#Is that what it’s called?- I’m not even sure rn
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chrollohearttags · 2 days ago
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love thy neighbor • r. sukuna
(Y/N) moves into an apartment complex on the other side of town and winds up living right next door to one of the most notorious drug dealers in the city nonetheless! But looks can be deceiving…
📝: black!fem plus size reader, plug!sukuna, age gap (6 years or so) mentions of toxic relationship and baby trapping, religious trauma, anxiety, alcohol + drug use, comfort + fluff and angst to smut, missionary, prone bone, oral sex, reader cries during, daddy is used a couple times, size difference, lots of kissing, positive affirmations, creampie
wc: 3.0K
🎙️: I swear imma get back to posting regularly! I’m just being lazy and hating my writing rn (it sucks) 😭 but I hope y’all enjoy
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you didn’t know what to expect when you found yourself residing on the same floor as plug!sukuna..it was your first time living on your own. Fresh out of your parents’ house with minimal belongings and all of the savings you had managed to scrounge over the years. Enough to cover first and last month’s rent with some extra left over..working as a receptionist in a local doctors office by day and offering online tutoring services at night to suffice your income. You'd return home from your shift, ready to relax by at least eight o clock..meanwhile, plug!sukuna was just beginning his night. Heading out into the streets to do God knows what until the early morning hours. But he’d never leave until he’d done two things: said hello and made sure that you were straight. You never really understood the logic behind it..especially considering the fact that you weren’t exactly close friends or even acquaintances beforehand. Hell, he didn’t know you at all and yet, he was just as kind as an old lady bringing you cookies to welcome you to the neighboorhood.
nonetheless, plug!sukuna would always tell you “..keep that door locked, don’t answer that shit for nobody and call me if you need anything, aight?” his deep voice was the last voice you’d heard for the evening and the first when you awoke in the morning. Sometimes, he’d even bring you breakfast per your request and you’d eat together. You’d cut off all ties to your controlling, religious fanatic family and the narcissistic ex who’d all but attempted to stick you with a kid you didn’t want and turn you into his personal doll…trapped inside of the house with no purpose other than to serve him. It was the way all of the men in your former faith operated. But you weren’t interested. Not in the slightest. In fact, you wanted change so drastic, it’d make their goddamn heads spin! Over time, you’d grow closer to plug!sukuna. His second long check ins and warnings became full blown conversations as the two of you congregated downstairs in the pool area or at the mailbox for a cup of coffee. A cigarette dangling from his fingertips to go light once he went outside.
“I know this place seems nice and all from first glance but…imma let you in on a lil’ secret, baby. It’s all types of people who come here..looking for trouble and hell, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m part of the reason. That’s why I tell you to keep your door locked. Your pretty ass answers for the wrong person and somebody is bound to try and take advantage. ‘Damn shame I’d have to fuck someone up if something were to happen to you..”
plug!sukuna was sweet and endearing in his own right. But that’s what drew you into him..he was the very antithesis to what you knew men to be. Brutally honest yet so empathetic to your feelings. Rough as hell around the edges but a total gentleman. He may have done horrible things but he was a good guy..the best damn one you’d ever met. Unbeknownst to him, you’d watch him from the window leaving out; others surrounding him in the parking lot in similar cars. Blacked out with tinted windows..doing sleight of hand to pass something to other tenants who you’d recognized. Only what you could assume to be drugs. A couple of the guys you’d recognized from church, talking to deacons and pastors..now it’d all made so much more sense. Even so, plug!sukuna kept you out of that part of his life as much as possible. Eventually, some months would pass and it was a secret to no one that you’d grown quite fond of him..damn near smitten even.
however, plug!sukuna was adamant on not taking it there with you! He’d admitted himself that you were beautiful and in another life, any other circumstances..he wouldn’t hesitate to make you his. The problem was, you were still too vulnerable and he was knee deep in a lifestyle he wanted you to steer clear from. You were healing from years of trauma and downright abuse..trying to navigate this world on your own. If he were any other scumbag, he could have easily sucked you into his world and had you out here doing his bidding.
“(Y/N) baby..do you know how many girls just like you..who leave bad situations and end up in worse ones because some nasty motherfucker saw how vulnerable they were and used that to their advantage? How many girls went from being in the church to being on their knees for some pimp? I care too much ‘bout you to let that happen. I’m no good for you, I swear. You’d only end up hurt because I can’t give you all of me. Shit, I can’t even promise I’d make a good boyfriend. I’m selfish as hell, I’m always gone..I’ve slept with more women than I can remember. What could you possibly want with somebody like me, huh? What could I possibly do for you, (y/n)?”
but you saw right through plug!sukuna’s facade. He was gentle at heart..a romantic even. He wanted his person to spoil and adore just as much as you did. The streets were his only love for most of his life. He’d seen many things but nothing quite like you..those round, doe eyes; so innocent and pure. Pouty lips, chubby cheeks and the soft, ringlet curls that surrounded that gorgeous face. That soft, plump body and those thighs that rubbed together when you walked away. He wanted to devour you whole sometimes..many nights had plug!sukuna lied in his bed next door, thinking of you being on top of him. Those perky breasts jiggling as he bounced you up and down on his cock. Those nails clawed at his chest as sweat poured down his skin. But those thoughts were far too lewd and disgusting for someone like you! He was ashamed of even having them. But he couldn’t help himself..especially when that sweet, airy voice all but begged him to take you.
“Because I love you, Ryo..I love everything about you. Even the bad shit. I don’t care what you do because it’s not who you are..you’re the man that brings me food and coffee in the morning so I don’t have to rush before work. You’re the man who kisses my forehead when he leaves because you know, deep down..it could be the last time I see you. You’re the man who calls me every time he hears a gunshot or sirens because he worries himself sick about me when I’m not near him. You carry my laundry baskets and groceries, you clean my apartment while I’m sleeping because I’m too tired. And not once have you ever tried to touch me. You never made me repay you with sex or anything. You could easily hurt me and you can’t even bring yourself to raise your voice, even when I’m dead fucking wrong. No one has ever cared about me that much, boyfriend or otherwise and I don’t give a damn if you sell drugs or blow up buildings. A man who’d do all of that for me and never asks for anything in return is exactly who I want.”
plug!sukuna found himself dumbstruck for the first time in a long time..standing there with your small hand cradling his chiseled jaw, tears streaming down your face, he’d find that his own eyes were welling and burning. He’d never heard anyone speak about him in such a way. “Damn, I guess you can read me like a book.” Hell, he’d never acted that way with anyone else either. Yet here he was, treating you like a princess. He couldn’t pretend anymore..he had to be honest with you..and himself.
“I—I love you too, (y/n). So much..”
“Then make me yours. Right now..right here.”
“you know once we do this, we can’t go back..”
“Please..leaving the past behind is kind of my thing.”
it didn’t take long for your lips to meet in a fiery haze, tongues intertwined in a moment of heated bliss. Your hands roaming one another’s bodies as moans slipped through..your clothes all but becoming discarded heaps on the living room floor like a movie scene cliche. His lips traced from your neck to your collarbone; slightly dredging his teeth along the skin in the process.
“Here, baby..take my hand.” plug!sukuna, in one fell swoop hoisted you into his arms as if you weighed practically next to nothing. Continuing to feed you those slow kisses, he’d carry you to a nearby wall and part your thighs. With your legs resting on his shoulders, he’d mark every inch of you. From your sensitive nipples which he cradled in his mouth to that pudgy tummy he loved so much to that juicy center, which was practically leaking for him.
“This all me? Just from some kissing?..” “This is nothing. I touch myself every night thinking about you..you should see the mess I make then.” plug!sukuna could barely sate his urges now, hearing how nasty this supposedly innocent girl was for him! He wasted no time slithering his tongue into that aching cunt. Swirling it around on that throbbing clit, spitting into those pretty pink folds and those succulent brown lips encasing them. He feasted like a man unhinged; greedy and selfish as fuck, just like he claimed. You’d grasp a hold of those dark reddish and black locks, grinding yourself into his face. Rubbing his nose in between your slit.
“Mmmph! Ryo…” “Yeah, fuck my face. Don’t hold back now. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”
plug!sukuna would eat your pussy until he heard you sobbing and felt that orgasm come barreling out. Your tight hole spasming on air as those juices trickled down his throat, chest and mouth. He couldn’t help but to laugh as he watched you writhe in pleasure. Attempting to push him away as you rode out that orgasm.
“Wha—how did you?—“ “What? I told you..I’ve had a lot of practice.” Choosing to omit the fact that he’d fantasized about you sitting on his face more times than he could count. Tossing you a wink and one final lick before carting you over to the sofa. Where he laid you down gently against the cushions…pinning those legs back whilst hovering over you. The entire time, he couldn’t take his gaze away from those gorgeous eyes..they glimmered so bright. Full of lust, adoration and excitement. No matter how much you smiled, he always sensed a certain emptiness behind them. A light stolen from you and now, he hoped to reignite it.
observing your movements, plug!sukuna began to chuckle when he saw you pawing at his crotch. So eager to unsheathe that hard on from his boxers. He could tell that the shy, bashful demeanor you presented was only a front. If given the opportunity, he could turn you into his personal slut with ease..but for now, he wanted to focus solely on making love to you. Giving you every part of him that he’d long to for months now. You’d examine his chiseled torso, reaching up to caress his abs and trace your fingertips along his various tattoos. But you couldn’t distract yourself from how large that bulge was..protruding and leaking with precum…
“Can I?—“ Go ahead, baby..take it out.” And without hesitation, you’d tug that elastic waistband back and let it spring forth. He was so girthy and long. Clean shaven and although he was erect now, you could tell he was huge even when flaccid. Nonetheless, plug!sukuna grasped those thick thighs of yours and mounted in between them; gliding that aching tip along your folds. ”Now you tell me if it hurts, okay baby? If I see you flinch or look uncomfortable, I’m pulling the fuck out. We clear?” And you knew when he spoke, that was law. Nodding in agreement, you’d consent to his terms as you rubbed your folds, waiting for him.
“Good..and tap my arm if you can’t talk. I’m ‘bout to start moving. You ready?” with your permission, he’d glide in slowly and immediately, he thought he’d seen stars! Plug!sukuna, by his own volition, had been with countless girls. From strippers to models, but never had he felt pussy this tight! The warmth immediately cradling him and not letting go. He’d suck his teeth before muttering a single ‘fuck’ under his breath. You were going to be some pressure, he was certain of it. But he’d continue on, gathering his footing and working that cock into your entrance. A single pop, along with wet, squishing sounds rang out across that living room as you lie underneath him.
“Goddamn…your shit feels incredible, baby. I know you had some good pussy..I can tell just by looking at you.” Forcing a wide, toothy smile on your face. You’d never heard him talk so vulgar but it was the side you’d brought out. He was officially obsessed!
“Yeah? Well I’ve been wanting to give it to for so long..I never thought you’d fuck me..”
“I kept you waiting, huh? I’m sorry..guess it just means we gotta make up for lost time then, huh?”
plug!sukuna was thrilled to know that he’d no longer have to hold back because you were on the same wavelength. You’d have no issues matching his energy..so with that, he’d speed up those thrusts. Pounding you with gentle but well paced strokes. The sound of your thighs and skin slamming together, coupled with the sounds of both your moans, made for a beautiful chorus. Your hands around his neck, scratching at his back; legs around his waist and his muscular arms planted right at your sides. Drilling you just as you’d requested and there was no limits between the two of you.
