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mothwingwritings · 7 months ago

Note

Can we have Ren/Fox (TPOF) and Mc with a child?Long after Fox decided to stay with MC, they both had a daughter (probably not something with consent and a bit of Stockholm syndrome).The daughter asks her mother how she got the scars and this makes MC have memories of post-traumatic stress.

I was so tickled by this ask that I started manically typing out a response for it nearly as soon as I saw it in my ask box (which at this point, was quite some time ago. Forgive me, I am a mess lul). I wrote the whole damn thing in a fit of passion, excited to release it into the world… But ultimately hated it and thought it was garbo, so I scrapped it and tried again. Wrote a second iteration and thought ‘hell yeah, this is it!!! Sick!’, but then I read it AND HATED THAT ONE TOO AAAHHH!!!

I rewrote this… so much…

But I never give up on my dreams, and you shouldn’t either! Persevere! Don’t give up on yourself! Here’s your daily motivation for the day! Keep writing even it makes you cry!!! :D

Anyway, so I wrote this third one, comprised of new stuff and the stuff I actually did like from the first two stabs, and it ended up being the one. Truly it is a Frankenstein of a fic lol. Regardless of all the reworking, I had a lot of fun writing this and enjoyed the prompt very much!!! I I hope you enjoy reading it just as much. :)

I’m sorry if the writing seems a tad too mature for the reader’s daughter in this, writing children isn’t my forte. ^^;

Due to the nature of this fic, IT IS 18+ ONLY!!! Thank you!

WARNINGS: Incessant mentions of abuse of all kinds for reader and mentions of physical abuse for her child!!! Reader is heavily scarred from said abuse and that’s a main theme in this fic so please avoid if that is upsetting to you. Also, though not the main focus, there are multiple mentions of child abuse in this fic, as well a part where reader goes off verbally on her child, so please be mindful of that as well! Other things of note: reader is a parent in this (which you can probably tell by the prev warning lol), reader getting hurt, blood, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, being held against your will/isolation, mentions of noncon, sad family stuff :(

Diminishing rays of afternoon light splayed through the open window of your quaint living room, casting a comforting orange glow over everything they touched. The light gave the environment an ethereal and nostalgic feel, wrapping you in peaceful warmth as the sun sunk lower and lower. The loveseat you occupied was plush and inviting, and a mug of your favorite tea stood at the ready on the small coffee table beside you, steadily cooling with help from the last hurrah of winter blowing in gently from the outside. Besides the slight chill, the wind brought with it the heavy scent of freshly bloomed flowers, a delightful precursor to the oncoming spring.

Relishing the rare moment of serenity, you couldn’t help but wish that all your days could be this lovely.

You smiled down at your daughter who sat perched in your lap, happily flipping through the newest gift she had acquired from her Father- a thick picture book full of bright illustrations highlighting various exotic animals. As it lay sprawled across her tiny lap, her chubby finger pointed out each animal she took an interest in, her high pitched voice chirping away as she explained what she liked about the creatures. She got particularly excited when she spotted the page full of foxes, jabbing at the red one feverishly as she exclaimed “its daddy!”

Spotting the foxes began her down a path of assigning an animal to not just herself, but you as well. She didn’t find it fair that only her father had kin in the animal world, even though you pointed out that she technically did as well by sharing half the man’s blood. Your revelation did little to deter her, she wanted something new, something just for herself, and she wasn’t going to stop until she found her perfect soul animal. So she continued on, scanning each page in earnest until she found a creature that suited her.

She ended up picking a bunny for herself, supplying you with a comprehensive reason as to why she chose it. As she explained in great length, skimping no details, you couldn’t help but hold back laughter. She spoke as if she were a professor teaching a class, and you did your best to keep a straight face as she yammered on with her shoddy reasoning, deep down knowing she only picked a rabbit because of how cute they are.

After she was done waxing poetic about bunnies, she continued scouring the book, coming to a halt once she reached the wild cat section. She stopped with a gasp, beaming up at you as she pressed her finger firmly against one of the images on the page.

“Mommy this one is you!”

Your eyes traveled to the picture she was rapidly tapping, “An African Wildcat, huh?” You smirked down at the little girl in amusement, “Why did you pick that one for me?”

“Because it looks just like you!”

You chuckled at her enthusiasm, “It looks like me? How so?”

“It has marks just like you do!”

Her innocuous words sent a chill up your spine. Eying the stripes that crossed the cat’s legs, you felt a great unease begin to overtake your body. Her reasoning was not lost on you, the cats coat did quite resemble the jagged scars that covered nearly every inch of your body, and just like the feline in her book, your limbs were the most prominent location of said ‘markings’. You quickly shook your head, not wanting to dwell on it further. In hopes of moving on from the subject, the outpouring of words that flew from your mouth were jumbled and messy.

“O-oh, I see,” you stuttered, clearing your throat to steady your voice, “well you certainly picked a cute animal for me! Thank you baby, it was a good choice.”

She smiled at you innocently, a gesture that usually made your heart melt with affection. But as her tiny hands moved from the book to your arms, that smile did nothing but fill you with dread, the realization that you wouldn’t be getting out of this sticky situation hitting you like a brick to the face.

“Yeah mommy, the kitty’s marks are just like these ones,” her stubby fingers gently traced the old wounds, a look of reverence reflected on her cherubic features. “They make you look like that kitty mommy,” her little voice cooed, “I like them a lot!”

Your muscles constricted at her words, a slight tremor coursing through you as you involuntarily tightened your grip on her. She took note of this, looking up at your strained features with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Don’t be sad mommy,” she spoke assuredly, “I really do like them! I think they are pretty!”

Her words burned you, scorching the inside of your frozen shell of a body, leaving you feeling sickly and discombobulated. The room around you started to spin in a hazy blur, a wave of nausea making you nearly wretch. Your breathing grew erratic as you tried to calm yourself, inwardly repeating that your daughter was just a child, a little girl barely four years of age who had an incredibly limited view of the world. Her words were not meant to upset you. Her opinions were coming from a place of total naivety.

Yet still, the mental assurance did little to help with the extremely uncomfortable position you now founds yourself in. It wasn’t as if this was her first time noticing your scars. She had mentioned them before, her curious mind trying to piece together the reason that her arms appeared different from your own. Each time she brought your old wounds up you couldn’t help but feel flustered, responding with weak explanations and misdirection to try and quickly brush off her questioning.

The marks came from a silly mistake, or a childhood accident, or from a careless moment when mommy should have been paying more attention. It was always excuses on repeat. How many lies had you told her on this topic alone?

But even if they were lies, it beat telling her the truth. You didn’t want to have to explain where the scars on your body actually came from to anyone, let alone a child, and especially not to your own daughter. How could you possibly word it gently, or in a way that she would understand, when you barely understood why you had them yourself? How could you look her in the eye and tell her that these markings were a permanent sign that you had been very, very hurt and that it was her own fathers hands that inflicted the pain?

Reliving the horrific moments that left your body in such a state was overwhelming enough on its own, but to also have to lay bare her father’s sins, relay to her the unsavory proclivities of a man who she idolized and adored, was not something you were keen on doing.

She didn’t know her daddy like you knew him. She was ignorant to the constant state of concern you lived in, unaware of the worries that plagued your mind and kept you up each night. All the troubles of the hell she had been born into were completely lost on the small, carefree girl.

But honestly that was for the best. You had made an unspoken promise the moment she entered your life that you would protect her no matter what. From the day of her birth onward it became your mission to keep her as happy and healthy as possible.

Ren had broken you, but she did not have to suffer the same fate.

At this point in her life, your daughter knew nothing of her daddy’s profession or ‘hobbies’, and you wanted it to remain that way for as long as possible, if not for the rest of her life. You dreaded each time Ren came home from an auction, terrified he may let casually slip too many details about his ‘lively client’ or that he would carelessly step through the door with the stains of his liaisons still littering his clothes. Your daughter was at an age where she was brimming with questions, and she was relentless in getting answers to each question she asked. Everything had to be explained in complete detail for her to be satisfied, drop the subject, and move on. She was a smart little thing, possibly too smart for her own good. You highly doubted a silly joke or wave of the hand would assuage her whirring mind should Ren grow too impetuous in her presence.

And should her questioning become too pesky, you fretted over what Ren’s reaction to it may be. The more you tried to avoid thinking about it the more you seemed to fixate on the topic, pondering just how much goading it would take from your daughter before his temper would rear its ugly head. You, above anyone, had firsthand experience in just how volatile the man could be, the scars that littered your body a testament to his turbulent emotions and violent outbursts.

Looking back on it now, it’s a wonder you survived any of it at all.

Ren often told you he loved you, each confession spoken through honeyed words that spilled from his lips easily and often. And while you didn’t doubt those words (you knew better than to, at this point), you also knew his sweet nothings weren’t merely a term of endearment, they also served as your curse. He loved you, but he also loved your fealty to him, your adoration and worship of him and only him. Should you not reciprocate his feelings as quickly or ardently as he expected, the mere thought of whatever punishment he would concoct was enough to send you into a debilitating panic attack.

There were few things he loathed more than when you flinched from his affection or if you exhibited any sign of distress towards his presence, especially after he had spent so many years going above and beyond to provide for you, devote himself to you. You had learned early on to keel any feelings of aversion you had to his advances, several of your more prominent scars a brutal reminder of that misstep alone.

If your daughter uncovered the truth and saw her father for who he truly was, if she began to fear him the way you feared him, how would he respond? If not only his partner, but his own daughter started shying away from him, what length would he go to to correct this behavior?

Dwelling on it made your skin crawl.

But perhaps all of your worries were asinine. Despite his inclination for cruelty, Ren had never so much as raised a hand towards your daughter, even when she did act up. If anything, he was overprotective of her, barely letting her move faster than a brisk jog lest she fall and hurt herself. He hated seeing his little girl experience even a modicum of physical pain, mentioning to you previously that were he able, he’d keep her locked up in a padded room all day and night to prevent any foreseeable accidents or injuries. Surely it was just his idea of a joke, but the insinuation still made you cringe.

It was almost comical, just how greatly the manifestation of his affection for her differed from how he showed his love for you.

His domineering nature shielded her from experiencing any true pain. Every scrape, bruise, and cut she ever received was superficial, nothing that caused major bleeding or left a lasting impression. She had no way of knowing what had been done to you to cause the scars that marred your form, the torment and hell you experienced with each slash, smack, burn. Hell, she probably didn’t even really understand what a scar actually was. All she knew was that her mommy and daddy had strange marks on their skin that didn’t follow any kind of set pattern, weird jagged lines and indents that her soft skin was curiously free from. The mystery of it all was as puzzling to her young mind as it was enticing.

However, some mysteries were best left unsolved, and just as with each other time she brought up this hot topic, you found yourself unable to look into her clear, bright eyes and tell her any semblance of the truth. She may have been forced upon you, but she was your daughter. You loved her, and you refused to be the one to shatter her innocence. You would keep her ignorant for as long as possible, shielding her to the endless nightmare of your daily lives, even if it cost you your sanity.

“Mommy,” her voice jarred you, dragging you from your thoughts, “mommy did you hear me? I said I think they are pretty!”

“T-that’s… I…” You stuttered, struggling to find the right words to say, your voice coming out much smaller than you intended it to. The room felt like it had dropped thirty degrees, your body twitching in response to the sudden chill.

“Daddy told me he gave some of them to you, like this one,” her pudgy, cold finger pressed into the faded heart that resided on your chest, the first of many indelible sins he had etched onto your form. Only the top half of the carved symbol was viewable above the collar of your shirt, so she tugged at the loose hem until she could see it in its horrible entirety.

“Daddy said he gave you this one because he loves you so much,” her voice grew quiet, a thoughtful look in her eye as they drank in wounds you wished you could forget, “Daddy loves me too, right mommy? You think he’ll give me a cute heart someday too?”

You felt as if you had been hit by a train.

“S-top,” the words were forced from your throat, airy and breathless, as if someone was wringing your neck to make them come out, “p-please, just stop talking.”

“What did you say mama,” your daughters sing-song voice responded as her fingers continued to trace and prod your scars, “You are whispering, is it a secret?”

“I told you to SHUT UP!”

As if following your command, your booming voice instantly silenced the small girl. Unused to such a violent outburst from her mother, her happy-go-lucky nature quickly shifted to one of alert, her tiny body going rigid as she stared up at you with fearful eyes.

Seeing her in such a state and knowing that you were the cause of it would normally have killed you inside, making you fall to your knees to beg for the child’s forgiveness. But right now, the thin thread that had been holding you together had snapped, and your words rushed out in a torrent you couldn’t begin to quell.

“Shut up, shut up, shut UP!” You seethed, clasping your hands to your ears to try and block out your own intrusive voice, “Just STOP TALKING about it! What are you even saying? Why would you ever want to look like this?!”

Tears started to flood your eyes, blurring the image of the girl who had quickly jumped from your lap and was now cowering before you. Through your bleary vision, you could see tears were brimming her eyes as well.

“You… You have no idea,” your voice warbled, shaking in equal parts grief and frustration, “You have no clue what you are saying, so just STOP IT. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!”

You slunk from the chair down to the floor, burying your face in your cold, stiff hands. The soft blubbering of your daughter could be heard through your own sobbing.

“I-I’m sorry mommy. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Hearing her broken voice began to shatter the spell you had been under, instant regret jerking you roughly back to reality. Your head sunk lower, your body scrunching itself up as tightly as possible to hide from this cruel reality.

Your screams were born from deeply buried feelings of hatred, tucked far, far away as a means of self-preservation. For a moment, you felt as if you despised your daughter, her existence tethering you to this wretched excuse of a life, binding you irrevocably to Ren. But as you lifted your heavy head, glancing up to stare into her young face, a face so very similar to your own, a face contorted in panic and sadness over her mother’s abrupt descent into madness… you realized it wasn’t her that you hated.

