#It’s a little smaller today
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The people have spoken! Here’s a doodle of robot gem from alsmp, my lovely askers!
[6]
#daily#geminitay#asks#anon#yayyyy I got to do my own flag :]#these make me so happy to get! Feel free to send more I love em#alsmp#It’s a little smaller today#hope that’s ok!
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Hi I love your art so much and I wanted to let you know because im not sure if you need to hear this or not but im proud of you. I was also wondering if you could draw charles and edwin laughing and being domestic on the couch? If not I understand and thank you so much for your contribution to this lovely fandom.
What do you think they're talking about?
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#personally i think they're gossiping#I thought i wouldn't have time to draw anything today but this took like 20 minutes#hooray!#their little feet touching is important. to me.#also yes maybe i made the couch smaller than it actually is#the couch is a good character and it will be whatever size i need of it#everyone say thank you office couch#also#thank you. i really do need to hear that every now and then
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I truly encourage you to add things that simply bring you joy to your list of things to do that day.
it doesn't have to be big, it can be as simple as making your favourite drink or food for lunch or spending some time on a hobby or watching a show you enjoy.
adding things to look forward to and giving yourself time to experience those things is just as important as doing every other thing on that list.
you're allowed to plan to do things for no other reason than it makes you happy.
#ive been trying to get a morning routine and just get a little better at life stuff but today its been so hard to get out of bed#and when i really examined it it was because i didnt *want to*#i thought about everything i had to do today and i didn't want to do any of it even the things id usually enjoy#so ive started smaller: listening to my favourite songs while i shower and making a nice breakfast#and it's helped a lot!#tips#recovery
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Is there anything in the world more satisfying than loading your arms with garments and heading to a dressing room with gritted teeth, expecting to find only one (or perhaps zero) items flattering, only to love almost everything you put on your body? Dress after dress. The DOPAMINE, am I right?!
#I even had to ask for a smaller size for a few of the styles#and I know we are all gorgeous at every size#and I love my body and so on#but I’ve worked very hard at the gym for almost a year now#and today was like a little treat for being so dedicated#I gave serious thought to texting the trainer in gratitude
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past me squirreled away so many little bread crumbs over the years to lead me back to information and records and things that I kept that I didn’t consciously allow myself to understand I might need someday again
#😭#crying in the bathroom a bit about it not gonna lie#I had so much evidence. so much proof#not of everything or many of the big things but of so many smaller things#and it’s been there all this time. I saved it and forgot about it and trusted that future me would follow the crumbs back to the note the#journal the email the flash drive the screenshot the sketchbook the post it note in a sports bag—#on and on and on#I saved so much#and then I saved my own self from knowing it#even when I would have wanted to use it earlier a few years ago#my brain protected it like I had coded it to#and everything keeps proceeding each year with me remembering more and more times when little me or high school me made silo-ing decisions#that shaped my safety without sacrificing the evidence or truth ultimately#I was much more cunning than I gave myself credit for after age 10 or so#I just had to hide it from my own self or I would have been made while still unsafe#brains are so powerful#and past me did something so kind for future me even though it was harder#and I’m really full of gratitude#this feels like something healing after how much trouble I’ve had almost passing out over and over today#I’ve always been looking out for me. I just haven’t always remembered that that was true.#shh Katie#cult escapee
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by the lighthouse.
dividers
#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha#so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over#i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble#the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday#so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now?#i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace#I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha#i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn#also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe#soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo#ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here!#sooo yaaa#~ art#💚 memoryshipping#also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔
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Yeehawgust 2024
Day 2 - Greener Pastures
Far, far into the earth we walked, until we reached the cavern's end.
