#Im less overwhelmed
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4/29/2023
Time has been flying lately — I can’t believe I’ve completed a month of my surgery rotation. Just a couple more weeks of third year left and then it’s on to dedicated studying for step 2 😳🤯
Now it’s time to celebrate since I’ll be on the ophthalmology service for the next couple weeks aka no more 4am alarms 🤩🎉 I’m also looking forward to seeing more pediatric patients after working on general surgery with adult patients the past two weeks.
#emgoesmed#studyblr#studyspo#med student#med school#med studyblr#productivity#weekend#coffee#ms3#clinical rotations#surgery#ophthalmology#USMLE step 2#Im weirdly excited for dedicated#the opposite of how I felt last year#when I was studying for step 1#idk I just feel much better prepared for step 2#Im less overwhelmed#and the material is more interesting to me#Im feeling optimistic about it#:)#and surgery rotation has been weirdly blessed#not one person has yelled at me#and it’s been a month already#feeling very grateful about that lol
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quick doodle bc i have to make scenarios until next session
#i mean i dont have to but i will and our dm likes to hear my theories c:#curse of strahd#cos#strahd von zarovich#shay davoren#dnd pc#also someone can come and give me a cool artist job bc i've been working at my new place less than a week and im so overwhelmed by it#but maybe i just have to get used to it
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Back to King Candy doodles...
#art#digital art#king candy#wir#wreck it ralph#doodles#may post less so i wont burn myself out#even tho im enjoying doodling him#just im gonna run out of ideas so i need to space out these things smh..#its out of the norm for me to post this much..yall are being fed straight from autistic fixation#unintentionally overwhelming myself#my art
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vincent!! augusta and anton's son <3
(anton belongs to @poicyss)
#im happy with how the design for his shadow form came out :o)#partly inspired by shadow mario since ive been replaying mario galaxy. also fits with auggies space theme#he gets that from anton bc hes a shadow creature/shapeshifter. but vincent is less experienced so he has less control over it#he takes that form when hes overwhelmed poor lil guy </3 and he only has one tuft on his ear while auggie has two#he also inherited the white hair from augusta!! his is more like a four point star while hers is a five point#my art#myart#my oc#oc#friend oc#<- technically shared custody cuz anton belongs to bow lol#oc ref#reference sheet#kemonomimi#vincent#sillies family
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common jeremy postures
#he’s autistic. im saying he has autism jfsvjdsig#be more chill#bmc#jeremy heere#bmc jeremy#posts#art#my art#jeremy#wuuujer#current status: overwhelmed with love for my beautiful and stupid son#and ngl i did draw these partially to make myself feel less weird#but what else are blorbos for you know#and i think the fact i feel embarrassed about posting it means i definitely need to post it
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Status: [Closed, too tired, and I have work tomorrow. :( But I might open it up again if people want, let me know in the comments]
Hey everyoneee
Do you want me to make a small maybe good, maybe bad doodle of your selfship? Well I'm offering!
Mutuals only! Just reblog with your s/i and f/o
Optional: If you have a pose or something in mind, you can describe it or add an additional reference. If not, I will think of something myself :]
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Might take some time to finish, so please be patient!
#JS.Talks#kinda testing the waters#only mutuals for now become im afraid that if i make a reblog game for everyone it would blow up and i would get overwhelmed#but maybe one day i will make one for everyone!#no promises tho i get tired quickly#and i dont even know if anyone will participate with this one but i know my moots are friendly so im a little less scared that i-#that if i mess something up someone will get upset ^^;#(okayyy the social anxiety is talking again im shutting up nowwww)
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having one of those mid-20s moments where you're like well damn. im really not a teenager anymore i dont hate myself anymore actually. like its insane
sorry i gotta ramble but this feels too silly to post anywhere else
#kk.txt#not snz#like for a while even the thought of like admitting i didn't hate myself felt like.. like i was being full of myself#idk what clicked in my brain a few years ago but it felt like i started to see myself more and like understand myself as a person#like i would a friend. and i just didn't think like that before i guess lmao#but like idk i dont talk about my personal life much but ive been recovering from post-pandemic agoraphobia#and i just went on my first big trip alone and im like. god its barely there anymore its just a little shadow in the corner of my mind#that only spreads occasionally now instead of overwhelming me#like im still terrible at a lot a lot a lot of social interaction type stuff but im like.. doing better than i thought id be able to#a few years ago. like idk im not good at.. change and especially conceptualizing myself as someone who can change and be fluid#like i really do think a majority of my person like my core morals and demeanor havent changed that much. and i like that#it makes me feel more secure to be that way#but at the same time its like my mental image isn't nearly as self hating as it used to be#like i used to picture myself as coming off basically the same way as that girl from watamote lmao like#ugly greasy awkward offputting weird#but now im like.. im just some guy... like yeah i have less experience putting effort into my appearance and i slouch and i have acne#but i am also capable of looking good occasionally. i dont need to do it all the time#ok i got off the bus and my train of thought died goodbye
