#In which we are all in mourning | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kakusu-shipping · 2 years ago

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Where were you the day Mondatta died?

a self insert fic about loss, grief, and the stages we go through.

Ramattra was in a Talon meeting, under an agreement he’d regretted making. He was mad, he was rash, and now he’d face the consequences of his actions

Akande Ogundimu, more commonly know as Doomfist, stood proud, a live feed from Talon’s best assassin playing on a holo projection before him. Next to Ramattra was Maximillien, the highest ranked Omnic in Talon, just there for the ravager’s personal comfort.

They’d both assured him of this assassin’s efficiency, how she always hits her mark. One shot, one kill, they’d all said. When he’d had a moment, Ramattra couldn’t help but question her on this reputation.

“Everyone misses” she had answered, and now here Ramattra stood in a room of people he despised watching the brother he loved through the eyes of a killer he himself requested.

Ramattra’s grip on his staff would be enough to crush the woman’s spine three times over, as he stared unwavering at the screen, and prayed for the first time in a long time for a miracle

In an hour, the deal would be set. Mondatta would be dead, and Ramattra, his troops, his Omnics, his skills, would belong to Talon.

He would have no time to mourn in the long hours following his brother’s death. He would have no time to reflect on those back at the Shambali, the family he’d abandoned, and how they may be dealing with the loss. He would have no time to allow the pain of his choices to sink in.

And in the quiet hours, the few of them he had, he would return to the day he’d met Mondatta. Caked in blood and oil, alone on a battle field somewhere in New York city, he’d point his gun to the Monk, trembling. Mondatta would approach him and gently lay the gun to rest. He’d embrace the ravager, staining his beautiful white and gold robes in blood and oil, and Ramattra would cling to him, whimpering like a child, unable to face what he’d been made to do.

Could he face it now? Could he stand on battle fields of his own making and face his past again, knowing for sure this time his brother would not come to embrace him as he once had, sharing in the stains of his past

He had no time to ponder such things. What’s done is done. He had no time for regret, he had no time for doubt. It was time to push forward, to take what he’d been given and what he’d asked for and use it to better his people’s lives.

The time for action is now.

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Genji and Zayne, Shimadas healed in the Shambali temples, were on tour. A journey of helping, of time off, of moments spent together free as they’d ever been.

They’d stopped in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, a small city with a little silly bit of history they both enjoyed looking into.

In moments they’d overhear someone watching the news a little too loudly in public about the loss of Mondatta. Their carefree moment of exploration around a funny man moth driven town ruined. They’d be left crushed, huddled together in a back alley attempting in vein to calm each other down

Moments from now they’d both experience grief worse than they’d felt sense Genji first died, grief over a man who loved them, who welcomed them into his home and brought them to a family that would stand by them as they healed and grew.

They would find a hotel, and grieve over night. They next day they’d pack up, and return to the Shambali to find the village quiet, in mourning, monks locked away in their homes in meditation, grieving as Zayne and Genji had.

Emile would force a smile to welcome them, and apologize for the quiet. They wouldn’t see Zenyatta.

A week would pass, sitting in silence by a crackling fire, Genji would face his little brother.

“I want to find Hanzo.” The older couldn’t bare to loose any more family, and his brother was out there, lost, thinking himself alone in a sea of his own thoughts, thinking Genji dead and gone from this world. “I want him to know I’m still here. That I still.. love him.”

It would be hard on them, the older and younger so close, and yet still so distant. A love just rekindled, splitting.

They would continue to travel, separated by entire oceans. Would they keep in contact? Could they keep in contact? A family split, miles and miles of land and sea separating them.

That would be their future. For now, in this moment, they sit together in an alley in Point Pleasant, West Virginia, crying together for the loss of someone they’d known their entire new lives.

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Emile was in a bar, packed full with his family, other students of the Shambali, Omnics big and small.