#my art#my utmv art#utmv#undertale au#westerntale#yeehawgust#yeehawgust 2024#Smaller one today haha#thank yall for the reception on the first post :>#little environment meant to be the journey through the mines into Home when the monsters were first sealed#not the best at environments but practice makes perfect
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#i saw someone else's post about deleting social media for a while and tbh i think i might do the same#if you have my discord you know where to find me#if youre close to me you probably already know that im not well right now#i think i just need to shut the world off for a while and pretend im in a very small bubble where only surviving to the next day matters#im safe i have folks looking out for me and im feeling more lucid today than i have been lately#and if that changes i made safety nets to make sure i cant hurt myself#but I m gonna just step out for a while and plan on maybe not opening social medias other than discord till next year#i need to make my world feel smaller for a while and just stick my head in the sand until im in a safer place mentally#if youre reading this and youre in a place like i am know that youre not alone#know that its ok to close your eyes for a little while and be selfish#its ok to make your world smaller right now and take a break from fighting if you need to#i understand theres a lot of shame for not fighting for everyone else or feeling suicidal when other folks have it worse off than you do#idk right now im lucid enough to just say i cant think about that right now and thats ok#if you need to focus on just keeping your own feet on the ground for now thats ok#ill see yall next year. please still be here with me. im gonna try my best to still be here too
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My tribute to the star trek captain and the refrain that keep me going ❤️
#st voyager#star trek voyager#kathryn janeway#captain kathryn janeway#st voy#song is somewhere in the between by streetlight manifesto for anyone wondering#aesthetic#my edit#i know the characters in second lyrics image up right are a lil smaller but it ARTISTIQUE#i wanted the death part to be a little smaller today lol
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new friend!!
#personal#the art chronicles#love making these little guys smaller than my thumb#this one’s a little wonky but i just wanted smth to do w my hands today so wasn’t rlly trying to make it look as good as i should have lol
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Quick headshots of Viv-n-Vex !!1!!!
#jrwi the suckening#jrwi viv#jrwi vex#MyArt#need to work with a smaller brush more often#my style definitely benefits from it lmao#my guys my guys#calmer expressions here theyre a little tired or something#need to figure out their hair from something other than a 3/4 angle but that's a problem for later#quite a few art posts from me today#we stay on that grind
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me as a kid seeing that my strange addiction episode abt the carsexual guy: he. loves his car? wants to be in a relationship with it? huh. hm. lets the idea sit in the back of my head for 11 years.
me at 25 owning my own car and being an objectum/objectophile: ah. yeah. i get it now,
#cainramble#things i realize as i drive to work today glsrbkfnskf god#objectophilia#I JUST AUHHHG!!! I GET IT I!!! THEY DID A WHERE ARE THEY NOW EPISODE AND HES!!!#hes got like several cars n the way he describes them im like!!! FUCK GOD I GET IT NOW IT MAKES SENSE IT JUST CLICKS!!#my first car was an 01 chevy malibu and like. god idk the way it felt man it was like that sleazy middleaged man that stinks good n may be#brash and harsh but is reliable as fuck and will always have ur back LIKE AUGGH GGNRHGH FELT LIKE A pretty old man#whereas my current one is a newer smaller hybrid car that id akin to a twinky little jogger boy with a flashy color that u wanna. rjfbgnhg#IDK MAN I JUST I GET IT NOW HES SO BASED AND RHRGGHGN#n i dont mean like im humanizing my cars i mean like. the cars are Cars thats just the vibes/personalities they have to me
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installed a hawk screen over the rats' forest clearing in headspace so we don't get another hawk attack 👍
#it shimmers it's like an almost fabric almost glass material it makes the sunlight look very pretty#and it's all in a hexagon pattern so the light on the forest floor looks like it's coming through stained glass almost#with all the hexagons being at different angles from floating slightly in the breeze#almost looks like water#the hawk attack was why carabiner rat got trapped in paracosm recently#a bunch of hawks tried to attack all the little rat houses in the woods#.... didn't even know we had hawks in here.#it was like 5 of them at once too#one of them destroyed rat olive's house :(#also we found Rue's little den in the clearing! they hadn't shown anyone else until today#it's a little underground moss den and it's SO cosy and they have so many tiny items from the dollhouse the body had as a kid#most of their soft furniture is made of moss and their tables are just bits of wood#their den is very little the owen rats struggle to fit#Rue is very little. like half therapy rat's height. since they're a mouse not a rat (lantern mouse technically)#rue is even smaller than olive#('throwable!' - therapy rat)#we have a VERY throwable rat in here its name is burrow and its half rat half DRAGON it loves being thrown like a paper airplane#it has no affiliation to the mc rats it's just Here. was a brainmade from long before we knew abt the smp lol
