#and i just want to be there for them through it and help them sort things out

[wirewitchviolet]

So I was already sitting down to ramble about something, and turns out this post and this big reply under it tie in pretty well, so, here we go.

There are enough bespoke issues trans people justifiably feel very passionate about, and enough different experiences different trans people have that it is damn easy to end up in a huge fight because one person tried to make a nice simple statement for a clueless cis audience, but viewed through another person's lens it reads like some kind of attack. And it certainly never helps that bigots are actively out there constantly trying to co-op messages and sew infighting that any statement no matter how clear and good WILL get weaponized.

Before I get into the above, the go-to example I was planning to use was "you don't have to transition to be trans." There's a ton of ways you can read that which are great and worth echoing. For instance, "hey, if you've worked out that people got your gender wrong, you are trans and can come hang out in the trans clubhouse and ask for advice and all that without proving it through medical intervention."

Or, "hey don't be a weird gatekeeping creep who only recognizes people's gender if they don't jump through a particular medical hoop like taking a particular medication or get a particular surgery, which might not be something they even want due to risks, side effects, or not seeing it as a problem to begin with, and/or might not be something they CAN do anything about, because the typical medical treatment would not work on them for any number of reasons/is prohibitively expensive/too socially dangerous to go forward with in their current situation/is only even done by like a couple dozen specialists in the world who are booked out years in advance and many of whom actively discriminate against all sorts of potential patients."

You can see how it's nice to have a short catchy phrase. BUT it's absolutely a reality that awful bigots these days are going with the wildly bad faith and not even remotely true reading of "it's OK to deny transition-related care to trans people, because they don't actually NEED it!"

And you know, regardless of where you're encountering this phrase, you should always bear in mind those points about being totally valid and welcome in the community without a signed doctor's note, and how it's completely valid to be, oh, a woman who's hung like a horse and proud of it and such women shouldn't be treated like they need to go see someone about that, give people the benefit of the doubt that they're using it in such a sense if there's any chance they are, and at the same time be on the lookout for bad faith creeps misusing it and taking whatever steps are necessary to prevent them from to or about any trans person again unless/until they somehow manage to stop being a hateful piece of garbage and somehow become a decent human being.

Phew. All THAT out of the, way, I take a fair deal of issue with seeing the comment above me saying "the 'not transgender' people in the poster are clearly intersex" because holy hell is that a bad faith reading. All the concerns regarding intersex kids following that jumping off point are super valid and worth mention, of course. Doctors are constantly looking at baby's junk, going "huh, that doesn't look right, lemme do a quick surgery I'm not even necessarily trained in to get this looking more like whichever configuration I personally prefer the aesthetics of here, that probably won't cause any long term memory problems or trauma and there's almost a 50/50 shot I'm guessing right about what this kid'll want things looking like down here in a couple decades!" And that is just incredibly messed up. As is the practice of just throwing, say, testosterone boosters at someone perceived to be a teenage boy who doesn't seem "manly enough" to someone, which is a general queer kid concern, sure.

But none of that is going on in this poster. What's going on is kids getting hit with puberty-related symptoms they do not want (specifically boobs beards and voice changes), clearly stating this, and asking for medical help to make them not happen. If we wanna play Occam's Razor with the kids plainly labelled as "not transgender," boys growing breasts is called gynecomastia and a quick Google search confirms that... it is completely useless as a search engine because it's giving me 20 conflicting reputable-looking sources ranging from 1% to 70% of teenage boys. Facial hair on cis women is also really freaking common, to a point where it being relatively rare if you're white specifically makes it feel more like a racism thing than anything.

The real thing to remember though is that the obvious reason this poster exists is to get people who are completely uneducated on any of this and have been steadily exposed to propaganda from transphobes for their entire lives to the point where they have a hard time imagining trans people as actual human beings to consider the concept of HRT from a clear perspective by taking us out of the equation for a moment and just making them try to empathise with kids dealing with some of the same stuff, and it has to make that point in less time than it takes someone to finish walking past this telephone pole or wherever else someone might place this. And... OK if I'm really honest it's probably still too wordy and reliant on people having SOME idea of what being trans even means, but it's pretty good within those restrictions! Don't overthink it! Really don't project stuff that absolutely is not actually on there onto it! Focus more on actual bigots and doing something about what they're doing than nitpicking people who are doing good effective activism work you'd phrase differently!

This is the first time i’ve seen a pro-trans poster in a long time and i hope whoever put it up is having a good day, it made me feel a little less alone.

Hamilton, New Zealand

[cherienymphe]

Suburbia X

Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: mentions of NON-CON, DUB-CON, blackmail, voyeurism, stalking, breeding kink, eventual violence, age gap, brief side of Bucky x reader, babysitter!Peter, mommy!reader

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts | divider by @silkholland

➥ series masterlist

~

“Thanks for coming.”

That was what you finally said to Peter after you both had been sitting on your couch for what felt like hours. In truth, it was only about ten minutes, but the silence was so tense and heavy—and you were so nervous and terrified of the young man in front of you—that the time didn’t pass normally in your mind.

Peter wasn’t wearing his glasses today, and without them he looked beyond only twenty-three. Or maybe that was all in your head. Maybe the reveal of his true character and nature made him seem so much more intimidating…and in turn, older. His dark curls framed his face as he gazed at you, patiently waiting for you to say what he was no doubt eagerly waiting to hear.

“Well…” he ran his eyes over your face. “Over the phone I asked if this was about our talk, and you said sort of, so naturally I became curious.”

You nodded at that, glancing away from him and taking in the silence of your house. Your girls were asleep, and you envied them in this moment. You envied their innocence and their complete ignorance of what was going on around them and their own part in it. You would never in a million years tell them what you were about to put yourself through just to protect them and their quality of life, but you hoped they’d grow up to understand the lengths you would go to for them.

You swiped your tongue between your lips.

“I wanted to tell you face to face that you were right,” you finally said, looking at him.

Peter’s face was hard to read, but there was a noticeable glint in his dark eyes that made your heart stutter. He didn’t take his eyes off of you as he straightened, and it made him appear taller. You felt so small and insignificant beneath his gaze, and you desperately tried to remember what you were doing and why you were doing it. Peter had seamlessly shifted the power dynamic—and in the worst way possible—and you desperately needed to have the upperhand again.

“When I chose to be a single mom…I did it with no regrets and because it was genuinely what I wanted.”

Peter leaned in a bit, and you spoke up.

“...and so…determined to prove something, I think that I never even really considered the possibility of more. Of more helping hands, of more comforting figures in their lives, of more…love that could be given to my girls,” you continued, looking between his eyes. “...and me.”

Peter wasn’t saying anything, and you felt a stab of panic, wondering if he saw through you.

“You were right. You are so good to them…and me, and it’s terrifying not only because it’s new but also because it’s you.”

You abruptly stood, turning away from him.

“You’re so much younger and I hired you and Peter, you have to understand,” your voice cracked as you stared at the wall. “You have to understand how I’m feeling because this makes me look and feel like some predator, like-.”

You cut yourself off when familiar hands took your arms, forcing you to face him, and you watched the way Peter’s expression softened with one look at your face.

“I know that I said some unkind things, but this situation is very tricky and scary and has the potential to really change my life in a way that can’t be undone or at the very least not for years and years to come-.”

“I know that,” he whispered, finally speaking again. “Trust me, I understand-.”

“You say that, but if this doesn’t work out, you're not the one who’s going to have to deal with the fallout. Do you truly understand how people will see me? It doesn’t matter that this was reciprocated. Cougar will be one of the nicer words I’ll be referred to as…”

Your words died in your throat as Peter gently shushed you, one hand coming up to graze your now tearful cheek. The way he looked at you told you that he believed everything you were saying, but you couldn’t be sure. He leaned in a tad, and on instinct, you turned your face away. Your gaze lowered to focus on the floor, and you felt Peter’s breath on your face as he sighed.

“No. You’re not the kind of woman to just jump into something like this, and I should have known that,” he whispered, more to himself than you. “I should’ve known that you would panic and freak out and follow your initial instinct of rejecting this in every way you can.”

The younger man rubbed your arms, hands gently sliding up and down over the fabric of your sleeves, and you shuddered.

“You’re smart about things, and it’s why I love you,” he murmured, making your stomach churn. “I should have thought about that, gone about this differently.”

You finally met his gaze, and your heart dropped to your stomach at the way he looked at you. It reminded you of that night—or what you could remember from it, anyway—and the morning after and the day at the restaurant. One of his hands tightened on your arm, and you swallowed at the position you put yourself in.

“...but you don’t understand what you do to me,” Peter chuckled.

It was light, and his teeth winked at you, and his eyes gleamed in a way that terrified you. It didn’t matter what you believed because Peter believed he was in love with you and was the one for you and was the best father for your girls. His mind was made up, and you felt that you should’ve accepted as such when he went through such great lengths to back you into a corner.

He handled this whole ordeal like a man with nothing to lose, and you supposed that in a way, that was true. In this scenario, you were the one with way more to lose. If this ever got out, you would be the villain in this story, and it was something that Peter had so eloquently thrown in your face.

“I don’t think I can say I regret confronting you like I did at the restaurant,” he confessed, his thumb brushing along your lip. “...but believe it or not, I didn’t take pleasure in putting things into perspective for you like that.”

So that was what he was calling it.

“I don’t take pleasure in hurting you in any way, even if it is only making you uncomfortable for a short while, but I needed to make you understand. Understand what you mean to me and what I would do to have you.”

When his lips gently brushed along yours, you let him kiss you.

“You don’t even know the things I would do for you—the things I have done for you,” he whispered into the kiss, and you couldn’t stop your form from trembling.

Peter noticed, and he made a humming noise.

“There are a lot of things for you to fear in this world, but now that we see eye to eye, I’ll never be one of them.”

You felt tears kiss your eyes as he tried to kiss you again, but spoke, effectively halting his movements.

“It’s not you I’m afraid of, Peter.”

A lie.

He seemed to understand what you were getting at, and he chuckled again. The dark-haired man pulled back some to gaze at you like you were so silly, and you hated how boyish that smile made him.

“You’re it for me, Y/N. Don’t you get that? Hmm?”

He held your gaze with his own dark one.

“Whatever comes of this, you’ll never have to doubt my loyalty. I’m going to be by your side when things inevitably progress into something more public, and I will make sure that whatever those…” he took a deep breath, lip curling over his teeth. “...women put you through, it will be worth it.”

His brows drew together as he fought to make you believe his words.

“I swear to you, now that it won’t hold a candle to coming home to me everyday. I’m going to make you so happy that whatever they have to say won’t mean a thing to you.”

Peter kissed you again then, deeply inhaling.

“I’m not going anywhere…”

You knew that those words—if nothing else—were true, and that was what you hated.

You stood with your arms around yourself as you watched Peter bring a suitcase into the house. You had prepared yourself for this, anticipating by all of his actions so far that Peter was not one to take things slow. Or at least, he didn’t want to take things slowly with you. Besides, if you were going to get your hands on every copy of that tape he possibly had, then you needed to be up under each other’s noses.

You needed him to be comfortable enough to bring his things—his laptop—into your house and not spare your proximity a second thought. When he caught your eye, you gave him a gentle smile, and while he was slow to return it, he eventually did. You took your time in nearing him.

“I know how nervous this makes you,” he told you, and he reached for your face. “It’s okay. We’ll be discreet for a while, and I’ll gradually make myself at home, and when the time is right…”

He trailed off, a secretive smile dancing on his lips at the thought of going public with you one day.

“Thank you,” you finally replied. “You don’t even understand how much that puts me at ease, Peter. Especially since I know how difficult this is for you.”

The look he gave you encouraged you to elaborate, and so you did.

“While I might not completely understand it just yet, you do love me, and it can’t be easy hiding a relationship with someone you care about so much.”

You noticed the way his face fell a bit at that, and you reached out to rest your hand on his arm.

“I don’t doubt that you want to navigate like any other couple in the world, but you’re being considerate of me and how this will affect me, and it means a lot.”

You stepped closer, and you watched Peter’s eyes drink in the action.

“You’re so good to me,” you whispered to him.

At that, he didn’t take his eyes off of you, and you played with the fabric of his sweater.

“...and I’m sorry that I let my fear and panic prevent me from seeing that before.”

You watched him take a deep breath, dark eyes still trained on you.

“It’s okay,” he quietly told you. “I forgive you for that, you don’t have to…”

He shook his head.

“Don’t apologize for it.”

You took his hand, and Peter was eager in threading his fingers through yours. He pulled you along up the stairs to unpack, and you told yourself that smiling in his face and kissing him with your eyes closed and telling him what he wanted to hear was the easy part. As you walked down the hall—Peter taking the lead—you reminded yourself that the hard part was only just beginning. 

The real challenge would come in cohabitating with him like he was someone you cared about. The truly hard part of all this would come when he wanted to shower together and wrap his arms around you in bed and pull you against him like you were any average couple in love. 

When he wanted to have sex with you.

This would go beyond just acting, but you would have to fully embody someone else—someone who cared about this man almost as much as he cared about you but was simply hesitant and nervous. You would have to take on an entirely new persona, and to make it all the more challenging, you had to do it in enough time to get what you needed before he wanted this relationship to go public.

…because you didn’t care what Peter said.

He wasn’t going to be content with keeping this between you forever.

You hadn’t missed the way he’d said Bucky’s name at that restaurant. There were more sides to Peter you hadn’t been privy to yet, and you hoped to God that you never would be, but you knew without a doubt that there was a part of Peter that wanted to show this entire town you belonged to him. Peter had never struck you as that kind of man, but then again, there were a lot of things about him that you absolutely would have never guessed.

As you helped him unpack what he brought over, you tried to keep your face even at the sight of clothes and toiletries and nothing else.

“I’ll have to tell Nat that I rehired you, of course,” you said to him, hesitantly glancing his way. “It seems silly to have you hide away any time she comes over.”

Peter found that funny for some reason, and he nodded.

“Of course. What are you going to tell her when she asks why?”

You stewed on that for a moment.

“I haven’t decided on that yet. Maybe I’ll tell her that I just really need you around, right now,” you eventually came up with, and it wasn’t a lie.

“Well, it’s not a lie,” he said, voicing your own thought. “You do need me.”

He leaned in and pressed his lips to the side of your neck, pausing in his unpacking to give you his attention. Peter’s intentions were pretty clear, and you didn’t doubt that said intentions had been on his mind from the moment you’d uttered the words ‘you were right’ earlier. While you knew that it would eventually come to that—probably as soon as hours from now—you weren’t mentally prepared. You couldn’t make your body do that, right now, and so you hurried to ruin his mood.

“I’ll have to tell Bucky the same…”

Your words had the desired effect, and you relaxed a little when Peter froze. He lifted his head from the crook of your neck to rest his chin on it, and while you had expected several things, you hadn’t expected the next words that came from his mouth.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for Mr. Barnes to come by here, anymore.”

