that I met. And then I got to know that he was my dad. Yeah. He's– he was okay. Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA (August 12, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: You see– I’m your Papa, but that’s my papa. He’s an okay papa. Or he was. He’s dead now, but we sort of drag him out for the good shows. Buenos Aires, Argentina (September 24, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: That’s my old man. Well… He never was much of a papa to me, but… it’s okay. Sydney, Australia (October 3, 2023)

i think Cardi, deep down, wants to forgive Nihil. he wishes they could've had a real father-son relationship. Cardi still longs for the parent he always wanted and needed but never had.

Cardi frequently talked about how Nihil used to be a singer / entertainer like Cardi is now, and Cardi said he thinks he must have gotten his talent from Nihil. as someone so proud of his own accomplishments, someone who's been shown multiple times to believe he's better than all the other Papas before him, it's strange for Cardi to say he got his talent from someone else. Cardi never said these kinds of things before he found out Nihil was his father, never even acknowledging the fact that he was allowed to become the frontman of Ghost because of Nihil's blessing. but he's saying these things now because he clearly wants to feel a connection to Nihil– to his father, even though he doesn't like to admit it.

PAPA EMERITUS IV: He was, once upon a time, a singer like I am. And he did a few tunes. I don’t know if you’ve heard them. They’re okay– they’re okay. Bristow, Virginia, USA (August 24, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: But you know, he used to sing, like I do! And he was an okay singer, actually. I must have got it from somewhere, I guess. Athens, Greece (June 25, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: You know, back in the day, he used to be a singer. I hate to say it, but I think I got it from him. Yeah. He was an okay singer. Auburn, Washington, USA (August 4, 2023)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: That was my– my old papa. He’s okay. He’s not that good. And I guess the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree… So he’s okay. Mexico City, Mexico (September 18, 2023)

Nihil and Cardi never got along, but there was still hope that it wasn't too late for their relationship to develop. in RITE HERE RITE NOW, as Cardi struggled with confusion about his life and feelings of anxiety over his time as Papa ending, Nihil offered Cardi some "entertainer advice".

PAPA NIHIL: Son– You seem to think of your life as a zero-sum game. As if you living in a house means that nobody has ever lived in the same house before you. That nobody will ever live there after you. That even before there was a house there, nobody walked that ground it now stands upon. It's not pleasant to think about that, I know. You have to be more here. Right here. Right now. I have also lived a long life that I was precious about. Life is not always how you scripted it. I am almost 80 years old, and I'm dead. But I still am part of it. Making the people rock. Look, I always wanted to entertain people… and be a part of the night, be a part of the world of magic and wonder– showbiz. And I am. Even now that I am dead, I can still entertain those people for a brief moment every night. And that is meaningful. Do you think that is how I wanted it to pan out? PAPA EMERITUS IV: Thank you, dad. RITE HERE RITE NOW

while i think Nihil's advice is kinda terrible considering the context that Cardi was legitimately afraid his parents were going to murder him and put his body on display for his successor's fans (which was not an irrational fear, because they literally actually did do that to his older brothers), i do think Nihil was genuinely speaking from his heart, and it got through to Cardi. that was the first time they had ever addressed each other directly as "dad" / "son".

so it seemed like they were starting to make real progress in their relationship. unfortunately, they're right back to bullying / disrespecting / being hostile to each other in the post-credits scene, so who knows how much that moments of sincerity and vulnerability actually affected them. 🙄

but yeah. ugh. it fucking kills me the way Cardi so clearly wants to forgive Nihil and wishes he could've had a real father-son relationship with him. they cannot fucking stand each other. but i think they could have loved each other. in a better life.

[roseadleyn]

Hi, while I dont know much about ACOTAR beyond what Ive read about it online, I want to ask for your opinion on why its depiction of the fae is dissatisfactory to the point they "arent fae", because in general it is accepted that there are multiple different ways to interpret mythical creatures such as vampires, werewolves, dragons and fey. Vampires have been depicted as everything from predatory, blood-thirsty abominations to cute and loveable heroes in children's media.

hii, how are you? i'm actually glad you've asked because now i have a reason to rant lmao

portrayal of every mythical creature varies but the mythical aspect is still kept in, yk? like for example,,, vampires have the oddly translucent skin, too-long fangs, the moon affecting them etc in every every every medium they've been depicted in ( or as far as i've seen ).

sarah j maas' fae portrayal is just. people. humans with powers and pointy ears. like feyre wears leggings and sweaters and teaches art class; what part of that is whimsical or fae? velaris is just new york if you could never leave. what is so special about it? where's the magic? the spring court wasn't very fae either but it had pools of starlight, will 'o' the wisps, etc. there was fantasy, magic.

to me it's just unsatisfactory because it's not magical or fantasy. i could pick up the average Dark Contemporary Billionaire Mafia Romance book and get pretty much the same dynamics. like you're telling me the court of night... has DAYLIGHT??? no. absolutely not. it should be night always, the plants grow sustained by dark magic or whatever.

like write the fae whatever way you wish but give them NUANCE, MAGIC, YOU KNOW THINGS THAT AREN'T NORMAL. like i don't want rhysand breaking the human status quo by fucking assaulting feyre, i want him to be too eerily flexible or have too many teeth or SOMETHING otherworldly. give tamlin a tail. lucien has thorns along his collarbones now. like please. be so fucking fr.

ALSOO how nesta and elain were changed by the cauldron but nothing changed about their physical appearance other than their ears??? they should have oddly translucent skin that shivers thinly over their veins because of their power, nesta's hands could be permanently tinged red to show how she wrangled the cauldron's heart from it, i'm sad at the lost potential now

anyways i yapped a lot but i hope this makes coherent sense <3 if u want some good depictions of fae in ya i'd recommended holly black's books

[vellichorius]

this is the moment i realised that the empire state building was not the chrysler building

the empire state building makes me so mad. like ooh you’re so big and bad and tall. you will never have the swag of the chrysler building. you are dust

[wcnderlnds]

here for you | peter parker

・❥・ summary: after getting kicked out, peter comes to the rescue like always ・❥・word count: 1.1k ・❥・warnings: n/a ・❥・ authors note: this is my first time writing for my beloved peter parker!! its also the first time ive wrote anything in like a month. this was a request from this list. feel free to request any!

