#It's possible this name has been known in the lore for years

[maintitle]

I love how Veilguard adds just enough information to Thom's backstory that it adds to the hilarity of his situation. Here is a man that was so filled with regret that he watched a good man die, and took on his full identity in order to try and live up to his ideal and by extension escape the bloodied hands of his past. He became Blackwall in name to be an ideal, and he wore that with a false pride that gave him a reason to live... but as proud as he was of the name Blackwall, he simply couldn't take it one extra step and refer to himself as the Warden's first name. For all of Thom's respect for Blackwall, he simply COULD NOT go by the name of Gordon. That was his line. And who can blame him?

[sakurapika]

A (possibly) helpful guide to the Nikki-verse for Infinity Nikki Players

❄️Updated December 28th

Although it’s not at all necessary to know the lore of the previous games (Love Nikki, Shining Nikki), here is some info that you might benefit from if you’re joining the fandom with Infinity Nikki!

❄️General Info:

Love Nikki, Shining Nikki, and Infinity Nikki are all stand-alone games with self-contained stories, but they have some commonalities that I will get into later.

Love Nikki (LN) has a 2D art style, and is where many of us "veteran" players began our journey. Shining Nikki (SN) has both 2D and 3D art. Both of these games are stunning, so check them out!

Before Love Nikki, there were two other dress-up games in this series that did not involve being transported into a magical world. They were called NikkiUp2U (released 2012) and Hello Nikki (released around 2016). These games are more obscure, with the latter currently only being available in China, so not much is known about them to international fans.

The developers of the game are Chinese, so expect to get a lot of goodies around Lunar New Year and other major Chinese holidays!

According to Hello Nikki, our main character is around 19 years old. In Shining Nikki, she talks about how she used to go to college before getting transported to Miraland. Her birthday is December 6, which is why Infinity Nikki came out last week and why we got a free outfit (we’ll get a new one every year!)

Nikki's Chinese name is Nuan Nuan, how cute!

Momo claims he’s not a cat, but a member of the “Momo Clan” (LN). He was a little annoying in Love Nikki, but he’s more endearing in later games.

Nikki and Momo are the only recurring characters in the franchise.

The biggest advice I can give as a veteran is: Don't bother with trying to make a visually cohesive outfit for styling battles unless you have a lot of clothing. We've all tried it. It won't work. For now, just layer on everything that has high stats. You're always free to wear your fashionable outfits during regular gameplay, and "glow up" your favorite clothes when you have enough resources, so that you can make better outfits for later battles.

I've seen a lot of people in other places asking about whether the Nikki games will have more androgynous or masculine clothing, and they probably will! It took a while for these clothes to appear in LN and SN, but there are definitely several options out there, from ouji fashion to streetwear to military-style outfits. Read about the seven nations below to find out more.

A lot of people also seem curious about representation for people of color. Unfortunately, the options can be quite limited, as it took a while for textured hair options to appear for players in Love Nikki, and I'm not quite sure about the situation in Shining Nikki. Different cultures are represented in Miraland (as explained below) but they still have their limitations. With Infinity Nikki being more oriented towards an international fanbase than previous games, though, perhaps the developers will be encouraged to branch out more.

❄️Worldbuilding

The world that Nikki has been transported into is called Miraland.

Miraland is composed of seven nations, each with their own distinct fashion style. That means that if you do not like the style of clothes we’ve been seeing so far in Infinity Nikki, do not worry! They’ll have everything eventually.

For some reason, they changed the names of the countries in Infinity Nikki, and I’m not sure why (I’m going to keep mixing them up…). Below, I’ve listed their LN/SN names first, and their Infinity Nikki names second.

The seven nations are:

🎀Lilith/Ninir/Heartcraft Kingdom: In the older games, it was known mostly for fairytale-inspired clothing and lolita fashion, with the occasional “pastoral” suit. It looks like Heartcraft Kingdom in Infinity Nikki has been leaning more into the pastoral aesthetic, but Nonoy’s outfit seems to be in the lolita style. Also, the suits we have been crafting so far for catching bugs and petting the animals is at least lolita-inspired. (People who wear lolita fashion, please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the Chinese version of this fashion is a lot more loose with the rules than the Japanese version I am more familiar with). This kingdom is always the first to be introduced in these games. Expect drama to follow whenever we get introduced to the royal family of this kingdom…it always happens. Nikki's first friend is always from this kingdom--we started with Bobo in Love Nikki, then Joy in Shining Nikki, and now Nonoy in Infinity Nikki.

🐉Cloud Empire/Lanling Empire: Known for traditional and modern Asian fashion. A vast majority of the fashions are going to be inspired by Chinese fashion, so if you’re a fan of period dramas or xianxia, you’re in luck! Aside from hanfu and qipao, they also usually have some representation of other East Asian cultures, featuring several kimono and the occasional hanbok. (Due to some controversies in Shining Nikki relating to conflicts between China and Korea, however, I’m not sure if the developers will continue to add hanbok in future games). Love Nikki also included some outfits for Chinese ethnic minorities like the Miao, and Vietnamese ao dai if I remember correctly. All games also have at least one Peking Opera costume—it’s like an industry staple. Overall, Cloud Empire is usually the second kingdom to be introduced in the game, so I’m sure we’ll see it pretty soon. Maybe we’ll go along with Tan Youyou, depending on how the story will go.

👠Apple Federation/Starhail Federation: Known for streetwear, high fashion, and casual clothing (like what you’d wear on an average day). I think Dada and Bebe’s outfits would be classified as Apple, even though they live in Heartcraft. Unlike the rural towns we have seen so far, Apple tends to be a very urban, city-based environment, filled with spies and shady businessmen. Nikki's girlfriend, Kimi (from Love Nikki), is also from here.

👑Pigeon Kingdom/Twinmoon Kingdom: Known for European fashions, including fairy costumes, witch/sorcerer outfits, Rococo dresses (with long skirts, compared to the lolita style in Lilith/Ninir/Heartcraft), and anything else you’d expect to see in a Western fantasy or period drama. Funnily enough, there is always at least one scene in the Pigeon Kingdom that has to do with a cathedral, so expect some fashions with gothic and Catholic-inspired imagery as well. Some of the inhabitants who live there are elves and fairies, like Timis. Although most of the ability outfits we have so far look like they're from Lilith/Ninir/Heartcraft, the "purification" outfit strikes me as something more typical of Pigeon.

⚔️North Kingdom/Empire of Light: A cold country best known for winter clothing—heavy scarves, overcoats, and hats—as well as military attire. There is also at least one "ice queen" style suit in every game. If I recall correctly, this kingdom has been having civil wars since Love Nikki, so expect a lot of action in this area. I suspect that Bettina is from here, but I'm not sure yet.

🐪Wasteland/Terra Alliance: The original name of this country sparked a lot of controversy, so I'm glad that they have changed it. This kingdom usually has desert-themed clothing, ancient Greek/Egyptian clothing, clothing inspired by nature, bohemian clothing, South, and Southeast Asian clothing (the cultural representation isn’t always the best, unfortunately…but I am optimistic that Shining Nikki and Infinity Nikki are more culturally sensitive than Love Nikki).

🤖Ruin Island/Whaleport: A mysterious island that features “futuristic” or sci-fi inspired clothing. In previous games, we have seen medical doctors with dubious legitimacy, scientists who experiment on themselves (?) and androids, so I’m curious to see who we’ll meet this time. Many players from the previous games who liked this style have felt that the developers often neglect this kingdom, unfortunately.

❄️Story and gameplay advice

Without spoiling the older games, I can say that, generally...

Most of the story is based on conflicts between different characters and sometimes different kingdoms. These problems, as mentioned before, are solved through styling battles.

Infinity Nikki seems to be going for a cozier vibe. However, both of its predecessors have sometimes gone into dark territories, featuring themes of war, violence, and betrayal. (I may or may not have cried over the death of a certain someone in Love Nikki...)

Therefore, dramatic things could very well happen in Infinity Nikki. I'm not saying that it can't be your comfort game if that is what you are hoping for, as the other games can still also be light, funny, and cozy. I just want to warn more sensitive players who might not be expecting it from a dress-up game.

When I first wrote this guide, I initially thought that the miracle outfits were like the "lifetime suits" of previous games, where crafting them was optional and not necessary to progress through the story. However, this seems not to be the case. Nevertheless, take your time while crafting them--there's no need to rush.

I'm not sure how f2p-friendly Infinity Nikki will be, but I haven't spent anything on either of the other games and I've been able to buy many of the suits I wanted. Just make sure that you budget accordingly and remember that if you want one suit but can't afford it at the time, another suit with a similar aesthetic might come out in the future. Also banners can re-run!

Keep an eye out for redeem codes! These are often posted by the game's social media, and you can get a lot of free stuff.

The fan-favorite kingdoms are usually Lilith/Ninir (Heartcraft) and Cloud (Lanling), followed by Pigeon (Twinmoon) and Apple (Starhail). The other three tend to get neglected, so if you like the sound of those the most, I'm sorry... :(

The last two sections include speculation, trivia, and an explanation of some inside jokes from the other games. Feel free to skip them if needed!

❄️Continuity and Fandom References to Other Nikki Games

Like I said earlier, the Nikki games can all work as standalone games, and the only returning characters are Nikki and Momo.

However, I've added this section to discuss possible theories and connections, as well as catch others up to speed on some of the inside jokes and characters that we Nikki veterans like to talk about.

If you keep hearing names like "Bobo," "Lunar," "Kimi," and "Nidhogg," these are characters from Love Nikki.

Bobo and Lunar are some of the first characters we met in LN. Kimi is the closest character we have to a canon love interest for Nikki. All of them are fan-favorites, so we're hoping to see any references to them in Infinity Nikki as well.

I can't say much about the very controversial and very popular Nidhogg without spoiling LN, but at least you now know where the name is from.

In Love Nikki, there is a "blood curse" that prevents people from using violence. Therefore, people often resolve conflicts by entering styling battles and destroying each other with the power of a good outfit.

Never ask a Love Nikki player what happened in Chapter 15.

Shining Nikki takes place roughly 700 years before Love Nikki, where there is no blood curse (which means certain people have managed to commit certain crimes...). Several SN characters are the ancestors of, or otherwise related to, LN characters.

Nikki veterans often like to make references to Ashley, Lilith (the person), Joy, and Qin Yi. These are all Shining Nikki characters.

So far, we haven't seen such a connection between old games and Infinity Nikki, so a lot of people suspect that this might be an alternate universe. When more about this version of Miraland is known, I might make another post.

❄️My predictions for future updates

Every time we enter a new country in Miraland, we will have new ability outfits to craft to fit the style of the new setting. This is because most of the outfits we have so far look like Lilith/Ninir suits in previous games, with very few influences from other nations.

The next country to be introduced will most likely be Lanling. I originally thought that they'd let us visit Lanling in time for Lunar New Year, but with the scope of the story, I think it may take some more time before that.

The next big update will be around Lunar New Year, where they'll probably hold some five-star banners, give free diamonds as a login event, and make a new short story, if they celebrate the same way as in Shining Nikki. They're probably also going to give us another free suit. (I hope it's Legend of the White Snake themed, since next year is Year of the Snake!)

Then, we'll probably see the equivalent of the Apple Federation, followed by Pigeon Kingdom.

We will get a new version of this stunning dress. It's called the Star Sea and has shown up in every game so far. I'm actually surprised we haven't heard about it in Infinity Nikki yet.

Please let me know if this guide has been useful, and if there's other parts of the games you'd like me to cover!

[gothwineaunts]

Wow, hello!

So, I was actually feeling pretty motivated to write this post yesterday. But things have gotten exponentially worse, and I admit the pressure is getting to me. There seem to be a ton of expectations surrounding what I should be saying here, in order to… I guess, absolve myself? As if there’s a checklist people want me to go through to perform the “perfect” creator apology. But, I don’t see the point. I care a lot about this community and I think you deserve something a lot more sincere than some hollow chat-gpt apology. I understand that that’s foolish, on my part. Things are done that way so often because they work. But what you’ll find throughout this post, is that I’m kind of an idiot about some things. I’m stubborn and hard-headed and a little bit pretentious. And so, what I’m planning to do here is to simply tell you the truth about what happened. No cherry picking. All my mistakes, but also the context that goes with them. And at the end, my formal apology. This is a long and winding tale with a lot of characters. I’m going to be sharing some usernames as we go, in the interest of clarity and transparency. You’ll understand why with the context. But please do not seek these people out. Don’t pick fights with them. It will only make everything worse, for all involved.

Cool? Cool. But first I need to address the elephant in the room. This will probably seem like irrelevant drama at first, but this is the nuance and background that I wasn’t adequately able to articulate the night before last. In more ways than one, this is a story told in twos. The first set of twos is you, the readers. Who you are, and what you’re hoping to find out in this post.

1.      The overwhelming majority of you, are earnestly wanting to understand what has happened in the Nevermore Discord. You are concerned that I am not who you hoped I was. You are disappointed, and I understand why. To you, I am so sorry. I want to say that things are not as bad as they seem, but that is not for me to decide. You will need to draw your own conclusions from the words I write. And I understand, whatever you choose to do next.

2.      And there is a small, but incredibly vocal minority of people who are absolutely living for this. They are spreading complete fabrications with no screenshots to speak of. Horrible, horrible accusations. People who are more excited about watching a dumpsterfire than they are about the series that brought them here in the first place. I’m not going to attempt to cater to those people in this post. Because nothing will ever be good enough. Everything that can be taken in bad faith will be taken in bad faith. It would be pointless. But you’ll see them in the comments and reblogs. This is a known group to not only myself, but many others. I will share some of their names in a later section so you know who to watch for. They will make a lot of noise around this post because they’ve been trying to make something like this happen for actual years. And now that I had a genuinely concerning response that good people reasonably want me to explain, they’re lunging at the chance to throw absolutely anything at the wall. It’s parasocial levels of hatred. This is some deep and horrible lore.

The next set of twos is how two things can be true at the same time. And that is exactly what is going on here, in this situation. Let me be really clear, because I don’t want either truth to be lost in my explanation as they are intrinsically linked to one another.

1.      I did a downright terrible job explaining myself in the Discord when people started asking about crimson. I can give you all kinds of contributing factors for this, and I might later. But none of them really matter. It was incredibly careless of me to use “egging them on” and “cried wolf”  to describe what I understood. At the time I was really laser-focused on expressing what happened as simply and quickly as possible because the channel replies were paused and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to be finished with my message. But after stepping back, I immediately understood how badly I messed up, because of course these idioms are routinely weaponized against survivors of SA and CSA. That is not how I intended to use them. It was an unfortunate case of one thing looking and sounding like another thing. Incredibly ham-fisted and irresponsible on my part. To the survivors who read my words and felt that it echoed their past experiences, I’m heartbroken that I did that to you. That lapse of judgement was a betrayal to both you and me. I don’t know where my head went, and I’m just blown away by my own lack of awareness in that message. So for that I am and will continue to be sorry.

2.      The second thing that can be true is that, while you are all absolutely owed an explanation and an apology, there are also some people amongst you who are using this fuck-up on my part as a springboard to take me down.  These people have been trying to get a call out post to pop off about me for at least a year, and they have been very quick to jump into the reblogs and comments about this very serious topic with complete lies and slander. Just, anything that might stick to the wall. We’ll address this later on as well. But please understand that me discussing the harassment I’ve faced from these groups is not at the expense of me also owning up to my faults and taking the proper accountability.

And the last set of twos is one I’ve alluded to in the first sets, concerning a pair of toxic side-servers that ran adjacent to the main Nevermore Discord. Completely unofficial cliques. And invisible to myself and Flynn and our mod team. We were eventually made aware that both of them were breaking laws and Discord ToS in ways that leaked into our server and affected our members negatively. As such, both groups were mass-banned. And the cliques are the ones running a majority of the discourse you’ve been seeing here, because while they are formally banned from the discord, we have absolutely no say in their participation on Tumblr. Now, keep in mind. Both of these groups were uncovered after crimson was banned the first time. That’s important later.

Clique #1

My understanding of the first group is that it started as a gaming server for people who met one another through the Nevermore Discord. I don’t know when or why it started being used to talk shit about other readers, but I do know that it got really vicious. And it was sort of an open secret for long before I knew anything about it. I found out after that there were a lot of people passively in this server, just observing. It was that much of a spectacle.

Now, this clique had been pretty rude. Like they’d try to start fights with me in the discord fairly often, both in the Patreon and free spaces. But it wasn’t grounds for dismissal until we found out about the baiting and the alts.  These people had a lot of grievances, but one really united them: they were extremely upset about anyone who would ship Prospero.

Many of you know, that Prospero is an aromantic character, canonically. And you may notice that canonically, he has no apparent love interest. But this group wanted to make sure other readers were not thinking about Prospero in relationships, or creating ship content of him for any reason on the grounds that it would be considered a “proship.” I told them (and I stand on this) that it’s not up to them to police the thoughts of other readers, and that aromantic people have widely varying lifestyles and experiences and do not need to be infantilized that way.

This turned out to be a bad move on my part, because it brought with it an onslaught of alt accounts coming in and "innocently" kicking up what I now refer to as the “prosp-aro” debate every time they had the chance. But because of this and what a common occurrence it was, we started being able to pick out the alts. And we realized that this group of people had been using the same alt accounts with different names to antagonize certain readers they’d decided they hated, and it had gone on for a long time.