“Yes! Keep fucking meeee..oh my goodness. I’m gonna come again!”
“You’re so fucking cute..damn..” adoring how you sounded squealing and laughing as you met his thrusts. He couldn’t believe how receptive you were and how it took no time at all for you to open up.
“And you look so pretty taking all this dick for daddy. I can’t stop staring at you.” That deep voice showering you with praise as his thick cock thrashed around your insides. Even though you had always been a bigger girl, he made you feel so dainty and small..like a precious treasure he never wanted to lose. “You deserve this, baby..to get fucked just like this. To be spoiled and get whatever you want. I can put you up..you ain’t ever gotta worry about shit. Not a bill, not rent, your family..I got you, baby. I promise. I love you..” You believed every single word and clung to them with every fiber you had. You’d never had anyone treat you with such grace and care before..and that wasn’t the end. He’d continue doting. Telling you how proud he was of you and how far you'd come. How he admired your strength to get out of your situation…he was in awe. plug!sukuna would continue singing your praises until he looked up and spotted tears coming down your face. He was tempted to stop until you told him that you were just fine. He on the other hand..was struggling to maintain his stamina.
“No no..please don’t stop. You just make me feel so good. No one has ever fucked me like this.”
but that alone seemed to ignite a second wind and in a moment of haste, you’d find yourself flipped over into your stomach with his entire body weight shifted on top of you.
“You mean that, baby?” Those outer fangs of his teeth glistening and mouth slicked with saliva as he began pounding you once more..hands pinned to your back and his frame covering your own. The plumpness of that ass ricocheting off of him as he penetrated those walls. You’d come once again, dripping onto the leather couch and making that aforementioned mess he’d been dying to see. This time, his pace was rougher..less structured and sporadic. He couldn’t help it..he was running on pure fumes, trying to give you the first time experience you deserved. Tugging your head back by those thick curls, plug!sukuna fed you the deeper strokes he could muster until those chocolate eyes rolled back.
“Y-yes! This dick is amazing..”
“Tell me who it belongs to. Who’s this good pussy belong to now?”
“Y-you, daddy. It’s yours! Oh fuck..”
never having uttered such lewd words in your entire life, you reveled in the fact that he had been the one to bring this side out. And now, you were about to bring a side out of him. One far more vulnerable than the public witnessed..one that would beg you to let him come inside of you and cry out your name in sweet ecstasy as he did so. You’d feel those warm seeds pouring into your womb as he came to a halt and you welcomed them. plug!sukuna didn’t hesitate to swaddle you in his arms for kisses and comfort.
“I don’t want this to end..tell me it doesn’t have to, Ryo. Can we be this way forever?”
“We can stay like this for as long as you want, baby. I’m not going anywhere.“
and it was a promise he intended to keep. Not just as your neighbor or the guy next door looking over you. But now, as your lover and the man who’d never leave your side.
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yoongikapi · 2 days ago
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take this bc im sick in bed rn😭
you’re sick || ot8 || drabbles
fluff/comfort
atz masterlist
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
hongjoong:
⟢ this man’s leaving work early fs and rushes home to find you groaning on the couch
⟢ he covers you up with a blanket and brings you some water and medicine
⟢ he makes sure you have everything you need and settles on the ground next to you by the couch and slowly runs his fingers up and down your legs to comfort you until you fall asleep
⟢ “feel better honey, I’ll be here if you need anything”
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seonghwa:
⟢ when you wake up and tell him you’re not feeling good, his first instinct is to rest his forehead on yours; that’s his way of taking your temperature
⟢ he tells you you’re burning up and rushes downstairs to grab you some medicine along with something to drink
⟢ he slowly helps you sit up and feeds you the medicine and helps you with your drink, after he lays you back down he leaves the room to call out of work for the day
⟢ “I need to be here for my girlfriend, I’m not coming in today”
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yunho:
⟢ a date in the rain sounded romantic, but reality had other plans
⟢ as the two of you sat waiting for your coffees, you couldn’t stop your cough from ripping it’s way out
⟢ “babe you’re coughing a lot, are you feeling okay? are you cold?” without waiting for a response, yunho removed his jacket and placed it on you and then suddenly stood up and grabbed your hand
⟢ “maybe we should go home and get you warm, common babe”
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yeosang:
⟢ he knew something was wrong the second he heard your voicemail again after trying to call you for the third time
⟢ after arriving home, he was surprised to see you swaying back and forth in front of the microwave. grabbing your arm to hold you steady, he asked what was wrong before pulling you into a hug but you weakly pushed him away and whispered that you were sick
⟢ he took your hand in his and led you to the bedroom. he covered you up and wiped your face with a damp cloth before laying it to rest on your forehead.
⟢ “you left your tea in the microwave right? I’ll get it for you hon, stay in bed.”
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san:
⟢ the apartment was dark when he got home from work, when he flipped on the light switch he found you laying unconscious on the floor
⟢ panicked, he reached down and held your face in his hands until you woke up. after a couple minutes he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom where he drew a warm bath for you
⟢ he slowly helped you into the bath and whispered sweet nothings to you as you got teary-eyed, continuously telling him how sorry you were and how much of a burden you were. after getting you cleaned up he helped you into your softest pajamas and gently laid you into bed
⟢ “ baby you could never be a burden to me, I love you so so much. get some sleep”
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mingi:
⟢ you and your boyfriend have had this date planned for over a week and not feeling great wasn’t going to stop you from seeing him
⟢ hours pass by and you’re starting to feel even worse but you continue to hide it, that is until your boyfriend asks if you’re feeling okay
⟢ the sudden question made your knees weak and mingi caught you before you could hit the ground “I’m sorry, I’m actually not feeling great….”
⟢ “you have nothing to be sorry for, i’m sorry for not noticing sooner. lets get you home..”
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wooyoung:
⟢ “babe you don’t have to be here..” you coughed out to your boyfriend
⟢ wooyoung left work the second you told him you weren’t feeling good and rushed over to your place with some medicine, a heating pad, and whatever else he thought you might need
⟢ “honey I dont want you to get sick..” you continued but he ignored you, gave you medicine and laid out everything he bought. after plugging in the heating pad he rested it on you and laid by your side
⟢ “i dont care about getting sick hon, I just want you to feel better”
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jongho:
⟢ what was supposed to be a sweet date night resulted in a late night store run for medicine and extra water for you as you laid in bed, sick and waiting for your boyfriend to return
⟢ while jongho was checking out the items, an adorable, stuffed bear caught his attention. he immediately thought of you and quickly picked it up and scanned it before swiping his card and then ran back to the apartment
⟢ after you took your medicine, he pulled the stuffed bear out and cuddled it up next to you, you smiled and thanked him to which he smiled back. he laid down next to you and began to hum your favorite song
⟢ “i hope this makes you feel even a little bit better”
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dearissei · 11 hours ago
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Despite, despite, despite
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Karasu Tabito x Fem!Reader • Word Count: 1.3k
content warnings: idk this is cheesy as hell man i’m gonna be so real, no smut (crazy how i went from writing him + **** to this LMFAO)
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Your first meeting with Karasu is something you don’t even remember. A party hosted by a friend of a friend (of a friend, of a friend). While you do remember briefly making eye contact once across the room; you never speak. It’s not until a week later when the man messages you on Instagram with a cheesy pickup line that you truly meet him.
The DMs soon turn into texts which turn into late night calls and FaceTimes over lunch. He’s brash and he’s sweet and a little (a lot) dorky; but you find yourself falling despite.
It’s a bit embarrassing how quickly you find yourself falling into this thing with him. He texts you good morning and good night every day (and bombards you with his every thought throughout). Despite the familiarity, you don’t get to truly meet up in person. Schedules never align quite right, or the other has to cancel for a last minute work meeting (or a late practice in his case). Now that you’ve both finally found days to align after weeks of texting… you can’t help the nerves that claw from deep within your belly.
-> Good morning, beautiful
You smile at the text before opening your phone to respond as you finish getting ready, scolding yourself internally for the way you sway and cheese and giggle at his texts.
<- good morning, karasu
-> We’re still on for today, yeah?
<- unless you’re having second thoughts?
-> Absolutely not, I spent all morning prepping the food
-> So don’t cancel on me (I say begging on my hands and knees)
<- hmm i do love my men submissive
<- i GUESS i’ll still come
-> Kinky 😏
-> Can’t wait to see ur pretty face
<- cheesy…
-> Mean! It’s from the heart 😣
<- you like when i’m mean
-> No comment
-> Rule of the day: don’t bully me
<- no promises
<- i have my own rule: no kissing on the first date
-> Booooooooo
-> Jokes, I understand. Unless you change your mind because I’m so charming and handsome and you beg for it 😏
<- i lied, date canceled
-> Beautiful queen noooo pleaseeeee
<- you’re an idiot. i’ll see you soon <3
You try your absolute best to be nonchalant when there’s a knock at your door. Normally you wouldn’t ever give a first date your address… but between the hour long calls between you, is it truly a first date? You still remembered the way you muted your phone to scream into your pillow when you’d fallen asleep with each other over video chat for the first time. When his deep morning voice greeted you as a sleepy smile crossed his face when he’d seen you still hadn’t ended the call despite the fact that you were already up for the day, toothbrush in hand as you got ready for work.
-> I’m so nervous rn
You laugh at the text, checking the mirror one last time before going to the door.
<- not sure you meant to send that to me lol
-> No, I did. I’m hoping my vulnerability swoons you and makes me desirable
You roll your eyes before opening the door, smiling shyly up at him.
“Hi,” you greet, before your eyes fall to what’s resting in his arms, “what the fuck is that?”
“You look beautiful,” Karasu grins, before holding up what’s in his arms, “it’s our food for today! It’s a picnic, remember?”
You laugh at his words, stepping out of your home before closing the door shut behind you.
“Oh, I remember, but I’m confused as to why it’s in a… laundry basket?”
Karasu smiles shyly, moving the basket to his hip as he rubs the back of his neck.
“Ah well… I wasn’t sure what all you’d want,” he explains, “first I made bentos and then I was like ‘well what if she’s not super hungry’ so I packed smaller things, and then I remembered you saying you wanted to try those snacks you were talking about the other day, so I got them. And then—
You cut him off with a hand over his mouth, smiling brightly up at him.
“You’re ridiculous. But it’s sweet, I appreciate the thought put into it, really.”
Karasu grins at your words, holding his elbow out to you with a dramatic, “My lady,” before he begins his trek to a nearby park.
You don’t understand why you were so nervous before, falling into conversation comes easy with Karasu. He jokes and he tells you cheesy pick up lines, making sure to ask the proper questions; compliments you when you smile. It’s not long until you find yourself setting up your food, laughing again at the ridiculousness of the size of the basket.
“For you,” he says with a smile, handing you a small arrangement of your favorite flowers he had tucked away under the blanket.
He arranges a majority of the food as best he can, claiming proudly he made it all.