The rain was falling hard in New York City. It was one of those cold, rainy nights that had most people bustling through the streets with their umbrellas hurrying to get home. Unfortunately, you were one of those people. The heavy thud of the raindrops falling on your umbrella and the usual sound of the busy New York traffic were the only things keeping you grounded in that moment. The puddles on the pavement soaked your favourite pair of boots as you aimlessly wandered, suitcase full of belongings trailing along with you as you dragged it across the concrete. This wasn’t how your day was supposed to go. Your original plan had been to sit in front of the fire, cup of cocoa in your hand as you watched Love Actually. Too bad you had forgotten to pay your darn rent. 

Money had been tight lately. Balancing a part time job and university was no easy feat. So much so that you had ended up sacrificing your job for the sake of your mental health. You had thought your savings would be enough until you had a better grip on things to find another job but you were wrong. The well had run dry and after another missed rent payment, your landlord had kicked you out. 

When it rained, it definitely poured.

As you stepped into a particularly deep puddle, the familiar sound of a ‘thwip’ sounded above you. Craning your neck up, you spotted none other than the famous Spider-Man perched on a lamppost, head tilted as he looked at you almost like he was examining you. The corners of your lips almost tugged up into a smile as you imagined the concern in his eyes under that mask. Peter Parker had shared his secret with you almost the day he’d found out himself. You were his best friend after all – the two of you told each other everything. The eyes on his mask widened in questioning.

“Got kicked out,” you shrugged. Saying it out loud made it feel all the more real. Not that walking through the streets with everything you owned in a suitcase didn’t.

After checking to make sure nobody was around to hear, Peter spoke. “Meet me at my place. Gotta take care of something first.”

With that, he swung away no doubt on his way to tackle some crime. At least in a city like New York, Spider-Man was never short of something nefarious to keep him occupied. The whole city was like a hub for superheroes and criminals at this point. It was so much so that you were almost desensitised to it. Maybe that had something to do with the fact your best friend was one of those superheroes. Your feet carried you to Peter’s apartment, knocking on the door when you approached. No answer. He must still be out. A sigh passed your lips as you sat on the floor, back against the wall, legs stretched out in front of you as you waited for that nerdy, cute friend of yours to arrive. The raindrops from your jacket were dripping on the floor. Huh, you hadn’t realised it had been raining that hard. Probably too lost in your own thoughts. 

It was ten minutes later when the door to the apartment opened – Peter must have swung in through his window. The pros of being Spider-Man meant you didn’t have to deal with such meander things as walking. Sometimes you wished that spider had bit you so you could swing your way through the city without a care. His mask was in his hand as you stepped through the threshold, the door shutting behind you. His big, brown eyes looking at you with concern.

“I know you have questions and I’ll answer but I really need to get out of these wet clothes right now,” you cringed as you pulled your jacket off, your jeans sticking to your legs.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, sure, sure. You can… use the bathroom. You know where it is,” Peter nodded, his cheeks tinting pink at the mere thought of you getting changed in his apartment. He knew he shouldn’t have thoughts like that but he couldn’t help himself. Throughout the years Peter had somewhat started to develop feelings for you. It was something he beat himself up about every single day because there was no way you felt the same way for him. Why would you? You were incredible and he was… him. No, Peter would always keep this secret to himself. There was no way he was ever going to lose you so if it only meant friendship then he’d take it.

“You should have told me you were struggling to pay rent!” Peter exclaimed. Once both of you had gotten changed, you’d situated yourselves on Peter’s couch, a blanket thrown over the two of you as you filled him in on your situation.

“Peter, no offence but you can barely afford to pay your own rent let alone help me.”

“I would’ve found a way.”

A smile lit up your face, hand reaching out to give his a squeeze. “I know and I am so lucky to have someone like you looking out for me like that but I could never ask that of you.”

Peter’s eyes glanced down at your hand atop his, barely containing how sweaty his palm was starting to feel at your simple touch. He was down bad. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed down a gulp, shaking his head. “You know I’m always going to be there for you, right? Always. No matter what happens. I would do anything and everything in this world to help you and protect you. There’s nothing more precious to me than you.”

His words hit you straight in the feelings, your heart beating a mile a minute like it was about to burst out of your chest. The sincere look in his eyes, the way he always seemed to make you his number one priority – there was nobody who looked after you as fiercely as Peter did. Despite everything he’d been through with his family and losing Gwen, he had never let you down. The second your eyes met his it was like the whole world had stopped still. Your breath hitched, caught in your throat as Peter’s delicate fingers reached out to gently tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. His thumb brushed your cheek, the gesture making your stomach do flips.

“Stay here with me…. for as long as you want,” his voice was barely above a whisper.

“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” you leaned into his touch. The moment lingering between you, neither wanting it to end. There would be many, many more moments just like this one – you just didn’t know it yet.

taglist: @strawb3rrystar @decaf-mother @ldydeath @mistysconcilium

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 13

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

I Need A Hero by @theroyalsavage

The "Nico is a superhero, Will is a med student" AU nobody asked for or wanted.

OBSESSED WITH THIS AU OBSESSED WITH THIS AU OBSESSED WITH THIS AU. I AM LOSING MY MIND AND HAVE READ IT SO MANY DOZENS OF TIMES. genuinely one of my top faces like its so fucking GOOD!!! the romcom romance of it all!! makes me lose it!!! the angst of loving someone who is constantly putting himself on the front lines!! the fear of not knowing if he's coming home!! being his healer, holding his life in your hands because he doesn't trust it with anyone else!!!! what if i rioted!!! what if i chewed clean through my ceiling!!!!! what if i swallowed my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i clawed my way out of the pit of despair!!!! i am!! gonna!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!

2. As If His Hands Were Enough (to Hold an Avalanche Off) by @theroyalsavage

Nico di Angelo has been through enough to know life doesn't always work out the way you plan. But fate is a funny thing, and, in Nico's junior year of college, it hands him salvation in the form of freckled cheeks and a smile like the sun.

OH dude this author is actually everything to me. prepare for an onslaught of their stuff bc i am OBSESSED, but this one especially....oh it's special man. this had me LOSING MY MIND. seph’s acceptance made its way into my devotion scrapbook. never be ashamed of loving anybody….what a fucking thesis. i also ADORED how a) story didn’t end with them getting together, went thru them learning each other too and b) nico didn’t get fixed by dating will. he got fixed by loving himself, something he learned to do by loving will. crying.