I did a lot of investigative work in dms trying to figure out who all was responsible for the harassment, and settled on a list that was vetted by three different people who knew about the clique. And all three of these people insisted that, while Laci was in the group and in a lot of the screencaps saying pretty dubious things, that she was good people. So I believe them, and let Laci stay. This group was banned on April 3, 2024, and contained the following users:

-          lilnatx (nat)

-          suitino (sushi)

-          jj_the_jet_plane (layden)

-          rivsticks (jasper)

-          atheimee (athena)

-          jinxs.com (lanx/jinx)

-          smartestginger (nico)

-          thereallandofbugs (bugs)

-          rosienemui (rosie)

These were the names they were known by on the Discord. I don’t have the Tumblr accounts tied to these identities. But some might be the same. I know a lot of them are here.  It should be noted that jinx was later unbanned due to pressure from Laci that they had been banned in error, after the fact. We allowed them back in after a few days as a favor to Laci since the situation seemed like it was very stressful for her. This would prove to be yet another a mistake since, as you have probably seen in the screenshots from the night before last, jinx rapidly escalated things to another level while I was trying to figure out how to handle crimson’s unbanning and subsequent rebanning an hour later.

Clique #2

Phew. Still with me? Great. The second group we needed to ban was one that actually started long before the first one, but was a lot smaller and comparatively more subtle. This group, to my knowledge, cropped up around the time that ep. 39 of Nevermore was released. (11/10/22) We knew about this group but not who all was involved in it or in what capacity for a very long time. They would consistently post things on Tumblr trying to start a scandal. I recall posts alleging that we were racists, or SA apologists, or that we were sending death threats to a random confessions account.

To be clear, these allegations are completely false. This clique will say anything. Like a recent post one of them put up during this discourse said that hiwi (our mod) is both a r*pe apologist and a childhood friend of mine and that’s the only reason she hasn’t been banned. Hiwi is absolutely nothing of the sort, and I have never met her in person. In fact, she lives on the other side of the continent.

Now, this clique is a little different than the first. The first, to my knowledge, was a group of friends that got toxic and felt morally superior about their opinions and it all kind of got away from them. The vibe was a little catty, I guess. Gossipy. But this clique has more of a stalker vibe. It’s dark.

They’ve had it out specifically for me for as long as I can remember. And some of them (at least one, at all times) would subscribe to our patreon, both to sow dissent in our stream chats and also to leak literally all the content back to the others, including me talking about random shit like what I ate for lunch. Just so they could like. Laugh about it, I guess. I’ll never understand why. [Editing note: because in the final moments of proofreading this post I see one of these people has made some master post about what a terrible person I am? A lot of those screenshots are from Patreon channels and the guy STILL has them laying around. I’m telling you, they stole everything that wasn’t nailed down.] 

The biggest grievance this clique had is that any ship with Montresor is an “SA fetish ship” because to them he is a r*pist because of how he made Ada bark (?) and since Montrada is canon, that means we are supporters of SA, and that Morella and Ada should be together instead. Listen, I’ll level with you, this one baffles me. I don’t even know how to begin to untangle it. But if you see a lot of vitriol about us being SA apologists from these users, it’s because Montresor exists. That’s pretty much it.

You can ask them for screencaps ‘til you’re blue in the face, but unless they build fake ones from the ground up, they’re never going to be able to back up their wild claims. Simply put, they’re provocateurs, and they use the scariest words they can to whip people up into a panic.

We became aware that they were leaking patreon content when one of them was caught publicly referring to things that were being said behind a paywall when we knew they weren’t a patron. It unraveled from there.  People who knew about their antics shared screenshots and information with us, and we finally realized the scope of the clique’s hatred and banned whoever was even left in the Nevermore Discord. But they continue to be active in the community on tumblr. You’ll have seen them around. They were banned on 5/11/2024 and the names involved are as follows (again, a mishmash of discord names, nicknames, and tumblr accounts):

- percy (gremlinguy145 on tumblr)

- queenmorningrose (annabel-lee-nevermore on tumblr)

- spoopycactus630 (spoopy-nevermore-dump on tumblr)

- grif/horrorshow (conscience-grim on tumblr)

- unreqiknizd

- duke aralt (westofthestyx)

- eden (sapphic-mad-scientist on tumblr)

- priemium

Again I’d like to reiterate. The point in sharing these names is not to incite any sort of response against these people. But they are folding themselves into the fray and doing what they can to whip everyone else up into a mob, and all as we’re talking about a discord server that they have been banned from for months now. The above context is also relevant for the next section, which is why you’re all here in the first place.

What the hell happened with Crimson?

I hope it’s not confusing, but now we’re going back to 3/14/2024, before anything I just outlined above had come to light. The cliques were quietly doing their harassment and baiting and raiding and whatever-the-hell behind the scenes, but Flynn and I and the mods were blissfully unaware of how bad it was getting. We get a dm from Laci. The same Laci who was part of Clique #1 and was rescued from being banned with the others by her friends outside the group. Jinx’s friend, who managed to get them unbanned as well. You have probably seen these screencaps already, but I will show them to you again, just in case.

Sufficed to say, we were immediately alarmed by the information Laci shared in her DM with us. Now, I want to be very clear about this because it’s been lost in the game of telephone. What Laci outlines in her dm to me, were the events that occurred between six users (including crimson) in a group chat with minors. Everyone in the evidence was censored (pfp and username), as was the image that crimson showed them. When I asked, Laci agreed to give me one name of one of the minors in the dm. I’ll call them Alice, but that is not their real name. I asked if I could talk to Alice about this, I was told by Laci, no. Alice doesn’t want to talk. I was like, ok I understand, that’s fine. 

I hope it makes sense when I say that it is not feasible for us to moderate the things that happen in peoples’ dms. As you’ve seen above, the mod team doesn’t usually get involved with drama unless whatever is happening is directly affecting the experience people are having in the Nevermore Discord because that is all we can see and the only place we have any real authority.  But this was obviously a special case. We banned crimson very quickly without asking any follow-up questions, because of course we did!? I’ve seen people say I’m harboring or defending crimson or that we’re buddies but we barely spoke, ever. They were a stranger to me then, and they still are now.

But something about the entire situation wasn’t adding up to me. And I want to be clear that none of this is in any way meant to discredit csa survivors, I’m really just trying to put you in my headspace and walk you through my thought process. But I found that the evidence was just, sort of strange. Laci started her dm explaining that she found this information out because she and a group of people were investigating crimson for ‘art tracing’ which felt, to me, like a bizarre non-sequitur and totally irrelevant next to the evidence of them showing nsfw content to minors. Petty, kind of. Like I wanted to ask – why were you doing that in the first place? People trace Flynn’s art all the time. As long as they’re not selling it, it’s not a big deal.

Most of the crops are from a PC but the windows are oddly small, and only contain a couple messages at a time. Some have American formatted time and some have European formatted time. So different users, I assume? The names were blotted out, which I would understand for a public call-out but not for a private report to the mod team. Laci was not in this gc at any point in time, despite being the one to report. 

One of the users was apparently 12, to which I ask – what is a 12-year-old doing on discord at all? If we knew who they were, we would have reported the account. Discord is not a safe place for a child that age, let alone a small group chat. Along with 18-year-old Crimson, there was also a 22- and 17-year-old in the chat, which left us wondering – why hadn’t anything been done?

I had no evidence that anyone ever told crimson they were minors, and I feel if it existed, it would have been in the screencap dump (I find that sometimes a noticeable lack of key evidence is evidence in itself). No one seems to have tried to kick crimson from the group chat or report their account for inappropriate behavior. Then there’s the fact that this is a group chat. Anyone in it can leave at any time. 

Then I came across the messages that started this whole gc, and it only got stranger when I realized Alice started it, called it “Women Lovers” and created it “so we can talk about Nevermore women without having to filter ourselves” after they all reacted to a sultry but sfw drawing of Lenore that crimson had made and posted in our hideout channel. And all that made me wonder why Alice didn’t just kick crimson, if she had admin power?  Do you see what I mean? It’s just all a bit head tilty. I noticed it at the time. But I said nothing. Because it didn’t matter. Crimson, no matter what happened, exposed minors to nsfw content. And that’s on them. And I’ve never in my life defended it. We banned them.

Crimson was beside herself. She came off humiliated and apologetic, and insisted she had no idea and begged to come back to a community she said she loved. But we told her no, there’s no coming back from doing what she did.

Time passes and we uncover Clique #1. And while we figured out who the main players were, I dmed with Laci. And it was Laci herself, who tells me that it was Alice who made most of Clique #1’s alt accounts, and that it was Alice who used those alt accounts to harass people and try to get them to start fights or say something that might get them in trouble. 

And I’ll be honest with you, the mod team still didn’t think much of it, outside of – we need to figure out which accounts were the alts. So we did. We had several confirmed to us.  And those accounts were zeroing in on certain users that the clique didn’t like. At the time we noticed two notable targets in addition to the mod team. I won’t name them, it’s their business if they want to weigh in about all that. But in screencaps, they’ll be labeled Target #1 and Target #2.

More time passes and Clique #2 comes to light. As you can imagine, by now we’re feeling disillusioned, and very tired of trying to moderate shit we cannot see for ourselves. And that’s when crimson comes back to very hesitantly ask if they might be able to appeal their ban. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to us that Laci (on behalf of Alice) was the only one who ever reported anything to us about Crimson. 

And I want to just say that again. Because it’s gotten lost too. Laci was the only person who ever reported Crimson. There was not one single other person who ever sent a modmail or a dm or even a ping to anybody on the mod team. I have since (only yesterday) seen some screencaps that are rather skin crawly, but even those happened in yet another side server. Thinking on this, the mods went back through the known alt accounts Alice had used. And they found that Alice harassed crimson both on her main account and on the same alt accounts that she used to harass the other targets.

By now, Alice is banned for completely unrelated reasons. Not because of what happened with Crimson. I’ve seen that one flying around and I’m sorry it’s just not true. It’s because she was relentlessly harassing and cyberbullying people in the discord we moderate. Laci is still there, but had lost my trust, for being involved with both the drama I’ve mentioned here and more that I don’t care to dip into. It’s ultimately irrelevant. But what am I going to say to Laci? “Hey, did you and Alice, by any chance, coordinate some kind of bizarre trap together to get crimson banned from the discord because you suspected them of tracing their art?” And once again. Because I want to keep this top of mind. Even if that were the case, it doesn’t make what Crimson did alright, and it never will. Sharing nsfw content in front of minors is a disgusting thing to do. And one that we frankly are really irritating about in the moderation of the discord. I’ve heard people say that we over-moderate when it comes to art. 

But all this stuff about a “known pedophile?” If it was known, then we were on the outs. And to even this minute right now, I don’t have any conclusive evidence that Crimson is a pedophile. The evidence I have is that Crimson shared nsfw with a group of people whose ages they did not know. Which is fucking gross. It’s an adult’s responsibility to make sure they’re speaking with other adults before posting things of that nature. 

But at the time, the way I read the situation is that Crimson had only just stopped being a minor and was egregiously negligent in how they were speaking and what they were posting, likely in part due to them not being aware enough of their adult responsibilities.  And hey. I know some of you are chomping at the bit. You can call me naïve for this! This is what I’m referring to when I say that I can be a real idiot. But I feel everyone has been very quick to call Crimson a pedophile. I know this is pedantic to say, but the prerequisite for being a pedophile is “being attracted to minors.” Based on the information I had at my fingertips, I did not think Crimson sought out these minors. Crimson was invited to the gc, they did not ask to join. 

I have seen discussions about all the things crimson did to their victims since we unbanned them but I have not seen screencaps to support that whole ‘marriage proposal’ thing, and again I think it sounds a bit odd coming as a pedophilia accusation from someone only one year younger than crimson.  

But you know what? I don’t know crimson. Maybe we were wrong. But even if we weren’t, I realize in hindsight that it was a stupid decision for the mod team to give them a second chance. We didn’t have anyone to consult about what happened because all the other people in the chat had been obscured from me and I didn’t feel like Laci would give me a straight answer. 

The mods and I felt at the time that crimson, like the other targets of Clique #1, had been singled out and that they deserved another very closely monitored chance in the discord, which they said they still missed dearly. I’m a bleeding heart, alright? A total sap. I know that. But being honest with you, I felt bad. It feels horrible to be singled out and targeted. And I was probably too close to that feeling at the time, seeing as we were on the tail end of finding out the Clique #2 had pursued me so relentlessly for so long. 

So for my part, I’m sorry. I made a rash decision that was influenced by some very personal circumstances. And we should have left it alone. Based on the evidence I've seen, I don’t know if I personally would call crimson a pedophile and certainly I wouldn't call them a known pedophile, but I am regretful that we risked it either way.

When I was trying to explain all of this in the west common room channel two nights back, things had boiled over and were already getting out of hand very quickly. A lot of brand new accounts were joining the discord with one word intros just to start conflicts in the public server with crimson. Alts. Either from banned users or burner accounts. And I got panicky. One of the mods paused the messages in west common room but no one besides me was available to handle the situation at that moment. Reacts about being silenced were pouring in and I felt pressured to quickly take over and try to explain. 

In my rush, I stupidly didn’t backread more than a quick skim. And I ate shit, y’all. You saw. One thing I want to state outright. I’m talking a lot about my thoughts and my feelings and it’s because I don’t wanna speak for Flynn or for the mods. But I didn’t make this decision alone. In fact, I was dragging my feet and being really lazy about okaying the whole thing. Just because I was busy, not because I was fretting over it or anything. But I had to be pinged and then literally tapped on the shoulder by Flynn, asking me to respond to mod chat when this was being discussed earlier that day. That doesn’t change the fact that I was part of the decision. I agreed to unban crimson. Foolishly. I understand that, now. 

I hope that now it makes some more sense though, how it came to happen. I never meant to hurt anyone. My own past and present feelings got in the way, and I own that. But in the moment, my personal intention was to give crimson a second chance because I felt that they’d been targeted by Clique #1. Not to ignore anyone’s concerns or make them feel unsafe, even if those were the ultimate outcome.  

So, completely underprepared and defensive, I jumped into west common room and I just. Blew it. Totally fucking blew it. I knew it instantly but it’s hard to stay logical when people are telling you you’re vile and evil and they’re sick that they ever thought you were a good person and that they’ll never see you the same way again. My mind went blank and I don’t really remember much of what happened next. But I said what I said, and I should have done better. 

I wish there was a word bigger than sorry. I’m beside myself. I know there was probably a way to make everyone happy. To make everything okay. But I wasn't clever enough to figure it out in the moment, and it eats at me. So it’s like I’m sorry for my poor judgment and my terrible choice of words, but there’s another layer where I’m also sorry for not matching how wonderful this community is with how wonderful (or well, unwonderful) I was two nights ago. I promise I am going to work harder to be better for you all.

Again, to every victim of SA and CSA, my heart is with you, more personally than you might realize. I don’t think I could have handled my explanation in a worse way. And I’m so so sorry.

Moving forward, I am also going to take an enormous step back from moderating and participating in the discord in general. I feel like a lot of this happened because I was still treating it like it belonged to a smaller fandom, like Shiloh’s. But realistically, I don’t have time to both moderate and make the series itself, and I really dragged my feet on being honest with myself about that. And for that too, I apologize. We’re going to get more mods, they’re going to have full control of the moderation, and Flynn and I are going to do what we love more than anything in the world and just make Nevermore.

I understand if you won’t be there for it. This is not a flattering picture I’ve painted for you. And you’d be well within your rights, to decide not to give us another chance. But it's been a pleasure to lurk here in this wildly talented corner of tumblr. And I’ll never forget it. <3 Yours truly, -Kit Trace

[glossdebut]

PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ 02

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SERIES SUMMARY: You were about ready to give up, your career nowhere near what you dreamed it’d be when you started at eighteen, bright-eyed and naive. Reality for you these past few years has consisted of pouting at a camera, ignoring whispers of your name at company events, and ensuring that the stupid, tiny designer purses they keep forcing on you can at least carry a flask. But now, you’re helping a friend in need. For the first time in a long time, it feels like you’re doing something worthwhile with your life. Too bad Min Yoongi, the newest thorn in your side, seems insistent on stopping you.

✧ SERIES TAGS: enemies to lovers, slow burn, angst, smut, fake/pretend relationship (not main couple), rockstar!yoongi, model!reader, guitarist yoongi, singer jungkook, bassist taehyung, drummer jimin, manager namjoon, yoongi & maknae line are in a rock band, reader & seokjin are best friends, yoongi & hoseok are best friends (sope duo ftw), yoongi has a tongue piercing, reader is a brat

✧ CHAPTER WARNINGS: aqua uses her journalism degree to write a fake article, lots of yoongi pov, MC lore drop, extremely brief descriptions of sexual acts, some questions are answered but not many, sope cameo! also seokjin cameo! do you detect a hint of hyyh yoonkook-ism? because you should! EVENTS TRANSPIRE! (see series masterlist for series warnings)

✧ CHAPTER WORDCOUNT: 5.2k words

✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE: damn i always drop early don't i? here's a pre-holiday gift for those of you who celebrate thanksgiving. thank you to tanni @yooniivrse for beta reading SO FUCKING FAST LOL <3

p.s. from here on out updates are going to be much slower. we’re getting to the Real Plot now and i have to use my brain a little bit more. plus i want to make time to write other, shorter things! so be sure to check out my other fics if waiting for this becomes unbearable lol

CH. 02: A HIT IS HARD TO RESIST

Love in the Spotlight: Is "Burn The Stage" Singer Falling for a Scandal Magnet?