The bar tender had turned on the live broadcast of Mondatta’s speech. They didn’t have a television in the Monastery, and this bar was the only place open late enough to catch most of Mondatta’s touring live.

The room was hot with tightly packed monks, machines whirring and scraping together as they chatted amongst themselves, always a buzz to leave the temple.

Emile sat at the bar, a cup of orange juice in hand as he once again thanked the bar tender of letting them all take control of his television. He never minded, liked seeing the monks, he’d say, they always seemed so chipper.

In just a few seconds the atmosphere would change. All would go dead silent as Mondatta fell limp on the television.

No one would speak, no one would move. The humans in the rooms would hold their breath and wait.

Waiting for anything other than what they’d just witnessed to be true.

They’d all wait for hours in that little bar. They’d barrow phones from passers by. They’d knock on near by doors. The entire town would be up, awaiting an update, news on Mondatta’s situation.

Within two hours it would be officially announced that Mondatta has died.

There was only one who could shed tears in that bar that night, despite the near hundred people packed in together. He would cry enough for all of them.

In the coming days the Shambali Monastery would grow silent. Monks holed up in their homes, deep in meditation and prayer. The village would become a ghost town, spare one little human.

Emile just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t sleep in that home, knowing Mondatta would never return. He couldn’t wear those robes, knowing Mondatta would never straighten them for him again. He couldn’t sit to meditate, knowing Mondatta could never sit by his side once more.

So he cleaned, in his sweater and jeans that no longer fit quiet as nicely as they once had. He swept snow off the stairs and dusted the sanctum and washed laundry that had already been cleaned thrice over.

He would not eat, he would sleep, for a near 4 days the human kept himself busy, and never once would he step foot in Mondatta’s home.

He’d smile when Zayne and Genji would come back. He’d tell the townsfolk the village was doing just fine when he’d go to get supplies. He’d keep himself busy as the monks around him mourned.

And in 5 days time, he would collapse in the snow, dressed in few too little clothes, just as he had the day he’d arrived at the Shambali. And like that day he will be saved by a monk he’d come to know better than all the rest.

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On that day, the day they’d lost Mondatta, Zenyatta was at home, in meditation. He loved his brother dearly, but watching his speeches at protests was starting to get rather same-y. The monk needed new lessions, Zenyatta had thought to himself.

He’d be unaware of the loss for another 2 hours, until the chimes of the temple rang out, and he would join his siblings at the sanctum, and hear the news from the group that had gone into town.

Like everyone else, Zenyatta would lock himself away in his home. Sat against a wall he would stare blankly, perusing the web in his own head for any and all sources he could find on Mondatta’s death.

He’d loose track of days, reading article after article, watching video after video, scanning for anything new he could find.

Why, he would ask himself, why would anyone take out Mondatta? What could he have done, who could he have hurt just trying to spread love?

Zenyatta would spend time wishing death on whoever would do something so awful, just to retract the thought moments later. His brother would not want such a thing for even the person who would take his life.

On the third day of mourning Zenyatta would stumble into something he would wish he hadn’t. An image of the assassin.

A face to put to his desire of vengeance.

A woman with blue skin and long dark hair, an awfully tight purple suit and a large sniper rifle.

For the next few days Zenyatta would spend all his time staring at the blurry photo of this woman, wishing the worst upon her. May she loose those closest to her and may it be her own fault. May she feel the worst pains imaginable and survive. May she live the rest of her life with these regrets and no way to return. May she find a path to recovery just to have the door slammed in her face.

On the fifth day, these thought plaguing Zenyatta’s head would finally drive him mad. He would storm from his home with a bag of few things, vengeance his only thought as he crushed snow beneath his feet.

His plan to leave the village, to find the woman who did this, to put her in the ground himself, would be interrupted as a white haired man with puffy red eyes would collapse in front of him.

Thoughts of her would leave the monk alone after so long of obsession as he found himself in the company Emile, the human had taken the loss of Mondatta just about as well as Zenyatta.