It was yourself.

Your daughter didn’t deserve this. She deserved normalcy. She deserved a father that didn’t pose a threat to her. She deserved a mother that wasn’t ruined by his hands. She deserved a happy and untroubled life, not to be stuck being raised in a barbed cage, navigating her way through life with nothing but the shattered remains of a battered woman to guide her.

“I’m so sorry,” you choked under the weight of your overwhelming emotions, snot and tears running freely down your ruddy cheeks and chin, “I’m so, so sorry baby…”

“What the hell is going on?”

You hadn’t heard the front door open, nor had you heard Ren’s jubilant greeting as he entered your home. He had no doubt been upset by the lack of welcome-it was one thing to be ignored by a child, but his doting wife? That was not something he was not apt to look past.

But surely any feelings of annoyance or frustration fled from his mind the moment he entered the room, his eyes falling upon your crumpled, messy form collapsed on the floor. You cursed his arrival, upset that he entered the scene at such a compromising time, right as you were struggling to regain an ounce of composure and properly apologize to the little girl who had done nothing wrong.

“D-daddy,” your daughter’s voice warbled as she barreled towards him, colliding into his waiting embrace. You wiped at your face in a desperate attempt to hide your previous outpouring of emotions, doing your best to avoid eye contact with Ren as his sharp gaze quickly flicked from you, to his daughter.

This had already become enough of a scene without Ren’s interference, it was best to try and begin damage control now.

“Daddy I-I made mommy cry!” Tears continued to pour from your daughter’s eyes, her face twisting into a look of pure dismay. Her misguided admission of guilt made you recoil, knowing full well it would grant her no favors with the person she seeking comfort from. “I’m really sorry daddy! I didn’t mean to!”

After several endless seconds of silence, Ren spoke.

“… You made her cry?”

His voice was far sharper than it needed to be, further agitating the precarious state of affairs. In most cases he would have offered your daughter leniency, letting her get away with far more than she probably should. However that leniency was null and void if you ended up suffering in the process. Ren could not forgive anyone that caused you any duress (himself, of course, being the exemption) even if that person was his own flesh and blood.

“What do you mean you made her cry? What the hell did you do to her?”

“I-I don’t know,” she wailed, a fresh wave of tears spurred on by the accusatory tone of her father’s voice, “I just told mommy I thought her marks were pretty and then she started crying! I wasn’t lying daddy, I like them! I think they make mommy look really pretty!”

“Her marks…?” Ren’s look of vexation began to dissipate as the meaning of her words donned on him. He lifted his arm, rolling up his sleeve to reveal his own scars to the little girl. Pointing a clawed finger to them, he leaned down until he was looking her in the eye, “You mean like these?”

As she nodded her head vigorously in confirmation, Ren tutted, “That’s the reason for all the water works? An innocent compliment started all this fussing?” He scoffed, shaking his head, “Isn’t that a little bit… silly?

You tensed at the sound of his barking laugh, your frown deepening as an amused grin spread wider across his lips. You wished that you could say it was shocking for him to have such disregard after finding the two of you in such an agitated state, but it was painfully in character of him to shrug off your misery and suffering as inconsequential. How he could so nonchalantly normalize this hellish situation he kept you and your child ensnared in, you would never understand.

Your daughter was apparently sharing similar thoughts, as her face began to once more morph into a pre-sobbing scowl. She was no doubt wounded that her father was not offering her the comfort she was seeking, her emotional state already greatly weakened by her mother’s venomous tantrum.

To help quell another round of tears, Ren pulled the child closer, wrapping her up in his arms so that her tiny form was nearly enveloped by him. “Shhh, no more tears angel,” he cooed sweetly, patting her head gently to appease her, “There isn’t any reason to cry, especially because… Well, you’re right! Mommy’s whole body is pretty, isn’t it? Her marks just compliment the beauty that’s already there.”

Slowly but surely, her tears began to dissipate. Hunched over shoulders loosened, and sniffles and hiccups gave way to even breathing. Like clockwork, her father’s gentle handling soothed her, the same touch that destroyed you offering her salvation.

As if under a spell, the turmoil that had overcome your daughter quickly began to vanish, her sobbing fading into quiet sniffles. Once she was fully calmed, Ren continued speaking, “That’s all you meant to say to mommy, right angel? I’m sorry she took it the wrong way, she’s probably just tired or hungry, you know how mommy gets. She’ll get over it in no time flat!”

Heat spread through your body at his flippant dismissal of your feelings, an indignant blush lighting your cheeks as you gripped your hands tightly at your side. Your previous emotional episode left you all but drained, but your will to fight back against his callous commentary could never truly be contained.

“In fact, I bet she is already over it now,” Ren’s voice took on a jovial tone as he directed his focus solely on you, “Aren’t you, pumpkin?”

With the ball suddenly in your court, you flinched as both sets of expectant eyes fell on you. Your own eyes darted from Ren’s piercing glare, down to your daughter’s wide-eyed look of unbridled hope. You felt much like the rabbit that had been caught by the fox, stuck in a lose-lose situation. Seeing him hunched over her small body as she clutched to him as a life line, openly concerned that her mother may once more reject her while her father remained a bastion of strength and understanding, left you reeling. Either you would get heated again and stay the villain, but possibly hold on to an ounce of your dignity, or concede to Ren and have yet another piece of your soul wither away and die-the price to pay so that your daughter could remain in blissful ignorance for another day.

“Aren’t you, pumpkin?” He repeated himself slowly, enunciating each word. The kindness in his voice serving only as a mask for the threat buried beneath.

“Y-yes,” you responded quickly, shooting them both a smile you hoped was convincing, “I am very sorry, baby. Daddy is right. Mommy is just… tired.”

A serene smile lit her face, your words placating her. Seeing her happy once more helped relieve a bit of the ache in your own heart, making the lie worth it.

“Good, good,” Ren affirmed with a nod, carefully detaching himself from your daughter as he stood, “but you know little one, mommy deserves some love too, don’t you think? She may have been in the wrong, but it’s not nice to make her cry like that. Why don’t you go give her a hug, hm?”

With no further persuading necessary, she quickly padded over to you, hopping on your lap with so much enthusiasm that it nearly knocked the wind from you. Her arms tightly latched around your torso as she smushed her face into your chest, rubbing it back and forth like she was trying to burrow beneath your skin.

“I love you mommy,” her voice spoke clearly, any hint of previous sadness long gone. You sighed, relieved that this dramatic chapter was over as you pulled your daughter closer to you.

“I love you too.”

During this show of affection, Ren had made his way behind you, slinking so deftly you hadn’t even known he had moved until you heard him chuckle softly behind you.

“This is what I like to see,” he spoke with a sickeningly dreamy sigh, “nothing makes me happier than when my two girls are happy.”

He placed his hands gingerly atop your shoulders, trailing them down until they rested on your arms. His thumbs pressed gently against the marred skin, rubbing in a small circular motion in an attempt to subdue you. His claws grazed your flesh, uncomfortably scratching against you as they snagged against your skin.

He planted a firm and lingering kiss to the side of your head, pulling away just enough that his lips grazed the shell of your ear. “There really was nothing to cry about,” he whispered breathily, his words quiet enough that despite your daughters’ proximity, she would have no chance of hearing them. “It’s almost unfair how gorgeous you are, scars and all. But you must know that, right my sweet pet? I tell you all the time.”

Ren took in a deep breath, releasing it in a shaky sigh, “Seeing these scars reminds me of all we have been through, all that we share. They are a symbol of our bond.”

One of his claws pressed down sharply, a small bead of blood pooling around the piercing. Leisurely he began to drag his finger up your arm, a thin red line following in its wake. You shivered at the burning sensation, but deigned to give him any reaction further than that.

“Don’t forget pumpkin, these pretty marks are a reminder of my constant love for you.” He chuckled softly, peppering a few kisses to the back of your neck while his claws slowly sunk deeper, “And right now I am feeling terribly sentimental, so for old times’ sake, why don’t I add a few more to remind you just how precious to me you are~?”

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kittylover776 · 8 months ago

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My friend, welcome to the world of hyper-fixation. XD

Y'all I need help. I love pitch perfect SO goddamn much. Like, I think I have a problem. Like it's gotten to the point of addiction. It's all I can think about. It's affecting my ability to have conversations with people because the only thing I can ever think of to say is "bro that's exactly like that one part in pitch perfect". Almost every song I get stuck in my head is from pitch perfect. I know every word of all the movies (besides 3) and I don't mean just the songs. I'm lowkey scared.

#Believe me I’ve been where you are when it comes to being in a fandom and it’s honestly not so bad.#It’s probably one of the highlights of my day and gives me the motivation to put my imagination into hard-drive and create fics. XD #This fandom being one of them along with ‘The Princess Switch’ and ‘Night At The Museum’. 😅#i love them #pitch perfect #pitch perfect 2

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thequietkid-moonie · 1 year ago

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Sweet and hopless romantic crush has no lucky in love

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Nagisa, Mob, Hitohito, Gojo, Nier, Emil ]

[ Assassination Classroom ] [ Mob Psycho 100 ] [ Komi can't communicate ] [ My Dress-Up Darling ] [ NieR Replicant ]

× Inspired on Mitsuri (from Demon Slayer)

Can you do me a favor and read this while hearing this song? I just can't stop hearing it!! 😩😩 I heard it while writing this!!

I had read some fics with Mitsuri reader before and almost NO ONE talk about this side of her (even when she is the love pilar 💀), so i decided to do it myself!!

Nagisa Shiota

Being in Class 3-E isn't easy for anyone and yet you always have a cheerful attitude that makes you highlight, once Koro-sensei came to the class and everyone started to get happier they just start to match more your energy (and you become pretty popular in the classroom)

It isn't strange for Nagisa to develop a little crush on you but as you two grow closer his feelings for you slowly grows and yet it take him a long time to notice his feelings for you (is more probably that Karma his closest friends are the ones who notice it)

As Nagisa grows closer to you he finds the pleasant surprised of you sweet and cheerful personality, something that slowly start to bright his days and help him forget about his worries and problems (sometimes because of your sweetness, other times for amusment of your personality)

Most of them doesn't really talks about their plans for the future since most of them had lost hope for being in Class 3-E (Nagisa isn't the exception, specially for his mother's plan), so it should be you who bring up the topic about you having a dream, otherwise he will never get to know unless he over hears it, in any case getting to know that your dream is to get married is something that surprise him a lot, he has never thought on something like that but you seem so motivated by it that he can't help to laugh a little, he apologize clarifying that is just amusment

It would take him a while to get used to your sweet and affectionate side because he isn't used to it, Nagisa is more used to be ignore or bothered by others, even more used to deal with the pressure his mother put on him but someone who just accept him as he is is pretty new to him, and being clingy and/or affectionate flustered him (more than it should, since is from someone he likes is even more flustering)

He finds pretty amusing and hilarious your hability to find something good and/or atractive on everyone, he can't help but laugh a little anytime you start to give compliments (or just say it to yourself) about all your classmates, Nagisa doesn't really feel jealous or insecure, or at least not at the moment is later when being alone when he start to think about it and start to feel a little down about it, since he doesn't see anything special on himself he think that you probably won't see anything special on him neither

When you do compliment him Nagisa is completely surprised by it, he doesn't expect it nor force you to say anything about him, at first he is surprised but he quickly change to be flustered and yet he says that you don't have to say anything and that it isn't a big deal because he doesn't fully believe the compliment, the more you insist with your sweet and lovely voice the more flustered he is, so at the end he just shyly accept it in hopes that you stop (that not always work). As well, even if you don't give him a compliment Karma will ask you directly what do you think about Nagisa just to tease him (because he knows about his crush)

Nagisa finds suprising your bad luck in love, for how sweet, lovingly and enthusiastic are with dating someone he doesn't see how you can have such bad past experiences, he doesn't know what to say so he just resort to comfort you by telling you how amazing you are in his eyes and wish you luck to find someone who truly loves you (since he is speaking from his heart he probably make a little obvious his feelings)

Even when he does notice and accept his feeling for you Nagisa won't do much about it, he doesn't want to force his feelings on you and he doesn't think you will see him that way anyway (specially for how sweet and popular you are), so is more probably that is his and yours friends (along with Koro-sensei) who will be pushing each other closer

Shigeo Kageyama

Mob is more used to be alone, despite his powers he isn't someone how stand out a lot, not like he wants to, Mob goes on his day with calm and naturalness

For Mob to develop romantic feelings isn't too difficult nor has to be a slow process, but when he does has a crush it affect him a lot and is pretty obvious, but in the case you two are close (or even become close) he slowly get used to his feelings and can interact with you without becoming a blushing mess

Your sweet and cheerful personality always brights his day, everytime he sees you smiling he can't help but smile too (with a little blush), sometimes he stares at you because he is mesmerize (until someone or even you take him out of his trance, making him a little embarrassed)

Whenever you two interact and you are sweet to him Mob feels special and fuzzy, he becomes a litte shy and can't just say no to you, he can handle you being really sweet with him but getting too close or even affectionate with him is more difficult for him to handle, even if is that you got closer to him he is already a nervous flustered mess, stuttering almost every word that leave his lips

Mob doesn't tent to talk much about the future or his own dreams (is probably that he doesn't exactly have one) but he is more than willing to hear you talk about your dreams, when you do tell him that your dream is to find love and to marry the person you love he immediatly tells you that is an amazing dream, he doesn't see anything bad on your wish and doesn't judge you for it, he may think on the posibility of being that person but he quickly throw away that idea for being really embarrassed for it. Is probably that he will tell Ritsu or even Reigen about your dream later when he thinks about it again, and is more like thinking out loud (he doesn't mind much their opinion, he will still think is a good dream)