“Did you make this price tag, too?” You ask with a cheeky grin, holding up the sandwich he’d given you.
“I can explain!”
“I’m listening.”
He sighs exaggeratedly, throwing his head back.
“Okay I really WAS going to make everything but then I thought ‘what if she gets food poisoning?’ so I decided buying everything was safer.”
You don’t have it in your heart to argue with the flawed logic, so you find yourself thanking him instead.
You talk until the sun starts to go down, food long since ate (and the leftovers packed away nicely back in his basket). You’re almost… sad when he starts to walk you back home. You know he’ll text you when he gets home, probably insist to call you as well like he does most nights but—
“I don’t want today to end,” he sighs sadly.
You laugh at his bluntness, swinging your entwined hands as you walk down the sidewalk.
“I’m serious! I had a lot of fun today.”
You come to a stop when you eventually reach your front door, smiling up at him shyly.
“I had a lot of fun today too, Karasu.”
“Tabito.”
“What?”
“You can call me Tabito.”
Your cheeks hurt from how much smiling you’ve done, even more so when he doesn’t let go of your hand as he sets the basket down on the porch.
“I had a lot of fun today, Tabito,” you grin, “thank you for everything.”
He tucks loose strand of hair behind your ear, thumb brushing over your cheek. You know it’s coming before it even happens, (why do boys make that face before they kiss you) and you laugh when he frowns at the finger you’ve pressed to his lips.
“I don’t kiss on the first date,” you remind him, smiling despite the frown on his.
(You find yourself saying that many times over with him, despite, despite, despite).
“You’re killing me here, baby,” he groans, pressing a kiss to the heel of your palm, moving it to rest at the nape of his neck.
It’s mean, you know (you did promise no bullying, but you figure if you’re going to break your own rule, you can break his too).
Karasu squeezes your hands where they’re still entwined, his nose ghosting yours as you lean closer.
“What about the second date?” He asks, lips brushing yours.
“I guess you’ll just have to find out,” you respond weakly, hands fisting his hair before you press a kiss to the corner of his lips.
“Text me when you get home safe!” You call behind you as you scamper away, leaving him dazed on the sidewalk as your door closes behind you.
There’s a knock shortly after, and you’re giddy as you open it.
“Yes?”
“I was thinking.”
“Dangerous.”
“Hush, I was thinking… you wanna go get ice cream?”
You smile cheekily up at him, foot already out the door before he even finishes his question.
“You know, this isn’t a second date. It’s technically only an extension of—
You’re cut off by his lips pressing against yours, big hands grabbing your hips to pull you close. Despite yourself, you find your own wrapped around his shoulders.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have—
It’s your turn to cut him off this time.
“Don’t be sorry,” you smile, before pressing your lips to his again.
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blessedbyahuntress · 5 hours ago
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Blessed by Trickster
Chapter Twenty-Two: I'm Sorry- Have You Met Me? I Have No Temperance
Prev/Next
A/N: Giggling and kicking my feet rn. I love Hermes and Polites so muchhhh
Warnings: Swearing
Word count: 1k
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“What is happening?” You groaned, running your fingers through your annoyingly perfect hair. 
Hermes raised an eyebrow. You’d just spilled everything to him, and he hadn’t spoken once since. “Well, you’re turning into a goddess, Y/N.”
You stopped pacing your room to give him an expression that said, no shit, Sherlock.
Your mentor held up his hands in defense. “I’m as clueless as you,” he admitted. “I don’t know why this is happening, and, to be honest, I’m sorry for you.”
“Thanks,” you muttered, plopping down on your bed beside the god. “But what am I even the goddess of?”
Hermes stared at you like you were stupid. When you only gazed back, he sighed in exasperation. “Isn’t it obvious? You’re the goddess of the soul, Y/N. Humility, charity, chastity, kindness, temperance, patience, and diligence.” 
You froze, mouth and eyes wide open. “You’re joking.”
Hermes blinked.
“Kindness?” You demanded. “Temperance? Did it look like I murdered those sirens out of kindness and with self-restraint?” 
Hermes visibly flinched at your sharp tone. “Maybe I should go-”
“No,” you said, voice softening. You placed a hand on his forearm and looked into his eyes. “Please, Hermes. Stay.”
“I-” Hermes could barely remember how cocky he had been when he met you, struggling not to turn into a sputtering, blushing mess. “Uhm, yeah, I think I’ll stay.”
You smiled, leaning back. On instinct, Hermes sat behind you, laying your head down on his lap. You got a flashback to when you were suffering from the screams of the dead back in the Underworld, and Polites had done the same thing to calm you down. 
They say, ‘speak of the devil, and he will appear’, but it was as if the singular thought of Polites had summoned him. There was a knock at the door, and you frantically pushed yourself off of Hermes. 
“Y/N?” His muffled voice called. “Can I- can I come in?”
“Get out of here!” You whispered, pushing Hermes off of the bed. He hit the ground with a loud thump, not even bothering to catch himself, though you knew he was perfectly capable of doing so. “Hermes!” You said quietly. “Move!”
The gods’ eyes fluttered open, and he turned over to lay on his back, arms resting beneath his head, causing him to look completely relaxed. “What’s the rush, love?” Hermes asked loudly. Your heart sank; Polites had surely heard that. 
“Y/N?” Polites asked, softer this time. 
You scowled at the god on the floor, and he grinned up at you. You gave up with an annoyed sigh. “Come in.”
The door creaked open, and Polites slipped into the room, though he paused almost immediately. He stared down at Hermes with a look of utter confusion, eyes widening as they found sight of his winged shoes and caduceus that was propped up on the wall beside your bed. 
“Hey, Polites!” You greeted cheerfully. 
Hermes’s eyes narrowed, and you didn’t miss the mood change. 
“I- er- Lord Hermes!” Polites said with a bow. “I… didn’t expect to see you here.”
With a sudden burst of intuition, you leaned over the edge of the bed, trying to reach a hand over Hermes’ mouth- but you were too late. “Y’know, just helping Y/N with her ‘turning into a goddess’ situation.”
You groaned, putting your head in your hands. You felt Polites’s gaze burning into your skin. 
“What?” He asked.
“Oh, you didn’t know?” Hermes said smoothly. “Y/N is the new goddess of the soul. An immortal is currently traveling with your crew- a great honour.”
Polites gave you a look of complete betrayal, and you thought he was about to start lecturing you about how you should trust him with stuff like this, but instead, Polites’s gaze hardened. “Does Eurylochus know?” 
“Eurylochus?” You allowed yourself a small chuckle. “No. I only told Odysseus and Hermes.”
Polites blinked. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why Hermes?”
“He was kinda my mentor.”
“‘Kinda’?” Hermes demanded, placing a hand to his chest dramatically. “That hurts, Sunshine. I taught you so much!”
“You left me without a lesson for a month,” you deadpanned. You turned your attention back to Polites. “Listen, Polites,” you started. “No one else has to know.”
“Are you joking?” Polites burst out. “The whole crew would worship you even more than they do now! There would be sacrifices- and, and, feasts, and-”
“Worship me more than they already do?” You interrupted. “What does that mean?”
Hermes and Polites looked at each other, and then to you. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?” They both asked at the same time.
“You’re literally glowing, Y/N,” Polites added.
You held your arms out in front of you, annoyance flashing across your features as you saw the rosy aura around them. “No.”
Hermes rose to his feet gracefully, going to sit beside you. He put a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” His usual arrogant tone was laced with genuine regret. “Duties call.” And then he was gone, vanishing without a trace. 
Polites tilted his head as if contemplating something. “Alright,” he finally said. “I’ll keep your secret.”
Your shoulders slumped in relief, your arms returning to your sides. “Thank you, Polites.”
He smiled, understanding in his gaze. “Do you want to be alone?”
You nodded silently, and your friend exited the room. 
Polites shut your door behind him, but his thoughts still lingered in there. Hermes, who had called you ‘love’. Hermes, who had sent you glances throughout the whole conversation.
Hermes, who was obviously infatuated with you.
Polites could hardly compete with Eurylochus, forget a god. But he had to try. Aphrodite had faith in him, and he had to have faith in himself. 
He didn’t know what more he could do.
Taglist: @barrythestrawberry041 @thereigningking @m-carriaga2021 @jackintheboxs-world @fallenh34art @itzkingbo @sabrina-senpai @smartiepants217 @doodle-with-rhy @trashcannotbealive@uselessmoonlight@permanently-nothere @keikeiluvyou
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cyber-streak-2 · 2 years ago
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Mmm. Not having a good time right now, and probably still won’t for a little while longer. I’m just feeling a lot, having a lot of swings, and I’m just feeling so upset- oogh. Just not having a good time atm.
...Anybody got some Blorbo things, by chance? Might not do anything, but it would be nice. Or chatting.
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fuckdamn · 9 months ago
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everytime i’m faced with wild overt misogyny that’s just platformed like it’s nothing i remind myself that people don’t actually have to feel this way about women. men are fully capable of treating women like human beings and viewing them as such. “but socialization but male fantasies but patriatchy speaks through us even when we don’t recognize it” sure but actually regardless there exist men who are fundamentally not raging misogynists and they generally seem happier and better adjusted. misogyny to me isn’t disappointing because “oh i can’t believe Men, as an essentialized category of person, are like this” it’s disappointing because people make the choice to be like this. “it’s my biological imperative as a man to dominate you” okay well it’s my biological imperative as a freaky bitch to dominate you so what now. what biological imperative is making you comment “onlyfans detected opinion rejected” on every picture of any attractive woman. i think i will always be understood by most people as a woman and i’m learning to accept that and trying to like it but misogyny makes me feel very trapped of course. but misogyny is a choice. which means some people make the choice to be misogynistic which is profoundly frustrating. but many other people choose not to be actively misogynistic and i believe anyone could choose not to be actively misogynistic if they wanted. so it’s a whole thing
#lotte.txt#womanhood is a fun thing to participate in with women who do not hate women. otherwise it’s very stifling and starts to not be worth it 4 me#for other girls — cis and trans btw — i think relishing in womanhood still feels worth it even when it’s very difficult and i admire that#but apart from my fashion sense and bloodlust i feel very detached from womanhood as like this primal animate Essence#but i don’t really want to be a man either. i like being a Weird Girl i like being a Hot Weird Girl#i’m more of a Hot Weird Girl than a Hot Weird Boy and i’ve discovered that through trial and error#and calling myself nonbinary/fluid accurately describes my experience in a lot of ways. but i also sometimes feel like the label doesn’t..#serve me? if that makes sense#like i got really into kibbe in 2020 and it was like oh shit i’m a soft dramatic. how cool that there’s something that describes my body#but after a while i got exhausted with kibbe because yeah. by the logic of the system of course i’m a soft dramatic#and i operate with that knowledge in the back of my mind. but also so what. i am aware of the shape of my body now#and now i feel the label has very little left to offer me#like if you’re asking? sure i’m a kibbe soft dramatic. but i don’t hold kibbe’s system as law or view it as crucially important#that is very much how i feel rn about calling myself nonbinary#like if you want me to think about it? yeah i don’t strictly conform to the gender binary#but i don’t believe gender itself is useful for my growth - i don’t hold the institution of the gender binary sacred - why bother#why draw attention to where i exist within the system when i’m tired of defining myself in terms of the system at all. yk#aUghj. anyway
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brightwoods · 2 years ago
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Does anyone else feel like almost all of the conflicts that had to do with the various character dynamics in Chain of Thorns didn’t actually get resolved, they just unexplainably ceased to exist after two books of building them up because CC didn’t feel like writing them anymore and she didn’t know how to resolve it naturally after how she’d built the issues up so much?