That night, they would stop avoiding the truth. They’d lost Mondatta, their brother, their master, their family, and it hurt. Together they would face this, over hot tea and by a dying fire, they’d relive stories of their life in that Monastery.

Stories of sneaking out of meditations, of snow ball fights, of counting stars atop the mountain, of learning, and laughing, and being home and happy.

The night would pass and they would still be sat there, at Zenyatta’s low tea table Mondatta had gotten him for his birthday two years ago, sitting back to back in a comfortable silence.

“I want to find Ramattra,�� Zenyatta will say, his hand laid gently on top of Emile’s. “He is lost, wherever he is, I am sure he is as lost as we were” He thinks back to the day Ramattra left, the fight he and Mondatta had, the last words he’d said to their brother... He knew Ramattra regretted that, now more than ever.

“We’ll find him.” Emile will smile over his shoulder, “Together.”

And in that moment, a moment of calm between storms, Zenyatta will look back and realize quietly to himself

He is in love. He has been in love for years. This. This was what love was for him.

#Emile's Writing #Oooooooooh I had a long day and am very very tired BUT #HERE WE ARE #I was debating with myself for a long long time on posting this #Sense it's like. Part of MY self insert fic like a thing I wanted to eventually cover #but whatever we post out of order here you go have my emotional writing #In which we are all in mourning #Every Overwatch Self Inserter you HAVE to tell me what you were doing and where you were when you learned of Mondatta's death #It's THE big deal to me for Overwatch plot so I just always need to know how everyone else handled it #The fact is pretty often Not Great #A lil Zayne and Genji moment I'm back and forth on deleting but hhhhhhhh whatever #There it is a little moment of them of their feelings if you want the full thing go check out probably-some-goat #for The Dragon and The Fox his S/I fanfiction it's very good #These scenes sit with me man I'm thinking thonking them all the time #I believe Ramattra agreed to join Talon ONLY if they took out Mondatta #And then immedetly regretted that #Because he makes very rash choices and defaults to violence and needs things done NOW #This is my belief and if anything at least that part of this fic was good #I've always had where I was worked out and it's simply always heart breaking #Aight 1am gonna go to bed soon probably #Will try to get the actual in order 3rd part of my s/i fic out like soon-ish #We're gonna have to see on that one besties

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months ago

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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.

#Better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #digital art #This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.

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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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we really didn't get violent enough about roe v wade being overturned. but and also - you're one person. you donated money. you went to the protest. you did what you could, which felt like doing basically nothing.

recently some big paper published an op ed (why did you even read it? you knew you'd get upset) about how it's gross that men can't find a partner because women don't want to suffer bad dates - they'd rather go to yoga class. you actually laughed - well, yeah! and it was funny until it wasn't, because something about it made your stomach churn. this is the thing, you want to say, but you don't have the words for what the thing is. just that men being bad at dating is your fault.

the thing is also on instagram. you don't know if it's a setting or algorithm thing, but these days, the most hurtful comments always seem to skim the top. simple reaction is don't read the comments but - you're human, so you're curious. you want to respond to every weird, sanctimonious one with replaying something a million times to find evidence they're lying about their gender is literally sexual harassment you shouldn't be proud of this or maybe get a fucking life you absolute dickhead but you've gotten into enough of these battles as a kid. nothing ever resolves. it just makes you upset.

your father was radicalized. the thing is - you go to therapy about it and yet never find the words for exactly the way that one hurts.

the other day your sister predicted that a commercial that aired during the superbowl was going to cause trouble. you wanted her to be wrong about that. this morning, while scrolling, you saw someone post exactly that - he got so angry i had to leave. it was terrifying. it reminds you, however bleakly: there are entire swathes of people who do not worry about domestic violence. who have no idea why you would put keys into your fist. who do not understand "it's better to be rude than dead." who have never googled am i being gaslit.

the other day you found out there's a bill that would make it so if you have a uterus and are braindead, you could fulfil your cattle purpose and carry a fetus to term. you think about the fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant people is murder. you think about ongoing and informed consent. you think about how, out of fear, if your ex boyfriend had pressured you, you absolutely would have said yes to it. in the comments, you write there is no way that these documents wouldn't be immediately forged. this is going to be misused. and then just delete it, sighing. get up and go to work.

the other day they overturned roe v wade. we weren't nearly violent enough about it. somewhere, a clock is ticking. it's been ticking a long time. you want to say it's time, but it's been time for a while, hasn't it.