Mob literally can't believe how bad luck you have in love, in his eyes you are completely amazing and beautiful so he can't understand why others won't like to be with you, let alone criticize you for your personality or wish, he doesn't know what to do to comfort you and get pretty nervous if you really seem sad for your past experiences, he tries his best to help you calm down but not even then he knows what he is doing so is probably that he end up telling you how amazing you are in his eyes (not really thinking in if his being obvious with his crush or not)

Mob finds pretty amusing your hability to always find something good and even atractive on the others, he likes hearing you rant about it and compliment people, mainly because you looks so excited over it, also he knows your compliments are genuine and he find it really endearing. He normally doesn't feel jealous nor insecure over it, is just something else he likes from your personality, however he do sometimes wonder if the people you compliment are more your type (specially towards those you seem more excited or had just compliment), wondering if he was more like that person he would have more chances with you, giving him more motivate to improve himself

Whenever you do give him a compliment, even for something small, he quickly becomes a flustered mess, even a little embarrassed and shyly telling you that it isn't a big deal (if you insist he becomes a little more flustered but at the same time make him feel special), and, as much as it flustered him receiving compliments from you, he actually loves it. If you don't give him directly compliments, or have been a while since the last time you had say something good about him is probably that Ritsu will try to help by telling you something good about Mob just so you can see the good on him (sometimes is the Body Improvement Club who talks you about him but is more when he improves on something)

Hitohito Tadano

After what happened during high school Hitohito decided to take things slowly and just be a normal student, not really wanting to highlight a lot, however that will be pretty difficult since he became best friends with the the school goddess and is crushing a pretty popular person

For Hitohito to fall in love is a slowly process, but when he does he does it hard, he loves a lot but will never force his feelings on you, that is why most of the time he just try to be near you trying to not make his feelings obvious

You two probably started being friends when he and Shouko approached to you in hopes to become your friend, explaining Shouko's dream to have 100 friends to what you answered by cheerfuly supporting her and gladly becoming her friend, saying that you have your own dream you want to achieve. Curiosity quickly pick them and is Hitohito who asked you about it without thinking (for what he will try to apologize), you quickly answered with a dreamly voice that your wish is to get married, to love someone and be loved, Hitohito was dumbfounded while Shouko decided to show you her support too, but at the end he doesn't judge you nor tell you is a bad wish

Even when he doesn't say it out loud, Hitohito is pretty flustered by your cheerful and sweet personality, you always have a sweet smile on your lips that make Hitohito feel flustered, specially when that smile is for him, even when it seem like your smile will never go away his heart just skip a beat whenever he is the one making you smile

It takes a while to notice and accept his own feelings for you so for most of the time he just support you on your wish to find a partner and heard you rant about it, even when he gets a strange feeling on his chest he just tries to ignore it, telling himself that you aren't forced to choose him or anything and he should cheerish for you like a good friend (and he still say it to himself once he accept his feelings because he will never force his feeling on you)

Hitohito is always willing to heard you rant about the attractive qualities you find in your classmates or whenever you seem specially attracted to someone (even if he doesn't understand how you do it or why), Hitohito, deep down on his heart actually wishes that it would be him for the one you talk so lovingly or gives so much compliments but it doesn't take him long for him to get embarrassed for thinking that and try to shakes the thought of his head

If you ever give him a compliment, even just a small one, he becomes a flustered mess in one second, thanking you over and over again but insisting that it isn't a big deal (actually when Najimi finds out about his crush on you she constantly tease him by asking you what you think of him or say something just to make you start talking about him)

Hitohito doesn't undestand how you could have so bad lucky in love when you are so sweet and loving, maybe a little too entusiat but in his eyes is just part of your cute personality, he understand if someone don't correspond your feeling but directly harshly rejecting you or even saying bad stuff about your personality and/or appearance is something that actually makes him mad, he finds everything about you lovely and he can't help but express his annoyance, however he focus more on comforting you and telling you that you have nothing wrong, that you are amazing the way you are! Accidentally expressing a little about his feelings and when he notice what he was saying is too late because you had heard it already, he is embarrassed and tries to explain himself, he mentally kicks himself but at least you seem to appreciate his words

Wakana Gojo

Gojo has been almost all his life alone, not being good to socialize and because people can find his work kinda weird, so, even if he start being you friend after getting to be Marin's friend is still pretty suprising for him to have another person to call a friend

Gojo isn't the type to fall in love immediatly, maybe a little attraction but to fall in love it has to be after a little bit of time, and when he does he does it hard. Gojo notice his feelings almost imediatly but he tries to deny it, saying to himself that is just that he is excited for having a new friend or that you will never like him that way, as well he tries to hide it but isn't really good at doing it

Gojo can't help but get flustered and all blushy whenever you are being sweet and so cheerfuly with him (unfortunately for him is almost all the time), and even when he tries to stay calm he can't because everytime your smile is dedicated or because of him his heart skip a beat, and not just that but since you could be pretty touchy and affectionate his heart almost stops all the time

Once Gojo grows comfortable with you and if you ask kindly enough (or insist excitedly and/or with puppy eyes) he will tell you everything you want to know about the dolls he does or the cosplays he is working on, when he does he can talk so naturaly that may slip a little about his dream of taking care of the store when he grows (is just that he feels so comfortable that he can't stop himself from saying it), when he notice what he had say he tries to apologize and ask you to forget it but if you show support or even call his dream cute he is between the confusion and being flustered. He wants to reciprocate and support you with your dream but when you tell him that you wish to love and be loved, to get married, he is dumbfounded, he wasn't expecting something like this at all, but at the end he support you nonetheless

He will probably think on your dream later, he find it stranger but cute at the same time! even a little funny but in a good way, also Gojo is just so into his thoughts that the idea of being the one that makes reality your dream bump into his head soon or later, it take him a moment to fully process his own idea and become a flustered mess while trying to shakes the idea out of his head (he will be so nervous about it that it would take him a while to be able to look at you directly at the eyes again)

Gojo doesn't has the heart to ask you to stop whenever you rant about what you find attractive of the people you know, if you are complimenting someone he just stand there beside you, doing his best to smile but inside he feels bad, not jealous but insecure and that insecurity will bugg him later when he is alone and will make him think that you probably will never like him that way

When you do give him a compliment Gojo quickly gets flustered and ask you to please stop, it isn't a big deal or anything! if you don't stop he will just be more and more flustered (is almost a miracle that he doesn't pass out), this is something that makes him feel embarrassed but he likes a lot when you do compliment him, he knows your compliments are sincere so it kinda make him feel special and sometimes even boost his confidence

Gojo doesn't undestand how if you are so beautiful, inside and out, you have no lucky in love, in his eyes whoever catch your attention is a lucky person but it seems like your past experiences say the contrary, he hates seeing you so sad about all of this so, even if it makes him a flustered mess Gojo will try his best to cheer you up and tell you how beautiful you are on your eyes (trying to don't be too obvious with his feelings)

Nier

Nier and Yonah are know through all the village and for his friendly and willingness to help everyone it isn't difficult to get to know him and be his friend (and he is more than happy to make new friends)

For Nier to fall in love is a little bit of a slowly process (contrary at just having a little crush) since first he wants to get to know the person, the love that he holds for you is selfless and innocent but Nier won't notice his own feelings for a long time (even so it could be pretty obvious his interest on you)

All the villagers know about Yonah but not everyone had saw her since she is almost all the time in bed for her sickness, but since you two are close is more likely Nier has no problem with you going to his house and visit her (and is even grateful for it), you are always so sweet and cheerful towards Yonah, not mentioning her sickness and always willing to play with her, seeing you two spend time together makes him fall in love more and more

Is know for everyone how caring he is with his sister and has no problem with express his determination to find a cure for Yonah's sickness, and just like he is always up to help anyone who need his helps, he want to help you if you ever need helps, so if you ever express that you have a dream he is already offering his help even without getting to heard what you wish for, and when you tell him that you wish to get married Nier is flustered and a little embarrassed but still wants to help you, although he doesn't how he will be able to help you with that (and he express it, along with how he will try to help you at the best of his habilities)

Nier is constantly influenced by your sweet personality, whenever you smile he can't help but smile too, and he doesn't get flustered unless someone point out this or when you are being too close or even affectionate with him

Nier is fascinated by how you always seem to find good things on everyone (even when you say that are qualities that make them attractive) and everytime you say it out loud he can't help but laugh amused before say something himself, either agreeing or even adding something to what you had say (he find it specially funny when you get to meet Weiss and Kaine). Nier isn't really someone who usually feels jealous, so he doesn't normally get insecure or jealous over it, only the times you seem a little too excited over someone, he feels a little uncomfortable and jealous, he tries to don't intervene but still tries to catch your attention back

Everytime you do give him compliments to him Nier becomes really flustered and with a nervous smile he tries to decline the compliments by saying that it isn't a big deal (specially if is about his strenght or how caring he is with Yonah)

As much as he likes seeing you and Yonah get along is probably that he ends up getting pretty embarrased thanks to her, when Yonah start to take a liking towards you she start to insist more on wanting to know you and she can't help but talk about Nier from time to time (is the person she loves the most in the world after all), so, even when it isn't her intention Yonah talk about what she love more of her brother, on how caring and stronge he is, and since you agree with her or even ask her more stories just make him more and more flustered and embarrassed (is probably that when Yonah start to like you too if she get to know about your dream she will ask you with all her innocence if you will like to marry his brother)

Nier doesn't understand how you can have so terrible lucky in love if you are such a lovely person! Whenever you feel bad for your past experiences he is quickly to comfort you, assuring that maybe you just haven't found the right person yet or that he thinks you are amazing the way you are, he focus on comforting you but if someone says something bad about you or directly offends you he will be more mad and will want to do something about it (maybe try to talk with Devola and Popola about it)

Emil

Since in the mansion is just Emil and the butler he is more than happy to have the opportunity to meet someone new (a little nervous at first but that doesn't stop him from start a friendship with you), it doesn't matter if you stay with him in the mansion or just visit him once on a while he is more than happy to have you around

It would take a while for him to develop feelings towards you, he is not the type to fall in love immediatly, but when he does his feelings are pretty stronge and stubborn, also it won't take him long to notice his feelings for you and as much as he thinks that it would be safer if you stay away he can't stop himself from searching your company

Since Emil can't see you he just learn to identify your footsteps (even if you don't make much sound while walking he will know you are there) and he grows to love your voice, for him your voice is just as lovely and sweet as your personality (he may say it once but he would do it pretty shy)

Emil is a really good listener, he likes hearing you talk about anything really, it could be that one day he got curious or you are the one bringing up the topic about you having a dream (or asking him for his) and he immediatly shows interested on it, when you tell him that your dream is to get married Emil can't help but laugh at it, not because he is making fun of you but because he finds it really cute, something that totally matches your personality (he will get flustered when the feeling of wanting to be the one you marry bumps in his head)

Emil can't help but smile at your sweetness, is something that bright his days and he is totally grateful and happy to have you around. It even reached the point where just by hearing your footsteps coming he is already smiling softly

Emil is easily startled by you affectionate side, you being so carefree with getting close and even hugging him always surprised him and make him flustered (specially after his transformation, but in this case he is more hesitant to returning the hugs)

Emil can't understand how you being so amazing and beautiful have so bad lucky in love, having bad past experiences with people that had even complain about your appearance, anytime you remember or talk about those experiences he quickly comforts you saying otherwise, saying how amazing you are to him (a little flustered but don't really mind if he make a little obvious his feelings for you)

It troubled him a little anytime you start complimenting others (even if you don't tell them the compliments directly), it makes him a little insecure about his chances with you and yet he doesn't has the heart to stop you (he doesn't feel with the right to say you anything about it). And whenever you compliment him is the complete opposite reaction, he immediatly gets flustered and start stuttering while trying to say thanks and saying that there is no need, Emil is used to be called a monster or even a weapon so receiving such heartwarming compliments from the person he loves is a little too much for him

Also, if the compliments are about his powers, even just one, it will help him a lot to slowly grow more comfortable with them since he sees his powers as a curse that only brings destruction, you seeing something good on them comfort him a lot

When he get his transformation he was horrified by his new appearance, he didn't wanted to anyone to see him like this and even after Nier's acceptance and comfort he was scare of your reaction, if you react well or even imediatly accept him he is already on the verge of tears (if you even compliment his new appariace it would take him a while to believe and accept it but it make things easier for him)

After his transformation, now that he finally can look at you without putting you in danger he will take a moment to appreciate how beautiful you are before actually saying it, not really giving importance if he end up embarrassed for saying it

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currymanganese · 11 months ago

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Will Carmy leave the culinary world?

I know based on Carmy's current disillusionment with the restaurant world that this is a question that us fans have been asking ourselves, but here are some reasons why I think that Carmy will stay in the food service industry in some capacity, or at least why I'm hoping that he will.

Carmy loves the family restaurant:

First and foremost, Carmy does have a love for his family's business and for cooking, despite the burnout that he has been experiencing he defends the restaurant against his sister's scorn for The Beef and Uncle Jimmy's desire to purchase it in season one. Also, note that in his first onscreen face to face conversation with his sister, Via Chicago by Wilco plays in the background, and the tortured lyrics ultimately end by speaking of searching for home,

-and inter-cut with this scene, Marcus and Richie highlight an effective change Carmy has made to the restaurant (organizing the spice rack). The scene deliberately extends to have Gary tell Fak his REAL NAME while the song in the background says, "printed my name on a back of a leaf and watched it float away..." while Marcus finds a keepsake from Carmy's fine dining days / James Beard Award win that references, "Fairest Creatures", a phrase from Shakespeare's Sonnet 1 which is part of a

series of sonnets which urge a young man to marry and have children so that his legacy will live on. It is almost as if the narrative is telling us that Carmy's real name/identity is being a world class chef, not the harried, downtrodden line cook / small business owner we see him as at the beginning of the pilot, but this identity has temporarily eluded him. It also reinforces what Sydney said about him during her character introduction, when she told him that she knows who he is, "Most excellent CDC at the most excellent restaurant in the entire United States of America".

