#fucka you. have you considered I like my hair.

[innocet]

Cis people don’t respect non-binary people who are “androgynous” more than “feminine” or “masculine” presenting non-binary people. They just don’t want you to be non-binary. There is no perfectly androgynous version of yourself who will suddenly be always gendered correctly. Wear the fucking skirt

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Pls tell me your ideas about their maybe-mom. And also any other ideas you have been playing around with that you are willing to share. Submas homelife hcs are always so interesting and fun esp if they're ones I've never heard before

WAH OKAY!! under a cut because. oh god i talked so much. i didn't realize that was gonna happen oops.

actually the funny thing is i have so many things i'm really solid on abt this character except for her uhhh. name. my first thought was anita virosa joy as a shortened form of amanita virosa (we'll get to why) but there's already a character in unova named after amanita so it feels... weird... and then i was also thinking about shepard joy, bc i think shepherd/shepard is a sort of fun thing to call both her and the subway bosses, and also bc it sort of nods to the only unovans with a full canonical name, the harmonias, who are named after musical tones (ghetsis specifically is named after a tritone), as a reference to shepard tones. but then idk if i want to change anita.

and uh. oh god this post is gonna be 50% talking about names, fuck. but unovan names are generally three parts. they use the roman tria nomina, so it goes first name-last name-last name part 2. which is why AVJ/ASJ, and not just AV/AS or AJ. the majority of the time, the last last name denotes a branch of the family, generally stemming from one person who was notable enough to earn a new one.

anyway, the last part of her name is definitely Joy. this is... getting into the region of hcs where i always sort of stop and go "dude this is pokemon. where are we going with this." but anyway, Pokémon Center Nurses in this hc are also generally referred to as "Nurse Joy," like the anime nurses, because their actual legal name is, always, Joy. this is bc the Joy Nursing Order is very intense as an organization, and it's kind of a requirement to adopt the name as a symbol of dedication. this is also why they all look the same like, down to the hair. Nurse Joy is almost like a character you adopt during work hours. most regions just have the family name and personal name, so you'd be XYZ Joy or Joy XYZ, but since unova has three names, it's not uncommon to see people preserve one part of their family name alongside Joy. i guess she could also be joy shepard? hmm.

...anyway. so yeah. she's a pokémon center nurse! or, a retired one, by the time of bw. and the reason why i'm not sold on her being like their, birth mom? or "adopted through normal legal channels" mom? is i don't think she intended to have. kids. being a nurse joy is kind of a demanding job and she's also super single (albeit pretty extroverted with a large social circle, but not really anyone that's like, coparent-with-me close). this is one of those things i keep going back and forth about, but right now what i'm thinking is that maybe the twins were originally the kids of friends of hers, who were very not prepared for having twins or kids as uhh. demanding. as they were. it might have originally been a temporary thing, where said friends went "hey anita i'm sooo super sorry to do this to you but can you watch them for a while while we uhhhhh leave. thx." and then she was like fucka you i'm keeping them. and they were fairly young but not like, babies at that time, probably somewhere in the 8-12 range. but this is all maybe things. if this IS the scenario, i think they're still vaguely in touch with those people (bc extended family interactions with other bw chars maybe) but probably don't consider them family. anita is their mom, thanks.

outside of being a nurse and their mom, her main hobby is pokemon fostering/rehab. she does both. her home's always overrun with little guys. she'll take more or less any of them, as long as they fit physically in her home lmao, but SPECIFICALLY she really likes poison types. her main partner's probably an amoonguss. (this is why the amanita virosa connection.) her one major deviation from the Nurse Joy Uniform is all of the bandaids and such because her hands & arms are perpetually fucked up. it's fine tho. she's used to it. a small price to pay for poison type.

relatedly i think the garbodor on the subway boss teams is actually from her originally. one of her major life goals has been a campaign to get larger unovan cities to shift from trubbish eradication efforts & perceiving them as pests towards actually treating them as worker pokemon, and giving them better care, with alolan grimer and muk and galarian weezing being a major source of inspiration. garbage pokemon are a known phenomenon! if you treat them right they will not be deadly!! she's actually been making pretty good progress on this one, esp. after she retired and could devote more time to it, and esp. in nimbasa city for no reason in particular.

while a lot of it is their own personal thing, i think she also encouraged parts of the twins' specific attitude towards responsibilities and like, general life philosophy. like, "you always have a duty to work with the task or the problem that's in front of you, to improve things for the people around you," etc. which is also sort of a joy nursing order attitude but she takes it to heart and applies it to the rest of her life in a very specific way. and then they took that and put their own spin on it.

i think she lives in anville town, maybe? somewhere where she can have a big enough house and yard to have two kids and a rotating cast of pokes, so not the city, lol. she's close with them still, and they visit pretty frequently (it helps that it's so easy for them if she's in anville) and also sometimes have pokemon for her or will help rehome some of them. and then she's friends with quite a lot of the town, and has established favor exchanges with them (mostly consisting of "anita my purrloin has a cold" or "anita i have a cold") so she was able to lean on quite a few other people to help look after these twins she'd... acquired... when she was busy with work. although they would have probably also come in to the pokemon center with her sometimes!

aaaaaand that's pretty much the whole character brief i think! there are other more minor things but i don't want this to be a mile long, lol, and most of it is "idk maybe" stuff. if you read this the whole way uhhh. thanks! i hope you enjoyed. like i said i had a lot of thoughts about her lmao.

[white-boy-bracket]

  "So, where were you, exactly?" 

  Xigbar had been wondering when the question would pop up. After all, you can't just disappear on your boss for like a week without said boss asking where the hell you were. 

  "Gettin' ogled, mostly." He grinned at Showie. "Got sucked back into the last tournament I was in. 'Fuckable Old Man Battle'."

  "Fucka-?" Showie snorted and let out a small giggle. "You're kidding." 

  "What? I'm hot." Xigbar poked her side with his elbow. "You and I both know it, Doll." 

  She looked Xigbar over, as if considering him. “Eh.”

  Xigbar gasped in mock offense, clasping his hand over where his heart should've been (if he had one). 

  "I'm hurt."

  "Uh huh."

  "Wounded."

  "Sure."

  "Destroyed, Showie." 

  “Yeah, I bet you were, seeing as you got sent home early,” her tone was playful.

  "Low blow!" He snickered. "It's not my fault that showrunner wanted to keep their version of Team Lit going. Without the election fraud, I would've won that one. It's all the Narrator's fault. Dude was too annoying."

  Showie took in a sharp breath, a ghost pepper hot wing halfway to her mouth, “The- I’m sorry, Team Lit? Who’s in Team Lit?” Her eyes flicked between Xigbar and the little orange dot that was Firestar down below in the arena.

  "Mostly people with connections to your Team Lit. Artemis's Butler, Alastor, a giant rat… Oh, and also now Dipper's uncle. I know the kid isn't in Team Lit, but y'know." The part about Ford came out a bit bitter. He was still salty about Ford being let into Team Lit after losing on a completely different side of the bracket. Xigbar can write.

  “A giant rat?” Showie looked thoughtful, and she nibbled the wing she was holding, “Did he have a scar?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Probably Ripred, then… Did you say Alastor? Isn’t he still with Prosperity?”

  "Evidently not. White-blue fox, right? Thing was hanging out in the common area every time I went out there." Xigbar shrugged. "No idea if it's still there, though. Should be, if the whole team is going to the finals. But considering who they're up against, I don't see them winning."

  “What happens if they lose? Over there?”

  "They don't die, if that's what you're askin'. Y' just get sent home with a gift basket. This was my first time losing, though." He grinned smugly. "I'm the reigning champ."

  Showie looked at his sideways, “Champ of fraud, maybe. Um, but I don't want to risk Alastor being sent back Downstairs or to Redding.” She looked down at the match going on under their feet, seemingly pleased with how it was going. “Would you consider going back to retrieve him? He’s supposed to… I mean, he came with Prosperity, he needs to be here to compete.”

  "I gotta go back soon anyway. After the finals, I gotta defend my title." He shrugged. "Might as well grab 'im if I'm already there." 

  She seemed pleased with that answer. After a moment of silence, she said, “Out of curiosity, what team were you on?”

  "Oh, you're gonna love this. Team They Said Please (and Xigbar)." He said the word 'Parentheses' out loud, doing little dramatic jazz hand finger wigglies.

  “Ha!” She laughed, “I’ll ignore the continued blatant name theft in favor of focusing on the fact that that name refers to the loser team that needs dragged through each round by their hair.”

  “Excuse me?”

  She giggled.

  "That's just cruel, Showie," he huffed. But from the grin on his face, it was pretty obvious he wasn't being serious. "I think when you were trying to kill me hurt less." 

  She smiled, looking down on the match below, “I love it when the matches aren’t close at all. Look at them go!” She laughed, pointing to the short guy and the purple one (but not the purple one, he already got out). They were neck and neck with crowd of about 30 people each, while the Pee Pee Party (they were calling themselves “Team Litvrage”- peepee party was almost less embarrassing) only had one or two people each. They appeared to be having a conversation.

  "You know that one kid. The uh- the blond one? He joined up with them one night; started calling the group 'pee pee party'. Guess they were all going to the woods to piss or something, I dunno. The fire pole was covered in some kinda blood gunk. Honestly, I'm half convinced the kid got into my swamp sauce." He paused for a second. Then, not looking at Showie, speaking as nonchalantly as if he was talking about the weather, he said, "Pretty sure they know I killed that one guy. None of 'em have said anything yet, though."

  “That- Luke?”

  A pause.

  “...Swamp sauce?”

 Xigbar opted to answer the second question.

  "Hard to explain. It's a drink I make- Everyone but me hates it, but it'll fuck you up in two sips. Works like a charm."

  “I bet I could handle it,” She said, apparently allowing him to brush Luke’s corpse under the proverbial rug.

  “As if. Not just anyone can handle it." He grinned at her. "But if you wanna try… I'm not gonna stop you." 

  “I’m built different,” She smiled, taking a sip of her frappe, “Next round, perhaps?”

  "Alright, I'll bring it. Don't say I didn't warn you." He paused for a second. "'Next round', huh? Can't get enough of my ✨️sparkling✨️ personality?"

  “How did you say those out loud? Nevermind,” She nibbled on a wing, looking down, “I’m surprised Percy is ahead of Magnus… I like Percy better. But not as much as Firestar.”

  “Why Firestar?”