Like how none of the characters but Cordelia and Thomas had any clue about the Alastair and Charles situation and then suddenly in CoT it was like who doesn’t know? Of course Matthew knew and didn’t say anything before and then randomly brought it up to Cordelia in Paris while assuming she knew too
Or how Alastair and Thomas went from how things were at the end of CoI with Alastair thinking it could never work because Thomas’s friends hate him to oh look everyone suddenly is friends with Alastair with no grudge with no development of that in this book at all, just an abrupt shift
Especially the Alastair and Matthew dynamic where Matthew hated Alastair and wanted him to have nothing to do with any of their friends and he spent CoI ranting about him to Cordelia. And then suddenly in CoT it’s like of course Matthew is supportive of Thomas and Alastair and oh look Matthew and Alastair are suddenly not just tolerating each other for Thomas’s sake but friends despite barely interacting and no development actually showing and never getting any mention of the other in their own POVs, just having Cordelia be like Alastair stop being dumb, you’re literally friends with him now
Or like everyone other than Christopher and Grace where it was like oh we don’t like her for how she’s treated us and her friends straight to anyway she’s one of us. Like yes Grace was useful and yes Tatiana manipulated her whole life, but none of that was why anyone changed their minds or opinions? It was just suddenly the flip of a switch when it was convenient for CC
Or Anna and Ariadne where it didn’t so much develop as Anna just acted mean to Ariadne on and off throughout the series and at the end of CoI she wanted nothing to do with a relationship and then in CoT she was just suddenly like sure I guess I do. Also, slightly different note, but I did not like that Anna barely interacted with anyone else for the entire book and she was just off in the corner being an irrelevant romantic subplot for almost all of the book except when she showed up to barely even be shown in the background being sad about her brother being dead
(Although Anna still got more of a reaction than everyone else and his death was poorly executed all around in the sense of how did you write this so predictably and poorly that no one even knows when he died and it’s so background and 99% of the characters don’t care at all and we don’t see his parents finding out or much of Thomas’s reaction or anything and it’s just as if he wasn’t a character anymore 2 seconds later which is a different genre of issue with CoT but similar problem in the sense that both issues made the book feel a lot more emotionless to read)
And how the issues of Thomas and Alastair being together as two men and Anna and Ariadne being together as two women in this time and the issues of what would happen if the fact that Charles and Alastair were gay got out to the entire Clave just disappeared and never got addressed at all. We know how the ClVe reacted to Alec Lightwood YEARS later. We know society was homophobic at the time TLH is set and that it seems like shadowhunter society was a lot less open-minded than mundanes a century later
I understand that Charles being blackmailed and making shitty decisions was annoying but it was like suddenly everyone finding out wouldn’t have consequences and all the other queer men characters were like how could you possibly be worried about this :/ as if they haven’t spent the whole series knowing they have to be careful about who they tell. And then suddenly it was just of course it’s totally fine and safe to have everyone find out and why wouldn’t you be fine with that. And it was really written in a way that had other queer characters like oh Charles is such a coward for not being ready to publicly tell a bunch of homophobic people his sexuality and it just wasn’t it??? And super weird after Thomas was terrified of telling even Anna and Matthew for years. And also, I did not care for the fact that when Charles did go risk getting outed to finally do the right thing, we didn’t even get to see it through any character’s perspective or how that important meeting went, we just got one line of dialogue from somebody else saying that it happened with no details at all. And I can’t think of other examples right now but there were quite a few moments like that where we got one line saying that something had happened that was important to the plot and to characters’ development that seemed like it would have been more interesting than some of what we did get to see where it was just totally breezed over and way too easy and totally background to less important stuff
And then there was the whole no one reacting to Ariadne and Anna dancing together publicly thing was like yeah that’s nice I guess but not realistic and it doesn’t go with the way things have been presented up to that point, it also just feels like a situation where CC was like well this would be easier for me so there just won’t be consequences and then they can easily end up happily together
And then there was the whole Thomas and Alastair thinking they couldn’t realistically be together thing and knowing they couldn’t get married or be known to be together by anyone they’re not close to and then at the end it’s still not really addressed how they’re going to be together? Like there was the laziest write off of the family tree being wrong and then we still are just left to assume that eventually they move in together and suddenly it’s not a problem and everyone’s fine with it? And then I also feel like we don’t actually know if everyone found out about Alastair and Charles’ sexualities after the blackmail or if people are going to assume about Thomas and Alastair or if that’ll cause issues or if no one knows outside of who they’ve told and they have to be careful or what. Which like wouldn’t necessarily need to be addressed if it wasn’t for the logistics of being together as two men in that time being part of the obstacle that they were struggling with being in their way and then it felt like it was totally forgotten to even be one at the end by CC
Idk like I’d love to think they just lived in a world where homophobia didn’t exist but it felt like homophobia was a plot point when CC wanted it to be an inconvenience and then suddenly disappeared just to make her writing easier the moment she didn’t want it there anymore instead of actually addressing the plots she raised with it if that makes sense?
And sorry, I really did not mean to go on a rant this long. And maybe everyone else had a very different reading experience than I did and other people don’t agree with some or all of this. I personally am just very confused about how the book was almost 800 pages long and it felt like so much of the development in it was us abruptly being told that development had happened rather than actually getting to see it and how so many of the issues were abruptly solved in an I don’t want to write this issue anymore kind of way rather than anything actually needing to be worked at outside of the Belial situation
Edit: You know what, I mentioned it in my tags but I feel like it’s annoying enough to put in the body of the post and make it even longer. What the fuck was with everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else just so that characters could openly talk about the queer characters and tell them to do what they want them to? Why did Matthew out his brother multiple times? Like yes, the people he said it to coincidentally already knew, but he didn’t know that. And why was Thomas outing Alastair? The straights got to keep their secrets as long as they wanted and fix their problems more naturally. Why did I have to sit through queer characters constantly having their sexualities and romantic histories to everyone else when they clearly had not okayed it? Why were the queer characters doing so much of the outing? Why were people who cared about them and knew what it felt like to be afraid of the wrong person finding out just broadcasting their sexualities to make it easier for CC to breeze past development to have their things get resolved fast? Why did no character have an issue with it at all?
#As a queer person the whole using homophobia against her characters as plot just to pretend homophobia doesn’t exist and call her characters#cowards for worrying about it as soon as she’s decided writing it doesn’t serve her plot agenda anymore really icks me right out#Like yeah I’d love homophobia to not exist but girl what are you doing that’s so gross to go about it that way#ALSO everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else to other characters to make it easier to get the queer characters to do what she#wanted them to was a HORRIBLE vibe. Why is Matthew outing his brother? Why is Thomas outing Alastair? Why is everyone telling everyone else#people’s sexualities as if it’s nothing and everyone has a right to know when that character clearly did not feel that way#And it’s so out of nowhere every time too#Hot take: Charles protecting Alastair’s privacy instead of outing him was more valid than anything any of the other queer characters said#about Charles or Alastair’s sexualities even if I hate Charles and his going along with the blackmail was bullshit#Also now that I’ve written all of this down and 99% of what I wrote about in here has to do with the canon queer characters that’s not#a great look either that she did breeze over some of the stuff with the other characters for sure but she was way more likely to skip depth#and development with the queer characters in CoT#CC said no slow burn gradual changes in this book… there’s only room for abrupt 180s and Cordelia running 🏃‍♀️#Sorry if this has weird typos and other mistakes in it. I typed on my phone and didn’t check for autocorrect nonsense and I’m too lazy to#reread this all rn at my current brainpower level#CoT#Chain of Thorns spoilers#Chain of Thorns#The Last Hours#The Shadowhunter Chronicles#Cassandra Clare#My Posts
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bibleofficial · 2 months ago
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one of the BIGGEST reasons i couldn’t finish w the guy i was w on sunday was bc i kept thinking ‘who does he remind me of ???’ & it’s him
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roylustang · 8 months ago
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I truly feel like a dirtbagger. I’m so fucking dirty. Like just covered in it 24/7
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skhardwarevers1 · 1 year ago
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see I would do my work but there’s like a million noises playing in my head and I can’t focus on them for long enough to separate them
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impossible-rat-babies · 1 year ago
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me laying in bed like some forlorn Victorian woman thinking about eyrie and estinien
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kavehater · 3 months ago
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Jaw dropped what.
#ppl are entitled to feel how they feel bla bla bla ik the drill#dora daily#I actually don’t exactly feel salty rn bc I’m trying hard to be detached like who cares if nobody will ever like me ndieows !!! who cares if#I’m not lovable !!!#OK affirmations over basically like girl ….#you get everything#even took my friend from me what 😭#and you say no one likes you NDOWWKA#someone literally made an artwork for you for free as a present fyi#like yesterday 😭#girl I don’t even get ppl sending me things that remind them of me bc no one cares 😭#wdym no one cares about you#if I had a speck of what you had I’d feel so loved#at least you don’t need to make up imaginary people who can love you PFFTTTT#I’m laughing at myself not her#but yeah#like I only got something sent to me once or so and it was an ayato fanart that they thought I’d like#pls I treasured that so hard what and that artwork wasn’t even made for me#it was an artist who drew it and someone sent it to me bc they remembered I liked ayato a lot 😭#that’s so sweet I still am so grateful 😭#the bar is in hell#istg ppl like her make taking drugs and being an alcoholic sound divine bc what 😭#if your existence is miserable then mine is so much so I deserve to be dead ok#you go to concerts and I’m holed up in my room unable to go to the shop near my home which is in walking distance …#I can’t even go to uni without updating my mum every two steps or else she’ll go ballistic#once I forgot to tell her I got on the train after she took me to the station im 99% sure she took me to the station#and started calling me and leaving voicemails#IM SCREWED !!!#you go to concerts on your own …#you can dress how you want without your mum picking every outfit for you ….
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medicaltechnician · 1 year ago
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idk if its the late nights and lack of activity (my own fault) but i’ve been feeling like i need out of this friend group more and more. Idk what it is (i do, it just seems… petty and stupid. And just seems like a me problem not a them problem.)
problem ofc is that, there are a couple people i like as friends in the group. hell fuck i love them all and don’t want them out of my life completely. sort of wish that I didn’t have my ex out of my life completely. Maybe one day we can reconnect. But we both have to be more mature for that. We both need more growth. No idea how he’s doing.
I feel like I villified him a bit in my brain. Which was urged by my closest friend. Who I trust with my life so. (this was after I confessed maybe I have problems with him to to this friend. which was valid). Idk, people approach things differently. And I agree’d with my friend.
I think its a problem with how I talk. I guess I come off in absolutes? Idk. I give off, strange vibes when I talk. This tangent makes no sense to anybody but me.