3. Of Gods and Men by @theroyalsavage

There is something profoundly strange about the forest behind Will Solace’s new house. The trees, it seems, breathe magic. The truth is this: there are things that the forest hides that humans cannot understand. Nico di Angelo is one of them.

I LOVE PARTICULAR AUS!!!!!! AND I LOVE YOU ROYAL SAVAGE!!!!! dude god nico and mortal will is always gonna knock me flat bc its so canon, you know? will is going to be a consort of a god one day. and to read it in fic has me HOWLING but this one in particular....OH the ending is gonna knock yall flat fr!!! if you like percy refusing immortality for annabeth youre gonna LOVE this!!

4. Kitchen Nightmares by @theroyalsavage

Nico is the owner and head chef of an upscale restaurant in Hell's Kitchen, New York City. There's nothing easy about running a business, especially when you have to juggle an overprotective father, a college-age sister, and a staff about as under control as a stampede. The last thing Nico needs is a rival in the form of the ugliest food truck on the face of the planet. And yet, that's exactly what he gets. Of food fights, fledgling friendships, and Nico di Angelo's stupid little soft spot for Will Solace.

i know ive literally said it like five times now but NO ONE does an au like theroyalsavage idc. dude romeo & juliet but food truck and fancy restaurant?? hello!!!! omg!! i literally sat my ass down and devoured this i could not stop myself. and then i hit the end and started it right back up again. the love without having the space to establish anything….inherent homoeroticism of rivalry…..my heart!!

5. don't wanna be lonely, just wanna be yours by @theroyalsavage

Will Solace, café manager extraordinaire, just wants to coast through their monthly open mic night in peace. He definitely is not banking on meeting a handsome stranger with the voice of the gods and the death glare of a high-ranking member of the KGB. And yet, that's exactly what he gets.

telling someone you’re not even dating you’re in love with them after like five months is insane behaviour will solace i get you 😭😭 he is so real in every scenario all the time like he is genuinely perfect for nico who is equally as insane and deserves someone who is fully obsessed with him. god.

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[arachnoia]

gone ➶ . ˚ ༉‧₊˚ˑ༄ؘ | miguel o’hara

miguel o'hara x fem! reader

a/n: i think that atp, im just a miguel o’hara writer (not that im complaining but gimmie requests pls !! theyre open on my acc !!) this is also a drabble ive been wanting to write because i’ve always wanted to write angst (well tbh idk what this is?) but wasn’t sure how to? lowkey i want this to be a story that isn’t just a one shot but lmk if you guys want more of this? im just trying stuff out!

pt2 - ‘holy shock’ pt 3- ‘finally’

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Breathe in, breathe out...”

The beautiful city stunned you as you stood on top of a random building, breathing in its modern, refreshing look.

It kind of took your breath away, contradictory to what you just told yourself a few seconds ago.

You barely finished another mission as your universe’s one and only Spider-Silk. Was it tiring? Hell yes, no doubt. But you never took a moment to actually admire Earth-928’s Nueva York, where Spider Society headquarters was located. Nueva York was also the place where you were if it wasn’t fighting crime and going to grad school in your own universe’s New York.

You usually swing to the top of a business building, a little bit far from Spider Society headquarters. It was quiet and peaceful. It was your thinking place where you could release any emotions you wanted to spill when you couldn’t anywhere else since you can’t really spill your emotions if you were to be taken seriously.

Plus, the one person who you expressed your deepest emotions, is gone.

As you simply stared into space while remembering the feeling you felt this morning.

You noticed some tears gathering at the outside corners of your eyes. Your eyelids began to droop, and you began to sob quietly as your chest hurt from, what some call “heartbreak”.

To be completely honest though, it was just melancholy and depression from what happened hours prior.

You couldn’t say that the emotion you felt for him or what you feel is loving him because it wasn’t love.

It felt like something stronger. But you knew it wasn’t reciprocated back.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“So why don’t you just kick your professor’s ass?” Miguel joked. His laugh made you feel warm inside. It was a cute laugh in your opinion.

The two of you were sitting down, at the building you like to think at, munching on sweet, baked, fig empanadas from a lady's restaurant in your universe. Doña Rosa? She was a nice lady and safe to say, Miguel would definitely come back for the empanadas.

“Please, O’Hara. I’d get simply kicked out and would have to never show my face ever again…But the bastard deserves it for ripping apart my paper on exploring different dimensions with colliders!”

He chuckled. “Right, because you have experience. Do you not? Y/l/n?”

“EXACTLY. BUT NOT EVEN GRAMMARLY HELPED ME NOT GO THROUGH HIS REIGN OF TERROR!” You felt pissed, but Miguel found it absolutely hilarious to see you worked up as you angrily took a bite out of your empanada. It was cute.

“Swear to god, that bitch is scarier than most of the stupid anomalies we fight,” You pouted and glanced at him. He looked like he was trying to not start laughing even harder than he was before. “Y/l/n. Just calm down it doesn’t matter. Plus didn’t you mention it was like 10% of your grade? You’ll be fine it’s not that bad.”

You smirked at him. “Oh, so you’re trying to say it’s still bad?”

“No…but look at me.” You turned to his direction as he placed his empanada on a napkin next to the rest of the lot and he rested his hands on your shoulders.

“Breathe in. Breathe out.” You chuckled at his direction.

“Miguel, you sound like a yoga instructor."

“No no, I’m being serious here! No dejas que esa mierda te moleste, okay?”

You raised your eyebrow and smiled playfully. “Alright, like you’re the calmest person on this Earth,” He laughed. “I’m not but you’re not like me. I don’t want that to affect you, especially because it doesn’t matter.”

“Now. Breathe in…”

You softly smiled at him, to which he returned, “And breathe out.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“It's pleasant, isn't it?” Peter replied as he began to go in your direction, breaking up your train of thought. He and Mayday gave you a sad look as they walked over to hug your shaky form.

“How-?”

“Y/n, I saw you swinging here after barely teleporting here. What’s wrong?”

You didn’t know what to say. You felt a metaphoric weight on your shoulders as you struggled to tell Peter.