In a literal sense, the restaurant currently is Carmy's home away from home, even more-so than his sparse apartment, it is also his family legacy, and apart from his love for his family, the restaurant, and cooking by extension, is quite likely his "first love". He outright tells Jimmy that he loves the place in his conversation in Hot Dogs at Nicky's birthday party, and during his business pitch in "Beef" in S2;

"I love this place. I love this city. I wanna start our first business here."

He also doesn't deny it when Richie asserts that he loves the restaurant when Richie has the conversation about purpose with him also in "Beef", he just lets slip that the business is not fun for him presently, but as with many things, that can be subject to change in the future, especially if the restaurant presents him with the opportunity to have a home and a family of his own, and a legacy to give his own child or children someday! Now, don't get me wrong, a major component for Carmy's original love for the restaurant and for cooking was motivated by his love for Mikey, however, I believe that over the course of the series that Carmy may cement his love for the place and for his identity/ vocation as a chef even though he no longer has Mikey as his reference, his North Star. He may very well find even more reasons to love being a chef and to love the place that Nat and Jimmy, and his mom, and even Mikey once found unlovable.

2. Divestment and gifting of belongings, especially belongings that one is emotionally attached to is often a symptom of suicidal depression:

This may be TMI, but I first learned this as a child because my father was suicidal, he also even attempted once, but was thankfully unsuccessful, but one of the things my mother taught me and my siblings to be wary of is when he gives away clothing (he loves clothes). I know that Carmy giving Tina his chef knife in Season 2 is probably not meant to indicate that he is depressed, but I would be concerned if Carmy checks out of the business entirely to the point that he completely gives his stake in the restaurant up to Sydney or something of that nature, since, see point one above, he does love the restaurant, despite the strain that it causes. If Carmy continues giving away stuff that he loves in Season 3 onward I'd be very concerned.

I also believe this mental health symptom of suicidal depression was subtly illustrated in the pilot of Season one "System"; the jacket that Mikey gave Carmy, the one that it is implied that Carmy ended up selling to keep The Beef stocked and afloat, why did Natalie have it if Mikey gave it to Carmy? I believe that Mikey may have let Carmy know that he wanted him to have the jacket before he committed suicide, as in, Mikey divested himself of the jacket, just like in death he ultimately divested himself of the $300,000 from Uncle Jimmy and the restaurant itself. Knowing that, I don't see Carmy having an easy time walking away from the restaurant, regardless of if it is to pursue his artistic passions, even if he wants to...And also, as Carmy expressed in his monologue in Braciole, there's artistry in cooking and it is a subset of art that Carmy has become quite proficient in.

3. Carmy is competitive, but we still haven't seen him at the apex of his talents as a chef onscreen in the show so far:

Carmy was once so competitive in the culinary world that he viewed his coworkers in an antagonistic light to such a degree that he was determined to be so excellent at his craft that he "smoked" them and showed them up by comparison...He essentially becomes a master in his profession, despite his lack of academic /collegiate instruction in the culinary arts, through sheer spite for Mikey (as he expressed in his monologue in Braciole), for making him feel,

"...so rejected, and lame, and shitty, and uncool...."

-and out of spite/disdain for his coworkers. Although he is now far less anti-social and presumably has a healthier attitude towards competition, what would happen to someone with Carmy's competitive mentality if he quits the industry?

What healthy outlet does he have to be competitive to the extent that he can "be the fucking guy" and be the best at what he does, and to quite frankly be (in his own estimation, most importantly) cool? What happens to him (if he quits being a chef) the first time he walks into a restaurant and orders a meal, sits down to eat it and finds the dish shitty? What happens to him when he can't turn off the intuition that he has honed from years of self study where he can figure out how to improve a dish just off of one taste, like he did with Syd's braised Beef Short Ribs? As @thoughtfulchaos773 mentioned to me, we still haven't seen a moment where Carmy is confident and in control AND having fun while he is gelling with the rest of the crew in the kitchen, like Richie had while on expo in the season 2 finale.

If he quits being a chef, when will he get to "be the fucking guy" that Uncle Jimmy has been admonishing him to be? Because on some level he does indeed want to be that guy; he even watches Pasta Grannies in his free time, he doesn't suddenly stop being that kind of guy even if he quits, and I daresay that cooking may actually be some sort of special interest for him, which leads me to my next point:

4. Carmy may have to get into some form of further studies if he wants to pursue visual arts intensively, whether at a tertiary level or through some vocational program or as someone's understudy:

Whether it's visual or performing arts, the arts are quite difficult to get into and be successful in at a high level, and Carmy may have to undergo some retraining in order to have a competitive chance in that field, whether as an independent artist or whether he works under another artist or for a studio or fashion house etc., especially since the business administration aspect of his current job seems to be a challenge for him. However, since Carmy expressed that he had trouble in school and there were also instances where he seemed to struggle with executive dysfunction in season 2, the possibility exists that Carmy has ADHD or some learning disability that may complicate such a prospective career switch. It wouldn't be impossible for him, mind you, but this is a factor that also potentially influenced him, if not outright prevented him from going to college or pursuing another field. He'd need a lot of privilege and support to make such a career shift successfully.

Barring some assistance from connections and friends in high places (a la - his implied friendship with Thom Browne) it is unlikely that his current artistic skill level in sketching/illustration (that we have seen thus far anyway), that is either self-taught or based on his high school education, would be enough to get him very far as a visual artist. From seeing some of my artistically talented relatives struggle to make it as performance and visual artists, the arts can be very cutthroat, nepotistic and stressful industries to break into. The starving/obscure artist is an international stereotype for a reason, one of my grandfathers was even a struggling multi-instrumentalist for example; it can be quite rough out there in the art world!

Which brings me to my next point;

5. If Carmy continues to avoid dealing with the root of his traumas and does not process his grief and address his mental health issues, even if Carmy switches career, the next industry that he's in will still proverbially beat his ass:

As part owner of The Bear, Carmy has the opportunity and freedom to not just realize his own creative vision, but he also has the liberty to make it (along with Syd and Nat's and the entire crew's help) so that the restaurant is, to quote Sydney, "different from all the other places we've been at." He now has the power to make it so that, as much as possible, the restaurant is not the toxic, abusive, soul sucking enterprise that had him vomiting every day before his shift when he worked under the abusive executive chef (implied to be) at EMP. If Carmy cedes his place at The Bear, he is not guaranteed to have the same level of autonomy in another field, even as a visual artist, and the arts (or any other industry he may move on to) are riddled with challenges and injustices and struggles of their own.

While it would probably not be the intent of the creators if they do depict him leaving the culinary industry someday, in a way Carmy quitting being a chef could also be seen as a repudiation of Sydney's conviction that The Beef, now The Bear, doesn't have to be a shitty place to work at. If Syd and Carmy succeed at making it a great place to work at, shouldn't he be able to enjoy that for himself as well?

6. This show is many things, it's a study of the way grief and trauma shapes a person, it's about family, surviving family trauma surrounding addiction, and love, it's very loosely autobiographical, it's a genre bending dramedy, but so far it has also been a love letter to the food service industry and food service workers:

This is just my opinion, but wouldn't it be a somewhat tepid love letter to the food service industry/worker if the protagonist leaves the very industry that has made him who he is thus far, and that has even brought (in my opinion, don't kill me) his soulmate (Sydney) into his life at the end of the story? After the showrunners took the care to have two bottle episodes where supporting cast members gained fresh perspectives on their roles in the food service industry (Marcus in Honeydew and Richie in Forks) - we are even shown Richie (like Sydney with Coach K's "Leading with the Heart") reading and internalizing the book, "Unreasonable Hospitality" by Will Guidara.

To quote the author's website:

"Today, every business can choose to be in the hospitality industry — and you don't have to be a luxury business to do it. This book of lessons about both service and leadership learned over a career in hospitality celebrates the one principle that will never go out of season: the human desire to be taken care of. In this behind-the-scenes peek at the world of fine dining, Guidara shows us how to find the magic in what we do — for ourselves, the people we work with, and the people we serve."

As a result, I think Marcus and Richie's character arcs in season 2 foreshadowed the possibility of Carmy having a similar transformation on his current outlook on the restaurant and his place and purpose in it. It is also important to note that potential love interests served as mouthpieces to aid Marcus and Richie's perspective shifts in Honeydew and Forks, Luca for Marcus and Jess for Richie; while they weren't there as the sole reasons for Marcus and Richie's renewed appreciation for what they do in the restaurant, they were there to witness and assist with their character development and renewal.

With this in mind, how do you think learning that he prepared the best meal Sydney ever ate in her life, when he was at one of his lowest points mentally / professionally would affect Carmy? Would he really want to walk away from the field and vocation that helped him to win over / woo Sydney before he even met her, when he learns that this is effectively what brought her to his doorstep in the first place, not The Beef, not her Dad, not Mikey, not his prestige as a chef, but him and his cooking? I think that over the course of the show that Carmy has to learn to (to reference the aforementioned books) lead from his heart, and to rediscover the magic in what he does as a chef.

7. One of Carmy's struggles is loneliness and isolation, he may be even lonelier if he leaves The Bear behind:

Realistically speaking, the food service industry is a high stress industry that makes high demands on workers' time, with that in mind, how will he maintain his relationships with those who we have seen become his surrogate family members in the crew if he walks away from The Bear permanently? Let's say he becomes an independent visual artist, being self employed can be a lonesome experience. Also, loneliness itself can also cause dissatisfaction with one's job, does he really no longer think he is cut out for work as a chef, or is his loneliness one of the factors that brought him to a psychological/emotional tipping point at the end of season 2? From my own experience with losing my job at the end of last year, switching careers or leaving behind a job can, in an of itself, be a very isolating experience - especially if you were emotionally attached to your job or befriended your colleagues. If Carmy's loneliness is one of the biggest things he wants to escape, leaving The Bear isn't going to automatically make it possible to form the connections and the work/life balance that he is yearning for deep down inside.

8. If Carmy walks away from the restaurant, what happens to his partnership with Sydney?

After all, he was the one to convince her to partner up with him to start a new place. Worse yet, Carmy is heavily implied to be in love with Sydney, how will he have the opportunity to make something of that fondness for her or maintain a romantic relationship with her if he does start a relationship with her, if he leaves? He won't be there to try to make good on his promise to not let her fail, he won't see the highs and lows of her days BOH, their relationship just would not be the same. The disparity between professions and the high constraints on their time was also one factor that would have made it difficult for Carmy to maintain the relationship with Claire in the long run.

As such, it is common for persons in the food service industry and in other fields where it is common to work long hours, to get around this hurdle to proper work/life balance, by simply having their personal lives heavily intertwined with their work. It's common for persons in the food service industry to meet their spouses and partners at work and to continue to work with them. This is even referenced in season 2 which featured the husband and wife owned and operated restaurant, Kasama, and also with the butcher that mentions that he is in business with his wife to Sydney, after they lost their restaurant due to an untrustworthy partner.

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So which will Carmy ultimately be to Sydney, just a partner that ultimately walks away from their shared vision and venture and goes it alone with his own career, even if it is for the sake of his mental health? Or will he be her partner in multiple senses of the word? Does he really "wouldn't even wanna do it without" her in a literal sense or will he walk away from The Bear? I'm hoping that he stays, or that even if he leaves that they leave together, and that they leave to greener pastures. Remember that Carmy told Jimmy that he wanted to open their "first restaurant" there at The Bear, imagine if they yield the restaurant to Tina, Richie and Nat someday and start another venture elsewhere or start publishing cookbooks together or become food television personalities, like Carmy saw himself as in his nightmare in Braciole, but in a positive twist?

Also keep in mind that when asked about the possibility of there being a romance between Syd and Carmy, Christopher Storer has gone on record to cryptically say about the two of them:

"It's a partnership, you'll see......."

9. Carmy is not a one to one analogue for Christopher Storer:

While Christopher Storer left the food service industry and entered the film industry as a writer/producer and director, and Carmy and his family is loosely based on Christopher Storer and his sister's life, there are some deviations from C Storer's life that make Carmy's character and story unique. Carmy is a youngest child, Storer is the eldest child in his family. Apart from having a cigarette addiction, Carmy is sober, but C Storer struggled with alcohol and substance abuse before he met his partner Gillian Jacobs. Storer is currently no contact with his mother who is an addict, but it remains to be seen what decision Carmy will ultimately make concerning his relationship with his mother, Donna. At the very least it seems that Nat wants her to be a part of their life still. This might be superficial, but Carmy is also short and Christopher is tall, here he is standing between Ebon Moss-Bachrach and Lionel Boyce who are roughly, 6' and 6' 3" respectively.

I'd be more confident that Carmy would leave the food service industry if he was more of an author stand-in for Christopher than Jeremy Allen White's depiction of Carmy currently is. Perhaps Carmy will represent the chef that Storer would have liked to work under or become if he remained in the culinary industry. And perhaps Mikey represents the person that Storer saw himself becoming if he did not meet Gillian Jacobs and become sober? Based on the earliest drafts of The Bear I know that Carmy and Sydney were supposed to more closely resemble Storer and his relationship with his sister Courtney, who is still a chef and is a culinary consultant on the show. However, since the story has changed so much after JAW and Ayo's casting, to the point that Carmy and Syd's relationship if rife with romantic subtext, then it'd make sense for me if Carmy remaining a chef is one more area where his life is not just a mimicry of Christopher Storer's.

TL;DR - I don't think Carmy will quit the culinary industry or The Bear, or at least I hope that he won't and here's why:

Carmy loves the restaurant.

Divestment of beloved belongings is sometimes a symptom of suicidal depression.

Carmy is a competitive person, being a chef gives him a healthy outlet to compete and to execute well at a high level, and we have yet to see this side of him/his full potential as a chef onscreen.