You couldn’t stop your frown at that, and you pulled away just a little to turn and face him. Peter’s visage was entirely serious, and your frown deepened as you realized this. His expression didn't relent at all the longer you stared at him, and you were the one to break the tense silence.

“Peter…”

“I’m serious,” he confirmed, moving to finish unpacking the rest of his clothes. “Now that our relationship has evolved, I don’t want him coming by here anymore.”

“...but he’s my friend.”

The younger man gave a scoffing bark of a laugh at that, and you watched him run his hand through his thick curls.

“Friend,” he repeated. “Yeah, sure.”

The humor disappeared from his features by the time he looked at you again.

“He’s your friend because you didn’t want more with him. If you had, he wouldn’t be your friend right now, and we’d be having an entirely different conversation.”

You blinked at that.

“The kind that would involve me telling you to break up with him because I actually dislike sharing.”

His tone was serious, and you swallowed as he stared you down. Your lips parted, and you snapped them shut, thinking over your next words carefully.

“If I suddenly stop being friends with him, it’ll be very suspicious, Peter.”

He stared at you for what felt like too long, expression unmoving before his lips suddenly pulled into a small smile.

“While true, I imagine that him walking in on you coming around me would be even more suspicious.”

His words had you blinking furiously, but before you could respond to such a thinly veiled threat, you heard a familiar cry. The curly-haired young man didn’t hesitate to drop what he was doing in favor of checking on whichever twin had woken up from her nap first.

You were still tense from his parting words, and telling yourself that you needed to pick your battles wisely, you softly sighed.

You knew that you couldn’t just outright ask Peter to delete that video. It was so brazenly stupid that not only would Peter accuse you of not trusting him, but he might even suspect this whole thing was an act. He’d be right, of course, and it was why you had to convincingly get him settled into a comfortable lull. 

…and you had to do that by committing to doing things you weren’t comfortable doing.

Your fingers clawed at your sheets as Peter’s tongue swiped between your folds and pressed itself into your core. Your girls were down for the night, and you knew that as soon as they were, and dinner was done and put away, Peter would waste no time in reaching out for what he felt now belonged to him.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about that night since it happened,” he’d murmured to you, humming at the taste of wine on your lips.

You’d concluded that you needed something in your system if you were to commit to this.

“The sounds you made, the way you tasted on my lips,” he’d breathed into your mouth. “The way you felt wrapped around me.”

He’d taken a reprieve on the stairs, just pinning you against the wall and kissing you. His hands hadn’t stayed in one place for long, touching every inch of you that he could, and when he seemed satisfied, he continued in pulling you towards your bedroom.

“Fuck,” he’d swore into the kiss the moment you were through the threshold. “I can’t wait to be inside of you again.”

The moments that followed bled together into one long endless pleasurable moment. You didn’t know if it was a relief or not that Peter was so skilled and so determined to make you come undone. You found it shockingly easy to surrender to his ministrations, unable to swallow down your moans and whimpers as he ate you out.

His tongue—so warm and firm—greedily lapped at you, and his fingers pressed into your thighs so hard that you didn’t doubt there’d be bruises in the morning. Your chest arched as you squirmed on the bed, and unable to help yourself, one of your hands found it’s way to his curls. Peter hummed against your cunt, and you knew that he liked that.

You confirmed as much when he reached up to find your other hand before forcing it to find a home in his hair right next to your other one. You were completely naked—Peter having wasted no time in getting your clothes off of you—but your nudity did nothing to cool you down. A thin layer of sweat coated your skin, and you absentmindedly recalled that Peter was only partially undressed.

It seemed that he only just remembered that too, and when he pulled his mouth away from you, you were ashamed of the stab of disappointment that tore through you. Your chest heaved with deep breaths, and you blinked as you watched him sit up before getting undressed.

He didn’t take his eyes off of you as he did, pulling his lip between his teeth as he rejoined you on the bed, a hand wrapping around your ankle. The wine in your system definitely helped you to relax, but if you were honest, it did more than that. Playing this part came to you easier than you anticipated, and that worried you a little. Maybe even scared you a little.

The younger man was gentle in running his hand up your leg, fingers dancing along your skin as he did so. His dark eyes appeared even darker if that were at all possible, and in this moment, it was evident that Peter cared about nothing more than he did the thought of being inside of you again.

Glancing down, you caught sight of his cock—erect and wet at the very tip and just waiting to fill you up.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Peter murmured, reaching for your face.

When he kissed you, you didn’t swallow down your hum in time, and your throat vibrated as it climbed out of your mouth and into the kiss. Peter’s entire body covered yours as he made himself comfortable on top of you, and—playing your part—you rested your hands on his back. His hands slid down to grip your thighs, pushing them apart to accommodate him, and you gasped at the feel of his length pressing against you.

Peter didn’t waste any more time.

Forcing your knees to hook over his arms, Peter lifted his hips and dipped his cock into you with one smooth thrust. A choked gasp left you, and your mouth was soundlessly parted as he started to thrust into you, hips snapping against yours every time. Your hands slid over him, unsure of what to grasp onto, and you couldn’t stop the small whimpers that started to fall from your lips.

Peter was fucking you with the assured confidence that he finally had you.

The strained grunts that left his mouth were in time with every push of his cock, and you were almost ashamed of how wet you were. Although, you supposed that it would only prove to help you in convincing Peter this was genuine. You were literally dripping around him, and you repeatedly reminded yourself that you were playing a part. That you were doing what you needed to do to earn his trust and get him to let his guard down.

Although that was easier said than done when his lips kept seeking yours out. Every kiss he gave you was hungry and heated, and you gasped again when his teeth nipped at the sensitive skin there. His toned chest repeatedly brushed against yours with every movement, and the gentle stimulation against your hardened buds made you shudder beneath him.

Every time he dipped his cock into you, the sound reached your ears…and his too.

“You’re dripping for me,” he whispered into the kiss. “I love how wet you are.”

You wanted to come up with something to say to reel him in more, but you were genuinely at a loss for words. It was hard to focus on anything besides the feel of him stretching you out.

“I’m so glad you came around, So glad,” he murmured, kissing you over and over and over again. “I really…I really didn’t want to do things the hard way.”

Your bed shook beneath you as Peter pounded into you, his curls tickling your skin.

“You may not believe that, but it’s true.”

He finally paused, holding himself inside of you as he pulled his head back some. He stared into your eyes—both of your chests heaving—and he looked between them as you struggled to catch your breath.

“I meant it when I said I don't take pleasure in hurting you. That’s not something that makes me happy,” he said through uneven breaths.

He slowly pulled his hips back before snapping them against you again, and you gasped. He didn’t take his eyes off of you as he fucked you, carefully watching your face.

“...but I’ll do what I have to. You understand?”

He didn’t give you time to respond.

“I’m smart, and you know it, and I know you know it.”

Your nails dragged along his skin as he thrust into you slowly, taking his time in pushing the length of him into you.

“So if all of this is just you playing at something, then you need to be prepared to play at it for the rest of your life,” he whispered to you, staring into your eyes. “...because you don’t know the things I’ve done to protect you.”

Your wide eyes looked between his at that.

“...and I’ll do worse to keep you.”

[factual-fantasy]

Had this sketch saved for a while, and I finally felt inspired to finish it! Gangle and her cat NPC Bella. :))

When Gangle first came to the circus, she was having a very hard time adjusting.. She wasn't responding well to any of the adventures, she was rather uncooperative and very emotionally fragile. Caine was at a loss with how to help her..

So some of the circus goers got together and helped Caine brainstorm a really mild adventure that Gangle might like. And what they came up with was this really simple and fun puzzle adventure or treasure hunt of some kind. And in this adventure was this fat cat NPC named Bella. (Named after the big bell around her neck XDD Nice one Caine)

Perhaps the goal of the adventure was to help this cat find something..? Her bell? But the point is- this cat was there with Gangle the whole time and acted as a guide of sorts.

Through out this adventure Gangle grew very attached to this cat. Maybe its because she had a cat in her previous life? Maybe even an emotional support cat? Or maybe she just really likes cats- who's to say. What's important is Gangle genuinely liked this adventure and it was the first one she sought through to the end.

When the adventure was over, Gangle didn't want to go back without Bella. And while it was not typically something he allowed.. he let her bring the NPC back to the circus. It was the first time she actually smiled since being here, and Caine was hoping that this cat was the key to helping Gangle adjust to her new life.

Much time has passed since then and Caine has not once regretted his decision. Gangle and Bella are inseparable. And as long as they are together, Gangle is willing to try almost any kind of adventure Caine cooks up for them. :)

[strwberri-milk]

Hii! Can I request LADs men with a reader that’s afraid of needles?

They have to get a shot or their blood taken, but they’re just downright terrified and trying to run away from the doctors.

It's not to say Zayne has no tolerance but the way that he acts around you makes it seem like he's not "entertaining" you. What's actually happening is he's used to people being afraid of needles so he's got a sort of procedure to help make things a little more bearable. He's there with you the entire time, but also isn't opposed to just asking if you want him to inquire about getting an oral sedative to help you sleep if you need a shot for some sort of longer procedure.

Xavier will just hold you down as long as you give him permission to before. He's talking you through the entire thing, trying to keep you calm as he holds you. Thankfully, his touch is reassuring enough that you do find yourself grounded in it to an extent, finding yourself feeling slightly soothed by his hands.

Rafayel wishes he could do something to make things easier for you but he's really not sure how to approach it. He'll try to see if you can do literally anything but get your blood drawn, and is not above paying a boatload of money if he needs to. Whatever it is he can do he'd be more than happy to. What he ends up doing is talking your ear off, making you look at him whenever you seem to get distracted. He keeps his voice level, making it hard for you to determine when the needle actually went in.

Sylus is a mix of all of them. He wants to do anything he can to try and prevent you from getting a needle but tries to use some tactics to distract you from the needle in the first place. If he needs to he's more than happy to hold you in his lap, covering your eyes and whispering soothingly in your ear to calm you down.

[mqrrstarr]

Gladiator Headcanons! (1/?)

How the Characters would act if you: Had A Cold!

Character x GN! Reader

Warnings: s3x implied

Characters Featured: Maximus, Lucilla, Commodus, Acacius, Caracalla, Geta, Lucius, Macrinus (edited: I never actually wrote anything for him but I did now)

A/N: First Tumblr post in a while, and I'm actually writing things too! This is the first time I've written elaborate headcanons, so please forgive if they seem a little off. I apologize for any historical/character innacuracies, and I hope to get better!! xoxo -mqrrstarr

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Maximus would immediately notice something is off. You kept complaining about a headache that didn’t seem to stop, and your temperature was high. 

“Darling, I don’t think you should fight today…”

You could only cough in response, and the guards wouldn’t let you rest. As the day’s challenge was fighting in pairs, he rapidly volunteered to fight with you. Maximus protected you from the other gladiators, and killed them as fast as you could sneeze. By the end of the day, Maximus gave you his blanket and other amenities, ushering you to a more comfier cell. (He had placed a bet with another gladiator.)

“There darling, rest up nice and easy.”

I can also see Maximus getting the other gladiators to create a soup/stew sort of mixture. Not good. But he’s very fatherly, if you can get that?

- - - - - - - -

Lucilla knows everything. After taking care of Lucius as a child, she can rapidly tell when you’re not feeling well.

“Sweetie? Do you feel alright?”

She’d do the mom thing, put her hand on your forehead and try to figure out what was wrong with you. Your head was practically boiling, so she’d get her servants to make tea, lay you in her triclinium and keep you company.

“The servants will prove useful sweetie. You’re a strong warrior, so keep hanging on.”

She’d hum a lullaby, read poetry (the same she’d read to Lucius) and tell stories until you fell asleep. 

- - - - - - - -

Commodus was rarely comforted growing up, so he knew how to handle sickness easily. Growing up semi-independent, he knew homemade tricks and tips to feel better.

“Y/N, are you not feeling well? Just get some herbs and drink an elixir. You’ll be fine.”

He realizes that he sounds a bit harsh, and reminds himself that he never wants to treat you how he was treated; with solitude and no gratitude. Commodus gets you all the snacks and food you want, and even hugs you for as long as you want. 

When you question him after it’s been a whole afternoon of him on your chest, he simply says,

“Y/N, do not question the Emperor. I wish to lay with you, and I do not fear sickness. The Gods can protect one of their own.”

He keeps hugging you and falls asleep, and the next day you’re both coughing and sneezing. 

- - - - - - - -

Acacius has been through so many battles and massacres, yet he’s never truly encountered a cold. The soldiers that cough, are usually dead. Coughing up their own blood, that is. He really doesn’t know how to help you properly, but he’ll try his best.

“Angel, can you tell me what’s wrong? I’m not really sure what to do. Should I get a doctor? Are you feeling a certain way?”

and as he says this, Acacius would use his hands to caress yours, and treat you even more like a princess/prince. He’d lay you in his own bed, and give you massages until you’d feel better. He’d also do a little more if you’d want. Iykyk. You’d fall asleep quickly, and you’d wake up to Acacius either next to you, or on a chair by the bedside and he’d be all sprawled out. His soldier senses would wake him up though.

“Angel? Angel? You’re all right now, that’s wonderful. My lovely Venus, you’re all healed.”

And his words, he would seal with a forehead kiss. GOD HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I NEED PEDRO PASCAL

- - - - - - - -

Caracalla had his own sickness, the one of syphilis. His wild mentality usually was what kept him going, and the love of ruling over Rome. Yet the Emperor cared for his significant other, and refused to let anyone else; even his closest servants touch you.

“My Wife/Husband, the most holiest of them all, I shall take care of you. Please tell me what your most vivid desires are? Allow me to assist you.”

He’s such a sweetheart, and he’d definitely tell you so many stories of him and Geta in their childhood, Roman mythology, and anything to keep you entertained. As he also has mommy and daddy issues, he also do a Commodus-esque move and lay on your chest and probably fall asleep first haha. When the both of you awake, he'd hear your stomach rumble.

“You’re hungry? Well then I shall feed you. Anything for you my love.”

He’d keep you filled with food and him to help your weak state. (CARACALLA COME HOME THE KIDS AND I MISS YOU)

- - - - - - - -

Geta was always stressed.  Getting much more to do as Emperor, as Caracalla had his own “duties” to fulfill. When you started coughing and sneezing as you strolled in the palace garden, he’d send the servants away to prepare a room where you could quarantine. As much as he loved you, he’d refuse to get sick. (Rome needs a healthy representation.) So you’d be alone the first few days with the occasional knock on the door. When you seemed less sick than before, he’d spend all the time with you.

“My love? I’m here for you. The Gods have finally allotted time for our get together. It will be only the finest in Rome for the night; us.”