“Was it perhaps…Miguel?” You felt like laughing. Here you were, crying while Peter was acting full-on dad and Mayday was playing with her Spider-Man beanie. It would be a very unusual sight to someone who was just viewing you three at a distance.

“I’m just going to take that as a yes,” Peter said as he sat down on the roof and patted to the space next to him. “Take a seat, Y/l/n.”

You followed his directions and sat down.

It was quiet and a bit windy. It gave you a sad memory and you felt like you were drowning in it.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You felt a rush of anxiety and couldn’t breathe.

“I CAN’T. I CAN’T DO IT, O’HARA," you screeched, scratching Miguel's arm in excruciating pain.

“YES YOU CAN, Y/L/N!! CALM DOWN!”

The two of you were in a mission to stop an anomaly. You were one of the first to start attacking…and one of the first to be badly injured. Your right thigh was impaled with several medium sized pieces of glass from being thrown to a glass building and you ran out of webs to shoot. You froze and wanted to cry, feeling vulnerable.

Miguel went over to try to help you as the other Spiders went to attack said anomaly. You knew each other as friends since you were one of the first Spiders ever to be recruited to the Spider Society so you knew each other pretty well. When he saw you injured, he quickly saved some civilians and rushed to your direction.

“Yes, you can Y/l/n. Look at me. Breathe in.” Your eyes widened as you saw him grab the largest piece of glass. He had 2 pieces of cloth with him. “No, stop looking at them and look at me. Breathe in, goddamn it.”

You stared at him and he gave you a piece to bite down. You tried to calm down as he took the piece out and screamed into the cloth. “I’m going to wrap it up, okay?” He said, earning a nod from you. “Good girl. Now breathe in…”

“…Breathe out.” You said.

“That’s my girl,” He said as he smiled at you and carried you with the rest of the civilians.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Breathe in, breathe out,” You whispered. Saying that phrase now just made your tongue feel bitter. Like eating a sour candy except it doesn’t turn out sweet at the end, but just making you frown.

Peter smiled and turned to you, “Now tell me what happened, kid. People don’t just run away before saying hi to their favorite person, therefore being me? !”

You scoffed, “Peter, no offense but why does it matter to you? You should be focusing on other things other than my well-being.”

Peter raised his eyebrow and rolled his eyes. “Listen, kid. You and the other Spiders like Gwen or Miles, matter to me.”

He covered Mayday’s ears. “Shit, even Miguel. If I see you mopey and sad and what not, of course, I’m going to be worried!”

“Really?” You were shocked. No one really has given you that fatherly attention like Peter has.

The only one who would really listen to you, was Miguel. But you can’t really rely on him now, can you?

“Yup. Now tell me what’s going on? Is everything okay?” Your breath hitched and you froze.

You then took a deep breath, sighed, and smiled bitterly.

“Miguel, he told me he wants me gone from his life,” you said as you felt a sudden pang in your chest.

Just feeling those words leave your lips made the melancholy come back even stronger.

And it hurt like fucking hell.

[last-starfighter]

plural playlist? plural playlist

ive been makin a playlist thats all "songs that make me think about bein plural/have plural vibes/are about trauma and systems/whatever" for a hot second. im not 100% happy with it but yknow i think we all need a distraction rn so.

have like 3 hours of ✨songs to split yr personality to✨ /s

if u vibe with this u can reblog it. this aint just for did systems or endo systems or trauma systems or whatever its for anyone who wants it.

content warnings: self-destructive vibes/suicidal ideation, drugs/alcohol, unreality, amnesia, bad choices, bad headmate relationships, breakups, fuckin kpop for some reason

tracklist + explanations under the cut

hive mind - tmbg i think this one speaks for itself

birdhouse in yr soul- tmbg listen this one has fucked up headmate to host vibes tell me im wrong. im yr only friend/im not actually yr friend/make a place in yr soul for me.

voices in my head- naked eyes pure goddamn 80s cheese but the lyrics are on point

simple and clean- utada hikaru raise yr hand if yr a sora fictive, have a sora fictive in yr system, or were personally victimized by the end of kingdom hearts 2. yeah thought so.

my truth's a lie- psylosia i think this ones supposed to be about schizophrenia but tbh it works.

where is my mind? - the pixies ik its a cliche but you cant really have a crazy playlist without it.

paranoid android- radiohead again. ik its a cliche but here we are. it fuckin works. like half of radioheads back catalog does

blow up your mind- the cramps ok i know this is mostly here cause i wanted more punk shit but it works for how i feel about this shit? idk

my own worst enemy - lit tfw you have that One Guy who keeps makin the WORST DECISIONS (its me im the guy)

the becoming- nine inch nails the me that you know/he doesnt come round much/that part of me/isnt here anymore. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO FUCKIN SAY.

i'm not there - sonic youth ok this is mostly there for the title and for the good distorted guitar but fuck me i like noise rock

never let me down again- depeche mode ik what this song is rly about but. sometimes you just gotta let the other guy take the wheel.

carousel - tempting fate thx @eklesia-system for this one- it has THE VIBES

disintegration - the cure and now that you know that im breakin to pieces/ill put out my heart and ill feed it to anyone/crying for sympathy crocodiles cry/for the love of the crowd and the three cheers for everyone

otherside- red hot chili peppers this ones for all the fictives out there who want to blow up their lives.

bodies (ghosts) - 1000 eyes can you believe we aint never played signalis? it has the vibes tho.

myth- delerium thx @endogenesis-evangelion for this one. its on fuckin point.

voices in my head- steve aoki/bassjackers/teddy bee can you tell part of this was just searchin spotify for 'voices in my head' lol. i think it has the vibes but ymmv

my favorite stranger - depeche mode can you tell host really fuckin likes depeche mode. lmao. ht to @the-masked-bandits-system for this one tho

voices inside my head- the police again do i really need to say anything

the passenger- siouxie and the banshees this is for all of us who sit and watch while other people do shit

the projectionist- thoushaltnot another @endogenesis-evangelion banger. thx forte

disconnection notice - sonic youth the narrator may not be plural but hes profoundly alienated from everyone and everything and thats close enough /meme

clones (we're all) - smashing pumpkins can you believe that there aint anything from siamese dream that fits on here. that title is ~pluralcore~ af. but nooooo

personality crisis - new york dolls is this a new guy or am i going crazy??? who knows???