#<3 time to get cancelled on the internet #btw this is trans inclusive author is nb #writeblr #i had a kind of argument with someone about that bill bc he was like ''oh but we do this for other organs'' and im like #okay so like the time it takes to safely extract an organ #versus NINE MONTHS of not having consent . not being able to bury the body.#my family unable to mourn. being used a host.#even if ALL OF THAT was NOT the case.#i do not believe for a fucking SECOND this would be use safely. i cannot imagine a world in which #it was not immediately and with gusto. used to abuse others

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aardvaark · 6 months ago

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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.

#leverageposting #leverage #sophie devereaux #particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school #or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think #she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks #she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself #as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund #her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one #or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s #bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random #hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times #in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer #enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth #name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg

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thedeadthree · 5 months ago

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𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 ➸ irulanne . the rook .

𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 . 𝐄𝐋𝐅 . 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 .

-`. template by @kanos . coloring . icons .

✧ ― 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (ask to be added or removed or interact 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!!):

@pavus, @wlwaerith, @shadowsofrose, @grapecaseschoices, @nokstella

@queennymeria, @risingsh0t, @carrionsflower, @leviiackrman, @griffin-wood

@confidentandgood, @aceghosts, @tommyarashikage, @shadowglens, @yharnams

@anoras, @theelderhazelnut, @florbelles, @celticwoman, @pinkfey

@kyberinfinitygems, @cloudofbutterflies92, @carlosoliveiraa, @shellibisshe, @adelaidedrubman

@lavampira, @capelizabeth, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @statichvm, @unholymilf

@aezyrraeshh, @imogenkol, @aceghosts, @full---ofstarlight, @ellierenae

#oc: irulanne #leg.ocs #leg.edits #*myedits #*ocedit #dragon age rook #da:tv #datv #my necromancer !!!!!!! my baby she’s here!!#teehee the first of the rooks !! so far i have 4 on standby for the fall the brainworms are brainwormingg jnhdkhnsk #spot the lucanne reference hehee twas a must to add something of luca in there he and lanna have had me in a CHOKEHOLD all a week hehe <3 #colorings by cavalier remainn ICONIC andd SPEAKING OF WHICH THIS TEMPLATE GOLLY HOLLY #ty tyy orion this template was SOO good *screams* i had SO much fun working with it!!!!!#alsoo the official tarot for necromancers / mages / sidony from inky youll always be loved by MEE.#i am not sure if i want to go too much into her lore yet as its so early but the brainrot is brainrotting and i have SOO many thoughts!!#her history her lore how i see her interacting with the world and the world with her lanna's personality and her dynamic with luca AHHHH #*rattling the bars of my cage* FALL COME SOONER !!#lanna has had the braincell for the week STRAIGHT hdbjh <33 #the high stakes tennis match between dragon show and dragon game brainrot hehe <33 #ill hopefully have something for them too soooon I MISSED THEMM SO MUCHH #her lighthouse outfit + luca's outfit hehe couples that wear *almost* matching outfits thats soulmates or something (im normal) HEHEE #her name (hopefully the last time i change it djksncks) is inspired by i*rulan from d*une !!#an arcane prodigy entering her girlfailure era <33 girlbossed too close to the sun if u will JNDKJDSN #seemingly puts on an air of confidence but hides BIIIG time nervous wreck energy shes gonna take messing things up well i can feel it :')#i feel like a lot of clothes for her are sort of reminiscent of her time in the mourn watchers? all based on aspects of the dead??#like bones or etc?? but i also love that she could be a lightning learning mage with other magic so she takes to that more ethereal nature #to her style !! she’s also a BIG fan of the opera and was sort of praised as this golden child an arcane prodigy #the gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline she is really feeling it now 🥀🤧#hi hi moots if u read all that i am baking you cookies as we speak THERES SO MUCH MORE LOREE on her i have im screaming she’s everythingg #AHH IT WORKED IT POSTED <33 so so happy i can yell about her now HEHE 🥀💌