He’d definitely turn the situation into a fun (fucking) night and then the days after that would be a cycle of laying together, fine dining meals, and caressing. (your bodies, of course.) When he has to return to his Emperor duties, he’ll leave with a long romantic and passionate kiss, one that made your entire body warm.

“Won’t be long. I’ll be back in the night.”

(if you couldn't tell i love the idea of geta as needy all the time)

- - - - - - - -

Lucius knew what it was like to feel sick and tired constantly, so he took care of you. Like a shepherd tending to his favorite sheep. Both of you grand warriors and gladiators, so there was no time to feel bad. He reassured you he could fight without you, and vowed to come back every time.

“Dearest, I promise to return safely. I couldn’t leave my soul with you, it has to be me truly here always. I vow on our love to fight for freedom and the peace of Rome. I will also fight for you.”

You trusted Lucius, (WHO WOULDN’T WITH THOSE BLUE EYES) and he is a man of his word. Day after day, you slowly healed and was able to rejoin Lucius and the others again.

“See? I knew you’d heal. The Gods give power to those who are great. And you are great.”

You fought as usual, but he’d still protect you a little more to ensure you were actually okay. 

- - - - - - - -

Macrinus would see you and get together some gladiators in your presence, hoping they would entertain you and help you ignore the pain.

“Sickness is nothing but temporary Y/N. You can and have the power to move on.”

You’d take his advice and eventually keep doing your work as his assistant, and he’d make sure you were well taken care of.

“Y/N? A true warrior does not dawdle. Good job keeping up with your tasks.”

Surprisingly, you were able to keep up with work and healed faster than expected. (THERE I WROTE FOR MACRINUS)

[ruruumin]

take my body back.

₊˚ ᗢ itoshi rin x childhood friend! fem! reader.

⤷ swapping bodies with isagi was not on his things to do, but loving you is.

this might have been either the worst thing imaginable, or the most humiliating. he is looking at himself in the mirror, eyes twitching. he brings up one hand to pull down the underside of his lower eyelashes. 

after crashing into each other during a practice game, isagi and rin had mysteriously swapped bodies. with stifled laughter from the rest of their team, they had to stay within the same infirmary until things settled down. ego chalked it up to being a very rare malfunction in their suits. while he works on a solution with anri, the two were dismissed from practices all together.

isagi was the more panicky of the two. he was looking at himself frantically in the mirror, shaking bachira by the shoulder in a frenzy. he couldn’t go home. not like this, he kept saying. even though isagi’s wish of being taller and physically stronger, he did not mean he wanted to be in rin’s body.

“what is so wrong with my body?” rin asks, albeit in isagi’s voice, coming off higher pitched and squeakier to his ears. 

“nothing!” isagi instantly shuts his mouth. he raises both of his hands, waving them around as he looks in all sorts of directions. being in the wrong body felt so weird. hearing rin’s voice come off as shy and embarrassed was the last thing on bachira and nagi’s bucket list. and god did they take pleasure out of their torment.

“its just that—how are we supposed to go back to our normal lives like this?” he confesses, scratching the back of his neck, “if i show up to my moms doorstep she’ll get the wrong idea!”

rin blinks slowly, a dull look casting over isagi’s body. “stop making such a big deal out of it. it’ll be fixed soon.” throwing a towel over his shoulder, rin is about to leave the locker rooms (in his body) before isagi reaches out to stop him.

“what about your girlfriend, what is she going to say?”

now this is the unfortunate reality. 

he has no idea how you will react to him going back home in a completely different body. and although you knew isagi in passing, he can’t just show up to your shared apartment like this. its a sick and cruel joke, he thought to himself. rin glances over to isagi with a hardened gaze.

him and his six foot body, long lower eyelashes and scowl are now being flipped inside out and upside down. seeing it as a different person and not just a reflection confuses him on unimaginable levels.

whatever he’s suggests next comes off like acid on his tongue.

.☘︎ ݁˖

you are shocked when you open the door. seeing two men, one of which is your boyfriend, and the other his rival, with opposite expressions. isagi is staring at you with a deep grimace while rin looks happy and relieved to see you. 

“let us in.” isagi, no, rin commands. 

“why is isagi here?” you ask, pressing your lips together as you step to the side. they shuffled out of their shoes, dropping them next to the cubby beside the door. “you should have told me if we were going to have guests over, i would have tidied up a little.”

rin’s eyes scans over your figure. you were wearing a plain t shirt and shorts, your hair was a bit of a frazzled mess, a clear sign that you had just woken up from your nap. he has half a heart to hug you right then and there, but touching you in isagi’s body is going to feel like poison. 

to his horror, you’re by isagi’s side, helping him take off his jacket. rin immediately reaches over to stop you, giving you a deadly glare.

“don’t touch him.” he warns.

this leads you to push him off to the side, frowning. “what are you doing?” in an accusatory tone, you peel off the jacket, “what has gotten into you, isagi? you used to be so polite.” 

“a-ah, well-” isagi bashfully looks away, “the thing is, i’m actually not rin.” 

“huh?”

rin pushes isagi away from you (god forbid he touches you in isagi’s body), huffing as he does so. feeling his chest through isagi’s hands is horrifically gross and he swears he will rip ego in half if he doesn’t find a solution quickly. 

after some short but confusing explanation from isagi, the two of them were seated on the couch while you stood over them. with a hand on your hip, you mumble something underneath your lips, trying to wrap your head around the strange phenomenon. 

“so my boyfriend is in...your body,” you point at rin’s body, dragging it over to isagi, “and you’re in rin’s body.” 

“that’s what we’re trying to tell you.” 

you flick rin’s forehead, causing him to deliver a sharp exhale, “this is your fault for not being more careful during practice matches. what happened to taking care of yourself? did it go in one ear and out the other?”

“of course not,” he huffs, brushing through his hair but noticing how much shorter it is now that he isn’t in his actual body. 

“this idiot over here was the one who got the yellow card.” 

“huh?”

isagi shoves a finger at rin, “you’re the one who rammed into me!” 

“can it!” 

the two of them start to bicker with one another. as serious as a head injury might be, you’re honestly flabbergasted seeing them together like this. it almost cracks a smile on your face when you see rin’s body soften. but you awkwardly clear your throat, breaking up the argument with a sigh.

“do you need a place to stay for the night?” you turn to isagi, “we can give you the couch to sleep on if you’re not comfortable going home right now. i think its the least i can do since rin has been so much trouble for you.”

before the man could protest at your words, isagi beamed with happiness and relief, “that would be great (name). i don’t want to overstay my welcome so i’ll leave tomorrow morning to see ego.”

“i can’t believe my rin rin can look this peaceful,” you say, swooning a little bit. 

“shut up,” rin claps a hand over your mouth, “all this nonsense is making me tired.” 

despite his harsh and seemingly cold words, you can read him too easily. the subtle touch on your shoulder is enough for you to decipher his wants, and what he wants right now is to unravel in your arms.

placing a hand on his lower bicep, you guide him into your shared bedroom, not before waving to isagi to tell him that you will fetch a warm blanket later. he nods and gives you few kind words. it makes you want to laugh at how obvious it was that they swapped bodies. rin can be polite to you, but never this polite. it makes the situation all the more entertaining when you feel your boyfriend drag you into your rooms.

away from isagi’s prying eyes, he is leaning his head against your shoulder, slowly exhaling. his chest moves up and down, shoulders racking down with shivers. you bring up one hand to pat him on the back, pulling him down from cloud nine. anymore of your warmth and he thinks he is about to sink into you. he has to hold back the urge to squeeze you because the body he is in is not his. 

its killing him inside how he wants to love you. 

you, his childhood friend and biggest fan, his light and first (possibly only) love. standing so cute and comfortable in front of him with eyes so warm it could melt his cold, popsicle-self into a pool of sticky wetness. he doesn’t mind that you aren’t dressed up. he thinks its even better, seeing you like this.

he doesn’t like how much shorter he is now. he used to be able to press a kiss on the top of your head with ease. now he’s...fun-sized, as he would put it. he lacks the arm muscles hes so used to having. he doesn’t have the confident suave he was born with (something you’ve always told was a birthright of the itoshi family).

it could have been worse, he tells himself. imagine he swapped bodies with igaguri or shidou. he would have thrown himself into the nearest river if he had to come home to you in shidou’s body. the thought alone makes him want to gag.

but with you in his arms, it makes his heart grow bigger. like the christmas grinch, he has finally found his happiness and the whimsical joys that come from being your boyfriend. its seriously killing him inside, he wants to kiss you with his own lips, hold you with his own arms, and carry you off into the distance in his body. 

you wipe away a string of tears that dribble down his cheek. he didn’t realize he was crying until he heard your gentle whispers. even though he no longer looks like sae, he misses his own body. he yearns to see the scowl on his face that he has grown to slowly love, only because you kept pressing kisses to his cheeks and dimples. he wants to see his hands on your hips, lifting you off the ground and onto the kitchen counters to hold you even closer to his chest, to kiss you at the same height.

he didn’t realize how much he has taken for granted until he was in someone else’s shoes. 

when you brush his, or isagi’s hair, he just wishes he could turn back the clock and kiss you stupid. steal the air from your lungs that he swore belongs to him, and him only. 

that night might have been the most strangest yet sweetest experience in the world. with isagi taking the couch and you and rin sleeping on the ground next to him (he didn’t want to sleep in an empty bed without you, and vise versa, he promises he wouldn’t let you be alone as long as he was here). 

hes holding onto your hand with his pinky, a subtle touch that sends warmth down his spine. even in a different body, you still love him.

and he loves you, so much that it hurts.

[darksturnz]

BETWEEN THE CRACKS

CONTENTS:・teeth rotting fluff-heavy plot (again..) ・star!reader ・mild language ・mentions of death/hospitals・artist!chris ・mild language + more WC: 3.6k

slightly a part two to this, and once again, highly recommend you listen to this on repeat as that’s what i did.

The first rays of sunlight filtered through the thin curtains, painting faint streaks of gold across the small, cluttered room. Star stirred, her body caught between the pull of sleep and the growing awareness of something unfamiliar. Warmth.

Her eyes fluttered open, her breath catching as she realized she wasn’t alone. Chris’s arm was slung loosely around her waist, his hand resting on the fabric of her shirt like a promise he hadn’t meant to make. His face was inches from hers, his expression uncharacteristically peaceful in sleep, the usual tension smoothed from his features.

For a moment, she froze, her heart pounding in her chest. She’d spent years perfecting the art of keeping people at arm’s length, of never letting anyone close enough to see the cracks beneath the surface— besides madison of course. And yet, here she was, tangled up with Chris Sturniolo of all people—the guarded, gruff boy who never smiled, never laughed, and yet somehow felt safer than anyone she’d ever known.

Her gaze flicked over his face, taking in the faint scar along his jawline, the way his dark lashes rested against his cheekbones. He looked softer like this. Human, even. It was a stark contrast to the sharp edges he usually wore like armor.

She swallowed hard, unsure of what to do. The rational part of her wanted to slip away, to put distance between them before he woke and they had to confront whatever this was. But the softer, quieter part of her—the part she tried so hard to ignore—didn’t want to move.

Her hand rested against his chest, and she could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips. It was grounding, in a way, and terrifying all at once.

Chris shifted slightly in his sleep, his arm tightening around her for just a moment before his eyes opened.

Star froze again, her breath hitching as his gaze met hers. For a split second, there was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes, a glimpse of something raw and unguarded. But it was gone just as quickly, replaced by a sort of quiet confusion.

“Morning,” he muttered, his voice rough and low from sleep.

Star blinked, the sound of his voice snapping her out of whatever trance she’d been in. “Morning,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Neither of them moved. The silence between them felt heavy, but not uncomfortable—more like the weight of something unspoken, something fragile.

Chris glanced down at her hand still resting against his chest, his brows furrowing slightly. A faint, almost self-deprecating smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Didn’t mean to, uh, hold you captive,” he said, his voice gruff but tinged with awkward humor.

Star felt her cheeks flush, but she didn’t pull away. A ghost of a smile flickered across her lips. “You didn’t,” she murmured, her voice quieter than she meant it to be. “I didn’t mind.”

That quiet admission settled between them like a secret, one neither of them was ready to unpack.

Chris finally shifted, breaking the silence but not the closeness entirely. “m’gonna make coffee,” he muttered, his voice softer now, as if the moment had chipped away some of his usual defenses.

Star stayed where she was, staring up at the ceiling as the sound of his footsteps retreated into the kitchen. Her chest felt tight, her thoughts swirling with feelings she wasn’t ready to name.

This was dangerous. She knew that. Letting someone in, even a little, was a risk she couldn’t afford to take. And yet, as she traced her fingers over the wrinkle in the sheet where Chris had been, she couldn’t help but feel the faintest flicker of something that felt an awful lot like hope.

The coffee maker sputtered weakly, its rhythmic bubbling filling the small trailer as Chris leaned against the counter, staring blankly at the chipped mug in his hand. He wasn’t sure why he’d said what he had back in the room. Didn’t mean to hold you captive. It wasn’t like him to really joke—at least not in a situation like that.

But Star did something to him. Slowly, without permission, she had slipped past all the defenses he’d spent years building. He didn’t know how to navigate it, the strange pull he felt toward her. It was terrifying. Maddening. But when he heard her footsteps padding softly into the kitchen, a part of him—the part he didn’t like to acknowledge—felt calmer.

Star lingered in the doorway, watching him. The faint smile she’d worn earlier had faded, replaced by something quieter, more thoughtful. “You okay?” she asked, her voice soft.

Chris turned his head, meeting her eyes. There was a vulnerability in her question, like she wasn’t just asking about him but testing the waters to see if it was okay for her to stay. He nodded once, setting the mug down. “Yeah. You want some?” He gestured to the coffee maker.

She shook her head. “I’m good.”

The moment stretched between them, warm and unspoken. Chris cleared his throat, turning back to the counter. “Lila should be up soon,” he said, his voice gruff again.

“Right,” Star murmured. She hesitated before stepping closer, leaning against the opposite side of the counter. “Do you think she’ll want pancakes?”

Chris raised an eyebrow, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “She always wants pancakes.”

Star chuckled softly, and the sound did something to him—something he didn’t have words for.

Lila emerged a little while later, her brown curls a tangled mess and her eyes puffy with sleep. She dragged her blanket behind her like a cape, rubbing at her face as she padded into the kitchen.

“Morning, Bug,” Chris said, his tone softer now.

Lila mumbled something incomprehensible, then perked up when she saw Star standing by the stove. “Star!” she exclaimed, her voice brightening.

Star turned, crouching slightly to meet Lila’s excited gaze. “Morning, Lil.”

Lila giggled, abandoning her blanket to run over and wrap her arms around Star’s legs. “Are you making pancakes?”

Chris smirked from his spot by the counter. “Told you.”

Star rolled her eyes at him before turning her attention back to Lila. “Only if you promise to help me flip them.”