imaginary friends - splitsville i hate the 'i' word as much as the next headmate but the song is good so.

who do you want to be - oingo boingo listen i know this is about 80s tv pop culture but like. ~source separation~ vibes. who do you wanna be today?

am i awake - they might be giants ik ik ik ik. tmbg is lemon demon for 80s/90s kids. but this has the dissociative vibes

voices in my head - falling in reverse what can i say about this one other than that its got the content warnings and its catchy.

birthright - celldweller thx @eklesia-system for this one - i think i got a new fave band from yr recs cause this fucks

lucretia my reflection - sisters of mercy lucretia / my reflection / dance the ghost with me

personal jesus- depeche mode feelin unknown n yr all alone/flesh and bone by the telephone/lift up the reciever ill make u a believer

voices in my head - vicetone + chelsea collins anxiety, wanting yr fuckass headmate to fuckin shut the fuck up

voices in my head - dj univxrsel another one from the spotify mines

imaginary friends - deadmau5 we needed more good fuckin crunchy edm on here. im tryin to get more into edm so if u got recs hmu. also fuck the title but this slaps

voices in my head (they said) - jack harris instead, instead of panicking again/ i'm making friends with the voices in my head

mad world - tears for fears i know this songs kind of a meme but the lyrics man. if you got hte trauma and u dont listen to tears for fears yr missin out on a band that gets it

whistling in the dark - they might be giants theres only one thing that i know how to do well/and ive often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well/and thats be you/be what yr like/be like yrself

over my head - lit overwhelm is a v system feel for us ig? ok ill own it this is mostly here to lift up the mood at the end.

imaginary friend (english version) - itzy ok this song is the whole reason this playlist exists. hosts partner is real into kpop and was listenin to this and we started laughin about how big the system mood is with this one and how"LYRICS GUY YR EXPERIENCES ARENT UNIVERSAL." it made me wanna see how many songs i could find about the system experience tho. i dont like kpop. at all. but this one speaks 2 me.

@endogenesis-evangelion @lizardywizard @furyfuzz @eklesia-system @thegmsys @the-masked-bandits-system all either wanted to see this playlist or recced songs to put on it. i didnt get to everyones songs so if u want urs on here- well ill see if i can cram it in somewhere lol

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Jägermeister

Chapter Three: First Drift/Last Drift

Newt and Hermann had to wait while the doctors qualified to perform neurological imaging were tracked down at the various parties raging across the Shatterdome. 

They waited in the triage area, where the beds were only separated by a curtain. As soon as the medics left, Newt climbed out of his bed and wheeled his IV over to open the curtain.

The medics had already poked, prodded, and x-rayed everything more accessible than their brains. Newt had been diagnosed with a concussion, two cracked ribs, and a sprained wrist. He considered himself pretty darn lucky. He’d walked away with worse injuries after a fistfight with Aleksis Kaidonovsky over whether or not a hot dog was technically a sandwich. 

Newt and Hermann both had subconjunctival hemorrhaging, but Newt also had scratched his cornea. The medics gave him an eyepatch after applying a topical anesthetic directly to his eyeball, which had grossed Hermann out so much that he asked them to close the curtain again. 

Not long after that, they were wheeled off to imaging– and the OR for Newt once they got a good look at his brain�� and then to separate rooms.

It was late by the time Newt’s medic turned off the lights and shut the door behind her. His room was surprisingly dark. He had expected at least some ambient light from the monitors he was hooked up to, but all they did was show his rising heart rate. 

Newt had always been a little bit afraid of the dark. When he snuck into Jaeger Refuse Storage to scavenge parts for his DIY PONs, he had taken three flashlights with him. One was actually a headlamp, but he still had to hold another in his mouth just to have a hand free for the Milking Machine. If anyone could use a bioluminescent tongue, it was Newt. 

Now his fear of the dark was compounded with some sort of medical phobia from Mutavore’s memories of being experimented on by his masters. 

Newt's room was silent, except for the insectile clicking and hissing noises in his head. Medical had assured him the noises were just a byproduct of his brain biopsy. Such ASMR-ass sounds should have been Easy Listening to a guy with music taste as eclectic as Newt’s own, but there was something inherently distracting about them, and Newt had a hard enough time focusing on a good day. 

There were moments, ever since his first drift, when Newt felt like he should be much taller. That had always been true, but now he felt like he should be much, much taller. As in, 2,500 tons of awesome or awful. Whatever you wanna’ call it. 

That was no big deal, even if it did give him vertigo. Worse were the moments when Newt felt like he was the one making the hissing and clicking noises. Not just the shifting pressure in his skull, but Newt himself. Corrugated tymbals or abdominal spiracles. Stridulation. Something like that. Entomology had never been one of Newt’s specialties, so his knowledge was mostly limited to kaiju skin lice.

This was worse than the extreme height dysmorphia, because the noises didn’t come from the kaiju. The noises came from their masters- the colonising race that Newt had already begun to refer to in his mind as the Precursors. 

In Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993), one of the main characters said, “Well, dinosaurs were around for 150 million years, and man has only been around for two million years. Who knows? One day, dinosaurs could make a comeback.” 

At least, according to the subtitles. New hadn’t rewatched it since he met a Mako, found out what “Oji-chan” meant, and devoted himself to learning Japanese for the twelve whole days it took him, because they had three fucking alphabets. It helped that he had basically every kaiju movie memorized by the time he turned nine. Not counting the American Godzilla films, because they were never as good as the Japanese ones. (Not counting the 1998 Godzilla film set in New York, because that one was objectively if unintentionally hilarious. Newt’s favorite part was when Godzilla got pregnant.)

Anyway, Newt now knew that the numbers cited in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II (1993) were not entirely accurate. It was more like 65 million years and 300,000 years, respectively. 

The Precursors were around for a lot longer than that . 

One day, they could make a comeback. 

The noises in Newt’s head grew even more pervasive as his heart rate finally fell out of sheer exhaustion and he drifted towards uneasy unconsciousness.

His first and last drift had been like night and day.

Mutavore’s brain had been damaged, so Newt experienced their drift in a series of strobing images. It reminded him of an old film reel with too much dead space between the cells. During more modern movies, the screen was still technically dark for a split second in between each individual frame, so for every hour of film you watched, you were sitting in darkness for twenty minutes. 