But also, can’t just, drop em? They’re sort of my only friend group. It ain’t like I get out and about. I don’t mesh well with people. It sort of sucks that the most I’ve meshed well with is my ex, my bestie, and another friend. My ex is no contact so fuck me ig. My bestie is pre-occupied with other things and personally, I feel we’ve drifted a bit. I’m not too bothered by it? It’s neither of our faults, just taking different life paths. Also going from complete co-dependency to what we have now. What we have now is probably just normal friendship lmao. And then the other friend is a couple years younger than me, so obviously they do have their set of friends within their age group. Which I encourage them hanging out, like obviously. I see myself as more of an older brother figure ig. Try to part some wisdom I’ve gained. Then theres my crush and obviouslt rhats a mess, I wish I never had a crush on him so we could have a normal relationship. I wish I could have friends?? Idk. what am I talking bout?
So, yeah. I need to get out of the house more often so I can meet like-minded people (in the creative and path sense) so I can actually do the things I want to do. I don’t even need to be a producer or lead or director. Fuck I’m happy starting from the bottom and working my way up. (Ideal situation is mainly being on equal footing. I want people to give their input and ideas to my ideas, and vise versa)
#ker talks#it’s strange nowadays i feel like when i reach out im being annoying or smth#whether im reaching out for positive stuff or negative#when i do i rarely get a satisfactory response in my mind. feels like i’m being brushed off.#or ya know i’d like to hold a conversation thats got some meat to it? but it fizzles out#shit wondering if my bestie even wants to talk to me.#last time I came over I was hoping to watch jerma together and we did-ish. he sort of was textin/interacting with his crush#or just on his phone idk. call me a boomer but it bugs me when people r on their phone in a one on one situation#I understand if it’s a bigger group or if ya just checking it#but it seemed fuckin constant. it sucked. shit.#its worse when we get high together esp since i only get high alone so i tend to scroll a bit too#but itd be nice if when we got high we did stuff together esp in person next time we hang out i’ll keep note of this stuff and bring it up#just to make sure i aint making it up. esp cause i feel like im being stupidly jealous bout this#i see him interact with others? whats different bout me. he said he feels comfortable actually unmasking round me#and i know interaction drains him and fuck he went through so much and is trying his hardest to stay alive and sane rn#so idk i dont want to put more on his plate. but its fucking me up a bit too.#hell one of the things we went thru together. reacted differently and affected differently cause slightly different situations.#its honestly one of my working theories on why we drifted cause we keep reminding eachother of that night by interacting.#it sucks. alot. i dont want to be reminded of my failures. of the fact it traumatized him so fuckinf deeply and i failed.#and then i feel guilty for even feeling like shit bout the event cause i didnt have /that/ happen to me i just happrned to be there.#i need a goddamn professional to sort this out. it sucks ass. and i hate that it fuels my self hate#both to do with my inability to protect and feeling insignificant. overshadowed. thats the worse feeling of it all.
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whytheylosttheirminds · 1 month ago
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home for the holidays (part one) - r.c.
❄️ a frat!rafe cameron holiday mini series ❄️
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summary a simple favor for a friend ends with you reluctantly bringing Rafe Cameron, resident campus fuckboy, home for the holidays. It’s gonna take more than a little mistletoe for him to win you over…
content “enemies” to lovers, copious amounts of flirting, eventual smut, a dash of familial angst, parental illness and mentions of parental death, 18+ mdni
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Brodyyy <3: hey thanks again for offering to give me a ride back to nc for break!
You: ofc! anything for u after u gave me those o chem notes bestie
Brodyyy <3: i’m glad to hear ya say that…bc i have one more favor to ask
You: what’s up?
Brodyyy <3: one of my frat bros needs a ride back too, can he join?
You: does he live near us?
Brodyyy <3: he’s from obx but if you get us to my house I can take him the rest of the way in my mom’s car, so no extra driving for you!
You: yeah then i guess that’s cool!!
You: as long as i’m home before 6pm on the 21st i’m good
Brodyyy <3: cookie day?
You: exactly, u get me
Brodyyy <3: dw we’ll get you home in time for cookies! Tysm!
You: np!
You: what’s his name btw?
Brodyyy <3: …
You: *questioned* “what’s his name btw?”
Brodyyy <3: rafe
You: be so fr rn
You: as in cameron???
You: Brody, did u seriously invite rafe cameron to drive home with us??
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Hour one
You could see your breath, fog filling the air with each shivering exhale as you pulled your coat tighter around your shoulders. Even after three-and-a-half years, you’d never gotten used to these North Eastern winters. The plan was to be well on your way towards a milder climate by now, but here you were, leaning against the open hatchback trunk of your car, desperately clutching your hot coffee as you waited for your friend to show up. With his friend. You rolled your eyes as you checked the time on your phone for the hundredth time, none of your many texts to Brody returned.
“Brody, I swear to god,” you mumbled under your breath, “five more minutes and I’m leaving your ass.”
Time ticked on without any sight of him. With a resigned sigh, you reached up to close the trunk.
“Hey wait up!” a voice called from behind you. You whipped around to find its owner.
Standing a few feet back on the sidewalk, sherpa lined corduroy jacket, backpack slung over his shoulder and obnoxiously handsome smirk painted on his face, was Rafe Cameron. Notorious playboy, frat president, and hands down your least favorite person on this campus. 
It wasn’t a big school, everyone knew Rafe Cameron. All of your friends had crushes on him, some of them even managed to hook up with him or have stories of making out with him at frat parties. Every Friday night, he popped up on every Insta story on campus, somehow everywhere at once, and yet your paths had never crossed directly. You were okay with that. You knew his type well enough.
“I’m Rafe,” he interjected when you didn’t greet him.
“I know,” you said dryly.
“My reputation precedes me?” He grinned, his slight southern drawl reminding you of home with a pang of nostalgia, until you remembered that this guy was from a completely different world than you.
“I wouldn’t be too proud of that,” you shot back, slamming the trunk closed. “Where’s Brody?”
Rafe usually gave people about ten seconds before he decided if he liked them or not. A lethal combination of impatience and general distrust that he disguised seamlessly under cocky confidence. Your arms were crossed in hostility as you frowned at him, even though he’d barely said two words to you. 
Ah yes, he knew exactly your type. You were that irritating brand of stuck up smart girl who always saw right through him. Sure, you were surprisingly really pretty, a fact Brody had forgotten to mention, but annoying nonetheless. He decided right then not to like you, since you so clearly had already decided not to like him. 
“He’s not coming,” Rafe informed you. “Didn’t he tell you?”
“No, he didn’t,” you huffed, “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he got a gig with a professor to be a research assistant, but he’s gotta stay on campus to do it,” he explained.
“He could’ve told me,” you rolled your eyes, checking the time again to calculate how far behind his no-show had made you. “I’m gonna have to adjust the schedule.”
“The schedule?” He cocked his head, picking up on the tightly wrinkled knot in your forehead as you pulled a folded piece of graph paper from your pocket.
It was color coded and intricate, every mile, every meal, every gas stop accounted for, down to the minute. You had a pencil in your hair, tucked neatly into your messy bun so you could pull it out quickly and make necessary changes, as you were doing now. You held the paper up against the side of your car, erasing and scribbling intensely as you recalculated the trip. 
“I need to be home by six at the latest, it’s nine now, that leaves only an hour for stops and traffic, we were supposed to leave at eight…” you looked up to eye him pointedly as you said the last part, silently blaming him for the delay as you did your mental math.
“Sorry to make you wait, I needed my beauty sleep,” he raised his hands in defense, lips curling back to display his shiny white smile. “You don’t think this all just happens naturally do you?” He gestured to his face.
You tucked the paper back into your pocket as you eyed him up and down, unimpressed and yet simultaneously beginning to understand why all your girlfriends had fallen so easily for this douchebag. He was handsome, sharp features permanently set in an arrogant smirk. His body was tall and lean yet built, enough that you could tell he was muscular even under all those layers. His dirty blonde hair sat messy over his forehead, sticking out at all angles in a way that made it clear he’d just woken up. 
But you were smart, life and your high IQ made you an expert in reading people. You could see right through him.
“I wasn’t waiting for you, I was waiting for Brody,” you shut him down. “And since he’s apparently not coming, I’m gonna hit the road,” you slammed the trunk closed, pulling your keys from your pocket and making your way to the driver’s side door.
You opened the door, fully intending to climb in and drive off on your own, but Rafe appeared quickly by your side, closing the door before you could climb in.
“Woah, woah, wait,” he said, his arm out next to your head to hold the door closed.
You scoffed at his boldness and stepped back, “uhm excuse me!”
“You’re excused,” he smirked down at you. “How am I gonna get home?”
“Greyhound station is that way,” you pointed over your shoulder, trying to push him out of the way of your door, but he was too sturdy to be moved. He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms, planting himself.
“I’d rather ride with you,” he flashed you a devilish grin you just knew he was used to throwing around like currency.
“Dude, can you just let me into my car?” You shut him down.
“What’s the magic word?” God, did this guy have a punchable face.
“Please,” you reluctantly let out through gritted teeth.
“Hmm, no,” he turned it back on you, planting his feet firmly on the ground, both of you knowing there was no way you were gonna be able to overpower his large frame.
“Okay seriously? I know you’re used to using your body to get what you want, but it’s not gonna work this time,” you were done fucking around, an invisible clock ticking in your mind while your trip was delayed even further by this jackass. “Get away from my car.”
“I will when you agree to give me a ride,” his lips twisted and his voice dropped, aimed down at you, “or we can keep standing here and talking about my body.”
You couldn’t help but blush, and he couldn’t help but like it. The embarrassment at the involuntary response only fueled your anger.
“Why would I do that? I don’t even know you,” it wasn’t entirely true, you knew more than you cared to know about him. Or at least, in this moment, you thought you did.
“Brody said you owe him a favor right? Do it for him,” he suggested.
“If he wanted to cash in on his favor, he should’ve been here himself.”
“Okay then, what if I paid for gas? What was Brody gonna do, go 50/50 with you? I’ll cover the whole trip,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a thick leather wallet, opening it to flash you his black card. 
You couldn’t help but also notice the polaroids tucked in the see-through pockets. On one side, what appeared to be a family photo; Rafe, an older man and two young girls smiling on a giant boat. On the other side, some sorority girls in bikinis, flashing the camera at a charity car wash. Who the fuck was this guy? 
“Brody was also gonna take you the rest of the way to the Outer Banks. I’m going west and there’s no way I’m getting on a ferry, how are you gonna get home?” You reasoned, though he could hear in your tone that you were starting to actually consider saying yes. 
Time to bring it home, he thought.
“I’ll figure it out. Just get me to the ferry and I’ll be fine. I’ll be eternally grateful, I’ll owe you a big favor. And I never do people favors.”
“The more you talk, the less I want to be stuck in a car with you for eight hours,” you said. 
Dammit, his plan backfired. But he hadn’t missed the way you eyed the picture of him with his dad, Sarah and Wheezie in his wallet. Maybe he could use that to his advantage.
“Please? All flights are sold out and I’d really like to see my little sisters for Christmas,” he blinked his wide blue eyes, mustering up all the sincerity he could find.
Family was your weak spot, you wondered if Brody had told him that. As much as you truly did not want to get in this cramped, two-door car with him, you felt bad picturing the two little girls waiting patiently for their big brother to come home for Christmas. Ugh.