It’s the love story that’s rocking Seoul—and leaving fans divided. Jeon Jeongguk, the smooth-talking, chart-topping frontman of “Burn The Stage,” has been the subject of intense speculation after rumors surfaced that he’s been secretly seeing one of South Korea’s most talked about models, YLN YN. And while Jeongguk’s millions of fans would do anything to claim him as their own, it’s YN’s wild reputation that’s making this relationship one to watch.

The dating rumors of the two surfaced online when YN was seen on the balcony at Wasteland during the final show of the Burn The Stage’s world tour. Eyewitnesses claim that after the show, the two were spotted backstage together, sharing a private moment.

While Jeongguk’s image has been polished and pristine despite his rock star persona, YN’s name is frequently linked with controversy. From a string of public feuds with fellow influencers to rumors of reckless behavior, she has garnered a reputation for attracting scandal wherever she goes—a trait at odds with what fans have seen from Jeongguk. So what could possibly draw the two together?

Some fans are already sounding the alarm, warning Jeongguk that dating someone like YN could tarnish his squeaky-clean image.

“I don’t know why Jeongguk would choose her,” one concerned fan commented on Instagram. “She’s trouble, and he’s too good for her. His image will be ruined if this is true.”

Despite the criticism, others are rallying behind the couple, suggesting that Jeongguk may be the one to help YN change her ways. “Everyone has a past,” one fan posted on X (formerly known as Twitter). “Maybe Jeongguk sees something in her that no one else does. People can grow and evolve.”

While neither Jeongguk or YN’s companies have released an official statement on the matter, YN hasn’t been shy about fueling the rumors. In a recent post on her Instagram, she shared a photo of herself wearing a Burn The Stage hoodie, captioning it, “i guess i’ve got good taste 👀” which has sent fans into overdrive speculating that she’s sending a not-so-subtle message about her relationship with Jeongguk.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Yoongi groans to himself. He can’t read any more of this drivel. The wooden table in front of him suddenly looks all too inviting, perfect for him to bash his skull into.

You’re everywhere, completely inescapable for the past week. Apparently, Yoongi’s bi-weekly breakfast with Hoseok is no exception. The first one they’ve been able to have since the tour, too. God forbid he wants to mindlessly scroll on his phone for a second while he waits for his friend to return, because there you are, taunting him. 

After the concert, Yoongi had been so annoyed by seeing you again. Pissed off at the circumstances. Ready to do anything in his power to extricate you from Jeongguk as fast as possible.

The past week has dulled his rage considerably. The endorphins of playing live have died, as have the potent emotions that come with them. Yoongi’s logical adult brain has set in, leaving him with only a headache.

“Woah,” Hoseok says, snorting as he slides a coffee into Yoongi’s field of vision. He slips into the booth across from him, taking a sip from his own cup with an amused look on his face. “You look much more homicidal than I left you. What could’ve possibly pissed you off in the last five minutes?”

Wordlessly, Yoongi hands Hoseok his phone, the article still displayed on the screen. Hoseok silently reads the first few paragraphs, and when he scrolls back up to look at the photo attached, his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Oh?” he says, zooming in on your face. On Yoongi’s phone. The audacity. “This is the Innisfree girl, right? She’s dating Jeongguk?”

“Allegedly.”

“Is her skin really that nice in person?”

“Not the point,” Yoongi hisses, snatching his phone back from Hoseok’s grip and hastily closing the article to get your dumb face off of his phone. Dumb, poreless face.

“Okay, touchy,” Hoseok says, raising his hands in surrender. “Please explain the point.”

“I don’t trust her,” Yoongi says, tapping his foot under the table. “The relationship is bogus. She’s after something, I just can’t figure out what it is.”

“And you’re basing this on…?”

“Intuition,” Yoongi says flatly.

“Right. Because your intuition is never wrong,” Hoseok says, tone laden with sarcasm. “Need I remind you that you weren’t the biggest fan of me when we met?”

“I thought you were annoying,” Yoongi agrees. He takes a sip of his coffee to mask a smirk. “Who says I was wrong about that?”

“I’d probably be hurt if you hadn’t essentially bought us couple rings last year,” Hoseok says, waggling his eyebrows. “You want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

“Aish, they weren’t couple rings,” Yoongi complains. “Stop saying that. The wrong person is going to hear you and think it’s true.”

“Your ears are pink!” Hoseok exclaims triumphantly, pointing at the evidence. “Your mouth says one thing, but your ears always give you away.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Yoongi grumbles, pulling his beanie down. “Stop changing the subject.”

“Right, right. Sorry, hyung, you’re just so easy to tease,” Hoseok says, not even bothering to stifle his snickering. The bastard. “Jeonggukie’s new lady love. Go. Wait, do you want to fuck her?”

“What?” Yoongi sputters, eyes widening because what the fuck? “No—what? Look, it’s not just intuition, okay? I’m right about her. And you saw what the article said—drama follows her wherever she goes. Maybe she thinks dating Jeongguk will rehabilitate her image, or something like that.”

Yoongi had been so confident that wasn’t the case, since you’ve maintained all of your brand deals even in the midst of your many scandals, but maybe he was wrong. He still doesn’t know why you’re doing this, and it’s like the closer he gets, the less he can see.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi groans, rubbing his hands over his face. “She’s also just a bitch.”

“Okay,” Hoseok concedes, crossing his arms. “If you say so. She’s a bitch who you don’t want to fuck. What are you going to do about it?”

Yoongi shrugs. “I have that dinner tomorrow night. I was thinking of talking to Jeongguk after or something.”

“And telling him that his girlfriend is the devil? I’m sure that’ll go over well.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Yoongi sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “Jeongguk is a stubborn kid, but he knows I wouldn’t ruin something good for him. If I word it right, maybe he’ll listen.”

“You’re not wrong. For whatever reason, Jeongguk trusts your judgement.”

Yoongi glares at him. “Go fuck yourself, Hob-ah.”

“Whatever, hyung,” Hoseok says, rolling his eyes. “Let’s talk about something else, please. I haven’t seen you in months.”

Yoongi relents easily. He doesn’t really want to be talking about you either, not when it feels like an ice pick is being jammed into his temple. 

He’ll just have to figure out what to say to Jeongguk later.

★ ★ ★

“Wow,” Seokjin says around a mouthful of jjapaguri. “He really hates you, huh?”

He’s fresh out of a long shift at the hospital, but he still headed straight to your apartment at the promise of food and celebrity gossip—his two biggest weaknesses, especially when the food doesn’t have to be made by him and the celebrity is you.

“Seems like it,” you sigh, using your chopsticks to push your noodles around aimlessly. “Normally I wouldn’t care, you know? Like, get in line, asshole.”

“But you care.”

“But I care.”

“Because of Jeongguk,” Seokjin says knowingly.

You drop your chopsticks and groan, stifling the sound by covering your face with your hands.

“Yes,” you concede. “But not because of that. I just want to help him, you know? He got me through a really rough spot last year. I’d feel like shit if I agreed to do this for him and then it ended up blowing up in our faces because of me.”

“Mmm,” Seokjin hums, chewing thoughtfully. “I’m sure the fact that you’re in love with him is a big motivator, though.”

You pick up your head, glaring at him. “Love is a big word, Jin.”

A very big word, you think, picking up your glass of wine to take a long gulp. God help you.

“A fitting one, too!” he says gleefully. “Come oooon. No judgement here. He’s hot. Not as hot as me, of course, but I have to give credit where credit is due.”

“Yes, you’re a god among men,” you mumble, rolling your eyes. “I don’t love Jeongguk. Not like that, at least. Do I need to remind you of the whole reason I’m doing this in the first place?”

“Yeah, yeah, the secret girlfriend,” Seokjin says, waving a hand dismissively. “Whatever. You’re spending a lot of time with him, is all I’m saying. The tides may turn in your favor.”

Wow, and you thought you were delusional.

“Fat chance,” you deadpan, polishing off your wine. “Especially if Yoongi is as persistent as he’s making himself out to be.”

“What’s his beef with you, anyway?” Seokjin asks, snorting to himself as he picks up a piece of steak with his chopsticks. Hilarious. “I feel like he’s going a little far for it to just be protectiveness, you know?”

Right. When you’d given Seokjin the rundown via text, you’d left one pretty substantial piece of information out.

“He said, um,” you start, picking at one of your nails nervously—a habit that Hyerin would smack you on the back of the head for, if she were here. “He said that he knows… more than I think.”

Just like that, all of the humor drains from Seokjin’s expression. “Meaning…?”

“I don’t know,” you say, your voice wobbling just a bit. “I don’t know, but if it does mean that… It makes the idea of rolling over and doing what he says pretty enticing, not gonna lie.”

“Fuck that,” Seokjin says firmly, your eyes widening in response. “If he’s the type of guy to use something like that as blackmail, then he’s a piece of shit. I don’t care if he is trying to protect Jeongguk.”

“He can’t know, though,” you groan, fully resting your head on the cool marble of your kitchen countertop now. 

You’ve been wracking your brain for days now, trying to figure out if it’s even possible for Yoongi to know anything. You’re pretty confident the answer is no, but there’s no way to be one-hundred percent sure without confirmation from the man himself. And you’d honestly rather die.

“Nobody knows except the people involved and you. You’re the only one who didn’t sign an NDA, and I’m pretty confident you’ve never met Min Yoongi. Not to mention you just wouldn’t—”

“Share that information? Hell no, I wouldn’t,” Seokjin interrupts, scoffing. “Okay, well… Regardless of whether he knows anything, he honestly just sounds like a dick and I think you should kill him.”

You snort, lifting your eyes to look at him from where your head rests on the counter. “Maybe that can be plan B,” you offer.

“Fine, then what’s the plan A?” Seokjin counters, crossing his arms and raising a conspiratorial eyebrow at you.

Fantastic question, one you’ve been thinking about the answer to since you abruptly left the afterparty that night. It’s not like you can tell Jeongguk what’s going on and risk having to tell him the whole truth. You trust Jeongguk, but…

No, it’s not an option. You don’t want anyone else to know. So, if Yoongi’s going to insist on being a problem for you, you might as well return the favor. It’s only fair.

You grin, lifting your head and leaning closer to Seokjin.

“I’m going to make his life a living hell.”

★ ★ ★

Yoongi hasn’t touched a cigarette since he was twenty one years old.

He picked up the nasty habit at sixteen, when one of his friends doled out African Ice Jacks amongst the group, bragging that his hyung had bought the pack for him. As soon as the lighter was flicked on and the bittersweet taste of bubblegum and tobacco filled Yoongi’s lungs, he was hooked.

It was stupidly easy to get his hands on cigarettes before he was of legal age, even when his friend’s hyung couldn’t supply them for whatever reason. All of the adults around him smoked, including his parents. 

It felt as though cigarettes were an extension of his hand, felt wrong when he didn’t have the option to light one up. During school hours, Yoongi’s fingers would twitch on his desk as he waited for his last class to end.

He was a fucking anxious, wound-up kid. Smoking was the only thing that helped, sometimes. If he had a shit day, at least he could have a cigarette.

When the band got signed, though, things changed. Despite the fact that the majority of the population in Korea smoked, celebrities were vilified for it in the media. For whatever fucking reason. Yoongi didn’t care much what the media had to say about him, but he reasoned that it would be pretty stupid to let his dream die over Ice Jacks. So he quit.

It was hard at first, but it’s been five years now. After so much time, it’s rare that cigarettes even cross his mind, even when others smoke around him.

Sitting across the table from you now, though, Yoongi’s fingers twitch just like they had when he was in grade school staring at a clock.

He and the band started frequenting Yoojung Sikdang long before there was any real hope for fame. It was their chosen spot after every practice. The ajumma who owns it knows their names, remembers their orders by heart. Over the years, the only part of the restaurant that’s changed is their autographed photos on the wall. They’ve celebrated every single milestone here, big or small, just the five of them. Alone.

Wrapping up their first world tour should be no different. It’s their biggest milestone yet, and all Yoongi wanted was to eat ssambap with his best friends. Remind himself that none of the fame matters as long as they still have this.

But here you are. Of course. Encroaching on everything Yoongi’s built, everything he holds dear to his heart.

The only time it’s ever been more than the five of them here was the night they signed their contract, accompanied by two label executives. Even if you’re allegedly riding Jeongguk’s dick, no way are you that fucking important.

Yoongi would laugh if he wasn’t so pissed off. You are such a fucking pest. He just can’t shake you off.

“You don’t like what you ordered?” Jimin asks you, snapping Yoongi out of his thoughts.

Yoongi’s made an effort to keep to himself for the majority of the dinner. No use in ruining everyone else’s night—it’s still a special one, after all. Besides, he’s still trying to be an adult about things. You may have ruined his plan to talk to Jeongguk tonight, but it’s not like he’s going to cause a scene in front of a restaurant full of people—

“Oh, I’m just not very hungry,” you say. Yoongi’s eyes narrow.

All you’ve been doing all night is burrowing into Jeongguk’s side, barely touching your food. Lipgloss still perfectly in place. Normally, Yoongi wouldn’t care—he’s not paying for it. He wastes food on the label’s dime all the time. At Yoojung Sikdang, though?

“Why did you come, then?” 

The words come out of Yoongi’s mouth before he can stop them, sharp and pointed. He’d fully intended to keep his mouth shut, eat his food, and then go home. Maybe buy a pack on the way. But now they’re out there, and Yoongi can’t bring himself to care. Certainly not to feel bad.

For the first time since you’d walked in on Jeongguk’s arm, you make eye contact with him. On purpose this time—challenging. Yoongi’s not a little bitch, so he stares back. 

“Because Jeonggukie invited me,” you say, faux sweetness dripping from your words as you lean your head on Jeongguk’s shoulder. Eyes still fixed on Yoongi. “I figured it would be okay, since you all gave me such a warm welcome last time.”

Yeah. Yoongi’s buying that pack of cigarettes. 

“You’re always welcome to come out with us,” Taehyung coos, like he thinks you’re the cutest thing in the world. Knowing Taehyung, he probably does.

Everyone seems to be in agreement on that front, too, except Yoongi who rolls his eyes as he shoves a ssam into his mouth. Whatever.

“It’s gonna be hell getting you out of here, though,” Namjoon adds from Yoongi’s left. He leans over to glance at the crowd of people peering through the front of the restaurant, cameras at the ready, desperate to get a glimpse of you and Jeongguk. Not that you’re making it particularly hard.

“We’ve never had a crowd like that out there,” Jimin says, in awe. “I’m not surprised, though. Those articles about you two have been getting tons of clicks.”

“Ah,” you say. If Yoongi didn’t know better, he’d think you sound almost sheepish. “That, um. That might be my fault. I told my manager I was coming here. She must’ve tipped someone off.”

Of course.

“Anything for a photo-op, right?” Yoongi sneers, unable to help himself. It’s such an easy shot, after all. You’re being so transparent.

“Hyung,” Taehyung says, eyes wide as if he’s appalled. 

“I’m sorry, Yoongi-ssi,” you say, tilting your head at him. That little flash of a challenge is still in your eyes, and Yoongi doesn’t like it one bit. “Do you have a problem with me being here?”

Yoongi scoffs, sitting up. When he speaks, it’s laced with bitterness. “We just don’t normally come here with guests, that’s all. I guess I didn’t get the memo that that’d suddenly changed.”

“I invited her, hyung,” Jeongguk says. “She’s my girlfriend.” He wraps his arm around you protectively and, fuck, you’re good. You’re so good at making Yoongi look like the asshole.

“I get that, Guk-ah,” Yoongi tries, his voice considerably softer now. “But, come on… Here? And the mob outside, I mean… Do you really think that was just a harmless mistake?”

“What are you implying?” Jeongguk grits out. He’s angry now, that much is clear, and it’s Yoongi’s fault. 

You have him trapped. He’s surrounded by landmines, unable to come up with a single response that could possibly defuse them.

“Come on, guys,” Namjoon says, glancing at Yoongi pointedly. “We’re here to celebrate.”

“If Yoongi-ssi is uncomfortable that I’m here, maybe I should go,” you say, making to get up.

Jeongguk reaches for your arm, stopping you. “No,” he says. “Yoongi-hyung, you can either get over it and stay with us, or you can leave. You’re the only one who doesn’t want her here.”

Un-fucking-believable.

“Are you serious?” Yoongi scoffs, looking around at everyone. Is this really happening to him right now? This is his band!

The table is deadly silent. Everyone refuses to meet Yoongi’s eyes except you and Jeongguk, who raises a challenging eyebrow at him. It’s immediately apparent to Yoongi that he’s not winning this one. That somehow, he’s ruined the night meant to celebrate him and his friends.

Bitterly, Yoongi laughs. “Fine.”

No one protests when he pushes his chair away from the table and stands up, and that stings much more than Yoongi would like to admit.

He catches your eye as he grabs his jacket off the back of his chair, anger flaring at how pleased you look. 

“Have a nice fucking dinner,” Yoongi mutters, before turning on his heel and walking towards the door. Leaving his friends to face a crowd of photographers and fans that you called.

As he walks out into the cold, dodging the phones being shoved in his face, all he can think about is the way Jeongguk had looked at him.

★ ★ ★

You met Jeon Jeongguk a year ago, give or take a few months. You just remember it was cold.

Less than twenty-four hours after a particularly nasty breakup with a guy you didn’t love but liked enough, you were back on the clock. Zipped into something tight and expensive, wearing the best waterproof mascara money could buy.

You hated those events to begin with—the galas, end of year ceremonies for awards you were no longer viable to win. They were torture for you. But the sting of being freshly single only made things worse, so you had decided to make the most of it.