You didn’t notice, because your mind was busy filling in the blanks, but the images from Mutavore’s brain were too disjointed to autofill. Instead, the darkness in between turned each one into its own jumpscare: visions of slash and burn colonization, medical experimentation that was closer to reverse vivisection than growing clones in test tubes, row after row of constrained kaiju like some kind of even more fucked up version of The Matrix . 

The soundtrack was even worse. The noises were everywhere, surround sound, as if bugs were burrowing into Newt’s very brain. 

He didn’t understand why the Precursors needed to make noises like that if they communicated via a hive mind. There was just no biological imperative for them to go around sounding like a goddamn Madagascar hissing cockroach. It couldn’t even be an intimidation tactic, since they sent kaiju to do all their heavy life taking.

The entire experience had been equal parts terrifying and metamorphic. It left Newt with shaking hands, a racing heart, and the general feeling that someone else had just claimed squatter’s rights to his brain. 

The second drift was different. Otachi Jr.’s fetal brain may have been undamaged, but it was also underdeveloped, so its connection to the hive mind wasn’t as overpowering as Mutavore’s had been. The flow of information was smoother too, as if Newt’s brain had been terraformed into something kaiju compatible, just like humanity had terraformed Earth for them with ozone depletion and carbon-dioxide pollution.

Sure, the baby had been screaming in the background the whole time, but in Newt’s experience, that was just what babies did. If anything, it drowned out the Precursors’ biologically unimperative noises. 

The difference between the two drifts could have been exclusively due to the variables of the kaiju brains, but Newt’s working hypothesis was that it had all come down to Hermann. 

If Jaegers were built to contend with kaiju, it made some sort of sense that both would require two people to share the neural load, but that had never occurred to Newt, who was notoriously terrible at asking for help. For six doctorates, he had moved his couch between dorm rooms with the help of only a rolling desk chair. The only reason he had made a second squid cap for his PONs unit was redundancy. 

Hermann had been there, anyway, when Newt needed him. He was there now, when Newt woke up screaming, one of his hands finding Newt’s carotid artery, just as it had after that first terrifying and metamorphic drift with Mutavore. 

...

@lastdaysofwar

[blorbo-from-the-cosmos]

Helloo! 🎀 I totally understand disconnecting from social media because that’s something I do too and life can get so busy.

Have your beliefs changed regarding shifting or has something changed in your journey? Have you been shifting, do you have any new DRs or favorite experiences to share?

hi!!!

oh my gosh, YES. my beliefs have changed so much. Gonna get controversial for a sec because being away from medias regarding shifting (shiftblr, shifttok, etc) and allowing myself to come to my own conclusions through trial and error have really changed the way I view both shifting and manifesting in general. while many people see it as a method specifically to gain material and physical results, I personally view it as an internalized state that allows me to be open to tangible results through working on my own personal fulfillment.

This is not to make myself sound high and mighty, please don’t take it as me trying to sound better than anyone because of course you are your own creator and therefore the center of YOUR universe. MY universe, I simply see, is quite different from others who are within the shifting and manifesting community and that is okay!! I think the biggest thing is I no longer feel that yearning and despair for a physical result which is really common when you’re newer at this sort of thing. I accept what is and adapt it to fit my own narrative. Ive experienced a lot of change this way in both physical, alternate, and spiritual realities.

Nobody come for me but I actually don’t really focus on shifting anymore! 😭 NOT THAT I DONT BELIEVE AND DONT STILL DO IT WHEN I CAN MAKE THE EFFORT, OKAY??? I have actually shifted a few times since my last time on this blog and I promise to share those stories in due time <3 it’s just that when I FIRST discovered shifting I was barely 18/19 or so, focused on shifting for my y/n moment into shows and media from my childhood and teenagehood. I was a full time college student with all the time in the world, lost within an identity crisis, and without a speck of knowledge on what it is I wanted to do with my life (both in this world, and any other).

I am now a college graduate, paying my way through my second degree with a well paying full time job. I’ve gone to concerts, raves, events, and festivals. I’ve traveled many places I never thought I’d see between San Diego and New York. I am planning to move and start my dream life in Seattle, as well as actively pursuing traveling abroad. I have less time to focus on shifting for “the plot,” and my manifesting and shifting is saved more for daily things like the assumption I make true that I’m always on time no matter how late I leave and that the light is always green when I need it on the way to work lol.

Have I given up on those realities I dreamed of as a teen? No, of course not. I’m more confident than ever I’ll see the ones I never got to and will shift again to the ones I have. However, it’s not a pressing matter since I know I can do it whenever I want as long as I make the effort, so it sort of sits on the back burner. I’m fully in control of reality and no longer stress about molding it, because it molds itself for me 🙂‍↕️

[yippeeometer]

May I request Loui and York hc's?

*not forcing ofc!!*

oh its always deeply confusing to be around them. unstoppable force (york's love to just fucking lie) versus immovable object (loui's willingness to go along with the bit)

'so what did you do this weekend' the gullible asks. 'oh recently we've been starting an underground organisation to harm more turtles. fuck those shelly bastards' york says. this weekend he was irrationally despondent because crash bandicoot 5 was cancelled. 'oh fr plastic straws were actually a personal idea of ours' loui spent the weekend listening to him rant

bc loui is a crazy man who can't help but be in love with emotionally stunned losers. 'hey honey its fine if u are upset about the game' 'im not ive never been upset i dont have feelings' sureeeee pal

80% sure york wouldn't realise that the guy trying to hold his hand and calling him pet names is into him. he just thinks loui has reached a new level of commitment to the bit, in which the bit is trying to get him as worked up as possible. its working.

yeah theyre not going to admit they like each other. loui thinks its obvious already. york is stubborn. theyre in the same bed making out and its very, very (not) casual.

none of them can explain their choices to their families. 'yeah me and york are dating' '....are you sure?'/ 'yeah me and loui are dating' 'why u literally said you hated him two days ago'

bc loui is kicking his feet giggling flirting. york is completely still. he has not shown emotion since 1993. therefore the south assumes he is completely uninterested. york is also an asshole oh my god guys can't you tell complaining is my way of interacting.

[freelafan4life545]

Yesterday, what started out as another funny tumblr comment chat with @capt-t-leela

Became this...

Followers, consider this my gift to you this year.