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🫥
#random personal stuff#whining ahead feel free to ignore#after a little over two weeks with my family I guess it was hard today to go back to church here and#be reminded how easy it is to feel utterly disconnected for some reason#I have a small amount of friends whom I do very much appreciate#but otherwise it's like going through life in a glass case#which is probably my fault somehow#anyway I miss going to a smaller church (it got assimilated into this huge one)#and I miss smaller more intimate Bible study groups#there are more people around now whom it's not easy to be real or vocal in front of#(including the lady who once asked if I were one of the then-pregnant women and can't remember my name etc.)#and that's not their fault and they have every right to be there#it's just a different dynamic and unfortunately it's one that I haven't figured out how to be comfortable in yet#feeling like you belong with particular people is just really hard you know?#it has to be earned and proven and mulled over sometimes for years#before it's ever even believable#I got assigned a while back to consider why the whole disconnect thing#still drawing a blank#probably supposed to have an epiphany about what I'm doing wrong#if so can it be shipped a little faster because I don't have time for this nonsense
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Ooooookay so not sure im gonna keep going to walmart to get my groceries unless absolutely necessary cuz the one closest to my house is awful
Its fucking massive. The app tells you the wrong aisles for everything. And there were way too many fucking people. Not a fan.
#also experienced some culture shock going into a gas station and the cashiers being behind bullet proof glass#theres also like. armed guards at the smaller grocery stores#walmart did not have guards#by the time i got to the gas station from walmart my brain was so fried i couldnt register that there was a keypad on the pump#i normally pay inside anyway but i didnt really feel like talking to anyone after walmart#but then i put my card in and it was like “enter your pin or hit enter to continue”#and for the life of me i could not find the damn keypad#so i went inside anyway#and then once i started putting gas in my car THEN i saw the keypad#which i probably looked directly at before but ugh#I FORGOT TO GET GRANOLA BARS AGAIN#AHHHHH#im so tired#im so glad my job requires very little mental energy#cuz i dont know that i have the bandwidth for anything else this week#and its only monday#but i can handle work#work is easy#i mean the project im working on rn is annoying but its not HARD#the boxes are just messy as fuck and it takes awhile to sort through#like fucking hell why you gotta just shove the papers in and get them all bent out of shape#this is a mess#also me and my mom apparently both wanted toaster waffles today cuz we both bought them on our respective shopping trips#so we're stocked up for awhile lol#same kind same size box and everything lol
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crying screaming throwing up. to make this work i had to just... give every single piece of code in the game ReadWriteExecute access on cards, i think? which is probably bad but trying to do this otherwise made me want to chew my arms off and i see instances of that being done in upstream code. they've apparently designed infrastructure for some kind of c++-style Friend access and i'd love to just set decks as a friend of the card system, but it's unclear how i actually do that. i can find places in the physics code where they have defined what Friend access can do but nowhere can i find anyone registered as a Friend of the physics code. i don't know enough to know how i should be designing this, i just know enough to be getting hives from what i'm doing. good thing i'm not trying to PR upstream
also i haven't actually made sprites for anything other than a 1 of hearts. that's being done with modular sprite layering and i only made sprites for 1 and 'of hearts' to figure out the sprite layering system and toggling it for 'flipping the card over'. and then i spent several hours in the 'can i actually set public fields on a CardComponent from another entity' hole
technically a decent chunk of that time was spent tearing my hair out because i was trying to make the list of cards a literal Stack and plug an existing List into the constructor. which is valid c#, but for whatever reason ss14 fucking explodes and shits out a 30 mile long stacktrace related to failure to deep copy if you do that. so i had to wander into a stackexchange thread pointing out you can just call Pop() on a List which was not clear to me from the official c# docs
also this is the least robust code (lol) possible because i'm just trying a bunch of shit to see if it works. so if you draw all the cards in the deck and keep drawing, the client explodes
#honestly a miracle i managed to do this today i feel like absolute garbage#also i didn't realize i could add a scale factor to the sprites so i'm trying making the cards a little smaller.#i think this looks okay? maybe? any smaller than this and they start looking REALLY bad when rotated
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