  “Have you seen him? Little green eyes? He’s even orange. And besides, the audience throws a fit about him every round. He’s my favorite of those three by principal. Percy, Magnus, and him, I mean.”

  A moment of silence passed. Xigbar stared at the snowglobe- the narrator kitty was pawing at the glass, sadly and pathetically, looking longingly at Stanley. 

  “What’d he do to you? Like I know why I hate him, but what’s your damage? I mean. His damage. I mean. What’d he do?” He asked, feeling his amulet heat up, and then return to normal temperature. 

  She was silent for a while, staring at the ghostly pale spots on her hand where she’d wiped away the make-up. 

  “Um… well, he… are you aware of the game he’s from?”

 “Game? The hell do you mean?"

  “The Stanley Parable,” she said, “He… he created Stanley, and, he- he.” Her lips pressed together in a thin line. It didn’t look like she was going to say anymore. He was honestly surprised she’d said as much as she had. 

  “So this is about Stanley?” Just Stanley? That it? (he knew that was not it, but he was seeing if she’d admit.)

  “He…” she paused, and then hesitantly looked up, directly into Xigbar’s eye, “Xigbar, can I… trust you?”

  Just then, the Narrator began to scream.

  Showie jumped about a foot, letting out a little shriek. They both looked at the arena-

  “Where did they go?!” Showie jumped to her feet, running over to the glass. “Team Leverage, where?”

  “I have a hunch,” He reached over and pulled her hood up over her face, then offered her a hand, “There's a reason I wanted to fuck with them a little bit." 

  She took his hand (hers was cold and hard), and he teleported the two of them away.

this is a chapter of keep your friends close :))))) written by me and @fuckable-old-man-battle

LORE IMPORTANT ROUND

[dcbicki]

holding my breath for you (crowd my grave)

A Rick/Harley fix-it fic • Chapter 1/?

To say he’s surprised to see Harley Quinn standing in the doorway of his shabby, middle-of-nowhere motel, in shredded jean shorts and heart-rimmed sunglasses, would be a serious fucking understatement. And it’s not because it’s one o’clock in the morning and the sun went down hours ago.

“How the hell did you find me?”

She shrugs, picking at a long thread on her jacket, “I know people.”

Rating: T/M • Characters: Harley Quinn, Rick Flag, and mentions of others • Read on AO3 or below the cut

“I think I just walked in on someone screwin’ a goat.”

To say he’s surprised to see Harley Quinn standing in the doorway of his shabby, middle-of-nowhere motel, in shredded jean shorts and heart-rimmed sunglasses, would be a serious fucking understatement. And it’s definitely not because it’s one o’clock in the goddamn morning and the sun went down hours ago.

“How the hell did you find me?”

The blonde shrugs, picking at a long thread on her jacket. “I know people.”

“Better people than mine, apparently,” Rick rasps, and he runs a hand through damp hair. Thankfully he’d managed to trade in the towel for sweatpants before she’d started pounding on the door. “So much for flying under Waller’s radar.”

“Nah, you’re good,” Harley says, and the sunglasses slide down the bridge of her nose when she dips her head to shoot him a devilish look, single brow raising, “I promise she don’t know I’m here.” Suddenly there’s a hand in his face and she’s wiggling her right pinkie finger as if that'll prove anything.

She taps one foot against the carpeted floor then, toe of her boot crossing the threshold, and Rick has decided she reminds him of a vampire; one covered in sparkles and tattoos with a pink, fluffy duffle-bag dangling from her fingertips, but a bloodsucker all the same. “Ya gonna invite a girl in or what?”

“You plan on telling me what you’re doin’ here first?” he asks, but then he’s moving out of the way so she can duck under his arm and enter. Harley breezes past him, tossing her bag somewhere across the room, and she plops herself down into the old, worn leather seat by the television. There’s some Spanish soap opera playing to itself on the screen.

“Mi casa es su casa… and all that.” Flag grumbles, pulling the door to a close behind her—but not before shooting a quick look out over her shoulder towards the parking lot. He locks it, then turns and presses his back up against it, hands on his hips.

“You can stop looking so constipated, Flag, I told ‘ya. I’m off the grid myself these days.” She taps the side of her neck twice. “The old dragon lady ain’t coming for either of us.”

“Right.” A nod, then, “Dubois told me about that.” The deal. The squad forcing Waller to meet them halfway and offer freedom in exchange for silence.

(He hadn’t exactly been shocked to find out Dubois was still in possession of the drive. It was a smart move; not the best one, or the right one, and it was a far cry from the one Rick had fucking died trying to pull, but not everybody lived by a code of honor. He couldn’t blame the rest of the team for following suit.)

“Milton knew?! He knew where you were this whole time and didn’t tell me? That mother fucka!” She grits her teeth, nails strumming atop the television cabinet.

(He doesn’t ask about Milton. It’d probably be a long, convoluted story and he’s not exactly in the mood for one of Harley Quinn and her gift of gab. Not that he has much of a choice right now...)

“Now you wanna tell me what you’re doin’ here?”

Ignoring him, Harley takes in her surroundings, chewed-end of her plastic sunglasses between her teeth as she eyes the dingy room. It’s cramped for sure, dull magnolia paint is chipping off the walls, and there’s a queen-sized bed with crumpled up grey sheets and three flat pillows, a sign of recent use. Odd number, Harley notes. Would four kill them?

The little washroom is beside the dresser, and there’s a towel hanging from the bathroom doorknob, wet footprints still clear on the tiled floor. It’s only then that she looks up and realizes he’s shirtless. Oh.

“This place got food? I could so do with a burrito right about now.”

(A place this rundown probably doesn’t even have a cleaning crew, much less any other kind of service. Although, there was half a pack of mints beside the sink when Rick first rented the room so does that count?)

(He’s not ashamed to say he finished them off.)

“I got whiskey and half an eggroll, that do ‘ya?” Rick quips, and there’s a smirk starting on his lips.

He’s still waiting for an explanation as to why the hell she’s here, how the hell she’s here, and what the fuck she thinks she’s doing by checking up on him in the first place. He’s supposed to be laying low—supposed to be dead—and she’s supposed to be free. Or at least as free as someone like her can get, which probably isn’t very free at all.

But there’s something off about her whole demeanor, something decidedly un-Harley, and the man can’t help but feel like he’s just waiting for something. Whether it’s one of Waller’s goons bursting through the door, or Harley herself finishing the job or, hell, Harley breaking down (and God, he hopes it’s not that), he’s not sure. He’s not great with emotions. And she’s without a doubt the most expressive person he’s ever had the (dis)pleasure of knowing.

“Hi, Harley. You know, I’m doing pretty good after havin’ my heart practically ripped apart by a fuckin’ toilet seat. How ‘bout you?” She lowers her voice as if to match the bass in his own and goddamnit he finds it charming.

(He doesn’t have the heart to correct her.)

“You know, a little heads-up that you weren’t DOA might’ve been nice, Colonel.”

“Wasn’t exactly high on my priority list,” he informs her, voice dipping as he nods, slow. “Staying alive kinda won that round. You know, ‘cause of the shit jammed in my chest.”

“They said it came out the other side, ‘ya know. My guys. Wanted to see for myself.” She stands up then and walks to him until she’s about four inches away from his face, taking in the long gash above when his heart lies. “I’m thinkin’ they lied though because that don’t look too deep to me.”

“Yep. Not much to see.” He shrugs, heavy as though there’s weight on his shoulders, casting a glance down at his chest when she raises a hand. She doesn’t touch him; just lets her fingers dance in the air above the skin. “Sorry to disappoint, Doc.”

The scar runs right down the middle of his chest. From left collarbone to navel; a rushed surgery in a (probably, totally) sketchy makeshift hospital. It’s not a good look. But she’s seen worse. “It’s healin’ just fine. I’m getting plenty of fluids and I’m takin’ my meds. Think you can be on your way now you’ve done your check-up.”

“I thought you died.”

“False alarm.”

“You died,” Harley repeats, and there’s an edge to her voice Rick doesn’t recognize. She moves from one foot onto the other, swaying back and forth on her heels, eyes unmoving from off of his chest. “And I didn’t even get a goodbye out of it.”

“Was I…” he pauses, considers the look on her face for a moment. “Apologies.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“The fuck you want me to do? Go back in time and tell him to wait so you can make it about you first?”

“Just think it’s kinda rude for one of my friends to go off and die and leave me alone like that.”

“Tad dramatic, don’t you think?” Rick asks before remembering who he’s dealing with. Harley Quinn is theatrical and melodramatic and showy. Of course, she’d turn this into a whole fucking thing. “You’re a grown ass woman with a criminal record and probably a couple dozen bounties on your head, I think you can handle getting on a plane without a handler.”

She stops swaying. But the look on her face is ice cold and calculating and if he didn’t know her any better, he might be slightly terrified. So this is the infamous killer queen, huh? She wouldn’t hurt him. Maybe once upon a time, a few years back, but not now. Not after… “You’re supposed to be the leader.”

“You had Dubois.”

“But not you. And I know Milton’s a fine leader an’ all, but he’s not exactly a great conversationalist. Or much of a hugger.”

“I ain’t either.”

“But you humour me. ‘Ya put the effort in, Flag.” The blonde pokes his chest, manicured and pale fingernail against his sternum, skin hot to the touch. “And no one else is gonna do that for me, so yeah, I’m kinda mad that you went and got your heart broken into little tiny pieces and didn’t think to let me know you weren’t buried under a fuckload of concrete. Not very friendly of you.”

“And since when are we friends?”

There’s a silence then, and now he’s reconsidering not showing any signs of fear. He’s in no position to fight her. Harley is… Well, one kick and it’d be lights out for Flag.

(Since Waller forced her to take swimming lessons with a mean, ‘It’s a basic life skill, Ms. Quinn. No one else is going to have your back out there'  and he made sure he was her assigned instructor. Even brought her a cute two-tone bathing suit that wasn’t Belle Reve-approved and all. Since everyone in Gotham decided they wanted Harley Quinn six feet under and he let her crash on his couch that one time—those three times—and he made her bacon and eggs in the morning. And he didn’t even get mad when she got ketchup all over his carpet. Since she got drunk that second time and kissed him out of loneliness and he never held it against her.)

“Whatever,” she backs away from him with a huff, but her eyes are still dark; a sure sign that she’s not happy. “I’m starving.”

“There’s a place around the corner.”