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himbohimhoe · 12 days ago

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Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.

#wow the demons which are one of the consistently evil forces in these games did something bad #hey players do you know that that was not nice #ok thank you. do u think I am 4 #dav spoilers #veilguard spoilers #dragon age the veilguard #also grinding my gears that everyone (including dalish elves???) just immediately accept the evanuris are evil/have come back #like the first person to not immediately believe it is the first warden and honestly he is the only character so far I respect #like maybe if this was like inquisition and a huge hole in the sky/rifts opened everywhere #but it seems like nothing like that happened but everyone somehow magically knows about the ritual and instantly believes everything rook sa #the more I think about these things the more annoyed I get #guys did you know being a leader means u sometimes need to make hard decisions... varric taught me that in my ma15+ game #i am enjoying the combat at least lol and I like Bellara and want to see Babylon so I'm in it for the long haul #why does everyone have a gun to their head making them nice though like it's so painfully out of place sometimes #and being able to only say the same thing but in a slightly boring slightly funny or slightly serious way is driving me insane #like I seem to be the only one who had no problem w the limits on dialogue in inquisition but this is driving me insane #Mourn watch rook what if you were somehow boring and nice. yay thank you bioware #ALSO rook stop talking and forming opinions without me getting to choose what u say like no I don't want u to day we have to save that perso #ok I swear I'm done now.. I need to go back to writing my thesis instead of grinding my teeth about this game #this is all coming from an inquisition enjoyer as well (sorry) but like so far I have found nothing I enjoyed about inquisition in this game #maybe if the inquisitor and Ghilan'nain are cool latee on I can focus on that (big maybe)#I am only early on still (just met first warden) so there is still time... i guess..

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veilkeeper · 5 days ago

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you really can tell that they had no idea what to do with the lords of fortune

#which i expected to be clear #but wow its SUPER obvious #to a certain extent this also applies to the mourn watchers #why are all their quests dealing with demons and undead elsewhere in the world?#cant we be dealing with like. internal faction shit #corentin pt #dav #dav spoilers

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queen0fm0nsterz · 10 months ago

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Ended up pirating all of Hazbin for the sake of my younger days (used to be a fan when I was around 14/15, before all the stuff with Viv came out) and I am so surprised by how I felt... nothing for the most part. Like a lot of the show's storylines feel like they was crammed in there with no real pacing. A lot of this should have been season 2 territory, which is a sentiment I've seen echoed around, but also... it feels as if the show is trying to be episodic while also having a long narrative thread, which just doesn't work with just 8 episodes. Especially not when paced like this. So I kinda ended up feeling nothing for the most part. All the events got a "Oh, great, so what?" reaction out of me because there was little to no buildup to most of them.

Sir Pentious was always a fave of mine so I was glad to see they kept him around and, though I think we should have had more episodes with him as a villain, I think how he ended up was fitting for what little of an arc he had. I am livid about what they did to Cherri and Mimzy.

I fucking loved Mimzy, I have no idea why they sent her away -- having someone like her at the Hotel would have been a blast considering how the others are already on the road to redemption. She would have balanced it out by being a regular sinner, someone who doesn't care about redemption and won't probably ever care unless it's in her best interests to. Plus her friendship with Alastor was quite cute, they bounce off of each other very well imo. Plus I could see her have a bit of a conflict with both Charlie and Vaggie because of her ways of acting. I'm so sorry they took that from you girlboss.