You may not have been able to win a KMA, but you were well within your rights to treat the KMAs themselves like your own personal dating pool. No better way to rid yourself of your ex like getting with someone new, you thought.

Which is where Jeongguk came in, devastatingly hot in his tailored suit. You’d ran into him on your way from the bathroom—much like you had with Yoongi, now that you think about it—and you instantly found yourself wondering what it would be like to kiss a guy with a lip ring. Jeongguk, as it turned out, was very interested in showing you. 

You were both a little drunk, but the attraction was real. Instant. 

One very handsy cab ride later, and you were in his apartment, grinding on his lap as you experienced first-hand just how little of an obstacle a lip ring can be if the man who has it knows what he’s doing.

Things were going so well—Jeongguk’s tongue exploring your mouth as you felt his cock stiffening beneath you. But it all came crashing down as soon as his hand slid under your dress.

The fact of the matter was, you’d just been dumped. Regardless of how strongly you did or didn’t feel about your ex, you’d still been dumped and it still hurt. As soon as Jeongguk really touched you, it became all too apparent that you wouldn’t be able to go through with it. Luckily, at the slightest bit of hesitance from you, Jeongguk’s hand immediately retreated from under your dress. 

He was sweet about it. Really, really sweet. Valiantly ignored his erection and offered to listen instead, which made you laugh. Comforted you even though you hadn’t thought you needed it. Let you sleep in his bed anyway. When you left the next morning, kindly offered to be your friend, because you clearly needed one.

You’ve been friends ever since. 

Not in the same way that Seokjin is your friend, of course. Seokjin is your best friend, has been since you were both kids. But Jeongguk just… He gets the industry, in a way that Seokjin never will.

Which brings you to last month.

Last month, when Jeongguk called you nervously in the middle of his tour schedule. Asked you to be his fake girlfriend in guilty, hushed whispers.

You didn’t need to know why. You were always going to say yes. 

But Jeongguk explained anyway. He explained that he has a girlfriend, a real girlfriend, who isn’t from your world. That he hasn’t been able to see her nearly as much as he’d like to because he’s terrified of the backlash she could receive from being connected to him romantically.

You read between the lines—you have nothing to lose, at this point. There isn’t a day that goes by where someone online doesn’t have something to say about you, reputable or not.

He explained that in order to maintain the lie, no one in the industry could know the truth, not even Jeongguk’s bandmates. According to him, they wouldn’t understand why he felt the need to go to such lengths. You didn’t completely agree then, but having met Yoongi now, you get it.

His girlfriend knows about you, he’d told you. She knows who you are, knows about that night last year, and that she still agreed to let him ask you this. She doesn’t see you as a threat.

It stung, a little. Of course it did. You and Jeongguk may be friends, but you’ve always felt a hint of something else there. Maybe it was the kindness he’d shown you when you met. Maybe it’s just him. But you never said anything, convinced it was one-sided.

Clearly you were right.

Still, you want to do this for him. You care about him, and just because you can’t maintain a stable relationship doesn’t mean Jeongguk doesn’t deserve a chance at one.

You think, if Yoongi knew, he’d feel the same.

★ ★ ★

Five years down the drain, Yoongi thinks. Ashes his cigarette. Oh well.

Honestly, it’s not even really about you, although Yoongi would love to pretend otherwise. If he pins it all on you, it makes his mission to get rid of you all the more noble. The label breathing down his neck. The impending deadline of an album he doesn’t know if he can write. Dongsaengs that don’t know how to stay out of trouble. If it’s all your fault, it can’t be his.

This—the smoking—was bound to happen, with or without you. You just helped the process along.

He’s perched on his windowsill, puffing his way through cigarette number two, when his phone buzzes next to him.

Namjoon doesn’t call him nearly ever. Yoongi has a way that he likes things done, and Namjoon is probably his only friend that actually respects it. Emails for work. In-person or texts for personal shit. Video calls never. Phone calls only if Yoongi needs to hear it now and there’s no other way.

Yoongi picks up.

“Joon-ah?” Cautious. He likes phone calls the least because phone calls mean trouble, like someone is in the hospital. He’s gotten that call before, more than once.

“Hyung,” Namjoon says. “Do you have a minute?”

Namjoon wouldn’t be asking that if someone was in the hospital, so Yoongi allows himself to unclench. Just a little. “Yeah, I have a minute.”

He hears rustling on the line, like Namjoon is fidgeting. But Namjoon is always fidgeting, so that could mean nothing.

“I figured, given the events of tonight, that it would be a good call to warn you ahead of time. I would’ve come by your apartment, but I’ve got meetings all morning tomorrow and it’s late. I didn’t want to wait until next time I see you though, so…” Namjoon starts, trailing off. 

Yoongi works his jaw. “Spit it out, Joon-ah,” he says, because Namjoon is shit at delivering bad news. He’s always beating around the bush, trying to soften the blow. It’s great for the kids, but it makes Yoongi feel like he’s about to have to bury his first-born or some shit. Yoongi likes clear, direct.

Namjoon knows this, so he always gets it right on the second try.

“YN is going to the Jeju house with you guys,” Namjoon says. Clear and direct, but the absolute last thing Yoongi wants to hear right now. 

“You’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not.”

“She has literally no fucking reason to be there, Joon-ah,” Yoongi grits out. The cigarette secured between his index and middle knuckles has burned down to nothing, singes his fingers. He hisses and flicks it out the window. “Is she going to help us write an album? Is that it?”

“Hyung—“

“No, she isn’t. She’s going to distract my lead singer the whole time and make the whole point of the trip fucking impossible,” he interrupts, because once he gets started he can’t stop. “Who signed off on this? Doesn’t she have a job? Isn’t there a goddamn camera that needs to be smoldered at?”

“Yoongi-hyung,” Namjoon says. He’s using his manager voice, and Yoongi shuts up instantly. 

Namjoon uses this voice on the kids all the time. Realistically, it’s not a big deal. It’s his job. But he’s never had to use it on Yoongi before.

He deserves it, though. Yoongi knows that. He knows that he’s been insufferable ever since you showed up, and he doesn’t like it either. He’d wanted to talk to Jeongguk, to have a heart-to-heart with him about it, but that’s proven impossible given that you’re always around. And Namjoon is their voice of reason.

Yoongi tries again.

“I don’t like her,” he explains, keeping his voice level. “I don’t think she has Jeongguk’s best interests at heart. I’m just trying to look out for him.”

The line stays quiet for a long moment, like Namjoon is taking special care in choosing his next words. It would make Yoongi nervous, but that’s just what Namjoon does.

“Hyung, you need to leave it alone,” he finally says.

What the fuck.

Yoongi could have foreseen plenty of responses from Namjoon. He’s been on the receiving end of Namjoon’s sage advice more than he’s proud of. Yoongi worries a lot, and Namjoon is particularly good at quieting those worries, particularly when they pertain to the kids. And they usually do. But he sure as shit wasn’t expecting to be blown off like that.

“Joon-ah, Jeongguk is gonna—“

“Jeongguk is a grown man. He’s fully entitled to make his own decisions, and you need to respect that if you don’t want to lose him.”

Lose him? Is Yoongi going insane? Is he fucking missing some integral piece of this puzzle that everyone else seems to have?

The notion of losing Jeongguk is completely absurd. How could he lose Jeongguk over something like this? Jeongguk, the college freshman with the huge eyes who followed Yoongi around like a puppy. Jeongguk who sang so softly when Yoongi asked, who beamed with pride when Yoongi told him he had something special. Jeongguk who dropped out alongside Yoongi, took a risk because he trusted his hyung to take care of him.

It was Yoongi and Jeongguk before it was anyone else, and Yoongi has never let Jeongguk down once, won’t allow himself to. This is the thing that’s going to change that? 

“What are you even talking about?”

“Just… leave this one alone, Yoongi,” Namjoon sighs. “She’s coming whether you like it or not, and you need to at least pretend to play nice.”

Yoongi doesn’t appreciate being treated like a child who’s the cause of his parent’s headache, not by Kim Namjoon. The label dickheads are one thing, but the one person Yoongi has entrusted with everything for the past five years? Before that, even? Fuck that. Namjoon doesn’t talk to him this way, and that’s not about to change because of you.

“Namjoon-ah, if you’re going to blow me off, at least put my cock in your mouth and do it right,” Yoongi spits, hanging up before he can think better of his words.

Fuck.

Yoongi hasn’t bitten Namjoon’s head off like that in a long time. It doesn’t feel good to be back in old patterns like this. Yoongi knows why he doesn’t trust you, but he doesn’t know what it is about you that makes it so—urgent. Like he’s a wild animal primed to bite. To hurt. Yoongi isn’t that guy. 

If what Namjoon said is true, if Jeongguk really is at risk of slipping through Yoongi’s fingers, he has to get his fucking act together. He has to try harder to handle this like an adult.

So, you’re coming to Jeju. Fine. Yoongi can be civil.

Even if the only way for him to be civil is not to speak to you at all.

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[99pansy]

ss/mayo blogspot lore + frerard theory

hi I'm about to drop some insane lore that I don't think a lot of mcr fans/frerard theorists know about. this isn't discussed often so I figured I should write about it here before all the evidence is lost to time.

this is probably gonna be a long one so buckle in! i have gathered as much evidence here as possible but there's no way to be certain about anything. i'm trying to maintain as much journalistic integrity as i can throughout this post (also trying super hard not to insert my opinion too much) because i think a lot of this speaks for itself.

so i have a pretty significant frerard theory but i have to give a lot of backstory and documentation for it to fully make sense. this will not be in chronological order (to best suit the narrative) but i hope it makes sense

many people know about frank's F.T. Willz endeavors which have been proven as him in recent years. however, "ss" or "shitsubou shita" was another blog he had before this which is not widely known

around 2007, there was a major theory in the fandom that gerard and frank were running secret blogspot accounts where they'd post journals, poetry, etc. frank's account was iamthemodernprometheus.blogspot.com and gerard's supposed account was its-mayonaise.blogspot.com. both accounts are still up, though i'm not sure if any posts have since been deleted. this probably sounds crazy so i'll explain everything!

evidence for frank as SS/shitsubou-shita/iamthemodernprometheus

i strongly believe this was frank's personal blog, but you can come to your own conclusions based on this info

frank's supposed original blogspot handle was "shitsubou-shita." once fans realized this was his account, he deleted it pretty much immediately. you can read some fan discussion about the fall out from this in a comment thread here. this comment thread will be linked a few times in this post because most of the screenshots on this post originate from there.

apparently *frank* was posting some very personal thoughts/feelings on this blog that he did not want to be discovered. i'll go over some of the deleted posts in a minute, but first i need to give more a little more context.

at the same time the blog is found, someone comments "your fired" on a recent post. apparently some fans thought the comment looked strangely out of place, and it was one of the last comments left before the account's deletion, on one of the final posts made.

this will be relevant later on, and we'll get into the account's posts soon.

my theory is that someone on the "inside" could have found his personal blog and tried spooking him, which could have been the final straw for him. or, the account being deleted could be completely unrelated to the weird comment. all of this can be found here (same link i posted previously)

months after deleting their blog, shitsubou shita begins posting under a new url "iamthemodernprometheus" (but still under the pen name "shitsubou shita" or "ss" as fans called him)

in his new blog, and similarly to F.T. Willz years later, he still leaves plenty of crumbs for fans to figure out it's him. screenshot sources are below

latin heading: his page had a latin heading that when translated, reads "keep the faith"

bio on blogspot: "industry - chemicals", and "you dont stop playing cos you get old…you get old cos you stop playing" both sound suspiciously personal to frank

his url choice: "the modern prometheus" is the full title of mary shelley's frankenstein. frankenstein is a character that frank has always deeply resonated with due to his namesake, love of horror, and being born on halloween

spelling of wierd: SS and frank both spell "weird" as "wierd"

i think he enjoyed the mystery of having a secret online persona, which eventually led to the creation of F.T. Willz in 2008. it seems like wanted to leave just enough evidence for people to suspect it was him, but not enough to prove it.

here are some snippets of 2007 era discourse about the identity of "ss" and their deleted blog. you can find all of these comments and more context here. this was around the time gerard got married and fans felt like the dynamic on stage was different, and they were concerned about the future of the band. it's a LOT to go over so i would advise reading the comments if you want more perspective

on the next page, an anonymous comment is posted which fans immediately begin to speculate is SS (frank). again, if you click the link you can get way more context than i'm able to provide here.

this insinuates that SS frequented the comments on mayo's blog, which i don't think he would have done without believing/knowing mayo is gerard

there was a lot discussed in this thread including pretty solid evidence that frank/ss wrote the ancient and historic "eliza post"

if you are not aware of the eliza cuts drama, that's a totally different and equally as insane rabbit hole you'll have to research on your own

tldr; she is gerard's mentally unstable ex-fiance who he was engaged to very shortly before lindsey

gerard and eliza got engaged on may 22, 2007 (the last show of the black parade tour) according to this reddit comment.

the "eliza post" went up on june 4, 2007. here is the post in its entirety:

"Hi I felt I had to write to you guys to allay some of your fears regarding the rumours and speculation surrounding Gerard and Eliza and the future of the band. This is the only time I will ever post. I will not be able to respond to your comments or enter into discussion or debate on what I'm about to say. We are aware that this is one of the most popular message boards for MCR fans and we know you guys are the most dedicated and loyal fans in the world. It saddens me to see such division amongst the fans over one woman. If it's any consolation, you guys are not the only ones affected. She is merely tolerated by both band and crew. Believe me, nothing anyone can say will change his mind. She's been the cause of numerous conflicts and while we dont have to like it, we have to accept it, at least for the forseeable future. From day one this woman has had a hidden agenda - her manipulation knows no bounds. Some of you may find this difficult to believe but I assure you I have personally witnessed the two sides of this woman. Her so-called 'good deeds' are nothing more than PR exercises for his benefit. But he does not see what goes on behind closed doors. We have tried to draw his attention to her blatant self-promotion and diva demands. This is a prime example of love being blind. His feelings for her do run very deep. Her feelings for him, however, are questionable at best. Many people believe, including myself, that he is being used as nothing more than a stepping stone. It's disheartening to see someone you care about and have worked with for a very long time change as a person, becoming more detached and causing the group dynamic to change as a result. There have been conflicts and differences of opinions and compromises have had to be made She does not accompany the band on the European legs of the tour. Since being on this current European leg, he seems much happier which suggest she doesnt make him as happy as he thinks. Despite being asked more than once to remain discreet, she blatantly disregards his wish to keep his personal life private by continually fuelling the internet hype. The band has always been about the music and the fans. This will not change. MCR have never endorsed any type of clique as it encourages and promotes the kind of high school mentality that MCR have always fought against. Your continued support is appreciated and rest assured this woman will have no adverse affect on the band and the music. For obvious reasons I am remaining anonymous. Eliza, we know you trawl these message boards and you probably know who I am - but I'd like to see you try and prove it!!!"

it's clear that whoever wrote this had a very strong distaste for eliza and was deeply troubled by the idea of gerard marrying her. based on the language used and style of writing, i strongly believe frank wrote this post. i'll be circling back to this in a minute, because i have a little more to go over.

for more evidence that SS is frank, we can reference this reddit comment made just 9 months ago by someone heavily involved in the blogspot community at the time, kapunua. their username on this post is "ReallyKapu."

if you read through the comment links I provided earlier, you may see their name pop up. they are also mentioned by name on the "iamthemodernprometheus" blog. if you also search "kapunua mcr" on google, you can verify their involvement in the blogspot community at the time.

kapunua is also mentioned in its-mayonaise's post here (no screenshot provided for this one, its just a small mention)

there's also a screenshot of a different comment kapunua made about 9 years ago with similar information. i found the screenshot here.

evidence that "mayo" is gerard

as mentioned in the post above, mayo often used british english syntax in his posts. he also posted about some pretty juicy stuff including a blowjob poem (you can seek that out yourself)

using british english isn't out of the ordinary for gerard. he often used an accent on stage during this time. moreover, he is a writer who has written multiple characters with this type of accent, showing he has a certain appeciation for it. i think his persona for the "mayo" account could been a sort of character he put on to disguise his idenity.

if you decide to view mayo's blog, you'll see each post has nothing but comments from mcr fans exclusively. i find it very interesting that the writer of its-mayonaise never bothered to make a post saying "hey, btw, i'm not gerard" in the 4 years this blog was run for

we have somewhat less definitive evidence that gerard is mayo. however, it is clear that at the very least, they had to have been someone involved with MCR or their crew at the time.

mayo makes a post alluding to their identity here, which you can find in the first screenshot below. this section sounds a lot like something gerard would write:

"I have been asked to reveal myself to you. You all know me. I am whoever you want me to be, I am an artist, a poet, a singer, a motherfucker, and a contradiction, a mouthpiece, a friend, and an enemy, a brother, an informant, a whipping boy, a basket case, a queen, and a criminal...(credit to John Hughes.)"

there are THOUSANDS of comments, many of which speculate the identity of mayo on each of his blogspot posts. you should definitely do your own detective work and see what you think, because there is far too much info to go through here.

a frerard theory

as i previously mentioned, frank had deleted his original blog for shitsubou-shita in late september. however, prior to this, he made and then deleted some particularly turbulent and questionable posts

for context, the frerard fight happened on august 22, 2007, and gerard and lindsey got married on september 3, 2007 (just four months after gerard was engaged to eliza)

gerard and lindsey are married on the last night of the projekt revolution tour.

mcr takes a break for one month after this, where we can probably safely assume that freshly-married gerard and frank did not plan on seeing one another.