“Aces,” she grins, then picks up a discarded shirt from the foot of the bed and tosses it to him.

    There’s no mention of her getting her own room. It goes unspoken: she’ll be staying here with him.

“Not sayin’ this is better than sex, but it’s definitely better than a lot of the sex I’ve had lately.”

“Good for you,” Rick retorts, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He glances around the restaurant. There’s only one other patron in there aside from them, and the chef is off somewhere in the back. He glances down at his watch, then fists the napkin in his other hand.

“Am I keeping you up?” Harley jests, curling her legs up beneath her on the stool. It squeaks under her weight, one of the metal legs unevenly balanced on the patterned tiles. “Got plans I’m disruptin’?” She clicks her tongue, a devilish grin in full swing.

“Nope. Just rest ‘n recuperation, right, Doc? That your diagnosis?”

“Prognosis,” she corrects him, then drops the rest of her tinfoil-wrapped burrito onto the little round table, a thin layer of grime coating the surface. “And yes,” Harley says with a light nod,  putting on her best matter-of-factly voice. She feigns pushing glasses up her nose, head tipping back to look down at him for a change. He’s leaning against the table with his forearms crossed, tanned skin pressing against the greasy tabletop as his sharp chin rests on a curved wrist. “Sleep and that bottle of bourbon my little eye spied hiding under ‘ya bed will do the trick just fine, Colonel,” she says cheerily.

He nods, only half-listening. “Can’t wait.”

“You could smile every once in a while, ‘ya know. I came all the way to Ti-fuckin’-juana to make sure you weren’t rotting away and letting yourself go in some ol’ shitshack. Would a little appreciation for the thought go amiss?”

“I didn’t ask you to,” the man tells her, leaning back in his chair. He clasps both hands in his lap. “Matter of fact, I’m still wondering why you did. What’s the deal, you get bored running from the feds for a change? Didn’t think you tired so easily.”

“What if I just missed you, huh? ‘Ya consider that possibility, soldier?” She pushes her hands out, her chair scraping back against the floor again. Harley picks up the rest of her food, casting him a dark look. “You’re no fun.”

“Never have been, Harley, that shouldn’t be news.” He follows after her, rushing to keep the door from swinging back in his face when she exits the restaurant in what he can only assume is anger. Or maybe she’s just messing with him; truthfully, it’s hard to tell sometimes. “You’re not exactly a ray of sunshine yourself, you know.”

“I am a delight,” she says, whipping around to face him, palm flat against her chest. The many rings on her fingers tap against her necklaces, and she stares up at him with furrowed brows. “Everybody loves me.”

“Pretty sure that’s not true, either.”

“OK, well not everybody hates me, how’s about that?” The scowl on her face turns into a smile then, teeth-baring and wicked. Her eyes are blown wide like saucers, and the crimson lipstick on her mouth suddenly becomes the only thing Rick can focus on that isn’t… Doesn’t...  Deranged, he thinks.

Harley Quinn is an absolute basket case and he must be out of his fucking mind for finding her so damn… what? Fascinating? It’s as close as he can get to thinking of a word to describe her that isn’t derogatory. She’s a character and a half, a whole clown car full of crazy jam-packed into one tatted and made-up doll of a woman, but God help him if he doesn’t kind of want to--

“That’s more like it.” She’s probably hard to love, but she’s not easy to hate.

Rick smiles back, finally, then reaches out a hand—tentatively. She’s still her and he’s never a hundred percent certain she won’t slit his throat with a Hello Kitty keyring or something—and wiggles long fingers. “Wanna get drunk and watch god awful late-night television?” He leans down; not too close, not close enough for her to grab, and adds, “Friend?”

Whatever that thing was he’d been waiting for, that unidentifiable something he’d felt looming over them since she showed up in his doorway an hour ago, looking somehow both tired and elated, finally revealed itself; in the form of tears in Harley’s eyes and a shaky hand accepting his.

She nodded and excitedly said ‘yes!’ and then he realized all she’d been after was a friend; the comfort of knowing that there was someone in the world who wasn’t out to get her, who had nothing to gain by being good to her.

And she’d almost lost that. Lost him.

(So when she hogs two of the three pillows on his bed and helps herself to one of his shirts—his favorite, actually. An old wife-beater with torn sleeves and a faded wildcat on the front—Rick doesn’t say a thing. Just lets her curl up in a ball beside him, red tips brushing against his bare shoulder, and rest.)

[enigmaticgale]

houshin engi 100 questions

ariana linked me this and as we all i know i physically cannot shut up about this series ever, so here we go

endgame spoilers below!! if anyone actually cares, lol

1. What is your name? inigo montoya. you kill my father. prepare to die. NO i’m yarrow but i can’t imagine anyone who reads this won’t already know that

2. When did you get into Houshin Engi? january 2012! so.... much later than everyone else i’ve met who’s already into it. i’m babby 3. Did you read it in Weekly Jump magazine? Or the tankoubons? Or both? i read the snoopycool scanlations on mangapark dot com. that probably wasn’t the original website but fuck if i can remember what it was 4. Do you own all 23 volumes? yeah, four times over lol. 5. Do you own Houshin Taizen? hell yeah 6. Do you have the special Houshin Taizen that came with Akamaru Jump? i hate that i know this is a thing now because i won’t rest until i add it to my collection  7.Do you want a Houshin Taizen 2 to come out? yeah put birthdays in it this time fujiryu you hack 8. Did you watch the anime? i’ve seen it twice but only remember one watch lol. i’ve seen the sub and i’ve probably watched the first two episodes 5 times in the dub trying to watch the whole series through. no dice. oh this is about the old anime. i’m only part of the way through the new one because my adhd kicks my ass daily

9. Did you tape record it? man when were these questions written lol. i don’t even know how old i was when the anime aired in the states. did it even air in the states 10. Give your honest opinion on the last episode. hey studio deen? what the fuck? the fuck was that? you bastards? 11. Do you own mp3s of the opening and ending songs? sure do!

12. Do you buy the soundtrack albums? i got both. and then the 2 character song cds. and then 3 of 4 drama cds 13. If you answered ‘yes’ to #12, what is your favourIte track? MAN that’s tough?? probably... chi-kou-go-itsu because when taikoubou is like “IKITERU” in the chorus i’m like. god it won’t let me upload an image here this website is BROKEN. i’m that one gif of that black woman crying and nodding and then she wipes away her tear

14. What Houshin Engi merchandise do you own? what don’t i own. i need to update that album actually 15. Have you ever bought any of the Senkaiden games? yeah i got both.  16. If you answered ‘yes’ to #15, which ones have you bought? i’ve considered buying a wonderswan so i can play them because god knows where the rom i found is but i can’t read jp for shit 18. Could you name all the characters in Houshin Engi? not off the top of my head in a list but if you showed me a picture there’s a 98% chance i’d be able to tell you who they are 19. Favourite male character(s)? youzen and taikoubou... my first fave was roushi. i also like fugen and shinkouhyou and kouyuuken “who’s kouyuuken” haha. he’s the longhaired shisei. yes yes, my tastes

20. Favourite female character(s)? yuukyou is my DORTOR, i love ryuuktisu and kibi too! also seiba.  21. Which is your favourite Taikoubou outfit? i don’t really have a preference! though if you made me pick it would probably be his first one. baby outfit

22. Your opinion on Youzen’s outfit during the fight against Jyoka? i’m emo over him wearing his daddy’s paopei but that’s more of necessity than of sentimentality huh 23. Your opinion on Fugen’s shoulder-revealing shirt? how does it stay ON!!!! 24. Have you ever imitated Dakki’s speech pattern? i’m a guy 25. If you could transform like Youzen, who would you turn into and what would you do? GOD DJESUS.... i’d make myself a foot taller. and also have blue hair. and cure my damn dysphoria . please i want this transformation ability so bad lol

26. Which act/chapter is your favourite? i love the whole manga but the sennin war arc gunches me the hardest 27. Which anime episode is your favourite? bold of you to assume that i remember enough about the anime to differentiate what happened in which episode 28. Which volume cover is your favourite? that’s hard!!!! ummm...... volume one. i like taikoubou 29. Which title — be it volume title, chapter title, or episode title — is your favourite? bold of you to assume i remember episode or volume titles. as for chapter title... there are a lot of great ones but one that always stood out to me is “Chuuoh, Son of Heaven”. idk why. i just like that aesthetic i guess. son of heaven

OH i also really like 141 and 142 which are “ A Blinding Light, A Deafening Silence, And Then...” “An Eternal Happiness” ^___T sennin war arc 30. Have you ever cried while reading Houshin Engi? bunchuu’s death gets me every time though my definition of “cry” is probably a bit. loose. my very first reread though, i had to get up from my computer and stop reading because i physically couldn’t see. musta been a day 31. Do you still buy the calendars? STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MERCH I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE NOW I’LL HAVE TO BUY IT  32. If you answered ‘yes’ to #31, do you keep the old ones up? FUCKA YOU. yeah i’d display them somehow 33. What is your favourite quote, and who said it? “I learned the greatest courage is telling people my weakness. So I don't want to run anymore: not from you, not from myself!” by youzen. i also really like the line youzen has in the tournament arc where he says there’s no way he can lose because he has the powers of everyone he’s met but the quote i actually listed is more Feelsy 34. Do you have a favourite romantic pairing? hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa youbou. 35. Say anything you want about that favourite pairing? bold of you to expect coherency from me 36. Why are you into that pairing? nnMMBBmbmbbbb god i’m. gay. the tl;dr is i relate a lot to youzen and i love taikoubou a lot so it’s like self insert without the self insert lol. i’m really laying myself bare here in full sincerity 37. Have you thought of a perfect song for that pairing? What song, and by whom? yeah i gotta.... whole gotdamn playlist. please listen to it 38. Which houshined character do you want resurrected? here’s my postgame fic where everyone gets resurrected eventually. yes even all the rando youkai  39. Which character made you think “I’m glad s/he wasn’t houshined!”? probably..... youzen? or nataku. anyone who has a brush with death and then Wasn’t. 40. Which of the Konron 12 would you like to be scouted by? gyokutei!!!!!! 41. What are your reasons? *points at him* dad 42. Suupuushan, Kokutenko, Kokukirin. Who would you want to ride? kokutenko!!!! luv cat