And Cherri... dear lord where WAS she? She should have been a lot more present. I used to like her relationship with Angel and I even think Cherrisnake is cute conceptually, but both these relationship had... little to no room to breathe imo.

#hazbin hotel critical #not putting this in the main tag #i wouldnt call myself a fan but i guess i can mourn what could have been #not considering viv and her controversities for a second... the pilot had a very nice feeling to it #that the series was not able to replicate #i think my liking of mimzy should come as a surprise to NO ONE LMAOOOO #i love evil selfish women im sorry ... sue me #we need to save mimzy sir pen and cherribomb from hazbin everyone else can rot #ok in all fairness i will give the show credit for ONE thing #i kind of enjoyed adam and lute as antagonists. adam is insufferable which is awesome #it makes it easy to hate him as a villain. and lute being his right hand woman makes sense #they read like a christian couple (term used loosely) where the man is a misogynistic asshole and the woman just kinda endorses it #which is perfect if you wanna make a critique of heaven and the humans who go in it because they repented or whatever #i always love dumbass villains who are easy to hate (mamoon from helluva being another example of a villain i enjoy)#thats it. thats all i have in terms of compliments #would love to adress the Angel Dust controversy because as a victim of SA (and CSA) myself I think there is nuance to be found in --#-- having a discussion about how we see survivors and how we portray the abuse they endure #i was an unconventional victim too. i kind of see a glimpse of me in Angel which is why I was LIVID when I got the full picture of the --#-- situation. but still

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kyojuuros · 2 months ago

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knowing communication is vital to a healthy relationship but never knowing how to start a conversation or holding back because you don't want to burden them with your emotions or say/do something that will push them away and just generally being socially inadept is such a fun time! :)

#i was so content being single why did i sign up for this again?#i like this person so much and i'm already so attached #and they've reassured me that they want to be with me also #but things are going so fucking slow and i think right now they have to #because of their mental state and things they are just trying to figure out about themselves and what they want #and i just want to be there for them through it and help them sort things out #but i guess some of the issue is they are mourning a relationship that they wanted but that didn't get to happen #but that apparently after we basically established yeah let's be a thing the other person reached in hopes they could meet each other #which like they told me it's more an issue now of letting the other person down easy and let them know they found a person to be with #but i'm just not coping with this knowledge very well at all #despite the reassurance from them that i'm the one they wanna be with #and i think i'm struggling because i'm probably jealous because they are friends and have been for years #and i don't want to be jealous i just wanna be chill about it #like i'm not going to be the person who makes them feel like they can't maintain their long term friendships #i won't be that person #but it makes me feel insecure like i'm competing against someone i don't even know #and i worry they're going to realize i just fucking suck and decide that to leave me to try something with that person instead #but i don't know how to even start a conversation or convey these feelings to them without fearing it's going to start some bullshit #that i don't want tainting the relationship #even outside of that like #i wanna know so many things about them but i don't even know where to start or if i can just ask them questions #everything scares me relationships are scary #i'm so fucking scared of being hurt again #ugh #personal #sorry i just needed to dump this somewhere because i've been bottling it up for a fucking week now #it did not make me feel better but at least i got the words out

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randomnameless · 9 months ago

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Dragons matter, fuck human supremacy!

Found Zephiel's account lol

All jokes aside, it's very telling how Roy was meme'd as "uwu racist" in FEH because of his skills, when Roy is arguing for coexistence between humans and dragons to Zeph, who wants to get rid of humans.

Roy wants to tell Zeph to still have faith in humanity - and not write it off - so humanity can still live and thrive and prosper alongside dragons!

Usually the other antagonists want to erase or look down on the non human race to prop up humanity - but in FE6, Zeph's reasoning is reversed!