Carmy will require retraining to work in another field, even if he wants to do visual arts full time.

If Carmy keeps avoiding dealing with his mental health issues, a job in a different industry will still be a challenge for him.

The show is a love letter to the food service industry, Carmy leaving the industry someday will defeat the purpose of the show in a way, and would mark a departure from the trend of character progression where we've seen the supporting cast find renewed purpose in the industry.

Since Carmy suffers from loneliness, it is likely that he'll be even lonelier if he leaves The Bear.

His partnership with Sydney and his possible desire for a romance with her may suffer or become less likely to occur if he leaves.

And lastly, Carmy is not completely based on Christopher Storer's life, just because Storer left the food industry doesn't mean that he intends for Carmy to do so by series end.

Thanks for reading this through if you've made it to the end, and a big thank you for listening to me jaw on about all of this and convincing me to write it out @thoughtfulchaos773 !

P.S. Happy New Year everyone! 💃🏽

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raainberry · 11 months ago

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Studious Confession

« Done deliberately or with a purpose in mind. »

Yunjin x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - you and your friend yunjin get sidetracked while speed running revisions for finals

wordcount - 1.8K

A/N - save me scholar yunjin, save me…

Absolute academic weapons.

That’s what you and Yunjin aimed to be when you scheduled a study session at your campus library. Exam season was breathing down your necks, and you ignored it for as long as you could, taking each other on the most impromptu hang-outs instead.

Convenience store runs that lead to mukbangs, walks around campus that somehow turned into treetop adventures, late night drives after a long day of classes you spent screaming to whatever she played on the aux… Risking your education (and probably your future) had never been so fun, but all good things must come to an end.

As the end of your junior year approached you were the first one to bring up studying, suggesting you should probably pump the breaks on the distractions. She only called you a nerd, but gave in when you proposed to study together.

The time itself wouldn’t be fun at all, but at least she’d spend it with you. “A win is a win.”, she’d said over the phone, and it only took a few more days to actually motivate yourselves. Reserving a study room was a step in the right direction, but what happened in there would only make you take two steps back.

“That doesn’t even look like me.” You said after she revealed her doodle in the corner of your notebook.

She spent the last five minutes trying to sketch your features out on the bit of blank paper left on your notes instead of focusing on her own.

“Yes it does, look!” She gestured at the messy drawing. “That’s your eyes and your mouth.”

“I am looking, I’m just not seeing.”

It actually did look like you, Yunjin was too talented for it not to. You were just looking at it upside down as you sat across the table from her.

“Well look harder!”

“I don’t want to, stop distracting me!” You whined, switching your pen for a highlighter.

“You’re so mean! Give me my airpod back.” She whined back, actually catching your attention this time.

“What?”

“I don’t want to share my music with you anymore. I need to listen to sad music alone because you’re so mean to me.” She argued, her hand out waiting for the airpod in your ear.

“Are you serious?” You asked, and she only stared at you, retreating her hand only to fold her arms over her chest. “If I say it does look like me, can I keep it?”

“You can keep the drawing, yeah.” She scoffed and you sighed.

You were unsure whether she was serious or not, so you decided to try something that could only have a positive outcome.

“Coffee break?” You proposed, and just like that, her smile was back.

Relief washed over you when her hand found yours, dragging you down to the nearest vending machine. The latter was familiar, it has seen your faces more times than the study rooms as you sometimes only came by to get a coffee from the machine right next to it.

That’s where you met Yunjin, on one of the rare nights she dedicated to her due projects. You’d offered her one of those cheap paper cups, a hole in your student wallet but nothing compared to the world she invited you in afterwards.

Her own little world, the person she was within it, the things she saw and built… It was all so beautiful. You’d get her a thousand of them if it meant learning one new thing every time.

Sometimes you brought her here in hopes for it, and it never failed. The same thing would happen: you’d get her a coffee, she would fight you, try to pay for yours, and you’d ask her about something you’d noticed about her to change the subject. Small details you’d noticed; a pretty necklace, some new earrings, a new hairstyle or the way her makeup looked. Sometimes her mood stood out to you, had you curious. She’d soon forget about her self-imposed debt, getting caught up in the excitment of whatever had caught your attention that day.

“I like your glasses today. How many pairs do you have?” You asked after she sighed out your name. “This is like the fifth pair I’ve seen you wear.”

“Thank you. I have a few. Even more back home.” She said, making you raise an eyebrow.

Her answer was shorter than usual. No spilling over to another subject that your question reminded her of. No squealing about where she got them from, holding your arm as she practically begged for you to come check the small store out with her next time.

Her hands stayed put in her pockets, below the sweater you’d asked about a few weeks ago. It looked comfortable and cozy, and she seemed to grow fond of it based on the way she pulled her hands into the sleeves so often.

“Do they even help you see?” You asked, joking around in an attempt to pull a little more out of her.

“Only two of them do. These aren’t one of them, though.” She giggled to herself, and you could only shake your head at her absurdity.

“Do you even want to pass?” You chuckled as the machine made all kinds of mechanical noises, signaling that the coffee was ready.

She rolled her eyes, getting her hands out of her pockets to grab the cup from yours. The heat emanating from it was the last thing she needed on this fair weather day, but the taste of that coffee was just too good to pass on.

The taste wasn’t the only thing that pushed her to accept each and every one of the cups you offered her. She didn’t even pay attention to it at first, but as time went on, she started looking forward to it. Sometimes to the point of craving it.

Caffeine was dangerous, sure, but she’d come to realise it wasn’t what she had become addicted to.

“How long are you going to keep this up?”

She broke the small silence that had taken its place between the two of you. One of your favorite songs was playing at a faint volume from the airpods you were still sharing, filling in for the lack of words. Your mind had drifted off, long gone and barely listening to your favorite melody as thoughts of her occupied the back of it.

The sound of her voice brought you back, all conscious and hiding how crazy you felt thinking about someone standing right next to you.

A curious hum resonated from your chest, and your eyes met her questioning ones.

“The coffee. When are you gonna let me pay you back?” She asked, and you smiled.

“You don’t need to.”

“But I want to. You spent like a hundred dollars since the beginning of the year.” She frowned.

“That’s a bit excessive. I’d say 30 dollars at the most. It’s really cheap coffee.” You pointed out.

It took everything in her not to call you a smartass. It seemed like a terrible way to confess her feelings. Especially when what she felt, the light she saw you in painted you as far more than a smartass. The opposite, or maybe a more positive and kind alternative.

“You really don’t want me to pay you back?” She insisted, and you shook your head, amused.

This wasn’t the first time she was asking, and you didn’t expect it to be the last, but your answer would remain the same.

You didn’t want her money.

“You could at least admit you want something in return.”

Her words wiped the delectation right off your face. The lighthearted atmosphere suddenly vanished, replaced by a heavy and uncomfortable one.

You had trouble finding the right way to breathe, scared it would shift the conversation into a much too unpredictable path.

“Wh—what?” You stuttered, furrowing your eyebrows in the most natural way you could.

Yunjin wasn’t having it, although in a simpler moment she would have laughed at your poor attempt.

“Come on, Y/n.” She probed. “No one gives out that many compliments out of pure kindness only.”

“There probably are a few people—” You started, but the way she stared at you kept you from rambling further.

There was no escaping it, she obviously knew what was going on. In theory, you couldn’t be surprised as you hoped for your actions to be obvious, or at the least for her to notice them.

Now that she did, you weren’t sure what to do. Hell, you didn’t even know where or how to stand anymore, you hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Well—I mean, I kind of have been doing this to get to know you a little more.” You mumbled.

One of her eyebrows furrowed, and you sighed. This wasn’t exactly ideal for the embarrassment you felt.

“We’ve been friends for months, is it so difficult to do that? Am I that hard to read?” She wondered, amused.

“I don’t know, it feels easier this way… For me at least.” You looked down, eyes sweeping the floor as you did your best to avoid her gaze.

Embarrassed was only the start to describing how this whole thing made you feel. Everything you did, everything you told and asked her in order to find out more, as sincere and truthful it all was… It all seemed so silly. Collecting all those bits of her personnality, of her mind; piecing them all together in sercret and falling behind closed doors…

What was the point of putting yourself through so much if it would all come to light anyway?

Would it even be worth it?

“Right. Well…” She trailed off, and your eyes were pulled by the sudden movement of her hand between the two of you.

You watched as it hesitantly approached yours, waiting to see if it would welcome it only for you to wrap your fingers around her palm in a heartbeat— that was to say it happened fast as your heart had picked up the pace for a while now.

Yunjin kept her smile to herself, hiding her appreciation behind treacherous eyes that she focused on your joined hands. The spark she held in her gaze whenever she looked at you was hard to erase—she couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it.

“Let your wallet rest a bit.” She joked, finally looking up at you. “Whatever you want to know, next time you can just ask.”

“Do you like me?”

“Oh.” Her eyebrows raised in surprise as you shared a laugh over the sudden, bold question.

It wasn’t exactly unlike you, but judging on the past couple minutes, neither of you really expected it.

“I do like you.” She admitted, a shy smile letting you know she wasn’t as cool about it as she tried to be before adding. “When you’re not nagging me about finals.”

“If this is one of your ways to get out of studying I’m gonna be so mad.” You half-joked.

It would be a pretty insane thing to pull, but you wouldn’t put it past her. She loved to avoid schoolwork, no matter the excuse.

“If it was I wouldn’t ask you to get back to it.”

“You haven’t.”

“I am now.” She smiled, tugging on your hand the same way she had to bring you here.

You could only follow as she jogged back to your study room. Whether her excitment came from studying or the progression of your relationship, you had a small idea. It put a smile on your face that you wouldn’t be able to get rid of for as long as she was the one holding your hand.

And wherever she’d lead you, you’d follow.

#lesserafim x reader #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin x reader #huh yunjin #le sserafim #yunjin fluff #le sserafim fluff

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undertheorangetree · 4 months ago

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How to Improve HOTD S2

This is truly just me feeling frustrated with the second season and screaming into the void. Feel free to ignore it I wrote it at 10pm in a hater spiral and probably have some information wrong

1. Shift away from the Alicent vs Rhaenyra thing and highlight Aegon vs Rhaenyra. It would be hard when zero relationship had been established in season 1 but after Jaehaerys’s murder it would have been SOOO easy to shift the focus of Team Green on to Aegon and make him really want to take Nyra down.

2. Speaking of Nyra I’m begging them to give her some agency. Her son was MURDERED. She spent TEN DAYS SEARCHING FOR HIS BODY. She should’ve been ready and raring to go to war at the end of episode one!! She should be doing everything she can to destroy those who took her baby boy from her!! Instead they had her crying about going to war and no one taking her seriously for 5 episodes. Let her be morally grey I’m begging you she is not a saint nor should she be

3. Introduce Ulf and Hugh WHEN they claimed their dragons. No one cares about their lives yet. Regular viewers don’t know who they are. They can talk backstory once you’ve shown why they’re important

4. While we’re introducing characters GIVE US SOME TIME WITH DAERON. Non book readers have no idea who he is. Establishing his place in Oldtown, the fact that he has a dragon, the dichotomy between himself and his brothers all would have been GREAT to see before they started throwing his name around.

5. More screentime for the younger generation! Helaena lost so much of her arc due to them removing her fall into madness (which I’m not mad at btw) but showing her grief would’ve still been nice. Baela is ride or die for house targaryen and that’s about all we’ve seen from her, plz give my girl some agency. Rhaena is angry about being cast aside and that’s got so much meat for character motivations but EVEN THE WRITERS ARE IGNORING HER AND GIVING HER ONE 30 SECOND SCENE EVERY OTHER EPISODE. Jace is also being done dirty, they should be establishing reasons why we should care about him and why he’s such a good heir before the battle of the gullet (which in an ideal world would’ve been where we ended season 2 but).

6. ENOUGH WITH THE HARRENHAL ARC!! The first few scenes were fine but now it’s just repetitive. Daemon wanting to be king in his own right came out of nowhere and will have zero consequences when we all know Nyra is just going to take him back when he’s done pouting. He’s literally just wandering around Harrenhal like a freak. That arc needed 3 episodes at the absolute max to establish the castle and Alys and the river lords and then he should’ve come back. I hate him but they’re wasting his character.

7. Aemond turning into a super villain?? After we established he regretted what he did to Luke?? Trying to take out his own brother for power is fine and I support you if that’s what you want king but maybe give us some more context other than “brother bullies you in front of his friends”?? Maybe my sister was just mean but that’s an average sibling experience as far as I’m concerned. It would have made more sense with the characterization they had already given him if Aemond had been given no choice but to burn Aegon in order to save him and take out Rhaneys and Meleys. The 180 into anime villain felt way too abrupt (like dany going mad sorry)

8. Alicent and Cole………… as much as I fly the Alicent is gay flag it could’ve made sense if they didn’t just immediately beat us over the head with it. We were immediately thrown in the deep end of them having a sexual relationship with zero context other than “everything you feel for me… as your queen” PERHAPS GIVE US SOMETHING MORE. I actually would have loved Alicent reclaiming her sexuality after 20+ years of having to fuck her rotting old husband but they went about it the wrong way.

9. Speaking of Alicent, I feel like they truly do not know what to do with Alicent. They took away every ounce of agency she could have had in order to make her a victim and now they don’t have anything for her to do. They just keep taking everything from her in a way that just shoves her character in a box while also trying to maintain her as one of the main characters?? It’s just all very odd to me

10. In that same vein, I feel like they don’t really know what to do with ANYONE honestly. Game of Thrones also had a big cast following multiple locations but somehow juggling between them all felt much cleaner than it does here. It’s as if they lose track of their characters and forget about them so they throw in a quick 30 second scene to be like “btw they’re still here!!”