One Cozy Xmas

The dull hum of the reinforced apartment walls was punctuated by the occasional crash and distant explosion. It was Xmas Eve, and Fry and Leela sat huddled in their cozy, makeshift sanctuary. Outside, Robot Santa roamed the streets of New New York, unleashing his annual reign of terror on the naughty and nice alike.

"Well," Fry said, leaning back against the pillow fort’s lumpy walls, "it’s not exactly the festive evening we planned, but at least we’re not on Robot Santa’s hit list this year."

Leela chuckled softly, adjusting the fluffy blanket draped over their shoulders. "Yeah, thanks to your last-minute idea to board up the windows with titanium plating. Good thinking, Fry."

He grinned proudly, though the plan had been as much dumb luck as ingenuity. "Bender better get back soon. We’re running low on root beer and cheese puffs."

Leela shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. "You really think Bender's gonna make it back in time? He probably found some seedy underground casino and forgot about us completely."

As if to prove her point, the apartment’s battered intercom crackled to life. Bender’s voice came through, distorted but unmistakable.

"Hey, meatbags! I’m stuck in a bar downtown. Robot Santa showed up early, and lemme tell ya, it’s bad out here! You’re on your own. Merry Xmas!"

The intercom fizzled out, leaving a moment of silence.

"Typical," Leela muttered, but she didn’t seem surprised.

Fry shrugged. "Well, we’ve got enough snacks to last the night, and it’s not like we can leave anyway." He glanced at the tablet in his lap. "What do you say we make the best of it? Movie marathon?"

Leela tilted her head, considering. "Fine. But no cheesy action movies."

Fry gasped in mock offense. "What? But Xmas isn't Xmas without Explodogeddon IV: Santa's Revenge!"

Leela shot him a pointed look, and he relented with a sheepish grin. "Okay, okay. Your pick."

After some back-and-forth, they settled on a romantic comedy from the 20th century. Fry queued it up, and they sank deeper into the fort, surrounded by snacks and soft cushions. The flickering light from the screen painted their faces as the movie began, and for a while, the sounds of chaos outside seemed to fade into the background.

Leela leaned into Fry, feeling the warmth of his arm wrapped around her shoulders. It was... nice. Too nice, almost. She wasn’t used to this kind of comfort. Her life had always been one of struggle—being an orphan, searching for her people, trying to make sense of her place in the universe. She’d spent so much time putting up walls, both literally and figuratively, that letting someone in felt unfamiliar, even unnerving.

Fry glanced down at her, his eyes softening. "You okay, Leela?" he asked gently.

She hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, it’s just... I’ve never really had anyone to spend Xmas with before. Not like this."

"Like what?"

She gestured vaguely at the cozy fort, the snacks, the blanket draped over them. "Like... safe. Comfortable. With someone who actually cares."

Fry’s heart ached at her words. He knew Leela had been through a lot, more than she often let on. Without thinking, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"You deserve it, Leela," he said softly. "All of it. The safety, the comfort... and someone who cares. I care about you. A lot."

Her eye widened slightly, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. She wasn’t sure how to respond, but before she could overthink it, Fry tilted her chin up and kissed her, softly at first, then with more confidence. She melted into it, letting herself be vulnerable in a way she rarely allowed.

When they finally pulled apart, Leela rested her head against his chest, a small, genuine smile on her lips. "Thanks, Fry," she murmured.

"For what?"

"For being... you. For making me feel like it’s okay to let my guard down sometimes."

Fry grinned, his cheeks pink. "Anytime, Leela."

They returned their attention to the movie, though neither of them was paying much attention to it anymore. Outside, the sounds of destruction raged on, but within their little fortress of blankets and pillows, it didn’t matter.

For the first time in a long time, Leela felt like she could face the chaos of the world—and the chaos within her own heart—with someone by her side. And for Fry, having Leela close and happy was all he could have asked for this Xmas.

They stayed like that for hours, the glow of the screen flickering over their entwined figures, as the night passed and a new day—free of Robot Santa’s terror—drew closer.

(A/N: @capt-t-leela did that sounded accurate to you and Fry?)

💜🧡

[hazeystar]

911:ls 5x9 live commentary from my notes app

run away now if you don't want spoilers because this was a doozy but HOLY SHIT THE EPISODE WAS AMAZING

currently sitting in the front room in the dark hopefully my roommate pays me no attention

omg no you cannot separate the strands

CARLOS carlos... get this Campbell guy off the screen get him carlos take him down with facts god it's always the guy who's 'been with me for a long time it could never be him' just look into it, humour me, please, THANK YOU

yay TNT back together yea that sweater is definitely a winner in the 'too nice for the y' (also where can I buy it?) it wont get to the ultimatum because Carlos will have solved the murder case and he loves your brother tk don't you ever forget it

nah how is this happening, Owen needed to get away from new York, don't bring him back there ok congrats he can mean a lot to you but HIS LITERAL FAMILY IS HERE DO NOT DO THIS TO HIM

god I love rafa and his acting skills, the pain and anger seems so raw he played hooky for a bday party?? why wasn't this scheduled better? carlos knows the game, he's seen the crime shows (I'm Carlos, I totally saw that escape coming)

5 years, girl you'd be lucky if its 5 innocent men don't run, preach carlos she really should have seen that coming, all that waiting like she was gonna say something then NADA

yes best friends Judd and owen ive been to that memorial too!! omg he might actually leave I'm gonna cry

of course it's Campbell, why wouldn't it be id be having a breakdown if I was Carlos this is so much happening tk in the same room and there's not even a glance I'm crying, on the job meetings really hit hard

i saw someone talk about Judd maybe turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism and I see the signs now yes Judd as captain, it's supposed to happen, Owen and I are on the same wavelength

i swear I must watch too many crime shows because the 'he did that?' act happens so often and I'm sick of it tell him where soup man is SAVE EVERYONE SAVE THE TARLOS MARRIAGE and we're off, to mexico i'm scared

oh no there's the alcohol problem, this worse than I thought someone bring grace back I miss her and Judd misses her more