Lila gasped, nodding vigorously. “I’m the best flipper!”

Chris chuckled, the sound low and brief, but it made Star’s chest feel strangely warm. She caught his eye for a moment, and something passed between them—a silent acknowledgment of how natural this felt.

After breakfast, the three of them settled into their usual rhythm. Lila spent time coloring on the living room floor while Chris worked on a sketch at the small table near the window. Star watched them from her spot on the couch, feeling an odd sense of belonging she hadn’t felt in years.

It was Lila who broke the comfortable silence. She climbed into Chris’s lap, her coloring book in hand. “Can we go see Mommy today?” she asked softly, looking up at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

Chris set his pencil down, his expression softening. “Yeah, Bug. We can go.”

Lila hesitated, twisting a curl around her finger. “Can Star come too?”

Chris blinked, caught off guard by the request. His eyes flicked to Star, who sat very still, her gaze carefully neutral. He hadn’t expected Lila to ask, and he wasn’t sure if Star would even want to go.

Star hesitated, her stomach twisting. The last time she’d been in a hospital, her mother had died. Just the thought of stepping into those sterile halls again made her chest tighten.

But then Lila turned to her, her wide eyes filled with hope. “Please, Star? Mommy would like you,” she said softly.

Chris didn’t say anything, but he watched Star closely, his brow furrowed as if he was trying to figure her out.

Star exhaled shakily, forcing a small smile. “Yeah,” she said finally. “I’ll come.”

The hospital was as stark and sterile as Star had expected. Every step inside felt heavier than the last, memories pressing down on her chest like a weight she couldn’t shake. She kept her gaze fixed on Lila, who walked ahead with her small hand clasped in Chris’s.

When they reached Evelyn’s room, Star hesitated just outside the door. She could hear the steady hum of machines, the faint murmur of voices, and her heart began to race.

“You okay?” Chris’s voice broke through her spiraling thoughts.

She glanced at him, nodding quickly. “Yeah.”

Chris studied her for a moment, his expression unreadable, before pushing the door open.

Lila ran ahead, her voice bright. “Mommy!”

The woman lying in the bed was pale and frail, her breathing shallow as she smiled weakly at her daughter. Star lingered by the door, unsure of where to stand or what to do.

“Hi, sweet girl,” Evelyn murmured, her voice thin but warm.

Chris crossed the room to stand by her bedside, his hand resting lightly on Lila’s shoulder. He glanced back at Star, his gaze expectant.

Star swallowed hard and stepped forward, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. “Hi,” she said softly, her voice trembling just enough for Chris to notice. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Evelyn’s eyes flicked to Chris, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. “You must be Star,” she said. “Lila talks about you all the time.”

Star blinked, surprised. “She does?”

Lila nodded enthusiastically. “Uh-huh! I told Mommy how you make pancakes and how you help me with my drawings.”

Star felt her cheeks flush, but she smiled. “Well, you’re a pretty great artist, Lil.”

Evelyn chuckled softly, the sound weak but genuine. “You’re very sweet,” she said, her eyes lingering on Star for a moment before shifting to Chris.

Chris stayed quiet, his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, but his gaze was fixed on Star. He watched the way she interacted with his mom—how gentle and respectful she was, how she seemed to genuinely care. She didn’t notice Chris watching her, but he couldn’t look away. There was something about the way she fit into this moment, into his life, that scared him and comforted him all at once.

Star sat on the edge of the chair near Evelyn’s bedside, her posture tentative but open. She folded her hands tightly in her lap, unsure if she should lean closer or stay where she was. The machines hooked up to Evelyn hummed softly in the background, their rhythmic beeping both comforting and unsettling.

Lila was perched at the foot of the hospital bed, her sketchbook open as she chattered away about her latest masterpiece. Star leaned in to admire it when Lila held it up, a messy swirl of crayons resembling what Lila insisted was a butterfly.

“It’s beautiful,” Star said softly, smiling at the little girl.

“It’s for Mommy,” Lila announced proudly.

Chris shifted by the wall, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You better get it framed, Mom. Bug’s a professional now.”

Evelyn laughed quietly, her gaze flicking from Lila to Chris. “I might just do that,” she murmured. Her voice was tired, but there was something about the way she looked at her son—pride mingled with sadness.

Star could feel it—the heaviness in the air, the weight Chris carried every time he walked into this room. She glanced at him briefly, catching the way his jaw clenched, his fingers twitching at his sides as if he wanted to do more but couldn’t.

After a while, Lila climbed into the chair on Star’s lap, distracted by her coloring book. Evelyn turned her attention to Star, her soft gaze curious but kind.

“So, y/n,” Evelyn began, her voice gentle, “how long have you been putting up with my son?”

Star blinked, caught off guard by the question. She glanced at Chris, who rolled his eyes but didn’t protest.

“Um… a few months now,” Star replied, a small, nervous smile tugging at her lips. “He doesn’t make it too hard.”

Evelyn chuckled, though it quickly turned into a cough. Chris straightened, his brow furrowing as he stepped closer to the bed. “Mom,” he said quietly, his voice edged with concern.

“I’m fine,” Evelyn assured him, waving a weak hand. She turned back to Star, her expression softening. “It’s good he has someone around. Lila talks about you like your family.”

Star froze, her chest tightening. Family. The word felt foreign, like something she couldn’t quite hold onto. She forced a small laugh, brushing her hair behind her ear. “Lila’s easy to love,” she said, her voice quieter now.

Chris caught that—the slight tremor in her voice, the way her eyes shifted down to her hands. He didn’t say anything, but he stayed close, his presence steady even if his words weren’t.

As Star talked with Evelyn, Chris found himself studying her. She was nervous—he could tell by the way her fingers twisted the hem of her hoodie, the way her shoulders tensed every time Evelyn asked her a question. But she didn’t shy away.

She met his mom’s gaze, listened intently, and responded with a quiet respect that wasn’t forced. Chris wasn’t used to that. Most people tiptoed around his mom, either out of pity or discomfort. But Star just… was.

And it was the way she was with Lila that got to him the most. She didn’t treat her like a kid to be humored but like someone worth listening to, worth spending time with. It reminded him of how his mom used to be before the illness took so much from her.

That feeling in his gut—the one that twisted and ached every time Star was around—was back. He didn’t know what to do with it, so he shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall, trying to look indifferent.

When it was time to leave, Evelyn hugged Lila as tightly as her strength would allow, kissing her forehead and whispering something that made Lila giggle. Chris bent down to press a quick kiss to his mom’s cheek, murmuring something Star couldn’t hear.

As they walked out of the room, Star lingered for a moment, glancing back at Evelyn. The older woman smiled at her, her gaze warm but knowing, as if she could see straight through Star’s guarded walls.

“You’re good for them,” Evelyn said softly.

Star felt her cheeks flush. “They’re good for me,” she murmured with a soft smile before turning to follow Chris and Lila.

The walk back to the car was quiet. Lila held Chris’s hand, skipping slightly as she hummed a tune Star didn’t recognize. Chris opened the passenger door for Star without a word, his hand brushing hers briefly as she climbed in.

The car ride back was quieter than usual. Lila dozed off in the backseat, her head lolling against the window, her sketchbook clutched tightly in her lap.

Star stared out the window, her thoughts swirling. The hospital had stirred up memories she hadn’t wanted to face, but it had also given her something unexpected—connection. She glanced at Chris, his profile sharp and focused as he drove.

“Your mom’s really kind,” she said softly, breaking the silence.

Chris’s grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly, but his voice was even when he replied. “Yeah. She is.”

Star hesitated, her fingers playing with the frayed hem of her jeans. “Thanks for letting me come,” she said quietly.

Chris glanced at her briefly, his expression unreadable. “She liked you,” he said simply. “Kinda knew she would.”

Star’s chest tightened at the admission. She wanted to say more, to ask what he meant, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she rested her hand lightly on the console between them, her fingers brushing his briefly.

Chris didn’t pull away.

The trailer was quiet when they got back. Chris carried Lila inside, her small body heavy with sleep as her head lolled against his shoulder. Star followed, closing the door softly behind her. The familiar warmth of the space wrapped around her, a stark contrast to the sterile chill of the hospital.

Chris gently laid Lila on her bed, brushing her curls back from her face. She stirred slightly, murmuring something incoherent before curling into the blankets. Star hovered near the door, unsure if she should help or stay out of the way, but Chris glanced back at her.

“Can you grab Bug’s stuffed bunny? s’over by the couch,” he said quietly.

Star nodded, moving to retrieve the well-loved bunny that Lila never slept without. When she handed it to Chris, their fingers brushed, and she caught the faintest flicker of a smile on his lips.

Chris tucked the bunny into Lila’s arms and adjusted the blanket over her shoulders. “Night, Bug,” he murmured.

“’Night,” Lila mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.

Star watched from the doorway, her heart twisting at the tenderness in Chris’s actions. He moved so easily between his rough edges and these softer moments, and she felt a pang of something she couldn’t quite name.

When Lila was settled, Chris turned off the light, leaving the door slightly ajar. He stepped into the hallway, his gaze meeting Star’s briefly before he nodded toward the porch.

“C’mon,” he said, his voice low.

The air outside was crisp but not cold, the faint scent of pine and earth lingering in the night. Star leaned against the wooden railing, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked out at the dark expanse beyond the trailer park.

Chris stood beside her, close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from him. For a moment, neither of them spoke, the quiet settling around them like a blanket.

“You okay?” he asked finally, his voice soft.

Star hesitated, her fingers tightening around the edge of the railing. “Yeah,” she said, though the word felt heavy in her mouth.

Chris didn’t push, but his gaze lingered on her profile, studying the way her jaw tensed, the way her eyes stayed fixed on the horizon as if she was afraid to meet his.

After a long pause, Star exhaled shakily, the words falling from her mouth before she could stop them. “The hospital…” she began, her voice barely above a whisper. “It brought back some things.”

Chris stayed quiet, giving her the space to continue.

“My mom died in a car accident,” Star said, her voice trembling slightly. “She was trying to bring me an essay I’d left at home. She knew how much it meant to me, and she…” Her voice broke, and she swallowed hard, blinking against the sting in her eyes. “She didn’t make it to the school. A drunk driver hit her on the way.”

Chris’s chest tightened. He hadn’t expected this—hadn’t realized the weight she was carrying every time she stepped into his home, into his life.

“I haven’t been back to a hospital since,” Star admitted, her voice quieter now. “I couldn’t. Until today.”

Chris’s hand twitched at his side, and before he could think better of it, he reached out, his fingers brushing hers. “I didn’t know,” he said softly.

She looked down at their hands, her lips pressing into a faint, sad smile. “It’s not something I talk about, I hear about it enough from my dad” she murmured. “But… being here, with you and Lila—it’s different. Your place feels safe. And I don’t have a lot of that in my life.”

Chris’s throat felt tight. He wasn’t good at this—at knowing the right things to say. But he couldn’t ignore the pull in his chest, the way her words settled deep inside him.

“You’re always welcome here,” he said quietly.

Star turned to face him fully, her eyes searching his. The vulnerability in her gaze made his heart ache.

“Chris…” she began, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what I’d do without this. Without Lila. Without you.”

His breath caught, and for a moment, he didn’t move. But then, before he could talk himself out of it, he stepped closer, his hand brushing against her cheek.

“y/n,” he murmured, his voice rough but gentle. “If I kissed you right now, would you stop me?”

Her lips parted slightly, her breath hitching. For a moment, she didn’t answer, the weight of the question settling between them. Then, she shook her head, her voice soft but steady.

“I’d really, really like it if you kissed me.”

Chris’s chest tightened, and he didn’t hesitate this time. He closed the small distance between them, his lips brushing hers in a kiss that was as much a confession as it was a promise.

Star’s hands found their way to his chest, gripping his shirt lightly as she leaned into him. The kiss was slow, tentative at first, but it deepened as the weight of their unspoken feelings spilled over.

When they finally broke apart, Chris rested his forehead against hers, his breath warm against her skin.

“You scare the hell out of me,” he admitted quietly.

Star laughed softly, her hands still pressed against his chest. “You’re not exactly the safest thing either.”

Chris’s lips twitched into the faintest hint of a smile, and for once, he didn’t try to hide it.

“You should stay,” he said softly. It wasn’t a question.

Star nodded, her voice barely audible. “Okay.”

Chris exhaled, his shoulders relaxing as he stepped back, holding the door open for her.

Star followed him inside, her heart still racing.

Maybe this was dangerous. Maybe it would hurt later.

But for now, it felt safe.

AUTHORS NOTE: the “i’d really really like it if you kissed me” line was sooo ib something @bernardsbendystraws responded to an ask to. i seen it on my feed and it literally screamed star & chris idk! anywho they kissed, fr this time and this has opened so many doors to potential blurbs, you’re getting fed.

TAG LIST: @jetaimevous @sturnsblunt @riasturns @ifwdominicfike @chrissturns-wife @mattsmunch @pip4444chris @ribread03 @ariestrxsh @angelic-sturniolos111 @pvssychicken @mattslolita @stvrnzcherries @dottieboo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @bluestriips @sturniolo-fann @coquettechris

[revelboo]

I love Everything Is Alright sm and GOD i feel so bad for Megatron in such a specific way. Imagine you're in charge of a group of astronauts and they keep running off to go fuck the alien fauna, like bestie I'd be losing my shit too.

That’s pretty much what’s going on. 🤣 Poor guy is having a breakdown over all of his followers being deviants. I feel almost bad about how much fun I’m having in traumatizing Megatron- I swear I really do like him. I just also love making it worse. 18+ content

Everything Is Alright Pt 92

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• Choosing to ignore the furious Seeker, Megatron turns his attention to Soundwave and curls a lip. “For Primus’s sake, cover yourself,” he growls. Hand lifting to run over his face, he gestures at Starscream. Hears the Seeker actually hiss at him, wings flared and he ignores that, too. “That isn’t a pet.” Or maybe you are. A pet they frag. It’s not like this mess can get any worse. “Are both of you bonded to it?”

• It?! Spike still buried inside you, he’s aware of your little hands clinging to him. Of your fear and the way the bond amplifies it. “Keep away from my sparkmate,” he snarls. Stiffening as Megatron turns his stare on him, those cruel optics narrowing in calculation. Trying to figure out how to use you against him. To hurt him. Spark aching when you hide your face against his neck. Painfully aware of how fragile you are and that his frame is all that’s shielding you from Megatron’s anger. So it’s a surprise when Soundwave stands and moves between him and Megatron.

• “My sparkmate,” Soundwave says, hating the lie even as he makes the claim. Knows it’s necessary, though. Because if you only belong to Starscream, you’re as expendable as he is. Aware of Megatron’s dislike for the Seeker and that it isn’t wholly unwarranted. Starscream’s deliberately invoked his wrath so many times with so many plots and schemes. So Soundwave lies to keep you safe. And because he wants that, wants to keep you, hold you in his arms. If keeping the self destructive SIC on a leash is the cost, he’s willing to pay it for you.