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im not autistic but i believe in their beliefs (because i share like 80 % of symptoms typical for autistic women with yall)
#overstimulation? check#bursts of anger? check#overwhelmed in social situations and needing a lot of downtime in my safe space? having comfort people? check#seeming ‚weird‘ to other people? check#always feeling like i dont fit in with the girls? check#overly excited over small things? check#sensory issues? check#never knowing when its my turn to talk in conversation? check#people reacting weirdly when i interject in conversations? check#monologueing about my special interests? check#special talent? semi check because i dont think im that good at drawing but i used to get in trouble in school for drawing too much#often say inappropriate/inappropriately frank and honest things unintentionally? check#extremely analytical thinking especially regarding social relationships but unable to make me less weird? check#having been the odd one in my family and school and at work all my life? check#having specific rules how everything has to be done? needing rituals and structure and a controlled environment? check#social anxiety as a result? CHECK#the list goes on…#its the adhd/bpd mix i think#personal
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soft abt them tonight sry
#my art#sol mares#solkara#they’re not soft 24/7 I swear im just addicted to drawing them all gentle like#sometimes the combination of insomnia and being overwhelmed from the day makes sol shut down a lil bit by the time the sun goes down. and#they end up not going out . kara started to catch on and would just go to their apartment instead of meeting up somewhere#they might talk less than usual. and not move much. but he doesn’t mind .. if they’re exhausted he’s happy just being there for them#bc he knows that they appreciate it even if they can’t verbalize it at that moment#sol n kara will just hang out together and do stuff of their choice and sometimes nap too#yea idk#ososan#osmt#karamatsu
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I don't think I'll be doing any more drawings tonight, but I'll try to get more done tomorrow!
#i got a bit overwhelmed today#i love all the attention and support but some stuff just stresses me out more#all the meaninglessly playful hating stuff actually stressed me out and made me want to draw less#The grave ask was golden tho that was great#but some of the shit post stuff stressed me out bc there was ao much of it#sorry for rambling but like#having my blog get cluttered stresses me out tbh which is why I delete meaningless posts#i do enjoy 99% of the interaction I get!!! but sometimes its just a lot#also not being able to draw quickly stresses me out sometimes because I don't know why my hands just won't do the thing!#i do have some specific asks im excited to do#but some of them I don't really *want* to do (either bc i can't visualize or because I don't think I'd enjoy doing it)#and i feel bad! i don't want you to feel like im being unfair or ignoring you
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It just clicked for me that I’m going to be all-consumingly devoted to intensive studying for the next month. I’ve been more ambivalent since the year started, bc I honestly miss my friends and want to pursue a lot of hobbies I’ve been dying to pick up, but I want nothing more than to ace an upcoming test that will genuinely determine so much of the trajectory of my life. I’ve already been studying pretty consistently for it, but now I’m actually letting go of my expectations for other things while this is going on. Putting all this pressure on myself has done nothing but slow me down. Like my brain is actually shifting into study camp mode. It’ll be back to waking up at 4 am, studying for 8 hours a day minimum, crunching flash cards w my morning drink/on the treadmill, getting so much done before noon, and not feeling guilty if other areas of my life suffer a little bit. Nothing outside of this matters.
#im going to treat it like a sport bc it is#obvi I’ll still be volunteering / doing orgo research / going to the neuro clinic#but studying is my top priority for sure#hitting the gym / watching movies / fun stuff peppered in between will keep me sane during this#and also seeing friends bc I just need my wonderful friends. but it’s ok if it’s less frequent for now. it’s fine#I was doing great last year and then this year started and my resolutions started overwhelming me and I just haven’t been doing as strongly#the time will pass anyway#I love studying so this won’t be a problem#but I’ve just been up and down ab it lately bc I wanna pick up so much stuff at once#but now that I’ve realized this I’m at ease again. there’s a time for everything. one month off to study is fine#hopelessly devoted to you by olivia newton john but it’s about me and my test#p
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taking a mental health day was a Good Call
#feel 10 times less overwhelmed already#my homework is achievable!#my dumbass accidental scheduling conflicts are solvable!#im excited for the interview im doing of some very cool people for an assignment this evening!#and i cleared off the desk jn my second bedroom/office so i have a cozy lil dedicated homework space now.#might take a homework break later to hang a picture above the desk cuz sitting there is making me realize how bare the walls are
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🗑️ - "It's complicated"
💍 - Partners (current or future)
💢 - Person they can't stand
🏆 - Best friends (past, current or future)
For Corey? :]
I just realized I forgot to post this answer 💀
Sorry about that lmao
Thanks for the ask! I promise its appreciated even if my response was belated
🗑- It's complicated
Ortega! Surprise to nobody that Corey is allergic to commitment. They love (theyd hate the use of that word but its accurate) Ortega but between their trauma and wanting to keep distance to protect them Corey just refuses to label what is obviously a years-long exclusive relationship.