11. I need more character interactions. Aegon/Helaena. Daemon with his children. Just people you expect to have some kind of relationship. I don’t think any of those characters have ever actually had a significant interaction with each other which feels absolutely WILD to me but

12. STOP WITH THE TEAMS!!! STOP IT!!! There is no good guy and bad guy here and there shouldn’t be. It’s a monarchy, a whole ass empire that has its roots in an even worse empire. None of the Targaryens are good. They aren’t gods. Rhaenyra has been completely screwed over due to the patriarchy but being a victim doesn’t make you a good person. She’s still sacrificing the country for her birthright. Let her be evil, morally grey, ANYTHING is better than her pushing against common sense in order to seem like a good guy. Aegon and co as well shouldn’t be portrayed entirely of super villains and victims. They’ve also done a shitty thing but at the very least give us some nuance no one is entirely good or bad.

13. This is nitpicky so it’s at the end but it’s called house of the DRAGON. I wanna see more rider/dragon interaction. I shouldn’t be introduced to a dragon the same episode it’s maimed (Sunfyre). You shouldn’t be telling me one of the main characters has a dragon when we haven’t so much as heard her speak about it (Dreamfyre). If a bond is so important between a dragon and it’s rider I want to see that bond

• IN THAY SAME VEIN why was vermithor letting nyra and daemon get all up in his grill?? They’re bonded dragonriders they’ve got their bestie, he doesn’t. Shouldn’t he have lit them up for that?? What makes them so special?? He’s barbecuing Targaryen bastards left and right but these two get a pass?? Why??

And now for some general overall complaints🫶🏼

1. Fix your pacing I’m begging you. They could have made 8 episodes work if they had let us move through the plots faster but instead there’s so much dead air. After Jaehaerys was killed we should’ve been FLYING through plot points. Two child murders are enough to declare a war started, but we still hadn’t seen any battle until episode 4 and then it stalled out again. Harrenhal doesn’t need this much screentime. You don’t need to hint at Rhaena claiming Sheepstealer for 3+ episodes. We don’t need to hum and ha about going to war for 4 episodes. There should be fewer long shots of the actors faces simply reacting and more SPEAKING. More PLOT. MORE OF ANYTHING TO MOVE THE STORY FORWARD

2. Stop repeating information. Characters constantly beat you over the head with the same information over and over again. One character will tell a person something then a second character tells that same person almost the exact same thing an episode later it’s like no one proofread the script.

3. Why are you having your actors use giant words in order to sound more period accurate?? You don’t need to repeat lickspittle every five seconds. You don’t need to use gainsay or comportment. I promise your audience knows it’s a medieval setting, put the thesaurus down you sound like an idiot

4. It’s almost totally inaccessible for non book readers. I watch with my mom and sister, neither of whom have done any research about ASOIAF but have seen GOT, and I’m constantly explaining shit to them. The showrunners rely too much on people having read them that they don’t explain anything. I know Helaena has a dragon, but they don’t because NO ONE HAS MENTIONED IT BEFORE!! BY THE SECOND SEASON!!

5. This is just a me thing but I would’ve LOVED more regional costuming. We got a hint of it with Sabitha Frey wearing a headpiece when treating with Jace and I love the idea of each region having their own specific fashion trends. The costumes are fine, some are even great, but most are lacklustre and feel too fantasy to me. I’m a history girly I want to see more hoods and headpieces and different shapes in the dresses etc etc.

Despite all this there are still some great scenes!! Aspects of this season were awesome and I think the first two episodes in particular were really strong, there is just so much lost potential this season and it has been really disappointing. I’m still gonna be sat for the finale this week but I hope that they really up their game in season three

#hotd #anti hotd #technically #but not really??#idk I still enjoy the concept

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a-star-that-burns-brightly · 4 months ago

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Man sometimes I just think about how Haruka's newfound confidence had very, very little to do with his forgiven verdict.

MILGRAM Portal Timeline (2020/12/15, Kotoko's Birthday) Haruka: Um, Koto-Kotoko-san. I h-heard that it’s your birth, day…… Kotoko: Ah, that’s right. ……what about it? Haruka: !! A-ah, no, um, it’s, uh, nothing…… S-sorry for, bothering… L-later……! Kotoko: ......what was that about??

MILGRAM Portal Timeline (2021/4/19, Fuuta's Birthday) Haruka: U-uh, um, Futa-kun! Um! Um!! Fuuta: Huh? Shut up already… Didn’t I already say not to make a big fuss about my birthday. I’m not some kid who gets excited by stuff like that anymore! Haruka: ……?? Ah, er, i-is it your birthday……? Th-that, ah, um, h-happy birthday…… Fuuta: ………… You will tell nobody about this conversation.

Both of these conversations take place after Haruka's verdict was set-in-stone in September, and in both of them (mainly Kotoko's) he still shows an immense amount of nervousness and low self-confidence. You could say that he slightly improves in the Fuuta conversation, but Haruka has always liked him because he gives him attention, so I think it could be chalked up to him just feeling more comfortable around Fuuta

(x) Haruka: The ones who often talk to me are Yuno and Mahiru and, uh, Mikoto. Haruka: Also Fuuta. He's a little scary, but he pays attention to me. I sometimes speak to Muu as well.

However, things really start to take a turn for Haruka when...

MILGRAM Portal Timeline (2021/06/22, Haruka's Birthday) Muu: Haruka-kun, are you awake……? Happy birthday. Haruka: M-Mu-san? I… I-I’m awake…… Th-thank you, very much. I’m… glad…… Muu: ………… Shall we talk? You know, recently I’ve been pretty interested in you. Haruka: ……!! I-in me…? Hehe, hehehe…… interested, in me.

This timeline conversation marks the true beginning of Haruka and Muu's friendship to me. Even though they had talked before this point, this is where their relationship began to form, and also when Haruka really started to change.

MILGRAM Portal Timeline (2021/09/02, Yuno's Birthday) Haruka: Y-Yuno-san. Good morning! T-today’s your birthday, right……? Ha-happy birthday……!! Yuno: Oooh…… Thanks? You’ve definitely changed a bit huh, Haruka. You speak a little louder now, and actually look people in the eyes when you talk. Haruka: Eh, ah, i-is that so…… I wasn’t, aware of it myself, but…… Heh, hehe. Is that so. Yuno: Ding ding! My sensor is telling me…… this is probably a girl’s influence. Well, everyone here is slowly changing, I guess. Even me.

Haruka's change doesn't come from being told he's forgiven, it comes from being shown, for the first time in so long, what it's like to be loved and cared for by someone. And this love that Muu shows him is what makes him continue to improve himself, to the point where in his most recent interacts with the prisoners, he is not stuttering at all and speaking with much more conviction.

MILGRAM Portal Timeline (2023/12/15, Kotoko's birthday) Haruka: …Please be quiet about this. And you, please don't get involved. All I can do is ask this of you… Kotoko: Fufufu, fufufufufu. You're thinking some outrageous things. To be frank, it's abnormal. But I don't dislike it. If only all sinners were like you. Haruka: No… That's not it… I don't mean it that way… This isn't for me… it's to protect… so, Kotoko-san… please… Kotoko: Eh? Yes, yes. Well, I promise not to interfere with your plans. Even though I'd like to do it myself, I'll leave it to you. What happens after that… depends on Es, doesn't it?

Comparing this to the first timeline I shared in this post, it's so clear to me that Haruka's confidence was not motivated by the verdict, at least not as much, but was instead motivated by the love that Muu showed him. And I think that's very important for two reasons 1) It highlights how truly unhelpful the Milgram prison system is even towards the ones it chooses to forgive, because Milgram as an institution disavows rehabilitation 2) Even though this system continues to fail in helping these prisoners with what they really need, which is a chance to improve, that chance can still be offered by the ones they grow close to as exemplified by Haruka here (and though not the point of this post, Fuuta and Amane are also a good example of this). And that is so damn important to me

#haruka makes me so damn sad #he along with amane were the first characters I really latched onto when it I first got into milgram #and though both of them have been overtaken by kotoko haruka is still so important to me #{⚖️ after knowing all I wonder. can you really forgive them? 👁️}#~💫 a constellation!💫~#milgram #milgram project #haruka sakurai #sakurai haruka #milgram haruka

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oh-shtars · 5 months ago

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@cocoapowderpictures @signed-sapphire @ficsinhistory (+ others)

Guys, Wake Up!! It’s the ref sheet for the guy you were all happy to see mentioned in the last post ;3

Character Notes:

- Works as the Royal Announcer and as Rosas’ tour guide

- He’s of Greek heritage :)

- I decided to make red and black his key colours to symbolise his boldness and how he’s a secret rebel in plain sight.

- In the RFTS!AU, everyone above 18 has given away their first wish and afterwards, as many as they’d like. Flazino is 21 and like many others, has no idea what were or even how many wishes he did give away.

- Does he love Asha? Yes. Very much. Romantically? Nope. Are they just friends? Yes but also no.

- Acts like a very bouncy and outgoing guy on the job but is actually pretty reserved and calmer whenever he’s just being himself and casual. As a result, he gets exhausted for forcing himself to be extra ‘quirky’ while working.

- The reason he’s so “extra” on his tours is because he wants to make the most out of the only few highlights of his day. Flazino dreads the in-between moments where it just feels like he’s just….waiting. But for what exactly? With no memory of his wishes, he doesn’t have anything to look forward to the next day. Anything that could motivate him. Something that he could pursue. But there’s…nothing. (He hates staring at the ceiling thinking about this every night.)

- One of the only few dreams he does have is his love for learning/using magic. And Flazino is not planning to give that away this time. And thus, he hangs on to it tightly despite the fact its use is forbidden.

- Flazino gets little sleep in most some nights to read and learn about small-scale, simple magic-casting. (It’s the only time he could with minimal risk of getting caught.) It’s a way better thing than spending the night in dreadful emptiness and it’s a distraction from his otherwise, mostly bland day.

- Flazino also notices that he’s not the only person experiencing this weird emptiness. He just seems to be the only one who acknowledges it instead of pretending it’s “fine.” After a few years of waiting for his wishes that are probably never coming, Flazino attempts to negotiate with Magnifico for a “better Wish System” but he always ends up getting ignored though.

- Flazi sort of isolated himself in a way because he couldn’t stand the fake satisfied faces people are going with their lives. He was so damn happy to find out Asha has her own doubts of the king’s wishing system too. He basically stuck around after that.

Flazino: “I swear- I canNOT continue like this anymore. There’s something unfair about all this and I’m SICK of pretending there isn’t just because everyone says so- I don’t sound that crazy, right?”

Asha: ……………. Uhhhhhh No? I get it. Sort of??

Don’t you wanna get away? From the same old part you gotta play?

‘Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride,

It’ll take you to the Other Side!

‘Cause you can do like you do, Or you can do like me,

Stay in the cage, or you’ll finally take the key,

Oh damn, suddenly you’re free to fly,

It’ll take you to the Other Side!

(Can’t resist another “The Other Side” opportunity. It’s one of my favourite catchy songs and it fits well. X3)

#reach for the stars au #rfts au #wish au #wish rewrite #wish asha #wish flazino #rip the og Flazino who only got one deleted scene and that’s it (I think)#character ref sheet #Spotify

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choicesficwriterscreations · 9 months ago

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March MC of the Month: Evie Ayana

Please welcome March 2024's MC of the Month! Each month, we highlight one MC or OC on our Meet My MC / OC List. They are selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!

This month’s MC of the month is…

@cadybear420's Evie Ayana!

More below...

1..In your own words, tell us what you like most about Evie.

It’s hard to choose a specific thing… but most probably her drive to keep moving forward.

Before coming to Berry, Evie dealt with social anxiety a lot in her old schools. She didn’t have many close friends, she struggled to talk to people she liked, she had a little more insecurity about joining certain social/group activities, etc. And she’d lived in the same house all her life up until moving to Cedar Cove, so she wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about moving up north from the Bay Area and leaving behind what friends and memories and familiar places she did have.

She does start out as a little more impulsive and “holding herself back” when she first comes to the school– unsure how to respond to Brian at first, unthinkingly introducing herself as “Emma’s wingman” to Caleb, gives Hugh a startled look when they make eye contact at the school assembly. She didn’t have quite as much drive for change yet and wasn’t expecting much from the school, but she was definitely going to stick with the few friends she did make (such as Emma).

But one thing she did somewhat hope for was that Berry High was a new change of pace. And as Principal Hughs said on the first day assembly in canon, “That’s the great thing about a fresh start. You can be anybody you want to be”. This was perhaps the core motivator for Evie to start changing things. Soon enough, she comes to realize that Berry is sort of this “fresh start” for her, a chance to find herself in a brand new environment. She wants to be someone who is sure of herself, someone who can get shit done. And a school that strives to be welcoming to all is the perfect environment for that. That’s kind of what the OG HSS Trilogy always was to me. High school, but if it were, y’know, actually good.

So, Evie is partly motivated by the fact that the environment at Berry is much more welcoming, and partly motivated because of the opportunity of a fresh start in a new town. And so she starts to push herself out of her comfort zone a little and soon becomes a lot more outspoken, protective, proactive, and helpful towards others. Evie becomes a lot more confident through her journey at Berry High.

One major motivator for Evie is that her first friend and the one who takes her under her wing when she’s lost and nervous at the start of her first day, is Emma Hawkins, a socially awkward wallflower. So right away, she has some companionship with someone she can relate to a bit. And not only that, but seeing someone as socially awkward as Emma have no problem extending kindness to her, kind of motivates her to do the same with others.

Another major green flag for Evie is also probably in her involvement in sports. In Evie’s old high school, she had considered joining football, but was nervous about it due to the team being all guys and not co-ed. Evie is fairly secure in her enjoyment of certain sports and wanted to join the football team at her old school, but was nervous about not being allowed to join and seeming like an idiot for trying to do so. She had heard that some schools might make exceptions for girls who wanted to join, since there generally wasn’t a girls’ football team, but she was still very nervous about the possibility of “sticking out like a sore thumb”.