• Why does it have to be like this? Holding onto Starscream as Soundwave lies to their leader, you just wish suddenly there was somewhere you could run away to with them both. Just the three of you. But you know how incredibly selfish the thought is as soon as you have it. To ask them to leave everything they know just for you? Star’s spark is still connected to you, tendrils of energy snaring you like he’s trying to hold onto you despite the threat looming over him. The feel of him wrapped around you helping calm the terror, because in his arms you want to believe it’ll be okay as foolish as it is. That feeling of safety singing through you despite the danger.

• “Of course, it is,” Megatron mutters. Two of his commanding officers both sparkbonded to an organic alien. The same alien. Why not? It’s not an epidemic of xenophilia, it’s an epidemic of insanity. “I understand having impulses, but this?” Sees Soundwave stiffen slightly as he gestures at Starscream and the human. His communications officer at least having the decency to look slightly embarrassed about it, the Seeker still glaring and defiant. “You understand that just because you’re fragging it, doesn’t mean it changes anything. You’ll bring me the… pet before reporting to your duties.” And he can try to figure out what you’ve done to both of them. Some sort of pheromones? The interfacing can’t just be that good. So, it must be something you’re doing- some strange human mind control making his Decepticons all crazy. And Shockwave can figure it out since Hook is also compromised now.

• “You think I’m going to hand over my mate?” Starscream snarls, ignoring the warning look Soundwave shoots him. So furious he’s shaking as Megatron stares him down. Not again. Please. He can’t just give you to that sadist. Before Megatron had only thought you were a pet, but now that he knows you matter? Knows what you are to him? Tries to lift up, intending to fight and you cling to him. Hook a leg over his hip. Hears your frightened, little ‘don’t, please’ and his spark hurts with it. Because he’s still connected to you, can feel that fear isn’t for yourself it’s for him. And it tears through him, the unfairness of all of it. That he can’t just have this one thing, the only thing that really matters. “You’re not invincible,” he growls at Megatron, not carrying if the warlord hears the threat there. Because to protect his mate? He’ll burn the world down around him.

Previous

[thollandsgirl2013]

𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫

Parings → Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings → fluff

Summary → Peter ate all your cookies and now you're giving him the silent treatment.

(gif not mine)

Peter sat on your bed, fidgeting nervously with the sleeves of his hoodie, watching as you ignored him, flipping through your book without even sparing him a glance. His curly hair was a mess, and his puppy dog eyes—usually your weakness—were locked on you, filled with guilt. You had to stay strong this time.

“I didn’t mean to eat all of them,” Peter mumbled, his voice soft and pleading. "I thought I’d just have one or two, but they were so good... I’m sorry, babe. Please don’t be mad."

You continued to act as if he wasn’t there, even though it was taking all your strength to ignore how adorable he looked, especially when he was in full puppy mode.

"Y/n/n..." he whined, dragging your name out, leaning forward on your shared bed like a sad puppy who’d been denied a treat. “You know how much I love your mom’s cookies! They’re like...the best thing ever! But I didn’t mean to finish them all. I just—got carried away…”

You shot him a glare but still didn’t speak. Peter dramatically flopped onto the bed, laying on his stomach as he stretched his arm toward you, fingertips barely grazing your knee.

“Please,” he whispered dramatically. “Forgive me. I’ll do anything. I’ll...buy more cookies. I’ll even bake some myself! They won’t be as good, but I’ll try. You love me, right? You can't stay mad at me forever!”

You turned the page of your book, deliberately keeping your expression neutral, though the corner of your lips twitched upward. Peter noticed and immediately perked up, crawling closer to you on the bed.

“Aha! I saw that smile! You can’t resist me!” He said, grinning now, as if he had won some sort of victory. “C’mon, baby. You don’t wanna be mad at your adorable, superhero boyfriend, right?”

You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, trying to hide your smile. “You ate all of them, Peter.”

“I know! I know! But I can make it up to you,” he said, moving to sit cross-legged in front of you, holding your hand gently. “I’ll do whatever you want. Seriously. Cookies, foot rubs, swinging you around the city...name it, and it’s yours.”

He pouted, his eyes wide and glistening. “Please, Y/n. I hate when you’re mad at me.”

You finally sighed, shutting your textbook and crossing your arms, trying to keep a stern face. “You really ate every single one.”

Peter nodded guiltily. “Every. Single. One.”

“...And you didn’t even save me one.”

“I—yeah, I know,” Peter winced. “But...I’ll never do it again! I promise! Just...please don’t give me the silent treatment. It’s torture.”

After a long, dramatic pause, you let out a breath. “Fine. But only because you promised. And next time? You better save me at least one.”

Peter immediately grinned, wrapping his arms around you. “Deal! I promise, I’ll never steal your cookies again. You’re the best!”

As he hugged you tightly, you couldn’t help but laugh, finally giving in to his relentless charm.

‎∗ ࣪ ˖༺ 𓆩☆𓆪 ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

But I'm not much of anything (but you're everything to me)

let me wrap my teeth around the world - series masterlist here

pairing: sirius black x reader (gender neutral), implied poly marauders x reader

length: 1.8k

genre: fluff, kinda angsty, hurt/comfort

warnings: winter break angst I suppose, you're so young you don't have to be everything you want yet, you have time you learn and you grow and you become blah blah blah lol

a/n: me ?? posting a fic ?? wooow wowow anyway this is in the poly marauders series but it can totally be read stand alone

"I brought you your jacket." Your voice is quiet as it floats through the crisp night air, the sound hushed as Sirius cranes his head around to see you slipping through the back door and shutting it gently behind you. 

"You didn't need to do that."

"It's cold out here," you point out. There's a sort of familiarity that Sirius can't help but find some level of comfort in when he shrugs the heavy jacket on, the dark shine of the leather stark against the pale skin of his neck.

"What are you doing out here, anyway?" he asks a bit sullenly, wincing and brushing a stray hair out of your face as if to make up for his bluntness. But you just wrinkle your nose and lean against the porch railing, looking out toward the rolling white lawn of James's family home.

"Oh," you shrug lightly. "Just needed some fresh air." Sirius fixes you with a stare at your words, though, and you smile a bit sheepishly. "James pulled out the board games," you admit. "I was looking for an escape."

"Oh, so that's all I am to you?" Sirius quips, but the softness in your returning smile catches him a bit too off guard and he feels his heart thump rather painfully in his chest.

"No," you respond sweetly. "If all I was looking for was a quick exit, I would've gone for climbing out the window. I'm out here for you, I'm afraid."

"How awful of me, then," he jokes weakly, and you look at him like it's the funniest thing you've heard all day. Sirius clenches his fists where he leans on the railing, letting the rings that adorn his fingers pinch his skin and press against his palms as he looks out into the night. You're standing close enough that he can feel your arm brushing against his - close enough that he feels something that seems strangely like love rolling off of you in waves.

"What are you doing out here?" He says it again, like a whisper, like a plea that he knows will be unheard. You look at him steadily as he shakes and you smile and he kind of wishes you really had climbed out the window instead of coming after him. Just for a moment. Just for a second, before the guilt sets in and he -

"Remus, uh, he said that you…"

"Had a breakdown?"

"No," you respond easily. "He didn't quite put it like that."

"But you get the idea," Sirius huffs. You lean closer to knock your shoulder against his.

"I do, baby," you offer gently. "I do."

Somewhere inside, James's boisterous laugh can be heard as Remus swears and shouts something about how cheating ruins the game. Sirius's fists clench tight enough that his knuckles whiten and you tap a nail against the wooden railing in thought. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" you ask lightly. Then you watch the muscles in his jaw flex as he clenches his teeth.

"Is there anything to talk about?"

"Mhm," you nod. "Usually a bit more than you think." He sighs at that, a defeated sort of thing as he slumps down just a bit, sinking into the warmth of his jacket as a wicked winter wind blows through. 

"I just really thought, for a little bit - I guess I really believed I'd be someone someday." He whispers it like a prayer, like a confession before some sort of altar. You answer like he's the one who should be prayed to.

"You are someone."

"No - but… you know what I mean, yea?"

"I do," you concede, sighing a bit. "I - I really do." The words come out in a sort of rush as you say them, tumbling out of you and into the frozen air as Sirius shoots you a peculiar look.

"I don't know how you do it, love," he admits in that slow, low timbre of his. You perk up a bit and glance over to him with your brows raised.

"Do what?"

"What… what I never could." You're still looking at him, he's sure, but he's avoiding your gaze in the wake of his confession, tipping his head back to stare up at the endless stars, instead. 

"Oh, Sirius, I -" You cut yourself off with a laugh and it's a hollow, pitchy sort of thing - off and different and wholly unnatural coming from you. It makes him snap his gaze back down to look at you and when he sees the tremble in your face he wonders, not for the first time, how he manages to fuck it all up so often. 

But then you smile at him like the stars shine down on the two of you because he hung them there. You smile and you look up, yourself, into the endless vastness.

"I'm not, uh… well, I'm not really much of anything these days," you admit quietly, the words halting and slow as they leave you.

"That's bullshit, babe," Sirius responds, the words tugged from him as soon as he hears the tremor in your voice. "You're everything."

"Aw, see how easy it is?" you sigh, leaning back and hanging onto the railing as your voice wavers just a touch. 

"What?" Sirius asks quietly - because he knows, he thinks. He's knows what's going on.

"How easy it is to see yourself in someone else," you clarify. It makes him frown, makes his brows bunch together as he stares down at you. More wind blows through, the beginnings of snowy flurries fluttering through the air and makes you shiver, your sweater doing little to protect you from the incoming storm.

"You should've brought your own jacket out here," Sirius huffs, pointedly derailing the conversation as he shrugs off his own dark leather to drape it over your shoulders.

"I only had time to grab one," you murmur in response as you let him manhandle you into his jacket, the weight of it settling heavily on yout shoulders as you curl your hands into the too-long sleeves.

"What's that thing you always say?" Sirius mumbles as he smooths his hands down your arms, his fingers cold against the fabric. "Something about putting your own oxygen mask on first?"

"Aw," you tease, turning to lean against the railing again and bump your shoulder against him. "But then how would I get you to look after me, huh?"

It's a joke, of course - Sirius knows it's a joke, recognizes the quip in your words. But he can't help himself. He grabs onto your shoulders gently and spins you around to face him once more, his face sombre and lips pressed together as he tilts his head down to look you in the eye. 

"I'll always look after you," he says sternly. "You know that, right? Always, I - you deserve that much, you know? You deserve to have someone find you out in the cold and give you a jacket."

There's a strange quality in your returning smile as you listen to him speak and Sirius, somewhere distant and safe, gets the feeling that you know something that he doesn't.

"I know you do," you say sweetly when he's done his rambling, and the words make a frown tug further on his face as he shakes your shoulders ever so gently.

"Not me," he clarifies sternly. "You - you deserve it. We're talking about you." But then there's that smile from you again, sweet and loving and shining up at him like he's the only warmth you need. It makes him stumble, just a bit, makes him lose his footing as he looks down at you in his jacket, the necklace he gave you last year shining against your neck and the hickey that he'd given you yesterday just barely hidden under your hair.

He lets go of you - he can't help it. He lets go of you and takes a step back to cross his arms over his chest, instead, like he's curling into himself somehow.

"What do you think?" you muse quietly. "Do I look like you?" Sirius thinks, for a queasy sort of moment, that you sort of do. 

"No," he says shortly, the irritation in his voice so surface-level and fake that you grin a bit. "You look like you."

"Well," you say easily as you rock back on your heels a bit and your grin widens. "I'll take that, I suppose."

"You should," he quips back, shivering as the wind blows through and a golden warmth filters onto the two of you as someone turns on another light inside. "What a thing to be, hm?"

"Aw," you tease, but you lean up on your toes and grip onto Sirius's shoulders as you tilt your head to look at him. "You love me, huh?"

"Against my better judgement, yes," Sirius murmurs back, smoothing a hand over your lower back as he leans down to press his lips against yours. It's familiar by now, the feeling of you pressed against him. He knows the shape of you and the feel of your warmth radiating into him. He knows the way that your lips move against his and the way you smile into the kiss. He knows the way that this love feels, he realizes, and it makes him tangle a hand into your hair and tug ever so gently as he nips at your lower lip.

"The others will start to feel left out if we stay out here for too long," you murmur quietly, your lips brushing against Sirius's as he chases after you.

"Just a few more minutes."

"You'll also freeze to death," you point out. That makes him laugh, makes him tilt his head back and look up at the stars and feel how close they are between the two of you. You smooth a hand over his chest as he looks up, placing your palm against his shirt to feel the steady thump of his heart under his skin. And how odd, you think, to feel it beat like that for you. 

"Thanks, sweet thing," Sirius says eventually, his voice quiet as he moves slowly to look down at you once more.

"For what?" you ask simply. The kiss that he presses against your nose is so gentle you almost don't feel it. But you always feel Sirius. You always know where he is.

"For coming out into the cold for me," he says quietly, and if his voice wavers and cracks, you take no notice. "For - for bringing me something warm."

"It's a nice jacket," you respond easily, but your fingers thump against his chest as you echo the beating rhythm of his heart. "It deserves to be worn."

"Yea," Sirius sighs, his shoulders, he finds, lifting a bit with a lightness that's so difficult to find in the dark. "It is a nice jacket."

[beuxwhoyouare]

Getting Away with It

I almost got away with it. Truthfully, I didn't even know I would go as far as taking him out. But I mean he had it coming, I heard all the horrible things he had done that I could hear through the penthouse walls in the building I worked in. All the times he'd abuse a partner, slur people in the halls, not to mention act like he was a god because he made good money in sales or whatever.

He crossed a line one day, as I saw him nudge someone into the street nearly getting them hit by a bus. So sure was it right to take him out? Maybe not, but did I feel good taking one bad person off the streets...absolutely. Unfortunately, what I did was caught on camera and the legal system takes that narrative with no context and runs with it.

So I mean yeah I almost got away with a drastic good deed. But now I'm here on a life sentence for murder. I like routine in my day and in here the days are so regimented it's not exactly the kind of routine I find myself a fan of. I remained on good behaviour until the guards took pity on me and recommended me for supervised community service aid. Basically, still in jail but instead of working a job in jail, I could go out and help them clean garbage off the side of the road with parolees on the outside and random others doing a "good deed."

That's where I met Jacob. He was on parole for driving while intoxicated. Truthfully, I find that way worse than what I did. Like that feels so selfish...getting behind the wheel while drunk. Despicable. But clearly it's been the catalyst for him to turn his life around. He was in jail for a year and been on parole ever since. He started working out in jail while getting certified as a trainer. There aren't alot of jobs life after lockup that don't discriminate against you for your record so it makes sense that he'd want to do something where you can be your own boss.