i think this was very troubling for frank for many different reasons. gerard had just freed himself of the eliza situation and here he was making the same mistake again. he was on the verge of losing his dearest friend yet again, and i believe that despite his best efforts, he could not get through to gerard.

obviously, gerard and lindsey are still married to this day. however, many fans might be aware of what happened between her and mikey. there's also a lot of other questionable information about lindsey circling the web, but that's a different story for another time.

weeks later, similarly to the eliza situation, shitsubou-shita makes and deletes the following posts on his original blog (this was prior to the creation of iamthemodernprometheus):

Friday, September 21, 2007 Abandon hope, all who enter here... What the fuck happened? Why didn't I see this coming? I made a point to keep out of it this time, but at what cost? I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place, it's a lose/lose situation. I've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways? What's with the double standards? People are starting to notice. I'm not talking about kids, I'm talking about people in their mid 20's and 30's. People with life experience who can see the cracks starting to show. What am I supposed to say? I just dont have the answers. How can I reassure them when I need reassurance myself?

he says "i made a point to keep out of it this time" which seems like a reference to the situation with eliza i mentioned previously. he alludes to the idea that fans are beginning to notice the band's dynamic is not the same anymore. this was specifically around the time when "frerard" moments came to a pretty abrupt end.

he says "i've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways?" which can be interpreted in a few different ways. he may feel deceived due to his best friend's sudden marriage. however, the intensity of the language used in this post shows he probably had some very intense feelings toward the situation.

it seems like the writer was having a considerably difficult time coping with these feelings. a day later, this post is made:

Saturday, September 22, 2007 Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Bullshit. I've always been a smart ass, even as a child, although my mom would prefer to use the term precocious. I've always had trouble keeping my mouth shut, I'm an open book, completely ingenuous - secrecy and circumvention are not my style. But then I've never experienced extreme paranoia. So I'm writing this blog. I know you will never read it, I wouldn't want you to. Not everything is about you. This blog is for ME, a perverse catharsis, I need this right now to preserve the small amount of sanity I have left. A blog fuelled by disappointment, frustration, confusion and dejection. I am not laying the blame at your door. The burden of blame is mine. I didn't speak up soon enough. I didn't want to rock the boat, I've been there before. I didn't want to fight or endure days of being given the silent treatment. Its not fair on the others. Why do you always make everyone feel like they have to take sides? If I had been a better friend, I would have stepped in regardless of the consequences. I acted selfishly because I didn't want to lose you, but ironically, I may have lost you anyway. I meant every word I said at the diner and although I didnt show it, your smirk and glib response hurt me more than you will ever know. I don't know who you are anymore. I cant seem to find the right words. Nothing I say seems to reach you. You are wrong. I DO care. I love you. I refuse to give up on you and I refuse to let you push me away. I am going to fight for our friendship, you aren't the only one with a stubborn streak. We are in this together, for the long haul, I promise. I want my friend back. I miss him.

it seems like whatever the writer is feeling toward the subject of this post goes beyond the boundaries of a typical friendship. the final paragraph says everything we need to know.

we can assume that based on this post's mention of meeting a diner, that frank and gerard likely met up during their month-long break to talk about the way things went down

lastly, i know there's at least one interview floating or blog post around where frank says he was a difficult teen and a pain in the ass as a kid, but i can't find it right now. if anyone has the link to that i would love to add it here, because i remember it sounding pretty similar to that first paragraph.

Sunday, September 23, 2007 Is the pen really mightier than the sword? And so you continue to blog, as do I. The difference is, I am not hurting anyone. I'm just trying to gain some perspective while you are publicly making a fool of yourself. Your words are hungrily devoured and dissected by the masses, you seem to revel in the chaos and controversy. At the moment your identity is pure speculation, but have you thought about the consequences if anyone was able to prove your identity? Not just for you, but for all of us? Have you lost your mind? How can you be so selfish? You have become a self obsessed megalomaniac. I know what I get out of writing my blogs - but what do you get out of writing yours? Do you even bother to read the comments? Some of those comments break my heart. These aren't just nameless, faceless strangers, these are real people with real lives and real feelings. These are the people that allowed us to bring our music into their lives. These are the people that we see on tour, the people that wait outside for hours in the cold and rain just to meet us, the people that write us letters and make us scrapbooks, the people who care enough to bake us cookies and brownies, the people that send us birthday cards and bizarre, crazy ass gifts, the people that have given us their love and support, the people that cheer us on, the people that made us. Why are you so hellbent on destroying not only yourself, but everyone who loves you? You wanna see how far down I can sink? Your mom called last night - and I lied to her. After everything she has done for us, I lied to her. How do you think that made me feel? Do you even care?

this last post, for me, solidifies the identities behind each blog. it is so clear through the details in this post. to me, it seems like frank was hurting so bad, and in such a vulnerable place, that he completely let his guard down and made this post.

the mcr lyric included "You wanna see how far down I can sink?" is undoubtedly mind-boggling and speaks volumes to how carelessly obvious frank was (maybe intentionally?) willing to be

there's so much to unpack in this post and i honestly can't even begin to wrap my head around it. i would love to hear anyone's opinion!

later in the post, it seems clear that he is referencing the iam-mayonaise blog and gerard's seemingly wreckless posting. but mostly, i think he was lashing out due to pain of betrayal after losing the closest person to him and someone he deeply loves not once, but twice.

again, it's hard to believe how obvious he was being here, but i really think it was a result of the pain/suffering he felt

if you scroll back up to the first screenshot of this post, you can circle back around to when he removed his entire profile after making this final post, eventually rebranding to "iamthemodernprometheus"

the its-mayonaise account makes this post on september 30, seemingly as a response. the title could apply to frank, who as we all know, was gerard's best friend and right-hand man. the rest of this post can be interpreted in many different ways, so you can make whatever you want out of it:

however, the last paragraph does give me pause... i would love to see/create a full analysis of this post, but i'm trying to stick to facts here so you can form your own judgement

after gerard's wedding and mcr's month long break, they play two shows in mexico (oct 4 & 7, 2007) and then the hoboken show takes place, where frank yells "lie to me" during i'm not okay and seems very low energy and unlike himself

i believe things gradually improved between them after this point, but i'm not sure if their connection was ever completely the same.

conclusion/my opinion

coupled with all of the other available evidence about gerard/frank's tumultuous friendship/relationship/situationship, i think this information strongly alludes to the idea that at the very least, frank had some very intense feelings for gerard that were not fully reciprocated. i would love to hear what anyone else's opinion is on this topic, because it definitely isn't discussed often

i think it's completely heartbreaking (especially with everything else we know) but i do think their incredible connection is a massive contributing factor to mcr's legacy

if you notice any inconsistencies in this post or have any questions, please send me a message! i want to keep this as consistent, comprehensible, and well-sourced as i can!

lastly please follow me if you liked this! i spent months researching and compiling sources for this post and i would so appreciate it <3

[katagawajr]

BORDERLANDS 4- the lore so far

a post compiling all the tidbits from the trailers/descriptions, about everything we know about the story (so far).

wanted to make this post because i may be borderlands' biggest hater, but this new stuff looks really intriguing so far! call me optimistic but i'm definitely interested for now...

(speculation/theorizing involved here. i'm not actually 100% knowledgeable on all the lore but this is just what i'm gathering from it. if it turns out to be true then i called it here first <3)

so here's the timeline we know so far:

-> At the end of Borderlands 3, Elpis is crashing into Pandora. To save everyone (on both places), Lilith flies up and teleports Elpis away. Presumably, just like Sanctuary in BL2, she can't exactly control where it goes.

-> Where it happens to go is the planet of Kairos: a planet hidden in space- it's insinuated that the "protective barrier" surrounding the planet (made of glass?) turned it invisible. Or at least undetectable.

-> This "revealed" Kairos to the universe. Elpis presumably has been pulled in and is now orbiting Kairos.

-> Kairos is currently being controlled by "The Timekeeper." The Timekeeper is not a PERSON, but rather an Eridian Guardian. AKA... A Vault Monster.

-> This is explicitly stated in one of Nyriad's diary entries from BL3. She mentions the Timekeeper by name as an "Eridian Creation," in the likes of Graveward (BL3) and the Traveller (TFTBL). It's also obvious by the images above that it isn't Human- it has robotic limbs, floats, and seemingly harnesses/is connected to the Vault Gate behind it.

-> The Timekeeper is described as a dictator obsessed with Perfect Order, furthering the idea that this hidden planet was in a perfect state of "Order," with only the Timekeeper + its "synthetic" army. Remnants of whatever Eridian Society created it, and hid it away, for whatever reason.

-> Elpis crashing into Kairos, and breaking the barrier, has enraged the Timekeeper, who's planet is now visible to the galaxy. And a big hole in the ceiling of it's house. Damn.

-> It's confirmed there's a few years' time-skip between the crashing of Elpis and the start of the game. The SCAVS of Elpis (and bandits of Pandora most likely, however they hitched a ride) have now made their way to the surface of Kairos and are causing mayhem. They seem way more mechanical in nature than the last time we saw Elpis, but similar vibes. Very tech-y, robotic, etc. -> These bandits become their own faction known as "The Rippers," and their leader is a robot lady named Callis.

-> Queen Callis is shown in the trailer to ALSO be not human (robot? something else? Kairos's influence, or Elpis tech? who knows.) But apparently she also has the power to control the bandits, through their masks. She puts the masks on them and their eyes turn red, matching hers. So it's possible she's just mind controlling every bandit.

-> Anyways, it's a "robo-bandit" VS. "synthetic Eridian" civil war deal. The Timekeeper appears to be attempting to subjugate the entire planet again, especially based on all the "break free" wording of the teaser descriptions. Whether you're fighting WITH Callis's army or just as a third party, it appears the Vault Hunters are from Elpis (or, were on Elpis when it got yoinked at the very least). And they're trying to escape this planet. -> The last description does mention "cast of characters, new AND old," so it remains to be seen in what capacity old characters are involved. It IS a time-skip, so maybe Sanctuary finally tracked down Lilith's whereabouts and she's stranded on Elpis. Maybe Ava is an adult now and leading the Crimson Raiders. Maybe the whole "Timekeeper" business means there will be timeline fuckery- pulling alternate timeline versions of old characters, bringing back dead ones, who knows.

-> (I'M PERSONALLY INCLINED TO BELIEVE that Sasha and Fiona will also play a role in this game? Because New Tales called specific attention to Sasha being in a different part of the galaxy unable to be found (hidden planet? wink wink?), and Fiona's talk of Sasha's anahatium pocketwatch, with the etched phrase "TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS.")

-> (Who knows if that is true, or what that really means. Just speculation here. I miss Sasha and Fiona, and they've been hyped up with BL3 Echoes, New Tales stuff, and even their own book. Give us the two best Borderlands characters back please.)

-> Last thing as an aside, it DOES show that we will be getting a Siren VH again. So she either needs to have Steele's unknown power, the Leech power, or some secret third thing. Maybe she isn't a real siren at all. The device on her arm could either be a way to REPLICATE a siren's power (like Anu, making her a "fake siren") or possibly as a way to enhance/contain the Leech power, like Tyreen alludes to in BL3. Interested to find out.

TLDR: we're finally getting the Eridian War plotline! They didn't forget guys! AND it directly involves Elpis, like the game where we first learned about the Eridian War!

Synthetic "Eridian" army led by a Vault Guardian/Monster, THE TIMEKEEPER, vs. the robotic bandit army, the Rippers, led by QUEEN CALLIS. Time-skip again (intrigued to see how long this time. It's canonically been at LEAST two years since BL3.) New + Old characters. New Eridian planet, like Nekrotafeyo. 4 New VH's, either FROM Elpis, or wayward travelers who accidentally crashed onto Kairos.

“Early 2025” gameplay reveal, unspecified 2025 release date.

[water-to-drink]

Be a Gladiolus in a Field of Belladonnas pt15

Into the Secret Archives

(Summary): After her meeting with the archons, Nahida decides to do some further research into the mysterious brooch found in the Akademiya’s secret archives, while you and company get ready to depart from the comfort of Dawn Winery

Part 1 Last Part Next Part

✧ Masterlist ✧

(Characters): Nahida, traveler!Lumine, abyss prince!Aether, Paimon, Childe, Diluc, & Kaeya

(Tags/Warnings): Men being petty, possible inaccurate character lore, use of (y/n), (if I missed anything lmk)

(Word Count): 1.3k

(A/n): Sorry if this might read a bit awkward, I’m a bit rusty with writting

Italics = book excerpts

A mess of scrolls, tablets, and books litter the floor of the basement of the Akademiya, a room that the attending students nor most of the faculty doesn’t know about its existence

There the dendro archon sits on the floor reading every document she can find pertaining to the life of the creator; sleep threatens to overtake her for she has been at this for hours but she is determined to at least find something that could aid her and the other archons

Her small hands rubbing the weariness from her eyes she picked up another scroll and began to read it, the document seemed to be useless like the previous ones until her eyes came upon an interesting sentence

“I once saw the creator with a chest pin during their battle with the adversary from another land.”

All tiredness left the little archon’s body. The brooch was seen by at least someone and “adversary from another land?” could this person be talking about a descender? If that’s the case then why would a descender come to Teyvat to fight their Grace?

She looked to see who wrote this manuscript, John Dee. She heard that name before, quickly skimming through the scrolls, tablets, and books she found the researcher’s name. An astrologer, alchemist, and occultist from over 4000 years ago. With newfound vigor Nahida thoroughly read the each of his manuscripts he wrote throughout his life and found that the brooch fascinated him

“Could this chest pin have gave their Holiness their power?”

“During the battle I saw 4 stones in the chest pin, one was yellow, the other was purple, the third was red, and the last one was white. They all shine with a brilliance that no precious stone on Teyvat could.”

“Perhaps the pin could be a way for their Holiness to connect to Teyvat? Or maybe the gods to be connected to humans?”

“Upon further reflection the chest pin could be a source of their powers.”

“The brooch could be a source of their Grace’s powers?” Mumbled the little archon

That can’t be, can it… the all powerful creator needing to rely on external power and not having it within them?

Picking up another book by the same man Nahida quickly read through the pages until she stopped at an interesting excerpt

“Oceanids are known to segment themselves into mimics. Perhaps the same could be said with their Holiness, segementing themselves into 4 different beings?”

Thinking back on her first encounter with the brooch, the small god did feel 4 different auras but they felt similar to each other, all felt similar to your presence whenever you would use her as a vessel

Whatever the case may be, all that Nahida knows is that once the gems are put into the brooch many answers will be revealed

On the other side of Teyvat there you are letting Aether write a letter for the Tsarita and her Harbingers

“My sword training have been going well, I’ve been told that I’m making excellent progress. Also thanks to the Cavalry Captain and the twins they have helped me in controlling my cryo powers, however they still need a lot more work. The ship heading to Fontaine is coming soon so I and the others will have to get ready to depart. Sincerely yours, (Y/n).” You finished

Aether puts the pen down on to the desk and you opened the window and called for a bird. After a few exchanges the bird took the rolled up letter and flew off into the horizon. After you closed the window and drew back the curtains you turned towards the blond

“Your Grace, the spell that I put on you is about to wear off.”

It took you a couple of moments to remember the spell that hides your divine presence from anyone and especially your doppelgänger, you didn’t realize how long it has been and to be honest really impressed at the duration of the spell

“Okay, do what you need to do.” You said standing in front of the prince

Aether’s hand began to glow in the deep blues and purples of the abyss, he brought his hand to your head and instantly you feel something covering your entire body in manner similar to a blanket. After Aether brought his hand down from your head you looked at your hand to see the cool colors slowly fade away, you turned towards the twin

“How long does this spell last?” You asked

“It only lasts for a about a couple of weeks, I would saw at most 3 weeks.” Aether replied

“Is there a way for me to learn the spell so I don’t have to bother you every time the spell is about to wear off.”

“Oh, you can never bother me, your Grace. And I like doing it for you.” You saw a subtle blush creep on the young prince’s features

He’s so babygirl!

You almost hugged him but was stopped when your attention was diverted towards the door opening. There you see Diluc in the doorframe

“Your Grace, the ship is almost here. Let’s get you settled in your crates.”

You and Aether followed the redhead down to the cellar, there you see Lumine, Paimon, Childe, and Kaeya waiting for you. You also see 4 crates, all have cushioning. Diluc leads you to one that has the most padding

“Here is your crate, your Grace.” Diluc lead you to a crate that had a lot of cushioning

“Hey, why does my crate have less padding than theirs?” Childe asked leaning in to take a look at his crate which does have a lot less padding compared to yours even less than the twins

“I ran out of padding, Harbinger.” Diluc hissed out

“Diluc, don’t be like that!” You scolded the redhead before turning towards the ginger. “My crate has a lot of padding, I’ll give you some of mine.” You said, but before you can take some of the cushioning out you hear Diluc clear his throat

“I just remembered there might be some more upstairs!” Diluc urged before he went up the steps

You heard Kaeya chuckle and you turned your head towards the Cavalry Captain

“Sorry about my brother, he has a rocky history with your organization.” He opened his good eye and looked at the harbinger. “I don’t blame him, considering what happened with-”

“Kaeya!” You warned the blue haired man. “I don’t have to tell you to be civil with each other!”

Kaeya raised up his hands in defeat. “I understand, your Grace.”