But since she was most familiar with Caleb of all the people she saw in the cafeteria and knew him to be a friendly guy, I had her sit with him and the other jocks at lunch that day to maybe get the chance to know more about the football team. Much to both of our surprises and delights, the sports teams at Berry are all co-ed and Caleb and Julian encouraged Evie to join football. And the best part? As she was on football, basketball, and baseball, she was treated like yet another part of the team. Rather than being pathologized, patronized, sensationalized, or tokenized for being a female football player/jock on a team of mostly guys… she was just treated as normal (Sonic Boom Knuckles would be proud, haha). As per canon, Brian did make a few comments to her during that one mini-race, but Caleb nonchalantly shot them down.

And lest we not forget her beloved Aiden Zhou. He’s passionate and dedicated to his creative craft; but also shy, reserved, socially awkward, and afraid of coming off as a screw-up or a failure in social interactions. A major reason why Evie is so drawn to him (along with her finding him incredibly attractive) is that she sees a lot of herself in him, and she can relate to him. She sees how passionate he is, and that inspires her to do better herself. It inspires her to keep doing better. And as she works to improve herself and move past her own struggles, she can sort of connect with Aiden and help him with his struggles as well, as she understands to some degree what that sort of social anxiety feels like.

2...Do you feel Evie is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

Evie is very based off of how I am, especially when it comes to the little details. She’s a cat lover, she’s a picky eater and especially hates spicy food, she’s fairly into sports and writing, she’s obsessed with scented products and cute stuff, she’s pretty horny-on-main, and a lot more. I had Evie be a jock in each of the three books because I myself was involved in sports when I was in high school (though I was more of a track-and-field/runner and I didn’t really have a lot of experience in football, basketball, or baseball; meanwhile, Evie gets experience in each of those). I can’t play an instrument to save my life, and cheerleading is absolutely not my thing, and so the same applies to Evie.

But in a more general sense… Evie is partly based off of who I am, and partly based off of the kind of person I aspire to be.

When I was in high school, I sort of dealt with social anxiety a lot, and even now I still struggle with it a fair bit. I did get along with a fair amount of people, but it was on a very superficial level with most of them and so I wouldn’t exactly have considered myself “well-known” back then. So I’ve imagined the same for Evie.

The difference, of course, is that Evie is much more outspoken, social, and heavily proactive in the school community than I was when I was in high school. I mean, I was a bit like that myself every now and then. But with Evie, she sort of gets more opportunities to be that kind of person, and she had somewhat more drive for it. And that’s what allows it to manifest. That doesn’t mean her anxieties go away by any means, she just becomes better at managing them.

Though, one thing I’ve liked about generally being more shy and reserved is that it did sometimes help me stay a little more aware of boundaries, if that makes sense. Evie is much the same, and although she becomes a more confident person throughout her story, that doesn’t mean she also can’t be aware of boundaries– and that especially shows with how I had her approach her crush on Aiden in the first book.

Evie took a slight interest in Aiden when she first met him; it started out as superficial, but it developed into an actual more deep attraction when he invited her in to listen to him play. She’d sort of push herself to talk to him and hang out with him, but for the most part, she knew not to explicitly flirt with him (not that he’d really have minded in the game but yeah). Occasionally she’d be a little bit forwards with him by accident (see: teaching him how to do “sexy moves” at Brian’s party), but wouldn’t express explicit attraction to him until when he asked her to homecoming and admitted he did like her.

And once she knew that he liked her back, she was much more comfortable with explicitly making romantic gestures/moves onto him. I’d never gotten that far with any of my high school crushes, but if I had, I certainly would have been the same. (It’s also worth noting that the more I replay the series, the more I feel like Aiden and I both share similar qualities as well, so naturally I envision Evie as someone who can relate to him).

A final MAJOR way in which Evie and I are very similar is how very GNC we are. I’d say Evie is a lot more openly masc/butch leaning than I am, especially appearance wise (as much as I wish I did, I do not have defined muscles like Evie does, lol). She prefers to keep her hair short; she loves masc clothing like pantsuits, tuxes, boxers, and swim trunks, and she takes pride in her more masc body figure. Similar to me as well, there are a few feminine-associated things (for lack of better wording), such as flowers, glittery/sparkly patterns, heart shapes, general cute stuff, etc., that you can pry from her cold, dead hands. But there are certainly a lot of feminine-associated things she has a distaste for indulging in, such as wearing short shorts or high heels or doing cheerleading– not because they’re “feminine,” but quite simply because they just aren’t her thing. We also both have major bottom dysphoria and would rather die than ever get pregnant.

3.. What is most important to Evie? What is their motivation in life?

Stability.

Not just being sure that she can end up in a good point in life and nothing changes from that, but also being sure that if things do change, she will be able to manage it. Even when things are at their worst point, she wants to do what she can to fix the problem and make the situation better.

For a lot of her life, Evie has been very unsure about what specific thing she’d want to be doing in the future, and while she agrees with the “it’s okay if it takes a little longer for you to decide” sentiment that people tell her, she does also know that she can’t spend her whole life indecisive, and the fact that she’s still figuring things out frustrates her sometimes. And as I’ve mentioned before, her and her dad’s move to Cedar Cove was initially very hard on her. Even as she gets settled in Berry and Cedar Cove, she worries about anything that could possibly disrupt it.

A big contributor to her drive for stability is her parents’ history. After her dad Scott and Emma’s mom Julia had gone their separate ways with university as per canon, he’d eventually meet a woman in his year but with a different major. Her name was Rani, and he’d fall in love with and marry her after they’d both got their graduate degrees. Rani eventually became pregnant, but it was only a few months into the pregnancy when she realized she was not interested in being a parent.

Scott, of course, had always wanted to be a dad, but he respected Rani’s decision. So, due to this contrast of life goals, the two divorced on amicable terms. Rani was okay with carrying the baby AKA Evie to term (though Scott was okay with it if she wanted to terminate the pregnancy), and after that she’d simply take on the title of being Evie’s Auntie Rani. And it was heartbreaking for both of them because they were otherwise a perfect match.

Evie knew the full story growing up, and while she did not resent Rani at all for leaving, knowing that story had amplified her own cautiousness– particularly when it came to her own romance. She’d crushed on Aiden, wanted to be official with him, and fell in love with him long before he did with her for each of those points, but she didn’t want to push anything too suddenly onto him. Often, she’d wait until moments, such as when Aiden confessed to liking her after asking her to homecoming or when he confessed he loved her at prom, before she’d start taking things further. She wouldn’t express romantic gestures and attraction to him until after he said he liked her. She wouldn’t confess her love to him until after he confessed to her.

That doesn’t mean she’d never initiate, though. She’s the one who took Aiden outside to talk about becoming official, even though he ended up being the one to ask her to be his girlfriend. After their moment on Hearst’s rooftop, she had started making plans to ask him to be her date to homecoming (but of course, Aiden beat her to it). And she was the one to (as per my headcanons) dip him in their first dance at homecoming and (as per canon) initiate their first kiss during that dance.

And make no mistake, all those moments– learning Aiden liked her, having a steady relationship with him that year, to the point of them becoming official in late February and him confessing he loved her at the end of prom, and seeing Aiden become a more confident and self-assured person throughout their relationship… she was incredibly happy about all of it. But in the back of her mind, she sometimes couldn’t help but think it to be too good to be true. Sometimes she feared that they’d end up the same way her dad and her Auntie Rani did: a seemingly perfect couple at first, all until one singular but major area of incompatibility.

Later on in their relationship, she would start to become fussy over making sure Aiden actually enjoyed what he was doing with her, telling him she didn’t want to force him to do anything he didn’t want to do. This would become a point of contention between them, as Aiden would be a little upset at Evie not being fully sure in his choices. But in the end, they’d be able to work it out together. To this day she still isn’t fully sure about what she’d do if she and Aiden ended up separating, but she would become better at being able to manage any difficulties or disagreements between them. She would do what she could to better the situation. The two would eventually get married (Evie being the one to propose), having talked about it prior and both being sure that they were happy with each other.

As for everything else in her life? She does slowly become more welcoming to change. As of now, I don’t imagine her going through a lot of sudden changes in her life, but she does become more comfortable with the idea. A year after they marry, Aiden and Evie move out of Evie’s old house and into a cozy apartment in the Bay Area, and then move back into Cedar Cove but in their own home when they decide they want to have kids. Events like these where Evie does have a bit more control over the situation, do help her get used to the idea of major change.

4.. What are Evie's biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

Evie loathes gender essentialism, gender complementarianism, TERFs, and the like (Then again, any person with common sense would loathe those things, haha). But especially as someone who is very openly and proudly GNC, she just absolutely loathes them. She hasn’t experienced a lot of direct bigotry from TERFs herself, but to put it briefly, she’s been paying attention to their behaviors, and she’s not having any of their bullshit. Especially not with their blatantly two-faced behaviors towards GNC cis people (especially cis female athletes with even the smallest bit of “masculine” features, AKA people like her3). All the more reason why she sings her praises to Berry for having co-ed sports.

For something on a lighter note… she can’t stand spicy food despite her South Asian heritage. A bit of mild spice is alright, but very spicy food is just… she doesn’t get the appeal at all. She’s generally a very picky eater, even being averse to most South Asian dishes. And overly spicy food is probably the bane of her picky eater existence.

I imagine she just also dislikes… bullies in general. In her old schools, she would get bullied quite a bit, but she never quite knew how to stand up to them. So at Berry, she does try to change that, starting with standing up for her friends (like Emma) who get bullied. She aspires to be a protective girlfriend to Aiden and an overall reliable friend. It’s not always easy– such as when Isa and the hall monitors screw over Aiden and band and cheer, when band and cheer turn on the basketball team, or when Max and Kara frame her for sabotage. But she doesn’t let it stop her. She always tries to get through it, one way or another.

5.. If Evie could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

I’m not fully sure, honestly. I imagine there are lots of things she’d want to change.

Although it’s a bit more general, Evie would change… a lot of her past. She has way too many moments of “I look back on this thing I did in the past, and I fucking cringe at it.” She knows she’s grown from all that and has become a much better person, but it’s just hard for her to not feel bad about herself over her past mistakes.

For something that’s a little more specific, her parental situation is something she’s sometimes wished she could change. To reiterate, she does not resent Rani for leaving and understands why she did. But there have been times when she’s wished that Rani and Scott never separated. From what Scott had told her, Rani sounded freaking awesome to her, and she imagined she’d have loved having her as a mom, along with Scott as her dad.

Rani would sometimes visit them, taking on more of a title of being Evie’s Auntie. But she wouldn’t visit often because it could be very awkward knowing the past, especially so when she and Scott hadn’t fully moved past their feelings for each other.

Evie and Scott have had a very healthy relationship, but the situation with Rani has created some confusion for both of them. With Scott, he’s often feeling guilt. He’d told Rani that he was okay if she didn’t want to carry the pregnancy to term– Evie knows this and understands, but he sometimes feels guilty for having felt that way about Evie, even though it was before she was born. But he also sometimes feels guilty about giving Rani a pregnancy she ended up not wanting and seeing her carry that pregnancy to term even after realizing that, even though she had agreed to it at first and agreed to carry it to term anyways.

I headcanon a big part of why he’s extra sweet to Evie, on top of her being his daughter, is the fact that he sort of considers himself lucky to have ended up with Evie. Rani chose to carry the pregnancy to term, even though both she and Scott were well aware that she was in every right not to. He’s always wanted to be a dad, and he got just that. So he tries his best to not take her decision for granted.

With Evie, she’s certainly fine with having just Scott, but she’s known the story of Scott and Rani’s separation ever since she was very young and it’s hard for her not to feel like she missed out on having Rani as a mother figure. But she also sometimes feels guilty for feeling that way, knowing Rani did not want to be a mother.

At one point or another though, she does come to terms with her parental situation. Rani would come to visit more often when she could as she and Scott were eventually able to move on from each other.

6.. What is Evie’s favorite quote or song?

I don’t think Evie can really pick just one song, haha. Though Evie can't play an instrument for shit, let alone compose a song and a lot of the musical terminology Aiden uses is mostly just pure jargon nonsense to her… she's quite the enthusiast for good songs and soundtracks.

She excitedly raves to Aiden about her favorite soundtracks from movies, video games, TV shows, etc. Often, she'll even recommend a show or movie to him partly on the basis of it having a bomb-ass soundtrack and almost 100% of the time, he will enjoy it, and they'll rave about the best parts of the soundtrack together.

So it’s a little hard for Evie to pick just one song (or one quote, for that matter). Probably something Aiden composed for her, but I’m not sure.

7.. Is there anything else you’d like to share about Evie?

I guess I’d like to ramble a bit about how fun it is to build the character of my OG HSS MC, both within the game and outside of it.

In Choices, I generally tend to prefer MCs with a more open-ended backstory and especially choices in what kind of personality they have and how they respond/behave/act. I know even the most choice-based story can’t account for every single granular detail about what we want for our MCs, but most of the time I just like being able to decide *who* my MC is whenever fitting. I like being able to make choices for the MC, and create my own backstory for them that sort of informs said choices, maybe even make two different versions of the MC that feel like completely different people from one another. (Truth be told, I’m a fan of any MC that’s allowed to have a spine and be proactive in the story, but the ones that are flexible in their character score extra major points with me).

OG HSS is definitely a series that allows for stuff like that, which is part of why both the trilogy and the MC are my favorites of all Choices. There’s a lot of variety in the kind of story experience you can have, and probably only two or three moments where default dialogue made me go “Evie would not say that”. Honestly, I don’t think the series would have had nearly as much of an impact if MC had only one activity they could do, or one singular specific backstory for Scott and their mom and their old school.