With a deep sigh, you finally said, “fine.” 
Rafe slapped his hand on the car’s roof in celebration, reveling in his victory as he finally stepped away from your door.
“I’ll get you to the ferry and that’s it,” you qualified, trying to dampen his enthusiasm. “I need to be home by six, if I’m late you’re gonna owe me a lot more than a favor.”
He crossed his fingers over his heart solemnly, “scout’s honor!”
“You can throw your stuff in the backseat,” you instructed, your trunk already full to the brim with presents for your family.
“What, you got too much junk in your trunk?” He chuckled at his own joke as he jogged around to the passenger’s side.
You rolled your eyes hard as you climbed in the driver’s seat. This was gonna be the longest eight hours of your life.
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Hour two
The heat in your car was cranked at full blast, but you were still shivering as you drove. This car was a hand-me-down from your dad, it got you back and forth to school, but left plenty to be desired in the way of amenities.
Based on the designer watch he was wearing and his Gatsby-esque reputation, you were pretty confident this was the least fancy car Rafe had ever been in.
“Sorry about the rattling,” you said, needlessly gesturing toward the dash, which shook steadily with the hum of the engine. “She’s a good car, but she’s got creaky bones.”
“It’s cool,” he shrugged, pulling a pack of gum out of his coat pocket.
“I’m sure the G-wagons you’re used to don’t shake when you accelerate.”
Rafe popped a piece of gum in his mouth, snapping it obnoxiously between his teeth as he looked over at you, head cocked in observation.
“You don’t like me,” he surmised simply.
Your mouth fell open slightly, startled by how directly he clocked you, “I- I barely know you.”
“Then why do you roll your eyes everytime I open my mouth?”
“Maybe I just don’t like what you have to say.”
His eyes narrowed, considering this for a moment before deciding, “nah, I think it’s something else. Did we have a class together or something?”
“No, just a couple mutual friends,” you smiled the fakest of smiles.
“Yeah? Like who?”
“Girls you’ve ghosted mainly,” you said.
“Whaaat, me? Ghost someone? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he smirked.
“Yeah right,” you shook your head with an incredulous laugh that only widened his grin. “You know exactly what I mean, you ghost them and then you gaslight them that you were never a thing to begin with. We call it the Rafe Cameron special.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’ve never done that,” he said.
“That’s such bullshit, this girl in my hall freshman year showed me all your texts, you totally gaslit her.” 
“Gaslit? Me? You’re crazy…” he said.
You almost took the bait, mouth opened indignantly to argue again before you finally caught onto his game and the growing prideful smirk on his face. He was fucking with you.
You turned the music up, blocking him out as he chuckled under his breath in the seat next to you, ever so pleased with himself.
“Oh, c’mon, lighten up,” he tilted his body toward you, his long legs cramped in the small space of your front seat. 
He placed his hand on the back of your headrest, his arm easily reaching the distance between you. 
“It’s college, it’s not that serious. Everybody’s hooking up and breaking up. I mean, I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of flings,” his eyes ran up and down your body with that final remark.
You stumbled over your response. You weren’t necessarily a shy person, but you didn’t walk around discussing your personal life as openly as he apparently does. 
“I…can you stop looking at me like that please?”
“Looking at you like what?” He grinned, feigning innocence.
“Like you know me at all.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” he nodded. “Though I think I’ve pretty much figured you out.”
“Oh have you?” Your eyebrows shot up.
“Yeah, I mean, I have my guesses at least…”
“Please, share with the class,” you turned the radio down to better hear his absurdity, sure that he was full of shit.
“You were top of your class in high school, graduating with a…3.97 GPA,” he began. “You got in automatic acceptance to a bunch of state schools but you insisted on going to your reach, which thrilled your parents I’m sure. College isn’t as easy as high school, but you’ve settled around an A minus average final grade. You’re not in a sorority, I would’ve seen you at a mixer, but you’re definitely in some organized groups. Not sports, that’s not practical enough, it’s gotta be something where you can do some networking. Brody said you’re what, pre-med? So you’re probably in some kind of medical honors society. I bet you’ve had only one serious boyfriend, maybe a long distance high school sweetheart, but you’re too focused on school to make that work so you dumped his ass. A few hook ups since then, but nothing real. How am I doing?”
Your eyes were glued to the road, face gone ashen as he continued to nail correct guess after correct guess.
“My high school GPA was 3.98 actually,” you said weakly. “And I don’t like this game.”
Rafe had never been more smug, beaming triumphantly at your confirmation of all his assumptions.
“Don’t worry, I’m done playing,” he leaned forward to take off his coat, balling it up to use as a pillow so he could lean his head on the window. “Wake me up when at the next scheduled stop, will ya?”
“No promises,” you grumbled, making him smile as he drifted off to sleep.
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Hour three
Bright red brake lights glowed in a line stretched out in front of you for a mile. You sighed deeply, your foot sore from holding down the brake for a full ten minutes. Resigned, you finally gave in and put the car in park, eyeing the clock on the dash anxiously.
Rafe snored. Loudly.
You shot him a bitter glare as he sat passed out in the passenger seat, blissfully unaware of the stop-and-go traffic jam you had gotten stuck in, enjoying his free ride and interrupting your music with his loud snores. Out of spite, you leaned forward and turned up the radio until your music was practically blaring through the speakers.
Somehow, like even in his sleep he knew how to push your buttons, he started snoring louder. You turned the music up as high as it would go, singing along at the top of your lungs until he finally started stirring, eyes blinking open. You quickly turned down the music, stifling a laugh at the confused, grumpy look on his face.
“We’re not moving,” he mumbled, groggily taking in your surroundings.
“You have great observational skills,” you teased him.
“You didn’t think to account for traffic on your little itinerary?” He said smugly.
“I did,” you defended yourself, “just not until we passed through DC. This part of I-95 isn’t usually so packed.”
Rafe sat up in his seat, not having much room to stretch out his legs but trying anyway. He watched the way you were chewing on the inside of your cheek, nervously tapping your hands on the steering wheel.
“So what’s happening at six o’clock?” He asked, trying to pull you from your anxious thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“Before we left, you said you had to be home at six. What’s at six?” 
“Oh, uh, it’s kind of silly actually, you wouldn’t get it,” you sat back in your seat, finally accepting that the car in front of you wasn’t moving anytime soon.
“Try me,” he said.
You looked at him, trying to decide if you wanted to share and risk his getting his rude opinion on something so special to you. But you were hungry, and tired, and stressed, and honestly, after a few too many hours in his charismatic orbit, you were looking for more reasons not to like him.
“It’s because of cookies,” you admitted.
“Cookies?” He cocked his eyebrow, trying to maintain his non-judgemental stance.
“My mom makes these gingerbread cookies that are literally the best thing I’ve ever tasted. They’re so good, she makes them every christmas, but she only makes one batch. It’s an old family recipe her mom left her when she passed away and my mom said she isn’t supposed to give it to me until she’s…gone…”
You paused to swallow hard, like there were more words fighting their way out. Feeling a little too vulnerable with Rafe’s eyes on you, you pushed them back down. 
“…anyway, I have three younger brothers, and they get home from their practices at six. The second they walk in the door, they’ll attack those cookies and there won’t be any left for me. So I need to get home before them or I’ll have to wait a whole year for more cookies.”
You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he decided whether or not he was gonna tease you.
Finally he landed on, “gingerbread, really? They can’t possibly be that good.”
“Oh no, believe me they really are. I’m not usually into gingerbread either but these are seriously the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”
Rafe’s eyebrows shot up, smirking at you from his side of the car. It took a second for you to hear your own double entenadre. 
“Oh shut up,” you laughed, reaching over to swat his arm.
“I didn’t say anything!” He pretended to wince, rubbing the spot on his arm you’d hit dramatically. You flexed your hand, surprised that it stung a little, his arm firmer than you were expecting. 
“You question the cookies and then you mock me,” you shook your head. “I should make you get out and walk the rest of the way.”
“No, no!” He chuckled. “I would never question the cookies. I’m sure they’re delicious. Don’t make me walk.”
You zeroed your eyes in on him, “fine. You're safe. For now.”
He wiped his forehead playfully, mouthing a silent ‘phew!’
After a few minutes, traffic started moving again, though painfully slowly. Rafe was drumming along to the radio on the dashboard, growing more impatient by the second. His fidgeting reminded you of a bored toddler.
“Why can’t you mom just make more cookies?” He blurted out.
Your grip tightened on the wheel as sudden brake lights ahead of you forced you to slam on your own brake yet again. This was the direction you were hoping the conversation wouldn’t head in.
“She, uh…she just makes the one batch,” you tried to shrug the question off, but he was too busy tapping away and shifting in his seat to notice your growing discomfort.
“I mean how long can it take? A couple hours maybe? I bet she could just -”
“She just can’t, okay?” You snapped, your growing irritation with the traffic jam making the words come out a little sharper than you’d intended. You took a deep breath when his eyes snapped toward you, “sorry. She just…she can only make one.”
Rafe nodded, his bottom lip sticking out as he returned his attention to his phone, typing rapidly.
“Alright then, take the next exit,” he said.
“What?”
“In a half mile on the right, take that exit,” he repeated.
“Why?” you asked.
“I found a faster route,” he explained. “Let’s get you those cookies.”
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Hour four
Rafe was right, the alternate route he found for you had caught you up to schedule, even putting you about twenty miles ahead of where you expected to be by this point.
With the made up time, Rafe finally convinced you to stop for food, and, after several minutes of arguing, to let him drive the next stretch.
It was amazing how much your mood improved with some food in your system. Now that you weren’t the one behind the wheel, it was you shuffling restlessly in the seat, unfolding and refolding your schedule and refreshing the GPS on your phone every couple of minutes. 
“In one hundred and twenty two miles, veer left…” refresh “in one hundred and twenty miles, veer left…” refresh “in one hundred and nineteen miles-“
“Veer left! It’s gonna keep saying the same thing every time, you really don’t need to keep refreshing it,” Rafe grunted.
You shot him a glare, making a show of turning your phone off and tucking it in your pocket. 
“Remind me why you couldn’t just drive yourself?” You snarled. “What, is the Beamer in the shop?”
“It’s a Range Rover, actually,” he corrected you, pulling forth yet another eye roll from you as you mumbled ‘of course it is.’ “And yes, actually, it is.”
“Ah, you pimping your ride?”
He snorted, “what is it 2005? No, I, uh, totaled it, actually.”
“I knew I shouldn’t let you drive,” you winced, grabbing the handle above the passenger door theatrically.
“Relax, it wasn’t my fault,” he assured you.
“Let me guess, the other driver was so blinded by your dazzling smile that they crashed right into you?” 
“There was no other driver,” he said, smirking with a sidelong glance in your direction. “Glad to know you think my smile is that powerful though.”
You regretted your word choice immediately, your brain was working so fast to deflect his charm you had lost the plot a bit. You scrambled to put the focus back on him so he wouldn’t see the way you were blushing.
“Okay so what’s the story then?” You asked.
“It’s really not that interesting. I was driving around campus and there was something in the street, I swerved and hit a tree, that’s it,” he reached to turn the radio a little louder, your eyes narrowing at the avoidant tone he’d adopted.