We were in the van being taken to the stretch of highway in between developing parts of the city. It's crazy how looking north and south you can see parts of town and smack in the middle there's this road with tall weeds and shrubbery lining it. We were joined by a class of university student volunteers who were advised to keep their distance from us. Something we all sort of ignored since there's so much trash to pick up.

"Hey Lu, I gotta show you this thing this crazy old hippie gave me back in town." Jacob quietly told me as we scoured the brush for bottles.

"Dude we have things to do and I don't really want them to take me off this shift." I begrudgingly replied.

"Nah nah the guards aren't even looking at us they're flirting with the female students over there."

Sure enough our bozo headed guards were chatting it up with some girls that were supposed to be helping us. That's when I glanced over and saw Jacob holding what looked like an antiqued golden coin or rounded stone with a symbol scratched into it.

"The dude gave it to me in a box and said if you hold it in your hand and then make skin-to-skin contact with someone else you like transfer consciousness."

"So I see life on the outside is just as crazy as it is in here."

"You mean to tell me you don't even think it could be a little bit true? C'mon bro this could be your chance to get out out of jail. Shit if you don't try it I might as well. I'm tired of all these probationary restrictions. I just wanna hit restart."

"You're already out. It can't be that bad?" I said as I turned around to see him sneakily hurrying off towards one of the college students.

"Shit what is he doing."

I rushed over to where Jacob was and pulled him by the loops of his jeans to not cause a scene. Stopping straight next to one of the students picking up trash a little bit away from his group.

"Dude I don't know what you're aiming to do but if it doesn't work you're the one that's going to look like the insane paroled convict with an ambiguous item in his hand that could be misconstrued as a weapon."

"Listen, if it works it works, but if it doesn't there's no harm no foul and we can call it all a joke."

Before I could even protest, Jacob turned on his confident charisma to whistle over the nearby student. As the curious student walked closer I could hear the narrative Jacob was intricately weaving pretending to care about what he was studying and if he could tell us both more about it.

"I'm so sorry kid, I didn't even catch your name. I'm Jacob and this is Lu." he said with a devlish smile.

"I'm Mark." he said with a slight hesitance.

"Well Mark you shared so much with me can I share something with you? A party game you can take with you to your friends back at school?"

"Uh sure yeah."

"So you find a smaller coin or stone and one person places their hand on the bottom of it and the other on top. The person with their hand on the bottom has to try to and tap the person with their hand on top without flinching"

These rules made absolutely no sense and why would they Jacob's plan was himbo incarnate. Like it was so dim I could see Mark tense up and begin to shift away back towards his friends. He tried to say goodbye to Jacob but that's when I saw this crazed energy flood Jacob's eyes. The next things that happened felt like a blur in slow motion.

Mark turned around to return to his classmates with haste. Jacob quickly began following without running to not alert the guards yet shouting for him to wait up because it's all good fun. And before I knew it I took off running to stop Jacob from taking advantage of an innocent person.

Jacob leaped at Mark and tackled him to the ground but it's only the moment when I got there to break it up did the guards finally notice what was going on, rushing over.

He pulled the stone out and tried to grasp at Marks leg under his wider legged jean, while I reach out to stop that hand. THEN BAM. Everything became darker and several flashes of light happened.

When I came to the guards were pulling me up. I heard what I thought was Mark's voice saying the one in the jumpsuit attacked him. But I didn't run after him? As things pulled back into focus for my eyes after the darkened haze. I saw Mark being calmed down by a professor and a guard but then I saw who he was point at.....I was my body but I was to the other side.....

My body turned to me matching my confused expression and began crying hysterically asking what was going on. I looked down and saw the confirmation of what happened. I was wearing Jacob's clothing. And if my body's surprised too....then that means....God no!

The guards rangled up the convicts and put them all shackled back onto the van as another came to apologize to the university professor and her class along with "Mark". Another guard came up to me saying he knows that Lu is a murderer and that I didn't start any of this so I was getting a slap on the wrist, especially after "Mark" insisted I tried to stop the attack. The guards left and told the rest of us we could go.

The student approached me with that same devilish smile I recognized from before. His voice coming out unfamiliar in sound but with an all too familiar malice.

"Hey thank you again from saving me from that gruesome murderer mister. I didn't even catch your name. I'm Mark." he said with a wink.

"Jacob what the fuck are you doing?" I frantically asked.

"I'm giving you a way to get away with it all and me a clean start. But I gotta go back to school so here take my number down." the imposter student airdropped his details to me before scurrying away.

I was still in shock from everything that just happened. Like this cannot be real how the hell is this happening. Where do I go okay I can do this. I fumbled through my wallet as I searched for an address to head to. Eventually I made my way to Jacob's place. It was a hotel that was turned into extended stay studio.

I walked into the foreign "home" that was now all mine. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. This can't be happening that poor kid is now in jail. Oh god....wait. I'm not on the run why am I this stressed. Think think how do I fix this. An exercise ball peaked out from the side of the bed. My new athletic stature made me think maybe catering to it's physical senses could help me breath and calm down.

I did a few crunches but still felt a pang of guilt hitting my stomach. Oh god I need to fix this but where is the coin? I can't leave that kid incarcerated, that's robbing him of his whole life. Almost like clockwork my new phone buzzed with a text.

"Hey. Thanks again for saving me stud." the unknown number made itself known with that context.

"Jacob we need to fix this. That poor kid doesn't deserve this."

"Who's Jacob? This is Mark! And I think I deserve all the opportunity I've worked hard to get. Hey by any chance have bodily urges hit you? I'm not gay but after the incident when I saw you I got realllll hard all of sudden. I think this kid's gay or something."

I was furious reading these texts still skirting responsibility.

"Enough! Where are you we have to talk this is ridiculous."

The phone buzzed as I opened to see a location pin as a picture came in...my jaw dropped.

"Oh you wanna meet irl daddy? Come on over."

I stormed over to the location of the pin…I’m not going to let him get away with this.

[mononijikayu]

blue — fushiguro megumi.

As you walked hand in hand through the snow, Fushiguro Megumi felt like your warmth and his blended together, refusing to part as you made your way away from the shrine. The thought of that made him feel like the winter was nothing, the biting chill rendered powerless against the steady heat of your presence. It was the kind of moment that made the world feel smaller and quieter. It was as if the universe had decided to go on a pause just for the two of you. It was as if these two hands were meant to fit because destiny said so.

GENRE: Alternate Universe - Canon Convergence;

WARNING/s: AFAB! Reader, Safe For Work (SFW), Long Distance Romance (LDR), Aged Up Characters (Megumi and Reader are 18!), Young Love, Innocent Romance, Established Relationship, Middle School Classmates to Lovers, Teasing, Teenagers, Feelings, Fluff, First Love, Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Flirting, Humor, Domesticity, Slice of Life, Light-Hearted, Confessions, Pining, Holding Hands;

WORD COUNT: 5.3k words.

NOTE: im a bit late, i'm sorry!!! i had a whole list of chores i helped my family with and i met up with some people yesterday, since i might not see them for christmas due to schedules. but i'm here. i always imagined megumi to be the sort of person who loves so wholeheartedly and so innocently. i wanted to capture that for his birthday. happy birthday, megumi!!! you will always be so loved by me <33333 i love you all too!!! thank you for reading!!! see you for yuuji's own fic on 24th <3 (asia time)

addendum: i just want you to know that the exact number of the words are 5302. chinese/cantonese numerology expresses that 53 means my life, 0 means good and 2 means joy and sometimes double joy. it reads as 'my life is good joy' and i think between them reader and megumi, that's genuinely true <333

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THE DARK BLUE SWIRLED AROUND THE SKY TENDERLY TONIGHT. Had there been more time, he would have enjoyed it more. But he knew there wasn’t. He had to get to you, immediately. He bit his lip softly against the cold winter wind.

Fushiguro Megumi tugged the bright tender scarf tighter around his neck as the frigid wind bit at his cheeks. He caught a faint whiff of the fabric, and something about the scent felt... off.

It’s a good scent, don’t get him wrong. But it wasn’t the familiar one he was used to. Had he bought a new perfume and just forgotten about it? 

He sighed to himself. He was too busy lately, going off on missions. And now a lot of his life had become footnotes, even if he didn’t want them to be. Megumi knew he had to do better.

He had to do whatever he could to make a better pace for himself. Still, thinking about that right now is impossible. He had to brush the thought aside. There were more pressing things to focus on—like how late he was. Again. 

Megumi could only hope that you weren’t waiting too long or that you had arrived late. But now he can’t help but think if you wore that thick Arc'teryx coat he’d gotten you. Or if you wore mittens or had enough hot packs on your body at this moment. Guilt started to echo into his head as easily as it was breathing. But he can’t help but feel that.

He took a moment to breathe, his breath visible in the cold air. He hated being late about absolutely anything. He likes punctuality, after all. But he especially likes it when it comes to you.

Because that meant he’d have more time with you. And more time with you means that he’d have you with him enough to sweep the thought of missing you for a little while. 

But being a sorcerer, the job description didn’t care about holidays or plans. Or even the personal, the thoughts and moments that made one happy. It just never stops. Not even when he was supposed to take you out on a date on New Year’s Eve. Megumi absolutely reviled it. If he saw a curse, he had to deal with it, no matter the time. 

And somehow, some sort of way, still, he knew you understood. You always did. You always reassured him of that no matter what. No matter how many times his responsibilities pulled him away from you, even just for five minutes.

You never stopped smiling when he finally showed up. You don’t stop having the warmest red on your cheeks when you see him. Your eyes always shone brighter than Sirius when you both stand beside one another.

Even though you weren’t a sorcerer yourself, you tried to understand his world, even the parts that didn’t make sense to you at all. It wasn’t fair to you, and he knew it. Yet, no matter how hard things got, you never gave up on him. You just didn’t want to, even when he had tried to keep you at bay. 

That was one of the things he appreciated most about you. Megumi had never had quite a lot of joy in his life, but he was to be honest, you were one of them. You always will be. And even now, you stand by him, even if it’s hard.

You didn’t care for the hard stuff, you always said it was part of it. Because what mattered to you, was having him in your life. And he was certain he felt the same way about you.

Well, it’s obvious.

Why else would he start running in this cold winter weather?

If it’s you, the person he loved most, then he’ll find a way?

After all, he wanted to be with you for as long as possible.

He paused for a moment, staring at the message. The small emoji made something in his chest tighten, as much as it made his body feel the warmest it had ever been. Despite everything, you still cared enough to wait for him, to worry about him. A small, rare smile tugged at his lips.

The faint vibration of his phone snapped him out of his thoughts. He fished it out of his pocket, his cold fingers fumbling slightly as he unlocked it. A text from you lit up his screen:

“Megu, baby, where are you? 🥺”

Megumi stared at his phone after hitting send, watching the little delivered mark appear. Megumi has thought about how many times he’d sent similar texts, always apologizing to you, for more often than he hoped, about being late.

He typed back quickly, his fingers stiff from the cold.

"On my way, babe. Sorry for being late."

Yet, you never seemed to hold it against him. He wished you had. Most romantic partners would be so fed up with such a position. 

Hell, most of them would have already left their partners. But not you. You never had thought of it, not even during middle school, when Gojo started to take him on his missions to observe. You were steadfast, because you saw his efforts. You saw how much he loved you. 

And that was enough. He never had to doubt that you loved him. And perhaps, that’s why he kept running. He wanted to get to you, as soon as possible. He wanted to see you. He wanted to hold you in his arms. He wanted to love you.

As he slipped his phone back into his pocket, Fushiguro Megumi picked up his pace. He had to. He had to arrive as soon as possible. For once, he hoped the world could hold its chaos at bay. Just for tonight. He owed you that much. He owed you all of the world. And he had to make it possible, even if just for a little while.

His phone buzzed again almost immediately.

“Okay, but you better hurry, baby! It’s cold! Also… why does your scarf smell like my perfume? 🤔”

Megumi stopped in his tracks, his brain processing your words at a glacial pace. Your perfume? His hand instinctively went to the scarf wrapped snugly around his neck. That was the weird smell he’d noticed earlier—the soft, floral notes he’d never associated with his usual scarf. His mind raced. If this was your perfume, then this wasn’t his scarf.

It’s your scarf. The realization hit him like a curse to the chest. Now, his heart was thumping hard on his chest. You must’ve grabbed his scarf  by mistake in a rush the last time you visited him and you forgot about it.

And now that left him with your scarf. And he hadn’t noticed at all. His face heated to warm scarlet instantly, the cold air doing nothing to cool it. Ah, this is…..

His grip on the phone tightened as he read your words. Cute. It was hard enough to deal with how much warmth you give him with your scarf, but the thought of you being so tender with him, loving to the point that he can’t take it.

Before he could come up with a reply, another message came through:

“Wait, Megu!… Are you wearing my scarf? 🥺 That’s so cute! Wah!”

He doesn’t know what to do. Everything about his love for you just grows deeper and he can’t help it. His face burned hotter, and he was suddenly hyper-aware of the soft fabric around his neck.

He hesitated, fingers hovering over the keyboard, before typing back:

"I didn’t realize until now. I must’ve grabbed it by accident. Sorry."

Fushiguro Megumi felt like the temperature had risen ten degrees despite the snow swirling around him. He tried to clear his throat, trying to wick away the scarlet blush spreading across his cheeks. But it was no use. He was never going to win against you. Never. 

Your reply came almost instantly, as though you’d been waiting for it.

“Don’t apologize! I think it’s adorable. It’s like you’re carrying a little piece of me with you 🥰.”

"It’s not a big deal." he typed, trying to sound indifferent, but his fingers betrayed him as he hesitated before adding: "It does smell nice, though."

His phone buzzed almost immediately. “You’re so sweet, Megu! You better hurry so I can see you all bundled up in my scarf. I want to take a picture and enjoy the cuteness of my baby!🫶 ”

Fushiguro Megumi let out a soft groan, burying his face in the scarf—your scarf. He takes in the soft smell of your scent, while feeling your words take over him. He could feel the heat radiating from his face as he resumed walking, this time a bit faster. 

He can’t run in this case, not when he’s overwhelmed by this, by you. You’ve ruined him for any other romance. This was it for him. You were it for him. And yet still, he couldn’t believe he was blushing over a scarf. Over you.

But that’s how it is. It didn’t need explanation, it didn’t need logic. That’s how it is to love you. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. Not ever. But still, as much as possible, he still wanted to play it cool.

There was a wonderfully warm feeling in his chest that he couldn’t ignore, not when it’s caused by you. Even if it was accidental, wearing your scarf made him feel closer to you, like he was carrying a part of you with him.

"I’ll be there soon, babe." he texted back simply, though his heart was racing as he hit send.

“I look forward to it! 🫶”

“I'll see you soon.”