💍- Partners
Also Ortega. Eventually Corey's gonna defrost enough to settle down and be domestic. Ortega breaking them out did wonders to accelerate the process.
💢- Person they can't stand
Chen. They didnt get along very well pre-heartbreak. Started to play nice during rebirth and retri, and then Chen revealed that he knew about them and saw their autopsy photos and did nothing about it. Now Corey wants a dartboard with his face on it.
Bonus extra background character. Corey still doesnt like Owl. They really hold a grudge.
🏆- Best friends
Current: Dr. Mortum and Rosie. Pay no attention to the fact you spend 99% of your bonding time with them through the puppet. Totally not a disaster waiting to happen.
Past: Anathema. They left an unfillable void in Corey's social life. Once they stop dissociating enough to realize how much they miss Themmy its gonna be disasterous
#its been a long few weeks#finally settling into a routine with work and stuff#i think im fully unpacked at my new place now too#i am. SO tired#gonna try to un-ghost everybody now that im less overwhelmed#me 🤝 corey: self isolating when stressed#bad habit. sorry yall#oc lore#corey rook#sidestep#fallen hero
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{It's you? It's you!}
#isat#in stars and time#isat isabeau#no more lisa torture. i bring you Transgender#ns.tiff#artistic nudity#if this gets flagged im gonna kill someone#anyways. i got suddenly overwhelmed by the thought of seeing yourself in the mirror and feeling at home that i had to draw an isa about it#so! i did#i readjusted part to make it less awkward. shhh
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I'm getting to the end of my line over here.
#LIKE I KNOW. BUT ALSO. LIKE. IT HAPPENED WITH EVERYONE SO MAYBE.#like being left on read is okay im fine with that#im also fine with not being messaged for a few days bc I well know life can get busy and overwhelming so ita totally fine#but being left on read consistently. being not messaged for weeks. BY EVERYONE.#please if im doing or saying something wrong i need to know bc ill stop or change bc please i want my firends to want to talk to me#i want my firends to see something and think of me and tell me about it#i want them to listen to a song and send me a link or watch a show i reccomend and give me a script of their reactions#i feel like im giving and not getting a lot back and i want to know what im doing wrong#and if im giving too much i also want to know it bc then ill back off or stop#bc i get so excited when i see ive got messages or asks from my friends and id like to think they feel the same about me#but from my end it doesnt feel like that#i went mia for four days. i touched nothing. reblogged nothing. gave no sign i even existed anymore. and i got one dm the whole time#i love tumblr but its feeling less and less like i have any place here at all let alone on any other socials
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man. I've been reworking a lot of content involving Act II of Home Is Where You Are and like. ugh. it'd work so freaking well in novel form but I just Do Not have the dedication or the drive to start from scratch and rewrite everything that happens.
idk how else to share the updated version of that part of the story with y'all tho, considering that Khalan's journal is insanely outdated now and isn't entirely canon anymore, so I'll probably just have to accept that I likely won't ever be able to update the story for y'all in the way I wish I could. >n<;;
#spectre says#text post#delete later probably#tbh i'm so tired of being tired#i've had like. no energy to write or draw#even tho. the ideas are there. i've got so many concepts going through my head that i could work on and turn into some kind of tangible art#i tried writing out a new outline for act ii but i got overwhelmed with all the changes and plot holes that still need working out#so idk if i'll even continue with that#even tho it's just bullet points#fhgdjkfg#anyway#the idea of writing everything in novel form just sounds like. SO perfect for the story as it is now#i'd love. to establish both khalan and antony as main characters and focus on what happens to both of them while in Atria#eventually having their stories collide when antony's side of things merges with what's going on with khalan and aya#it'd feel less jarring than how it worked out in the journal#because this part of the story is just as much antony's story as it is khalan and aya's#and he's ultimately the one who fixes things and has 'main character energy' by the end of that act#so establishing him as one of the tertiary main characters early on makes sense i think#but yeah. there's just a lot i'd need to do and i know i wouldn't be able to keep up with it if i did try to start writing.#IM JUST RAMBLING NOW IM SORYO#it's just been on the brain i guess
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