Diluc finally comes down with cushioning that doesn’t look has pristine as the cushions in yours and the twins crates

“Good the both of you are here. So I don’t have to repeat myself, we all have a common goal in defeating the imposter. If we bicker about past grievances we will get nowhere and worse my doppelgänger might get their hands on me.” You advised

“You’re right, your Grace. I will do my best to be as civil with these people.” Diluc said, his disgust evident on his face, but you take what you can

You look at Kaeya to see him nodding in agreement with his brother

“Bwah, it’s so scary that their Grace can be super intimidating on a whim.” Paimon said as she hid behind Lumine

“I don’t mean to scary, I just don’t want infighting!”

“Their Grace is right, we all have an enemy that has all of Teyvat and the archons under their control. If we lose focus then we risk the possibility of that imposter capturing their Grace again!” Lumine said as she crossed her arms

Childe walks towards his crate before turning towards Diluc. “If you’re still raw about what happened, we can fight after all this blows over.” Childe said and then he entered his crate with the new cushioning in it

You and the twins enter your crates and you watch as Diluc secured the top to your crate, leaving you in total darkness

“Safe travels your Grace.” Diluc said

Taglist:

@chuuya-brainrot @creation-magician @tartarsaucechi1de @vvyeislazzy @aludicpoet @undecidingfate @annoying-mary @randomnatics @bore2808 @esthelily @yurivision @angelamelamela @chocolatekuns @ghost-mint @mmmhyperfixation @legendaryexperthideout @lapinaenmicoche @sinsdumbdrabble @rebeccawinters @imyme20 @nymphsdomain @sun7lowxr @blackcoffex @itz-luna @flowerpesky @land-of-eternity @deathcvltcivilofficial @d4y-dr3am3r @yuriclouds @artwitch @mercy-not-merci @xyaxyn @starxvs @dreamoffireflies06 @desirabletravel @bidisasterforevermore @dxprived4-starboys @angstylittleb1tch @lhaol

[vm-haunts]

Crossover Headcanons: Worldbuilding Edition

A collection of DPxDC headcanons from myself and various posts, in no particular order.

Green stuff

Dionesium is, or is one of the main decay byproduct of, ectoplasm. It is the defining element in Lazarus water.

Lazarus water is a naturally occurring compound that amplifies certain effects of ectoplasm. Concentration of ectoplasm in the waters is surprisingly low despite the appearance.

College trio as the Doctor Three. Who lead the study on dionesium in Gotham University at some point.

Talons created by the Court of Owls are a special type of liminals, and communicates within themselves via a dialect of ghost speak.

Realms stuff

Infinite realms, or pockets within it, had been observed and accessed before, by different civilizations under numerous different names.

The Kryptonians used the realms as a means of banishment, which they called the phantom zone.

GIW stuff

GIW is operating under All Purpose Enforcement Squad (APES), headquarters in mount Rushmore.

Anti-ecto Acts is a set of old laws dating back to civil war era, only brought back into practice in recent years.

Liminals have significantly higher chance of activating metagene. May or may not be causing the metagene mutation in the first place.

Anti-ecto Acts might be intentionally exploited as a backdoor to meta protection acts.

Ring stuff

Pariah Dark's ring of rage turned into the phantom ring after Danny officially claimed it. It enhances all emotions of the owner equally.

Danny lost his ring at some point and it became known to the lanterns as the phantom ring.

In the hands of realm ghosts the phantom ring glows green regardless of the emotion it is enhancing, as ghosts are beings of pure will. Otherwise it is black with a faint white glow. (Can't believe this one matches up, I love lore stitching)

Balance stuff

Danny bears both Life Force and Death Force in equal amounts. His only way to accessing them is channelling a mixture of the two to power his ghost wail.

Ghost Wail infused with both acts like a simple sonic attack. But if powdered only by death force it's functionally the same thing as Void Wind, which 'negates the power and immortality of the gods. Enabling it to shut down any form of arcana used against it'.

Dark Danny only process death force as he no longer have a human side for balance. His death infused wail could be how he destroyed the world without much interference from magic users.

Danny's Wail can be infused with only life force instead, which would eviscerate ghosts. Possibly only possible when he is in human form.

Glitchy stuff (not really DC related)

Dark Danny's attack on Clockwork's tower created some pretty severe glitchs in time (ha) across all of the living realms.

As the clocktower take damage some universes collapsed together, and some timelines became contradictory and paradoxical (typical comic reboot am I right?😅)

After Dan finally calmed down he becomes the ultimate errand boy for clockwork. Showing up an fixing things he broke under the guidance of the ghost of Time.

Stranger stuff

Dan got sentenced to Life (literal) in an alternate ending of glitch in time, which capped his destruction and eventually calmed him off.

Reformed Dan is doing social services as penance, in the DC multiverse he goes by the alias of Phantom Stranger.

[mysticode54]

ICO's Japanese Manual Translated Into English

Earlier this year, I began the task of translating the Japanese Manual for ICO which, to my knowledge, no one has attempted before. I covered pages 4 through 22 of the original PS2 manual and blocked the text appropriately to match the original manual's structure. Ideally, you should be able to line it up against the real manual and know which paragraphs provide what information. When I last touched this project, I wasn't wholly satisfied with the presentation but I have to accept that I was being a bit too ambitious about it. I certainly didn't have the energy to fill all the gaps with recreations of the original manual sketches, like I initially wanted. Here is my transcript of the original Japanese text (alongside transcripts of the English manuals): https://icoshrine.neocities.org/manual_transcripts#Japan%20PS2 The goal of my translation was to remain as faithful to the original wording as possible, changing things only for the sake of clarity, and the flow of the sentences. I acknowledge my translation is subject to critique. I am a novice when it comes to Japanese translation, though I did my best, revised the draft several times, and consulted someone more experienced with the language for feedback. Beneath the cut are some personal thoughts and theories regarding the various versions of this game manual.

Those paying attention to ICO's lore might notice there are some stark differences to how the Japanese manual and English manuals (both NTSC-U and PAL) present the story. The English manuals give us many additional details about the people of Ico's village and the nature of his curse:

"Ico's nightmare started the day he drew his first breath. In his village, the birth of a normal child is a source of happiness and relief. Proud fathers show off their new offspring, reassuring themselves and others that this time, the curse has not left its mark. But some births bring suspicion and fear. Once in every generation, the curse arrives with the birth of a special child born with tiny horns jutting from his head. With word of a cursed birth, fear leaps from person to person like a plague. The whole village settles into a state of quiet, suspicious panic. Any misfortune that befalls the village is blamed on the child with horns. If a crop fails or an illness strikes, he is blamed. Everyone wishes for the day of the sacrifice and the return to good fortune." - Page 5, ICO NTSC-U Manual

The Japanese manual, meanwhile, speaks as little on the matter as possible:

"Ico had horns.  Ico was the only one in the village with horns. When a child is born with horns, it is the tradition of the village to offer the child as a human sacrifice to a vacant Castle that towers over the sea. This year, Ico was to be brought to that Castle." - Page 4, ICO Japanese Manual

The narrative has been put into such succinct terms that no details about the village, or Ico's parents, can really be extrapolated. It doesn't even mention that horned children are born once every generation, which I thought to be a critical factor of ICO's worldbuilding. This manual also keeps quiet about Yorda's name, only indirectly mentions The Queen, and doesn't provide any insight into either of their powers. It treats these elements as reveals you should uncover yourself as you work through the game. As opposed to the English manuals which fill you in on everything, leaving little to no surprise aside from the final stretch of the game. Another minor alteration: Ico is labelled as 13, rather than 12. I doubt that was a mistake however, because we can see from the credits of this manual that Kei Kuwabara (桑原 慶) was responsible for the text (文). Kuwabara was a Planner for the game (alongside Junichi Hosono and Tsutomu Kouno), and he's come to be known as the man primarily responsible for creating the hieroglyphs that make up Yorda's Runic Language. ----- This manual was written by a member of Team ICO itself, so why does it differ so much from the English manuals? Who actually wrote the English manuals? I have a theory regarding this: The English manuals may have been based upon an old game design pitch document, produced and sent to Sony around the time of game's transition from PS1 to PS2. I believe this because both English manuals make reference to a confrontation at the East and West Arenas (collectively referred to as "Symmetry" in the manuals) that never plays out in the final game.

"Symmetry is really two sides of the same riddle, one left and one right. You will confront the other side later in your quest. [...] Take great care in this place, for another cage awaits, and a hidden enemy is about to reveal herself." - Page 19, ICO PAL Manual

"Symmetry is really two sides of the same riddle, one left and one right. Ico will confront the other side later. [...] Another cage awaits and the Queen prepares to take a personal role in stopping the escape." - Page 26, ICO NTSC-U Manual

In the early PS2 storyboards for ICO, there were two scenes of The Queen intervening at East and West Arena. These cutscenes were part of ICO's original script, which was reduced significantly at some point during development, likely before January 2001. So why would these concepts be found in the manuals if they were cut at least a year before publishing? How did this happen? We know for a fact that Team ICO released the game to North America first, albeit in a state they weren't satisfied with. It was clear they had been pressured by the American market to release the game far sooner than they wanted. During the months of July, August, and September 2001, they were likely putting their all into finalizing the version of the game that would ship overseas. This left them no time to handle the packaging themselves, so they left it to Sony, who in turn hired Beeline to design the game's US box art and manual. Reflecting on this, I don't think its a stretch to suggest that Sony was also left with the responsibility of what text to provide Beeline for the US manual. But, seeing as they did not know ICO as well as the team creating it, Sony picked up an old pitch document made by that team, translated it to English, and handed it off to Beeline for printing. This would explain a few things.

The wordiness of the US manual's backstory would be a reflection of the original script's wordiness and willingness to hint at lore that the final game would leave to the imagination.

Ico's age would change from 12 to 13 over the course of development, as a minor tweak the developers decided on after their initial pitch.

The detailed descriptions of enemies in the English manuals give misleading information, including the claim that Shadow Sentries can create 'protective shields' around themselves. In the final game, they functionally accomplish this by ducking under attacks, but there's no indication of visible force fields. Thus, this could be another scrapped concept.

When localizing for the PAL region, I imagine Sony either handed the same Japanese pitch document over to be re-translated, or the PAL packaging team decided to copy the text of the US manual while changing the wording. TL;DR: The English manuals may actually be based on an older iteration of the game's storyline. All extra information gained from English manuals were likely not meant to be revealed to players. Whether you consider this information "canonical" is up to you. The Japanese manual seems to be the only one written around the time of the game's (December 6th) publishing, and is what Team ICO likely wanted to present to players of the game.

[getvalentined]

Differentiating the "Black Robes"

For folks who didn't catch it on their own playthrough or (or watch-through) of FF7 Rebirth, here's a quick breakdown of the apparent nature of the people in black robes seen throughout both this game, and previously in Remake.

This differs from OG canon, where everyone in a black robe was a Sephiroth Copy, but in the FF7R timeline they appear to be broken into three "types."

SPOILERS BELOW — READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

NO NUMBER TATTOO means this is a G-type SOLDIER suffering from degradation. These people are terminally ill. Degradation sets in within five years of enhancement [see Note 1 below], and accelerates very quickly without aggressive treatment.

Known G-type SOLDIERs: Roche, Azul, Rosso, and Shelke Rui. Population: over 100.

A ONE- OR TWO-DIGIT NUMBER TATTOO indicates S-type SOLDIERs in the throes of Reunion. These people are not terminally ill, based on dev comments confirming that S-type SOLDIERs don't degrade, but they have a cellular leash that is being constantly yanked on by Sephiroth/Jenova. Without Reunion taking place, most of them would presumably live long, fairly healthy lives. [See Note 2 below.]

Known S-type SOLDIERs: Zack Fair, Kunsel, Luxiere, and Broden. Population: presumed fewer than 100.

A TATTOO STARTING WITH "SC" confirms these people are successful Sephiroth Copies. Failures do not receive a tattoo. They may or may not be terminally ill, contingent upon which type of SOLDIER they were prior to the procedure to make them into a Copy, and the leash on their own cellular makeup is much stricter, much more direct, and gives them a clearer concept of where to go and what to do.

Known Sephiroth Copies: Roche (successful), Zack Fair (declared failure), and Cloud Strife (declared failure). Population: 4 subjects in total, plus 2 known failures.

Tattoos don't seem to be applied at the time of enhancement, since none of the SOLDIERs in Crisis Core have them, but it's possible that early inductees like Broden were marked when they survived the treatments; this seems likely, as Broden's tattoo is in a slightly different typeface than the tattoos of others in his "type."

I didn't include Sephiroth, Genesis or Angeal under known members of their given types, as they were never normal humans and were not enhanced using one method or the other as teens or young adults. Those who are Jenova babies from birth don't count. I also didn't include two members of DeepGround due to the fact that they canonically cannot actually be G-type SOLDIERs based on the lore of how the two of them were made and how they function in general; they may be G-type on paper, but they are not G-type for the purposes of this analysis.

Lastly, I'll admit that this breakdown may appear to be slightly inconsistent during gameplay, but this seems to be due only to the reuse of models between black robed individuals, presumably to take stress off the dev team. I'm fine with this, obviously, no crunch is good crunch. As far as I can tell it's pretty consistent in full cutscenes, though, so I'm sticking with it until the third game proves me wrong.

—

NOTE 1: The timeframe for degradation is based on Roche suffering from the condition prior to his becoming a Sephiroth Copy, which is visible in the fact that he has a handful of incongruously pale streaks through his hair prior to the procedure; an attempt to cure this is presumably the reason he volunteered to work with Hojo in the first place.

According to the Remake Ultimania, Roche joined SOLDIER after the Nibelheim Incident, so he's only been in the program for five years at the most; this timeframe also allows us to recognize S-type SOLDIERs, as they've been in the program for significantly longer with no known ill effects (e.g.: Kunsel has been in the program since at least 2000, but is mentioned by name and indicated to be at headquarters in Remake, showing that he's still on active duty in 0007; this wouldn't be the case if he were suffering from degradation, so he can't be a G-type.)

NOTE 2: The capacity of S-type SOLDIERs to live fairly normal lives with minimal major health issues is proven by the existence of Broden, who identifies himself as a SOLDIER but was certainly part of Project 0; he and Mildred left home as teenagers and wound up with Shinra, but Mildred doesn't know the name of the project into which he was conscripted, only that it was "top secret."

Combined with the apparent age of both characters in-game, this indicates that Broden took part in the project before SOLDIER was even SOLDIER, putting him as one of its earliest successful operatives, probably enhanced sometime between 1983 and 1985 based on the timeline provided in the First SOLDIER Battle Royale opening cutscene—hence why his number is the lowest shown on a person in a black robe in the entire game. This puts him in his forties at the youngest during the Crisis, and he functions just fine (albeit with some other issues we can assume were caused by the enhancement procedure being imperfect at the time of his enlistment) until Reunion starts to call him toward the end of 0007.

[monstersdownthepath]

Still reading through Divine Mysteries and while I've greatly enjoyed 99% of what I've read so far, there's a few bits that make me frown.

Perhaps one of my biggest disappointments is:

Aonaurious, a Qlippoth Lord* introduced way back in 1st edition's Bestiary 6 as a footnote among the existing Qlippoth Lords who were actually getting stats, alongside Yamasoth (who was given stats in another book) and Shiggarreb (who was never given stats, but who got a Divine Obedience). He had the intriguing epithet of "the Enigma Clot," invoking the imagery of some malefic hair clog or perhaps a constricting fungus, in either case fitting in alongside the grotesqueries of both the other Qlippoth Lords and the qlippoth in general.

Absolutely nothing about Aonaurious was known but his name and his title for the longest time, and though Shiggarreb received some additional development in the Complete Book of the Damned which came out months later, the Enigma Clot was left to languish for 8 entire years and a whole edition shift before finally appearing in Divine Mysteries as... a giant praying mantis.

Not just a loss in terms of what the Enigma Clot could have been, but he also seems to have completely supplanted Shiggarreb, being a warmongering beast hellbent on slaughtering literally anything and everything he sees without pause or tire, exactly as the Marauding Maw/Warmonger Queen was once stated to do. Fair enough, all things considered, especially since with Shiggarreb being gone, we get a more unique Qlippoth Lord named Nyuo-Ogh the Always-Observing... but this also means that poor Aonaurious stands out like a sore thumb among his demigod kin, as his current lore as it is has him lacking any form of parasitic aspects, a mainstay among qlippoth as a whole and incredibly pronounced in the existing Qlippoth Lords. He instead represents a relentless hyper-predator, something that already has representation in the forms of existing lords Chavazvug and Thuskchoon (each of which also embody parasitism in different ways).

All this being said, I don't hate Aonaurious, and I do like the threat he presents as "the predator that kills far more than it could ever possibly eat and chases down prey that could not possibly be worth the effort of getting at," but I feel like such a plain appearance is a waste of a fascinatingly evocative title and a sad miss in terms of fitting in thematically with the rest of the lords.

Nyuo-Ogh is a fantastic addition to the Parasite Pantheon, though, I'll say that. Shiggarreb wasn't exactly a good fit herself, so I do not mourn her.

Edit: Reading his physical description more closely (Divine Mysteries, pg. 226) makes him sound more like a monstrously enormous and clawed house centipede, and if ANY creature could be called an "Enigma Clot" it would be a gigantic house centipede! I'm going to treat him like he's one of those.

[bed-buggier]

Game Theory About Who Professor Victoria is

This evening, we just recieved one final TailsTube to close out the year, and within this episode was a cameo from a character many have speculated on for over a year now, and I believe this piece of the puzzle will help us solve SEGA's game of Where's Waldo

Professor Victoria

Or just Tori, has been a thorn in the community's side since 2022, where she first appeared in the official social media series, Tailstube, alongside various humans from Sonic Unleashed. Since then, she's made a cameo in the 3rd Sonic Movie and tonights episode. Many were quick to believe she had ties to the then upcoming Sonic Frontiers and its new addition to the cast, Sage, but this wouldn't be the case.