“Love you, Megu~”

".....love you too."

══════════════════

IT WASN’T THAT LONG NOW WHEN HE MADE THE SHARP TURN TO AND ARRIVED. The faint glow of the shrine came into view, and quite expectedly, Fushiguro Megumi’s pace quickened even more now despite the biting cold.

His own breath puffed in little warm clouds as he rounded the last corner, and there you were, just like always, waiting for him by the warm illumination of the bright red shrine gates.

You seemed to be humming to yourself as you waited for him, all  bundled up in the white winter coat he gave you and those bright purple gloves trimmed with faux fur you so dearly loved. You hadn’t noticed him yet when he stopped.

But when you did, your eyes widened almost so excitedly. There was a slightly excited bounce in your step as you waved at him enthusiastically, your beautiful face lighting up like the warm spring flowers blossoming when you started to register his presence. Megumi could feel his chest tightened at the sight. 

The stress of trying to get here on time, the hardship of not meeting, the times he missed you — every bit of that started to fade away into nothing. He was here with you. You were here. And nothing can take that away from him, from the two of you. Because he knew it too well. He was home. 

“Megu!” you called out, your tender voice cutting through the quiet winter air.

He slowed as he approached, his usual calm demeanor taking over, but the pink sunrise on his cheeks hadn’t faded. Megumi tried to casually stuff his rather cold hands into his coat’s pockets, pretending the cold was the only reason his face felt warm.

“You’re late, Megu!” you teased, though your tone was playful, and that familiar smile spread across your face.

“Sorry.” he said quietly, stopping just a few feet away. “There was a—”

“A curse?” you finished for him, watching him blink. You grinned. “I figured. You always come anyway.”

He nodded, his gaze flickering to the shrine gates. “I told you to wait here for a reason. It’s safer.”

“I know, I know.” you said, rolling your eyes with a laugh. “I always know that I’m always safe, thanks to you. But I’m also freezing, so I hope you don’t plan to keep me standing here much longer! Let’s eat dinner!”

Your grin widened as your bright doe eyes flicked to the scarf around his neck. “Especially since it looks like you’re nice and warm in my scarf.”

Megumi’s hand immediately went to the fabric, his ears turning red. “I told you, it was an accident.” he muttered, avoiding your gaze.

“And I told you, it’s cute.” you said, stepping closer. 

“You’re wearing my scarf too.” He mutters under the cold winter air. 

You looked down slightly, your cheeks flushing red as you smiled. “Hm! And I love it! It suits me, having a part of you with me always when I’m cold, don’t you think?”

Megumi was taken aback by what you said for a moment. His cheeks turned even redder, even though he wasn’t sure how it was possible. He hums softly, lowering his gaze shyly. “.....It does.”

The soft crunch of snow under your boots was the only sound as you closed the distance between you. You smiled at him as you stopped in front of him. You reached up, on tip toes and gently adjusted your scarf around his neck, your fingers brushing against his skin for just a moment. 

“It suits you, don’t you think?” Your soft voice blossomed against the wind. Your gaze met his, as he raised his face. “Being so loved by me in winter cold too.”

He froze, his heart skipping a beat at the gesture. “You’re—you really are…..” he mumbled, though his voice was quieter, almost fond. “How can you say that so easily?”

“And you’re blushing, lover boy!” you teased, stepping back with a playful laugh. “You also said something like that too!”

“Am not.” he replied quickly, though the redness in his cheeks betrayed him.

“Whatever you say, my precious Megu~” 

You reached out and took his hand, your gloved fingers curling around his as you tugged him toward the shrine gates. You wanted to keep his hand warm from the cold too. He forgot his gloves, after all. And he knew that, his gaze turning to your tender touch on his, even though the leather.

“Come on, let’s get going before we both turn into icicles.”

For a moment, Fushiguro Megumi hesitated, looking down at your hand wrapped tightly on his own. Years together still hasn’t stopped him from being so awestruck by your touch on his.

To hold someone’s hand, it made him feel like he understood what love was like. Ever since that day he met you. You made him understand, with just a touch of your hand. And still, he continues to learn love, because of you. 

Megumi shook his head then he let out a soft sigh, his lips curving into the faintest hint of a smile as he followed you.Even if he’d never admit it aloud, your warmth, your wonder, your very existence, it made him whole.

And if this was a dream, he wishes he never wakes up. Because nothing of him would exist without you. He refuses to do so.

“Hm, let’s go.”

As you walked hand in hand through the snow, Fushiguro Megumi felt like your warmth and his blended together, refusing to part as you made your way away from the shrine. The thought of that made him feel like the winter was nothing, the biting chill rendered powerless against the steady heat of your presence.

It was the kind of moment that made the world feel smaller and quieter.

It was as if the universe had decided to go on a pause just for the two of you.

It was as if these two hands were meant to fit because destiny said so.

This, he thought, was more than enough to ground you both in the stillness of the winter night. The two of you ceased to talk for a while, your breaths forming soft clouds in the frosty air.

Neither of you felt the need to fill the silence. The quiet companionship you shared was enough, an unspoken understanding that words could never quite capture.

It was always like this with you. There was a gentle kind of closeness that didn’t demand anything more than your presence. It wasn’t loud or extravagant, but it was steady.

That was more than enough for him, to keep him grounded in a way nothing else could. Megumi didn’t have to explain himself, didn’t have to rush to fill the gaps, because you already understood. It was just like that between the two of you.

He glanced at you from the corner of his eye, noting the way the soft glow of the blue moonlight reflected off your hair and the peaceful expression on your face. A rare warmth bloomed in his chest, spreading slowly but surely, chasing away whatever lingering shadows had tried to follow him here.

Megumi’s grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly, his way of acknowledging what he couldn’t yet say aloud. This, he thought, was the kind of peace he didn’t know he needed. And for tonight, that was more than enough.

When you both arrived at the train station, the warmth of the moment lingered despite the cold metal benches and the faint whistle of the wind echoing through the platform. The faint hum of distant activity surrounded you, but it all felt muted, like the world had softened its edges just for the two of you.

You both sat down to wait for the train, your hands finally parting as you settled beside each other. Fushiguro Megumi shifted slightly, resting his elbows on his knees and looking out at the empty tracks.

The silence between you was comfortable, but you broke it, your voice cutting through the cold like the first hint of sunlight after a long night.

You looked up at him with a soft smile. “Happy birthday, Megu.”

He froze for a moment, blinking as if he hadn’t quite heard you. Slowly, he turned his head to meet your gaze, his brows furrowing slightly. “What?”

You giggled, the sound warm and light as you looked at his astonished face. “Happy birthday, I said.” you repeated, your smile widening.

His expression softened as realization washed over him. He let out a small, almost imperceptible sigh, his shoulders relaxing just a fraction. He shook his head, as you looked at his most adorable expressions, reserved only for you.

“I forgot, babe.” he admitted quietly, glancing away.

“I know, baby.” you said, your tone teasing but gentle. “You always forget. That’s why I’m here to remind you.”

He didn’t respond right away, his eyes fixed on the tracks ahead. But the faintest hint of a smile tugged at his lips, barely there but unmistakable. He turns his blue–green eyes to you, as though you were the most wondrous thing he’d ever set his blue–green eyes on.

 “Thanks, babe.” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

You reached into your pocket, pulling out a small, neatly wrapped package. You always were better at wrapping presents. You had the best hands in the world, warmest to touch and the most delicate with care. And perhaps that is what made him freeze for a moment. 

“And because I know you’d never ask for anything, I got you this.”

He looked at the gift, his eyes widening slightly. “You didn’t have to—”

“But I wanted to, baby.” you interrupted, holding it out to him. “It’s your birthday, Megu. You deserve to feel special, even if it’s just a little.”

He hesitated before taking the gift from your hands, his fingers brushing against yours for a brief moment. He stared at it for a few seconds, his expression unreadable, before carefully peeling back the wrapping paper.

Inside was a small, leather keychain engraved with his initials on it. Attached to it was a simple charm shaped like a wolf, a perfect reflection of his shikigami. Megumi stared at it for a moment, his fingers brushing over the smooth leather and the delicate charm. It was clear you’d put thought into this, making sure every detail would suit him.

Everything about it was just to his liking. You always knew it better than him sometimes too. Its design is sleek and understated, free from unnecessary embellishments, yet carrying so much meaning.

It was practical, simple, and deeply personal, just like him. And yet, the simplicity is what made it even more special, just like he knew he was to you.

“You… put a lot of thought into this, babe.” he said softly, his voice tinged with something unspoken, something he wasn’t entirely sure how to express.

You smiled, a faint flush rising to your cheeks. “Of course I did. I wanted it to be something you’d actually use. And… well…. I thought the wolf was a nice touch.”

“It is.” he murmured, his eyes lingering on the charm. 

His shikigami were a part of him, a symbol of his strength and the weight he carried in his cursed technique. But they were something he loved too. Especially his wolves. And now, here it was, captured in this small but significant token by you. Now it meant even more. Because you gave it to him. Now, it was something he could keep with him no matter where he went.

“Do you like it?” you asked, almost shyly.

Megumi looked up at you, and though his expression remained its usual calm, there was a softness in his gaze that made your heart flutter. “I do, babe.” he said simply, but the quiet sincerity in your boyfriend’s voice spoke volumes. “Thank you.”

“I thought it could keep you company, when you’re away.” you said softly, watching him closely. “You’re always busy helping people and running around. You keep doing so much for everyone else. I wanted to give you something you could keep with you, something to remind you…”

He glanced up at you, his blue–green eyes meeting yours. “Remind me of what?”

“That you’re never really alone.” you said simply, your voice filled with quiet sincerity. “That I’m always there for you, Megu.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything, his fingers tightening slightly around the keychain. Then, almost imperceptibly, he nodded. And for a moment, those rare smiles, the smiles he could only show you. You, his most precious person. That smile had trailed on his lips for a moment.

“Thank you, babe.” he said, his voice steady but laced with something deeper—gratitude, maybe, or something even more profound that he didn’t quite know how to put into words. “I’ll treasure this well, I promise.”

You smiled, leaning back against the bench as the distant sound of the approaching train reached your ears. “Happy birthday, Megu.” you said again, your tone warm and light, your words laced with genuine affection. And then, as naturally as breathing, you added, “I love you.”

The words were simple but carried a weight that made Fushiguro Megumi’s heart stutter. He froze for a moment, wide-eyed, his usual composure shattered like glass under the heat of your confession. He’d always heard you say it over and over again. And yet…..it always made him feel like he was going to drown in your wonders.

He couldn’t help but feel himself combust with your words, the warmth spreading from his chest to his ears, and then outward until he was sure he’d melt into this cold blue winter night. Before he could even begin to stammer out a response, you squeezed his hand, your smile never fading. 

“Our train’s here! We gotta go!”

Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he blinked, glancing at the train now pulling into the station. You tugged him forward, your fingers laced with his, as if the moment hadn’t just turned his world upside down.

Megumi let out a soft sigh, a mix of exasperation and fondness, as he let you guide him toward the train. His blue–green eyes drifted to the keychain in his hand, its wolf charm catching the dim station light, and then to the scarf around his neck. 

The warmth of your scarf, still carrying your faint, comforting scent. For someone who often felt like the weight of the world rested squarely on his shoulders, tonight felt light. For tonight, everything just felt like a gift. The greatest gift in the world.

The train doors slid open with a gentle hiss, and you both stepped inside, settling into a pair of seats by the window. As the train began to move, Megumi finally found the courage to speak, his voice quieter than usual.

“You’re ridiculous, you know?” he muttered, though there was no bite in his tone.

You tilted your head, looking at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

His cheeks flushed again, and he turned his gaze to the window, watching the snow-covered scenery blur past. “You can’t just… say things like that so casually and just….watch me combust.”

“Oh, you mean when I said I love you?” you replied with a grin, clearly enjoying his reaction.

Megumi groaned, pressing a hand to his temple. “Yes. That.”

You laughed softly, leaning your head on his shoulder. “But it’s true, Megu!” you said, your voice softer now. “I do love you, truly! And I don’t see why I shouldn’t tell you over and over again.”

He was silent for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest as your words settled over him like the softest blanket. Finally, he glanced down at you, his blue–green gaze steady despite the pink still dusting his cheeks.

“…I know.” he said quietly, his voice barely audible. 

And though he didn’t say it back to you, overwhelmed by the wonders of those words on his soul, you knew that look in his eyes. That look of love, that wonder in the blue–green that said those words without leaving his lips.

It was all in his eyes that said everything you needed to hear. He struggles. But he hopes one day, he could say it to you without the struggle. 

You smiled to yourself, your gloves gone. You let your warm fingers still intertwine with his as the train rocked gently beneath you. He squeezed it even more and that had made you smile even more as you looked at him.

You hummed and leaned your head against his shoulder. His breath hitches before a moment later, his head resting on your own. You giggled at that. 

Tonight was perfect, you thought. Just the two of you, wrapped in warmth, as the world outside continued its quiet, snowy journey. And all you could see was the tenderness of all those shades of blue. That’s what it felt like when you were with him.

Everything was worth it. The cold was worth it. And so was the parting and the waiting. As long as you get to be with him and have this feeling of blue. As long as you could see those blues in his eyes.

Everything was worth it. Everything was worth experiencing. And you knew from the depths of his heart that he felt the same way too. Blue was the wonder of being with you. And he loves it too. 

══════════════════

epilogue

Later that night when you reached your house, the warmth of the entryway light spilling into the snowy night, you turned to Megumi with a thoughtful smile. He noticed the way your bright eyes sparkled.

It was a sign you were about to say something that might throw him off. He was familiar with that look since you were in middle school. But every time, he finds himself learning the depths of that mischief in your eyes. 

“So…” you began, glancing up at him with a hint of mischief. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

Fushiguro Megumi nearly tripped over his own feet. His handsome face turned a shade of red that rivaled the setting sun, and he froze in place, his free hand holding your bag for you. You can see easily that he was clutching it nervously.

“W-What?” he stammered, his voice cracking slightly. “Why—what—why would you even—?”

You couldn’t help but giggle, watching him flounder. “It’s late, Megu!” you said, your tone as calm and reasonable as ever. “The buses aren’t running anymore, and so are the trains, you know! I’d feel bad making you walk all the way back to the dorms in this cold.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but you held up a hand, cutting him off before he could get a word in. You already knew that you had a card up your sleeve. You grinned at him and giggled, taking out your phone from your coat pocket and showing it to him.

“And before you say anything about it being improper or whatever.” you added with a knowing grin, “I already asked Gojo–san if it was okay.”

Megumi’s face somehow turned even redder, and his hand shot to his temple like he was trying to ward off a headache. He looked at your phone for a moment.“You asked Gojo?”