43. Do you have any friends who like Houshin Engi? yeah!!! and i only had to bully a few of them into reading it. shocker 44. Who’s your favourite Jyuttenkun? kinkou seiba!!!  45. Did you like “Ennui Academy”? i want fujiryu to give me a full length ennui academy manga. this is only half a joke 46. What’s your favourite non-romantic pairing? BBBbbbb hmmm. i love yuukyou and her two dads and i also love youzen and gyokutei.... i’m suckerpunched by found family daily 47. Which do you like better; the Dakki Sisters or the Beautiful Sisters (Venus and Co.)? the dakki sisters  48. Do you want Roushi’s suit? depends on what i have to do to get it lol. but yeah i’m all about that lazy life 49. Name one paopei you want. i’m going to say all of them on account of being greedy and also bad at making decisions

50. What would you use it for? oh fuck. can’t make me go into work if i’m wrapped in rikukonhan’s void, right 51. Who is the strongest character, in your opinion? fukki if he’s got backup, jyoka if not 52. What is your reason? *points to the final volume* Observe 53. Which character makes you go, “I’ll never forgive him/her!!”? outenkun. basard 54. What colour do you like on Taikoubou’s hair? brown!!! my fave eye colour on him is green!! that wasn’t part of the question but i think that’s the cutest and best colour combo!!!!!! you can’t change my mind!!!!

i think fukki has black hair and blue/grey eyes. 55. Name a master-disciple combo you like. again, youzen and gyokutei suckerpunch me 58. Which is your favourite splash page? probably the very first one in chapter 1 cause i get all nostalgia over it. weh 59. Taikoubou + Outenkun = Fukki. Did you easily accept this fact? i wish i could tell you anything that i thought when i first read the manga but all my impressions are lost to time. i wish other people would remember that outenkun is a key part of the fukki equation and stop just treating him as taikoubou in a funny outfit lol. they’re different people, even if they’re similar....  60. Did the entrance of Fukki affect your opinion on Houshin Engi? again, i wish i could tell you, but 61. Do you think of Taikoubou, Fukki, and Outenkun as three separate people?

YES, AND YOU SHOULD TOO

62. Where on Taikoubou’s body do you think Outenkun’s paopei’s mark appeared? .....people talked about this? 63. Who would you want to be houshined by? dakki. if i have to die i want her to kill me, sexily. sorry for making you read those words 64. Who would do you want to houshin? outenkun but he’s off limits. ...i think anyone else i’d want to houshin already done and did it so 65. Which of Dakki’s many outfits is your favourite? bold of you to assume i keep track of them 66. Is Venus scary? no, she’s very cute!! shame on you!! 67. Which paopei made you go, “That’s terrible!!”? ay. uh. keiseigenjou is pretty spooky what with the “dakki uses this to mind control hundreds of thousands of people at once” 68. What is the colour of Chibi Youzen’s horns? dark dark brown imo 69. What cup size is Dakki? WHY AREY OU ASKING ME THIS-- oh it’s question 69. haha nice 70. Who’s your favourite Colourful Trio sennin? probably taiitsu! 71. Your opinion on the brand new sennin world? luv horai.... new home 72. What is Fukki’s hair colour in act 201? ....there was talk about this??  73. Ask yourself a question concerning Houshin Engi. can you ever stop fucking thinking about this manga 74. Your response to that question? no lol!!!!!  75. In your opinion, is Nentou in love with his half sister? in a completely innocent and platonic way, you fucking freaks! 76. Did the Sennin World War leave a deep mark on your heart? FUCK YEAH IT HURTS 77. Do you own any Houshin Engi doujinshis? oh yeah we got soup 78. Kichiku, hentai, yaoi, shounen-ai, general. Which doujinshi genre do you have the most of? shounen ai probably. i am, gay 79. Do you make Houshin Engi doujins? i would if i could, probably 80. If you answered ‘yes’ to #79, do you make doujins about couples? i would if i could!!  81. If you answered ‘yes’ to #79, the amount of Houshin Engi doujinshi circles is decreasing, but do you intend to continue yours? man what audience was this intended for 82. Who’s the easiest character to draw? youzen because he’s all i ever draw 83. Who’s the hardest character to draw? anyone who isn’t youzen 84. Have you ever done Houshin Engi cosplay? i wanted to cosplay roushi in high school but predictably never went through with the idea

85. If you answered ‘yes’ to #84, who have you cosplayed? man a lot of these could really be combined into one question huh 86. Does your website mainly have Houshin Engi in it? yeah cause it’s all i ever fucking think about 87. Is there a Houshin Engi fan you can’t forgive? Who and why? :) 88. What is Hanyoutai Youzen’s colour scheme? wh.... white hair, gold eyes, ???? hell if i know. bold of you to assume fujiryu would ever give a character a consistent colour scheme 89. If Nataku were to give you a ride, where would you want to go? nataku take me to court so i can get my legal name changed. idk?!? does this mean like in the sennin world?? anywhere Scenic

90. Which of Choukei’s outfits is the best? i’m longhairluvr69 but i think he looks cuter in his later outfit.... maybe if he’d kept his long hair and put it up in a bun?

91. Say anything about the most memorable scene in Houshin Engi. bold of you to assume i have a working memory 92. What do you think of the ending to Houshin Engi? I’M SAD. it’s a very satisfying ending though. 93. Have you imagined what happens after the series’ end? i got six years worth of headcanons for it, coming soon to a theatre near you 94. If you answered ‘yes’ to #93, give more detail. NO I’M TIRED. just read my fic 

95. Have you read Parallel World Houshin Engi? what, Another Story? yeah i’ve read it. 96. Do you own “Dramatic Irony”? yeah! milk junkie sure was a story, wasn’t it. 97. The series has ended, but is your love for the series still going strong? i will be on my deathbed still talking about this manga 98. Do you really think Fukki has nothing left to do in the end? well, he’s finished everything he Needs to do, but there’s a whole wide world left for him to explore!  99. Say anything you want about Fujiryuu. fujiryu i AM coming to japan and we WILL duel in an arby’s parking lot at 3am. there will only be one survivor

full seriousness i am alive and happy today because of fujiryu so if i ever do meet him irl i’d probably just start crying lol. 100. Any last words? read houshin engi!!!!

[purpletuesday]

August 2nd 2020

Thank you so much, I’m just so emotional these past few days and all I want is to be left alone. I’m not allowed to be difficult or moody and that’s all I feel rn. I just got confronted again this morning....like fuck. Outta no wear...for being not happy? Not great full enough...?

I’m trying to not be a bitch and it’s like everything’s fucking personal. My mom starts off with...maybe you should just move back to California and not be around us anymore cuz it just seems like your so unhappy your here and that’s just probably what you want. Like damn bitch, COME FOR ME HARDERRRR

can’t a hoe just have a hardtime in peace? LIKE FUCKA ME. I wanna figure my own shit out and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fuckin said thatttt. They want me to talk to them so badly and I don’t want too. SO SHES LIKE THERAPY? And I was like yeah sure, I don’t think online therapy will be the best but it’s on my list of todo’s

IVE ONLY BEEN HERE 2 WEEKS....like fuck give me more space. Her: We can see your not happy so how do we make you happy? Fuck, idk like leave me alone maybe? Why do I have to be a fucking ray all the time? Of course I’m not happy, I’m not settled here yet...then she goes: don’t worry so much, just stop. MMMMM REVOLUTIONARY, NEVER CONSIDERED THAT ONE 🙌👏👏👏🙌 then thEN THENNN: do you feel better now? That you have a plan? Bitch.....really? You mean I feel better for calling you out and making you feel bad. Cuz....your different...you were never like this when you were younger....IS THIS STILL ABOUT EMILYYYYYY? I couldn’t breathe. REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Rrrrrreallly reallyyyyyyy?

Goodmorning, I love and miss you. Here are my emotions and this coolade boy who embodies the joke that is my life 👉👌😂😂✨

Ooohhh you wanna know what’s provoked thissss? I SAID I DIDNT WANNA SHOWER TODAY AND THAT ID SHOWER TOMORROW WHEN WE GOT HOME. AND SHE WENT OOOOOOOOOH OKKKKKKK WELL LETS JUSY PACK UP ANF GOOOO HOMEEEEE THENNNN. And I was like: um we’ll be home tomorrow....so like I’ve only not washed my hair in 2 days. I wanna use my hair care products. I didn’t bring them cuz it woulda been too much stuff....then rolled into how I’m so unhappy to be here. Mmmm cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool

Cue the fighting back of tears and the mental version of myself holding me going: ur big n strong, don’t cry. Ur a big bad bitch who’s ok. Ur ok, pick a name any name. Repeat it in ur head till u feel like ur not just gonna cry profusely. *pats back in brain* ur just a big ol sad bitch who wants to get high and dance and stretch aloneeee.

[stindleswords-blog]

Ep 1

“Um, hello.” The mic began ringing through the room as he adjusted it. “My name is—”

“No names!” the host yelled from the bar.

“What?”

“Do you not understand the concept of a blind reading?”

“Oh, I thought it meant you just had do the reading blind! … Cause the lights are so bright. Haha.” No one else laughed. “They’re so bright and in your eyes, you can’t even… you might as well be blind, right? Ha... ha…”

He started wishing he was blind, that way he wouldn’t have had to look down at all the unamused scowls staring up at him. It was his fault really. He should have recognized this stage was a death trap from the moment he entered the building. As sweat began trickling down his skull, his mind began retracing every nervous step he took to get here, and suddenly he began drowning in a flash flood of regret

As soon as he swung that vandalized door open his lungs became poisoned by the pollution of coffee and hookah in the air. The small café/bar hybrid was dimly lit to create an illusion of poetic ambiance, but this was just a mask to the truth. The choice of lighting was actually there to aid in cloaking the piercing judgement of the local consumers. They would sit there, shaded in the dark, drinking their Kombucha’s and taking petite bites out of their gluten free scones, as they shot penetrating stabs of disapproval with their culturally charged laser-beam eyes. Navigating his way to the stage of that café was like walking through a minefield. With every step he could feel his millennial authenticity leaking out of the bullet holes of his soul. Was the catchphrase on his shirt politically correct yet still ironic enough for their taste? Should he have ordered an espresso from the café bar instead of bringing a frap from Starbucks? And there was no way his piercing free face was earning him any street cred. Soon they would discover he was a fraud, and all his deepest fears would come to life.