Although I haven’t really played as a MC other than “Evie Ayana” in any of my 7 playthroughs, I have tried a couple of different choices and routes for her. Once I’ve had her as a band kid instead of a jock, and I loved all the extra moments she could get with Aiden. Twice I’ve had her romance Michael, and as much as Evie would be attracted to him, they do not have all that much romantic chemistry (and so I’m making a new HSS MC for his route). One time I’ve even had Evie try and side against her own team at the basketball game in Book 2… and oh my God, it was so puke-inducingly out-of-character for Evie that I had to scrub it from my HSS screenshots history.

Once I’ve deliberately made mostly bad choices for her (outside of her activity), and it was quite interesting to see outcomes such as losing the baseball game, losing homecoming crown and guest-of-honor-– and most notably, how she can lose her tryouts spot to her respective Hearst rival if she’s been mostly awful to the Hearst kids, even if she’s otherwise good at the actual tryouts. Like hello? I can make my MC not be nice? And face consequences for it? I like. I’ve sometimes seen the HSS MC get flak for being “too perfect” or “too much of a fantasy” or “not having much personality”, and I’m just like, “Honey, with all due respect… they’re only perfect because you made them that way.”

I’ll admit, with the most recent playthrough I did to record Evie’s official storyline, I did make the choices that would lead to the “good” outcomes. But with most of it, I was just making whatever choices felt right for the kind of character I wanted for Evie and then let things take their course. I wanted her to be someone who was fairly good at her sports. I wanted her to become someone who tries to step up and be a leader, and someone who is outspoken about her opinions and stays true to them, but also knows her boundaries. But sometimes she can act without thinking and that does make her very self-conscious a lot of the time, even as she becomes more confident throughout her time at Berry. Some of it was more intentional– I did want her to be fairly competent at her activities. But other stuff like the homecoming/prom crowns felt more like bonus things for her.

Fun Fact: during my most recent playthrough, where I was recording the official choices and outcomes in the story for Evie, I kind of wanted a way to represent her lack of experience in baseball since I headcanon it’s Evie’s first time doing the sport. So what I did was I just took my glasses off and backed away from the phone screen a bit when the minigame choices were in session. And Evie did miss a few of the throws, but performed mostly successfully in the end, getting the tryouts spot and winning the baseball game.

I’ve actually gone through a couple of different “canons” for Evie, throughout each of my 7 playthroughs of the story. I’ve tried different routes and options for the sake of trying them out, but there are quite a few choices I’d imagined as “canon” for her that are now different. When I first played the trilogy, Evie was actually named “Cady Heron” after the main character of Mean Girls, my favorite HS-based movie (Scott calling her “Cady-bear” all the time is how I came up with my username). She had the blonde beachy waves hairstyle in the first book, and was a bit more openly flirtatious with the characters she liked (Aiden, Michael, and Maria), she told Koh’s secret to Isa out of panic and thinking that it would get Isa off of Koh’s back. I imagined her having figured out clear goals for herself by the end of the first day: take down Brian and Zoe, and get with Aiden+Michael+Maria.

But upon developing her character, I was sort of trying to make her a bit more like me. With that in consideration, Evie would have been someone who wouldn’t be so openly forward and would take secret-keeping pretty seriously. In my “Evie’s official choices” playthrough I did have her slip the secret to Isa, but it felt so wrong, and so I had to restart the chapter right after the choice in order to choose otherwise.

And I am planning to make a couple more OG HSS MCs too. One will be a male MC named Alan Parke, a cheerleader who is a total diva– he’ll romance either Maria or Emma, and he’ll be very flirty, preppy, and pompous. Book 3 would be a sort of a character arc for him where he may have to set his self-aggrandizing habits aside as he comes to sympathize with fellow male cheerleader Kieran, with whom he’s competing in tryouts. Another will be a female MC named Violet Jones, the one I’ll have to romance Michael. She’ll be a lot more suave and no-nonsense– she hates self-policing and is a lot more quick to call people out on their crap whenever she can, and will certainly have a lot more romantic chemistry with Michael than Evie did.

And I’m definitely gonna have one or two MCs that are utter screw-ups at everything in the game– crap at their activities, they don’t win the dance titles, they’re cold to the Hearst kids. And I also wanna do a couple of playthroughs that switch activities between books. Some that are more slow-burn in their romances. I’m even planning an “AU/alternate timeline” playthrough where Evie tries band (and is mostly crap at it). Agh, there are so many route combinations I wanna do in HSS!

Bottom line: it’s just really fun to give my MCs their personalities and make them feel like my own, and it especially applies with Evie. It brings me joy to build her character and share/discuss it with the fandom here (as well as seeing how others build their MCs too)!

#cfwc mc of the month #high school story #cadybear420 #meet my mc #choices fic writers creations #playchoices #choices stories you play #march mc of the month

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lou-struck · 1 year ago

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Bribery

Kei Tsukishima x reader College AU!

Prompt: study date +🍩

~Studying with Tsukki is hardcore, he always know just what to do to keep you motivated

WC: 2k

~This is one of the requested prompts for My Emoticon Expression’s Event; check out the masterlist on my welcome page

“You’re wrong; try it again.” Your boyfriend curtly says as he peers down at the study guide you have worked on for the last three hours. At times like this, you are thankful the two of you booked a private study room in the university’s library because you have not been watching your volume in the slightest.

“Are you sure?” You sigh exasperatedly. “I really thought this one was gonna be right.”

“Well, it’s not; you need to go back and check your work.” He replies, sliding the paper back over to you; it is completely covered in angry red pen marks from his corrections. It’s a bit discouraging, but you know he is only being hard on you because he knows how badly you want to pass this class.

His features soften as he looks at you apologetically. “you’ve got this, just take your time and break down the problem into parts.”

“I’m just tired; my brain feels like it’s not working.” you sigh, rubbing your temples. “Maybe I should just accept that I’m going to fail and skip the other stages of grief.”

“Not going to happen,” he laughs, using his taped fingers to give your forehead a fick. It doesn’t hurt at all, but you and your dramatic self flinch and whine “Owww” just to get a rise out of him.

“Oh really?” he asks, looking down at you through his glasses, “if that hurts, just imagine how you will feel when you miss out on that internship you have been wanting due to your grades.”

You freeze; you have heard about the internship he had mentioned since freshman year of college. Not only is it a paid internship, but if you were to take it, you would get credit for about four classes that you need to graduate. If you miss out on this, you will probably regret it for the rest of your student life. “Why did you have to bring that up? Now I’m stressed, tired, and hungry.”

He looks at you with amusement; teasing you is one of the highlights of his day. “You’re hungry?”

You cross your arms over your stomach for effect, “Starved, haven’t you heard my stomach growling?”

“Over your whining?” he teases, raising a brow.

“I-it’s not funny,” you stammer, “this is a real predicament; I can’t study on an empty stomach; we may be here all day at this rate.”

He sighs, his golden brown eyes betraying a softness that tells you that you have won. “Fine, if you are sure this is the only way to get you to finish your worksheet, I guess I have no choice.” he relents, getting up from his seat at the table and grabbing his wallet out of his book bag. He turns and points at you strictly, “Stay right there, and If you are not done with that worksheet by the time I get back, I’ll just give it to someone else.”

“Are you trying to bribe me to finish this worksheet?” you grin, giving him your best look of innocence that he doesn’t buy at all.

“Just get it done,” he says, turning towards the door and opening it quietly.

“I love you,” you call after him. He smiles and turns to walk down the hallway; just before the door swings shut, you hear a chorus of sharps’ shhhhhhhh’s’ from the studying students from the other side of the library. It makes you chuckle to yourself as you stare down at your angry red-streaked paper and try to figure out what you did wrong in that last problem.

It’s only been about eight minutes since your boyfriend went to get you some fuel, and your stomach is busy grumbling the instrumentals of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Your quiet study room is lonely, but you have managed to figure out what you had done wrong with the last problem, and to the best of your knowledge, it is correct this time. All you have to do is wait for Mr. Vanilla himself to come back and check over your work for you.

Curiously you flip to the next page in your workbook; if you can bust through a few more problems before Kei gets back, it would mean that you can leave the library much sooner, and maybe the two of you can make it to the Jurassic Park movie marathon in the quad you had seen posters for. It would be such a great surprise to take him there after this is all said and done.

Buying him a large tub of popcorn is only one of the ways you are planning on thanking your Volleyball-playing s/o for taking so much time out of his busy day to help you study.

With sunset in about four hours from now, you return to your work; this deadline gives you a much-needed spring in your step as you begin to get back to work.

The analog cock on the wall says that about another ten minutes have passed, and without your boyfriend’s presence, you haven’t been too motivated to finish any other problem other than the one he told you to do. They have been attempted, but you have only split the problems into smaller fragments so you can better understand them later,

‘Maybe I should’ve taken better notes in class.’ you think to yourself when your boyfriend comes back into the study room.

“Hey, you were gone for a while. Was the line at the cafe long?” you ask, tilting your head.

“In not heartless, you deserve something way better than the trash the cafe has to sell,” he says, stepping up to the table. The throw pillow-sized brown paper box in his hand just catches your eye when your nostrils are suddenly hit with a sweet and doughy smell that has your mouth watering.

“I bet you’re wondering what is inside?” he smirks, placing the box on the table; you reach out for the strangely familiar scent only for him to push it further out of your reach.

“Hey?” you whine. “Why did you have to do that?”

“Ha, Let’s see your work first, then I’ll decide if you actually get to have any of this.”

“Jerk,” you huff, tearing your gaze away from the box to look at his face. A dark mole on the corner of his mouth catches your eye. Curiously, you lean in a bit closer and realize that it’s not a mole at all...

It’s chocolate!!!

“Wait,” you say softly, never taking your eyes off the little speck of fudge on his cheek, “is that frosting on your face?”

With his thumb, he wipes it quickly away; as he licks his thumb, he looks at you evilly, “What? Someone had to make sure they weren’t poisonous.”

You sigh and turn away from him, arms crossed and a pout on your lips. “Just look at my damn paper already.”

“If you insist,” he grins, staring deep into your eyes. “Just know that if you take too long, your food will get cold.” The harmless threat shakes you down to the depths of your soul as he looks at you with gentle satisfaction. He slides the paper closet to him, and his eyes dart between your answer and your work before he looks up at you with a blank expression.

You gulp nervously as you try and fail to read his expression. Mentally cursing the fact that Kei Tsukishima has one of the best poker faces you have ever seen. “So? What do you think?”

“I think,” he hums, reaching out towards the mysterious treat box with long arms. He rests his hand on top of it before sliding it across the table in front of you. “You got it right.”

Your chest heaves a deep sigh in relief. Unable to take the suspense any longer, you toss o[into the box to reveal dozens of little doughnut holes.

Some look to be covered in glaze, chocolate, or frosting. While others look to be filled with various creams, jellies, or something else.

“Doughnuts.” you cheer, picking a chocolate-covered sprinkle out of the box and plopping it into your mouth. The still-warm dough seems to melt on your tongue as the sugar makes you feel alive.

As you savor the treat, he places some napkins in front of you. “Are you happy now?”

You nod and wipe your fingers with one of the napkins. “Extremely. What are all the flavors?”

“I dunno.” he says, “The shop was closing soon, so they just gave me a bit of everything for no charge.”

“That’s great; I can’t wait to find out,” you say, reaching for another donut hole only for it to be pushed out of your reach.

Upon seeing the look of confusion on your face, he laughs, “Did you really think it would be that easy? It’s a bribe.”

You look at the box longingly, “You don’t mean?”

“I do; every problem you get right, you get to have a piece.

“You can be so cruel sometimes, Kei.” you sigh, earning a genuine smile from him, flipping to the next page; the little bits of work you had done earlier are starting to make more sense as you look flip between the notes Tsukki left on your other page and the fresh problems.

“How are you doing?” he asks, looking over your shoulder,

“Does this look right so far?” you ask, pointing to the nearly complete problem.

“It looks perfect.” he hums, glancing over it carefully.

“Really?” you say with a light voice full of hope. Maybe the two of you will be able to make it to the Movie marathon after all.

“Yep, just keep doing what you are doing.” he says, “I told you before that you know how to do this.”

Only because I have the best tutor in the world, “you hum cheesily, leaning in a bit closer to him.

The tips of his ears turn pink at your world, and he looks at the box of donuts, “You’re not trying to get me to give you a donut early, are you?” he asks sarcastically.

“Nope, I want something else.” you hum, pushing yourself forward to catch his lips with your own. The kiss contains the lingering sweetness of the pastry you had just eaten, along with something a bit sweeter.

He kisses back far too eagerly for someone who had been relentlessly teasing you just a few moments ago. You pull back slightly and grin as he follows your lips stubbornly.

“Do you think you’re being funny?” he asks, placing his hand on the back of your head to keep you close to him.

“Just a bit; I have to tease you when I can since you are so good at teasing me.” you hum, giving him a devious smirk like the one he gave you earlier.

“You’re such a pain,” he chuckles, gently retaking your lips.

“But you love me,” you hum as he pulls away. A small smile tugs at his lips

“I do, which is why I can’t have you getting distracted,” he sighs, tapping your worksheet with his pen. “Let’s get back to work.

“You know, you could’ve just bribed me with kisses,” you tease, picking up your pencil. “They work just as well as the donuts.”

“Now you tell me,” he sighs. “If I knew earlier, I could’ve saved myself the effort of picking these up.”

“Nope, we need those too.” you laugh as you reach for the box.

With a gently yet firm grip, he grabs your hand and shakes his head, “Not so fast; get that problem done, and then you can have one.”

“Come on, just one more?” you plead at him with big eyes, “I need all the help I can get if I want to finish in time.”

“Time for what?” he asks, raising a brow. “Did you really make plans after this?”

“Plans for us,” you say innocently. “Please?”

“Fine, just one more,” he sighs. “But then we have to get back to work.”

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