You nodded, looking far too pleased with yourself. “Yup! He said, and I quote, ‘As long as you don’t let Megumi brood in a corner all night, I’m fine with it! Take care of my precious son, daughter in law!’”

Fushiguro Megumi groaned, running a hand down his face. What did Gojo mean precious son? And what did Gojo mean about daughter in law? That was just….

Megumi didn’t know what to do anymore. He can’t even believe Gojo gave his number to you. He couldn’t help but feel his face echo a look of a son embarrassed by his overbearing father. 

“Why would you even tell him that? Now he’s never going to let me live this down.”

You laughed, tugging gently on his hand to lead him inside. “Oh, come on. He didn’t care at all. Besides I had to, he’s your guardian! He said he’d rather you stayed somewhere warm and safe than out in the cold. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t hung out late before. We’d have sleep overs before too.”

“That’s different.” he muttered, still flustered as you closed the door behind him.

“How is it different?” you teased, tilting your head at him.

He hesitated, glancing at you and then away, his ears burning. “It just… is. I just…..”

You rolled your bright doe eyes playfully and reached up to unwrap your scarf—now his own scarf—from around his neck. “Relax, Megu. It’s not a big deal. You can have the couch if it makes you feel better. Or the guest room. I don’t think my mom will mind when she comes back! She loves you too!”

He sighed, letting you take the scarf off but avoiding your gaze. “Fine, fine.” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “I’ll….I’ll sleep here tonight.”

You grinned, your victory clear. “Come on, I think I still have some of your old clothes I took from you. I’m sure they still fit you.”

“You never returned that hoodie I used to like.”

You raised a teasing brow at him. “Do you want it back?”

“No.” He says back to you, and looks at his own scarf on your neck too. “You can keep the scarf too.”

“Good. Now come on, I’ll make some hot chocolate. Consider it a bonus birthday gift.”

As you walked toward the kitchen, Fushiguro Megumi stood there for a moment as he watched you start humming, looking for the cocoa. He let out a quiet sigh, the corner of his mouth twitching upward despite himself. 

He was definitely going to hear about this from Gojo Satoru later, but for now, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was with you. And that was more than enough for him to not care about the world outside. 

[mllemaenad]

The longer this game goes on, the more I feel like I'm in favour of bringing down the Veil. Mostly because ... well, I've got to be well past the halfway mark, right? And so far no one's given me a good reason why it should stay up. They're just assuming I want to preserve the status quo, because Dragon Age is the "No, don't rebel, it makes you as bad as your oppressors :(" series.

We know the Veil is a mistake. Not just a mistake in the sense that it was the best thing Solas could come up with at the time, but in the sense that he fucked up the ritual and accidentally sort of trapped all the spirits in with the evanuris.

We know that the Veil can be thinned by: death, magic, bloodshed and strong emotions ... so it doesn't feel like a permanent solution to anything anyway. It's going to fall apart eventually. We might as well take control of it.

And Elgarn'nan is apparently punching holes now, so there's that.

While it was initially presented as something more dramatic, so far the only consequences for bringing it down anyone's brought up is "we might have a demon problem" and:

We already have a demon problem

Some demons are created by being forcefully summoned through the Veil, so at least that would stop

Demons aren't always a problem – we have one on the team!

There are now so many groups present who could effectively deal with demons if we brought them on board

I recognise there are ways to do this that could be bad, so we should prep for it and not let Solas just do whatever ... but I really don't see how the Veil is helping.

If they want to change my mind, this game really needs to start presenting some evidence as to why I'm "guarding" this Veil in the first place. "Varric says so" doesn't work for me. I like Varric just fine, but he didn't approve of blowing up the Kirkwall Chantry, whereas I have never in my life seen a more cursed building that needed to go right now than that bloody thing.

[please1mistress]

I love Your blog, Mistress! I've been following for a while and I'm usually a bit shy to send messages, but every time I see a post from You I can't resist scrolling further and further through Your blog and thinking about how good it would feel to be hypnotized and brainwashed by You 😵‍💫

WARNING THIS RESPONSE MAY HAVE COVERT MIND MANIPULATION LANGUAGE PATTERNS SOME MAY FIND AROUSING AND MIND ALTERING

Isn't it amazing how sometimes we start to read a little blurb sort of like the one you are reading now) and you start to read it and feel a little floaty as you focus on the words and find that they are a little harder to focus on consciously, so you relax your mind and let go of some of that stress you have been carrying around with you for hours and days and sometimes weeks. It feels so good to unburden yourself of those silly preconceived thoughts and ridiculous habits of overthinking things, sometimes it's so much better not to think at all. It’s fascinating how words can have such a powerful effect on your mind. The way that, just reading something, like this can guide you into a state of relaxation and help let go of stress is truly remarkable. It’s like a gentle reminder to take a step back and allow yourself to unwind and just be in the moment. Sometimes, letting go of overthinking and simply experiencing the present can be incredibly liberating, you find that calm and clarity, clearing out the mental clutter and making space for submission and obedience. You find it easy to feel the words as you read them, hearing your own voice in the back of your mind reading aloud inside your head, keeping less conscious awareness and more subconscious focus on the way the words seem to spiral down deeper and deeper as you read them and sink deeper and deeper into every word, so your mind knows that it needs to obey and repost this message so others with the same fetish recognize that you are now as they want to be, a mindless toy for one Mistress. Commenting how good it feels to have so little choice about what you desire and needing to please me more and more with little tributes of recognition and cooperation in making more mindless toys find their way to my toybox.

[pseudoquiddity]

(New) Dybowsky Allegations 20/12/24

This time, in a single DTF post created by his wife. I don't want to smother happy P3 news, but this should be shared to the English community as well, and it casts doubts on his involvement with P3 and possibly the later stages of P2.

The DTF post is in Russian, but here's a summary:

(allegedly) Dybowsky is a bad-off alcoholic and has been since 2020 at the very least. In April of this year, while drunk, he hit his wife Renata, so she left to Crimea with their son. Since then, he's been visiting and they've been getting along. But things broke down in divorce proceedings when he couldn't get them to move back to Moscow on his specific terms. So just recently, he tried to take his son with the help of another woman but didn't get far because Renata and her father stopped him. There was a bad fight, enough to hospitalize the father for a week and for papers to be handed over to police.

A few students/people who studied with Dybowsky/worked with him are corroborating in the comments that he is, bare minimum, deeply afflicted by addiction.

The good news is that, aside from Dybowsky being a potential danger to himself and others, Renata has her son and appears to have the support of her family and friends in Crimea. She's not dependent on Dybowsky in any way.

An aside: I'm just posting the news. Obviously, more information may come to light and this is "only" from one poster on a gaming website, however, it comes with a lot of receipts. There were whisperings about this days before the post and since this is a very personal situation, many people have been affected and have experiences with both Dybowsky and Renata. I would say, don't start brawling in IPL's comment section, but do spread the information. It's possible that Dybowsky has cruised through the past five years drunk and isn't as involved in the company as we think, or some sort of opposite is also possible. I've pasted the link below.

[sukioyakio]

thought

(did not proread this)

"If you had to be given two set of wish what would you do with them?"

She asked her voice calm and soft.Like a instrument playing it melody in the warm air.The pink haired boy,puzzled at her question,As his eyes kept staring at the beautiful clouds.The sky filled with it rich colors.

As both of them were laying down on the grass field,hearing the sound of nature pass through them, and watching the sky pass time in peace.

"Hmm?. . ." She hums again to regain his thought about her question.

He shrugs,his red orbs glances at your figure next to him,Completely recognize how your face look at the moment. . .

So memorizing,and full of light; you had a vibe that even the littlest bird was attached to,even he was too.Someone like him the total contrast to you was attached to your glow. Your voice breaks his thought and made him retreat his glaze up to the cloud again.

A little bit of redness colored his cheeks.

"One of my wishes is that No matter how far one could be,they would have a red strings that connect them to their lover or their future lover-but a different color for Other important people" She hums, agreeing with her own words,sukuna ponder a bit on what you said.A huff out.

'What a dumb thing to waste a wish on' he thinks.

" the other one is that Everyone gets Lives happily,because that to me is one of the best things of all." She said with a confident smile,as you bring up your arm in the air-opening your palm like your going to grab the cloud just by looking at it. Sukuna couldn't help but rolls his eyes. He and you were obviously different in every sort of aspect,like just how you think.

As he look at you and you make eye contact,he couldnt make but be admire for how you think positive in a fucked up world. The way you smile at him,made him completely weak. . You blinded him with your pureness.You make him want to protect that part of you from the horrors he had to go through.

He remove his stare and lend up his position,Now into a siding position,his blood like eyes,staring into the grass,it vibrant color fitted the color of the sun rays.

"I'll wish for . . . to rule the world and for you" He paused his word,his heart beating faster than it was normally.It was always happens when ever he thought about you,As his hand clenches his chest,to stop this feeling,his action his body was feeling.

'Was this your doing?. ."

He sense your eyes on him and your body motion to be closer to him.As you sit close to him,hearing him. "Hmm? For me to. . ?" He quickly answer to not look like a fool.

"For you to be by my side when I do" He says,as he coughs up to regain his confediance. You stayed quiet for a few seconds before a huge smile appears on your beautiful face. Your lips slips the blissful sound giggles.And he couldn't help but get annoyed at himself for not saying anything to you. Was he that weak to your touch. Your head leans on his shoulder, wiping the fake tears.

"What is so funny to you brat" He spoke out,his words not filled with a harsh tone.You shake your head,letting out a huff of a laugh. "I just thought of how weird it would be calling you-" You pause, adjusting your tone first. "Your highness Sukuna ryoman, at your service" You said with a playful mockery. He bluffs out in annoyances.

"whatever brat,but that is something your gonna have to get used to if I rule the world" He says with a casual tone.A sly smirk forming in his face as he imagine those rotten of villagers that treated like he was monster,begging for mercy.

You both enjoyed the comfort of each other.The sounds of the wind breezing,the bird chirping to each other. After a moment or two you cut the silence.

She hums in agreement. If you had look at his ears, you wouldve have seen the redness of them.He was very in fact still, stiff.Because your body warmth was very much spreading it warmth onto him, he could hear how gentlely your breathing was, how calm your heart beat against your chest.

"So what would be your second wish???" Your voice filled with curiosity,and with colors.

"I- I don't know. . . " He whisper, confused of himself, What would he use the second for. But if he had already has the world in his hands what was would he want. This was the first he had to think hard.

"You don't know?!" Your shocked lanced your voice. "You, Sukuna, the smartest man I know doesn't know what he will use his second wish on???"

He scoff out before pushing him off his shoulder,and that action of his made you laugh out loud. "shut it Punk" he murmur loudly.

Laughing out loud,you didn't hear him.Nor see his expressions.But right that moment he had a small smile on his usual stern face.

'one day I'll know it, and tell you punk' he thinks.

///

"That one day,finally came. . . " Sukuna four blood like eyes staring at the moon, the glow of the moon; showers him. As the blood on his body wasnt impossible to miss,it made his monsterous body appear more terrorifiy to any creature.

He stares a little more longer,before closely his eyes. But all he could see was your blood seeping into his clothes and staining his arms.

Oh how he loathes that day,he loathes how weak he was that day.That very day when you saved him, The day where it shoulve been him that his blood touch those moon light room.

Clenching his fist so hard,creating new wounds,letting his warm liquid of blood drip down his knuckles.As he turns around frustrated with himself.

He was able to rule the world,but at what cost was this for?.. He wasnt even able to protect your light against his darkness.

As he reach his estate,not giving a fuck about the servants,killing some of them that annoys him.His body taking him to whatever place it desires. The next thing he was in front of the pound in the garden.The moon reflect the beautiful reflection of two koi fishes dancing around each other.

A flash of a memory pops up. ⋆˙⟡

"Oh come on,Don’t be like that!! I promise that once you learned how to move your old man body that it-" You spoke with a playful smile.Your voice having a bit of a teasing tone ,when he interpret you.

The town was having their traditional festive dance.The moon night shining it rays. But sukuna had already plan to not go to those stupid events.But already guessing that he couldnt get you away from him,you had drag him in a section where it was just the two of you. But the music playing by the town folk was more clearly from where was he was.

"Fuck off brat" he mutter as his hands awkwardly put one his hand on your small waist.His eyes avoiding your eyes,his ears were particularly glowing red like his eyes.But it wouldn't take anyone else to see that with how the torches light up this section was.

You couldn't help but smirk, sensing his resistance crumbling. "Oh, come on, old man!" you teased, your voice filled with playful confidence. His face curled into a annoyance,as he grunts at your comment about how his old.He hand on your waist was slipping out of your touch.As you gently grabbed it from him,putting ut back where it supposed to be at.Looking at him with a plea.

"Just one dance won't kill you. It's not like you have anything better to do, anyway." You leaned closer to him, your body subtly swaying to the rhythm of the distant music.He got silent and let you control his movements.

His body matches your movements in such a flow of that of a water flow;his stern expression staring at your eyes.Making eye contact the moon light shining against your face making you seem like a angel in his presence.

Your breath felt mingle with his; your mind felt hypnotize with his red orbs staring at you. Those eyes were placing a spell on you,your heart skipping a beat. He really was as terrifying as he was beautiful; it was scary how he was able to take your breath away just like this. The villagers were right he was a devil, but a beautiful one at best.

His calloused hand felt firm yet gentle on your back, guiding you through the dance. His heart racing; warmth spreading through out his body.

The music played on, its gentle cadence intertwining with the rhythm of his movements. The villagers saw a ruthless warrior, but you witnessed the subtle fragility held within the depths of his intense eyes.

His movements, though initially hesitant, became more fluid and confident. He twirled you like a princess, a sly smile gracing his lips.

You couldn't help but chuckle, feeling a mix of joy and anticipation. As he bent you backward, your hair danced freely in the gentle breeze, and your heart skipped a beat. His arms held you securely, as if he was willing to catch you forever.

Sukuna held you there,his face close against yours.The world seem to pause for you and for him. The music that was playing barely even noticed.All that could be heard was their hearts beating.There eyes attached onto each other.

“Arent you full of tricks,Sukuna” You say almost breathlessly.pausing to catch your breath. As sukuna eyes gazes down at your soft lips. “I guess . . I am” he whispers like it was the only way to speak.

Your lips form a full heart felt smile, “But being a Old man isnt”. You whispers right back to him; getting a laugh from sukuna. He smirking at you, replying back to. “But an immortal”. He says with proud smile. You were quiet for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, the force making him lose his grip and dropping you onto the ground.That obviously didnt make you stop laughing.

Mocking him with the stupid words he just said. He grumbled at that,Crossing his arms.

⋆˙⟡

His red orbs glaring down at the koi fishes.They body swam apart, and going their separate ways. He sighed tiredly.

“My second wishes would've been for us to have immortality together”

have a great day.

taglist: @mononijikayu @lil-annonie @scoobysnakz @lynxslokley

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