“Um, I’m going to read for you today, my short story. It’s called The Light Under, uh.” He held his notebook up to his nose and tried squinting hoping his eye lids would block out the bright light beaming down on him. “Under Hilda’s Nose.”

“What?” someone in the audience asked.

“Rose. The Light under Hilda’s Rose!” He looked up, proud of his creative yet classy title and smiled into the abyss of the crowd.

“Are you going to read or what? Ole gap-toothed-ass motha fucka.”

“Oh.” His smile shrunk and he looked down as if he were trying to observe his own mouth. He shut his lips and even considered covering it with his hand while he read, but realized that would only make him look dumber. “Um. She, she was soft like Austin—ah! Soft like autumn. And I was the, the breeze of wient-winter. I spring to meet h—no, crap, I mean. In spring I met-bleh. Shit, lost my place. I’ll just start…”

“Oh my gosh, did he even rehearse before coming?” “What an amateur.”

“Found it!” He shouted after fumbling through the page with his finger. “There. Her rash hid the, uh… her rosh—ross—roseee, hid the-the light of my soiled pants. No. No. I meant, spoiled passion.”

“Ugh, stop trying to be so pretentious.” “Why is he even here?” “Do you even know what real art is?”

“I’m sorry, I can do this. Just give me a second.” He began scrolling through the lines on his notebook in a hurry.

“Boo!” “Go home.” “Boy, that gap spreading wider than Kim Kardashian’s thighs at the BET awards”

“Ok, well that’s just rude,” he spoke back up. Unfortunately, he had lost all control of the crowd.

“Get a real artist up there!” “You suck.” “Ole goofy-ass-looking motha fucka” “I’m vegan!”

“That’s not even relevant ma’am. Can I just finish my—” He looked over to see the manager waving him off the stage. “If you just let me finish, I swear I got it now.”

The manager was all out of patience, he looked over at a burly lumberjack of a man and signaled him over to the stage. The man had a thick dark beard with a luscious man bun to match, he had on a cotton flannel with nothing under it but his curling chest hair, and a pair of DIY Casey Neistat sunglasses. The buffed out trender barreled his way up to the stage.

“Jesus Christ, where did you find 21st century Paul Bunyan?” The bouncer remained unfazed by the joke and continued marching forward. “Www.lumberbros.com? Or do they have a page on twitter? Ok-ok! I’m leaving.”

The crowd snapped their fingers and starting cheering as the boy fled the stage and made his exit from the café. The manager rushed on stage to try to soothe the crowd.

“I think we’re going to cut the blind readings short today and skip right to meditative documentary hour. Tonight we have a student film called Society’s Shackle on the Areola of my Soul. Jeff, you got the projector?” 

-----------------------------------Scene 1 cuts-----------------------------------------------------

                                           Working Title

                                  Ep1: Let’s Just call it the pilot

“No Mom, it just didn’t go well. I wasn’t drunk this time Mom. I’ve never even heard of that drug Mom. Yeah, no, I’m still searching but you know how it is; companies are just really selective these days. Don’t worry I’m still sending out resumes. Ma, I gotta go now. Yeah I’ll keep you updated. Love you. Bye.”

He pulled into the parking spot and took the keys out of the ignition. He laid his head back on the seat and looked up into the reflection of his eyes in the mirror. There wasn’t much inspiration in the image, but inspiration wasn’t exactly something Aaron was glowing with these days. He mustered what motivation he could then grabbed his backpack and exited the car.

Outside, in the parking spot next to his, sat an old Buick blasting aggressively loud rock music. The blue time capsule of a car had rusted door handles and two of the windows were either made out of tape or cardboard, the other two were completely rolled down—or completely missing. The inside of the car was filled with clothes, blankets, trash, and bags of untouched hamburger buns. Nobody appeared to be inside though, but as Aaron began walking by, a naked banshee came shooting up from the backseat like a horrifying popup book.

“Ahhhhyiii!!!” The dreadlocked rock star screamed as he rocked out on his invisible guitar. Aaron almost shit his pants when the bum appeared out of nowhere. But the man paid no attention to Aaron, he was in the middle of an intense jam session and channeling the ghost of mosh-pit’s past. Nothing could break this rockbum out of his intense trance. For Aaron, it was just horrifying to see that much exposed skin making the much motion. The homeless guitarist kept jamming on, screaming and squirming like he was in the middle of an ACDC exorcism. Aaron made sure to triple lock his car as he continued along his way.

The shady nature of the parking lot only continued as he traveled further through it. He passed by two more cars that seemed to be doubling as homes for the residents. In one car, a man laid passed out on the steering wheel with about twelve different brands of empty beer cans on the dash. His tire still had a tire clamp on it that belonged to the city, and his front door had a bike lock on the handle. The other car had an entire bon fire burning inside it with about five other glaring homeless men huddled around it.

“What the hell… does this parking lot double as a trailer park?” he asked himself.

He felt calmer as he reached the safety of his destination. Nothing bad ever happens in the public library right?

“Sir, we’re going to need you to take the other entrance.” Immediately upon pushing through the glass doors, Aaron was met by a stubby police officer blocking the metal detectors that led into the thick of the library.

“What?” Aaron peaked around the officer to notice a section of the library blocked off by rolls of caution tape. Behind the tape were blood stains and broken needles with books and torn up papers scattered everywhere.

“We’re in the middle of an investigation here kid.”

“Jesus, did this happen last night?” he asked.

“No, of course not. This happened a week ago, can’t you smell the feces beginning to ferment?”

“Where is there feces?” Aaron’s curiosity was turning into concern.

“Just take in a whiff,” the officer began scooping the air under his nose with his hands, “C’mon kid, do it with me.”

“Can’t I just go around the tape, I really don’t want to have to walk to the back.”

“No kid! We can’t have no one messing up the crime scene, alright??”  

“But there’s a homeless guy taking a piss on the copier machine right now?”

The cop turned around and there it was, a hairy man covered in dirty sweaters and blankets whistling to the tune of Rihanna’s Bitch Better Have my Money, as he took a wiz on the copier machine placed in the corner of the crime scene.

“Oh shit,” the cop gasped and ran into the crime scene reaching for his weapon, “Jim! another one came back to life.”

“He wasn’t even breathing a couple of minutes ago!” Jim yelled in response.

“He’s got a weapon!” the chubby officer screamed.

Aaron stood there and watched for a moment. The weapon the officer was referring to was the homeless man’s exposed pecker just flopped out of his open fly. He thought about speaking up, but then the fermenting feces finally hit his nostrils, and was doing so with a flaming rage. So he decided the fresh air of the backway would be healthy for him. A flurry of gunshots and screams sounded off as he returned to the parking lot.

After trekking back through the deadlands of the parking lot, only having been offered drugs twice, he was finally in the library again, crime-scene free--or at least caution tape free. The surrounding settings were still just as grisly as before. All of the books looked like they were donated by pyromaniacs after losing their house to a mysteriously caused wildfire. Aaron took his finger and ran it down the lines of books, watching as ashes and debris scraped off of them. He tried picking up a few, mostly because he just wanted to know what section he was in. In one aisle he saw Fear in Loathing in Las Vegas, by Hunter S. Thompson, pressed against a 19th century edition of the Bible, authored by “Cheesus H. Chrisp.” The Bible was the one book still in decent condition so he decided to pick it up. A bag of weed fell out. When it hit the ground a crusty old hand reached out from under the shelf and pulled the bag of weed back with it. Perhaps exploring the bookshelves wasn’t the best idea.

“Excuse me, could you direct me to a section with open outlets?”

“Sir, you can’t come into the library to charge your phone.” He could have been charging his phone right on her desk, she wouldn’t have known. Her eyes didn’t even consider looking up at him, they remained planted on her cosmopolitan magazine as she took two seconds to scroll through all the pictures before flipping to the next page.

“Oh no, it’s just my laptop needs to be charging while I’m using it so…”

“We have computers in the children’s section.” Without shifting her gaze, she took her index finger and pointed behind him. In the children’s section were two raccoons chewing on stuffed animals and one bug eyed man sitting in the computer section, aggressively playing a game of whacking-the-mole-off in his pants.

“I think that guy’s masturbating?”

“If you have a complaint, put it in the complaint box.”

At first he assumed she was joking, but her unbreakable case of bitch-face told him otherwise. He decided writing a complaint was the right thing to do, thinking he should try to be a part of the solution and be a facilitator of justice, as many Yelp users might also describe themselves. But upon further observation he realized the complaint box didn’t exist anywhere close by, and though he was scared to probe onward, he kept on reaching his foot into the mouth of the dragon.

“Well… where’s the complaint box?”

“It was stolen like a month ago, someone thought it was the tip jar.”

“Right, of course. Well you’ve been a great help thank you.”

“The soup kitchen opens at 9 on Thursday’s sir.” She would remain lost in the wonders of her literature as Aaron walked away.

Somewhere in a flickering corner of the library, Aaron was able to find his beloved open outlet—the sweet nectar of any library setting. But he quickly became disappointed in himself for actually thinking that something would go right in this desolate junk yard posing as a library. The outlet was dangling about six inches out of the wall, wires exposed and ripped, with sparks shooting out every now and then to the cadence of the flickering lights. Sitting on the desk above, or more so laid out on the desk above, was an inebriated man planted face first into a book titled 7 Weeks to Safe Social Drinking (by Donna J. Cornett (and available for 1.99 at Barnes & Noble). Sprawled out along the desk next to him were about 6 half-empty beers pouring out down the edge of the desk and dripping onto the exposed wires of the outlet. An optimists might have looked at this scene and said “Looks, like we’re about 3 beers into a good time.” A pessimists would have said “Grab a fork and let’s play ‘Shank-the-Power-Outlet.” Aaron just wanted to get some work done, and was forced to make the best out of his situation.

It was hard to focus on the work in front of him. Perhaps it was his lack of motivation; or maybe it was the notion that nothing he wrote seemed to be as magnificent as it sounded in his head; it could have been due to his persistent hobby of shredding apart any and all ounces of self-confidence; or it could have just been his laptop repeatedly dying every time the power flickered off. After taking five minutes to get his laptop up and running again he would only be able to get in but just a few words before it died out—and that’s if he really focused. Maybe it was a sign, or a metaphor telling him that no matter how hard he tried, his dreams would always die out in the end. Or maybe he should have just let Geek Squad take his computer for a week to figure out the issue with the charger port.

But in all that dark hopeless struggle to get his life together, something peculiar happened, something that suddenly breathed life into the room.