And Roy's solution is the same as every other lord faced with this issue - Fodlan excluded because Fodlan treats this issue as horse piss, only relevant, fittingly, in Tru Piss - it's not X over Y or Y over X, it's X and Y living together.

It's kind of frightening how the newest FE games (bar Engage, so maybe it's just a Kusakihara thing?) completely elude the "live together solution" and end up pushing the "Humanity fuck yeah" answer...

#anon #replies #fe series #FE is all about everyone matters fuck racism or specism?#and then you have the Kusakihara directed games #maybe I've always played the 'wrong' jprgs series #but the 'humanity fuck yeah non humans bads' thing has never been a thing in the games i've played?#let it be FE or the Tales series #granted i refused to touch the FF series and Squenix until recently for stupid reasons #which is why TS was such a mood whisplash with its Hyzante BaD BaD BAD #Aesfrost not that BaD see random civilians mourn when their soldier dad dies #but we don't see anything remotely similar for Hyzante #where's the so called earl grey morality if one faction has no redeeming qualities?#meh

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innocet · 2 months ago

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Cis people don’t respect non-binary people who are “androgynous” more than “feminine” or “masculine” presenting non-binary people. They just don’t want you to be non-binary. There is no perfectly androgynous version of yourself who will suddenly be always gendered correctly. Wear the fucking skirt

#gender math is a fool’s game !#there is no passing as non-binary because non-binary existence is not a social role cis society accepts #you will not be handed your gender by strangers you must take it by force. which is a truth we all have to mourn #posts I make because my aunt said ‘if you don’t want to be seen as a girl why don’t you cut your hair?’#fucka you. have you considered I like my hair.

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clodiuspulcher · 8 months ago

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today im thinking about malaria in ancient rome.

about the fact that P. falciparum (the most dangerous kind of malaria) was likely endemic at least from the 2nd century BC onward that Galen said semitertian fevers (P. falciparum infections) were more common in Rome than anywhere else in the Roman Empire that the most severe manifestations of P. falciparum (quotidian fevers + cerebral malaria) were most common in babies and young children, an epidemiological observation that indicates the transmission rate of P. falciparum was extremely high in Rome that Quintus Serenus said there was no Latin word for semitertian fevers (they used a transliteration of the Greek, 'hemitritaeos') because "no one, i think, could have named it in our language and mothers would not have wanted to"

#working on my thesis gonna bring down the mood of the whole department #but i feel like i have to honor them #and the thing about malaria that fucks me up is P. falciparum has been around for tens of thousands of years #its not a disease of agriculture like smallpox or of sanitary issues that come with civilization like typhoid #it predates agriculture its been found in the bodies of mummies from ancient egypt and skeletons from ancient greece and rome #there are species-specific plasmodium parasites for gorrillas chimpanzees and humans #which to me indicates there was a plasmodium parasite for every now lost hominid #malaria is the strongest recent evolutionary pressure on the human genome #upwards of 30% of people in some parts of the world are heterozygous for sickle cell anemia #or heterozygous for SE asian ovalocytosis #thus it was more evolutionarily advantageous for 2-3% of all children to die #so about 30% of people could be protected from severe malaria #these mutations take a long time to evolve. parasites take a long time to evolve #there are people who mourned their infants tens of thousands of years ago in languages we will never know with rituals we will never see #and i cant do anything about any of that but i can keep going to the lab every day and trying my best to figure it out #because so many generations of humans stretching back to before we were human could not

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jrueships · 3 months ago

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Gg and his big sis nyla !!!!! who gave him the nickname gg bcs she couldn't say Gregory when they were lil ones!!

#the matching flower shorts 🥺#gg trying to look 😾 when we all know hes 😸#especially nyla lol #nyla is living the dream bro she goes out and enjoys fancy food and shops like yes! as she should!#look at the nails !!!#also ggs locs are growing longer which is cute but !! that means theyve got more weight!#hes losing his ahoge!!!!!#very sad #feel like im losing my first child or smthing #i will mourn the ahoge #gg

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group-dynamic · 1 month ago

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Rings of Power Spoilers for Season 2 Episode 8. (Also, predictions based on book knowledge. Beware!)