“You saw ‘something?’ What ‘something’ did you see?” You pressed, amused by his discomfort.
“Just, uhm, an animal in the road,” he said dismissively.
You nodded, a little “ah” leaving your lips as you returned your gaze to the window. You tapped your fingers on your thigh to the beat of the song. You wanted to know more, he knew you wanted to know more. The tension broke quick.
“What kind of animal was -”
“Ohhh my god, you’re so nosy, it was-“ he cut himself off momentarily to lower his voice, “it was a bunny alright?”
Your laugh was immediate and loud, head falling back at the image he’d conjured for you.
“Alright, it’s not that funny but whatever,” he rolled his eyes, unable to suppress the little curve of his lips at the pretty sound of your unguarded giggles. 
“No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you said between laughs, wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes, “it’s not funny. It’s nice. You crashed your Range Rover trying to save a little rabbit. I just didn’t expect Rafe Cameron to break for bunnies, it’s very cute.”
Rafe never got flustered, he practically majored in flirting, it never phased him. So why the fuck was he blushing like a little kid right now?
Get your shit together, Cameron, he thought, she’s just some girl.
“So you and Brody, y’all sleeping together or...?”
Your laughter stopped dead in its tracks, head snapping towards him as your jaw slammed shut.
Pointedly not answering him, you grabbed your Coke from the cupholder and took a long sip.
“Is that a yes?” he continued. 
“Not that it’s any of your business,” you cut him off, fiddling with the straw, “but no, we’re just old friends.”
Long gone was the playful air of the bunny story. Unable to recover and get a positive reaction from you, he figured he might as well dig himself deeper. In for a penny…
“But, c’mon, you’re saying you two have seriously never…”
“Ew no, he’s literally like my brother,” you shut him down. “Why do you care so much? You jealous?”
Fuck, he hadn’t meant to give you the upper ground, he needed to level the field. 
“You just seemed pretty upset when you found out he wasn’t coming is all. Like, I dunno, a woman scorned and all that…”
“Have you considered it’s because I realized I was gonna be stuck in a car alone with you for eight hours?”
Thoroughly pissed off, you sank down in your seat and continued sipping your Coke, avoiding looking at him by counting the mile markers on the side of the highway. 
Rafe looked over at you, taking in the flex of your jaw as you stewed. He usually didn’t give a fuck if his words offended people. He preferred it, actually. But something about the shape of your smile and the sound of your laughter made him wish you were always happy. He felt like shit for making it go away, then he felt like shit for feeling like shit given his decision not to like you.
His eyes stayed on you for longer than they should, studying the shape of your silhouette in the soft light of the December sun. 
“Watch out!” You shrieked suddenly.
Rafe’s eyes shot forward and he realized with panic that he’d been veering off the road, the front of the car dangerously skewed in the direction of the metal guard rail. 
“Fuck!” 
He cut the wheel hard, overshooting his correction and causing the car to jerk sharply to the left. In your concern, you gripped your drink so hard the lid came off, your ice cold diet coke splashing out of the cup and all over you.
Rafe redirected the car until it was back in the correct lane, but you were already covered in diet soda. Coke dripped from your hair onto your face, your mouth hung wide open in shock and fury.
“Shit, my bad,” Rafe said, reaching in the fast food bag for some napkins.
He started dabbing it completely unhelpfully at your shoulder and you ripped the napkin from his hands.
“This is my favorite shirt, ugh what the fuck Rafe!” You scolded him, trying to use the napkins with very little luck, the shirt was definitely ruined.
“I said I’m sorry! Jesus calm down, it’s not like I did it on purpose,” he huffed at you, hating that he liked how you said his name, even when you were yelling at him.
“No of course not, you never do anything on purpose,” you quipped.
It took everything in him not to snap back with a “you don’t even fucking know me,” but he remained silent. Biting his tongue was a new taste to him, he didn’t like it, but he didn’t like the feeling of you being pissed at him either. Today was a day of firsts.
“We’re gonna have to stop so I can get a new shirt from the trunk,” you said.
Eager to return to familiar territory, he jumped at the opportunity to antagonize you, shaking his head and tsking condescendingly, “no can do, there’s no stops on the schedule for an hour.”
“Okay well this is obviously an extenuating circumstance,” you argued.
“So was me wanting to stop at that outlet mall to get presents for my family, but we didn’t stop then,” he countered.
“Right, because those things are comparable,” you scoffed. “It’s not my fault you waited until the last second to do your Christmas shopping.”
You were right, but he still resented the know-it-all tone in your accusation.
“Well I’m the driver and I say we’re sticking to the schedule,” he doubled down.
“So I’m just supposed to sit here covered in soft drink for the rest of the trip?”
“I have an old sweatshirt in my bag you can borrow,” he offered.
The urge to continue fighting with him until he agreed to pull over was strong, but the urge to get out of the cold, sticky shirt was stronger. With a sigh, you climbed into the backseat and dug through Rafe’s bag until you found a soft, worn out hoodie with a logo on the front that said “Kildare Academy Lacrosse” and on the back “Cameron #44.”
You reached down to peel off your shirt, looking up first to catch Rafe watching you through the rear view mirror. Your hands paused on the hem, giving him a steely look.
“Uh, a little privacy please?” 
His eyes continued flicking between you and the road, “I just wanna see if you found the right sweatshirt,” he claimed.
You let out an indignant tsk, mouth open in disbelief when he gave you a little wink through the mirror. You reached forward and smushed your hand into his cheek, pushing his head back toward the road. He bit his bottom lip, trying to play nonchalant as you stripped off your shirt just inches behind him. He might act like a playboy, but he did actually have enough respect not to look at you while you changed.
Still, keeping his eyes on the road meant seeing the fuzzy form of you in his peripheral vision. The general hue of your skin tone and the swift movement of you pulling your shirt over your head sucked some of the air from his usually puffed-out chest. He felt like he was twelve years old, the way just the thought of you shirtless in the backseat made his hands clammy and his heart pick up speed. He needed to get a grip.
The sweatshirt was about two sizes too big but so warm and comfortable you didn’t care. You expected it to smell like some cheap cologne or boy sweat, but instead it smelled like something sweet and inviting - fabric softener, you realized with a grin. You’d tease him for that later.
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Hour five
Somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere Virginia, your gas light came on. You agreed to let him drive for another fifty miles after a quick gas station pit stop, planning to take the allotted thirty minute nap you’d mapped out on your schedule before driving the rest of the way.
Rafe paid for the gas, as promised, and stood by the car as he filled your tank. You never did get to finish your Diet Coke, so you ran inside to grab another while he pumped.
“That’ll be $2.79, dear,” the cashier told you, her southern accent and charm a tell-tale sign that you were nearing home.
With a smile, you pulled out your debit card and held it out for her to swipe.
“Sorry sweetheart, there’s a five dollar minimum for cards,” she informed you politely.
“Oh, okay,” you looked around the counter for something to add, swiping some knick-knacks from their display to round up your bill.
----❄----
The car door slammed as Rafe climbed back in next to you, balling up the receipt for the gas and tossing it into the backseat.
“How much was it?” You asked.
“Don’t worry about it,” he shrugged, turning the key as the engine sputtered to life. 
You shouldn’t feel bad, he offered to pay, and you were technically the one doing him a favor. Still, you were raised by blue collar parents, ‘neither a borrower nor a lender be’ and elbow grease was gospel in your home. You felt like you needed to give him something.
“Here,” you passed him the bag of trinkets you’d bought inside.
Rafe looked in the bag with a confused grin.
“What am I supposed to do with these?” He laughed as he pulled the items out of the bag.
“You could…give them to your sisters,” you suggested.
“What are they gonna do with a Thomas Jefferson snow globe and a bumper sticker that says ‘Virginia is for Lovers’?”
“Well it’s better than a slip of paper that says ‘IOU one christmas present,’” You teased him.
“Y’know what? Very true,” he nodded, tucking the bag of goodies in the backseat and pulling out of the gas station. 
The drive was silent for a few minutes. You leaned forward, resting your arms on the dash as you watched the emerging silhouette of the Blue Ridge Mountains on the far horizon. It was all getting so close; a crackling fire, drinking hot cocoa while watching How The Grinch Stole Christmas with your brothers, decorating the tree, those gingerbread cookies…
“What are you smiling about?” Rafe’s voice interrupted your revelry.
“I’m just excited to get home and see my family,” you said with a happy smile. “Aren’t you?”
It was such a foreign concept to him he almost laughed. He was still playing the angle that he was desperate to get home to his family so you’d give him a ride. He couldn’t tell you the truth; that he wasn’t sure anyone at his house even remembered he was coming, that Christmases in the Cameron house for the last decade were more about the pictures his father could put on the cards he sent to clients than they were about celebrating, or love. 
“Uh, yeah, ‘course,” he said, hoping you’d drop it. 
You didn’t.
“Does your family have any traditions?” 
“Like what?” He knew what you meant, but his brain wasn’t working fast enough to come up with a lie, the truth sitting on his chest in the uncomfortable way he spent his life trying to avoid.
“Like, okay,” you started. “Me and my brothers always sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve. We get all the pillows and blankets in the house and make a big pile in front of the fireplace and keep the fire going all night so we can stay up to try and catch Santa.” 
“How’s he gonna come down the chimney if you keep the fire going?” Rafe questioned logically.
“Oh Rafe, I’m so sorry I have to be the one to tell you this…but Santa isn’t real,” you placed your hand on his arm like you were trying to console him. 
He let it linger for a minute before shaking you off, “you know what I meant!” he grumbled, making you laugh. The sound was so sweet it made him dizzy.
“What else do you do?” He asked impulsively, surprising both you and himself with his desire to hear you keep talking.
“Well, you know about my mom’s cookies, and we always drink cocoa with peppermint sticks, and oh! Me and my dad used to cut down a real tree together the day after Thanksgiving- I’m sure they’ve already gotten it this year since I wasn’t home- but we’d always decorate it together, just the two of us, while listening to his old Bing Crosby vinyl.”
It sounded so nice, so idyllic and comforting, like a Hallmark card. Jealousy roared in his chest, hoping you couldn’t see it on his face as he pictured the much colder, tension filled holiday that was awaiting him.
“Didn’t Bing Crosby used to hit his kids?” He blurted out coldly, the holly jolly joy in the car becoming a little too much for him to handle.
Your face soured, lips twisted as he burst your bubble. 
“You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch,” you mumbled. Even when he was being an ass, you were being cute. It was killing him. “Not a Christmas guy, huh?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be napping right now?” He brushed off your question.
“I don’t know, maybe you shouldn’t drive so grumpy.”
“I’ll be fine. Your thirty minutes is slipping away, though.”
“Okay fine, but don’t forget to wake me up when we cross the state line,” you reminded him.
“I know, I know. Are you always this bossy?” He snipped, his sudden coldness making you wish you’d never opened up to him about your family to begin with.
With a final, pointed look at him, you pulled the strings of his sweatshirt to cover your eyes and sank down into the seat. 
“Bah humbug,” you threw at him before drifting off to sleep.
Almost immediately, he missed the sound of your voice. 