It was a series of sounds that all came one after the other in a rapid furry. Just three quick claps of air. A drum solo of fumes. An orchestra of asscoustics. A pattering parade of poots. The not so silent, but deadly chemical warfare fired out of a machine gun of a sphincter. And there were no questions about where the rumpus originated from. At the very next table, across from Aaron, sat the only other (conscious) resident in this section of the library. Slowly, Aaron turned his head in disgust, almost in disbelief, at what he had just heard--and was now beginning to smell. When he had finished turning his head his eyes met with the petrified gaze of the assailant. This man appeared as if he knew nothing about the world other than fear, and with the two sets of eyes locked, the mortified gas leaker stoop up--

“And just walked away.”

“You’re joking…”

“I shit you not.”

“What lovely phrasing.”

“He let it out like a bomb and just got up, looked me in my eyes, and walked away. As if we had just made a silent oath to secrecy of the horrific event that had just taken place.”

“But like, why?” She laughed.

“I was too busy cherishing the remaining moments I had left with non-polluted air to get up and ask him.”

“Uhg!” She groaned in sarcasm.

“Sorry, I forgot you’re writing that novella on why people fart in public places.”

“How could you?”

“I’m sorry, I know I failed you.”

A sneaky smile slowly slurred onto their faces and neither of the two could continue their serious fronts. They backed down and returned to their laughter.

“I seriously can’t believe that happened” she added.

“Really? After telling you ALLL of that, the one thing you can’t believe is some dude farting like he had pop rocks stuck up his ass?”

“Well yeah,” she chuckled as she continued reading through her textbook. “I don’t know what you expected, that’s why you don’t go to public libraries in south city.”

“I just wanted somewhere quiet to write.”

“I don’t know why you’re so against this library all of a sudden. It’s like the second nicest library in the whole city. And its homeless person free,” she paused for a moment, “well… except for that Moroccan lady who comes in here with those five kids at midnight. I don’t know what her deal is. And why are the kids always different?”

“I’m just tired of this place. It’s been four months since I graduated, I’m tired of having to look at this school and fight some freshmen for a parking spot, just to come back and find my car window bashed in.”

“Actually the window bashing has died down since you graduated. Hmm, wonder if that’s a coincidence?”

“With the way my life’s going, window bashing would be a step up.”

“Maybe you just need to get out of your own head and stop whining like a little bitch all the time.”

“Maybe the problem is my most supportive friend calls me a whiney bitch all the time.”

“Not all the time, just on Monday’s, and Tuesdays after 1:30, and occasionally Thursday through Sunday… oh. And anytime you start whining like a little bitch.”

“Such a great support system…”

“Well if you don’t like it, why don’t you go make some other friends?”

“I think you’re supposed to make all your friends while you’re in college. I kind of missed that deadline.”

“Well I’m so sorry for your loss, but some of us still have time to try get the best out of our college experience. So I’m going to finish studying somewhere that I can actually focus, that way I can go to that Frat party tonight, ok?”

“Oh, like the Frat with all the guys in it?” She laughed at his response, but it felt more like she was laughing at him.

“You’re cute when you get jealous. But only Sometimes… I’ll talk to you later.” She scooted out of her seat and began to get up but not before Aaron puckered his lips and tried pressing them on her’s. Evie responded with the classic face of disgust fully equipped with a one-way ticket back to the Friend Zone. “Ew! What are you doing?”

“It’s just a kiss? We’ve done more than that?”

“Not in public. Ugh.”

“Sorry I just thought…”

“Come pick me up at like 2am ok? And bring a condom, I forgot to take the pill like all weekend.”

“Ok, yeah, sure.”

“And look,” suddenly her voice evolved into a rare tone of concern, “don’t be so down on yourself. You’re just in one of those identity slumps right now, but that’s all it is: a slump. Ok? You just need a hobby or something to do. You should go check that student bulletin board in the basement.”

“Student bulletin board?”

“Yeah, didn’t you go here for like four years? You should know about the bulletin board.”

“I never went in the basement, there was always too much studying going on to focus.”

“Well it’s just a place for students to place fliers for their clubs and other social events. And I really think you need some socializing.”

“I mean I guess we can talk about me like I’m some rescue dog with a shady past.” She giggled at him again.

“Don’t take things so personally, just go check it out. You never know what opportunity may present itself, right? I’ll text you. Byiiiiii.”

“Byiii” he mocked her squeaky voice. She threw her middle finger in the air as she walked away.

---------------------------------------Scene 2 cuts-------------------------------------------------

His migration down to the basement felt like the walk of shame. With every flight of stairs he descended upon he could hear Evelyn calling him a whining bitch, although there was a chance he was mistaking the voice for that of his 7th grade gym teacher—who also taught arts & crafts to the 1st graders. F***ing Ms. Heinbaugh. His mind continued playing tricks on him and preying on his doubts. He thought that actually going over to the bulletin board would be an admittance of defeat, like he was conceding to the fact that he needed to socialize more. It felt as if she was just going to be waiting there with a big sign that read: WHAT A LOSER. He wouldn’t put it past her.

“Socialize…” his thoughts began groaning, “I don’t need to socialize. Everyone else just needs to stop being so damn annoying. ... Dammit. I do sound like a whiny bitch.”

But at the end of the dimly lit hallway would be no humiliating ‘gotcha’ poster or moment of ridicule. At the very end of the hall, one light shined brighter than all the rest, and right beneath it, hung the infamous bulletin board. He walked up to it for further examination where he was instantly overwhelmed by a burst of colorful papers. It was like a fireworks show made from dead trees.

Each flier pertained to some kind of club that sounded just as colorful as the paper it was on.

GFSTAA: Gender Fluid Sex Toy Advocates of America—important, but not up Aaron’s alley. Vegan Baking Club—Aaron wasn’t aware they allowed torture tactics to be practiced on campus. Sonic the Hedgehog Fanfiction Book Club—not quite Aaron’s taste of literature. How to Draw Sonic the Hedgehog Fanfiction—not quite Aaron’s taste of hentai either.

But, buried beneath all the madness, was one flier barely reaching out beyond the layers of tabloids, like a hand reaching out from its grave. All he could see was the corner of a white paper with the image of a feathered pen on it. He plucked the paper from its flamboyant grave and began reading.

“Calling all creatives! Do you consider yourself a creative person? Do you feel like your vision and voice have more to offer the world? Then why not put your talents to use and come join a small startup digital media company that can help you fulfill your truest potential! We need people at every position, we need fellow filmmakers, editors, actors, crew members, and we’re always on the lookout for brilliant wordsmiths!”

The flier had images of camera lenses, quills, and stars sprinkled all over it. It was like Aaron was staring into the eye of an oracle. He had never considered himself a filmmaker, but he didn’t mind the sound of it. The meet date posted on the flier hadn’t passed yet either, so he still had time to get in on the action. Aaron had heard the call, and he was ready to answer.

“Yes!” he began to himself. “I’m ready to fulfill my truest po—” Someone came marching down the hall and Aaron went dead silent like a possum. The student walked straight up to the bulletin board so he tried playing it cool like he was still analyzing all the fliers. The student pulled out a flier of their own and aggressively stapled it to the board, and then they stomped away in frustration. The flier read:

“PETITION TO END ALL SPIDERMAN REBOOTS!”

Aaron signed his name under the first slot and walked away.

----------------------------------------------FIN--------------------------------------------------------

[ask-eris-morn]

The Matrix is about:

One of the many things the matrix is about

lit rev lol jk: This adds to many story archetypes, but for now I’ll start with this one. The story goes where the hero works so hard that they transcend the known boundries of human ability... right? Well, the matrix is about a world where your literal human physical capacity had nothing to do with your ability. Rahter, it was your will power that gave you power. The more will power, the more buddha af you can get with the new tech scene you get, the more power you get is related to will power. Also, this is totlaly Sword art online. I’m watching it rn, and realizing ye, not the whole second season is esspeeeeeciilay about that. And its interesting, I started to think about it in regards to the system of SAO. Gilard, gillian, i don’t remember but I know it started with a G. -- Gary! But ye, the system as Kirito has always said, is fair. Cruel but fair.  SEason two is about an unfair world. A false quest with no chance to win. A lie to occupy your time. (insert bread and circuses refference and then were all like, holly fukc thats deep.. yep)... with ulterior motives.  In the end, (i haven’t re watched it yet, I’m on the second to last episode but I remember, and I’l post about it after I watch it again, but the rules are cheated right, like in  agame console sort of way hwere they take away all your agency wthorugh the oncolse of just taking your shit. right, but here lets look at it. He turns up the gravity, the pain, all of it. and kirito is like fuck all this shit im muther fuckin kirito mutha fuckas, and then the other dude is like, but how even. high turnt it up all the way, how could anyones zen af (budhha super power shit be over 9---1 so much that he grew really fucking long ass goku hair - metaphorically) and mentally blocked out the signals from the gear helmet and the server and continued to send the kirito signals effectively overriding the games lock out because the signal from kiriot was literally stronger, as in connection speed. 