So very much to talk about in this finale which I loved, but three takeaways for now:

What a testament to Charlie Vickers' performance all season that Sauron's tears after Celebrimbor's death feel so utterly layered and genuine and entirely grotesque. The immediate image that was conjured for me was a cat that's just killed the mouse they were playing with. That look you see in a cat when they touch the dead mouse with their paw a few times despondently because they're now genuinely upset and sore and sorry for themself because the mouse won't "play" with them anymore. The self deception of those tears, unwitnessed, and thus genuine, but also entirely unearned due to him being the sole arbiter of that death. Horrifying! (And Charlie revealed in his recent interview with Nerd of the Rings that he's fully aware that early draft Sauron was essentially a cat so we keep winning on this metaphor, haha)

2. The absolutely beautiful little moment we got with Theo and Isildur made me even more certain that Theo will grow up to be the king who betrays his oath and doesn't show up to fight against Sauron in the last alliance, leading to him being cursed by Isildur. And it's absolutely going to shatter my heart. Theo, the son of a healer and thus, as Aragorn will one day express, perfectly aligned with the role of a king. Theo whose father is unknown in a country looking for the king they were promised. Theo who is theoretically (no pun intended lol) not blessed with long life like the Numenoreans--which means Isildur would see him grow up and pass him in visual age and grow into his role. The deeply personal nature of a curse between old friends. I will not survive it if that is Theo's destiny. These are my sons.

3. I truly loved how well everything wove beautifully into the thematic threads of this story. I was deeply moved all episode. Except. . . okay, was anyone else really baffled by the imagery in the last moments? It was so clear that Galadriel's arc and the story as a whole was coming to a close on this idea of choosing to act as a shield (protect, defend, don't use your children as warriors to seek revenge, choose togetherness and healing, not singular acts, don't make war heedlessly, gather strength together). I mean, Galadriel has been fighting over giving up her sword (dagger) and all it represents for ages, and in that last moment in future Rivendell of all places, a place of healing and rest, with a battered collection of wounded veterans and refugees and non-combatants and children, Gil Galad raises his sword??? and the gathered elves also raise any weapons they have??? And they're making battle cries??? I . . . was . . . confused, lol. Was I interpreting this incorrectly? I mean, of course the free peoples of Middle Earth should fight back against a powerful enemy, no matter how small they are or how impossible the odds seem (i.e. Durin v. Balrog), but. . . . I felt like that was a little out of sync with every other piece of imagery and message that the elves were working through this season. . . This was their moment to realize the rings were not a weapon in their hands but a shield and instead it bordered on disturbing for me. . . that's how jarring that last shot felt. . It didn't ruin the episode for me or anything, but I was . . . ????

(I think Galadriel being a visual light for the elves works. I think Gil Galad and the gang drawing swords together to make a promise to defend the vulnerable would have worked, but this felt like a real mix of metaphors here. Maybe there was some debate on set about which way to go and they compromised on a mix of imagery. )

#trop spoilers #rop spoilers #trop #rings of power #My only other moments of “huh?” were Arondir's miraculous recovery which we are all confused was never explained #(my theory is they had Adar heal him but then they decided they wanted to save the “reveal” of Adar's pre-torture face for later)#(which is also my theory for why he had that weird CGI effect at the end of episode 7.)#And the other moment that jarred me was that--while Elrond's reaction to the lore burning was /completely/ in character #and I loved that scene #it made more noticeable the absence of any scene where he explicitly mourned elves #I think that lore burning scene was meant to be him wanting to defend what's left of Celebrimbor in addition to hating the destruction of #knowledge but they needed some indication of that if that were the intention (“more important than jewels or blood” indicates the work #supersedes even the value of Celebrimbor's life which is an accidental implication I believe

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