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Hour six
In your dream, you sat alone at your kitchen table, your dad’s Bing Crosby vinyl skipped on the record player as you cried over an empty plate, not a single crumb of gingerbread left…
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Hour seven
The world was moving outside the windows, the early darkness of winter making the scene blurry, but you could tell the car was definitely still moving.
And Rafe was out cold in the driver’s seat.
“Oh my god!!” 
You shot up in your seat and grabbed the wheel, sure that you were about to go flying off the road any second. But the wheel was locked, and there was no engine’s rumble shaking the dash. The car was off. 
You blinked, your groggy mind finally catching up with reality. You weren’t driving, you were floating. The choppy ocean crashing against the side of the ship spraying little droplets of water on your windshield.
“Oh my god,” you repeated with a groan, this time less panicked and more pissed.
Rafe woke up with your body stretched across his lap, gripping the wheel as you groaned.
“Hi,” he mumbled with a sleepy smile, completely misreading the situation.
You sat back in your own seat and hit him on the shoulder, hard. 
“Oww, what the hell?” He sat up, rubbing his arm.
“Where the fuck are we?” You barked at him.
“We’re in your car on the way home,” he avoided the true answer. 
“I said I’d get you to the ferry…”
“And would ya look at that? You did!” He smiled sheepishly.
With scarily accurate comedic timing, the ship’s horn blared loudly, leaving no doubt.
“Rafe, we’re on the ferry!” You yelled, smacking him again.
“Would you stop hitting me please?! We were making good time and you looked so peaceful sleeping so I figured we’d just hop the ferry real quick and you’ll still make it home by six.”
You checked the time on your phone, eyes widening with realization.
“Just barely! At this rate I’ll be walking in the door at 5:58,” you argued.
“And just think of how many cookies you can eat in two minutes if you really put your mind to it,” he grinned at you. You were having none of his boyish charm this time, back to being a card carrying member of the “I Hate Rafe Cameron” club.
“I’m gonna kill you,” you mumbled.
“Okay, well can it wait until we’re on dry land? I get seasick and I want it to be a fair fight.”
He wasn’t letting up on the flirting, and you weren’t giving in. The rest of the boat ride was painfully quiet.
----❄----
“It’s just up here on the right, that metal gate,” he assured you as he approached his home, still trying to convince you that you had plenty of time.
Headlights bounced off the high white walls of his estate as the car pulled up. Your mouth hung open in disbelief.
“What is it?” He questioned.
“I knew you were probably rich, y’know based on your whole…” you gestured vaguely to him, “...thing. But holy shit.”
He grinned, “yeah it’s alright I guess.”
“Oh whatever,” you laughed. “It’s like a fucking castle!”
With a final left turn, he pulled into Tannyhill, the giant house completely dark at the end of the long drive. Rafe’s face fell slightly as he drove up, but he pushed the disappointment down when he felt your eyes on him.
“Home sweet home,” he said, feigning holiday cheer.
He put the car in park and grabbed his stuff from the backseat. You both got out, stopping in front of the car so he could hand you the keys.
“I should change so you can have your sweatshirt back,” you said.
“Nah you can give it back to me at school, I’ve delayed your schedule long enough.”
You smiled softly, giving him a grateful nod.
It was strange, you felt like you’d known him much longer than eight hours and yet you weren’t quite friends…you weren’t enemies either, but definitely not friends. How is one supposed to say goodbye to a non-enemy/non-friend? You settled on holding out your hand to shake. Rafe just looked down at your palm, huffing a laugh at the gesture.
“Well,” you shrugged, smiling back, “Merry Christmas I guess?”
He took your hand, giving it a firm shake and a squeeze, “yeah, Merry Christmas I guess.”
With a nod, you stepped around him and got back into your car, pulling up your GPS and entering your home address. So long as the ferry was still running on schedule and there wasn’t too much traffic, you’d get home with about five minutes to spare.
You put the car in reverse and got ready to back out of the driveway. You tried to keep your eyes fixed on the rearview, but you couldn’t help but steal one last look at Rafe as he walked through his front door.
Only, he wasn’t going inside. Or maybe he couldn’t go inside? He stood at the front door shaking the handle and having a very animated conversation with someone on his phone. Something wasn’t right.
Even though you knew you shouldn’t, you cracked your window slightly to hear the phone call. His back still turned to you, Rafe didn’t notice you could hear him and kept talking, loudly…
“The Bahamas? Are you kidding me?...I can’t believe you guys just left without me...well I wasn’t and then I got a ride…this could’ve been avoided if you’d just sent the jet like I asked…since when are you concerned about that?...well what the hell am I supposed to do now?!” 
The last question was said with a raised voice, aggression seeping into his tone. He made like he was about to say something else, but was cut-off, his shoulders falling as the voice on the other end got so loud that it carried all the way to your car. You couldn’t make out the words, but whoever he was talking to was clearly shouting even louder than Rafe had just been.
“Y-yes sir…I’m sorry…yes sir…no sir…okay I will…I lo-”
The phone beeped three times and the screen went black. Rafe stared down at it for a second before slipping it in his pocket and lifting a rock close to the door, retrieving a small silver key. As he raised it to the doorknob, his eyes caught yours in the reflection of the glass.
“You should get going,” he said, turning and noticing your window cracked. “You’re gonna miss your cookies.”
Fully busted for eavesdropping, you rolled the window the rest of the way down, “did they…are they not home?”
“Nah, they decided to spend Christmas in the Bahamas,” he explained.
“Oh. So you’re just gonna be here, like, alone?”
“I’ll be fine. I’m not a Christmas guy anyway, remember?” He gave you a tight lipped smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.
“Are-are you sure? You could…” You couldn’t quite bring yourself to say it. Were you really gonna offer for him to come home with you? You barely knew him, surely you couldn’t bring him home for Christmas. 
The offer fell dead on your lips, but Rafe knew where you were going with it, the pity in your voice a little too much for his pride.
“I’m really fine,” he said, nodding his head toward the road, “you should get back on the road. You’ve got a schedule to keep”
You gave him a soft smile as you put the car back into reverse, feeling guilty the whole way out of the driveway.
----❄----
Turning the Christmas radio station up, you tried to focus on gingerbread cookies as you waited in the long car line to get back on the ferry. 
He wasn’t your friend, in fact, he was kind of an asshole to you all day. You didn’t owe him anything. Plus, he surely wouldn’t be comfortable at your little house in the country. Not when he was used to all the flash of this island, the one his family seemingly owned based on all the signs with their name on it you passed on your short drive. No, he’d be fine. You’d get your cookies and he’d be fine.
“Ma’am,” the Ferry ticketing attendant tapped on your window to get your attention. 
You sighed deeply as you looked at the big ship, then down to your GPS, telling you there was only a minute to spare if you were gonna get home on time. 
Home. Yours, warm and full of love. His, empty and dark.
“We’ve got a schedule to keep,” the attendant urged. “Are you boarding or not?”
----❄----
The house was still dark but for one light glowing through an upstairs window.
You knocked three times, Rafe’s confused face finally appearing behind the glass. He opened the door with a questioning furrow of his brow. His bag was still packed, sitting right inside the door. You reached down to grab it, throwing it over your shoulder as you said, 
“You owe me a cookie.”
(part two)
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a/n: merry everything! I had so much fun writing this! There will be 3 more parts, just a lil present from me to you <3 there will be some hurt, but mostly comfort and a stocking full of fluff!
for updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs. to be tagged, just ask in the replies or send me an ask!
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taglist: @itneverendshere @rafediaries @promiscuousg1rl @eolsens @inlovewrafe
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depressedfungus · 1 year ago
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I love downloading dating apps, putting in that I’m a poly lesbian and immediately getting monogamous men swiping right on me
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rosenclaws · 2 months ago
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ok, ok “suck on my fingers.” and “don’t make a mess, baby.” prompt with the worse wolverine? btw i love your words!!!
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, overstimulation, cum eating (kinda? i think thats whats this called idk he just sticks his fingers in ur mouth after fingering)
600 follower drabble masterlist
a/n: I'm gonna be so real I am coping hard rn. I am devastated and worried for the future but if writing wolverine smut is what helps that is what I shall do. I hope you like it!!
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How long has it been? Minutes? Hours? Fuck at this point you'd believe that you've been here for days. Wrapped in his arms. Trapped under his adamantium bone and super human strength. The sheets slip through your fingers as your grip grows weaker. Logan has been teasing you, playing with you like a piece of meat.
Logan is upright against the headboard. He’s got your back against his chest. One of strong arms is keeping you upright. Forcing you to sit there. His other hand is shoved into your panties. He didn’t even bother to take them off.
There’s something playing on the TV in your room but you lost any sense of your surroundings about an hour ago. Logan likes to play with his food. Always has.
Your big hot boyfriend loves to make a mess of things before he eats.
“Oh Fuck Logannnn.” You whine as he slips two of his fingers into your already soaked cunt.
Your panties are soaked from Logan’s touch. He won’t even bother taking them off. He likes the obscene sight of his hands down them. Loves seeing his fingers disappear and watch your cute face scrunch up in pleasure.
You’re trying with all your might to squirm away. Not that you wanted him to stop but the pleasure was overwhelming. Your body was moving without your brain at this point. Pure instinct. Logan growls in your ear. Shoving another finger inside to shut you up.
“Quiet. I’m not done with you yet.” You tilt your neck to the side as Logan’s rough thumb starts to circle your clit harshly.
The sounds of your pleasure are loud and Logan is unashamedly eating them up. His fingers movie faster and faster. Pounding into you with a force that makes you scream. Your dripping down his hands and onto the sheets. Logan tuts and shakes his head mockingly.
“Don’t make a mess baby.” He scolds as he drives his fucking fingers deep inside of you. Fucking liar. He loves when you make a mess. Nothing boosts his ego more.
He feels so good. His fingers are tearing you apart. He’s hell bent on making you come harder than you ever have. He can never get enough. It's like a competition with himself. Making sure you know only he can do this to you over and over. A pressure builds deep in your core and your eyes widen when you feel a certain feeling.
“Logan wait I-“ Your pleas are silenced as another moan rips through your throat.
You chant his name over and over as your legs start to shake. Logan watches in awe as you squirt all over the bed. He doesn't let up as he pulls as much as he can. You're moaning only pushes him further. He's whispering dirty things in your ear but you can barely hear him. Your body is screaming in pure pleasure and its all you can hear.
"Too much." You manage to whimper out as Logan continues to fuck his fingers into you.
He hums and in a moment of mercy decides you've had enough for tonight. Such a good pet. His fingers are coated. He pulls them apart and smirks as he brings them to your lips.
“Come on, suck on my fingers." He coos as you lazily open your mouth. Your perfect pretty lips surrounding his fingers, sucking your own juices from his fingers.
"Taste yourself, see why I can't get enough of this delicious cunt." His eyes grow dark as he watches your lips take his fingers so easily. You look up with glossy eyes. Completely fucked out because of him.
"Cute." He presses a kiss to your forehead and pulls you closer. His fingers slip out of your mouth and he dips back down into your soaked underwear. You whine when he gently brushes over your sensitive clit.
"Shhh sweetheart," His moves are softer this time, gentle.
"Just relax. Let me get my taste too."
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