ye Im’ high 

But where is the signal coming from that interacts with this world... the signal is his brain. The technology interface is just transmiting that movement. The movement your character makes is transfering the desired mental movemnt you want to make wth your mental image of the 3d surroundings, so, its not vr right, so you actually feel the touch of stuff, you can -connect- with tthe world. But there, thats it exactly, the connection. The touch to the object and the signal sent back to the brain to decode the information from the program into an undertandable format.... see, the concepts that this boils down to is a battle of wills. The human computer, it can change. A regular computer would have a bit more difficulty rearranging their literal hardware. The human brain’s hardware can literally change. Thats where we have machines beat... for now. The point is, the world’s influence on your character is a signal in response to your signal, your body affects your perception of what you believe you can do based on the conclusion you came to about the stimulus from your perception on reality.  Basically, will power in this context is trying to overpower the machiens return signal. Its basically jesus shit hacking “reality”. But here that gets deeper, because the later matrix movies addersssed that, albeit, it was not popular, and I didn’t really like it either. Buuut. the point is here now, wtf is reality. Is reality what we can see, touch, taste and feel... no.  Those are chemical reactions in the brain synthesizing this sensory input and then decoding these messages into some form of conclusionary understanding.  thats literally reality. This can be compared to so many things with different nuances and parralles.  but the mother fuckin matrix.  Neo does the ihack The Matrix (tm I don’t know how to do that), in “the real world” in the movie the matrix, nd its still actually in the matrix. thats when they realize they are still in the matrix, even when they previously thought they were out of the matrix... blah blah dream within a dream, blah blah connection connection trope trope archetype archetype new camera angles edgy 9-’s and societies new facination into gay culture and then boom ahead sisters wakoski’s we see that very much fits. This is some deep shit. And Now I know why when we went over this film speciically in my cerebral science fiction class, that expalins why the professor was getting high af.... Cause thats what I’m doing now and I’m hella analyzing it. but, I mean, I do that anyway. But ye, weed is dope Guardians, I highly suggest you get into this if its legal where you live, and if not push legislature to make it legal and then smoke a shit ton cause its great.  from a game logic standpoint it would seem that first and foremost before any locking codes, at the core level, the avatar in world would be able to do anything.  The constraining game code is designed to trick the mind into thinking it has these limitations. But kirito reveals this (I haven’t actually seen the episode again, I’m just recognizing where it looks like its gonna go, and that I think I vagually remember thats what it might touch on, or that the previous reason was the one, or both. idfk fuck it But ye, heavy on the mind over matter.  at the end of it. the message is that the digital world does not have the limitations that our perceived physical or material world holds. And that even putting constraints on these people, there will always be a human spirit strong enough to break free and create a revolution.  Because thats what its about. Its a story about revolution.  About freeing your mind. Its the myth, and reason. Myth and Reason, as archetypes. Myth being something that is our understanding of the universe, scary, witches, shamans, medicine people, but then “reason” sweeps by. Reason just being a new regime. A new understanding of the world. A constructed ideology about how the past beleives are bad, and that reason usually brings a great deal of violence. But eventually reason turns back into myth. Reason here is the development of what we consider to be the modern technological world, brought to this reason from myth such as ancient stories across the earth.  We have recontextualized our world.  But here in the matrix we see so clearly the archetype that so many of us recognize.  Its the reason returning to myth. Reason lied the whole time. They were lying, and wrong. Some of them knew they were wrong, but went with it, some of them, just were shits.  Pointing back to myth and the matrix,  this is the world of reason. Technology, but we see this as a common theme that I think should be looked at more closely as to the significance of it and not just philsoophical bullshit, because what we are talking about actually, is socialogy,, its the study of psychology, communication, folkloristics, history. We are studying why humans do the things they do and why and what led them to these conclusions and what can we learn from that to not fuck shit up as much in the future.  returning totopic of reason and myth, myth here is the concept of mind over matter.  When we talk about code as a metaverse, anomalies in code, you can see it in games when ai does things that are fucking wierd, like for exampel that video of the reef guard walking off the edge. Its the myth that there are aspects of this universe that we cannot fully understand just because of the sheer amounts of data. Very similar to our current physical reality.  Its the works like alphaville, .HackSign, ergo proxy, and so much more that I’m missing righ tnow, but this is.... some deep shit.  Myth is just that. A myth. but its also so much more.  See, the biggest myth of them all. The point of all of this so concisely.  The biggest myth of them all is that reason is anything but just another myth. In this sense, the archetype of reason is a lie.  The archeytpe of reason is to create meaning of the world.  But is it possible, that in our efforts to create meaning in the world, that we actually destoryed or could no longer see the actual meaning of the world. That our creation of reason and our labeling of our previous existence a “myth”. Is that not actually just a power play creating a new set of myths.  What does that say when this “reason” is completley constructed, and so fragile. thats a part of that biggest myth. Reason as the construct is not strong. Its not “reasonable” at all.  I think it would be beneficial to reexamine the myths of the past to try and understand them better. And approach them from a perspective that they might actually teach us something about ourselves.  If our reason continues to be so fragile that it returns to myth repeadetly perpetually. Maybe we should actually fucking stop and look at this shit.  Its like a bill. Eventually were gonna open one of them and then your mind will be blown and your reality shattered and you’ll be like, damn Toland, you shoulda told me that sooner, and Toland will be like, fuuuuck you, I told u so long ago you piece of shit.  and then the guardian will be like, ... yeeee......

[iam451]

#WeAintSlavesNoMore #HandleWithCare #LayInYoHair

#WeAintSlavesNoMore

“Such an uncomfortable world to procreate in.”

A casual Thursday twisting her fingers over and understitching closed the once ripped pair of jeans. 

“Now run along and break something else you lil tax write off.” 

Taylor had what some referred to as an unconventional sense of humor this included but clearly wasn’t limited to religion, politics and pretty much anything a majority would consider taboo. Her first marriage ended with a couple stab wounds in her ex-husband Frank stomach. One cloudy night on the way home from a family dinner, Frank thought it was a good idea to hit Taylor too fully express his anger and establish his respect as a man.

“I stabbed the shit out that motha’ fucka’, nigga was walking silly for months on eggshells, ya hear me !? You couldn’t catch him in a kitchen, I pull out a plastic knife he just might have a flashback. I bet he never put his hands on me again, I promise you that.” 

It wasn't just the lack of remorse but also the level of respect Taylor demanded as a woman that inspired the thirteen-year-old Sierra. The daughter of a southern baptist pastor, would Sierra ever understand one's heaven is another ones hell. Only time would tell.

#WeAintSlavesNoMore

mor·alˈmôrəl/ adjective concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.

A Priest, a Preacher and a Pimp all board a ship at the same damn time.

“Ain’t that a bitch!?” Asked the Pimp.

“God built this?” Inquired the Preacher.

“We make the rules” Yelled the Priest pulling up his pants. 

He was so offended he didn’t shake my hand. You can grow in a church

that doesn’t make you worthy. Just cause you in the streets don’t make you dirty.

The Preacher asked for offering actin’ like he didn’t hear me.

The Pimp recited versus off the bodies of whores who didn’t like women 

colder than December, they enjoyed sinning, pussy always trending.

That part got both the Priest and Preachers full attention.

“How long since your last confession?” 

“Can I get a witness?” 

“Money over Bitches?”

Morals ...

don’t be funny, you can’t buy that.

I could be bitter decided life was better without that.

#WeAintSlavesNoMore 

........

#HandleWithCare

It feels good to dance with your soul mate in a dark room of humor, 

you both get it.

Think of the person who brings the sun even on the darkest, rainiest, shittiest of days. With open arms and grace, they don’t scrutinize passions and goals rather motivate you towards accomplishing them. The feeling you get when you know that person really cares, this emotional connection is so rare.

#HandleWithCare  

#LayInYoHair

We met, we drank then kissed all night at the bar. Drugs and alcohol added to the noise what was there to be distracted for? Her, Who, How, Whatever after a while our bodies cooled down. She begged for me to cum see her in the morning, but I didn’t fuck her.

-- In every group of friends there is always one who couldn’t fathom any reason ever except for std’s, of course, to pass over on sex and they sound like

“Wait! What! You didn’t fuck her!? Why?”

I let her know I wasn’t rambling, falling in love is like gambling. 

Kiss me I will kiss you back wherever you want 

if only 4U it feels right.

I’ve called before a came so many times,

forgot their names and never called again. 

I wanna lay in yo hair,

If I touch you I’m gonna wanna love you again,

then fuck all the pretendin’ n shit 

I wanna make you cum again and all over again.

#LayInYoHair

[skiasurveys]

im fkn bored man

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? well im dating someone :3

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? yes just once and that is now

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in? the one i am in right now which is 1 year as of may 10th

4: Have you ever changed for someone? yeah a few people

5: How is your relationship with your ex? well  i just deleted my one ex off fb because his posts annoy the fuck outta me and i didnt need him on there! My other ex sometimes tries to talk to me but thats really it. im not friends with any of my exes.

6: Have you ever been cheated on? not that i know of

7: Have you ever cheated? no 

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating? idk thats hard because i dont like to believe rumors and so i would have to know him i guess. If i was told by everyone he was a cheater then i would probably not date him. 

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship? companionship, trust, honesty, affection, happiness, empathy 

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? serious. flings are pointless. 

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”? no because i think breaks are basically just where youre not dating but you guys arent completely broken up yet.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?   by hook up you mean fucka  random stranger? none. 

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?  saying i love you way too soon especially when i didnt mean it, dating someone because everyone else thinks i should. I regret doing things because i thought i knew everyone wanted too. example was my one ex i didnt like really and i only dated him because eveyrone thought he was great..

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?  kids?...KIDS???

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?  im bias because my bf is 6 years older than me but i do believe it is just a number UNLESS the person is like 15 dating a 22 yr old then thats fucking weird. But if youre both consenting adults then whatever. except for dudes who are like 35 dating 18 year olds thas just fucking weird to me.

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?  no. not love thats lust. 

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet? I mean yeah, if you talk all the time, everyday, share your secrets, then yeah. some of my greasts friendships were online, but i cant do online dating because i need to be with them. I did date someone online once and that was just pointless. Unless you meet from online and then can see them every couplemonths ( like ldr). but yeah idk i understand i over answered the question lmao

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?  Lying to me, cheating, doing illegal shit ( like hardcore stuff...), if you hit me..and if you hate my friends for no reason..

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship? you just know. Usually if you lose feelings, or they just keep fucking up your life and or if you know youre just not compatible anymore..

20: Are you currently in a relationship? yeah! its our one year in may! 05.10.16

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? some can, if you can be mature adults. Unless you were super serious and then something happened! It all really depends on the relationship. I was friends with some of my exes but they turned to shit when i started to date Connor they got all jealous and some got super creepy wanting to know about our sexual life..like wtf..

22: Do you think people should date their friends? yeah but make sure they are on the same page.. but i also believe your significant other should be your best friend ^_^ 

23: How many relationships have you had? 4 including the one I am in now.

24: Do you think love can last forever?it can if you can work at it. 

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? not everything.

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of? no because my sister doesnt like my bf but i honestly dont care. Unless they had like actual valid reasons like if he were to abuse me which he obvs isnt.

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? Dont date someone because they like you. Dont date someone because they “look” nice. Dont date them because everyone else thinks they are awesome. and finally dont say I love you until you mean it!

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? yeah. I did one once, andit took lots of trust but in the long run was pointless. I am in one now but its temporary hes back next month!

29: What do you notice first about another person? Hair and teeth. and for dudes it can be also if they have facial hair and have nice arms lmaoooo.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? Straight as fuck

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? No because I already do and I know my bf has depression even tho he tries to self medicate with weed smh.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? verbally.