Her Many Appearances

Examining her first appearance, she's depicted not in the Sonic Unleashed style, but rather Yuji Uekawa's artstyle (note her smaller head and overall lack of western stylization). This style is so rarely used nowadays, instead Sonic Team opting to use their 3D models and on this rare occassion, it's only in merchandise. Why would SEGA randomly revive it for a random addition like this?

Her next appearance would be in the 3rd Sonic movie, showing up during Team Sonic's initial encounter with Shadow. This would both be the first time we saw the name Victoria associated with her, and act as a teaser for tonights TailsTube.

What's also worth noting is this is the 2nd time the films have acknowledged TailsTube, with movie Tails' desktop being pulled straight from the series. Clearly whatever they have planned for her expands outside the Sonic games.

and then there's today with the release of TailsTube #10, solidifying her as Prof. Tori: Historian and author, 2 aspects of her character that combined with the nugget of lore Shadow Generations gave us, has lead to me forming my crack theory of the evening.

Taped on the back of the cover to Gerald's Journal is a note left by someone simply known as T. Who is T? A new character? A returning Topaz from Sonic X? No.

It's Tori.

The Actual Theories

so, we now know Professor Victoria is a historian/author who may have or had connections to GUN, collecting material for past projects such as the Space Colony Ark and Project Shadow, depicted both in a artstyle SEGA doesn't often use and within the Sonic Movies, having some notoriaty to be on billboards. From my findings, I've boiled it down to three possibilities of when we could see her finally debut.

1. GUN member/Team Dark's Coordinators/Robotnik(?)

This seems like the most logical, with GUN having a resurgance in Sonic 3 and Shadow Gens. We also don't know what's up with GUN after the Eggman wars in Sonic Forces, where they went under following the doctors takeover.

Perhaps with Sonic Frontiers' successor, we'll see the remains of GUN researching the Starfall Islands with Team Dark leading a exhibition. It could be a way to explain what ties the Black Arms could have to the ancients that led to Shadow visiting Chaos Island, AND many have speculated that she just might be a Robotnik, particularly, Maria's little sister alluded to in Gerald's Journal, bringing it all full circle.

That said, we have yet to see much of any continuity in the games, and it's a element in Sonic's greater storytelling I'm not sure SEGA would integrate now when isolated adventures have been the series' bread and butter for years, give or take a small nod to the fans. Why mess with success knowing any game could be someone's first?

2. Remake/Remaster Side Campaign

This one I have little faith in, but there's a slim chance. We now know SEGA isn't against adding new story content to re-releases of Sonic games with Shadow Gens, so perhaps Tori will get her start in a new campaign?

Perhaps she was a author studying the mythology of Sonic's world before GUN, residing at Spagonia University with Professor Pickle, someone we saw in that TailsTube art collection. That then raises the question though: Why go through this much trouble for a simple port of a Xbox360 game? Putting her in movies and setting expectations this high? It doesn't make sense, but that's where my main theory comes into play.

3. Sonic Lorebook

Call me crazy, a schizo, desparate for answers, whatever, but I'm fairly confident SEGA's apology for the Sonic Encylcospeedia may come very soon.

For those unfamiliar, in 2021, SEGA released a encyclopedia for the Sonic series. What many hoped would be a answer to all the continuity errors over the years and a clear outline of the SEGASonic universe turned out to be just a booklet of game facts, modded screencaps of Sonic 06, and offhand lore tidbits like Infinite being dead and Marine possibly having hydrokinesis, something I'm sure we'll see explored soon big trust.

The release of this book left many with more questions than answers, but I think it and Sonic Frontiers are the first in a major domino effect.

With Frontiers, we saw its writer, Ian Flynn, go a little wild with callbacks to previous Sonic games. While one may see this as leaniance on SEGA's end with the game initially set to launch that same year for the series' 30th anniversary or Ian Flynn being Ian Flynn, I see both as the early groundwork for reinstating of the Sonic continuity. Combine that with what we know of Tori, the establishment of a lore management team in 2022 (who just recieved a artist with Evan Stanley), alongside relaunching Sonic Gens which explored the series' history with DLC that gives us the most overt crossover of the game universe to the movies, and you have a recipe for a broader audiences entry to one hell of a history.

I believe within the game universe, Professor Victoria will be a well known historian, researching gods and anomolies within throughout the galaxy and multiverset. Meanwhile for us, she'll be the mascot of the IRL Sonic the Hedgehog Lore Management Team, and will be our guide for the long awaited true encyclopedia of the Sonic the Hedgehog series; Every character, every historical event, every world. All explained and outlined for a general audience and fans consumption.

or I've gone mad because I still don't have a snug placement in my timeline for Team Sonic Racing idk

[superbfirnacho]

more pirates and sirens au!!

(send me asks if you want to ask questions about the au/specific detail)!

here are some character profiles, it includes their preferences, hobbies.

Nightmare

He holds a deep vengeance and hate toward everything, mostly sirens, because he believe they killed his mother.

Nightmare consumed the apple of negativity and, as he aged, he gained the funds to purchase a ship which he named the Black Crescent.

His goal is to cause chaos and hunt as many sirens as he possibly can. He can be cruel, cold, calm, manipulative when needed, and intelligent. He has also been known to have a massive ego and take great pride in what he does.

Hobbies:

Reading, he has a treasured collection of rare novels in his quarters.

Drawing, (Creds to @llamagoddessofficial for this idea) he tends to make sketches and absentminded doodles in his notebook.

Studying maps, he enjoys navigating maps to explore places he and his crew have never been before.

Killer

Killer was a land dweller that was placed under the control of a siren for many years. The siren in question forced him to commit horrible acts. After many years of this, he was driven to insanity and in a fit of rage, he killed his captor.

the mental scarring of what he went through stay with him now, and he has been known to be the most unhinged of the group.

he harbours a deep hatred of sirens, deeper then Nightmares, and joined Nightmares crew in order to assist him in eradicating them. He tends to act teasing, playful, and cheery to those at first appearance, but is secretly cunning and cold.

Hobbies:

Sharpening his knives, can’t cut up a siren good without them being sharp.

Fixing up the ship, despite the task being considered mundane and dull by most, killer find some sort of joy and fixing what was once broken.

Pranking the other crew mates, he believe there no harm in the occasional bucket of soapy water landing on someone’s head.

Horror

Horror is a land dweller that went insane after the queen of his country sentenced him to death for not providing them magical assistance, during his escape, he suffered extreme head trauma and suffers from memory lose, bouts of violence and hysteria.

He’s lost nearly his entire moral code and after starving in hiding for many years, he resorted to cannibalism to survive,

Nightmare offered his solace on his crew, promising all the food he could eat, the food being the flesh of murdered sirens, or anyone they kill. Horror can seem a lost cause to some, but he secretly craves the attention and affection he once had long ago…

Hobbies:

Cooking, he might as well make the flesh of sirens taste decently good. Him and Nightmare cook together sometimes.

Fighting, it helps him get rid of pent up emotions.

Dust

Dust is a land dweller that’s small island was taken over by a single siren.

the siren was so powerful, no one was able to death it, time after time again. So dust took it upon himself kill this siren, training day after day. Until he was so injured from fighting siren, and failing, something in him broke.

People still aren’t sure whether it was siren controlling him or just insanity. But dust went on a killing spee, murdering every single person on his island, including his one brother. And then ended the sirens life.

Dust is a very quiet individual. Some say he still sees his dead brother plagued by the guilt of his actions. Dust will rarely show emotion, and can sometimes be heard talking to himself when he’s alone.

Hobbies:

???

(find the og lore here)

[val-of-the-north]

Potential Ensha info from the DLC

Me and @katyspersonal were hoping for more potential lore on Ensha, surprisingly enough... and we might have actually got our wish somehow. Let's take a look at the description of Ensha's bones for a second, as well as their properties...

While they don't look it at first glance, the description specifies the bones are "golden", and they can replenish HP when it's reduced. Gold and healing go hand-in-hand in Elden Ring's setting, so this propriety makes sense by considering the golden nature of the remains.

This description alone doesn't tell us much however. It describes the remains as belonging to an ancient lord named Ensha who is currently known as a soulless king. However, Shadow of the Erdtree might give us more hints about who he was prior to becoming an elaborate set of armor.

In the Lands of Shadow we can come across a very rare crafting material, mostly found around Scadu Altus and in the Shadow Keep and Fort of Reprimand. It is also held by the various Black Knights found around the world. This material is the Blessed Bone Shard.

These blessed bones shine gold with the blessing of the Scadutree, and can be used to craft many interesting items, including Festive Grease, Golden Vows (the tool, not the incantation), and Sunwarmth Stones. Two out of three of these items are directly aligned with the Golden Order (though the Festive Grease is likely part of the Shaman tradition which Marika made sure to somehow preserve), and one of them is directly tied to HP regeneration, the same passive power as Ensha's bones.

Since the other ingredients needed to craft it are a Spiritgrave Stone and a Black Pyrefly, neither connected to healing, I assume that part of the power comes from the blessed bones.

If this is the case, could it mean that the ancient lord Ensha participated in the Crusade as a warrior on the side of the Erdtree prior to his death? And that his bones were blessed because of his great service, as it was "the greatest honor that can be granted to the dead" after all. Him being some sort of lord or king might have also allowed his remains to be brought back to the Lands Between for a proper burial, or maybe even to craft this armor as a means to immortalize him. If so, his death must have been prior to the Lands of Shadow being hidden away by Marika.

Now, one could still question why Ensha's bones aren't as shiny as these shards are, but perhaps his blessing has faded with time. After all, the potency of the blessed bones we pick up is much greater than that of his armor, offering continuous healing to everyone nearby as opposed to just when our health gets low.

I think Ensha himself might have rested peacefully for years until after the Night of the Black Knives or the Shattering, which led to the rise of Those Who Live in Death through Deathroot. There is a possibility he himself is part of them, especially with the way he is described.

He is soulless, which has a deep connection to both Godwyn and other perished Demigods of the Night of the Black Knives. There seems to be a connection between death, undeath and the lack of a soul, strengthening the connection between Ensha and the undead.

He is further described as the king of the "lost and desperate", which seems to harken back to how Fia describes Those Who Live in Death as "the meek, and the many".

The connection seems slightly more obvious, as in Japanese she refers to them as "the weak" (弱き者) and she describes herself as their "guardian/protector" (庇護者). Meanwhile, Ensha is the King of those who "cling to/depend on" him (縋り付く) which seems to hold similar connotations of a weaker group of people needing a stronger figure for protection. In that case, Ensha might have been a surrogate king of sorts, but clearly not good enough to truly become their lord, a title fully reserved for the godly flesh of Godwyn. Or maybe, just like Fia, he was simply a self-appointed protector for them and had no higher aims.

The way in which he operates is still quite a mystery though. The man who wears the armor is also named Ensha, just like this ancient lord, so unless he is simply cosplaying him, there might be something deeper going on...

The DLC also introduced an interesting NPC enemy: Rakshasa. Named after a demon, the description of her armor makes a peculiar comment about following a certain path to "become" Rakshasa itself, hinting that the woman we just beat was just one embodiment of it.

Now, Ensha would be a bit different, but what if he also worked in a similar manner? As in, those who wear his remains become him by extension. But in that case, why would this king follow Gideon Ofnir? Is it because of his desire to reach the Haligtree? Perhaps he wants to confront Miquella since in his kindness he seems to have forsaken Those Who Live in Death, and if the Golden Epitaph is to be believed, agrees and maybe even endorses their destruction.

The vow of peace of the Roundtable Hold might be why someone like D doesn't strike him down on the spot. Or maybe hiding as a simple suit of armor proves to be quite effective in avoiding detection from the hunters of his kind.

[try02line]

TOH UNPOPULAR TAKE: CALEB WITTEBANE: Evelyn his love, Philip his joy

Essentially a personal interpretation of the Wittebane lore from Caleb perspective with him being a much more grey character of dubious/grey morality (+ him being kind of delusional)

———————————————————————————————————————

Imagine this- Caleb meets Evelyn, a gorgeous, witty and vibrant witch. Despite everything he has been taught all his life, he likes her- no, screw that, he loves her. It takes time of course, but their love is genuine and deep, they complete each other, and their relationship flourishes fast and sweet. She is a breath of fresh air in Caleb’s life, she shows him things he had never thought possible, she shows him a world that is new and exciting and free, so strikingly different from the stark harsh rules and unsaid protocols of Gravesfield.

The small hushed conversations in the forest, the secret kisses and small escapades are soon not enough for either. They crave for more, but they know they cannot have it in the human realm, so Evelyn leads her friend and lover through a portal and to her home.

Caleb’s visits to the Boiling Isles are brief and hesitant affairs at first, albeit his curiosity, it still takes time for him to get used to such strange, terrifying yet fascinating world. But with time he grows bolder and more confidente. They don’t have to hide their love there, they are free. Free to hold hands and dance together, free to laugh and cry, free to explore and love for hours to no end.

And just like that, the once rare brief escapades become an ever more common occurrence, until they become a nearly daily matter. And not only that, but the time he spends there grows exponentially. If at first it was just a few minutes, soon he spends there hours, even days.

Until one day, he doesn’t come back from that portal.

Being in the Boiling Isles with Evelyn is intoxicating, nearly addictive. He is free, he is happy, he feels alive. Time flies by like butterflies, at the constant rhythm of their enamored hearts, inexorable and yet unnoticed. Caleb thinks he’d like to stay there forever, spend the rest of his days in this apparent perfect pure bliss.

But he cannot.

Because he doesn’t belong.

The Boiling Isles are beautiful and Evelyn’s family and friends always do their best to make him feel part of this- of everything; and he appreciates that, truly, they are far kinder to him than what he deserves, than what he’ll ever be able to to express and give back.

But it isn’t enough.

Deep down, Caleb knows he doesn’t belong here, just like he didn’t belong in Gravesfield when he arrived all those years before. No one but a poor homeless orphan, with nothing to his name but his father’s blue coat and his little brother at his side.

He doesn’t belong there, and he accepts it. He smiles his worries away, and simply tries to make the most out of this, trying to enjoy this sweet little dream, knowing it will not last forever.

He has to go back after all, he knows, he has always known.

That was why when he followed Evelyn thru that portal, he left all his most priced possessions behind.

His blue coat.

His carving knife.

His little brother.

Oh his little brother. His joy and his duty. The only thing his poor mother had left to remind him of her. Of her blue eyes, of her dark hair, of her witty comments- Philip had inherited all of that and more.

Caleb missed him dearly, of course he did.

He had spent his own childhood and adolescence raising him. He had taught him everything he knew. He had comforted him from his nightmares. He had taken any and every back breaking job under the sun to make sure he wouldn’t go hungry. He had stolen medicines when he was sick. He had taken his punishments and blames when he had messed up. He had haunted an hanged innocent and sinful women alike so they could fit in.

It had been a hard life, and yet, it had always seemed worth it when he would come back to their small home in the woods at the end of the day, sweaty and exhausted, and his little brother would be waiting for him sat on the small porch of their cabin. Every day he would do that, with no fail. Whether it was hot or cold, whether it was sunny or raining or snowing, whether it was early or late, whether they had argued or not. He was always there, each single time, awaiting for his return.

And Caleb would feel at home.

Maybe that was why, regardless of all the precious memories they shared in there, of all the small trinkets and moments and love they had filled it with it, Caleb had never been able to truly feel the house him and Evelyn shared as anything more than that … a house, never a home, or never a complete one at least.

There would always be something, someone missing to him, an emptiness in his heart. Something no friend, nor pet, nor palisman, nor the prospect of a baby could make up for- even if he loved each of them more than life itself.

Not even his Evelyn. Oh, how he loved her. But he also loved Philip.

And in his sinful human greed, Caleb prayed at night he could have both.

Evelyn’s free hypnotizing smile, Philip’s mischevious adoring eyes.

Wouldn’t it be beautiful? To go on adventures in the forest with his little brother during the day, and to dance around the fire with his lover at night. He didn’t think he’d need anything more, anyone else, to be truly happy. For how blasphemous it was to ponder such thought, he didn’t think anything their lord in heaven could offer him would ever be as joyful and sweet as that.

But it was impossible, nothing more than wishful thinking, a greedy fantasy.

For that to be possible, he’d have to either bring Philip to the Boiling Isles or Evelyn to the human realm, and both prospects were nothing but cruel, even if there was any chance of either accepting. He couldn’t do that to either, he loved them both too much for that.

How could he ask his lover to leave her home, her friends and family behind? How could he ask her vibrant and free Evelyn to strip herself of what made her her, to spend the rest of her life in hiding, with the looming threat of someone finding out what she was and burning her at the stake for that? No, she was to remain free to fly around and spread her wings in all their glory. That was whom she was, untamed and rebellious, but also warm and reassuring, like fire. He would never even suggest anything that may deem that light, he loved her too much for that

But then, how would asking his little brother to leave the human realm any better? Philip, who had been forcefully dragged from his home once already, whom had always struggled so much to fit in, to find a purpose, a place in their stern and unforgiving community. How could he ask him to leave it all behind, when he had just started to thrive in it? To drag him to this dangerous hellish new land, to start from scratch with no guarantee on their future, not only making of him an outcast once more, but knowing that for him to have any chance to fit in, he would have to unlearn and go against all the morals and rules that everyone had taught him since he was a little child?

