#ugly greasy awkward offputting weird | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kawaii-kushami · 3 months ago

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having one of those mid-20s moments where you're like well damn. im really not a teenager anymore i dont hate myself anymore actually. like its insane

sorry i gotta ramble but this feels too silly to post anywhere else

#kk.txt #not snz #like for a while even the thought of like admitting i didn't hate myself felt like.. like i was being full of myself #idk what clicked in my brain a few years ago but it felt like i started to see myself more and like understand myself as a person #like i would a friend. and i just didn't think like that before i guess lmao #but like idk i dont talk about my personal life much but ive been recovering from post-pandemic agoraphobia #and i just went on my first big trip alone and im like. god its barely there anymore its just a little shadow in the corner of my mind #that only spreads occasionally now instead of overwhelming me #like im still terrible at a lot a lot a lot of social interaction type stuff but im like.. doing better than i thought id be able to #a few years ago. like idk im not good at.. change and especially conceptualizing myself as someone who can change and be fluid #like i really do think a majority of my person like my core morals and demeanor havent changed that much. and i like that #it makes me feel more secure to be that way #but at the same time its like my mental image isn't nearly as self hating as it used to be #like i used to picture myself as coming off basically the same way as that girl from watamote lmao like #ugly greasy awkward offputting weird #but now im like.. im just some guy... like yeah i have less experience putting effort into my appearance and i slouch and i have acne #but i am also capable of looking good occasionally. i dont need to do it all the time #ok i got off the bus and my train of thought died goodbye

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