33: Do you want to get married one day? Yeah. One day.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed? I just think it is dumb because one i dont need his name tattooed on me..two..like you never know they could not work out and then its awkward.

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?  not rly i need that physical touch BUT i will respect their wishes if theyre not ready, theyre not ready.

36: Are you still a virgin? Nope

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality? BOTH. 

38: Do you enjoy love films? yes but i dont watch them with my bf

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? yes

40: Have you ever had a valentine? yes

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?   where we both are connecting well and having fun. I dont need a fancy ass dinner.I rather have fun and connect well than have a sit down dinner and it be awkward.

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”? yeah

43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends? Both. My boyfriend is my friend too so cmon. I would never ditch my bf for my friends and i wouldnt ditch my friends for my bf. Unless there was a legit reason

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”? i try to be

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?  my bf is my friend so

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”? no

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?  dont know. dont care.

48: What’s your favorite love song?  I can’t help falling in love with you

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes. It sucks but sometimes you have too. I broke up with my ex like 2 years ago because he wasnt rly a good bf and I know he loved me a lot but He just wasnt what I want. He also was very bad at communication! He didnt talk to me for also 2 months LMAO so I was like bye bitch and Yeah he was out working but i dont know it was pointless. Ldr, and i didnt rly find him that attractive anymore and we didnt conenct. He tries to still talk but its like no honey..lmao

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?  n/a

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy? poor but nice.

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?  I try to 

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?  I do when im single cus you want to be with someone.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? i like it but connor doesnt rly use fb so were not rly facebook offical, and i mean that doesnt mean shit. I do say im in a relatonship tho, I aint gonna lie. But he doesnt rly use fb except for messaging.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”? Clingy I think. its my anxiety disorder, i get nervous they dont want me around and so i get so clingy and I also love them alot..

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship? no but if i did i would feel awful. Unless I was doing it out of good heart ( like if someone was being abused).

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?   no suicide is never silly.

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?  submissive.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?  no

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?  i just think theyre stupid. But if you both into that, whatever.. but i just dont see that as a relationship..thats jsut me tho.. 

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?  stop asking this shit. Makes me guilty. 

62: How do you define “cheating”?  If you have to hide it.. if youre kissing..flirting..touching..

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? No just dont rly tell me about it, because i dont care. but i watch porn too. it would jsut annoy me if he was like swooning over porn stars or watching it more than fucking me.

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?  yes. its kinda stupid. you dont need ONE day to show you care.

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?  hard core

[justventingjustventing-blog]

ok so posting surveys on here in my new thing because i always wanna do it on facebook but never do because people i know dont need to know this shit about me and no one on here is going to read them so fuck yeah

basics what’s your name ➔nunya do you have a nickname ➔ biz do you have a middle name ➔ness do you like your name ➔ no my parents are awful people  do people often mispronounce your name ➔ yes do you like the meaning of your name ➔ my name means “a queen in germany in the like 15oo’s” so yeah when is your birthday ➔ 4/20 how old are you ➔420 do you like your age ➔ well i can buy alcohal so yeah what’s your zodiac sign ➔ pisces 

appearance what’s your hair colour ➔ sand is your current hair colour your natural hair colour ➔yes do you dye your hair ➔ twice do you have natural highlights ➔yeah bitches fuck yall  when was the last time you had a haircut ➔2013 what length is your hair right now ➔ 3 large penises do you have straight, wavy or curly hair ➔ my hair is about as gay as me (its fucking straight) do you have frizzy hair ➔hell nah do you use a curling iron ➔no do you use a hair straightener ➔yes do you braid your hair ➔ when im bored  what’s your eye colour ➔ grass do your eyes change colour ➔no but the lighting around them makes them look different colors  do you wear contacts ➔ no  if so, do you use colour contacts or regular contacts ➔no do you wear glasses ➔ no do you have naturally long eyelashes ➔i was born without eyelashes  do you wear braces ➔ yeah but just as an accessory  do you have dimples ➔yes do you have moles ➔i have frecles do you have outstanding cheekbones ➔well no but just because they didnt get an award in school doesnt mean their not smart  do you have freckles ➔i have moles do you have piercings ➔ yes do you have tattoos ➔yes do you wear make up ➔yes do you paint your nails ➔no  do you wear jewelry ➔ no  are you happy with your height ➔ FUCK NO IM BARLEY TALL ENOUGH TO NOT NEED A FUCKING CAR SEAT  personality would you consider yourself outgoing or shy ➔yes are you sarcastic  ➔no  what’s your biggest fear ➔fear itself  what’s your guilty pleasure ➔mastication (yeah look back at it ya perv, read it wrong fucker.)  are you religious ➔ yes do you get easily along with people ➔yes do you cry easily ➔yes

school (TRIGGER WARNING) do you go to middle school ➔ no? do you go to high school ➔ no? do you go to a private school ➔ no? are you home schooled ➔no what the fuck god  have you gratuated from school ➔GOD  what grade are you in ➔FUCK YOU  have you skipped a grade ➔ IM NOT ANSWERING THE REST OF THE SCHOOL QUESTIONS  have you been held back a grade ➔ have you ever failed a class  ➔ have you been sent to the principals office ➔ have you skipped school ➔ have you cheated on a test ➔ family do you live with your biological parents ➔ yes do you get along with your parents ➔ yes do you tell your parents everything ➔ fuck no  do you have strict parents ➔ im 19 so no I PAY TO LIVE THERE I JUST DONT NEED TO GET AN APARTMENT I SWEAR IM NOT GONNA STAY THERE FOREVER IM LEAVING TOWN IN LIKE 3 FUCKING MONTHS  do you have siblings ➔i have a spawn of satan who used to share a room with me  are you the oldest ➔ yes are you in the middle ➔no what the fuck god why does it make you go through all these just put it in one question damn  are you the youngest ➔ are all of your grandparents still alive ➔ no  friendships do you have a best friend ➔ yes  do you have more than 10 friends ➔ fuck no do you have at least 2 friends you can trust with your life ➔lol probably not they never answer my calls and suck in general  do you have a lot of guy friends, a lot of girl friends or equal girl and guy friends ➔im not in middle school ok i dont give a fuck  do you text with your friends a lot ➔ of course i cant get mad at these stupid questions because i am the one that picked this one oh and also shout out to who ever made this thanks but you suck  relationships what’s your relationship status ➔ MARRIED BITCH  have you ever been in love ➔FUCKING DUH  do you believe in love at first sight ➔NO  have you ever been in a relationship ➔no  have you ever had a secret admirer ➔idk??? if their secret how would i know damn  have you ever been asked out on a date ➔ yes have you ever been kissed ➔no  have you ever made out with someone ➔yes  have you ever been cheated on ➔ yes  have you ever been proposed to ➔ yes  do you want to get married ➔nope  do you want kids ➔dogs  country where were you born ➔F where do you live right now ➔ U have you ever been out of the country ➔yes do you prefer country or city ➔country  do you like sightseeing ➔yes  is one or more of your parents from another country ➔no  what places would you like to visit  ➔ya moms house  are you fluent in more than one language ➔si papi  what languages can you speak ➔german  health do you have any allergies ➔i am allergic to bullshit and with the evolving liberals in this country it has impaired me from going to work YOU PEOPLE OWE ME  are you lactose intolerant ➔na have you had surgery ➔na have you had stitches ➔na have you broken a bone ➔ na  has someone close to you died of a disease ➔ya do you exercise a lot  ➔ na  experiences have you ever had a near death experiene ➔everything out of my confort zone is a near death experience to me  have you ever been on a plane ➔ ya have you ever had an allnighter ➔i have pulled an all nighter but i have never had one  have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night ➔no i just skip and then sleep. light burns my skin sometimes  have you ever been in a physical fight ➔ya have you ever been to a wedding ➔my own  have you ever been to a funeral ➔ yes  have you ever lived in a different country ➔yes. america is a very different place and i would not suggest going there have you ever been drunk ➔ yes have you ever been trick or treating ➔ nope. jk yes my parents loved me  have you ever been in a school play ➔yes.  have you ever been to a camp ➔what kind of camp are we talking about? because honest to god no jokes aside i read it and thought it meant concentration camp but them i was like no fucking way thats awful no way thats what they mean have you ever driven a car ➔  WHAT AGE GROUP WAS THIS MEANT FOR  skills how many languages are you fluent in ➔ YOU ALREADY ASKED THIS BITCH  have you ever read a book in another language ➔yes but i had no idea what it was saying  can you roll your tongue ➔ fuck yeah can you braid hair ➔already asked this question oml can you do a handstand ➔ yes if someone is holding my feet habits do you crack your knuckles ➔yeah and now i have to bitch  do you bite your nails ➔no thats fucking gross  do you bite your lips ➔why is this here but not smoking

favourites what’s your favourite movie ➔ donnie darko all the way motha fucka what’s your favourite tv show ➔shameless what’s your favourite book ➔ dont remember what its called but its a sex novel (and not 50 shade of grey fuck that shit)  what’s your favourite song ➔ this question is so stupid everyone answers it by saying “idk theres so many”  what’s your favourite colour ➔ㅠㅣㅐㅐㅇ ㅐㄱ뭏ㄷ lol im in korea and acedentally typed that. sorry if its offensive.  what’s your favourite animal ➔ㄹ허ㅗㅎㄹㅀㅎㅅ쇼롷ㄹ홀쇼ㅗㅎㄹ what’s your favourite season ➔ ㅁ숒ㄷㅀㄷㄷㄴㅁㄷㅈㄱㄴㅇㅈㄷ퓨ㅕㅑㅁ퓨ㅗㅑㅕㅁㅎ러아호 this or that summer or winter ➔녀ㅡㅡㄷㄱ  day or night ➔ㅜㅑ홋  cats or dogs ➔DOGS  rain or shine ➔RAIN  coffee or tea ➔TEA reading or writing ➔WRITING  humorous or serious ➔SERIOUS DUH HAVE YOU NOT BEEN READING THIS  brown or blue eyes ➔blue  single or group dates ➔ well im not into orgies  texts or calls ➔calls  driving or walking ➔drive  last last phone call ➔the hub hub last text ➔ditto  last song you listened to ➔some song the hubs was listening to while we were on the phone  last thing you ate ➔dick  last thing you drank ➔water  last purchase ➔food  last time you cleaned your room ➔ literally never  last time you’ve been on a date ➔yesterday