That Caleb had taught him?

Oh … Maybe that was the real issue, wasn’t it? Maybe there was nothing selfless nor loving about his worries. Maybe the reason why he didn’t bring Philip along with him was far from merely not wishing to cause him harm.

Maybe the truth was that he was too prideful to let his little brother know he had been wrong. And not about something small and insignificant, but that all his life he had been wrong.

To admit that to Philip, who always looked up to him as if he could do or say no wrong, as if he was special. Him- special! What a joke! Caleb Wittebane, a poor orphan with little education and nothing to his name. A nobody, who had to scrap the bottom of the barrel each and every day just to make enough to eat. And yet … and yet Philip had always looked up at him as if he held the whole world in his hands.

Expecting of him to always know the answer, to always know what to do- it was exhausting at times, sure, it felt like a cross on his shoulders for him to carry thru the years, but it was also so sinfully addictive, as he sipped the sweet reward from the top of his pedestal. To feel important, to feel indispensable, to feel respected. Pride was a sin, and yet one Caleb couldn’t stop indulging in, a forbidden fruit he never got tired off, regardless of the years that passed by. He was so ashamed of himself, but- oh how he relinquished in the pure naive adoration and admiration his little brother would shower him with.

Stronger than a knight. Smarter than a lawman. Higher than a priest.

That was how it made him feel, and to a nobody like him, it was everything.

Wouldn’t it be cruel, to tear that pristine perfect image from his little brother’s arms? To let him see, that the older brother he looked up so much to, was nothing, but a fraud? No, Philip had already so few certainties in his life, he couldn’t do that to him. It wouldn’t be fair. He was his duty after all, how could he cause him so much pain? What kind of older brother would he be, if he knowingly hurt him?

He had to go back. It didn’t matter how exciting the Boiling Isles were, how pleasant his life there was, how lovely Evelyn was- he did not belong there. His place was at Gravesfield, in a little cabin in the woods, with his little brother.

It was his destiny, it was his duty.

He had promised Philip he would never leave him after all, how could he call himself a good older brother and disappoint him so cruelly? He had to go back, and he soon would.

Or at least, that was what he told himself every morning when he woke up, and every night when he went to sleep. And yet- that was what it all was, just words, with little progress or action to actually follow them. Again, he was a fraud after all, ready to fool not only his loved ones, but also himself.

Caleb kept telling himself he had all the time in the world. And just like that, days, months and years passed by. And yet, he still told himself he had time, so it didn’t matter. Even when him and Evelyn got married, even when they moved to a bigger house, even when she told him she was expecting.

Caleb kept telling himself he could and would stop at any moment, he was just waiting for the right one. It wasn’t that much different from when him and Philip would play pretend in the woods. His younger brother often got so self absorbed in his little games and stories that he would loose track of time- yeah that must be it, he was simply enjoying his life and struggling to keep track of time. But it was fine, all games come to an end sooner or later, regardless of how fun they were or how painful it was to stop, and this one would to.

One day, soon enough, he would have the bravery to thank Evelyn for blessing him with her love, he was sure she would find someone else, someone better, someone who deserved to build a family with her. He would gather his stuff, and he would leave, and go back to his old life, to Philip.

Caleb never wondered what may have been of his little brother, while he was away, never even pondered such scenarios. He just told himself that Philip was a smart kid, and he would be fine while he was gone. In his mind, there was no doubt of that, just like there was no doubt he would eventually cross that portal, and go back to him.

In his mind, the younger boy would be waiting for him on the steps of their home, just like he always did, looking not one day older from when he had left him behind, still the little boy he had raised and loved. Maybe he’d be upset he took this long, just like when he did whenever Caleb had to work an extra hour in the fields, but in the end, he would forgive him, just like he always did. They would just pick up from where they had left, as if only a few days had passed by, maybe he would indulge him and play witch hunters in the forest just like when they were children. His little brother would forget all his sins and would smile up to him as if he was a great king rather than a fool, and everything would be fine.

Right?

————————————————————————————————————-

I always claim i want to explore a more grey-dark version of Caleb Wittebane (more or less within the canon), so here it is! Let me know what you think about it! Especially @barnowled

[inoreuct]

More weretiger Zoro thoughts bc I'm crazy abt it-

Before joining the crew, Zoros had a lot of bad experiences with ppl trying to kidnap/capture him, whether it be for his pelt or to keep as a pet or just to have as a spectacle. When bounty hunters come after the crew one day and somehow manage to cage him, it dredges up some bad memories. He fights the hunters off of course, hes stronger now, and has his friends by his side, but the encounter leaves him shaken. He tries to brush it off as nothing, stays in his tiger form so he has an excuse not to talk to anyone, but the crew can tell hes feeling uneasy, sulking around in the shadows, fur bristling at any loud noises or sudden movements. They hatch a plan, and lure him to the kitchen where its warmest, where theyve built a nest of pillows and blankets for everyone to curl up in together, and surrounded by his crew gently petting his fur Zoro feels a lot safer <3

ooh,,, weretiger zoro lore YES PLEASE 🤭 thank you for the ask anon!!

call it twisted, but zoro is used to running for his life. fighting for it. before everything (before safety, before them), people catching a glimpse of him could only mean three possible things: a leash, a cage, or a skinning knife. years of evading trappers and hunters and rich bastards who thought they could own him (dead or alive, they hadn’t really cared) had honed his survival instincts knife-sharp and taught him how to keep himself out of trouble. he’s ever only been in a cage once, and never again.

but he’s gotten lazy. his crew and the solace of their ship on the open sea— they had lulled him into a false sense of security. he’d let down his guard and now he’s looking out at the deck through metal bars with clammy palms and his throat tight, and it’s chaos.

there are bounty hunters fucking everywhere, like a swarm of roaches trying desperately to gain the upper hand; they had clearly overestimated themselves, based on the way his crew’s wiping the deck with them. a thrill of vindictive satisfaction threads through zoro even as a group of the bastards prod at him with bayonets and swords. that satisfaction only grows when he snaps at them, snarling and baring his fangs, but he can’t hide from the fear that pools underneath.

that, he isn’t quite so used to. fear is not something that roronoa zoro feels on a regular basis; he’d picked up his swords and turned himself into a weapon of a man, half out of necessity and half just for the way people pissed themselves just hearing his name. then it had been bar fights to duels to bigger bounties and then sudden safety, stability, Merry’s gentle rocking under his paws as he prowled the deck and then Sunny, afternoon warmth on his fur as he curled up on the grass to nap.

the roiling in his gut and the tension at the back of his neck is something zoro hasn’t known since he was very, very young, and weak, and alone.

he snarls again when the tip of a sword swipes a hairsbreadth under his chin, cursing himself for losing his focus as he backs up against the other side of the cage, resisting the urge to peek over his shoulder. the ocean rolls gently at his back; he can hear her, but it’s a small comfort. if he tips the entire cage into the water and fails to pick the lock, it would drag him down to a watery grave and he is not ready to die today. nami yells somewhere, her voice followed by a crack of thunder, and zoro bites down a manic laugh as he remembers her trying to teach him to lockpick and him being honestly quite dismal at it— not an option, then.

the cook had fared better at it, nimble fingers and all that. said cook goes flying past with his leg on fire and slams his heel into a bounty hunter’s face with a solid crunch. as zoro takes stock of the deck, everybody else is busy and that realisation doesn’t make him panic a little, it doesn’t. breathe, he reminds himself. they took his swords, but it doesn’t matter. he fights plenty well enough with his fists, not to mention the damage he can do in his other form.

one of the hunters bangs his rifle against the bars and zoro’s heart jumps, a shudder rippling down his spine as the man pspsps’s at him like— like he’s a fucking cat. “who would’ve thought,” he begins, laughing nastily. “roronoa zoro, the elusive green tiger. how’s it feel to be backed into a corner, hm?”

“all those years of stealing our bounties, taking all the money— don’t worry, now,” another sneers. “you’ll make it up to us when we get paid for the fur off your back.”

the disrespect makes him growl, deep in the back of his throat. he wants to rip off their heads. he wants to run away and hide. their cackles are loud and obnoxious, and the closer zoro looks the more he realises that he knows these guys. knows their faces, anyway, and he has those faces categorised in his head as nothing more than riffraff. he wraps his fingers around a bar discreetly by his hip, squeezing tight until he feels his claws extend, and cool metal presses into his back as his breathing comes quicker.

once before. he’d only felt this once before, icy against his too-thin fur, curled up in a trembling ball at the corner as jeers and the banging of metal on metal filled his ears. switching between boy and cub on instinct because he couldn’t control it with his heart pounding hard enough to hurt.

his gaze flicks around unseeing before he finds usopp, loosing rapid-fire shots of something that sends his targets into violent gasping fits, clawing at their throats before going still. the moment they lock eyes, zoro straightens; there’s a question there, a quiet moment of stillness as usopp holds his form, waiting. do you need us to come get you?

zoro steels himself, takes a breath and grits his jaw, and he shakes his head minutely. no.

a small nod, and that stillness shatters. usopp dives out of the way with his hands over his head and a startled yelp as luffy’s fist flies out of nowhere, and zoro sighs through his nose.

“not my fault i was just better than you,” he says, offhand and unbothered, tipping his head back against the bars as he surveys the hunters around him coolly. they react exactly as he expects; loud outrage and yelling and more clanging around, and he feels that urge to curl into a ball and hide shift into something more spiteful. more vicious.

it heats his blood as he notes the lock of the cage and nearly raises an eyebrow, because of course the whole damn thing’s made of reinforced metal except the latch. he’s seen enough of franky’s work to know shoddy workmanship— they skimped on quality because of the cost, probably because they’d planned to be dealing with a mindless beast and not a man. zoro huffs a laugh.

and sure, nami could try all she wanted to teach him how to pick a lock.

sometimes, though?

zoro inspects his space and backs up as much as he can. the cage is small, but it’s enough. he’ll make it work. metal scrapes against the taffrail as the ship rocks beneath their feet.

sometimes, old-fashioned’s just the way to go.

he crouches down, waits for one of franky’s cannon’s to draw the hunters’ collective attention, and pounces.

the door slams open as he rams it with his shoulder, cheap metal snapping like straw as he bursts onto the deck and fuck, the momentary standstill before the panicked scrambling starts feels electric. he shifts in an instant and yawns, prowling around the group of hunters, crowding then back against the cage as his tail lashes like a whip.

they’d just caught him off guard and coerced him into an enclosed area. fools. he melds back into his human form, eyes glowing gold as the wind ruffles his hair. “you should have collared me,” he chuckles, just the slightest bit cocky because please, he’s earned it by now. “maybe a leash. rope, at least. what the fuck made you think just caging a tiger was a good idea?” zoro flashes his fangs, bright white and lethal, and a man whimpers as his grin widens.

his footsteps are silent as he shifts back and stalks towards them. there’s a reason he’s known as the demon of the east, after all, and he thinks it’s due time to give the world a reminder.

*

“so…” usopp begins, fiddling with a short piece of rope. “who’s gonna address the elephant in the room?”

luffy looks around at the bounty hunters sprawled over the deck, all in various states of consciousness. “there was an elephant?”

usopp holds in the urge to sigh and drags a hand down his face. “tiger in the room. whatever.”

their captain tilts his head. “zoro’s not here.”

“exactly!” usopp exclaims, before he checks his surroundings and ducks his head to hiss, “exactly.”

“he’s probably off napping somewhere,” chopper offers, but even that doesn’t sound very sure.

the swordsman had disappeared after he’d shoved the group of mauled bounty hunters into the cage and bashed the lock in to seal it shut before chucking the whole thing into the sea. he’d stayed just long enough to watch it sink and then crept off somewhere— and he still hasn’t reappeared.

“oh— you know what he’s like.” nami rolls her eyes, perched on top of an upside-down crate, arms crossing as sanji squeezes her shoulder. “he’s fine. nothing shakes him.”

“you didn’t see the look on his face,” usopp shoots back, feeling strangely defensive. he knew what zoro was feeling, read it clear as day; he was intimately familiar with the kind of fear where you felt too small and too trapped to do anything.

he knows about zoro’s past. they all do. and the thought of zoro, fearless, larger-than-life zoro, undefeatable zoro, crammed into a tiny cage and getting poked at like a zoo animal? it makes something in usopp rankle so strongly it surprises even himself.

he startles as a gentle hand rests on his back. “i do believe our sniper’s right,” robin hums, leaning into franky’s side. “we should make sure he’s fine, don’t you think?”

there’s a general murmur of assent, and usopp leans back against the taffrail with a feeling that it’s gonna be easier said than done.

*

zoro doesn’t remember ever being this shaken.

he’d just been… numb, when he was a kid. not yet warmed up to the idea, the reality, that he’d be hunted just for what he was. after that numbness faded most of what he’d felt was rage; he’d indulged the instincts to hunt, to sink his sharp edges into muscle and viscera, until luffy had earned his loyalty and then the rest of the crew after him.

now he can’t stop feeling like he’s gonna tremble out of his skin, and he hates it.

it’s been days since the fight. he shouldn’t be affected. shouldn’t have been affected at all. but now without the adrenaline of battle, everything’s coming back crystal clear— the panic that had nearly choked him when the cage door swung shut, the sound of the lock clicking bouncing around his skull like a rubber ball. his own blood rushing loud in his ears, heart thumping a staccato against his ribcage, his eyes searching for someone, anyone, shoved back by the gritted statement that he didn’t need anyone to save him.

he hadn’t. he doesn’t. he shouldn’t.

and yet he hasn’t shifted in days, prowling the shadows of the ship on four legs, head ducked low and ears pressed down as he keeps his belly close to the deck. he tells himself he’s hunting for imaginary mice and jerks at every sudden noise. he’d let his guard down and then he’d payed the price and now it’s driving him mad; every creak and shift of the Sunny has him on edge, fur standing on end, and he hates it.

without his battle instincts, he’d have been stuck in that fucking cage. usopp had snapped him out of it a little— he’d made it out, but barely. the stupid metal box had been so small that if he’d shifted he wouldn’t have been able to move, and even now the thought of it makes him feel like throwing up.

the feeling of being locked up is not one that you can forget. bravado can only get you so far; he’d been a fool to think that being part of luffy’s crew offered him infinite protection, no matter how strong any of them are. he’s supposed to be able to handle himself, and he can. he can.

he hates this.

he’s been wandering aimlessly, strolling around without particular reason. his crew’s been trying to get him out of his funk; franky made him a whole new scratching post. sanji’s been leaving his favourite booze in the crow’s nest. brook had played jolly sea shanties for hours (and admittedly, zoro had felt terrible about just slinking off midway) and jinbei had tried to talk to him, but he gave it up when zoro just gave him a look. he knows they care, and he loves them for it, but he’s oscillating between wanting to go on a rampage and hide in a cupboard. the promise of safety still feels too good to be true after a refresher on what the rest of the world means for him. he knows he’ll have to get back to routine soon and he will, he just—

his ears prick up, and he pauses. listens.

“—arimo!”

he chuffs. it’s nearly midnight; what the hell is the cook calling him for?

“marimo! get your mossy ass in here now!”

and okay, wow. rude much. he wouldn’t put it past sanji (or any of his nakama, for that matter) to try another funky attempt at cheering him up, but on the off-chance that there’s actually something wrong…

he growls low in his chest, half-annoyed, padding around the corner and shouldering the galley door open.

he takes one look and turns around to walk right back out.

there are pillows and blankets piled everywhere on the galley floor, and the oven door’s open. the whole space smells like dark chocolate and cookie dough. zoro can’t do this.

everything after that happens in quick succession: he hears luffy laugh, he thinks oh no, and then he yowls as he’s grabbed and yanked into the midst of the massive pile of bedding. he flashes his teeth in a baseless threat, whipping around to hiss at his captain, but luffy just snickers and pulls back his arms.

he’s disgruntled even as the rest of his crew slot into place around him. it was a trap, and he admits he’s literally fallen right into it as he hears nami whisper, “told you he’d come if you called—” and then the sharp, mildly reproachful click of sanji’s tongue.

the cook turns to him, cross-legged with a pinstriped pillow hugged to his chest. “you don’t have to say anything,” he says plainly, eyes flickering to the side as he fiddles with a corner of the pillowcase. “or do anything, for that matter. just… stay.”

zoro stays quiet and lets himself look around. everybody’s in their pyjamas, smelling like soap and chocolate; franky has a nightcap on. luffy shoves a cookie in his mouth whole, and jinbei pretends that he doesn’t nudge the plate closer for their captain.

zoro doesn’t need them, maybe. but he remembers years of irregular sleep from watching his own back, stuck in his human form, always hyperalert and pushing for the next paycheck.

he’d been miserable before them. he really doesn’t need them— he can survive just fine on his own.

but that’s all it’d be, wouldn’t it? surviving. not living, not really. he doesn’t need them but he wants them.

it’s easier to admit than he expected. nothing changes. it’s no big revelation; just one that he’d been too afraid to acknowledge until now.

the anxious feeling in his stomach has settled some, and soft chatter starts around him as he lays down to rest his chin over his paws. after a while there are fingers in his fur— he allows it. if only just for tonight. let us help, is what he hears as he feels nami’s nails scrape gently between his ears, luffy playing with his tail, the warm wash of lamplight making sanji’s hair gleam dark gold. brook’s laughing quietly in the corner, and he can feel chopper’s chest rise and fall against his side.

sleep comes easily, for once. these people, his family— they make safety a little easier to believe.