FUCK ITS MEXICO TIME IM NOT READY carlos don't forget to at home please CHIEF NO no I'm scared I know this scenery carlos please its the perfect shot please just do it oh no wait the chief carlos Jesus I got it at the same time oh no oh no [as I'm writing this after, there's a gap here because I was screaming into a blanket because my roommate is sleeping in the next room and I was actively having a breakdown] ranger Campbell as a saviour was not on my bingo card id pay good money for tk to be the responding paramedic

these commercials are way too damn long give me my show please

respectfully why are we opening with Judd and Owen CARLOS IS BLEEDING OUT yes ok lets discuss the alcohol problem now I guess poor Judd honestly i've heard that before, hits harder I just KNOW he's heard this from TK so many times ID RATHER LOSE A JOB THAN A BEST FRIEND - I LOVE THEM

CARLOS MY BABY HE LIVES the curles are curling I love you soup man is actually good, Carlos has his answer, all is well nah show me the ohoto don't be scared

the way I jumped in my chair while sobbing when he said he was going to tell TK he's ready to be a father

YOU WERE MY DAD IM CRYING WITH YOU

YOUR FATHER IS PROUD OF YOU CARLOS AND SO AM I

IM IN TEARS HOLY SHIT

also nah I did not need to see that an asteroid is coming in over a month, no thank you

fic writers please do your thing and send them to me because I need the fics of this episode there are so many ideas to run with like TK BEING THE RESPONDING PARAMEDIC THIS IS A WASTED IDEA

honestly I'm a fic writer I might just jump in-

[codecicle]

If you don't mind me asking how did you get top surgery at 15? Not that there's a problem with that! Its just really cool thay you were able to, i dont think ive heard of that before

Ah, really it was all the work of my wonderful amazing mother! In all honesty, I would never be even CLOSE to being this happy if it wasn't for her and everything she did to keep me safe and let me transition. Short answer: I got lucky with living in the transgender shield of New York because my parents are rad and moved us up there

Long answer: Quite a few things actually! For starters, I was lucky enough to live in a state that allowed it, and I had proof of being dysphoric from a young age through therapy records and mental health checks. (<- not Necessary, but definitely helped my case! the government LOVESS the mentally ill lmfao) Really when medically transitioning, you need a few things on a list.

1: A letter of recommendation from a therapist (I've been through Several, so no problem there! Just need proof from a mental health professional that you are who you say you are, and you're not going to regret the change)

2: A letter from your general practioner/medical provider, signing off on the surgery (this will actually happen Several Times. but you need one to start off the whole thing)

3: If you're a minor, proof that you're fully developed puberty-wise, through a physical exam with your doctor!

Then, you take all of those to a plastic surgeon. I had an amazing doctor that took wonderful care of me and did a perfect job with the surgery, and I'd really recommend doing a metric shit-ton of research on whatever surgeon you end up choosing! The best bet most often is whatever other trans people recommend. This surgeon will then sign off on it, and you'll book some dates. In my case, there was 2 pre-op meetings! One where they looked at my chest and decided on the best procedure to use, and one where they had my mother fill out consent forms and book the date of the final surgery. (Again, assuming it's a minor like me going through this process, it's likely they haven't been through a surgery before! So there might be one more appointment with a doctor where they check your general muscle strength and how well you'll recover from the anesthetic/surgery in general. Really easy check-up, that typically functions as a less invasive physical)

It's a long, time consuming process that's very fuckin expensive lmao, but I promise you it's worth it. It's so very very worth it. I could go into all the little details of every step of the process and all the hoops I jumped through, but it can and will vary from person to person! Again, I just got very very very goddamn lucky with a family that supports me and was willing to help me as much as they have. Im the luckiest guy on the planet I'm pretty sure. Everyday I get to wake up in the body I've always wanted to have and feel amazing about it.

[your-queer-dad]

Hey Queer dad, I only just found this blog, but I'm writing you anyway, I Don't want to be anonymous, I want my name attached to my story I fear that I'm probably going to explain myself poorly but here goes anyway I am going to be 24 years old this May, I've been on E since 10 - 2020 Ive had to move out to live with my boyfriend of 3 years and it feels like I've all but abandoned my dreams of going through college as an engineer, things were hard to keep up with when covid struck and now I'm a trans-woman living in Georgia USA, I understand that its not as good as my home-state of New York on trans issues, but I have my BF and his Family who are supportive... I'm SCARED as of late sure I live in a fairly chill part of the state, but i'm SCARED like big time, its making my mental health journey harder, and I'm finding a lot of VERY bad thoughts creeping in, mostly about my appearance and all that, I don't look all that fem when i have trouble taking care of my day-to-day hygiene,

My dad is ""Supportive"" as far as accepting the fact that I'm his daughter now, but he and most of my extended family still doesn't use my pronouns or chosen name. My mom, well she left this world, and me alone in it, sure she was never the best to me, but she would have been the one person to support me. When she left I promised myself and her that I would take the little support I spit on and ground into the dirt as a teenager and actually be true to myself.

I know that at this point I am rambling, but I want to put meaning and journey behind my words THANK YOU, for being here for us. THANK YOU for providing a space for us to ask questions, and get parental style advice when we have no-one else and I ask of you this, how does one find community in this world when one struggles to navigate the fear she feels from the world around her?

Hi!! Thank you so much for reaching out. Honestly, it sounds like you've had such a rough time and I am really proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story, I appreciate it, and I'll do my best to help out.

Personal story time: I myself was (and still am sometimes) in a very similar situation myself. And it is scary, it's really isolating to see so much hate from others just for being yourself, and it makes you want to withdraw and hide. And I hid, for so long- it's really hard to show your true self in a world so full of hate and fear.

But I did, slowly, step by step. A little bit every day. Us humans, we're not supposed to be on our own. We're pack animals, like wolves or lions, we thrive off other people's company (some more than others). With mental health, when all you want to do is hide and let the world forget that you exist, what helps you the most is finding others who feel like it and can help.

Easier said than done right?

I'm still working on it, and there's never going to be a stage where you're perfect at it- but every day, just actively trying to engage with others around you, I found helped me. Not running away when people offer help, speaking to new people, finding my local queer community- just actively being aware of my surroundings and gently pushing myself to talk to new people.

The worlds a lot less scary when you have an army of support behind you.

It takes time, and energy. It's hard. And definitely baby steps, small steps. But there are so many good people out there, who will love you and accept you and value you, you just have to find them.

I'm really proud of you, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to and feel free to reach out anytime. Everything will be okay.

- dad x